#if i feel up to it i might have to arrange it myself but agh

[doctorwhoisadhd]

you know?? donnas theme would make a great concert band piece

[notesonartistry]

🐢:

What happens is that, at the end of August I started a new job and I am very happy but I was hired by project, initially for 3 months and if it progresses / they like my performance I will continue. The first few weeks were great and I was able to have back to back review meetings with my boss but by mid September a coworker quit and there were some problems. I was also asked to do other things and I did them with my best will but I feel like they took priority away from what I was doing. Last Friday after about 2 weeks I met with my boss and it went super well, this Tuesday I completed everything she had asked me to do and I asked her when we could meet and she told me that on Wednesday (yesterday) she would let me know if it was today or tomorrow but she didn't tell me anything. She is aware that she is leaving the project aside but I don't know, the only thing that gives me peace is that I remind myself that if I don't continue in this work it is because of their bad organization and not mine because I have always been up to date and asking when we can meet. But well, I hope to continue longer but if not I know that better things will come.

Agh anon, that sucks. It's annoying when things go off track and it's not your fault, but the repercussions affect you.

What I would say is - your meeting 2 weeks ago went well, and your boss obviously knows that she's getting you to prioritise other things. It might be that she genuinely forgot to arrange the meeting and there's no problem. Maybe see if you can catch her and remind her gently about it. It'll show that you're being proactive rather than placing all the responsibility on her. I think sometimes we assume the worst-case scenario when there actually isn't an issue - I always do it too, but normally when I seek out my manager, it turns out I was just worrying myself for nothing!

Also, I know that you said you'd be happy to continue, but if things do go badly and you don't get kept on because of something that you couldn't control and that wasn't raised with you in a review 2 weeks ago, it's probably for the best! Take the experience you gained and use it with an employer that will value you.

I hope that all makes sense, but feel free to drop back in to chat!

[kyouxa]

Diabolik lovers Chaos Lineage: Shu Sakamaki (Euphoria END)

Place: Secret room — Interior lights

Yui: ...Agh, Nn...

Where is this place… ?

(No, I remember… I kissed Shu-san in the church as the surroundings started to suspiciously become brighter—)

(What exactly happened then?)

Shu: This place here, isn’t it part of the Eden’s castle… ?

Yui: Does that mean, we successfully got out of the miniature garden?

(Everyone is laying on the ground, I think they fainted. There’s no way they’d be… !)

Karlheinz: You have finally been summoned back.

Shu: ….. ! Father… !

Yui: Karlheinz-sama, why… ?

Karlheinz: You seem to be quite surprised, Eve. This right here is my castle. It would not be strange to assume I was here as well, right?

Yui: T-That’s right, I guess. But then why is it that you’re not surprised we’re here… ?

Karlheinz: Ah, that is because I have been watching you during your time there.

Yui: Eh… !?

Shu: As expected, this was your doing all along.

Karlheinz: Not really. I have not arranged the plot of this plan.

My friend has been the one who created the place, alterated your memories and searched for someone worth as Adam.

You were the ones imprisoned in a probation we referred to as ’miniature garden’.

Yui: That was an acquaintance of yours, Karlheinz-sama… ?

Karlheinz: I, myself, have not expected the play my accompaniment had started to carry out to turn out this way.

I had been aware of my companion doubting if the chosen person was truly worthy to be in charge of Adam’s position.

He, therefore, errassed, your memories, and love... with everything successfully being overwritten, Eve was once again able to choose all in her new given situation.

Yui: So that was the reason for the fight of the supreme ruler...

Shu: As you’d expect of a person you call your friend. They must’ve gotten the same way of thinking as you too.

Karlheinz: Stunningly, Adam and Eve overcame their trial, and then demonstrated the true love that lies between them.

Shu, you are unmistakably Adam. This has been proven by you obtaining Eve’s love.

Regarding the birth of your new life, you will receive my power, my throne, and my outer garment.

Shu: ...Your power, huh?

...No matter how much I hate you, you’d still be willing to give me your powers, right?

Yui: (Shu-san…)

Karlheinz: Of course. There is no way I would accept a refusal.

Shu: Hmm… if so—

I’ll never want them.

Yui: ….. !

Shu: I still have siblings I’d consider better matches to be sitting on the throne.

Yui: (Ah… he means Kino-kun…)

Shu: Even if we settled this matter with a sword fight, we still were in an unforeseen situation. And I think this is not fair towards him.

I don’t want to receive those powers, at least not until things are still unsettled between you and him.

Karlheinz: I see. You have chosen to take this path on your own will.

Shu: Yes. Even if you were to force them on me against my will, I’d still push them away and firmly continue refusing them.

Karlheinz: ...So you did choose your own destiny.

Yui: Eh?

Karlheinz: All right. I will patiently wait for the day, you will accept being my successor, to arrive.

Everything is up to you, Adam and Eve. Both of your choices matter—

*Karlheinz disappears*

Yui: Ah! Karlheinz-sama!

(He completely vanished…)

(But with this… we’re really out of the miniature garden)

We’re all finally back to reality now, right?

Shu: Yes, this prank of him has finally come to an end. The incomplete settlement between our father and Kino will probably be the next problem.

...I’m glad though. You stayed safe until the very end of this all.

Yui: That’s only because Shu-san kept on protecting me.

No, you didn’t only protect me, you literally saved everyone...

Monologue

As we smiled at each other, we got closer to everyone who had lost their consciousness.

Luckily, nobody was damaged from coming back to the normal world.

And most importantly — Shu-san ended up facing his father, Karlheinz-sama, on his complete own determination.

Many different incidents, over and over again, happened in the miniature garden we were trapped in. But those experiences might’ve really been able to change each of our destinies, even if it’s just a little bit.

We’re now definitely ready for a new path—

Place: Sakamaki mansion — Shu’s bedroom

Yui: Shu-san. Say, how long do you still intend to lay in bed?

If you don’t actually get up anytime soon, Reiji-san might come up to scold you again.

Shu: Hmm… shut up...

Yui: C’mon, stop being so stubborn already… today’s the spring cleaning of the mansion, so everyone has to cooperate in that, even you.

Shu: I’m passing...

Yui: You can’t just casually pass that. Look, please do it for me and get out of bed.

*window suddenly shakes*

Yui: ….. !

What the… it really seems as if the wind is shaking the window pretty roughly.

Shu: ...What did you just say to me?

Yui: Oh, the shaking window made me simply wonder if Kino-kun would be willing to come by and pay us a visit one day.

Monologue

To be honest, I haven’t seen Kino-kun ever since the day we left the space.

But now that everyone is back together in this world, I’m more than sure he’s safe too.

Considering Kino-kun’s character, it wouldn’t take long until he might make another appearance either.

If that becomes reality, I’d wish for him to come and live together with us here then.

After all, they’re still brothers.

Place: Sakamaki mansion — Shu’s bedroom

Yui: (He might appear all of the sudden again someday. Everyone would surely be surprised if that happened though)

*Shu gets up*

Shu: Why is it that Kino concerns you that much anyway?

Yui: Eh? Ah! When did you get up so fast?

Shu: That’s not worth worrying about.

*Shu gets closer*

Yui: Kyaaaa!? Shu-san, keep your distance...

Shu: Shut up. And? What kind of nonsense did you think about exactly?

Yui: Err, umm… I just thought about how Kino-kun could live in the mansion with us together if he’d ever come over...

Shu: …Is that really the case? Are you seriously terrible enough to think about another man while being in front of me?

Yui: N-No, you’re wrong. I’m simply being worried—

*Shu undresses her*

Yui: Eh… Eek!

*Shu pushes her closer*

Yui: ….. ! Shu-san!

Shu: It’s pretty bold of you to get ahead of yourself like that.

Yui: That’s… you were the one dragging me into all of this so suddenly though!?

Shu: Leaving that aside, the punishment you’ll receive now is for being so extra. Guess I’ll have to mature you by sucking your blood again.

Like this, I’ll once more let your body understand who you legitimately belong to.

Yui: Y-You can’t do that now. Everyone‘s waiting for us in the living room—

Shu: Nn… Nn...

Yui: Ahh… Shu-san…

Shu: You just said you’d dislike doing this, and now your face seems as if it’s in desperate need of my fangs...

Yui: That’s because Shu-san was still acting all sleepy until some time ago...

Shu: Heh, repeat that. This almost sounded as if you wanted to incite me.

Do you really want me to spoil you with pain that much today?

Yui: I-I don’t want you to do that. Everyone’s still waiting downstairs, so we seriously have to go there soon too.

Besides...

Shu: Besides?

Yui: When you’re sucking my blood, I want it to be during a time the both of us could be at ease...

Shu: …..

Yui: ...Shu-san?

♡Roses♡

The kiss: Fufu, you must really like those sorts of sweet kisses the most. I can tell since it's written all over your cute face.

Shu’s hand: Come even closer to me. I need to make sure you stay as long as I need you to.

Shu: You’re really… do you even understand what you say sometimes? ...Nn...

Yui: Nn… ! Hmm!?

(Nn, I can’t breathe anymore…)

Shu: ...I only wanted to tease you in order to get you a little salty. But I changed my mind.

Now you have to take responsibility for that. Nn… Haa… Nn...

Yui: Nn… Ah… I wasn’t doing this on purpose though.

(Shu-san’s fangs are so deep in my skin by now… but I still feel how gentle he is…)

(This once again made me realize what a nice person Shu-san is, and how much I love him from the bottom of my heart…)

(Yes, that’s right. I’m really deeply in love with Shu-san)

Shu-san… if everyone is already going to get angry, let’s have them get angry at the both of us, okay… ?

Shu: We better run away before they get to do that then. After we returned from the miniature garden, they’ve seriously got way too troublesome for me anyway.

Yui: But that’s only because they’re now relying on you as their eldest brother.

Shu: It’s not as if I wanted them to need me that much anyway. The only one I need is you, after all.

You’re the only one who, no matter the situation, I wouldn’t want to get separated from.

Yui: ...Yes, same. I’d never let go of you either.

I love you...

Shu: Yes. I love you too.

[knittingdreams]

Fireheart - Chapter 21

New chapter of Fireheart is here!! YAY! :D 

Sorry I’ve been MIA for a couple of days, life’s been busy, but hey, let’s get back into this story and the drama! xD

If you’ve missed any chapter, go here: Masterlist

If you want to read more chapters than what I’ve got on Tumblr so far, go here: Ao3 

And otherwise, keep reading and have fun! :)

@tillyrubes10 n_n

TW: Pretty sure there’s none, let me know otherwise and I’ll edit this n_n

CHAPTER 21

Breaking bonds

“You look pissed off, what happened?” Nehemia asked as she sat next to Celaena in the cafeteria at lunchtime.

“I’m fine, girl.”

Nehemia looked at her, poker-faced, and waited.

“It’s… nothing, really, I’m just tired.”

“Let me guess, you didn’t sleep too well this weekend.” She winked, and Celaena covered her mouth with a hand as she swallowed her food.

“I will repeat this one more time, I’m not seeing anyone.”

“So you’re telling me I’m imagining the hickey on your neck that you tried to conceal with makeup?” Celaena’s food got stuck on her throat, and she coughed once as she swallowed. “You did a pretty good job, but darling, I’m an expert.”

