#if you're in a discord server with me there's a good chance you've seen me ramble about it before

[dimonds456-but-only-hlvrai]

gonna upload the last one later. i need to go tf to bed for now. see y'all later

Uh, as a preview, it's ATSV :)

[albywritesfiction]

ATE Devlog #9

Hello everyone!

After The End Chapter 1 Part 3 is finally here! In this part, you will:

get back home just in time to be reunited with someone you haven't seen in 3 months

talk to this certain someone about Prince Ædric's proposition

decide on which route to go through: the Sovereign route or the Heir route

ALSO!!! This update comes with a new codex tab that has entries for some of the main characters of the story WITH CHARACTER ART!!!!

THAT'S RIGHT, WE'VE GOT OFFICIAL COMMISSIONED ART PEOPLE

LOOK AT HOW AMAZING THE ART IS

ALL BY MY GOOD FRIEND @obsolete-stars-if GO CHECK OUT HIS IF!!!

I AM VERY NORMAL ABOUT THIS

*ahem ahem*

With this update, I'd also like to mention that if you guys enjoy what I write and you'd like to support me, I've set up a Ko-fi! It has some membership tiers set up in addition to the option for one-time donations, but their main benefits are early access to both future chapters and extra content, so don't worry about missing any content if you're not that keen on it or if you'd like to but are financially unable to!

Once again, constructive feedback is more than welcome and any coding or grammatical errors may be reported either in the comments section of the game or through sending an ask here.

Thank you for giving ATE a chance and I hope you all enjoy!

P.S. Join the Discord server! ^_^

Play it here:

[moonfromearth]

~ Happy Simblr Gratitude Day! ~

I didn't realize how much I had to say thank you for until I started working on this post. It's all probably going to be incredibly cheesy but in the few years I've been on here there have been so many things that I'm grateful for. When I joined a whole two years ago now (wow it went so fast!) I was incredibly lonely, shy, and very socially anxious. Despite still being all of those things being here has introduced me to a whole community that was more kind and caring than I could have ever hoped to find 😊

Soooo on to some shout outs...

To Many of the Simblrs I've Loved Before: To call out as many people as I can making awesome content... @oswanily, @resurrectonomitron, @p1x1e-simsm, @pixelnrd, @bastardtrait, @servegrilledcheese, @sojutrait, @gloomlet, @saltybluffs, @sonicblooms, @simmingonthelow, @papiermaker, @wildmelon, @rebouks, @neighborhoodstories, @seokolat, @heartblobs, @deathbypufferfish, @simelune, @d4isywhims, @carousel-of-sims, @lovecidik, @noeyinthemist, @windslar, @dreamlandiasims, @buglaur, @thebramblewood, @aheathen-conceivably, @loveryss, @druidberries, @kashisun, @rainymoodlet, @sasaofastora, @come-hell-or-high-water, @panicsimss, and @simsandgiggles. You're all so amazing! 🥰

To the Sims Groups: I joined several Discord servers this year and I'm not very good at it, and I'll try to be more active next year, but I've appreciated the communities you've built and I got to find a lot of new blogs and awesome people because of it, so thank you @nexility-sims @thewoodslegacy @300yearschallenge @simstrashkingdom @crownsofesha @lynzishell @sirianasims @salemssimblr @simlishpiadina and @buttertrait.

To Some of my First Followers: I've never gotten a chance to thank some of the people who've been following my posts since the beginning. You made me want to keep creating while also being talented creators yourselves! I'll never forget seeing that such talented people thought my posts were worthy of liking, so thank you @lalunebleue @akitasimblr and @minty-plumbob for always being here.

To Everyone Who Interacted with My Blog In Any Way: Thank you for every ask, like, comment, reblog, everything. Even if it was only on one post it made me incredibly happy and I'm so grateful you took the time to look at my sims. 😊

I'm sure I forgot some people (and tumblr limited my tags so I ran out of room), so, to anyone I forgot/didn't get to mention, thank you so so much and to anyone who might not have gotten a mention today you are beloved as well and your presence in the community is still seen.

I'd also like to give a final thank you to @armoricaroyalty for setting up Simblr Gratitude day! It's been such a wholesome day so thank you and know that you're amazing as well~!

