#if you cannot think outside of your vote blue no matter who bubble just get the fuck out of my face

[notbeyondbirthday]

If I see another liberal downplaying how much of a ghoul Biden is compared to the ~insurrectionist cheeto~ I'm choosing violence. You can't even bring yourself to condemn a man bankrolling, arming and running defense for a GENOCIDE past 'he's not the best guy'??? Are you fucking kidding me? When you talk like this, you reveal exactly what it is you actually care about and what it is you're willing to fight for and what you're willing to give up.

If you use this softball, dismissive language to DANCE around the fact that this man is a fucking MONSTER because you're terrified of making him look bad compared to Trump (as if THAT'S what's gonna make him lose the election) then you've made the Palestinian people your sacrificial fucking lambs. You've confirmed that you'll NEVER hold this empire accountable if your personal safety and comfort is at risk.

We knew that already, of course. You're just finally saying the quiet part out loud.

[dragonmaiden79]

Sir Knight, Taj

Introducing, Madame Tajira

People left Vesuvia in droves after the horrendous situation involving the palace and word spread like wildfire, traveling with the survivers and bystanders alike, plummetting the country into poor conditions. Abandoned businesses and homes meant suffering economy, with land becoming cheaper and cheaper to encourage people to move back or stay; It had become destitute and were it not for the Magician, the Lovers, and the Fool's constant support and efforts, nothing would have remained. The Countess had no supporters left.

"Serves her right, doing this to me..." Said the bitter, homeless former Count as he read a discarded news paper in an alley. He crumpled it up and tossed it away, ducking behind a few trash cans to avoid the royal guard as they marched by.

He had been lurking in the shadows since begging wasn't feeding him enough, turning to petty theft. The shop and store owners became fed up in a matter of weeks, and had reported his worthless ass without a second thought. He scratched at his patchy beard and looked at his worn, dingy clothes. Suddenly the concept of wearing all white became incredibly overrated. "No one in all the history of mankind..." he grumbled to himself, slinking from back alley to back alley like common trash. He slipped in a puddle of Lord-knows-what and screeched indignantly. "Has ever suffered as I am now!!!" He growled, gritting his teeth as the cool, foul smelling liquid seeped into his pants.

"Hey, wasn't that-"

"Oh, that was definitely him."

It's too bad Lucio was so horrible at being inconspicuous. The rapid clang of metal approaching didn't allow him time to dwell on his miserable fate and he quickly staggered to his feet, trying to find a place to hide. It was at this moment that the worn leather heels that he had refused to give up upon his banishment broke, sending him careening to the ground. The last thing he remembered was the feel of cold cobblestone against his face and the metal clang from the knights armor as they surrounded him.

A splash of ice water snatched him from his unconscious state. He looked around frantically, realizing that he was flanked by a knight on both sides, each holding onto a chain that was coiled around his body. He immediately began to rant and struggle. "What the hell is this!? I can take you both--"

"Settle down, Count Lucio." Said a smooth, sultry female voice.

He followed the sound of the voice upwards to a dais, where a petite woman clad in armor stood looking down at him. More careful inspection made him realize that she wasn't alone too; There was a semicircle of about 11 chairs a behind her, all except 1 occupied by very regal and well dressed individuals with decorated faces masks, and head pieces.

"...Or I should say, former Count." The woman continued speaking. "Yes... The former Count of a bastardization of a country. It's a shame what you have been reduced to."

Lucio growled.

"Judgement will be enacted here, today, on you, dear Lucio. You are charged with several counts of theft, threats, harassment, and even a couple of physical assaults due to your behavior involving my lovely citizens. Your testimony begins now. My council will then take a vote based off of your word and your word alone, leaving me to consider their opinions before I make the final decision. How do you plea?"

"Not guilty!" He shouted, "Your townspeople are so stingy and selfish! You'd think they'd help me out, but no!"

The woman laughed shrewdly, glancing over her shoulder at the council members. "Okay, Lucio. While you do seem adamant in your stance, there are a few specific charges that I must ask you about. Did you steal food from any of the local vendors?"

"I would hardly call such gruel 'food'!"

"Did you get into a fight with a man whom you claimed to be 'being greedy' because he bought what you considered an excess amount of fruit and refused to share with you?

"Who eats THAT much fruit?"

"Did you threaten or menace at any children for teasing you on the streets?"

"Those brats were asking for it! They're lucky I didn't tan their hides!"

The woman fell silent for a brief moment. "Is there anything else you would like me to know, Count?"

"Your backstreets are filthy, these chains are awful, and --"

"About your case, Lucio."

"Nope. Clearly I've done nothing wrong. So whaddya say? I'm done now, right?"

She laughed shortly again. "Very well then. Regarding the testimony of the accused, Grand Council, how say you?"

One by one each elaborately decorated Noble rose and stated their verdict, which turned out to be unanimous. "Guilty."

"Mmhmm. Duly noted." She nodded. "Count Lucio, if you'll look to your left you'll see that carved into the white stone walls of this arena is a lion. On the opposite side, to your right is a bull. These are permanent symbols of the two houses that came together to build this country and comprise it's nobility. As such, I am to adhere to the laws set by each house in my position as acting Princess of Pierreblanc."

