#if u are wondering why i get so online. it's the waiting periods. what else can i do

[windrunner]

CAN THE PASSPORT APPLICATION WEBSITE PLEASE LOAD

[blacktofade]

pls oh god of fics pls grant thee touch starved Shane and oblivious Ryan in shyan ship *bows down* (i sent one before and donno if u actually got it cuz it showed error so im sending in another try)

I didn’t get your other ask unfortunately, but this is an idea I’ve been wanting to write like 10k for, but I know I’ll never have the energy. So it’s a little ficlet instead.

CW: Includes post-kidnapping, malnutrition, and an embarrassing lack of touching for a touch-starved prompt.

*

Shane disappears on September 17th. Ryan only remembers because they’d been scheduled to shoot an episode of Weird and/or Wonderful World and he’d had to eventually make the uncomfortable call to the Los Angeles County Arboretum and Botanic Garden to cancel their tour and interview.

It had been funny at first with Shane’s habitual lateness. They’d all assumed he’d slept late, forgot what day it was, and completely blanked on the filming schedule.

It’s less funny a week later when a missing person’s report is filed and Shane’s parents fly out to stay with Scott while they wait for any kind of news.

Detective Flores finds him two states over, a month and a half later. There are six hostages in total, as part of some elaborate heist that’s foiled before it comes to fruition. Shane’s kept in hospital for almost a full week, treated for malnutrition and a few general injuries, the news passed to Ryan through Scott via a DM on Instagram.

For the first time since Shane’s disappearance, Ryan sleeps through the whole night.

On the Saturday following Shane’s return, Ryan wakes to a phone call at eight in the morning.

“Hello?” he answers, voice rough from sleep, brain barely online.

“I’m sorry,” Shane apologizes, but his voice alone is enough to wake up Ryan the rest of the way. It’s the first he’s heard from him. He’d been trying to give the family space and knew Shane would find him once he was ready. Apparently, now is that time. “Can you come pick me up?”

“Sure,” Ryan agrees instantly, shoving back the covers and getting out of bed. “Where are you?”

“My apartment,” Shane admits and Ryan pauses from where he’s trying to dig out a pair of clean pants. “I just need a break.”

“Sure,” Ryan repeats. “I’ll be there in twenty.”

It’s quiet on the other end of the line before, quietly, Shane says, “Thanks, Ryan.”

*

Shane’s waiting at the curb when Ryan pulls up.

Ryan unlocks the door and watches Shane fold himself into his seat, waiting a moment for Shane to settle before reaching over to set a hand on his knee, squeezing gently.

“Hey man,” he says gently. “Long time no see.”

Shane startles at the touch, but glances over, offering a small smile in return.

He looks different. His face is thinner, his cheekbones a little more prominent, and there’s a new scar on the right side of his forehead that disappears into his hairline.

“Hey,” Shane replies, buckling his seatbelt and giving Ryan a view of his right hand, which has two fingers splinted together. “Thanks for coming.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

Ryan stares at him incredulously and eventually Shane looks away, out the passenger side window.

“It’s just hard being surrounded by everyone right now,” he says, clearly talking about his family. “I need a break.”

Ryan checks over his shoulder and pulls back onto the road.

“Is my apartment okay? Or did you want to go somewhere else?”

“Your place is fine,” Shane tells him, and from the corner of his eye, Ryan sees him turn his head, staring as though Ryan won’t notice.

At the next red light, Ryan glances over. “How are you doing?”

Shane looks away, clearly caught. “Getting tired of people asking me that. It’s all anyone asks these days.”

“Guess they just want to know you’re okay.”

Shane glances back towards him. “Could be better,” he says bluntly and Ryan can’t help but let out a quiet huff of laughter.

“Yeah, no shit. But the hospital cleared you?”

“Yeah,” Shane sighs. “Apart from a few broken fingers and some weight loss, I’m okay.”

“I missed you,” Ryan admits. “It’s probably the longest I’ve gone without seeing you since we started at BuzzFeed.”

Shane frowns like he’s thinking and then the frown deepens. “Jesus, you might be right.”

Ryan laughs again. “Horrifying thought, huh?”

“Puts things in perspective.”

“Didn’t you miss me?” Ryan asks jokingly, but Shane doesn’t answer, just laughs quietly.

“It’s weird,” Shane says. “I was never alone, but it feels like I have to relearn how to be around people now.”

Ryan had read the news after Shane’s rescue. There had been five others saved alongside Shane, so he suspects they might be the reason Shane wasn’t alone.

Ryan shrugs gently. “Adjusting is hard, and I’m sure it’s even harder with your family refusing to let you out of their sights.”

Shane shakes his head. “You have no idea. I was in the shower for twenty minutes this morning and they started knocking on the door to see if I was still alive.”

“Rough,” Ryan laments. “Well, you’re welcome to chill at my place for as long as you need.”

“Can I move in?” Shane jokes, but Ryan just shrugs.

“If that’s what you want.”

It’s silent for a moment before Shane says, “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

Ryan offers him a smile. “Of course, dude. It’s what I’m here for.”

It’s quiet for the rest of the drive until Ryan pulls into his usual parking spot and glances over. “You good?

Shane nods and carefully unbuckles his seatbelt. “Yeah, I’ve got it.”

Ryan’s chest tightens watching Shane limp his way towards the front door, but he knows the last thing Shane needs is more helicoptering.

“Can I get you anything?” Ryan asks as he shuts the door behind them, watching Shane glance around as though he expects Ryan to have redecorated during his disappearance, but ultimately Shane shakes his head. “Okay, well, make yourself at home. You know the drill. I’m gonna go grab a drink.”

He knows Shane can find his own way to the living room, so he moves around him, heading in the direction of the kitchen instead.

“Ryan?” Shane questions and Ryan pauses, turning back.

“Yeah?”

Shane hesitates like he doesn’t know how to get the words out, but after a moment, he takes two steps closer and draws Ryan into a hug instead.

Ryan isn’t entirely expecting it. Shane’s not a touchy-feely guy, which means Ryan can probably count on one hand the amount of times they’ve hugged. But Shane folds around him so tightly that it startles the breath right out of him.

“I did miss you,” Shane mutters and Ryan lifts his hands to reciprocate, holding Shane as hard as he dares when everything feels so fragile.

“I was really worried,” Ryan admits. “I thought you’d been killed.”

He finds himself rubbing one hand along Shane’s spine, trying to soothe him as Shane tucks his face against his shoulder.

“You were gone for a long time,” Ryan continues.

He can feel the warmth of Shane’s breath through his shirt as he exhales shakily. “They broke my fingers when I tried to escape.”

Ryan holds him tighter, needing them both to understand that Shane’s safe again. Having the weight of Shane leaning against him is grounding in a way he never knew it could be. About a month into Shane’s disappearance, Ryan had gone through a mourning period, assuming he’d never see Shane again. He finds tears prickling his eyes as the relief hits him solidly in the chest.

“God, Shane,” he murmurs and he’s not sure who’s comforting who.

The warmth of Shane spreads through him, all the way down to his toes, like a cup of hot soup on a cold day. Except that Ryan never realized he was too cold until this moment. He feels alive and whole again, and he knows he can’t even begin to understand what Shane experienced. The fact that he can feel every ridge of Shane’s spine as his hand passes along it says enough.

When he finally starts feeling like Shane’s probably ready to let go, he loosens his arms and shifts, one foot lifting to take a step backwards.

“Just a little longer,” Shane requests and Ryan’s more than happy to comply, a noise of agreement escaping as he nods.

“I’ll stay here as long as you need,” Ryan tells him. “It’s just good to have you back.”

“It’s good to be back,” Shane replies and tightens his grip again like he might never let go.

To be honest, Ryan’s okay with that. He holds on just as tightly and settles against Shane, finally feeling happy again for the first time in months.

[pishufics]

study date(s)

"Bertholdt knows that he needs to start trying. It’s junior year, and he’d rather not stay stuck in the same class next year as a senior. If he fails the next test, he’s in some shit. So, he's going to ask you for help."

pairing - bertholdt hoover x reader

tags - high school au, fluff, humor, texting

warnings - none

author’s note -  this was just a one shot but i kept writing lol it kind of switches between you and bertholdt, but i don't directly say his thoughts, it's kind of like 2nd person omniscient if that's even a thing LOL

lmk how the texting reads, i'll change it if it's weird

reblogs and comments are appreciated ! mwah

ao3 

chapter 1 - two days

reinah: I swear if you don’t just ASK her

Do you want to be held back?

bertoto: relax okay i’ll do it :(

r: Okay, okay

Lmk how it goes

b: i never said i was asking today

Bertholdt sighs and locks his phone once he sees Reiner start to type a reply.

Bertholdt is struggling with English, which surprises him. He’s a good student in every other class, but the moment Mr. Ackermann starts talking, he finds himself dozing off, missing the lecture. Recently, though, he’s awake in class, but still not paying attention. All his focus is on you, who sat in the middle of the classroom while he sat in the back, due to his height (he didn’t really mind, though; better chance of not getting caught asleep).

One day, due to some miraculous occurrence, the short, stern teacher actually had the boy’s attention, but not for long.

“Does anyone have number three?” Mr. Ackermann asked. Bertholdt definitely didn’t. He hoped someone would raise their hand so the teacher wouldn’t resort to calling a random name.

To his relief, you did.

“I think what the author was trying to convey was…”

Bertholdt didn’t really get what you were saying, but he admired your intelligence. You knew the material and could explain it in detail, while he couldn’t even recall the book's name in question.

He started to admire more of your traits - he gazed as you would lightly, but briskly, tap your foot in frustration when you didn’t know an answer and smile at the way your face relaxed when you finally got it. Seeing your motivation in class kickstarted his.

Bertholdt knows that he needs to start trying. It’s junior year, and he’d rather not stay stuck in the same class next year as a senior. If he fails the next test, he’s in some shit.

So, he's going to ask you for help.

...Tomorrow.

-

“Girl, I don’t have any more fucking gum. I drove up to Costco, bought the value sized pack, and you somehow managed to chew all of it.” You say exasperatedly, shutting your locker.

Sasha pouts. “Are you sureeee? There’s prolly half a stick left in your front pocket…”

You swat her hand away. “There’s. Nothing. Left. I promise.” She continues to stare at your bag.

“Fuckin-” You mutter, reaching into your bag and pulling out a snack-size bag of Cheezits. They’re one of your favorite snacks, but you know you can’t win when it comes to Sasha and food. You reluctantly hand the bag to her.

“Thanks, y/n!” She smiles and tears open the bag.

“Yknow, you can be annoying as shit, Sasha.”

She winks at you and eats her stolen prize. You turn to leave and head to 3rd period. English.

Hm. You’re usually greeted by your other best friend around now-

“Yeoooo!!” Oh, there he is. Connie daps you up before wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “What’s good?”

“I don’t really wanna go to 3rd," you answer. "Sasha stole my Cheezits."

“Does anyone really wanna go to any class? And that's your fault, you know you can't bring food without Sasha's fatass taking it,” Connie replies, and Sasha punches his shoulder.

“Okay, I know...have you started studying for the test?”

He blankly stares at you. Guess not. You have the same teacher, but different periods, so you can’t keep an eye on him.

“Nevermind. I’ll see y’all later.” You throw up a peace sign and head in the opposite direction.

It’s not like you’re bad at English, but you just don’t like school in general. You go to class to get your participation grade, then go home.

There might be another reason you tolerate 3rd period, though, and it isn’t the professor. (He is pretty fine, but he's an adult, so you don’t let your thoughts escalate).

-

Mr. Ackermann didn’t like assigning things online, so most of the work in this class was on paper, contrasting your other classes where everything was digital. Kind of annoying, but you’ve learned to deal with it.

You mainly use mechanical pencils because you hate the way wooden ones write, but one day, to your slight dismay, you forgot them at home. Just your luck.

There’s a container of pencils and a sharpener in the back of the classroom, so you stand up to go retrieve one and notice a tall boy asleep in a desk not too far back from yours.

Bertholdt Hoover.

You knew him, of course. You find it a little rude to not know your classmates' names; you’ve dealt with numerous “who?”s in previous years and don’t want to put anyone through that, so you make sure to pay attention during introductions.

You chuckle at sight. The class has barely even started, and the guy is already dozing. In an awkward position, at that. One of his long legs is across the other, cramped underneath the desk. His head was laying on his right arm with his left against his hair. You thought to wake him up, but he looked so peaceful, you couldn't bring yourself to do it, plus, it's not your business. Mr Ackermann somehow didn't notice either, so Bertholdt always had a good rest in 3rd period English.

Every time you walked into class, you checked to see what weird position he would be sleeping in. You found yourself looking forward to it- he looked kinda cute when he was sleeping- but he stopped one day. You were a little disappointed, but glad to know that he was starting to pay attention in class. You still glanced at him as you walked in- he's a pretty attractive guy. No harm in just looking...

-

You shrug your backpack off and sit at your desk, stretching your legs out a bit. The walk from your locker to this classroom was kind of far. You reach into your bag, get your mechanical pencil out, and wait for Mr Ackermann to pass out the first assignment.

Just then, you hear someone walk up to your desk, and you glance over.

‘Oh, it’s Bertholdt. I don’t think we’ve ever spoken.’ You feel your face heat up, wondering what he wanted from you.

“Hey, y/n…” He nervously starts.

“Hey. Need something?”

“Yeah, actually...about the upcoming test.”

You hum in curiosity. “What about it?”

He clears his throat. “I’m lowkey failing this class, and if I mess up this test, I’ll have to retake this class next year. Do you think you could, uh…”

Bertholdt inhales in an attempt to calm himself down. It doesn’t really work.

“Could you help me study?” Phew. He managed to get it out pretty well and made a mental note to give himself a pat on the back later. But he hasn’t fully succeeded yet; you still need to agree.

You weren't opposed to the idea. You kind of figured he would be struggling in class a bit since he used to sleep all the time. It’s alright with you, and you wouldn’t mind a potential new friend. Sasha and Connie were exhausting at times.

“Yeah, sure. When?” You pause. “Actually, just text me.” You hold out your hand, asking for his phone.

Bertholdt was practically shaking in his sneakers as he reached into his pocket and handed you his unlocked phone with the contacts app open. You actually agreed! And you were giving him your number! Reiner was going to be so proud, he smiled to himself.

As you type in your info, you appreciate the cleanliness of his phone. That shows you that he’s at least hygienic.

���Aight. Here you go,” you return his device. “See you later.” You smile.

Bertholdt can’t believe this is happening.

Mr Ackermann’s voice interrupts his thoughts. “Oi, Hoover. Sit down.”

Startled, he jumps back a bit at the sudden acknowledgement. He was focused on you and tuned everything else out.

“Sorry, sir.” Bertholdt gives you a quick grin and turns to go back to his desk. Once he sits, he looks down at the new contact:

y/n :)

xxx-xxx-xxxx

Bertholdt can’t help but smile. Just seeing your name and number on his screen made him giddy, and he thought that the smiley face you added was adorable.

His thoughts are interrupted yet again, but not by the teacher. He looks down at his phone, which just buzzed.

| Messages

reinah

Did you do it yet bruh

Good timing. Bertholdt taps on the notification and goes to type a reply, but decides to send him a screenshot of your contact…with your number scribbled out. Reiner was a flirt, and he didn’t want to risk anything.

r: YOOOOOOOOOO HOLY SHIT U ACTUALLY DID IT

Bertholdt rolls his eyes and puts his phone in his backpack. He was going to pay attention- for real - today. He didn't want to seem too clueless when you tutored him.

“Can anyone tell me what rhetorical strategy is being used here?” Mr. Ackermann asked.

Bertholdt certainly could not. But that was changing soon, with your help.

--

“Okaay, we got Ms. Tutor over here now,” Sasha smiles in between bites of a burger.

“Do you even know how to, like, teach, though?” Connie gives you a skeptical look.

“It prolly isn’t too hard. All I gotta do is help him study. If he needs help understanding a concept, I’ll just explain it,” you defend yourself. “We still have two weeks. Ion mind making flashcards or something.”

“You’re getting into it, huh?” Sasha laughs.

Your face heats in embarrassment. “Girl, you know it isn’t like that.”

“And why not? You’re always bitching about how lonely you are. High school isn’t gonna last forever…” she replies.

“I have no recollection of saying anything like that.” You glare. But she isn’t exactly wrong. You’d like to experience the “high school romance” you’ve heard so much about, and Bertholdt is pretty cute. It’s not like dating is a significant concern, though.

“I’m always here as an option, y/n,” Connie winks as he takes a sip of his soda.

“Hell nah.”

Across the cafeteria, Bertholdt is trying to eat a sandwich, but Reiner won’t leave him alone. He was right about Reiner being proud, but Bertholdt almost forgot how persistent the jock could get.

“I didn’t think you had the balls, dude. I was ready to see English 3 on your schedule again next year,” He grins, arm around his taller friend's shoulders.

“...Can I eat?” Bertholdt sighs and shrugs his friend away.

“Have you texted her yet? What day are you gonna hang out with her? You gonna bring her anything? Flowers or somethin’? Girls like that kinda stuff.”

Bertholdt didn’t really think that was true.

“First off, no, not yet. I need to see when I can actually go. Second, no, I am not bringing her anything. I didn’t say it was a date. She’s going to help me study.”

“Fine, man. At least try to seem more interesting, yknow, so she can like...be interested in you.”

“Are you saying I’m boring? Ouch,” He jokingly pouts and rolls his eyes at Reiner’s double usage of ‘interesting.’

“You said it, not me.”

“Okay, I don’t wanna hear that from you...if it came from Annie, then I’d believe it.” Bertholdt looks in the blonde’s direction. She took a bite from her burger, looked up from her phone, and shrugged.

“Damn, for real?” Bertholdt sinks. He didn’t think he was that dull. He did lots of interesting stuff, like…

Like…

Bertholdt sighs in defeat.

“It’s fine. Maybe y/n likes boring,” Bertholdt huffs, taking another bite from his sandwich.

“Yeah, okay, keep telling yourself that and see where it gets you…” Reiner mumbles.

“Come again?”

“Nothing, man…”

School's been over for an hour or two. You’re aimlessly scrolling through your phone when you feel a buzz, and glance towards the top of the screen.

| Messages

xxx-xxx-xxxx

hey

it’s bertholdt 😁

where should we meet up?

Your heart starts to beat a little faster. ‘Relax, girl… don't act like he's asking you out or something,’ you tell yourself.

y/n: hey!

how abt the library?

+  what day/ time works for you?

You add his number to your contacts as you wait for his response.

bertholdt :^)

is saturday at 3 okay?

y/n: yep

do you need a ride or anything?

b: no, but thank you

see you then ☺️

y/n: alrighty :)

You smile at his use of emojis, send what he requested, then swipe down on your screen to check the day (what? It's normal to forget sometimes.) Wednesday. Two days.

You feel like it would be awkward to study with Bertholdt considering you aren’t really friends, so you decide to text him a little more so it isn't too bad when the day arrives.

----

“See? That wasn’t so hard!” Reiner exclaims. “You could’ve tried to talk to her more, but it went good!”

“I think it would’ve been weird if I did say anything else. Best to leave it at that…” Bertholdt exclaims, trying to calm himself down. He had two days.

He wonders what he should do now. Study so he could impress you? Do something to make himself seem more interesting? What would he even do...?

Bertholdt taps back onto the conversation to reread it for the 6th time. Was there anything he could’ve said different? Should he try asking you someth-

Oh, wait-? You’re typing?

