#ig the show never going that way was for the greater good

[thealfalfamale]

shenny creechurs

[eemcintyre]

I know this is a bit of a controversial theory and I understand why some people don't like it, but I'd honestly be okay with it if the endgame of Terry Silver's character is that he's dying.

As much as anyone who knows me knows I adore him, I love a lot of the other characters too and I don't want to see a series where the bad guys win. Plus, that would never be allowed to happen in a thousand years, what kind of parting message would that be, and if Terry doesn't win but remains alive, what other possible outcome is there for him?

No way he'd just go back to the vapid life by the beach where we were initially reintroduced to him, and I doubt he'd go to prison, or at least stay there for any significant amount of time, bc as many have accurately said, rich people don't go to prison, silly!! But Terry is so determined and proud and plain feral at this point and he has so much at stake even if he's not dying; man's not just going to go peacefully into the sunset or, God forbid, surrender or turn good- I genuinely think that the only thing to stop him at this point that would be remotely realistic and fitting would be death.

And really, it would be so incredibly and beautifully tragic and befitting the messages of the show (whatever is left of those at this point; just think of the first couple seasons ig) if, after a life of doing whatever needs to be done to get to the top and maintain control over everything and everyone, despite having what seems to be all the power and money in the world, if you wield it with evil intentions, you ultimately end up with nothing that really matters. One of the main themes of the show used to be that violence just begets more violence; it's an ouroboros that just ends up eating itself; it is self-destructive.

Terry seems to want legacy more than anything else; deep down, I think he fears being insignificant/forgotten and losing control more than anything. However, he's gone about it all wrong, to put it mildly, and all it seems he will leave behind that will last is pain and fear- which, if that's what he wants, then there you go, but somehow I don't think it is. I believe he really wants people to, sure, have enough concern to make them think twice about crossing him, but to marvel at his great, lasting accomplishments and also admire, and perhaps even love him. But in his quest for absolute control and with his belief that he's above pretty much everyone, plus, oh idk perhaps the malice and violence, that will not be a thing that happens. Anyway, that's a bit of a separate conversation.

Back to what I was saying about what he fears more than anything; perhaps these are the only things he fears- being insignificant/forgotten and losing control. As for the latter, it would be such poetic tragedy if, after a life of trying to be and probably believing that he is so much greater and better than everyone else, and seeking constant control, he is ultimately met with the one thing he can't control and which equalizes him to everyone else. Terry is convinced that nothing but a grand death on the battlefield becomes him, yet he ends up comparatively quietly passing away on a hospital bed like most everyone else.

Listen, I know it would be so profoundly tragic and I get sad just thinking about it, but I sincerely believe it would be the most interesting, realistic and meaningful ending, and I would be satisfied with it.

[legally-allowed-to-slime]

i disagree on the "it was a good kill and Gem is bothered by it/pretends she's not" bc it really wasn't,,, and Gem can be right in calling it pathetic and also not expecting it/knowing how to escape and also be not that bothered by it bc she does try to like, let (red life) people kill her the entire session, she's 'not a sweat' as she calls it

Mumbo literally lost a life bc he was going after Gem in the car (he pours lava where she was specifically), then tried to lava her twice, Grain had to tell him to keep going after her with a sword (also Skizz tries to lava her before that too lmao) and she still escaped it to the point Mumbo logs out bc hes embarrassed (in a light hearted way ofc) just to log back in, join in on Martyn helping them (Gem does just accept him digging a hole under her, doesn't move at all, she only tries to escape the lava) just for Ren to steal the kill like the little yellow life shit he is and then Mumbo tries to lava her again lmao. it is pathetic, let's not kid ourselves here, Looney Tunes type crap, especially with the speed. It's a good kill on Ren side ig??? idk

like. idk, people try too hard to make it seem like she's bothered or not, maybe the answer is simply that she accepts dying, but she also wanted the killer to actually try to get her (like Grian does, he clearly hates the cheap kills,,, unless it comes from his teammates lmao)

feel like ppl try too hard to make her look like Scott (and I don't think even Scott is that bothered, he just switches to survival mode for once lol), when both her and Joel are fine with ppl trying to murder them and succeeding, they show it multiple times this session

i don't think this makes her "untouchable" or boring either, bc I don't think any life series member takes death as seriously as fanon makes it seem sometimes (might be the dsmp brain wiring lmao, but to me it does matter how a person reacts to their death and what they do afterwards, and she goes back there and just. Tries to congratulate Mumbo until she realizes Ren did it. She doesn't hide, doesn't get annoyed or anything, so I don't see why would I take it as her lying to herself or the viewers. Taking her at face value is smarter here, bc she doesn't hide her feelings, she's open about being annoyed at Pearl/Imp, she's open about disliking ppl and how she feels about stuff). they know they're in a death game, know what to expect so it's whatever as long as theyre still green and have lives to waste

i know it's all in good fun and role-play, but I just wanted to give my opinion from somebody who's not that into this side of the fandom (this is also messy as fuck and i probably repeated myself a bunch but im too lazy to fix this, whateeverr)

i’d like to preface this with a disclaimer: gem is one of my favourites. i would never speak so derogatorily about a character if i did not obsessively watch all their povs and consume so much fanfic about them that i’m sick. put simply, c!gem is morally grey, and i’m entirely comfortable with it. moving on

i feel like we need to face the fact that every lifer is an unreliable narrator. yes, some to a greater extent than others, like how dl!pearl or sl!lizzie are clearly unreliable. but all of them, bar none, say and go through things that affect their worldview. an unfortunate phenomenon known popularly as “the human experience”. especially in the life series, when the ccs are deliberately roleplaying, it would be naive to take any of them at face value, especially when evidence says otherwise.

so yes, gem is definitely bothered. she talks about how she’s a target, even puts a target on her skin, and keeps on talking about how incompetent everyone is (even when they’re not trying to kill her). i don’t think this is unreasonable of her at all, i’m just pointing out an incongruence in her words and her behaviour. again, there’s nothing wrong with being bothered, but what’s really interesting is that she constantly says things like “oh, finally!” or “that was so bad” or just laughs. to me, i interpret it as her purposely trying to keep up the image that she isn’t bothered, that she is confident or that wow, look, the other players are so bad she’s getting frustrated that she can’t die. a “regular” lifer would probably just exclaim oh no if there was a failed attempt on their lives, but gem is much more deliberate with her words. i’m not calling her calculating, but maybe i am.

(i have noted before that gem is impressively good at faking real emotion, so that definitely plays a factor in my interpretation. it’s very easy to dismiss it as genuine exasperation, but based off her other words you can slightly discern that it’s a facade. obviously gem is gunning for a win this season, and if she’s gunning for a win, why would she try or want to die?)

as for the kill. directly before this, yes, it was a cartoon chase scene, but gem was in full survival mode and was darting around, constantly eating. it would be foolish to pretend that she wasn’t trying to stay alive.

you argue that she allowed martyn to dig the hole under her. i went back to check, and due to the sped up game, it took martyn a little over 2 seconds to dig the 2x2x3 hole. 2 things can be true: gem is good at the game, and the hole caught gem off guard. furthermore, gem was looking at grian and not at martyn when the hole was dug. so she’s in the hole, and she has less than one second to react before the lava is placed. gem pulls out her water bucket very quickly, and places it down the same second. too late. she’s caught by the lava, she yells, she takes out her shovel to dig, she digs one block and then dies. so how long does the kill take?

eight seconds. from the first block being broken to gem dying to the lava, it takes eight seconds. that is the opposite of pathetic. that is a well-executed kill and even with gem’s condescending “good job!” it doesn’t take away from the fact that it was well done. note that gem reacted very quickly, so it wasn’t gem “allowing” herself to be killed. she tried pretty hard to not die, but the lava was just faster. in no way did she accept dying when even in her own video it’s clear that she fought to the end.

gem is definitely not fine with people murdering her. the other attempts, yes they were bad, but gem also tries to dodge them. i feel like she legitimately forgot about tango’s trap and stood on it by accident, but changed her story when tango failed anyway, because she doesn’t even say anything to tango (like a cheeky “tango i’m standing here”) prior to the actual attempt. i wouldn’t go so far as to call her a sweat, but to go to the other extreme that she allowed people to kill her is also straight up inaccurate, even if gem acts like she did.

so, we’ve established that it’s a good kill. how does gem react? she tells the audience “oh it’s pathetic”, goes up to mumbo and tells him “mumbo i’m so proud of you”. that is textbook condescending. she’s trying to act amused, as if mumbo’s a toddler that’s just done a cool trick. (never mind that it was ren, it’s the intention behind her words) if she got outwardly annoyed, that would make it obvious that she was actually threatened by the kill, or that she was actually bothered. this faux nonchalance is what i’m trying to point out here. i don’t think she’s inwardly annoyed either. i just think she’s lying to herself.

as for that last bit, i don’t think i ever said this made gem boring. to me this makes her incredibly interesting and an incredibly complex character to dissect. i’m saying those who just believe whatever she says and believe that whatever she says is what she actually believes are making out her character to be more boring than it is.

