#if you get what part of the game im referencing im giving you a big hug

[rotten-downer]

⚠️ TW: Child death, blood, emetophobia ⚠️

💊: This is the big bad thing that haunts Horus to this day. It's dark, please tread carefully.

Platform

The sound of the Constable's heels hitting the cobblestone of the train platform echoes through the empty station. Usually, the stations were bustling with people, but for the past week, the tracks had been cold and the platform empty, the only exception being the Bobbies occasionally patrolling the area for any children who slipped through the cracks.

Horus was exhausted, his head pounding from the tension. He hadn't slept well the past few nights; how could he after all the children were taken away? God, he could still hear the desperate cries of mothers, begging him to allow their children to stay. But he had to turn down every single one. It was a risk, and if he allowed one child to stay, the backlash of the people would be insane. And besides, if the Germans had found out, that wouldn't do well for anyone, now, would it?

He didn't see the point in continuously patrolling the area. If a child had somehow slipped through without being detected, surely they would have been found already? Horus believed this was a bit overkill, but just a few more days and he would be able to go back to his previous patrols, that's what they had told him.

Horus begins to whistle softly to fill the silence as he walks. The station was large, so the Bobbies had been spread out amongst the area, leaving Hunt alone with his thoughts and the quiet around him.

His body goes rigid as Horus hears a soft thud off to the side, his eyes instantly going to the source of the noise. It was probably just a rat….but he had to check.

Horus takes in a breath, then begins approaching the dark corner. There was a door, but it appeared to be jammed. There was also a small hole in the wall, but it looked as if something was recently wedged in it to plug it. Just check real fast, it's nothing, Horus assured himself.

His hand wraps around the old doorknob and he slowly twists it, but the door doesn't give. He shakes the handle a few times, but still with no success. Inhaling softly, he braces himself, then slams his shoulder against the door. It takes a few tries, but eventually, the door falls open and Horus stumbles into the small space.

He looks into the room, and his eyes meet large, fearful ones. His chest heaves under his uniform as he stares at the small figure, huddled up and clinging a stuffed animal to his chest. There were a few more scattered around on the floor, and a half eaten cake sitting beside him.

It was a child.

Horus and the child stare at each other in a moment of shocked silence that seems to stretch on forever, before the world shatters into movement.

The child tosses his toy to the side and sprints past Horus and out the door, running as fast as his little legs could carry him. Horus blinks his eyes in disbelief, snapping out of his shock as panic envelops him. He begins chasing after the child, calling out to him in a low, authoritative voice.

"STOP!"

The child doesn't stop, doesn't even look back. He runs with great speed, adrenaline and terror giving him a much needed boost.

He couldn't get away, Horus thought. If the Germans found out….

If they found out, it would be bad, wouldn't it?

Very, very bad….

Horus pulls his truncheon from his belt, raising it above his head.

"I SAID STOP!-"

In a quick moment, the child glances back with horror-filled eyes, and the weapon hits him in the head with a great amount of force, his skull cracking loudly from the blow.

A spray of blood hits Horus in the face as the child drops like a weight onto the ground, and the constable skids to a stop, his eyes wide as he stares down at the unmoving figure in front of him. His hands begin to tremble, and his wide brown eyes look at the bloodied bat in his hands before he quickly drops it as if it were on fire.

Horus takes a small, fearful step back, his eyes staring at the body as a small pool of blood begins to form under the tiny boy's head. When Horus realizes that the child isn't even breathing anymore, nausea fills him and he clasps a gloved hand over his mouth before throwing up off to the side. His body lurches as he retches, and he could barely hear the sounds of approaching footsteps over the rush of blood in his ears.

"Are you okay?.....It wasn't your fault...The Jerrys would have done it anyways…."

The words of the other constables attempting to reassure Horus were going in one ear and out the other. His eyes shift back to the dead boy, and he feels his shoulders shake as a soft, broken sob leaves his lips.

He couldn't believe what he had done...

[chongoblog]

SCREW IT IM GONNA TOOT MY OWN HORN FOR A BIT

So it's been like a month since I put up my last big mashup, and the response has been awesome. I wanted to talk about all the little bits I put in there, because frankly, I put a lot of love into it, and I want to share it! Here's the video of the mashup with the music video (which is a big part of it.)

First of all, shoutouts to Shoocharu for the incredible animation for the original MV. I've found him to always have the best Game Grumps animations, and his abilities work perfectly for this music video.

Okay, now just to talk about all the Silly Jokes and Bits and Stuff. A lot of these were noticed by comments (and shoutouts to them! I love seeing people get these)

-Ska Cha Cha is used as a reference to the name of the actual song "Transcendental Cha Cha Cha". Close enough.

-A couple samples are used multiple times at different points in the song. For "Tik Tok", "Ska Cha Cha" and "Down" it makes sense since it's the chorus of the song. However, I also bring back "I'm Blue" and "Toxic" because in the original song, those samples are played over the lyrics "The universe is getting colder, colder. Still every universe somehow got Zumba". Those lyrics are repeated at the end of the song, showing how what was once madness is now being embraced. I thought playing those samples again with the full mix was appropriate.

-And yes, in the two appearances of The Void in the music video, MEGALOVANIA plays because he looks kinda like Sans.

-"words, words, words" was a super interesting inclusion. At first I added it because of the lyric "Just relax..." which is a lyric during that portion of Transcendental Cha Cha Cha. Also, not only did "here's two facts" thematically work well (since the song was about to discuss two separate universes) but it also perfectly aligned rhythmically. Also, that "words, words, words" line might be one of my favorite pre-choruses ever.

-I included Cruel Angel's Thesis at someone else's suggestion, but I'm really glad they suggested it. I actually start it with a somewhat heavy low pass filter before slowly fading off it because I thought it sounded cooler.

-I included "Harder Better Faster Stronger" during that portion because Tom's vocal effects sound similar.

-Cha Cha Slide matches perfectly since the lyrics of Transcendental Cha Cha Cha are also "Slide to the left....slide to the right". Incredibly proud of the little breakdown I included during the mix-up portion.

-"Sometimes this song, it sounds like" segment is referencing myself, since over the years I have developed my own patterns. Sometimes the song does indeed sound like Crawling (plus funny commercial next to it. Again...patterns) and sometimes it does sound like All Star (shoutouts to Star Shop)

-The Mighty B! Theme slaps actually.

-I felt like I had to include the Peanut Butter Jelly snippet, since "it's everything and nothing, it's a baseball bat" sounded almost like it was a direct reference to it. I wanted to include the original Tom Cardy lyric on top of that one both to hammer home the joke and also because I thought the harmonic vocals layered perfectly onto Peanut Butter Jelly Time would make for a nice touch.

-Every time I saw someone notice that I put the "God Dammit" directly after Never Gonna Give You Up to imply that he was mad about getting rick rolled, I gained a year of my life.

-Keeping the "Blink!" from the original song I felt was useful to help kinda punctuate the wildly different samples I was using.

-"Money Game" and "Money Money Money" being played over the French Revolution. Completely unrelated, but have you noticed how much wealth inequality we're facing here in America? That's interesting.

-"Closer" and "Closer" is such an easy joke. In fact it's so easy I've done it before. Did it anyway lmao

-During the big buildup, "Larger Than Life" was used mostly because I hadn't used that song before and I thought it was time. "Dare" was put in because I think that the vocals work really well to naturally create a sense of buildup (unless it's the Live version). "Brain Power" was put in to replicate the noise gate that Tom put on his extended note.

-Monkey Watch and Mr Brightside. Again! Patterns!

-toes

So yeah that's Transcendental Fever Dream. I'm sure if I had more time and excuses to talk about all the nitty gritty details and choices made I'd do it, but I think this is a pretty big breakdown. Something's always felt kinda Big about this one. I think that save for Super Smashup, this is the best mashup I've ever made, and I think it acts as a sort of a culmination of these last 7 years or so of mashups. No idea what the future holds, but if it comes from love, then it's gonna be great.

Thanks for reading.

[itsyagurlchip]

٠ ˚ ※ ๋࣭  ᯓ⚝ ⋆ .˚✰Down in N'awleans ٠ ˚ ※ ๋࣭  ᯓ⚝ ⋆ .˚✰

✰⋆⁺warnings: alastor(!) ace alastor and reader(!) cussing(!) its hell man idk what to tell u(!) very cultural (!) reader has a strong accent(!) reader is more modern than alastor(!) black reader NOT CAJUN SHE IS NEW ORLEANIAN (!) mentions of gore and blood(!) fem reader(!) angst(!) grieving (!) fluff(!) comfort(!)

✰⋆⁺Im so sad that the only new orleans part of alastor we got to see was a few of his music preferences, and the overused dish jambalaya (as good as it is, its referenced too much when mentioning Louisiana and i sorta hate it-) soooo, as an artist i took matters into my own hands 😈 btw, this is long, so enjoy a piece of my culture!!!

fun fact: did you know that Louisiana has about 400 festivals and events annually? (my favs are strawberry fest, mardi gras, and crawfish fest) btw if anyone is struggling to read it: mardi gras is pronounced madi-grahs. (like ice spice grah 🤪🤪/jj)

✰⋆⁺ Oh what a joy!! Your love Alastor is in hell with you!!! After a whopping 58 years after Alastor's death at 33, with you dying barely at 88 before your birthday, you've finally have found your soulmate!! You're a bit different though, you have a stronger accent, and your tone is..."slangy". Times have changed, but has your love? Of course it does! Alastor couldn't love you more, lovers being apart for too long is straining to one's mental afterall.

"His sister's black, but she is sho'nuff pretty. Her skirt is short, but Lord her legs are sturdy. To walk to school, she's got to get up early. Her clothes are old, but never are they dirty. Living just enough, just enough for the city." You sang, walking along the streets of hell. That song by Stevie Wonder had always brought you comfort...

It gives you a sense of memory, deja vu if you will. Not that you could remember. But you being a young black girl, in the struggles of 1916 brings a comfort to your heart.

...

You closed all eight of your eyes, your afro bouncing as you walked. Walking walking walking. Your dark dress would lift up slightly from the ground, wisping away curiously.

It was pitch black, like your gloves that ran from the tips of your fingers, to the upper part of your arm. If you squint, one could see hints of clear web being shown by light.

People would question why you still wore black even years after your husband's death. Now in hell, you had black skin, and spider appendages on your stomach and hips. How ironic.

You still never answered the question.

Alastor had died at the young age of 33, leaving a 30 year old widow to mourn his passing. That man chiseled his way into your heart and croaked years later. All you could do to keep your emotions in check, was continue your dear husbands work.

The radio station he worked at had begged you to host his morning shows. The town was distraught of his absence. And there's a depression? People were sad, now even more broke, and at the hands of phoney mayors and presidents.

Alastor left a big hole in the role he had as the "Darling of New Orleans". And so did the Bayou Butcher...

What else could you do? Each life you blew off was in honor of your amazing husband. Soon radio was bigger than ever! You'd broadcast the annual 8 killings of casualty due to the new 'Wynoriffic Widow.' This had led on for about 20 years before old age came into play.

You killed 162 people in the name of your love. Never caught, yet never forgotten. You became a big shot, killer and announcer.

While you never had the intrusive thought to do so, you finally understood why Alastor felt a rush of righteousness when he came home after his activities with Mimzy.

Damn Mimzy, the hooch she is. (💀💀)

Let's be honest, the name "Widow" hit too close to home due to recent events, but thats why you only killed eight people per year! And to make things even better, you set 8 things that would happen. 8 games. 8 lines all connecting into a web. And to make things worse for the police, your extermination cravings were sporadic, and not so scheduled.

But it all played out the same.

Something subtle. like a box of rotting spiders at the victim's doorstep.

Next would be a missing, or perhaps "disappearing" passport and driver's license...if they could even afford one.

Now there would be 3 warning letters, the classic "i know what you did". Simple as that.

The second one would be more detailed. Writings of the person's actions would be made for a week before the last and final warning was made.

"Im coming" you wrote in squirrel blood, giggling everytime the person panicked, not knowing it was you all along.

Then nothing....for 2 weeks or so. To lower suspicion per say.

Then its the time to strike. Waiting until exactly midnight to knock out and drag your victim to the very same swamps your beloved died in. You'd take the damned soul, and torture them for as long as you pleased. No matter how many screams, how much blood, their life was in your hands and yours only.

Finally, you'd pray. Pray that this offering of love would suffice for being ripped apart for so long. and as for cleaning up your mess, you'd thank the gators and the wolves for "aiding" with your hobby.

But you began getting old, despite exercising regularly and eating the things your body needed. You couldn't go out and fufill your duties. The one thing that made you happy, second to Alastor. And soon enough you died, welcoming your new fate.

The only thing you questioned was your young appearance. You died of old age, so you didn't understand why you looked like you were 30 again.

You hummed, mimicking a trumpet as you continued your short strides. And here you are now! On the way to reunite with your love once more... it's been far too long.

Welp, it won't be long before you see your life again (despite being dead). Adjusting the big puffs and coils on your head, as well as smoothing down your dress, you knocked onto the hotel door.

Your smile was so big! (You cheeks were starting to hurt from subconsciously doing so much, trying to keep memory of something you once lost).

You looked around yourself as you waited. There was a golden fountain of a majestic dragon creature, with building itself huge yet comfortable. Despite the lights in the front being a bit bright, this place pleased something in your mind.

The door opened for you to see...a short blond man?

"Hello? Is this the Hazbin Hotel?"You asked, restraining and chaining the accent you had, not wanting to be perceived as "ghetto" for the first time.

"Why yes~ Welcome my dear, and what brings you to this place?" The half-pint of a man reached for your arm, kissing it three times before hooking your arm. Your face involuntarily scrunched a bit before coming back to that neutral smile you has once before.

"I would like to see the hotel manager. Alastor, correct?" You asked as the man who tried to pull you forward, even though his head barely surpassed your chest. And surprisingly, for his height i mean, he pulled you along easily.

The lobby was a plethora of shades in red accented with bits of gold, black, and white.

