#im a solid no like i literally never name layers

[visage-of-hell]

Respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better.

Roleplayer name: Everyone calls me Yeen, cuz my online handle across a lotta places is usually "YeenQueen" or some variation of that, and my Twitch channel is called "YeenQueenGaming".

Roleplayer pronouns: She/Her

Muse name(s): Visage, but goes by "Vizzy" or "Viz" for short in most social situations.

Preferred communication: Discord, 100%. I literally LIVE on there when I'm not on here or in one of my games. Even take it on the go with the mobile app. I'm totally good with Tumblr IMs, though, don't get me wrong! My only beef with them is the fact that I often don't get notifications from it in real time. It either never pings at all or it makes the sound without the chat actually updating until I refresh the page. Fix your damn spaghetti code, Tumblr, for FUCK'S sake! XD

Experience: Honestly? I've been RPing in SOME form or another since my preteen years. Originally it was IRC chat rooms, then MUCKs (for those who remember those), forums, over email, online games (which I still do in WoW to this very day) ... and then it moved on to whichever instant messaging program was most popular at the time--ICQ, AOL Instant Messenger, MSN Messenger, Skype, and now Discord. I've been on and off with Tumblr across various fandoms for yeeeeeeears now. Since at LEAST 2014, as one of the earliest RP blogs I ever made was a Dhalish elf OC within the Dragon Age fandom.

Preferred roleplay type: Multi-para/novella style, 100%. I do NOT know when to stop, if a scene REALLY gets me going. I have hit the size limit on Tumblr posts on MULTIPLE occasions. I write third person perspective and that usually comes with a lot of inner dialogue and thoughts from the character's perspective in addition to reacting to whatever is happening in a given scene.

Pet peeves & dealbreakers: I always worry that I'm being elitist by saying this, but solid punctuation, spelling and grammar are all EXTREMELY important to me. I gravitate towards people with complimentary writing styles to my own for full RP immersion, so writing with people that deviate from that are just a no-go for me. I'm so sorry. >_< Also people who leave me to do most of the heavy lifting in terms of moving a scene forward. Gimme things to react to, to build upon, a sense of direction, y'know? If I'm constantly the one that has to keep the plot momentum going, I'm gonna burn out and lose interest FAST. Also people who use my characters like "props" rather than having real genuine interactions with them (be it as allies, enemies or something somewhere in between).

Best time to write: Late night, for sure. Not just because that's when all my creative juices flow the best but also because everyone's in bed for the night and I have zero RL interruptions to break my flow. If good ol' insomia has struck again, though, wee early hours of the morning are also probable writing times, cuz the same reasoning still applies!

Are you like your muse? I'd like to think I do a FAIRLY good job of keeping my OCs from coming off as self-inserts, BUT ... let's be honest--we all put at least a LITTLE of ourselves into our OCs, in SOME way/shape/form. I wish I had Vizzy's confrontational prowess and zero bullshit-taking attitude, and that I was anywhere NEAR as good in a fight and on the dance floor as she is, but there IS one thing she and I definitely have in common--the obsessive drive to escape. For me it's writing, gaming and crafting, but the motivation is much the same. It's always so much easier to just bury the pain and the bad under layers of good times and feel-good vibes than to actually CONFRONT that darkness head-on. Much like Vizzy, I try to but don't always succeed ... but I'd like to think that someday I'll have a much better success rate than she does. Eventually. XD

Tagged by: @doublejango

Tagging: @poisonedspider @cup-0fp0isonx @arachnoheaux @shattered-divinity @hcllsbigboss @radiomurdeer @voxuli & ANYONE else who wants to! <3

[abimee]

hi! this might be a bit silly since you've been doing this for longer but. im finally getting sai and moving to digital art! so i was wondering did u just improvise when u first started using this or watch a video or something? I'm kinda lost. thanku either way

yeah i kind of just improvised, i started digital art when i was young and it went mspaint -> flash paint (exact name it was literally a flash program where you drew and you got Two Layers to use) -> sumopaint -> SAI, so by SAI i had a grasp of general art program understanding and just sort of started clicking around on stuff until i vaguely knew what i was doing. i would say watch a tutorial or find a guide to use SAI if you really want to, but SAI is great in that its very simple and everything is pretty clearly marked and directly in front of you (as in very little dropdown menus and insane shortcuts/technical capabilities), so just messing around and playing with the UI and scribbling out stuff is also a way to simply learn SAI.

i never look at tutorials or guides for anything related to art, and i think the last time i googled something about SAI was to figure out how to make an image transport as transparent (make a layer thats a solid color like blue, hide the layer, and save the file as ARGB and not RGB when prompted). but this also differs bevause it is your first experience using a digital program seriously i assume? so there is no harm in looking up a guide, its not lesser to need help or anything. congrats on making the move to digital art though anon i hope you bountiful drawings and the joy of being able to undo a line

if you ever need tips or anything for specific stuff that i can help with more, like learning blending and persistence/dilution and how to create certain effects. if you have the texture pack in SAI too i can open your world with all sorts of crunchy brushes

[usertoxicyaoi]

hey faiza! have u seen that tweet saying the night they finished filming, win woke up in the middle of the night and said “it’s sad to think i won’t get to be tine again” and bright going “you’re just now feeling that? i started feeling it since last night” :((( they are so attached to their characters they love them so much im so glad they got to be sarawat and tine and we’re so blessed it’s them

hiii anon!! i did see it, the day he tweeted that out, and i wrote a post talking about how much that got to me. like. apparently, win was so so sick on that final day of shooting the ep 11 forest scenes, and yet. and YET. he did that. God. win's put so much ... effort into being tine i honestly do not know how he handled the pressure, weight loss wise and everything else as well. i still wish people gave him more credit and appreciated him a bit more bc ... he said that tine isn't really all that much like win himself, in that, tine is always high energy buzzing around but that win himself isn't like that, so being like that all the time would wear him out when they were shooting (coupled with the fact that he was legit starving himself to lose weight). and getting to see win's performances now, especially when it comes to seeing how well he portrays tine's insecurities, the way he acted out tine crying???

he is ... icb this is his first role??? and i just wish people appreciated win outside of him being this cheerful rich guy that he's always getting boxed down into and that they took him a bit more seriously and put some respect on his name and view him as a Good Solid Rookie Actor and A Real Human Being bc bright's said that ... win actually really really worries and stresses out so so much but he won't ever voice it out loud and he wishes that win would sometimes. and i wish people would stop labelling tine as this "dumb boy" bc ... its a Lot Lot more than that. tine has so many different faces to him and win blends them all so seamlessly to make tine this character that has so so many layers to him. like these 2 things grate me so much lmao and they're my biggest pet peeve.

and of course win would become so attached to tine bc its his debut role. he said he waited 2 whole years and took actng classes for 2 whole years just to debut on 2gether. and he's done so so well that it hurts when we saw him in jennie's reaction vid, literally microanalysing and scrutinising himself through a microscopic lense of how he was acting. i just wish he was a bit more confident in that aspect of himself, but that will slowly come, just like how doing solo livestreams so naturally came to him bc he and bright have said a few times that when its win alone, he gets so so shy and doesnt know what to say bc, if you notice in interviews, bright usually does most of the talking and win listens and then adds on, and he likes it this way. and i remember him doing an ig live once and there were long extended pockets of ... just ... silence bc he was so unsure. but then look at his solo live at lunch! he did so so well!!!! so it came with time. and i hope that confidence of being able to relax and not scrutinise his work so much comes too.

but yeah, i just hope he knows how well he's played tine. and i hope to god that every single person who doubted win last year when the first trailer was released and said that win could never be tine bc he didnt look like tine at all have taken back what they said bc i ... cannot see anyone else other than win play tine (not even bright, who was initally meant to play tine!)

[corvidshipping]

modern au red/milo dump while i try to get myself together to answer asks nd work on ATJ:

(tw for alcohol mentions near the end, also this is an EXTREMELY long post, its so long that even after i split it into categorized sections each section could be its own post)

CLOTHING

milo absolutely has no sense of fashion. i feel like this is basically canon - for the styles at the time, he dresses fairly basic, mostly focused on looking put together for his job (definitely dresses aimed more towards how he would like to be treated by his peers, despite his actual position - then again our best example outside of the expedition is when he's about to deliver what he considers the most important presentation of his life, so who knows, maybe he usually dresses like a slob). aside from that his main concern seems like practicality and comfort. his wardrobe is dominated by earth tones - beiges and greens set with white and greys. all of that taken into account, i can see him dressing like this in a more modern era:

basically- a lot of cardigans, usually collared shirts or comfortable turtlenecks (since he does still occupy a research position at the smithsonian, even if only in title), big ol' coats, khakis and chinos and slightly stiff dress pants complete with ironed creases. i can see him wearing similar clothes outside work, just more comfortable - jeans and knitted shirts, henleys, more turtlenecks, and comfy cardigans over short sleeved shirts. i dont really see him wearing a lot of prints, i think he'd veer more towards solid clothes in lighter colors, but maybe he has a few. hes definitely the kind of guy to think of wearing the single graphic tee he owns as "bold and wild".