I could say so much more about everyone I mentioned but it's already gotten really long 😅. Know that you're all so insanely talented and I'll never not feel lucky to be a part of this community.

Thank you~ ❤️

[king-of-wrath]

This may come-off as mean, but that isn't my intention for posting this. I've seen people talk about this a couple times earlier this year, but after seeing come up again, I'm going to respond to it

I understand that people can feel left-out when big dash events happen---in part because the more popular blogs and canon character blogs are involved in these events---and that not being invited can make people think that they aren't "good enough". I feel the same way whenever I reblog a popular ask meme, then receive no asks while other blogs are answering 3-4 asks within the same hour

But here's the thing: there is no super-secret Discord server of elitist assholes sending invitations to only a select group of people. There is no ritual initiation to get an invite or be considered for the next event. There is no list of "good" or "bad" blogs to determine who gets invited There is no unwritten rule saying that you can't join an event unless you've been personally invited by the top organizer. The blogs involved aren't restricted to only posting about what's happening in the event, nor are they forbidden from interacting with people outside the event You won't immediately get blacklisted by The Shadow CouncilTM of the Helluva/Hazbin RPC if you ask to join an event, even if it's already in progress. There is no limit on how many events you can take part in and there is no rule saying you can't be in two events at the same time

I am not ignoring you in favor of participating in an event. I am not judging you as "lesser" than me because you aren't in the event, neither do I judge you for being a single-character blog or a multi-muse blog or for having OCs. You can ask me for an invite if you want to join an event I'm in and you can ask me what's happening in the event beforehand

I am not going to crawl out of your screen like The Ring ghost and strangle you to death if you send me an ask or DM me about anything during an event. I don't receive invites for every event that happens and because I'm not online 24/7 or following every single blog, I don't see the open sign-up posts or announcements for some events or know who to ask for an invite

Your worth as a RPer isn't determined by how many events you participate in. Your writing skills and the depth of your character(s) aren't "graded" according to who you RP with or what events you participate in and they don't determine your eligibility for any event

The problem isn't that you "aren't worthy" or that "nobody likes you". That is never the case with anything Tumblr or RP-related. Sometimes, it's by pure chance that you're online and following a specific blog exactly when an event post gets posted/shared by them

But at the same time, thinking so little of yourself isn't going to help motivate you to RP or find you more people to RP with. It never does

[sky-squido]

🎯😅✨? owo

oooh storytime!!

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

hmmmmm.... i used to care more about Plot Twists and Misdirection than i do now (you guys are NEVER going to guess what happens in Hey Four, Wanna Kill A Dragon With Me? >:3) but i do have one funny anecdote to share.

SPOILERS FOR TO ISOLATE SPOILERS FOR ONE OF THE BIGGEST IF NOT THE BIGGEST REVEALS IN A 170K WORD SKY-CENTRIC FIC OKAY IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT ONE DAY POSSIBLY EVER READ THIS FIC, PLEASE SKIP DOWN TO THE NEXT QUESTION

interestingly enough, i can't really think of a particular ao3 comment that stood out as an "Oh Frick They're Onto Me." a lot of prediction/theory comments had enough wrong mixed in with the right that it didn't quite feel like they'd Cracked The Code or anything.

there is one exception.

it kind of shows, but the early chapters of To Isolate were actually livewritten on the LU Discord (i'm choosing to interpret the dramatic decrease in quality (that, evidence suggests, i am the only person intensely bothered by) as a *checks notes* meta-textual allegory for the chaotic, unfocused, disorganized, unclear way in which Sky is viewing the world given all the stuff he's dealing with.)