"ugh His office is near the top of the hotel or something Can't miss it. The place sorta looks like a swamp."

"Of course" you mumbled. Thinking about the greenery and fireflies Alastor would take you to see.

"What was that?"

"Oh nothin'!" You smiled, already make your way to the prolonged destination.

Thank god there was an elevator, or you would've screamed. If this place was lavish and beautifully decorated, yet no easy place of transportation for inclusivity, or simply to better convenience of the people living here...

Thought pisses you off.

Hearing the elevator dig, you adjusted yourself again before walking out and looking towards the hallways. Ah, you could see what he meant. While every other door looked like a basic hotel door, the one at the end of the hallway was covered in green glowing floorboards.

It made you tear up, knowing he still had some kind of connection to his home. The fireflies danced around the entrance, enticing you to walk quicker in those heels of yours.

Reaching the door made your body paralyze and vision blur for a second or two. You took a deep breath, and knocked 2 times with a pause, knocking 3 times slower.

It was something you and Alastor did to ensure that the police wasn't at the door, back when you weren't interested in killing.

You hear shuffling, then came a fall and a thump. You hear a woman exclaim in worry. With rushed footsteps came an open door, revealing the one you lost so long ago.

He looked much different, much more red ('to hide the blood' you giggled to yourself'). His skin was more gray than that toned brown, you look up to his head to see...

'is this mf wearing a bob?'

"Alastor! Are you alright?" A doll-like woman came out, in a red suit but the brightest aura.

"Love...?" He ignored her, his knees trembling slightly with his eyes watering.

Next thing you knew you were tackled to the wall, embraced with such longing, infatuation, and a whole new level of care.

"Hello sweetheart..." You combed through his hair, brushing over some antlers, making Alastor shiver in your hold. You smiled, embracing him back with a somber sigh.

"Soooo- The Dappa Demon gotta milf for his troubles?" A white and fluffy man in pink stroller over.

"Um Angel- I dont think now's the time for that-" The Doll woman tried.

"And who is you?" You asked, genuinely curious. Alastor was still hugging you, silent, which is disturbing for a man with a voice like his.

"Da name's Angel Dust sweetpie!" He smirked, looking you up and down. "Why you cuddlin' up to Raspberry Daddy(™) like that?"

"Well, Angel, this raspberry daddy is my husband!" You explained, watching the lanky spider (which you now noticed looked like a spider), blanch before guffawing.

The woman, who you keep on forgetting about, gasped with, which you really hoped wasn't, all of her chest and possibly lungs.

"ALASTOR HAS A WIFE!!! WOW! ITS SUPER NICE TO MEET YOU!!!" She bounced up and down, her blond hair flew up along with it. Speaking of, the short man has blond hair too... welp, aint non of yo business so- "MY NAME IS CHARLIE!! THIS IS THE HAZBIN HOTEL!! AND- AND-"

"Charlie, suga mallow, pause pause! Its nice to meet you too baby!!" You started, "Can we just talk about this, as well as the hotel, in a better setting?- I think doeball needs a moment"

You looked down at Alastor, seeing his ears pinned downwards as well as feeling a small damp puddle on your shoulder.

"Oh! um- okay!! That's completely fine!! Yea! Go do your husband, and uh, wife things!!" Charlie said, pushing you towards Alastor's office once more, prompting you to hold your husband bridal style. You would hate for him to have fallen.

"So we aren't gonna talk about how Alastor isn't an edgy inhuman prince of darkness, gifted to the immunity of normal mortal affection?" Angel asked, still in shock.

The door promptly shut. You looked around his office, which was more of a radio station with shelves and a desk. Everything was in tones of brown, red, and burgundy.

The only thing that set it apart was the glowing green floor, with pale green tree moss around the corners. You smiled as a group of fireflies flew past you two.

You walk towards the chair, sitting down with Alastor's body in your lap, head in your shoulders, like long ago.

You move your hands to his ear, running your fingers through his fur, as well as using your bottom row of arms to turn on the radio, sitting so silently on the desk.

Luckily, for the both of you, calming slow jazz was playing.

"You ready to talk now?" You whispered quietly. His ear twitched before he sat up.

"Yes dear..." He said, his voice barely carrying through the air.

"Well... I wanna start with- where'd you go-?...that night i mean."

The room went silent. You continued to rub his back, feeling his boney spine despite the layers of clothing he dubbed.

Soon words flowed out of him. Like a radio host.

The story he told was one of improv, one he hadn't expected to share for a long time. About his killings, the dogs, his last sight. How his last wish was to kiss you one the lips once more.

And once he finished you told yours.

How much grief you were in. The sudden bloodlust you took after you figured everything out. The way you played with the town's mind. How every body you took was in sacrifice for him. The hope that your love would one day be connected once more, never severed again by dimensions.

The night was filled with silent sobs of two deceased lovers.

In the brief morning, you two caught up with each other. Alastor still liked a lot of the same things he did in the past, but you have changed a lot.

You have an accent. Sometimes you'll replace the word 'are' with 'is' and other times you say 'ain't', or nickname drop people. And when you get angry the accent gets even stronger, humoring him to your irritated dismay.

You can cook now! Before Alastor died, he would cook for the both of you. You managed to burn an expensive pan he got from his mother, he never let you lay a hand on the stove ever again.

You also were more...modern. Luckily not to the point where you were addicted, but it still pissed off Alastor that you had some form of flat screen. You listened to rap occasionally, as well as musicals.

But yet, he couldn't judge you for these new qualities you have. You still have that lovey fro, your beautiful and plump lips, and the way your eyes flow across the room almost brings his rotting heart back to life.

Right now in the kitchen, you two were making beignets in coconut oil. As you rolled the dough out, Alastor questioned your uniqueness of cooking.

"Darling, must you stuff the pastries with dark chocolate? Wouldn't the powdered sugar be enough?"

"Don't worry Baby! m'Made these several times!" You replied. You grabbed the strainer, tossing the raw dough into the hot oil.

"And why coconut oil specifically?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. You rolled your eyes with a loving smile.

"Cuz! It makes it taste better! Not sure how to 'xplain it, but it just does." You flipped the beignets, ensuring they were golden brown before placing them on the brown paper.

"If you say so, my Dear."

You began to hum softly, to a jazz song you heard on the streets, swaying slowly as you worked. Your husband then held you from behind, swinging with you.

His head was buried in you neck, ears flicking with each tickle of your hair. His arms came underneath yours, holding and pressing your hips.

Plating the food, you set it down in favor of dancing with your love. Dancing to the silent song of adoration, fondness, and care.

Behind the kitchen door, which was slightly propped open, you could hear the excited ramblings of the hotel's owner, making Alastor groan quietly.

"WOW!! They're so cute!!! Omg, they are so sweet together!! EEEEK!!" Charlie exclaimed, struggling to keep her voice down. this made you chuckle sweetly, making the woman utter an apology before leaving.

This is all that you wished for. Your husband, loving and dancing with your soul again. Even if it took a couple of bluenoses to accept it. (cough cough Angel and Husk)

All you could think about were those bands, the trumpets, the parades, Alastor, the food and feel of your homeplace. All of it brang you back, and now you have even more to appreciate.

Dreams do come true, down in N'awleans. Even if it takes years to achieve it.

btw i gave her lore

thx to @sharkdukes on Ao3, i now headcannon that you can offer a soul to a demon, which is what reader was unknowingly doing. Which is half of the reason why Alastor is so powerful at the start in hell-

heavily inspired by @drowninnoodles 's Sugar and Sinnamon on ao3.

as well as @pheavampire for this hilarious art

(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و tags: @kittykittyanon @radicallxser @oleander-nin @towomatos @thealphagirl @ziipzeepzop-eez @spongejuice @amorisbackandbetterthanever @cyb3r-st4r if you would like to be added, check my blog. if you would like to be added, check my blog. SEE? I SAID IT TWICE!!

as for the playlist, if you couldn't read bc of the font, its titled: Wynorrifcly Widowing. (ik i didn't spell it right stfu) Please lemme know if there are any places where i forgot to finish thoughts.

©KAL pls don't steal, repost, trace, or whatever an art theif does. you can inspire yourself! just tag me to let me know<3

[batw1nggg]

this is just me being silly but im making a script for an essay video analyzing all of nagito's songs because i realized a lot of people dont even know about all of them especially poison i have absolute hope birthday and remaining cherry blossoms practically finished but i have no idea where to start with what poison is about lmao

if u do end up recording the essay PLZZZ LINK !!! i would love to see !!!!

ok so i’ll only be able to give a very surface level analyzation because i don’t know japanese and translations between eng and jp are always sort of janky, i might get some things wrong or miss some nuances (if anyone knows some japanese and wants to chime in please please do!!). but i can definitely give u the basic gist of it. translation taken from the danganronpa fandom wiki page. ok here we go

so the song takes place when komaeda kills himself (“I believe that hope / And will offer my pulsating heart / For the sake of that brilliance / I’ll tear apart my chest / Until the very last drop / Trickles down and wets my lips”, “I am merely watching over you”).

To me it seems like a summary of his thought process — he mentions wanting to “meet the biggest hope” (the hope that will overcome the despair of and end the killing game), how he has “no need for worthless things / anything ordinary and boring” (his thoughts on talentless people). those parts of the song are just outlining the basics of his worldview.

but, because this song is about komaeda’s death, it’s also inextricably tied to hinata. we see this most explicitly with the line “I love, and want to understand / him more than anyone else”. a main theme of komahina is their desire to understand each other.

That’s the really obvious hinata reference, but he also seems to be referenced more subtly throughout:

- “I have no need for worthless things / anything ordinary and boring / What meaning is there to words that will neither be deadly poison nor cure?” this is komaeda talking about how he thinks talentless people are boring, they’re neither shining hope (like the ultimates) nor crushing despair (like junko) and are just pawns in the game; but also, who exactly was it that chose to be neither deadly poison (despair) or cure (hope)? to create an ending separate of hope and despair altogether, to create a new choice, to focus on the future? komaeda’s asking what meaning there is to anything that is neither pure hope nor pure despair — anything that is not necessary to the cycle of hope and despair. hinata will go on to give him the answer.

- “When drinking poison poured into a glass will you drink it immediately or throw it away?” this one seems vague but I’m inclined to believe it’s about hinata because it’s followed by “I am merely watching over you / to whom the last choice is given”. the “whom” is very obviously hinata, he’s the one that makes the choice to wake up and then inspires everyone else to choose the same. that former lyric about the poison seems to be a fancy way of komaeda asking whether or not hinata will give into the despair of finding out the truth (drinking the poison) or decide to keep going despite it (throwing it away). he’s watching over hinata in death, entrusting hinata with that decision.

hinata being a core part of this song really speaks to how much trust komaeda was putting into hinata in chapters 5 and 6. i’ve already made a post or two about how komaeda’s faith in hinata to solve trial 5 and survive trial 6 was an integral factor in the game’s ending. komaeda can’t talk about his death without hinata being part of the conversation; hinata is the only one who’s ever tried to understand him instead of completely writing him off as insane, he’s a big part of komaeda’s life. we see at the end of the komaeda pov manga that hinata was komaedas last thought before death.

so yeah. to summarize: the song is about chapter 5. komaeda talks about his worldview, talks about how his worldview and faith in hope led to his sacrifice, and talks about his faith in hinata.

[ninjapaste]

dude your art is so GOOD!!! Do you take any classes or have any tips to share? that resource post you reblogged the other day was helpful but i've felt so stuck in my art. I don't know if you have anything u learned that just made something click for u or anything like that?

Tysm anon!!!👍

In terms of your questions, I apologise i advance for the long answer im about to give and possibly things you already know haha:

I guess in terms of what classes i take, Ive gone from GCSE to A level Art and design (Fine art), and both courses have helped me to learn the importance of observation studies.

However, its moreso all the art i practice in my own time that has played the biggest part in my art improvement journey. I adopted art as a big hobby around 2018, and really ever since then I tend to draw/create for myself every day, however big or small it may be.

I guess my first tip would be to indulge in a 'sketchbook' or space to work in freely, it could be any form but the importance is that its personal and can be picked up whenever. I find that having a sketchbook to draw in has really helped with productivity and creating new ideas. I think you can go into a sketchbook space with any mindset and it can work wonders, like for example if you wanted to focus purely on challenging yourself, you can do that! If you just, want to doodle without thinking, go ahead! After all, its a sketchbook for you and nobody else, so go wild!

My next tip would definitely be, when you are feeling stuck in art, to take inspiration from a wide range of different things be it in real life or on the internet, a building or a really cool tree, since I find it defintiely fuels the creation of new ideas/concepts that can provide a path out of that creative rut. I guess to an extent there may always be periods where you have that 'I have no idea what to draw!' Feeling, and thats okay! Sometimes its refreshing that helps the most. But I often see that the solution to being in a rut is usually REFERENCING, wether it be trying to accurately draw the anatomy of an arm or if I just saw a cool design/pose/style on Pinterest and i drew a bunch of wacky characters from it. In fact, I find that places like Pinterest or Resplash are such good resources to hone imagination and generally most art skills by looking at and drawinf from all the cool images (and get some of that inspo!). And if im not using Pinterest, im usually using an art book as reference! (The itsv and splatoon art book helped me so so much lol)

On the topic of REFERENCING, its mega important! Depending on imagination/memory feels pretty good at times but its always beneficial to have image references in your process when you find its good to have them. I woudl always recommend having a reference when drawing poses/expressions/anatomy because the more you use them, the more you learn about how an object like a face muscle, a torso or even light behaves and looks and the easier it is to draw/depict them.

The next tip is uh YOUTUBE, or any account/person who's art inspires you in particular. I found that certain channels like Ethan Becker, Marc Brunet, Marco Bucci and more have helped me the most to gain confidence in drawing and learning how to practice it better. Of course, theres a lot to learn from a plethora of other channels too, even ones that dont specifically promote themselves as teachers! Also, if theres a certain style/art approach or an artist that appeals to you, study it in any way you like! Analyse an artist's work or ask/find out about their personal process (or even watch a speedpaint/art stream)! Sometimes it can be a big inspiration booster and skill boost to do just that (plus the 'artist' could be any piece of media/thing too!! Like a game or something).