im very married to the idea of him wearing converse though. i cant explain it. milo in converse keeps me going in this world

hes kind of broke so i think maybe he got the converse secondhand maybe? or a gift of some kind. aside from the converse i can see him wearing a lot of oxfords and maybe wingtips

i want to see him in a hawaiian shirt so bad. i am losing it at this thought. he buttons it all the way up to his neck like someones awkward dad. milo wears a hawaiian shirt to "let loose". he wears it with like, khakis. or knee length jorts AHHHHDJHDSGJHDSJGh

a tie??? does he wear his hawaiian shirt with a tie???? does he think it makes it look cooler?????????? i am sobbing

red is the COMPLETE opposite. in the canon 1914 setting, red is already very rebellious for an AFAB person of their era- theyre openly a suffragette, they frequently refuse to wear skirts even in public and dress in mens clothes even before they were openly nonbinary, despite not being accepted into the male-dominated research fields and colleges they continue to educate themself with or without help, they purposely aim for an "unfeminine" silhouette when they dress, refuse to wear corsets, etc. (spoiler alert- there's a clear reason they get on so well with audrey in ATJ)

theyre also easily mistaken by people that didnt know them prior to their transition for being just a very small/young cis man- even though they canonically have a very soft "traditionally feminine" face

so basically, in any era theyre set into, red is always gonna aim to be ahead of the curve- both in their personal beliefs and practices and in their fashion. theyre also very androgynous in their clothes, although they tend to aim a bit more masculine (thats partially due to the era though, and having been forced into skirts exclusively for their entire life- i think in a modern setting where its more acceptable for AFABs to dress and act in a less hyperfeminine way, theyd be more okay with a fluidity in their gender presentation).

all that taken into account, i can see them dressing like this:

lots of baggy clothes, especially baggy jackets and shirts. they like loose fitting high waisted pants like JNCO jeans, cargo pants, etc but they arent averse to pencil legs. they rarely ever wear skinny jeans or drainpipes though. messy hair is a lifestyle for them- their haircut is definitely home-done

you know how in BICSTLY they used to have really long hair before they cut it? in a modern au i can see them impulsively doing the cut at like 3am and waking milo up at his door cause they screwed it up and he ends up having to help fix it (even though hes literally no better at cutting hair than them. worse even)

definitely have an undercut bob- bob on top, shaven on the bottom layer. they might end up growing their hair into a mullet at some point if they get bored. probably dyes their hair all the time out of boredom and then regrets it later and has to use dye remover.

lots of ripped tights and fishnets, leggings with big loose crop tops, big hoodies, safety pin jewelry and homemade jewelry. maybe some sticknpokes.

all that said, they still know how to dress in a professional situation. since its a modern au theres really nothing holding them back from the education and career they canonically want but cant get in the 1910s, so i imagine they would work at the smithsonian as well, maybe their father helped them get the job? potentially in that case they might be his assistant- after all, he trusts their opinion on artifacts more than anyone else's.

at work you can still very much see the punk/skater/grunge/goth style but its more understated- turtlenecks, high waisted and looser dress pants, lots of black, slightly unbuttoned collared shirts with a loose overcoat and no tie

since i elaborated on milos shoe taste i may as well elaborate on red's: they definitely wear converse as well, probably newer than milo's since their father is fairly wealthy and they can afford it. they also have a doc martens collection. they have a pair of demonias but they never wear them and milo is really the only person to even know they own them, let alone see them in them. they really dont like to wear heels much, but they own a few just to play around with. they have a bad habit of wearing any laced shoes untied, but they never trip over the laces. they also use lace code- their most-worn Docs have purple laces on the right foot and yellow on the left. some of their Docs have (reclaimed) pink laces.

has an extensive pin collection including feminism pins, anti-racism pins, punk-related pins, skater-related pins, and pop culture pins (80s music, modern music, old movies, etc)

MUSIC TASTE

milo's into a lot of older music- stuff from the 50s is his favorite. really into jazz and ballroom style stuff. his favorite band is queen, i think- he likes the old-fashioned sound, the jazz-chamber-ballroom influences, the diversity of their lyrics, and the complexity between the guitar riffs, the basslines, and freddie's vocal runs as well as the vocal harmonies.

sometimes he hums good old fashioned lover boy to red and they two-step in the living room in their pajamas :pleading:

also very into rush. yes, he is a rush guy :pensive:.

also listens to a surprising amount of lo-fi? he really likes stuff that remixes older music with hip hop and lofi elements, like earl grey. nearly exclusively into instrumental stuff but also very into louie zong. he listens to it while he works a lot.

knows a lotttt of foreign artists, especially niche ones. fuckin LOVES casiopea

red's spotify is a goddamn mess. everything from 2000s emo, to classic 70s punk, to post-punk and new wave, to 90s pop, to rap. they cant be easily classified at all

their favorite bands are oingo boingo, prince, queen (they listen to a lot of their harder-rock music, but milo knows theyre into the ballads too. theyll never tell anyone else though), doja cat, lil nas, fall out boy, and billie eilish.

red recites the intro monologue to lets go crazy very seriously to make milo laugh, sometimes. they get very into it with their facial expressions. sometimes it devolves into a full air guitar/keyboard/drum and wild dancing session. milo does not know how to participate in this but he loves watching them have fun with it. sometimes they pull him off the couch to make him dance with them, though

they are a huge sucker for dark pop, vaporwave, retrowave, EDM, hip hop, emo, punk... etc etc. anything that combines any two or more of those genres in an original or interesting way gets their attention right away

there's a lot of sharing between the two of them- even though their music tastes are so different, they like a lot of the others taste, and theyre always up to listen to whatever their partner is playing.

red is a huge softie, and milo has found them more than once listening to or humming something he was playing for them the other day because it reminded them of him

speaking of which- in the 1914 canon, red can play piano. i think that carries over to a modern au, where they could play piano and by extension keyboard. i like to think they experiment with a lot of instruments but i doubt they ever really mastered any others. maybe theyre okay at drums or bass?

they learned to play and sing teo torriatte for milo, as a surprise. when they first performed it for them, they had everything set up for when he got home from work- the lights were dimmed, they had candles lit around the keyboard, they draped stuff in cloth to make it look pretty, they scattered flower petals around. when milo walked in and saw it all, he almost proposed then and there- the only thing that stopped him was that he would kick himself for the rest of his life if he did that without a ring.

HOBBIES/ACTIVITIES

milo is still an avid chess player in this, but i like to think hes in some kind of groupchat or text or discord server for it. he doesnt necessarily consider any of the others in the chat close friends, but he does know them all by name

he tries to get red into chess but they never really get it

he tells them all about the stuff that goes down in the games and they just. do not understand. but they love listening to him get excited about it anyway

"red you're not gonna BELIEVE this, eddie played an italian game on star today! i thought for sure she would see through it since everyone knows it but she slipped and he beat her in like, 13 moves! i wouldnt have believed it if i hadnt been there!"

"yes sweetie please tell me more" (barely disguised pained expression)

red is a skater and a regular at the skate park by the smithsonian

most regulars there know them by name, they can spot a newbie a mile away

they have a sticker of a broken tv with a skull inside of it on the underside of their board, its become recognized as a symbol of them unofficially

since theyre so regular and have been going there a lot longer than most of the other skaters that frequent the place, a lot of what they say is kind of just accepted as the rules

they have a bad habit of lecturing new kids who show up without knee/elbow pads or helmets at the very least. all the other skaters enforce it too. kids dont end up showing up without protective gear very often after their first visit

they brought a first aid kid and left it there and everyone has kept it stocked pretty well without them having to have much input. its kind of just a communal first aid kit

they once drew the broken tv symbol on the inside of a half-pipe and everyone started calling it red's ramp after that

they also started calling the bowl at the center of the park the Soup Bowl and now thats just accepted as the name. some of the newer kids genuinely thought that it was called that by the park and were shocked when they found out it was just a random nickname red gave it one day

theyve brought milo a few times but hes extremely awkward on his feet and could never really get his balance on a skateboard, and quite frankly red is afraid of what might happen if he tried even a low ramp, so he usually just sits at the rim of the bowl while red skates around

everyone knew he was their boyfriend before they even met him. a few of the regulars called him by name right away. one of them was certain red had brought him before.

but no

they just talk so fuckin much about him that its like they already know him

aside from skateboarding, red is pretty good on rollerskates/blades

they tried to take milo to a roller rink once but it was a disaster and they ended up going home, changing into pajamas, ordering chinese food, and marathoning movies till they fell asleep on the couch together. so not a total loss

theyre both very into movies. red is deep into horror and milo likes indie/art movies and just Cannot handle horror at all, but they both agree on old movies, from the 80s and 90s to like the 30s.

red has shown milo some of the classic horror movies and the niche old ones (from like the 40s) since theyre not difficult to stomach

every so often when red brings up wanting to see a horror movie milo is like "aw babe we can watch that tonight i promise it wont be bad" and he genuinely thinks he can handle it this time

he cant

he never can

it is always a lie

red ends up holding him every time and talking him to sleep, but it thankfully never causes like a major panic attack or anything like that

they love going to museums together, of all kinds. they love art museums. they also go to aquariums and aviaries

sometimes they like to go to other history museums and criticise the veracity or accuracy of exhibits/translations, all in good fun of course. theyre never actually being mean about it

SIDENOTES/UNCATEGORIZED

they both used to work at starbucks, when they were younger and before they worked at the smithsonian. they worked at separate stores 2 blocks from each other.

milo cant stand soda or carbonated drinks, red can and will chug a java monster in order to survive a long workday if they must. milo is constantly concerned for their health and wellbeing

they r both lightweights when it comes to drinking. they can split a six pack and both be falling-over drunk by the end of the night.

given the changes in beauty standards people DEFINITELY think milo is more attractive than they would in 1914. cmon. hes a lil twinky nerd. you think people wont eat that up?

he never really catches onto the flirting much though

did u think i would forget ki/da and the others? youd be wrong.

i simultaneously like the idea of something similar to the movie happening, but also just like... ki/da just being a regular person living on the surface. in either case they r all friends still

in the case of ki/da just being a regular person on the surface- i like the idea of atl/antis just being A Place in this au, maybe its a bit of a closed off country though? like, not many foreigners live there and to get there you basically need to be there as a diplomat or a scholar

maybe ki/da visits DC as a diplomat? she is a princess, after all

red meets audrey online cause they both yell at the same misogynistic asshole on twitter

they exchange discord names in the replies of the tweet and tell the guy not to interrupt them while theyre talking in his replies

i like to think red and milo are selected to go on an academic visit to atl/antis (to learn about the culture, with permission of the king), and audrey ends up as the mechanic on the ship during the visit and theyre like (spiderman pointing meme) at each other

red and audrey have so many inside jokes that they basically speak a different language. milo gets some of the terms from context and pop culture (they use "so very" in real life- as in "wow, that shirt is so very.") but he is hopeless to learn all of it

one of their inside jokes is any variation of "milo hot girl summer" and they REFUSE to explain it to him no matter how much he begs

milo wears that iconique tank top on the ship and they say it literally any time he bends over, picks anything up, reaches for anything, moves, BREATHES. he is bewildered and at this point concerned

(in truth, the joke came from red taking a really blurry picture of him in a short sleeve shirt where he looked pretty cute and captioned it "milo's having a hot girl summer rn" and they just could not stop repeating it once audrey met him IRL)

they have a minecraft world. i do like to believe that every so often vinny finds a way in- theyre never sure how- and griefs the shit out of them by blowing up EVERY. monument.

this post is getting long bc im enraptured by the idea of an atl/antis modern au so im cutting it off here but expect WAY MORE later

[second-chance-stray]

RP Log: Rising takes Cravs out to skyfish. Egg fish.

