#if its for adults? god forbid....no no no its just NORMAL ADULT ANXIETY for NORMAL NEUROTYPICAL ADUTLS

[whilomm]

okay listen stuff like weighted blankets and stim toys and whatnot becoming mainstream is good and all both bc it makes shit easier for nd ppl to access and bc nt ppl can be helped out by this shit too and all. but i just wish there was more RECOGNITION ya kno!! yea no im glad weighted blankets no longer cost $200 or require u to jump thru hoops to make one yourself like i had to (and still choose to bc my new weighted blanket is CUSTOM and PRETTY and COVERED IN BEES). but!!! they could at least say oh yea we got this idea from autistic ppl they had a good idea and turns out it works for a lotta other ppl too, everyone say thank you autistic ppl (thank you!!!). then maybe give money. i just think itd be cool ya kno.

[leggomylino]

S&M Act I, Scene I | Windstorm ༄

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Genre: Adventure, Drama, Comedy, Fluff, Angst

Pairing(s): Lee Minho x fem!reader x Kim Seungmin

Au: Wizard of Oz au

Word Count: ~2.6k

Warning(s): Minorly to moderately dark themes of suppression, depression, panic, and insanity. Mentioning of blood, dark magic, violence, and (censored) language. 

A/n: I’m so happy this story is finally coming to light! <3 Thank you to everyone behind the scenes who has supported me on the creation of this series, and to anyone who has ever supported my writing ever. ^^ I hope you enjoy!!! | Inspired by the events of Dorothy Must Die, by Danielle Paige.

Tag List: @hanniiesuckle17​ @distrikt9​ @hanstagrams​ @hyunsunq​ @smolboiseavey​ @jisungsjheekies​ @iluvlix​ @moonlit-han​ @stay-nctzen​ @yangomangos​ @stayndays​ @cotccotc​ @skzctnightnight​ @multi-stan-present​ @dreamy-dreamies​ @yunhoesss​ (Please let me know if you’d like to be added! Comment, ask, or DM me!!!)

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The dreams had been plaguing you for a while now.

“Y/n,” a boy’s voice spoke. “Y/n, always remember, and never forget. You must forgive, and never forget.”

“Remember what?” You’d cry out into the empty space. “Always remember what? What is it I’ve forgotten? Who is it I’m supposed to forgive?”

Alas, the empty space never told you anything. It was just a soft chuckle, the feeling of eyes lovingly watching you from somewhere far away, cloying and envious, and then, in the blink of an eye, it was gone.

~ ♕ ~

The rain pelting against your bedroom window that night had been harsh. You listened to the uproarious melody, now awake, lying in a pool of your own sweat, heart racing, wondering where you had come to and where you’d just been. It was always this way, taking time to cool down from such a feverishly swift and spiraling dream; although you were theoretically standing still in a vacant space, you felt the effects of falling as you arose.

The rain calmed you. Despite its intensity it was the one thing that gave you peace, something mentally stabilizing to cling onto and give full focus to as the echoes of a dream deferred vanished into the far recesses of your mind, where they’d be all but forgotten until the next evening. You didn’t know what you’d do when the stormy season was over-- it had already been unusual to have such a large mass of wacky weather one after the other this time of year-- and sure a ferrying rain shower or two was normal-- but you’d grown accustomed to running to the storm’s ferocity for guidance, a child’s blanket, a figurative teddy bear that you could squeeze against your thoughts when escaping the dream realm. The heavy downpour washed all of your fears and anxiety away. What would you do when it was all over, and Fall returned?

It had been so odd; with all the rain and fluctuating humidity, the flowers and Spring-Summer crops were in full bloom. You’d never experienced seasonal allergies in the Fall until now. Neither had your best friend, Hyunjin, and...speaking of… 

You hadn’t realized it was morning until Hyunjin came bursting into your room with one of your uncle’s chickens in his arm. It was still raining, hard, the droplets sounding like tiny fists pounding to come inside. Doubtful to let up anytime soon. “Y/n! Are you still auditioning for the role of Sleeping Beauty up here? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure Mia Harper’s got it covered, and Aunt Em’s gonna slide me your stack of pancakes in the next ten minutes if you don’t get your share of the chores done.”

A yawn escaped you. Hyunjin and his sidekick Kkami had been coming over to assist in your busy-hermit lifestyle ever since you could remember. He was your neighbor, after all, but...more on that later. The moment Hyunjin’s words soared beneath the backlash of bad weather, you’d completely forgotten what it was you’d just been thinking about, before the rain, what it was you’d dreamed. (Ever ironic how the dream had instructed you to remember, and yet, here you were, doomed to forget.) “Yeah, okay…” You yawned, stretching and easing yourself into the usual morning (sometimes afternoon) routine. You glanced at the chicken in his arms, and his subtle goofy smile in the doorway. “Is this your way of saying you’d rather have Pluckers as your lab partner instead of me?”

He shifted his eyes thoughtfully to Pluckers, watching him twitch and litter feathers like drops of rain before giving you his answer. “...I mean, that’s not a bad idea, actually. Have you even started your half of the worksheet yet?”

Ugh. Always about school. You wanted to tell him yes, but in all honesty you’d been spending your free time and late nights with your nose lodged between Harry Potter pages or your eyes plugged and gasping over YouTube storytimes. So you clamped your mouth shut.

And now, the backstory: Hyunjin had been your best friend for years. The two of you grew up next door to each other, which for country living was pretty dang far; having someone as your neighbor here was the same thing as having them live down the block. You’d never known your parents; you were adopted at a young age by your Aunt Em and Uncle Henry, who weren’t biologically related to you in any sense and just as good as any biological pair of adults. The details surrounding your DNA relatives-- and the year you’d come to live here-- were all unknown to you. The only story you’d ever gotten out of Aunt Em was that they’d had you from “knee-high” and that you couldn’t remember because of a nasty fall from one of Uncle Henry’s apple trees; Uncle Henry himself refused to speak of the subject at all, either pretending he needed hearing aids or choosing to run into the next room.

Hyunjin was your only friend in school. You’d never been very good in the communication department; growing up in a small town made your comfort zone the same. But not Hyunjin. He was popular and kind and got along with everyone. He had a gift for catching people’s eyes: every boy envied him, every girl drooled over him, and all your teachers and professors fawned and smiled and patted him on the back, even when he’d blurted out the “dog ate my homework” excuse in eighth grade and you proudly stood up and announced that he didn’t have a dog, disregarding Kkami, just for the amusement of finally seeing him choke and get scolded for once in his life. Instead you found yourself pouting with the Cone of Shame in silence while Hyunjin outrageously was given a star on the Good Noodle chart. It’d been the one moment to ruin your friendship for the remainder of class...until he gave you his Free Ice Cream ticket for PeachyKeen’s ice cream parlor downtown. Then, you were okay.

Even now, in your town’s small local college, he was applauded by all. The only person you’d ever seen frown his way was Uncle Henry, who often argued that a boy of his age shouldn’t be barging into a young lady’s room anymore. But Aunt Em always shrugged him off, quoting her famous “times change” saying and shoved a slice of pie before him, and he was back to watching TV.

A flash of lighting lit up the dim clouded sky, followed by the roar of thunder, and with a panicked squawk Pluckers shot out of Hyunjin’s arms, leaving a trail of feathers to follow down the hall. With a nervous look the two of you exchanged a nod before Hyun gave chase, closing the door behind him, and you got right to work getting ready for the day. It was Saturday, meaning no school, however there was still plenty of farmwork to do and the crops in the field weren’t going to protect themselves. Not from yesterday’s shower, and not from today’s.

You hustled downstairs with toothbrush hanging from your lips, dawned in your favorite plaid skirt and lime-green raincoat, the one with the little frog face over the left breast. Ruffling Kkami awake, Hyunjin’s “beloved baby,” you tossed her a treat from the clay jar you and Hyunjin had made together for her in sixth grade art, spinning and spitting in the kitchen sink. 

Aunt Em gave you a nervous look as you tossed the brush in the dishwasher and started aggressively inhaling cinnamon apple pancakes like a beloved Nintendo character. “...And how is my favorite girl this afternoon?” She asked. Her whimsical tone made your neck blush. 

“Sorry, I stayed up late studying again.”

“Studying the wizarding world of Hogwarts, you mean?”

“...Perhaps?”

You smiled apple bits and maple syrup, and she laughed, waving a dish towel at you and squinting the other way. “Keep your mouth closed until you're done. Didn’t I teach you better manners than that?”

“I dunno, did you?”

Her eyes bore into yours in warning and you laughed harder, nearly choking on the last bite of spiced apple goodness. Aunt Em sighed, shaking her head while wiping her hands clean. “I suppose I walked right into that one.” She nodded toward the side door, leading to the barn. “Hurry before the storm picks up. It’s gonna be another bad one, they say, so if the wind picks up anymore or it starts hailing or God forbid you see a giant funnel in the sky, I want the two of you right back inside, you hear?”

“Funnel cake?!” Uncle Henry called. He was glued to his usual pleather chair when he wasn’t out tending to the garden or the farm animals or fixing a leaky faucet. He was also in need of a hearing aid; working eight hours a day around screeching metals and brazen farm animals had left his eardrums in shambles. Aunt Em rolled her eyes, cupping her hands around her mouth. 

“Not cake, I’m talking about the weather!”

“It’s raining cake?!?”

She groaned, earning a chuckle from the two of you. It was cut short when Hyunjin came stumbling past, spitting out feathers and just in arms reach of a couple hens, Pluckers in the lead, signaling that brunch was over. “Thanks for the meal!” you said, shoving the plate forward. 

“Be careful!” Em’s voice bridged across the living room. “You two look out for one another! And hurry!”

“We will!” You shouted back. The sound of the door clicking shut was barely audible beneath the heavy thunks of raindrops slamming against the tin roof as the two (five?) of you ventured out into the stormy play. 