She leapt elegantly from the dais and landed a perfect summersault in the center of the arena, approaching Lucio slowly until she stood before him. "You have a stunning lack of discipline and are completely irresponsible, which means that the short-comings that riddle your life are rooted in your childhood. Therefore, where other people have failed you, I shall succeed. You will be properly trained and imparted with the skills and knowledge to function as a productive member of my society."

She gestured to the lion carving. "Through the dignity and authority on my left side," and then raised the other hand to point to the bull. "Partnered with the magnanimity and valor of my right... This is true justice, for the ignorant cannot be properly tried." Her voice echoed throughout the arena. "Have you any legitimate way or reason to contest my judgement?"

His eyes widened in a mix of fear and shock. "What are you on about? You aren't going to let me go!?"

She laughed, far too amused by Lucio's attitude to correct his manners. "Then I shall make my ruling immediately. I, Princess Tajira of Branch Et Serpentium, declare that you, former Count of Vesuvia 'Lucio' Montag Morgasson, be sentenced to indefinite full-time etiquette training with Most High advisor and royal tutor, Giles Christophe. Guards, that will be all."

***

The Guards escorted Lucio all the way from the arena to the fantastic display of architecture that was the Pierreblanc Palace. The stones that composed the building were bright white and perfectly polished, making them reflect every color of the rainbow and giving the entire thing an ethereal quality. There were many slick curves and perfect arches that gave it a unique silhouette and the gates were twinkling gold. Even Lucio was stunned into silence.

Awaiting him there was a clean cut purple haired man and a team of six maids.

"You may release him." He said to the guards that held Lucio's chains. "Quickly now, he desperately needs to be bathed and fed." They wasted no time in heeding the orders, finally removing the biting metal from the former Count's wrists and neck.

"I am Giles Christophe and by royal decree you are my responsibility from this moment on. I will ensure that Madame Tajira is satisfied with your reformation, but for now we will escort you to your personal quarters and attempt to make you presentable at once. Understood?"

"Great! Finally some proper treatment around here."

Giles merely frowned his disapproval. The Princess told him that he'd have his work cut out for him in even before her officers had made the arrest.

**

"He's kind of a bimbo, but if anyone can fix him, it's you."

"If you don't mind my asking Madame, why not one of our traditional corrections facilities?"

"Ah, yes." She had said, lounging in her tub full of sweet smelling bubbles, a bath girl feeding her small slices of fruit. "It's gotten very stuffy around here, so he will be a breath of fresh air- A ray of sunshine even! Just fix him up a bit." She said, waving her hand dismissively. "He is nothing to be concerned about."

**

Giles shook his thoughts away as he lead Lucio to his quarters, the maids in tow. "Her Majesty has personally selected and furnished this room for you." He said as he opened the door and gestured in.

The room was gorgeous; the farthest wall of it was made entirely of sliding glass doors, which opened up to huge balcony tiled in sparkling opal. The bed was a magnificent piece of art and the centerpiece of the room. It was low sitting and round with a blue chiffon canopy that extended from the ceiling to veil it. Much bigger than a king sized bed, it had no defined head or foot board but instead carved polyhedron railings to stand in their places.

Lucio didn't have much time to admire though, as he was then led out of a pair of double doors within the room. Exiting, he noted that suddenly he was two maids short. It went outside to a tall stone staircase that led down to a what appeared to be an empty pool. There were towering white and gold marble lion statues on each side of it. "Her taste isn't half bad! Much better than her attitude." He said to no one in particular.

Giles exhaled with annoyance, "Ladies, if you'd please." He said to the maids as he moved to a bench that sat near the pool, sending them into perfectly practiced action. They all disrobed to reveal different variations of soft, elegant curvature that could only be described as uniquely female and split into teams of two. One set used magic to get themselves atop the lion heads; Completely synchronized, they put their hands together as if meditating and water began to flow down from the mouths of the lions, and into the pool. In conjunction with them, the others began quickly undressing Lucio, leaving him bared from his rags in a matter of moments. "My, my ladies, one at a time..." He remarked, as if he wasn't in desperate need of care.

Little to no maintenance had been done to him since his eviction from Vesuvia so his skin was sunburnt and dirty, not to mention his overgrown facial hair and chipped nails. Even his golden arm had lost all of its luster and most of its magic, making it hard for it to function. His stench was wretched to the noses of everyone within arms reach as well. Certainly he needed to be cleansed as soon as possible. "This water is freezing!" He cried out, as the girls pulled him down few stairs that led into the pool. "I can't bathe like this! Back in MY palace there was hot water!"

"Give them a moment." Giles said sharply, having had his fill of Lucio's commentary.

He winced at the harshness of Giles' tone but, remained silent as the girls in the bath with him hovered their hands over the water, transferring heat into it. Goosebumps began to spread across his skin as the water warmed considerably. Before long, the pool was filled and the other duo had climbed down from the Lions. They moved to the statues' mounts which had hidden compartments that held towels, sponges, soaps, and an assortment of crystals. Each grabbed their own selections, placing them in decorative woven baskets and joined the others in the water.