She had spent a lot of time concealing the bruises from her face, but she hadn’t paid much attention to the ones from when Cain had strangled her. Looking around the cafeteria, she made a fast decision.

“Okay, there’s a chance I spent some time with a guy this weekend,” she said begrudgingly. That was not a lie, there had been several guys after all. As if on cue, her phone vibrated, and she looked at it quickly. It was a text message from Fenrys.

‘I know you miss us, come visit whenever you’re in the neighborhood. XO’

She dropped the phone back into her bag and found Nehemia looking at her intently.

“Stop it, I will tell you soon, okay?” She needed a little while to make sure her plan could work.

Nehemia crossed her arms over her chest as she pouted. “Friends tell each other shit, you know?”

There wasn’t a whole lot she could tell Nehemia, but there was a chance she could do something to get answers for some of the questions that were going to keep on raining on her.

“Give me one minute, okay?” Celaena smiled at her only friend and stood up. She might as well just get it done and over with.

She crossed the cafeteria towards the table where Dorian was sitting and pushed an empty chair next to him. He raised his eyebrows at her as she sat down, and smiled a wicked smile.

“Missing me already?” 

She was probably going to regret her decision, but it was a good bet, it could work in her favor in many ways.

“I know what I need from you, ready to pay me back?” she whispered into his ear, making sure no one else on the table could hear them. 

Dorian’s smile grew wider, and he leaned to whisper in her ear. “And what would that be?”

Damn, she was certainly going to regret this sooner or later, but if she had read Dorian right during the last couple of weeks, she knew she could handle it, and he would be up for it. She hooked an arm around his shoulder as she leaned into his neck, and whispered against his skin.

“I need the school to think we’re dating, just for a while.”

She pulled away slowly, biting her lip as she looked at him in the eyes. Those impossibly blue eyes traveled down to her lips, and he set one hand on her thigh as he leaned forward to whisper against her neck once more. 

“I knew you wanted me, babe.” His tone was mocking, and he laughed as he pulled away. He seemed to think it over for a moment as if evaluating the pros and cons of the arrangement. 

After a minute, he nodded almost imperceptibly and then lifted a hand, holding her chin softly with two fingers. He leaned forward slowly, his eyes glued to hers as if waiting for her approval. As she blinked once, slowly, he pressed his lips gently against hers, barely touching her. “You should go finish your lunch, babe, I will catch you later.” He said the words loud enough for the whole table to hear him, and then winked at her. Celaena got up slowly, her brain all fogged up.

As she walked back to her table, she could feel all eyes on her, and hear the whispers going around the whole room. This was not ideal, but she could work with it. She could make the best of the situation, and get closer to Dorian and his father; find something useful. She knew Dorian Sr.'s businesses had been closely related to her family’s ones, and the fact that she hadn’t found anything suspicious yet, didn’t mean there wasn’t anything to be found.

As she slipped back onto her seat, Nehemia glared at her.

“So you couldn’t tell me, but you could go and make a scene in front of the whole school? I guess I really did misjudge you.” She stood up, her chair dragging loudly behind her.

“Nehemia, wait-”

“Don’t. Just… don’t.”

Nehemia walked away, and Celaena was debating following her when a bunch of girls showed at the table and sat all around her.

“Oh my God! You and Dorian?” Briar asked excitedly.

“You had it well hidden.” Lysandra quipped.

“How? When? How long have you been together? Tell us everything!”

All the cheerleaders’ voices overlapped one on top of each other as questions and more questions were thrown her way, and Celaena replied quietly with a few yes, no, and maybe. She couldn’t stop thinking about what she had done so wrong to annoy Nehemia.

***

A whole week went by, and Nehemia kept ignoring her. Celaena had tried to talk to her, but she never seemed to be around. She didn’t show up to lunch at the cafeteria and was always late to the few classes they shared and left before Celaena could approach her. 

As Tuesday rolled over, Celaena had had enough. Her bruises were pretty much healed, and she had taken out the stitches the night before. She was going back to cheerleader training that week, after claiming a bad stomach the week before and ditching in the last minute. She had been training again at Arobynn’s basement all weekend and was tired and grumpy after Arobynn had asked her a thousand questions about the fights. He had seen her training and noticed she wasn’t performing up to her usual standards and had reproached her for slacking. Sam had been there and hadn’t said a single word. They hadn’t spoken since their argument on Monday either.

“Good morning, babe,” Dorian said as he found her by her locker. He had insisted on driving her to school, but she enjoyed riding her bike too much to give out that pleasure every day, so they only rode together occasionally.

“You know, you don’t have to call me fucking babe every time you talk to me, right?”

“What should I call you then, princess?”

“Agh, you’re such a pain in my ass. Why did I get myself into this?”

“I don’t know, babe,” he said the last word mockingly, “because you don’t tell me a thing, so I don’t know what you are up to.”

“Because it is none of your business.”

She finished gathering her things and closed her locker. 

“Do you ever open up to anybody?” Dorian asked, hooking his arm around her waist to walk her to class as he often did.

“Not you too,” Celaena whispered, and then pushed Dorian aside and power walked her way into her first class.

She mindlessly took notes, waiting eagerly for the lunch hour, so she could go find Nehemia. She hadn’t been at the cafeteria during lunches, but Celaena thought she knew where she could find her.

When the bell rang at midday, she diverted from the crowd and headed towards the library. It only took her a moment to find Nehemia in the back, at the same table they had sat together almost a month ago. Her back was turned as she was looking out of the window, her packed lunch sitting on top of the table.

Celaena cleared her throat and ran her hands down the front of her skirt. “Nehemia.”

The girl looked over her shoulder and sighed when she saw who was addressing her. She turned back towards the window, and Celaena closed the distance between them, sitting by her side.

“Look, you can’t ignore me forever.” 

“Maybe not forever, but I can ignore you until you learn how to be a friend.” 

Celaena didn’t know how to be a friend, and she knew it wasn’t fair that she was constantly lying to the only person that had stood by her side since the very beginning, but she had missed her this week, and she was selfish, she wanted her friend back.

“Look, I’m so sorry about what I did… Maybe you’re right, maybe I don’t know how to be a good friend.” She ran her hands through her hair, she didn’t know how to do this. “But that’s because I’ve never had a real friend before.” She blurted the words out, the truth almost not making it out of her mouth.

Nehemia was silent for a moment, and when she turned to look at Celaena, there were tears in her eyes. “You know, I had a best friend once. She was… she was a caring soul, taught me so much. But she gathered with the wrong crowds, went down a bad path. She was struggling, and she didn’t tell me about it.”

Celaena listened in silence, Nehemia’s eyes filled to the brim with unshed tears as she spoke softly. “I can’t do that again, I can’t live in the dark and then be the one to deal with the consequences, with the sorrow of loss. If you’re ready to be honest, I’m here, but if you’re gonna keep spinning lies, then, please... Just go.”

Nehemia turned back to the window as a lonely tear ran down her cheek and Celaena stood up slowly, her feet rooted to the floor while she debated what to say. But what was the point? She could never be truthful to her, she could never tell her the whole truth, she couldn’t even tell her her real name. Without saying a word, she turned around and walked out of the library.

 ***

While entering her last class of the day, Celaena was still thinking over what Nehemia had told her. But once she sat down on her usual spot to one side of the room for AP English, she knew there were two other things for her to worry about. 

After recognizing Elide in the library four weeks ago, she had noticed the girl was -not surprisingly- part of her advanced English class. She still didn’t know how she hadn’t realized how familiar the girl looked until she had run into her. The years had been kind on Elide, and even if she tried to hide her looks behind thick-rimmed reading glasses and baggy clothes, the girl resembled her mother in many ways; which included her beauty. She was a bit short compared to Aelin’s slender figure, and had a curvy body that would be the envy of many; if they’d notice. She hid her curves under long skirts and oversized sweaters that hung a little over her wrists, almost hiding her slender fingers. Her dark hair fell on waves to her waist, framing her triangular face where a pair of beautiful light brown eyes looked curiously at the world through long natural lashes.  

Elide was sitting in the front row as always, and she turned around to give Celaena a shy smile as she sat down. The junior student had tried to approach her and convince her to join the book club a few weeks ago, and after Celaena refused her politely, she had stuck to waving and giving her shy little smiles ever since. It had been painful to watch the girl and deal with the memories that emerged every time they were in the same room. She didn’t think she’d be able to sit through a whole hour of book club; not like she had the time for it anyway.

Her second worry was sitting at the back of the room; his grey eyes rarely leaving his notebook while he mindlessly drew doodles on the page; only looking to the front every once in a while. Lorcan always lounged on his chair sitting so low, that you wouldn’t have been able to tell how tall he was just by watching him there. He never participated in class, and Celaena always made a point to be in class before him, and leave early so he wouldn’t get to look at her straight. She didn’t know how involved he was in the fights, but she could never be careful enough, so avoiding the guy at all costs had turned into a time-consuming task. 

She wasn’t sure what made her change her strategy that particular day, but as the class ended, Celaena decided to stay behind. Maybe she could follow him for a while, from behind, and from afar; see who he talked to, where he headed after class. Her fight with Nehemia was still bugging her, and she needed something, any kind of information to make her feel like she was making progress, like this whole high school ordeal was worth it.

As Lorcan walked past her, she hid behind a curtain of hair, pretending to be slowly putting away her books. Lorcan walked slowly, his shoulders slouched and his hands twitching by his sides as he neared the front of her class.

“Hey,” his voice was so low as he spoke, that Celeana could barely hear him.

“Hi, Lorcan,” Elide’s sweet voice traveled to her with no issue, the girl smiling broadly as she looked up to the guy towering ridiculously over her. “Did you finish the book?”

“I did.” Lorcan’s right hand was playing with the strap of his backpack as he ran the other through his hair. Was he nervous?

“I loved the ending, did you?” Elide finished putting her books away in her bag as she spoke, and slung it over a shoulder.

“I thought it was… an interesting twist of events.” 

“I can’t wait to discuss it tomorrow.”

Lorcan nodded as a half-smile curved his lips up. “Yeah, same.”

As Elide rounded her desk and headed towards the door, Lorcan followed behind her, his slouched shoulders not helping in any way to the height difference. 

“See you tomorrow,” Elide smiled as she looked back at him, and Celaena could have sworn Lorcan was blushing lightly; but that was impossible. 

“See you, Elide.”

The way he said her name, made Celaena feel almost uncomfortable to be listening to their conversation. As Elide disappeared down the hall, and Lorcan headed the other way towards a nearby locker, Celaena tried to convince herself that this wasn’t her problem. It was not her place to protect Elide, she didn’t owe the girl anything.

Still, as she walked out of the school and towards her bike, she pulled out her phone and typed Lorcan’s name onto the school’s database.

[marvel-lucy]

The Ultimate Weapon, chapter 5

As I mentioned before, this was my first fic. Read at your peril :)

I was starting to feel safe, and that frightened me. I’d been here a couple of weeks now, and nothing bad had happened. No Hydra agents had burst through the door to take away all the good stuff – I was starting to envisage it like some kind of prank or maybe a Candid Camera show. ‘Hey, you thought you were safe and well, think again!’ Cue canned laughter…

I hadn’t left my room yet. I was finding the idea of freedom, and free will, hard to grasp. How long had it been since anyone had let me make up my own mind? So even though I was theoretically allowed to leave – nobody had told me explicitly that I could, or couldn’t – I hadn’t made it out yet. Truth be told, I was scared. But I was also starting to get cabin fever. Not from the lack of space, or food, or clean clothes, or any other luxury I felt like asking Jarvis for (so far, nothing. I couldn’t start to think of things I might want. Wanting was another thing I had trouble with). But I was serum-enhanced, and used to physical exertion, whether through training, fighting or pain, and sedentary didn’t agree with me.