“Oh shit- Dude, she’s saying something else. What do I do?” He begins to panic. Did you suddenly decide he wasn’t worth your time? Were you cancelling?

y/n: sooo

how’s your day been?

Whaaaaaatttt?? You actually...care to ask?

Bertholdt stared at his phone in surprise.

“What’d she say? Cmon! Don’t just look, dude!”

“She...asked how my day’s been-”

“-You gotta reply now! You were on the chat when she said it, so she knows you’ve read it!” Reiner urges.

Shit. He doesn't have enough time to think of a good reply.

good, but better since i’m texting you ���|

The hell? No, that’s weird. And too soon. He tries again...

pretty good, thanks!

kinda stressing over the test, haha

how’s your day going?

There we go. He twiddles his thumbs as he waits for your reply.

y/n :)

oh, dw, it’ll be fine !

my day was okay

sasha took my last bag of cheez its :(

b: ah, i'm sorry abt that :(

+ yeah, you're right

have you as my tutor :)

“Nice job man! That was...kinda flirty? You’ll get there!” Reiner ruffles his hair in encouragement, and Bertholdt shoos him away. He stares at his phone in anticipation. Was that too much?

----

i have you as my tutor :)

You lean your head on your pillow and feel your face heat up at the compliment ( was that a compliment?)

It’s not like you’re dumb, so he’s not wrong to think that. Your lips curl into a smile as you reread the message. But how do you reply? Should you compliment him back? You don’t really know.

if you’re saying i’m smart, thank you :))

hoping that wasn't sarcasm lol

You wait a minute, and he doesn’t reply, so you decide to ask another question.

is there anything specific you wanna focus on?

You cringe at the double texting, but hope that it doesn't make him think you're weird. You swipe away from the conversation and scroll on various apps as you wait.

b: ofc it wasn’t sarcasm, you're really smart, y/n!

i'm mainly struggling with rhetorical strategies and logical fallacies, but i could

use a general review too

if that's okay with you

You bury your almost overheating face into your pillow. Why is something like that getting you flustered, you wonder. You sit up, take a deep breath, and focus on the second part of his message. You're pretty good with what he needs work on, and a general review should be easy to put together.

y/n :) okay, we can focus on the first 2 on saturday

we can review the unit on other days

see you at school:)

At this point, you really don’t know how this conversation could go any further, so you ended it. Bertholdt returns your goodbye.

You exhale and sit up in your bed. Hopefully tutoring him won’t be too awkward now that you’ve spoken to him a bit, and there's still tomorrow at school to speak to him. You find yourself excited for the study date tutoring session, since you could get your homework done too.

"Two days," you smile.

[eveningclouds]

hiiiii I noticed you have been doing these cute things like spontaneous Tuesday and limiting your social media and I was just wondering why? because I’m trying to be more self reliant emotionally if that makes sense, and I’m just wondering what you’re doing with incorporating these small things into your life!

hiii !! <33 🌷🌷🌷this Will get long wnd i Am on mobile i'msorry i'll add a readmore later 😭

i don't thhink i talk abt it too much but btwn nov 2020 - may 2021 i experienced a pretty rough period of psychosis. i'd experienced this before too, but i think it was exacerbated by the combination of intense physical isolation bc of covid + prolonged increased interaction over social media bc of covid + a series of unexpected upsetting things in my personal life...i questioned reality a LOT. like for example: how can u prove ur friends exist when u only text them? like how do u know ur not texting like an ai on an app with just the name of ur friend? how do u know that ur memories are real if you're the only one who remembers them? how is that different from a dream or imagination?...i developed some pretty strange beliefs from this about 'reality.'

around this same time my sister and i started walking to the park every friday just to get out of the house. it gave us something to look forward to when the rest of our days were monotonous. we got to see other people even if they were strangers. we were exposed to sunlight and physical activity in a fun way. and at first we were really miserable? going to the swings in 40 degree slush is not super fun. but it turned out that even just having new things to complain about helped vary our routines. and eventually i was able to ease out of the feeling that i was constantly being Watched by some omnipresent Spectre that was weaving my life in order to enrich someone else's dream universe or whatever. bc once i picked up an internship and started walking to the park and got a job i just had less time to sit around and talk myself into circles?

i always thought i had a healthy relationship with social media. i kept my harry stuff on here and found a rly cool community of people to talk to when i was rly bored and lonely. and i logged into insta once or twice a week just to check my friends' dms. but u don't rly realize how much of an effect it has on u to have continuous access to an online universe that has real Tangible impacts on ur worldview yet cannot be held in ur hands until u take time away from it. like even tho i put SO much effort into maintaining boundaries, for example by not reblogging pap pics or initially i would never even say that i 'loved' him or anything, just the fact that u have access to so much information changes the way u think ! it's kind of like with alcohol, u don't realize u have a dependence until u try going a week or two without it n realizing hey wait a minute...it IS way harder to stop than i thought it'd be

when i go on a four hour scroll on the internet, in the aftermath i just feel really fuzzy and frustrated. in a few days, i won't even remember what i read. like that short term satisfaction is fun but it also is such a time suck yk...but when i take a fifteen minute walk outside, i usually end up feeling so refreshed afterwards even if i was convinced it wouldn't be worth it. and in a few days, i'll still be able to recollect some person's cool outfit i saw or some flowers or sth. it makes me feel more engaged with and in control of my life when i break out of the internet scrolling inertia.

spontaneous tuesdays give me sth to look forward to! i struggle w True spontaneity #autism so i schedule them, but they help me regulate my time better, get used to doing things alone (usually), and add an element of comfortable unpredictability into my routine. social media breaks make me more conscious about how much time i spend on social media - what i'm gaining and what i'm losing - and also basically force me to keep up with my other hobbies like reading and art. i feel centered when i read a book and i feel accomplished when i draw a picture, two feelings i hardly associate with social media. i think they're both just about mindfulness? like...noticing and engaging with my surroundings with more intention and care for myself. it's really hard at first bc obv i'd rather spend my class-free day laying in bed instewd of lost on the subway!! but at the end of the day i'm always glad i've gone through with it :)

[artificialqueens]

Girl I Met On The Internet, 4/? (Crystal x Gigi) - Strawberry

Summary: Gigi and Crystal discuss things in person. Elites Only also gains a new member.

As soon as Crystal realized what was happening, she exited the Twitter app. The girl she had been talking to for months, the girl she had shared so many things with was Georgina Goode, who happened to be best friends with the girl who hated Crystal for no reason, because of course this would happen to Crystal.  

Crystal’s mind was racing, her brain instantly jumping to the worse case scenarios. Did Gigi know she was talking to Crystal this entire time? Was this entire thing just a ploy orchestrated by Dahlia to get dirt on her? Georgina was not gay, but Gigi was. Did Gigi even like her, or was Crystal just an experiment that no one would ever find out about because it was over the internet? She knew none of these theories made sense, she didn’t think Gigi had any idea who she was until now.

Gigi was freaking out. She had messaged Crystal, attempting to explain herself, but she had gotten no reply. Crystal hadn’t even read them. Panicking, she messaged Jan, hoping she would be online.

gigi: jan oh my fuckigng

jan!: WHAT HAPPENED? ARE YALL GFS??

gigi: …no

jan!: and why is that?

gigi: she literally goes to my school she sent me a selfie and i sent one back without saying that we’re irls and she just said what the fuck and now she wont message me back

gigi: i know u don’t like how rude dahlia is so im sorry i have to mention her but she’s literally the girl dahlia picks on for no reason i didn’t even know her name was crystal

jan!: W H A T 

gigi: what do i do

jan!: girl like i know?? this doesn’t usually happen to people.

jan!: when do you usually see crystal

gigi: i see her in the halls sometimes. she told me before that she stays mostly in the art wing tho

jan!: ok. tomorrow  go to the art wing and find her. talk to her. she’s probably not responding bc im sure it’s not a good feeling to find out the girl she’s been flirting with for months is best friends with the girl bullying her

gigi: god i feel so bad about that. i only stopped it once and i feel so bad

jan!: i love you but you’re a fucking idiot, gigi. you really are. go talk to her tomorrow and do better.

-

The next morning arrived faster than Crystal wanted it to. She was dreading going to school, knowing she couldn’t avoid Gigi forever. Thankfully, they did not have any classes together, but crossing paths was inevitable. The thought of seeing Gigi, even from across a crowded hallway, made her want to sob.

Her stomach started hurting because of her anxiety, but convincing her mother to let her stay home didn’t go over well. Crystal had convinced her mother at first, but as soon as she felt Crystal’s forehead to see if Crystal was running a temperature, which she wasn’t, she had insisted that Crystal stop pretending and get ready for school. She even drove Crystal to school instead of having her walk to make sure Crystal didn’t skip.

Crystal walked straight to the bathroom in the art wing. It was smaller, with only two stalls and the cell service was terrible; but it was vacant for the most part. She often stayed there when she wanted to skip class, and the only person she had ever encountered was Aiden, a shy girl from her art class. If Gigi was looking for her, this bathroom would be the last place she would look.

She had spent the morning sketching and listening to One Direction. She was in the zone, barely noticing when the door opened. Crystal didn’t bother looking up when she felt someone’s presence there, assuming that it was Aiden. “Hey, Aiden.”

“Uh,” Gigi started, “Crystal?”

Crystal’s head shot up, her eyes wide as she looked at a very relieved looking Gigi. “Oh, shit. Hey.” 

Gigi walks over to her, kneeling down to be at the same height as Crystal. “I know you’re probably upset with me, but can we talk? Please? I’ve been looking for you all period.”

Crystal nodded, moving her backpack to make a spot for Gigi to sit down. “Sorry I said what the fuck and dipped, I really didn’t know what else to do.”

“I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m going to sound like such a bitch but I didn’t even know your name until last night.” Gigi had never been good with names, only being able to remember her online friends’ names in the beginning because their name was attached to everything they did. Crystal had been known to Gigi as ‘Art Girl’ until last night.

Crystal had to laugh at that. “It’s fine. I don’t think Dahlia knows what my name is either, and I’ve lived in her mind rent free for years!”

“Speaking of her, I’m so sorry I only stopped her once. I didn’t want to get into it but I realize now that ignoring it is just as bad as joining in. Especially seeing the effects it has on you first hand, and now that I know I could’ve helped.”

Last night, Crystal gave Gigi a run down on every single color she had ever dyed her hair, and she had mentioned that she stopped dying her hair once she got into high school because she didn’t want to stick out even more, in fear of getting treated worse. It had made Gigi sad then, and knowing she could’ve changed that made her feel even worse. 

“Yeah, I don’t know how this is going to impact your real life, but no matter what I just hope you will step in next time.” 

Gigi reached over to grab Crystal’s hand and squeezed it gently. “I will never let her hurt you ever again. I care about you so much.”

They sat in silence for a few moments.

“Can I tell you something?” Crystal asked quietly, avoiding Gigi’s glance. 

“Of course. You can tell me anything.”

“I really like you. I know it’s probably weird now, since you’re not out and I’m not positive you feel the same, but I feel like I should tell you.”

Gigi smiled, placing her fingers under Crystal’s chin, lifting them up to make Crystal make eye contact with her. “I’ve been hoping you would say that.”

Crystal blushed at the contact. “Really?”

“Of course! You’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met. I would be such a fool not to like you back.”

The bell rang, interrupting their moment. Gigi pulled away, pulling her phone out of her jacket pocket to check the time. “Fuck. I have a test this period.”

“It’s okay. We can talk about this later,” Crystal reassured her, standing up even though she had no intention to go to her next class, “I can send you my address and we could meet after school?”

Gigi nodded, pulling Crystal into a tight hug. “This is the most emotion I’ve ever shown at once. I thought it was going to be scary but I feel so much better. Thank you for talking to me. If I was you I don’t think I would’ve.”

“I could never not talk to you.”

-

Crystal decided she would stay in the bathroom until lunch. It was mostly out of laziness, as her Gigi related anxiety was long gone. Doing academics was the last thing she felt like doing now. 

She had plenty of entertainment, she had missed a lot on Twitter, and had two thousand new messages from the group chat, even though she was gone for less than a day.

crystal: im skipping class what’s up ladies

jan!: hi crystal!!!

jaida: girl where have you been?? my world has been so empty

nicky: wtf jaida stop acting like i don’t exist

crystal: ehh personal things happened so i was ia. i dyed my hair green last night tho!! look!!

jan!: omg you’re so pretty

jaida: HOT HOT HOT

nicky: crystal. marriage now

heidi: omg girl you look so good!! i love your leprosy print shirt

heidi: leprosy

heidi: girl how do you spell lepord

heidi: leopard

heidi: there we go

nicky: you did it!

jaida: so proud of you

She was relieved they didn’t question her further, but she couldn’t help but be curious about what their reactions would be if they knew what was going on. Talking to the girls again made time go by extremely fast, before Crystal knew it the bell rang, declaring it lunch time.

She hadn’t eaten breakfast due to her anxiety from this morning, and just realized how hungry she was. Collecting her stuff, she exited the bathroom and headed down to the cafeteria. 

When she was in line to pay for a slice of pizza and a bag of pretzels, she had caught the attention of Dahlia, who didn’t hesitate to express how she felt about her new hair. 

“Ew, who in their right mind would dye their hair green?” Dahlia loudly asked Gigi, making sure Crystal was in ear shot. 

Before Crystal could defend herself, Gigi spoke up. “Dahlia, can you please shut the fuck up? No one cares what you think about Crystal’s hair, it looks fine. I can hardly tolerate you being rude anymore.”

“Georgina, what the fuck? I’m not rude!” Dahlia whined, making Crystal smile. She had been slightly surprised that it happened so soon, but she was happy Gigi stepped in.

Crystal paid and made sure to wave at the girls on her way out. Gigi waved back, and Dahlia looked the other way, her arms crossed.

-

crystal: it’s not that i didn’t believe you but i’m shocked that actually happened..

gigi: she’s lowkey mad at me but idc

gigi: i believe you owe me ur address? 

crystal: oh that’s right!

gigi: i have cheer after school but i can come over right after

crystal: yay!!! 

The rest of the day was painfully long. Every minute felt like an hour, Crystal was even bored during her art class. She couldn’t wait to go home and talk to Gigi.

She zoned out while she was walking home, wondering what could happen tonight. Crystal would like to think that Gigi was about to kiss her before they got interrupted, or maybe she was going to ask Crystal to be her girlfriend. Anything could happen, and Crystal couldn’t really tell how she felt about it.

When she got home, she tidied up her room. Her bed was unmade, her dirty clothes were on the floor, and a couple dirty cups littered the top of her night stand. It wasn’t too bad, Crystal would usually consider this clean for her, but it made her feel slightly embarrassed now. She had the urge to fix it, even though Gigi probably wouldn’t have cared too much if Crystal left it the way it was.

After her room was clean, she still had some time to spare before Gigi would be on her way. She headed to the group chat, curious to see what chaos they were up to currently. 

nicky: ADD HER

nicky: ADDD HEEERRRRR

jaida: jan please come back i hate it here

crystal: who are we adding?

nicky: JACKIE

jan!: NO WE WILL NOT BE ADDING HER

nicky: why :(

jan!: i can’t trust you guys to not embarrass me in front of her and she is not a stan!!! she will not understand any of you!

jaida: we don’t have to embarrass you, you’ll do it yourself. we can teach jackie stan language, she’s smart and she’ll catch on

nicky: JAIDAHJKFDGLK

crystal: omg add her

jan!: i hate you all so much

nicky: PLS

jan!: fine.

jan! added Jackie

jan!: jackie, these are my friends. don’t believe anything they say about me.

Jackie: Oh, hello everyone!

nicky: YAAAS JACKIE NATION

nicky: c’mon auto caps!

crystal: hi!  

jaida: hi jackie!

heidi: i leave to play animal crossing for 15 minutes and we get a new member… smh

nicky: not just any new member! it’s jackie!!!!

jaida: the way nicky likes jackie more than jan does

heidi: that’s impossible. jan is SUCH a simp for jackie

Jackie: What? 

crystal: OMFG

Jackie: Does that mean she likes me? I’m confused.

nicky: yes!

Jackie: That’s good. I would assume that Jan likes me, especially after what we did in my car earlier.

crystal: holy fucking shit

jan!: OMFGHFJSKDSFHJDFJK UH

jan!: JACKIE SHUT UP!!!!!!

Jackie: Why?

jaida: god i love it here

gigi: janet you better tell me everything later!!!

jan!: GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER!!!!!!!

Crystal was so invested in the train wreck going on, only focusing on the messages sent by Jan and Jackie that she didn’t notice Gigi had come online until she got a notification that Gigi sent her a private message. 

gigi: im on ur street :)

Crystal ran to the door, opening it the second she saw Gigi step onto the porch. Gigi jumped, not expecting it. “Someone’s eager to see me, huh?”

Crystal blushed, letting Gigi in. “Shut up.”

Gigi kicked off her shoes and sat her backpack down next to them before letting Crystal lead her to her room. It was colorful, lots of posters and canvases covering the hot pink walls. “This is very you. I like it!”

“Thank you!” Crystal exclaimed, taking a seat on her bed and patting the space next to her. Gigi gladly sat next to her. 

“This is just really weird. 24 hours ago, I didn’t know who you were and now you’re in my bed. It’s kind of overwhelming,” Crystal blurted out, making Gigi frown. “But not in a bad way!” She clarified, “It’s just a lot to process.”

“Oh, yeah. It is a big change. Last night, I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend, but that obviously did not happen.” Gigi blushed, grabbing a throw pillow from Crystal’s bed to hide her face in. 

Crystal took the pillow away from her, sitting it next to them, “Do you still want me to be your girlfriend?”

Gigi nodded. “Yeah, but I don’t know if we should become official yet. We know each other so well, but I feel like we need to see if we vibe in person.”

“I don’t think we will have an issue with that, but I agree. Let’s take it slow. But can I try something first?”

Gigi grinned, “Yeah, what?”

“This.” Crystal whispered, leaning forward until her lips pressed against Gigi’s. Gigi kissed her back, wrapping her arms around Crystal’s neck and pulling Crystal even closer.

[myonechicagoworld]

CHICAGO FIRE – LEAVING THE STATION (S01E08)

Matt Casey: Why the hell are you studying Japanese? 

Mouch: I read online that once you turn 50, your brain starts to 

              atrophy unless you keep it in shape.

Leslie Shay: I think that train’s already left the station, Mouch.

Joe Cruz: Say something in Japanese. 

Mouch: I just started

Peter Mills: Hey, uh, where’s Herrmann?

Matt Casey: Tony Robbins seminar.

Otis Zvonecek: I got 20 bucks says in two weeks, you won’t be

                           able to string along a sentence.

Joe Cruz: [chuckles]

Mouch: Easiest money I ever made.

Otis Zvonecek: Done. What’s today?

Gabby Dawson: Um, 29th.

Matt Casey: Ah, damn it.

Gabby Dawson: Everything all right?

Matt Casey: Yeah. No, I just forgot something.

Chief Boden: Hey, everybody. We have the pleasure of hosting a

                        couple of visiting firefighters again. This is Gavin 

                        and Presley. They will be observing over the next 

                        couple of shifts.

                        Lieutenant Casey, Lieutenant Severide, and… the rest

                        of the knuckleheads.

Gavin: Hey guys, thanks so much for allowing us to be here. And let

            us know if there’s anything we can do to help out.

Mouch: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Was that a Canadian ‘out’ I heard?

Gavin: Yes, sir. Toronto. 

