#if you're too young to have enjoyed the internet in the 00s

[sauronnaise]

Posting this on main (after conversing with @maedhrosrussandol I judged it'd be worth it): some of us are on Dreamwidth! Don't be intimidated by the 'olds'. It's nice to be mid/late twenties like me and feel like a youngster. It's quieter though (not that I mind. And if people want more activity, well, they can create a blog, duh).

Silmarillion Writers' Guild and Stories of Arda are still active. Teitho has posted challenges for 2024 as well.

The Silmarillion fandom is collapsing.

Has anyone else noticed a lot of people leaving the silmarillion just general Tolkien fandom? Especially on tumblr. One of my favourite Silm blogs deleted their whole account and just disappeared. I’m seeing a lot of amazing creators put out their farewell statements. I absolutely don’t blame anyone who is choosing to leave and especially if it’s just because they’re not happy anymore or are moving on to other things. But I’m noticing that a lot of people are being very negative and some creators have explicitly stated that this has impacted them leaving and losing love and interest for something that once made them so happy because of all the negativity aimed at them. It’s so sad. Also wtf this is a hobby and some people are so demanding with creators like they’re not creating things unpaid and in their free time. Hating on people for what they love and find comfort in or calling them weird for liking and having different takes on certain FICTIONAL characters is disgusting and you’re absolutely the problem if you do that.

To any creators seeing this I just want you to know how much your work is and contribution is appreciated. Especially since it’s not that big of a fandom on here.

[astralartefact]

FFXIV Dawntrail Review Part 1 - Where I tell you if I liked it and also Bingo(?)

This post contains spoilers for all of Dawntrail's Main Story up until the Ending!

Hmm.

I'm a little bit embarrassed to write this. I genuinely didn't expect this. Should I have? No. I was perfectly right to not see this coming.

I really loved Dawntrail. Like. You don't understand.

I don't really rank the FFXIV Expansions (except that Heavensward is last) but Dawntrail might be up there. It's 2:00 am and I will probably delete this when I reread it when I have slept over it, but I might genuinely call this my favorite X.0 so far. (read over it and at least for now i will stand by it) (keep in mind most enjoyed =/= best and "best art" doesn't exist)

I know it won't be popular in the community, I've already known that 30% through and by the many, many posts proudly announcing that they do not like Wuk Lamat it seems like that Dawntrail truly will be Stormblood 2.0 in the eyes of the public - but what can I say, I loved it. I had a fantastic time.

There is a bunch of criticisms I've read that I disagree with. I thought the WoLs place in the story was great. What do you people mean by 'We're not the main character anymore' it has literally always been like this except that usually we don't only have one dedicated Expansion Character that gets this much of a monopoly on screentime (see Ryne) - by which I mean, are you jealous? - but also that isn't 'bad', they're allowed to do that and I liked it. also how do you go through this expansion and arrive at "we weren't the main character" - bro, everybody told us at every corner how happy they are we're here bc without us none of this would remotely work. also they literally teased the key is an azem thing clearly this is build up for something

I liked the pacing, I enjoyed the slowburn build-up of Wuk going through the nuances of her people's individual problems before turning to the actual crisis. I know people are big mad that the MSQ gameplay is mainly just Fetch Quests and Cutscenes - which is something we'll get back to - but tbh I didn't even think it was that bad? I feel like we had expansions that were far worse about it....

I also loved Wuk Lamat! I liked that she grew relatively quickly and continouosly, aside from the Seasickness Joke they repeated too often, and I was surprised how much genuinely smart and thought through things she added to the conversation. One example I remember is her bringing up that she would rather learn and fix why people are committing crimes in the first place instead of just 'adding police' - without anybody prompting her to learn that. I don't know, I just really appreciated that.

I even liked Bakool Ja Ja, there I said it. I knew people would be really mad about Wuk just forgiving him and his dad especially after the kind of stuff they did - the internet has become really weird about forgiveness the past few years especially if it's "unearned" whatever that means - but like, you guys know this is a story, right, he didn't threaten to murder someone in real life. Immersion is good and all, but you know you're playing FF14, right, a game that's 50% a Saturday Morning Cartoon, 50% Game of Thrones for a Young Adult Audience. also it's kind of necessary for the theme of the whole narrative for him to do something we 'hate' him for more than the others - and i guess i would agree that they could have written the details around it better - but what's there is there for a reason. if you want to know more that's what Part 2 is going to be for.

