#if you thought I was insane over them before wait til you see this

[blues824]

Hello! I hope you are doing well! I love your writing 💜 If you don't mind could you do a soulmate mc with Malleus and Leona? (Separately) Sorry if that doesn't make any sense lol If you have too many other requests or you feel overwhelmed don't pay this any attention.

Take breaks and stay hydrated!

Gender-neutral reader. I used the Seeing Color AU, where you can’t see colors until you see your soulmate.

Leona Kingscholar

For the longest time, Leona could not see color. He didn’t really care, as he didn’t believe he was missing out on anything. However, if you asked him when he was a young cub, he would respond with a sheer amount of excitement upon the probability of meeting his soulmate and seeing color before his brother did.

That didn’t happen, as Falena saw his soulmate and saw colors that he had tried (and failed) to describe to his younger brother. It honestly made Leona mad that his brother beat him at something once again, and he would be the second to do something again. He was happy for his brother, but insanely jealous at this amazing and legendary feat. 

After 20 years passed and not an ounce of color aside from the monochrome greyscale, the lion lost all hope. He would roll his eyes whenever someone from his dorm came back and exclaimed about the many different colors that they were now able to see. Good for them, but there was no need to shout out to the world that you found your soulmate.

Eventually, it got to be too much. Ruggie was telling him about how he hoped to meet his soulmate, and Leona just stomped off in anger and annoyance. He didn’t need to hear this ‘true love’ bullshit that he��s been hearing for his entire life up to this point. So, he went to the botanical gardens to take a nap and forget about it all. 

Unfortunately, his nap didn’t last too long, as some incompetent fool decided to step on and trip over his tail. He was understandably angry, as he could be snoozing right now. However, upon opening his eyes and meeting the gaze of the offender… he let out a grunt of surprise upon being attacked with the colors surrounding him.

You had a look of surprise that matched his, and you both just stared at each other in shock. It wasn’t until Grim asked what the hold-up was where you broke eye contact, and he just pulled the leg of your pants to get you to continue moving. You looked back at your… soulmate… and apologized for stepping on his tail before you kept moving.

Leona’s only thought after that interaction was, “Oh, shit…”

Malleus Draconia

No matter what, he always held up hope that he would someday meet his soulmate. Ever since he was a young hatchling, both his grandmother and Lilia would tell him about their soulmates when they were still alive, and they would assure him that he would meet his own one day. Even 178 years later and no color, he still had hope. One might call him a hopeless romantic.

It did make him feel a bit of comfort that his retainers (aside from Lilia, as mentioned before) had also not met their soulmates, even if it is a bit selfish of him to think that. Each night, he would roam around the NRC campus, looking at the moon and wondering if his soulmate was staring at the same moon.

Where were you? He would travel to the moon himself if it meant that you were there, waiting for him. For his entire life, he has been alone, being trained to be the next reigning monarch of the Briar Valley. He no longer wanted to be lonely, and he now wanted someone that he could love and cherish, ‘til death do they part.

All around him, his classmates were finding their soulmates, and he felt happy for them. It just gave him more and more hope that he would be able to find his soon. Until then, he would still look at the moon whenever he went to explore Ramshackle. He let out a sigh as he was about to head back to his own dorm, but then he heard someone’s voice asking to identify himself.

He turned around, meeting your gaze, and suddenly your surroundings were filled with color. Gasps made their way out of both your mouths as you just looked around, taking in the new visuals and trying to adjust to it. Then, after a few moments, you both returned to staring at each other. He had such a loving and joyful gaze, as he had dreamed of this moment for so long.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t accept your invitation when you asked him to come in, as he still had to return to his dormitory, but he had hearts and stars in his eyes. He asked you to call him what you desired, and your silly nickname that you created for him just repeated itself in his mind as he started the trek back to Diasomnia.

“So, the Child of Man is my soulmate…”

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

I saw a video of a little boy (no older than 4) who was fussing with his mom over her telling him to go to bed. His father walked up behind him, and the moment the little boy looked at him, his body language became fearful, and he immediately got into bed and shut his eyes. I have a lot of thoughts about the comments under this video. They were all about how fathers are needed and all that stuff. What strikes me is the way that this boy did not care enough to listen to his mother, but obeyed his father before his dad even spoke a word. He literally took one look at his dad and climbed into bed. No fussing or nothing. He actually deadass stopped crying in an instant whereas he was in HYSTERICS with his mother. One comment was "the scariest thing you can hear as a kid is 'wait til your father gets home'" and there's something so fucked up about that. Why do children fear the prospect of their father so much that their mother, who is standing right in front of them and who they could just as easily be afraid of, thinks that the best way to get them to listen is "wait til your father gets here". That's insane. All this shows me is that children do not take their mother seriously. The boy in the aforementioned video was barely more than a toddler and he ALREADY sees his mother as someone to argue with while his father deserves unquestioned authority. Don't get me started on how making your kids scared of you isn't the best thing either. It's just wild how everytime someone says "dads are needed", what they really mean is "there needs to be someone around for kids to listen to because it's certain not going to be their mom!" or "children need someone around who is going to be mean and harsh with them." it's just so fucked up.

[trashmouth-richie]

𝔩𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥: 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔟𝔢𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔤

𓆙 crazy! lilith! reader x eddie

𓆙 same au as this that will now be referred to as the lilith au

𓆙 summary: the beginning of how eddie met lilith. based on this ask from @serasvictoria “Loved Lilith crazy reader (so good!) and I’d like to read about the moment where Eddie first went “fuck, I’m into this.”” hope i did you proud 🥹💋 i like to think eddie met her and couldn’t stop thinking about her.

𓆙 tw: 18 + only, smut p in v unprotected, violence, blood, demon themes, soul mates connecting. nicknames, weed, drinking mentioned. both eddie and reader are over 18. Billy makes an appearance 🙄

𓆙 3.9k words

The bar stunk like it always did. BO seeping out from the uniforms of the guys fresh from their shift at the plant mixed with spilled keg beer. The stench wafted through the dank air creating a reeking stench that was custom for the Hideout, keeping the well lined pockets of Hawkins rich away from the hole-in-the-wall bar. 

Eddie was in a mood tonight, and his friends could feel it. By nature, he was accustomed to breaking up fights with the drunks, offering whatever asshole with a clenched fist a joint if they would just leave it be. The Hideout was like a home to him, and he hated any sort of disturbance to the small peace the shitty bar had to offer. 

But tonight? He didn’t know he would be the one to start a fight, especially not after seeing you walk through the front doors. 

He had seen you there before. Always dressed like you deserved to be somewhere better, somewhere that didn’t smell like armpits and unwashed balls. Lips painted in a deep color but from the shitty lighting he never could tell if it was purple or black. 

He watched from a distance as you shrugged off one piss drunk guy after another, each leaving with their tails tucked between their legs, muttering shit like crazy bitch, she’s fucking insane did’ya hear what she said to me? Eddie stood by and laughed, admiring the mysterious girl who wouldn’t give anyone a chance. 

Setting up equipment last week Eddie’s eyes were trained on the time, having it down to a science on when you’d show up, and there you were. Rolling your eyes to the catcalls from the old timers and going straight to the bar, a glinted smile on your lips as you purred your order, one he had already memorized from watching you show up week after week. Eddie leaned back and hollered to Jeff, asking if he knew who you were. 

Jeff said what he thought your name was, claiming you worked with his sister at the Hideaway, the diner that served beer and home style food, you were a senior maybe? But neither of them had seen you around before. 

You were a mystery to him, and he was hooked. He looked for you in classes, down the orange and green brick painted hallways. Fuck, he even went to the Hideaway but could never find you there. It was almost as if you only existed in his dreams or at the Hideout. 

Corroded Coffin wasn’t performing tonight, instead the four guys leaned over the sticky table in the back corner, their table, tossing quarters into a shot glass and shooting the shit. Well three of the four were having a good time, the other was quiet, brooding behind dark eyes. 

You had walked in like you always did, 10 o’clock on the dot, only this time you weren’t alone. 

Billy Hargrove? Really? 

Eddie couldn’t help but roll his eyes, how fucking cliche could you be? Finding the first swinging dick in Hawkins with a loud car and immediately going on a date with him. Eddie was disgusted, but more so, jealous. 

Hours ticked by, and beer after beer, one gut rot shot after another, Eddie’s jealousy brewed into pure hatred. His dark eyes bored into you, but you didn’t even notice. 

He hated you. Hated your stupid smile, the way you kept giggling at Billy’s jokes. just wait til you see him naked, sweetheart, the laughing won’t stop there, he thought to himself. 

Loathing the way your black painted nails curled into Billy’s denim jacket, no doubt he probably fed you a line about how he works out. Eddie’s eyes roll back again and he breathes heavily through his nose, sucking the last shot of whiskey through his teeth, letting the bitter taste melt on his tongue and burn with each fiery drop down his throat. 

Trying to keep himself busy, he finds himself flicking open his switchblade, pressing the top of the blade into the black leather cushion, wishing it was Billy’s neck instead. He can’t hear what anyone is saying behind him, didn’t even notice that Gareth was talking about learning a new song. His full attention was on you. 

Billy gets up from his bar stool, the noise from the drag of the legs on the floor scratches against Eddie’s skin, adding insult to injury. He shoots you a wink and makes his way to the back towards the bathroom. 

Watching him disappear into the dark lit corner, Eddie stands on wobblier legs than he would have liked. Boots heavy and clunky as he stalks his way over to you. Not at all knowing what he was going to do or say, going on pure adrenaline. 

Your perfume hits him first, a warm note of vanilla mixed with a tobacco hint of camels. The red top you’re wearing is cut low, showcasing your pretty neck and plunging deep into the cleavage of your tits. A black leather jacket sits on your shoulders, the zippers shining with the warm light. 

Your eyelashes bat at him as he approaches your table, but you still don’t look his way, and he stands next to you like he’s known you for years, drawn to you like a moth to a flame. 

“I’ll take another one of these,” you say, pushing your empty glass towards him with your middle finger, “make it a strong one.” 

“I don’t work here,” Eddie scoffs, moving your drink out of his way and placing an arm on the back of your chair, glaring down at you “but you already knew that.” 

The air shifts when you look up at him, it’s heavier, thicker than peanut butter, and you almost choke at the way his Adam's apple bobs in his throat. 

“What makes you think I would know that?” 

Eddie shifts, the liquor on his breath is spicy and warm. 

“Because I've seen you here before, and not once have you ordered a drink from me.” 

A wicked grin coaxes its way to your lips and you cross your legs, the toe of your high heel touching Eddie’s knee, and you lean your elbow on the table closer into him. 

“Stalking me big boy?” 

“And if I was?” his voice is low, the ends of his hair sway as he dips into your space, eyes never leaving yours, making sure he was all you could see as he whispers, “something tells me you wouldn’t mind that.”

The toe of your shoe grazes his inner thigh and the tip of something hard, making the corner of your lip tease up as you pluck the stem of the cherry from your empty drink. Bringing it to your mouth, you never stop looking into his eyes, and his haven’t left yours either. 

The flesh of the cherry breached your lips and you lick the bottom of it, humming at the taste of the grenadine and sour whiskey on your tongue, finally biting the cherry, you toss the stem behind you. Chewing softly on the sugary fruit and leaning back, Eddie’s eyes taking you in. 

His ringed hand crawls up your stocking clad thigh, circling your soft skin, rubbing at the hem of your skirt. 

“am I right, sweetheart?” 

He doesn’t need you to say he’s correct because he already knows, your eyes speak for you, a dark glint to them, dripping with want, and he wouldn’t doubt if you were to open your legs that your panties would wet with a sweet heat he desperately needed to taste. 

“You’re pretty cocky for a guy who’s been staring at me for months but has never said a word until tonight.” 

It's Eddie's turn for silence when your pretty nails reach out to trace the handcuffs on his belt, shifting your legs so the left is now crossed over the right, each taking more and more from one another waiting for the first to break. 

“Why tonight? hmm?” your nails rubbing against the metal and leather, thumb grazing his zippered crotch, getting a devil hint of what he has hiding beneath. “Didn’t like seeing me with someone else? Already putting your claim on me, huh?” 

He didn’t need to answer because you already knew. 

The first time you laid eyes on him he was playing the solo to Master of Puppets, the cold air seeped into your bones from your walk from the Hideaway, and you needed a drink after your shitty shift.

Your eyes met and it was instant, a primal heat that drew you in and kept you coming back, waiting impatiently. Watching from afar calculating his moves, the way he held himself so confidently, his lithe muscles rippling when carrying band equipment from the stage. The way his throat vibrated when he sang, the quick jerk of his fingers as they strummed each key. How sweaty his hair would get after his set, shit you were infatuated. 

He dips low to you again, a hand landing on your hip, sending shivers to your spine. 

“You’re lost, sweetheart.” 

Confused, you look up at him, quirking an eyebrow, challenging him, “lost?” 

His fingers squeeze gently at your hip, his other hand moving your chin so you can look at him directly, his thumb moving over your bottom lip, pulling it down and almost groaning as it pops back into place against your teeth, “yeah, you’re supposed to be with me.” 

“Well well, if it isn’t the freak caught with his hands in the cookie jar.” 

Neither of you look at Billy, the heat between you still strong, sweltering. 

“Hargrove,” Eddie greets, eyes never leaving yours, “thanks man.” 

Billy shoots you a look, fists clenched, “for what?” 

Eddie stands up straight, hands leaving you to retreat into his jacket pocket, angling his shoulders back, “bringing my girl to me, seriously, I owe you.” 

Billy smirks and chuckles, “your girl huh?” 

“I didn’t stutter.” 

Eddie dogged the first swing, ducking and jabbing a brass knuckled fist into Billy’s stomach, sending him backwards into a table behind him, peanuts and beer spray up across the bar.  

Stalking towards Billy, the shine of Eddie’s brass knuckles gleam against his fist, matching the shine of the wink he shoots you, and he’s caught off guard when you re-cross your legs and lick your top lip, hooded eyelids flashing him a sinful look of lust. 

He chuckles at the sight of you, how you’re not afraid of him, how you didn’t run, the way you look like you’re almost enjoying this. Fuck.

Billy’s boot kicks Eddie square in the jaw, blooding up his bottom lip, sending him tumbling back a few steps, giving Billy the upper hand. 

Neither of them expect what comes next. Eddie didn’t notice you get up, planting your heels on the ground and grabbing the bar stool by the legs. He only heard the thud of Billy falling to the ground and the crack of splintered wood teetering across the ground, the remaining pieces of the stool tossed to your feet. 

Heels echoing across the floor, you tiptoe around the wood kneeling down to grab Billy’s blond hair between your fingers, twisting as his head raises from the floor. 

“Date’s over,” your voice is sweet with each word, almost pleasant in the delivery, “understand?” 

“Fucking crazy bitch,” Billy spits. 

The whip of a knife whizzes past your ear, catching on the meat of Billy’s hand, nailing him to the floor. 

Billy gasps and grunts mumbling shit under his breath. 

Turning your head you look up at the dark haired metalhead. His eyes are darker than they were all night, a twitch formed in one of his eyelids. The blood dripping from his chin was sticky against his pale skin. To anyone else in the bar he looked deranged, like a demon straight from hell here in a human form, but to you? He looked like a God, a fucking King. 

The look in his eyes caused a pool to form between your legs, the black veil of iniquity clouded your vision, a certain wickedness emitted from him and you were drawn to it like a magnet.

He stomps to both you and Billy, bending down he reaches a hand over your back, grabbing ahold of your hip, making you stand up with him. 

“Wrong answer.” Eddie grunts, his boot shoving the blade in further. 

He’s taller than you expected him to be, his broad shoulders are rolled back and he peers down at you, a dimpled smirk on his lips. 

Standing on tiptoes, you reach up to his face. His strong jaw ripples between clenched teeth under your fingers. Rubbing the cut on his bottom lip with your thumb, he doesn’t flinch, only breathes heavy when you smear the blood around, and pop it into your mouth. The devil’s smile on your lips as you hum around your thumb, the acidic burnt taste of his blood on your tongue.

He groans, squeezing your hips in his big hands, bringing you into him, his stiff cock pressed heavy against your middle. 

“Wanna get outta here?” your fingers walk up against his chest, fingernails scratching down until they land on his belt, lightly yanking the leather towards you.

“Your place or mine?” His voice is low, hungry. 

“I’m not picky.” 

“didn’t think you were, c’mon sweetheart.” 

Eddie grabs your hand and drags you through the front door, your laugh fills the night air, taking away any chill from it, your bodies serving as heaters.  He opens the drivers door of his van and you get in climbing over the center console. 

He climbs in behind you, almost choking when you throw a leg back over and sit firmly in his lap. 

“Fuck.” 

Your fingers work to the collar of his shirt, ripping it down the center, showing off his pretty porcelain skin etched with scrawls of a demon-like face and a black widow on his chest, heaving as he tries not to blow his load right there and then. 

Eyes rake over him, followed by the scratch of your nails, he hisses and groans as your lips attach to his neck, licking sweet and warm under his ear, “about time you talked to me..” 

Your hips move against him, his hands burning into the fabric of your skirt and lifting slightly, thumbs searing into your thighs, “looks like you just needed to get jealous, hmm?” 

Eddie’s hands work your jacket from your shoulders, groaning as the neon light from the bar hits you, illuminating the delicate skin of your shoulders, and the tight strap from your bra, he moans and yanks you forward, hands full on your breasts as his fingers roll against your nipples. His lips perched to the column of your throat. Your moans filling the van when his tongue salves across your throat, working a hickey into your neck, “that’s what I thought big boy, mmm, you’re easy to read.”

His dick kicks up when the pad of his thumb hits a steel ball on either side of your nipples, and he bites hard into your neck, causing you to yelp and moan, enjoying the pleasured pain. 

“course I was jealous,” Eddie groans against your skin, working his tongue along his teeth marks, “fuckin’ look at you, goddamn devil woman.” 