[cartoonrival]

3 15 16 22 smirks

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

ok if im being honest im STILL thinking about ytp/exploding hotdogs inthe micrwave-amy. NO SHE WOULD FUCKING NOTTTTT you guys just think that any girl liking traditionally feminine things automatically = no personality so the only way you can wrap your head around "fixing her" is making her less "girly". im still going to war over what ppl are doing to amy. literally no one on the planet understands amy like i do and shes not even one of my faves. i dont even enjoy understanding her like she's my own daughter i do it like its an obligation like im legally required. i also recently learned that "does naruto having blonde hair and blue eyes mean he's white-coded" is legitimate discourse and i fr think you all need serious help

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

ok this is my biggest hater opinion and i KNOWWWW its like unnecessarily pissy so i havent said antyhing abt it until now but i think you might understand me. I DONT LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE GIVE SHADOW SOME LITTLE THING TO TAKE CARE OF. I DONT LIKE HIS CHAO AND I DONT LIKE [expunged for my and others' safety] AND I DONT LIKE WHEN PEOPLE JUST GIVE HIM CATS. HE CANT TAKE CARE OF LITTLE CREATURES HE DOESNT CARE TO DO THAT HE DOESNT WANT TO HE JUST DOES NOT HAVE THE CARETAKERS SOUL LIKE HES NOT DOING THAT. HES NOT DOING THAT. BUT PPL DRAW IT ALLLLL THE TIMEE.......... IS THERE NO OTHER WAY WE CAN SHOW HIS SOFT SIDE THEN GIVING HIM SOME LITTLE CREATURE. HES NOT DOING THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!! its so stupid bc its not even like ooc NECESSARILY i mean his chao exists in at least some canons and theres nothing really saying it COULDNT happen and its such a harmless thing to be a hater about BUT I HATE ITTTTTT also when ppl make the hedgehogs wag their tails BE SO SERIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

literally every ship with amy. i think you guys just are desperate to ship her w someone. AROACE AMY SWEEP. ASK ME ABOUT MY AROACE AMY AGENDA!!! also i know youve talked about this 1 million times but i cannot fucking stand how the greater fandom talks about scourge bc none of them even KNOW HIM AT ALL and miss literally EVERYTHING that makes his character interesting and fun bc you didnt even READ ARCHIE you just decided to take this one dude out and sand him of everything of note so you can make him a sad little meow meow ToT SONIC HAS PLENTY OF SAD LITTLE MEOW MEOWS CANT A GUY JTSU SUCK??? CANT HE JUST BE A TERRIBLE LOSER? COME ONNNNNNN but ofc you wouldnt understand bc you didnt even READ ARCHIEEEEEE.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

JULIE SU. JULIE SU. JULIE SU ALWAYS. theres literally so much that could be said and expanded upon w her family and background and not even in the way that canon didnt give her anything at all and you gotta diy everything, shes SUCH A FUN CHARACTER shes so funny and such a jerk and everyone writes her off as "girl knuckles" so fast that they wont even LOOK at how much unique personality she has and how UNIQUE her relationship w knuckles is LIKE.... ken penders actually gave js a fun and unique and dope personality, the FANS are the ones writing her off as girl knuckles. ummmmm its not looking good for you people! and theres the assumption ig that all the romances in archie just suck bc theres sort of a lot of them, obviously i dont like every one COUGHken and sallyCOUGH but like ToT KNUXSU IS SO SO SO GOOD.... THE WAY THEY TALK TO EACH OTHER IS SO GOOD like you guys wipe every characters personality to put them in a ship, then talk about knuxsu as if thats the issue with it and why you dont like it, but. ITS NOT EVEN LIKE THAT. AND IF IT WAS SHOULDNT YOU LIKE THAT SORT OF SLOPim sounding like lorillee rn. QPR KNUXSU AGENDA WILL NEVER DIE

and in the same vein as js, lien da also. ppl just in passing say that either shes hot or shes ugly and no one talks about that creepy as fuck issue where eggman surgically put her back together. that issue was so fucking dope. shes so awesome. i love you lien da you are terrible and i love you.

obviously literally just all of archie. nobody talks about archie. i fucking love archie but everyones too scared. i wish i could make that au

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I find myself questioning why I'm still bothered and how I let it get to me the lack of nuance in fandom discourse. Especially with K-Pop and everything I've witnessed in the last 3 years. The bigger the fandom, the less chances for it to be cohesive and attract a specific demographic able to participate in a certain high level of discourse.

I remember a few years back I was lurking in the Black Sails community here on tumblr. I was usually someone who would read the weekly reviews to tv episodes and that would be enough. In the case of that series, it didn't feel enough because to me, the reviewers were missing or ignoring the complexity of that show. And to my surprise (although it shouldn't), the fandom on tumblr was one of the best I had the chance to observe. There was dedication, yes, but more than that, smart people were writing these amazing essays and analysis worth of getting published in established journals. Well beyond a simple review. They were media literate, which is something that gets lost more and more as time passes.

Of course I don't expect that same thing in a fandom like Army. They can barely be compared. Army is way, way larger. It covers a wide demographic which is good and bad simultaneously. Theoretically, there's a place for everyone, regardless of their identity/background. So in cases like that, people tend to choose their own corner, subsection depending on where they fit and their interest. Perhaps a teenager is more likely to spend time on tiktok making edits and looking at clips, without following each and every type of content out there. Because they don't have to. Fans using weverse are also their own category that exhibit a specific type of mentality. Twitter and tumblr are places that offer the platform for a more discussion-type of engagement, with twitter taking the first place.

So, we find our community and that's supposed to allow fans to live in harmony. I know, funny. It's never like that because we like to peak and invite ourselves in other spaces. And the places can easily become echo chambers. But what is interesting to note is observing what the fandom deems as an echo chamber. A solo stan account or a shipper is an echo chamber, but an account focused on the group as a whole and only their achievements and updates is not. It doesn't matter that the user feigns ignorance when confronted with weird hashtags trending because they had no idea. They curate their experience. It's perfectly valid, but the danger of creating/becoming part of echo chambers happens to all of us, regardless of our type of engagement. The longer we sit comfortably in our corner, talking to people who are of the same opinion as ours, the greater the risk.

Nevertheless, there is still this need of showing one's superiority based on the type of subsection of the fandom we are part of. Which automatically fails because it shows our ignorance and getting to what I wanted to talk about, the incapability of engaging in a nuanced discussion. Of course this is not something that we should expect from everyone. Like I said, we need to know our "audience". I won't go to the weverse/IG pages wanting to talk about Asian fetishization in kpop fandoms. It would be pointless. But we do touch on those types of topics on twitter and tumblr. Which is why I don't find it completely absurd to have expectations.

Shipping within the fandom has once again been under fire today, more than usual. And it showed, as each and every time, that there is simply no bridge, no way of finding a common language, of willingness to have that nuanced conversation without resorting to generalized statements. The result of that usually creates more harm, divides the communities even more and sweeps under the rug the normalization of a specific type of shippers who transform mentions of sexual assault into a weapon to attack and offend. As serious as this is for people who are not online 24/7 in fandoms, it has indeed become the norm for those who are part of it. So then why we ignore it? Why do we generalize it instead of addressing the exact person or community who does it regularly? Because it's the crazy part of the fandom and those who are not part of it consider themselves to be better than others. Feeling superior is the ultimate goal. In a fandom of millions, we all try to differentiate ourselves in one way or another. And that leads to our fandom identity and automatically our position towards issues within the larger community. Being for or against, wanting to engage or not, is sending a message. It's always more about us than the people or content we talk about.

I know I haven't touched on 1% of what this topic should cover, but these are just some thoughts. We can't all be the smartest and better than everyone else when we are completely fixated in some beliefs that come to exist based on how much we want to use our intelectual abilities or simply refuse to.

[autumn-foxfire]

(Continue.)

The second thing haunting me is when I wonder if "Touya" is spilling into present-day Dabi. That's the other thing I tried so hard to reject. He can work on being Touya again when he's saved, but for it to have been Dabi all this time, where's the villain? Was every single instance of the League of Villain's justified and kind, even if just to themselves? Were the heroes wrong at every step? Really sucks when empathy for one character clashes with your feelings of the story and other characters. If Dabi could just divert from this path, for him to…not be kind or empathetic, that could give me peace because he won't be fully me I can accept our similar origin, I cannot accept a complete manifestation of a dark future that hasn't happened because I don't wish for it to, to exist in him. Stop taking all my personality traits! I need you to be a true villain! I don't want to feel for you, I can't think of you as good, I cannot accept you as being a friend to others or understanding-

Whether he's saved by Endeavor and gets his closure or ends up dying, I'm gonna be seriously going through it…it's like Dabi's character through the manga and the fandom's reaction to him is growing up with me over the years because whoo, unwanted Dabi Feelings: Electric Boogaloo, why am I here again. I just managed to not be squicked out by jokes of Rei dragging Touya by the ear, but maybe they should do that instead because Rei is just different enough that it'll be less mentally distressing than seeing Endeavor's feelings towards his first-born…I could spin that into making Touya more neutral towards Rei because sure he can like her on some days, not like her on others, I dislike it when he cares as much as Shouto, and closing your heart after hurt is easier than watching it waver from softness which I just KNOW Endeavor is gonna do.

Sigh.

Sure complex characters end up leading to more complex feelings about the media you're reading, but ig it makes it well-written? Sometimes you have to throw your hands up and say "I can't call this a hero vs villain story anymore, Hori is just writing a manga about the consequences of every single type of abuse out there and he hid all this inside a falsely advertised cutesy superhero highschool story" nobody is bad! They're all hurting, and the years, the decades, of it is spilling out in this one generation, in this one moment, all in this one final war.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

If a character is all bad with no qualities that can redeem them, they end up being characters that the audience can't get behind. AFO is an example of this, Hori hasn't shown us a sympathetic past for him when he could (quirk discrimination for emerging quirks for example) or even with his attachment to his brother being something deeper but he hasn't (though that has yet to be determined too as he is still at this point writing his story).

If you want to redeem your villains, it has a greater impact when the audience can connect to them. It's why the backstories of the LOVs make the fandom divided. They're doing horrible things but they do have their reasons. They're selfish reasons and the harm they cause others is terrible but as a human we can still understand how they reached that point and that's the point.

Especially if the character acts as a mirror and shows you all these hidden parts and feelings of yourself. The most amazing thing with fiction is that is can show you the ugly side of yourself, the anger and the jealousy, the desire to hurt others (even if you'll never go through with it) like you've been hurt and it can strip you raw. It sounds like Dabi is that character for you.

It's understandable why you'd be uncomfortable with jokes like that in this regard because Dabi isn't just a character, he's a substitute for yourself in that moment, a way to express yourself in a healthy way.

I wouldn't say no one is bad though, as that is too dismissive of the harm that the villains have done at this point. Dabi and the villains, as sympathetic as they are have caused so much harm to the world around them as they lashed out. They've involved innocents into this war, men, woman, children, victims who suffered just as much as they have. This is the consequence of lashing out in such a toxic way, how it goes beyond a cry to help to a blade that cuts down anyone who could try to.

