#ig mostly positive rant

[ohgodimafraud]

.

i was so frantic at one point for physical comfort when i was ill and to be loved and cared for and now im like. literally whatever i can just chill and watch tv and if i somehow end up dying it's not even my problem anymore so why am i so pressed. i already had like severe chest pain and low oxygen and outta control asthma until i took multiple steroids and anti bye byes and bounced back fine. like. (idk im havin an argument bc i wanna get my tonsils out bc ive had strep like 7 times in 13 months but uwahhh we dont wanna take them out but we'll see. ò.ó ) tbh im anticipating getting it again bc last year it was 4x and 4 is DEATH!!!!!! and after 4x i bet the bacteria will die but sure ill take an excuse to zone in and out to like anime or some soap opera

if heavens a one room apartment on the second floor im in like super heaven i have like multiple rooms and nobody bothers me and i have financial security to an extent and my landlord aint upping my rent and i have good insurance (if they fire me ig ill fr get a better job im looking 0.0) and it's like ok that i dont have the energy for someone else rn. i have an air filter that can diffuse essential oils and i live a cottage core life on my switch in my free time and i have good friends and i reconciled with family members i didnt think id be able to and like things are not that bad. if i feel suicidal ik it's not even serious and i can be like ok i think u mean this really sucks!!! damn!!!! im gonna go sleep it off or listen to c/razy p/eople (like the song it's a bop) and scream what the fuck over and over or something or rant about it in my room until i get bored and watch anime. it's like none of these things even matter. my job doesnt matter it's j a means to my own end

idk i feel like i needed things to be such a shitshow so id be forced to fix some stuff about my life. fingers crossed i dont like come home from work tmr like RAAAGHHHHH. idk if most things are rlly that srs tbh

[huldrabitch]

Dorian is my favourite Da character but that doesn't mean I can't also fucking hate that they added homophobia at random to the DA universe in Inquisition

[chemicaljacketslut]

the way i’ve changed soo much in the past couple of years.. was just looking thru my instagram (inactive for like 2 yrs) and like. that’s not even me. i don’t even recognize that person. and in some ways i’m definitely better and in a better place but i’m other ways i feel so much worse… and i do think this mostly feels weird bc im in such an unstable transitional period where i have no idea who i am and all i feel is nervous for the future. once i’m on stable footing i probably won’t be put in such a tailspin by some old pictures. but goddamn they are spinnin my fuckin tail tonight

[wildpeachfarm]

Sorry I keep sending in asks LMAO but yeah I totally agree especially nowadays I think the fandom numbers and activity is fine on tumblr? It seems to be similar as before for me but on Twitter holy fuck is it like really really dead (at least the interactions are) I can’t tell if people are just more inactive or just don’t interact w art as much as before + dranart is like gone most of the month so my posts barely even hit likes and interactions as it did before which feels like a punch in the gut for sure I don’t want to sound ungreatful in ANY way btw hope I don’t sound like that😭😭 I think most artists and writers are going thru it rn I hear that their interactions keep getting dropped like 50% every week it’s so sad

I think it’s the fandom + the algorithm too cause I have NOT been seeing any dteam stuff on my tls just because I was inactive for a couple days which is wild like 😭

Many artists and writers are probably feeling down and struggling with numbers and self worth including myself so we just gotta push forward and wait for the drupload ig 💪💪 atp since everyone’s struggling just draw write whatever the fuck you want you know nobody gives a fuck in a good way if you think kinda positively ig haha

Also people on twt usually only interacting w mostly straight forward Cc art (in case of Dnf like them cuddling and kissing) like it’s cute yeah! But those seem to be the few art that people actually interact w which is sad too as an au based art acc LMAO but ig it is what it is and I need to deal w it

Sorry for the long rant GJSJFKA love you mokuuuu

ILY wolfy and yes you are so correct I really do think people especially on twitter need to get better with supporting artists and writers because I am especially seeing low rts. Dream fanart pivoting to liking random shitposts and tweets from stan accounts definitely killed their impact because now their likes hold very little importance AND we can't even see them any more 😭😭😭 so that also sucked and it just happened to be during a time where reach and sharing was low to begin with. Certainly hope that activity resumes with more content but idk I think ultimately we need to remind the fandom how much supporting others really helped everyone and uplifts the fandom "functionings"

[franciskirkland-deleted]