Yellow and blue crystals were placed about the water, giving it a mysterious green glow with the relaxing energy blanketing the space. As soon as the soothing aura touched every corner of the water, the same girls who had undressed Lucio, grabbed soap and sponges from the baskets now afloat and went to work.

As they scrubbed his skin, layers of caked up dirt and sweat mixed with the suds and permeated the water. He moaned as they went further down, switching to a soft cloth to clean his dick and balls. They were thorough and gentle, massaging and caressing his sack until he was at full attention. A small crystal chair was synthesized with stone magic for him to be seated, so that his hair could be washed. It was so greasy that the shampoo wouldn't lather when the girl- the one Lucio thought the cutest, massaged it into his scalp.

She had olive skin and green eyes, with freckles and black hair. Her fingers felt like magic as they danced across his head, scrubbing diligently until finally, on the third go, the shampoo lathered into a nice foam. He relaxed into the touches of her and her tall, slender partner who had just finished washing his chest and was now seated on his lap, massaging his shoulders. "Ohhh, this is more like it..." He moaned, "Hey, what're your names?"

"I see you're enjoying my girls, Lucio." Came the Princess' voice from the long stairwell. "The one who washes your hair is called Ariella. Zafira is on your lap." She stepped directly into the pool without regard for the thin, loosely tied white robe she wore, carrying a long decorative case.

As the two maidens that prepared the baskets made the glowing water circulate around them, Tajira approached, giving a kiss each to Ariella and Zafira. Slowly, she trailed her fingers down Lucio's golden arm. "Mmm...What magnificent piece this was in your glory days, Wasn't it Count?" He frowned but otherwise made no comment as she let her fingers carefully trace over every detail and intricacy of the arm. "Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful..." She whispered, free hand coming to rest on his shoulder. "Can you feel my touches, Lucio?" He widened his eyes, unprepared for the question.

"O-Of course I can feel it!" He shouted. She raised an eyebrow. "I mean...Well, mostly... Somewhat." He conceded, blushing. "It doesn't exactly work like it used to."

"I didn't think so." Taj said, her own magic bleeding into his shoulder, making it tingle.

"Hey, what are you--!" He began to protest. Suddenly, the golden prosthetic popped off, falling into the water and sinking to the bottom of the pool. "Why did you do that!?!" He cried out in alarm, girls still draped over him. Without a word, she popped open the fancy case that she was carrying to reveal perhaps the most sumptuous piece of work that Lucio had ever laid eyes on.

An arm. Crafted of diamond-- the purest blue diamond. With perfectly sized gold scales and 4 mounted red andesine going up it's shoulder. "I know red is your preferred color, but as you assimilate into the House, I would like you to look the part. I hope it still within the parameters of your taste. Will you accept my gift?"

He ran his fingers over the smooth finish of the diamond underside, to the perfect ridges of the golden scales, and then finally, over the bright red stones that decorated the piece. It even had tiny, fine-line etchings on it. "Yes!" He said with childlike enthusiasm, "I can really have it?"

"Certainly." She said with a glimmer of a smirk. "We will have it attached for you as soon as you're settled."

"Well Tajira, was it?" he said seductive smile tugging on his lips.

"Taj, please." She said. Giles’ small gasp could be heard in the background.

"Taj, then. I am very, very thankful for your present. You know, if there's anything that you want me to do to repay you, I'll do it." He batted his long blonde lashes at her. With his erect cock out and two beautiful women clinging to him, pouting and writhing in place it was incredibly hard to deny...

"Not yet." Taj reminded herself in her head. She bristled in place, eyes having gone slightly hooded and dark as she slowly closed the case for the arm. She loathed denying the throbbing of her nether regions. "No..." She said out loud. "You won't ever have to pay me back."

"What? You're sure?" He asked in disbelief.

"No, no, it doesn't work like that. This my pleasure. Giles, hold onto it for him." She said, exiting the water. The white fabric, now see through clung to her as she approached him, accentuating her thick thighs, toned calves, and perky rump. "Bring him to dinner after you're done in here. I want the Council and House Advisors to see him up close and groomed before you begin the discipline process.

"Yes, Madame." Giles nodded slowly. "You-- You're certain of this choice? To have him before the Nobles without any training?"

"It's not as if they can tell me not to." She shrugged casually. "And it's not as if I will allow them to question your advisory skills, If that's what you are concerned about." She kissed his cheek, patting his shoulder lightly. "Now, I must go dress myself." She continued with a nod. "I shall see you all tonight." And with that, she swept out of the room.

Ch.1 End.

Hope you enjoyed! There will be another part!

[adorkablegaybies]

The Language of Gems

A Steven Universe Theory By ME! TL;DR at the bottom

Have you ever wondered what language the gems are actually speaking? Did you just take for granted that Steven Universe is a children's cartoon so 'of course everyone can understand each other!'? Well I have a theory for you, one that I believe makes decent sense within the Steven Universe world.