Presley: We both just finished our probationary period.

Mouch: You know what? 

               Uh, welcome aboard, guys.

               No offense, but someone else will have to give you the

               tour, ‘cause it ain’t gonna be me.

                                                 [door closes]

Matt Casey: Ignore him.

                                         [alarm blaring & beeping]

(Over PA): Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61. Injury on the blue line,

                  Logan Square Station.

                                      [sirens wailing, horn blares]

                                           [sirens stop wailing]

Chief Boden: (over radio) Be aware, men, the third rail could still be 

                        hot.

Matt Casey: You heard him, guys. Everyone keep your eyes

                       forward. Let’s do this the right way.

Chief Boden: (over radio) Main, do we have a hold on the

                        (into radio) blue line power at Logan Square?

Dispatcher: (over radio) Stand by. We’re waiting for confirmation.

Conductor: I think I hit someone.

Matt Casey: (into radio) Chief, we might have a victim on the 

                      tracks. (over radio) Conductor thinks he hit 

                      someone.

Chief Boden: (into radio) You and Mills walk back down

                        (over radio) toward the tunnel. Mind that third rail.

Matt Casey: (into radio) Copy.

Joe Cruz: All good. 

Dispatcher: (over radio) CTA confirms power has been shut down.

Chief Boden: Cruz, we got the all-clear. Throw the chain.

Peter Mills: Yo! Hey, I see somebody!

Joe Cruz: Three, two, one, go!

                                              [power sizzling]

Chief Boden: (into radio) Main, we still have power on the 

                        southbound track!

Victim 1: Please, help me.

Matt Casey: (into radio) His leg’s stuck in the axle. I need this rail 

                      turned off.

Chief Boden: (over radio) We’re working on it, Casey.

Matt Casey: My name’s Matt.

Victim 1: [exhales] Jacob.

Matt Casey: What happened, Jacob?

Victim 1 (Jacob): My sister Kayla and me went into the subway

                              through an access door, just to look around

                              but it locked behind us [panting] We were… 

                              we were trying to get out through the tunnel.

Peter Mills: I’ll go.

Victim 1 (Jacob): [panting]

Matt Casey: (into radio) Chief, there’s another kid in the tunnel. Mills

                      is going (over radio) inside.

Chief Boden: (into radio) I have two victims on the track. I need that

                        damn power off now.

Peter Mills: Kayla! 

                    Call out!

Dispatcher: (over radio) Supervisor has confirmed power has been 

                     shut down.

Chief Boden: Cruz, throw the chain again.

Joe Cruz: Three, two, one, go!

                  Power’s off!

Kelly Severide: What’s his name?

Matt Casey: Jacob.

Victim 1 (Jacob): [groans]

Kelly Severide: Jacob, my name is Kelly. We’re gonna get you out

                           of there, alright?

Gabby Dawson: Let’s get that pressure dressing ready.

Kelly Severide: There we go.

                           Alright, right there. That’s good. 

Peter Mills: Kayla! 

                    Kayla!

                                           [saw whirring]

Victim 1 (Jacob): [groans]

Kelly Severide: This is gonna hurt, buddy.

Victim 1 (Jacob): [groans]

Kelly Severide: Okay, buddy, hang on, hang on.

Victim 1 (Jacob): [groaning in pain]

Gabby Dawson: Watch his head.

                             Right here.

                             Hey, Jacob?

Victim 1 (Jacob): My… My sister…

Matt Casey: We’re looking for her now.

Leslie Shay: Alright, pressure dressing’s in place. Let’s go.

Gabby Dawson: One, two, three.

Victim 1 (Jacob): [groans]

Matt Casey: (into radio) Mills.

Gabby Dawson: You’re gonna be okay, Jacob.

Matt Casey: Mills.

                      (into radio) Yeah, we, uh… found the victim. I need two

                      body bags, more lights, latex gloves.

                      Two teams scour each side of the tracks. Call out

                       whatever body part you find.

                       Hey… You okay?

                                                  - Title Screen - 

Chief Boden: Department counsellor. 

                        Wasn’t easy what we saw today and there is no

                         shame in reaching out to talk to somebody.

Matt Casey: Hey, take a seat guys. Make yourselves at home.

Gavin & Presley: Okay.

Chief Boden: Hey.

                       Act right.

Mouch: Copy that, Chief.

               So how’s that socialised medicine working out for you 

                guys?

Joe Cruz: Mouch.

Mouch: To get your tonsils out, I heard you got to wait in a line

               around the block for the same doctor who just finished 

               a colonoscopy. 

Otis Zvonecek: You’re the only guy I know that could have a beef 

                            with Canada.

Mouch: Let’s just say I got a snoot full of how things really work up 

              there. 

              Nothing against these two but pull that curtain back a little

              bit. You might be surprised at what you find.

Matt Casey: Yeah, uh, again, you can ignore him.

Joe Cruz: [laughs] Mouch, you are out of your damn mind [laughs]

                                                  cutscene

                                       [shower water running]

                                            [buzzer sounds]

Joe Cruz: (over PA) Shay, you got a guest on the apparatus floor.

Leslie Shay: I thought you were going home.

Clarice: Well, Daniel’s not back from Phoenix until later today, so…

               you want to have some lunch?

Leslie Shay: It’s not a good time, Clarice. I got to get back to…

Clarice: Look, it’s turkey and brie with cranberry, from Martinelli’s.

Leslie Shay: I thought they closed.

Clarice: They opened up again over in Forest Glen.

Leslie Shay: [chuckles] 

Clarice: Mmm.

               Here, here, here, feel this.

Leslie Shay: Whoa. What is that?

Clarice: It’s his elbow. Wait… or no, maybe it’s his foot. That is 

              crazy, right?

Leslie Shay: Yeah.

                      Did you guys pick out names yet?

Clarice: (sighs) No, we are still in the middle of negotiations. Daniel

               really wants to name him after his father.

Leslie Shay: Oh.

Clarice: Gilbert.

Leslie Shay: Oh.

Clarice: Yeah, I know.

               I remember when we used to pick out baby names.

Leslie Shay: Yeah. 

                      Yeah.

Clarice: Look, maybe I shouldn’t have said that.

                                    [alarm sounds & buzzes]

(Over PA): Ambulance 61, difficulty breathing.

Leslie Shay: I got to go.

                      Uh… thanks… thanks for lunch. I… 

                       [clears throat]

                       What? I can’t eat a sandwich?

Clarice: Hi, Gabby.

Gabby Dawson: Hi, Clarice.

                                               [siren wailing]

Lady 1: [tearfully] She had a seizure, then couldn’t breathe.

Leslie Shay: Grace, can you hear me?

                      She’s responsive. 

Gabby Dawson: Has this ever happened before?

Lady 1: No. I mean, yes. Sh-She’s had a seizure before.

Gabby Dawson: Is she taking any anti-seizure medication?

Lady 1: No, the doctors never found anything.

              But she has Celiac disease. She’s… she’s been on a gluten

               free diet for the last two months.

Leslie Shay: Diminished lungs.

Gabby Dawson: Okay, let’s get her to Chicago U.

Lady 1: No.

Gabby Dawson: Ma’am, we got to get Grace to the hospital.

Lady 1: Not Chicago U. My father died at that hospital. Please don’t

              take her there.

Gabby Dawson: Okay, fine. Lakeshore. But we got to go now.

                             Hey. Easy, Grace. Easy.

Victim 2 (Grace): I don’t like the way it smells.

Gabby Dawson: You don’t like the way what smells, sweetheart?

Leslie Shay: Six year-old girl, respiratory distress, history of  

                      undiagnosed seizures.

ER Doctor: Exam room two. We’ll take her from here.

Lady 1: I’m right here but we… [continues indistinctly] 

             Oh my God. Please don’t… please don’t hurt her.

Gabby Dawson: Something’s up with that chick.

                                              cutscene

Kelly Severide: Works better if you turn on the heat. 

                                      [rubbish bag rustling]

                                         [metal clanging]

Peter Mills: [sighs] [breathing shakily]

                    [sobbing]

                                                cutscene

Matt Casey: Hour, hour and a half, tops.

Chief Boden: Okay, I’ll have Cruz cover truck until you’re back.

Matt Casey: Got it. And I’m sorry about this. You know this isn’t my 

                      style, but…

Chief Boden: Handle your business.

Matt Casey: Oh, uh… keep an eye on Mills for me. 

Chief Boden: Yeah, sure.

Gabby Dawson: Hey, quick favour?

Matt Casey: Sure.

Gabby Dawson: Shay and I feel a little weird about this call we just 

                            went on. 

                             We need someone to pull some medical records 

                             for us. So I  was wondering if maybe Hallie could 

                             do us a solid.

Matt Casey: Yeah, uh, the only thing is me and Hallie are taking a 

                      break, so…

Gabby Dawson: Right. Got it. 

                            Say no more.

                            And I’m sorry to hear that.

                            You’re calling Kendra.

Leslie Shay: Ugh. 

                      This is gonna cost me a dinner or two. I mean,

                       guaranteed she asks me to dinner, and I really

                       don’t want to hear about her drama… 

                       [clears throat] Hey Kendra.

                       Yep. Yeah.

                       Uh, huh. Okay.

                       Alright, thank you so much. And hey, this conversation

                       never took place.

                       Yeah. 

                        Friday? [clears throat] Um, can I get back to you?

                        Thanks.

                        Uh, so Grace was taken to the ER twice in the last six

                        weeks for seizures… no mention anywhere in her 

                         record of Celiac disease.

                                     [alarm sounding & buzzing]

(Over PA): Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61. Heart attack victim,

                   Dearborn and Elm.

                                               [sirens wailing]

Man 1: Frank’s dead!

             He must’ve had a heart attack or something. One minute,

             he was fine. 

             He was dropping branches to me. And the next thing I  

             know, he’s just hanging there. 

                               [branch creaks and starts to break]

Chief Boden: Cruz! You get that aerial up in that tree now. 

Joe Cruz: I can get close but there’s a lot of branches. I don’t see a 

                  clean path.

Kelly Severide: Well, then we make one.

                           Vargas!

Jose Vargas: On it.

Presley: Won’t you need a Stokes basket?

Chief Boden: That limb’s not gonna give us enough time. We rig a

                        two-to-one pulley system. We bring him down the 

                        fast way.

Vargas: Got it.

                                          [chainsaw buzzing]

                                              [siren wailing]

Vargas: Path is clear. 

Firefighter: Here we go.

Chief Boden: When Severide drops his line, you take up the slack.

                        When he cuts the old line, it’s on you.

Victim 3 (Frank): [groans softly]

Kelly Severide: Hey! He’s alive!

                                   [branch continues to break]

Gabby Dawson: Get him down here fast.

Kelly Severide: Agh! [groans]

Chief Boden: Hadley, move. Get his back.

Kelly Severide: [grunts]

                           Grab it! Grab that rope!

Otis Zvonecek: Got it, Kelly.

Chief Boden: Tie it off.

Kelly Severide: [grunts]

Mouch: Set.

Victim 3 (Frank): [whimpers]

Chief Boden: Load is yours.

                       Steady.

Hadley: You okay?

Kelly Severide: Yeah, fine. Just… Let’s get on the ground.

Leslie Shay: Easy, easy.

Gabby Dawson: Watch his head. 

Leslie Shay: There we go.

                      Alright, he’s breathing… shallow respirations.

Gabby Dawson: Hey, he’s carrying candy. He could be a diabetic.

Leslie Shay: Yep. 

Gabby Dawson: Let’s check his blood sugar.

                                         [machine beeping]

Leslie Shay: Okay, it’s low… below 20.

Gabby Dawson: I’ll give him an amp of D50.

                                     [indistinct radio chatter]

Victim 3 (Frank): What happened?

Leslie Shay: Okay, sir, you’re gonna be okay. Your blood sugar

                      dropped. Are you diabetic?

Victim 3 (Frank): Mmhmm.

Leslie Shay: Okay.

                                               cutscene

Lady 2: Hey Matt.

Matt Casey: Christie. 

                      Jim.

Man 2 (Jim): Matt.

Lady 2 (Christie): Sweetheart, do you remember your Uncle Matt

                              from Thanksgiving a couple years ago? 

Matt Casey: Hey Violet. 

                     You’re so grown up [chuckles lightly]

                     15 years… that’s crazy.

Lady 2 (Christie): I still miss him 

Matt Casey: [exhales deeply]

Lady 2 (Christie): Well, we’ll, uh, let you have some alone time.

Matt Casey: You don’t have to go.

Lady 2 (Christie): No, it’s okay. We were just leaving. We’ve been 

                              here awhile. 

                              I guess I’ll see you in a couple weeks.

Matt Casey: Yeah, I’ll see you there.

                                                  cutscene

Chief Boden: We’ve all been there. It usually happens first few

                        months after being on the job. Right now, you 

                        have nothing to compare it to. 

                        But you will. 

                         The longer you work, the more good you do… you’ll

                          be able to take days like this, put them into context,

                          and then move forward.

Peter Mills: It’s just that afterwards, I’m… I’m looking at Mouch

                     telling stories and Cruz playing video games. I don’t 

                     know how they do it.

Chief Boden: Everybody has their own way in how they deal with

                       things. You will get on the other side of this, Peter.

                       You know what? Take the rest of the shift off. 

                        Go easy.

                        I’m serious, though. Talk to someone. Counsellor’s 

                        available. 

                        So am I. So is your Lieutenant. Okay?

Peter Mills: Okay. 

                                                  cutscene

Otis Zvonecek: [chuckling] Oh yeah, it stays with me. For sure.

                           Thank you, dude. 

                            My buddy, Eddie, over at 61, ‘sworn to secrecy.’

                            Uh the Canadians? Guess where they’re from?

Mouch: Canada.

Otis Zvonecek: Cleveland. 

Mouch: What?

Otis Zvonecek: Herrmann put ‘em up to it. 

Mouch: Oh that sneaky son of a bitch. He’s the only one I confided

              to about me and Canada and this is what he does to me?

Otis Zvonecek: I don’t know what Herrmann’s end game is in this

                           prank but if you’re asking me, I say we beat him 

                           to it.

Mouch: Yeah. 

Otis Zvonecek: Yeah?

Mouch: Yeah.

Otis Zvonecek: Yes. All right.

Joe Cruz: Hey Shay, you got a visitor again.

Gabby Dawson: Ugh, Clarice again?

Daniel Schwartz: Her husband [clears throat]

Leslie Shay: Nice to see you.

Daniel Schwartz: I’m looking for my wife and my unborn son.

                              Would you be kind enough to point me in the 

                              right direction?

Leslie Shay: Yeah. She’s been staying with me a couple days.

Daniel Schwartz: So, in the light of the fact that you have zero

                              boundaries, I will tell you now very directly

                              that if you think I’m gonna stand… 

Leslie Shay: Daniel, you might want to bring it down a peg, because

                      this is your problem.

Daniel Schwartz: Right, you… you have nothing to do with it.

Leslie Shay: She came to me as a friend needing a place to stay.

                      So I, as a friend, took her in. I sympathise with what

                      you’re going through and I wish I hadn’t been brought

                      into this, but if you keep coming at me like you’re

                      coming at me, I’m gonna tell you to kiss my ass in 

                      two seconds.

Daniel Schwartz: [sighs] What can I do? This is my family we’re 

                              talking about. 

                                                     cutscene

Peter Mills: I can’t get it out of my head. Just… I can’t get it out of 

                    my head.

Ingrid Mills: There was a time when your father couldn’t either.

                     And his way of fixing it was to just shove it down.

                     And then that turned into shutting off a part of 

                     himself. It’s the part that makes us human.

Peter Mills: Then what do I do?

Ingrid Mills: Walk away. You come back to the restaurant. I don’t

                     want you to become a block of ice. And having seen

                     that in your father, believe me, you don’t want that for 

                      yourself. 

                      It’s not who you are. Hmm? Just… come home.

Peter Mills: [sighs]

                                                     cutscene

Kelly Severide: Anna. Hey, it’s me. Look um, I need a refill…

                          uh somewhat urgently.

                          I know, I know, I know (stammering) I-I just… I…

                          can you please just help me out?

                          I can’t. I… I don’t have the time. 

                          I could… I could pay you for them, if that’s easier.

                          Anna? Hello?

                          [sighs]

                                                  cutscene

Leslie Shay: Oh, she’s pissed.

                      Hey, Kendra. Thanks for doing this.

Dr. Kendra: I thought I was done.

Leslie Shay: Ah, well, you know…

Gabby Dawson: Anything on Grace Wilkinson?

                                           [keys clacking]

Dr. Kendra: Yeah, she accidentally swallowed some turpentine. 

Leslie Shay: Her mom told us she had Celiac disease.

Dr. Kendra: Uh, mom told us she was doing some painting and left

                     the turpentine out by mistake. We pumped the girl’s

                     stomach, then moved her upstairs for observation.

Leslie Shay: She didn’t want to take her to Chicago U, remember?

                      Could be hospital jumping to hide abuse.

Gabby Dawson: Abuse that she’s causing for attention.

                            It fits. That would explain the mom’s behaviour,

                            the inconsistent symptoms that Grace is having,

                            that smell that she was talking about…

Dr. Kendra: Munchausen by proxy? It’s quite rare.

Gabby Dawson: I don’t really care what you call it. That woman is

                            poisoning her own kid. I want this reported to

                            DCFS. Right now. Will you back us up?

Leslie Shay: Dinner, Friday… on me.

Dr. Kendra: I’ll get the number. 

Gabby Dawson: Four years ago [exhales], my old partner and I

                             reported this girl with cigarette burns all over

                             her arms and legs to DCFS, and the investigation

                             was a mess of red tape from beginning to end.

                              They eventually sent the girl back to her father

                              and that same week, she died of a brain bleed 

                              from a beating he gave her. That ain’t happening 

                              again.

                                                        cutscene

Kelly Severide: Hey, Mrs Mills.

Ingrid Mills: Hello Kelly. Chief Boden’s office is this way? 

Kelly Severide: Yeah. 

                           How’s Peter doing?

Ingrid Mills: He saw a girl cut to pieces today. I believe you all did.

                      How are you doing?

                                                 [door opens]

Chief Boden: Ingrid, uh… it’s been a long time.

Ingrid Mills: Yes it has.

Chief Boden: Uh, please, have a seat.

Ingrid Mills: No, I won’t be long.

                     Peter’s not like Henry.

Chief Boden: No one expects him to be.

Ingrid Mills: He does. And Peter’s got this whole idea of living up to

                     his father’s memory. 

                     But that is not the life I want for him. 

                     Peter’s not coming back to 51.

Chief Boden: If that’s what he decides… I’ll abide by it. You have 

                        my word.

Ingrid Mills: You’re not hearing me. Peter’s time as a candidate…

                      is done. I’m asking you to respect my wishes. Now, 

                      you owe me that at least.

                                                 cutscene

Joe Cruz: I can tell you this soup already smells like socks, Otis.

Otis Zvonecek: Oh, just wait till it hits your taste buds, man.

Gavin: Listen, if we’ve done anything to offend you…

Mouch: Oh, no, no, no. Eat up. Enjoy your free American meal.

Presley: Is Peter coming back? 

Matt Casey: Of course. He’s just clearing his head. Today was a 

                      tough one.

Otis Zvonecek: Here we go. Dinner’s served.

Matt Casey: What the hell is this?

Otis Zvonecek: Borscht, baby. 

Mouch: [sniffs]

            �� [grimaces]

Otis Zvonecek: Mama’s Sunday night go-to.