I had to ramble because Antonio is indeed a hard character to write. He's both awful and amazing

PLEASE RAMBLE are u kidding me. rambling is never not welcome this is rambling central. i am nothing if not the village idiot here to rant and rave, if anything u should apologize for enabling me xx <3

this little fucker needs to be trapped in a jar and studied under a microscope... i need to Understand him... he compells me against my own will... he's like a bull who's been castrated.

as a nation-being-person, he's oddly youthful even in comparison to younger nations. he's old as dirt, older than france actually, and still not as mature which is not setting the bar high. he's passive-aggressive and vengeful, but also extremely influential in a positive way? like western society without spanish culture would be so dull.

he's someone who was once immensely powerful but rly isn't anymore and has become, for lack of better words, irrelevant? never to me, but i have literally met grown adults who did not know spain was a country (let alone portugal) i wish i was kidding rn. as a History Enjoyer i can't ignore the fact that spain has a dark past, responsible for everything from colonial imperialism in the 15th century onwards, to brutal fascist reign throughout the 20th century. like tbh, he was once on par with england for being the Worst re: colonization, genocide, exploitation etc. in my honest opinion - while france as an imperial power did some awful shit particularly in africa - england, spain, portugal and the netherlands are by far the worst.

buuut with that all being said. i mostly write human au and i do tend to keep irl tragedies at a distance, while their personalities are still influenced by historical events, at some level ig.

as a human, he's just as complex. he's a fuckboy. he's a himbo. he's a loser (affectionate) and sometimes a loser (derogatory). he's Catholic and debilitatingly homosexual. he's passionate. he is... devastatingly sexy. he is kinda wifey, ngl. he's also kinda socially incompetent but gets away with it bc of his looks. perfect smile... sexy accent... fat ass... grrr i am squeezing him like a stress ball... i have written him as everything from a total manipulative creep to a bumbling fool who just wants his papi. like look at him... if he told me he was just a caked up white boy who never did anything wrong i would believe him... and im italian so he would bear my children.

you can pry my canon divergent spamano from my cold dead hands. pelt me with rotten tomatoes in the town square i dont care.

the bottom line is, spain has no business being this cute, but some way, somehow, he is, so imma go with it ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[stgosupremacy]

Hi! I just wanna say I love ur blog! I like how you see and talk abt Goh's character ❤️

I know some people (mostly those toxic pokemon fans) REALLY don't like Goh, and it upsets me bc it feels like me and them watched a completely different character on screen.

What do you think about it? I just don't get how they can hate him!

omg hey fellow goh lover!!!!!! ���� i also just wanna say thank you for the lovelyyyy message because i ask the same question daily honestly

(sorry i had to use that the animation is too slick)

ANYWAY

it actually upsets me a lot too that people don't see the good in Goh! im glad you think the same <3

okay there's some instances (yes im saying this 💀) where even i think goh went a bit too far like even though i think it's sick he caught suicune i do get why people were so mad about it? but cmon that was a bit too much hate 😭

Ash hadn't caught any legendaries his entire journey so yeah Goh catching suicune at the early-ish start of his journey was....just a bit like oh ok wow even for me lmao but yk that topic will probably never calm down lets be honest

Then there's him just catching every pokemon without battling, that I also get why ppl are mad because I was rewatching the unova anime a few days ago and a lot of the episodes had an emphasis onbattling before catching, and you can say that goes for the rest of the pokemon anime after that too...up until journeys 😂

Goh is a bit of a rulebreaker in that instance, i get that, but if people hate him taking so much screentime for Ash

(heads up the episode where goh goes on vacation and meets tokio again is the 1st episode in the anime history without any scene of Ash in it at ALL which is pretty crazy)

then I'm sure we wouldn't want to see Goh battle e v e r y single pokemon he catches, like his goal is literally to catchem all as well BUT BUT THEN AGAIN, that arguement is pretty weak i guess, and i understand why people would be mad, but I really dont like when they genuinely just hate him excessively 😭😭

OKAY POSITIVES NOW THIS IS WHAT I THINK

His character development was really nice in my opinion, and I really like how he more often emphasised the fact the reason why he wanted to catch throughout the series, and he reeaaaally understood pokemon better and forged such nice relationships with all of them

(also i was a bit sad Ash didnt get any galar starters too but....im sorry i feel like they're too perfect with Goh im proud of him)

🥺💖

he's really adorable goofy sweet amazing incredible gay and literally the entire package there are those minute things about the pokemon catching yadayada but that basically is forgotten when i watch him on screen

gonna reinforce my point about how he is perfect with the Galar starters...im sorry but look at them.