I’d taken to pacing the room. It was a good size but you can’t get up much of a turn of speed walking around four walls, and it had been noticed. Jarvis had informed me that there was a gym in the building, Tony had told me Bruce had a lab if I wanted to start my assessments. Steve had mentioned a communal living area. Bucky had scowled, and, I suspect, thought about telling me if I didn’t like it I could leave. We weren’t getting on well.

But I didn’t do anything. I kept pacing, like a caged animal. Because once I stepped out of that door, I’d have to … live. And that scared the hell out of me. I’d have to make decisions and act and engage with people and be a person again. I wasn’t a person; I was a weapon. But. But, just what if I was to become a person again. How would I do that? I still didn’t even know my name.

Then one day, after another morning spent pacing and biting my nails and frowning and muttering to myself, Tony knocked and came in. “Right, you’ve been wearing down my expensive carpet for plenty long enough, you need to get out of the room now. I have this amazing building and quite frankly, my ego needs to show it off to you, out you come”. And with that, he took my elbow, ignored my muscles tensing against him, and through sheer force of personality, propelled me out of the door.

Into a corridor. Dramatic, I know. A long, wideish corridor, with some other doors in it. My heart was still racing though, this was something new. A CORRIDOR. Sheesh. At that point, my training kicked in, in response to my anxiety, and I decided to act as if I was being commanded. I let Tony lead me along the corridor, telling myself this was his choice, not mine, and towards an elevator. As we walked along, we went past a large window, looking out over New York, and I realised just how high up we were, as we looked down on the nearest skyscrapers. I also realised that ‘outside’ scared the hell out of me, more so even than corridors. Or rather, I worked that out an hour later, after Tony and Steve had manhandled me back into my room in the middle of a panic attack, and sat with me while I hyperventilated, shook, sweated, and threw up.

“So, that went well then?” Tony said. I could hear the guilt behind the humour, did he think he’d caused this? And why on earth would he care? I wasn’t used to consideration for my feelings.

“Not you” I said, breathless and shaking. “Outside. So big. I can’t look at it. I can’t go out there. I can’t…” Steve grabbed my hand and looked at me “hey, it’s OK, keep breathing, look into my eyes, you’re inside, you don’t need to start panicking again, it’s OK”. I struggled to take control of my breathing but managed not to subside into the panic again.

“So you haven’t opened your curtains since you got here then?” Tony looked quizzically at me. I shook my head. I hadn’t – something in me had just liked to keep the curtains shut and stay in the one room. I hadn’t analysed why I felt like that, but now I realised that the world outside terrified me.

“I guess it makes sense in a way. We don’t know how long you were with Hydra, but we know it was years, and you were underground pretty much that whole time. We brought you to Stark Tower when you were unconscious, so you wouldn’t have seen the outside. Why are we surprised to find you’re agoraphobic?”

I flushed, and looked down. I was a weapon. We weren’t supposed to have emotions, or fears. All that training and I was scared of the outside world? What use was I to anyone if I couldn’t fulfil my missions? I knew I’d been created for a particular target, and although I’d been taken on missions, I was generally transported in the back of a lorry, from one building to another, so hyped up on serum and pain that I wasn’t taking in my surroundings anyway, if I saw them in passing. Now that my brain was clear of torture, it turned out that I wasn’t exactly functional. I felt ashamed. What was the point of me? Why had they bothered to rescue me?

Tony must have picked up on my feelings, I guess my posture gave it away. Following the panic attack, I didn’t have the mental energy right now to maintain the blank exterior. “Hey, it’s not a problem. This is a big building, no need to go outside any time soon – it’s winter anyway, why go outside when there’s plenty of heat in here, right? Hey, Jarvis, can you arrange to darken the window in any area that… damn what are we going to call you?... this young lady goes past?”

Jarvis spoke from the wall, “Absolutely sir, all the windows contain electronically controlled tints set to adjust to the sunlight, it will be no difficulty to adjust them to dark to prevent seeing outside”.

I was grateful, I was. I hadn’t been hurt in weeks, I was being fed and cared for, and was warm and safe, but the thought of spending my life as an unknown person, unable to face the world, well, that got to me. “Great. I’m going to be living like a mole. The first mole to live thousands of feet above the ground. AGH”. I let out a grunt of disgust and unhappiness and tried not to let any tears show. Weapons don’t cry.

“Well hey, we don’t know what to call you, I’m going to go with Molegirl for now then. Embrace your quirks Moley!” Tony said with his usual level of ridiculous enthusiasm, so much so that I couldn’t help but smile. I leant my head back against the wall and sighed. I was exhausted after my anxiety attack, but exhaustion had never been allowed as a valid excuse before. I heaved myself up, refusing to give up and be afraid. I was damn well going to walk down that corridor today at the very least.

And I did. Weapons don’t bend and break under the sight of some sunshine. Admittedly, Jarvis darkened the windows so I didn’t see the sunshine, but weapons don’t have fears, and so I had to face mine. I walked ahead of Tony and Steve down the corridor, with Jarvis darkening the windows and raising the light levels as we went along. I’d have to deal with this properly one day – I couldn’t be much use as a tool if I could only do missions that stayed within Stark Tower – but nobody was torturing me except myself. Although I walked straight backed (ignoring Tony’s constant stream of ‘look at the little Moley scuttling!’ comments), inside I could hear the voices of Hydra agents that I’d long since internalised. ‘You are WEAK. You cannot be WEAK. Worthless, useless, failure’. I dug my nails into my palms and chewed the inside of my cheeks unconsciously, echoing the pain that Hydra had long since inflicted on me if I ever let them down.

I made it to the elevator. It wasn’t that exciting.

What came next was – for everyone else, at least.

[iamtwilighttrash]

My Breaking Dawn

*warnings: mention of sex, minor cursing  

(Stephenie Meyer owns this series and it’s characters)

Chapter Two

Jacob dropped me back home at 7:30. The sky had begun to change from overcast blue to a muted pink, and together we watched from my small front porch as the sunset blossomed.

“You have fun tonight, Bells. I mean it. I’ll see you tomorrow!” He was eager to go to the Bachelor Party— I could see the anticipation shining in his eyes. He turned to rush off but I gripped his sleeve, stopping him in his tracks.

“Our last normal human day and I don’t even get a hug goodnight? Asshole.” Thoroughly chastised, he grinned and ducked his head before swooping me up in a crushing bear hug.

“Sorry, Bella. Love you like crazy.” I laughed when, at last, I was able to breathe again.

“Love you too, Jake. Get outta here you crazy wolf,” I teased, sticking my tongue out. He rolled his eyes but jogged to his bike. I was barely inside the house when the engine roared to life and he was tearing down the street.

“Was that Jake?” My dad’s voice, so close, startled me so much that I nearly jumped through my skin.

“Agh! Dad!” Charlie, soda in hand, leaned against the entryway to the kitchen and patted my head as I scowled at him. “Why are you still home?” He had made arrangements to stay over at Billy’s so that my party could take place at our house; Alice had nearly hugged him off his feet when he’d grudgingly agreed. 

“Sorry, Bells,” he said gruffly. “I just wanted to make sure that you got here safe, wasn’t tryin’ to give you a heart attack.” There was a little smile peeking on the corner of his mouth. I rolled my eyes, but felt deeply touched by the notion that he had wanted to make sure I made it safely.

“It’s okay. Yeah, that was Jake. He swung by the Cullens earlier to, er, spend time with me before I...got married.” But it was so much more than that. Soon, I would no longer be human. Neither Jake nor I knew what the future would hold after I was turned. 

“Well, I hope you too had a nice time. I know you promised me this before, but I just wanted to make sure that tonight-” 

“No drinking, no strippers, no damage?” I teased. Charlie reddened, all too easy to embarrass, and I giggled in passing as I veered towards to fridge. It was dinnertime for the human. Imagining that in Edward’s voice made me smile bigger in remembrance, and then blush at the thought of what was soon to come. Silly, silly girl. Ruled by your hormones. After rummaging through the fridge, I turned to assemble a grilled cheese and tomato soup. Comfort food. Comfort food for the fear of my wedding, but also to ease the anxiety of the party Alice was about to subject me too. Charlie watched me as I methodically sliced cheese, oiled a pan, and butter bread. 

“Do ya think you could make me one of those to go?” I flashed him a grin. 

“Going to miss having me around to cook?” 

“A little.” He seated himself at the table. The realization hit me hard; this was it. This was the last time I would be human, eating dinner with my father in his shabby kitchen. I would no longer be able to hug him without wanting to kill him. 

My dad, my biggest supporter, and he would have to fear for his life around me.

“Bells, what’s the matter?” The tomato soup was started to scald to the pan. I quickly moved to stir it. 

 “Just nervous.” With my back turned, I hoped he could accept the lie. 

“Bella.” The firmness made me turn to look at him, our eyes locked. “I know I might not have acted the right way, you know, when you first told me. But I...” Both of our cheeks were on fire. The pregnancy accusation. “I want you to know that I’m happy you’re marrying Edward. When I see you look at each other, well,” he got a sad look on his face, and swiped a hand through his hair, “I remember how I used to feel when I looked at your mom.” My vision blurred through surprised tears. “Me and your mom didn’t work out, but I know what it feels to be in love. And you’re not like me, Bells, or her. You’re strong, and determined, and if you and Edward have a problem you’ll fight to fix it. He’s different too. I can tell...well, aside from when I almost killed him for running off... that he’s going to be a good man to you. I just wanted you to know that.”

I walked over, bent down to hug him tight. I had not spent enough time hugging Charlie; I knew that now that my human life would soon be over. But, I resolved to not feel guilt, and instead served up our grilled cheese, listened to my father talk about his day, and spent a few precious last moments with someone I loved. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Angela threw her pillow towards Alice in disbelief, shocked but giggling at the question. Alice feigned an OUCH! at the pillow’s impact, and cast me a sly wink. I was flushing just as hard as Angela, and the question hadn’t even been directed towards me. 

“Alice! So not fair to put me on the spot like!” 

“Asking if you and your long-time boyfriend have had sex is not an unfair question! It’s a Bachelorette party!” Rosalie let out a little laugh as well, and Leah smirked from her perch on the arm of my love-seat. 

“Agh, alright. Yes. We have.” Everyone let out a girlish squeal of excitement. I was a little shocked; was I the only virgin I knew besides Edward? Not that virginity mattered much to me, but it was still a little surprising. I was no prude, and I fully accepted that people in high school had a lot of sex; I had heard all of the almost comical story of Jessica  losing her virginity to Mike, which Edward had complained about to me in his car after school-- The details were so much worse in her head, love. You have no idea how lucky you are. -- but I still had not heard about Angela and Ben. 

“How was it? When was it?” 