Ok ok last paragraph haha, on the topic of your last question. Thinking back, its hard for me to define any specific moment or thing that gave me a 'click' moment. Its more like a process of growth that starts with learning and understanding a new thing, then familiarizing myself with using it successfully/'correctly' by studying and practicing, so that eventually its like muscle memory or easier to use in my work.

Hope this helps!!! If theres anything else you want to ask, dont be afraid to dm or send another ask!!

[just-a-carrot]

Helloooo!!! I was looking for inspo for my own visual novel a little while back, it's set in a ballroom so eventually the keywords lead me to discovering save the last dance (and itch.io in general im a total noob to this lmao) i dont know what it was but it just like took a vice grip around me INSTANTLYY.

So I downloaded the main game today and I am actually silently cursing you because I got nothing done all day I was just like transfixed. The artstyle grew on me alot, and oh godd the character designs... God I love the designs, espcially Genzhou's. There's just so much love (even in every gruesome death scene lol) put into this it's almost difficult not to get obssesed...

Also sidenote I found it kind of encouraging almost to see that you're (self-proclaimed) older, I found that really inspirational lol. There's something that just makes me want to create and actually sit down and learn when I play your games. I guess I've always had this feeling of having all the time in the world but recently I've been feeling almost like it's too late to learn new skills (which is kind if ridicolius since I'm like smack dab in the middle of gen z). Regardless I guess your work made me realize the artistry in visual novels, I could keep going but I tend to ramble lol

ahhhhhhhh this is so sweet!! i got very weepy reading this, especially as i'm already feeling quite soft today as it was a bit of an anxious one... 😭💕

that's fascinating that you found StLD first searching for ballroom stuff!! i am always curious how people first find out about any of my games. i'm happy you enjoyed it, especially enough to go play the main game sob. i'm incredibly touched

and i'm even more touched that you've been enjoying the main game so much 😭💕💕💕 especially all the kind words about the art!! i've grown more confident in my art more recently but especially in the beginning stages of the game i was incredibly self-conscious and worried about it because it was rather odd-looking and didn't match any other typical VN styles. so that's really sweet of you to say. this game certainly has had a lot of love put into it (and blood, sweat, tears, my entire life... etc.). it is very much a big passion project and my eyes were perhaps too big when i got started, but because it dug itself so deep into my psyche and i also made some good decisions like releasing in parts, etc., i've been able to keep working on it until the end despite it taking me like 2.5+ years so far. i'm not even sure i can put into words what this game and chars have done for me and my life and the many journeys and discoveries i've made along the way

dkjfalsdkf yes... i am a millenial, i will say that much. though i don't often feel like one. except for the fact that i often have no idea what people are talking about or referencing and tend to be awkward and confused most of the time LOL this is also why my characters are all older, as well. i sometimes feel a bit strange since i feel much older than many of the others in the VN dev sphere (well, perhaps in age only, not really in mental maturity maybe LKDJAFLKDS). if this can give inspiration to others that are also a bit older though, then i am glad 🤣 i have spent much of my life going from thing to thing and never really knowing exactly what i want to do. case in point my current job has nothing to do with my master's degree. though the one constant has always been creation of some kind, whether it's drawing or writing (and now with games, doing both of those on top of scripting and coding and a bajillion other things lol). i don't think you should ever feel "too old" to do something. or to get started doing something. or to feel like you "haven't done enough" etc. i say this so strongly because i also try to reassure myself sometimes perhaps LOL it's also ok if you don't know what you want to do so you're just trying out different ideas that you're passionate about. so many of us just wanna find something that makes us feel fulfilled and passionate, that makes our hearts ache, that fills us with joy and motivation. so if you can find something that does that for you, no matter how old you are, grab it and don't ever let go lkdajfalskd

at any rate, i'm glad i could also help you discover more about VNs in general. i hope it will be helpful as you work on your own games!!! 💕

[igglemouse]

Get to Know Me - Sims Edition

I was tagged by @autonomousllama and @cactusblossom, thank you both for tagging me and I guess I am getting at this late but here it is!

What’s your favourite Sims death?

The old age death because it means a sim has lived like and are gently passing on! I also love that they give a little salute like “It was fun while it lasted but PEACE!” if I have a chance to give a salute and famous last words before I die I know I would!

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

Maxis Match not because it looks better but because it blends in with the game.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

Never! 

Do you use move objects?

I imagine it is hard not to when you are a competitive sims player lol.

Favourite Mod?

Hmmm, this is hard. I will say Wicked Whims though. I know, I know, you all think i’m super horny over here but really sex is a big part of life it is, one can argue, one of the most important aspects of life itself as one must have sex to create life (kind of at least) so WW really expands on that. Just get rid of the sex animations it adds, ignore that completely, it still adds an indepth menstrual system, attraction system, fertility system, etc! 

WW actually determines how many kids my sims will have for example since some are naturally more fertile than others so yeah!

2nd place is MC Command which is great for just having more control. I mostly use that to make over townies when I see them lol.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

The first one they released? It was either Luxury party or the camping one right? Whichever was the first one lol.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

DO IT LIVE! **** IT! WE’LL DO IT LIVE!

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

Oooh, I actually don’t make many sims since I play legacy and just rely on genetics but I will say Araceli! I made her when I relaunched a legacy and I spent so much time on her! I loved her! I thought of bringing her back in some form so we might not have seen the last of her actually!

Have you made a simself?

I have for the fun of it but i’ve never played it. I hardly make myself in games. I just always think of a character I guess.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

Dark brown.

Favorite EA hair?

If you go back I had a vampire in my story named Edda, she wears it. It’s the real short one but ummm, the short one. Most people know by now I do love short hair lol

(EDIT: Not sure why I referenced Edda...Laverne wears this hairstyle lol. There, that is a more recent sim) 

Favorite life stage?

Young Adult! EA just put all the fun in that phase though. 

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I am not that good at building...

Are you a CC creator?

I’ve made poses years ago!

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

I have simblr friends but part of no squad. I feel like a mostly outsider or lone wolf in the simblr community but im nice to everyone!

Do you have any sims merch?

I WISH!

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

I don’t think it has honestly lol.

What’s your origin id?

Igglemouse!

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

Hmmm, I don’t know! 

How long have you had simblr?

Since 2014 since the game launched in 2014 and I literally had a post the first day it launched.

You can even see this post here!

https://igglemouse.tumblr.com/post/96447498872/this-is-lourdes-fuentes-my-very-first-sim-in-sims

I’ve been a Sims 4 OG as the kids would like to say and my simblr has really flunctuated in all that time. I’ve had posts getting 100s of likes to now just around 10 lol, I’ve come full circle!

It’s kind of sad because @floofymilk-blog was a real good online friend I had known for years and she was someone you saw constantly liking my posts and commenting at first and she has completely disappeared from like...everything. So yeah T_T, from discord, from steam, from switch, and I always wonder what happened to her and seeing that post and seeing her in the notes there just makes me sad but...she was the biggest AC fan I’ve ever known T_T and a big Sims fan too!

She was Japanese and disappeared before the release of Snowy Escape and I wonder if she would have loved that pack :/

How do you edit your pictures?

I used to do A LOT more but honestly, I just gave up lol. Now I just use a reshade, add a border, and move on. Lazy, I guess? But I’m posting legacy content. What is called a Plotacy. If I hung up on editing every single picture it would slow me down a ton. You can see the story content I tried it was a lot more edited!

What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite?

Hmmmmmm seasons, yeah, Seasons!

I will tag @joannebernice - @mysimsloveaffair - @wolfavens - @wannabecatwriter - @lollipopsimblr - @thereesespiece

If you have done it already or dont want to no worries!

[minkkumaz]

I JUST DIED OMG MY FRIEND. dude omg bro okay dude so like dude bro!!!

my friend has been dating this guy right, and she had their first kiss like literally yesterday (i SWEAR im going somewhere w this) but basically she asked him to whistle and yk when u whistle you pucker out your lips?? SHE STRAIGHTUP LIKE KISSED HIM.

idk if this counts as a request but i swear it isnt u dont have to reply to this if it seems like one!! 😭😭

but omg what would the bonedos reaction be. LIKE I CAN SEE JAEHYUN EITHER STUCK IN THE 😗 FACE OR HES JUST LIKE 😧.

-🍉

STOP IT YOUR FRIEND IS SO BOLD OMG can she give me tips on how to rizz up yungyu like that🤔🤔

also i love love the bonedo boys with that, i dont consider this much of a req especially if im not formatting it all aesthetically HAHA so ill give u a little smidge here ^_^

also sorry if i went overboard or its bad LMAOO its like midnight almost 1 am here💔💔

sungho :

- this man is obsessed with you and he would quite literally do anything for you.

- he definitely didnt want to rush into kissing because he believes in the art of slow burn

- and though he would never admit to it he does really want to kiss you

- "sunghoooo do you know how to whistle? i've been trying to learn all day.."

- "darlings it's easy, you basically pucker your lips like this and-"

- you lean in to land a soft kiss on his lips, interrupting his train of thought

- i think bro feels like he just got hit with a heat wave bc he didn't know he could blush this much

- at first he wanted your guys first kiss to be special, but your quirky charm and tactics you used to get him right where you wanted him is what made him fall in love in the first place

- "gahh you're so cute darling, i might have to teach you to whistle more often."

riwoo :

- i don't think riwoo is the type to initiate a first kiss, not unless he was pep talked by jae or something (come on, jae is everyones wingman)

- he loves you so much, and i know as soon as that first is out of the way he will not be able to stop kissing you

- it's kinda early in the morning and today you are going with riwoo to the studio!

- birds are chirping, singing their lil song, which gives you an idea; very sudden, but an idea

- "riwoo you kinda remind me of a bird."

- "what's that supposed to mean?" he pouts.

- "nothing bad! you're just so cute whenever you are all smiley and singing its like a little bird tweeting. bet you could whistle like one too."

- "i think my singing is probably better than my whistling." he looks over at you to demonstrate, but you're already looking right back at him!

- taking him aback slightly, you plant a little kiss on his puckered lips then quickly skip ahead of him

- hes very dumbfounded, but already plotting in his head how he's going to attack you with kisses (in private, doesnt give me much of a pda guy besides holding hands ^^;)

jaehyun :

- this man has been secretly plotting against you to catch you in the most perfect first kiss ever

- unlike woonhak, he wants to kiss u with permission.. and on ur adorable lips (referencing the funnextdoor vid where he kisses woons head LMAOO)

- little does he know you're also planning to outsmart his ass

- the two of you are playing a game on the console in the living room, getting slightly competetive

- "if i win you have to sing me to sleep tonight!" you say mashing on the keys of your controller

- "babyyy you know i already do that for you."

- "guess i got you wrapped around my finger then!" you smile, passing the finish line with a big '1ST PLACE' on your screen.

- "this game is rigged!"

- "less talking more singing pretty boy" you snuggle yourself into the makeshift bed on the couch, jae on the floor with his back against the bottom part, looking up at you.

- "okay what song?"

- "the one i like with the whistling in the beginning."

- as jaehyun puckers out his lips to start, you lean in quickly to catch a kiss

- he has zero reaction, maintaining the same face you caught him in, before his jaw dropped

- you were giggling so hard as he gets up from his spot on the floor to heave himself on top of you

- "i was supposed to initiate our first kiss, babyyy!" he whines, leaning in to kiss your lips again

taesan :

- bro wants to actually kiss you so bad

- im a firm believer in down bad taesan

- and he really wants to kiss you

- but he doesnt want to make you uncomfortable, so whenever he finds himself pulling up your chin to look at him, he only smiles and pulls away

- part of you wanted him to kiss you, but you had a slightly better idea

- taesan was on the floor customizing a pair of shoes. he was whistling quietly to himself before stopping

- "hey what was that tune you were whistling? sounded pretty."

- "you're prettier, but it was just something i came up with last night." he responds fondly.

- you came and sat next to him on the floor, admiring his work.

- "can you do it again please?"

- "only for you love."

- he begins whistling, and you let him for a second because of how gorgeous the tune sounds

- but before you know it, youre pulling up his chin with the infinite rizz you have and kissing him on the lips

- BUT NO. he doesnt let you pull away

- he just smiles into the kiss, pulling you closer to him (and probably getting paint on the back of your head)

leehan :

- i think bro would be easiest to trick with this

- i feel like it might be obvious where i'm gonna go with this.. LMAO

- i am an avid supporter of the leehan fish prince agenda

- he is so in love with you, just as much as his fishies in his little aquarium

- one day you come visit him in the dorms, walking in to see him just admiring the small fish

- he sees the movement of your reflection in the glass, so when you come sit next to him he isn't very shocked

- "you're so interesting when you admire your tank."

- "am i?"

- "yup, you're starting to look like one too."

- "hey! taesan told me that yesterday."

- "give me your best fish face to really seal the deal," you giggle, "kinda like you're whistling!"

- he obliges, pursing his lips into a little kissy face, before you can lean your own lips against his!

- bros entire life played in his head he almost lost his chill guy persona

- leehan was staring at you with so much fondness as he was zoning out you almost got a little worried

- "hannie- hannie!"

- "you are so perfect, y/n." he grins, pulling you into another kiss (in front of his fish children smh)

woonhak :

- this might be a hot take but i think woonhak is similar to riwoo when it comes to first kisses. unless jae is there to hype him up he wont do it

- of course he wants to kiss you, he enjoys affection and god especially when it's with you

- nothing you could ever do would make him look away, you're just so you.

- on a fine ol day, you're sitting with him at the park hanging out!!

- both of you are kinda stuttery, but the conversation ends up flowing fast. neither of you know whether this hangout is considered as your first date as a couple, hence the nervousness

- nonetheless, you are both laughing and just enjoying each others company

- but NO!! you want something a tad bit more

- "hey this might be a weird question but erm-- can you whistle for me?"