okay, anyway, i looked high and low for that livewrite—chances are it was on a side server i'm not in anymore—but basically this was REALLY EARLY ON, like chapter one or two, maybe, and it was at a bit where sky was just describing the behavior of whoever's cycle it was and someone on the discord was like "does X character think they're going to die or something??" and i was like O_O; kind of freaking out internally because FRICK if it's that easy to guess the big secret only 5k words in, the rest of this fic is about to get real hard to write real fast. fortunately, that person either forgot about or discarded that theory and nobody else ever brought it up again :D eventually we got to the point where emotionally-charged plot developments were happening interspersed with so much of the new information that people's desire to theorize seems to be overwhelmed by their desire to KEEP READING and then the sheer volume of sky's own theorizing and hypothesizing kind of unconsciously forces the reader down the same lines of reasoning as him and we manage to avoid poking massive holes in the story! woo!!! (massive props to poltea for helping orchestrate everything gosh she is so good at this—it's kind of terrifying! (yeah, to people who are scared of me because of to isolate, it's poltea you should really be scared of. she's the one in charge of the villain—i just write the boys))

anyway, yeah! none of my other fics rely on mystery and suspense quite like To Isolate, so i'm not quite so caught off guard when people see stuff coming in those fics than i am when they do in To Isolate.

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

oh jeez, only EVERYTHING i wrote in 2020.

okay, no, that's not the case. i reread What Hyrule Hadn't Seen recently to check something for a friend and i've looked back at some other stuff, too. they really hold up quite well, there's just... moments. gah, some of these little bits make me want to rewrite the entire fic or re-release an Updated Version with the lines and scenes edited out. there's little stuff like Legend saying some token bitter comment about the Goddess just because That's How Legend Gets Written often and i was newer to the fandom and didn't have the experience to say okay FIRST legend doesn't even know who hylia IS and SECOND, this isn't even her FAULT like she's NOT omnipotent and she needed like THREE contingencies to take down demise and was canonically injured in the fight and reincarnated herself so she could use the triforce, which is farore, din, and nayru's so she's literally canonically the weakest named goddess in the pantheon and THIRDLY i don't even think it makes sense for legend to be that bitter about his adventures—or at least if he is, i don't feel comfortable writing him that way without actually addressing why he feels that way and exploring it more. *ahem.*

other than little places where the boys feel blatantly out of character in hindsight, there's just. augh, there's paragraphs with too many adverbs and just rows of consecutive dialogue tags and yes, i know that that means my writing's getting better and that the original writing isn't necessarily bad and don't worry i'm not gonna delete or re-release anything. i just can't read some of it without cringing to death.

like—okay, my first fic, Turn Back Time. i haven't read this fic in its entirety in a VERY long time. i've tried, but i can't make it very far (i understand that this is on some people's list of favorite fics and there's nothing wrong with that! i loved it to death and was SO PROUD OF IT when i first finished it and i don't begrudge anyone for feeling that way about it now). let's just see how far i make it on this reread before i crawl under my desk.

augh, i'm one paragraph in and it's SO CLEAR this was a string of discord messages before it was a fic and i didn't go back and touch up the beginning when i realized i was Actually going to write it. other than little stylistic things that grate on my nerves and didn't used to, i don't really like writing the colors as four separate trains of thought running in four's head. it's The Way Four's Written, often, and as a new member of the fandom, i followed the trend but in hindsight, i just... no shade to people who write four with all the internal dialogue—i've read some of your stuff and absolutely love it—i've just never been able to handle it in a way i'm particularly happy with in my own writing.

like, these scenes aren't bad. they're not as good as my newer stuff, but i don't think they're bad. the stuff that grates on my nerves is the stuff that i know i wrote a certain way, not because i wanted to write it that way, but because i was just unthinkingly following the standard. i'm trying to think of analogy to describe the way i feel about this writing but i honestly can't. it's just—the problem isn't that i think it's bad (though a decently sized part of me does), it's that it's not me. it's that it's not how i would have written that character or that scene if i'd thought about it more. but i wasn't thinking, i was having fun, and that's totally within my rights. i just. i'm kind of embarrassed to have that under my name because it doesn't really feel like it's mine, like it's an accurate representation of what i feel or think. (don't worry, i'm not going to orphan anything).

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

aww, this is a really nice question to put after the last one <3

truth be told, i honestly really like my writing, for the most part. i'll sometimes go and reread my own fics and gasp like "I DID NOT DO THAT!!! OH MY GOODNESS I DID. HOW DARE I????" like,,, i have a really REALLY bad memory and so there are entire bits of my own fics that i've completely forgotten about and then i go back and reread and i'm blindsided by them like it's my first time reading it even though I WROTE IT. it's an experience, to be sure.

so... yeah! i like my writing! i like the way ideas fit together and the way character dynamics unfold and the way things tend to resolve. i like the way most of it still feels right, even months or years later, like yes, yes i wrote that and i'll write it again if i have to because that's exactly right. i dunno, writing is fun and it makes me happy and, evidence suggests, it makes other people happy, too. it's the highest praise i can give to say that something i made is making the world a little brighter, and i like to think my writing is doing that (even despite all the darkness it has to drag the characters through to make that happen)

anyway!!! thank you so much for the questions and have a lovely, restful rest of your weekend!!