Which brings me back to the Fetch Quests. Listen, I'm not really defending anything here, I do agree that the MSQ gameplay could probably be a little more engaging - There's just a thing I thought that keeps coming up in other contexts too:

At which point does this become a "Consumer Problem" instead of a "Developer Problem"?

We're five expansions in. If all expansions before have been structurally exactly like this, at which point is it your problem for expecting it to be different. What I mean is, if you played four parts of a Visual Novel and then you play part 5 and complain that the gameplay is getting stale, I hope we can agree that, like, that's a you problem. If you don't want to read then why are you playing a Visual Novel.

Again, I'm not really trying to 'defend' the core issue - even Serialized Mediums, for all the security their regularity brings them, should mix it up a little sometimes and expressing that want as an audience member is completely fine with me - but I feel like this is also at least a little bit a perspective issue. Like. I'm so sorry to tell you that this is just the game you're playing. This probably won't change and it's probably better to not expect it to for your own sake - and yes, I'm so sorry but to some degree navigating your experience of this game is your own responsibility. What I'm saying is Skip Dialogue if you're bored. Farm a Dungeon. Are you guys not doing Fates on your way to a quest marker? I keep seeing people say 'I didn't fight against a single monster as part of the msq' - Well, That wasn't a problem I had, I fought constantly! There are monsters right there for you to fight! Like. Make your own fun!

Anyways, time to look at my bingo card!

(My WoL = Happened, Krile = Depending on who you ask, Sphene = Jury is still out) Certainly better than my Endwalker one!!

One thing I noticed while playing Dawntrail is how bitter exactly Myths of the Realm has made me about this game and i'm so sad!! Like, how did I forget how completely this game is made specifically for me. I will just fail to not like it, because I get it and it gets me. at least until 8.0 when whoever wrote Myths of the Realm gets to write the expansion

Let's go through the noteable ones.

ill-advised azem lore drop - is in hot water, because they did seem to imply that the novelty wine glass of shard travel has to do with azem.

someone sundered knows more than us - krile's parents count and also Gagool Ja Ja's party too to some extent

the forgotten people went to tural - for two seconds!!! technically correct!!!

questionable armor design choices - some of the second dye slots. choices were made.

somebody "important" (but not too important) dies - i didn't expect them to write meaningful side character deaths, but they did so... i guess on a technicality i win?

the twelfth shard is involved // they talk about sundering meta physics

this room. they're so mean. they talk about the silly masks but not about the fact that apparently whatever shard this is either has three moons or two other planets in its solar system. you knew what you were doing q_q

y:da did it better - hahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I AM A FOOL! MEGUMI ONOZUKA! I KNOW THIS WAS YOUR DOING AND YOU CANNOT HIDE ANY LONGER! YOU ARE NOW ON MY LIST OF NAMES TO SHOUT!!!! If my theory in Part 2 turns out incorrect then I'm so sorry about this, buT IF I'M NOT THEN---!!!!

Shaaloani did not win me over - it being the padding zone really didn't help.

Erenville did not Outfit Change - but given the ending he's probably going to at some point. And I hope he stays around :)

who needs eternal life anyways - They tried to be a little bit more understanding about it and make it a "it's just not worth what it costs" sort of thing, but they did still say at least once - verbatim! - that "Eternal Life is Bad, Full Stop, you people suck and are failing the human game by not dying"

Something Actually Unexpected Happens - I was surprised by the Final Zone. Maybe it's not Actually Unexpected because in a way it's just "Amaurot meets What Myths of the Realm should have been" - but if that doesn't count I still didn't expect the devs to fully ugly down that zone when you're done with it lol. Shutting down the first one and realizing they didn't just mean it would be left empty, it's dead and fully without music physically hurt and it made going through the other three hurt so much more. I loved it. Like. Wow.