What's the point of crying out to crowd for help after all when you've just murdered them all?

[nerdyenby]

Orange time :D I’m watching Callum

Pregame

HBomb94 now wanted for murder, good for him ig

“That’s it, I’m taking matters into my own hands” terrifying, thanks Pete

Why is Callum talking about the availability of drugs in the United Kingdom???

I don’t even know how many people are in this call but all of them are bullying Callum lmao

“Habomba!!!” ���It wasn’t me” “It says it was you!” “It’s a lie” “oh, sorry” them <333

Tubbo showing up and causing chaos is just as funny the second time

Tubbo realizing it’s May is even funnier the second time, I’m losing it

“Tubbo’s gone now” he’s freaking dead

Scott is such a guy, he has the intimidation factor while still being irrevocably likable

“That was the most eventful pre-MCC I’ve ever had” fr, I loved it so much

Tubbo gave Callum his stream key 😭😭😭

“Gotta be honest, I need your friendship more than I need $5k” and everyone going ‘um actually…’ 😂

Sausage asking to be sand daddy just because he wants to be called “daddy” 😂😂😂

WHAT is Shane and Callum’s dynamic here /pos

Rocket Spleef

Sausage’s explanation of his understanding isn’t wrong but it just sounds so off lol

Them just slandering all the other Minecraft events is so real, I’m sure they’re great but they’ll never be MCC <333

Everything Kara says gives Callum a flashback lol

Callum popped off!!

The MCC meta of alcohol 😂😂😂

The way the “reafy” predicting who won the game was actualy accurate

The way I didn’t think of Sausage and Callum as being in the same sphere but they have nearly the same friend group

We love them appreciating the lore :))

TGTTOSAWAF

Callum throwing his chicken in the middle being the deciding vote lmao

“I got 7th, thanks Shane” so true

Callum did so good for having never seen the map before

Yo Sausage!!!!

Tgttosawaf worst game real, it’s still good but comparatively it’s the least enjoyable

Sausage improving every round my beloved <333

Kara plotting revenge, as she should

Shane top three every time??? He’s inshane!!

When you put on the suit (purpled skin) you take on a burden greater than yourself (getting targeted)

Kara and Sausage noooooo

Your vote matters, Shane, cmon

Parkour Warrior

Graphic appreciation is so based <333

Shane’s keyboard 😭😭😭

The Hannah Montana movie reference lol

Whatever the heck Shane and Callum’s dynamic is, it’s everything

I know I’ve heard Sausage’s normal voice before but it caught me so off guard there lmao

It’s disgusting how easy this is for Callum

Finally, someone talking about the bees

HES DISGUSTING!!! /pos

HES TOO GOOD AT THE GAME!!!!

Kara 😂

The points are a lil silly, we move

Grid runners is not skippable, how dare you

Parkour Tag

Callum chickening out 😂😂😂

Sausage is giving such good comms!!

Nevermind lol

It sure is… going!!

Gosh darn it, when you see a “biggest comeback” breakdown blame Shane and Callum

I will NOT stand for this gr slander

Grid Runners

It’s not pronounced “boy,” there’s a u there for a reason lol

They’re killing it!!!

Kara accidentally cheating is killing me 😂

Those prison comms!!!!

First in Uppies!!!

“We’re so smart and big brain and maybe handsome” “We’re so handsome” so true sausage :))

One of my favorite things coming out of this MCC is everyone counting on the builders to know how to use scaffolding and them just saying “no, it SUCKS”

Consistency pog

Ok yeah, I just do not understand grid scoring

Callum’s predictions only take Ls

Kara and Shane having banger opinions

Meltdown

Shane leaking the script, rip

They played that so well!!

Callum jumping right into the lava lol

Head pat exchange at Vidcon Paris fr

Blue just appearing behind them was terrifying

Kara popping off!!!

Shane’s Kermit impression my beloved

Stay with the team Callum 😭😭😭

Purpled popping off

Survival Games

They just be makin’ sounds, so based of them tbh

“Your choice, you know I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth” Callum and Shane sure are dudes, pals even

HOW did Callum make it out of that alive lmao

“We were tenth and we’re not tenth anymore” “There’s still time, king!!” so true

Sands of Time

Shane stopping everything to say hi HBomb, so based

Callum they/them truthing Kara??

Callum “All Things MCC” PK didn’t know there’s a grace period with the sand timer? L /lh

How is he so bad at sot

I love Callum, I swear, he’s just so easy to make fun of

Sausage has such good comms for a first time sand keeper :))

They have so much sand what the heck

It is physically painful how many times Callum has looked directly at that one piece of sand

I love all the field trips this MCC, so many groups traveling together :D

The carpet trails in this blu path are insane, I’d love to study it under a microscope /pos

“Scott about to have to pay all the shipping to Spain” that’s such a good point actually, though I think shipping to America is probably more lol

Sausage did amazing!!! We love his team hyping him up :)))

Dodgebolt

I love seeing everyone rooting for red :D

That is just… not true, Kara 😂😂😂

So true Callum, the void hole in the merch store was peak mcm energy

Sausage for mcc spanish team 2k23

TIL Sausage was Cuban, though tbf I’ve never watched him before and I thought he was from Spain for some reason

This team was so fun :)))

Capitan is a menace /pos

Sausage’s Oli impression 😂

The game ended and they all collectively lost their minds, as they should

CALLUM SMACKTALKING GRID RUNNERS?!??

Shane and Callum sending Tubbo their stream keys and asking Scott if he’d do the same and his response being “God no”

[shivstar]

Well Peter was intelligent. Yes he chose his own life over his friends. That too by stabbing in the back. Yes he is the worst for changing side rather than simply bowing out of the war business.

No one is denying that. What that post meant was not about a fan like you who sees every character you see as a results of their choices and past experiences and demons.

It was about the current marauders fandom who have excluded Peter from the marauders itself. He never counts.

If you ask them to list the characters in marauders era it will be Remus and then Regulus then Sirius then James and after a shit ton of barely mentioned characters and Slytherin skittles, at last they will name Peter if they are feeling charitable.

The point of that post was also that even as a villian we see story about snape with a great character study. His reasons small and big. His home life. His life in school. His relationship to Lily.

But even if you look for hours you will not find much material on Peter's side of going bad story. And that is not because his brand of evil is not as big as Voldemort's... If you see it from a different angle his brand is even worse because he was just a plain simple guy who would have lived a decent enough life and never became evil if things went a bit different.

He wasn't born to do evil things. He is just an every day cowardly guy who like most real life people will want good to come to all but let it come to them first before anyone else.

Also his importance in Harry's life, in Sirius's life, in James's life is hell lot more than Lupin's.

If you remove Remus. Not much change will be there in Hp stories. But ig you remove Peter the story will be entirely different.

So yes in his small ways, he added too much to story.

But because his aesthetics screams pathetic, he is not a character people want to read.

I personally feel he did what most people would do. Not the betrayal but choosing selfishness. Real life people are not loyal like Sirius to just forfeit their life for greater good or like Remus who feel the need to fight to feel a sense of belonging and due to his status as a werewolf. We will never know what sort of person Remus would have turned out if he hadn't been bitten.

Also about cleverness. I will like to remind you as to how Peter was absolutely right in choosing Voldy. I mean he just knew that order is loosing. And he is right. If not for the prophecy business, voldy and de would have killed every single one of them. It was that brutal.

Him becoming animagus at age 15 has to have great level of magical skills. It cannot be that just help was enough. Otherwise every next guy in ww would find a mentor and become one.

From resourcefulness to predictability to knowledge to stealth. He had it all.

So it just because his bet turned out wrong in the end doesn't mean he is less of a character deserving to be studied and analyzed.

You just feel hatred towards him because of your immense love for James and Sirius and Harry and Lily. (maybe Remus too)

But 80 percent people in this fandom redeem bad guy. Draco's brand of evilness was pathetic. regulus'a brand of evilness is pathetic.

Because if we see deep enough peter too had a very tiny bit if change of heart at the end where he didn't want to kill Harry. The same level of getting better that Regulus and Draco showed.

But fandom and AO3 is full of stories about them.

Why do you think Peter doesn't get the same level of curtsey if not for his looks????

‘If Peter had been a hot guy , people would have loved him.’ I don't know how handsome he'd have to be to outweigh his cowardice. Peter's ugliness isn't about looks, it's his actions.

Voldemort, despite being canonically ugly, has many fans. He's openly evil, unlike the sneaky rat who betrays his friends out of fear.

There is a concept of ‘Great Evil’ that is often aesthetically appealing. This kind of evil transcends moral norms, stands beyond Good and Evil and unleashes the Dionysian impulses within our psyche, providing cathartic experiences. People are drawn to its audacity (not that they want to commit evil themselves, they're drawn to other aspects).

Peter's evil however is banal and mundane — born from cowardice, weakness and selfishness. It's the evil of the masses. It's the evil of silence, everyday evil, evil without an idea, driven by fear.

Some people romanticise Peter, seeing him as a tragic hero, inventing noble traits he never had. They don't love Peter, they love their ooc version of him. Peter's core is the banality and mundanity of evil, not “depth or complexity” of his motivation. If he were handsome, he would probably have more fans, but that still wouldn't be Peter. In people's mind, he would be a "misunderstood tragic hero."

But.. Is it really such a difficult concept that evil isn't always committed by GREAT EVIL and people don't always have a justification and deeeep motivation for it, but that it often comes from those who, under good circumstances, would never do it, but here "circumstances forced them"?

That's exactly where the depth of this character lies, in this nuance, not in the cliché "everything must have a very deep motivation" as if the world and the psyche are some kind of simple mechanism of cause and effect.

Appearance doesn't matter at all in Peter's case. Even if he were very handsome, he would still seem pathetic.

[learningtogrowmyself]

What are you afraid of?

During our session on Monday, my therapist asked “what are you afraid of?” I started crying because I couldn’t answer, but I knew I was afraid of something.