Matt Casey: [slurps]

Otis Zvonecek: Huh? 

Matt Casey: [grimaces]

Otis Zvonecek: Eh? It’s good right? 

Matt Casey: We’re ordering in.

                                                  cutscene

Kelly Severide: [groans]

                                       [footsteps approaching]

Chief Boden: Hey. Nice job up there in that tree.

Kelly Severide: Thanks, Chief.

Chief Boden: What up with your arm?

Kelly Severide: What’s that?

Chief Boden: I said, “what up with your arm?”

Kelly Severide: Tweaked it a couple days ago lifting weights.

Chief Boden: Looked like more than a tweak.

Kelly Severide: Really, I’m fine.

Chief Boden: Okay. I see it again, you’re going in for an x-ray,

                        for your own safety.

Kelly Severide: No. Yeah, absolutely.

                                                   cutscene

                                    [door opens to bunk room]

Gabby Dawson: DCFS looked into the Wilkinson girl’s case…

                            not gonna pursue.

                            Let’s take a ride.

                                           [ambo door opens]

                                           [door alarm beeps]

                                           [ambo door shuts]

Leslie Shay: Listen, all I’m saying is, I told you after your suspension

                      hearing that I’d pull up on the reins if you started to go

                      sideways. This is me pulling.

Gabby Dawson: We’re just having a friendly conversation.

                             Uh, Mrs Wilkinson, sorry to bother you like this. 

                             Uh…

Lady 1 (Mrs Wilkinson): You’ve got some nerve… fabricating lies 

                                          against me?

Gabby Dawson: Lies? You want to talk about lies? What was that

                            today… a seizure related to Celiac disease or

                            accidental ingestion of turpentine?

Lady 1 (Mrs Wilkinson): This is harassment, and I’m calling my

                                         lawyer.

Gabby Dawson: You should call your doctor, because you need

                             help. You are poisoning your own daughter. 

                             We’re not gonna stand by…

Lady 1 (Mrs Wilkinson): You have no idea how miserable your life is

                                          about to get.

                                      [door shuts and locks]

                                              cutscene

Chief Boden: I’ve been on the phone for the last hour, getting my

                       ass handed to me, and there wasn’t a damn thing I

                       could say in your defence, because what you did 

                       was dead wrong.

Gabby Dawson: Chief, she’s poisoning her daughter.

Chief Boden: Did you talk to the DCFS?

Gabby Dawson: Yeah, but…

Chief Boden: But nothing!

                        You let them handle it. What you don’t do is go

                         knocking on doors, start throwing out accusations.

                         Do you not get it, Gabriela?

Leslie Shay: It’s not just her, Chief.

Chief Boden: I will get to you in a second. 

                       Answer my question.

Gabby Dawson: Yeah, Chief, I get it.

Chief Boden: Do you not like your partner? 

Leslie Shay: I like her very much indeed, Sir.

Chief Boden: Well, she’s a hothead. What you do when you have a

                        hothead for a partner is you talk them out of doing

                        stupid-ass things that can get them into serious 

                        trouble.

                        Gabriela, this, um… crusade that you are on, it ends

                         now. You take one step further, there will not be a

                         suspension hearing. There will be a good-bye party.

                         You two, my office. We need to talk about Mills

                                                    cutscene

                                               [bells chiming]

Kelly Severide: [exhales]

Elise Mills: Hey Kelly.

Kelly Severide: Hey.

                           Is your brother here?

Elise Mills: Last we talked to him, he said he was gonna go for a

                    drive but I haven’t heard from him for a while.

Kelly Severide: Yeah, he hasn’t been picking up his phone. 

Elise Mills: I’ve never seen him like this.

Kelly Severide: Okay, well, if you talk to him, could you tell him that

                           I stopped by? I just wanted to check on him.

Elise Mills: I will. Thank you.

                                                   cutscene

Leslie Shay: You have to go home.

Clarice: To what?

Leslie Shay: To a husband who’s at least owed an explanation.

Clarice: Okay, but I just… I didn’t even realise how unhappy I was

               until you showed up at the baby shower.

Leslie Shay: You don’t get to come back married and pregnant

                       saying that you miss me. 

                       You walked away. You broke my heart. And hey, that’s

                        the way it goes, but this isn’t good for me right now,

                         Clarice. I’ve been fooling myself these last few days. 

Clarice: I made a mistake.

                                                [knocks on door]

Leslie Shay: [sighs]

Clarice: Okay, if that’s Daniel, I’m just… I’m not here. I will leave.

               I will go home. I will. But just not right now, please.

Corrine: Hey.

Leslie Shay: Hey Corrine.

Corrine: I texted you a couple times.

Leslie Shay: I know. I’m… and I’m sorry. I’ve just been dealing with 

                      something.

Corrine: Is everything okay?

Leslie Shay: Fine. Yeah, it’s fine.

Corrine: It’s just… I think I left my earrings here.

Leslie Shay: Oh, I’ll find them and I’ll get them back to you.

                      I’m sorry. Just… now is really not a good time.

Clarice: What was that?

Leslie Shay: Nothing.

Clarice: Okay, um… I’m gonna go.

Leslie Shay: Okay.

Clarice: Look, I didn’t mean to bring up any bad memories.

Leslie Shay: I don’t have any. 

                     I just can’t go back.

Clarice: This should’ve been ours.

                                      [door opens & closes]

                                              cutscene

Peter Mills: [sighs]

Ingrid Mills: See, this is where you belong, baby.

Peter Mills: Just give me a little room, mom.

                                                cutscene

Mouch: Alright everybody, gather round.

              We’re gonna trade t-shirts and patches in a bit but first, a

               little competition.

               The first one of you to climb up to the top gets a CFD

                jacket. Sound good?

Gavin: That jacket’s mine.

Presley: Yeah, we’ll see. 

Mouch: All right. And… one… two… three!

                                           [water splashing]

Mouch: [laughs] Take that back to Cleveland, boys! [laughs]

Chief Boden: What the hell are you doing, Mouch?

Mouch: They’re not from Canada. Herrmann put them up to it.

Gavin: We’re from Canada!

Mouch: [laughs] No, no, no. Otis said… Otis… Oti…

                                       [alarm sounds & beeps]

(Over PA): Ambulance 61, respiratory distress. 26 Orchard Street.

Leslie Shay: That’s Grace’s address.

Chief Boden: Hit it.

                                             [siren wailing]

Housekeeper: I didn’t know what to do!

Gabby Dawson: Grace. You okay?

Housekeeper: In here! In here.

Gabby Dawson: [exhales sharply] 

Leslie Shay: Doxepin, 150 milligrams.

Gabby Dawson: Oh man.

                                            [zipper opens]

Gabby Dawson: Uh, why don’t you take Grace back into the living 

                             room?

Housekeeper: Come on. Come with me.

Leslie Shay: Shallow breaths, rapid pulse.

Gabby Dawson: Alright, let’s get her to Lakeshore.

                            I’ll start an IV in the rig, you get an order to push 

                            bicarb.

                            [exhales] She’s gonna be okay, Grace.

                                                 cutscene

                                          [knocks on door]

Otis Zvonecek: You wanted to see me, Chief?   

Chief Boden: That time you put all that hot sauce in Hadley’s

                        burger, that was funny.

Otis Zvonecek: Oh, I can’t take credit for that, Chief. I got that from

                           Dumb and Dumber.

Chief Boden: And the other time you put the blow-up doll in

                       Herrmann’s bunk, that was equally funny.

Otis Zvonecek: That was all me.

Chief Boden: Today, that was not funny. I mean, breaking balls is

                        one thing. But those men… they did not pay their

                         own way and drive ten hours...

                                                  [door closes]

Chief Boden: ...to come here to be the butt of a joke. When we

                       have a guest in this house, you will treat them as 

                        such. Do you understand me?

Otis Zvonecek: Yes, Chief.

Chief Boden: So now you’re gonna walk back out there like the man

                        I know you to be.

                        You’re gonna look ‘em in the eye, shake their hand,

                         and apologise, because when they go back home

                         and their men ask them what the CFD were like,

                          they will be able to say we are stand-up.

                                                     [door opens]

Connie: Chief. You need to get to Lakeshore.

Chief Boden: That’ll be all.

                                                      cutscene

Mouch: And she couldn’t get into the United Stated, so I agreed to

              meet her in Toronto. An immigration attorney there was

               going to facilitate her American citizenship. I gave her the

               five grand for his fees… never saw either one of them 

               again.

Joe Cruz: Well, yeah, but if she was Russian, why hate on Canada?

Mouch: Two extra weeks I’m up there getting the run-around from

               various government agencies. I end up at the Canadian 

               anti-fraud centre. 

               Want to know what they said? 

                Buyer beware. And didn’t the weasel behind the counter

                get a little chuckle at my expense?

Gavin: Mouch, on behalf of the commonwealth of Canada, we 

            apologise.

Mouch: I appreciate that.

                                                 [door opening]

Presley: Lieutenant?

               I-I don’t want to get in anyone’s business here, but if I 

               may...

Matt Casey: Please.

Presley: Only because I was recently in Peter’s situation. Uh, I

               received a call that involved… an infant mortality. And

               uh, it-it really got to me. Uh, but our Lieutenant at the

                time… he did something that really helped us out.

                                                      cutscene

Chief Boden: She’s on a ventilator now, and dialysis to help clear 

                        the doxepin.

                        We just have to wait and see.

Man 3: Are you Gabriela Dawson?

            You’re the one who accused Nina of poisoning our 

             daughter?

Chief Boden: Sir, your wife…

Man 3: You did this! You did this to her!

Chief Boden: Gabriela… I notified the Union, just in case the cops

                        want to talk to you. You need to be ready.

                                                     cutscene

Matt Casey: Mills, it’s Casey. Listen I know lots of people have been

                      talking to you today, uh, but before you make a

                      decision, I want to show you something. I can swing

                      by the restaurant after shift. And, um, please, just trust

                      me on this. 

                                            [cell phone beeps]

                                                  cutscene

Leslie Shay: Don’t worry, we’ll get through this.

                                                [door opens]

Man 3: It’s all right, sweetheart. Tell her what you told me. 

Girl 1 (Grace): She made me drink it.

Gabby Dawson: [sighs] It’s okay. 

                            It’s okay, sweetie.

                                                cutscene

Mouch: You really outdid yourself this time, Otis.

Otis Zvonecek: I feel horrible.

Mouch: Well, you should.

Otis Zvonecek: And what’s worse, they were so classy about it.

                           [sighs] So you were in love with that woman?

Mouch: Nah.

              Lesson learned though.

              Lesson learned.

                                               [liquid splashing]

Otis Zvonecek: Oh those dicks.

                                                   cutscene

                                             [knocks on door]

Corrine: Is Shay here?

Kelly Severide: She’s not.

Corrine: I just want my earrings.

Kelly Severide: Um… come on in.

                                               [door closes]

Kelly Severide: You want a beer?

Corrine: Sure. 

               You know, I don’t know why she’s been so opposed to

                calling me back.

Kelly Severide: She’s been going through some ex-girlfriend drama.

Corrine: See, all she had to do was tell me. I’m not looking to bring

               any drama to her life. I’m just looking to have some fun. 

Kelly Severide: No, I hear you. Keep it short and sweet. That’s my 

                           policy.

Corrine: Exactly.

Kelly Severide: Hmm.

                                           [cell phone vibrates]

Kelly Severide: Hey, it’s me. 

Leslie Shay: Hey.

Kelly Severide: Um, real quick, Corrine… Um do you have any

                           claim to her?

Leslie Shay: Kelly, why?

Kelly Severide: Because if you do, then I’ll walk her to the door.

Leslie Shay: [scoffs] Knock yourself out.

Kelly Severide: You all right?

Leslie Shay: Have fun.

                                             [kissing sounds]

                                             [buttons ripping]

                                                  cutscene

                                            [car door shuts]

                                          [knocking on door]

                                              [door opens]

Man 4: Lieutenant Casey.

Matt Casey: Gary. Thanks for letting us stop by.

Man 4 (Gary): Yeah.

Matt Casey: This is Peter Mills.

Man 4 (Gary): Hey, how you doing?

Peter Mills: Hey, nice to meet you. 

Man 4 (Gary): Come on in. 

                        Make yourselves comfortable.

Matt Casey: Thank you.

Man 4 (Gary): Sophie, Lieutenant Casey is here!

Matt Casey: Their last house burned down a couple years back.

                      We responded to the call.

                      How’s she doing?

Man 4 (Gary): She gets her learner’s permit next week. Can you 

                        believe it?

Matt Casey: Sophie’s driving?

Man 4 (Gary): Well, not till next week, she’s not.

Matt Casey: [chuckles]

Girl 2 (Sophie): Lieutenant Casey!

Matt Casey: There she is.

                      Peter, this is Sophie.

Peter Mills: Hey.

Girl 2 (Sophie): Come on, I want to show you something.

Matt Casey: What have you got? 

                      What is this?

                      ‘Second place, girls sectional finals.’ Congratulations.

Girl 2 (Sophie): Thanks.

Peter Mills: Sorry.

Girl 2 (Sophie): Don’t be. I don’t mind. Lieutenant Casey pulled me

                          out of that fire.

                          [chuckles] I’m alive.

                                                      - end -

Definitions:

Tony Robbins = American author, coach, motivational speaker, and philanthropist

CTA = Chicago Transit Authority

Axle = A rod or spindle (either fixed or rotating) passing through the centre of a wheel or group of wheels.

Colonoscopy = An exam used to detect changes or abnormalities in the large intestine (colon) and rectum, During a colonoscopy, a long flexible tube (colonoscope) is inserted into the rectum. A tiny video camera at the tip of the tube allows the doctor to view the inside of the entire colon.

Celiac disease = A chronic digestive disorder resulting from an immune reaction to gliadin, a gluten found in wheat, barley, rye and sometimes oats. It involves inflammation and destruction of the inner lining of the small intestine and can lead to the malabsorption of minerals and nutrients.

Diminished lungs = Normal lung sounds are decreased and harder to hear.

Respiratory distress = Respiratory failure characterised by rapid onset of widespread inflammation in the lungs. It occurs when fluid builds up in the tin, elastic air sacs in your lungs. The fluid keeps your lungs from filling with enough air, which means less oxygen reaches your bloodstream. This deprives your organs of the oxygen it needs to function. Symptoms include shortness of breath, rapid breathing, and bluish skin colouration.

Stokes basket = A device used to both immobilise as well as transport a victim over terrain.

Two-to-one pulley system = System consisting of two pulleys (wheel on an axle or shaft that is designed to support movement and change of direction of a taut cable or belt or transfer of power between shaft and cable or belt) with a rope running around them to lift a load. Using two or more pulleys reduces the amount of effort needed.

Amp = Ampule is a small sealed glass capsule/vial containing liquid, especially a measured quantity ready for injecting.

D50 = Used in emergency care to treat hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) and to manage coma of unknown origin. An amp of D50 is 25 grams of glucose in a 50ml prefilled syringe (50% glucose). An amp of D50 provides 5 times the amount of glucose in a normal adult’s blood.

Turpentine = Fluid obtained by the distillation of resin harvested from living trees, mainly pines. It is mainly used as a solvent, and as a source of material for organic syntheses.

Munchausen by proxy = Mental health problem in which a caregiver makes up or causes an illness or injury in a person under his or her care, such as a child, an elderly adult, or a person who has a disability (See the Gypsy Rose Blanchard and her mother Dee Dee’s case for a famous example of Munchausen by proxy)

DCFS = Department of Children and Family Services

Doxepin = Medication used to treat major depressive disorder, anxiety disorders, chronic hives, and trouble sleeping.

Bicarb = Sodium bicarbonate is an antacid used to relive heartburn and acid indigestion.

Stand-up = Loyal; that you can rely on to defend you

Dialysis = Procedure to remove waste products and excess fluid from the blood when the kidneys stop working properly. It often involves diverting blood to a machine to be cleaned.

Girls sectional finals = Basketball tournament

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #391

“if you wanna soar with vultures, you’ll have to swallow crow”

Have you ever been to Australia? No. I want to visit a friend there, but honestly, Australia scares me too much lmao. That place is like, the Hard mode in life. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My sister's husband just had his. Are you wearing a necklace? If so, describe it. No. Do you know anyone who is left-handed? My best fren. Ever wear out a CD? What was it? Haha, yeah... I caused a few scratches on Ozzy's Black Rain, as well as one more of his, where the album name is surprisingly evading me. What’s your favorite card game? Magic: The Gathering. What’s your favorite fast food meal? Burgers or chicken tenders are usually my go-to, depending on the place. Where is the best restaurant you’ve ever eaten in at? The Cheesecake Factory. @_@ Lamb chops or pork chops? I've actually never tried lamb chops before, but I've always thought they look yummy. If you HAD to pick ONE song to listen to for the rest of your life, and that would be the only song you ever heard, what would it be? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy Osbourne, probably. It's very motivating. Ever heard of Shinedown? Yeah, I like 'em. They're one of Dad's faves. What size is your bed? Queen. What is the first meal you remember eating? Hell if I know. What was the first movie you ever saw? I also don't remember. What percentile of your class were you in? The top. Can you name every place you’ve ever had sex? I probably could, but I'm not going to. What forms of birth control have you used? The pill and also just not having a sex life lmao. Do you use sponges or dishcloths when doing the dishes? A sponge. What’s your favorite song on the top twenty right now? I have zero clue what's in the top twenty. Ever punched a wall? No. What was the last bug you killed and what did you use? An ant in the house. My fingers. Ever get pulled over by the cops and get away without a ticket? I've never been pulled over. What was your first legal alcoholic drink? A margarita, I think? What’s the most expensive things your parents ever bought you? Probably this laptop. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought? My snake. Or my most recent tattoo, idr. What is your favorite cover song? I think Disturbed's "Sound of Silence" is unbeatable as a cover. Well, or Johnny Cash's "Hurt." Both SLAUGHTER the originals. Did you ever drop out of school? College, three times. Ever raise a child that wasn’t your own for more than 3 months? No. Strangest medical procedure ever performed on you? Considering the location, having a pilonidal cyst drained by pushing on it. Jesus FUCKING Christ it hurt so goddamn bad. Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? I don’t have a job. Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? Windows. Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Yes. How many times a year do you go on vacation? Zero, generally. What is your favorite time period in history to learn about? The Holocaust. What’s the saddest report you have ever seen on the news? *shrug* I don't watch the news. In your honest opinion, what is the scariest sea creature you know? Putting aside my illogical fear of whale sharks, probably giant squid. Like no thank u. What superpower do you think would be the most handy in times of trouble? Teleportation. Do you believe there is just one love for everyone, or…? No. There are WAY too many people in the world for that. Plus, you're talking to a person who has been in love with two different individuals, and both were perfectly valid feelings. Why are you best friends with your best friend? She's just simply amazing. Strong, funny, intelligent, caring, supportive, loyal... She's, again, amazing. Do you world peace is truly a possibility in the future? Realistically, no. But it's nice to imagine. Pretend you are a really good cook, what meal would you make? *shrug* It would depend on what I wanted to eat. What do you think of when you look at the stars? Just the vastness of everything, and I wonder what it's like up there in outer space. If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Dead? Their shells are part of their actual skeletal structure. What’s one thing you feel you must do in your life before it ends? Just... feel like I did something. What Disney princess are you most like? Personality-wise, I mean. Maybe Belle? To be totally honest, I don't really remember the details of most of their personalities. What do you think is the most important thing in this life is? Love. Do you use any acne medication? Not anymore. Have you ever tried to learn another language? How did it go? I took Latin for one semester, and it was hard as FUCK. I quickly changed to German next semester and did that for all four available classes. Do you still have a landline phone in your home? No. Throughout a typical week, which places are you likely to go? I go to the TMS therapy office every weekday, and I might ride with my mom to pick up groceries or something. How often do you use your webcam, if you even have one that is? Never anymore because my mic doesn't work on this laptop, so there's no reason to. Do you have a lock number or pattern for your phone? Neither, actually. What was the last thing you bought from a liquor store? Mom bought a nice bottle of some pink lemonade Smirnoff the other day for us to try, but she left it at my sister's. ;-; It looked soooo good. Is there any cereal in your house? What kind? Yeah. Mom got some Honey Nut Cheerios and Reese's Puffs. What's the most number of people you've ever lived with? Excluding myself, I wanna say five. Do you celebrate St. Patrick's Day? No. Do you have any pets? How long have you had them? I've had Venus forrrr... I want to say four years, and Roman for two, I think. What's your favourite kind of cheese? American. Have you danced in the rain? No. Who is your favorite person to text? Sara. What’s your favorite brand of jeans? I haven't worn jeans in many years. Do you enjoy Mario games? Not especially. Mario Kart is fun, though. What’s your favorite online game? World of Warcraft. Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class? Yes. That shit hurts. Who was last to cook for you? My mom. Would you ever wish to explore a cave? YES!!!!! You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? Freeze, physically and mentally. Have you ever ridden in a car with someone who was high? Yes, because I was afraid to say no. Did you ever date the last person you kissed? Yes. Have you ever held a snake? Plenty of times. How often do you have friends over to your house? Never. Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally? No. Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected? My mom, because she always feels unwanted at Ashley's house. It wasn't unexpected, honestly. She cries a lot in the car when she leaves my sister's house, honestly. It's heartbreaking. Do you have any exercises you do everyday? No. :/ Are you more of a dog or cat person? I'm a cat person. That only becomes more apparent with time, really. Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? I probably have, given I've had nightmares of strangling someone, punching and slapping people... all kinds of stuff. My nightmares are so fucking violent and I hate it. Would you ever have a bird as a pet? No. Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No. Do you know someone who���s been cremated? My dog, as well as my younger sister's old pup. And Mom's. What is your favorite animated movie? The Lion King. Did your grandparents teach you anything? To not be horrendously old-fashioned and to never have kids, yes. Congrats, Grandma, I took both things to heart. Do you want/have a Bachelor's degree? No. Are you into superheroes? Who's your favourite? Not massively, no. I like Deadpool (yeah, yeah, antihero, whatever) and Spider-Man. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? Yes to both. Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? I don't think so. Did you ever play Neopets when you were younger? Yes, I LOVED them. Sometimes I'm still tempted to make a new account, I shit you not, lol. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have your parents ever worked in medicine? My mom was a pharmacy technician or some title like that for a long time. Is there anything unusual about your house? I don't think so? How many serious relationships have you been in? Two. Do you listen to Rise Against? I only know "Re-education (Through Labor)," but I LOVE that song. When was the last time you congratulated someone? It was probably something on Facebook, but idr. Have you ever taken care of a newborn baby? Go no, I could never. How old were you when you got your ears pierced? I don't remember my age, but old enough where I did it of my own volition. Do you snore when you sleep? No. Surprising for someone with sleep apnea as horrendous as mine. What was the last type of burger you ate? I had a McDouble from McDonald's a few nights ago.