Rising Lotus still looked a bit wobbly on her feet as they made their way through the aetheryte plaza. "Ugh, wasn't even a long airship trip..." she took a few deep breaths, trying to collect herself now that they were on solid land... more or less.

Cravendy Hound , in contrast, is in high spirits. She steps out onto the floating island with wonder lighting up her eyes, and she dashes out to an edge to get a better look. "Risin', ye got to work on yer sea legs...or air legs, in this case? Anyway, holy. Shit. What the 'ells keepin' all these rocks flyin' up?"

Rising Lotus: "Some sort of air crystals or somethin' I think? Some sort of aethery type of deal, someone explained it to me when I came here the first time but I don't remember the specifics." she shrugged ."It ain't too far from the spot...which is weird cause you think you could jus' cast out off any side."

Cravendy Hound shrugs. Magic didn't make much sense to her as well. She would follow Rising to whatever spot she was talking about, chatting along the way. "So, ye showed me that weird balloonfish last time, but what else could we drag up?"

Rising Lotus shrugged. "There's lots of different air fish. Some ain't really look like fish though, least not where I casted off here." she started down the way. "But I guess it counts as long as you hook it?"

Cravendy Hound: "I mean, if we're tossin' our 'ooks off a cliff, seems reasonable ye'd catch things other than fish. Like, birds, maybe." She pauses every once and awhile to observe the native flora and fauna around these parts, having never seen anything quite like it.

Rising Lotus approached the edge cautiously, looking out on the vast cloudscape. "Think over here was the place. I remember these weird plants." she plopped down,  setting her tackle box between them. "Also careful when you go for some bait, it has a tendency to... uh float away."

Cravendy Hound: "What?" Cravs goes for Rising's tackle box and opens it, letting a couple of red balloon bugs drifting out. "What?!"

Rising Lotus was able to snag one out of the air as the others wafted away on the breeze. "See? You jus' wanna hook 'em..." she slid the hook into the body part instead of the balloon part, so that it still could float on her line. "Like this. So they can still float. You'll probably still pop a few though on your first try." She then casted her line out, line floating about with the stange bug hook on.

Cravendy Hound does her best to catch some of the bait before it flies away, but the wind blows away most of the escapees. Following Rising's lead, she stabs one a little too roughly through her hook. It's not floating at all anymore. That's not a good sign.

Cravendy Hound throws caution to the wind and decides, screw it. She casts off with the dead bug anyway. The chill really sets in once she begins waiting in earnest. "Eesh, it's colder than I thought up 'ere."

Rising Lotus snickered as Cravs had a deflated bait hanging from her line. "It's a little tricky, the ballon part is way bigger than the non-balloon part." she shrugged as she cast off anyway. "You think it'd be warmer since we're closer to the sun."

Cravendy Hound feels something tug on the other end and she pulls up a...weird? Purple circle? Cravs can't tell if this is a living creature or skytrash. "I think I caught this through pure luck."

Cravendy Hound: "Well, the tops of mountains tend to be cold? Maybe whatevers 'oldin' in all the warm air becomes thinner the 'igher ye go."

Rising Lotus reels in the same thing, unhooking it then tossing it away, watching it drift away. "Wonder what those things are, weird purple balls." she casted off again. " I got some other bait in there too, these giant bugs. But ya know, different from these bugs."

Cravendy Hound gives her Storm Core a confused squeeze and the thing begins to deflate, spitting out questionable liquid as it becomes as flat as a pancake. Cravs feels a tinge bad, decides to toss it off the cliff as if releasing a fish. The purple thing descends and disappears below the cloud layer. It's probably fine, she tells herself!

Cravendy Hound: "Other bait? Giant...bugs?" Cravs mutters apprehensively. "How big we talkin' 'ere."

Rising Lotus: "Well their body is small, but it has super long legs." she motioned to a small cage with Giant Crane Fly fluttering about. "...So...how did Riylli take... ya know.." she reeled in once more after asking, pulling in a small slug like thing with little wings, giving it a strange look. "...it's like some small angel thing."

Cravendy Hound peers over at the bait and lets out a breath of relief. "Oh, that's nothin', I thought ye were talkin' like, /big/ bugs. Like this bug." She spreads her hands a few ilms apart, invisibly outlining something the size of a loaf of bread.

Cravendy Hound: "She took it well enough...at least, don't think we 'ave to worry about 'er gabbin' to Momori anymore. I think it'd be good to keep 'er and Florus separated though, she still wants to tear 'im a new one."

Rising Lotus "Well yeah that was a no brainer...good though. I was worried 'bout her runnin' with Momori... an' her bein' as naive as she is at times...well..." she let out a sigh at the thought before reeling in another catch. It looks like a weird mass of cloth moving about. "Whoah.." she held her line up so she could look at its form better. Whiteloom

Cravendy Hound: "While most Eorzeans don't take kindly to Garleans, I think somethin' personal must've 'appened with Riylli to make 'er distrust 'em that much...and she's sheltered, too. Bein' in the woods for all yer life don't do the mind any good."

Cravendy Hound glances over at Rising's catch and lets out an amused snort. "Hah, did ye accidentally reel in someone's smallclothes?"

(Cravendy Hound) Buoyant Oviform UMM )) (Cravendy Hound) THATS JUST AN EGG?? )) (Rising Lotus) What's the lady's name they're trying to stop again?)) (Rising Lotus) and yes that's an egg)) (Cravendy Hound) Mindred Rot? )) (Rising Lotus) okay thanks I was blanking xD))

Rising Lotus looked again at her catch. "..Well them Ishgarde folk do wear that frilly stuff." She carefully unhooked it and tossed it over the edge only for it to start swimmin' back through the air.

Rising Lotus: "But aye... worried someone's gonna take advantage of that...someone like Momori or Rot."

Cravendy Hound: "Good thing Riylli's got us to protect 'er, then. Or try. She's pretty stubborn."

Cravendy Hound - Something tugs on the line and she reels in an egg of all things. Cravs holds it in her hand, stunned into a prolonged silence.

Cravendy Hound: "...AY. OKAY, NOW I KNOW YER MESSIN' WITH ME." She turns to Rising with the egg brandished like a club. "The purple beachball and cloth thing were fishy enough, but an egg?! What do ye take me for? Are ye, like, attachin' crap to my line or somethin'?!"

Rising Lotus was about to speak on the Riylli matter when Cracs pulled up an egg. "Huh... that is an egg." she cocked her head. "..so there are eggs floatin' 'round up here too? I mean... does it hatch into things?" she gave it a puzzled look, losing her own bait. "How in the hells would I do that? I'm right here with you!" she set herself up and cast out again.

Cravendy Hound: "I dunno, ye tell me! Did ye 'ire a moogle to loiter below us? Or maybe yer usin' magic. That shit can do anythin'," Cravs rambles as she grips the egg in her hand. "Well, the jig is up!"

Cravendy Hound tosses the egg against the ground, smashing it. A tiny, weird fish splats out of it and flops futilely as Cravs goes from confused to seconds away from losing her mind.

(Cravendy Hound) I have no idea but like - if eggs can fly.................. )) (Rising Lotus) These eggs can! If they're even eggs)) (Cravendy Hound) sus eggs ))

Rising Lotus "I don't know any magic! Aside from some of that blue kind I haven't practiced in...whoah!" she was jerked forward from the tug on her line, causing her to stand up and fight with it. "This ones feels big..." her eyes darted down to the edge nervously and inched back a decent amount of ilms. Eventually with a mighty tug a shark swooped up over the side, thrashing about as it landed on the edge before Rising.

Rising Lotus: "...It's a flyin' shark!" her face lit up, though the creature's resistance broke through, biting through her line and the fly-swimming off.

Cravendy Hound peels her eyes off of the questionable fish-egg and hurries to loop her arm around Rising's elbow. "Don't let it drag ye off! It's a long way down!"

Cravendy Hound: "Well, shit! That's a flyin' fish if I ever saw one," Cravs points out. "But like, a /real/ one, not just the glidin' type I see on the water."

Rising Lotus grunted as it flew off. "Well it was a fish.." she watched it fly off into the distance and back into the clouds. " Ain't ever had that happen before. You'll vouch for me that I caught a sky shark right? I'll vouch for your egg." she snickered.

Cravendy Hound narrows her eyes again. "Ye say that, and people'll just think yer loony. Damnit, I wanna hook a shark too." She stabs another balloon bug onto her hook and decides to change spots - maybe standing somewhere else, she'll have more luck?

Cravendy Hound: "Anyway, what exactly did ye promise to Momori? Somethin' 'bout takin' 'er to Idyllshire? Gods, I feel bad that yer stickin' yer neck out for me to begin with..."

Rising Lotus made her way down the way and cast out again. "Ugh... all I could offer was some connections out there, which even that I ain't thrilled about. Gotta warn 'em 'bout her." she sighed. "An' don't worry 'bout it...gotta look out for you to."