“About a month ago. And it was,” she gave us a lewd eyebrow wiggle, “phenomenal.” All of the other girls, myself included, let out obnoxiously loud laughs. “But enough about me. Bella.” Oh no. I knew it was coming. “What about you and Edward?” 

“Ah...well...we both decided to wait. Until after...marriage.” I had struggled for a moment, fumbling on the words. I thought that my skin was ablaze. 

“Oh man, I don’t know how you guys managed!” Alice teased. I gave her a look. Angela gripped my hand.

“Does that mean that tomorrow...the honeymoon...” As my cheeks darkened and I bobbed my head in a shy nod, Angela smiled. “That’s so romantic!”

“Nervous?” asked Rosalie. Her gentle fingers were busy braiding Leah’s shoulder-length hair, but both of them gave me their full attention. Leah was flipping through the pages of an old magazine that my dad kept on the coffee table. I knew she would rather be out in the woods, out with her pack, but the fact that she chose to be with me made my lips curl on their own accord.

“Rose...” I scolded, half-serious. She gave me an innocent look. I sighed, taking a sip of the soda to my left. The carbonation had all but evaporated, but the liquid soothed the dryness of my tongue. Soon, human food would mean nothing to me. I indulged in another watered down sip. “I guess...” I looked around. These were my friends. I had to stop being so embarrassed about sex when I was the one who had begged Edward to have it. “Yes. Yes, I’m nervous.”

“Don’t be,” said Leah. There was always a bite to her tone but I knew she meant the words with kindness.

“Yeah, Bella,” Alice scooted over to give me a one-armed hug; as always, the coolness of her body settled me. “You’ll be okay. I’ve packed some...um...helpful things in your suitcase.” The blush came rushing back with a vengeance. Angela guffawed into the crook of her elbow. Rosalie smirked, tying of Leah’s braids skillfully.

“Oh my God, Alice!”

“Oh, don’t panic Bella!” My almost-sister-in-law nudged me. “I can almost be certain you’ll thank me later.” The wink almost pushed me over the edge.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was hours later, alone in my own bed, that the true gravity of my situation hit me. I was about to be married woman, say goodbye to my human family and friends, lose my virginity, and become a vampire. Isabella Swan was being shredded to pieces and rebuilt: Bella Cullen. Beautiful, hopefully graceful, and bloodthirsty Bella Cullen, who could wrestle with mountain lions and play baseball during thunder storms and race werewolves. Newborn Bella Cullen, who would have bright red eyes and uncontrollable thirst.

Was I ready to say goodbye to Isabella Swan? Was I ready to walk away from my parents and Angela and possibly even Jacob?

On my desk, I could just make out the photograph of Edward and I that we had taken over summer. Even with my dull human senses, his beauty stood out in the darkness. My heart thumped.

Yes. Yes, I was ready. For an eternity with him, there was nothing I wouldn’t do.

[asksigynwifeofadumbass]

Deal

Words:2087 words

Warnings:

______________________________________________________________

Sigyn was woken up by the sunshine coming from the windows. She was waiting to again wake up in her room to live another with the huge pressure her parents had on her but when she open her eyes she didn’t see that grey and boring room instead she saw a golden room filled with elegant decoration. She later tried to sit but a horrific pain in her legs and arms made her stay still on the bed. The blonde turned her head to another side and found Loki sleeping in a chair.

-Loki? -She said. He moved a little but didn’t wake up -Loki. Honey, wake up!

The prince’s eyes open up revealing his icy blue eyes but under them there were black circles. Loki looked at Sigyn and when he just realized she was awake, his eyes filled up with tears while his lips formed a smile. He ran to her and hugged her.

-My darling -He whispered with weak voice -I thought I lost you for a moment.

-Loki, what happened?

He sighed -You lunged yourself to a window and tried to runaway but you passed out because you almost bleed yourself out for some reason but my mother helped you and now you here.

Thanks to Loki’s words, she remembered the event and, terribly, Theoric’s “advances”. But also how she revealed the truth to Loki about her engagement, making her eyes starting to fill with tears by guilt.

-Oh Loki... -She sobbed -I’m sorry that I lied to you...

Loki embraced her -Sigyn, you shouldn’t had lied to me and you shouldn’t, this time I’ll forgive you but I don’t want to see you cry right now -He said while with his thumb cleaned her pink cheeks from tears -It hurts me.

Sigyn let herself breath a little to calm herself down -Okay... Loki, how much has been since you brought me here?

-3 days.

-3 DAYS?! -She yelled with fear breaking her voice apart -Loki, my parents must be searching for me like crazy!

-Sigyn, calm down!

-I must leave! -Sigyn tried to get out of the bed but when she tried to get up pain possessed her weak legs making her fall to the ground.

Loki got close to her and put his hand on her leg, he began to whisper some words but Sigyn wasn't able to hear it. The horrid pain was gone after that.

-What did you do?

Loki gazed Sigyn with his ice blue eyes -It was a healing spell but it's only to end the pain.

Loki lifted Sigyn to leave her at the bed -Sigyn, you have expressed how much you hate there, why would you go back?

Sigyn opened her mouth to say something but nothing came because there isn't any reason to come back to that place except -Fear... -She whispered afraid -I'm afraid of them.. I always have and maybe... always be... -Loki looked at her with a sad and confused look -I... I can't believe I'm not there... It feels... liberating...

Loki patted the blonde’s back -Are you happy? -He shyly asked.

-I... I d-don’t know, Lo -She answered with confused look -I wished to be away from my parents and I got it but... to come to a bigger place than there... but still I’m with you here and... UGH! This is so frustrating! -She yelled annoyed and confused while tears begin to flood her eyes -I’m so confused...

Loki passed his hand to Sigyn’s cheek only to be softly rejected by Sigyn by removing it from her face. She covered her face with her hands as she sighed tired while tears teased her to fell into her cheeks.

-Loki... Can you give me a moment?... -She asked softly while her voice broke a little -Please... I need to rest...

Loki understood Sigyn's request and exited the room. Loki was confused with Sigyn's frustration and began to judge himself, Why isn't she happy? Did I do something? Does she like it here?... D-does she even love me?..., The last thought hurted to Loki like a dagger.

Loki went into his mother's chambers where she was sitting on her chair reading a book. Frigga noticed his son quickly.

-Loki, How is Sigyn? -She asked and noticed Loki’s unhappy expression -Did something happen, Sweetheart.

-Nothing important. Sigyn has woken up but now she’s resting.

Frigga knew that Loki had something bothering him but, because of his great pride, he wouldn’t admit it -Loki, I know something is bothering you and I think this moment is perfect for you to relieve yourself -The all-mother patted a chair next to her and Loki sited in there.

He sighed heavily -Nothing, I’m just tired -He lied. This matter wasn’t that bad nor the problem of Frigga, this was between Sigyn and him -I haven’t slept for 3 days and you know it, Mother.

Loki and the all-mother had breakfast. The talk started with what books they have read recently and later changed thanks to the question ‘Who is Sigyn’

-What do you mean with that, Mother?

-I mean here is she from? How did you two meet? Who are her parents? -Frigga said -Loki, I know she’s your lover but basically we don’t know anything about her... Can you at least tell me something about her background?

Loki felt that it was kind of wrong talking about Sigyn’s situation or to mistakenly make her seem like a total different person than she actually is... besides she was already too uncomfortable here and didn’t want to make it worst. But also it could move Frigga’s heart and she could convince Odin letting Sigyn stay.

-Sigyn has been raised for parents who for what I’ve seen have nothing of respect to her daughter and in the day I brought her here, she tried to get away from them but she got hurt seriously bad and thank the norns I was looking for her when she was escaping -Loki said to his mother. He clearly didn’t mention the engagement of Sigyn or that would be a hard no -Mother, Please I beg you to let Sigyn stay here, she’s not safe with her parents.

-Well...-The Queen said while having a thoughtful -I can convince your father but if your going to keep her and present her as your lover we need her to be part of the court.

Loki knew Sigyn was of a wealthy family but maybe using her family haus might give her parents a clue of where she is -Well, Sigyn is not from a wealthy family so how about if we make her a lady-in-waiting?

-That is a great idea, Loki but I already have some and I don’t think is appropriate to have more.

-What if we make her my lady-in-waiting? -Said Loki -Can we even make her mine?

-Well, Yes, technically, but is really something unseen it is normally the same sex but it’s possible especially if your going to present her as your lover we can also train her to be your consort.

Meanwhile at Sigyn’s room. Sigyn felt trapped in the room, so after having breakfast, she decided to try to walk, standing was painful but still it was sufferable to her, You suffered worst, She thought to herself while taking a step while holding a side of the bed so she couldn’t fall to the floor, she got out of the room while leaning against the wall so she could not fall to floor. She tried to go a little faster but still at the intent she fell to the floor.

-Agh! -She grunted in pain.

-Are you alright?! -Asked a strong male voice that got close to her.

Sigyn was trying to get up -I’m okay..I just fell... really hard -She looked up to the man and saw that was prince Thor -Oh... -She felt a little uncomfortable because the first time he saw her was probably when she was near death’s door.

-Let me help you there! -He said to carry Sigyn -You’re Sigyn, right? My brother’s lover?

The question kinda threw the blonde off, she knew, through Loki, that him and Thor aren’t that close but clearly Thor and the rest of the palace knew about her -Yes, that’s me...

-Where were you trying to go so I can’t take you there? -He asked.

-I was trying to go to the garden...-She answered with awkwardness her face -I need some fresh air...

-Why Loki couldn’t take you?

-I thought I was able to go myself but I’ve overestimated myself... Besides right now I need a little time for myself.

-Oh well... I can just-

-But it doesn’t mean that I’m not thankful for your help! -She said nervously -I just want to think in a place I’m comfortable...

-You already been on the garden?

-Yes! Actually there is where I met Loki.

-Really!?

-Yes! You didn’t know?

Thor shaked his head -No one knew about you until a few days ago but I do think he told my mother, the two are really close.

-Well, If you wish, one of this days I can tell you how Loki and I met -Sigyn suggested while a warm smile grew in her lips -But I think you were busy before you helped me so maybe later.

-You are wrong, I was bored and decided to have stroll until I’ve found you, so went we get to the garden you can tell me!

-Nice! To the garden then!

Thor and Sigyn arrived to the garden and quickly, Sigyn saw the tree where Loki and her seated at the spring ball -Oh! Thor, let’s sit under that tree! -She pointed out to the tree with excitement and nostalgia. They seated there and she couldn’t believe she was back there -I missed this place -She inhaled the fresh air smelling the perfume of all the flowers mixed in one and had a little moment of quiet and peace for herself -So you want to know how I met your brother? -Thor nodded. Sigyn began to tell with detail how she met Loki, and for the first time she was honest about it all; The arranged engagement; The lies to Loki; Theoric’s advances; The way she escaped from the grasp of Theoric and her parents; Everything -And now... Find me here at the Royal Palace.

-I’m so sorry for that, Sigyn, you and my brother have gone through a lot -Said Thor with a pained expression.

-He and I? We didn’t go through it, I don’t even think it has ended, I’d put him through a lot in a short span of time -She said with a tone of anger or irritation towards herself -I’m so selfish and naive, and Loki fell in love with a dumb, stupid, horrible person -She described herself with words that were used once by her parents against her.