Your hand works to his jaw, wrapping closed around his throat and shoving him back hard into the seat. Nose to nose with him, your tongue darting out to catch the flesh of his lip, whispering hot against his mouth as you press your wet cunt down into him, “you like that? The evil inside of me?” 

His hand wraps around your throat, large rings cutting into your skin, pressing hard against the bite he put into your neck. Eyes rolling to white you hum a moan so pretty against his hand his dick kicks up again, straining beneath the denim. 

He brings you close to him, lips ghosting over your own, “Like isn’t the right word.” 

His lips crash into yours, a mix of blood, spit and clashing teeth. It’s primal, the way your mouths work together, licking, sucking, lapping at one another, hungry for more. 

Your hands move feverishly against his belt, and his fingers waist no time shoving your skirt up higher, showing off the sheen from your pussy lips, slick and bare, no panties. 

He groans when his fingers push past your puffy lips and circle your clit, trying to suck him in where you need him most. 

“Fuck,” he chuckles, “you’re fucking soaked, Eddie get you all worked up?” 

“Is that your name?” you quip, working his velvet thick cock from his jeans, spitting on the tip and rubbing it around with your thumb, you wrap your fingers around his shaft pumping him once, “looked more like a Diablo,” your hand works him again, “Lucifer…” you push his head through your slick folds, sinking down enough that the head of his cock disappears, “.. or daddy to me.” 

Eddie rolls his eyes back into his head, biting his fist, and moaning loud, “fuck, you’re gonna kill me.” 

You tut between your teeth, “not tonight, tonight you’re mine.” 

Your full weight drops down onto his cock and you sigh a moan the same time Eddie groans and squeezes his eyes shut, and you take a second to catch your breath before you adjust yourself so you can circle your hips. your nails press into his chest again, leaving scarlet marks in your wake, his skin pulled from itself and under your fingers, and he can’t get enough, 

The buckles on your bra straps are plucked like dandelion heads against the cup, threads frayed under Eddie's hands as your tits bounce from their confinements, pretty piercings glinting in the neon lights. 

“Tell me,” you groan, your own hands pushing your tits together and biting your lip from the pure ecstasy that’s laced into Eddie’s cock, “tell me how good this is.” 

“Fuck look at you, taking me so fuckin’ deep.” his thumb circles your clit as his hips buck up into you, eliciting more pretty moans that rattle the windows in the van, matching his grunts and sweat-stuck bangs. “should have, mm yeah shit just like that, fuck! don’t stop, scooped you up the first night I saw you.” 

He wasn’t like the other lame dicks in Hawkins, this one seemed different, better. You knew from the moment you saw him that he could keep up with you, wouldn’t be turned away from your demon lust or the darkness that permeated through your skin. Just as Billy had said, this guy was a freak. Like you. 

Eddie lifts you up and turns, slamming you into the seat so your face is pressed against the warm leather, ass angled up, pussy split open and weeping from his cock. 

He works his dick between your folds, relishing in the way you try to suck him in greedily, chuckling as you pout and scowl when he teases you some more. 

“what’s the matter pretty girl? You don’t like being teased?” 

“no,” you whine as he does it again, laughing at your eager pussy and desperate cries. A hand lands hard on the fat of your ass and you jump under his hand, moaning and pushing yourself back into him, “more, fuck, please.”

That’s all Eddie needed to hear before he’s deep inside you again, your gummy walls clenching around him as he bottoms out, His large hand printed on your skin. “fuck you’re nasty, such a dirty slut aren’t ya?” 

“yes, fuck.” your tongue licks the leather seat, eyes looking back to see the blackness cloud Eddie’s eyes and for a split second you swore there were horns on his head. 

He pumps into you faster, met by your hand circling your clit, he leans forward to suck into your shoulder blade, licking up the back of your neck, whispering into your ear as his hips jack knife into you, “come for me, fuckin’ come for daddy.” 

Wet floods your fingers and heat coils in your belly as your orgasm spreads, the back of Eddie’s seat has moon shaped indents on the left side as you claw into it, moaning against it. 

His fingers are grabbing you hard enough it will leave bruises on your hips, he grunts into you, working you through your leg shaking high. “Did so good for me, yeah you like this cock? gripping me like a fuckin’ vice honey, ’m gonna come, where you want me?” 

You twist beneath him, facing him to see his sweaty chest, hair sticking to his neck in places, dark eyes gleaming in a lust infused state of bliss, fat cock red and swollen. The demon of your dreams. 

The makeup on your eyes were smudged from sweat and your face grinding into the seat, you lick your lips and eye the pre cum on his cock, your slick soaking his length, coating the course hair at the base. “I wanna know how we taste.” 

Eddie groans, grabbing your waist roughly and adjusting you both carelessly to the back, shoulders knocking into the seats and whatever other bullshit was tossed into the void. 

He kisses you harsh, fingers tweezed around your nipple piercing, groaning at your little moans as you bite his split lip and shove him onto his back. Peering down at him with soulless eyes you work your way down his body, tangling yourself in between his legs, you wrap your lips around his fat length. 

The heady taste of your arousal and the brine of his precum mix on your tongue, marrying into a profound taste that could only be described as heaven and hell. 

His hips wiggle beneath you, desperate for more of your mouth, you giggle before swallowing him into your throat in one single move, working your hands up and down his shaft, in tandem with your swirling tongue. 

Groans replace your desperate moans from earlier, lewd sounds streak up the fogged fucked windows of the van, and it’s not long before Eddie is spilling into your mouth, muttering nonsense. 

You suck him clean, and he hisses at your wicked tongue lapping around him. 

“Fuck Lilith,” Eddie groans, sleepy little smile on his lips as he pulls you into his sweaty chest, skin to skin, “you’re out of this world.” 

You quirk a brow and push his bangs back from his forehead, “that’s not my name, Eddie.” 

“it should be,” he grins down at you, moving your neck to plant a kiss behind your ear, “it’s a variation of the Mother goddess of all demons… and after what we just did, fuck.” he grunts, squeezing your bare thigh and hoisting you higher up to him, “satan himself couldn’t tear you away from me.” 

A wicked grin paints your lips, and you surprise yourself when you push them into Eddie’s, fingers wrapped tight around his neck. 

Eddie was wrong, you weren’t lost, just missing a piece to your puzzle, needing someone to delve into the darkest part of your mind, to be enthused by your antics, applauding your wickedness. and that someone, was found at a smelly dive bar. Him. 

Ave Satani

pls enjoy another story in the same au here

♡tag list: @dashingdeb16 @emxxblog @mopeymopeymouse @pretendthisnameisclever @mommybaby-witch @eddies-acousticguitar @tlclick73 @figmentofquinn @eddies-stinky-battle-jacket @whenshelanded @micheledawn1975 @3rd-conchord * @leelei1980 @mopeymopeymouse @browneyes8288 @emilyslutface @mmunson86 @josephquinnsfreckles @eddiesxangel @elegantkoalapaper * @str4ngergirlw0rld * @corrodedcoffincumslut @nailbatanddungeon @katethetank @munsons-mayhem28 * @mandyjo8719 @joannamuns9n @littlebookworm86 @hunnybuns-world @feyremunson

+ a few lovely moots: @taintedcigs @eiightysixbaby @prettyboyeddiemunson @succubusmunson @eddieschains @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @littledemondani

[fangirlforlife97]

ACOTAR's Rant That's Been Long Overdue!!!! BEWARE AND MY BAD, ITS A LONG ONE.

I won't lie it's been a long while since I've read the books and I still haven't read ACOSF yet (or if I even will?!) But over the years I've changed my opinion on alot of things concerning the books and fan pairings, etc. And lately I've had the urge to re look over ACOTAR content on tumblr and I finally decided to make this post. One I've been meaning to for awhile!

I want to start out by saying that I absolutely loved "A Court of Thorns and Roses" and Feylin, I finished that book in one night. I couldn't wait to read more of their story and learn more of this world SJM had created. Went into the series before it exploded on Tik - Tok or wherever so I went in without spoilers. Like I said I was looking forward to reading more but I also simultaneously had a sneaking suspicion that SJM was gonna try to give Feyre a new love interest and it did not sit well with me at all!! I kept saying or thinking things like "she better not give Feyre a new love interest" "she better not mess up Feylin", and that's exactly what she did!!

She "villainzed" or tried to anyways, Tamlin. I'm not gonna lie I got really irritated, and even though it wasn't Tam's fault how things played out I was kind of upset with him. I never hated him though and even though I hated the idea of a new love interest - with time I grew to greatly enjoy them. I read all of the books and considered them to be some of my favorite books, I even shipped Elriel hardcore while also shipping Elucien and also lowkey Nessian (before ACOSF). With time I fell into the delusion of Elriel, Nessian, Feysand and The Inner Circle, of the series in general. By the end of ACOWAR though even though I liked Feysand - I was getting kind of tired of reading about them and was looking forward to and wanting a different pairing to take center stage.

Subconsciously at times I think I did realize how toxic and awful Feysand and parts of the Inner Circle was etc, but it didn't register til later on. It's like I glossed over it cause I was sooo "entralled" with the series and character's. I was delulu about alot of things, about my liking for Feysand, my hardcore fangirling over Elriel, etc.

I was the biggest shipper of Elriel, I wanted them together so bad and the idea of them not getting together - I thought it would depress me out. Insane ik. Like before I became a hardcore Elriel shipper I shipped Elucien and was liking and hoping for their endgame until we started getting more Elriel content. Then my love for Elriel overshadowed that of Elucien. I was obsessing about anything relating to Elriel and couldn't wait for any possible clues or interactions in ACOSF pertaining to an Elriel endgame. There was even gonna be a pov from Azriel (he was my favorite batboy) and I was really excited. Then ACOSF came out and so did the spoilers. I hadn't gotten my hands on a book yet but the curiosity was too strong, so I went on tumblr to see what had been posted, etc.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . To say I was shocked was an understatement. It was the fastest death of a love pertaining to a fan pairing and character. I'm a fangirl, fangirling is what I do. I get overenthusiastic about tv shows and movies and bonds between characters. I was so disgusted by Azriel's pov, it was very unexpected. Like yes I imagine there would be some lustful thoughts or whatever but this is the first time we are getting his pov and you give us that! I had a certain idea of how I thought of Elain and Azriel and I loved it and the symbolism etc but what I read or found out totally ruined the idea I had of them. How I thought of them. Even the idea of liking them. Now I sincerely hope they don't end up together and she hopefully gets with Lucien and gets out of the Night court and away from the Inner Circle and Feysand. I've grown to ship and love Elucien the way I did Elriel before Az's pov.

I even really like and love the idea of Tamlin and Elain or Elain x Lucien x Elain. I feel like even though ACOTAR was supposedly a Beauty and The Beast retelling, Elain seems more like Belle to me, in look wise and gentleness anyways. And she would be so good with Tamlin and his healing even though I'm also a hardcore Elucien girly. I'd be so happy with either Elucien, Tamlain or Elucien x Tamlain x Tamlucien (whatever their ship name is!?)

In terms of Nessian. I always liked Nessian, I wasn't super hardcore about them like I was Elriel, Elucien, Feylin but I still really liked them or saw their potential too. But then I started hearing about things pertaining to Nessian and Nesta's character in ACOSF and I even heard things such as them ruining Nesta's character and bowing to Rhys, etc. Like maybe they ruined her character for the sake of Feysand or something?! And even though I already dislike what I'm hearing about Nessian, I still plan to read ACOSF even though it's gonna be a struggle re reading the series with how much I've grown to dislike Feysand, Rhysand, The Inner Circle, Elriel, etc. I almost don't want to re read the series with how annoyed I've grown about them, may take me some time but I will at some point in time. I'm in no rush though but I would be looking forward to re read ACOTAR.

Cassian is a shitty mate from what I've been hearing and that makes me start to dislike him too. Even though I have yet to completely make up my mind about Nessian til after I read ACOSF, Cassian is on thin ice. Not gonna lie though I kind of wish and hope Nessian aren't endgame because of what I've heard, even though I have yet to read ACOSF. I feel like Nesta deserves better and it might be an unpopular opinion but I think Nesta and Tamlin would be an absolutely freaking perfect endgame or pairing!!!!!!!??

Nesta and Tamlin both were given the same completely unfair, ridiculous, disgusting hate or treatment by the author and fandom. They both need healing, and could be the people who heal each other?! Even though Elain gives Belle vibes from her looks and gentleness, she doesn't have the most important Belle factor that Nesta does. NESTA LOVES BOOKS!! Could Nesta be the actual Belle to Tamlin's or ACOTAR Beauty and the Beast Retelling??!!!! Idk but I think Nesta and Tam would be way better than Cassian and Nesta.

I feel like the author has made her batboys too hornified and has sexualized her romantic pairings to the point she's ruining them!! Smut is fine in a book but when it's overdone and it's all a relationship is, it's not a pairing worth rooting for and it's kind of disgusting. I'd rather have a slow burn, cliche, romantic couple or pairing with few smutty scenes than a pairing that's too over sexualized and has multiple, constant, sex scenes. Other possible unpopular opinions:

- Tamlin is 100% more likable and better than Rhysand. Tamlin isn't without his flaws but the double standardization between Tamlin and Rhysand is incredibly unfair and unwarranted. Tamlin gets way too much hate for a character in a series filled with many other/worse flawed characters.

- Tamlin doesn't need a redemption arc, he needs a healing arc. He deserves a happy ending and love too!! I hope his court is replenished and flourishes.

- SJM character assassinated Feyre and others for the sake of Feysand, Rhysand and The Inner Circle.

- The ACOTAR series is filled with inconsistencies, double standards, etc.

- ACOTAR was the best book!!

- The Inner Circle, Batboys, Rhysand, and Feysand is highly overrated.

- Feyre deserves better.

- SJM should backpeddle on the smut and focus on building up of relationships and focusing on the romance. Stop using smut as an excuse for plot!

- Elain, Lucien, and Nesta need to get out of the Night Court and away from the Inner Circle and Feysand. (Feyre should too but that definitely won't happen!) They need their own story plots with story progression that doesn't involve the Night Court, Feysand, and The Inner Circle.

- Nesta and Tamlin should be endgame or an option at the very least. THE POTENTIAL!!!!! 😭❤️✊

- Rhysand is the villain of the series. It would be the greatest twist but also wouldn't be a twist because there's heavy evidence of him being a villian and manipulating those around him.

- Theory that Rhysand has been mind controlling Feyre the whole time!!

- There should be more focus on the other lands and courts.

- An Elucien novel should have nothing to do with the Night Court or Inner Circle or Feysand. I'm so tried of other ships and character's revolving heavily around Feysand, the Inner Circle, and the Night Court. Not everything is about them!!

[cygnus-rex]

We all overanalyze know about Joel’s neck kisses playlists, and he knows we know.

What if Etho had a neck kisses playlist?

For funsies, I made one. I based it off music he said he likes and stuff he’s listened to in the past: Halestorm, The Pretty Reckless, Halocene, Paramore, AViVA, Monstercat.

I also included lyric samples below--enjoy!

“I Get Off” - Halestorm

There's so much left unspoken Between the two of us It's so much more exciting To look when you can't touch You could say I'm different Maybe I'm a freak But I know how to twist you To bring you to your knees I get off on you Getting off on me Give you what you want But nothing is for free It's a give and take Kind of love we make When the line is crossed I get off

"I Want You (She’s So Heavy)" - Halestorm

I want you I want you so bad, babe I want you I want you so bad It's driving me mad It's driving me mad

“Into You” - Halocene

I'm so into you I can barely breathe And all I wanna do Is to fall in deep But close ain't close enough 'Til we cross the line, hey-yeah So name a game to play And I'll role the dice, hey Oh baby, look what you started The temperature's rising in here Is this gonna happen? Been waiting and waiting for you to make a move Before I make a move

“Reckless” - Halocene

You make me so damn reckless You made my life a hurricane You make me so damn reckless I’ve lost all sense of reality And I don’t wanna fight it I invite your insanity

“Fetish” - Halocene

I can’t deny Your appetite You got a fetish for my love I push you out and you come right back Don’t see a point in blaming (you) If I were you I’d do me (too)

“Focus” - Halocene

Focus on me (focus) Focus on me (focus on me) I can tell you're curious It's written on your lips Ain't no need to hold it back Go head and talk your shit I know you're hoping that I'll react I know you're hoping I'm looking back But if my real ain't real enough Then I don't know what is Let's find a light inside our universe now Where ain't nobody keep on holding us down Just come and get it let them say what they say 'Cause I'm about to put them all away

“Break In” - Halocene

Yeah, it's perfectly reckless Damn, you leave me defenseless So break in And take everything I have Till there is nothing left Till it's just your voice in my head And when the lights come on You see me as I am You're still inside me

“Pillowtalk” - Holocene

Yeah, reckless behavior A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw In the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day Lovin’ you, fightin’ on It’s our paradise and it’s our war zone It’s our paradise and it’s our war zone Pillow talk My enemy, my ally

“Mad Love” - The Pretty Reckless

Now there's someone inside me I think it's you Won't let you go, babe Until I am through with Your love […] I am alive when I battle with you You think you amaze me I think that it's true

"You" - The Pretty Reckless

You can't see me, no Like I see you I can't have you, no Like you have me And I want you in my life And I need you in my life

“Crushcrushcrush” - Paramore

I got a lot to say to you Yeah, I got a lot to say I noticed your eyes are always glued to me Keeping them here And it makes no sense at all […] I guess I'm dreaming again Let's be more than this

“Still Into You” - Paramore

I should be over all the butterflies But I'm into you (I'm into you) And baby, even on our worst nights I'm into you (I'm into you) Let 'em wonder how we got this far 'Cause I don't really need to wonder at all Yeah, after all this time, I'm still into you Well, some things just, some things just make sense And one of those is you and I (Hey) Some things just, some things just make sense And even after all this time (Hey)

“Emergency” - Paramore

If you thought I'd leave then you were wrong 'Cause I won't stop holding on So are you listening? So are you watching me? [...] 'Cause I've seen love die Way too many times When it deserved to be alive When it deserved to be alive I've seen you cry Way too many times When you deserved to be alive