You wished then you would have taken just the sliver of a moment to look back.

~ ♕ ~

You’d never seen a flourishing of colors much like the one taking place outside. Turnips turning upwards, tulips banging heads, carrots and corn stalks exchanging blows before ending up on opposite sides of the field. Sunflowers having the sun beat out of them. It was something out of the rising action of a thriller movie. You’d seen similar scenes in nearly half the Harry Potter movies; the only thing missing were wizards and wands and perhaps a giant dragon.

“You round up Maribelle!” Hyunjin yelled over the storm. His arms were spread wide as he squinted and squatted through the blinding rain, ushering the rest of the chickens and hens inside the barn. “I’ll get the horses next!”

Nodding you ran through sloshing mud puddles and drowning fields of grain towards the feeding pasture, where dear old Maribelle the could be found, often grazing on weeds or spreading out for an afternoon sunbath. The lone cow of SunnySkies pastures for fifteen years, and the first to join the farm. Instead you found her darting bug eyes around wildly, her knobby limbs quivering beneath a willow tree that provided little protection, the willows only adding to the streams of precipitation pouring over her stiff brown fur. She gave you a frantic moo and bobbed her head in relief to see you. 

“There, there,” you soothed, whipping the grass and water from her eyes. “Quickly now, let’s get you into the barn before this picks up anymore.”

She moo-ed again, lower this time, giving you an argueless agreement.

You sledged hard against the rising winds, the blades of greenery that cut surprisingly sharp like razor blades, leaving a small mark upon your cheek. You winced, annoyed at the slight sting, the small drops of crimson that came up against your fingertips only to be washed away just as quickly. It began to rain harder, faster, the wind practically howling in your ears. The faint sounds of a freight train or some sort of heavy machinery filled the distance.

“Let’s hurry, now,” you encouraged your steed, pulling her along beside you. She was reluctant to move, frightened by the spiraling commotion around her. It didn’t help when something snapped beneath your feet, a twig, maybe, or some glass. As if on cue the willow tree came crashing down with a thud. 

You braced yourself, sucking in a sharp breath; you needed to get inside; but Maribelle had other plans. Startled, she ran a wayward direction, disappearing in the fog that was beginning to settle over the pasture. “Mari--!” you began to call, taking two steps forward-- ‘til the cries of another all but took your breath away, making you forget about Maribelle, making you forget about everything.

You stood, jaw slacked, slit-eyed, watching Hyunjin blow away. He wiggled in the fierce storm breeze like a flag pitched on the roof. “Y/N!!!” He screamed, clinging to the roof’s edge for dear life. “Y/N, GET INSIDE!!! CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!!!”

“HYUNJIN!” You bleated back. “HYUNJIN, HANG ON!!! I’M COMING!!!”

“NO, IT’S TOO DANGEROUS, GO-- AHHH!” He shrieked and ducked his head beneath a flying branch. “...GO INSIDE!!! CALL THE PRESIDENT!!!”

“I’m not calling the President,” you huffed, fighting your way across sideways weather and flyaway hairs to latch yourself onto the barn ladder. Of all the times to crack jokes, only Hyunjin would choose a raging level eight storm. “Hang on I’m coming…!”

...Your voice trailed off as your head listed aside, something bouncing in the corner of your eye. There, rounding the side of the barnhouse, was Kkami, frolicking like a happy-go-lucky lamb to Hyunjin’s side.

“Arf! Rwarf!”

“KKAMI?!?”

Your blood went cold. If Hyunjin caught wind of Kkami, it was all over. “Kkami!” you hissed, or at least tried to over the roaring ninety-miles-per-hour winds. “Go back inside! Go! Shoo!”

“IS THAT MY BABY DOWN THERE?!?!”

Oi. “N-NO, IT ISN’T! JUST A BRANCH!!!”

Ushering Kkami with a branch at least beneath the safety of the barn roof, you hustled back to the side of the building. The rain made it slick and hard to hold onto, but you scaled the side of the barnhouse as fast as possible, avoiding loose vegetation and swatting at leaves and smaller branches and once a lemon wedge that the storm must have torn in two somehow, crawling up loose shingles and various askew obstacles and then...then…

This was the hardest part to remember, a part you wish you didn’t have to remember. Face wet, hair whipping in the tempest breeze, you reached for Hyun’s hand, kneeling, pleading, focusing thoughts on hot cocoa and warm lemon pie inside, an Aunt Em specialty. The reality you were so certain in. A reality that would never come.

“Gotcha...!”

Your hands met, fingers touched, smiles of relief shared. But it only lasted a moment before the rainstorm ripped him away, your cries drowning in the funnel that appeared in the sky...or at least that’s how you wished to remember it: in reality there was a soft, whimpering arf!, followed by your best friend’s gasp as he relinquished your grasp to adhere himself to the skies after Kkami, now paddling against the storm’s current, cries of “My baby!” and anguished “AAAAH”s lost on the wind. 

And you could only watch him go, just seeing him manage to latch onto his beloved pet of nine-odd years before disappearing from sight, sucked into the giant magnetizing center of it all you’d completely failed to notice, the last thing from his lips a cry to your name. It’d appeared out of nowhere, substantial and vigorous. Pulling into the station, the train had arrived, uprooting and tearing apart everything in its path. A giant, swirling cloud of gray and gravel and doom.

Oddly enough, in that paralyzing moment, something clicked in the back of your mind: a cursory afterthought at the eye of the storm. 

“Always remember, and never forget. You must forgive, and never forget.”

You stared into the eye harder.

“Come home, Y/n. Come home.”

“Y/N!!!” Aunt Em’s frantic voice screeched below. “Y/N, HYUNJIN!!! Y/N?!?”

You couldn’t look. Couldn’t move. Horror froze you to the barn, eyes locked on the exact spot you last saw Hyunjin disappear, the trance calling you deeper and deeper into a strange petrifying submission, until the tornado whorled to your doorstep and swept you away; the pasture, the barn, your home. Everything.

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ღ S&M M.List | Stray Kids M.List | M.List ღ 

Smoke & Mirrors. Copyright © 2020 - 2021 poeticallyspaghetti.tumblr.com. Unauthorized use or reproduction of works is expressly prohibited. Do not repost, plagiarize, claim as your own, or translate my works. Thank you. <3

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

Alright, everyone, this is a personal post as much as it’s a public post so feel free to scroll all the way down to the  colored text for the public part of the message but if you, like me, enjoy drama, then continue on!

So, to make a very, very, very long story short for those who don’t know, I call my birth mother Mother Gothel due to her emotionally abusive upbringing of me that caused me to suffer from severe depression, anxiety, and even hair loss! A few years ago, back in 2016, my friend-turned-sister drove down with her mother, packed me and my bags up, and gave me a place to live and start over where I’ve been able to get jobs, go to school, and become much healthier than I used to be! 

During those years of growth and recovery, however, I kept in contact with Gothel through emails and the occasional phone call. Over the years, from the safety of being hundreds of miles away, I told her that I was gay and dating a girl. The resulting emails were not pleasant and she had no problems about calling my girlfriend a whore. Lovely, right? 

Every email she has sent me has contained detailed bible quotes and scripture and needles of guilt over everything I’m doing “wrong.” She’s still “so proud of me,” however. So at least there’s that, right? 

As of recently I emailed her and told her that I will be attending a four-year university in Tacoma Washington (moving away from Illinois) to continue my education. Her resulting email was lengthy. Here is some of it - cut for length.

Hi Michelle.

... 

You have to watch everything you say this day and time, at least that is what Jesus said in the Book of Matthew 5:37-- "Let your Yes be Yes, and let your No be No. Anything else is from the evil one." (anotherwords the devil will take your words you speak and trip and mess you up land you in jail or prison for 10 yrs)That would be really sad after you work so hard for an education and degrees then let him mess you up but read in John 10:10--the enemy comes to steal--kill--destroy--but Jesus said I have come so that you may have life and have it more abundantly.  That is why Jesus said in Proverbs 18:21" Life and death are in the power of the tongue"

...

I was telling Mom on the phone just this morning we talked for two hours-- that I was going to get a restaurant job here as soon as possible and let it move me out of here--I am moveing to Battle Creek or Marshall by Sept (labor day) and that I was sooo excited that I would finally get to see you, she said either her or Carl would drive me to [REDACTED] every now and then to see you. So Yes, I feel like a bomb was just dropped on me, my heart is broken, however I hope you will be happy and I wish you well in body and spirit-- I wish you nothing but the best. Just know one thing is for sure, I read my Bible and I will tell you right now, we are living in our last days you need to be concerned about where you are going to spend eternity. I just finished up reading the book of Matthew. In Matthew 21:25 The Heading Reads: "The Coming of the Son of Man" vs 25- And their will be signs in the Sun, the Moon, the Stars--mens hearts will fail them for fear and the expectation of those things which are coming on the earth, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken. vs 27--THEN they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with Power and Great Glory. Now when these things begin to happen, look up and list up your heads, because your redemption draws near". Jesus said He would give us signs in the Heavens above and the earth beaneath. All of the earthquakes that have been happening for the last decade leading up to the Austrailian wildfires, and billions of animals died, God is giving us the signs, its just like He said in Matthew 24:36-44. 

Lastly, 1 Thessalonians 4 :13--But I do not want you to be ignorant brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God wil bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from Heaven With A SHOUT--with the voice of an archangel, and with the Trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rist first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord, Therefore Comfort one another with these words.

After the Rapture, then comes the tribulation. I have read Revelation many times and to say the least you don't want to be left behind.  In Heaven their will be 30 mins of silence that is when all Hell breaks loose down here. Just whatever you do, Do NOT take the mark of the beast if you do, then you will mark your soul for eternal damnation. Then you will hear the devil say----"Hello! Welcome to Hell!