Cravendy Hound blinks several times at that last part, two parts dazed and one part embarrassed. Mixed in is also that feeling of fear you get when you look down a cliff - which /may/ be from literally looking down a cliff. She's not sure. "Ah. Well. I can look after myself...but I appreciate the 'elp anyway."

Cravendy Hound: "We look out for each other." Cravs pauses, then glances up to give Rising a shy smile. She finds her footing. "..A 'ound never 'unts alone.

Rising Lotus nodded, returning the smile as she idly reeled in her line. "Aye..." she chewed her lower lip, looking like she was fighting with something. "...I was alone for a bit before I joined up with Heartwood. Was...a bit hard...so.. ya know...you an' Riylli..." she trailed off, reeling in her next catch.

Cravendy Hound tilts her head as she listens to Rising, every word slow and careful. Which struck her as odd, but then again, Cravs figured she was feeling just the same way. "Yeah! It's good the three of us stumbled into each other. Ain't good bein' alone all the time."

Rising Lotus fished up an egg of her own, breaking the tender moment by by grabbing it and shoving it in Crav's face "See! I wasn't putting you on! There are jus'..." she looked at the egg in her hand "..these things floatin' about.." she shrugged and tossed it away.

Rising Lotus: "..b-but yeah...Thanks." she smiled weakly, though it looked like something was still bothering her a bit.

Cravendy Hound rolls her eyes with a smirk. "Well I'll be...ye also got one of them flyin' eggs. Either there really are eggs just out there, waitin' and willin' to be fished up, or we're both goin' crazy from bein' up 'ere too long. If they're aren't just a 'allucination, we should shove 'em in a carton at 'ome as a prank. See if someone bakes a cake with it."

Cravendy Hound: "Anyway, I'm gonna 'ead back. My nose's gonna be frozen solid if I stay out 'ere any longer." She packs up her rod and bumps Rising on the shoulder with a clenched fist as she begins to walk back. "Thanks for takin' me out. Shout if anythin's givin' ye trouble."

Rising Lotus nodded. "Aye, I think I've had enough of starin' off into...certain death." she stashed her rod away. " Glad we finally had a chance to go out here." she rubbed her elbow a bit at her offer, glancing back over the edge before nodding lightly. "..A-alright." she shivered a bit as the chill was finally starting to get to her as well. "..I wonder if they got a bar in that town back there.."

[squid--inc--writes]

purgatory

so, I decided to finally finish writing that piece from a really fucked up dream I had. this probably doesn`t cover a quarter of it, but I enjoyed it, and its the first solid writing piece I`ve had in 2 years, so I`m proud.

@schwarzekatzen @wettthepottterheadss4120

warning: gore, gross descriptions, vague psychological bullshit, bullying, violence, etc.

word count:  2281

summary: you follow Trith (not mentioned in the story) on her first round to meet some of the residents within this particular realm of purgatory. Because, frankly, who else can?

My eyes open to a hollow ceiling, peering right into an attic where a familiar rocking hair rocks away. Not a care in the world about how it's up there. That would be Granny Gin. Don't know her real name, but still. She's there. Dead as ever, and knitting away. Sometimes I sleep in long enough that her scarf reaches the floor.

Standing up, groggy, I make my way to do my rounds. Someone's got to make sure the dead don't panic. The first round doesn't have to be me all dressed up. Not like they care about the smell. At least I don't think they do. Can the dead smell? I don't know. At Kirby's request, I started keeping a journal so he can remember what last happened and get one step closer to getting out of here. I also want to help everyone else out of purgatory, so this is why I'm writing this. Brand spanking new. Right up on a blank page. Yep.

So, I guess my next ghastly figure is Heidi. She stands in the bathroom all day. Touching up her makeup, not changing a thing. Aside from the usual changes extended stays can cause. I think she starved to death. Couldn't tell you. She's standing there, takes a glance at me in the mirror, nods, then tries another colour of lipstick. She's been here a while, so that means three eyes, each one a distinct colour of red, blue or yellow. She also has glowing skin, and her legs are becoming more horse like. Maybe her puzzle would be solved by getting her life a little STABLE. Hah. Get it? Why would I write down my laugh?

Whatever, I'm not going to erase anything or cross it out. The thoughts of the living might help, even abstractly.

The next is the hallway. Bert walks along, holding a gas can thing. Y'know, an old timey thing they used to gas bugs? I'm not sure, I can't recall ever needing an exterminator.

He tips his hat to mean, "hey there, lil' lady. Didn't the landlord tell ya to keep out of the building for the next day or so? Don't worry. I'll wait to do my work until you get out. I'll just let 'im know I'll be a bit late starting."

I nod, "thank you." Sometimes it's easier to play along. I feel he's been a tad testy, so I try not to agitate him. Usually I can pass by just fine. Maybe he had anger issues. Try and work his puzzle out like that. Ironically, he resembles a cockroach by now. He doesn't have hands, but the rigid limbs that should have been his hands were made of a hardened skin. It chipped away from his bones like it knew it wasn't supposed to look like that. I rarely look him in the face, both because he looks… interesting, but also because it tends to aggravate him. Maybe it's the way I look at him. He's yelled at me for being a large bug before, not always a roach. I just don't want to get hit again. Maybe I shouldn't help him.

Next up, Theodore and Teddy. They have the same name, and they yell at each other from across the hall. They each have their own rooms. Sometimes they switch rooms. They seem to be connected at this point, literally. They have long strings of flesh swinging from between their bodies. At one point, they got cut, and you see everything pouring out. They acknowledge it in their recent arguments, getting mad at the other for not making enough of an effort to keep it all in. Theodore usually doesn't have a jaw anymore, since it melted down, combined with his clothes. I can't check on Mindy anymore thanks to them. I don't think I want to.

However, I think the problem revolves around they're communication. But that's an obvious point. Maybe they need to accept their own responsibility for their misfortunes.

Mindy… last time I saw her, she had dolls connecting to her through thousands of strands of veins, and nerves, and all other sorts of things. They aren't all made of plastic anymore, last time I saw her.

Theodore says to me, as if his chin wasn't sitting where his stomach would be, "hello dear. How are you today?"

"I'm doing well. Thank you. How are you and Teddy today?"

Teddy snorts from the other room, dusting off an old hat, and placing it on his head, "I'm fine. Perfectly."

Theodore rolled his eyes, "we're as well as ever. Just a lovers' quarrel."

Teddy got offended, ripping the hat off, "oh, NOW we're lovers?"

I nod, and quickly leave before they start trying to pull their guts to their respective sides, and spitting insults. It never ends well.

Next up, Patty and Simone, standing on the stairs. They are actually quite friendly with each other. Patty asking Simone about her husband, Simone asking how Patty's been, after her being widowed and all. They swap recipes regularly. Patty very much seems like she killed her husband. And some of the recipes they swap sound as if Simone is trying to kill her husband. If what she says is true, he deserves it. God do I hope it's not.

Simone has morphed into the railing at this point, spine jutting from bloodless flesh so she can lean on the staircase. I feel the one they used to talk at was a lot lower, considering Simone is almost nine feet in the air. Patty, however, seems to be turning to a bone statue. Her legs can no longer move, not that she moved much to begin with. Wait, no, this time she seems to be turning to ice. Her legs are quite transparent, but there's a layer of frost surrounding her feet. They never used to acknowledge me, but Simone seems to have spread to the stairs, and she'll scold me for walking too roughly. Patty gives me the most judgmental look. I think if they could move on from husband's they'd probably be home free. But that is what their lives revolved around for so long, so I'm not sure that could be easy.

Once I sneak down the stairs without slipping, or getting yelled at, it's into the kitchen I go. Sid is at the fridge constantly stuffing his face. Somehow, he's a part of the fridge. Everything drops out of his stomach back into the fridge, into a pile of slop. Like something a pig would eat. If he's particularly frantic, he'll tear chunks out of himself. I don't think they can feel it when they hurt themselves. Not unless they're supposed to…

I have no clues as to how Sid can save his puzzle. He doesn't tend to talk. I'm not sure he has vocal cords anymore. He barely has eyes.

Moving from the kitchen is the parlor. I'm not sure how this place works, so I'm not sure this is in the right place. Either way, the parlor has about seven people in here. Kirby plays checkers with Daniel, Maud watches TV with Lainey, Paula and Shess pick on Lily. 

Paula and Shess would probably be gone if they could stop, and just sincerely apologize. I'm not sure Lily is really a person though, because she's never changed once. I think she kind of looks like a mannequin, but moving. She's meant to play a part, being small, and easy to pick on. Shess shattered her arms at one point, and now just has gooey, bloody stumps with bone shards sticking out that she uses to punch lily with, and her head is being engulfed by her own skin, but her eyes seemed to have multiplied, hair having started to attach and grow off of the eyes. Like the world's grossest ice-cream cone. Paula, on the other hand, started turning into blades. Her fingernails are long and sharp, her arms have started to thin at the edges, and splinter into more blades, even her nose resembles a knife. I passed her once, her hair brushed my cheek, and I had a long cut from my temple to my chin. That wasn't fun. I can't talk to either of them. They're always caught up in bloodlust.

Lainey and Maud try to ignore Shess and Paula as much as possible. They are actually aware of their surroundings. I don't think they need my help out, because they've been fading lately, so maybe they're ready to pass on. They generally talk about the movie they're watching. Sometimes they get new snacks from an unknown source. Usually they just coo at each other about how much they love each other, and what signs to look for to find each other again. They told me that Purgatory allows you the chance to return to when you died, the chance to fade completely, or to join the better place in whatever you believed in. Purgatory is for learning lessons. They both believe in reincarnation, and fully believe they'll still love each other, no matter the timeline. It's one of the nicer conversations.