-You’re not all of that! -Exclaimed the god of thunder -Yes, you were selfish when you lied to Loki but the rest... That isn’t you describing yourself, those are the words of a different person... Aren’t they? -He gave to the blonde an interrogative look but she ignored Thor’s eyes and looked another way.

-Loki says that he’ll try to convince the all-father through the all-mother to let me stay her but with my history they’ll probably reject me...-Sigyn said with a serious look in her face -And I think you are going to tell them the truth if Loki ends up lying to protect me, aren’t you?

-I won’t tell them, Sigyn, you’re the first person my brother has opened up and being honest in forever and if you make him happy, I won’t let anyone take his happiness away besides I like you... So I’ll keep everything a secret -He declared with honesty and seriousness in his words -But I beg you, don’t break his heart...

Sigyn didn’t know how to respond to that so it took her some time to think well her words -Thor, you brother to me is, as you put it, my happiness but also he’s the one who led me to my freedom and to me discovering what love is and I would be anywhere in the world if it meant to be with him -She said with confidence -I assure you that he we’ll be the only man in my life -She offered her hand to him so they could shake and he did, setting a deal between this two.

[whentherewerebicycles]

hi well I failed to hold myself to my “no more overhauling or writing new material, only fixing small things” policy today, but I think it produced a much better Woolf chapter. I think the Woolf chapter is one of my strongest chapters now???? which is amazing considering that a month and a half ago I felt like I was just pulling it out of my ass to try to cover some bases I hadn’t covered yet. also I discovered some amazing things about how the chapter is thematically connected to the other chapters that I hadn’t realized before, so that was v cool. and yesterday I reread the Bowen chapter and the romance novels chapter on the plane and was like “damn girl! those are some interesting thoughts about reading & genre fiction!” which is A PLEASANT SURPRISE and also A HUGE RELIEF because at one point in March I thought I would just have to scrap the entire romance novel chapter. BUT NOPE IT ALL CAME TOGETHER!!!!

before I sleep tonight I need to look up page numbers for A Room of One’s Own and then format my entire bibliography, which will be annoying but also soothing for my brain I think and will help me feel like I can spend these final hours working on big picture stuff instead of stressing about tiny details.

the big scary things left: the introduction and chapter 5 revisions. I printed, cut out, and loosely arranged all the parts of the intro I have and I think it’s closer to done than I thought a few days ago, but it is still going to take at least an entire workday to weave the pieces together because I basically wrote it across ten diff Word documents because IM EXTREMELY SCATTERBRAINED AND ENJOY SETTING MY FUTURE SELF UP FOR MAXIMUM STRESS WHENEVER POSSIBLE. I also have some chapter 5 revisions that my chair asked for but I just am legitimately not sure that I have time to do anything but an extremely cursory job with them. But if I don’t do them she might ask me for revisions and I cannot.. god I cannot spend July revising this document that now has zero bearing on my professional future... so I have to find a way to fix it somehow.. agh.

Okay. TWO DAYS OF WRITING LEFT, then on Saturday morning I will do the final formatting stuff and print the entire thing. Then either Saturday afternoon or Sunday I will do my very last full readthrough (for typos ONLY), and on Sunday morning I submit.

[alittlemadhatteriswriting]

Week 2 - @alittlefysh.reads

Prompt: We were childhood friends, and we made a vow that if one of us get married first the other would write a song about us. My wedding was less than a week, and you just disappeared leaving only a note that said you loved me. Title: Untitled  Characters: OCs

Everything feels wrong.

My stomach churns. I keep thinking whether the catering staff can prepare the banquet before the reception, or if Melanie can finish shortening the hem of my dress. And Blooming Hell! Has James even picked up his tuxedo from the dry cleaner? The wedding is in 4 days!

“Hey, Mrs. M!” I greet my best friend’s mom as I walk into the kitchen of my best friend Ezra’s house. He wasn’t replying to his texts or picking up his calls. Granted, his reply may come late when he’s working. But he still replies, at least. Now he’s been MIA for approximately 36 hours and I really need someone to reassure me that I am not gonna mess things up at my own wedding somehow…

“Hello, Alice, darling! How are you doing? What’s the matter, darling? You only call me Mrs. M when you’re feeling antsy. Getting cold feet?” she asks me, looking up from her delicious-smelling pepper chicken dish she’s cooking, half concerned, half teasing. That’s what you get when your best friend’s mom has known you your whole life, I guess.

People ask me that question a lot these days. Am I getting cold feet? Frankly, I don’t know! What I know is that I’m restless and I’m nervous and quite honestly, I want to get this over with but also at the same time I don’t want the day to come. It’s all so confusing!

“It’s nothing, Nora. Just pre-wedding jitters.” I laugh lightly. “Is Ez home?” I ask, locating plates and cutleries from the drawer and help Nora set the table.

“Thank you, Alice! You’re such a dear! Oh, honestly! I swear nobody ever helps me in this house! Why didn’t I have a daughter?! Oh, funny you ask that. He actually hasn’t been home for two days. He did tell me that his work has been super busy. All those taxes he had to do! Preposterous, you know!” Nora exclaims as she turns off the stove. “But you’re welcome to wait for him in his room upstairs like you usually do. I think he’ll be home today. Just have a feeling about it, you know!”

“Thanks, Nora.” I say before running upstairs. How long has it been since I was last in Ezra’s room? Years? I haven’t been here since my relationship with James got serious. I have known James for 3 years now and been his girlfriend, now fiancée and soon-to-be wife I guess, for 2. He proposed to me when it was our 1 year and 6 months anniversary. I knew it hasn’t been that long, but James told me he didn’t want to wait anymore, said he’s already sure as hell with me, and I feel the same way. He cherishes me so much and I always feel like I’m on cloud when I’m with him. That’s how you know it’s real, isn’t it? I can see myself spending my life, living together with him. James is really wonderful. How could he ever want me- mediocre, plain, crazy-half-of-the-time Alice? I half expect people will come out of the bushes on my wedding day, with cameras and all and finally say, ‘Surprise! No, this perfect human being isn’t marrying you for real! You’re on the biggest prank show on earth right now!’ at this point. I love James. I do. I don’t know why I’m getting doubts, to be honest. I guess my insecurities get the best of me. Again. That’s why I need Ezra! He would know what to say. He always knows what to say when it comes to me. He’s always there for me. But now he’s missing! Ugh! Hurry home, Ezra.

I scan around his room. Really, how long since I last came here? I miss that Pulp Fiction poster of his. And his checkered bedsheet. He even still keeps my pink IKEA throw pillow for when I visit him. And look at that! His desk is always so messy. He will be pissed if he knows I’m rummaging through his stuff. But I got nothing to do while waiting. Guess I’ll organize his desk for him.

I shake my head as I sort out his belongings, tidying up his stationeries and books, throwing chocolate papers away to the dustbin, and will you look at it?! Isn’t this the action figure he’s been whining about these past few weeks, claiming that he lost it somewhere? I’m gonna give him a good smack in the head when he gets home!

I’m sorting a bunch of crumpled papers- mostly receipts I suppose, on his desk, straightening them to see if they are anything important before I throw them away, when I find it. It’s a crumpled blue paper. Curious, I proceed to straighten it and read. Receipts aren’t blue. It might be important, after all.

What I read almost makes my heart stop.

            Alice,

           I’ve been in love with you.

No. It can’t be.

It is definitely Ezra’s handwriting. That bastard! I don’t think it is even possible to be even more confused than I already am! I come here to be less confused and less nervous! How long has this bastard kept it from me?! How can this be? His feelings don’t even show. I feel betrayed. I thought he always tells me everything. I’ve known him forever. I sit down on his bed to try to calm my breathing and racing heart. Damn you, Ezra!

Where in the blooming hell is he?!?!?! He’s ruining everything! He’s been unreachable for almost 2 days now! And it’s not even a week into my wedding and this bastard has the audacity to-

“Alice?” I lose my train of thought as I hear him calling. I see him leaning on his door. “What are you doing here?” he continues. I just stare at him, not knowing what to say, gathering my thoughts still. His curly black hair is in complete disarray. What has he been doing?

He merely raises an eyebrow before snapping his fingers in front of my face. “Hello? Earth To Alice?”

At that, I stand up, swat at his hand, and all but yell, “EZRA AHARON MENDELL!!”

He lifts both his hands in defense. “Whoa. What did I do now?”

“What did you do?!?! What did you do you little- you piece of- WHAT IN THE BLOOMING HELL IS THIS?” I fume as I show him the crumpled blue paper note I’ve been holding in my hand.

“Um, some note? I don’t know! Honestly, what had you so worked up? You’re not getting cold feet, are you?” He says, taking the note from my hand.

“Please! Not that question again. I almost had my heart falling out of my chest as it is.”

“You’re mad because of.. this?” he says, gesturing to the crumpled blue paper he’s currently holding.

I huff, crossing my arms in front of me. “Isn’t that your hand-writing?”

“Well, yes-“

“Explain.” I tell him.

“Oh, you know, just some stuff I wanted to say to you but I couldn’t.” He shrugs. HE SHRUGS. Oh God have mercy….

“So you just left a note?” I challenge.

“Yup… You weren’t meant to find it, Alice.” He says.

“What did you expect me to do then, now that I’ve found it?! That I would run away with you?? Ezra, I love James. You know how much I love him. You’re jeopardizing everything with this confession, Ezra! You’re so supportive of our relationship, I thought… Clearly, I thought wrong!” I sniff.

“Wait, why were you thinking that I’d want to run away with you?”

“Because you have secret feelings for me? Ezra, I love you, but not like that.” I tell him softly.

“Wow- Alright. Listen, here.  Because it really is not what you think. I really didn’t mean for you to find it. But I guess I’m kinda relieved that you did because I need to get this off my chest and I want to be able to say it to you at least once.” He says.

“But-“

“No, Als, you really need to listen to what I’m about to say very carefully. Give me a chance to explain myself.” He pleads, his soft blue eyes looking at me expectantly. Agh! I’m so weak when he does that. Blooming, Damning, Son of a-

“Yes, I wrote that note once upon a time.” He says

Oh, Ezra…

“And yes, I loved you, and would love to pursue something more than just this, with you.” He continues.

Wait…

“Past tense?” I ask.

“Of course! I don’t want you like that anymore, Als. James doesn’t need to worry at all. Besides, I believe it was only just a phase back then. How old was I when I wrote that note? 17? 18? And you know how broody and emo I was back then-“

“Yeah, all those MCR songs you listen to.”

“-Hey! Don’t diss My Chemical Romance or Gerard Way! I still cry when they break up-“

“True.”

“-Besides, you’ve missed a really important point here.” He says, opening up the note and pointing at the writing.

“What is it?” I frown.

“You’ve known me for how long now? You should’ve noticed that the note lacked the refined penmanship I have right now. I wrote it so long ago. I’m actually surprised it’s still there. Didn’t you see the state of the paper at all? It’s blooming dirty! And the pencil is barely visible anymore. I say, all these nuptials business finally get to you. Am I wrong?” he implores.

He’s right. I didn’t notice. Ezra doesn’t loop his Ys anymore now. How can it slip my mind?

“Oh, Ezra…” I sigh. I almost cry. “I’m just so nervous! There’s seating arrangement, there’s the catering, and my wedding dress is still being altered and I don’t know if it will finish in time, it’s just… so stressful and- wait…” I stop, replaying his words earlier in my mind.