I am saying all of this bcuz now you have a choice to live for God or for Satan. If something should happen to your body or God forbid but if someone tries to take your life or you get in an accident and your heart is not right with God--That is exactly how you will stand at the Judgement Bar. The minute you take your last breath in this body, you will be ushered into the presence of God then it is too late to make a decision there it is if the Angel does not find your name in the Book of Life, then the devil stands there waiting to escourt you to------Well lets just say---You Don't want to go there. But the Bible says you will answer for every deed done in the body good and bad.I know one thing, it can't be too much longer according to scripture. The greatest tool the enemy uses from his toolbox is that you have plenty of time--well I can say the devil is a liar cuz Jesus just says--Be Ready it is not up to us how long we get to stay down here, that is God's calling.Second Timothy 3----But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of truth. 

Sister, we are living in our last days, make every day that God gives you breath in your body count bcuz you don't know when it will be your last day. There is pleasure in sin for a season--Hebrews 11:24. Whatever you do, don't let the devil take your life and your soul, it is not worth it.

Love You So Much and want to make sure your soul doesn't go to H---.  I am praying that you will have a preacher as a husband.I miss you Michelle, I miss hugging you, I miss walking up those stairs to bring your meals to you I would LOVE to hug you just one more time. That may or may not happen before He Returns ony God knows this.Please write me back when you can, you are always on my heart and mind. I have made mistakes while we were all living at 2414, I am so very sorry I pray that you forgive me if I have offended you please forgive me, I thought I had it all together. But now I see, I was just messed up and made lots of wrong choices, but God came along with His Holy broom and cleaned up my mess and said to move on. I am so glad when He forgives our sins, He forgets never no more to be remembered. All I can say is ---Thank-you Jesus.

...

Love You Forever my dearest Daughter and Friend.

This is the average email from her and I’ve been told that it’s not normal to receive emails this long talking about how she’s ‘devastated’ by my choices and how the world is going to end in hellfire soon. Please allow me, however, to show the email she immediately sent after the above.

[T]acoma is Washington's most dangerous city, with a violent crime rate of 953 incidents per 100,000 residents. While this is a relatively high rate — the 96th worst in the country — the city's incidence of property crime stands out even more. ... Indeed, the city had the country's 15th highest property crime rate in 2016

The overall crime rate in Tacoma is 138% higher than the national average. For every 100,000 people, there are 16.81 daily crimes that occur in Tacoma. Tacoma is safer than 3% of the cities in the United States. In Tacoma you have a 1 in 17 chance of becoming a victim of any crime.

Have you done the research for this city?They said Tacoma is the most violent city in Washington,I love you and want you to be happy. There are sooo many universities with the same opportunities.

How would you get around, does your friend drive? I did see how beautiful the area is but you just have to be careful I guess everywhere you go. 

As you can see, she immediately invalidates my choice - something I was very truly wonderfully excited about - and sends me a message that triggers my anxiety. I should note that she did not allow me out of the house without her even when I was an adult and over 18. If I went somewhere she had to be there with me.

Ah, but now we come to today and the email that spurred this post to creation. The above emails were sent two days ago and I have yet to respond. The email below was sent just today. 

Hi Michelle.

While I cannot apologize for what I said, It was not my intention to offend you in any way. I just went to google and typed in most dangerous city in the state of Washington and Tacoma popped up, that is out of 100 cities in the state.Okay, I know you say you have been there and all and you are no match for all of the evil there. God forbid, should something happen to you--you would be just another name and another number to them there is no much evil there they can't control it, I say to you just watch on a daily basis all of the crime that goes on in that sin city.

You better be praying about this cuz I don't think God would want you to put yourself in harms way--make a wiser choice, and God will bless you for it.Look at what happened to kobe bryant incident.... they met a very bad situation face to face and of course their was no way they could turn that around. My whole point of conversation.....sure you can do what you want bcuz you are an adult grown woman, but I would strongly advise you to pray to God about it and make a wise choice here, your life and future depends on right choices you make now.

What about University of Michigan in Ann Arbor or East Lansing University, Michigan University Kalamazoo, they are on the ten universities in Michigan. You need to reconsider your decision and think about your resourses you can get more help from family  bcuz I have all kinds of family up there and I will be up there soon. You are no match for Tacoma Washington. I only say this bcuz you are my daughter and I don't want something really bad come out of this just bcuz you are trying to get an education behind you--this calls for wise decisions.

You may never speak to me again, but I just want to inform you that you need to be very very cautious here.

Love You Forever.

... 

“You may never speak to me again.” 

...

This is the last email I have read from her and it will remain the last email I will ever read from her. I also will not be sending her any emails ever again because you know what? 

Her scared, anxious daughter Michelle Jean Anderson died and I’m what’s left - and I’m sick of her shit. 

So, hello, everybody! My name is Andy Alex Anderson and my pronouns are he/him (or they/them if you panic and forget) and it’s a pleasure to meet you! 

[kinda-ooc-just-a-little]

Heart of a lion

Chapter 2 Getting to Know You

Shinso x Reader

Rated M for Future Mature Themes (Not Explicit)

Tags: slow burn, mutual pining, secretive quirk

Summary: You never wanted to be a hero. You come from a long family of heroes, so why not just be a normal person? That’s what you hoped, until you re-connected with your old High School friend/crush.

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 /

The first day of school always left a sour taste in every student’s mouth. Especially yours, as you were completely out of your normal elements. UA always seemed like such a prestigious school that was way above your social circle and here you were, taking classes there. Not to mention no one you knew attended UA, not that there were any notable friends you made anyway. You released a sigh and walked into the entrance of the towering building, not missing a green haired student almost tripped onto his face, only to be saved by a girl who made him float so he didn’t dive right into the pavement.

At least I’m not the only nervous one here. You thought as you searched for your class. General Department class 1-C. Your stomach churned outside of the classroom as you willed yourself to open the door. Immediately you were introduced to faces you did not recognize. You sneaked in the room and sat in the only empty desk that weren’t bombarded with students: in the back corner by the window. You sat your stuff down and looked out the window. You started to regret your choice to graduate into this school. Was UA really the best place to go?

As you mulled over your decisions, you didn’t even notice the student with indigo hair that sat directly in front of you.

“Looks like you weren’t kidding when you said you would join me.”

Surprised and caught off guard by his sultry voice, you looked ahead to see your former and current classmate and he was… smiling? Grinning? Either way, you were sure you felt your heart skipped a beat… or maybe that was your anxiety. “Y-yeah! I finally decided to test my luck. I guess they liked me enough to accept me.”

You heard him hum to himself. “Well, they would be idiots not to.”

You were about to ask him what he meant by that, but the teacher entered the classroom before you could. Idiots not to accept you into the school? Or idiots to not like you?

Either way you were glad that you had at least one person to talk to. You can’t help but smile to yourself. It might be an interesting time at UA.

  You wished you had a quirk that made you disappear because gym was the worst. Even though you were in general studies, it seemed the school took the students’ health seriously, even the students who were not heroes. The gym teacher decided to test everyone’s strength and stamina because god forbid you have an easy first day. He challenged everyone in the class to keep running and to not stop moving for one whole lap, or the whole class had to take an extra lap. You didn’t want to be the sorry sucker with the whole class pointing daggers at you, so you were about to collapse when you hit the halfway mark. Your shins were on fire at this point and you were almost ready to give up.

“Come on, I know you got more in you.” You heard that same sultry voice next to you again.

“I don’t know,” you strained to talk. “I think being on everyone’s shit list… is a better option than dying.”

Shinso let out a small laugh. “I don’t think it’s that bad.”

“What? Being on everyone’s shit list or dying?”

“Dying. I don’t think anyone’s ever died from running too much.”

“Well, you’re about to see it.”

You made idle chatter with him like this, forgetting the pain in your body until you saw the finish line. You both finished at the same time and you couldn’t stop yourself from doubling over with your hands on your knees and let out a groan of pain.

“Please god don’t make me do that again.” You cried out to no one in particular.

Shinso walked up to you with a sly grin. “It’s only the first day and you’ve already had more than you can handle?”

“More than you know.” You took a deep breath and released. “Really regret doing nothing but eating chips and cuddling cats all summer.”

Before Shinso could speak, the gym teacher walked up to you and placed a firm hand on your shoulder. “Which is why we need warmups like this! So, you can get your body into tip-top shape for the year!”

This is what you call a warmup?! You screamed in your head; very sure the rest of the class thought the same.

“Come on students! Let’s do some cool down exercises in the gym!”

The entire class groaned and followed the teacher. You stayed behind to catch your breath, noticing Shinso had not left yet. “You don’t have to wait for me you know. I need a minute.”

“I’m not going to the gym.” He simply said and walked in the opposite direction.

You looked at him with confusion. Where is he going?

He stopped and turned to you. “You want to come with?” He asked in a monotone voice.

You weighed your options. Follow a student you barely knew, or, finish dying off with the rest of class in the gym, who are also students you barely knew. You decided that you did not want to die today. You straightened yourself out and followed Shinso to the furthest fence that lead into a forest. He climbed on top of it and offers a hand. You pout and climbed it yourself and threw your leg over the fence and jumped down.

“I can do at least this.” You smugly said to him.

“Really? I thought you said you were dying.” He said as he jumped down to join you.

You followed him through the trees of the forest. “Only temporarily. It was a temporary dying.”

He snickered and you couldn’t help but grin. He has the cutest smile and laugh.

You both weaved through the forest and you started to feel your heart drop the deeper you both traveled into the forest. You didn’t know if it was because you were skipping class, or you were following Shinso into the middle of no-where, but the eerie croaking of the forest unnerved you. Not to mention Shinso could easily make you do anything and have you forget…

No. You were not like those assholes who assumed he was a bad person. Still, you couldn’t help but be on guard. You tried to make light conversation. “Man, I hope this isn’t a part of some convoluted plan to kill me in the middle of no-where.”

“Not unless you like being killed by fluffy lint balls with claws.”