I guess to that, I was indeed reminded of Myths of the Realm - but not in the way I intended this square to be so I didn't mark it. Like. I wrote this in another post but how were these two in development at the same time???? What??? They come to radically different conclusions on the exact same premise and the only difference is that one is about Religion and the other about Eternal Life????

Was the last zone the original draft for Myths of the Realm and then they were like 'no that's too good, let's do that in the MSQ instead' and then they panicked and produced godly waste?? God, I kind of hope, that would mean that whoever wrote it didn't wholeheartedly mean what they wrote.

I'm not willing to let Wuk Lamat Distaste be Asinine Community Reaction - sadly that was to be expected given how people still fervently hate Lyse. Similarly I haven't looked into what funny theme changing English Localization Moment they decided to add to the plot today. Btw German Localization, you are as always my heroes. Don't let the Haters tell you different, I will always love you!!! I wanted to screenshot your names in the credits for this but i HIT THE WRONG BUTTON SOMEHOW

Anyways, look forward to Part 2 where I will talk some more about why exactly I really like Dawntrail - which is mainly the Themes - about why I think Megumi Onozuka is to blame and about YORHA DARK APOCALYPSE, THAT'S RIGHT, I WILL NEVER BE FREE

[lediz-watches]

Mom Can't Cook: A DCOM Podcast

It's a podcast. You don't 'watch' a podcast. I appreciate that. I'm still going to rant about it because I just finished another listen-through and, much like the hosts themselves, simply must talk about how I have spent many hours of my life recently.

So if you have never heard of Mom Can't Cook, the short version is two grown-ass men watching and recapping Disney Channel Original Movies from the late 90s-mid 00s.

But what it really is, is this:

Friends, there will be a time in your life as a consumer of media in which you start consuming a media that you KNOW is going to be bad. Maybe you loved it when you were younger, maybe you couldn't be bothered reaching for the remote, maybe you're just that bored, maybe a friend or a family member or a child you're babysitting is making you sit through it, but the point is, you consume the media. And it's as bad as you thought it would be. It annoys you. You hate it. You want to throw things at it. But you keep sitting through it. You can't stop. You must continue to consume it until there is nothing more to consume. You are, you realise with dawning horror, a little bit in love with this thing. You have spent hundreds of hours and possibly actual money on a thing that you knew, objectively and academically, was absolutely terrible. And yet. And yet.

You enjoyed yourself.

And you must confess your sins.

That's what this podcast is about.

It's actually Luke Westaway and Andy Farrant, two British internet personalities ostensibly employed in games journalism, recapping Disney Channel Original Movies from the late 90s-mid-00s. During lockdown, they spent Friday nights watching these movies together (I suspect in lieu of going to the pub), and now they simply have to talk about them because DCOMs are the kind of insane fever dream you simply must talk about and they are slaves to the grind internet personalities who try to make content out of everything.

I love it for a number of reasons:

Luke and Andy are very fun to listen to in general. They are very good at playing off each other, building on each other's ideas, getting increasingly ridiculous and yet somehow never managing to reach the heights of a Disney Channel Original Movie from the late 90s-mid 00s. At least, they haven't yet (Ninji from Oxtra Mario Golf came close, but that was technically Mike's fault). I think they consider it a challenge.

Andy in particular has these beautiful turns of phrase that perfectly encapsulate the feeling of an adult watching the kind of insanity that seems perfectly reasonable to a kid watching a kids' movie but, twenty years later and as the wrong audience, can only be described as mildly traumatising.

Luke is wonderful at just... embodying the part of you that gets swept up in the madness, knows you're getting swept up in the madness, tries desperately to hold on to sanity, and then can only take solace in the fact that maybe it won't be so bad to go insane because hey, it's kind of fun here...

By the time the Disney Channel reached my country, I was too old (/too young) to be watching most of it, so while I may have seen ads for them, I never saw these movies. And now, I'm too infected with Cultural Studies to get through them without dissecting their context and what they're saying and why and ugh... Listening to the recaps allow me to experience them without actually having to watch them.