"Be Alone" - Paramore

So what if I don't have a lot to talk about? I shut my mouth and keep it locked until it counts And what if I don't ever want to leave my house? Stay on the couch while all my friends are going out Alone You should be alone Yeah, you should be alone You should be alone with me We could be alone Yeah, we could be alone But never get too lonely

"Stop This Song (Lovesick Melody)" - Paramore

The longer that I live with this idea The more I sink in To this 4/4 beat, I'm in time with you, oh-oh, oh-oh To this 4/4 beat, I would die for you (Let's stop this song) I've gone too far to come back from here But you don't have a clue You don't know what you do to me I've come too far to get over you And you don't have a clue You don't know what you do to me […] It creeps in like a spider Can't be killed Although I try and try to Well, don't you see I'm falling? Don't want to love you But I do

"It's Okay It's Alright" - AViVA

You're possibly wondering if things will be alright You know I can't promise but I know we'll both try 'Cause when I look into your eyes they're like the sun And when you smile I feel so warm and so at home

"Wasteland" - AViVA

See you standing right there, right there I couldn't change you, wouldn't change a thing Tonight I'm watching both your bright eyes They're full of danger, full of questioning Your lips, your touch, it always drives me crazy Always drives me crazy It's way too much, with you, it's never maybe You, it's never maybe

"Love and War" - AViVA

Thought that I couldn't be me Without the pieces of you Making it so hard to breathe I still don't know what to do You've cut my heart from me, run from me But I trusted you so Thought that you'd fight with me, fight for me Now I really don't know

"Run Right Back" - ORACLE & Holochrome (Monstercat)

A thousand miles in between us Talk all night, it’s never enough Try my best to believe in love But I’m a mess and you’re the reason

"Thinking 'bout You" - Scarr. & Finding Mero (Monstercat)

[instrumental]

"Calling" - Mango, Cloudcage & Matt Sky (Monstercat)

Yeah, I've been trying hard to breathe Been pushin' down what's underneath It's growin' stronger and I'm gettin' weak It's risin' up and capturin' me […] We were down deep and had no clue Buried down, fallin' far for you Gettin' lost in a starless blue

"Strangers" - ORACLE & Holochrome (Monstercat)

I wonder Anything ever be better than this? I wonder Are you and I more than a passing eclipse? Dance in the sky Sun and the moon I shine in your eyes Looking at you like Shooting stars I'm in your atmosphere Love the way it feels, yeah

"Falling For You" - SABAI, With Løve, & Nevve (Monstercat)

Falling for you Suddenly shakes what I knew Your breaking through, brings me to life This is what it feels like

"All We Needed" - Koven (Monstercat)

All we had and all we lost All in time to speak to us Heaven knows at least that we tried Holding on to little things 'Cause we can't forget the better days Playing on repeat in my mind […] Stop giving to yourself We can have it all again We can have it all again Stop pushing me away We can have it all again We can have it all again

"Waiting" - Kuuro feat. Bianca (Monstercat)

Seek me out, hear me shout "Come get it" Don’t you simmer down, right now Want you acting like you’re in the wild […] Midnight, locked eyes Looking like you got an invite Alright, maybe we should take this outside Skin tight in the moonlight (Oh)

"Dilemma" - Stonebank & Bianca (Monstercat)

But I can see your eyes run down me And all my sense just floats away […] Hey, I'm in a dilemma 'Cause I want your body but I don’t do wrong I'm in a dilemma You've been looking over hеre for far too long, yeah The morе I look in your wicked eyes The more you're leaving me hypnotized No, no, no, I'm in a dilemma (Oh, yeah)

"Horizon" - Odsen & Katrine Stenbekk (Monstercat)

I used to view you as a mountain That I couldn't climb at first But I've only stumbled over diamonds And I no longer fear the worst You were the calm to my storm You could take the wind And though the winter would come Weighing on our shoulders at least the Ice could never break us in

[unhinged-summer-fun]

common grounds (oshamir) - chapter 13

Pairing: Osha Aniseya x Qimir "The Stranger" Warnings: Full speed ahead on fic-typical angst train, choo choo bitchessssssssss

A/N: dividers once again by me

series masterlist

chapter 13: last round

Osha loved her apartment complex. She loved its gym. She loved the gym sauna. And she loved that it was just a little bit too small for her to share it comfortably with Qimir.

Their knees pressed against one another the entire time they steamed, all hot sweaty skin and toned muscles sliding against each other.

Oof. Down, girl.

He had her do breath control in places other than the pool and the gym. The sauna proved most difficult to find any meditative peace, especially when the object of her torment unintentionally whipped her mind and heart into a frenzy whenever he moved too quickly.

So her meditative thoughts weren’t centered on mindfulness and her surroundings—they were centered on the exact spot where his thigh touched hers.

Qimir leaned back against the teak bench and winced, gingerly recoiling from the pain. “Are you alright?” she asked.

Earlier, he had some trouble getting out of the pool. She was aware of what was happening, of course—he’d asked the injured parts of his body to do something simple, and they’d protested violently. It was disconcerting to see the muscles spasming beneath his scars, and it looked incredibly painful.

What was more concerning was the absolutely blank face he made while bearing the pain. His jaw wasn’t even tensed like he was fighting through the it—his mind had gone somewhere else entirely.

At Osha’s concern, that blank mask slammed down like security doors.

“Happens,” was all he said about it, and Osha was about to let it go until his spine spoke up. It gave a few concerningly loud clicks and snaps when he leaned back on the bench, and the sound pulled a grimace out of him. “I just pushed it too hard, too fast today. I’ll feel it for a while, but it typically fades in a few hours. The spasms, I mean.”

Now it was Osha’s turn to control her facial expressions. What an absolutely insane thing to say. It wasn’t like his back issues were a secret between them. There was no way of hiding his scars from her, the way there was no way hiding her scars from him. He’d told her part of the story, but she’d flinched when he described the injury and he’d never brought it up again. There was more she didn’t know—more that added to the reasons he kept himself back from going after Vernestra.

How the fuck do you ask somebody about that?

“If I can, I’d like to help.”

He didn’t take her up on it.

“What happens if someone drops from a fight last minute?” she asked on a different day. She was flicking through a textbook on his couch, and he was foam-rolling his upper back.

“Standby fighters. They’re just as hungry for it as the ones scheduled. Moreso, maybe,” he grunted. “It’s different for me. Idise, too, I guess.”

She wanted to ask so many things at once. “How is it different?”

He gave a breathy laugh, humorless. “The real fight is waiting two weeks for the moon to wane.”

“Do you not talk to Idise?” She’d meant it in a, do you not compare experiences for camaraderie? kind of way. His sharp response caught her off guard.

“Not at the moment.” His teeth bit into consonants like a wolf’s jaws snapping around a neck.

Questions racked up like debts in her head, but his agitation told her to tread carefully. There’s something there, something personal. “What’s the hardest part of waiting? Is it the ‘can’t spar ’til the full moon’ rule?”

He shook his head, bending his knees and rolling a little faster than he had been. “It’s those first minutes after a fight. You need to let the fuck go the moment it’s over. You need to let it go—”

He gasped, face going into that blank numb mask for a half-second before he recovered, gritting his teeth.

“Someone told me you’re supposed to breathe while doing that,” she said, exaggeratedly condescending. She hoped her attempt at levity would succeed. Qimir paused, looking up at her in mild surprise. “Take your own advice,  doctor.”

Her heart raced in the five seconds it took for him to obey. He extended one leg, releasing a slow, controlled breath and re-doing the roll with the slow, continuous pressure he needed. His breath shook as he reached where she assumed his pain was deepest. Then he was past it, groaning in relief, filthy and unrestrained. It didn’t escape her notice that he was baring his neck to her—again.

He set the roller to the side, laying flat on his back with his arms spread wide.

“H-how do you let go?” she continued, watching his belly rise and fall slower and slower as he got his heart rate down. He’d been doing that more and more around her, lately.

“A lot of people just keep busy and focus on recovery—”

“No,” she interrupted. He peeked an eye open at her. “How do you let go?”

He turned his head to look at her, eyes tracing every inch of her curled up on his couch. When he got to her eyes, he hummed, biting his lower lip like he had to roll his thoughts around on his tongue to get the flavor right before he spoke. He rolled up into a sitting position, legs crossed as he leaned back on his palms.

She tried her best to meet his gaze, hitting him with his usual one-brow-raised look. He chuckled, shaking himself out of openly admiring her.

His voice was night-dark and thunder-soft. His eyes matched the sentiment, continuing to wander where they wanted. “Before the fight even starts,” he said slowly, “I think of what I want most, something waiting for me outside the cage. Sometimes it’s a shower. Sometimes it’s a drink. Sometimes it’s…” His eyes flicked back up to hers, hawk-sharp. He smirked, baring his teeth and neck in one. “And then, when the fight is over…” His head tilted to the side, that feral creature he kept leashed showing itself. “I ensure there’s nothing in my way between me and what I want.”

Osha’s tongue wasn’t cooperating. Her mind wasn’t cooperating. How could he just say things like that while looking at her like he was going to eat her alive? Her breath came in shallow pants, and she sure looked wanton and ridiculous.

Before she could do anything stupid the timer for their dinner went off, and they returned to reality.

To humanity, more like.

She’d gotten the job at the bar. Kana trained her after Qimir on the days they came to Unplan. Her shifts in the cafe started to dwindle the closer they got to employee evaluation season—from four full shifts per week to three half-shifts ending in early afternoon. She didn’t inform Sol of her new job, but she’d told Mae not to worry about her half of rent when she asked.

Things with Mae had gotten… better. Comparatively. They still had a lot of issues to work through. Osha didn’t know how Mae could “make up for” two years of deception, but her kitchen-table confession helped a lot. Knowing Mae had the capacity to want to do something in response to Vernestra’s misdeeds helped a lot. Things weren’t perfect, but they were, at the very least, talking to each other again.

Sol was a different story. She didn’t know how to confront him about the new developments in her life—she knew now that Sol had been, at best, peripheral to whatever Qimir had gone through at the Temple. At worst, he’d been directly involved. Osha was frightened of figuring out where he stood in that history. Fortunately, she hadn’t seen him enough to confront him.

The same went for Vernestra. She had been exceptionally absent at the Temple, which wasn’t uncommon during competition season prep. She’d taken Jecki and the other competitors on a road trip to the state Open to get everybody ranked. The road trips were a fact of life to Temple members because of Vernestra’s sensitivity to air travel.

Though Sol and Vernestra’s absences relieved Osha, she still felt uncomfortable in the Temple. Mog had been made acting operations manager while things were in flux. Osha would have expected someone like Indara to take the helm, but despite her quiet confidence and solid decision-making skills, she never seemed to want anything to do with joining Temple leadership.

Osha didn’t dwell too much on it, but she still wanted to do something about Qimir’s situation. Something big enough to stick, big enough to matter. But she didn’t have the whole picture yet, and only that awareness stayed her hand.

“Hey,” her stranger said, interrupting her daydreaming. She blinked her eyes back into focus, frowning a little as she recentered. “Where’d you go?”

“About a hundred miles away,” Osha sighed. She continued doing her warm-ups. “Sorry.”

“Well, if you come down from the stars, I’ve got news for you. We’re sparring today.”

Her jaw dropped. “Sparring?”

“Yeah, ever heard of it?”

Osha’s insecuriity reared its head for the first time in a long time. “Are you sure?” she said on impulse, wanting to kick herself for it. She sighed, wanting to eat the words after she’d spoken them.

But Qimir seemed to expect it. He simply nodded, not bothering to ignore or overindulge her reflexive self-doubt. “You’re ready. We’ll do warmups, some HIIT, get you on a bag for some form work, and then—I want to see you dance.”

“What, was last Saturday not good enough for you?” she shot back, folding herself into a deep stretch and turning her head to look at him. His gaze was dark even in the dim lighting of the dressing room.

“Last Saturday was many things; good enough is at the milder end of the descriptions I’d use.”

After re-taping her leg, he took her hand in his, a familiar length of black fabric in his other hand. “I’ve been looking forward to this, I won’t lie.”

Osha let her hands soften for him as he wrapped her left hand and wrist with slow, methodical motions. She’d seen him wrap his hands before at something approaching the speed of light, so for him to work so carefully with her was… well, different. 

When he finished both hands, he inspected her fists, telling her to flex her fingers a few times to test for good circulation. His eyes bounced up to her face once he was satisfied. “You’re perfect.”

The praise was surely meant for himself, his work with the wraps, but she couldn’t help the silly little smile that came to her face.

Downstairs, he had her use one of the body-opponent bags after the first half of their session. The plasticky face and rubber body wiggled just from their approach. “Let’s test your anatomy knowledge. One-one-two to the solar plexus.”

He stood just behind the bag to watch her strikes come in as he called them. He grinned at her like she’d done something incredible—not something she’d been doing since childhood. He ran her through different combinations, but by the end, he let her do what she wanted, as long as she hit harder, harder, harder.

The force he wanted broke her out of her typical stance. She couldn’t get it right when she held herself so rigid and bladed. Still, he didn’t technically tell her to drop the boxer’s stance she was used to. She had to drop it herself.

And when she did…

When she hit with all the strength she’d been holding back for years…

He nearly lost his grip on the bag.

It tilted dangerously to the side, but he didn’t let it fall. He righted it and shouted in excitement, slapping the rubber head with a burst of energy. “Atta-fuckin-girl! There we go. How’s that feel?”

Osha breathed hard, hands still up in a loose block. “Feels good,” she gasped. “Real good.”

He grinned madly at her. “You’re perfect. Perfect. Let’s go again. Build up to it. Let’s see some kicks, too.”

Osha wasn’t as familiar with using her legs as she was with her hands, but he’d taught her what to do, how to hold herself and channel power into her kicks. The praise came faster now.

Good kick. Same place. Again.

Fuck yes. Don’t stop, show me.

C’mon. That’s it. Good girl.

Ooh, that’s a rib-breaker. Love it. Do it again.

Attagirl. Attagirl.

(And a few times, but it could have been the bloodrush warping it: that’s my girl.)

Over and over until she was drunk on it.

He had an invisible pull on her, one she couldn’t help but follow to the sparring mats. “Alright, let’s see it.”

Facing off against him was a different fucking universe than facing off against a bag. He wouldn’t praise her for getting good hits in on him, would he? She hesitated, the first time he’d seen her do so.

“What is it?” he said, dropping his stance and coming closer. She didn’t retreat from his approaching form but kept her hands up.

“It’s just. Shit, I haven’t sparred in actual months. I’m nervous.”

“I make you nervous?” he said, tilting his head to the side. Even with his silly mouthguard in, his smile was charming.

She narrowed her eyes and swung at him.

After the first few surprised blocks from her quick hands, he barked a laugh and started swiping at her as well. But Osha wasn’t a wet-eared rookie; she won those junior championships from being hard to hit.

They blocked and ducked one another for a while, each assessing the other’s defenses. Osha’s fighting style was limited to boxing and a handful of kicks, but he knew so many fighting disciplines that he exhibited them to college students. If he wanted to defeat her, he would.

It was clear he was toying with her after a while. When he reacted to her stumbling with a pointed little hmm, she swung a messy left hook right at his head—which he caught in his hand.

She was so surprised by his reflexes that she only remembered to react after he’d kissed her knuckles. While the gesture thrilled her, it was equally adept at annoying the everloving fuck out of her.

In her head, a new voice chimed in, hungry and snarling from the pit of a coliseum. It was a voice she hadn’t heard since she was twenty years old, stepping into the ring in Bestine.

Win.

She went on the offensive, practically screaming through her exhales as she attacked. Her knuckles ached from the amount of times she hit his forearms, but then—

Then—

A wicked look gleamed in his eyes, and his leg shot out to try and kick at hers—

She shifted like the wind around a mountain and slugged him in the jaw so hard it rattled her teeth.

The impact stunned both of them—she could feel her own surprise, but he had to blink the dazed expression off his face. It was replaced by something a lot darker, something she was sure he preferred to hide behind that ghastly mask upstairs. “Attagirl,” he rasped.

“Are you oka—shit!” Osha went on the defensive as he came at her, punches and kicks going everywhere at once. Her tiny buzz of victory zipped away, leaving only the mild hum of panic from getting caught on the back foot. He jabbed her in the ribs when she let her guard slip on the left, sending all the air whooshing from her lungs. Bending double, she retreated a few steps, recalculating her strategy.

She focused her attack on his legs. He kept trying to correct his balance, continually going off-center with his chest-thrown punches. Osha struck out like a viper with her right leg, and he was sent sprawling onto his back, arms splayed wide. While she loomed above him, he only grinned. “Thath’ma girl,” he said around the mouthguard—sweet sentiment, lacking execution.

“Are we still sparring, or are you just running your mouth?” she panted, already working to get her breathing under control.

He laughed and winked at her before tapping the mat twice, signaling they were done. She offered him a hand up, and almost fucking dropped him at the sound of applause.

She hadn’t noticed the crowd gathering, too focused on Qimir and trying not to get her shit rocked. The audience seemed to think they were very entertaining, whistling and chattering in excitement. 

Someone would try to step in if they saw the new girl sparring with the scary guy during the down-weeks.

Yeah, well, the new girl just put the scary guy on his ass.

An inkling of pride threatened to seep into her mind. Osha allowed herself one modest compliment: she held her own fairly well, considering how long she’d been out of the game.

“How does it feel?” Qimir asked when they were alone again. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” He was still smiling—hadn’t stopped since she punched him.

Maniac.

She did a quick assessment of herself, now that the adrenaline had somewhat abated. With her heartbeat under control, she could make out the… 

Well, the pain was… 

She frowned.

“I’m… I feel fine?”

“You sound confused. Or disappointed.”

“I feel the soreness and the effort, but—there’s no pain. I think the worst is my hand.”

He rubbed at his jaw, a satisfied smile on his face. “Yeah, your poor hand.”