- "oh-- yeah of course! what for?"

- "you'll see!" you squeak out

- woon is slightly skeptical, but follows through anyways, puckering his lips to start whistling, before nothing is able to leave his lips!

- a roadblock warning he didnt see: your own lips!

- the kiss is fast, but bro is stunned

- mrs rabbit has fainted

- mrs rabbit has fainted again

- he is lowkey stressed a little, but it turns into relief. smiling so wide the whole neighborhood could see <3

[chaoxfix]

for the author asks or idk what they're called: 18 and 22 :)

ty for the ask!! <3

18 - What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

from why do we talk if we're just going to lie

quote:

Tails pokes Sonic’s nose, looking at him very seriously. “Why did we spend so long learning to talk to each other if all you’re gonna do is lie?” 

Sonic stares at him. Then, he laughs. It took him a minute to remember what Tails is referencing — but he remembers, too. He punches Tails’s shoulder. “How long have you been waiting to use that on me, huh? Just waiting to give me a taste of my own medicine?”

“Aw, cut it out.” Tails feels heat creep into his cheeks. “It’s not like I’ve been waiting and planning it,” he lies. “And don’t ignore me! You’ve got a concussion, I want you to follow the light with your eyes.” 

commentary:

im really not the best with commentary bc i usually go for several low-level gut punches per chapter and just >:3c the whole time.

but for this one i do remember feeling pretty clever with the meshing of backstory/previous scene, and plot progression, and character notes. also, "he lies," says sooo much imo. i can clearly picture tails lying awake, pouting shortly after the previous scene and just scheming ways to get back at sonic for the lil red wagon. or maybe the first time that sonic showed hesitation in being looked after (saved from imminent danger, no sweat, but only big brothers get to put bandaids on their little brothers, not the only way around). tails sees it and thinks its stupid and unfair and plots from there on out.

...im also gonna take a part of the same fic that i haaaaaate and put it here bc i feel like i cant edit it out bc someone quoted it in the comments so now i cant delete it without a record of "waaaaait, that line doesn't exist anymore" . so i hate it, but it'll stay in there unless i finally get so full of self-loathing that i destroy this line like i should have all along. lol

quote:

Sonic snickers. At least he’s relieved, rather than getting mad at Tails for sneaking out. “Guess I should thank you – not sure how I would’ve bounced back from that. Think you can angle me back towards the giant killer robot though?” 

Incorrigible. 

Tails only learned that word recently, but man, it fits. 

commentary:

hate this part bc it feels ooc ...but also ic in a super embarrassing but way too relatable way. when i was young i used big words that were accurate, but i did it just to seem smarter, and it always felt way out of place. aka: cringe! i was a very cringe kid who grew up to only be a slightly less cringe adult. anyways tails would 100% do the same, but i think he'd only do it out loud in specific scenarios, and not alone in his head. so this is like, half and half ic....... but i hate it because i get war flashbacks when i read this line, bc i remember a specific childhood memory that illustrates me being the most aggravating know-it-all alive (9 year old version)

22 - Have you cried while writing a fic?

nope! only when watching movies or playing video games or reading. while writing im just >:3 during sad scenes

[nonbinary-sticks-the-badger]

id like to start this post with a link to a fundraiser masterpost and a reminder to do your daily clicks.

as i mentioned in my last post, i probably wont be posting about anything scu-related in the future, at the very least not anything praising it. if i reblog shadow referencing a keanu reeves role, my bad, ive only seen so many things with him in it. if i reblog scu art that i think is just mainline, my bad, i wasn't thinking. im gonna be honest i dont even think ill do little things, like stobotnik but in mainline context, though i will say, stobotnik mainline au may be like. the 1 exception??? because i do like the ship??? but thats the complete extent of what ill post, if that.

a part of me wants to say "but this is spoiling other people's fun!" and then the other part of me says "by not giving a platform to actors and a company that is complicit in genocide" and it shuts up the first half pretty easily. remember that considering everything, while yes it's likely to have very anti-military, anti-us themes, there is a chance both knuckles and sonic 3 will contain hidden pro-israel propaganda. if it wasnt obvious, i don't want to post about israeli propaganda.

for anyone who knows me personally, or at least messages me, im more likely to be more leniant seeing as. well. it's not public. but im still not sure if ill talk about it unless it comes up in conversation???

ik i have a handful of people here who are mostly scu fans, possibly even scu exclusive. ig im sorry??? i can understand why theres a lot of scu fans, so i suppose if you like scu but you also want to stop posting about it, may i recommend some OTHER things to try (this is a long list so buckle up:

hop (2011) has a similar plot to sonic 1 and has james marsden (who is also not a good person but i dont think even universal would care if youre pirating hop (2011))

a really good place to start is honestly the snapcube dubs!!! you might get a few spoilers from context clues but theyre a really fun way to get to know games a little bit! obviously, theres a big barrier of there only being 5 dubs of 4 games, but i feel like once youve watched the dubs you can sort of get into the rest of her videos from there (theres also. theres this one. this one series. that people like. btw.)

while yeah i recommend the games, theyre sort of hard to know where to start. all i can really say is, dont start from forces or frontiers, at least know the plot of sa2 and thats basically it. ig if you want to play EVERY game, you dont really need to play anything before sonic 3 & knuckles and even then you can still start from sonic adventure and learn the plot of s3&k

NiGHTS is fun but also youll learn nothing about sonic i just wanted to mention it

if youre more into the action, i recommend sonic prime (and also, a few fix-it-fics or rewritten endings)

i recommend sonic boom if you want the comedy* and the characters living (mostly) normal lives. also you can literally watch most of sonic boom for free on youtube idc if im biased i will die on the hill of it being the best sonic canon. yeah im even including rise of lyric. no i have not played rise of lyric. do not mention the wasted potential of the concepts or i will explode.

*no offense but sonic boom is way funnier. idc if im biased because the sonic films are honestly only a step up from mcu humour most of the time, if that

if you want lore, i recommend the comics rather than the games, seeing as its slightly daunting where to start with the games. for a slightly more sanitised and. ig "normal" experience, read either idw or post-reboot archie. but if you want things to get a little wild theres pre-reboot archie. the only archie comics ive read are sonic boom and NiGHTS, so im not speaking from experience. but. wow. theres a lot to unpack there

if for whatever reason you just want sonic thats completely different to the games, i recommend sonic the comic and any of the 90s cartoons!!! theyre honestly really fun and because theyre so early on in sonic history (?) theres so many inconsistencies

sonic the fighters is fun but also you literally will never have to play that ever and its hard to find anyway

im pretty sure ive mentioned every canon there??? and a few things i dont need to lol. but the point is, if you are a fan of scu, you arent immediately a bad person! BUT (and here's the bit you actually have to listen to): if you are posting and praising the scu, particularly the upcoming projects, you are giving a platform to a large chunk of zionists.

[jils-things]

okay waaait speaking of conceptualization- i wanna gush about my thought process when designing irene :3

so, back in 2019 or so? i cant remember well, but irene had a similar "skin" design to this but she was more akin to a water nymph with lots of vines hugging her, but i decided to revamp that design and make her more "undead" and i instantly thought of many things

1) ghost girl emma - easily one of my favorite skins for her. i love everything about it. a lot of the vines positions were referenced off this

2) grim fandan.go's "sprouting" - part of the game's plot was if a character "sprouted", they're dead, as in, gone for good. double death if you will, and i am a big fan of how they used flowers to represent this (and you know me with flowers) and instead of making them flowers, i decided to go for vines and thorns to make it less... "pretty" if you will (and i wanted emma's ghost girl skin to get the flower aesthetics, let irene have the thorns :3)

3) emily - yeah it was obvious. i even watched the movie recently to really "feel" for her vibe. i guess she was more of like my muse while making the dress. needed that inspo! her grim design contrasting her sweet personality was fitting and it reminded me of irene too wiwiiww

4) shinobu - the main inspiration for me deciding to give her butterflies! realized i could easily use a butterfly to replace irene's iconic ribbon and shinobu's wing pattern in the dress also helped <3 (funny thing i found out, butterflies also represent death! thats awesome since emily had that too, and the next thing im about to talk about:)

and lastly, the coloring - i was really unsure what color to go for when finishing up the dress because; blue is overrated, green needed a break (LMAO) and using purple is redundant since norto.n is primilarily purple. and then i realized this skin of nai.b's existed

WHICH? MADE MY JAW DROP. THIS DUDE LITERALLY HAS THE SAME DESIGN PHILOSOPHY AS WHAT I WAS MAKING, THE FLOWERS? THE BUTTERFLY IN HIS CHEST? HIS EYE? HELLYEAHH??? SO I WAS LIKE DAMN IF I MADE HER RED THEN THEY'RE EVEN MORE SIBLING CODED LETS GO so i made her red. boom. BWAJHWAJWAHHHAAA (it would be so nice if i got to draw the two as well but i am unfortunately intimidated to draw him sniffsnfifsfni)

anyways thats all yes <3

the way i interpret this soul catcher x velvet monarch universe (we're calling her that for now :3) is definitely based off soul catcher's cosmetic description that i LOVE so much <3

they immediately played with his magnet gimmick since he carries magnets in-game (it has a lot to do with attraction and repulsion too) and used it in a more symbolic way... love it so much.

anyway the way i personally portray norto.n here is somewhat similar to la muerte (or santa muerte?) in mexican culture -- as la muerte in culture is someone who safely delivers her followers into the afterlife, so i imagine him to be some sort of "mediator" between life and death (he is also seen interacting with a "soul" he pulled out in his idle) and irene is actually a ghostly individual who has died and he saw her wandering around near the graveyard one day, and its evident shes not in the afterlife yet. they get along from there :3 norto.n to me is still very much in the physical form, irene however is very much like a ghost! she floats if she wants to...

her death isnt something i really conceptualized yet but if i found a good idea, might as well incorporate it hehe

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: May 15th Part 2

And here’s the next part of the long answer set of the day!

When will OL: N&F take place? Beginnings and Always took place during summer breaks, will now and forever take place during a fall break or will the characters be going to school at the time of the events we play through? 

It takes place over all of the fall season, so school will be happening in OL2. Some events do take place in school, though many times events only start after school is already out for the day, haha.

Hey!! I have kind of a weird question?? I’m sorry if it’s been answered before and I just haven’t seen it but is OL 2 taking place during the same years as OL 1? I’m just curious, thank you for such amazing games!!! 

It’s a similar time frame, but not 100% exactly same.

Do you have any idea when the demo for now and forever will be available? 

Hopefully this fall! But that’s not a guarantee.

Okay the crime show in Step 2: Growing up. Long blonde hair, police station, crime series? Was it The Closer? Because I’m the same age as MC and Cove and my mom was constantly watching that when I was 13. 😂 

Haha, yeah! The Closer and, to a lesser degree, Medium were the kind of shows I was referencing there. My mom also used to watch those back in the day.

Hey um this might be an odd question but if the setting of OL: N&F is  fall/autumn, what country or city will it take because my mind tells me it is either Poland or Canada. Also I can't wait for the game I am hyped 

It’s set in the USA again. We’d like to be able to have cameos and that’s easiest to do if the OL games take place in the same country.

Is it possible for the PC of OL to have non-seriously dated other people in the in between years even if they’ve had a consistent crush on Cove? 

You can causally date Baxter in Step 3 if you get his DLC and then ultimately choose Cove in Step 4. If you mean off-screen people, it doesn’t really come up, but you can certainly headcanon that. The game never says Cove is the only partner you’ve ever had.

Is there going to be a Kickstarter for Now and Forever as well? For like voiced names and stuff again? Didn’t find B&A until after it was released and I’d really love the opportunity to hear my name in the game 🥺 

Yeah, we are gonna have a Kickstarter with getting a voiced name as a reward! Though, it will be more expensive than it was for OL1. I feel bad to raise the price but we realized too late the first time around that it was being super undersold for the amount of work it took, aha.

Do you know how much the remaining DLC for OL will cost? (Step 4, Derek, Baxter) 

Step 4: Free

Wedding DLC: $2.99USD

Derek DLC: $4.99USD

 Baxter DLC: $4.99USD

Has an artist for the new position been picked yet?! I'm super excited for the new game! 

We did fill that spot. Thank you so much for taking the time to apply!

hmmm what would it take to get each of the XOXO jerk squad to feel the need to hug you? 

They’d have to first like you a fair amount, otherwise the most you’d get is maybe a pat on the shoulder. If they were attached, they might hug you if you broke down crying or if you gave them super good news.

Unless it’s Shiloh, of course. If you want a hug you only have to ask!

May i ask how the Derek DLC will work? I believe that there aren’t any memories in step 4 and doesnt derek’s dlc take place during that step? So will the dlc add memories? Thank you! 

Derek’s DLC will add five Moments to Step 2 (a new page will appear on that screen if you get the DLC). Then in Step 4 you’ll have to choose between playing the default epilogue or going through the Derek romance story.

Is the pc version on itch,io different from the steam version? Like an offline one or something? 

Steam has achievements, but that’s about it. Both can be played offline, if you prefer.

I've been wondering this for awhile, what determines if cove winds up with a ponytail in step 3? I've done multiple runs with different MCs with varying hairstyles. Or does it have to do with a particular moment in step 2? 

I’m afraid I can’t say exact choices that determine things. But generally it’s preference based options in the Step before that decide those things.

Any Floret Bond updates? 

No, the artist had to leave the project and it’s been on-hold. I’m not sure if I want to try working just with what we have or replacing it all entirely. The design is a bit too specific for us to easily find someone who could mimic it. Hopefully we’ll work things out later, though.

In step 3 is Cove's plan always to stay in sunset bird? 

Yeah. He is never ready at 18-years-old to make a big life change.

I love your content! If it's alright to ask, you answered in a previous ask about how Jeremy was too particular with what he likes his types to be romanceable with just any MC and it's sort of got me wondering.. What /are/ his types and/or preferences and such? Sorry if it's a lot! 