Daniel and Kirby are next up. Daniel has no idea what's going on ever. His skin seems to be made from webs, and these small black creatures weave over him all the time, anytime something starts breaking down. Which happens at every move.  Daniel seems actually peaceful here. Maybe he needs to take a stand. Especially with Kirby always cheating. He doesn't even do it subtly, he straight up takes pieces, and places them where they shouldn't be. Daniel would probably tear all his 'skin' off at this point if he tried to do something.

Kirby, however, seems to increasingly be made of greasy Hawaiian print shirts. Yes, you are made of shirts. I almost slip when I pass your table because it's not, like, slightly caked on grease, it's literally dripping, and doesn't spread past a three foot radius. Maybe if you apologized for Dan, it would help. How's that sound?

Okay, three more rooms, then I start getting ready. So, I leave the other side of the parlor, head into the hall, and head to the basement. Shimi is down here. They're just a long, skinny eel at this point. With multiple heads that bite at Shimi's main body. I'm not even sure when Shimi showed up, and I've never seen much else, so I'm not sure they can leave. I don't try to go into the water. Too scared. It's undefinably deep. Some places you can see the ground, others are holes, others are so obfuscated by flesh that has yet to melt down and turn into water. I'm sure Shimi's been here for thousands of years.

Heading back upstairs, I check on the, what I can only assume, ballroom. It's huge, and usually has a few dancing couples. This room changes a lot, and has the least mutated people in it. I remember I helped one couple realize the intense emotion they couldn't move on from was rage, at the fact that they had cheated on each other. They both felt wronged, but they were both no better than each other. The puzzle they solved involved them no longer dancing together, and finding new partners. Today it stood completely empty. Not unusual, but still. The room always unnerves me.

Next up, I like to call the nook. It's not quite in the library, but it's very cozy right outside it.

A rough, sweet voice says, "what took you so long?"

I smile at Ronnie. She's very nice. I think she is, maybe was, actually my age when she died. We're both around seventeen. She however has skin made from literal porcelain, although that does mean when she moves too much, her body starts leaking blood, like from her eyes and joints . Her hair is nearly laid around her head, a warm auburn. And I don't mean that figuratively. It literally feels the way a room with plenty of blankets and a fireplace would feel like. The nook doesn't have a fireplace, it just has Ronnie.

She rasps out, "well, are we going to have a nap? You're my favourite snuggle buddy, and I can't have one without you."

I'm pretty sure she can't leave because she's trapped in her childhood. She's told me about all her dolls, and toys. I think her house might have burned down, and she wouldn't leave them behind. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get her to leave.

I give her a closed mouth smile, and step forward, "yeah, I can help you take a nap."

I wind up cuddling up to her. And, I think I won't write much until after I get ready. Too tired. Need to wake up more.

When I'm finally up, I look up to see the hollow attic. No floor at all. Grandmother Gin rocking away in her rocking chair, completely unaware of the lack of floor.im not sure if that's actually her name. Sometimes I get up so late that her blanket actually gets in my way trying to get up. At least I don't usually get dressed up to do my first round. I don't think the dead care about when the living stink. They don't seem to care about much. I do. Speaking of stink, I am doing this for my pal Kirby. Try to keep a record and write down everything that happens. Maybe I can help him, and some of the others, out of here. That's why I'm writing this. Right here. Blank page. Well, not blank anymore. But, hey, first page, first to go.

[hashtagartistlife]

Maybe fate was called fate because some things weren’t choices; some things were simply written into his DNA, woven into the very fabric of the universe. World orders. The sky is blue. The sun is hot. He is in love with Kuchiki Rukia.

Kuchiki Rukia is dying.  

Ten years after the defeat of Yhwach, it’s time Ichigo and Rukia started facing some truths— about the world, about themselves, and about each other. 

this is all i have of this fic for now (this and a tiny little bit of chapter 3), i guess it’ll be updated when i woman the fuck up and wrack up enough nerves to keep writing which im hoping will be sometime this decade :’/ but i might post chapters i have for other unfinished fics i have over the next few days so if you’re into unfinished fics (read: literally nobody) then stick around!!! 

premise for this fic | chapter 1 here | this is chapter 2

________________________________________________________________

f r a y

by hashtagartistlife

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Two 

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9:12 am 

Kurosaki Clinic

When Renji wakes up the next morning to find Rukia safely asleep beside him, he feels the tension across his shoulders ease somewhat. They’d both been a little worried about how her sleepwalking habit might fit into this visit (even though neither of them had voiced their concerns out loud), he more so than she for reasons he had yet to disclose to her. Her breathy sigh of ‘Ichigo?’ rings in his ears. He hadn’t seen a point in telling Rukia about that, not when she was still refusing to admit she had a problem in the first place. She’d just feel needlessly guilty and isolate herself even more. Renji knows how Rukia works. What he doesn’t know is how to break through that shell she builds around herself, how to draw her out of it and get her to face her problems head-on. 

No, he admits (and he’d be lying if he said there wasn’t a trace of bitterness in the way he thought it), that’s always been Ichigo’s specialty. He looks across the rowdy breakfast table to his friend, who is sitting uncharacteristically silent with a mug of something dark and unappetising in his hands. His eyes are shadowed, tired, and when he meets Renji’s gaze he starts almost guiltily before curving his lips into an uneasy smile. 

The hell’s all that about? Renji thinks, but then Ichika slams into his knee, shoving a glass of orange juice into his face, and he puts the moment out of his mind. The rest of the morning is filled with trying out some godawful beverage called ‘coffee’ at Orihime’s behest, wrangling Ichika into human world clothes, and sending the children off, along with their mothers, to go meet Sado. He and Ichigo stay back, Ichigo to tend to his clinic and he to go see Urahara. Since gensei visits were so few and far between, even on what was ostensibly a holiday they had been saddled with checking in on the shopkeeper to exchange news and technology. Renji figures he might as well get that out of the way first, and catch up with Sado later. 

At least, he figures that until Ichigo corners him just before he walks out the door, a dark expression on his face. He looks uncomfortable, standing in the doorway of his own house, a hand on the back of his neck, and Renji notes with a kind of detached surprise that if Ichigo hadn’t been slumping, they’d be more or less at a height now. He raises an eyebrow at him in a silent question. 

“A— about Rukia—” Ichigo stumbles over the syllables in her name, and stops, wetting his lips, looking nervous. A sense of foreboding settles into Renji’s gut; Ichigo hasn’t looked this worried in— well, a decade. He stays quiet, letting Ichigo finish his question. “Has she ever— has she ever sleepwalked before?”

He freezes in his tracks; frantically, Renji rewinds last night in his mind. It’s no use; he’d been out for the count for a solid eight hours. If he hadn’t been so tired lately, he’d have thought someone had spiked his drink. Try as he might, he can’t remember Rukia slipping out of bed at all. But she’d been back in bed by the morning, so someone must have intercepted her—

Ichigo. Rukia’s voice, ghostly in his mind, calling his name. Ichigo. Ichigo. Ichigo—

His breath leaves him in a long, long sigh, and Renji closes his eyes before gesturing for Ichigo to sit. 

. 

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6:53 am

Ichigo doesn’t go back to his bed after the kiss. Instead he sits outside the clinic, on the cold hard asphalt, for one eternity— two— til the sun starts lightening the end of the street and the moon grows paler in the sky. He can still feel Rukia on his skin, in his veins, lingering like a drug that refuses to clear. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be empty of her touch now that he’s known it. 

When the moon finally disappears and the sun well and truly risen, he picks himself up from the ground and stumbles back into the house, feeling like he was the sleepwalker now. The sight of their children sprawled out together in their blanket fort brings the reality of what he’s done rushing back to him. He can’t help the reflex that brings his fingers up to ghost over his lips, like a lovesick teenager. The breath leaves his lungs like he’s been punched, and he turns away from the kids, sleeping angelically side-by-side. He can’t bear the thought of facing either of them, of facing anyone in this household any more. 

What does he do now? Does he go back to bed, pretend nothing ever happened— slip into his place beside Orihime and forget the fact that his heart is beating again for the first time in ten years? Does he come clean to her and beg forgiveness, tell her he loves her and it won’t ever happen again, or does he lock this away in a dark recess of his mind, just like he’s done with his shinigami powers and everything related to her for the last decade? His mind casts around frantically for excuses — he was tired. It was the middle of the night. Hell, he doesn’t even know if it really happened anymore — was everything a fever dream, triggered by the immense relief of seeing Rukia again? But his blood is thrumming in his veins, and the power he’d spent his entire adult life crushing down is once again swirling and eddying just under his skin, exactly like it had when he was seventeen. His hands are shaking, and his skin feels hot. He can’t lie to himself. Rukia was here. Rukia’d kissed him. He’d kissed her back. 

He drags his trembling hands over his eyes, down his face; slumps into a chair in the kitchen and attempts to evade the question that becomes more pressing with every second. What now? It was clear that Rukia had no idea what had happened. The weight of this transgression was his alone to carry. Even if she had remembered, the fault lay with him— she’d been asleep, but he’d been wide awake and had pulled her towards him. 

A part of him— the good part, the noble part, the part that had once forced its way through layers of hollow to tell his zanpakutou to fuck off out of his fight with Byakuya— is yelling at him to confess, to lay himself at Orihime’s mercy and take whatever comes from it. But a larger, more insistent part of him is asking, for what? What does telling Orihime accomplish, but the breaking of four hearts? He has never deserved Orihime, with her soft smiles and kind words to his rough edges; the fact that he is, once again, an awful person to her— for her— is not news. What is the point of ruining her spun-sugar smile with something that will never happen again—

liar

—especially when it doesn��t just involve him? If he confesses, it’s not just his head on the line; it’s Rukia’s, too, no matter the fact that she was asleep at the time. And he might be willing to risk everything he ever is or was for far less than this, but there is no way in hell he will do that to Rukia. Not for some one-off sleepwalking incident that she had no control over, and if it happens again he’ll just push her away—

liar

— and oh, god, was this a thing that happened often? Rukia’d always been a deep sleeper; she was, despite everything she insisted to the contrary, very clearly not okay if she was sleepwalking like this. 