Ezra just looks at me expectantly.

“When you said past tense, does that mean you don’t love me anymore, even as friends?” I ask carefully, eyes focusing on his blue ones.

“Blooming help me this girl thinks too much-“

“Well, do you or do you not?!”

His face suddenly turns serious. “I don’t love you.” He says. And I feel my heart sinks a little.  But then, he continues, “Because what I feel for you transcends and soars beyond love, Als. We’re soul mates. I always get you, and you always get me. Even when I get married someday to my future wife who I’m sure is going to be the most important woman in the world to me, you’re gonna come to a close second. And I’m still gonna be there when you need me, because you’re my best friend. Jealous James be damned.”

I immediately throw myself to him and envelop him in a hug, crying big fat tears that I can no longer hold back now on his shoulders.

“What about your mom?” I ask in between sobs.

I hear him chuckle. “She’s not a woman to me. She’s literally a God-sent Angel. Whatever she says goes.”

I sniffle, letting him go now that I’ve wet his shoulder with my snots. “Then why do you still not help her in the kitchen? I helped her set the table this afternoon, and she said, and I quote, ‘I swear nobody ever helps me in this house’.” I tell him, trying my best to impersonate Nora.

“Ah… She said that, didn’t she?” He smiles as he wipes my tears.

“Where were you anyway? I’ve been calling and texting you all this time. Your call couldn’t get through.”  I hit his shoulders, and he hisses.

“I was at work, doing all their blooming taxes ‘til late, so I crashed a coworker’s place. And my charger’s spoiled so my phone’s dead.” He says.

“Then get a new charger!! Don’t you dare disappear on me again, Ezra!”

“Alright, Princess.” He grins.

We both sit down on his bed then. I grab my pink throw pillow and hug it. “Speaking of which,” I tell him, “Have you finished writing the song for me?”

“Of course. Did you just doubt my song-writing skill? After all, I’m gonna perform it on your wedding, you know.” He teases.

“No,” I smile. “I know you could finish it in time.” And just like that, my nervousness is gone. I’m ready. I’m going to marry the love of my life in 4 days. And my best friend- my soul mate is also going to be there. I feel like I can no longer wait 4 days. I can’t wait to get married. I can’t wait to see James.

“I should warn you, though,” he says, “the lyrics are going to embarrass you so blooming much. It has many of your deepest, darkest secrets. I bet James will be delighted to hear it.” He grins again, his blue eyes glinting with mischief.

“EZRA!!!!!”

And suddenly, everything feels right.

Fysa’s note: Oh, this was fun to write! I need an Ezra in my life. 

[ouijasurfboard-blog]

a very first-drafty sample chapter from the middle of EACAG

Chapter 39: A Blanket Fort of Nonsense

(because of tumblr formatting, things previously in italics may no longer appear as such. gee, that sucks. hopes it still reads okay thanks for reading

)