Jeremy likes stubborn jerks and will not date someone who’s sweet or even generally a decent person, haha.

uh, excuse me if you said this somewhere before, but how will step 4 be actually? Will it he like an actual step and have moments and dlc and all? Or will it be more like a long epilogue of some sort?

Will the step 4, the wedding and extra routes dlcs be paid too? Im just confused, sorry if im asking too much

Step 4 is only an epilogue, so it’s just a long series of scenes one after the other rather than a collection of Moments you can choose from.

The Step 4 epilogue is free, the wedding DLC, Derek DLC, and Baxter DLC cost money.

i’m not sure how much of the wedding dlc you have planned already, or if this would be to spoilery, but what kind of wedding traditions will be included? i keep thinking about how flustered cove would get over a garter toss & was wondering if we’d see a scene like that haha. obviously no worries if it’s not included, i’ll enjoy literally anything cove related 

I don’t know for sure yet, haha. Right now we’re focused on the parts before the big day. We’ll see how many scene alterations we can include for the wedding itself later on.

Hello! Firstly, thank you for creating such an amazing game like OL, and I couldn’t be more excited for OL2! Out of curiosity, are you looking for any writers to come on for OL2 or are you all pretty much set in that department? Just thought I’d shoot my shot haha but I’m still excited regardless ^^! 

We will be hiring writers for OL2 later this year! Thank you for the interest.

Will we be blessed with a spin-off Yandere Cove, like XOXO Blood Droplets? 

Sadly, no. It’s a shame but there’s not enough time to keep making OL1 bonus/spin-off content.

How is Q pronounced?

I’m afraid Q’s full name hasn’t been publicly announced yet so I can’t answer here (Q and T are the first letters of the names for the new LIs in Our Life: Now & Forever).

Question; is the steam version getting a Mac update?  I purchased the dlc there thinking it had Mac support without realizing it and just wondered if I’d need to refund it to purchase on itch.io 😭 

I’m really sorry, you will need to get a refund from Steam. We do hope to have it there for Steam eventually, but have no idea of when it’ll happen. Apple requires special notarization to be an officially accepted app for their devices. We don’t have that. Steam requires having that, Itch will let you release it as an non-notarized third party app. That’s why Itch is the only place that has the Mac version right now.

would you mind posting outfit sheets for Cove in every step? it would make things a lot easier for us artists. it would save a lot of time spent looking for references 

I think we did do the earlier steps when they were finished way back in 2019 (this game took a long time to make, aha), but we can probably repost them sometime!

In our life n&f, will we be able to get into qprs/will there be more options in regards to having deep platonic relationships with the love interests? Because as an aroace individual, it would be great if there could also be emphasis on platonic love so that it's more aspec inclusive. 

It’s a little hard to say at this point. There may not be things like a wedding DLC for OL2 and so the relationship for platonic and romantic feelings might not go as far as it did in the first game. We’ll kind of have to see how much we can do based on timeframe/budget constraints that will only be set near the end of the year. But we will be keeping things like that in mind at least.

hi! i really really like your game and im absolutely in love with it! i cant wait to try your other games like xoxo droplet and future OL NF :))

during the step 3 erands moment i got curious, which fudge flavor is his favorite? it seems like he likes all of them, but which 4 do you think he would like best?

also i noticed that in some playthroughs cove would let me give him a piggy back ride, and in some he wouldn't, how come?

how does your choices affect cove's interests or looks? i replayed the game without changing any choices but i got cove to look different, is it just random?

thank you!

Cove’s favorite flavors are ones with nuts and that are fruity! But he appreciates them all. Whether or not you can give him a piggyback ride depends on if your MC is fit/large enough to hold a muscular 6-foot-tall beach boy, haha.

Cove’s appearance does depend on choices and it’s generally tied to choices that are preference based rather than emotion/action based, such as which key chain you pick in Step 1.

Is it possible for cove to reject MC's proposal at the end of step 3? 

Nope. He’ll always accept.

hi! i was wondering how heavily the side characters will be featured in the our life wedding dlc? obviously it'll be cove & mc focused, but i was thinking it'd be sweet if we could take lizzie dress / suit shopping or dance with cliff at the wedding or something. 

The side characters are there about as often as they are in normal events. So, it’s clearly focused on Cove but he’s not the only person you have any meaningful moments with.

When will responses be sent out to applicants? 

I’m afraid we don’t send responses out to all applications, only ones we’re interested in offering the position to. Not everyone likes rejection emails and the amount of applications is too high to contact them all to say we’re not hiring them. We post updates on the job page when a position has news. Right now we’ve filled every role that was open.

Is there also going to be the option to keep your relationships with the love interests platonic in Our Life: Now and Forever? That's something I really appreciate in Our Life: Beginnings and Always

Yeah! OL will never force you to end up in a romantic relationship with someone.

I was wondering, in the Step 3 Happiness moment, what are the different fishes Cove can compare MC to? I got "you'd be a paradise fish, because being with you is paradise," but my friend got "you'd be an angelfish." Are there more variations? 

He says paradise fish if you’re a couple, angelfish if he’s just crushing, and then a royal dottyback/queenfish/emperor tetra (based on your gender) if he likes the MC platonicly.

Hello! So, in one of the Step 3 DLCs, Cove's arm was gone. I think it was to show him putting his arm behind his back. But if that wasn't the case, did it get yeeted? 

Thanks for letting us know. That was an error we tried to fix a little while back. When did you make the save file you were playing? If it was older that might be why it happened. Or maybe the error wasn’t fully fixed after all.

Asking for your opinion, but do you think Cove would at all be into ABBA? Because all I could imagine during the car trip in step 3 was him and the MC belting to Mamma Mia. 

Haha, yeah, there’d definitely be some ABBA songs he was into.

So throughout the game, Cove can develop different interests depending on the player’s choices; does this mean that he can have different careers in Step 4? Or his is line of work in adulthood never mentioned at all? 

He can have different career paths in Step 4!

Hi!! I'm so so sorry if this has been asked before but I just acquired knowledge about the so famous nsfw dlc for OL and nearly chocked on my bubblegum 💀💀💀 So, my real inquiry is if that specific moment will have any kind of impact at some point of the fourth step OR if it will just be treated as a side-story-ish “what if” scenario.Also, is there any chance there'll be something similar for Step 4? Haha jk,,, unless 😳Questions apart let me thank you profoundly for making the best visual novel I've ever played 😭 Really really looking forward the epilogue and OL2 💕 Have a nice day 

It’s just a bonus side story that’s fully separate from the main game.

It would be nice to have one for Step 4 too, but I sadly don’t see us having time to actually do it. I don’t know, if people are still asking for more OL1 content several months from now it might be doable and worth doing.

I'd just like to ask, when is Baxter's birthday :0 -- I'm really curious esp with their zodiac signs so ;w; 

I don’t know, haha. Maybe I’ll come up with one someday.

Please help!! I bought the Step 3 DLC but I still have no idea how to get to where you can propose to Cove - any tips? 

&

How do I get the option to propose to Cove at the end of the game?

You can click HERE for a discussion on that.

I love that Miranda and Terry are getting together! I'm curious if you have canon sexualities for them? Also just wanted to say how much I love OL and how much joy it brings me everytime I play it <3 

Terry likes ladies and Miranda likes dudes!

ngl Step 4 Terry's design reads like y'all see trans guys as their assigned gender more than you see them as men to me (a trans guy)... like maybe if he isn't heavily dysphoric, I could see it, but everything you've said about him doesn't line up with that. Even then, immediate warning bells go off in my head looking at him. I wouldn't have touched the game if I saw him ahead of time.

I’m sorry you aren’t comfortable with the way the design looks. The situation with Terry is that he’s now open about who he is, but the body he was born with is still physically the same. He only came out recently as an adult and hasn’t gone through any treatments/procedures yet (his chest is flatter because he wears a binder). However, even though his body hasn’t transitioned at the point Step 4 happens, no one treats him as anything other than the guy he is. Having a trans character who’s identity is supported/respected from the start is what we’re going for in this case. But what we’re doing with Terry isn’t the only trans content we’ve ever had/ever will have in the future.

how would baxter react to bae pyoun and vice versa? and can you please detailly explain both love interests personalities from our life 2: now and forever? i was just curious, sorry for dumb question!! 

I imagine it’d be pretty opposite experiences, haha. Bae would initially think Baxter is pushy and thoughtless, but would quickly realize, oh, he’s instead a soft, considerate boy. Very cute. Baxter would first be struck with the impression that Bae is charming and gentlemanly, but then would realize that, no, he’s a sarcastic asshole. And I’m afraid we can’t reveal the personalities for the next game yet.

Sorry if you've already answered this, but I have a question about the patreon exclusive moment you're working on. I was wondering if it's mainly going to be CGs or if it's mostly character sprites + backgrounds with some CGs.

Either way, thank you for doing the Lord's work and not only making Cove, but making this bonus moment as well 😌😌😌

It’s mostly sprites/backgrounds with two CGs!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you again for the interesting questions everyone :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[pndnj]

Cathartic- Yellow Metal Lyrics

Heres where I am with the lyrics, I referenced @25Goldenn on twitter for some of it that I couldn’t comprehend. 

*music*

0:23

Dark matter, like painted splatters, they fit better, the old saying, the way it goes, better the devil you do then you don’t know. I hit pedals and switch levers, my heart metal, I can't settle, im part trouble, they are not subtle. I fuck good so fuck cuddles, burst bubbles the thrist levels at new heights, i down doubles, and got baked til I felt high, my face puzzled, felt muddled, far strung and your floors woodent, the thought might but the fit wouldn’t. A fortnight

0:46 - 1:00

And I thought right, it’s all bark and no bite, I’m Tony Stark still embarking on a dream, took a bit of time to take darkness from the team. Seen what I saw. Heartless on the sleeve. Tried to burn my wings, so I put them in a piece on my chest , at peace no rest.

1:00-1:15

Flipped this on it’s head. Rip the script up now, flip it don’t pretend, slipping shit again, Fakers all around me, I’ve been living in pretense. Fake friends won’t make amends. There’s no need, these mean comments control the scenes. Attentionseekers, the spine is weakened

1:15-1:24

This family needs, what a family needs, and the planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving til we ascend so fuck the fence, and until they stop killing colour it’s fuck the feds.

1:22 - 1:44

You must be off it, I mean it, you know you ain’t never get with the judging and I used to dread growing my beard too long, never felt I belonged, but it's really long like a minute I ain’t looking to no mans for the limits, They’re feeling timid, I’m telling them who they mimic, why they don't look like a clinic …. Why they don't get no women, Still, we’re just fucking girls, Lost in the wrong world, Jurassic, now to this vermin

1:41-  1: 50

Kicking the game I’m serving, these losers are never learning, my fire is forever burning, adding it to my fuel, seems like I’m always focused on never becoming you, These locals that rob us feeling … was for a reason.

1:52-2:02

I’m seeing my new beginnings, watch out this loser’s winning, and no water is too deep to swim in Like I’m about to see a killing, I’m all the way that and living, flawless and feeling lawless, the prison now to the gimmicks, my vision is set to something,

2:03-:2:20

I’m watching you bitches plummet, no matches here for my cunning, you rappers are feeling done in, switching your genre, running and Running your jaw, stunting, pulling at straws, something  I think you’re a poor effort, deaf and tone deaf and I ain’t treat you separate. Living, I’m in my element, riding it like a … never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a benadryl. Keeping it green in general

2:20- 2:46

Think that you remain irrelevant. Look at yourself with reverence, hoping to always elevate. Celibate of these thoughts, killing themselves with sedatives. In comparison to eminem, you’re feeling feminine. Impolitically correct, still dropping on my dick. And I never gave a fuck about what they say abt my shit, I’ve been moving things in my mind like it’s this mountain dew Memories have made me wonder if one day I’m after you. What’s the purpose that you do, is what you're hoping that they learn, i’d like to say i’m done but it’s getting up on my nerves

2:46 -2:55

I’m looking at my life, saying what do I deserve. It’s hard to say I know when I’m walking through the dirt. Talking while you’re nothing I can see for what it’s worth. I’m tired of feeling hurt and I’ve tried enough but nothing works.

2:55-3:40

I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work. Chit chatting is the usual, talking to this clerk, i beg you don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt so everytime they see me, the oldest know to swerve. SWERVE Life is potent, bits of fucked shit… till they took notice weren’t  no hocus pocus, it was hard work that got me heard so i put in the graph like google maps but the whole earth

… around my door mat, taking over like the drones, rolling dirt up in miles like the water, and exploding like Annas hematoma. Don't need to see a slammer to know that I don't want to go man

I’m a showman. I’m just focused on the drama… like i’ve got my own insurance, show myself the pain, like i boxed it in the frame, if we’re about to talk greatness im great, the way you have to say my name like beyonce

“Say my name”

4:00-4:46

Just a bum with a cigarette, sun coming up, all my thoughts on the internet. Feeling deep, I’m just bored with the silhouette single sec,  get fucked up for the thrill of it . killer streak playing Pacman. Like I came from the Philippines vanilla bean still a thing for the thrill of scene,

Theres a beam, UFO, Leave it well alone  I aint moving, stood still on the peloton, telephone and its always on the dial tone,  it's been a while since i’ve smiled at a milestone, seen a big pile in my mind stone, me against the world on my Jack Jones, Like I’m John Jones, With pictures in the condo, far from John Doe, in the ___, like I'm Johnny Bravo, got pravado, with a small dick sitting in golados, feeling far gone, cuz that last hit was the good shit, was that stay lit

4:48-5:02

You can never take my shit come and get me. On the top floor,  cloud 9, fading, never bailing, felt amazing, inhaling, til my lungs two guns blazing. Overcome all the stunts that I pulled. A suit of just skin and then wool

5:02- 5:17

This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm ya. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here till they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80, and start moving like a ruler, ?damaged? Like a computer going fast, bars from the jeweler, bring the songs to the beach in hopes of finding tuna

5:18-5:36

…

5:36- 6:16

Grab a bat, lose my rag. Couple things got me mad, a couple people got me wrong and now I’m changing up the swag. Coming in and stealing it, I might take the whole bag. Feeling undefeated, I’m a beast with a reason, and imma lead the whole pack. Fearless like I’m Caesar, I’m just waiting for a chance to fill it up with diesel, and all I've been achieving is clocking miles in its region, moving like a legion.