[smeraldos]

Love by Daylight (1/2)

➸ characters: Seokjin x Reader

➸ genres: Sailor Moon!AU, fluff, sort of e2l

➸ tags: sly friends, petty enemies/secret crushes, running away from the mortifying ordeal of being known

➸ words: 2K+

➸ summary: The day you find out who your suave partner in saving the world is, you're absolutely, positively, without a doubt sure you'll be over the moon. You'll be so happy you'll think you're dreaming. Turns out you're right. You do think you're dreaming. Because this? This can't be real. You're being pranked. Someone, somewhere, is going to jump out and say you're on Candid Camera. (Please.)

>> PART 2

When the lights fade and the facades fall, this is what you’re left with: Tuxedo Mask without a mask, you without your moonlit glamor. Tux the civilian is handsome, you can tell, and this is it—the moment you’ve been waiting for.

He lifts his face.

The youma's words come rushing back: Let the truth be known, the city’s deepest secrets shown.

Tuxedo Mask is none other than Kim Seokjin.

Suddenly, you’re reminded of a crystalline city; people bowing before you; Seokjin taking your hand, your matching rings gleaming in the light. Was it a memory or a dream?

You stand there, dumbfounded, until Tux/Seokjin dons his mask and brushes past. “Come on, Sailor Moon,” he says, sensible enough to use your alias. “The coast is clear. We’ve got a fight to finish.”

☾

“Why does it have to be Seokjin?" You whine, collapsing into bed and disturbing your sleeping cat. (In your defense, he was on your pillow. Which you’ve told him numerous times not to lay down on because his fur would shed.) Luckily, Agust is acquainted with your dramatic side and simply gets up to move.

“Well, why do you have to be Sailor Moon?” He points out. “It could have been someone less bothersome.”

“Hey,” you retaliate. “You’re the one who came to me. You could have given anyone the Lunar Key.”

“I didn't have a choice.”

“What do you mean you didn’t? You could have walked away and picked someone better, just like that.”

He scoffs. “Not when it’s the Queen.”

“Queen-schmeen." You flop back onto your bed, the springs creaking in protest. "I bet Her Royal Highness is on her throne right now, all nice and comfy. She couldn't care less."

Agust doesn't reply.

At first, you think it's because you've won and nothing else can be said, but when the silence stretches on, you know something is off. You sit up to see Agust no longer curled into himself, but sitting. He stares out your window into the night, his normally keen eyes empty. "She's dead."

Judging by his somber tone, she'd meant a lot to him. "I'm sorry," you whisper.

Agust sighs. "No need to apologize, kid. She was your mother, after all."

"My mother?"

"Not now," he amends. "But she was a long time ago, when you were the princess of the moon and Seokjin the prince of the earth.”

☾

The next morning, you head to school on time.

Your mom—present day mom—was surprised to see you up early, and Jeongguk called you out like the bratty brother he was (wow, no morning run today?), but the truth was you couldn’t sleep.

Last night, Agust recounted your past, how the dark eclipsed the moon. Although the queen tried her best to protect the kingdom, it was to no avail. Seokjin died in the fray, and you fell shortly after, helpless to save your beloved. In the end, the queen sacrificed herself to give you and Seokjin another chance at love, her people another chance at happiness.

A chance to rebuild the Silver Millennium.

The thing was, you didn’t know if that was what you wanted. Not that you’d want the Dark Kingdom to reign, but you weren’t sure whether you wanted to rule in your mother’s stead. Or marry Seokjin. Past you might have wanted to, but the you now could barely stand him. And neither could he. Or so you thought. You’d gotten along just fine with Tuxedo Mask, even grown a crush, but that wasn’t enough to warrant a marriage.