Regardless of how they actually feel about it, Mom Can't Cook always feels to me like a bit of a love letter to a guilty pleasure. The DCOMs are bad, and Luke and Andy will go into detail about how bad they are, but it had this thread of affection to it that I adore. Maybe it was lockdown, maybe it was just time spent with friends, who knows, but they got something very important out of these terrible movies, and they're passing that on to their listeners (Honestly we should be compensated for this trauma). But jokes aside, this podcast is actually representative of why I love fandom, and being online, despite what a terrible place I find it most of the time. It's representative of why I occasionally post to this blog. I love talking about the things I consume. Whether they're good or bad, they speak to something in me, and I want to talk back! So it's... indulgent and wonderful, and I love it. And I love this podcast for speaking to that part of me.

I intended to write short reviews on spotify, but I listen on my laptop and spotify doesn't have that functionality on PC for some reason. And by the time I was confident enough to rant like this I couldn't remember individual episodes well enough to go back and do it on my phone. So it will be a next-time thing.

But in the meantime, I must share the lines that now live rent-free in my head:

"With the unearned confidence of a Marnie". I desperately need this down the leg of some workout leggings, and yet for some reason it isn't even Tshirt merch. No one will understand why, but I need it on workout gear specifically.

"But why did they give up their hands?" I bought this shirt, and I'm going to buy it again because I bought two sizes too big for reasons that I swear made sense at the time. It makes me grin every time I look at it.

"But there was simply no time/budget." I think this is more about Luke's delivery whenever he says it, but I love it. As a person who works in projects and actually does need to live with the consequences of terrible compromises fairly often, it also speaks to my soul.

"And I hate him." Again, it's in the delivery. Mom's got a date with a vampire remains one of my favourite episodes at least partly because of this one (two? Three? I don't remember how often it got said) line.

"Because [insert noun here] is good, actually." Whether sarcastic or not. It's just a turn of phrase that now exists in my head.

I just... I don't know what the hosts intended, but what I hear is the incredible affection for this waste of their Friday nights. For stupid, terrible, insane entertainment that we watch and consume and struggle to comprehend and yet which entertains us. And I love that so much.

Because entertainment is so important, and so wonderful, even when it's objectively terrible or just plain nonsensical, because it - ack. I'm just getting way too philosophical about what entertainment is and how we respond to it, so I'm just gonna leave this one here.

Mom Can't Cook is a good podcast. I'm so happy it exists.

[rosyjuly]

hi rosy! i've been wanting to get back into reading actual books instead of fic because i used to read so much and now i kind of don't anymore. and i was wondering if you have any good book recs or books that have stood out to you in the past months/years? i'm pretty much up for anything and you seem like a really good person to ask 🫶

hiya anon! thanks for the question -- i used to be an avid reader basically up to uni, and then stopped reading for pleasure because of my assigned readings. and then when i picked up books in my free time, it was always something related to my studies to #advance my knowledge and at that point it was honestly dreadful. so don't make the same mistake: start whatever genre you like most! is it fantasy? romance? thriller? stick to that genre for the first few books that you'll read!

thinking of the most fun books i read the past years, one of the first books i got lost in once i finally had some free time for my actual hobbies was The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. it was really big around in the late 00-s but i was too young for it back then and then just never got around it (have no idea whether the movie is good), and the two sequels are also incredible. if you haven't read the Hunger Games trilogy, the books were sooooo well written and so much better than the films! i also absolutely loved Neil Gaiman's American Gods and also Nevermore (i actually liked both more than Good Omens). i just finished this week She Who Became The Sun and it was incredible! if you like something more melancholy, Swimming In The Dark was amazing, and if you're looking for something dark, dystopian then i can deffo recommend the Handmaid's Tale, and also the entire Arch of a Scythe series by Neal Shusterman. and if you want to start reading poetry, then my go-to would be Devotions or American Primitive by Mary Oliver :)

also if you're like me -- you might find that your attention span is worse than it used to be when you read a lot, and you'll start worrying whether you'll be able to get lost in books again. the answer is yes! not to sound like a boomer but screens and the tiktokification of the internet is indeed ruining our concentration, but it will totally get better with time. so be patient with yourself, try to get rid of distractions, and enjoy yourself!

[hotdamnmadison]

Thoughts While Up North 🙂and more updates...