Something came over Osha, and she reached up to get his hand away from his face. A bruise bloomed there, bright pink and darkening by the minute. “This won’t get you in trouble at the college?”

He stood very still as she looked him over. His eyes were half-lidded and shadowed in the dressing room lights, and she wished they were back in the gym downstairs, where the presence of other people more easily suppressed her do-something-stupid impulse.

“They know I work out at a fighting gym. I don’t sit in board meetings more than twice a year. And the students won’t ask.” He raised a hand to wrap gently around her wrist, as secure as the black wraps had been. “Osha,” he murmured. It made her stop fussing. “I’ll be okay. If anything, I can say someone kneed me in the face while I was doing an assisted stretch.”

How specific. “That happen a lot?”

“You have no idea,” he chuckled. He changed his grip on her wrist. “Now let me see your hand.”

He tenderly unwrapped her right hand. Her knuckles were blushed pink, her middle finger an angry red that she rarely saw with her hands in gloves all the time. He pressed his thumbs into her knuckles, walking them all over as he watched her reaction. “Hm?”

“It’s fine,” Osha said again. He nodded and didn’t look away as he pulled her hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to her reddened knuckles—just like he’d done a moment before she punched the hell out of his jaw. Osha felt light-headed as he held the kiss. “You…”

“Me?” he asked.

“What about you?”

“You tell me.”

“What?”

His smile curled against her hand. “I don’t think I hit you in the head…”

She rolled her eyes and broke away to change in the bathroom. “You’re obnoxious, stranger.”

After a few minutes of silence, he spoke.

“You can call me Qimir, you know. Out loud.”

His voice was soft, almost too soft for her to hear. She leaned back against the wall, face turned to the doorway. “But do you want to be called Qimir?”

She heard him come closer, and saw his shadow mirror how she was standing, just on the other side of the wall. She was tempted to reach for him around the doorframe.

“If it’s you,” he said.

“You want me to call you Qimir?”

Would you really choose ‘stranger’ as a name for yourself?

No.

“I told you before, you can call me whatever you want. But I hear you pause when you want to say my name. I want you to say my name.”

Her face heated near to feverish. She remembered how Mae had said his name that first time. I need to ask you if all this, all the lashing out, was done on purpose because you wanted to train with Qimir. She’d sounded so hateful, which had been almost as confusing as learning her stranger had a name at all.

“Then I’ll say your name… Qimir.”

To her surprise, his hand came around the doorframe, open and offering. She grabbed it without hesitation. “Thank you,” he said roughly, squeezing her hand once before letting go.

It took her a second to confront her reflection in the mirror, but when she did, she looked resolved and centered.

It was on the day of the new moon that Indara spoke to her.

“Osha, can I have a word?”

She looked up from where she was doing inventory with Tasi. Indara stood on the other side of the counter, having snuck up without Osha seeing.

“I’ve got this,” Tasi said, waving her on.

Yord didn’t give her any grief as she walked a half-step behind Indara to one of the dusty storage rooms at the Temple. Indara could have chosen one of the unoccupied offices or even asked to speak with her outside, so Osha figured this was just a convenient private place for a tense conversation.

She waited patiently for Indara to speak.

“You haven’t been in classes.”

Osha considered engaging in the awkward small talk for a few seconds before she shook her head. “You know why.”

It wasn’t a matter of not having time or availability or even access to classes. Indara knew well that Osha could take her classes at sunrise, but she also knew Osha’s life had shifted pulls—from the unforgiving orbit around a cold sun to a faster, more thrilling one centered on the moon.

“But you are still training? It’s not good to stay away from activity no matter how long it’s been since your injury.”

Ah.

Indara was often overlooked in the training cadre at the Temple. Her classes were the earliest, and according to scheduling statistics had some of the lowest sign-ups of the gym. The people who learned from her were fiercely loyal, however—they’d spent decades at the Temple, training specifically for the sunrise offerings.

Because of that, not many of the competitive and elite fighters had the opportunity to see how truly brilliant she was in the art.

Osha’s childhood memories of taking her classes were warm and welcoming in a time where pain was a more constant companion than Mae. Indara was attentive in a way Sol was not. His frenetic compassion overwhelmed Osha at every turn, but Indara’s quiet faith in her ability to master herself made it easier to accept the bumps in the road.

After Bestine, however, there’d been a switch: Indara began hounding Osha on practically everything—classes, shifts at the cafe, learning to repair equipment. Looking back on it, it probably kept her from being fired or cast out from the Temple. She’d been in a deep depression after the injury, one that most members preferred to ignore. Indara hadn’t let up even after the days got brighter, laying into her for not being on time, for being a good example, for trying her best.

If Indara’s training was one end of the spectrum and Sol’s was the other, Qimir’s style was nowhere close to either. She preferred it.

“I haven’t been inactive,” Osha hedged, feeling slightly hypocritical for demanding Indara be upfront about what she wanted but quailing at the first sign of admission.

“Have you been training on your own?”

“Indara, please just say what you want to say. I know you know something and I’m not going to pry it out of you.”

She looked mildly amused by Osha’s sass until she got serious. “I know it’s not against policy to train at other gyms, but I care about your safety. I wanted to ensure you’re training somewhere safe, with someone safe.”

There it was.

“Mae already tried giving me the spiel,” Osha bit out. “And I didn’t like her doublespeak, either. Be direct or I’m not telling you a thing.”

A stillness she recognized from Qimir’s breathing routines radiated outward from Indara like a beacon. She only now understood what that stillness meant: conviction.

“Qimir Loharne is a dangerous man, Osha.”

Even though she’d asked for it, hearing someone say his name in the Temple was a shock. Indara went on.

“He is a known, proven antagonist of the Temple and carries personal vendettas against most people here, chief of whom are Vernestra and your father.” Something in her voice hesitated around the last word like she hadn’t meant to mention Sol.

Osha stayed quiet.

“In the years since—his departure,” she said carefully, “he was heavily involved in the city’s criminal underworld—the Hutt gang, in particular.”

I got mixed up with people that normally don’t let you leave once you’re in. I did a lot of fucked-up things to get out.

“Your assessment of him is outdated,” Osha said. “And cut the shit about his departure. You all threw him out like garbage after he sustained a horrific injury. You think I wouldn’t empathize?”

Indara’s shame was clear as day. She bowed her head to Osha’s judgment. “You’re right,” she said in a whisper.

“Why paint him as the villain when he’s clearly the victim, then?”

Gathering herself, Indara set her jaw. “When he got out of the hospital, he began harassing members at the gym, calling them and cursing them out until his voice went hoarse. There are recordings of it. There are at least two police reports regarding property damage showing an attempted breaking and entering. There were times he would trespass and intimidate the other members until police were called.”

Osha knew Indara wouldn’t say all that unless she had it on good authority—firsthand or otherwise.

“Vernestra hired a private investigator to keep an eye on him, but after he joined the ranks for the Hutts, she lost track of him. There were reports of more intimidation incidents, larceny and assault here and there. Illegal fighting rings.”

She kept her face very, very still. Did Indara know about Unknown Planet?

“When she told Vernestra he’d fallen off the map, the private investigator didn’t want anything else to do with it. Gave Vernestra the third degree about what she was doing, too. I assumed once things got quiet, Vernestra was satisfied with wherever Qimir had gone.

“I was incorrect. Recently, I found several things that disturbed me. First, that Mae was training with him. You know I reported seeing them together to Vernestra. Then, months later, I found out she’d been encouraged to continue seeing him despite the negative influence a man like that would have on a member of the Temple. And lastly, I found out that Vernestra had attempted to pin the news on you long after the fact.

“I know you have no reason to believe me, but I’ve tried to put a stop to her abhorrent treatment toward you as much as I can. Given the circumstances, I fear further association with Qimir Loharne will only complicate matters—for you, for your sister, for the entire Temple.”

“What circumstances are you talking about?” Osha asked.

Panic flared in Indara’s body language like smoke off a campfire. Osha continued her attack.

“Why are you telling me this? And why now? You’ve had weeks since Vernestra accused me of that.”

Indara shifted, taking a deep breath to center herself. “I know. I tend to overthink matters that I know the answers to in each moment. This was one of them. It was a mistake to hold back this long, but looking back, there was no opportunity to speak to you safely.”

Osha wagered a guess that she meant I couldn’t talk to you without Vernestra getting suspicious, so I had to wait until she was gone.

“Then what were you waiting so long to say? Were you just trying to warn me off of seeing him?” Mae had tried that and earned Osha’s ire for a week. To someone like Indara, that grudge had a lot more potential mileage.

“I’ve known him since he was thirteen years old. He was a very angry child with something to prove, and in his years in the ring, he was a reckless fighter, if skilled and dedicated. He was driven by the need to win, to overpower his opponents. That wrath never abated, and I fear it was only worsened by the events that transpired.”

“And he’s in his thirties now, and doesn’t want anything to do with the Temple.”

Osha was aware she was admitting her involvement, but at this point didn’t care. She wouldn’t stand here and let Indara talk shit about him just because of her decade-old perceptions of him.

“Then why would he want to train with Mae? She wouldn’t have kept it a secret, where her loyalties lie.”

She didn’t have an answer for that. Mae’s paranoia crept back in.

I mean, it makes sense, right? He’d use one of the inside members to finally get his revenge or whatever. And it worried me when he started paying attention to you, and I don’t know what’s going on, but he still might be trying to use one of us to—

“He wouldn’t do that. He has—” too much to lose. “He has a life outside of Vernestra’s influence and wants it to stay that way.”

“Unfortunately, your involvement with him prevents that from being possible.”

She reeled back as if struck. “What the hell?”

“You two are… so alike.” Indara watched her carefully. “And it’s tragic that Vernestra knew that all along.” The regret in her tone unsettled Osha, but Indara moved on before she could explain further. “You asked me why I told you now. It’s because something has to give, Osha.

“Qimir Loharne has the motivation and the capacity to destroy not only Vernestra but the Temple and a whole group of important people involved. Vernestra is aware of that, and has been for a very long time.”

She knows if I exposed what she did, it’d destroy her. It’d destroy the Temple, and probably take down another three dozen conspirators who sought to keep things hushed up.

“She has dedicated tens of thousands of dollars into countless security additions to the gym to protect against him specifically. She’s now convinced your sister to join in her machinations, and I don’t want to see you get sucked into this dark net with the rest of us. You should not play her game, Osha. She would rather break the rules than let anybody win but her. She’s already done so, a hundred times over without anyone knowing.”

“What did she do to him? This isn’t the behavior of someone fearing for their livelihood. This is paranoia. This is guilt. He was just a kid she trained—”

“He… wasn’t.”

“What?”

Indara took a few rough swallows and tried to center herself. “He wasn’t just a kid she trained. He was—she fostered him for almost four years.”

Osha took a staggering step back. The doom felt like it was tilting on its axis. “Fostered him?”

Indara spoke quickly. “After the Padawan program started, Vernestra felt she lucked out with Qimir as her student. He showed so much talent, so much potential—and she wanted then what she wants now. Recognition. Accolades. Awards. Champions. And she fast-tracked the fostering paperwork so he could live here full-time and—”

“Here?!” Osha hissed. “He lived at the Temple?”

“Keep your voice down,” Indara insisted. “Yes. I don’t know how it all happened, but Vernestra has friends in high places. Some, very high.” She gestured to a dusty file box marked, MAYOR’S CUP SIGNAGE.

“No kidding—wait, you’re saying the mayor is involved in this?”

“Not the current one,” she said, shaking her head. “Rayencourt doesn’t like Vernestra. But the previous mayor, the one Rayencourt beat in the last election, he was in Vernestra’s pocket. That’s a different story, though. She only fostered him so she could take him to tournaments and competitions across the state—she wanted to travel with him past state lines and even out of the country, but that would have required her to formally adopt him.”

She took a deep breath. “Did he know that was why Vernestra ado—fostered him?”

Indara signed. “I don’t know. I hope not. But anybody who knows Vernestra knows she’s an ambitious opportunist—a venture capitalist.”

“Yes, but with people?” Osha protested. “This is—how come this isn’t everywhere?”

“There’s… there are a lot of reasons for that, Osha. There were witnesses to his injury, and all of them—all of us,” she swallowed down her pride, “had to keep things quiet or else we’d all go down together.”

Osha was disgusted. “You clearly don’t approve.”

“When I signed that NDA, I’d just gotten back from ten hours of waiting in a hospital room to see if Qimir lived through his surgery.” The flare of emotion beneath her words told Osha she was serious. “They were… they wouldn’t let me leave if I didn’t. And if I ever broke it after… the consequences were and are enough to keep my mouth shut.”

“It’s not shut now.”

“No. It’s not. And I may have made the wrong decision then, but I won’t make it now. Not when I see it happening again—with you.”

“Me? I don’t even compete.”

“Vernestra considers you a blemish on her image. She sees you as a wildcard she can’t control. After your injury, she went through the same motions as she’d done before—scrubbing your image from signage that represented the Temple, doctoring news results of your injury and your involvement in the gym.

“Qimir had much less coverage, which made it easier to erase his name from anything that could come back to her, but not everything.” Osha nodded. She’d found the two news articles. “And I said there were witnesses. But his injury wasn’t in front of a crowd in Bestine.”

Osha flexed her hands in and out of fists on her knees. “What happened, Indara?”

“How much has he told you about what happened?”

Under her watch, a spar went very wrong, and—

T6, T7, T12, L1—

“I know it’s serious enough that it affects him to this day,” she hedged. She didn’t want to give Indara anything that she could use against her—or Qimir.

Osha’s defensiveness seemed to make Indara aware of something, eyes shifting to the door. “We might have been in here for too long,” she said. 

“We’re fine.”

“No, really. The walls have ears and eyes.”

Osha felt like screaming in frustration. How could Indara just cut things off like that? There were so many unanswered questions it felt like she was drowning in uncertainty. “So what do you want me to do? You’re not getting away with telling me just part of the story.”

“I have to be careful, Osha. The NDA is very specific about what will happen to me if it gets out that I broke it. And I have broken it to tell you what I have, even if you think I’ve told you very little.” Indara took a deep breath, looking between Osha and the door. “I’m typically free in the early evenings. You have my number.”

Evenings—when she trained with Qimir. Would she have to keep this from him? Indara sounded like she was there when he was injured—that’d be enough to hold a grudge against her. Perhaps she should wait until she knew more before bringing it to Qimir. He’d been quite upset when she told him about what Mae said last Saturday.

“Alright. But—Indara, I haven’t signed the NDA, and I’d be able to actually do something. To make this right.” Osha came closer. “I want to set things right. I don’t want to destroy the Temple, but if there’s justice that needs doing, then… I need to pursue it.”

Indara’s relief seemed strained. “I know you do. And I was hoping you would. In the meantime, I need you to act like everything is business as normal. I don’t believe Vernestra knows you’re training with him, and we need to keep it that way.”

“I’m—” She was about to deny it, reflexively covering her ass, but stopped. Indara had shared the truth, and she owed it from Osha as well. “I can do that,” she said slowly.

“If Vernestra does question you about him, act like you despise him if she backs you into a corner. Lie as little as possible. Play the game to make it look like she’s winning, Osha.”

She nodded, feeling a little nauseous as a million different ideas twirled around in her head to sell the ruse.

“Another thing—practically every member of the gym over 30 has signed an NDA of some sort. You cannot trust any of them not to report you for snooping around.”

“Not even Sol?” she said, feeling the weight of this responsibility close over her head like the lid of a coffin.

Indara froze, closing her eyes tightly. “Especially Sol,” she whispered. “Especially him.” She left the room without another word, leaving Osha alone in the quiet.

She checked her phone the moment she got in her car after work. She’d done well distracting herself after talking to Indara by doing odd, unwanted jobs around the cafe. It only temporarily staved off the looming dread and anxiety; there was no keeping it away forever.

Kana had texted her four times in a row just a few minutes before her shift ended, most likely knowing she’d see them quickly.

K: last minute but we might need you on swing for fights

K: 2hr before 2hr after 2x pay lots of tips :)

K: you also get free admission to fights :)))

K: it’s short notice but I promise we won’t throw you to the wolves lol

O: 2x pay sounds NOICE.

O: I’ll be there at 7 with bells on :)))

Oh no. Fight night.

She would have to face Qimir after all Indara had said—his involvement with gangs, the other attacks on the Temple he hadn’t disclosed. The fact he was Vernestra’s foster child. There was no fucking way she could keep it together if he asked what was wrong.

She couldn’t tell him what she knew. He had an eleven-month winning streak to defend and didn’t need more emotional trauma following him into the cage.

It’s not healthy to let myself think about returning to that mindset again.

Osha had to do this on her own. She had to find a way to expose Vernestra and whoever else was involved, so Qimir could live the quiet life he wanted.

Speaking of the devil.

?: I know you’re on shift right now, but would you like to ride to Unplan together tonight? I’m there early on new moons, so you might be bored while waiting.

?: But I want to see you.

She felt her heart soar in her chest, a welcome ache after all the despair from earlier. It strengthened her resolve to defend him, to go to whatever lengths she had to in order to help him. He was kind and considerate and—

O: Kana just asked me to work swing shift :(

His response came immediately, like he’d been waiting for her text even though he’d sent his more than an hour before.

?: Did you say yes?

O: Yeah

O: Money’s money

?: Swing still lets you watch the fights.

O: Bold to assume I want to watch u fight.

?: Can you blame me?

O: Yes

O: Often

?: Did you still want a ride?

O: Do u get there before 7

?: I do.

?: About heart hours early to first match.

God damn it. Despite the weight of all that had been said, Osha blushed and leaned back against the door, biting her lip to suppress a smile.

O: That could work……

?: I will wait until your shift is over as well.

O: Go on…

?: And I’ll buy you a drink.

O: What, u need me to drive u home after u get ur ass kicked?

?: If that’s what you want.

“The fuck does that mean?” she whispered, starting her car.

?: I’ll come by at 6:30.

O: I’ll see u then~

?: Attagirl.