“Hello? Veen to Selene*?” Someone nudges your shoulder, and with a start, you notice Mina looking at you in concern.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“Nothing yet, but it looks like you’ve got something on your mind. What’s up?”

You’re about to tell her when you see Seokjin approaching, his uniform blazer neatly pressed.

“Morning, ______,” Seokjin says. “Mina.”

“Morning,” you reply, ready for whatever biting remark he’d say next. But once Namjoon comes up, he leaves. That's it.

Even Mina, who hardly sees the two of you interact, notices. "That's the first time I've seen you guys polite. It's weird. What happened?"

After a discreet look around, you grab her by the elbow. “He's Tux,” you hiss, but Mina doesn’t look the least bit shocked. Her face breaks out into a giddy grin, like a child who’s finally tall enough to get on the big kid ride.

“You knew?” You ask, a little hurt she didn’t tell you.

She pouts, squishing your cheeks together. “Don’t be mad. You don't know how hard it was to keep it a secret.”

◑

You don't blame Mina, for the most part. It would have been better if you hadn’t known who Tuxedo Mask was, and vice versa. You felt like Cinderella running away from the ball, her beautiful dress giving way to rags and ratty shoes. If the prince caught up to her then, she’d probably be humiliated.

Just like you are now.

Tuxedo Mask has seen you at your most embarrassing moments, fighting to have the last word (or milkshake) as Seokjin, and also at your best, saving civilians with grace. You've only wanted him to see the best of you, for him to think of you as the perfect wonder-girl heroine everyone else saw you as, but he's seen almost every side. You don't know what he sees in you now, if anything. And frankly, you don't want to know.

"Have you ever thought that maybe he's thinking what you're thinking?" Mina asks. "You've seen all the good and bad in him, too."

"But it's different when he doesn't have a crush on Sailor Moon!" You say, exasperated.

"Oh, I wouldn’t be sure about that if I were you."

Seokjin thinking of your alter ego that way is embarrassing, but considering he's also Tuxedo Mask...now your face is red, you can feel it. Red as roses in bloom. "You're joking, right?"

"Why don't you wait and see," Mina replies, as cryptically as when she was Sailor V and you hadn't known any better. Having sympathy for you, she gives you a warm smile. "Don't stress out too much, Moon. You're amazing either way. Just talk to him."

◑

You think there's some reconnaissance to sort out first. When you walked into Crown Arcade and saw Seokjin talking to Jimin pretty intently, you didn’t want to interrupt...okay, who were you kidding? You chickened out.

But Jimin is his best friend, so he'll know how Seokjin feels the most, right? It's the next best alternative to actually speaking to Seokjin, which, well, you aren't ready for. Case in point: you've done the impossible and made yourself scarce. You aren’t about to break your streak now.

So the instant Seokjin leaves, you walk up to the counter. Jimin looks up from sprinkling a milkshake. "Hey. The usual?"

"Yeah, just double on the chocolate."

"You got it," he says, passing the drinks he finished making to a server. You watch him blend milk into ice cream, then reach over for a new cup to pour the mixture into later. It's all done with practiced ease, and you marvel at how quick he is, not to mention how beautiful the finished milkshake looks after. The chocolate is perfect, the whipped cream a cloud of snow drizzled with dark syrup.

Jimin slides it over with a grin. "Mademoiselle."

"Why, thank you," you say, digging in with gusto. This is exactly what "stressed is desserts spelled backwards," meant: Jimin's milkshakes never fail to kick your worries down a notch.

"Good?" He asks.

"Mhm," you mumble, more to your milkshake than to him, when the thought that you haven't paid yet crosses your mind. Oh gosh. You pull your purse onto your lap, but Jimin chuckles, stopping you.

"I've got it covered. Besides, I heard you weren't yourself lately."

"Really?"

He shrugs. "From the way you're devouring that, it's kind of hard to believe…"

You take an extra large mouthful to prove his point.

"But you only lay on the chocolate when you're bummed," he finishes, and you’d protest if you hadn’t made it a habit to drown your sorrows in his milkshakes. They were just too good to resist. Not to mention Jimin is a great listener. Your girls, although you love them, aren't always the best. You'd catch the moment they crossed over from attentive to "Is she done yet?" but with Jimin, you've never had that issue. Turns out you have a different one.