I propose to you that Gems do not actually 'speak' as their native language (Native- as in the language one learns naturally from birth before any others). Instead I theorize that Gems as a race instead use a form of Short-Range Radio Waves or some form of short-range telepathy to speak with each other. Now before you start nay-saying hear me out, I actually have some canon content to work with as evidence.

So as we know, Gems are not organic beings. They do not need to eat, sleep, or breathe, and can withstand extreme temperatures depending on their Gem. So then, why would a race that does not need to breathe have any reason to form lungs (which requires either shape shifting or regeneration to change their form) in order to develop a language? Oh, no doubt they were quick to pick up on the languages of other intelligent species as they conquered the galaxy if only to make things easier for themselves in the long run, but they would have little to no need to do so before that point (This does not presume that Gems are a created Race who over threw their creators but even then their language would be vastly different).

So then with that in mind let me bring to your attention some canon details.

1. The first thing that brought this thought to my attention was during the episode "Bubbled" when Eyeball Ruby and Steven are floating through space. 

Despite there being no atmosphere (which Science says you need to produce sounds such as talking) both Steven and Eyeball are able to talk and hear each other with Eyeball remaining outside of the bubble Steven has produced. Assuming that Steven's bubble is capable of producing the amount of oxygen he needs to survive inside of it, this would not provide nearly enough outside of it for Eyeball to create actual sound at volume within the void. So then how can Steven hear her? My first thought was Radio waves which are known to travel unimpeded through the void of space, and which can cause some crystals to vibrate at certain frequencies. (Feel free to fact check this part as I'm unsure whether all crystals are capable of vibrating when exposed to various sound frequencies but know that some can). The second thought was a form of 'telepathy' utilized by gems who create physical forms out of light.

2. The second instance that brought this to mind was in the "Human Zoo" arc, in which very much modern human Greg was kidnapped by Blue Diamond. 

The first thing that got me was that both Blue Pearl and Blue Diamond were able to communicate with Greg without difficulty. Both being able to understand and be understood by Him after 5,000 years without setting foot on the earth. (I'm assuming this is the case, though if she had come to earth to grieve at the palanquin I can also assume that she was likely undisturbed during those times as what sane human would approach a giant blue woman instead of running away?)

The second thing was at the Human Zoo itself. There are several instances here that made me begin thinking about this theory in depth. The first being Holly Blue Agate and her responses to Steven, along with the 2 Amethyst guards who take him to be processed.

Holly Blue hears Steven speaking and comments "OH, their incessant barking. What is it saying?!... Oh, there it goes again with its hilarious noises." as if she either cannot understand what he is saying, or is hardcore choosing to ignore what he is saying in the same way we might ignore someone we find annoying.

The Amethysts also remark that 'Heh, these newer humans are so spunky.' in response to Steven yelling at them to let him go. It is unclear whether they actually understand the words he is using or simply his body language as he is squirming around and shouting.

Now between these instances and the start of their escape, Greg and Steven encounter the Zoomans. Humans who are descended from the ones taken more than 5,000 years ago by the Diamonds. English did not exist 1,000 years ago, and there is no way that the Zoomans and Greg should be able to understand each other with such ease when it is highly likely that Greg only speaks a few phrases of any other language beyond that. So how then could they possibly be able to communicate without more than a few small problems so instantly? 

I bring up the earrings they are all wearing, and that both Steven and Greg were equipped with upon entering the Human habitat.

These little suckers are Gem Tech, and more importantly in my mind, likely the product of some overzealous era 1 Peridot who was told to find a solution to the humans fighting with each other. Because let's be honest, humans are naturally inclined to dislike anything different and this is especially true the further we go back in history. So we have a Zoo filled with Humans of different skin colors, languages, and tribal cultures suddenly being thrust into contact with each other and unable to properly understand each other. They fight each other and they fight the Gems who come to 'help' them. 

In comes that Peridot who goes 'if we make them all the same they won't fight anymore' and so they all wear the same exact clothes. They still can't understand each other and refuse to behave so the same Peridot goes 'I'll make a translator so everyone can understand everyone, and I'll make it tell them what to do too! It'll solve everything!' so she does and it works like it's supposed to, the humans can understand each other no matter what language they use to speak and suddenly all the Gems can understand them as well without having to put any effort into learning or retaining a new language. 

So once they Greg and Steven are given the earrings and enter the zoo, suddenly they seem to be understood by all of the Zoo gems and the Zoomans, as well as being able to understand them with no real difficulties. The Famethyst and Beta's seem to have no issue understanding Steven after they have been 'apprehended' but Greg doesn't say more than a single line during this time. In fact no other line is spoken by either Universe male to another Homeworld gem for the rest of the episode. But...

The Diamonds. The Diamonds arrive at the zoo and have what they believe to be a private moment together which includes a full on song about feelings.

This instance right here is why I really think that the gems use either radio waves or telepathy, because tell me this. Why would a Diamond, Matriarch of her people, thinking herself to be in the company of only another Diamond (Pearls don't count) sing in a language that Greg and Steven could understand? Now sure, the Gem Tech Earrings could be translating, in fact it's very likely. But there is no way the Diamonds would be speaking in anything other than their own Native Tongue during this scene.