You gave him a quizzical look, but quickly understood when you suddenly heard little meows from a multitude of cats. In the middle of this forest someone built a little shelter that housed two adult cats and two little kittens. You heart clenched at the sight as Shinso walked toward them slowly.

“Hello, Jack and Jill. Kitten and Mitten.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out two cans of cat food. He opened them and gently pushed it toward the family.

“Jack and Jill? Kitten and Mitten?” You questioned from a distance. You didn’t know how the parent cats would respond to you, so you kept your distance.

“I’m not that original, I know.” He responded as he scratched one of the cat’s ear.

“I think it’s cute.” You responded as you walked forward slowly to not to disturb their feeding time. “How long have they been here?”

“Since spring. I found them when I came here to put in my application. It was raining almost every day, so I managed to get my hands on this little house. Been feeding them since then.” They finished eating and immediately started to rub on Shinso leg.

“I can see they’re already used to you.” You said.

“Yeah, I come and feed them a lot, even though they can hunt for small animals.” He looked toward you. “You want to pet them?”

You give him an unsure look.

“Sorry, I just assumed you liked cats when you said you cuddled one all summer.”

He wasn’t wrong but you and felines had a very odd relationship. You looked toward the two adult cats, who were obviously on guard. You thought you might as well try.

You kneeled on your legs and leaned down gently, lowering your eyes.

Shinso observed your actions curiously.

You slowly reach out your hand toward both the adult cats and let them both sniff you a little bit to let them get familiar with your scent. Soon enough, both adults started to rub against your hand to let you pet them.

“Amazing.” Shinso said. “It took giving them shelter and food for them to even think of giving me a chance.”

“Well, me and cats have a pretty peculiar relationship. They either love me or hate me.” You said as the mom cat sat on your lap. “Although, they’re probably only accepting me because they trust you.”

“I hope so. I really like them.”

If only your middle school class could have seen him now. How could someone who so desperately wanted the approval of a bunch of kittens be a villain? You laughed a bit.

“Something funny?” He questioned.

“Nothing, just…” you wondered if it would be appropriate to bring up. “I never understood why our class automatically labeled you as a villain when I’m pretty sure you never did anything wrong.”

He observed the little kittens as they wrestled each other. “It comes with the quirk. People can’t help it, especially when its mind control. Villains give it a bad reputation.”

You felt sorry for him. He’s had to deal with this ridicule most of his life, no doubt being misunderstood simply because of his quirk. If it were irritating when they mocked him in class, you could only imagine what it must have been like his whole life.

“They just fear what they don’t know.” You said as you gently pat the cat in your lap. “And they’re idiots because they don’t know you.”

“You don’t know me either.”

“I would like to.” You didn’t know what possessed you to say something so bold. Maybe because it was a tender moment or because you wanted to tell him this for a while.

Shinso looked away with a slight blush on his face. “Not sure why you would want to but… thank you.”

You both grew silent the next few minutes. You couldn’t tell if it was an awkward or normal moment, but you enjoyed his presence none-the-less. You hoped he felt that way too.

After a few more minutes you both agreed to head back to the classroom. You said your goodbyes to the cat family and started to head back, noticing that Shinso kept glancing at you.

“Like what you see?” You smirked at him.

Shinso turned his head away looking embarrassed. “Nothing, it’s just… I don’t understand why you would want to get to know me. You’ve heard what they say.”

“I’m not one to judge a book by it’s cover.” You answered. “I would like to know someone before I can judge them.”

He said nothing else as you both got back, just in time to see that the class just ended, and students filing into the locker rooms.

“I’ll see you back in class.” You waved to him goodbye.

“Yeah.” He responded as he entered the boy’s locker room.

You walked inside and started to change into your normal school cloths. You wished this wasn’t the first or last time you got to hang out with Shinso, and you hoped he thought the same.

[macbookpro-hard-drive]

HI HOW DO YOU WRITE CHARACTERS

hewwo! i can answer this! im literally gonna do a quick list of both deh and bmc characters for u under this readmore! :D

im gonna start with deh because smaller cast!

evan: 

isn’t so much stuttery as he tends to repeat things and uh stammer a bit here and there. stutters over his words sometimes but it’s more l-like this and uh, like… like this

evan hansen has anxiety. he is not anxiety. evan hansen fucks up and makes mistakes and probably internalizes a lot of things. very polite when in public but he can be a bit snappy (as seen w evans comment abt how zoe’s parents have never been poor i believe? it was something he said to zoe)

soft spoken, most of the time. probably not the kind of guy to vocally ask for things until he’s at a comfortable enough point that he feels like he’s not bothering you (same buddy)

i see evan as someone who gets frustrated with himself easily. not as a sense of “god i wish i were normal” but more of a “i should be able to do this, why cant i do this, i want to do this but i cant” because sometimes it’s just a matter of i literally cant do this and i dont know why? and god its so frustrating sometimes

jared:

jared kleinman is a fucking asshole and he knows it. very sarcastic and uses it to cover up his own insecurities, probably the kind of dude who laughs in your face when you tell him off when internally he’s just OH FUCK OH SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK

a lot of ppl write jared as being insecure abt his weight and tbh i don’t see that being a problem for him? i see jared as being insecure abt the fact he comes off very snarky and assholeish but he turns it around and tries to own it even though… that’s not something you want to be proud of? and he knows that

not the kind of dude who stops to assess his feelings. he powers through shit and insists he’s okay until he’s out of steam. i think it was psy who said he’s a “needs therapy boi” and tbh she’s right? 

can be very passive aggressive imo it’s something he really needs to work on.

arrogant, sarcastic, and just a big fucking dick who needs to learn how to watch his mouth.

zoe:

not an pure baby angel, by any means. we’re at a disadvantage because we only see zoe when she’s sort of grieving (because grief can and will come in different ways, and while i see her as not missing connor, i do think that her pushing away her feelings is a form of her grieving imo? it’s a weird thing to explain but there’s a part of zoe that does miss (the old) connor’s presence as w the fake emails evan “gave her her brother back” (albeit a very fake version of connor) and sort of standoffish when it comes to the subject of connor

a bit of an ambivert. extremely outgoing when she’s around her friends or when it comes to music and other things she loves.

very individualistic! her style tends to have doodles on her clothes, she dyes her hair a lot, she probably would be the kind of person to make her own jewelry!

very sweet. the castng call for zoe describes her as being the kind of person who learns the names of the kids who sit alone at lunch and thats she goes out of her way to be nice to people since. connor. yeah.

thats all ive got for zoe but u can always send questions in and i can say yes or no after i ask my pals too

alana:

smart gal! valedictorian! president! i love her! tends to overshare a bit. anxiety + depression gal.

probably into gardening tbh? i can see alana having succulents in her room and maybe a dog that just chills with her.

dont be afraid to make alana mouthy. alana is someone whos extremely headstrong in her actions imo and does what she believes is right, even if others dont believe that. like… think about the fact that she literally published what was believed to be connor’s suicide note because she thought it’d get them the last bit of help they needed for the orchard. it literally fucked the murphys over - but she never considered that?

very much an extrovert. just really wants to belong, man. very optimistic on the surface but i can see her being a little less so underneath. she looks on the bright side because if she doesnt, she doesnt know who will and idk i dont think alana’s the kind of person who just... lets that risk be there.

connor:

we dont kno much abt connor in canon but uhhh…. i can see connor as being a loner, sort of aggressive by accident (tbh this dude’s probably used to people being a dick to him so he’s just sorta standoffish in response) but like… whenever i write connor i usually write him as getting better? he’s gotten the help he needs and he’s doin better 

artsy depressed dude. poetry, painting, ect - whatever u want tbh. i just see connor, with help, finding himself in art or something creative (theatre and music included! u do u!)

very much a reader. this dude both has a lot of books on his bookshelf and a lot more books he hasnt fucking read because hes terrible at reading new books. (i personally hc he loves all of poe’s work)

to sorta sum connor up: bold, but not outgoing. caring, but not obvious with it (once he gets help btw). easily angered but sometimes he just doesn’t fucking know why and that frustrates him further. troubled.

honestly if u want to see one of my fave connors - check out @ask-sincerely-memes​! i rly love how they portray all three of the boys, but connor is by far my favorite! (mod con and/or mod ev if u read this i love u)

OK ONTO THE BMC FUCKERS if you want to kno abt the adults for either show then feel free to ask

jeremy:

anxiety boy, but not evan hansen level of anxiety. more just… self deprecating, not super confident in himself, probably underestimates himself a lot.

jeremys hard to explain sometimes because a lot of his actions and dialogue comes naturally since i can actually relate to jeremy a lot, personality-wise? a really good fact to throw out there is i don’t think jeremy’s the kind of guy who just goes for stuff sometimes. he has to sorta be hyped up by others imo. michael motivated him to sign up for the play, rich and michael both played parts in getting him squipped (michael in the aspect of “lets check this out and see if its legit” bc i doubt jeremy would have genuinely done that on his own).

which really means jeremy isnt the kind of guy to just… confess things, unless it’s built up enough (i.e. jeremys confrontation w reader in unlonely since it was a conversation he’d been thinking about for a bit). in canon, he didnt really… confess to christine without the help of alcohol (at the halloween party) or without other people building him up (voices in my head). 

im literally rereading jeremy fics rn because im trying to come up with a good way of describing him

extremely horny teenage boy. hormones suck. for anyone who writes nsfw: i dont see jeremy being incredibly kinky and sexual and dominant (god forbid) his first fucking time having sex. especially if its both him and the readers first time. sex can be clumsy. you can laugh during sex. but also sex smells. like… once you’ve smelled it, you fucking know it - its just a weird combo of sweat and bodily fluids. 

that last part was just a PSA for ppl.

lightweight boy. a lot bolder when drunk. thank you.

honestly if u have any questions abt jeremy, i can try to answer them more specifically but this is as general as i can get.