[pandawritespoorly]

With Time: Chapter 37 - Alya

Author’s Note: Happy St. Patrick's Day! 🍀 Today's the day that every American tells anyone who'll listen about how they're actually kind of, sort of, partially Irish, if you, like, go back far enough to their great grandmother's cousin's half-sister who married some guy who...

Alright, that's enough of teasing my country. This chapter being posted on a holiday is purely coincidental, so there's not really any mention of it in here, also it wouldn't have been relevant.

I don't know about you guys, but the state I live in is taking the self-quarantine thing pretty seriously. I hope my chapters can help you from going too stir-crazy. I have been writing and baking like crazy (and playing Plague Inc, because, come on, I can't not). Several colleges in Michigan are moving online.

Stay safe you guys! Be sure to disinfect whichever device you're reading this on if you haven't recently.

That's enough about the coronavirus. You're all here for Alya, and I'm prepared to deliver. Enjoy! 

Chapter Summary: Alya and Marinette have a very important (and long overdue) talk.

First | Previous | Next

Chloe: I heard that fake reporter was coming over to ‘apologize’ today, so here’s some stuff to really drive your point home.

 Marinette: wait where did you get those pictures

Marinette: have you had them this whole time???

 Chloe: I have my ways. Don’t question me Dupain-Cheng.

---

Adrien <3: Alya wants to know if it’s a good time for her to come over.

 Marinette: yeah

 Adrien <3: I can tell the others, we can come over.

Adrien <3: Make sure she doesn’t try anything.

 Marinette: kitty.

Marinette: she won’t try anything

Marinette: she just wants to talk i can handle myself

 Adrien <3: Of course, I know you can.

 Marinette: adrien

 Adrien <3: Anyway, she’s headed over. I’ll let the others know so we can wait in the park and glare at her. It’s the least we can do.

 Marinette: or you could go about your day as usual and not bother with needless interruptions

 Adrien <3: We were already going to hang out, now we’re just coming by earlier. You can’t run from our love and support.

 Marinette: You don’t need to do that.

 Adrien <3: I’ll make plans that have nothing to do with that then.

---

Hug This Boy: So who wants to go to the park outside of the bakery for reasons completely unrelated to the fact that Alya is coming over to talk to Marinette. It’s just a coincidence if we go to check on Marinette afterward and maybe hurt Alya if need be.

Hug This Boy: Completely unrelated. 

 Patisserie Princess: Adrien.

 Hug This Boy: It’s so fun watching the grass grow.

 Kid Mime: o absolutly

Kid Mime: its so green

 The Mom Friend: yep

 Melodie: So fascinating.

 Felix: Most definitely.

 Patisserie Princess: …

Patisserie Princess: this isn’t necessary

 Melodie: Well how else are we going to look at the grass that happens to be right outside your house?

 Kid Mime: yea mari

 Patisserie Princess: oh she’s here ive got to go

Patisserie Princess: all of you are to go about your day as usual

 Hug This Boy: Wow, the next event on my schedule is ‘watching grass grow at the park that happens to be outside of Mari’s place’.

 The Mom Friend: wat a coincdence same here

---

“Alya,” Marinette states, opening the door, “Let’s go to my room.”

She nods numbly, and the pair make their way upstairs, ignoring the glares from Tom and Sabine.

They both sit on the floor of her room, and they sit in silence for what feels like an eternity.

Alya breaks first.

“Mari- Marinette. I’m sorry. I was supposed to be a reporter and I didn’t even bother to fact check! I just believed her because I was so- so- so infatuated with her stories! She sounded so cool! She’d been everywhere and met everyone, and then… she hadn’t. It was all a lie. You were right. When the slides changed during the competition it felt like everything stopped. I couldn’t even process that everything she’d told us seemed to be a lie. Everyone apologized to you yesterday, and I should have the moment I knew the truth, but I wanted to process it first because… well I mean now I’m trying to avoid acting before thinking- Not that I’m suggesting that you made anything up, or something like that! I’m not! I just wanted to make sure I had all my thoughts in order. I’m so sorry,” Alya says hurriedly.

“You’re not wrong,” Marinette agrees, “You completely threw me out for someone you didn’t even know. The whole class hurt me, but Alya… you hurt me the most. More than Lila - sure, she tore me down enough that I was definitely in a bad place… but you?” she sighs, “Do you even- Alya, do you remember the first week of school? Do you remember Thursday? Can you just… go through it with me? How did we go from making plans to… that?”

Alya is tearing up, but nods. “I didn’t know anything was happening until I got there. Lila was sobbing hysterically, and she looked awful. A few of the class were already with her, and she said she had something to tell us, but wanted to wait for everyone. She said she’d already talked to Adrien. When everyone got there she said that she was being bullied. Regular insults, cyberbullying, attempts at isolating her, so much and it was all so awful. Afterwards, we were all obviously furious and spent at least five minutes convincing her to give us a name. All she managed was to say your name and then she started sobbing and wouldn’t speak anymore. Then class started, and you came in like everything was normal and just made me more mad, I absolutely hated you,” her voice cracks, “So when class was over we all confronted you. We thought you were lying, we thought you threw yourself down the stairs for pity points. We figured if Chloe was coming to your defense, then you must be a bully, and when you left and didn’t return we just took that as you running away. Going to start over in a new place.”

Alya is openly crying now, staying as quiet as she can.

“That’s not how I saw it. You know, to this day my memories of it are vague, and there’s like half of it I can’t remember period. I spent hours just dead, staring at nothing,” Marinette takes a shaky breath, preparing herself. That day is still the hardest part to talk or think about for her, even all these months later. “I went to school in a good mood, you know, because we’d talked for the first time in months and were making plans to hang out. Lila had been gone for a while and I figured that she wouldn’t be back and I could have more of a break. Everything seemed normal in class, I was worried about being late, especially with Adrien gone. Then class ended. You were yelling at me, maybe Nino too? I couldn’t breathe right, and I tried to leave. You grabbed my wrist and suddenly everyone was yelling, and then the door slammed. You were surprised and I twisted myself away, falling down the stairs. By then I’d realized the door slam was another person and I was scared, so I ran. Chloe and Sabrina found me in the bathroom, and from there I don’t know, but others have filled me in. Chloe brought me home and apparently took pictures. Then Maman must have had me go to my room. Chat Noir said he saw me on my balcony and I was completely unresponsive. He sent me to bed, and then it was the next day.” Somehow, Marinette manages to get through the story with minimal voice cracking and tears.

Alya makes a choked sound, more tears falling. After a moment she croaks, “Can I see the pictures?”

Marinette looks at her. “What? Why?” “I deserve it. I was the reason you fell and I need to see what I did.”

Marinette pauses. She didn’t intend to show anyone the pictures, they were obviously upsetting. She’s sitting on the counter, slumped and staring downward. She had expected her eyes to be haunted, or sad, or something like that, but they were just… empty. Nothing at all. Somehow it’s worse that way.

Her red-rimmed eyes and dried tear tracks are proof of her earlier crying.

Marinette is covered in fresh bruises, on her arms, legs, and the one on her face. She got scratches near most of them, the angry red of the skin outlining and accentuating the bruises. Her wrist is clearly sprained - swelled and bruised. Her Maman is in front of her, cleaning her up as best she can, applying bandages and putting an ice pack on the wrist.

“Are you sure? You don’t need to see them. They’re-”

Alya nods. “I deserve it.”

So Marinette turns the phone to her.

Alya covers her mouth in horror, fresh tears coming to her eyes. She won’t let herself look away. She flips through each picture repeatedly, growing more and more upset. Her expression changes momentarily, confusion to sickened understanding.

“I’m so sorry,” she sobs, “I’m so so so sorry. I never- There’s no excuse- I- I’m so sorry.”

Marinette takes the phone. Seeing the screenshots that Chloe sent, she winces. She still doesn’t like reading them, somehow the pictures of her are more bearable so she switches back to those before shutting the device off.

“Why?” Marinette asks, “What on Earth was going on that day that you thought I deserved to hear those things? I wa- n-need to know.”

Alya shakes her head. “There’s no excuse. I… I was having a bad day, and then Lila told us that Ladybug had sided with you and I j-j-just got so mad. It felt better than just wallowing in self-pity. You s-sent that text and I just u-used you as some sort of p-personal punching bag. I t-t-texted you for a while, and then Adrien, Chloe, and Sabrina showed up. I guess Sabrina grabbed my ph-phone when I was d-distracted with Chloe and deleted your contact. I sp-spe-spent the rest of the day mad at you.”

Marinette stares at a corner of her room, her voice soft. “I was at lunch. I was already having a bad day, and I had found out you deleted the Ladyblog so I was thinking about you and wondering where I went wrong and how much you guys hated me, which was honestly the usual, but moreso.” Alya barely stifles a cry. “I meant to text Allegra, but I’d taken the wrong phone to school. I made myself read each text, and it was everything I’d been t-telling myself, so that was…” Marinette looks away and takes a deep breath. “My friends found me, and somehow I got to the library. I don’t…. I don’t really remember much until I got home, and Adrien was there and I decided to tell them why I transferred.”

“I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.”

Marinette shakes her head. “I didn’t have you come over so we could compare events. Alya, you were my first friend, my best friend, and you just… left me. I don’t understand.” Her voice cracks.

Alya reaches toward her slightly, then remembers herself and draws back. Guilt claws at her inside, and it feels like it is coursing through her veins. “I- always thought that you had deceived us. That you had somehow faked kindness and that Lila was finally showing us the truth. I was d-disgusted with myself for ha-having ever called you my friend, and I just wanted t-to d-d-do everything I c-could to make it up to Lila for it. I thought- I started avoiding you near the end of school because you seemed like you were changing for the worse. Then that first week back just seemed to prove it. I’m so sorry, Marinette.”

Somehow, something about her words angers the designer. She’d been doing her best to stay calm, but something in her wants to make Alya understand how she was hurt and hurt her back.

“Oh?” Her voice is scathing, and she fakes disinterest, exaggeratingly inspecting her nails. “See, to me, I felt like I was losing my best friend. I had been so sure that Lila’s threat to take all my friends away would never come true. I told myself that sure, we weren’t as close, but you didn’t hate me. Then I returned to school. Wednesday we made plans to hang out, do you remember? I was so hopeful after that, and then you were the first to turn. All of you just threw me out - do you have any idea how badly that messed me up? How long it took me to believe I was worthy of being cared about after that?”

Like someone watching their neighbor’s house burn in the night, Alya stares as Marinette continues.

“I still haven’t recovered properly! My anxiety is so much worse now, because come on, look what Lila did in less than a year! Who knows what could happen! A part of my mind is still constantly waiting for people to leave me again, and while I no longer believe it- thank goodness- actually no! Thank my friends, because they stayed. They cared about me, when I didn’t even care about me and I would never have recovered without them! So yeah, while I no longer think that they’ll leave me, there’s a part of my mind forever wondering ‘what if they do’. I thought I’d lost them before. You met them after an akuma attack and Lila was with you, and I saw them talking to you and I was so sure that they would find out about everything and then they’d start looking at me in disgust too, that I’d be forced to watch more people drift away, to lose people again, and then I’d be alone again! They didn’t even know what happened yet! They found me having a panic attack and the first thing I said was that I’d prove to them that I wasn’t lying! I was so desperate! I didn’t want to lose them too! And…” Marinette exhales, fury dying down and giving way to exhaustion. “Look. We used to be so close, but no matter what, that can’t happen again. There’s a rift now. I don’t hate you, and I’m not saying I never want to speak to you, maybe years from now, we could maybe be some sort of friends, but we can never be best friends again, if we ever were.”

Alya nods. “Th-th-that’s fine. I don’t deserve you. Y-you’re b-be-being too nice as it i-is.”

Marinette’s heart breaks. She wants to comfort her so badly, but she won’t lie, and she’s beginning to feel that maybe it’s okay to think someone doesn’t deserve her. She has value, and if people don’t treat her that way, then she knows who isn’t worth her time. She won’t agree with the statement though, that just feels too mean, and she can’t bring herself to say it to her face.

The two sit in an awkward silence for some time, interrupted only by Alya’s barely stifled sniffling and sobbing. Marinette grabs her phone.

 Marinette: would you be up to talking with alya?

 Adrien <3: What did she do?

 Marinette: r talk went fine i meant for the way she treated u.

 Adrien <3: Oh.

Adrien <3: Sure.

 Marinette: well be on r way down

 “Alya? I think you should talk to Adrien. The way he was treated at school is inexcusable,” Marinette says coldly. She flips up on the messages app as she turns off her phone.

The other girl nods shakily, and they head downstairs. When they reach the entrance to the park, it’s not hard to spot her group of friends. The five of them are out on the grass, chatting with each other. Marinette walks over to them, staring down at them. “Watching the grass grow, huh?”

They all turn to look at her, there are several cries of ‘Mari!’ from everyone but Felix who just remarks, “Oh yes, it is indeed very intriguing.”

She can see the barely concealed smirk on his face, and she just rolls her eyes. “Goodness, you guys.”

“How did it go?” Allegra asks, eyeing Alya warily.

“It went fine. She’s here to talk with Adrien.”

Adrien nods, standing to give Marinette a quick hug before walking with Alya to the other side of the park.

“...I feel bad. She’s so upset,”  Marinette mumbles.

Allegra hugs her tightly, and Marinette can tell she’s scowling. “As she should, after what she did.”

“Still.”

“You care too much, that’s all,” Claude justifies, “Too much empathy, which isn’t the worst trait to have.”

“We can hate her enough for you,” Allegra growls, still watching Alya.

“She doesn’t deserve that. I don’t want her to hate herself for this, that’s not good.”

“Oh, ‘Nette. I’m sure she won’t hate herself, prob’ly just be pretty guilty for a while.” Allan reassures.

Felix adds, “Even if she did, it would not be your fault in the slightest. You cannot control what other people think.”

Marinette frowns, unconvinced.

Claude musses up her hair, earning an affronted squeak from the girl. He ignores her, saying, “Anyways, do you want to hear about the grass we’ve been watching? I swear it’s grown a whole one thousand twenty fourth of a millimeter.”

“Did you actually watch grass grow?”

“Well, that’s what we said we were gonna’ do, isn’t i’?” Allan teases.

Marinette shakes her head, sighing.

“Actually, it’s technically spring right now, how are you doing?” Allegra asks.

Marinette grins. “I’m back to normal, but in a few weeks? Once flowers start blooming I’m going to be a little hyper, so prepare yourself.”

“Wonderful,” Felix mutters, “Two Claudes.”

“You love meeeee!!” Claude flops towards him, teasing.

“I suppose.”

“So, is that from the same thing that makes you try to hibernate?” Allan checks.

“Yup! I really like spring! Flower crowns incoming.”

“I am all for flower crowns!” Claude crows.

“I’m guessing Adrien knows about this?” Allegra says, “He seemed to know something when spring was brought up, but decided he was going to be all cryptic about it.”

“It’s just more fun that way!” The boy in question returns, going next to Marinette.

“He’s not wrong.”

“Oh, of course you would agree with that, Claude.”

They bat their eyes innocently. “Why, Allegra, I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Pfff. Yeah, you’re definitely the picture of innocence, buddy.” Allan rolls his eyes.

Claude gasps. “Allan! You’d betray me like this? Does our friendship mean nothing? Et tu, Brute?”

The boy puts the back of his hand on his forehead, falling backwards.

“Oh no! Claude feign-ted!” Adrien cries.

It takes a moment, but Claude is the first to get it, cracking up. Marinette just sighs wearily, soon followed by Felix. Allan and Allegra understand at the same time, the former laughing, and the latter groaning.

---

Author’s Note: How was that for a chapter? Originally, I was going to have her friends see the pictures, but it didn't quite fit in, and it wouldn't have led to anything big, so I dropped it.

Were you surprised there wasn't a strong language warning? I was when I was proofreading.

Hey, who wants to see the results of the survey? Do you want them later today or on Saturday (to give it a full week)? Also, there's some great extra responses from that bit at the end, so do you guys just want to see all of them or have me find some highlights? If you haven't taken it, please do, because I'm having a blast. Also, should I do another survey for a dumb debate like this, because I already found another great question.