CHAPTER 14

[crappymixtape]

i hate you ( not )

REQUEST → anonymous, 500 FOLLOWER CELEBRATION ❝ love a good enemies to lovers smutty fic – anything works, just lots of sarcasm and name calling to build up the tension • 18+ | ( 3.6k – a nice lil mountain of angst that rolls down into a big ol’ valley of smut, steve x reader )

I H A T E Y O U ( N O T ) 🎶 dopamine, julius black

“Are you seriously following me right now?” you didn’t even bother looking over your shoulder as you shouted over the crunch of Steve’s shoes in the gravel behind you trying to catch up.

He was fucking impossible. Always finding a way to get under your skin. Telling you the way you stocked the shelves at Family Video was wrong. Making fun of your beater of a car. Chewing his chips so loudly in the break room you thought it’d make you go certifiably insane. Always obnoxious, but easily dealt with til now. When he’d gone too far.

A party down at the quarry. Too much beer and smoke and haze and the crack of the bonfire against the inky black sky. You were trying to talk to a boy you’d run into at the store, a cute boy. One that didn’t smack his lips or slurp his soda. One that didn’t look at you like you were the bane of his existence and it had been going so well for once.

Had been.

Until Steve.

“Yeah, they’re so fucking good live. Maybe I can take you next time they’re in town?”

“I’d love that,” your stomach flipped over, grin pulling at the corners of your lips as Liam looked down at you through his dark curls. Smiled at you warm and soft. Eyes deep and green, like the trees along the fence line at night and god, it was just nice to be treated like this for once.

“You don’t even like them,” Steve’s voice cut in as he stepped up next to you beer in hand, and your cheeks burned. Bright red, embarrassed and angry.

Liam looked over at Steve, confusion pinching between his brows and then glanced down at you.

“Oh, I thought you said–”

“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” you insisted, turning your back to Steve and trying your best to smile up at Liam, but the warmth on his face had faded.

“Okay,” Liam said, drawing out the vowel. Drinking the rest of his beer he tossed the can into the fire and jammed his hands into his pockets, “Well. Maybe I’ll see you around.”

“Wait! A-are you leaving? You just got here,” you protested, trying not to sound desperate. Liam was so sweet and all you wanted for once was just to have a nice time, but he was already turning to walk back up the hill.

“Yeah, sorry. I gotta be up early for work. I’ll call you,” he said, but you knew he wouldn’t as he forced a smile. Gave you a small half wave before heading across the gravel of the quarry and up to his truck.

“But–don’t you want to–” you stopped yourself short knowing it was useless. Steve chuckled behind you and you felt heat rise in your chest again.

Eyes squeezing shut and hands balled into fists, your nails pressed half moons into your palms as you spun back around to Steve. The glare you gave him wiped the grin right off his face and his lips twisted into a scowl.

“What?” he asked stupidly and you huffed a sound of disbelief.

“What d’you mean, what?” you shot back, taking a few steps toward him, “You just fucked that up for me. On purpose!”

“I did you a favor, that guy’s an idiot,” Steve grumbled and you laughed then. A hollow, humorless one that pushed itself from your lungs.

“You’re a real dick, Harrington,” you said, stepping up to him in defiance and he crowded down over you. Looked at you like a challenge. Eyes lit up bright in the firelight. Melted caramel. Amber. Whiskey and honey and you didn’t shy away from it.

“Oh, yeah? Well you’re no ray of sunshine, princess,” he was close enough now you could feel his breath warm over your cheek and the air grew thick, too hot, and it had nothing to do with the summer heat or the fire.

“Asshole,” you half whispered, using what little resolve you had left to tear away from him and stalk up the same hill Liam had toward your car, leaving Steve behind in a lurch.

You could hear gravel crunching behind you, the slip and slide of rock on rock punctuated by Steve’s sharp breaths.

“Are you seriously following me right now?”

“Yeah, if you just–Jesus Christ–slow down!” Steve’s feet skidded as he nearly tripped, but you kept going, digging in your purse for your keys.

You didn’t want to stay, didn’t want to hear whatever bullshit excuse he had loaded. You couldn’t. Not without ripping into him. Fumbling your key in your hand you jammed it into the lock just as Steve caught up, hands on his hips as he sucked in gasps of air.

“C’mon. Can you just–can you just gimme a minute?” he asked, out of breath and tone edging on pleading, but you resisted turning around.

“Why the hell would I do that?” you asked against your car door.

“Shit, princess. D’you really hate me that much?” his tone was even softer this time and you shook your head.

“Only as much as you hate me,” you snapped.

Finally getting the lock undone, you tried to wrench the door open, but Steve’s hand stopped you. Pressed into yours and kept it shut.

“God, what’s your problem?” you turned to hurl daggers at him, but the words died in your throat when you realized just how close he was.

Toes bumping into yours, hair falling all messy across his forehead, chest still heaving with the effort of jogging up the hill and everything blurred. Dizzy and spinning and even though you hadn’t been the one running, you couldn’t catch your breath.

“I don’t have one,” he said voice low and you felt your lips fall open at the way it made your stomach twist.

The anger that had settled in your chest shifting into something else. Something that felt dangerous. Swallowing thick you tried to shake your head, shake him, and you pulled your hand away from his.

“Sure seems like it,” you mumbled, mouth firmed in a line, trying so hard to stand your ground.

His brows pinched together. A mixture of frustration, uncertainty. Struggling to put words to the feelings that were squeezing in his chest, just as conflicted as you were. He looked at you through the long sweep of his lashes, eyes searching yours and bit at the inside of his cheek.

He thought he’d been in love with you the minute you walked into Family Video. Wearing your cut off jeans and an old baggy Hawkins High basketball jersey. Hair pulled up away from your face so that he could see the soft curve of your shoulders, the baby hairs that curled at the nape of your neck. You looked grumpy, frustrated, and the frown twisting across your lips drove him crazy. So did the heat in your tone as you talked to Keith, telling him you wanted was ‘a stupid job’ to pay for your ‘stupid bills’ and god if he didn’t feel stupid for staring.

There was no way you didn’t have a boyfriend. You were too hot. Too funny and sharp and cool. Hell, even if you didn’t have a boyfriend he figured there was no way he’d have a chance, so he did what he always did. Acted like he didn’t care. Needled you, pestered you, got under your skin. Got a little mean with it, but he hadn’t expected it to backfire. Hadn’t expected you play back and fuck if it didn’t make it worse.

Took to calling you Princess because he loved the way you glared at him.

Ate half your lunch just so he had an excuse to walk you across the street for a bag of chips.

Said you did things wrong just so you’d shove at him, tell him ‘if he was so good at it why didn’t he show you?’

And when he finally figured out you were single he felt like he’d fucked up. Like he’d taken it too far and there was no way he could be what he really wanted to be for you. No way to tell you how badly he wanted to take you out. How badly he wanted to treat you right. Hold your hand and call you baby.

Hey, baby.

How much he wished he could press his lips into yours and see if you tasted all sweet and tart at the same time. Sour on the outside, sugar on the inside. How he wanted to run his hands up your legs, feel you under him, tell you things that’d pull sweet sounds from your lips, but now you were here at this stupid party. Now there was Liam and he couldn’t help it.

Anything to keep him away from you and now he felt like he was answering for everything.

“See?” you insisted at his hesitation, huffing a sigh and turning back into your car, but Steve grabbed at your hand and spun you around again.

“S’not you!” he said a little too loud, cheeks burning with his admission and he bit his lips between his teeth, “It’s everybody else.”

Your face shifted skeptical, a little cynical, but he was so damn close. Too close and you tried to pull in a breath. Tried to hold onto your anger, but it slipped through your fingers like water. Scattered like wishes on a breeze as the scent of his cologne made you go all hazy. The look in his eyes pouring into you like kerosene on a fire. Made you want to grab fistfuls of his shirt in your hands and feel the full weight of him on you and–

“I don’t see what that’s gotta do with me,” you sniped, trying to keep your tone short, but it came out softer and he took the opportunity and ran with it.

“Everything, actually,” his lips tugged up into a small sheepish smile, but dropped again as he realized there was more to say. “I know I’m a dick–”

“You think?” you cut in and he leveled you with a look.

“Thanks,” he muttered and it pulled a little grin from you, but the next thing he said wiped it off your face, “M’sorry,” and your stomach flipped over at the way he was looking at you. “I just…I wish it were me,” he said, lifting a hand to your cheek and tucking a few stray locks of hair behind your ear.

Wish it were me. Your heart was racing.

“Wish what was you?” you whispered. Afraid to hear the answer. Holding your breath as he leaned in. Nose nearly brushing over your cheek. Close enough to kiss you if he wanted and god did you want him to.

“The one askin’ you out,” he whispered back and it struck you silent.

How was that possible? He was awful. Annoying and irritating and obnoxious and now he was telling you he wanted to ask you out?

“So ask me, Harrington,” you murmured and watched as his brows lifted in surprise, lips parted into a little ‘o’ as his brain raced to catch up.

“Wai–what?” he stumbled over his words and you pressed a hand to his chest.

“Ask me,” you said again and he huffed a laugh, tongue jammed into his cheek as he looked back down at you.

“Okay,” he managed, licking over his lips as he gathered himself back up, “C-Can I take you out?”

“Mmhm,” you murmured, nerves giving way to confidence and you pulled him down into you a little closer. Pressed your lips against his ear and whispered, “Kiss me.” And it nearly knocked him over.

Pulling away you looked up at him, whispered his name like a question and it blew his pupils wide. Dark at the center and fringed in gold and it was enough to make him lean back down. Soft and tentative at first, but bolder and braver when you sighed into him.

An exhale. A release. A realization of what you’d wanted this whole time and it made you grab his shirt in your hands, tilting your head to deepen the kiss and the sounds you pulled from each other were greedy.

More more more.

Hands splaying out over his chest you slid them up his shoulders and into his hair, pulling it lightly as his tongue licked into you and the moan he loosed made you press your thighs together.

“Shit,” he hissed, fingers pressing into the plush of your hips, mouth dragging hot down your neck and across your collarbone. Kisses messy and slipping on your skin and god you needed him. “Christ, princess, you drive me crazy,” he admitted and you grinned, all smug and holding the upper hand, but then he slotted a leg between your thighs and you lost it.

You felt like you couldn’t breathe. Felt like he was the only thing keeping you from falling away and it made you hold onto him tighter. You could still hear the laughter and the music down at the bonfire, but it sounded so far away. Both of you hidden in the thick, indigo shadows that fell out under the stand of trees, dark enough to not care what you were about to ask.

“Steve,” you pulled away just enough to speak and he stopped, both of you panting short breaths into the space between you.

“Sorry, can slow down if you want–”

“No–shit–” you squeezed your eyes shut to focus, “Don’t stop.” Swallowing thick you opened your eyes again and looked right up at him, “Just get in.”

Hands slipping against your car you fumbled to open the door to the backseat and half shoved him in before piling in after. When you closed it behind you the small space was suddenly filled with the sounds of your breaths. Quick and nervous and anticipating.

Steve sat on the bench, just as anxious as you were, and watched with heavy lidded eyes as you climbed over him. Straddled him with a leg on either side. Your dress hitching up and bunching at your hips and all he could do was grab onto your thighs for dear life. Pressing a hand into the seat behind his head you bit your lip between your teeth and pulled in a steadying breath.

“Here,” you whispered, taking one of his hands and sliding it between your legs. Making him feel the heat that had pooled there, showing him what he was doing to you and he groaned. A filthy sound that fell from his lips as he pressed his fingers against your soaked panties.

“Fuck,” he rasped, already wrecked from feeling how wet you were. “Okayokayokay. So fuckin’ hot, babe. Shit,” nonsense fell from his lips and you had half a mind to laugh at him, but his fingers were pulling your panties aside and touching you not your panties and it pulled a gasp from you.

At the sound his eyes darted up to look at you, make sure you were okay and you put your hand back over his. Moving his fingers in slow circles as they slipped against your slick.

“Like that?” he asked eyes still on you, keeping up the motion as your hand fell away.

You tried to say yes, but it melted into another moan and he leaned in to press a kiss to your neck. Mouth open and messy. Licking against the softness of your skin and sucking a bruise on it.

“Tell me,” he said into the hollow behind your ear, trailing kisses as he went, your hips rocking against his fingers as his circles grew tighter and faster.

“Like that–ye–yeah–yes. God, don’t stop,” you stuttered over your words hands moving to grip onto his shoulders as he slipped first one then two fingers inside of you.

He filled you up better than you could at home, your cheek pressed into your pillow, tears welling up in your eyes in frustration as you struggled to reach the spot you wanted. The hot drag of him sliding in and out in and out made you see white, made your tighten your hold on him and as you loosed another moan he bucked up into you.

You could feel how hard he was through his jeans against the bare skin of your thigh and it only made you want him more. “Steve,” you leaned forward and pressed your forehead to his, “Please tell me you have a condom.”

His fingers stopped moving and he loosed a heavy sigh, swallowing down the nerves that had pushed themselves into his throat. “Yeah, course, lemme just–” lifting his hips, and you, from the seat he yanked his wallet out of his back pocket.

He had stopped carrying them around after high school. Felt like it was fucking juvenile, but one time after Steve had watched you leave work, put his returns in the wrong spot and upside down, Robin had thrown one across the store at him. “Here, dingus,” she’d grumbled, “Don’t be an idiot.” And he’d been so embarrassed, afraid to tell her he didn’t think he’d ever need it, but he silently thanked her now. Always saving his ass.

Gently nudging you back into the headrests on the front seats he put his wallet down and fumbled his fingers against the button on his jeans. He was hard as a rock and when he undid his zipper it sprang out without any encouragement.

You couldn’t take your eyes off him as he ripped the foil of the condom wrapper between his teeth and thumb. Of course he drove you crazy at work, but you couldn’t deny you’d thought about him when you were alone in your room. Touching yourself beneath the sheets. Fantasizing about what it would be like and now that you were seeing it for real your heart hammered in your chest, legs slipping together as you grew wetter by the second.

He wrapped a hand around his length pumping once, twice, three times before rolling the condom down from tip to root and looking back up at you.

“Y’okay?” he asked, hands moving to hold onto your hips and you realized how ridiculous you must’ve looked.

“Mmhm,” you murmured and let him pull you slowly back into his lap.

“Gotta tell me if you aren’t,” he whispered and you nodded as he gave you a little smile, brushed your hair out of your face and looked just a little longer. “So pretty,” he said softly, words lighting a fire in your chest, and you pressed a kiss to him again. Sucking on his bottom lip and letting it go with a dirty pop and he thought he was going to come right there on the spot. “Sh–shit, okayokay,” he breathed, pressing his tip against your entrance, hesitating just a little and you helped him the rest of the way, pushing down slowly.

You watched as he filled you up, stretched you out until he was buried deep inside you, the tight fit making you squirm over him.

“Ohhh god, so tight, feel so good babe, Christ,” he rambled and you chuckled a little until he hit the soft, squishy spot at the back of you and you moaned loudly. Fell forward onto his chest and rolled your hips forward, silently begging him to move as if he could do anything else. “I got you,” he promised.

Hands gripping your hips again he slowly turned and lowered you down, your back against the seat bench, his arms on either side of you to hold himself up. Murmured soft, dirty things under his breath as he crowded over you, started rocking his hips into you, the wet sounds of you filling up the car.

“Wish you’d asked me sooner,” you whined, wrapping your legs around his waist and he gave you a smug little smile.

“Yeah? Worth the wait?” he asked, breath hitching in his throat as he picked up the pace, fronts of his thighs slapping against the backs of yours.

“Shut up,” you gasped as he bottomed out inside of you. Tangling your fingers into his hair you pulled and it dragged a groan from him as he started to fuck you faster. Slipping a hand between your legs you drew tight, messy circles over your clit, pushing yourself closer and closer to the edge. “Ste–shit. Steve, harder,” you practically begged and the pleading tone in your voice sent him.

“Harder,” he said back, it was all he could muster, wrecked and chest heaving with each breath he sucked in, fucking into you with heavy thrusts, “M’so close.”

Opening your mouth a so close almost fell from your lips too, but the coil in your stomach had been so tightly wound that the combination of your fingers over your clit and Steve finally made it snap.

You clenched tight around him as you both rode out your climax. Head pressed against the seat and eyes rolling back to look out the window at the stars. The moon as it hung lazy in the sky. Steve spilling sweet words of praise into your ears and bringing you back down to earth. Wrapping you up soft and warm in his voice.

He rested his forehead against yours, both of your brows dewy with sweat, and let out a contented sigh as he softened inside you.

“Wish I’d asked you sooner too,” he murmured, poking fun at himself with your words from earlier and you leaned up to press a kiss to the corner of his lips.

“Worth the wait,” you finally agreed and he grinned.

God damn, was it worth the wait.

crappymixtape™ • steve harrington masterlist // stranger things masterlist

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Battle Of The Knights Pt. 4: Round 3 -Marc

Pairing: Moonknight trio x Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: nothin- you're safe

Genre: fluff- still just fluff lol

Summary: "So let me get this straight, you all like me, so you each want to take me on a date and let me decide what to do after?" You can't believe the words you're hearing even as you repeat them back.

What happens when the relationships you've built with Marc and his two alters are turned on their heads by a proposition that is anything but simple? How can they expect you to risk blowing up the carefully crafted dynamic you've worked so hard to create? And why do you agree to such an insane suggestion?

***

As much as you'd like to sit and stew on your date with Jake the way you did with Steven, you're starting to think it's best for everyone not to draw this out any longer than absolutely necessary, so the following Friday you text the trio again, this time addressing Marc, with a message identical to the one you sent Steven and Jake.

Marc. Your week starts Sunday. You have until next Sunday to plan and execute a date on a day of your choosing or you forfeit your turn.

Marc almost immediately shoots back an affirmative like Jake did.

Okay.

But it wasn't until the next day that he reached out to give you any information on your date.

Hey y/n, right now my plan is to pick you up at 7 pm on Friday. Is that okay?

