#if only for curiosity’s sake

[boundinparchment]

“If There Is a Substitute For Love, It Is Memory…”

“…To memorize, then, is to restore intimacy." In which Il Dottore mourns. Inspired by a quote by poet Joseph Brodsky.

Reader is gender-neutral, referenced as being deceased. Contains grief, mourning, and the topic of death in general. Might eventually write a companion for this one. Also on AO3 here.

He considered preserving you, once upon a time.  Cryogenics were simple, although that wasn’t to say that a Segment with your consciousness was not an option.

But it was one you vehemently turned down every time he suggested it.  Your body, full of carbon and water and prone to breaking, was continuing to fail you anyway.  Why did you want to persist as flesh when he could remove the common factor of your suffering?

Why did you want to be a slave to fate?

Why did you want to leave him?

Didn’t you love him?

Of course you did, you said.  And that your time was limited made the moments together all the more precious .

For if there was no limit on time, what would be special?  What would be sacred?

He looked upon corpses thousands of times in his extended lifespan but seeing you still and stiff atop the built pyre broke something deep inside of him.  You only ever exuded life.  Bright, cheerful.  If he was a slow-burning star, churning on regardless of devastation, then you were brilliant like a diamond in the sun, your clarity only visible to those who dared to cast you into perfect circumstances.

To continue looking would ruin what he still held in the recesses of his mind but he could not ignore these final moments.

A book clutched to your chest, your fingers still stained with ink.  Every time you touched him, he thought of how your profession lived in your skin, in your veins, as if you lived and breathed the ink you committed to paper.  

Dottore touched the leather cover of the book, tracing the letters he helped you etch.

You read this one aloud to him.  A field of Zaytun Peaches and a friendly bee accompanied the two of you.  A confession wrapped in an allegory of words that were as carefully placed as an artist’s brushstrokes or a mechanic’s blueprint lines.

He had another copy, of course.  Not that he needed it.  He could recite that poem backwards and in at least four languages.

Gloved hands fixed that stupid strand of hair that never cooperated.  It was as stubborn as you.

Preserving your form would be a disservice in every way; it took every ounce of self-control to not listen to his Segments and his own burning pain.  In your place at his side was an echo of a shadow and whatever he saved would be the worst imitation of your likeness.

Funny, that you could do that: curb his curiosity that way.  A perfect opportunity to attempt to raise the dead and seek a solution and yet he did not want it.

Dottore stroked your cheek and pressed his lips to your cold forehead.  He flicked his fingers as he stepped back, sparks catching and finding sustenance on the dry kindling.  

He stayed until the moon’s glow revealed nothing but ash, your presence all but erased from the world.  Your words, your smile, your laugh remained etched in his heart: that he had you at all, for however short a time, gave him all he never needed.

[brucequeensteen]

i know ive been mean about sally rooney in the past but part of me has always wanted to like her so im so tempted to read her new book because then maybe i will FINALLY get it like maybe she will actually move me this time! but at the same time i dont care and i dont want to care id rather spend my time on other interesting books, books that i know appeal to me thematically and subject wise and that ive been recommended or whatever..... and yet. the sally rooney itch remains and i dont think it will go away until i actually enjoy one of her books

[sweetpumpkinmouse]

I still can’t get over that one fic of V and N torturing Lizzy, and Uzi is just trothing at the mouth from that.

Like, there was a moment where V went “I never liked her anyways,” and I started cackling like a madman. Because huh????

Plus all the times I was going, “THEY WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY/DO THAT!”

The worst part? THEY FUCKING RECORDED IT!

Like no, Uzi would not like that. No, she would not fucking do that.

No, V would not fucking say that.

N! What are you doing? Stop that!

What the fuck!!!

Anyways! Long story short: I came back flabbergasted and wrote a brief vague-post about it.

No, I am not making this up! I cannot make something like this up without being on flakka!