(Can you tell I've been cooped up inside only leaving to walk the dog or get groceries? A little stir crazy here. My dog is just happy I'm home more.)

Regardless, I look forward to any and all comments you have for me! You guys make me smile!

P.S. I haven’t done a ‘things I’ve overheard’ in a while. I’ll probably post one soon.

First | Previous | Next

[yeosanqtuary]

with u - pt. 12

☆ - list of chapters

☆ - all content are fictional.

“jongho.”

--

san took a deep breath as he stopped in front of the apartment door, raising his hand to the keypad lock. the door unlocked successfully and was pushed open, only to reveal wooyoung sitting on the dining table, working on his homework with hongjoong. 

ah... he didn’t expect to see him immediately when he entered the apartment!

what should he do now?

“oh, hey san. wanna join us?” wooyoung asked as if nothing had happened that afternoon, smiling brightly at him like he always did. 

“a-ah, well, s-sure,” 

“okay! let’s work on our history homework together!”

san nodded and smiled back awkwardly, retreating to his room immediately. 

he was such a dumb ass! why didn’t he just ask to have a moment with wooyoung? how long are you gonna drag this for?

he gathered his materials quickly and stepped into the living room, but hongjoong wasn’t there anymore. maybe he went back to his room?

san awkwardly took a seat opposite wooyoung and set his materials down, accidentally exerting too much strength when he placed his pencil down, causing it to roll off the table. 

wooyoung saw that and immediately dove his hand down the table to grab it, groping around for the pencil. san too had squatted down and was reaching for it, but wooyoung had grabbed his hand instead. 

he immediately pulled it away, as if he was afraid that san might bite, but it was the total opposite. 

“s-sorry,” mumbled wooyoung after he had regained his posture. 

“it’s nothing. thanks for the help! let’s start, shall we?” san stood up and sat down on the tall bar chair, only to almost fall off. seeing this, wooyoung burst out laughing, even though it wasn’t really funny. he doubled over in laughter when san regained his balance but almost fell off again. 

“s-stop laughing! it ain’t funny!” san’s cheeks had turned five shades of red in embarrassment. he buried his face in his arms on the table, secretly enjoying the attention wooyoung was giving him. plus, the way he laughed... the way his laughter was filtered into a melody in his head...

“haha! okay-hahah! f-fine, let’s start for real now,” wooyoung finally managed to contain his laughter and started focusing on the worksheet, but the scene just kept replaying in his mind. 

he ignored the constant replays for almost two minutes, but as soon as his eyes fell onto san’s figure, he erupted in giggles and eventually started laughing loudly. 

“hey, it isn’t that funny...” san whined with an agonized look on his face, feeling like the dumbest ever. 

“i-i’m sorry! it’s just... it’s just-pfft!” wooyoung giggled a few more times and finally stopped, picking up his pen as he took a deep breath to calm himself down. "okay, let's start. share your answer with me when you're done!"

"you too," san replied and the two boys started focusing on their assignment.

eventually, the sounds of their pen and pencil scribbling against the paper filled the quiet living room as the two became engrossed in completing their work. however, like a spell was cast on them, their focus didn’t seem to last and after a short while, their thoughts had drifted to the same place: my soulmate.

san was the first to put down his pencil. he looked up from his paper and leaned forward, resting his chin on his hands. wooyoung noticed his action and looked up too, only to find san staring at him with a smile on his face. he thought that he would want to see his smile every day and blushed at that thought. how nice would that be!

san inched closer as he saw that wooyoung had went back to working on his paper after looking up at him. he was probably feeling shy, san thought. he’s cute when he’s shy.

“h-hey, what are you doing? hurry u-up and finish your work so we can check it together,” wooyoung finally gave in to san’s antics and thus, forgot everything that he wanted to write on his paper. damn it, i had a lot in mind... but i don’t care, since i’m with you.

his cheeks had flushed red again. well not really, since it was already a light shade of red from the start. why was he feeling so much like this today? it was indescribable. he just felt more... happy and lively today. like he wanted to pounce onto san and not let go of him for as long as he could. damn, he could hold on forever, too, if only san wanted him too...

“wooyoung? wooyoung! woo! young!” san’s calls had snapped wooyoung out of his thoughts. he felt so embarrassed to have been daydreaming about san in front of san himself. with that, his cheeks flushed a few shades deeper than it already was. 

“what’s with you today? you’re especially cuter,”

“n-no i’m not! s-stop calling me c-cute...”

san chuckled a little, but sighed afterwards. “wooyoung. i need to tell you... ah, no, we need to talk. wait, no, i mean-”

“mm, i get it already. what’s wrong?” it was wooyoung’s turn to chuckle and think that he was cuter than usual. 

“it’s about, um, that incident during lunch period,” san had spoken the words slowly, observing wooyoung’s expression as each word left his mouth.

"ah... right, i have something to say about that, too. but you go first," thankfully, he didn't seem to avoid the topic or seem uncomfortable with it.

"okay," san took a deep breath. "s-so... what happened was that i had my soulmate pain and yeosang had brought you over. i didn't know why he did it then, but after you touched me, it was clear as day,"

"then, i grabbed your hand and told you that we were-"

"soulmates?!" wooyoung exclaimed, cutting san's sentence off.

"y-yeah. judging from your reaction after you had snapped out of your trance after i told you, it seemed like you hadn't heard it at all, so..."

"san, san! i had a vision! or maybe even just a dumb daydream, that we were in a grass field, with a calming breeze, fresh air and all! you told me that you've finally found me and that we're, we're soulmates!"

san was shocked. what wooyoung experienced was indeed a vision, not a daydream. he had read online that individuals with conditions would experience a vision when they find their soulmate. however, this would only happen once in a blue moon. you could say that wooyoung is very lucky.

seeing that san had this... horrified(filtered by wooyoung's mind) look on his face, wooyoung felt his heart drop from a mountain. a lump had formed in his throat and drops of tears slid down his soft, rosy cheeks.

"w-what's wrong? was my vision actually a dumb daydream? a-am i not your soulmate after all? am i... no, will i ever... find a soulmate? s-san, i t-think you mistook me for someone else. i could never-"

seeing wooyoung like this totally broke san's heart. he didn't want to hear anymore of those words. immediately, he went over to wooyoung and took him into his warm embrace, gently stroking his back.

"wooyoung-ah. i haven't mistook you for anyone else. that wonderful feeling, that electricity that shot through my body when you touched me, that voice in me screaming that you were my soulmate. plus, i'm sure my indicator is red right now,"

wooyoung flinched when he heard the last sentence. he released the hug and looked for a red indicator.

"!!!"

indeed, it was red.

"someone else could've touched you at the same time as i did..." he was feeling depressed again.

"hold on, before you think of anything ridiculous! i've read about an article regarding visions. apparently, those with conditions can experience visions! but it's a once in a blue moon thing. since your vision was about us, then i'm sure it is the vision. so, neither of us have mistaken anything. you're my soulmate, and i'm your soulmate,"

"r-really..." wooyoung sniffled, "i'm glad..."

san smiled and raised his hands to his cheeks, wiping his tears off.

"there, there, don't cry. you've finally found your soulmate,"

"saaaan!!! i really, r-really-hic-like youuu! i'm so happy. i'm so glad my soulmate is you!"

with his hands still cupping wooyoung's cheeks, san leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

"i like you too, wooyoung,"

they embraced each other for a few more minutes, while a certain couple had walked in and accidentally stepped on san's abandoned assignment. it had found its way onto the floor, right in front of the door.

"ah... see, joong? i told you we should've came back later!"

"damn, sorry hwa. but i needed to take a shit and there weren't any appropriate public toilets i could've shat in,"

anyway, san didn't even notice the two elders. he was too engrossed in thinking. thinking about their future. they would get a job after graduating high school, rent an apartment and adopt a cat or a dog, maybe. wake up to each other's faces... wow, the life. and maybe... spicy nights? damn...

"san? san... d-do you wanna go get, um, i-ice cream?" wooyoung had calmed down and realised he had been running his snot and tears all over san's shoulder and he kinda wanna compensate that.

san had no idea why but it seemed like he could listen to what wooyoung was thinking, even though he wasn't speaking at all.

"ah, you wanna compensate me? no worries," he smirked and proceeded to sweep wooyoung off the floor and headed his room.

"a-ah, i-i'm not-"

"what are you thinking?" he chuckled, gently flicking his forehead. "change your clothes! i'm gonna go change into mine, too. we're gonna get ice cream. you're paying!"

damn, i'm not dreaming, right?

[planetoban]

Savin’s Answers from Twitter, Part 3!

Well, looks like it’s been nearly 2 years since the last SAfT post... sorry about that! Time really got away from me on this one. Due to the backlog, this post covers tweets from October 2017 through April 2018

As always, tweets are in order from most to least recent, and answers may not 100% true/canon since things may change during production of the sequel. Text is unedited save for formatting; in a few places I added [comments] for context.

Part 1 | Part 2

Also: If you’re going to ask Savin something, please be respectful and appropriate. He’s a person just like you and me.

@fictionjustis: Out of curiosity can a Nourasian and human have a child together? Also can humans conceive children with other humanoid species in the galaxy?

@EiffelSavin: I don't think any such birth have been recorded in the Oban universe, at least yet. But humans and Nourasians having a very similar DNA, it should be theoretically possible. There have been quite a few fanarts on that topics already 🙂

(x)

@PudgyDragonLair: Also how big is the Arrow in comparison to Molly like actually height and length?‏

@EiffelSavin: From my original notes: Whizzing Arrow 1 - length 8m, height 7m, weight 10t Whizzing Arrow 2 - length 10m, height 7m, weight 14t to be compared with the final designs

(x)

@PudgyDragonLair: hey Savin I'm not sure if this would be considered a spoiler or not but how Long are Nourasian life spans in comparison to humans and other alien species?

@EiffelSavin: I'm not sure anymore. I'd have to find my old notes... But if Nourasians approximately live the same number of "years" as humans, they are "Nourasian years" which are much longer  than our "Earth years" due to the longer distance between Nourasia and its sun. May be 2 or 3 times+

(x)

@JPLangley_: Something I've been wanting to ask is how was Eva able to get away with not following the gender-specific dress code at Stern? Did faculty just give up trying to discipline her since she nor Don didn't care?

@EiffelSavin: I think my justification for that was that Stern's school rules only stated that wearing the school uniform was compulsory, without specifically mentioning that the short dress was for girls and the long pants for boys. Also they had bigger issues with Eva than just her uniform.

(x)

@PudgyDragonLair: what was the Arrows original purpose before Don and the Goverment took it ? Me and my friend rewatched OSR and we noticed alot of things that would be atypical for a Star Racer (key among them a gun turrent ). Was the Arrow made to be some kind of stealth ship?

@PudgyDragonLair: It has capabilities to check Molly vitals and mental state while she s racing, as well as the hyperdldrives which I doubt would be allowed in racing circuits, and a remote access to the gun torrent, and hand off access shoukd the pilot be unable to man it.

@EiffelSavin: You got a point there. For better or worse army funding helps develop new technologies that are later reintroduced into civilian life/products. The "prototypes" Miguel had been working were not your typical star-racer and aimed at a different market...

(x)

[continued from thread below]

@Helloworld1012: And the fact that Eva was a beautiful young girl certainly didn’t hurt

@EiffelSavin: Yes but more than that the fact that she's not your typical girly girl beauty. A long haired bimbo would not have awoken  Aikka's interest.

(x)

@ILOVE659709491: Is there any chance one of the reasons Eva was so quick to trust & befriend Aikka was because the prince’s personality was similar to her father’s personality before Maya’s death? Both were reserved,well cultured & gentlemanly but kind + both had a passion for racing

@EiffelSavin: Freud would like the implications no doubt, but I think the relationship with Aikka is more simple and direct. He's good looking, a prince, well mannered. She's feels rejected  - especially by her dad - a bit of an "Ugly Duckling" and he takes an interest in her.

@ILOVE659709491: I’m curious though why was Aikka interested in Eva ?

@EiffelSavin: Just as he's the opposite of what she's known, she's a total opposite for him: tough, outspoken, pure - and touching. The noble girls he's met in Nourasia's palaces were not like that!

(x)

@JPLangley_: Also, unrelated question, but if the second season of Oban does ever make it to the public, will it explore what happened to Thunderbolt and Jordan after the events of OSR?

@EiffelSavin: Can't guarantee both...

(x)

@JPLangley_: Did Spirit originally have wings, and him transforming into a bird was a second thought?

@EiffelSavin: The concept was always that he would transform into his own ship but judging by Thomas's drawing I guess we tried more classic wings first.

(x)

@Helloworld1012: Stern boarding school prided itself on disciplining their students what did they mean by discipline? Also, considering DW’s personality before Maya’s death seems to have a anime rich kid with controlling parents background vibe to it, what social class was DW born to

@EiffelSavin: In my view, Don Wei comes from a modest background. Being a self made man he can be very demanding, expecting from others to obey the rules he's imposed on himself in order to succeed. Maya and young Eva soothed him up, but that went away after Maya's death

@Helloworld1012: Yeah but everything else about him doesn’t seem like he’s a self made man. Or just a selfmade man. It got to me, he’s still young when Maya died & also it’s possible that he could have grown up rich & still be a self made man because his parents gave up on him.‏

@EiffelSavin: That could also be possible yes I put him out there, but you're totally untitled to make him yours now !  🙂

(x)

@ardaozcan98: Did you get any inspiration from B-2 Spirit aircraft while designing Spirit in OSR or is the resemblence just a coincidence?

@EiffelSavin: Interesting. I came up with the name without being aware of the connection & I don't think the plane was ever a reference for the design, but we should ask @thomasintokyo and @Brunetstanilas too.  As you can see below (2002 rough by Thomas) Spirit went through a lot of phases

@Thomasintokyo: Never heard of this plane. That’s a coincidence!

(x)

@emaf_CntCmnd: I wonder if you have known who works for BANDAI VISUAL and helps to release Japanese ver. of BD like Mr.Takanashi Minoru. (I wish he were still alive.)‏

@EiffelSavin: Mr. Takanashi disappearance came as a terrible shock. But we're working on establishing new connections with Bandaï.

(x)

@ardaozcan98: Do you consider producing comic books or novels instead or alongside with the sequel. There are lots of unknowns and potential for backstories of the galaxy and species i think. And books may be cheaper or easier to create. Loved the original art-book.

@EiffelSavin: That's not a bad idea. Any talented manga-comic book artists interested around here ? 🙂

(x)

@Valeria_Lacava: Could you do something for the italian rights? Jetix closed and it's impossible to find online the episodes in italian

@EiffelSavin: STW doesn't own those rights but we'll try to negotiate them if Disney agrees and if this can be done within the bluray budget.

(x)

@Helloworld1012: How was Don Wei able to pay the financial cost to form a race team with Maya and make her a champion? Race teams cost a fortune, but sponsorship was unlikely since DW stated & the timeline shows Maya was the first person he was a manager to, so he had no credibility.

@EiffelSavin: Mostly true but not completely true. If things were always so then I would never have been able to produce Oban Star-Racers, having no hard cash of my own, and having never produced nor directed an entire series before 🙂

(x)

@dragbax: Do you have any idea how big of an impact this show had on me as a kid??? Plz don't disappoint me of backing down or handle it poorly... My heart can't handle that. Especially how Samurai Jack was treated with its last season.  :(

@EiffelSavin: It may still be a long road ahead, especially since we don't intend to sell out, but I can promise we'll do our best!

(x)

@Helloworld1012: I’m curious did Don Wei stop caring about Eva after Maya died? I mean he did abandon her just for resembling her mother & tried to forget she even existed for 10 years and would have CONTINUED to do so Had Eva not done anything about it, so did he stop caring?‏

@EiffelSavin: He tried to forget so well that he almost completely did

@Helloworld1012: Wait, doesn’t that basically mean that yes Don Wei did  stop caring about Eva once her mother died?‏

@EiffelSavin: Yes basically (what an awful dad!). Seeing Eva reminded him too much of Maya and of his guilt. He couldn't bare it and walked away, at least until he was ready to face her again.

(x)

@n0sichan: I hope subtitles  for disabled peope will be available this time.

@EiffelSavin: If we have enough presales yes

(x)

@MattGiusti: What is your thought process when it comes to animating characters speaking?Do you need to keep in mind how other languages will line up to the animation?Or do you do everything with one language in mind and alter the script accordingly later on?

@EiffelSavin: One concentrates on one main language. On Oban i wrote all scripts directly in English and the lip sink was based on those. But then i spent a whole month in front of an editing machine rewriting french dialogues that matched that lipsink

(x)

@McKhendon: How do you accomplish 16:9 without losing parts of the picture?

@EiffelSavin: You're bound to loose part of the picture but if you address the process creatively you can produce new strong images by selecting shot by shot what u keep & what you discard

@SonicMrgame2017: The show was made on 16.9?

@EiffelSavin: No, in 4/3. It was still the transition period between the 2 formats at the time and our investors required 4/3. The remastered 16/9 version was done this year, reframing the original master shot by shot under my supervision.

(x)

@ardaozcan98: All the dubs would be really nice especially for children.

@EiffelSavin: We'll see if something can be done but it sounds complicated. Sav The World doesn't own the rights of these other versions.

(x)

@Wnika457: Is it possible that the online game wil be reopened? That would be awesome, I remember playing it when I was a kid :)

@EiffelSavin: That would be cool but we don't have the rights nor even a copy. But there'll be other games if we manage to pull through the sequel project

(x)

@RadekFalhar: I just found out you are making Saya no Uta adaptation. I really hope you don't think the abortion that is the US manga is in any way related to the VN.

@EiffelSavin: The US comic probably had good intentions but turned Saya into smthng very different & sometimes opposite to what it is. The adaptation I work on also take liberties with the original material, but I try to remain very faithful to its spirit & to the mindset of the characters

(x)

@lilacwondercat: Is there really a sequel in the works? I am such a huge fan, please say it's true!

@EiffelSavin: It's true but still a long to go. Creation takes time and the financing is the most pressing issue...

@lilacwondercat: Is there anything die hard fans can do to help?

@EiffelSavin: Most certainly though I can't think of anything precise right now. Helping spreading the word about the bluray is one though. The more people buy it, the stronger we can be when talking to potential financial partners.

(x)

@Ekana_Stone: Does Blu-ray have the English dub, I would assume so

@EiffelSavin: Yes, French and English language are guaranteed. We would like to add Japanese too but there are question of rights we must try to sort out.

(x)

@fictionjustis: Considering the fact that Oban star racers indeed had Japanese influence, I’m curious did u base Maya’s character design on a character from sailor moon, ( The 1990s version not the 2010s version) a well known anime & manga?

@EiffelSavin: Maya's character design clearly has anime influences but it was developed organically, drawing after drawing. It was not influenced by one show in particular.

(x)

@Zeether77: Would love to see this on Blu-ray here, but not cropped to widescreen...does Shout Factory still have the rights?

@EiffelSavin: DVD & Bluray rights have reverted to us

@Zeether77: Would the BD release be a limited time thing? I just got a player but I don't think I could commit to a preorder sadly

@EiffelSavin: Can't confirm right now

(x)

@ILOVE659709491: I’m trying to figure out what it is exactly because he [Savin] could be saying that the wei surname was meant to be Chinese or DW was Chinese but I just can’t figure out what it is, & unfortunately for some reason it has been driving me crazy yesterday so what is it in that question?‏

@EiffelSavin: Don Wei is of Chinese origin or at least his family is

(x)

@sergeigaponov: #obanstarracers Could you write a list of countries in which you can send blu-ray Oban: Star Racers?