michael

not an uwu anxious depressed innocent baby boy uwu. remember that michael literally withheld the mtn dew red from jeremy because he wanted an apology. remember that michael wouldnt have been squipped because michael had been completely comfortable with who he is. michael likes his place. he doesn’t want to be cool and popular - he likes who he is. michael in the bathroom was a peak moment of michael finally letting go of emotions he’d been withholding - jeremy calling him a “loser” was the final straw that broke him. thank u this has been a psa.

a goofy boy. probably snorts when he laughs and im not projecting there what are you talking about-

okay, canonically: likes video games, likes retro shit (probably the kind of nerd who LIVES for arcades and record stores and vintage clothing stores even if he doesnt mix that into his personal style), very into music. there’s a lot you can do with this! 

imo he’s very caring? like. okay, yes he did withhold mtn dew red from jeremy - but michael still went through the trouble of finding and obtaining that in order to deactivate the squip. i think michael’s a fairly understanding dude, even if he has moments of anger.

just a very warm person. probably the kind of person who stops and makes sure people are okay when he notices they’re upset.

sometimes impulsive. sometimes very restless, imo. bouncy boy. 

like w jeremy - you can absolutely send me questions abt michael (or anyone tbh!) and i’ll answer them the best i can! im by no means an expert but ive got pals i can bother in order to help get a solid answer :3

christine

chriiistiiiiiiiiine, the love of my life. a gal w ADD! please don’t forget that! i personally hc that she got into a theatre as a way of like… sort of getting energy out since she’s fairly restless??? track girl christine….. also good

loves herself a lot tbh! like. in the show, its canon that she has stuff to figure out but i personally think christine loves herself and her body and is proud of who she is?

very friendly, very open, very passionate abt theatre! these are basic facts lmao

very sweet! very smart! she’s like... The Girl in all the movies that everyones like “oh no i love her” bc shes just a bubbly gal

writing christine is really hard to describe sometimes. like with all the characters, i write what feels right and sounds right to me and to others.

but like... to be honest, as long as you stay a bit happy and supportive and loving with christine - you’re on the right track.

jake

god - one of my favorite boys to write sometimes because there’s a lot to do with jake’s character

he’s the ultimate cool dude in high school. probably the kind of dude who would join a frat in college. handsome, popular, flirtatious - you fucking name it man.

sorta effortlessly popular and cool. there’s problems underneath - considering his family - but it’s hard to see that he has flaws when everything just comes so easily to him.

a very caring and sweet dude tbh. his friends mean a lot to him and he’s the kind of boy who carries your books and asks where you’re going and how you’re doing

he makes mistakes. he gets aggressive and protective and just angry physically - he did try to attack jeremy, albeit drunk, based purely on the idea that jeremy was having sex w chloe - so like... that’s a good thing to acknowledge

i said hes flirtatious and he is - without realizing it. someone probably has called him out on it and he’s like “sorry what?” bc he was caught up in talking to someone and not realizing that the dillinger charm never went off. because it never goes off. rip.

rich

GOD, my FAVORITE BOY, the LOVE OF MY LIFE, i love him.

squipped: aggressive. a bully. stinky. 0/10.

post-squipcident: getting better. sorta numb at first before happy, outgoing rich resurfaces because He’s Fine! Do Not Worry! but y’know like... he definitely has a lot of problems with what he did and who he was while he had the squip

a bit sensitive imo. easily upset on certain topics, easily angered on others. really misses his mom (i hc she died and his dad took up drinking as a coping mechanism and its mainly rich and his older brother relying on each other but thats just me tbh.)

rich is tricky to write when it comes to his home life. while i see rich’s dad as being a loud drunk, others see him as being physically abusive and so forth and - okay, that’s your decision, but please make sure you’re being respectful and you post trigger warnings because some people are in abusive homes and it’s not a fun thing to read. 

great sense of humor imo. flirtatious but in the more obvious “haha hey lets bone ;)” way. alternatively: flirtatious with squip, floundering a bit without it because all he knows is “haha hey wanna fuck” 

would probably fight a dick for his pals. rly just loves his friends even if he doesn’t show it.

chloe

chloe is a bit hard to write without saying “shes kind of a bitch” but like... she is and she knows it and she fucking owns it.

casting call: “ confident, crass, sexy, manipulative, and downright mean at times”

so like. she’s nowhere near bein a sweet angel baby uwu

has problems. explore them. she literally was down to fuck brooke’s boyfriend since jeremy was dating brooke yknow. part of it could be alcohol but like... dont ignore that fact. like. she probs needs to talk to both brooke and jeremy.

i think of chloe as someone who can see the potential in others tbh. gets slightly annoyed when people arent achieving what they could - but i like to imagine she gets it after a while since some ppl dont have confidence and such. 

yknow the kind of people that take charge when the situation calls for it? that’s chloe. she’s very much a leader. cunning, ambitious - she’s fucking ready.

brooke

more of an angel i guess? sweet, a bit insecure, and a little more caring. not very dominant in situations - tends to be more of a follower (as shown w her and chloe’s friendship)

very caring actually. she literally followed jeremy out and said “uhhh he was kind of a dick to women but i know u like eminem” upon his death in the show??? like??? she literally went to check on this boy.

imo she sorta needs to learn to be bolder. to not take shit. shes probably the kind of person who says yes to a lot of things even if they’re conflicting bc she doesn’t want to like... bother someone and make things worse

emotional, imo. fairly feminine.

its hard to keep describing sdfkjhds sorry

jenna

not popular. remember that she wanted people to be interested in her, which is why she gossips a lot

probably tends to overhear half of the gossip. other than that, i can see her easily finding shit out bc she has eyes Everywhere

bold, fairly extroverted, probably really fucking smart tbh. give her love. she deserves it.

thats both at me and everyone else. jenna rolan ily...

very much a big sister figure, post-squipcident. theres this kdrama i was watching where the main protag lives w a couple other girls and one of the oldest one of the bunch is very much a big sister figure that will call other people out on their bullshit because she knows protag isnt the kind of person to do that? thats jenna. and chloe, but mostly jenna.

probably the kind of person who wants to be helpful imo. she likes feeling useful.

[tumblunni]

Okay the BIG TODAY THING

It seems i might possibly be gone for six months

I've been talking with my support worker about taking a course at this place thats uhh apparantly gonna help me get better with the depressions and stuff. And we had a meeting to go look around the place and make introductions and stuff but i had NO IDEA it would be all such short notice! I might have to move in IN TWO DAYS FROM NOW, what the fuck!!! And like if its not that its gonna be at the end of the week or next tuesday at the latest. Im so fuckin unprepared and im really freakin out!!

..uhh...how to describe it..well i guess its literally a mental asylum? But it's absolutely NOTHING like the horror movie stereotype! Its not a hospital with cages or locked rooms, its just like a big comfy cute shared house. Like a bunch of completely normal small apartment rooms but they just happen to be all connected to a shared kitchen and stuff and have on site nurses and a big schedule of therapy sessions and group activities like pottery class or bowling. You have the freedom to come and go as you please if you're on "voluntarily admitted" status (that's me!) and even if you're on what they call "sectioned" its still not scary loss of all your freedom. The highest level of sectioning is just like "requires an escort"? You're still allowed to go outside but you have a higher level of supervision from your key worker because you could potentially be a danger to yourself. But that's very rare and most people are only on maximum sectioning for a few weeks at the start of their treatment, if they've come straight from a situation of self harm or other concern factors. Most of the "sectioned" patients just have a time limit on how long they can spend on unsupervised outside activity. It's a pretty generous 8 hours apparantly!

So yeah i was getting worried about nothing, thinking i was gonna be in big scary solitary confinement and locked inside a tiny broom closet or jabbed with brain lazers. It honestly just seems like a summer camp resort for adults! And everyone there seems very nice, and im excited for being able to learn life skills like cooking and potential steps towards getting educational qualifications someday. And to have the help of a more specialist support worker who can assist me with even the smallest little problems. Like this nice lady Tazmin (who might be the one i get?) was saying how they've had other people with social anxiety before, and how we could plan "gradual exposure" to all the things that scare me. Like she said she'd be able to come with me and we'd take the bus and them get off at the next stop. That'd honestly be really helpful to help me get over being scared of the crowded spaces on buses, but i'd never be able to do it normally cos i'd be too embarassed taking such a short bus ride. Plus well itd be a waste of money,but if i'm a patient here i would get a free bus pass so it wouldnt be a problem.

Oh and the area seems really nice! Its so different from my stupid house right now in a crowded neighbourhood with NOTHING but houses everywhere for a mile! Its seriously almost a mile's walk to the ONE SINGULAR SHOP IN THE AREA and they close on sundays and dont sell vegetarian food. :( This area around the shared house thingie is a really nice bustling shops place but not super shops? Like i mean its a lovely village that has all the small shops you need, not a huge skyscrapers busy tourist place. The perfect balance of conveinient and not scary! They have a library and a park so close to the place, and a bazillion charity shops holy FUCK im so excited to have charity shops again!! I think you call them thrift shops in america? But i just always really love bargain hunting and finding nice surprises in places like that! And there's places to do pottery classes and group trips sometimes to do stuff like cinema or bowling or just having your big ol scary therapy meeting at the nice coffee shop at the end ot the road.

So yeah dont worry about me guys, im not trapped in some horribke hell place! I'm sure it'll be as non threatening as an Intensive Therapy Boot Camp can possibly be, im just still nervous as hell cos well yeah I Have Social Anxiety And That Is Why I Am Here In The First Place. Im scared im not gonna be able to succeed at this. I really wanna leave at the end and be all mentally buffed up and ready to make all these nice nurses proud!