Promise that I made to myself an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving, staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving.

I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy, it’s time I grew up,  a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on a mike.

6:16-6:32

I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane. The truth is on my medicine, can’t put that on your plate.

Speeding into everything, bout time I fixed the brakes. Don’t say I can’t communicate , you know I conversate with you in several different ways. And I know you know it’s references, looking at your face.

6:33- 6:53

Can’t justify mistakes, like every man that made them, seems I ain't  the one to blame. Lying to myself, only had so much to gain, so now I’m switching up the plate, see if that affects the place, im at on most days

I ain’t going with the usual so they looking at me strange. Confused, I can feel it all,  I’m here to make a change. It’s cold at 3am outside, I’m walking with the dog, thanking god that you don’t talk at all, my mind is switching off

6:54-7:12

Driving down to find myself, cuz I’ve been getting lost, lived this selfless life and found I can give a toss. Lessons that I’ve learned I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself.

So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt. Like burning toy soldiers that used to go up on the shelf. Recycle the ideas, conveying on the belt

7:14-7:29

.. circus, always hurting the way we felt? Embarrassed that we dreamt of bigger things and letting go of notions till we feel them in cement

Tired of only hoping, we feel broken men. Cuz the gravity is weight and has kept us to the ground, see the only people speaking with favors in their mouths

7:46-7:58

Got killer rhymes… no fillers, like godzilla, eating clouds cuz my smokes thicker, throat licker, my dope sicker, bringing people their hope like im the pope slicker,  i hope you’re getting the point cuz i walk quicker

I thought my city was shit bcs I want bigger like my zipper couldn’t zip up fed up with the…my love is fickle.. Residual age has a primitive face

I see demise for your limited ways, Left it to simmer, simmer away…a fake glimmer in the haze

8:09-8:11

Feeling trapped this industry is a cage

8:34-8:50

Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views, while they’ve been sat in their chairs, I’m feeling pressure to choose.

Standing here as one man, how can I do half when you’re half the person I am. If it wasn’t in your life, you didn’t choose it. It’s the funny thing about music. It’s the pain and beauty of it.

8:52-9:11

Don’t give a fuck what my suit is, it looks good so I wear it, better than the shoot that People’s wearing, changing the whole narrative for these basics and scarcity

Been facing the racists from back when i were a kiddie .born up in in 93’. been living in Bradford City..kicked me out of the schools, they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p*** still sitting in the classroom chilling, and i'm angry now that I’m older I see they treat us different

9:12-9:25

got me thinking I’m the problem cuz they never dealt with those issues.

20 years later I’m still in the same boat, tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for, man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil, when they got me by the throat

9:25-9:35

Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them

‘Boy your skin is so light’, ok motherfucker take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.

9:35-9:45

I don’t know how that’s acceptable, when life is more susceptible to perception, be the death of them. I’ve been looking at the sky saying where’s that day of reckoning, you had your prophets right when they say that you would speak to them.

9:45-9:55

I need justice in this life and I trust that it’s my fight, cuz when I’m writing it feels right to have them focused on the facts again. Focused on the rap again, hoping for the change, gunna put this on the map again

9:55-10:16

Writing in all caps again, the pain, it goes through me so I write the letter. All the shit that could have brought me but made me better.

I’m at home with a pain in my soul , yeh rap… cuz you know I was too real to contest it, my time was invested. Now I look at the industry, I see it infested, looking like kids who would write on nesquik.

10:17-10:29

My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.

I ain’t never gave a fuck about these jokers and jesters. Ain’t no answers for these things, so just save us the questions, man allowed of violence, cuz my silence is deafening, your opinion stinks, somebody get him a breath mint.

10:30- 10:42

Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening, I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine Now they all wanna hear me, got a table at letterman. Direction changed, like I changed up the lettering. Don’t believe the age ,bcs I move like a veteran.

10:42 - 10:47

Raised on the benefit for whose benefit, they’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.

…no words coming out when you open your mouth

And to be honest, it’s insulting, offensive to my wounds that have been salting. Tryna ask me questions that they know I never answer. I’d rather sit online and reply to the fan art

11:00-11:06

Fuck a sports car, coming through when i rapped

tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor

11:06- 11:17

Fake life, 'sup online, suck a fat one. You don’t wanna buy into that, none of that son. Sitting in the garden 98’ in the Datsun,  seen some hot summers but I still remember that sun.

*music*

11:51- 12:34

I make millions off of my pain, cause I know a few millions still living that way

Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause i hit the nerve. Only way that the sheep learn if the street firm, in my ways I don’t wanna change, everything just stay the same

Who you tryna convince you understand, cant maintain, let the lights dim some,  get the Chow Mein, flex, get the tape, right up at night

Why these men be nice to my face, be nice,  i ain’t tryna be a gangsta ruins my vibe

Rather be low-key and on my phone. Never need the trophy or the show piece

Never show peace in a North Face fleece. Show kids this like i wrote my flip

Cause the sign might fit till the start i’m sick

12:37-13:05

Now you see where I come from, the world don’t. Only achievement in this life is the Jordans. Committing petty crimes out of boredom, we can’t afford them. So I stole it, need a rolex

Go make sense, get yourself a job, It’s a poor man’s game tryna sit and pray to god, he ain’t sorting out your problems, gotta sort them out yourself

Used to tell us fables, now I’m writing them myself, Cause we raw like animals we all just need some help

Cathartic, I’m an artist, trying to put my heart in

Felt double crossed like Leo in Departed

13:05- 13:27

For the knowledge i’m not charging see I got it all free

But my hunger kept me starving like i’m feening for the feed

I just Need a reason to see me bleeding for my creed. Trick you with the words like I keep em up my sleeve. Picking where I fit, I see me sitting with the queen

I ain’t doing it unless you’re used to saying please

Let me flow a bit, before I sting 'em with the bees, They tryna kill us with disease

(Music)

13:34- 14:12

Why does it feel like they had the same notebook and the same four looks

Like the rain won't touch on their face, so sus when they lie don’t trust not a minor

Please no fuss, I just move through the game like must

Something in the way i adjust till i stick, Free falling like the ship, free fall till i bust

Remember 21 brother gave no fucks. Trying to project when they give them looks

In the projects, in the objects us

In my own way, never gave me love, shoulda never started this, broken hearted kid

Dried up the feeling till I stole the lid

Don’t wanna relish in the fame but I can’t resist

14:46-14:58

I like the way we feel, I like the way, I like the way

Ain’t no mistake, i am a being

I ain’t tryna be a leader, been selling out since Jesus

All my rhymes are for the readers, between the lines, like Father time, I fuck Mother Nature

14:58-15:40

That’s what they get, the connotations. Tell 'em I lived a life, and then I lived a life of adjacent? like its…. and played it patient.

Alone on my own spaceship, always tryna find greatness, still defying lines, but I’m fighting in my prime.

Shining light like Kylo while imma kill it all the time. Aging like I’m wine

Asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define. Focused on defiance, imma fight it while it’s life.

Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next, just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around til I’m the best

Speaking in full sentences, shoulda thought about a strategy before you went at the stratosphere about this… rings around Saturn, this ain’t a battle, I’m sat, I’m here

15:40-16:22

Catch me doing magic, hired and sounding tragic I think you could use practice and until that you get the blacklist and pull like a … actress? Fooling them like a catfish, schooling like a legend, happy to be the reference, fusing like iridescence, leaving them all guessing, leaking out of my brain like a pipe I aint fixing, shining like a star you can see it from a distance

Aint many of me around p*** I’m just different Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto, clean up like Im Dettol

I’m the man to put a bet on, sight smart like a weapon,  this is my kind of setting, i write the world I’m sat in, while these others live on hype, i see them fight in how they type, the fruit is ripe for the taking, i think i might

16:22-16:57

Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here

16:58- 17:47

Eccentric things are mentioned like a kid stuck in detention tryna escape im just spitting what is written on the next page, spitting image of my dad in his young days

Born sinner when i’m livid i say fucks sake

Don’t worry i’m too cunning with no plumbing, the waterworks, i sung something that resonates, i thought it first like giving birth to the parrot perch

They see me do it and they know it works

Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse

You’ll be nervous, you don’t deserve it we’ll scratch the surface ill leave a crater, lift the dirt up to find the hurting

Can’t know for certain nothing is guaranteed, tryna be a better person than the world deserves to see cuz i see a lot of sharks still swimming in the sea

Cease and arrest what’s the reason.. And these the kinda kids we bringing up next

Distorted reality, all they needed was family, too hard to face, to see what the damage is

17:47

*i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, *

18:04-18:38

Sometimes they ask the questions too deep to form a sentence, to disform, is this the norm, is this the sentence i feel defenseless i played the setlist, and all my sweat blood and tears, forgot to mention feeling lost, going off into different sections i feel like love wrecked it

If it’s not a drug why am i waiting for the next fix, affected, i cant believe that you left this

I guess I leave for the best wish, moving on like im fine for the lectures

We see it all from spectrums, cuz if we’re falling down we can fall down together

Staircase to heaven, mirror down the middle like 11, resentment on one side it won’t settle

18:38- 19:14

Mind fried but taking sense, they aint got a sense of themselves in the rich ends

Need to spell it out for them.. Made for them so witness

I know you feel afflicted but you always love it with me while im laughing at you, ya think you’re laughing with me

I try to (i love you) but im grown so they don’t fit me, my body thrown from the new to this old city so Im sick of sitting on my own, feeling so shitty, i’ve been on roads where its cold and the snow hitting

Its okay to be yourself, sit and talking to myself

I’ve been walking for the longest, just need a little rest, know i ain’t the strongest, I can feel it in my chest, talking about my feelings and of me, they get the best

19:14-19:59

They aint leaving, seeing breathing in my breath

Till death do us part is just seeded in my heart, like a work of art

Never winning,im just scared

Cant begin from the start, do i play a part in the rhythm of the night

I guess i’m onto something cuz the dark is feeling right

Every cloud got a lining, put my own miles  in, like moralis, figured that they’re jealous, that they could just never tell us to change because the weather never made me question whether or not i’m not that level

Got rid of all the bullshit sitting in my way, most of them are full of shit i see it every day

I do hearing the same things that i do, maybe that shits hitting like haiku

How much do you pay for them to hype you

Recycle your flaws but they aint like new, leaving and conceded and full of diesel like engines that need a cleaning, the ending will be revealing. Even though we ain’t raising the facts, now we been facing.

20:01-20:52

The cactus with spikes, needing spaces. Different faces, the same story. A full body like straight body direct to your system.

Could never tell 'em we missed’ em. Not even with the thoughts, we gift them. Cuz they just take advantage, guess we are caught in a system.

My soul pouring out details of borrowed time, had enough of a fill, this is for sorrow time. I’m seeing visions of Heaven, I seen the severed line, between the gospel they speak and when theyre telling lies.

Remember telling a friend of mine, you’d sent of mine, identified like a 3rd eye. Got a habit of knowing now where the dirt lies. So benign. I ain’t sober after 9, so I fuck their minds. Why you flipping out, see another

Try to rep it from the city, fuck a chiller crew, repping for the nittys, trying to keep us down, raised on the social, don’t want to let us out of the system. Me, I insist we assist them, me alone putting shifts til I lift them

20:53-21:12

I know it’s hard, that’s why I like it, I’m fit to fight it, I’m from the North, I’m backing Tyson, it’s been decided, don’t see no light. They needing guiding, just redefining, realizing, I’m realigning, in full finance, they stay silenced.

Can’t be louder, I’m juiced up with no powder. I fix shit like a slick spanner. Gone green like Bruce Banner. So free Gaza on my banner

21:12-21:51

The real McCoy, I ain’t nothing to toy with, signifying peace like a Japanese Koi Fish. How did this happen, we’re moving backwards in our timeline, killing us with cyanide, Right up for the freedom 'til we transform like Ironhide

This is bout my feelings, the way that I move affects the fate that I’m sealing. Can’t say nothing, with that something being on the page, kept inside the pen like the bars that have been kept caged. See I always had a plan, since I was young, we had nothing man

Now it’s been a few years since I ain’t seen the fam, on foreign lands. Bout to climb Everest in the avalanche. Right into the riddles as soon as you were born. Never asking the question cuz it’s the norm. See I’m in a questionin’ session

21:52-22:03

Like the manner got a method to teaching a lesson, listen to MF Doom, he taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten. Still we play cartoons so it’s never forgotten.

22:03-22:15

Chilling at the top but we came from the bottom. Writing and jottin for them life by, spotting the difference

*Dreams, was growing out of me, sun promising that tomorrow it will rise, time playing games with my mind, I swear it will pass us by

Train goes on the tracks, smoke, I’m tired to hide my thoughts, so blinded in flames, Don’t know where we’re going, I have no way of knowing, only see what’s in my head

Can’t we wait a minute, so we can savour this, It’s on my brain again, these days, It on my brain again these days”

23:10-23:46

They’re hating on Palestine ways, The oh no Palace playing Prince on the Steinway, Sending out mind waves, stop them like crimewaves, Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name

Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing

We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route, say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown

I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.. Done ain’t it, Shit just gets me vexed, and now I’m sitting that I think of it

23:45-23:59

Feeling on the brink of it, whatever it is, Figure out some shit at least it feels that way

talk about my feelings and I don’t feel so strange, finding solace, that’s a promise, in Metropolis but being honest, can’t write a sonnet, without some pain

24:00-24:40

Can’t fade away, away so we can savour this, been on my brain again these days

Can't find a way to be so you can savour this, been on my brain these days

Singing the song for another, singing a song for another

[dreadfutures]

You referenced being in school/working on your PhD (I think, might be misremembering sorry). When do you typically find the time to write? Im so impressed at your pace, dread futures is a behemoth

Hi! I'm gonna use this as an opportunity to rant about science PhDs because so many people don't know how they work 😅

But long story short, I walk to/from work every day and write on my phone during that time, and I try not to bring work home but have a lot of anxious energy so I end up needing Something To Do with the little free time I have, so I end up writing. I wasn't sleeping a lot. I also have a pretty fast typing speed, and used to transcribe interviews quite often so transcribing game dialogue is pretty quick for me too. And I was Really Feeling Things and had a story I had to tell. And I really cannot emphasize enough that for the most part I turn off my inner editor when I write fanfiction, I do not plan my stories out much ahead of time, and I treat it kind of like an improv/dnd-like experience. What got published last is what I have to work with, and I have to make it work. I also self impose a 3k goal/limit on my chapters and then it's time to publish. All those things combined yield a pretty fast update schedule.