We were talking about firefighter. It’s been 6mo since the fallout yet he’s still a constant thought. But I'm finally approaching this point that I’m over it. I'm tired of being hurt by him, by this fantasy I had of what we could’ve been. So, again... what am I so afraid to find out when I dig into those emotions?

Well, I think I found it. If not the complete answer... some of the answer. It took me going down a bad emotional wormhole and looking at his IG, plus someone else’s, and crying myself to sleep to realize “what I'm so afraid of”. 

Yes, part of me was afraid of him moving on. I knew he would. Hell, that’s why he dumped me... he’d met someone else. His IG confirmed there’s a new girl. It happens. (He also grew out his disgusting handlebar mustache which, thank goodness, because that thing is disgusting and really helped reconfirm how MID this guy is.)

But if I'm being honest, I was really afraid of not feeling those feelings again. When we were good, it was such a high. I could feel a genuine love was possible with this guy if we ever made it there. It was a high I wasn’t sure I'd ever get again. A different high than when I was with any of my exes. I think because this go round, I was more vulnerable, attempting to be more emotionally available. Yes, also acknowledging when things were bad, they were UGLY. But I was scared that no one would make me feel that high again. 

Then I realized...

When I quit my job without another gig lined up, I stepped out on faith. No job prospects, very little money in my pocket... nothing but a dream and faith were keeping me alive. I was unemployed for 1.5months and it was BY GOD that I survived that period. Some mornings, I woke up with only $7 to my name and multiple bills due that day BUT GOD would provide a way for those bills to be paid. The unemployment period showed me how faithful and loving God really is. How He hasn’t left me. This time really forced me to lean on Him and my faith.

All that to say... I’m realizing that what I was really afraid of post-firefighter... isn’t something I should’ve been concerned with. And had I really trusted God, I would’ve realized this much sooner. My fear of never being loved is not too big for my God. I was afraid of not ever feeling special to someone but I serve a God who’s literally made money appear in the 11th hour so that I would survive. I’ve been scared of not being loved again and it took me reestablishing my faith to realize that this isn’t a concern I need to be bothered with. And what’s crazy is that I know God has a man out there for me that’s even GREATER than I could’ve imagined. If being temporarily happy with a man who did so much to hurt me, yet brought me THAT much joy... I can only imagine the level of joy, happiness, and LOVE I’ll feel when the right man, with the right intentions, sent from GOD arrives.

I don’t have anything to be afraid of. God’s got me. He always has and He always will. I honestly think I needed to go through that unemployment, trial period to get where I am now with my faith.

We’re moving on. Yes, there can still be sucky emotions attached and some low moments but I’m not giving it as much power as it once had. 

[kiirotoao]

S2 rewatch highlights pt 3

Episode 5

“Super spy” - Mike’s infatuation with super powers is showing

Okay I feel like those spores are really important!! They seem to be the only things capable of sedation and I really wonder if that’s gonna become a factor for s5 as the spores seemed to be everywhere. Like maybe those flowers are gonna spread??? Especially considering the first thing we focus on dying is the greenery when El picks the dead flower in s4

The mellow yellow lights, I swear I’m not insane; yellow is such a heartfelt color in the show. Turned off between Jonathan and Nancy to represent the distance

GOD can you imagine your 13 year old son telling you your friend/confidant/love interest/a police man who normally is in control of heavy situations no less - is going to die please they don’t deserve this 😭😭😭

I strive to have Dustin’s confidence and heart wth 🥺

I need more Nancy and Murray!!! Omg they could save the world together - I’m kinda scared for them in s5…

“Do you accept the risk” HURTS SO MUCH AFTER S4 HHFJFHFHF she’s so bold.

I need more Mike and Joyce too the Will protectors!!!!!!

Haha oh I love when Bob’s brain kicks in, not before his heart, as he enthusiastically and smartly figures out the map. Such a great character moment.

Eww I forgot those body parts in the cave?? Ig the demodogs are a lot less calculated than Vecna in handling victims

El and Becky are trying to find each other’s story. Oh the heartbreak as they communicate through the simple like “dream” and “home” and understand each other HGHFFHDUJ

Once again the yellow throughout the Ives’ house. El’s room. Covered in yellow, in heart, a baby once meant to dwell there but unable to, still felt through the loss.

AHHHHH AND HERE BEGINS THE MOST AMAZING FRIENDSHIP STEVE AND DUSTIN OMG!!!!! Wow halfway through the season I could’ve sworn it was earlier but apparently not!!

“Friends don’t lie” unless it’s under cause for protection!!! Love how it’s emphasized here with the fake out of order game

OOOO I have a greater appreciation for that “water it down” metaphor now I feel like that flew over my head before lol

“Hey, Bob.” “Hey, Jim.” LMAOOOO the difference between Joyce and Bob

OHJFJFJD my jaw never fails to drop with that seizure scene EVERY TIME

Episode 6

AHH omg I missed that key toss from Steve to Dustin - the tiny cue for their synergy right off the bat (pun not intended I’m sorry) is so good

Feels so good to see Joyce silence the entire room of professionals she's so justified!!!!

JANCY GET MURRAY'D HELL YEAHHHH - I love how they're both so stubborn that they needed that push to show them the highlights of what they hadn't fully acknowledged

THE FIRST LIEEEE Oh dear theme how I do adore you

AHWHHGHJH Bob is so accepting. Oh my gosh. It hurts because I feel like he's gotten a fair amount of background compared to other newly added characters my hearttttt

OMGG WAIT I forgot that Will didn't remember Hopper!!! OH my gosh! Bob I get, he hasn't seen Bob, but Hopper???

Oh my gosh the way that Hopper holds his hands over the wheel is SO HHUHG you can tell he wants to hold El's hand and apologize but oh the empty room. The seemingly unreached message.

MAN I miss the handshakes for reconciliation!! I feel like they ended after this season

AWH MAX 😭❤️ her anger scares her ouch too real

WAIT OMG CAN WILL FEEL WHEN PEOPLE DIE HOLY CRAP THAT IS SO HFHG UHOHGOF

[lilac-5ky]

Heyyyy😏 can you write something for Gintoki where you get in an argument with him (cause he’s a jerk) and then he says something so back handed to you (cause he’s a jerk) and you just walk of and like cry or sumn cause it hurt so much and he just tries to apologize and it gets a little emotional idk I just need something that’ll hurt me a little bit 😔😣

A/N: Hi! I feel like Gintoki is more likely to apologize through his action than his words, and so his apology is mostly done than said :p Not sure if this is super angsty, but I hope it's good enough!

Plot: Gin being a piece of shit who never cleans and upsets poor innocent reader with his attitude.

Warning: Gets a bit suggestive with language and some minor angst ig?

Arguing with Gintoki (x Fem!Reader)

(just look at him being disgusting and cute.)

There are many reasons for one to pick a fight with Gintoki. Be it Otose arguing with him over rent delays, or Kagura and Shinpachi demanding their pay, there’s always someone at odds with the Odd Jobs’ boss.

However, when it came down to you, perhaps you had an easier time letting things slip. You’d stayed around long enough to get acclimated to all those wacky situations Gintoki involved himself in, as well as his hectic and lazy persona.

At this point, you’d earned yourself the nickname “saint” from his peers, considering how you seemed to be the only one with enough patience to put up with him. But even a saint’s patience has its limits.

When you walked into Yorouzya on a day like any other, finding an absolute war-zone where his couch once stood, not even that Buddha’s patience of yours was enough to shield your faint heart.

No way in hell would you willingly pick up his dirty underwear off the fan, or clean after the millions of empty takeout boxes residing under the kotatsu (just how much food can a person consume overnight?!), while Gintoki remained idly picking on his nose like a primadonna. This had to end.

“Gin,” you asked in a near pleading tone that went unnoticed.

“Gin?�� Your second attempt was too ignored, his attention monopolized by the weather girl inside the little black screen.

Frustrated beyond compare, you threw about the first object your hands could find onto his head, leaving him with no other choice but to face you. The noodle box ended up landing like a party hat, with a string of curry dropping down his forehead. He sported a somewhat disturbed look, though that wasn’t enough to prevent him from turning back to the tv the second the noodle box fell to the floor.

“Gin!” Unable to contain your temper, you jumped to block his view.

“Huh? Y/N?” Gintoki queried as if he wasn’t even aware of your presence in prior, something that only added fuel to the fire. “What are you doing here?”

“Not cleaning your mess, that’s for sure. What’s this?” You paused to point at the underwear and then his leftovers. “And this? Who’s going to clean all this?”

“Quit nagging, it’s not even 12.” He yawned, stretching his limbs across the couch. “Kagura will probably feed them to Sadaharu, or Tama will pass by later. Just leave them be.”

You couldn’t believe in your eyes, or rather your ears. How could someone this irresponsible be running a business, when this was the kind of reception he had in store for any poor soul that dared walk in? It wasn’t as if Yorozuya was ever the pantheon of work ethics to begin with, but this was too much even for him. Feeding the trash to the dog, just what was he thinking?

“Are you for real? Why would…? Who would… ?” One unfinished sentence followed the other while you struggled to find the right words. “Nevermind. It’s no wonder no one sets foot in here nowadays. Only an idiot would choose another hare-brained idiot to handle their job for them.” You spat bitterly.

“Then I guess that makes you into an even greater idiot, Y/N. Or else you wouldn’t be showing at my doorstep to bitch about something this trivial, especially when it’s none of your concern.” He followed in the same tone, bringing the already heavy atmosphere even further down.

“It’s none of my concern whether my boyfriend’s house reeks like a dumpster? Or whether it gets infested with cockroaches? Then whose is it?” You crossed your arms over your chest. “You know, since I too spend the night here from time to time, I would appreciate if the smell of soured ramen didn’t have to compete with that of your underwear.”

Gintoki sighed in response, lazily combing through his disheveled hair with one hand. You’d always been fond of that scruffy appearance of his, but right now, all it did was add more fuel to the fire, providing you with yet another reason to stay mad at his disposition.

“And do something about your appearance already! It looks as if a crow nested in there!”

“Oi, Y/N. Is it that day of the month? I don’t remember you being such an overbearing control freak.”