(you cannot talk to me about the drizzle episodes I will literally start crying. Also the grookey errand episode and that hug. Omfg)

You can see how much he cares for his pokemon (all the hugs above omg stop 😔💖) and I wish other people would also see that 😭 😭

He's so sweet and kind now especially at the end when Ash finally managed to help open his heart to other people and also Ash himself 😛 😛 OK I told myself I wouldn't bring satogou into Goh's honour post but they're another reason I love Goh so much, they compliment each other so well and I couldn't think of anyone else more perfect for Ash I love them both 💗🥺 (... In case you hadn't noticed)

Then again, it's still opinion based ig, not gonna fight about it 💀

Sorry this was such a long response (but cmon what were yall expecting..) but I kind of felt like I was gonna do a post like this sometime soon so thank you for anyone who voluntarily read this long-ass rant about Goh and @louie-inc for asking the question too!! 💕 💯 💕 💯

[fraudulent-cheese]

actually I would be interested in your heather/eva thoughts if you wanna share them......

OK. ok im actually on my computer so it's time to attempt to be articulate!!!

So my memory is uh. shit. and i don't remember when i really started thinking about them? I know it was AU related however, since i said so in my reblog of this post but im unsure which one it was??? (like it def wasn't my swap au but i don't think any other ones i had running around my head had them at the time) And it was just a pairing i thought was neato at the time. i was uh, a little more focused on other ones (courtzzy. and alenoah.) + i hadn't looked into Heather's character yet so it got sorta put on the backburner.

I had to dig up rambles i left in discord wayyy back in june to clean em up a little to try and explain what scratches my brain about em!!!

Funnily enough it's got very little with the few canon interactions they have - which mostly consists of Heather stealing Eva's MP3 player then giving them back after the challenge's over, Eva ranting about her dislike of Heather during Haute Campture, and one or two moments where she's just part of a crowd.

The thing that drew me in at first was just how opposite they are:

Like you have manipulative, pushes everyone away, has huge trouble being genuine Heather, and then you have blunt, straight-foward, values honesty Eva. You have Heather who places both alot of importance and feels alot of resentment towards her feminine presentation, while Eva seemingly doesn't care and presents more masculine (for this show at least).

They do have some things in common however; they've got alot of anger in them for one! They're both interested in leadership positions, and both fail to reach them for different reasons. I also headcanon both of them as neurodivergent and neither are super aware of it. They also don't have many friends, but would definitely get attached to the ones they make.

I have the very specific vision of eva being the first girl heather crushes on and her not knowing what those feelings are or how to deal with them and assumes they're fully negative and it must be hate because she's not acting how "a girl should" and she's fine with it so there has to be an issue with it (and it's definitely not because heather's lowkey jealous of Eva's ability to just be herself or to admit to and work on her own flaws without getting shamed for them by the people closest to her, totally not. It's not that eva gets genuine connection that is completely alien to Heather at this point, no)

Meanwhile Eva is not remotely aware of Heather's inner termoil and doesn't like her for her scheming and dishonesty but will admit that she is pretty, even during her bald era. (This would probably fuck with Heather's feelings for the girl even more, because what do you mean the literal manifestation of her insecurities still thinks she's hot like this. That must be a trick of some kind, no one could think she's even remotely beautiful like this and not be lying out of their ass to make fun of her but this is Eva. Straight foward, blunt Eva. Why would she lie?)

Also i genuinely do belive that Eva's female bully label mostly to fully originates from her anger issues and the complete lack of acomodations or therapy for it, most likely worsened by her status as an immigrant (remember the Island bios?) and the bullying she most likely received as a child for it. Guess who was also most likely bullied growing up for not fitting it? Heather.

I've been developping an AU alot that is currently stuck in the interns server/astrokyle's server limbo because there's a couple parts i wanna get out before i start talking about the actual fucking meat and bones of the au but what i can say is that heatheva happends in it and it's been a blast both figuring out what happends and Heather's arc in it as a whole. I have talked about them in the context of a no Total Drama AU before however, so uh. Feel free to read it ig.