3. Now for the biggest piece of evidence, the episode "Off Colors". In which both Steven and Lars have escaped the Diamonds and are on the Run on the Gem Homeworld. This is where they encounter the Off Color Gems and what really gets to me is how Lars and these Gems who have been hiding in the catacombs for 'eons' can both understand and be understood by each other.

Lars has no reason to be able to understand Gems who have never even been to earth in their entire existence, let alone have them understand him in return. So why can they? Steven is very likely the answer there, as he was raised to speak the English language, and more than likely is naturally able to interpret the Gems language both by instinct and by exposure over time. (I also theorize that Gems are able to learn at super accelerated rates and Steven being half Gem grants him some of that ability but that's a whole other issue). So at this point he could be translating unconsciously until the other off color gems pick up the language, or...

Gems have built in language translation capabilities. Their bodies already automatically adapt to the gravity of any planetoid (Ep It could have been Great) so why not automatically learn to understand languages of the sentient species you encounter? It does make sense when you think about it, but they are no longer speaking 'their' native tongue they are instead speaking in a foreign language.

4. A few other instances that pop up in the series and add to this theory. (In no particular order)

-Bismuth being able to speak and be understood by Steven inside of Lion's Mane (a place where there is no air)

-Bismuth being able to understand Steven only second's after being brought back from 5,000 years of being bubbled.

-Lapis understanding Human language after 5,000 years as a mirror and being able to use it to communicate within an hour.

-The literal usage and understanding of words shown by Peridot who was likely not given any reason to learn the language before her first encounter with Steven over the screen in the kindergarten but was still able to speak with him without issue.

-Steven being able to communicate with Centipeedle enough that she could understand him, despite being able to verbally speak to him.

Basically, language is complicated and changes constantly so when Gems and Humans can understand each other immediately without issue we know there is some sort of Alien chicanery going on behind the scenes. My vote is for the short range radio frequencies because they do not require atmosphere, can be picked up by multiple sources within range, and Steven as a half-gem is canonically shown to be able to understand them in these instances. 

What do you think? Is it plausible? Am I completely wrong? Are there parts of the show that I missed that agree with me? That disagree with me? Either way, thanks for taking the time to read this post.

TL;DR My Steven Universe Theory is that Gems have built in language translators and use short range radio waves to communicate with each other as their native language.

[loseitall-ff]

4.

Rih POV

Pushing the covers back away from my body as I slowly got up from the hotel room bed, reaching down and pickup up my top and quickly placing it on my exposed body. Looking down at myself, I feel like shit, looking behind me and seeing a sleeping Mychal turned away from me. I swallowed hard, what did I do and why do I do this. Closing my eyes as I turned my head back away from him, I sighed heavily. I feel dirty and I need to clean myself, why do I do it to myself and I always regret it. Getting up from the bed, I feel like some used up hoe. Picking up my clothes from the floor as I made my way to the bathroom, picking up my phone from the hotel room floor that was thrown across the room. Tiptoeing to the bathroom and closing the door behind me, my back against the door I slowly slid down as a sob left my lips. It is my own stupid fault, I did it, I let Mychal get his way. A month later and we are dating each other now, I was angry so I accepted Mychal to be my man but I did it to despite him. Last night Chris text me, but we don’t just text we argue over text now, I let Liana stay with Joyce so Chris can see her but Chris still text me, questioning me on what I am doing. Mychal knows Chris is around but he said I don’t show him love or give him time, my phone was pushed out of my hands, apparently I don’t open my legs as easy as people told him, but I guess I showed him.

Holding the towel close to my body with the blunt placed near my lips, I lit the end of the blunt “why are you sat out here with a towel on?” Mychal asked, I have not had a blunt in a while, I actually stopped even after having Liana but this, I needed. I always keep a supply with me recently. I knew this day would come, blowing the smoke out slowly “because I can, didn’t want to wake you” I said without looking at him “what if someone sees you?” I let out a little laugh “not like I haven’t showed my boobs before, calm down” taking some more of the blunt in “well I rather you not do it out here, I’m sorry though. I am sorry for getting annoyed with you and saying what I said. You was texting Chris and there was no reason too, he has Liana so why was he texting?” he questioned “because that is him, you accept it or you don’t but we will argue everyday” I said bluntly “you tell him don’t then” my face scrunched up “you want another argument? I said what I said, you accept that shit ok?” Mychal is less than impressed “like when he sends me abuse? I accept it” Mychal said, I shrugged “he cares” I said, they do not know Chris, but I do.

Mychal walked back inside and I breathed a sigh of relief, this is why I can’t do other men. They can’t take Chris, they cannot accept that he will always be there and guess who gets the shit from it, me. I get all shit like it is my fault, like I ask for him to be like that. He just wants what is his and he needs to let it go, shaking my head staring off to the sky. I am still not over that he called me a jumped up bitch but I refuse to let Liana get involved, I left her with Joyce which I didn’t want to do but I did. I did it because Mychal kept bugging me saying we do not spend time together, but then Chris is Chris, he kept texting me all night. I think I need to get dressed, I have an awards show to go too today and Liana to pick up. Stepping back in to the room, I felt sick seeing the bed. I didn’t honestly want to have sex but I felt obliged and after seeing the video of Chris and his hoe, I let go and now I feel like shit, I really do.