“I don’t remember you being such a bum.” You argued back.

“If I’m such a bum then why do you insist on coming here?”

“Maybe I shouldn’t.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t.”

The lack of sound succeeding your heated exchange was perhaps even more disturbing than the argument itself. You got so caught up in talking back to him, that before you knew it, such regrettable words came pouring out your mouth.

“What are you standing here for?” Gintoki asked, his otherwise dead fish eyes now beaming with resentment. “The door is right there. Leave.”

Was this really… it? Was he about to forsake everything the two of you had come to be over a silly argument?

With your questions unanswered and your steps heavier than before, you paced outside Yorozuya. This definitely wasn’t the kind of time you’d hoped to spend over at his place. Part of you expected to hear his voice a final time, to receive the affirmation that this was nothing but a silly lover’s quarrel, though silence came to be your sole companion. Silence, and whatever this gut wrenching emotion was.

Little by little, you felt the oxygen within your lungs igniting you whole, slowly burning at your fuse until you couldn’t go on anymore. Crouched near the ground, all you could do was bawl right outside Otose’s bar, meekly hoping that no one was around to notice your muffled cries.

Was it frustration or was it hurt? You couldn’t tell. The only thing you knew was that this was the first time you’d ever felt such uncertainty. Shoes of different color stopped before you, each pair belonging to yet another passerby who felt entitled to shoot his look of pity your way, but not entitled enough to pry any further, to approach any closer.

It was your fault. If only you’d kept your mouth shut, then nothing would have happened. Gintoki wouldn’t get annoyed, he wouldn’t raise his voice, he wouldn’t dare say such horrible things, and he…you…

No. It was his fault for being this messy and unjust. Even if you were a bit too harsh, you acted out of genuine concern. You had no intention to watch as he festered within the four rusty walls of his house. Gintoki had always been the kind to take care of everyone, but when it came down to his own self, he seldom bothered to lift a finger.

What others attributed as mere laziness, you knew better. It was almost as if by wallowing in such unspoken misery, he was atoning for something. As if he was repenting for past sins only he knew of. Either way, his disregard for his own well-being showed in every single aspect of his lifestyle. From the sorry state of his house, to his own unkempt appearance.

You remembered of the first time you met Gin. You recalled thinking how despite his exterior, he bore resemblance to a mirror. A blurred, borderline shattered glass, be it one that let you see an image of yourself clearer than any you’d seen before. The good with the bad, the beauty and the ugliness, the flaws and the imperfections. Everything that made you into who you were was right there, delving in those maroon eyes of his.

Perhaps Gintoki was never meant to shine on his own. Perhaps his strength lied in making others shine brightest, in reflecting not the image you longed to see, but the one closest to reality.

You liked yourself when you were with him. You felt certain and grounded at the same time. That should you ever lose your way, one look at him would be enough to guide you back. You liked that, but more importantly, you liked him. That silver gleam of his was what made you fall for him in the first place.

He was right. You were overbearing and overzealous and butted in his business without thinking twice, and that was precisely why you wouldn’t give up on him. No matter what it took, you’d never quit clearing his soul off the distortions haunting it. Not before making sure that the man known as Sakata Gintoki would never grow dim, that was.

And so, you wiped the tears with the back of your hand and rose to your feet. One by one, you climbed the steps to Yorozuya all the way to the top where you stood still. What would you say to him? Apologies were never your forte and neither his. Showing up to clean his apartment as if you were part of a clean-up crew didn’t seem like a great idea either, especially when one considered the nature of your argument. What if he pushed you away again? What if he demanded that you leave?

No. No, even if he did that, there was no way you’d run. It didn’t matter if he called you names, if he dragged you outside or any of these things, really. You’d made up your mind to clean after his own mess for however long he needed you to. Until he learned to do it for himself. Until he was forced to get a real look at who he really was. That self destruction bullshit of his had to end.

Before you had the chance to contemplate any longer, the door went wide open with Gintoki appearing on the other side, evidently taken aback by your sudden reappearance.

“I-” You said in unison, each stopping at the other’s interruption.

“You-“Another failed attempt.

Taking a deep breath, you decided to blurt out everything without giving him the chance to cut in a third time. Here goes nothing.

“I’m sorry for acting like an evil mother-in-law and yelling at you the way I did. You are right, I am an overbearing control freak, but I never meant to criticize you. I felt as if that was the only way to make you listen, and I honestly can’t stand to see you living life in a swap because, Gintoki, to me you are someone very important and I only want to see you thrive. Why are you so unkind towards your own self? No matter what happened in the past, you shouldn’t let it bring you down.”

You took a short pause. Perhaps giving him a lecture about past trauma would only get him to retreat further in his shell.

“My point is, I don’t intend to stop bitching at you. Whether you like it or not, I’ll keep interfering in your business, until you stop doing yourself injustice. So please, accept my earnest concern and, for the love of god, allow me to clean your house.”

Your outburst imposed a bemused expression on his face, one that was quickly replaced by a forced snort.

“What are you talking about?” Gin leaned against the frame with his index lazily poking past the shell of his ear. “I don’t recall you paying any visits whatsoever.”

“Wait- what?”

“You play weird pranks, Y/N. Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Or is this a dream you are talking about?”

It was your turn to be dumbfounded. Was this a joke or was he simply going to act as if the whole incident never occurred in the first place?

“Why are you looking at me like that? Did I grow an extra set of balls on my forehead?” He asked, patting down his head.

You brushed his comment off, unsure of what to say next. The mood had completely shifted with Gin returning to his usual “charming” self, something over which you were truthfully thankful. Of course his throwing you out meant nothing. After all, this was nothing but a silly lover’s quarrel.

“No… but looks like your wish is granted.” You jested, removing a noodle that was dangling between silver strands of hair. “It’s finally straightening up.”

Gintoki frowned, looking away while you chuckled.

“If you have the time to be running your mouth, come in already.” He mumbled before scooting to the side.

Upon entering the hallway, the first thing to catch your attention was the scent. It smelled like primrose and magnolia, the sweet vanilla essence completely taking over the foul odor previously emitted by his living room. Did someone visit him while you were gone, or did he actually douse it with perfume?

As the two of you progressed to the living room, your surprise only increased, to the point of making you wonder whether you’d entered the wrong building. Rather than encounterig the same chaos you did earlier, you found a spotless table and an even more spotless couch. The noodle boxes, the plastic cutlery, even the half torn underwear; they had all disappeared.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d place your bet on a second Amanto invasion happening, but the moment you took notice in the half concealed mop lurking between the closet’s folds, there was no doubt anymore. He had cleaned. Gintoki had actually cleaned!

“Gin…” His name was cut in half by a sole sob.

“What are you crying for?” He asked, genuinely confused by your reaction.

“I can’t believe you did such a thing.” You went on, feeling truly grateful. “Everything is squeaky clean!”

Perhaps Gintoki sucked at apologies, but when it came to making things right, he never failed to impress. He always knew exactly what to do. A push was all he needed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Gintoki said as he approached you from behind. “It’s always clean around here.”

You were about to object to that, when you felt a pair of arms snaking around your waist, pulling you closer for him to press his body against yours. Instinctively, you looked up at him, the look in his eyes indicating he was up to no good.

“But if cleanliness is not what you want, I know of a way to make things dirty again.”

On second thought, a bit of disarray never hurt.

[o-rbin]

I think it's an interesting take to see someone else having issues with this scene. Actually, to me, the whole arc of him dying was handled in a way that makes me scratch my head. While I overall was neutral on this scene, I think it was really just because at this point I had checked out of caring too much about anything in particular because I was dissatisfied with the way that things had unfolded. I agree that I am really not upset that Gojo died, but I think the manner in which it happened was highly questionable, and it was even admitted by Gege in an interview that they were struggling with a way to actually kill him off, which I think reads really apparently in that whole arc. Spoilers up to 267 ig

But then we cut right to this scene, ignoring the rest of that which, the pacing alone I guess is an artistic choice. But I think my biggest issue with it is it seems like there was so much that Gege wanted to say during this scene that then gets added as like anecdotes in later chapters. And because of that, I think it really cheapens this scene completely, because the things that are being mentioned later directly conflict with the attitude that we were shown here with 'high school Gojo.'

I think largely, my interpretation of this scene was that Gojo wanted to be back in the time of his life where he was most happy. I think, for all that we know of him, this makes a lot of sense for his character. According to the many flashback panels we got after his death, Gojo really never did personally move on from the trauma of his high school years. And I think, with what we know of Gojo and the care he puts into his students, it's not that he doesn't care for making a better future, because frankly I think there is so much evidence pointing to the contrary, that to draw that conclusion would just equate to not having read the manga, but instead, I almost feel like Gojo had maybe given up on himself ever living in that future he was trying to create for his students.

I think that he personally was stuck in that era of his life, where he had not only the best years of his life, but probably arguably some of his worst too. And there's a lot of focus on how things could have so easily turned out differently in the fandom, but the fact is, they didn't. Gojo nearly died. Geto defected, and all of the plot leading up to that stems from that Plasma Star Vessel mission and honestly there is just simply no way that Gojo doesn't know that. So, I think he has some obsession with that time, and fixated on it in his personal life, even if he knows that, as usual, he has responsibilities for the future and to protect and serve the 'greater good' regardless of his personal feelings.

I think we really see that when he goes to deal with the higher ups, and he mentions in reference to Geto, that he's really just been trying to catch up to him this entire time. I think that line is incredibly important for understanding what mental state he was in before his fight with Sukuna. He knew he was going to die, and he still was thinking of his personal failing with Geto, but he was going to do what needed to be done, because he had people counting on him. Which is also why he went to deal with the higher ups right then, in my opinion. Because he knew he wasn't going to survive the Sukuna fight, and who was going to take care of those kids with him gone? And even then, he still wasn't sure if it was totally the right thing to do so he tries to urge his students to not stay behind because he doesn't want them to have to witness something so brutal and honestly maybe morally questionable (I support him in this decision, though, I think it was fairly reasonable.)