I also had an idea for a fic a while back for them and i might write it out eventually, but it's a fic that takes place in the short inbetween period of island and action in which after a conversation during lunch, Heather takes interest in Eva's music player (spoilers: she actually likes the music she's composed). I have no fucking clue when it would be finished tho (reminder that im in medschool and while it's pretty calm now it's not gonna be soon) but yeah!! The girlies, they've been on my mind :)

[threadsun]

YES YES YES YES !!! I really like when people rant about stuff !! Either from fandoms or just like how much they hate life, It’s like this sense of “omg they are being so real :0” and I love ranting as much as I love to hear it ! Plus I can get annoyed pretty easily when something doesn’t go the way I want,,, which is every time, so it’s fun to just rant about stuff,,, meaning that my friends might be tired of it— IT IS FUN THO PLS RANT WITH ME EVEN IF YOU DONT KNOW WTF IM TALKING ABOUT !!

-JDA here-

Oh !! That sounds really nice !! Silly how I know nothing about visual novels, they never really catch my attention cuz I’m dumb at reading, but then that one rabbit hole I told you happened and now im just waiting for news on every game- they’re silly !! And i like silly crazy guys !!

Same ! Lusting for characters is just oof— top tier, especially when you have someone to talk to about that one character !! Just bla bla about how much you love them !! Ooo so sweet !!

I don’t really have a type when it comes to fictional crushes,,, uh sometimes they’re cute and nice and others they’re not even human !! Ig they make me laugh then that’s all it takes.

Painful, the worst I’ve felt is have my feet paralyzed until I move them with my hand—

Im kinda curious about that silly power you have but tbh I think I’m too honest here so I don’t think it’ll be much of a challenge,,,

-also don’t Z post (but also PLEASE Z post) I will go feral and eat him yes this is a threat, for Z-

Exactly!!!!! I loooove when people rant at me about anything!!! In Yiddish there's this word, kvetch, which is sometimes used in English but they don't quite use it right? Kvetching has a more positive connotation in Yiddish, it's the Jewish tradition of complaining recreationally. Just like whining/ranting about shit for fun. It's one of my favourite things!

Silly crazy guys are great!!! Honestly, I have a bunch of different types when it comes to characters, but if you show me a pathetic man who looks like he'd whimper if I bit him, I'm melting. Or like an easily flustered monster!! Or a woman who's silly and goofy and causes problems on purpose!!

Oooof yeah paralysis sucks. I've started getting these muscle contractions that lock up whole sections of my body really painfully for a few minutes.

My silly little power is just being able to tell what kinks a person has just by looking at them. I have a 100% success rate so far, including people who told me I was wrong when I first did it and then came back later and was like "fuck you were right I was just in denial" lmao but my discord friends mostly like to use it by sending me a picture of a character so I can tell them what kinks they'd have.

>:3c no one can stop me Zposting!!!! I drew a really stupid lil comic of him that shows off how untrained I am at art and also how silly he is, I might post it heeheehoohoo

[amyrafierceblade]

Alright, I need help

I have no way of watching Dragons: The Nine Realms on any platform, and probably won't for a good long while.

A good long while I have no patience or tolence to wait on.

So.

I need everything there is to know about Dragons: The Nine Realms. I've already scoured the wiki but what I'm looking for is more along the lines of how they would act, react, say, think, do, not do, say, not say,

It goes on.

Its for a writing project, which I will be posting to AO3 when I can.

And yeah, its gonna be an AU, of a sorts.

But I need the information to work on it.

Preferably unbiased, but hey, you wanna rant(positive or negative) go for it, more I can learn.

I'm mostly looking for information on the layout of ICARUS and The Fissure(ig?), as well as heavy info about/on Alex.

Yeah her.

Specifically an indepth personality.

I read the wiki, and decided I need more.

So

Tell me everything

And I swear I'll try to make it worth every minute you spend.

[fauzhee10069]

Heyo apart from me starkly disagreeing with ur beefleaf hate post, I'm honestly mostly bothered by u tagging it with beefleaf/not censoring the name.

It appeared in the main tag while I was scrolling it, because i rlly love bflf, and I'd appreciate it if u could keep hate out of the tag!!! Its made for ship content, nto hate on the ship.