"I hate how perceptive you are."

He laughs. "You're just predictable."

"You know what? You can take back your milkshake and go back to work," you say in a fit of grumpiness, pushing the glass back to him.

"Are you sure you want me to do that?"

You meet him eye to eye. After a minute—a long, impressive minute might you add—you take it back. "Fine. What do you want to hear?"

"Anything you want to tell me. And if it's something you can't share, please tell someone you can. It's not great to keep things bottled up, trust me."

You sigh.

"Here's the deal," you begin, feeling a little weird telling your old crush about your new one, but marching through nevertheless, "I met someone on...online. He's nice and funny and understands me even though he's different. I just click with him, and eventually, I want to tell him I like him. The thing is, I don't really know who he is. We've been chatting on Discord and his profile picture is Tuxedo Mask, but he can't be Tuxedo Mask. Or maybe he is, who knows?"

Jimin laughs. If only he knew.

"Anywho," you continue, "I meet him and find out he's someone I actually know...but he's a pest. He always gets on my nerves and it's like he's a completely different person! I don't even know how that's possible, but apparently it is and it's just so frustrating."

Jimin doesn't speak for a while, which is fine by you. You take the time to jam spoonfuls of chocolate and cream into your mouth.

"You know," he finally says, amused, "that sounds a little like the plot to You've Got Mail."

"That isn't funny.” You huff. “Joe Fox was a jerk and I don't know why they played him off as charming."

"Isn't that what you think of the guy?"

"I never said he was a jerk."

"But you said he was a pest."

"That isn't the s—" You pull at your hair. "Ugh. I don't know anymore."

"Did you talk to him?"

"And what? Spill my complicated feelings?"

"No, just talk to him. You don't have to confess right now. Just air out the laundry and see where you guys are at. Chances are, if you're confused, then he's confused, too, and there's no way either of you can get out of it without talking to each other."

"I can't talk to him, Jimin. I avoided him for three weeks! He's going to hate me."

"He isn't," Jimin says firmly, and you wish you could have the same conviction. "Sure, he'll be upset, but if he's really someone who cares, he'll listen. Look, during that time you avoided him, did he try to reach out?"

"Well, I told him I didn't want to talk and he stopped asking."

"So he'll listen. If it turns out he hates you, give him a piece of your mind and I'll give you triple chocolate milkshakes on the house."

When he puts it like that, talking to Seokjin doesn't seem as dreadful. "You're not just saying that?"

"Have I ever said something I didn't mean?"

You get your answer when someone comes trudging in, holding up a bag from your go-to fast food joint. "Jimin! You better be grateful I drove all the way downtown to get you these burgers. Since when did you like ______'s favorite, anyways?"

"Since now," your traitor of a friend says. You glare at him, which he conveniently ignores.

"You're the best," he tells a surprised Seokjin, leaving with a pat on his shoulder. "Enjoy your meal!"

>> NEXT

...

note:

*Venus to Selene, like "Earth to [insert name]?" but replace Earth with Venus and [name] with Selene, Greek goddess of the moon

[simonalkenmayer]

i've admittedly never been very close with you, having very few one-one-one convos with you, but i always looked up to you and found the cryptid concept compelling, and at first i was on your side after reading your post about everything on the discord happenings, as well as on many past similar issues. but tbh at some point the number of people you've been close with on here who have all come forward with their concerns about who you are in private spaces becomes impossible to ignore. i know you can find metadata or whatever, but i'm on anon only because i myself am uncomfortable with behavior i've seen from your followers - regardless of how much fault you are at for that behavior. obviously, you may or may not choose to publish this, which is your prerogative, and for the record i don't think you're leading a cult, but i do think you either underestimated or revel in the power of mass suggestion online, and while i was initially sad to hear the experiment was ending because i did quite like your posts, i'm now realizing it's probably for the best.

I am going to publish this, because I’m not a coward.and it gives me a chance to make some very pointed remarks.

Everyone on here gets a glimmer of something and thinks they know a person. You patch together an image from bits and pieces. And that’s the model of me you hold in your head. That model is glued together with your fears and past experiences. It’s stuck together with what you think you will see. Bias. The truth is, that I exist outside of you and your thoughts on me, and you cannot possibly see everything or everyone.