How did everybody enjoy that blog post from last night? I'm sure it was slightly eye opening to some - and if you're still here after learning those things about me - I appreciate you <3 ...

I attempted to journal a bit from my notes app while I was up North over the weekend. It didn't go well lol. I was horrifically inconsistent. But I told myself I'd post this any way along with a few landscape photos. I hope you guys enjoy. I had a blast.

10/1/22 10:00 am Saturday 

Fuck it’s cold up here. Last night was almost a disaster - arrived too late to check in, too late to buy firewood, and too late to SEE! Setting up the tent was tough but I managed. And if I hadn’t brought a propane heater along well - I might’ve looked like Jack Nicholson at the end of the shining. Managed to get a fire going despite using super wet wood from the forest. It had been a crazy first few hours. Even so, I wouldn’t trade being up here right now for anything in the world. Sure - it’s not as sexy as the things I usually post - and it’s probably not what you came to this blog to look at.  But this place is beautiful. The leaves are changing red and orange. The smell of fall and campfire smoke fill my lungs. Delicious. A flask of whiskey and a few cold beers made the trip as well. Perfection. I’m so glad to be here - having a break from my world back home. Up here I get to decompress and unwind. And it feels amazing…. So I’ll take the cold. It doesn’t bother me any. It’s important to get away from the world of sex, porn, social media, television, blah blah blah…. And get back to the basics…. You don’t necessarily have to travel all the way up here. But seriously, treat yourself to a break in nature every once in a while. 

6:00 pm Saturday

Whew what a hike. 3900 feet of elevation and a gorgeous view from the top. Not to sound cliché, but it really is breathtaking… photos don’t do it justice. You had to be there. It’s like I said this morning… please go treat yourself to nature and break away from the screen for a while. You’ll be glad you did. There is a such a versatile group of hikers on there trails - young and old. You can do it too. 

So what am I doing now? Enjoying a little drink in the camp showers, and yes I’m journaling at the same time. Getting my lushes little body all clean for a night at a local brewery. Maybe a hot stud will show up well I’m in here. ;) I’ll admit - the urge to touch myself while thinking about some company is definitely on my mind. But I’m a good girl. I made this trip without the cage, and without the plugs and dildo. No play time for me ;)

9:40 AM Sunday

Campsite is torn down and I’m loading up to head home. Always a bit bittersweet to be honest. Part of me wants to stay - and live out my days up north with no internet service and outside distractions. The other part of me is tired, and needs a legit bed to sleep in haha. But hey - they always say if you get too much of a good thing you’ll start to find a way to dislike or hate it. So maybe leaving is a good thing. Maybe I should leave these trips as special rewards for myself. It will make them that much more special every time I get to go.

6:00 PM Sunday 

Home. And boy am I sore and tired too of course. I’ve somehow dragged myself along enough (with the help of some coffee) to get some laundry going. The worst part of these trips is the cleanup process. And then putting it all away afterwards. I cannot express how badly I don’t want to go to work tomorrow… someone come save me lol.

---

And now for today - Tuesday October 4th. I'm settled nicely back into work and while I do miss the hiking, the nature, and the campfire smoke - I am glad to be home again. I am especially glad to be back because there is so much I want to do and accomplish - both in my vanilla life and my NSFW side.

Obviously the next thing on my agenda is tackling some coding for my camgirl pages... oh, and finding time to actually BE a camgirl again. A handful of you have told me that you think I can pull it off - and I have faith in myself that I can too with enough work.

I also want to start selling my erotic short stories and novels to potential buyers - this could even include commission pieces with made up characters of the customers choosing. I'm still figuring out how to put that in place. But that is definitely a goal of mine by the end of the year. Just sell ONE piece to someone.

And then of course - there is a lot to get done in my life that you folks will never really see. Hobbies at home, house work, prepping for what appears to be another harsh winter, and finding other creative ways to get my bills paid. Oh and squeezing in some time to decompress and have fun as well.

There's a lot to juggle there, but I ask that you're all patient with me while I find a way to make it all work. :)

Anyway! I am headed out for the day. Thanks for taking the time this morning.

Ashley <3