It's odd to see him portrayed as someone who just fought Sukuna because 'he wanted to have fun' and then later see him in the manga behind the scenes, being very serious about the issue and contemplative. One could argue that it's just another aspect of the front he shows others, but I genuinely think it reads more as poor planning on Gege's part. Because, if we are in his "afterlife" or "dream" or whatever, there is really no use for putting up a wall or a front regarding his intentions with fighting Sukuna. Like, what's it matter? You're already dead. And he's also in front of people who, as you pointed out, he's comfortable and close with. I feel as though, while he might've had fun fighting Sukuna- because I don't think that's totally out of his character- his main focus probably would not have been on the fight itself but the repercussions of it after the fact. Especially knowing that once he died, Yuta was going to 'become a monster' on his behalf and take up some of his burden. I genuinely can't believe that a man who was so burdened by being the strongest would happily put that onto his student knowing he was going to die just for the sake of 'having fun' or being a jujutsu enthusiast.

I also kind of take issue with his whole high school group accusing him of never caring about people, or protecting anyone, especially from both Nanami and Geto. I feel as though at least Nanami alone should have had enough experience dealing with adult Gojo to know that despite his goofy persona, he often took dangers onto himself and burdens onto himself to help those kids. Maybe Gojo never cared about protecting people who aren't close to him, (which I also think is false considering in the Shibuya incident he was concerned about all the people who got trapped in his domain, AND we even saw this in high school Gojo being the first to give a fuck about what Riko wanted as a person and being ready to just throw away his current life to protect her from that fate), but it is honestly just slander to exclude the fact that he absolutely took his students very seriously and not just with one student in particular, but every single one of them. Yuta he personally fought the higher ups to protect. Inumaki is the same, his bloodline is usually hunted down by Jujutsu Society but Gojo is the one who got in the way of that. And of course he mentored Megumi and hid Yuji when he had assassination attempts on his head. Someone who is flippant and uncaring simply wouldn't invest the effort to do those things.

I find it so weird that all of these people who are supposed to be closest to him, seemingly just forget all of that in death. Nanami was there personally witnessing it. Geto saw it too. Even if you want to exclude the vague admission by Gege that they were seeing each other during that decade, he STILL saw Gojo being considerate of his students because they have a whole conversation about it before he kills Geto. And, on top of that, it was again, Gojo who mentioned protecting Riko from the higher ups when they were kids, and Geto who had agreed to go along with that plan. So I think this not only cheapens Gojo's character, but the rest of them too? What was even going on in this scene? Frankly, it just felt so odd for me to read, and then as more chapters came out and we see small crumbs of Gojo moments leading up to this point, basically everything that happened in this scene feels moot, because we are really not seeing the same people that we know.

I think in conclusion, I just really wish this was handled a lot differently, or that if we want to say he's putting on a front, that we got some small moment afterward to sort of mitigate these accusations against him? He could've spoken to Geto alone, or had an inner monologue about hoping things turned out okay for his students, or literally anything to clue us back into a character that we recognize.

okay so i fucking hated the airport scene and i need to exorcise it by explaining why and making it everyone else's problem

jujutsu kaisen spoilers up until chapter 236

Okay, so to preface this, my main issue is that this part of the chapter strongly clashed with my interpretation of Gojo's character and, in my opinion, isn't a suitable farewell to him. I know that some people will read this and think "Oh, so you're just mad that things didn't go the way you wanted" and... yeah. You know, I didn't like that something I didn't like happened. That's not unexpected, but if you're not interested in reading that, I totally get it! I just want to go into more detail about why I wasn't happy with the way this went.

I also want to add that I have no qualms with Gojo dying. I'm not thrilled by the way it happened, but this happening is fully expected within shonen codes. I get the significance of it and why it needed to happen for the story Gege wanted to tell. That's fine by me.

Now, to the airport scene.

We'll start with the first panel, mostly as an illustration. This panel shows, from the uniforms to Gojo's glasses and his expression, that we are in the presence of "high-school Gojo". This is reinforced by the presence of Geto, particularly because the only time when we've seen the two of them interact normally was during the Hidden Inventory Arc.

On top of that, Gojo, throughout the airport scene, acts more 'naturally' than he does in the manga, Hidden Inventory Arc excepted. I'd argue that with his students and with everyone following Geto's defection, he tends to have this 'wall' up (both literally and metaphorically). He doesn't talk to them with this kind of ease.

My issue with this is that it very much reads like character regression. It's been a decade since high-school for Gojo, give or take, and for his farewell I don't find it interesting to portay him not as he was, but as he had been.

The obvious answer to that is that this depicts Gojo in the time period during which he was the happiest. I don't wholly disagree with that — especially considering the emphasis in this arc about 'the loneliness of the strongest' and the fact that this was likely the only time when he didn't feel lonely.

I just regret the lack of distance with this idea. Even if it was the time when he felt happiest, he wasn't his teenage self anymore. I wish this had been reflected more. Like I said — this, to me, doesn't feel like a farewell to who he was at the moment of his death, because I'm not seeing the Gojo I'd seen throughout the manga.

Another, less obvious counter-argument could be that this emphasises that Gojo was stuck in the past and couldn't move on from his years in high school. I don't think this is particularly proven as true through the manga. The importance he gives to training his students and his belief that they can become stronger than him seems to show an interest in the future, not the past.

This is the next one. My issue isn't with Sukuna being stronger than Gojo (I don't care about that). Considering the central part Mahoraga plays in Gojo's demise (as Sukuna states right after)

the line about the Ten Shadows feels icky to me, but whatever on that front as well. No, what annoys me about all of that is that considering all of Gojo's confidence up until the end, it... makes him look like a cocky idiot? Which, okay, isn't that far off when it comes to his characterization, I'll give Gege that, but it was always warranted up until that point. Being unable to see danger coming to that degree, especially with the Six Eyes, is kind of ridiculous.

It also lessens the importance of Sukuna's supposed admiration for him, imo.

It cheapens both his death and his character to me.

I'm fully aware that people have used this as proof of Gojo's selfishness and essentially as showcasing his adrenaline addiction, and I get that it would make sense if that was your read on his character, but it came out of left field for me.

Another answer to that argument could be that this is Gojo's perception and doesn't reflect the reality — maybe he thought that but Sukuna didn't — however considering the timing I can't help but feel that we, as readers, are at least supposed to receive it as fact.

This one is less of a criticism and more of a note. It's not uninteresting as far as characterization goes. I think it doesn't come as a huge surprise that Gojo would feel that way but I do regret that this was never explored before. I'm not convinced it was hinted at all that well either, and it doesn't help that the one example we have of him being 'adored' is Miwa being a fangirl. Once again, I regret that we don't see anything about his students here. I think it would have been warranted.

This is probably my favorite panel out of the bunch, which I don't think is going to come as a surprise. This feels like a callback to him being a teacher. I like it.

Okay, this is probably my least favorite part of this. Nanami has said things of this nature before, he's called Gojo egotiscal,

so it's not new that he believes that. However, that is echoed by Haibara (and other people apparently, hence "we all thought that") and also by Geto, since he's the one who concludes "was just proven right by your actions a second ago". I have to assume Geto, in saying that, is referring to Gojo's fight against Sukuna.

I kind of fucking hate that. First of all, what Nanami says is something that I considered to be blatantly untrue in the manga. As far as I'm concerned, Gojo was constantly portrayed as caring deeply for his students, wanting to leave them a better world, and while I don't think he wanted to protect people the same way Itadori does, it's not like it's absent from his motivations either.

(The second panel is him asking about the people that got trapped in his domain expansion, while in Shibuya. This showed he was worried for their well-being. His decisions in Shibuya were also motivated by his decision to limit human losses.)

Geto essentially agrees with what Nanami is saying, which I think is intended to tell the audience that Nanami is right. That's who Gojo is, the person who knows him best even tells you that. Again, this feels very high school Gojo, without the decade of character development and of caring for kids that he has necessarily done since then. It's also telling us that Gojo fought Sukuna because he thought he would enjoy it, not for any sort of higher purpose (I do also hate the "I had fun" panel that comes earlier, in case you were wondering lol).

I also think that this removes any notion of responsibility which Gojo would have shouldered by choice, which I think contradicts other parts of the manga. Honestly, to me, Nanami's take here is so far removed from what I had received from the manga up until that point that it's kind of jarring.

As mentioned before, due to Geto's intervention, I don't think this can be interpreted as "just Nanami's opinion". Due to Gojo's lack of disagreeing and the fact that this chapter is his last, I do think it's intended as the 'true interpretation' for Gojo's character, by the author that is (is it going to stop me? No, but I think authorial intention is interesting to look at/try to find).

This one I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt to, because considering Gojo's conversation with Nanami at this point, he could be talking about Nanami. If he is talking about himself (and I do think that is the case), I want to put it on the record that I also hate it! Again, Gojo not caring about the students he's leaving behind, to me, does not feel 'right' or in character, and they're not mentioned once save for that one throw-away line about Megumi.

I'll discuss this real quick before concluding: is it a dream? I don't think it's that important here. Regardless of whether that's Gojo's hallucination in his final moments or truly the afterlife/the antechamber before reincarnation, considering the position this half-chapter occupies in the story, I don't think it alters my reading of it.

With that being said, I'm leaning towards it not being a dream in part due to Nanami's line about Haibara, which echoes exactly what we saw when Nanami dies.

This line is for the audience in my opinion, not for Gojo.

So where does that leave us? Well, to me, the heart of it is what I said earlier: this feels like a goodbye to high school Gojo, not the one we see through most of the manga, and that was who I wanted to see, and the one who I believe deserved this farewell.

On top of that, for the most part, the characterization of Gojo as done by other characters borders on character assassination, in my completely personal and admittedly biased opinion. It's not at all what I would have wanted him to go out on. Leaves a very bad taste in my mouth and makes me feel silly for caring.

What a sad way to go.