Oh and man Richard has been so nice about this?? He was super freaked out and apologetic about it being Scary Short Notice, we had a bit of a dumb misunderstanding where he clearly told me and i clearly said yes but i somehow completely misunderstood what he was saying and thought i was saying yes to something else??? So im so fuckin glad that at the very end of the appointment right when i was gonna get out the car he was like 'oh so remember your suitcase on wednesday' and i was like WHAT. Like man can you imagine how much more terrifying it would have been if i just turned up on wednesday with no supplies but the shirt off my back and was like 'wtf where is he driving me OH GOD NO'. Bunni why you so bad at the good of talking!! Seriously richard thanks so much for clearing it up but also AAAAA i accidentally agreed to the shortest of short notice and i dont know if he's gonna be able to reschedule it!!!

And man i was there crying in his car about how i dont wanna be in hospital on my birthday, and babbling all the different things i had planned fot the next few months. And GOD DAMN MY DUMB BRAIN i ended up blurting out that i had a preorder of a videogame that i was gonna miss. And i straight up started explaining pokemon to my mental health counseller who is also a dj, how damn fake does my life sound?? Anyway he said that i'll still be able to keep him as my support worker when i get back out of this, and we'll still have weekly or monthly meetings while i'm in there. And he keeps reminding me that i'm free to leave if i feel uncomfortable, but i know that i'd feel like a failure if i did! So he legit fuckin goddamn said (THIS SOUNDS SO FAKE) that i could take a day off when the dumb game comes out, and he'd play co op pokemon with me. HOLY GEEZUS RICHARD YOU'RE LIKE THAT HOLY GRAIL OF THERAPISTS! And man he even said it wasnt embarassing for me to sleep with a teddy bear and he'd help me pack it up safe and ensure nobody saw it while we move my bags into my new room. And then i was like "uhh but also the teddy bear is a giant lifesize embarassing pokemon merchandise" and he was like "okay so we need DOUBLE STEALTH". Apparantly the new sequel to Pokemon Go is Pokemon Sneak! God he helped calm me down from this freakout so much, he's always great with lil jokes and motivational sayings. And i talked about how i first started being interested in Obscure Deep Sea Slug Facts because pokemon has some characters based on weird real life animals, and like its Very Educational Honest, And Has Appeal For Both Kids And Adults. How on earth did this turn into Motovational Pokemon Blabber Time??? Anyway thats how i ended up texting a professional psychologist pictures of gastrodon at 7.30pm.

SO

Yeah

In summary

I'm mostly just worried cos this is short notice! And cos its such a big commitment that being short notice is Super Bad. I need to friggin clean the whole house top to bottom in two days, so it doesnt get all gross and attract flies while im gone. And i need to toss out like a hundred bucks worth of frozen food that aint gonna keep for 6 months. And i need to wash all my damn clothes. And i dont even have a suitcase and this is at a terrible time where i dont get paid for a week so i cant buy a new one right now!! And damn i DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO TAKE AAAAAA

And the BIGGEST PROBLEM

Is that i wont be able to talk to you guys for half a year!!!

They dont have wifi and im not allowed to take my computer anyway. They only allow laptops and all i have is a desktop and AAAA its too short notice to save up enough to get a laptop mannnnn! Fuck man i didnt even think about that, i need to go pause my broadband internet for six months, do they even allow you to come back after that long?? And man part of me wants to ask to borrow money from friends to get a laptop but i know this time i cant promise to pay you back within the month cos AAAGH ALL OF THIS SHIT!! Like damn man if anyone is willing to let me pay back a hundred and fifty quid in 6 months??not bloody likely!! And man the only place to get a laptop in TWO GODDAMN DAYS is stupid fuckin Amazon :( but god im gonna go stir crazy being unable to do art or gamemaking or friggin anything to occupy myself!! I can bring my 3ds but i barely have any games for it and ive already finished all of them except harvest moon a new beginning which i quit cos it was bad. And the screen is broken anyway gahhh. SO MANY THINGS I NEED MONEY FOR IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME THAT IS NON CONDUCTIVE TO MONEYING

So anyway GAHH i wont have an internet connection in the house, and i'll be able to walk down the hill and use the library computers hopefully at least weekly, but they forbid all social media sites. So like can i get the emails of everyone who wants to keep in contact? Man i dont know how im gonna manage this AAAAA!!! i will send u loads of pics of scenic asylum beauty and dumb updates on my stupid life of probably very little progress.

And AGGGHHH i dont even have the time to plan a blog queue or anything fuck man geez aaaaaaaa

I NEED TO BUY A NEW PAIR OF TROUSERS WITHOUT HOLES IN THE KNEES man i cant live on singular pantage in a shared house

[reomanet]

Why are our kids so miserable? — Quartz

Why are our kids so miserable? — Quartz

Reuters/Vincent West Hold on. A SAD STATE Why are our kids so miserable? By Jenny Anderson March 21, 2016 “Something in modern life is undermining mental health,” Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University, wrote in a recent paper . Specifically, something is undermining young people’s mental health, especially girls. In her paper, Twenge looks at four studies covering 7 million people, ranging from teens to adults in the US. Among her findings: high school students in the 2010s were twice as likely to see a professional for mental health issues than those in the 1980s; more teens struggled to remember things in 2010-2012 compared to the earlier period; and 73% more reported trouble sleeping compared to their peers in the 1980s. These so-called “somatic” or “of-the-body” symptoms strongly predict depression. “It indicates a lot of suffering,” Twenge told Quartz. It’s not just high school students. College students also feel more overwhelmed; student health centers are in higher demand for bad breakups or mediocre grades, issues that previously did not drive college kids to seek professional help. While the number of kids who reported feeling depressed spiked in the 1980s and 1990s, it started to fall after 2008. It has started rising again: Kids are being diagnosed with higher levels of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and everyone aged 6-18 is seeking more mental health services, and more medication. The trend is not a uniquely American phenomenon: In the UK , the number of teenagers (15-16) with depression nearly doubled between the 1980s and the 2000s and a recent survey found British 15-year-olds were among the least happy teenagers in the world (those in Poland and Macedonia were the only ones who were more unhappy). “We would like to think of history as progress, but if progress is measured in the mental health and happiness of young people, then we have been going backward at least since the early 1950s,” Peter Gray, a psychologist and professor at Boston College, wrote in Psychology Today . What’s going on? Researchers have a raft of explanations for why kids are so stressed out, from a breakdown in family and community relationships, to the rise of technology and increased academic stakes and competition. Inequality is rising and poverty is debilitating. Twenge has observed a notable shift away from internal, or intrinsic goals, which one can control, toward extrinsic ones, which are set by the world, and which are increasingly unforgiving. Gray has another theory: kids aren’t learning critical life-coping skills because they never get to play anymore. “Children today are less free than they have ever been,” he told Quartz. And that lack of freedom has exacted a dramatic toll, he says. “My hypothesis is that the generational increases in externality, extrinsic goals, anxiety, and depression are all caused largely by the decline, over that same period, in opportunities for free play and the increased time and weight given to schooling,” he wrote. What’s so great about play? If play seems trivial, it’s not. Play is brain-building for babies and young children. There is a sequence of how children develop, from the moral and emotional to the social and intellectual, says Dr. Ellen Littman, a clinical psychologist and co-author of Understanding Girls with AD/HD. Each phase requires building certain muscles, whether to do math, or make a friend. “There is a developmental sequence and you can’t violate it all that much ,” Littman told Quartz . For example, circle time in preschool is not about learning the alphabet or mastering Old MacDonald as much as it is learning to be part of a group, mastering the art of taking turns, and starting to listen. But preschool is increasingly about preparing kids for kindergarten, which itself used to be about play, but now operates more like first grade . Kids are expected to sit for longer and focus on more academic tasks, relegating play to recess. According to Daphna Bassok, an assistant professor of education and public policy at the University of Virginia, in 1998, 30% of teachers believed that children should learn to read while in kindergarten. In 2010, that figure was at 80%. “They can do math in first grade, but they are not attuned to subtle social cues,” Littman says. “They are not developing the normal skills that come from interacting with play, including how to manage their emotions.” Gray agrees. Playing—unstructured time, with rules set by the kids (no adults acting as referee)—is how kids learn independence, problem-solving, social cues, and bravery. Now, parents jump in to to solve the playground kerfuffle, spot with eagle eyes the dangers of tall trees and steep hills, and fail to let kids have any independence for fear they will be abducted or hit by a car. “Where do children learn to control their own lives? When adults aren’t around to do it for you,” he said. “If you don’t have the opportunity to experience life on your own, to deal with the stressors of life, to learn in this context of play where you are free to fail, the world is a scary place,” he say. Beyond play Not everyone buys the play explanation. Twenge, whose latest book is Generation Me , notes that it is impossible to scientifically test whether the lack of play, or anything else, causes these problems: we can observe correlation, but not causation. She sees many potential factors contributing to the rise in symptoms and reported feelings of depression: a rise in broken relationships, such as divorce, a shift away from intrinsic to extrinsic goals, which can lead to a sense of not being able to control things, and higher expectations. The percentage of people who expect to get graduate and professional degrees, for example, has surged as have the number of people who aspire to secure a professional job. But the numbers of people getting these degrees and jobs has stayed flat. “Expectations have risen, but reality has stayed the same,” she told Quartz. She also refutes many popular explanations for why kids are increasingly stressed out. She does not believe the rise in anxiety and depression is due solely to more awareness about it. More kids are reporting huge increases in symptoms that predict depression, like inability to focus or trouble sleeping, without reporting an increase in feeling depressed. “People don’t even know these symptoms indicate depression, but they are reporting more of them,” she said. Many others blame technology for addling our brains. It is hard to imagine that it has not had some impact due to its pervasiveness and addictiveness. But Twenge says the data indicate anxiety and depression started rising long before SnapChat kidnapped our kids. “These increases started long before cell phones were in common use,” she said. Look in the mirror Parenting plays its part too. Some parents aren’t involved enough; others border on the obsessive. More work, meaning kids are in adult-led extra curricular activities, or home on the computer. But psychologists say it’s not the absence of overworked parents that is causing the problem, but how we parent when we are home. “We are enabling children to an extent to which they are almost helpless,” says Littman. “I have to stop parents from calling college professors to change their college grade,” she said. Maybe driven by love, or perhaps a sense of paranoia, some parents are veering toward micro-managing our kids’ every mini-success (while extolling the virtues of failure ). We help with the science project , edit the college essay, advocate for the better grade, and apologize on the playground when little Lucy won’t share the way we grown-ups think she should share. We set lots of rules for our kids, and wonder why they can’t set their own. Parents also play a critical role in setting those high expectations. At the upper end of the socioeconomic spectrum, we may be too evolved to push them toward the Ivy League, but we certainly want them to try their hardest—at everything: school, music, soccer, piano, judo, street dance. We say it’s not all about winning, but celebrate wining in spades. We encourage kids to find a passion—maybe for them, maybe for the college application—and do anything to make sure they are not sitting at home on their phones, or—god forbid, feeling bored. A new way forward Gray says all is not lost. The first line of attack is to recognize there is a problem. “Parents and educators need to understand that free play is not optional,” he says. “It’s essential to their healthy development.” He suggests ratcheting back organized, adult-led activities, and facilitating more open-ended ones where kids set the rules and parents play a less dominant role. One (lofty) idea: get schools to open in the afternoons with monitors, but not organized activities. He wants a shorter school year, which won’t go over well with those hell-bent on raising America’s weak academic standards, and a ban on homework for young kids. “ All of this school is doing more harm than good,” he said. Parents can of course try to set reasonable expectations. Many parents scramble for a tutor at the first sign that their child is struggling . But maybe that struggle is okay, and maybe not every kid is going to be good at every subject. Colleges are starting to take measures —albeit small ones—to de-escalate the college admissions arms race, which parents and educators should support (high schools tend to blame colleges, or parents, for why they push kids so hard; parents blame schools, and so on). Like many things in life, intentionality is key. If we want our kids to play and have some freedom, we have to plan how to do it (yes, it has come to that). Facilitating time and space has to be a pre-meditated act, like signing up for soccer, or posting your daughter’s Girl Scout cookie sales target on Facebook. It won’t be easy. But if we believe that our kids’ mental health is at stake, we should certainly give it a try. Tags college , healthcare , depression , anxiety , ADHD