Driving the highway with my phone pressed against my ear “I’m finna see my daughter at my mom’ house, shawty will then pick her up. I’ll be home after that” I said to Mijo, I shouldn’t really be talking on the phone while driving the highway but it’s whatever “she letting you see little ninja? I miss her fool, give her my love. You going to the awards show? Please say no” I chucked “now why would I say no to that? I need to go there, I am voted and winning remember?” I am legit voted for an award and also, Robyn is going to be there and last night she said she is taking her little fuckboy with her with Liana, I don’t know why I want to upset myself but I don’t care. I am actually still content in punching him, I am just trying to be good for Liana. My lawyer said I need to be good so I can at least get joint custody “let me come with you, I think you need me there” I was actually going to take Ava with me “fine, you come with me. Fuck Ava, she was asking but I rather take my bro” changing lanes on the highway “I will get ready” it’s been a while actually, Mijo ain’t been with me to an awards show for a while.

Closing the car door behind me and locking it as I made my way up my momma’ drive, I got this home for her to be closer to us which has worked out good for me. Stuffing my phone in my pocket as I got to the front door, looks like my auntie is here too. Knocking on the door, my mom didn’t want a flash home but I got her living in a white area with a nice home “I think daddy is here for you sweetie” I could hear my mom say, my mom opened the door slowly. Liana stood with her mouth open, I gasped “my little bunny, look at your hair!!” stepping inside “I left you for one night, grandma got your hair all out. You got you an afro baby girl” picking her up “I have bath and lots and lots of bubbles!!” she shouted, walking with Liana to the living room “that many? Wow, that sounds like a lot” I put Liana to bed and then went out last night, I came back right on time for her in the morning.

Smiling at Liana, I can just watch her all day “baby, you want to eat some food now. You wanted to wait for dad” Liana looked up from her toys “yes, I go out now” she quickly got up and ran to me “you eat?” she placed her hands on my knees “answer me!” she jumped in one spot “have I eaten? Nah, I haven’t baby” I said, my auntie smiled “she is wanting something from you” I know she is “we go and eat” rubbing my face laughing “grandma finna make you some food, why you want to go out for?” I really don’t feel like driving anywhere to eat “chicken dad!” she spat, I scoffed closing my eyes “I rather go to sleep, I don’t want no chicken today” resting my head back pretending to sleep “don’t sleep!!” feeling Liana climb on me “please!” opening my eyes as Liana dragged herself up using my top “only if you give me kiss and tell me how much you love me” I am so under the thumb “you give me kiss” she turned her face, she is so cheeky. Leaning my head forward, biting her cheek lightly. Liana screamed moving back “are you actually going to take her? You have no bodyguard with you?” my mom said, I sighed “it will be ok, I will take her somewhere quickly around the block” my mom is not happy at all because she is getting her way.

“Stop running!” my mom shouted, I can hear Liana running the hallway towards the living area “I hope you have your shoes on this time” this girl takes her time on getting ready, Liana came in giggling “what? Baby, your hair” I pointed, she hasn’t even done it “look dad, same!” she lifted her foot up with her Js on, looking down at mine “we twins baby” shuffling off the couch a little, sitting on the edge “we finna flex on them niggas, give me some love” holding my fist out, Liana fist bumped me “that’s right baby, we flexing” she shuffled closer to me “I got it you dad” she held up her hair tie “me?” holding my hand out “you want me to do it?” she nodded “she wouldn’t let me do it so good luck” the only thing I can do is simple shit “well if you trust me, I will do it?” she nodded standing in front of me, I am still learning all of this. Gathering Liana’ hair with my hands “who would have thought, my son dressing his daughter. I am so happy you had a girl first” my mom beamed “who says I am having more” I said smiling.

I had to wear a seatbelt, child in the car. I have to act right, safety first and all that. Letting out a sigh “so my lady, where are you wanting to go? You got me out now” she kicked her legs around, she is such a joyful child. I swear I love her so much “chicken” why does she keep saying chicken “right, chicken and waffle sound good to you?” I asked, she nodded “music dad” she clapped, putting my key in the ignition “because we don’t do this much, whatever you say goes. You want daddy music or mommy music?” she paused thinking “mommy music” of course she does, she calls any female singer mommy music. Hooking my phone up, clearing the messages from my screen “so we going to play some Beyoncé, I can deal with that or Nicki Minaj. Actually no, let’s just play Beyoncé” pressing play on Flawless “yes?” she grinned, touching Liana’ cheek.

Grabbing Liana’ hand as I drove “you wake up” I sang, Liana held my thumb staring at me “post up, flawless” looking back on the road quickly before looking at Liana “ladies tell em!” pulling Liana’ hand up “I woke up like this! I woke up like this!” Liana giggled “ladies tell em, say I look so good tonight” I sang letting Liana’ hand go, I couldn’t help join in on that. I better keep my eyes on the road. “Daddy being silly now” I said, the song skipped to the next track “you want this song on?” I asked, Blue came on next and I didn’t want to listen to the song because it kind of makes a little sad “yes! I like” of course she does “Sometimes these walls seem to cave in on me, when I look in your eyes, I feel alive. Some days we say words that don’t mean a thing, but when you holding me tight, I feel alive” Beyonce sang, I sighed quickly glancing over Liana, she is so content right now looking out of the window. I still remember holding Liana for the very first time, that moment will never leave me because I found a person that needed me, no matter my faults she will see me as her hero and I want that forever.