You chuckle to yourself as you read the message. He's the only one who asked if his choice was convenient for you. Even if that time didn't originally work you would make it work, if that's what time his plans are for you have no intentions to make it any harder.

Of course! See you then.

You shoot him back your reply quickly. Friday. You just need to make it through Friday. That is doable. On Thursday you remember to ask for a dress code since none of them seem particularly fond of revealing their plans in advance and when you're again told to keep it casual, you pick out a pair of shorts and a crop top for your third mystery date. Marc knocks on your door just after 7 looking a bit frantic when you open the door.

"Sorry I'm a bit late. I brought you flowers." Marc says holding out a bouquet of pretty purple and white blooms.

"Oh, it hasn't even been five minutes, don't worry about it. Give me just a second to set these up in a vase and then we can go. Okay?" You tell him, turning back into your apartment to put the flowers somewhere.

"Sure!" He calls after you without crossing the threshold. You don't actually have any vases lying around so you stick them in one of your reusable water bottles until you can get them a better home. No one's ever gotten you flowers before so keeping a vase in your apartment has literally never occurred to you before this moment. Marc waits patiently at your door until you return. It's strange to realize this but before now you hadn't really thought about it much until now. Usually, the boys move about your apartment as if they live here but through this whole process, none of them have stepped inside. Whether that was something they agreed on in advance or just a subconscious side effect of the temporary dynamic change you're not sure but you're not about to tip the scales for any of them by inviting Marc in. He can wait at the door if that's what he's chosen to do.

"Okay! Let's go." You smile at him once you're done, stepping out and locking your apartment door.

"Do you have your underground card by the way? We'll have to hop on the train from here." Marc tells you before you leave the building.

"Yeah, I've got it. Where are we going?" You ask.

"Oxford Circus." He says.

"Oxford Circus? What are we doing over there?" You ask frowning in confusion. The name of the station does not give you any clues as to what you'll be doing.

"That's all I'm gonna give you til we get there babes." Marc says.

"Fine." You say with exaggerated annoyance that makes Marc laugh as the two of you walk to the nearest underground station. You catch the next train headed for Oxford Circus while Marc asks you about how your week has been at work. Once you're off the train Marc takes your hand as he walks the streets to an unknown destination. After a few minutes, he pulls open the door to a building that you just barely catch the name of.

"Minigolf?!" You gasp.

"I thought it'd be fun, something laid back and low stakes. You know, except for the fact that you're definitely gonna lose."

"I'm gonna lose?! Oh, you are so going down Spector." You laugh.

"Yeah sure totally." He scoffs as you walk up to the desk at the front. The two of you pick your course, get your clubs and choose from the basket of colorful golf balls, yours blue and his yellow, and then the competition begins. You keep score because Marc is notorious for not doing that properly whenever you play games. By the time you get to the last of the nine holes of the course, it's not hard to guess how things will end. You line up what should be your final shot and knock the bright blue ball against an edge of the course that pushes it into the hole.

"HA! That's game baby! You lose." You jump up when it rolls in.

"Hey now, I could totally make this shot you know. It's not over til it's over." Marc defends.

"Even if you do make this shot Marc you're still five up. You can't beat me at this point." You shrug and Marc lines up for his next putt. It takes Marc two more shots to get his ball in.

"Damn." He shakes his head.

"Yeah- I totally wiped the floor with you." You laugh.

"No no, you wanna have the higher number obviously, so I win." Marc says looking at the scorecard.

"I know I've called you an idiot a number of times but I don't think you're that dumb. Or maybe you are if you think that's gonna work." You scoff. Marc slaps a hand against his chest dramatically.

"Ouch! Must you kick a man while he's down?" He sighs.

"Aw poor baby." You pout at him. "I'd feel worse if you hadn't declared that you'd beat me before we even started." You smirk at him.

"How evil." Marc smiles.

"That's what you get for saying I would and I quote 'definitely lose'. Looks like the stakes weren't what you thought they were."

"When did you get so good at mini golf anyway?" He asks.

"Oh I don't know. I don't play that often."

"What?" He blinks at you.

"I'm just good at most things." You shrug.

"I'd do well to remember that then." He hums.

"Yes. You would." You smile and turn to walk back to the desk to return your club and golf ball with Marc quickly catching up to walk beside you.

"So- I was thinking we could get burgers, or if you want something that's more upscale there's an Italian place not far from here that's pretty good." Marc suggests once the two of you have exited the building.

"In the theme of laid back and low stakes- burgers sound great." You say with a slight nudge.

"Awesome, there's a burger joint a couple blocks down that's so good even Steven likes going there." Marc throws an arm over your shoulders as you walk.

"Really? They have vegan options I'm guessing?" You ask.

"They do indeed. Although- since Steven isn't rambling in my head tonight I think I'll pass on the vegan options this time around. Don't tell him." Marc winks at you.

"Your secret is safe with me." You giggle. You've always found it sweet that Marc, despite not actually being vegan, tries to accommodate Steven's lifestyle as often as he does. Jake really can't be bothered- not that you blame him honestly- he's not vegan either, there's no reason for him to go out of his way to choose vegan options but Marc's attempt at consideration is nice. It only takes you about five minutes to make it to the restaurant Marc was talking about and since the place isn't busy when you get there it doesn't take long to get your food once you've ordered.

"I can see why even Steven likes this place." You hum popping a fry into your mouth.

"Good right?" Marc smiles.

"Yeah, I'll definitely be coming back here." You nod.

"Well- sounds like I'm doing pretty damn good tonight then."

"You're certainly better at planning dates than you are at playing mini golf, I'll give you that much." You shrug.

"I think I can accept that as your official assessment." He says.

"Yeah?" You chuckle.

"Yeah! Imagine if I sucked as bad at date planning. Now that would be something I can't recover from."

"I mean- it's not like I'd go home and block you if you planned a bad date." You wink.

"Sure but not getting blocked is such a low bar. I'm aiming for way higher." Marc says.

"You're doing great so far." You chuckle. The two of you joke and chat while finishing your food and even once all that's left is the rubbish you keep talking until eventually the place is getting ready to close and you have to leave. Your train ride back to your apartment is similarly filled with chatter. It's always interesting to you how no matter how long you spend with Marc you never actually run out of things to talk about with him. When you think about it, that actually applies to Jake and Steven too, it's like you can never spend enough time with them. It's nice, having someone, or in this case, a trio of someones, that you don't get tired of being around. Once you're back at your apartment there's an awkward transition from whatever you're talking about to goodbyes- neither of you particularly rushing for the night to end.

"Well- we made it back." Marc says.

"We did. I had a good time tonight." You tell him with a smile.

"That's all I was hoping for." He says. You chuckle and turn your back for long enough to unlock your apartment and then you face him again, leaning forward a bit to give Marc a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Goodnight Marc." You say quietly before stepping into your apartment.

"Wait-" Marc says before you can shut the door.

"Yes?" You tilt your head at him. You can practically see the gears turning in his head before he speaks again.

"When will we see you again?" He asks. You pause for a moment and consider what would be the best answer.

"Soon." You offer. Giving a specific date wouldn't do any good. If it's too soon you'll be pressured to rush the decision, and if it's too far anxiety may eat the boys up before you even get around to giving an answer.

"Just- soon?" His brows draw together in confusion.

"I'm sorry that I don't have a better answer it's just- well I've got a lot to think about here, I need some time to sort through my thoughts." You tell him.

"Sorry- we shouldn't pressure you. It's all so- strange, we know. It's just- well you know how we can be I guess." Marc says. You look at him for a moment, it's not often that Marc's nerves show, but right now he's fiddling with his fingers and you know for a fact that he's more anxious than he wants to let on.

"Before the month is over. I'll text you all." You say in an attempt to ease his uncertainty.

"That's three weeks." He says.

"Yeah, I know. That- should give me enough time to work out my feelings about this whole thing. And- you can pass that message along to Steven and Jake, yeah? Before the end of the month. I'll message you all and we'll meet up to talk." You nod as Marc's shoulders visibly drop slightly. As if having a timeline just drastically decreased how tense he was.

"Okay. We'll be waiting, whenever you're ready." He tells you.

"Goodnight Marc." You say.

"Goodnight y/n." Marc says. With that, you fully enter your apartment and shut the door behind you. Tonight was fun. So was your date with Jake the other week and Steven's before that. You simply enjoy spending time with all of them- which, you already knew. The more you think it over the more you are sure that you're in way over your head, but it's a little late to worry about that now. You have a decision to make. But you also have three weeks before an answer is expected. Tonight you'll just let yourself enjoy the post-date bliss and you'll worry about the decision tomorrow. Or the next day. You'll get to it. Just not tonight.

***

Taglist: @queerponcho @avengersinitiative2012 @stressed-cherry @animechick555

[scrollonso]

i have come to the realization that waiting room by pheobe bridgers is the most first kiss strollonso song ever.

let me explain.

If you were a teacher, I would fail your class. Take it over and over 'til you noticed me

I feel like the hint at a teacher-student thing shouldn't be taken as a taboo in this context because (not only is the age gap smaller but) lance truly does what he does for the attention and praise he gets from nando in return, he continues to fail because every time he does he is noticed by the "teacher"

If you were a waiting room, I would never see a doctor. I would sit there with my first-aid kit and bleed

This mainly makes me think of lance crying in nandos arms after he dnf, holding on tight to him as he "bled" but not necessarily "seeing a doctor" (talking about it) because the best thing for him was the "waiting room" (fernando)

I wanna be the power ballad that lifts you up and holds you down

He wants to be fernandos everything, his motivation, his friend, his lover, his supporter, HIS SUN.

I wanna be the broken love song that feeds your misery

He wants to be something fernando continues to come back to no matter what, like a broken love song fernando adores and even though it can hurt he cant stay away because it is his favourite

And I can wish all that I want, but it won't bring us together

As of right now in the au lance isnt even aware of his own feelings let alone the fact fernando feels the same, no matter how much he tries that longing and craving he has for more doesnt disappear because he isnt aware just how much more he needs

Plus, I know whatever happens to me, I know it's for the better

As lance continues in his rookie season he becomes used to losing, used to retiring early, used to fucking up, while fernando continues to win, but he cant bring himself to care when he goes and sees fernando on the podium

And when broken bodies are washed ashore who am I to ask for more, more, more?

When both of them have been hurt, been through things, struggled, had their own negative thoughts about the feelings they'll soon come to terms with, who is lance to beg fernando to be more than just friends and coworkers?

But you're breathing in my open mouth, you're the gun in my lips that will blow my brains out

Fernando literally takes lances first kiss. He's the first pair of lips lance has ever had on his own, the first person to hold him this way, touch him, love him, soothe him, praise him, his first everything, if this doesnt work out its going to kill him.

I wanna make you drive all night just because I said, "Maybe you should come over"

In the au lance lives in geneva switzerland like in real life and fernando was visiting mark in queanbeyan australia WHICH IS A 36 HOUR FLIGHT AWAY THAT LANCE TOOK WITH NO HESITATION JUST TO SEE FERNANDO A WEEK EARLIER THAN HE WAS SUPPOSED TO.

Wanna make you fall in love as hard as my poor parents' teenage daughter

He knows fernando is older and has most likely loved someone before but he cant help but want nando to love him as hard and passionately as he loves fernando (HIS POOR PARENTS' TEENAGE SON.)

She'll be the best you ever had if you let her

This could truly go both ways, with fernando being more expierenced and willing to do anything for lance with no hesitation and lance not knowing exactly how to love but willing to do anything to show fernando just how much he truly loves him.

I know it's for the better. Know it's for the better

With lances internalized homophobia in the au he believes that convincing himself he truly just looks up to fernando is for the better because admitting he's in love with another driver would be insane

[acowardinmordor]

Flip the Board - pt 3

Part One - Part Two

This is going to have to migrate to Ao3. I'm incapable of keeping things short. I'll try to catch everyone in tags when I post part four, which will flip this to posting by chapter, rather than by scene.

----

Eddie didn’t skip as he rushed out the side door of the school, headed for the parking lot, but it was close to it. Dustin was standing with his back to the school, next to the van, imitating Harrington’s frustrated mom pose, with a lunchbox hanging from his left hand, and his backpack over his shoulders. Max was leaning against the van, while Lucas argued, and Mike glowered. 

Good progress, but they needed to get moving and were two party members shy of a successful departure.

Eddie hurried over, clapping to bleed off the excess energy, then flung open the door. Ignoring the random stuttered confusion, he snagged his supply and shoved it under the driver’s seat, then reached for bags and whatever else they had on them. 

“What the hell?” Max asked as he yanked the skateboard out of her hands.

“Chill, Red, I’m not stealing your board, you’re coming too.”

“No, really, what the hell?” Lucas added. 

“Shh, Sinclair. Hold your questions til the end of class. Dustin, you’re three for five. Did they not want to skip out? I don’t care. They have to. Do I need to go back for them? Come on. Chop chop. Where’s Robin and Wheeler?”

“I’m right here?”

“Wheeler the Elder,” Eddie amended with a flap of his hand, “You, Sir Michaelmas, are already accounted for.”

“Okay, Dustin, what shit is this?!” Mike snapped. He turned to face off with Dustin, and Lucas turned with him. “You said this was Code Red.”

Dustin was his favorite. 

Kid didn’t blink, didn’t hesitate, didn’t even glance at Eddie for confirmation. Which was one hell of a thing since it was Dustin, who can, did, and would question everything he encountered -- all at the top of his lungs. It wasn’t like Eddie took the time to explain a damn thing after telling him to get the others. Yeah, Dustin tried to ask something after Eddie told him to get the others, but lunch was ending and step one had to start immediately, so Eddie sprinted out of the theater and trusted that Dustin would listen. 

“It IS a Code Red.”

“How the hell would he even know to say that? He probably just overheard you talking about something and thought it would be a good joke.”

“It isn’t a joke,” Dustin insisted. “This is real. He knows something, and it’s serious.”

“Nancy graduated last year, but we’re supposed to think this is real?” Lucas said.

Oh shit. 

“Just because he doesn’t know everything doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Steve gets things wrong all the time and we still listen to him!”

Maybe this meant that the vision thing wasn’t real. Eddie scrambled backwards in his head, trying to figure out if he knew that or not. He saw her around all the time. Around the school all the time. She was in Hawkins during spring break. 

Whoops? 

Apocalypse canceled?

Oh wait. 

No. Dammit. 

He remembered this. He already knew this. Wheeler mentioned it after a couple campaign sessions. Damn. So much for hope. For a second he thought he hadn’t received some insane prophetic revelation.

“She’s working for the paper right?” Eddie interrupted before Mike could yell. “I knew that, sort of. A bit. I knew she was in Hawkins. That counts. It isn’t relevant to this. Got confused. Don’t complain, Wheeler junior, would you rather I know everything your sister does? I know you hate it when Steve talks to her, would you rather it was me?”

Mike’s eyeroll was the most ridiculous, but Lucas and Max joined in. 

Dustin was officially Eddie’s only child now; steadfast little shithead.

Eddie clapped again. 

“Right! Dustin! Where are the other two?”

“Okay. I told the others.” Dustin scowled a promise that all this good behavior was going to be repaid with the mother of all favors, but he answered, “Robin wasn’t sure when Steve finished his shift. She only knew it was before class ended today. She went to call him and see if Nancy was in the newspaper office. She’s either gonna show up with Nancy in a minute, or she’s going to be out here to let us know where Steve and Nancy are.

“And,” he continued, “The rest of Hellfire is pissed at you. Gareth said he was going to plan a coup for Hellfire and for Corroded Coffin. I am being very patient right now. It is taking everything I have to sound This Calm, but, Eddie, Dude, you need to start answering questions before I think you’re a Russian spy.”

Eddie blinked. 

“Uh.” Blinked again. “What do Russian spies have to do with demo-monsters and the Upside Down?” The kids all jumped when he said that name. He waved his hand, clearing it like a bad smell. “Dammit. Okay. Never mind, gotta learn about the communist infiltration later. Mayfield?”

“What now, Munson?”

“Don’t with that tone, Red. You have your walkman with you? Put it on. Kate Bush. Running Up that Hill. It’s your favorite song. Keep rewinding and listening until we can make you a loop tape.”

“What the hell?”

“Just put the headphones on.”

“Why should I listen to some dipshit who didn’t even know about the Russians?”

“Because you’re in trouble. The life-in-danger kind of trouble. Not the ‘you’re grounded’ kind.”

She snorted. For a second, Eddie saw how the others hadn’t noticed. She was good at fronting, if he hadn’t seen her before, he would believe it. 

“Have you been having headaches? Have you been having awful nightmares and thinking you’re hearing things and been thinking about how maybe it would be easier if--” He stopped before he outed any secrets. She heard what he didn’t say, and the suddenly serious look on her face was confirmation. “Just do it. It’ll keep you safe.”

Lucas had her walkman out already, skipping past the need to understand and lunging for her bag the second Eddie persuaded him. Good. That was good. Lucas would be good at this, and if he stuck with her, that was better odds on saving a second one. Their plan, using her, using a kid as bait for the interdimensional hell wizard was bullshit, and he wasn’t doing that again. No fucking way.

He knew the bats dropped, but he also knew the ground shook and there was a noise like the world tore apart right at the end. 

That was the last shot of the movie that arrived in his brain half an hour ago. A sound like the world screaming, louder than Dustin’s yelling, and then; a cafeteria. 

Maybe Max and the others pulled it off. Maybe they didn’t. He wasn’t gambling on this stuff.

“Eddie.”

“Dustin.”

“Are you going to explain stuff? Cause I’m trusting you right now, but even if I was okay not knowing what the hell, and I’m not, and you know that, even if I was going to be okay with it, no one else is going to be.”

“Yeah. You don’t know about this stuff,” Mike added. 

“I didn’t,” Eddie tossed back, stressing the past tense.

“And you learned about all of this while standing on a table in the middle of the cafeteria?”

For once, Nancy Wheeler’s ability to instantly override any conversation she entered was a blessing. Eddie didn’t know how to answer Mike’s question except with a plain ‘yes’ which would do exactly nothing to clarify any of this.