As his thoughts spiral back to the cause of his turmoil, Ichigo becomes acutely aware of her reiatsu upstairs, thrumming rapidly like a hummingbird’s wings. It seems lighter and more unsettled than he remembers it being, and the tinge of instability to it as it flares and retreats irregularly unnerves him. Rukia’s reiatsu control has always been top-class, so this distinct lack of it triggers alarm bells in his mind. He swallows, and attempts to smooth down the ragged edges of her power with his; but wherever his reiatsu brushes against hers, it just flares brighter and more powerful and he has to give up, lest it disturb Renji or the kids.

It's been a while since he's felt someone else’s reiatsu like this, but he knows this isn't normal; concern eats at him even as it wars with an urge to ignore it and bury everything about this incident as deep as possible. Rukia isn’t an idiot, she would have gotten help if it was something serious—but would she, really? He knows better than anyone how stubborn she can be when she thinks she’s being a burden. She’d die before she let someone else take the fall for her. 

He closes his eyes. 

He scowls; ten years it’s been, and she’s still so— so— so her. Longer hair, a husband and child, a Captain’s haori, and nothing matters; she’s still stubborn, still a bitch who lives to help everyone else but won’t let anyone help her. It's evident in the way she refuses to say she’s tired, the way that Renji’s eyes follow her around everywhere, worried. She’s still the self-sacrificing idiot she’d been from day one, and he—

He is still the coward he’d been twelve years ago, when he’d watched her bleed out on the concrete before him and only then been spurred into action. 

This isn’t about him. If Rukia is ill, then he has to let someone know— someone who can actually do something about it. His feelings — whatever they are— does not factor into the equation. This is about Rukia—

— so, he needs to talk to Renji. 

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10:18 am

“Has Rukia ever sleepwalked before?”

A moment of tension across Renji’s features, and then a long, long sigh; he gestures for Ichigo to sit, and the two of them shuffle over to the recently vacated kitchen table. Renji rubs his face tiredly, and Ichigo’s sense of foreboding grows. 

“... Last night, huh?” Renji says, and Ichigo almost jumps out of his skin; did he know? Could he see— was the mark of Rukia's lips on his visible, indelible, the way it felt like to him? Could everyone read it on his face, that he and Rukia—

Renji’s voice is weary as he continues. “Yeah. Yeah, she's sleepwalked before. The past few years, actually. What did she do last night? How did you find her?”

— kissed—  “She— she walked out of the clinic and I heard the door open. Renji, is she— is she okay—”

Renji leans his elbows on the table and buries his face in his hands. “I don't know,” he breathes, frustration dripping from every syllable. “I don't know, she won't tell me, you know how she is—”

Did he ever. Ichigo remembers with vivid clarity the time she'd sustained a stomach wound, back in the days before Soul Society; she hadn’t told him for three days, and had only agreed to go see Urahara when she'd finally collapsed in his arms. 

“ — don't think I've tried—? God, doctors, healers, we've tried everything, Kuchiki-Taichou’s worried out of his mind. But she won't have any of it, says she won't let us waste time fussing over her when there are better things to worry about—”

“That fucking idiot,” Ichigo mutters, and Renji barks out what is almost a laugh. 

“Right? Drives me up the fucking wall. Wouldn't be Rukia if she didn't.”

“Guess not.”

Renji cracks a strained smile before it fades away into seriousness again. “It wasn't this bad before,” he says, and Ichigo sits up straight. 

“Recent thing, then?”

“Depends what you'd classify as recent. I mean, she's never been a heavy sleeper—”

At this, Ichigo interrupts. “Wait, really? She's always slept like the dead—” 

Renji gives him a look, and Ichigo remembers who it is that is sharing her bed now. He shuts up. 

“ — as I said, she's never slept too well, even during our Rukon days, and it got pretty bad after the war, but it wasn't— wasn’t to this extent, you know? At least, not till she had Ichika. And then— it was like a switch flipped. She couldn't get to sleep at night, and she could barely keep her eyes open during the day. It started interfering with her work, and you know how that would have killed her; we started to go see a bunch of people for it but nothing seemed to help. And then she started sleepwalking—”

Something cold crawls up Ichigo’s spine.

“She— at first, we didn't know where it was that she was going in her sleep. she wandered the Kuchiki Manor gardens a lot, sometimes she just paced around inside the house. Sometimes she got out of the Kuchiki property and was well into the streets before we found her and brought her back. I didn't know where she was trying to go—” 

Renji breaks off, and looks Ichigo dead in the eye. 

“— till one morning I woke up, and found her at Sokyouku Hill.” 

Ichigo’s blood turns to ice. 

“It was bloody Sokyoku Hill, Ichigo. Every single time— inside the Manor, in the gardens, on the streets. She was always trying to get to Sokyouku Hill. North-north west from the Kuchiki Manor. I—”

Renji’s expression turns supplicating, as if asking him for an answer, but Ichigo has none to give; he’s rooted to the spot by the sheer horror he’s feeling, Rukia strung up against the Sokyouku vivid in his mind. That collar around her neck, a red slash splitting her throat open; her eyes, glazed over with tears. Her skin dyed orange and yellow from the heat of it all. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her, Ichigo, for fuck’s sake I can’t even get her to admit that there’s something wrong. I just—” 

Renji drops his head into his hands. Very softly — so soft that Ichigo is sure he isn’t meant to hear these next words— he says to himself: 

“Ten years. Ten years, and I’m still not enough.” 

Ten years. Enough to fell mountains; enough to dry rivers and move oceans. 

Not enough to change a heart. 

When Renji looks up at Ichigo again, his gaze is edged with steel. 

“She says your name.” 

“I— what?” 

“She says your name, when she walks out to Sokyouku Hill. She says your name.” 

A memory, in his mind: Rukia, ethereal in the moonlight. Ichigo? 

Yeah. Yeah, it’s me. I’m here. 

Ichigo doesn’t know what to say. 

Eventually, Renji breaks their impasse; he sighs and raps the table before getting up. “I’m not such a small man as to beat you to a pulp over that, Ichigo, stop looking like you think I’m going to bite your head off.” 

“I’m not—” he protests automatically, but Renji shushes him with a wave of his hand. 

“You are, but that’s not the point.” He ambles over to the door and looks over his shoulder at him, one hand poised on the handle. “If— if there’s anything you might be able to do for her—” 

“Renji—”

“Please,” Renji says, and even though this time, he isn’t on his knees half-dead before him, Ichigo knows what it’s costing him to make this request. “Please… help her.” 

Of course, Ichigo wants to reply, She’ll be fine, I’ll save her. Rukia’ll be safe—

But he isn’t fifteen anymore. 

“I’ll— try,” he says, lamely, and that is the best they can do. Renji nods. 

“Gonna go see Urahara. He might have some tricks up his sleeve,” he says, but he doesn’t look like he believes what he’s saying. Ichigo waves him off, and Renji slips away.

The sound of the clinic door swinging shut echoes in his wake. 

.

.

.

3:02 pm

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Click.

“...Hello?”

“Kurosaki-san?”

“...... Urahara-san?”

“Ah, Kurosaki-san, thank goodness you picked up. If you aren’t busy, I’d appreciate your presence at the Shoten as soon as possible.” 

“What? Me? Why?”

A pause; Ichigo finds, for no good reason whatsoever, that he is holding his breath.

“Ah, well. You see, that is—”

Between one accelerating heartbeat and the next—

“Kuchiki-san has collapsed.” 

[beesmygod]

netflix’s new horror movie “bird box” sucks ass and not in a funny, enjoyable way: a review

first im going to preface this review with this: im sick. i caught a cold on the way home from reno and spent the day recovering watching this garbage instead of doing anything that required a working brain. i knew i wasn’t going to get anything mind-blowing but “bird box” teeters heavily on “insultingly bad” instead of just “bad” and it kept me mad about having wasted two hours of my life for a solid 24 hours straight.

so if this review doesn’t make sense, its partly because im sick, and partly bc this movie doesn’t make sense. this review is also impossible to structure because i dont even know where to begin. maybe here: the directing is derivative, boring and bad. its like watching paint dry. the whole movie looks like your grandma’s house smells.

to re-iterate: this movie is 2 hours long. i’ll save you 2 hours by telling you that you never see the monster, ever. sandra bullock admitted to laughing out loud repeatedly on set at the monster when it was revealed to her which lead to it being cut from the movie. if we had seen the monster, maybe the movie would have been bumped up from a d- to a c+ just because the mental image of a long green baby with john malkovich’s voice is pretty funny.

the bird box, probably

for a movie about a monster, this movie has a serious monster problem. in that the monster is not a problem. the monster (which is never given a name in the movie) can’t seem to actually do anything to you if you don’t look at it. its only power seems to be making you kill yourself when you see it (unless you’re crazy which, thats a whole other kettle of fish. give me a minute). so if you don’t look at it you’re fine? there’s several points in the movie where the monster is physically close to them but doesn’t actually do anything except beg them to take off their blindfolds and look at them. its almost pathetic. as far as i can tell, the monster’s only powers are to make leaves fly upward for no reason (i.e. to indicate its in the area without the camera having to focus on anything specific) and yell at you. but, like, as long as you don’t take off your blindfold (and somehow, people do in this movie) then you’re probably fine.