Parking outside of iHop, I ain’t finna drive out in the city for this, I want to be quick because I am on my own too. Putting the car in park, the music played on still as I took the engine off. Looking over at Liana putting her hands up to seven, eleven. I can tell Robyn must put this on a lot, I giggled at her just dancing in her car seat. Grabbing my phone and unlocking it, quickly going on my camera. Flipping to the front camera, facing it Liana with my face still in the camera smiling mad hard, she is still dancing on her own. Moving to the side closer to Liana while staring at my phone, Liana clocked me but still continued, facing Liana and started singing “girl I’m tryna kick it with you, girl I’m tryna kick it with you” Liana put her hand in my face to move me, stopping the video. Let me post this online ‘chicken will make her dance! She got me driving for chicken! #DaddyandDaughtertime’ pressing send.

She is my little woman, she is actually staring at the menu “stop being grown” pulling the menu towards me “no!” she whined mean mugging me “what you want?” I asked, she is staring at me like I swore at her “it’s a menu woman, tell me what you want and I will give it back” pushing it back towards her “chicken” she said simply looking back at the menu again, why she finds that interesting I don’t know. Looking around iHop I have a whole audience of workers staring in shock and then I also have the people, I hope they stay away and take pictures from afar. The white older lady came alone, luckily she is old so she won’t be busy staring into my eyes “hi” she said smiling “and who do we have here, have we decided” Liana looked up at her “you decided what you want from there?” the lady pointed at the menu “yes” Liana said, she picking her own thing now. Looking over at the menu while Liana pointed at the Ice Cream Sundae “sure you will have that” side eyeing Liana “I will write that down for you” the lady smiled looking at me “not to worry” she showed me her blank notepad, I chuckled.

Sitting down in Joyce’ house, I honestly wanted to come here and pick up Liana and just go, but they have gone out “did you have a nice date?” Joyce openly asked, I was taken back. I didn’t thinks she would have asked “it was good” reluctant to say “don’t be shy with me baby, you are like a daughter to me” she sat down next to Christine “yes girl, we been knowing you for years now. Just because you aren’t with that stupid nephew of mine we still care” Christine said, that is so sweet of them “I appreciate it, you guys have always been so supportive. Like my second family, it went well” deep down it was the worst date of my life, I feel ashamed “are you ok sweetie?” Joyce asked, I was about to speak but the door opened, lucky break for me.

Getting up from the couch “they are back!” Joyce announced, walking by me. I walked behind her “oh no, you have ice cream on your top” looking at Liana “mommy!!” she yelped, opening my arms “come here baby” picking her up “what did you eat? You gone all heavy” kissing her cheek, look at her sticky face. I wish I didn’t kiss her face now “she ate some waffle, chicken and dessert” Chris said, I didn’t look at him “can tell” looking at Joyce “I will get her bag” I wish Joyce wouldn’t go and leave me here “so you just going to ignore me?” Chris said, chewing the inside of my cheek “did you have a good time Liana?” she nodded “uh oh, I left book” she shuffled out of my grip, I sighed wishing she wouldn’t leave me too.

Stepping back a little, this is awkward “why are you ignoring me!?” he said again “because this jumped up bitch does not wish to speak to you” he groaned out “let it go, I am sorry. I say shit I do not mean” rolling my eyes scoffing “same, I do shit I don’t mean either. We make mistakes, thanks Chris” why is he even moving closer to me “you have had sex with him?” he said staring me down “shut up asshole” I retorted, smacking his hand away and moving back “why did you have sex with him?” he whispered “you don’t know shit Chris, shut up” he is such a creep “I know you, I know my woman” my eyes dragged towards him, looking into his eyes “I hate you so much, I honestly hate you” I already feel like shit “so you want me to be without you and just rot? Is that it?” he shook his head “I made a mistake, I did wrong I know I did. You did wrong too” I nodded slowly “you have issues, just stay away from me” putting my hand up in his face, Chris grabbed my wrist, I gasped looking at him “stop giving yourself away, I am selfish. I am a bastard and I know that but Mychal is a guy that does not care about you. You know how I know he don’t, because he replies like a dickhead to me about you, a man wouldn’t do that. I do it because I care and no matter what you will always be my woman” snatching my hand away from him “I love you Robyn and you know that, hurts to see you like this” he moved back, swallowing the lump in my throat “hurt to see you do the same” I retorted back “mommy, I got the book” I smiled watching her run at me.