I typically conclude these kinds of posts by saying that I'm happy to discuss what I've said if you disagree, however for this one, I hope I've made it clear that my issues lies with the disparity between my interpretation of Gojo and this scene, as well as just what I would have liked to see, and it's therefore very personal. I do think that if Gege wanted me to have this interpretation of Gojo he didn't do a good job of getting me there, but if you disagree and you liked this scene, you know, more power to you. I don't think that means you're wrong. I just had a bad time reading it and I wanted to talk about it. With all that said you can 100% disagree obviously, but I'm not looking for a debate.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Yeah, It’s Totally Happening

Okay, so my original plan was to talk about TTD and some details I didn’t cover yesterday. I’m going to push those until tomorrow because first everyone needs to know about some super-interesting things that have gone down in the past two days.

(And let me just say that I can already tell this is gonna be a busy season for me. We’re only 1 episode in and I already have SO much to post. So, I see all your messages and Asks, and I promise I’ll get to them. Be patient with me.)

First off, Lauren Cohan is dropping hints on her IG.

Obviously we would be side-eyeing this one way or the other. Yes, it’s a joke. It’s a meme. But that’s WAY too important a scene for her to suddenly post, especially because we don’t see stuff like this from her very often.

And on top of that, Emily is going to be on TTD next week. And yes, I suppose you could see it as a hint specifically toward TTD, but why would she need to be vague or mysterious about that. Why not just say she’s excited for Emily to be on TTD with her? This is hinting at far more. Perhaps at what the walker in the trunk represented to Maggie, even though it was never explicitly stated in the show.

Secondly, the screeners.

For anyone who’s followed me or other TDers for long, you’ll know that we’ve debated for years about whether or not screeners and spoilers might be blocked prior to Beth’s return. The main spoiler site (TSDF) is now defunct, but it’s still possible to get spoilers from screeners and such.

For me, I was never entirely convinced that they would go to great lengths to prevent spoilers about her return. Mainly because they’ve allowed spoilers for other major character departures, such as Carl’s death and Rick’s disappearance. So it didn’t seem realistic that they would try to hide her return.

But guess what?

As of yesterday…

So, basically the screeners will go out, but AMC has told those who receive them that they cannot say ANYTHING about the episode until after it airs. No impressions. No reactions. No hints. Nada.

And this makes me super happy. Not only for obvious reasons (because it’s more evidence that we’ll be seeing Beth or at least hints of her very soon) but because this shows that this is a big deal. A bigger deal than things that have come before, and therefore the show is taking greater measures to hide it and keep it from being spoiled.

The only other thing that could possibly be big enough to warrant this is Rick’s return, and they’ve already told us that won’t happen this season. We have to see the Rick Grimes films first.

So, does this mean we’ll be seeing Beth in episode 3? Possibly, but I wouldn’t hold my breath for that. If we’re right about her coming through Eugene’s storyline, she could show up any episode, now. But they could also drag it out so we don’t see her for a while yet. I also think it’s possible they may be doing this several episodes before it’s completely necessary (before she shows up) in order to allay suspicion. You know, get people used to the idea so they aren’t looking for anything when the pivotal episode (when she shows up) comes.

Not that I have any complaints whatsoever if 11x03 is the episode. I’m just saying, don’t get too excited to where you’ll be disappointed if she doesn’t show up immediately.

Either way, this is a very good sign and something we’ve been predicting or at least wondering about for a LONG time.

TD right now:

[oof-big-oof]

ACOTAR and Setups Part II: Tamlin and Rhysand

SPOILERS: ACOTAR series (and Macbeth too ig)

Part 1: Feyre

In "Macbeth", Macbeth and Banquo are narrative foils to each other. While Banquo is loyal to the king and uses language of growth and imagery of nature when he speaks, the traitor Macbeth's words are full of references to destruction, fire, and unholy happenings. Foils are not just good ways to explore character traits, but also excellent for setting up conflicts and exploring the thematic concerns of the world.

I think it's safe to say Tamlin and Rhysand are foils. They have opposing imagery (spring, flowers and sun for Tamlin, winter, snow and night for Rhysand) and always stand in opposition to each other when it comes to Feyre's narrative, switching in and out of being the "bad guy" and the "good guy". But the way this is handled is .... eh.

I'm going to look at shifts in Feyre, Tamlin and Rhys that work of this foil - and try to look for when and how they were set up.

1. Feyre's shift - TW: discussions of abuse, mental health issues

In the first book, Tamlin is a source of protection and love for Feyre. But by the second book, Feyre is not only struggling with her PTSD but has begun to realise that life at the Spring Court as a dolled up accessory might not be for her. By the end of the book, she has found her place in the Night Court - by Rhysand's side. And honestly? Go girl! Go live up to your potential!

The problem arises with how this is done - that is, Sarah J Mass never does the brunt work of showing us why Feyre cares. It is plausible she is motivated by a desire to protect the human lands, but we never actually see that. There isn't a moment where she realises she needs to work for a greater good, or a moment she realises that she needs to protect those more vulnerable than her - instead, the narrative has her tolerating abuse until she finally has had enough.

Which is great. I have got to admit that I really like the explicit rejection of a happily ever after storyline for Feyre because it took away her agency. But we get this radical shift in character motivation from wanting to be protected and comfortable with those she loves to desiring agency and understanding of herself in two lines:

"The girl who had needed to be protected and who had craved stability and comfort... she had died Under the Mountain"

and

"I didn't know how to go back to those things. To being docile"

hhhhhh. I mean - if you have to say it that explicitly, you're already doing something wrong. But also, why? We never see Feyre struggling with herself in her new body, and wondering why she does not want the same things as she did when she was a human, never see an impetus point for when her desires shifted.

But honestly? I don't mind Feyre's arc. I think it's a bit confused and lacks clarity or intent, and as a result, it is harder to root for her because you don't quite know what she wants, but I think it's still quite good. Where I really have problems are with Tamlin ad Rhys.

2. Tamlin - TW: discussions of abuse, mental health issues

I am not a fan of Tamlin's arc. You could argue that it is part of the thematic message of the series: that things are not as they seem. Tamlin is the wolf to the savour to the abuser, Rhysand is the "most beautiful man " Feyre had ever seen to Amarantha's monster to Feyre's eventual mate. But - the constant twists are unnecessary, more importantly, they and have little to no foreshadowing and just seem like retcons- making it seem as if they are there to keep the audience guessing rather than genuine plot progressions. This becomes even more obvious when the series abandons its core theme of "appearance vs reality" altogether, and as a result loses a lot of its cohesion: a direct consequence of having a bad setup.

His reason for doing the abusive things he does is conveyed to us in two lines, in the same monologue that Feyre's motivation is:

"Tamlin had gotten his powers back, had become whole again - become that protector and provider he wished to be"

Sure. He was much more powerful than Feyre when they first met, so I am having a hard time buying it is the return of the powers that his making him act this way. We know that his actions come from a genuine desire to protect Feyre - this is the guy that was willing to sacrifice his life multiple times and the future of his entire court to keep her safe. The only justification we have left then for the way he acts is that his PTSD, borne out of the trauma and torture he underwent and watched Feyre undergo changed him in some way.

This is why the endless villainizing of Tamlin makes me really uncomfortable. While it is true that the abused can become the abuser, and figuring out how to help them while protecting yourself is something that absolutely needs to be discussed and explored - the way it is done with Tamlin is horrendous because he is never given a chance to heal. Instead, he is thrown from plot point to plot point, an eternal punching bag for the Inner Circle and others to seem morally superior in front of.

And his treatment of Feyre is just weird. If he's so concerned about her safety - why does he not wake up when she has nightmares? Is he instead trying to pretend like everything is okay - if so why does he give Feyre an escort of guards? If his core motivation is protecting Feyre at all costs - why does he lash out at her?? And the text really tries to tell us how to feel about him in this regard, but it doesn't do it very well. For example, take the scene where Tamlin says "There is no such thing as a High Lady". Feyre a second before expressed her desire not to take on any responsibility, and Tamlin responded with this - and the text really makes us want to hate him for it, but all you can see is a person who is perhaps not the best at reading subtext trying his best.

In conclusion - Tamlin's shift to the villain of the narrative is hamhanded and underexplained, making it hard to genuinely hate him, and further confusing the narrative.

3. Rhys the foil gets the girl - TW: discussions of abuse, sexual assault mental health issues

Rhysand in the first book is interesting - he clearly has a heart and a soft spot for Feyre but is also a schemer with dubious motives that drugs and sexually harasses Feyre. There are places in the set up where we understand he cares - but never where we can begin to see he might be a genuine paragon of virtue.

And I will address this more in my post on ACOMAF, but the point I am trying to make here is: we are told through the constantly opposing imagery that Rhys and Tamlin are wolds apart - but never actually given examples of how. Rhys is said to be different from Tamlin because he respects Feyre's choice - but he drugs her in a bunch of weird scenes (that serve no clear narrative purpose by the way - like what was he trying to achieve? why he couldn't he just let Feyre in on that part of the plan?) and withholds information from her about life-threatening situations. Rhys is said to pull less rank - but we multiple times see others defer to him, especially in later books, and never actually see rank being enforced in Tamlin's court with his treatment of Lucien (many times described as his partner, and openly questioning him) and later Ianthe. Rhys is said to have less archaic laws in opposition to Tamlin's Tithe - but he abandons the Court of Nightmares to the monsters who rule it, and never takes serious actions against the Illyrian people who clip of women's wings, and a lot of Tamlin's idea of racial superiority and general superiority just come completely out of left field in the middle of ACOMAF.

Both of them are problematic - it's just that the text tells us to root for one, without actually showing us how one is better, or setting up any clear ideological difference between them. And that cheapens Feyre's character shift and lessen the efficacy of the foil - turning it into Feyre hopping from one lover to the other with little to no character consistency and no nuanced exploration of the theme of the series or trauma.

[matcha-chai-latte]

It's a dangerous way of thinking "whatever evil I do is justifiable because it's for the greater good".

Its true. I’m sure most villains thought that they were doing it for the greater good and for what’s right. But only their actions and the consequences will tell if it’s true. If their real intentions were actually good.

I was talking solely about Soo-won’s example. As the story showed, he did do it for the greater good. Correct me if I’m wrong. Both from Soo-won’s perspective and from an objective one, the evil he committed was actually done for the greater good, it is portrayed in the story very clearly. The country is rehabilitating and the people are doing way better under Soo-won’s reign.