Now for the rant:

Most people think of graduate school as just that--school. Having lived with PhD students in Classics, Chinese Lit, and Business, that's true for a lot of disciplines. You take classes. You read all the time. All the while you're forming Opinions and you explore those in lectures and articles you produce, using the vast amount of information you've absorbed over your schooling. If you're familiar with an Honors Thesis from undergraduate education, you basically produce one of those over your time in a NON science PhD program.

A STEM PhD is much, much more like an elementary science fair project, but instead of asking What Is The Most Efficient Design for a Solar Cookie Oven, you're asking questions that contribute to issues like climate change, chemical waste production in manufacturing, Alzheimer's treatments, and vaccine development.

Sometimes your adviser is the one who tells you, "Hey, study this and see what happens" just like your elementary school friend might have had a parent or teacher give them an idea. Sometimes you yourself come up with the idea. Either way, here's the real difference between a science fair project and a PhD project:

In a PhD, no one has ever asked the question you're asking, and no one knows the answer. And your Question might be so small and seemingly inconsequential, you will never be able to explain it truthfully to your grandmother over Thanksgiving dinner. Even if your Question is fundamentally important to something like the race to efficient carbon dioxide fixation.

Also, it's not fair to say you have One Question in your PhD. A PhD researcher is a one woman army against a whole battlefield of Questions, and you spend about 1 year per Question (Project) answering (and all the little side questions that come up, curiosities, flashes in the pan, that you think might help you answer the main Question). A typical chemistry thesis is about 3-6 big projects that are related to one another usually only tangentially.

Day to day life is NOTHING like being a student. I walk to work and get in ~8am, and leave at 6. I work 6-7 days a week. The whole time I am doing research work: either at a fume hood, or in a glovebox, doing chemistry, or MAYBE I will sit down and analyze my data or look up prior research in the field to inform my future experiments/learn how to do a certain analysis.

I am teaching myself new techniques, new chemistry, and producing new techniques and new chemistry.

Science PhDs come out of their programs and go into jobs and their bosses tell them to stop working so hard, to only do what they're told, to stop taking work home. Because in normal industry jobs you get contracts that include time off, regular work hours, and regular performance evaluations, whereas a PhDs job is never done, your hours are dictated by what the experiments require, and the amount of time you spend doing your work is pretty proportional to how long your degree is going to take. :-/

Oh yeah and if you're lucky, you have a contract with your university! If you're lucky, you have a union! But most of us have neither of those.

STEM PhDs fortunately will pay you, rather than you paying the University. However, better settle for 25-30k (US)/year. Maybe you get health care. Good luck if youre in a more expensive rent area because 30k is already pretty high for a program offer. Oh, and unless you're very lucky, you likely will need to be a teaching assistant for undergraduate courses multiple times a year. Some contracts stipulate that TAships cannot require more than 20 hrs of your time per week (that's a 50% appointment, and the rest of your time you're supposed to be working in your research lab) but good luck, most of the time your teaching/grading load is going to be ~30-40 hours of its own. And just because you're teaching doesn't mean you get to produce any less work for your research!

Because here's the other thing: you're not an employee, you're not a student. You're supposed to be doing research to answer Questions that will save the world. But you get paid, and your adviser/professor gets paid, and your SCIENCE gets paid, based off of how many Questions you've already answered and how Important someone in the government judges your Answered Questions to be. So if you're not Answering those Questions and simultaneously proving that your Questions are Important, then your funding, and your adviser's funding, are at risk.

I worked in a startup for a while and it was very similar in mentality: your life and your work are the livelihood of the company, and you have to do everything in your power to ensure the company is popular and productive, with as little funding and time off possible--because if you don't do the work, there's no people or money to pick up the slack.

The upside to working in a startup, though, is that in my PhD I come across fun questions like: hey, why is this *that* color? but this other thing is different? And I have the freedom to try and explore those questions. Whereas in a startup, there is no space or time to waste on side projects. I'm in to this work for the curiosity and the passion (when I have energy enough to remember them lol). And a PhD not only provides me with specific skills and knowledge, it also proves that I can pick up any new field and dive in, teach myself, and be productive in it. Most of us never go on to work in anything immediately relevant to our PhD work, because our PhD work is so open ended, but also so narrow in scope within a field. It's important work and it's how most progress gets made in our quality of life and technology and healthcare and other developments as a society--this brain-breaking labor of love by underpaid and over caffeinated, unprotected workers in labs that are constantly at risk of being defunded.

Oh and halfway through, after you've wasted 3 years of your life melting your brain with big Questions, you have a Candidacy Exam where you prove your worth to a committee of Expert Professor Researchers in your field, and they say whether you even get to finish or not. 🤗

Which is what was happening when I started writing DPDF. in the middle of a pandemic. With a lot of my friends and support systems leaving me. And DPDF was born as a coping mechanism for the hopeless, worthless, existentially threatening place I was in at the time. Nothing gets the fingers tapping more than feeling like you want to die every moment you're alone with your thoughts, and having every other moment eaten by blistering brain work. Not working, and sitting, and relaxing were impossible and made me feel extraordinarily guilty. So I wrote. Like my life depended on it. It did. It does.

[silentstaresfanficandfanart]

WHOA COOL TAG thanks for tagging me!

Thank you for the tag, @sableglass!

Short stories, novels, or poems?

i write lots of things but i prefer writing novels above all else : ) though i really love haikus and limricks! mostly for fun, my faovorite haiku writer is koboyashi issa!

What genre do you prefer reading?

for me its almost anything in a fanatastical setting of some sort, i love anything similar to wuxia and stuff like that and victorian setting stuff, anything thats set away from the modern era though im getting a bit fonder of that, im not as fond of sci-fi but its still definitely got its winners out there! i love things that go beyond the mundane and explore things strange and new but are still relatable!

Are you a planner or a “write as I go” kind of person?

im a mix! but i incorperate a lot of planning, i often use a style i learned while researching iyasheki where i ask a question, answer it, and propose another to guide us into the next chapter. its not always quite that smooth, but that really helps me set up my chapters and it gives me a lot of room to work with and i usually make a mini version of my plans and then expand heavily on it. sometimes i also like to write down the entire plot again without referencing my old one to see what sticks and stays and try out different branching paths before i settle on what i want to write. and even then by the time i get to my actual writing, the final decisions are actually those of the characters. They decide more than I do how the story really goes, they kind of develop a life and personality of their own once they're fleshed out enough. I cant really push them in a direction they dont consent to, they just dont allow it. That's why Acianne made the decisions she made near the end. i had something way more tragic and awful planned...

but it seems even the omnipotent one whos hands shape their world, cant budge her. Who she was and who Ciero was, who they were to each other, those things were more important than my plans. I like it more that way though, they wrote a sweeter story than i Meant to. and yet also, a bit sadder.

Ciero decided to take his own memories, not me. That was never part of my plans. He changed *everything* in that moment and reshaped the entire story with that. Its kind of beautiful to me. I like my characters most when they develop independence, it keeps things interesting for me as a writer, since even I don't know what's going to happen until we reach 'the end'

What music do you listen to while writing?

i have a playlist with like 500 songs on it but i prefer to make a playlist with songs that really fit the vibe of what scene im writing or what book im writing.. my books have specific playlists usually and if i cant get in the mood to write ill walk around and listen to them and once i get into daydreaming about my characters mode, sure enough, i want to write again!

Favorite books/movies?

anything studio ghibli just about

loved howls moving castle the book

a series of unfortunate events

warrior cats was an old classic

i love a LOT of different anime but iyasheki is probably my favorite genre-

the chronicles of narnia (where do you think my love of isekai came from?) gaurdians of ga hoole

that sort of thing!

Any current WIPs?

Halcyon! which you can read for free right here right now!

i also have afew video games and other writing projects im editing/working on- but this is my main big thingy rn!

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

probably a weird jacket, im almost always wearing a jacket and black leggings of some sort. Very likely weird silly kawaii cutsey details. im usually wearing my halloween sanrio jacket for reference- and i LOVE having cute acessories. i think i'd be the kind of cartoon character who's got a jacket that changes all the time-

Create a character description of yourself:  (well if i had to design myself and describe what i look like though i dont HAVE a jacket like this quite yet and i DO want it)

The odd woman approached the register, her hair a curly wreck from having the windows down in her car that has no ac. She wore a jacket emblazoned with cute pink and purple colors and rabbits in silly costumes across its design and a long pair of rabbit ears dangling from the hood, she cheerfully purchased a pumpkin spice latte before immediately spilling it all down her front. She doesnt even look surprised, she apologises profusely for the mess. instead of cleaning herself off she cleans off the floor. when asked, she says "its just going to get more coffee on it in a minute, theres no hope for it anymore. such is my life." Then she awkwardly tries to leave a tip in the tip jar and apologises because she doesnt know how tipping works, she goes to her table and thinks about the several hundred other times shes failed to tip people properly. She wishes she could remember what her mom told her about tipping more than she remembered how bad she was at tipping. She proceeds to spill coffee on her self again because her hands are weird and numb still because she stayed up till 5 am writing again, her friends are still yelling at her to go to bed. she has not yet, in fact, gone to bed.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

oh dear, i try not to, though if a friend makes an oc for a world and they give me permission i might add them as a little easter egg! Theres definitely some aspects of people i know and real life experiences really influence how things turn out, but my characters tend to be people of their own and i would struggle to even write a self insert, every time ive tried they wind up being someone seperate from me. The idea of making a literal one to one of people i actuall yknow in my books makes me uncomfortable-

Are you kill happy with your characters?

not at all! i try to save killing for important scenes where its really the only way things are likely to go. if someone dies its usually my characters decision, not mine. (for example: halcyon was supposed to be almost entirely death free!)

im very CRUEL to my characters sometimes, but i dont like to kill them. I like to believe that the story isint done untill it's found a satisfying conclusion, unless the point of the story is for it to specifically dissatisfy the reader. I like the idae of happy endings, and that everything will be okay. I dont like for things to end on a bitter note, tragedies arent for me.

I've got enough hardship in my life, i want to believe that the good in this world is the important part i need to focus on, not the bad. Therefore, i write happy endings, no matter how sad the middle and beginning might be. Maybe its not going to be the perfect ending, or an ending that has no suffering or problems, but i want endings that feel like the start of something new and beautiful. I believe life comes in chapters, and that no bad thing is the true end, nor is any good thing, the nature of life is to contenue, thus my stories dont really end with a happily ever after, they end with "so what's next?"

Coffee or Tea while writing?

I chose coffee a lot because its the easier option and its readily available, tea is a more mindful drink i like to share with friends and id like to drink it more often, but i rarely have much energy, so it often results in cup after cup of coffee. My energy levels are getting a bit better though with time (though a week or two ago i had such a severe pain flare it put me in a bit of a slump) and i think, at least in theory, tea would be my bigger option really.

Tea is my theoretical ideal, but coffee is very nice too. Other than coffee and tea though i almost exclusively drink water (or occasionally other special drinks) and hot cocoa is another big favorite of mine!

Slow or fast writer?

f a s t f a st f ast i beat nanowrimo in six days and wrote another 50,000 word book in only 3. this however, has its ...consequences. so i cant really keep this going long term, im trying to write at a saner pace- so i can actually write MORE because im less injured. My first book took me like five or more years to write, but once you write the first one its not realyl scary anymore. the first mountain you climb is a mountain, the second is something you know what you're doing with, and the more mountains you climb, well, the more it just becomes a part of you. Eventually its not "i climbed a whole mountain" its "im a mountain climber" also youre all taking books way too seriously by the way, the sooner you let yourself let go of the belief books are this giant insurmountable thing, the easier writing is. books are actually just as much a hobby as any other creative skill can be. Theres a reason fanfiction writers casually crank out thousands of words. They're not as scared!

editing is slow- slow slow slow. but hopefully once ive done it once i wont be scared anymore and itll be easy too <3

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

everything, absolutely everything, good and bad, life, experiences, other media, friends and loved ones, old ideas, random prompts, sometimes i even make up fun challenges. I consider finding a source of inspiration to be one of the most fun parts of creating actually! it helps you create a challenge. one of my favorite things to do is to take an ida (example using halcyon again: "what if a villain was trying to SAVE a hero and they were the protagonist of a book instead of the hero?" and they played a genuinely positive role in the narrative? what if the power of love was terrifying? what if the only thing that could save the day was refusing to fight someone or trusting someone dangerous???)

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

a dragon with a big hoard of books perhaps and tea... one that can turn into a human and sneak about as i please and writes books to share with people... but a cute dragon thats fluffy and feathery and warm for snuggling <3 that sounds fun to me!