@EiffelSavin: Too early to confirm but my guess would be in all countries.

(x)

@Nick_Kharin: How much can Blu-ray boxset will cost (approximately or the maximum price)? I’m very excited about the news about the project.

@EiffelSavin: Still evaluating.

(x)

@Adultito: Will the Blu Ray have the Japanese audio and the original OP+ED

@EiffelSavin: Japanese audio we'll try. There could be pbs of rights. French and English at the minimum.

@Adultito: speaking of Japanese audio, will there be the original OP "Chance to Shine" (shown in most international broadcasts) on the English dub because the US broadcast (as well as the Shout Factory DVDs) used "Never Say Never"

@EiffelSavin: We have the rights to all the original songs and tracks but not to "Never Say Never" which was produced by the US broadcaster of Oban. So we would use "Chance to Shine" for the opening.

(x)

@Maj0r_Crisis: Will we ever see a release of the cancelled second volume of the Original Soundtrack?

@EiffelSavin: If we have enough preorders, one of our plans is to add most of or even all of Iwazaki Taku's 80 original tracks as a bonus to the bluray edition

(x)

@delicatedowner: I wish you good fortune on making the blu-ray release a reality (will your company self-publish the BDs like with Ankama and their Wafku sets?).

@EiffelSavin: We may self publish too but could go the kickstaryer way. Unlike us Ankama is a rich company!

@delicatedowner: Even Ankama went the Kickstarter way.  And it backfired on them.  I hope you'll do a better job.

@EiffelSavin: We'll see. But if you meant "selfpublish" as in "creating the design packaging etc" ourselves, yes that would be the plan. We have some good people we can work with.

(x)

@nothisiswindii: Do you think you guys should make a 4:3 aspect ratio version of the Blu-ray? A lot of studios tend to simply "zoom in" their old shows to fake a 16:9 ratio, and they end up losing a lot of detail on the top and bottom as a result.

@EiffelSavin: Probably but it's something we'll discuss with all those who register with the Oban Bluray project when the times comes. In all cases, I can guarantee the 16/9 remaster is not a "zoom in". We took care of things on a shot by shot basis (see the video on http://obanstarracers.com )

@docsane: I'm curious: why was Oban not originally shot 16:9? I thought it was unusual at the time to still see an animation being released 4:3.

@EiffelSavin: Oban was signed just at the time when productions were beginning to shift from 4/3 to 16/9. But our financial partners asked for 4/3 so we produced and delivered 4/3.

(x)

@harpnote: The new site looks slick! I am sad the forums are no longer up. It was a good time there.

@EiffelSavin: We have the copies. We may put them back online but already have our hands full right now

(x)

@MattGiusti: Will [OSR] HD be exclusively a blue ray release? Or can one buy a digital version online?

@EiffelSavin: The first goal is the bluray release.

(x)

@ILOVE659709491: Considering Wei is a Chinese surname & with the exception of his temper DW’s manners and taste indicate a certain upbringing is there a possibilty that Don is the son of a high class family in Asia and he moved to America or Europe because of his passion for racing?

‏@EiffelSavin: In spite of the obvious connection with Japanese anime, Wei is a Chinese name indeed and it was meant that way.

(x)

@sergeigaponov: There are no such scenes [dramatic scenes in children’s shows], because people are interested in toilet humor. The time has already passed when people cried over such scenes. There are few people who are crying. I hope in the #second #season of the drama will be more, because #Eva has matured.

@EiffelSavin: If it 's only up to me I'll say definitely yes and in all cases that what we want to aim for. This said, I have a feeling traditional broadcasters are targeting younger and younger audiences and aim even more for comedy than before.

(x)

@ILOVE659709491: Considering Maya was DW's first champion, DW  stated her charm was her recklessness, That Maya seemed to be more dominant in the relationship, & considering DW's and Maya's personalities in the past is it possible Maya introduced Don to the racing world?

@EiffelSavin: Interesting thought. But I'd say no. Don Wei was born to be a race manager.

(x)

@lbigreyhound: Any idea when and where it [the HD remaster] will be available?

@EiffelSavin: The new HD master will be used in future broadcasts of OSR, at least one of whitch is planned for 2018. When we go ahead with our plans for a bluray relase, we may use it as well, or else chose to stick with the original 4/3 format.

(x)

@ILOVE659709491: so I’m curious, what inspired the idea for OSR I’m super excited for the sequel but I am curious on what inspired the idea for OSR 2 Since it’s been over a decade since OSR?

@EiffelSavin: The 10 year anniversary of the first release brought the original artistic team together. We all thought it would be nice to look back at the world we created.

(x)

[Not sure who he’s replying to here, but the question seems to be about Maya’s race with Spirit]

@EiffelSavin: If I remember correctly there just wasn't enough time and she gestured Spirit to stand out of arm's way.

(x)

@RedVioletPanda: Why is the Holy of Dol, well, holy? In the artbook, there is a mention of elemental magic of the Nourasians, what is that exactly?

@EiffelSavin: Nourasian are close to nature. Magic and the use of natural ressources more than makes up for the lack of technology. As for elemental magic its source of power is nature itself.

(x)

[Again, not sure who he’s replying to]

@EiffelSavin: We continue to work on dvlpmnt but it's a costly project & bringing the right financial partners together is the long and uncertain part...

(x)

[doeeyeddarlingxo]

Myriad Misadventures - Chapter 4

The Myriad Misadventures of a Midgardian Queen-In-Training - Chapter 4

AO3 | Previous | Next

Word Count: 1219

Pairing: Loki/Reader

Rating: T

Myriad Misadventures - Chapter 4

You hear the bell-tone of your cell, over and over again. Picking it up, you see texts popping up, some from numbers you don’t even recognize.

ru watching good nite america

Is that really you?!

omg congrats!

Wow that sux

ur pic looks great

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

i cant believe it! great job!

(Y/N)!

Congrats, (Y/N)!!!!!!!11111!!!!

(Y/N), u there?

A visit to your Facebook page yields similar results, especially once people see you’re online. A second later, the house phone starts ringing, and the rest of your family snaps out of their collective stupor. Mom leaps up to grab the phone, Erik and Carlie crowd around you, Dad storms out of the room...

“Are you okay?” That’s Erik, shaking your shoulder gently. “(Y/N)?”

“Yes, she’s right - " She pauses to glance back at you. " - oh, no, she’s in the shower. Of course, I’ll tell her you called - oh, I have a call waiting, can you hold? Hello? This is Mrs. (LN). Oh, (Y/N) isn’t available right now, but I’ll let her know you called…” The calls are coming in faster than Mom can field them, the texts flashing across your phone screen like gunfire.

“I’m fine.” Your voice sounds hollow, distant. Like it’s coming from someone else. Dimly, you’re aware of the fact that you’re standing up again, clutching your cell phone. You walk up the stairs, Carlie at your heels. You climb under the blankets fully clothed, not even bothering to turn off the lights, and, with your little sister huddled besides you, you close your eyes and try, try to sleep.

*******************************************

Thank God for best friends. If it weren't for Steven, you'd never make it through school alive.

"I can't believe your parents are making you go to school," he mutters. You shrug and nod, as if to say, I know, right?

As it is, you aren't too sure you will make it out of this building alive - sure, there are some girls that you are friendly with, some that support you, some that pity you (in the nicest way possible)...but you've received a handful of glances that carry more than a little malintent. Case in point: most of the girls in your eighth period chemistry class are too nice (or, at present, too focused on saponification) to glare or make snide comments. But at the lab table next to you, Lara Jennings is staring at you with such intensity, you're almost afraid her goggles will melt.

"Is it five minutes to passing yet?" you whisper. Steven's gaze flickers to his watch before he shakes his head, and you draw your lips into a pout. Steven, bless his soul, is pretending to have a sprained ankle so that you can be his book carrier and leave class early with him, thus saving you from those four minutes of passing period hell. In class, nobody can do much, but the hallways are fair game. As it is, there are some places you can't avoid, like the cafeteria, for instance. Or gym. I swear, if Annabelle Wilkes makes one more comment about how corseting is sure to do wonders for my figure, I will throw her stupid purse so hard it, it’ll end up in the boys’ locker room.

Not that Annabelle would mind. After all, it would be just another excuse to prance around the gym in her booty shorts and sports bra, whining to Coach, winking at whatever poor boy accepted the task of returning the pocketbook.

But you digress. You don’t take science with Annabelle; nor do you share a ninth period class, thank God. Finally, Steven raises his hand, and, upon receiving a nod from the teacher, limps to the hallway. You follow after, sighing in relief when the door shuts behind you.

Steven falls into a normal gait besides you. “One period left.”

You groan. “Oh, God…”

He grimaces apologetically. “Sorry.”

“What? No need to apologize. I’m, like, super psyched,” you whisper back sarcastically.

“Really?”

You roll your eyes. “No, genius. I’m freaking out. You really think I want this?”

“No. But it looks like you’re alone on that one.”

You push open the door to the stairs. “Huh?”

As if on cue, Anna Wilke’s nasally voice rises up through the stairwell. “...totally hot, from what I saw.”

One of her friends - Lydia, you think her  name is - pipes up. “It’s the hair. Ugh, Bells, I’m so jealous! I literally missed the cut off by a week. So unfair.”

You freeze as they reach the landing. Annabelle gives you a disgusted once-over before plastering a faker-than-her-breasts smile on her face. She looks perfect, of course - auburn hair piled on top of her head in a strategically messy bun, scarf adorning her collarbone, her stick-figure physique enhanced by the water bra. “(Y/N), sweetie! So funny meeting you here!”

You grimace. Be polite. “Hi, Annabelle.” Honestly, if you weren’t in the same grade, you’d have no idea who she was. As it is, she never paid any attention to you until your name was drawn. Just another one of the many, many perks of being Chosen.

“I can’t believe you’ll be gone in  - what? Less than twenty-four hours?” She looks not to you for confirmation, but to Lydia, who nods enthusiastically.

“Yeah, I’m, um, pretty nervous.”

She raises an eyebrow. “I can tell. Just a word of advice, from one girl to another, I’d lay off on the stress eating, all right? What’ll happen’ll happen. No point in worrying if King Loki will like you, because it’s never gonna happen, right?” Before you have a chance to respond, she looks to Lara and jerks her chin in the direction of the exit. “Anyway, toodles, and break a leg! Make sure you give us a shoutout!” She winks at Steven before sauntering out of the stairwell.

You turn to Steven with a look of disbelief, and he nods, looking equally as disgusted. “Did she just - ”

“Some girls think it’s exciting. You know, they want to be you.” He whacks your shoulder playfully. "She's intimidated of you."

You shake your head, glancing over your shoulder one last time. “That’s, like, revolting. And honestly, does she really think I’ve got any chance of becoming queen? I mean, what were the chances it was anyone from our class? From our school, even? Zero.” You throw your hands up in the air. "I'm sixteen! She's sixteen! I don't want to get married!" It feels good saying it out loud, and Steven does nothing to stop you as you continue to rant. "This whole situation is, like, stupid beyond belief. I should be focused on passing quarterly exams, and AP exams, and...okay, so I hate tests, but this is like an even bigger test, you know? I don't want people watching me try to not be noticed by 'His Majesty,'" you say, adding air quotes at the end. He shrugs. "And, and, like, why am I the only teenager? It's like, thirty, twenty nine, twenty seven, twenty five, twenty one, and then boom! Sixteen-year-old! What the hell?" Slightly calmer, you make to continue down the next flight of stairs, but… “Steven?”

“Yeah?”

You look down at your t-shirt and jeans. “Have I really gained that much weight?”

He rolls his eyes. “(Y/N)...”

“I’m serious!”

“First of all, just because I’m a guy doesn’t mean you get to make me into your sassy gay friend who you can go to for fashion advice, all right? I have a girlfriend. And, second of all, don’t let Annabelle Wilkes get into you head, all right?”

“Regardless of your sexual orientation, you are my sassiest friend by far, and I can and will go to you for fashion advice. And…” You sigh. “Thanks.”

He rubs your arm as you two head down the stairs, just as the first bell rings. In forty five more minutes, you will be back home dealing with the same obnoxious government officials who have been in and out of your house all week, finishing up last-minute paperwork, picking out a Transport Day outfit, and then tomorrow…

Well.

You don’t want to think about tomorrow.

Instead, you scrunch up your nose, thinking again about what Annabelle said. Really, I haven't been stress eating that much...

[6gpymfzi-blog]

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[spacerockwriting]

I’m feeling much better now, so I’m going to talk about the time I saw Cursed Child. It started over a year ago. When the raffles were being released I entered every single one and when I failed at winning, I, like everyone else went to enter the queue on the main day.

The tickets went on sale while I was at work, and I put everything on hold, stressing myself out for the tickets. I get really anxious when I buy tickets for concerts because most of the time I’m fighting for really good concert seats, and with this, it was no exception. However, as I entered the buying portion, I didn’t know what to do. My first plan was to try and see the show in April, as my best friend and I were already planning a trip to see George Salazar and Joe Iconis’ Two Player Game while we were there. I was very impatient with my desire to see Cursed Child. In fact, I was so impatient to see Cursed Child I was willing to throw sums of money at a person who is no longer in my life, just so they could report to me the story. Desperate, amirite?

After much conversing with my best friend, the decision became clear that we couldn’t go see the show in April. We had a lot going on already for that trip, so the decision became that we would just have to go again! When I got in line to buy tickets, september became the time period I was most easily able to get. At first, the decision was like many, to do both parts in one day. However, my best friend is not a Harry Potter fan like I am. They’re familiar with it, they know the franchise, but the thought of having to spend six hours in a theater is not something they’d personally be interested in. Fair enough, so I got the two day tickets, which I’m glad I did!

So in a hurry, I buy two tickets to the September showing of CC. The queue went so quick, and the ticket buying process is a blur. I had no more than ten minutes to make a decision and I called him shortly after buying them and was like “guess we have to go back to New York in September” which he was obviously fine with.

When I bought the tickets it was too quick to really know where I was sitting and what I had bought. When we got there in April, we went past the building and saw a few of our favourite Marquees for shows, but at the time I wasn’t able to go in the HP shop. We saw George Salazar and met him and Joe Iconis at their concert, went to Irving Plaza for a last minute 5SOS show for their upcoming album, and had a blast.

Weeks before our September trip, my best friend asks if his little brother can come to the trip. I say sure, as long as he can finance his own way. A few days later I am asked if it is okay if he goes to the HP show instead. His little brother is a really big HP fan, so I get it. I have no problem with this. We make plans for the trip and I arrive in NYC late on Wednesday before the show.

The Thursday of the show was exciting! I had started to plan out a head of time all the things I wanted at the shop.We decide that my best friend should go see a show while we’re at our show, so he buys last minute tickets for Book of Mormon, and then later that afternoon we eat lunch at Ellens Stardust Diner. The food is really good, and if you’re into Broadway and musicals, I’d suggest it.

After, we go pick up Will Call tickets and he heads back to the hotel while we get to the venue. I am overly excited. I’m in my Hufflepuff backpack and Hufflepuff shirt (my Cedric one I got at Universal) and we wait and wait. We got there like an hour early, and I highly recommend that. We were close in line, but like fifteen minutes later the line was wrapped around in like a U shape. Going in, one of the people at the door told me that “Lounge is downstairs and to the right.” My friend’s brother looks at me and is like “Comet, what did you do?”

I had just pressed buttons on the ticket site until I received tickets. I didn’t know what I did, or pressed. I just blindly bought tickets. So we went to get merch and big reminder IF YOU ARE IN LOUNGE DO NOT BUY THE SOUVENIR PROGRAM which I didn’t know so I had to return my copy of the program, lol. While in the lounge they have a name list by the entrance and you give them your last name and then we got one free beverage (alcoholic or non) and snacks, and at intermission we had desserts and one free beverage (alcoholic or non). It was a blast. Everyone we sat near was excited and hyped up and people beside us were sharing alcohol with us, and tasting and it was like a party. Everyone was excited.

At the end, the waiters in the lounge told us to come back tomorrow and have a wonderful day. The service was excellent, and they were so nice and respectful about everything. They were happy to take pictures, whatever.

At the end of Part 1, the show just stops. There is no curtain call, there is no cast coming out. Just a screen with To Be Continued... Note: the cast does not meet after part 1. If you want part 2 merch, you can only buy it behind the counter after part 1, or during part 2. You cannot buy it in the regular shop. (it is available online, however.)

On part 2 day, I wore my Malfoy quidditch shirt from Universal and kept my Hufflepuff backpack. A LOT of staff were confused why a hufflepuff was wearing Slytherin and I’m a dork about Scorpius so, theres that. Because we were in The Lounge, as we came to call it, my best friend’s little brother and I got in the “special entrance” on the side of the shop. We supposedly counted as VIP and could enter early.  As soon as we got in line, my best friend bid us farewell and went to see his night of Book of Mormon, and then we entered the venue and Voldemort Day started. All the staff hammed up the event and it just became even more of a party. In between snacking I got more stuff because I’m a nerd and tbh Scorpus’ wand is just as cute as Albus’ and I decided I needed a Voldy shirt too. (I also got two more plush fuzzy owls. One for my bestie, and one for his little brother.) During Intermission we got our free souvenir programs, the plastic cups, and I actually had more alcohol which is rare since I don’t really drink hardly ever because of my extreme reflux.

As soon as curtain call ended I told my friend’s brother we needed to high tail it to stage door because we were going to meet the cast. He had no objections, so we got in line and that queue was amazing. It was just a straight line and not a cluster and it was so calm. Some mum’s near us would pull out their programs and yell down the line who was coming which is very helpful because so many characters are in the show. When we were there, almost all the cast came out except for Jamie, the woman playing Hermione, I don’t think Rose came out, and sadly, Sam was not out. I did get to meet Antho, which I was really excited about.  Lol, I went to show him my shirt and he was like do you want me to sign it?? and I misheard and was like “Oh, no! I was showing you!” and oops. But no hard feelings. The gentleman playing Dumbledore was VERY talkative and had conversations with pretty much every person in line. My best friend’s brother is actually a HUGE Marauder’s fan, so he was upset after we realized Myrtle was ALSO Lily and declined the pictures, lol.

When the cast was done, my best friend showed up and we all went back to the hotel and saw the goodies he got from BOM (my favourite musical btw)

We found out a few days later that Jo was at the Sunday performance of the Cursed Child, and Monday the cast of Fantastic Beasts were on GMA which we were SO upset we missed. I would’ve high keyed out in the middle of Times Square at 3AM for a glimpse of Ezra Miller, lol.

Some tips if you’re seeing Cursed Child:

Arrive Early! This gives you PLENTY of time to look around the theater and buy merch & food. Trust me, the theater is WORTH exploring.

There is NO HP food there. I saw A LOT of people ask where the gummy slugs/chocolate frogs/butterbeer was. They can’t sell those there, as Universal owns the rights to those items. That being said, Cursed Child, Fantastic Beasts, and HP are 3 separate franchises, so you won’t find them intermixing.

You CAN bring food into the theater!! Drinks too!

If you have Lounge Access, you have your own bathroom. Trust me, that will save you a TON of time.

Part 2 Merch is only available during Part 2 or after Part 1.It is kept behind the counter so you can’t get it during normal shop hours.

There is no curtain call after part 1. House lights come up and thats the end. No cast come out after part 1 either.