“Munson, if this is some kind of a joke, I will personally ensure that you do not graduate,” she announced as she joined them, deadly serious. “You have no idea how serious this is, and you can’t decide to use it as a prank the day before Spring Break because you think it’ll be funny.”

Eddie turned and smiled, “Ms Nancy Wheeler, you’re looking as delightfully felonious as ever.”

“Munson.”

“Not a joke,” he cut her off. “Robin, where’s Steve right now?”

“Well he was at Family Video, but I called and told him Dustin called Code Red, and I think he tried to spontaneously teleport to the school to help before I finished the sentence. Luckily he smacked into the edge of the counter, so he stopped to listen for a sec, so I told him to go home and we’d meet him there. But that was a couple minutes ago, so he’s probably breaking driving laws and freaking out right now. By the time we get there, he’s going to be at least half as freaked out as I am right now.”

“What is going on?” Nancy hissed.

“Normal Hawkins shit, apparently,” Eddie said, “It’s the end of the world and I know what’s coming.”

“Bullshit. This isn’t a joke. I don’t know how you found out about any of this, but this isn’t one of your games!” 

The fizz of victorious energy he floated on tempered by a few points. Eddie heard the sharp edge of Nancy’s voice, and held it up against the fear as she described Vecna’s plan. There were similarities. She didn’t believe him yet, but she believed it was possible. 

The others continued bickering while he and Nancy squared off. 

“He isn’t joking,” Dustin repeated stubbornly.

“Oh, so our DM suddenly knows about the Upside Down and we’re just supposed to trust he isn’t making it a story?” Mike yelled.

“It’s Eddie! Of course we trust him!”

“Well,” Robin dragged out the word, “some proof would be nice.” 

“You want proof that I’m not joking, Nancy?” Eddie hummed a little, and kept his focus on her. Goddamn, at least this bullshit was giving him some top shelf opportunities for dramatics. He waited until the quiet got a tiny bit tense, then quietly, simply, said, “In 1983, your shoe boxes were full of shoes. Now they’re full of guns. Pick them up on the way to Harrington’s, would you? All of them.”

“What.” Her face froze, blank.

He had more things he could say, but if he could convince Nancy, he figured the kids would shut up until they got everyone in one place. She was scary enough to buy him a little more time.

“Am I wrong?”

“How do you know that?”

“Told you. End of the world and I know what’s coming.” 

She nodded once, cautious and serious.

Eddie clapped his hands loudly to break the mood, and turned back to the gremlins. “Max, Lucas, Robin, you’re with me. Dustin, Mike, go with Nancy. ”

“No, get back here, Munson, how do you know that? How do you know any of this?”

“Yeah, sorry, I would, but we’re on the clock. I’m not gonna waste time doing this song and dance twice aaaaaaaand, tragically, for me, but excellent news for Henderson; I need Harrington.”

[spiteslucanis]

tag game! choose some of your favourite lyrics and list them below

tagged by @ronandreams tysm dear!

i have a master doc of my fave lyrics of all time that's currently about 28 pages long so uhhh i cherry picked some absolute faves AND recent faves to put here <3 i also have a separate tag where i occasionally post about lyrics that make me particularly insane

tagging (no pressure as always) @zhalar @scarymovies @gayvampirate @miwtual @greensaplinggrace @mykinkiskarmas @daenerys-targaryen @queencalanthes @kazzsbrekker @the-maidofmischief + anyone who sees this and wants to! just say i tagged you

all time faves

new order, "true faith"

I used to think that the day would never come I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun My morning sun is the drug that brings me near To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear I used to think that the day would never come That my life would depend on the morning sun

pet shop boys, "this must be the place i waited years to leave"

I'm listening to the words I thought I'd never hear again A litany of saints and other ordinary men

mika, "good guys"

If we are all in the gutter, it doesn't change who we are 'Cause some of us in the gutter are looking up at the stars

orville peck, "nothing fades like the light"

Time goes by, I wanna rise up And I know why things change And I know why I stay the same And I know everything must die But nothing fades like the light

the amazing devil, "inkpot gods" (so many TAD ones to choose from but i picked this since i have a whole ass tattoo of it)

And what you hear is not silence It's just the trees waiting to hear what next you'll hum And what you see is not the dark It's just the gods upturning ink pots 'cause they know what you'll become

camel, "west berlin"

And I'm looking out over West Berlin Feeling freer now than I've ever been When the sun sets over West Berlin I'll be leaving, I can't come back again

metteson, "second heart"

Why do I let my lips touch lips impure, like I've never seen a fire before? Why do I always have to burn before I learn how to let you go? Why do I rush to lay myself down bare, like I have a second heart to spare? Why do I always have to burn before I learn how to let you go?

and a few new/recent faves

metteson, "naturally"

It must be easy to notice It must be obvious Like a meteor coming Not some flicker of dust It must be something frightening But still a dream like the open sea Some people struck by lightning But nothing comes natural to me Nothing comes naturally

ethel cain, "sun bleached flies"

What I wouldn't give to be in Church this Sunday Listening to the choir, so heartfelt, all singing God loves you, but not enough to save you So, baby girl, good luck taking care of yourself

taylor swift, "who's afraid of little old me?"

So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream "Who's afraid of little old me?" I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean "Don't you worry, folks, we took out all her teeth"

depeche mode, "blasphemous rumours"

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours But I think that God's got a sick sense of humour And when I die, I expect to find him laughing

[baelpenrose]

Project Praetorian 42: Adaptation

Jared learns about his new surroundings, Mia reads up on her situation. Beta read by @canyouhearthelight

Jared

As he was racking the rifle in the armory, Jared quietly reflected on what he’d seen during training. Tomorrow was supposed to be the much-dreaded “testing” - and he wasn’t excited, but was still interested to see how bad it was, see if all the hype was just some kind of hazing these pussies were talking up.

He had to quietly admit to himself, though, that the Jew who ran the show among the conscripts seemed to know what he was doing. He must have had advance training to take command, whatever everyone else said. He didn’t doubt Mark had been freely picked by the others, not anymore. It didn’t track with how controlled opposition worked, anyway. No. It made more sense that Mark had gotten some advance training as a tactician and a leader before ever arriving, been told to keep it secret, then his confidence and skill had won him the trust of the others.

He’d attempted to voice this to Jonathan and Vergil, who had both looked at him like he was insane. Vergil because Vergil was apparently a system brat who trusted everyone on this base who’d been here longer than him, and Jonathan because the giant had no concept of loyalty to anything higher than the people he was with. 

Even as he began taking off the body armor, starting to change into the day wear clothing underneath, he noticed the muscles on almost everyone else - he wasn’t embarrassed of his own strength, he’d had to be constantly working out with his cousins and his uncles, staying in shape. He’d been able to keep up with these guys, which had been something to be proud of. These guys had gotten military training and Jared had kept up with most of them.  Mark had a set of scars along his chest that had indicated some truly fucked up burns, and he’d seen the scars that the others had before.

He knew the stuff about superpowers wasn’t a joke when he saw the freak make the cripple start walking around, but…damn.

As they started walking out of the locker rooms, he waved at Casey and jogged closer to her, even as he saw Mark tense.

“Hey. What’s for dinner?”

“Don’t know, haven’t checked the mess board yet. Why?”

“I thought you cooked?” 

“On special occasions, yes. I don’t have time to do it every day, and especially not on double-duty days when we train and then have school. Especially when we have testing the next day.” 

Jared took that in, mildly disappointed. “Gotcha. I just figured with the look and all…”

Casey snorted. “Not really the Leave it to Beaver deal you were hoping for?” 

“I gave up on that when I saw you with the shotgun. You’re still one of the few girls here who has any kind of traditional femininity and I know you’re the one who cooked last night, so I thought that’s what we did here.” 

“We, already?” Casey raised an eyebrow. “You seem quick to jump on the bandwagon of this team. Done bitching about the entire leadership structure?”

Jared bit his tongue. Not even close, but fighting her wasn’t going to get anywhere. He’d wait til he could expose the sham to the rest of the team and then help them break out of this shitshow. Hell, even Xavier didn’t even seem half bad, and Jared figured the blacks of the world could definitely do worse for a leader if Xavier wanted the job of leading them all back to Africa instead of this diversity bullshit of keeping them all in the same country with him.

“Sure. But I’m also just kinda…resigned to it? Not much point fighting it, not yet.” He threw a look over his shoulder, at Mark. “Hey, any interest in a date, sometime?”

Casey doubled over laughing. “No, not a chance. I’m with Mark, actually. Even if I wasn’t, I’d still say no. I’m really…not into the white nationalist thing. Don’t want to be a tradwife, in love with a Jew, bestie is a black girl, math adding up?” 

He felt a flash of anger. “Why’d you lead me on then? With the giggling, the flirting and the…” He took a step back as a point in the grass in front of him caught fire and for just a moment a static burst crackled through his belt and set his teeth on edge. 

Casey snarled. “I didn’t! That wasn’t flirting! I was asking a question! I thought it was weird how quickly you’d come around, and honestly I was hopeful that you’d gotten your shit together. I don’t think you realize how bad your situation is. I’m gonna tell you this now. We had to work really, really hard to get the housing we have now. To get any of the things we have now instead of being in the horrible situation we were in when we first came here. A part of it is that we have to be believed as a team that works together, cohesively. If you start contradicting Mark or Xavier or Echo in front of the adults on base, if you start showing friction, you are putting all of us in danger.” Her voice was quiet, desperate. He thought, for a moment, she was being vulnerable, then she added. “We’ll kill you. I don’t know you, and I don’t like you. But I’m not wild about seeing someone my age die - even less if I have to do it.” 

Jared grunted, thinking. That was actually good information - not worth using, though. At least, not yet. He figured he’d get through the testing and make his own judgments before he decided if he’d make agreements with the staff here over Mark. He didn’t have enough information to figure out, yet, if Mark was in with the staff or was some kind of defector from the globalist government or if something else was going on. If nothing else, Jared figured he should know what was going on before he made a play. 

Still, on the subject of dating, since Casey was taken and he’d only get hurt pushing it. “Any chance with the tall redhead with the rosary?” 

Casey glared at him and he felt the temperature around him elevate. 

“She’s thirteen. On the topic of things that will make me kill you.”

“Oh, fuck.” He back-pedaled rapidly. He hadn���t known that - he’d thought she was older, she looked older, she was almost as tall as he was. “Okay, okay. Never mind. Way too young for me. I can wait. FOR ANOTHER CONSERVATIVE WHITE GIRL TO BE CONSCRIPTED HERE, NOT FOR HER TO GET OLDER!” He rapidly added, hands raised. “Jesus, I’m not that bad. Swear, I thought she was older, and in my defense, she is tall and at that age where people do just kinda look anywhere from ten to our age depending on when the growth spurt comes in.”

Casey almost. Almost smiled at that. “I can believe that even you draw the line at that, sure. Side note, you find it pathetic that you’re hoping someone else winds up here?”

“Not really ‘hoping’ as much as ‘I know it’s gonna happen.’ And it’s the only way any of our dating pools expand, apparently.” Come on, no one could blame him for just rolling with THAT inevitability and being prepared to cope with the fact that no one outside the team would be close enough to their lives to date, right?  

Echo started approaching Casey, and Jared turned away from the conversation as the two hugged and started glaring at him. 

Mark looked at him, coldly, imperiously, as he rejoined the boys. “So, here’s the thing. Don’t like you. Really, don’t like you. Vergil was impressive - he eavesdropped that whole conversation and repeated it to me as it happened. Offhand - Casey wasn’t kidding. Our situation is delicate. I can’t have you causing problems, not now, not ever. You’ve been here a day and a half, and already, you’ve called Shiloh something you only survived because Jonathan didn’t hear it and you didn’t sign it.”

It had been during training, and only one person had heard what he’d said about the magic retard - Vergil, specifically, who must have relayed it to Mark. For that matter, what kind of a cuck was this guy that he wasn’t pissed Jared had made moves on his girl? Wait, no…that shock. Mark simply didn’t need to press the point when he had already demonstrated that he could do that without speaking.

Jared kept the irritation off his face at being alpha’d successfully. “Alright, long as I’m stuck here, can I have permission to be honest, oh Lieutenant?” The acid in his voice was obvious and Mark’s posture went stiff.

“Go for it.” 

“I know we’re up against aliens. I know this shit’s real. But come on. I got grabbed up by the deep state, who are running a super soldier program that makes use of child conscripts, and put at the command of a Jewish CO who just HAPPENS to have been selected by his peers for command AND who is collaborating with our captors, even if he swears its not by choice, AND that deep state organization has ties to the UN and may or may not be puppeteering things in the US and other governments. All things that people in my circles have been screaming about for years, and now I’m supposed to believe the rest of it is all bullshit?”

Mark blinked. Opened his mouth, then closed it. “You know. I’ll admit. From your perspective. This does look. Remarkably. Like a confirmation of what you believe, or would if Franklin, Stricken, Gideon, and all of the staff were not, to the best of my knowledge, goyim. I have no idea why you’re acting like this shit was my idea.” Mark sighed. 

Then Mark snapped up his gaze and glared at Jared. “Okay, since Imperator has decided to piss me off by making your arguments almost valid regarding every non-demographic element of your beliefs, tell you what. You watch me go into the tube tomorrow, then go in yourself. If you still believe I’m in on it after Koleth’s Wacky Sci-Fi Torture Special, or indeed that ANYONE would sign up for this, you and I can honor duel, no powers.” 

Jared blinked. The sheer confidence of that statement chilled him, just a little. As did the cavalier disdain behind the admission, the implication that Mark knew he had nothing to worry about. “What do they do?”

“I’ll leave that as a surprise. Hey, isn’t Leon supposed to be talking to the newbies after training?”

“No, after class.” 

“Fuck…”

****

Mia

She’d finally sat down and stopped crying in frustration when she’d managed to communicate to Echo that she needed some sort of explanation of everything that the team knew, in Spanish. Instead of speaking to her, Echo had plopped her down in front of a computer, opened a document that was titled something in English, and then pulled up a translation matrix - way better than Google Translate, like for government work - and ran it for Spanish.

The title read, “Fast Track Introduction for Newbie Praetorians. (We are adding as we go)”

Mia almost giggled as she saw it. Then she started reading. Experiments - mutations. She’d grabbed her rosary at that part. The organization that had done this was called Imperator, and was a Special Task Force for the UN Security Council, formed in reaction to a threat from some kind of alien empire. They’d recently learned more about the alien empire - it was called the Ascendency. She only had to read about it for a little while, the caste system, the brutality - to recognize aspects of history from her own country when the Spanish had arrived. 

The document took time to explain who everyone was: Dr. Leon, Sgt. Curtis, the deceased Volkov, every other Praetorian, Director Franklin, Financial Officer Stricken, Operations Officer Gideon, all of them. And then, at the bottom, a note. “Mia, and any other English-second-language Praetorian who reads this. English is harder to learn as a second language than ASL, and all of us ‘speak’ ASL - so learn ASL first if you’re going to learn one. You’ll pick it up much faster, and that way we can all communicate. Conveniently, none of the on-base opposition speak it. There’s a link here to a training video we found, one that Imperator doesn’t fuck with, to start teaching basics.” 

She clicked the link, set the subtitles to Spanish, and started thinking. Okay, okay. This was a lot less annoying to figure out than she remembered English being, back when she was in school. She couldn’t help but wonder, though, if this document was out there, was ASL really a secure way of talking? At least some of their opposition would probably have bothered picking it up.

Okay, working with these people wasn’t going to be terrible. The physical training hadn’t been bad, even if she’d mostly stuck to talking to Echo, she had a feeling most of these people would be pretty easy to talk to once she could actually fucking talk to them. If nothing else, the general tone of the document indicated they weren’t any happier with being here than she was, and their description of an escape indicated that they’d already fought and tried it only to be forced to come back. 

All of which endeared them more to her than she’d expected, even being stuck on that plane with the mostly-nice-but-incomprehensible Kimmy and Micah. 

Still. There were words in the document that didn’t have Spanish equivalents, and it noted that a lot of what Echo had learned hacking the Ascendency computer was probably incomplete because, as best anyone could tell, there were only very rough equivalents in any human language for the concepts involved.

Would she still speak anything that would be recognizable to anyone outside this little group by the time the war ended? If she even saw it end? 

[twilightknight17]

Today on P3R, we’re technically covering three play sessions, because I didn’t have time to make a post before Katsucon. But a lot of that was Tartarus, so it’s not actually too much. ^_^

(Katsu pictures are coming at some point.)

Anyway, we’re off to Tartarus to train some and play with the new special attacks we got last time we were here! And get a little higher while we’re at it, so, let’s g--

Oh god oh fuck not you

It’s not the boss version, so it’s fine, but I didn’t think things showed up as enemies until after they were bosses???

The other reason we were in Tartarus was to get black quartz to trade to the guy in Escapade for a discount on fashion glasses. (Is there somewhere that will buy my gemstones? The police station won’t, and I get why, but like… I just have these.)

She looks very nice in those, actually.

Back at school, we’re still having a time. Odagiri of the student council has moved on to accusing the vice president over this one cigarette. And is not being diplomatic about it.

I’m gonna mess up his social link just because I keep not agreeing with him on these things. X’’’D

I’ve also met Keisuke Hiraga of the art club, who is a very good artist, but his dad is a doctor, so he’s also… Very Fussy. XDDDD

I can now hang out with my friends in the dorm, and I still think it’s weird that it calls them social links when I can’t start any of the girls’ links yet, and I can’t actually link with Junpei and Akihiko. I had tea with Mitsuru, though, and watched DVDs with Yukari, read manga with Junpei, and cooked with Akihiko. It’s nice! And some of them do give me stat boosts and items, so that’s cool.

I’m smooth now~

...well, shit. Here we go.