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[thelmabeaver]

Common Mistakes Made By First Time Parents

Common Mistakes Made by First Time Parents

Being a first time parent is, to say the least, nerve wrecking for many because of its new terrain and most people have no clue what to expect. Be that as it may, most first time parents are excited about their new roles. They definitely want to do the best for their baby, in spite of the challenges they know they will face. Sometimes, despite only wanting the best and despite all the good intentions they may have, new born parents still end up making mistakes. There is a first time for everything, they say. Well, definitely. And that includes making booboos while trying to pass Parenting 101. There is nothing to feel embarrassed about, if you happen to be one of those parents who don’t quite have a firm grasp on being a parent yet. Very few people come out unscathed during their first time as parents. Everyone has made a booboo or two… or 10. These are some of the mistakes common to first time parents and tips on dealing with them.

Having unnecessary anxiety

People have been having and raising babies since time immemorial, but for some reason many new parent panics unnecessarily. This causes them to sweat the small stuff like a simple cough or a rash and even worrying that the child is not crying enough. While it is true that real health challenges and serious ailments may call for concern and worry, healthy babies have been known to exhibit different types of symptoms like colic and diarrhea. You need to let go a little bit and learn to relax. You cannot control everything. Know that spitting up and vomiting are few of the things a baby does, though admittedly they are a bit scary. Do not, however, be overly anxious since babies can pick up on your anxiety.

Yes, being a new parent can become too worrisome. With that said, you should also accept that raising a child should be a positive experience. Being anxious over every little thing will get in the way of you enjoying your baby’s first months. Babies are actually tougher than we give them credit for.

Bottom line is that, once you have taken care of yourself through the pregnancy and once the baby is born, all you really need to do and all you really can do is give them food, shelter, clothing and all the loving. They should be fine. They cry here and there, but as long as you take care of the basics, they grow like weeds; the best thing is to concentrate on spending time with them and enjoying this period of their lives because it goes by so fast.

Underestimating the power of routines

Being home with an infant is no easy task. Sure, it looked easy when other people did it. It is not. It is more akin to getting a new job except you have a smaller human as a boss. Probably more demanding, too. The key here is not to overestimate your free time. If you are a first time parent, you need to set a routine and follow it religiously. This will help you and your baby tremendously. Babies are strongly influenced by the environment around them, and a daily routine will greatly affect how well you manage them. They are creatures of habit and routines make them feel secure, which translates to fewer problems, such as crying or not eating, for you.

Remember that a baby does not simply fit into your old life. You have to carve out an entirely new life, now that you have a baby. Setting a routine and schedule will help you feel as if you still have some level of control. The routine will also help you as a new parent to cope with the challenges of parenthood with ease because you will have fewer issues to deal with, and more time to spend with your spouse or by yourself recharging.

Foregoing your happiness and your relationship

This brings us to the next mistake, forgetting about your needs and those of your partner. It is truly challenging to transition from a carefree life with just you and your partner to a completely new life where you become both responsible for the life of your baby. Marital troubles are bound to arise. Stress that could put tension on your relationship is normal. But your marriage should not take a backseat in your life. You have to make it a priority along with taking good care of your baby. Staying connected as a couple in your partnership is very important.

Any weakness in your relationship can easily be amplified when there is a child involved. You have to be able to maintain your partnership. Babies can pick up on the negativity. Make a habit out of focusing on each other, as well. You both need to nurture each other so that life does not become mechanical and that you can maintain happiness in your relationship. A happy person will make a good parent. Make sure to make some time for you and your partner at least once a week, without the baby. Spend quality time together. Don’t shut each other out. Share the load of being parents. Let your partner do his part without hovering and being overly critical.

The fact is, babies need their parents to get along. Even if you are a single parent he/she needs to know that the people around him/her are getting along. For some reason, they pick up on negative vibes and this makes them irritable. Handling your relationships well is not only suitable for you, but for your baby, as well. It’s common for partners to neglect each other at this time, but this is wrong as it is the time when you need each other the most in order to enjoy the birth of your child and get through any rough patches with ease.

Listening to others and ignoring your instincts

This is your child, and they have a unique connection to you that instinctively helps you to nurture them in the way that is best for them. A classic parenting mistake is going to the wrong places for parenting advice. Many first time parents suppress their instincts and listen to the people around them excessively. This is wrong because each child is different. Your child won’t behave like that of another because you mimic their parenting style. Do not compare your baby’s development with that of others. Every baby has his own pace.

Expected milestones from developmental charts are merely averages and as long as your baby is within the normal range, do not fret too much about it. Learn to take criticism and advice with a pinch of salt and concentrate on knowing your child and how to relate to them. Do not believe everything you hear. Everyone in your life who has had a baby will naturally want to offer you an advice or two. Thank them graciously for their offering but keep in mind that the only option that really matters is what your instinct tells you. If you follow each advice that everyone else is giving you, you will be taking away from yourself the chance to fully explore what probably will be the most creative role that you would ever have in your life.

Read all you can about babies and listen to advice from others, but make decisions based on your baby and your parental instincts. This will save you a lot of anxiety and unnecessary action. Instead of consulting other parents, try reading up on general medical care for babies on WebMD.com and the American Academy of Pediatrics instead. These are reputable sources that can come in useful when you are making decisions about the proper childcare for your baby.​

Not getting enough rest

It is pretty common to mistake staying up while the baby is asleep to do other chores as a good thing. Maybe even industrious. It is so hard to resist finishing all those chores when you finally have your hands free. There always seems so many things to do. According to studies, new parents suffer a loss of 400 to 750 hours of sleep during the first 12 months of their baby. That is a lot. If you don’t get enough rest, you will soon find yourself so exhausted that you are dropping a plate or two when you are cleaning up. God forbid you drop the baby. Get enough rest. Snooze daily while your baby is resting. On the weekends, do take a long nap to be able to properly recuperate. Do not underestimate the power of sleep. When you are well rested, you are energized enough to actually enjoy what should be one of the happiest time in your life.

Failing to stick to a budget

As new parents, it is quite easy to lose one’s ground when it comes to wanting to provide everything for the baby. An average of $6200 is how much a baby will cost you in his first year. That is $6200 worth of clothes, food, diaper, strollers, furniture and all the other baby essentials. Going inside a local baby store can leave your checkbook significantly thinner than when you came in. When going shopping, be sure to take along with you an experienced parent who can show you the ins and outs of buying only what your baby actually needs. Minimize the desire to shop for cute baby clothes that they will outgrow in days. Skip on the numerous toys that are tempting to purchase. They will be happily contented with just one. It is best to save your money for the future of your baby, like his college tuition for instance.

Not taking enough souvenirs

Your baby will go through a number of milestones, and while you are honest to goodness sure that you will never forget each moment, odds are, you will. Watching a baby grow is like watching the world go by in time-lapse. It goes by quickly, and in a flurry. One day when your baby has grown into a young adult, you would want to look back on his infancy. Luckily, these days, keeping track of your baby’s milestones isn’t that difficult. With all the technology and social media that let us document any given moment in our lives, preserving cherishable moments have never been easier.

Neglecting your baby’s oral health

Most parents make the mistake of not thinking about their newborn baby’s oral health until it is too late. It is never too early to get your baby started on good oral health habits. Just because he doesn’t have any teeth yet does not mean his oral health does not need any taking care of. Before bedtime, wipe down your baby’s gums with a wet gauze. Once your baby turns 1 year of age, you may start introducing him to the concept of brushing his teeth with a toothbrush. Once your baby’s milk teeth have started growing, avoid feeding him in bed or risk the development of cavities, which are also known as baby bottle decay. Be sure to provide your baby enough fluoride. You may ask your child’s dentist about getting supplements in case you do not have access to fluoridated water.