Seeing it in 2 days isn’t as bad as one would think. I think I liked it better than I would have seeing it all in one day.

The playbills have recaps of important HP events crucial to the plot. This is helpful for anyone who hasn’t read the books in a long time, or isn’t super familiar with the story. (i.e not me or my best friend’s brother).

I think this is long enough, but if anyone has any questions about seeing the show in NYC I’ll be happy to help!

[chelseyroseblog]

PROPER REST TIME DEPENDING ON YOUR FITNESS GOALS

Hi beauties!

|All Photos Shot By www.rionoirland.com |

I would like to start this by saying that I am currently sitting in a coffee bean, SUCCESSFULLY ignoring my massive craving for a bagel with peanut butter right now…just pretending to enjoy this cappuccino with burnt milk, living my best life.

Also - listening to the new Kevin Abstract album, on repeat. Anyone else a fan? Ugh it’s so good.

ANYWAY - I want to talk about rest periods because there’s a lot of contradicting convos going on and I feel like it would help to just clear the air up a bit.

> I have a lot of clients say they want to get a bigger butt or sculpted arms but they don’t want to lift any weight.

> I have other clients who are so used to the quick fast paced environment of fitness classes that they tell me they don’t feel like they’re getting in a good workout unless they sweat a lot but they also don’t feel like they’re getting any stronger in their weekly classes.

> And I have other clients that I train online that just want to know how fast they should be going. How much rest is too much rest? How much rest is actually too LITTLE? What’s the benefit of longer or shorter rest periods?

WELLLL it all depends on your goals, but you can really think about it in 3 separate categories. Let’s start here:

STRENGTH TRAINING

Strength training of course means using weight but today it holds more meaning than just that. If your goal is to build strength faster, then your focus should be on doing strength training workouts. According to ASSM, if you’re looking to get stronger faster, then the best rest time for you is 3-5 minutes between sets.

Keep in mind though that if you’re doing proper “strength” training then you are doing 1-6 reps per set MEANING that you are using a weight that you can literally only lift between 1-6 times before failure. With that said, it’s pretty clear that whatever you’re doing is HARD and heavy af.

During this kind of training, your body uses phosphagens from your ATP system (Adenosine Triphosphate Phosphocreatine System) in order to produce energy VERY quickly without the use of Oxygen (less than 10 seconds).

BUT your body’s phosphagen reserve is like the shitty street light that everyone hates. It lasts for about 15 seconds then takes 3 minutes before it turns green again.

So we use up our reserve within that 15 seconds while we do our 1-6 reps and then if we wait the proper 3-5 minutes before we try to go again, then we’ll be able to lift more weight, and get stronger, faster.

According to Bodybuilding.com :

In one study, athletes lifted a weight more times in 3 sets after resting 3 minutes compared to when they rested only 1 minute (Kraemer, 1997). Another study showed a 7% increase in squat strength after 5 weeks of training with 3 minute rest periods.

The group that rested for 30 seconds only improved their squat by 2% (Robinson et al, 1995). Two more studies that examined very short rest periods (30 to 40 seconds) found they caused nowhere near the strength gains from longer rest periods (Kraemer et al, 1987; Kraemer, 1997)”

MY SUGGESTION:

If you’re looking to build strength in a specific area (like booty for example) then try adding one day a week of STRENGTH TRAINING. Try doing 5 sets of hip thrusts for 5-6 reps, then rest for 3-5 minutes before trying again.

Follow that up with some complimentary exercises like:

3 x 12 Romanian Dead Lifts

3 x 10 Goblet Squats

And then end with some band work and really chase the burn with:

3 x 30 band walks.

UNLESS - you are a beginner. If you are just getting into weight training then you might want to do a month of training where each exercise is done for a rep range of 10-15 to strengthen ligaments and avoid getting hurt.

2. HYPERTROPHY TRAINING:

Who’s heard of this one?!

Hypertrophy training is what you do when you want to get bigger, faster. The rep range for this type of training is typically anywhere from 6-12 reps.

The rest time for this kind of training is 1-2 minutes because this short rest period causes a greater release of anabolic (growth) hormones than longer rest periods. Resting for shorter periods of time also causes more of a burn in the muscles which I’m sure we’ve all experienced. This burn is the sign of lactic acid building up and the “pump” for lack of a better word, is the blood flow to that area, which is actually a great thing because where there’s quicker blood flow - there’s more protein being delivered to that area as well! Woooo!

I think hypertrophy training is my favorite kind of training. You might be thinking, well I don’t WANT to grow my muscles, and I don’t WANT to get BULKY. Fortunately for you, getting bulky is SUPER hard to do. You may think that your training is making you bulky but chances are, it’s your diet that’s throwing you off. Plus - we don’t have nearly enough testosterone to grow the way that men do.

Guys on average have 300 - 1,000 u/dL whereas females only have 30 - 90 u/dL. We’re like delicate little flowers lol and thinking that we’re going to get as bulky as men is like thinking a little flower can turn into a huge palm tree. It’s just not going to happen, unless you’re taking steroids…then, well…we know what that looks like.

True anabolism from hypertrophy training only last about 48 hours which is why for someone who wants to grow their ass, they need to be CONSISTENT and SHOW UP REGULARLY in order to see the kind of results they’re expecting. If you do hypertrophy training 1-2 times a week then don’t do it again for a week, your muscles are just in a maintenance phase rather than a growth phase.

MY SUGGESTION:

Do 2-3 days of hypertrophy training a week with your 1 day of strength training. I make sure to set my timer during rest periods to ensure that I get going again as soon as I need to… or else I end up getting distracted and taking 5 minute rest periods which is no bueno.

3. ENDURANCE TRAINING:

Endurance training is best for anyone who is looking to increase their muscular endurance. This is what most of us ladies are used to with all the classes that we typically attend. As a trainer I know that if I take a women through a endurance style workout that she’s most likely going to do a great job BUT if I were to take a man though the same kind of workout, it would kill them. Men don’t do as much endurance training as they do strength and hypertrophy.

Classic endurance training is when you use light weights for 15-20 reps and rest for 45 seconds to a minute between sets and it’s biggest purpose is to make your muscles more resistant to fatigue. If you want to start applying true endurance training to your workouts, try doing a 1:1 work to rest ratio or a 1:2.

So if you did the 1:1 ratio you would do for example, squats for 30 seconds then rest for 30 seconds. If you did the 1:2 ratio then you would do squats for 30 seconds then rest for 1 min.

MY SUGGESTION:

Add one day of endurance training to your weekly training regime!

So now you can see why if you’re someone like the old me, you’re wondering why your butt ins’t getting any bigger even though you’re going to Orange Theory and Barry’s every day.

Or maybe you can now see why going to Yoga and doing cycling a few times a week isn’t exactly getting you the toned look that you want.

As women we need to work on not being so afraid of the gym and of lifting weights. We don’t have NEARLY the same amount of testosterone that men do so we can get away with doing the “same” training as men and experience great results without looking like a man.

Also something to note is that you can’t spot reduce (burn fat in one particular area on your body) but you can build muscles in specific areas.

So for me, I might do 2 lower body hypertrophy days a week + 1 lower body strength training day and then I’ll do 1 upper body hypertrophy day + 1 full body endurance day.

My main focus isn’t to grow my arms but I never neglect them and I still use heavier weights than most women. I’d say my arms are strong and toned and not bulky. Before when I was using 2-5 pound dumbbells for my upper body, I had flabby arms. Now I curl with a 40 pound barbell, bench with 35’s, do overheads presses with 25 pounds, etc and my arms have done nothing but toned up.

Just try it and see how it benefits you!!

If you feel like you’re lost or would like some personal guidance in the gym, e-mail me at info@chelseyrosehealth.com to talk about your goals and get a personalized work out plan!

x

[basedonatruestory-official]

CHAPTER FIVE: FEEL MY T-SHIRT, IT’S MADE OF BOYFRIEND MATERIAL

“How was your first day?”

“It was great! We didn’t do much, it was a sort of presentation of the courses. Still, it was pretty exciting," my bag hits the floor as I walk inside my room.

“You’ll have to let me know your schedule so I can prepare lunch boxes for you,” my mom states while placing a dish on the kitchen table.

“Yeah, I still have to figure that out. I met a girl who is attending the same courses as me, so we’ll do that together,” I reply, sitting down to eat, “Bloody hell, no wonder I’m starving! It’s already 2.30 pm!”

I scroll through my social media as I chew on my food when a notification pops up on my screen:

BB: hey i’m on my break

BB: what r u doing

I immediately smile and reply to the texts.

You: Heeyyy I’m having lunch

You: guess who just got back from her first day at university (:

BB: omg how did it go?!

You: it was great! how’s work going?

BB: i’m exhausted :(

BB: i’m happy it went well btw

BB: met anyone?

You: actually yes! I sat next to a girl who turned out to be attending all the same courses as me

BB: lucky

BB: gtg back 2 work

You: alright talk later, love you

I finish eating and lie on my bed with my laptop. Noticing a new friend request, I click on it, seeing Shannon’s profile open up, and I accept. I activate my stalker mode and check out her recent photos; in her current profile picture, she’s smiling while laying on a green lawn. Not realising she’s online, I’m startled when she messages me about writing down our schedule together. Not that she would know I was spying on her profile. We text for almost an hour and I can already tell we’re going to get along. There’s also something about her that feels familiar, but I can’t put my finger on it.

Christmas break is drawing nearer and the first tests make all my classmates jittery, which is probably the reason why they’re all huddled up when Maggie and I step inside the classroom this morning. The room goes quiet and I catch Midge peeking at us when we sit down on our respective seats, along with most of the other girls.

“What’s up with them?” I ask Maggie, turning around.

She simply shrugs without meeting my eyes and I pause for a second, trying to figure out what’s going on. When I see that my friend has no intention of saying anything, I go back to facing the blackboard and start having a somewhat queasy feeling about all of it. Is Maggie’s radio silence related to the chatter from earlier?

It’s only after the first period that Beca stops me outside of the classroom and decides to let me in on the gossip of the day.

“They went on a date.”

“I’m sorry, who?” I ask while holding up one hand to let Maggie know I’ll catch up with her soon.

“Maggie and Jacob. That’s what everyone is talking about today.”

I blink a few times without saying anything. My mind is racing, as well as my heart. Beca must think I’m having a stroke.

After what feels like forever, I ask, “Are you sure?”

I pose the question in hopes it’s just a rumour.

“Pretty sure. Can’t see why it would be so exciting for other people, but I heard it clearly from Amanda.”

“Thanks.”

I stride across the hallways and quickly reach the lab where we’re about to start the second period. Maggie is waiting for me outside.

“A date? Really?” I don’t raise my voice - I never do - but my tone catches her off guard.

“Who told you?” She sighs after the initial surprise.

“Doesn’t matter. The question is, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why do you even care?”

“I thought boys were stupid.”

“Yeah, well, it’s none of your business.”

“Fine. Stupid of me to think we were friends.”

I storm inside without waiting for a reply, taking the first empty seat I find. Everyone’s eyes are on me - I can feel them - especially when Maggie gets in and sits on the opposite side of the room.

I manage to stay focused throughout the whole class and I even get a compliment from Miss Randall when I answer some of her questions.

•••

Spending lunch break alone is not new to me, but I’ve been eating with Maggie since school started and it feels very lonely now.

“Hi, Robin! Do you mind if we sit with you?”

Vanessa’s cheery voice startles me, coming up to my table from behind me.

“No, not at all.”

There’s a girl with her, I can’t remember her name even though she’s in class with us. At least I’m not alone anymore.

We begin to eat in silence after Vanessa murmurs “bon appetit” and I soon wish I was indeed alone because the atmosphere grows awkward very soon. I clear my throat and take a sip of water, then I ultimately decide to overcome my shyness and introduce myself.

“I don’t think we’ve met properly before, by the way. I’m Robin, nice to meet you.”

“I’m Katherine. I only know Vanessa really, we’ve been friends since nursery school.” She shakes my hand and then leans on Vanessa’s shoulder. That’s when they both start reminiscing about the fun afternoons they shared together when they were little girls; Katherine’s voice is the opposite of Vanessa’s, it makes its way to my eardrums and grates on them with its twang. Or maybe I’m just in a bad enough mood to be bothered by small things.

When I see Beca walking by, though, I call her over and invite her to sit with us. The awkward silence makes a comeback and I’m starting to lose hope - and patience - but it turns out to be short-lived. Sure enough, I spot a few seniors talking to some of our classmates and Beca seems to notice.

“Yeah, apparently Amanda is dating a senior,” she states in her usual toneless voice.

“How do you know that? You’re always so… quiet,” Katherine asks, and I can tell she’s trying not to be insensitive.

Beca shrugs, but I see right through her, She knows everything that happens around her precisely because she’s quiet. The quiet ones always know more than they let on. I know because I was like her, except for the poker face.

Shrieks suddenly drown out the low hum of the cafeteria and we turn towards their source, Amanda and her friends. Some people start gathering around the group, we look at each other briefly before joining them.

“Come on baby, tell them! Tell them what you just told me!” Amanda screeches.

“You didn’t hear it from me, but word has it that Mr Dwight and Miss Randall are in a relationship. Well, actually, you can say you heard it from me, got to maintain my reputation.”

All of a sudden, I feel less worried about all the exams I have yet to pass - if he did, so can I.

Everyone starts enthusing over the new scandal and, I have to admit, I find it funny myself; Mr Dwight looks like a middle-aged fuck boy and Miss Randall dresses like a sixteen-year-old, even though she’s almost fifty.

While everyone else is busy talking with each other, I notice in the corner of my eye two people arguing. It’s Maggie and Jacob. He keeps trying to get closer to her and she keeps backing away. Some guy interrupts my eye contact and I lose sight of Maggie, while Jacob is standing still with his hands in his pockets. I was so focused on them that I haven’t noticed how everyone else is moving hurriedly away from the cafeteria. Just as I was joining the others, I catch a glimpse of Maggie in the bathroom and decide to check on her. She’s standing at the sink and her face is wet; if she were wearing any makeup it would be completely ruined.

“Everything okay?”

“Yep,” she jumps slightly at my voice and replies shortly. I sigh as she walks out past me without looking up.

“What are you doing?”

It’s my turn to get scared, but I quickly relax when I see it’s just Beca.

“I was just… Never mind.”

“Are you coming?”

“Where?”

“The locker room. The seniors have spotted Mr Dwight and Miss Randall going inside.”

I nod and we catch up with the others; there must be at least eighty people swarming the gym, Maggie included. Most kids are trying to get closer to get a better look, but we’re all very careful not to make any noises.

Amanda’s boyfriend approaches the door and we all hold our breaths; he opens it abruptly and the scene in front of my eyes is something I will never forget. Miss Randall lets out a scream and covers her face - of all body parts you could have covered you choose your face? - while Mr Dwight recovers from the initial shock and shows us his most blinding smile. Pictures of Miss Randal’s naked, bent-over body are being taken and principal Paulstone is quick to arrive at the crime scene, dispersing the curious crowd.

The following day Maggie is still avoiding me and the situation is proving to be unbearable. Midge is all over Jacob during the first period, so I confront Maggie about it as soon as class ends.

“Maggie, wait!”

She stops and turns around, but doesn’t say anything.

“Look, I’m sorry. I overreacted yesterday. I felt hurt because you didn’t confide in me and I had to find out from Beca.”

“Beca? I thought that other girl told you, I can’t remember her name,” she chuckles. Seeing her relax makes me feel relieved.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, he was just being a little too persistent. We didn’t go on a date, by the way, he just showed up at my house with some flowers.”

“How does he know where you live?”

“A friend of his saw me when we went on the school trip.”

“Huh, creepy.”

“Yeah… I’m sorry I shut you out. Wanna come by my place this afternoon?”

“Sure, let me ask my mom.”

The rest of the day can’t pass any slower after my mom tells me I can go to Maggie’s, but we eventually find ourselves walking past the school gates.

“There should be no one home. Jasper is at soccer practice.”

“I think you mean football,” I grin and she looks at me as if she wants to look threatening, but I can tell she’s amused.

After getting home and certifying that no one is, in fact, home, I settle comfortably on the living room couch. Maggie seems to be having other plans though because she takes our bags to her room.

“C’mon, get up.”

“O-kay.”

“Come with me,” she says as she goes to the door.

“Shouldn’t we get our bags?”

“No, no. Leave ‘em.”

I’m about to retort that if we’re going out we should at least take our wallets with us, but I decide to trust Maggie and join her outside. She motions for me to follow her through an emergency door and up two flights of stairs, so I do. We get to another door, that she opens with her keys, and we are inside the building’s garrett. It’s dark and cold, but there’s some sunlight coming in from a small window at the end of the room. We reach the window and my friend uses her keys once again to unlock it, then hands them to me to open it. I’m looking around because attics and similar places have always creeped me out; when I turn back towards the window, Maggie is crouched outside of it and my eyes feel like they’re about to pop out of my skull.

“Here, gimme the keys.”

“I’m sorry, where are you standing right now?” I ask slightly worried. ‘Slightly’ because she seems to be doing great.

“Oh, right, you’re short,” knowing I get pissed off when people comment on my height, she grins.

“This window accesses the roof, which is where I’m standing.”

I stretch out my neck to try and see something more, but without success.

“You coming?”

“Yeah, just - Don’t make fun of me,” I try to look intimidating - ‘try’ being the keyword.

“I would never.”

I pull myself up and struggle with getting through, but Maggie helps me - while snickering, of course.

“I’m five feet tall, give me a break,” I state defensively while standing up.

“Yeah, yeah. Look around, grumpy pants.”

My breath catches in my throat at the sight before me; I can see the entire city and how the sun paints the buildings orange.

“Not bad, huh?”

“Wow.”

“Yeah… This is my place. I never take anyone here so you should feel pretty special,” she looks down and her hair covers her face in a way that doesn’t let me see her soft laugh.

“I do. Thank you,” I reply honestly, looking back at the skyline.

“I think that’s my house,” I point at some buildings I see in the distance.

We spend some time looking out for places we know, including our very close school, and eventually end up laying on our backs, gazing at the evening sky.

“I saw you were having lunch with Vanessa yesterday.”

Do I sense some jealousy?

“Yeah, she was with her friend, Katherine. They talked the whole time about how they spent their afternoons in nursery school.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, they’ve been friends for a long time, apparently.”

“And what did you say?”

“Nothing! I was just waiting for it to be over. I called over Beca in hopes she could provide some more interesting topics to discuss.”

“I bet that turned out great.”

“Ha ha.”

“Psst. Beca. You should have called me over.”

“Yeah, well, you were busy ignoring me and talking to your wannabe boyfriend.”

“Ugh, please don’t say that.”

“What? Boyfriend?”

“Yes.”

“Only if you stop calling me short.”

“Wait, you know I never meant to make fun of you.”

“Yes, I know.”

“In that case… deal.”

“Good.”

“I wouldn’t want an angry little Brit against me.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

•••

“Which way are you going?”

“That way.”

“Great, we can walk together then,” Shannon smiles warmly, “I’m actually meeting my boyfriend, but this is the way I would go to get home anyway,” she explains.

“Does he study?”

“No, he works nearby. We barely see each other because his shifts are crazy, so I try to go to his workplace as often as I can.”

Read on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/882264365-based-on-a-true-story-chapter-five-feel-my-t-shirt

[shaddy-bee]

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.

5 things on my to do list

FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))

5 things that make me happy

Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful.  Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.

5 things I’m (currently) into

Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.

5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)

I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio��s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it. 

Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.