Cody burst from the shadows and into the streetlight, clothes sodden and dripping, thinning hair pinned to his face. His left eye was squinted by a swelling purple bruise and his lip had been torn open. His hands were bloody, half of them clutching his ribs. Furthermore, and most importantly, he’d lost his glasses. “The hell happened to you?” He stumbled forward, gathered himself, and put a hand on the streetlight to keep steady. “Ellie—have you been following me?” There was stagger in his voice as well as his balance. “Dude, no, I—” “Stop following me! God! I’m never alone! Why is everyone obsessed with me? It’s like, ew, I can feel you staring. Sorry. We were having a good time, and then I threw up on you with words. I’m so sorry.” He hunched over and vomited off the curb. “Ew. Anyway. It’s cool that you were following me. I get it. Sorry for freaking out. You’re like… my cool, wacky mom who’s younger than me.” My idiot son wasn’t done vomiting. I moved closer. “Cody, buddy, baby, your glasses—” “Sooo, here’s what happened. Did I interrupt you? Sorry. Don’t care. I mean, I do care, but, like, oh right, so, my glasses. So here’s what happened to my glasses. I was out with the boys.” Cody definitely met all of these boys no more than eight hours ago. “And we were at this club, then the song comes on, you know the one, and then I sing along, and everyone’s like ‘woah Cody we didn’t know you were bleeblerhblerhwhatever’ because I don’t, anyway, so this girl is like, ‘blerhblerh hey youuuerrr good singer me and the ladies going to a karaoke bar’ and I was like, ‘hell YEAH’ so I get in this van, and they’ve got like beads and shit and erm-ermpheta-amphetamines and at first I’m like, ‘naaaw dude’ but then they’re like, ‘yaaaw, dude’ and so I’m gonna, but they, so like, my badge, my fake badge, ‘aaagh oh shit a cop’ so I get the SHIT kicked out of me by this old guy and these three girls and this HUGE guy, and I’m coughing up blood but THEN the BOYS show up, drag me back to the first club, and then I’m like, to uh, the bartender, ‘hey can I a doubleblerhblerhblerh’ and she’s like ‘duude yourr fuckin face go to a mirror’ so I go to the bathroom and my face is straight fucked to shit, Ellen, and, uh, like, my glasses, where are they, not on my face, that’s where, but it’s party time let’s go beast mode so I pound a few with the boys and then they’ve got this shit that’s on fire but the fire’s purple but so like what the fuck and I get something called a curb stomp and that might be where I went wrong but anyway so me and Ian are outside wrestling and I’m punching him and he’s punching me and I punch him in the face and I hear this crack and I’m like oh shit I just fucked up his face forever bye so I’m running and the boys are chasing me and I think I lost them a few blocks ago? Who knows anyway I missed you.” His whole body began titling forward, and I put a hand on him to keep the pavement from flying upwards into his already sufficiently fucked face. “So, how many boys are there, total?” He counted on his fingers, muttering names to himself, lost count, swore, started again, and answered, “uhh… six?” Whilst contemplating my ability to somehow arrange the inconspicuous deaths of six people, what I had previously disregarded as over-vigorous rainfall turned to be foot steps fast encroaching. A man came into view from behind Cody, looking only half as frazzled but thrice as bloodthirsty. “HEY YOU! DEPRESSING HAIR GUY!” Cody’s eyes went wide as insert tired simile. He grabbed me by the shoulders. “I AM GOING TO DIE.” I took his wrist and bolted. I made it about five steps dragging him as a sack of half-blind whining meat before realizing we wouldn’t get anywhere. That he had managed to evade anyone at all was a miracle. The man tore Cody away from me and forced him against a wall by his neck. It all happened at once: I went for his eyes with my fingernails, he booted me in the shin, I took his ear in my teeth, he dropped Cody and kicked me in the ribs, I fell away with a bloody ear in my mouth, air having departed my lungs entirely. I thought sadly to myself, whoops Cody was right on this one. I clutched my ribs and curled up on the pavement. This massive pug-looking guy raised his foot to stomp the life from me when Cody’s fist emerged from the shadows like a hairy angel and, at the very least, distracted him momentarily. He recoiled his fist in pain, probably having shattered something if his agh! was any indicator. “I’m sorry. I’m very drunk and nerdy and skinny,” he said, wincing with every breath. Cody got himself socked in the gut. “Why are you doing this? I thought you didn’t like Ian.” “Your face annoys me. It’s a real punchable face.” Cody sighed. “Okay. I get it. So—” He stopped mid-sentence to vomit. The man raised his fist. “Nononowait! Just… thirty seconds. Oh my god. So, yeah, sorry about your shoes, and sorry about my face. It just came this way. And… you can punch it until it isn’t annoying, but please don’t hurt my dumb friend Ellen.” “Dude! She bit my ear off!” “Yeah, she’s really, really dumb. She’s so dumb that I bet she learned her lesson just from those ribs you broke. You don’t even need to break her legs or kill her. Also, she, like, only has one hand and stuff, and she’s like, super super short, so it wouldn’t really be a fair fight.” “You think I care?” Cody glanced down at me. “Ellen. Bernie. You gotta—” He was interrupted by another blow, but I took his meaning well enough. There was a scared little kid in danger out there, and this jowly cunt wasn’t going to stop me from finding him and then subsequently hugging him and never letting go again. I forced myself off the ground, drawing attention away from Cody long enough for him to just kick this dude right in the balls. He recoiled only just very briefly, which was nearly enough time to evade him, but not quite. He kneed Cody in the groin. I was on my feet and this point, and with a stroke of luck, managed to once again kick this dude in the balls before he plunged his fist into my gut. Everyone involved, at this point, was very angry and in pain. Unfortunately, drunk Cody lacked the manic superhuman strength of heroin Cody and even the admittedly subpar coordination of sober Cody, so our combined force didn’t amount to much. Fortunately, pug-boy’s testicles seemed to be in a pretty hefty state of distress, and I saw his determination begin to falter. Unfortunately, the pain only made him angrier, and the anger only made him punchier. “I’LL KILL YOU!” he screamed. I tugged Cody away. “You gotta run, dude,” I told him, as though it would persuade his balance to be more compliant. He tried his best. He really did. The large and shouting man was ever on our heels. I dug my fingers into Cody’s ridiculous flannel shirt and held on for (his) dear life. He stumbled on every slight abnormality in the sidewalk. Every bump, every crack, every shred of litter was a hurdle. In the seven years that we’d known each other, Cody had lost his glasses twice. Once after passing out at an otherwise underwhelming party to find them two days later sunk in a half-eaten nutrient slab, and the second time after accidentally leaving them at his then-girlfriend’s cell to retrieve them the following week when she finally found them behind her desk (one of many small unfortunate happenings that ultimately culminated in their breakup). Both times, their absence had put his life on halt. I swerved around a corner, dragging Cody, who’d become a tearful limping disaster. This wasn’t really the place to admit that I’d forgotten where I was. The hotel was definitely on the same plane of time and space as us, and if we were lucky, within the same ten mile radius, too. Finding it again was a matter of endurance and favour with our respective personal deities. Cody and I scrambled wildly from street to street, looping around familiar sign posts sometimes deliberately but sometimes definitely not deliberately and ultimately just getting ourselves more lost in an effort to lose slobbery hulking pug-boy. Cody was panting and heaving like he was in labour. I expected him to collapse at any moment, and I wasn’t entirely confident in my ability to lug around one hundred and twenty-four pounds of bored astigmatic stoner over my shoulders whilst also running for my life. As was to be expected at this point, a dumb idea occurred to me. I swerved into an alley, optimistically refusing to check over my shoulder, and flipped up the unfortunately crusty lid of a dumpster. “Hop over,” I said to a barely lucid Cody. His immediate reaction was to take advantage of the sudden interlude in our running to throw up. He had the good sense to wipe his mouth afterwards, at least. “What?” I slapped my hand against the dumpster in frustration. “The dumpster! Get it the dumpster!” He nodded slowly. “Dumpster… yeah… good thinking, Helen.” His eyes fluttered closed. I shook him by the shoulder. “I’m gonna boost you up, okay?” He nodded vigorously. “Boost me up, Scotty,” he said, drooling and struggling to keep awake. I clumsily took his foot with the one hand and propelled him upwards with all the strength of five determined meerkats. He tumbled into the dumpster like a sad domino made out of jelly. I followed after him and let the lid clatter shut over our heads, pinching my fingertips as it closed. “It’s dark and smelly in here,” whispered Cody. It was reassuring to hear that he hadn’t passed out. “It sure is, buddy.” “We have to find Bernie.” I took this matter very seriously. “Or die trying.” He patted his hand around until it landed on my shoulder. “Don’t die for a goat, Ella.” I shrugged. “Gotta die somehow.” He withdrew his hand. Time crawled by at a drugging pace. There wasn’t a comfortable way to sit in a dumpster. I waited, distracting myself with memories and hypotheticals, occasionally nudging Cody to make sure he wasn’t dead. After my awkwardly-positioned legs and the odd metal shape jutting into them became completely unbearable, I decided it was as good a time as any to leave. “Time to sneak out, huh?” It was hard to draw a coherent image of what his non-verbal cues might’ve been in the dark, but I assumed he was shrugging. “I guess,” he said. I slowly raised the dumpster lid. Cody’s arms flailed over the side and he dragged himself out, limbs moving in a fashion more akin to an octopus than a think-piece writer. “Oof,” he muttered, tailbone hitting the pavement. I followed after him, stopping to help him to his feet. “We’re good, right? Yeah. We’re good.” I glanced around, scanning every detail of our surroundings that wasn’t obscured by darkness. Maybe we weren’t good. There wasn’t really an effective metric by which to tell. “We’re so good,” I reassured him, making the mistake of patting him on the back. He shrunk away. “Agh! My ribs,” he whelped. “I’m so sorry. Oh my god. Are you okay?” He seemed stunned that I cared. “Uh… I guess I’m good.” He evidently was not good. “Like I said! We’re good! Totally good!” Cody pouted, lip trembling. He folded his arms and stared down at his feet. “I wanna go to bed,” he said, voice straining as is its wont before one breaks down into sobs. “I really just wanna go to bed. Where are we?” He sniffled and wiped his nose. “Everything hurts.” He kicked his toes into the side of the dumpster, biting back a sharp gasp of pain as the joints in his foot staggered and crunched. The dumpster didn’t seem to mind, much, at least. “I got beat up by so many different people. Is my face really that punchable?” Cody fixed his eyes on mine, waiting for an answer. His features were crusted with blood and tightened in just, like, the saddest frown. His already prominent eyebrows were spiked in odd directions by the fray and beaded with raindrops and sweat and blood. His busted lip had stopped bleeding but promised a scar that wouldn’t be, I don’t know, pleasant. The rainfall and the brawling had done nothing for an already unfortunate hair situation. The spots above his temples and on the back of his head where his hair had begun to abandon him entirely weren’t quite as obscured by the eccentric volume of the rest of his hair, having been flattened and soaked. The real essence of his punchability, I decided, came from his facial hair, which crawled all the way up his cheeks and down his neck and always looked vaguely unkempt in a flippant I don’t even care, I’m just so cool and aloof and stuff kind of way that really miffed some people. He just looked smug. And as long as we’re bashing Cody’s appearance, his ears were a little on the big side. On top of it all, he was naked without his glasses. Truly, the man who always resembled a sad, hipstery less-hairy ewok had become the saddest, hipsteriest less-hairy ewok ever to ewok sadly. He didn’t really need to hear all that. “Not at all.” Not to me, at least. “You’ve got a super normal face.” You’ve got weird eyebrows. I mean, I like ‘em, but, buddy… And your eyes are kinda sunken. “Don’t worry. You’re cute.” “I’m cute?” “Yes. Absolutely.” He sniffled. “But, like, just nerdy cute, right?” “Yeah. It’s the glasses.” “But I lost my glasses…” “That’s okay. You’re still stoner cute.” “Stoner cute isn’t a thing.” “Uh, yeah it is.” “Okay.” He took a deep breath. “Just, like, take a finger and fix your eyebrows.” He nodded and tried to smooth them into place. “Cool. Better.” I mean, his face was still bloody and swollen in places, but, eh. “Cool.” “Cool.” He sighed. “But, I’m not, like, hot, right?” “Eh.” He straightened his shirt. “Cool.” He swallowed another heavy breath to stop his quivering. “Cool cool.” Still unsure about his balance, I walked carefully and close so I needn’t reach far should he just, fuckin, like, fall right the fuck over. The buildings weren’t so unfamiliar now that they were more than just a blur in my periphery. We had made it more than a few blocks away from the hotel, but we hadn’t gotten ourselves as hopelessly lost as I had feared. We were just normal lost. “How bad’s your vision?” I asked. He looked down at me, face pale and still a little shell-shocked. “Like, bad.” “’Kay, but, like, bad bad or just straight fuckin blind.” “Uhh… I can’t read, can’t do details or things that are far away or things with small parts or operate machinery or coordinate well or grab things or write… uh… Actually, I probably could read if the letters were really big, but, uh, yeah. That’s it.” He would periodically reach to adjust glasses that weren’t there, dropping his hand sadly upon being reminded. Finding them became more immediately imperative than whatever other bullshit we were up to. Something to do with an organ harvester? Who knows. Bottom line was that Cody was, while not useless and still better company than no company (sixty percent of the time, at least), in very desperate need of his dumb thick-rimmed trendy-ten-years-ago glasses. “Can you still contact your optometrist guy?” “Optometrist? Dude, no, okay, shut up, it’s a good story, though, listen. So, I was walking… this was like, twelve years ago? Oh shit, I’m old… so, uh, I was walking… I already had glasses at this point, by the way. The school counsellor got me these shitty ones… anyway… So, I’m fourteen, walking on the docks, and there’s this bucket, and I’m like, oh a bucket, but then I got closer, and I was like, oh shit, this bucket is full of glasses. Mostly broken ones, right? So I’m trying them on, ‘cause, why not, and this guy starts yelling, ‘hey kid uuhhh so, like, that’s my bucket’ and he’s a scavenger, right? Because there’s like, also a bucket of shoes lying around and a bucket of tea strainers and whatever… So, I’m just grabbin a handful of not-broken glasses and running away because, like, I’ve just been coasting by at this point by cheating in school and I hold papers really close to my face… anyway… So, one of the pairs, like, work, I know, what the fuck, ayy, Mazel Tov, Cody can see. And, uh, yeah. I kept ‘em. Duh. The end. How have you not heard this story?” “I don’t ask you about—” “You don’t ask me about myself as much as you should,” he finished for me. He scoffed. “I dunno why, I’m preettyy interesting.” This wasn’t entirely true. The uh, me not asking him about himself part, not the him being interesting part. Actually, never mind, neither were entirely true. I felt like I knew more about Cody than anyone should know or care to know about Cody. There was a filing cabinet inside of my brain labeled ‘bullshit nonsense about Cody’s life’ take took up a vacancy once occupied by, who knows, how to negotiate a pay raise or how to budget properly instead of just hoarding money like a sad(der) Smaug. “You sure are, Cody.” “I bet that’s why I got beat up.” “Because you’re interesting?” “Because I’m interesting.” I nodded in agreement. That put a dumb short-lived smile on his face. He must’ve had some faith that I knew where I was going, since he didn’t seem to question it much. I was confident, perhaps (probably) over-confident in my sense of direction. It’s a finite space, I reasoned, and we can’t possible be getting further away. We could. In large, square-ish letters, the sign read INTERIM GARDEN HYPOTHESIS WAREHOUSE HOLE, flashing pink and accented with gold baubles. The door below was an archway woven with flowering vines and patterned ribbons, among them a smattering of just the most pretentious butterflies. The building itself was robed in an elaborate mural depicting a panel of dapperly-clothed animals seated at some sort of senate, all gathered below a three-eyed goat. The goat was crowned and sat upon a throne at the head of the senate floor. I felt viscerally unnerved. Cody squinted at the sign. “Yeah, don’t worry, it’s some Noam Chomsky magic realism boho nonsense,” I assured him. We’d arrived in some sort of strange hellish Halsey-esque plaza where the stores were either barren and abandoned à la zombie apocalypse or teeming with aesthetically-bohemian taken-back-by-the-earth-and-also-Portland life. Roses crept down from windows and thistles jutted upwards from cracks in the pavilion. Entrances were attended by delphiniums and hibiscus sprouting beneath fern umbrellas. Ventilation shafts sighed baby’s breath into the corridors and blew nettles amongst the ghosts and husks of furniture. Christmas bells hung from streetlights and lilacs pooled amidst a collapsed fountain. Geraniums and lavender and ominous oleander waved us towards the Warehouse Hole. It was all very eco-chic. Cody ventured further into the flowery nonsense strip mall. “The colourful stuff is flowers, right,” he said, unimpressed. Pink light glittered against the blood and rain that painted him. “This is dumb. Like…” He gestured wildly at everything. “This is dumb. Are we lost?” Yes. “Pfft. No.” “We’re gonna find my glasses, right?” he said, talking to a mannequin. “It’s our number one priority.” He stumbled trying to follow my voice. “Okay. Cool. Good.” “Are you gonna be okay?” “Who knows? Maybe.” I brushed my hand along a white bouquet of Star-of-Bethlehem. “You know what? Not a fan.” The flowers looked to be watching me leave, which was the opposite of an appropriate flower activity. “It’s bright, it’s spooky… not a fan. Uh, not on board with this one.” Cody lost his balance on a root curving up from the pavement, catching himself on a wayward clothing rack. “Haha. Walking: hard mode.” He puked into a corner of unsuspecting irises and daisies. Regaining his footing was a matter of crunching a broken window beneath his sneakers and nearly becoming impaled upon an unfortunately-positioned upturned signpost. “Ellen, uh, seriously, where are we?” Interim Garden Hypothesis Warehouse Hole. “A blanket fort of nonsense.” He staggered away from the broken glass. “Oh. I hate blanket forts.” Drawn by the flashing lights, he veered towards the entrance to the Hole. “Yeah, I don’t think we’ve been here. We’re lost, aren’t we? Uugggghhh, Elleeennn…” “We’re not lost! You can only get lost in the desert and in the ocean because everything looks the same. Everywhere else you can just backtrack.” “WE DON’T KNOW WHERE WE ARE!” “YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE!” “I’M LEGALLY BLIND!” I filled my lungs with pollen-dusted air, raising my hands in a calming arc, and sighed, ultimately doing nothing to lessen the tension. “Let’s just… go back the way we came, and figure it out from there.” “We’re going to the hotel, right?” “Hotel. Yes. Sleep. Then glasses.” I turned by back to the flowers, not without a pinch of regret that I wouldn’t sate my curiosity as to what the hell, I mean, just, like, what the hell, right? What’s going on here? The mural? What? Cody and I fumbled our way free of the Warehouse Hole pavilion. There seemed to be more flowers surrounding the exit than there’d been when it was our entrance. Watchful irises eyed our escape. The feeling of being spied upon lingered on the back of my neck. “Spooky, right?” “I don’t know, Ellen, my vision is shit right now, call back at a less shitty date, thanks.” The sign read ‘Zlotys St.’ but there was nothing zloty about it. A strange mingling of sprawling weeds and rain-freckled trash bags and masonry stained by a dazzling selection of mystery fluids coagulated, as it were, to form the district before us. Confused seagulls squawked overhead from the buzzing heads of streetlights. The first establishment past the plaza was a barber shop called Snippy’s which was attached to a laundromat called Swishy’s that itself was followed by a family-owned deli shop called Slicey’s. What humour! While the quirky fixtures of the city were as delightful as they were smelly, they remained unfamiliar and were of no help when it came to finding our way back. “You know, I should’ve bought a map,” I said, padding along, ducking beneath the odd awning to evade the rain. “You’re an idiot,” said Cody, who had had enough of life. “Nothing idiotic about being reflective of one’s past failings, amigo.” “You just never turn it off, do you?” “It’s called a coping mechanism, Cody. Look into one some time.” He sighed and picked up his pace, hand clutching his ribs as to, I assume, keep them from falling out of some open wound whose existence I wasn’t yet privy to. I caught up to him. “Are you good?” I asked. He remained visibly in pain. “I don’t know. No? Probably not. I just, ugh, I want to sleep it off, okay?” I frowned in pity at him. Whenever something adverse befell him on our dumb stupid completely necessary endeavour, I couldn’t escape my share of the blame. I was most worried in this moment that he’d finally gotten himself into a truly lethal pickle with those fisticuffs. Obviously, whatever happened, it was the boys’ fault, but obviously, it was really Cody’s own fault, but obviously, it was more than a little bit my fault for dragging him out here in the first place. “I know you’re gonna die no matter what and whatever, but I’d be pretty bummed if you died… soon…” “Thanks, I guess.” “So, please don’t die as a result of your injuries. The guilt would eat me alive, and it’s hard to effectively find a small, defenceless goat after you’ve been eaten alive.” “If you say don’t die or I’ll kill you, I will actually punch you.” Through the darkness and the downpour, it was hard to discern anything glaringly off about his appearance from the bored and tired norm. It was similarly hard to discern buildings we’d passed from ones we hadn’t. You could see the source of my predicament. I toyed with the prospect of returning to the Interim Garden Hypothesis Warehouse Hole for little reason beyond that it remained nearby and intriguing. “So, those flowers, huh?” I brought up out of nowhere. Cody scowled. “Hippies.” “But it was kinda neat, right? It was stupid—” “It was dumb as hell.” “…but kinda neat, though, right?” “I WANT TO GO TO BED.” I sighed and tugged my lips in a sympathetic smile. “Bed it is, Codes. Maybe tomorrow—” “Uugggghhhh, tomorrow suuucks.” “… after we find your glasses, we’ll, uh, we’ll pop by the warehouse.” The three-eyed-goat from the mural lingered on the back of my eyelids. Anything goat-related, at this point, seemed worth investigating. We turned a corner and Zlotys Street became a vaguely familiar cobbled road marked by a signpost that read Hellspring Rampart. To the right of us were brick-and-mortal buildings that stood as one long, undivided stretch of masonry, separated by interior walls rather than alleys. To the left was nothing but ocean. The sidewalk metamorphosed into the halfhearted suggestion of a pier underfoot. The black sky had waned into a dim grey and dawn loomed far off upon the waters. I knew Hellspring as the rickety cousin to the main docks where we’d arrived. I was confident that we were closer, now. “So, Codes…” “Ugh.” “What was the name of the club where you, uh… where you went?” “Uugghh… Uh… Okay. It’s called Boys Only Club, but it’s liiike, just the name. It’s not actually boys-only, right.” The whole situation was ruthlessly atypical of Cody. It was beyond strange for him to go out partying with strangers, let alone strangers of overbearing and loud masculinity. That was, until now, strictly my dominion. Of course, it was more than probable that the night’s unfortunate happenings had extinguished whatever curious appetite he might’ve had for the sort of debauchery he’d found. “How’d you end up there?” He scratched his head. “I probably walked.” “Yuh-huh. How’d you find, uh, the boys?” He made a sound that might’ve been a laugh, in a past life. “I have no idea!” His foot took a wrong turn and he nearly swerved into the ocean. I pulled him by his sleeve to my other side so I might act as a buffer between his shit balance and the sharks. “And what about, uh, those karaoke girls? What bar did you go to with them?” He gave me a long, condescending stare. “You think I know?” His glasses were lost as fuck. The brick buildings parted into the first alley we’d encountered for an irresponsibly long distance. It appeared as a long blue gash in the red walls. Banners and triangle flags and paper lanterns dangled on sagging strings overhead. A sign bolted in the bricks read LONG ALLEY. If you squinted, smaller letter inscribed below read *Beware rats; they’re not more afraid of you than you are of them. Quite the opposite, actually*. I shrugged at the warning. The end of the alley was bright and bustling, and the pier reached a dead end not far from where we stood. I decided on chancing the rats. Long Alley carried a thick, sickly, cinnamonny flavour in its breeze. Pipes coursed as veins along the walls, rusted and dripping. Cody trailed a hand on the bricks as he walked to keep from tripping again. The bricks soon gave way to doors and beaded archways into shops and things categorically near enough to shops to make no difference. Freckles of orange began to tinge the grey sky. “Hey Ellie,” said Cody with awkward, slow syllables. “What?” “You know what’s dumb?” “Probably.” “Well… I’ll tell you anyway…” He stopped, took hold of a low-hanging pipe, and threw it an accusing finger. “I can’t see or stand so good, but that is definitely a rat, and it is definitely following me.” The good and bad news was that he hadn’t been hallucinating from blood loss and exhaustion. The rat, a grotesque snow-white red-eyed creature of unusual size, glowered hungrily at Cody. It stood hunched on the rusted pipe, undaunted entirely by our presence per the foretelling of the sign. “Ohh, that’s a creepy baby right there,” I said, twiddling what few fingers I had in its direction. The rat stood still and stoic as a Buckingham Palace guard. “I don’t like you, pal. Don’t like those eyes,” Cody told the rat. “Go eat a cheese, ugly.” The rat wasn’t moved by his insults. “This is a nasty boy, Ellen. Let’s leave.” Cody shot the rat a venomous, knowing squint before shuffling along. The rat scurried across the pipes, following like a magnet. As we drew nearer to the end of the alley, more rats began to spring from the pipes and cracks in the mortar. Cody kept to the middlemost point between the walls, arms crossed crossly. Soon flowers began to wind down from the cracks as well, one for every new rat that bounded into view. My skin crawled. The alley spat us out into an overgrown pavilion bathed in the flashing pink light of INTERIM GARDEN HYPOTHESIS WAREHOUSE HOLE.