Again this isn't even because i disagree (ig it's up to interpretation though, but i I want to say that just because someone was once in love with a girl doesn't mean they're straight, bisexuality exists, pls dont erase thar!!!!) its rlly jsut cuz I don't want to see negativity on my otp when I'm looking for content of them :(

I hope u can see why that'd upset me a little, no need to respond or anyrhign, just for the future!!! Cuz ik that not only I get upset at seeing negativity about my otp while scrolling the tag...

(Also if u dislike sth so much, why not use thst energy to focus on sth u like instead? I feel like that might make u happier than hate posting--)

Okay, first, thank you for your input.

I will add more tags so that it will make clear that my post is not about positive content about beefleaf.

Then I'll also add more warning in the beginning of my post, so that readers can expect what they are about to read and shippers who don't want to see any negativity about beefleaf may simply skip it.

But I won't remove the #beefleaf tag, because the point of my post is clearly about beefleaf. Just next time, make sure to read it carefully to the entire tags before proceeding and regretting what you are about to read! (while I'll try to be more careful with my 'warning system').

I won't bother to remove my post (nor stop writing more), because I can do anything with my blog which so far contains my personal opinions on both positive and negative thoughts in a balanced way.

I'm not a hater with no life who carelessly enter people's fan-clubs just to bash their favorite things right to their face.

But the tagging system in tumblr is not exclusive, rather it serves to indicate 'what is your post related to?'

So how can I just remove the tag when it is the main topic of my post?

You have the ability to just ignore it & scroll down, people can write what they want and you can read what you want.

So, I’d rather have you block me than remove my (main topic) tag just to ease your mind.

And about the canon things that I said, it seems you also didn't read my post to the end (maybe you got emotional first hmm), my canon breakdown serves as a starting base for understanding beefleaf, but if you get to the section "How can ‘beefleaf’ work better?" in my post, that's also the part where I started ignoring canon, that even though He Xuan had been straight in flashbacks, it is still possible that he's starting regret some of his action & care for Shi Qingxuan.

My canon breakdown for that post is like; "oh so the truth is that, but we can bend it like this".

Lastly, hate posting & rant posting may sounds similar but not the same. You need to read the content to fully understand, but 'hate posting' doesn't contain any positivity to back up the negativity whereas 'rant' is more personal about what you have in mind, yet not necessarily being all negative.

Though I don’t think you want to read my entire post as it triggers you so much.

But in some case, rant my overlaps with hate when the poster only has negativity in mind.

Also when I said “many beefleaf shippers”, it’s not necessarily about you. But if you got triggered by it, then it’s on you.

Also, if I hate beefleaf so much I wouldn’t have bothered making this edit.

ty

[1-talk-alot]

ThereIsABombAboutToBlowItllDefinitelyRuinTheShowPleaseLeaveBeforeItsTooLateIfYouStayYoullSurelyMeetYourFate(StopDancingImNotSpeakingInCodeTheresABombAndItsGonnaExplode) anyways!

I’m gonna it’s my friends again and my opinions on them and what’s changed! (Wooo wooo hurrah bravo)

Bullet points because I like bullet points

M - I had to start with this because it’s like the main topic of this blog most days (aside from me) and like. Look I can’t ignore the shit theyve done ok and I can’t say that I like them now but I will say that I miss them from before. I think like mid-last year was better and when I think of them on my own I can only remember running across the playground hand in hand in the rain or literally cackling over a doodle of Kirby with stick arms in English class or sneaking out of last period a little early together or goofing around in my own kitchen attempting a paper mache volcano and then I feel like a shitty friend for everything I said about them but they both hold true. We’re not the same as how we used to be to eachother and im always going to miss how we were no matter what, and again I’m not saying I like them, im saying I miss them, but I can’t like them for who they became

C - oh my goddd where do I start ok: they used to be like that person who you could always count on to have the bestttt insight advice or just reason. They were always so cool and so admirable (again not in the pervert way) They were always the most logical and just right with their opinions which is why I cannot believe how things have turned. I’m not gonna lost what they did because you (the only one person who I’m expecting to read this) already did like yesterday or the day before idr but holy shit. It’s so fucked up and I can’t imagine how it looks in their head because they have to know what they did wasn’t ok??? I find it hard to believe their oblivious to the fact because they’ve always been the most confrontational voice of reason, they always knew when something was or wasn’t acceptable and they always phrased it perfectly so it’s impossible that they don’t know how fucked up what they’ve done is right??? Im very briefly skimming how I feel about this but yeah thats the basics ig