now, if you’re “crazy” (I KNOW YOU’RE ALREADY ASKING QUESTIONS HOLD ON) then looking at the monster turns you into a stereotypical evangelist for an eldritch horror. you run around saying “crazy” things that read like enemy npc chatter in ps2 era survival horror game. for example:

then, you spend all your time trying to get people to look at it by holding their eyes open. “bird box” does not bother to explain what “crazy” means in this context. according the the story, roving gangs of tokyo-drifting escaped asylum patients rule the post-apocalyptic landscape of the pacific northwest. its impossible to tackle how many layers of like morally wrong it is to yet again shove the mentally ill into the role of antagonists  (im getting exhausted just thinking about piling up all the reasons this is so fucking bad) to the point of making them a fucking enemy class. its almost more succinct just to point out that “bird box” thinks mental illness is an on/off switch you toggle rather than a spectrum. i know this movie is a relic of the past (dec 2018) but i feel like this is such a basic fact about the world as we know it today that the decision to ignore it makes me wonder if the writer was operating under the assumption that horror monster “rules” need to be clearly defined as though they were conceived for use in a videogame.

if_crazy=“yes”,  then bird=box 

speaking of the titular “bird box”: the movie is called that because they literally keep birds. in a box. the birds tell you when the monster is coming, so you can put on your blindfold. but heres the thing: the monster makes GGGGRRRRRROOORRORORO sounds nonstop when its running around in the area. you know when it’s coming. you can hear it coming from a mile away. so there’s really no point in having, a bird box. at one point the monster is so loud they can’t hear the birds over its roaring. whats the point of the birds? as it turns out, the birdbox, is useless. much lIKE THIS MOVI

this movie is a never ending cascade of cliches and stolen plot points, characters, ideas. it steals from “the happening” (blatantly, its the same movie right down to the ugly color scheme of every frame), “dawn of the dead”, “pontypool”, “the mist” and pretty much every post-apocalyptic monster movie ever. bd wong is confirmed as a gay man literally 2 minutes before he dies on screen. the black comedic lead dies next. a pregnant woman is introduced and you’ll NEVER guess what happens to her. you could set your watch to this movie. its pathetic. 

welp, he’s dead

i’m going to link this guy’s deconstruction of the weird incestual overtones that are also impossible to miss and interpret without wanting to die. 

im getting exhausted again. this movie is not fun bad. this post is to serve as a warning to the curious. in fact, im going to spoil the end for you, so you truly understand why i’m so fucking mad. i want you, right now, to imagine based on what i’ve told you what the most hackney, cliche, stupid, moronic ending twist could be to this movie about a monster you can’t look at. fully form it in you head. dare to imagine the dumbest thing you can.

ready?

YOU SEE

[survivormyanmar-blog]

Ep. #2 - “Yeah Sure, I’ll Vote With You, Strange Lady” - Brett

After voting off Caroline, Maranda returned to camp pretty upset; accusing the other tribemates of lying to her.  The second immunity challenge was announced and it was a somewhat confusing version of Rock Paper Scissors.  The Fans put a lot of thought into how to prepare for the challenge and submitted a strategically thought out list.  The favorites did random.org and ended up winning.  All of the favorites got to go to The Cave )except Christian chose not to) and Amanda ended up finding a challenge advantage that had to be used pre-merge.  At Tribal Council, it was a unanimous vote to take out Maranda as the other fans were worried about the possibility of her flipping at a tribe swap.

Best way to turn a voting bloc into an alliance is by 1) pulling off a blindside and 2) just saying the word alliance. When you say alliance and say I like you guys it’s hard to say no. The best way to keep it going is to make sure each and everyone of them is comfortable with me. I don’t know or care if they like each other but they need to not turn on me. Last thing I need to do is pass over leadership to someone like Brett or Adrian. I can’t be the voice of the alliance because that’s who they soon turn on.

IM BAAAAAAAAAAAACK YAAAAAAAY https://secure.static.tumblr.com/d70e452b5eb08e05fcd0fda9b654cbb9/zt9ruhl/yotoad3b7/tumblr_static_tumblr_static__640.jpg I’m doing this again, I hope i dont hate myself and regret it later. So lets get started with the confessional shit woo! So me and Steffen started talking immediately cause we’re friends we’re good but ive played with him before and im not stupid ive seen him play so i know i gotta watch. https://media.giphy.com/media/VTksCTQMHrody/giphy.gif Not miss me already having an alliance forming. I’m trash. Lmfaoooo So during Maldives me and Gaston would talk so much on our original tribe but we never solidified anything and literally right when we both were gonna try to work together we got swapped to opposite tribes and then I got voted out right before merge so we never got to align and i remember the night after the season ended i was talking to the hosts and telling them about how much i wanted to work with him and how if i got to merge i was gonna trying and work with him and they were like flipping out because they said if the two of us worked together it would have changed to game completely and that gives me confidence that us working together is a good idea. SO THAT BEING SAID, Gaston and I talked a bunch today and he wants us and Richie to make a Maldives alliance. I’m down tbh, people are probably gonna assume it’s a thing since there’s 3 of us so we might as well make the most of it. So stayed tuned for a chat of that coming soon! https://media.giphy.com/media/cbVCKn5SwfwwU/giphy.gif AT THE SAME TIME THOUGH I KNOW HOW SMART THEY BOTH ARE SO I HAVE TO WATCH THEM TOO https://67.media.tumblr.com/401449fbc05ae1dd4335d410ff964f4b/tumblr_mzcqkp8SDh1s8n9o2o1_500.gif ALSO MY FAVE BITCH LEAH IS ON THE OTHER TRIBE. BLESS OWEN AND TREVORS HEARTS FOR THINKING IT’D BE SMART TO PUT US IN THE SAME GAME HAHAHAHA I’m so proud of her for surviving her first tribal!!! She’s literally one of my favorite people in the world and I’d be so excited to get to a tribe swap or merge with her. If we get there together you better be ready for some good tv! http://67.media.tumblr.com/623e0414a2f59564d202f4e5a6484d97/tumblr_n4pu1kDbnL1tv3r8go1_400.gif http://66.media.tumblr.com/fa304474a1b1383500e2308b0032a28f/tumblr_n4pu1kDbnL1tv3r8go3_r1_400.gif ANYWAYSSSS i’m gonna record a video talking about the cast this week so get excited. I’m really excited to be back so I hope this season goes better than the last one.

Mata at their tribal last night: https://media.giphy.com/media/10FXOtXjvWu0Ja/giphy.gif

Tribal went perfect as Caroline is gone like I wanted. Now I have to get Maranda back on my side. She’s not mad at me but 4 people who lied to her all day. She knew who I was leaning towards voting so I think we can work off that. If we win immunity that is. If we loose I think she can easily become next target.

Okay, so on the subject of alliances. It’s still super early in the game and I want to be significantly less Crackdt than I was in my last game, but I also want to make sure this ass is safe in case we lose this challenge. I think the biggest mistake I could make at this point would be waiting until we lose to make an alliance, since that alliance would almost 100% be based on scrambling and paranoia instead of actual relationships.  So, since  I’ve been talking game with Steffen and Tommy, both of whom I really genuinely like, I think I’m gonna try to play with them, making an alliance with Tommy (and ideally Ashley and Ting Ting for a solid four, who we both like but aren’t that threatening) and keep Steffen and Sam in the loop for votes. Lowkey, I wouldn’t mind if we lost, just so I could figure out where the lines are for future reference. Ugh.

So, after that rather interesting tribal, the voting block of Nehe, Krysten, Adrian, Brett and myself that orchestrated the Caroline vote off formed “The Official Five”. It’s honestly a stupid name for an alliance but at least it’s the majority alliance on our tribe. However, within that alliance, Brett and myself are a tight pair, and have been since the beginning. And no one knows that. We plan to keep it that way. We’re in a bit of a power position, unbeknownst to everyone else. If we play our cards right we could easily maneuver ourselves very far in this game.

Day 3 (or last night) I’m learning as the days pass who I think I can trust and how conditional that trust is. There’s so many different layers of trust. Do I trust you to work in tandem with me? Do I trust you to not go after me? Can I trust you to speak when you should and to shut up when you absolutely should. The alliance of Day 2’s challenge participants (ADRIAN, KEEGAN, KRYSTEN, NEHE, and me) is strong, but each member has their strengths and weaknesses. The same goes for the outer periphery that thinks they are fine even though I believe they are in the bottom half (CARLOS, LEAH, LINUS). And as for MARANDA? I understand that my goose is cooked when it comes to the prospect of potentially working with her. So within the core alliance, KEEGAN and KRYSTEN are the two I trust the most because they’ve done astoundingly well at keeping their mouths shut. My loyalty is the most firm with them. Very very slightly behind is ADRIAN–he has an incredible heart, but he absentmindedly slipped to CAROLINE that there was “another side” to the tribe forming against her. Not smart. Of course, CAROLINE starts spinning out and I have to calm her down for the better of the tribe. It might be to my own detriment because I’m sure CAROLINE And MARANDA feel the most betrayed by me as we just blindsided CAROLINE 8-2. MARANDA has already expressed her sadness at my betrayal. I attempted to sidestep by telling her I thought she was in on it to because of how obviously crazy, intense, and paranoid CAROLINE is and I definitely think she’s not buying it. Should we go to the next tribal council, I’m expecting a vote from her. When dealing with these same ladies, NEHE was approached and he doesn’t have the wherewithal to just lie to CAROLINE and say “yeah sure, I’ll vote with you, strange lady,” and that set off a number of red flags with CAROLINE and MARANDA. So I really just need both ADRIAN and NEHE to be careful with how they deal with people. I can trust both of them when it comes to my life in this game, but they both have loose lips. And speaking of loose lips, hi CARLOS! Oh my God. I really like CARLOS and I know CARLOS really likes me, but in what world is it okay to say at a public tribal council that I am the tribe leader?! I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw that. So I think our personalities jive, but I am not certain he’s playing our partnership (however loose it is) smartly. Now a target is on my back and I’m not excited about that. I don’t have much to say about LINUS other than that he’s sweet. LEAH concerns me. I would almost want to get LEAH out before MARANDA because she’s transparently playing really dumb when she obviously knows more than she lets on. It’s painfully obvious. She told me I’m the only person she’s talked to, really. I know that’s definitely not true. She’s active and she’s a host of a Big Brother game (they’re not all that different from Survivor). You have to talk to everyone and I’m sure she’s putting face time in with plenty of people. I’ve got my eye on her and I’m worried she has friends on the other side, too. I missed tribal council from doing a live show with former Survivor alumni Corinne and I was shocked that a challenge had already started while I was in the show! I wasn’t able to participate (so ironic given how my alliance formed), so hopefully no one gives me shit over it. I really hope we win this challenge so we can tie it up with the favorites and see one of them get eliminated. Until next time.

aye. we won again! and we all get to party it out in the cave! woot woot! gr9

After Immunity: Another loss…. fuck this. It’s beginning to feel like Ulong. And it’s just gonna elicit more negative feedback and negative emotions…… just great.