Hak was exceptionally young for a general.

Ok. I parry. Yona is also too young to be dealing with all this and yet she is much more wise and mature in her 16, than Hak is even when he’s now 18. And Yona got wise in less than a year she’s been out of the castle walls, completely oblivious to everything that was happening in the country. Yet she does understand that her father was a terrible king and never once does she question Soo-won or anyone else “Why was my father killed?”. She knows why. She sees the state of affairs objectively. She is bitter at Soo-won for betraying her, but she gets why he did it. Yoon is also 15, yet he also hated the previous king from an even younger age and saw things realistically, as they were. Soo-won was 9 when he started dealing with some serious stuff. Everyone knows that Il was a bad king. And in fact, everyone in this story is very young, it’s not about age. Hak, even though he freely traveled around the country since childhood, heard what people were saying about Il, heard what the generals and guards said about Il, Hak still never questioned himself if he’s doing the right thing. And even now he keeps asking everyone “Why was Il killed?”

That’s where you’re right, of course each person has a different view on things and a different mindset. But it doesn’t mean that every mindset is a wise one. Yona also had a different mindset before the exile. Was it a good one? Il also had a mindset. It led to the decay of his country. I am talking about the more rational and political perspective.

that was the ground he based his worldview on: my tribe is fine, my responsibilities are fulfilled, everything must be going okay.

Well that’s what I’m talking about, the way Hak thought was short-sighted and primitive back then. His tribe was fine yeah. But if Soo-Jin rebelled a bit earlier or if Kai empire attacked a bit earlier, or Xing, there would be nothing left of his tribe, and of his little world with Il as king. Even knowing what kind of king Il was, he decided to close his eyes on that and wait until his dream about Soo-won marrying Yona would come true. I don’t see how that is wise. Unlike Yona and Soo-won, Hak still fails to see the situation objectively. He still looks at things from merely his point of view. But he is trying to understand now, slowly but surely.

Suwon could have confided in Hak about the kingdom problems.

Yeah thats the same thing I said about Yona. He clearly saw Yona as naive and immature. That’s true, that’s what she was like. But he failed to see that there was potential in her, he didn’t try to touch the topic of politics with her. I guess he thought she wouldn’t understand anything. It basically meant him persuading her to go against her father.

And Soo-won knew how Hak was heads over heels in love with Yona and loyally devoted to Il. He didn’t think Hak would choose him over them ig. It was very risky to tell them about something like that, because if they didn’t support him, his whole plan would be destroyed. He didn’t believe in them enough. Things might have been different if he trusted them more.

There are people who are more visionary and look at the bigger perspective (the lion primary type witch is usually depicted as the one classic protagonsits have btw) like Suwon and there are people who focus on relationships and loyalties like Hak (snake primary which is usually more associated with relatable villian characters,

That’s exactly the point, that even though Soo-won is an antagonist (I would call him an antihero though), he has the nature of a protagonist. Hak is the protagonist, but has the nature that is similar to a villain.

Hero vs Villain

The Antagonist Soo-won in the manga is the "I'll save the world for you" type of guy. Basically every hero ever. He loved his dad, so he became the king who saved the Kingdom just as his dad wanted him to.

The main protagonist Hak on the other hand is the "I'll burn the word down to save her" type guy. Classis villain. He killed anyone trying to harm Yona to save her life on the day of the regicide. He would kill anything and anyone for Yona.

Yet, we love Hak and Yona, cheered for their growth and development and was appalled by Soo won's betrayal. I just adore how Mizuho Kusanagi plays with perspective. Akatsuki no Yona was a villains perspective all along. From the beginning, she was the spoilt princess of a selfish king leading a kingdom to ruin. Hak knew this, being a generals son, he was very aware how how things were outside the castle but he didn't care, if it meant Yona would be happy.

[quietepics]

                                      ♡ · 　INTRO.　 * .  VI / ?.

          in garnet’s words ,  the  queen of gaslighting  is here !  hello again everyone ,  today i bring you yet another trash kid .  meet  sibel eren ,  my  mnemosyne  kid .  she’s  a  rich ,  reformed  mean  girl  who  was  never  really  mean  to  begin  with .  peer  pressure  do  be  like  that  sometimes !  i’ll  try  to  keep  this  short .  hope  you  like  her  ♡

THE BASICS

name:  melisa sibel eren nickname(s):  bel , sib birthday:  july 30th, 1997 ethnicity:  turkish birthplace:  born in ankara ,  turkey ;  raised in london ,  england gender identity:  cis female sexuality:  pansexual / panromantic powers: memory evocation and memory manipulation mixtape:  cry / ashnikko ,  candy / doja cat ,  nda / billie eilish ,  desert rose / lolo zouai ,  you are a memory / message to bears character inspiration:  lux lisbon ( tvs ) ,  anya ( anastasia ) ,  viola ( soulcalibur ) ,  ty lee ( avatar: the last airbender ) ,  emma woodhouse ( emma )

THE MUSE

      sibel eren is the only daughter of ozan eren ,  a neuropsychiatrist with a great reputation and an ever greater bank account .  she was the result of a one night stand with the goddess mnemosyne ,  who didn’t stick around for longer than the first year of sibel’s life .  not that it mattered anyway ,  for ozan spared no effort to raise his daughter as greatly as possible ,  all while staying dedicated to his work when he returned to london .

      growing up ,  sibel was always top of her class ,  excelling on all subjects even if she struggled every so often .  it could be that her father bribed her school and teachers ,  but that’s just a mystery no one’s been able to solve .  more important than her grades ,  however ,  were her friends ;  they weren’t the best of people ,  just your stereotypical group of rich kids without a single care in he world ,  but she fit in with them rather nicely .  of everyone in their little group ,  sibel was known for being the nice one ,  the one who would go out of their way to be kind to others rather than bully them .  her friends didn’t get it ,  yet they didn’t care either .

      as sibel got older ,  things started to change within her .  she could feel her memory progressively getting worse and worse ,  yet paid no mind to it  ---  if anything ,  she assumed it had something to do with puberty or teenage hormones .  telling her father about it wasn’t an option either ;  the man was overwhelmingly busy with work and other things ,  and she didn’t want to be just another one of her father’s patients .

      when sibel was sixteen ,  she met her first boyfriend ,  a guy from school who managed to get inside her friend group .  much to no one’s surprise ,  she was head over heels in love with him and their relationship was wonderful .  at least seemingly so .

      about a year later ,  rumors started spreading that the boy was spotted cheating on her ,  which sibel refused to believe .  it wasn’t until she caught him and one of her best friends together with her own eyes during a christmas party that the girl learned that she was being used all along .  the two had been seeing each other for months now ,  and at least half of her friend group knew about it .  yet because of her goody - two - shoes attitude and subpar memory ,  both her boyfriend and friend thought they could get away with it ,  and that it wouldn’t matter .  after all ,  what trouble could she possibly cause ?

        all sibel could think about was how much she wanted to forget what she’d just seen .  not only her ,  but all the people who’d gathered round to witness the greatest  faux pas  of the holiday season to forget it as well .  with clenched fists and a loud scream of frustration ,  the girl willed everyone to forget what happened ,  yet it only led people to lose scattered pieces of their own memories of that night to the point where no one was sure of what exactly they were doing there .  

         to the outsider ,  it became public knowledge that what happened that night was something to do with collective amnesia due to a lot of alcohol ,  but that didn’t explain why sibel was found sleeping for three days straight after the revelation .  when she woke up at the hospital ,  the girl was scouted by nl and claimed by her godly mother .  she hasn’t spoken to any of her  “ old friends ”  ever since ,  but something tells her they might think of her as a freak now .

MISC.

so yeah ,  sib’s memory isn’t the greatest .  it became worse as her powers grew ,  but it’s gotten a lot better since she came to nl as a result of learning to control her gifts .

because her memory isn’t the greatest ,  forming a relationship with her takes a lot of effort and patience .  she might forget you the first couple of times you meet ,  but after the third or forth time hanging out ,  chances are sibel will have your name and face memorized ,  and maybe a random fact too . 

bel relies on photographs and notes a lot .  she’s an avid user of social media ,  not just because it’s fun but because it genuinely helps her remember things .  she also has quite the amount of followers ,  but nothing like an nl ambassador .  she just happens to be rich ,  and her reputation is to blame for her relative popularity .

tends to be a bit snappy ,  but it’s only because she doesn’t want to get taken advantage of or be made a fool of again .  i promise she has a good heart !

is a little bit reckless .  she knows she won’t remember most of the things she does anyway ,  so why bother stressing about it !

when it comes to the medical track ,  sibel specializes in injuries pertaining to the brain ,  as well as taking care of heroes and other demigods who might have suffered some sort of accident that might affect their memories .  she can be found during daytime or night time depending on the day ,  as she often covers for anyone who might not be able to show up for some reason .

plot ideas ig:  someone who just looks out for her and makes sure she’s not being too reckless or getting taken advantage of due to her bad memory ;  someone who’s been putting in the effort to befriend her even though it’s not easy ,  but they think she’s worth the effort or are curious about her ;  a best friend ,  which is a huge deal considering how terrible her old friends were to her ;  one night stands ,  as i imagine she has quite a few ( this could be especially funny considering she most likely won’t remember them in particular ,  just the smash ) ;  a fwb that she actually does remember and is her safe bet of sorts ;  coworkers ;  friends who walk around campus with her to take pictures of things ;  anything your heart desires !

POWERS 

[ MEMORY EVOCATION ]: sibel is able to bring old memories to light with clarity and more vividly. this works best if she’s given a token related to said memory ( an object, a photograph, something from that specific time or day ). however, she cannot create a memory from scratch.

[ MEMORY MANIPULATION ]:  she can alter parts of a person’s memory; the bigger the alteration ( ie. a person, a location ), the more concentration it requires, leading to exhaustion that can keep her bedridden for days. though she can manipulate memories, cannot erase them completely, but her alterations can make a traumatic memory less impactful, or even turn it into a pleasant one.