A - there are two people who’s name starts with A, so to distinguish, I’m talking about the one who also likes to refer to themselves as Bruce Wayne as an inside joke: I have nothing bad to say about this person and nothing has changed I just wanted the excuse to say how cool they are. They’ve got like the best moral compass in the world and theyre so easy to talk to in the way that they can carry most of the conversation somehow??? Theyre also so easily hilarious and just like. Top teir personality man I honestly didn’t know people like you still existed but it’s nice to know they do

K - ok new code name but I’m sure it’s easy to guess who that is: At the start like then they joined I was only skeptical because they were Ms friend which ig is biased but I just wanted to make it clear that it no longer holds true and theyre really nice and I like them a lot :3

L - again nothing has changed so I’m not gonna write everything here since it’s all been said before but they’re really admirable (in a “that persons so [insert complementary adjective] I wish I could be like them” way not in a pervert way obviously) and theyre really cool and I also like them a lot and they make going to school sooooo much more manageable honestly

K - since there are two people who’s name starts with K now I’m gonna specify this is the one who’s a girl and is also Russian (to distinguish between the other “K”) anyway She’s so so so so so so cool omg Ik I’m saying a lotta positive stuff which is a bit out of character for my rants but she’s also so pretty and she has suchhh good fashion taste I wish I could be her ngl

W - I was mostly planning to do the people who i see every day In school BUT! Whatever so: alright disclaimer W is an awesome friend we’ve been friends for like 8 years and I never wanna change that but ik rn they have an ed (which I’m not bashing on on its own bcs that would be super hypocritical and also fucked up) and they have an underweight bmi rn which is like yk it’s your business im not going to comment on it out of nowhere but they just keep bringing it up unpromted. Like earlier today they said something like “no thanks I wanna stay at 50kg!” Almost totally out of nowhere and I’m as someone who’s never met them before you’d be thinking “oh well that’s asshole behaviour cut ties with them already” and no bcs they’re genuinely not like that at all. And I feel sick talking about this bcs ik if I had a thigh gap It’d also probably be on my mind 24/7 bcs like after all that struggle it’s hard not to be proud but please. As someone who’s trying to recover rn these random out of the blue mentions on how thin they are is just soooo crushing but anyways moving on

E - ok that was a lot let’s lighten up the mood a little bit shall we! Pretty much nothing has changed but I wanted the excuse to write this paragraph anyway

Theyre literally my favourite person ever and ik im not always the most engaging person to talk to (but they are!!) but I loveee hanging out with them sm they make my life so much better and they’re sososososososoo pretty theyre acc gorgeous ahsjajdjajdjja I love them so much words cant capture its entirety <333

To end on a good note im gonna list some of the reasons I love them sm (/p)

- theyre often very passionate and their energy is contagious

- theyre very understanding and non-pressurising :3

- they also get what I mean when I start spouting random words to try and describe an overly specific feeling

- hugs!!! Their hugs are literally the best need I say more

- the weird ass conversations we have (online and irl) that would seem so strange and incoherent to a stranger

- how we dont even have to be talking its just 100% more enjoyable if theyre in the room too

- Art! Theyre such a good artist dude even the doodles in the margins of their books are somehow neat

- they can make me laugh even through text which might be a byproduct of how much I love them but it still counts

- idk if this sounds stupid but they just have like all the best opinions (except when it comes to their taste in men /j)

- writing! Point blank theyre such a good writer idek how to elaborate on that they’re just an amazing writer (“yay!” Said the whole class /ij)

- Ik I’ve been harping on this a LOT today but for the final time theyre so fucking prettyaydjajdjjsdh

- I can trust them with anything :3

- feel like this is too long and I could pretty much think of new points forever so im gonna stop now but you get it :3

Anyway I just realised I started saying “bullet points bcs i like bullet points” and then proceeded to not do bullet points so you can kill me now it’s ok (I didn’t proof read this btw)

Bye bye!