Minato’s theurgy skills are apparently the fusion spells, which you’re allowed to use even when you don’t have the actual personas with you, which is nice. The two I have so far are Orpheus and Apsaras’ Cadenza, and the Jack Bros doing a standup routine, which is cute.

I also got my first introduction to the Reaper. None of these floors really seem large enough to worry about it, so I think this appearance was scripted. Easy enough to get away from, though.

Nice.

Wait, what??? Can it do that??????

Once we found the missing girl, we escorted her back to the entrance, and I kept going til I found the next barrier floor. We’re done for now, so it’s time to go work on some more requests. Liz has a good one here. :D

I love that all the Velvet attendants have a soft spot for Jack Frost.

We also get our first intro to Koromaru!

Apparently he walks himself each day, since his owner at the shrine passed away. He stops for pets, but then carries on with his routine all on his own. He’s such a good dog. T_T

Ikutsuki drags us away from fussing over Koromaru to have a proper SEES meeting. He’s concluded that the Full Moon Shadows we’ve seen so far follow the Arcana from I to IV, and that there should theoretically be eight more, spanning from the Magician to Strength. And if we destroy them all, it will get rid of Tartarus and the Dark Hour, and we will have saved Iwatodai from Apathy Syndrome!

...they are us. There’s not much more we can say, Ikutsuki.

Yeah, let’s go to the mall after that seriousness. We can check out a new social link!

...oh yeah because this won’t go wrong.

School is still kicking my ass because this school is insane. But Junpei gets it, at least.

I can’t spend time with Fuuka unless my courage is badass-level, because apparently her food is just that scary. She wants me to be a badass, Mitsuru wants me to be a genius… Is Yukari gonna want a casanova or something? X’D

And even though Mitsuru wants me to be a genius, she called the police because she thought Junpei’s messy room meant someone had broken in.

And, as my last act before leaving for Katsu, these guys have made their first appearance, executing people in the Dark Hour based on requests on a revenge website. I don’t know how they wake people up from the coffins, but Tattoo Man over here is blasting people with a real gun, so that’s gonna be a problem~

.

[KATSU INTERMISSION]

.

I return from my convention, happy and optimistic, and school is immediately still full of bullshit. XD

You know, Keisuke, if you dad doesn’t want you to be an artist, and wants you to take over the hospital, why does he have fancy paintbrushes?

Anyway, Keisuke is about to win an art contest and gain the opportunity to study art abroad. And his dad is actually encouraging him to study abroad, so now he doesn’t know if he wants to do it because he doesn’t want to do what his dad wants. It’s kind of ridiculous, but the Fortune Arcana is all about choices, so… I guess.

We’re also off to fashion club to hang out with Bebe, who is actually surprisingly lovely despite being French. I appreciate his utter weeaboo enthusiasm. But… his aunt passed away unexpectedly, and he doesn’t know if his uncle will support letting him continue to study abroad. So not only is he upset that his aunt is gone, he also might have to leave the country he loves.

Neither were you, dude! It’s okay!

This is not quite NieR Automata levels of “everything is bad”, but things are pretty bad. I mean… people are just leaving the Lost laying on the sidewalks. :/

The Lost are the ones with Apathy Syndrome, but everyone else seems pretty apathetic, too.

I took Elizabeth to Iwatodai Station, and we had a lovely time.

The takoyaki lady can see her, which, don’t worry, ma’am. Just showing my weird cousin around. She won’t tell me what’s in the takoyaki instead of octopus, though, because apparently the knowledge would be detrimental. Which… okay, Liz. Thanks. That’s not worrisome at all.

When last I saw Maiko, she was planning to ask her parents why they were getting a divorce, in the hopes of being able to fix it. Which, not a great plan, but I couldn’t actually stop her. She wants to talk now, though, so we’ll see how that wen--

WHERE IS HE

Maybe we can throw them into Tartarus. Fucking hell. Maiko wants to run away from home so that her parents are forced to work together to find her, and I am NOT allowed to beg Mitsuru to let her stay at the dorm. This sucks so much. She wants me to keep her plan a secret, but good lord. This is going to go so badly.

I go home to stew on my thoughts and play computer games for babies to up my courage.

However that works. X’D

Lastly, I’ve reached my first choice that could potentially reverse a social link, I think?

We commit scandalous hand-holding, and it’s nice. Chihiro clearly has a crush on me, but I don’t know who I want to date, yet. OBVIOUSLY, I have my preference, but since my preference isn’t available, I dunno. Fuuka is nice. Mitsuru is… great, but also SO far out of my league. XDDD

Pharos came back for my one-week full moon reminder, so I guess that’s up next. They keep implying it’s gonna be the Lovers shadow, since couples are passing out and someone mentioned Shirakawa Boulevard, but I thought Hierophant was next.

Ah, well.

[mangoyakult]

tw reality vent dump? i went deep on this lowkey

lets talk about the effect (my) phone addictions have on perceiving reality. you become so used to the online world and are engrossed in it that you cant fathom the reality of the real world. once a blue moon you get the opposite of dissociation where you come to the realisation that real life has an end and it will keep moving on without you, without your favourite shows, ESPECIALLY the bit about how it will move on even after your shows, loved ones, etc end.

its hard to talk about it when im NOT currently in this state of mind so if i remember i'll come back and reblog and talk about it more when i am in that state of mind, but like it just hits you like a cement truck that (and i know it sounds cliche) we are just on a floating ball in space.

everything you know will come to an end and you wont know about it because i believe you experience "life after death" in the same way you experience life before you were born. in the same way that blind people dont see black, they see nothing, its not there. if you close one eye, you dont see anything out of it, thats what i believe death will be like, and its the one thing keeping me from going insane when i get these thoughts but also it makes me spiral even more.

i think about how i'll miss loved ones but then i remember i won't miss it because i won't experience anything. times like this i wish i believed in a religion, i wish i believed in the afterlife, and a part of me does, a part of me believes in ghosts and reincarnation.

wild take that might offend several people but the same way that over hundreds and thousands of years humans fled to religion to distract their minds from these thoughts, i flee to my phone and silly blorpos to distract my mind from these thoughts. except im wayy less productive than them lol they full on built massive cathedrals and monuments and statues dedicated to these ethereal beings and i just go haha funny orangutang with the play dough ur so silly.

i don't stay up all night because i have an addiction to games and my phone, i stay up all night til i pass out because if im not entirely tired ready to pass out, my mind will be racing with all these horrible thoughts i cant remove from my brain and i will wake up with puffy eyelids.

idk these are my thoughts this is what happens when you take away tiktok doom scrolling from me

and i know a lot of you will tell me to get hobbies and friends and hang out and have fun but when i get these "episodes" i genuinely feel like thats the ONLY thing i can do. if i'm not watching my blorbos or hanging with friends, or crocheting or gaming or drawing, life is meaningless and why am i waking up 6 mornings with no plan waiting for the end of the week where i can finally see someone and hang and be happy

i think i'm in a state of burnout, i only have one spoon per week and i'm already using it to go to work because yeah i work like twice a week i'm not home all day, i have uni i go to occasionally, but its so tiring and though i am as far away as possible to suicide (remember my little fear of death above?) i just want like a break month where i can do nothing and chill without any pressures

i think about moving out and growing up and possibly having kids and a partner and i feel as though i'm not prepared for that. mentally i'm 13 and i just want to go to high school, play with friends, yap about gravity falls and other hot shows of that era

i physically can't envision myself as an adult yet i am one, i physically can't wrap my mind around simple concepts most adults understand, like taxes and bills and a lot of things. trust me i've tried! and now i'm on my fourth year of tax evasion because i just don't know how they work!

i gotta stop talking bc lowkey i'm getting myself into this damn mindset and i have work soon and customers are damn near horrible and i have to fake a smile for them

[thatwasntverycashmoneyofme]

𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄

❥𝗌𝗇𝗂𝗉𝗉𝖾𝗍 : 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗏𝗂𝗌𝗂𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗁𝗎𝗌𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖺𝗍 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄 (𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍)

{ 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 — 𝖻𝗅𝖺𝖼𝗄 𝖼𝗈𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝖿𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋, 𝖽𝗂𝗋𝗍𝗒 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄 (𝗉𝗋𝖺𝗂𝗌𝖾/𝖽𝖾𝗀𝗋𝖺𝖽𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇), 𝗉𝗎𝗌𝗌𝗒 𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗐𝗃𝗈𝖻, 𝖽𝗈𝗆!𝗈𝖻𝗂𝗍𝗈, 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝗈𝖺𝗍 𝖿𝗎𝖼𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖺𝗌𝗉𝗁𝗒𝗑𝗂𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇, 𝖼𝗎𝗆 𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝗌𝗊𝗎𝗂𝗋𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗏𝗈𝗒𝖾𝗎𝗋𝗂𝗌𝗆. }

"Fuuck obiitoo fuck~!" Your hands found the top of his head tugging against his silky black locks, not hard enough to tear from the scalp

His deep voice rupturing your eardrums. "Thought I told you not to touch me brat? And what did you call me?" You looked to see a scowl painting his glazed face

You whimpered apologies. "'M sorry daddy 'm so sorry didn't mean it." He hummed in disbelief and went back in between your legs, sucking on your clit like a pacifier.

Struggling to hold onto something your fingers grasped for anything, not wanting to ruin your husband's desk, you settled on your nipples pinching and twisting them

Rutting your pussy against Obito's face, your slick getting all over him, jerking as you approached one of the many orgasms that day

Your legs clamped his head, your hips stuttering as you begged him to stop. "Daddy please please please~" He ignored your thrashing and flailing

He clenched his arms around your thighs holding you in place continuing to eat you out like you're his last meal. "Ahh fuucck~"

You tried scooting back to get away, lifting your legs to kick him off, he took that as an opportunity to keep your legs lifted, placing his hands under the back of your knees

Crying out as you felt an uncomfortable pressure, you hit his arms pleading for him to stop, which of course he didn't, quickly leading you to another impending climax

"Shit daddy wait." Feeling a stream of clear liquid enter his mouth Obito pulled back, his tongue flopped out to catch more of the sweet liquid. he furiously circles your clit til the stream ceased

He slapped your pussy forcing your legs to close. "Open them now." He demanded as you whined, tears withdrawing from your eyes, spreading your legs as they quivered vaguely

When they were fully spread he slapped your clit twice holding one of your thighs. "Get on your knees brat." You got down from his desk

Legs buckled completing your order, knees meeting floor somehow avoiding the liquid you squirted. You chuckled a little looking up at Obito who held a smirk a soft snicker passing his lips

"You know how I like it right?" Obito looked sinful his appearance rugged; button down shirt wrinkled with the buttons undone, dress pants and briefs down to his ankles

The contrast of his eyes glowed inside of the dimly lit office. you bit your lip looking at the five course meal of a man that slouched in the chair, looking even finer with your arousal decorating his lower face

"I asked you a question didn't I?" You bat your lashes gazing at Obito's indignant features. "Yes daddy and of course I know how you like it." He hummed displeased. "Then get to it." You nodded

Arranging your position to get comfortable, you make eye contact grabbing Obito's dick. your thumb spreads the cum around his tip kissing it, he smirked down at you

You run your tongue along the skin of his shaft trailing back to the tip wrapping your mouth on it, circling your tongue, the somewhat salty tang tolerable

Deep throating him you gagged hearing him lowly groan, drool dripping to his balls that your hand slipped up to massage

You hallowed your cheeks bobbing up and down on his dick, watching as his eyes fluttered close, he thrusted up making you gag purposely

You lifted off him maintaining eye contact, his eyes harshly opened as you smiled before you spat on his dick your hand smearing the substance sloppily

Obscenely loud noises escaped from your motion. Obito threw his head back letting out an insanely loud raspy moan, almost choking when you put your mouth back on him throwing neck

"Damn brat you really know how to suck a dick don't you? Your lips look so pretty wrapped around it, can you even breathe?" You let out a loud pop removing himself from your lips

"Just for you daddy, yes I can breathe." You cheese up at him going back to task lightly squeezing his dick, stroking as you bobbed feeling it throb making the heat between your legs more prominent

"Shit sweetheart let me fuck your throat. Let daddy give you all his cum, 's just for you." You attempt to nod your head. now placing your hands on his thighs, he stood hunched over you

Hands firmly grabbed your face beginning steady at first grunting softly, he picked up the pace as you choked on his dick, the throbbing in his shaft intensifying

"Damn it brat take all this cum fuck take it all ahhh~" he growled booming voice filling your ears as he stilled, overfilling your mouth. your nose pressed to his pelvis

Trying hard not to pass out from lack of air, you held onto his hips gathering air into your nose, you gulped what you could of the thick white liquid

He plopped onto the chair once again sighing contently. He collected the cum that found itself in the corners of your mouth and on your chin with his thumb.

Sticking out your tongue he put his thumb on it, observing how your lips wrapped around him before popping off, a Cheshire grin plastered your face as you swallowed

You leaned forward staring at his semi hard dick before licking it clean pulling away to watch it jump, provoked by your action

He tsked fixing himself watching as your eyes glazed over having literal stars in them "You did good brat so I'll reward you when I get home later today."

Standing up on slightly wobbly but stable enough legs, you fixed your sundress pulling it over your breast straightening out the bottom, you bent to peck him on the lips

He grabbed you by the throat kissing you hard. his tongue dominated yours, you pulled away biting his lip staring at his eyes that rolled to the back of his head

"I gotta go now or you'll never get any work done." You pouted, compelling Obito to pull you close and smack your ass. "Always smart aren't you?"

You chuckled with a nod. "Your lunch break was over more than an hour ago you know?" Teasing him as he unwrapped from around you

You slowly walk away heading to the door. "I'm the boss sweetheart, I'll do what I please." You hum touching the knob. "Duh I know that daddy, bye now."

"See you at home brat— and thanks for lunch." He smirked as you felt your face heat up. "No problem." You left closing the door behind you.

You met the redden face of the new temp secretary that you offered your husband to hire, Suigetsu, who now buried his face into the computer before you greeted him

"Hello Suigetsu how are you doing today?" You gave him a soft smile. "Uhh yes I'm f-fine Mrs. Uchiha and same to you? I hope the day is t-treating you well?" He stuttered out

"The day is treating me exceptionally well, truly. Have a great rest of your day." He ogled your thick ass as you walked off, hips swaying from side to side with a sigh thinking to himself.

'Shit the boss got himself a trophy. Now how am I supposed to hand him this paperwork with a boner?'

𝗌𝗉𝖺𝗆 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾𝗌, 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌. 𝖣𝖮𝖭𝖳 𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖺𝗅, 𝖼𝗈𝗉𝗒 𝗈𝗋 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖾𝗅𝗌𝖾. ©𝖼𝗂𝗍𝗒𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝖺𝗅

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (29/10/23)

veeeeeeeeeeeeeery late this week I know it's my own fault really, I was warned by my buddy mega that yozakura would be a dense read and take a while but I didn't listen and underestimate how long it'd take, I should've started during the week but I only started reading on saturday NIGHT so no way in hell I was gonna be able to catch up.. by the time I went to bed on sunday I was on 111/200 so oof.. also didn't mon tue or wed so that's why the post is so late but anyhoo

green - new series/new to me pink - catching up

Anime

Frieren Ep8

very good episode like usual, even more for me cause of all the action. looks like the next one will also have quite a bit of it so I'm pogged up

Undead Unluck Ep4

bro that episode went absolutely INSANE?? HELLO the sakuga was so good I was losing my gourd I'm so glad uu got the adaptation it deserves also my queen yuuki absolutely stole the show, really showing why she's up there with the best of the best, it's gonna be sad not getting more gina til like cour 4 but it'll be worth the wait

Pokemon Horizons Ep26

pretty chill episode after all the excitement from last week's cour finale, mostly just setting up the plot for the future. tho we also got a new op and it goes absolutely crazy

Adult Precure Ep4

alright episode, mostly about what saki and mai have been up to, saki being engaged and mai breaking up with her bf. I know that in their shows, from the very start, the girls have crushes on boys (ofc it couldn't be otherwise cause toei are cowards) but you gotta understand how deep in the yuri mines I am. hearing them actually say they're engaged or dating a man gave me whiplash

Imas Million Live Ep4

good episode as usual, the best part was getting a lot more screentime for some of the girls that were barely in the other eps, tho it still wasn't that much and since this isn't following the og format there's always gonna be some girls that won't get their time to fully shine sadly. also got a couple momoko moments™ including the box so that was funny

Manga

Mission: Yozakura Family Ch1 - 200

wowie that was.. a lot better than I expected. honestly went in not expecting much, and after having just caught up to jujutsu from 1 to current I wasn't expecting yozakura to be so good since jujutsu is so much more popular but, hot take: I think it's way better like sheesh. I talked about it on my server but the only I thing I think jujutsu has over yozakura is the battles, otherwise it's beat in every category. I like the art a lot more, even from ch1 yozakura had waaaaay better paneling than even current jujutsu. and the whole cast is a lot more likeable. like from jujutsu I cared about gojo, nanami, maki and okkotsu. in yozakura we get cooldown chaps were the different family members do their own stuff and interact with each other which helps you get to know them more and in doing so liking them more, while still using these chaps to move the plot along so the pacing isn't too slow (outside of that little side detour with the past heads that got cut short prob by the editor but yknow)

anyway rambling and just repeating what I already said in the server but TL;DR it's good, glad to be caught up, and looking forward to it wrapping up in the near future since we're close to the final arc

Witch Enforcer Ch1

I started this mostly on a whim cause the art is good (artist's on here too btw @ camellia0x0) but I was pleasantly surprised. there was nothing surprising about the story but it was delivered well and the art was solid through the whole chap (tho the paneling is very basic but I'll give them a pass since it's their first serialization [only some one shots before]) and the concept of a witch making and using mechs is fun. looking forward to seeing this artist's growth as a mangaka, hopefully the series doesn't get axed too early

Undead Unluck 181

good chap, especially the end tho. never thought this could be a possibility but it makes total sense there'd be a reverse evil union on the side of god. never thought about it since we had under before. really curious to see how the next chap gonna but it's prob just gonna be introducing all those baddies that people will fight in the final arc