Picking up Liana and grabbing the bag from Joyce “was she good for you?” asking Joyce “she was perfect, made lots of mess for me but I do not care. She kept me company, thank you Rihanna” smiling lightly as I turned around “it’s fine, thank you for having her at such short notice” stepping outside, Rich got out of the SUV “stinky butt, where my kiss at?” Chris shouted at Liana “no kiss” Liana said to him “oh no, I’m sad now” Liana grinned “ok kiss, quick dad” look at her, telling him quickly “see you later, look pretty for me little momma” Chris kissed Liana “love you baby” walking off with Liana, I really don’t want to go now.

I look fresh as hell “thank bro” I said to my barber, he came out here for me “it’s cool” getting up from the chair “looking like some gay Mexican” Hood pointed laughing “how original yogi bear” I pointed back at him “where your invite at fat fuck?” Aaron gasped and busted out laughing “you are my ticket, you know that” he said, kissing my teeth “if she ain’t going then you ain’t either” I said grabbing my camo shirt “what?” Ava said “Mijo took your spot, I need my brother there” I don’t know why she is upset “look, it’s for the best aight” putting my shirt on top of my white tee “why do you two look like two Mexicans?” fastening just my top button “because we do, problem jealous fuck?” Mijo answered for me “should we watch the red carpet then? Will we see a fight? I put a bet on Chris fighting him” these niggas have no type of trust in me at all “my daughter will be there so I won’t do it, if she is not there then I will, point blank” just depends on the situation.

Mijo insisted that we took a bodyguard with us so I did, he is just worried that I will do something but I won’t. I honestly want to be good just because I need to do it for Liana, I want some sort of say in her life. My behaviour has been uncalled for and I need to stop but you know me, just depends “I just realised, I hate awards shows but I can’t wait to see little momma. I know she is going to be fly as hell. My little princess” I said to Mijo “you know how little ninja is, she will stay classy but also beat someone’s ass up. She is the shadiest child I know, my daughter ain’t that bad” laughing at Mijo “you call my daughter shady?” I need him to confirm this “yes I did, she be giving me them looks like uncle Mijo ain’t the coolest nigga she know” the car came to a halt “you know she get that attitude from Rihanna, she taught her well though. Then there is me” my bodyguard got out of the car to open my door “please don’t give me a heart attack, just be good” I chuckled “stop it, you worry too much” shuffling out of the car.

I have no idea if I missed Robyn or she is late but I am usually the late one, it’s actually between the two of us because we are just late to everything. Walking onto the red carpet “Chris!!” the paparazzi shouted, I stood posing as I do while looking around “Chris to the left Chris!” they be shouting the most shit on earth, licking my lips walking further onto the carpet “over here!” they shouted “aahhhhh my brother!” Trey shouted running at me “my nigga” opening my arms, giving him a hug “good seeing you here, I thought you wasn’t coming” he said in my ear “of course, why wouldn’t I. I ain’t finna do shit” walking off with Trey, I am done taking pictures “niggas taking bets, I was like Chris won’t do shit because he got a little girl he loves” Trey said “you right, I do so I won’t” I’m over it now.

I have no idea how I ended up with E News, I was walking and I ended up here. This is awkward, holding the mic “we have Chris Brown, good to see you bro” Terrence said, now I know why. Terrence is my nigga “same to you, I see you have gone up in the world now” I said, Terrence laughed “well what can I say, how you been Chris?” looking around me “uhm good, just came here to see what’s up” keeping my answers neutral “we saw your mini you, she walked the red carpet. Rihanna holding her hand, I waved at her and she ignored me. What is that all about Chris?” I chuckled “uhm, she picks and chooses, she probably didn’t like your face. Joking but she is probably nervous, I am guessing” rubbing the back of my neck “there has been some drama with you, Mychal is here. Would you like to clear up anything?” chewing my bottom lip, well this awkward. No wonder my daughter is sad “there is nothing to clear up, I stand by what I say. If you think it was uncalled for then I don’t care because I ain’t sorry, shout out to OHB though” passing the mic back.

I hate awards shows, full of fake ass people but here I am “he is walking us to our seats” Mijo said to me and pointed at my bodyguard “I can handle myself nigga” Mijo side eyed me “we are going in there, your body language has changed. Let’s keep it one hundred yeah?” he is right, I want to kill Mychal “I know where they have sat you, you have to walk pass Rihanna. You know what let’s just go home” he grabbed my arm “I ain’t your jumpman, I am not going to have it. If you needed that then should have bought Hood” rubbing my neck “be the bigger man, think. Liana will be there. Just keep thinking of her, you can do it” he is right, I wouldn’t want her to see that side of me, I have never been like that in front of her. Nodding my head “we are going to walk by them, I want Big D on the left hand side. I just want to fly by and sit down, no stopping. That means walking by Liana” I guess he is right, seeing that will get me so angry.

Keeping my head down but I couldn’t help but look up, seeing Liana at the side of Robyn in a beige dress. I can tell she is being a pain already, stood up on the seat. Then I see Mychal on the other side of Robyn, fucking annoying bitch. Mijo walking ahead of me, he quickly side stepped and grabbed Liana’ ear before walking off. He turned around as Liana looked on in shock holding her ear, a smile soon played on her face which made me smile. Robyn looked at me and I caught her eyes before looking down. My bodyguard close to my side walking by them, that shit hurt my heart.