Panicking when your baby is crying

Crying is the primary form of communication for babies. Crying is how they communicate to us, and it does not always have to mean that there is something wrong that we need to fix. Babies still cry even when they have already been fed and when their diapers have already been changed. Sometimes, they just need to cry it out and you just need to let them do it. Do worry when your baby has been inconsolable for more than an hour and is accompanied by a fever or rash. That would be the time to go and consult your doctor.

Waking your baby from sleep just to breastfeed

While breastfeeding is indeed the best for babies, one common mistake of new parents is being too strict about it. Yes, it is good that your baby is breastfed. No, it is not okay to wake him up from sleep just to feed him. Let him sleep through the night, as we all should. You might be thinking that breast milk might not be thick enough to keep the baby full through the night. It is a common misconception. If it isn’t, the baby will let you know. Meanwhile, let us agree that both breastfed babies and mommies can sleep through the night.

Originally posted 2013-11-10 09:40:42.

The post Common Mistakes Made By First Time Parents appeared first on ParentsNeed.

Common Mistakes Made By First Time Parents published first on http://parentsneed.tumblr.com/

[michellegputz]

Common Mistakes Made By First Time Parents

Common Mistakes Made by First Time Parents

Being a first time parent is, to say the least, nerve wrecking for many because of its new terrain and most people have no clue what to expect. Be that as it may, most first time parents are excited about their new roles. They definitely want to do the best for their baby, in spite of the challenges they know they will face. Sometimes, despite only wanting the best and despite all the good intentions they may have, new born parents still end up making mistakes. There is a first time for everything, they say. Well, definitely. And that includes making booboos while trying to pass Parenting 101. There is nothing to feel embarrassed about, if you happen to be one of those parents who don’t quite have a firm grasp on being a parent yet. Very few people come out unscathed during their first time as parents. Everyone has made a booboo or two… or 10. These are some of the mistakes common to first time parents and tips on dealing with them.

Having unnecessary anxiety

People have been having and raising babies since time immemorial, but for some reason many new parent panics unnecessarily. This causes them to sweat the small stuff like a simple cough or a rash and even worrying that the child is not crying enough. While it is true that real health challenges and serious ailments may call for concern and worry, healthy babies have been known to exhibit different types of symptoms like colic and diarrhea. You need to let go a little bit and learn to relax. You cannot control everything. Know that spitting up and vomiting are few of the things a baby does, though admittedly they are a bit scary. Do not, however, be overly anxious since babies can pick up on your anxiety.

Yes, being a new parent can become too worrisome. With that said, you should also accept that raising a child should be a positive experience. Being anxious over every little thing will get in the way of you enjoying your baby’s first months. Babies are actually tougher than we give them credit for.

Bottom line is that, once you have taken care of yourself through the pregnancy and once the baby is born, all you really need to do and all you really can do is give them food, shelter, clothing and all the loving. They should be fine. They cry here and there, but as long as you take care of the basics, they grow like weeds; the best thing is to concentrate on spending time with them and enjoying this period of their lives because it goes by so fast.

Underestimating the power of routines

Being home with an infant is no easy task. Sure, it looked easy when other people did it. It is not. It is more akin to getting a new job except you have a smaller human as a boss. Probably more demanding, too. The key here is not to overestimate your free time. If you are a first time parent, you need to set a routine and follow it religiously. This will help you and your baby tremendously. Babies are strongly influenced by the environment around them, and a daily routine will greatly affect how well you manage them. They are creatures of habit and routines make them feel secure, which translates to fewer problems, such as crying or not eating, for you.

Remember that a baby does not simply fit into your old life. You have to carve out an entirely new life, now that you have a baby. Setting a routine and schedule will help you feel as if you still have some level of control. The routine will also help you as a new parent to cope with the challenges of parenthood with ease because you will have fewer issues to deal with, and more time to spend with your spouse or by yourself recharging.

Foregoing your happiness and your relationship

This brings us to the next mistake, forgetting about your needs and those of your partner. It is truly challenging to transition from a carefree life with just you and your partner to a completely new life where you become both responsible for the life of your baby. Marital troubles are bound to arise. Stress that could put tension on your relationship is normal. But your marriage should not take a backseat in your life. You have to make it a priority along with taking good care of your baby. Staying connected as a couple in your partnership is very important.

Any weakness in your relationship can easily be amplified when there is a child involved. You have to be able to maintain your partnership. Babies can pick up on the negativity. Make a habit out of focusing on each other, as well. You both need to nurture each other so that life does not become mechanical and that you can maintain happiness in your relationship. A happy person will make a good parent. Make sure to make some time for you and your partner at least once a week, without the baby. Spend quality time together. Don’t shut each other out. Share the load of being parents. Let your partner do his part without hovering and being overly critical.

The fact is, babies need their parents to get along. Even if you are a single parent he/she needs to know that the people around him/her are getting along. For some reason, they pick up on negative vibes and this makes them irritable. Handling your relationships well is not only suitable for you, but for your baby, as well. It’s common for partners to neglect each other at this time, but this is wrong as it is the time when you need each other the most in order to enjoy the birth of your child and get through any rough patches with ease.

Listening to others and ignoring your instincts

This is your child, and they have a unique connection to you that instinctively helps you to nurture them in the way that is best for them. A classic parenting mistake is going to the wrong places for parenting advice. Many first time parents suppress their instincts and listen to the people around them excessively. This is wrong because each child is different. Your child won’t behave like that of another because you mimic their parenting style. Do not compare your baby’s development with that of others. Every baby has his own pace.

Expected milestones from developmental charts are merely averages and as long as your baby is within the normal range, do not fret too much about it. Learn to take criticism and advice with a pinch of salt and concentrate on knowing your child and how to relate to them. Do not believe everything you hear. Everyone in your life who has had a baby will naturally want to offer you an advice or two. Thank them graciously for their offering but keep in mind that the only option that really matters is what your instinct tells you. If you follow each advice that everyone else is giving you, you will be taking away from yourself the chance to fully explore what probably will be the most creative role that you would ever have in your life.

Read all you can about babies and listen to advice from others, but make decisions based on your baby and your parental instincts. This will save you a lot of anxiety and unnecessary action. Instead of consulting other parents, try reading up on general medical care for babies on WebMD.com and the American Academy of Pediatrics instead. These are reputable sources that can come in useful when you are making decisions about the proper childcare for your baby.​

Not getting enough rest

It is pretty common to mistake staying up while the baby is asleep to do other chores as a good thing. Maybe even industrious. It is so hard to resist finishing all those chores when you finally have your hands free. There always seems so many things to do. According to studies, new parents suffer a loss of 400 to 750 hours of sleep during the first 12 months of their baby. That is a lot. If you don’t get enough rest, you will soon find yourself so exhausted that you are dropping a plate or two when you are cleaning up. God forbid you drop the baby. Get enough rest. Snooze daily while your baby is resting. On the weekends, do take a long nap to be able to properly recuperate. Do not underestimate the power of sleep. When you are well rested, you are energized enough to actually enjoy what should be one of the happiest time in your life.

Failing to stick to a budget

As new parents, it is quite easy to lose one’s ground when it comes to wanting to provide everything for the baby. An average of $6200 is how much a baby will cost you in his first year. That is $6200 worth of clothes, food, diaper, strollers, furniture and all the other baby essentials. Going inside a local baby store can leave your checkbook significantly thinner than when you came in. When going shopping, be sure to take along with you an experienced parent who can show you the ins and outs of buying only what your baby actually needs. Minimize the desire to shop for cute baby clothes that they will outgrow in days. Skip on the numerous toys that are tempting to purchase. They will be happily contented with just one. It is best to save your money for the future of your baby, like his college tuition for instance.

Not taking enough souvenirs

Your baby will go through a number of milestones, and while you are honest to goodness sure that you will never forget each moment, odds are, you will. Watching a baby grow is like watching the world go by in time-lapse. It goes by quickly, and in a flurry. One day when your baby has grown into a young adult, you would want to look back on his infancy. Luckily, these days, keeping track of your baby’s milestones isn’t that difficult. With all the technology and social media that let us document any given moment in our lives, preserving cherishable moments have never been easier.

Neglecting your baby’s oral health

Most parents make the mistake of not thinking about their newborn baby’s oral health until it is too late. It is never too early to get your baby started on good oral health habits. Just because he doesn’t have any teeth yet does not mean his oral health does not need any taking care of. Before bedtime, wipe down your baby’s gums with a wet gauze. Once your baby turns 1 year of age, you may start introducing him to the concept of brushing his teeth with a toothbrush. Once your baby’s milk teeth have started growing, avoid feeding him in bed or risk the development of cavities, which are also known as baby bottle decay. Be sure to provide your baby enough fluoride. You may ask your child’s dentist about getting supplements in case you do not have access to fluoridated water.

Panicking when your baby is crying

Crying is the primary form of communication for babies. Crying is how they communicate to us, and it does not always have to mean that there is something wrong that we need to fix. Babies still cry even when they have already been fed and when their diapers have already been changed. Sometimes, they just need to cry it out and you just need to let them do it. Do worry when your baby has been inconsolable for more than an hour and is accompanied by a fever or rash. That would be the time to go and consult your doctor.

Waking your baby from sleep just to breastfeed

While breastfeeding is indeed the best for babies, one common mistake of new parents is being too strict about it. Yes, it is good that your baby is breastfed. No, it is not okay to wake him up from sleep just to feed him. Let him sleep through the night, as we all should. You might be thinking that breast milk might not be thick enough to keep the baby full through the night. It is a common misconception. If it isn’t, the baby will let you know. Meanwhile, let us agree that both breastfed babies and mommies can sleep through the night.

Originally posted 2013-11-10 09:40:42.

The post Common Mistakes Made By First Time Parents appeared first on ParentsNeed.

Common Mistakes Made By First Time Parents published first on https://parentsneedblog.wordpress.com/