[evellys--blog]

lol haven’t posted in a while, I got some new thoughts going around I just kinda wanted to share :/

Now one, I’m losing hope quick that Jasmine has any chance of winning. I fully support voting for her still, but a, she’s still way off cost-wise for the ballots, so unless she summons like 500k soon shes going to have to drop out, which I def understand that rant at the end of the last live there, bc I want her to run, and to win!! but then b, I feel like ppl are both confused abt her policies and/ or just won’t vote for her, which is also sad and kinda tied into the prev problem :/

Also, two ig, I feel just straight up dissolutioned with politics and philosophy. Like I had this talk with my friend abt politics and it almost made me give up this art project I was doing, then I talked with another friend and I felt lucid again, but it’s just like, annoying thinking through things, esp with the last thing I was researching, rabbit-holing lol, was accelerationism, but specifically Mark Fisher’s whole line of thought and anti-hauntology and all that, and it just came back to an idea of solidarity essentially, within consciousness. I wrote this crazy 4k word memoir-essay-analysis-email to about my highschool life, a fanfic I was working on, and the books this guy wrote I was addressing, Matt Colquhoun, after reading his books, and it felt incredibly lucid and it’s probably the best piece I’ve ever written, I might post it some day but it’s very personal and kinda only works w the context between me and the guy, idk. Anyways, the point is that I read all those books, I almost read Libidinal Economy, the most depressing book ever lol, and thought through all this stuff, and like I put it in the email I wrote, because of the social position I was in, but then I just came back to the same fucking conclusion. It’s so annoying to do all this fucking research and do all this, seemingly profound, thinking, all to come back to the same fucking thing. Like yes, capitalism is evil and Lovecraftian, like there’s not arguing at this point, like we need community we need friendship we need fucking resources for life, but like the whole fucking world jus keeps going rightward and powers at be fuck is over over and over again, all the art we see is saying “GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS SHIT” and “STOP STOP STOP” and in some cases even how to fucking do it. And it is doing something, I do see a shift, a leftward shift, and it seems to be impactful, like people at my school speaking out about Palestine, people online, at least cool people, all that, and all the Breadtube and stuff, analyzing that art, showing people to the revolution. But like, I’m tired of explaining the same shit over and over, I’m tired of our fucking diagnostic relationship with capitalism, I’m tired of feeling like I’m preaching to the choir whenever I speak and nothing changes. It’s like, where the fuck is the action? Where can I fucking do anything?

I just started this (mostly native) food forest garden in my backyard bc I have the space, and I’m going to start getting them in more communal parks and rec areas if I can, in an effort to get the right of food out for free as much as possible. I was thinking of staying local in my state for college, but with Kamala or Trump getting elected? I feel like this fucking country is fuckin doomed. I do fuckin hope it falls, but if it’s by its own contradictions, it’s bringing everyone down with it, and it is already. What do I fucking do?

I keep fucking talking in circles, it’s coming back to why i was going to read Libidinal Economy, its thesis has to do with the lack of any true ‘unalienated’ Outside. I don’t want to keep fucking talking in circles. I don’t want to keep talking in circles.

The only hope I see in this world for anything is if the Palestinian movement is successful, and at this rate im not even sure if it will (we have to persist until it is!). FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE

[ac-liveblogs]

Sad to hear that you seemingly haven't been enjoying Penacony so far. I agree with all your criticism how it kinda fails building up a mystery because it gives things away to soon and how subtility is kinda dead, despite that I still personally enjoyed it. Mostly the story bits that focused on Aventurine ( + Dr. Ratio) because I honestly can't even remember what the others were up to the entire time.

Also yeah the anniversary event feels more like one of hoyoverses webevents just put directly into the game. I hope next year they involve actual gameplay at least.

It's disappointing to me too... I was really hoping we'd see some improvement. Allow me to rant a bit but like... how can I get invested in a supposedly character-driven murder mystery (where everyone has their own hidden agendas) -

- that goes out of its way to knock out the three main suspects in the first 20 minutes of patch 2.1?

If it weren't for the 6 week break, 2/3 of Aventurine's accusations regarding Acheron would've been confirmed via flashback like... 5 minutes after he made them (extremely anticlimactically no less), and before you can even go 'well if she's a murderer and an Emanator she's dangerous enough IG' the game is going 'chill, the Trailblazer isn't in danger from her! ....OR Sam, who also tells you why he's in Penacony for the most part...'

And before you worry about what Aventurine wants from you despite the fact he told you 80% of what he wants from you, he immediately divulges the other 20% in the bizarre playable Aventurine segment which ALSO confirms he didn't kill Robin...