I am so happy that we won our second immunity in a row. Not having to go to tribal has really helped all of us settle in and start to connect with each other. I really like Jay, we totally connect and she gets me. Ting Ting is another person I like as well, she is super sweet and hilarious. I am in love with Tommy tbh. His snapchats keep me alive and we honestly just click…. So hopefully some alliances can come out of these connections soon and we can really start playing, just hope we don’t lose the next challenge.

Second immunity loss in a row. I’m trying to keep calm but our ship is starting to sink. The only bit of light in this situation is the Official Five alliance. We have the power to vote out whoever, so I’m not worried about going home at this tribal. We have a difficult decision to make. Do we get rid of Carlos, who doesn’t give off good vibes, or do we axe Maranda, who is feeling betrayed and alone after the Caroline vote? If there’s a tribe swap, voting off the wrong person could doom all us fans.

At this stage I’m only in my host chat and tribe chat. I’ve spoken to some people 1 on 1 but nothing really interesting has transpired. I’ve yet to have that moment where my interest is sparked and I begin to invest myself in the season. I’m trying not to be too worried about that though. In Maldives I had no social/strategic game until I hit the merge and then the dynamic was interesting enough that I started to play. I just have to hope we keep winning because I think I could easily be a first boot on our tribe for my lack of socialising. I forced myself to start a tribe call. I am not having a good time.

Well, round 2 happened and yet again my team did the whole challenge before I even got on which leads me to question why they think a 24 hour challenge has to be done asap. On that note I’m actually lowkey hating my tribe. The majority of them have made it abundantly clear that Im very low on the totem poll, and even those I’ve tried to basically say “LOOK, TELL ME HOW TO VOTE IM AN EXTRA VOTE FOR YOU” aren’t responding very positively (Obviously I say it with more tact then that :P ). I’ve never been one to flip, team togetherness has always been my number 1 most important thing in survivor. Maybe its because in the past 2 games Ive been in I’ve given everything for my alliance just for them to take me out, but Im almost wanted to just jump on my tribe the second I get the chance. It’s not in me to be a liar, and I do still firmly believe that although deception can get you short term power, whilst honesty can get you far, but maybe this time I have to just be careful with who I give that honesty to. Right now the vote sounds like it’s on Miranda, so yay I guess. I heard Carlos’s name was also discussed so woohoo, I guess that can maybe buy me two rounds.  I just don’t get it, you can tell these people are new because they aren’t thinking ahead though. I have it on good authority that it is indeed Miranda, so like, why not pretend to include me and make me feel safe to use as a number later. This is one of the most amateur mistakes in the world and I honestly don’t like it much at all. As for alliances, Adrian/Drew is the the person feeding me all the info right now. We know each other from the facebook community, and even are co hosting a game there so I guess we bonded off that (Even though I know in games in the past we’ve been against each other so it’s surprising me that he was wanting to work with me so much xD). Right now he’s the one person I would use an idol for if I had one, and he is kind of my savoir in the game. If I am to think about flipping I will definitely talk the idea through with him first. I’ve also been trying my damndest to get in with Brett, and man, he knows what he’s doing. Brett is great at the game, and he is the one other person not acting like Im totally on the outs, even though Im well aware that he knows Im not in a power position. I’m really trying to push to him that I want to work with him because if the way he comes off to me is the same for other people, I have a feeling he could be the unofficial leader of the majority. So right now my main strat is the Brett ass kiss maneuver xD.

First confessional of the season and I have to say….I. Don’t. Connect. With. Any. Of. These. People. I love Ashley to death so obviously I know I always have her to talk to, and she felt the same way when the first tribe call happened a few days ago. I went on. Awkward silence. No one was talking. And then I left. Why are you guys so boring. I’m not used to that on calls. But then I’m friends with steffen, and I really like jay a lot. But everyone else so far…..GTG real fast. I’m busy with another game that’s taking up my time right now, so I try to be as active as possible on my tribe. The first immunity challenge I was M.I.A. So that’s why I was so active and gave my input in the second immunity in case we lost and had to go to tribal. I talk more one on one with a few people, which I think helps me out for now. I suck in challenges so I have to rely on my social game. I don’t really have any strategies in mind right now. I’m just going to lay low, and once merge happens or the first tribe swap I’ll start playing more. At least I wasn’t first boot. So that’s one thing crossed off my list. I think our tribe is really good comp wise, even though second immunity was more luck based in a way. I think I just miss all my best friends in the big brother community!!! :( I’m so lonely. I wish Julia had been casted, because I at least would have had her. Oh well. I’ll be fine.

okay this game is so crackedt. I WANNA PLAY like people are still sending my pleasantries. PLAY WITH ME. like i don’t wanna wait until we lose to have to play survivor. That’s not how you play survivor. This lack of game talk can only make me think that others are constantly plotting against me–but I actually don’t think that’s the case. Jay and I were talking and she goes “oooh what if it’s a sudden double tribal” like I would actually shit a brick.

ok so i got a flashlight from the cave so now I can tell ghost stories around the fire at camp

So, I went to the cave. It was dark as fuck and I’m tired from all that climbing, but at least I got a little tea. No idol or advantage or anything, but at least some knowledge and some bonding. Tommy and I are gonna search together (not sure yet how honest I’ll be with him about my searching) and I know for a fact that at least two people on the tribe have gotten something from the cave because a) Sam told me he has a ~flashlight, which may come in handy later~ and b) the spot I went to looked like something had once be there, but nothing was there now. So now I’m nervous, obviously. Sam is a huge long-term threat and knowing he has an advantage makes me very nervous. And if Richie or Gaston got an idol or advantage, it’s definitely dangerous as my alliance is eyeing them for first boot on our tribe. Trevor says we should stay up late tonight after tribal, so I’m just praying it’s something unexpected and not the tribe swap we’re all starting to anticipate.

The as yet unnamed Ting Ting-Ashley-Tommy-Jay alliance is a go. I’m so hype.

So “operation be Brett’s bitch until a better oppertunity arrives” was a success I think. I asked him about working together and he agreed and even wanted to pull more people in, so hey, if that does work maybe I’m not as in the outs as I thought I was! Right now the people we are discussing to bring in are Keegan (who may claim to be a guy, but has a girls name and Mari is his profile pic, so I got my eye on him/her >:( ), Drew and Kristen because she and Brett who both love running. Don’t ask me how a common interest in moving your legs at fast speeds constitutes a grounds for working together, but if it gets us 5 then I ain’t complaining and I’ll just let those jocks do jock things.

Did you know that studies show people who enjoy long showers and baths tend to be the loneliest? So next time your in the shower for more then 10 minutes keep in mind that it’s probably because the waters heat is a subconscious replacement for human contact!

We’re safe again we’re safe again WOO WOO WOOOOO hahaha so we won immunity again. We literally random.org-ed the list and then i said to swap me and Christian and we sent it and we won so that was super cute. http://68.media.tumblr.com/6351a345904ecad9853f857eb9c0f52e/tumblr_ohjo3qEWMB1vaedr6o1_400.gif I should probably talk about the cave huh? Well i’ve been there twice now. The first time I found a flashlight but i have NO IDEA what it does yet hopefully it will be helpful later. Maybe it’ll help me search for an idol in the cave or something? who knows. Then I just went back a second time and I found an advantage for a challenge pre-merge YAAAAS i’m so happy it can come in handy so so much. http://68.media.tumblr.com/04808dd803fb9f6e43b1d6e5ac91780d/tumblr_oag5pixF561vaedr6o1_400.gif I don’t wanna get comfortable because thats when shit hits the fan but I really hope we keep up this immunity winning streak. I don’t wanna go to tribal any time soon.

OMG so much has happened recently! I think I’m in an alright position for the time being. I’m part of a 4 person alliance called “The Golden Girls” formed of Myself, Jay, Ashley, and Ting Ting. I feel as if Jay is running the show because she’s the one who is being really lowkey about everything, making shifts in the sand and has all this previous tea on everyone because she knows so many people. (That’s part of my problem, because I haven’t played since 2 years ago so I barely have any previous tea on anyone!) So I definitely think she’s playing the “mastermind” role, I’m gonna keep letting her do that. Eventually it’s going to come out that she’s a snake and it’ll be her time to go if she keeps playing this way. My plans are to continue building good social relationships with everyone on the tribe and just chill out a bit. This way later down the road I will have more options as to what I want to do in the game and maybe not have as much of a target as all these people who are coming across really intimidating. NOT THAT I DON’T LIKE THEM, BECAUSE I LIKE THEM IT’S JUST THEY ARE PLAYING REAL HARD. I mean playing hard is good but I don’t know if playing hard right now when it’s only Final 19 about to be Final 18 is such a good idea. Also Ting Ting is my #1 ally as of right now just because I feel she isn’t as intense as everyone else but she still wants to play the game, like me. I feel that we are probably the most trusting to each other which will benefit us both when it comes to staying in the game and getting information. Lastly, I think there’s gonna be a tribe swap tonight and I don’t know if this is good or bad for my game, but it’s almost the same as starting over. If there is a swap, I hope I don’t get screwed over. Cheers to Final 18.  

This round has been fairly easy.  We formed an alliance, The Official Five, and all worked really well together in the challenge.  We lost, but have decided as a group our next vote.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXMVh_McwU0