[cuteniaarts]

@katkastrofa, circa 40-ish hours ago: Hey, what if our newest bunch of OCs adopted a baby from one of the other brothel girls who knew she couldn’t afford to raise one? That would make for some fun shenanigans :D

Me, with a notoriously non existent sleep schedule, instinct of self preservation or concern for my poor wrist: Alright, bet. Watch how fast I can make you fall in love with this hypothetical baby >:)

Daneli as a gentle and loving caretaker-turned-adoptive-mother is something that can be So Personal, actually, and originally I was going to leave it at this quick sketch, but then I got carried away thinking about what this child will grow up to be like raised by this little gang of misfits, so…

Here she is!! A little older and so, so beautiful, I need more of her in my life immediately, she’s way too precious

And, because I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t also add a sapphic element to this absolute cinnamon roll, a small crack ship that I’m only half serious about for when she’s a little older still:

All in all, we may be getting impossibly far from canon, but I for one already cannot get enough of sweet darling Kumisai <3

(I fully drew three pieces from scratch in 9 hours I cannot feel my brain or my hands anymore send help)

[vellichorom]

ANOTHER RANDOM SPONTANEOUS POLL! because i'm genuinely curious what everyone else thinks after having seen a couple conflicting ideas about it, SO!

hatoful knowers & shuu enjoyers! in your opinion...

what do you like more?

[aria0fgold]

My dream gave me a mission and that's to find a manwha or manga with a muscular woman character. For some reason... Ever since I started playing Slay the Princess, my dreams became a MESS, it's like I'm dimension hopping all over the place, one moment I'm in a certain scenario and the next I'm in a different one. And it feels like I am living in an alternate reality again.

This time, the one scenario I can clearly remember is me being in school, and my teacher was handing out books. Then we got to talking bout our one classmate that's still absent cuz he got hospitalized for forcing himself to dance something he didn't like (cuz it was needed for a school project).

And then, a guy from the class next door came over to me and started asking me about that muscular woman character I was drawing. Which is, by the way, something that happened in one of the dream scenarios I had YESTERDAY. So that's crazy how it's kiiinda like a continuation of that. There even was a flashback moment for it too where dream me tried to remember what the guy was talking about.

She was flustered and was like: "What? I uhh... I don't know! I forgot her name! Why are you asking about that now it's been awhile since I last read the webcomic ahahahahaha! I'll uhh... I'll tell you her name tomorrow! I'll go check!"

And then the guy left and a classmate of mine went to ask bout it and she was like: "What was that about???" So then I went to sit close to her and started explaining while holding back laughter: "Actually... I wasn't drawing woman during then... I was drawing a guy but then a teacher was passing by so I was like Oh Shit! And just put a pair of circles on the character's chest!"

We both ended up laughing and she was holding my hand during then and so I woke up with a mission and the phantom feeling as if someone was indeed, holding my hands.

[the-ventriloquizt]

I just got sad that Peyton Riley is probably never gonna get a live action appearance :( I know she's treated more as a curio than anything, a fun Easter egg for the few people who know her, but i care about her

[bluntforcefem]

if you don't watch gdq, pick whichever one sounds the most intriguing to you!

[multicolour-ink]

I mean if you don't want to see anymore clips you can just stop watching them i mean there's only 3 weeks left right?

Yes you are correct. It was my conscious decision to see the clip, and I have to live with any regrets.

(I don't obviously - the brotherly angst is too much to resist ! 💖)

On the other hand...this was a clip that was shown during an interview on public television. Hundreds of people likely got exposed to this clip, and in turn anyone who wanted to avoid new footage is probably very upset right now...

It was a decision that the TV execs did, and I just feel bad for those who didn't want spoilers....

[sakizm]

i feel like my TRUE dream job would be a tour guide for my home state tbh

i met a tour guide in iceland (and stayed in touch via social media) and i loved how he was excited to show us all some hidden gems and talk about his home country and i’m like... “i want to do something like that for my home state”

but no one ever comes to nebraska!! only to the big cities and leave or worse - just drive thru or fly over the state cause it’s  b o r i n g

[repurposedmeatlocker]

What the hell is Don’t Worry, Darling even about?

[1tsjusty0u]

is the number of people whod like a siffrin makeship plush high and hypothetically how much would they be willing to spend on one on hypothetically from ebay <- genuinely curious

[kartsstuffig]

it beckons

[homocorn]

i would never buy something from a youtuber but i wish i knew someone who did bc reviews (from multiple unpaid people) on that waterbottle theyve all been pushing is "it either works for you or it doesnt" . which is not definitive enough for me. i need to try it myself

[officialgleamstar]

just for curiosity's sake, to any fic writers in the audience --

if you've done more than one, vote the lowest down option!

*not as in "i invented a trope", but as in "i was the first one in the transformers ao3 collection to write a tagged 'only one bed' fic"

(ao3 specifically used only because its so easy to search for this information, but if you were the first one to write a fic for anything on other sites, i'd also love to hear about that!)