Black Swan and Sparkle are in a weird position too bc Black Swan feels very superfluous (not helped by her main contribution RN being trying to investigate Acheron... when we already learnt the thing she's investigating via flashback...) and Sparkle is just... odd.

I think Acheron panned out this way because HYV really really really wanted to give her those aesthetic trailers I haven't watched and I'm pretty sure Sparkle is a casualty of being a 2.0 banner character + HYV just being very scared to make playable characters seem like genuinely bad people lest folks not roll but... it's not an excuse? And it sucks to read???

Fontaine and Penacony are just HYV being bad at writing mysteries in two completely opposing ways, its fascinating.

I'm at the Aventurine + Ratio segment right now, and I'm really curious which part of this MURDER MYSTERY HYV thinks I'm going to care about bc man... they are making the characters a real hard sell.

There certainly is Ratio+Aventurine banter but I keep getting annoyed by how often the game tries to beat you over the head with AVENTURINE IS A GAMBLER like showing him fighting with dice and saying he's a gambler/using gambling metaphors, constantly, are a decent substitute for I don't know. Actually gambling???? He's my kind of character IN THEORY but they just won't commit to the bittttt

(Consequence of it being 6 weeks between patches I completely forgot why Ratio is even here.)

The thing I liked in early HSR (Belobog) was being able to stay in a committed party with Dan Heng and March 7th for the most part. Being split up from the party for a mystery the game is having a really hard time selling as something I should care about is... exhausting...

[wellnesscard]

okayyyy heres my rant about a lil bit of chicken fried a cold beer on a friday a pair of jeans that fits just right and the radio on

gooddddd. i lowkey/highkey hate my jobeven tho there isnt much "real" to hate on as compared to several other places ive quit. its just not my favorite. its mind numbingly boring and repetitive and still half the other managers loose their shit about doing the expected days work. i say other managers bc i am a manager which i didnt realize was the position at all until a couple months in, and if i decided to not do the training id get my pay cut from $14 to like $12. and that fuckings irks me bc had i known i was going to be responsible for ppl and things i wouldve asked for more koney when they hired me but that ship has sailed and i fuckt it up bc i thought i was going to be a line cook. and ig they need managers soooo bad they literally just paid for my serv safe n all that jazz. and i swear half the ppl that work there are fucking retarded like the last manager in training failed serv safe three or more times.. then when i passed everones like congratulations that test is really hard u did it! im like i have to get the fuck out of here Fast ohmygod. and i work with devon and its mostly fine but also drives me nuts occasionally. like were so together he just forgets stuff like telling me im manager in training or training me on any management shit at all before im supposed to start running shifts solo. im just frustrated by a lot and i want to quit but i know i probably shouldn't because its so fucking easy and i can get away with virtual murder there . its also a tiny cage of a kitchen, constantly overstaffed, and feel a bit trappt by a) devon going out n getting this job for me when we moved bc he already worked there n is buddies with the GM, and b) the GM being such a sad ass self-conscious redhead who has also just handed me a ton of free goodies. tbh they do quarterly raises and maybe if i negotiate to 15.50 ill be more okay with it all. that is/has been another struggle is making my own relationships w these people bc devon knew them all first and is a bit more boisterous than me and im trying to push past some of these codependent habits ive ended up with (started crying at this bit so u know were getting close to the truth) which is so fucking Hard when you work at his job working the same shifts or when were not i.e. today and i start crying waking up bc i have to go in alone and be manager which i never fully got trained for and be 1-on-1 with his sister who also works there and who i love but also can be very intense and volatile esp lately bc she started dating this girl whom is ..... kinda a dick ngl so thats obvy stressful. anyways yes avoiding codependency is Hard when thats the morning n he says anything i can do for u? and i half joking say work my shift? n then he does -_- and i feel like i should've just been a big girl. like if i worked a job different than my husband he wouldnt be able to cover my shift, its just the unique workings of This Fucking Place. which im fine with. i think. the walk there is amazing, even if i perpetually smell like fryer oil. fr watch me get mauled by a boar or bear omw home next week cos i smell like a snack walking home thru the woods. whatever at the same time its easy as pie and if i work it right i never have to buy groceries.

[the-necessary-unnecessary]

(Un)friendly reminder that today isn't just about celebrating. It's about demanding, changing, protesting, reclaiming, educating, recognising, organising, fighting, taking up space - for all women.

[nyxire]

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