Most fav book cliche:

Clown like or court jestery characters that know too much (or really just in general)

dad trauma = missing an eye for some reason

isekai protagonist amazed and confused in another world and or pretending they tottaly know whats goign on to try to fit in while secretly freaking out

found famliy-

wu m pl es

wacky professors and general chaotic beings-

glowing mushrooms

transformation as a means of self exploration and change and a chance for others to care for a character who normally wont let themselves be cared for

fighting as a form of connecting iwth others through battle especially a sword fight

*when someones injured on their back and someone else cleans and bandages the wounds*

Least favorite cliche:

anything that causes second hand emberassment sucks for me-

also this one here is probably kind of controversial and i think its based on something that really is well intentioned and is meant to be "this guy thinks its so rediculous to be sexist that hes offended when hes accused of being sexist" but...i find that it actually makes me dislike a male character and it also makes me dislike the female character, like, both instantly become less pleasant characters to me even if they were previously really cool. this trope is...

when a female character understandably expects a man to be sexist and then he dismisses it like actually no its because *insert legitimate reason here* it just kind of makes me feel more nervous about defending my right to be respected as a person and human being and set proper boundaries, because "well what if theyre not REALLY being sexist and im just being stupid and accusatory" its not nessiarily that its a bad trope or something, but it feels like its "makes the male character look better at the expense of a female characters likeability, making her concerns about being seen as an equal seem rediculous" i guess partially because it could also be done better. like it could be done so well? instead of validating her concerns by going "i dont know what kind of awful guys you've had to deal with , but im not going to treat you that way. Im doing this because *insert legitimate reason here* , i know how competent you are"

Plus its almost always done between romantic interests...

I think romantic interests should ...respect and care about each others feelings you know? If a guy really wants you to feel safe and protected, why is it that when she expresses she feels threatened in some way that his instinct is to make her feel stupid instead of making her feel like he recognises the actual threats she will experience in her life as a woman? Its also almost ALWAYS a manly man other men are expected to look up to. the hot man who women are supposed to desire...

...ill be honest if a man reacted like that to me when i expressed concerns he might be mistreating me due to my gender...i'd never date that guy, because he showed me he doesnt know how to show respect to my concerns.

also it makes me really sad when theres a cute animal character that gets killed : ( that makes me really really sad.

when optimistic characters are treated like they're idiots for being optimistic and the moral of the story is the world sucks and everything is awful. As a very optimistic and cheerful person let me tell you if you make it to adult hood and youre STILL OPTIMISTIC AND CHEERFULL you arent that way beacuse youre oblivious to the worlds problems and an idiot who can't think for themselves, you probably held onto that happiness as tightly as you could and fought hard to believe this world is still a place worthy of saving , loving, and caring about. To love others, to trust others, and to believe good things can happen and yet to survive and protect ones heart through the hardships in life is amazing

not to mention the idea that optimisim is stupid and reckless is frankly, dangerous in some ways. Being optimistic about outlooks in life can actively change your health and can increase the likelyhood of someone spontaniously even going into remission from cancer or surviving a surgery. even just having a negative expectation for a surgery or THINKING it might go poorly can make it go poorly because our bodies are REALLY freaking weirdly affected by our assumptions about things (hence why the placebo affect works!)

plus you dont reduce the amount of suffering when you dont let yourself get your hopes up about things! you dont actually protect yourself from any pain, yes this also is based on some studies ive read, so its actually tottaly fine to get your hopes up for things. Personally ive just learned to let myself be excited for things but also accept and be okay with when they dont go as planned.

oh i dont get to go to disney land? well it was nice to be excited for aw hlie about the concept, and we can reschedule or plan something else nice. I probably have some free time to do something nice now. Oh? i do get to go? YAY! how wonderful! either way im happy, at the very least, it feels nice to be excited about something right? which means you got something positive already.

accepting dissapointment doesnt mean suffering, thats wallowing, not accepting. but its okay to still be bothered. as long as you respect your own feelings and adress them in a healthy way itll be okay.

so like yeah i find it really upsetting when the moral of a story is "never feel hope, the world is an awful place, and being happy is stupid" especially because books are one of the most effective ways to change someones view of the world...

I dont like when a book tries to convince me im stupid for finding peace and happiness in this world. I still think these tropes should get to exist though, every trope has its purpose and just because i dont like them doesnt mean my opinion holds more value to anyone elses. So im fine with others disagreeing as long as they are respectful to me, i got kind of derailed though didint I? this is kind of a heavy topic hahah- sorry about that

Favorite scene to write?

when a character who has suffered deeply is loved and feels safe

when hope returns

when things finally calm down and your wounds can be cleaned and you feel safe and loved.

Scenes that show the trust and love and understanding between characters, little details that show how long two characters have known each other, or how their lives have effected them like Keito checking Eichi's pulse under casual circumstances or checking that he's still breathing.

Or Ciero being able to look over Aciannes room and perfectly picture how her morning was, and knowing what Carling wants even when he cant communicate verbally.

Reason for writing? It began when i was young, just a child on the playground, autistic and ostricised for being ..well kind of a little weird creature. I felt alone, and strange, and like i didnt belong in the world, and i wanted to have something safe and quiet to lose myself in where no one bullied me or bothered me.

Books were there for me, and back then i wanted to write books that were there for others like me, books that encouraged others to keep going, keep trying, to believe that happy endings exist.

it changed over the years

sometimes it was for the validation of others, wanting to be loved and so i wanted to be impressive, so i wanted to show "see i have value despite how weird i am, please accept me, please love me"

and sometimes it was "ive learned a lot over the course of my life, things i wish dearly someone had told me, i want to tell stories where the things i learn can find those who need them, i want to wipe tears and i want to create a safe place to grow and heal. I want to help my readers heal, the same way books have helped me heal, and to perhaps spare others some of the pain ive suffered in the process"

and other times it was "I want my characters worlds to play out, i want to see what will happen, i want to set the pieces in place and see what unfolds. i want to see my world come to life"

and sometimes it was just a challenge to prove to myself what i can do.

Now its taken on something a tad more selfish , but a lot more fun.

Now i write because its fun, it makes me happy, i love the craft itself, and learning why and how different things work. i love discussing writing, i love WRITING itself, and i love finding new ways to better embrace one of my most precious skills.

Writing has become my passion *something i love* and i seek to understand and grow in. Now i write for myself, sometimes to work through my own things, sometimes to bring life to something, but always at its core, i want to write for myself, and to be self indulgent and have fun.

I try to love writing the way I love art. I want to write for myself, and not a noble craft that changes lives and hearts. if it does that in the process then i couldnt be happier, but if not, then what matters is writing changes my life and helps me understand my own heart better.

for example lately, i can look back on all my writing...and i see the gentle foreshadowing of my love for my dear boyfriend in its earliest stages and how it blossomed for him, and even where i began to be more okay with the idea that perhaps, love was not so scary and awful a thing...and how many things mirrored my love for him in its earliest stages.

Theres no better tattle-tale than a book, let me tell you...but its very hard to read a book and catch the authors tail in the process unless you know them well.

their favorite and least favorite tropes for example...are the wakes made from an authors tail you know?

and if you dig under the surface enough youll sometimes find things even the author doesn't know about themselves

hence why the curtains being blue matters so much.

*i* sure didnt know why I liked jesters and clowns so much, but dear frick did i feel exposed when my friends told me why I do-

hoo boy, thats also probably the scariest thing about writing though..

Writeblr Interview Tag

Thank you for the tag, @sableglass!

Short stories, novels, or poems?

To read, all of the above. To write, I’m very good with journal articles and short stories but if left unchecked some of them might turn into giant novels.

What genre do you prefer reading?

Fantasy, romance, adventure, but really anything that brings me into a world different from ours. Also I have a weakness for dragons and animals in general, so anything that tangentially involves them is on my radar.

Are you a planner or a “write as I go” kind of person?

I am trying really hard to be a planner! My first big story project crashed because I tried to write as I go, resulting in a mess of scenes with the same ideas in five different pages at the same time (including the backside of hundreds of drawings) and too many re-starts to count. Lots of re-writing that didn’t fix the core issues, and ultimately more material added to the chaos. It did not work out.

My current WIP, Project TL, is going at a slower pace, but this time I made sure to organise everything from the start so it’s actually pretty neat and I have no trouble navigating my files or editing!

What music do you listen to while writing?

Sometimes it’s a song, sometimes just music, sometimes ambient sounds. Genre doesn’t matter either, as long as it is appropriate to the scene. In general terms, if the song/music reminds me of good memories, then it is on my list.

For a while I listened to BTS, then to a piano cover of Heaven Official’s Blessing, then to the  lo-fi hip-hop radio. It really, really varies.

Favorite books/movies?

I love all of Licia Troisi’s books, but especially the Chronicles of the Emerged World trilogy. I grew up with her books!

As for movies I think the LOTR movies could be my favourite.

Any current WIPs?

One! In short, Project TL is about dudes, drama and dinosaurs.

What happens if the mentor isn’t there to guide the young noble boy? Very avoidable teenage adventures of course! From getting his nose into the local drama to exploring dangerous forests, all while trying to find some great treasure to bring home. Also, a possible romance with his roommate (who can shapeshift into a dinosaur for reasons you’ll have to read later to know)...

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

^ Something of the sort, I suppose. My wardrobe is very basic.

Create a character description of yourself: 

I'm shy! My drawings are all you'll get :P

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Not really. Some aspects of people yes, but the people themselves are a big no-no. I prefer detaching the real person from the behaviour of a fictional character. I don’t even like to use names of people I know in stories.

Are you kill happy with your characters?

Sometimes I put them in very dangerous situations, but I actually prefer when they get out of them. Killing my darlings feels very bad. I want them to live happily, or to at least get a happy ending. They do deserve it.

Coffee or Tea while writing?

In the winter, tea! This year I found a very nice tea shop and got many different flavours to try. Some were a hit and some less so, but I'm pretty excited to start drinking again hot stuff once summer is over!

In any season other that winter, water and fruit juice. This girl does not have what it takes to drink sparkly water.

Slow or fast writer?

Slooooooow! I like to edit a lot. Althought English is not my first language, I feel like I got the grasp on ho to make a sentence flow well.

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

A lot comes from knowledge I acquired over the course of my life. Often I ask myself how a situation could go differently, or why things have to be a certain way. Then boom, a story is born. Most of them last a short few minutes while others make it to the end of the day. Only a handful stay with me for a lifetime, and those I hold very dearly.

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Let me be a cat! They have the perfect life literally in any world. Eat fancy (or not), lounge in the sun for hours, strut around the town, climb high places and even get loved for just meowing. I wish my life was like that.

Most fav book cliche:

Saving the damsell in distress. Does not have to be literal, but I love it when someone in trouble gets a helping hand!

Least favorite cliche:

Miscommunication. Please just talk to each other!!!!

Favorite scene to write?

Quiet moments together. Comfortable in each other’s presence, maybe joking a little, maybe opening up about what they really think… So many possibilities in a simple stress-free interaction.

Also cuddles and physical closeness in general.

Reason for writing?

I must release my visions into this world.

Tag list (because I think you are all cool people):

@mr-orion @glitched-dawn @silentstaresfanficandfanart @theverumproject @uraniumwriting @princefluph @xenascribbles @wordsandwordsbyme @shenaniganssketched @creative-author @thedeerwight

[colourful-void]

For the pokemon berry ask meme, how about Iapapa?

Iapapa. What kind of rival concept would you like to see in the series next?

I ACTUALLY HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS!!!!

here's are 3 of my favourite ideas! Im givin them names for fun, and since gen 9 is coming up the starters i use as examples will be the gen 9 starters!

Rival Clarin: a new friend, since you were close in age you were excited to get your starters at the same time and start your journeys together. However while the player character is excited and raring to go, Clarin actually, isn't. She loves her Fuecoco or whatever, and she takes good care of it, she's just... not interesteed in battling. Your first few rival fights are pretty lowkey, she doesn't collect a lot of other pokemon to fight with and her starter evolves late. Everytime she fights you it's because Fuecoco and Sprigatito were just really excited to fight each other, and she can't say no to that faceee. Really the rivarly is stronger between the pokemon than the people. Buttt as the journey continues, Clarin befriends a (new region mon) and helps an injured (local bird mon) that wants to stay with it. Because of the player character's excitement and the pokemon pushing her, Rival Clarin finds her love of pokemon battling, and puts up a good fight before the league! In post game you can see her studying and learning more about pokemon battles, telling you that next time she'll challenge you and put up a real fight!

Rival Micah: childhood friend! Even before you got your starters, you both have been competitive your whole life. Micah wins pretty frequently, but once you guys start your journey, you begin to pull ahead. Your Sprigatito is just too strong for his Quaxly. Similar to previous rivals, part way through the game Micah begins to doubt himself and struggles. Then, he finds a group of trainers who work to push each other, who is never seen on screen but he talks about in his dialogue in his fights. his difficulty as a trainer spikes after this and only keeps growing. Hints are dropped throughout the game, and as his team grows you notice the pokemon he's aquiring are starting to match the ones the villian team keeps around. Turns out your rivals gotten mixed in with Team Whatever and your final battle with them is part of the conclusion of the villian team arc in the story. After beating them, they ask themselves why that can't beat you anymore, and the player character (or a helpful npc around to keep the player silent), points out that they've bonded with their pokemon, where as somewhere along the way Micah's pokemon stopped being his partnersI. Micah realizes this and apologizes, vowing to do better and let his pokemon be with trainers who value them more. Later you can find him with his fully evolved Fuecoco, which decided to stay with him. He doesn't have much of a big fight, but he's stopped comparing himself with you, so it doesn't bug him too much.

and finally

Rival Ivy: As referenced by them fairly frequently, they met you around a year ago, where they protected you from a wild (regional dog) attack. The player character is notably a bit nervous about starting their journey, but you're still excited to journey for yourself, hoping to overcome these nerves. Ivy is your big sibling figure, and they spend the game helping you out and guiding you. They're SUPER protective of you, pushing around the local villain team and making sure no one picks on you. 3/4s of the way through the game, they notice you're surpassing them, but they're still determined to protect you. In the end game of the villain plot, Ivy's taken hostage or attacked, and the player has to rescue them. They cry a little and smile, saying that "{their} little sibling's really grown up...". They give you a strong final battle, saying they wont hold back anymore and they're really proud of how far you've come. When you visit them post game they say that you don't need them to protect you anymore, but they're always up for a battle between siblings.

those are my rival ideas!!! maybe ill draw em out one day!

from the pokemon berry ask game!