I know things about the situations at hand that you do not. Very important things, about the people involved, their state of mind, their actions they won’t admit to or report. I know their pasts, their stresses. Why do I know these things? Because they trusted me with them. How did they do that? They saw I was true to my word and actions. So even if it is to defend myself, I am not going to discuss these things.

I know who I am. I know the person I am.

Who am I in private? You should come find out. There are hundreds of people who chat with me, some for a long while. My discord had 150 members when I deleted it. And it was mine to delete. People delete things all the time. Chat rooms and blogs especially. So before you quote these “numbers of people who’ve come forward”, perhaps you ought to ask why they were so angry I deleted it. If I am so bad in private...if it is such a cult...why then would they all attack me with insults for deleting it.

This is what I said when I did so:

I deleted the server because it was turning onto a place no one wanted to be.

And they were made angry by it. It had nothing to do with me. They wanted their space. And the only raised point when I did so, was that I did it too soon for anyone to friend each other. A laughable argument.

Does that post read as compromised to you? So why then was the first strategy to go to each and every person who was close to me, and lie to them that I was? Why was there a campaign of misinformation used to manipulate my other friends to then come and push me and manipulate me?

No, this was not a cult. The discord was meant to be a place for anyone to come and be treated fairly, until they proved they couldn’t get along. It was meant to be fair. It was meant to be good, and it was in many ways. No this was not a cult worshiping me. It was rather the other way around. I spent time and energy on them, treated them with respect, deferred to their judgement, gave them control of all but one thing. Gave them their private spaces despite my misgivings. And yet when I finally refused to comply, they all went into a flurry of activity to ostracize me. That’s how a cult treats a dissident, not its leader.

Then they went and immediately, despite their protestations, rebuilt the same chat room. I won’t speak to what kind of a space it is, but I do know that several members were ejected because they wouldn’t be unkind to me. So the toxic space was remade and now is even more toxic, because there is no one there doing what I did, which was to be kind as much as possible, and settle disputes in a compromise.

You think I’m manipulating people?

Consider instead, that I’m perhaps too open and polite and trusting, and that I make friends badly because of it. There are many people who have talked with me privately with no trouble. There are several who have who then make leaps of reason I don’t understand.

And then there are other things I won’t discuss.

People piece things together with scraps and random pieces. They don’t have any of the details. They see what they want to see, what they fear to see. They look for a monster, because of the word. They look for a scam because of the ambiguity. But this would be completely unsustainable in any way for as long as it has, if I was the villain you insinuate.

In private I am polite. I ask questions. I give compliments. I share jokes. I applaud successes. I commiserate. I listen. And when someone is cruel I shut them down. And when they are abusive, I do the same. All other disputes are settled calmly with compromise. That was the problem you see. I Compromised too much.

Let me ask yoi something, since were here. Do you, anonymous one, have a blog devoted to finding fault with your actions. If you did, how long would you last before you deleted your blog? If every day an anonymous person came to yoi claiming to know your intimate details but providing no evidence of any truth, just rumor, how much would you take before you buckled? How long does it take to hate someone, before all you see is that hate, and all they can do is be worthy of it. You don’t know me. You don’t know these people. You don’t know what has been said over countless hours of Communication.

You see some formal diction and a little rhetoric and all the ambiguity I present and you put that together with some disgruntled people, and you say that makes a picture you can’t bear. Then don’t. No one asked you to. I have never once in all my time on timblr pushed an anon button. Not once. Because I don’t go to people and think I know their life. I don’t go to their blog and presume I see all.

I don’t give a damn about your metadata. I don’t give a damn about where you are. I don’t use my tracker in these circumstances.

And if you don’t like the behaviors of my readers, please educate them. Tell them how they should behave. If it meets with the approval of the masses of tumblr judges, then I’d be happy to ask it of them. I have always asked them not to defend me. I cannot stop them if they do. But perhaps you can. so please tell them how they ought to act, and I will ask that they comply.

I’ll end with this: whether or not I am what I say I am, I have been here for five years under this kind of constant scrutiny and “critique”. So some things you ought to see proven about me: I’m patient, I’m steadfast, and I am unimpressed by most petty things.