[kyouxa]

Diabolik lovers Lunatic Parade: Shu Sakamaki (Chapter 3)

Can I get a massage too?(๑•́ω•̀)  Honestly, if anyone still has someone they want me to translate from Lunatic Parade in the future please type an anon ask and I will definitely see it! **Disclaimer: だるい = Darui (I wrote 『bothersome』 instead of it’s actual meaning “dull or sluggish” because I felt like it sounded more like Shu so please don’t yeet at me, thanks)

Monologue

"Healing Rigel-sama who lost his love and closed his heart''

The mission of preparing a party for him began.

I want to make a place where he can remember the good memories of himself and his wife.

I want to do whatever I can do to make exactly that happen—

Place: Hotel Mondstein — Guest room

Yui: (First of all, we somehow have to find the perfect venue)

Shu-san.

Where do you think would be a good place for Rigel-sama to remember his time with his wife?

Shu: Oh... what about the gondola station?

Yui: The gondola station... really... ?

Shu: If the information from the familiar are correct, then Rigel and his wife met each other there.

It seems that it had happened during the parade.

If you want to bring him to a place of good memories, I think this would good timing.

Yui: That’s right... ! I will talk to the owner right away. Please wait here!

Shu: ...Hey, wait a moment.

*Shu comes closer*

Shu: Are you really going alone?

Yui: Oh, umm... I don‘t want Shu-san to move for me because I know it’s bothersome for you...

Shu: Oh, I might change my mind. It‘s bothersome.

But... I‘ll go.

Yui: Is that okay for you?

Shu: Yes. Let’s go before I change my mind again.

Place: Demon world — Gondola landing

Yui: (The Illumination is reflected on the surface of the water and it sparkles... how beautiful)

If they really met in such a place, it will surely be a good memory for him.

Shu: — It would be bad if he’d remember something he didn’t want to.

You were the one who was scared of me at the beginning as well.

Yui: T-That was... Yes, that’s actually right...

But all of those things turned out to be good memories for me now.

Shu: Well... that’s fine for me... haha

— Now

If you want this as the party venue, you should talk the Gondolier in the back for permission.

Yui: Yes, understood!

(Okay, let‘s go and ask him)

Place: Demon world — Rubin canal

Gondolier B: Welcome! Are the two people of you goin‘ on a ride?

Yui: Oh... um...

I'm sorry we don’t, in fact, we came here because there was something we wanted to ask you.

Gondolier B: Ask me... ?

Yui: Yup.

Actually, we are planing on throwing a party...

And I would like to borrow this place as the venue for it.

Gondolier B: Heh!? You want to throw a party here!?

Yui: Yes. It really needs to be this certain place.

Gondolier B: Even if you say that. There are many customers durin‘ the parade and it’s my time to earn money.

Yup, that is the point, that’s why I can’t reply easily to you.

Yui: Th-That‘s right...

(No matter how much I beg it probably still will be unreasonable, right?)

(But there is no better place for us to hold the party for Rigel-sama than here...)

Gondolier B: It’s bad, but I’m busy today. Come early tomorr-

Shu: ....*yawns*

Gondolier B: ..... ! Y-You are... Karlheinz-sama's...

Whaat! You should have said it way earlier.

Okay, you can hold the party on the gondola and do anything. I’ll excuse my bad and awkward behavior.

That’s why... you should tell your father from me.

Shu: Well, if I feel like it.

Yui: (... W-Wow... it was really as I expected)

Place: Demon world — Gondola landing

Shu: Haa... I was able to secure this place.

Now, what’s next?

Yui: Umm...

The next thing should be necessary as well which contains food and drinks.

I'm mainly wondering if I can ask someone from the hotel ...

But I‘d like to arrange a special dish that he maybe ate with his wife in the past.

Shu: There certainly were informations from the familiar that they both liked sweet things.

Yui: Yes. I really liked the store "Garette de Loire" in the human world...

Why aren’t we going to a sweetshop in the Demon world that makes the same?

Shu: ... I don’t mind it, so let’s go.

Yui: (Fufu, I’m glad that you’re coming with me properly while saying something like that)

Place: Demon world — Zafia confectionery store

Vampire woman A: Wow, it looks delicious! As expected from the Makai-no saffir candy store!

Vampire woman B: It’s really hard to move to a different flavor from one day to another day. I honestly want to eat them all ...

Vampire man C: If this is what we all are thinking about, I‘ll pick everything from the left side today.

Yui: (Wow... it‘s very crowded... just moving around is already difficult...)

Shu: .....

You were the one wanting to come here. I am... sleeping over there.

*Shu leaves*

Yui: (Nn... he is just hiding himself in the eat-in corner...)

(I know that it surely is painful to get through this crowd)

(But I‘d like to talk to the shop staff as soon as possible...)

???: There! Look at this, look at this! The cake will be passing through!

Vampire woman A: Ah, the Manager! This smell... oh it’s really unbearable!

Yui: (That’s the store manager! Alright, let’s try talking a little... !)

Oh, uhm! I‘m sorry!

Confectionery restaurant manager: Hmm? What’s the matter? I'm currently really in a hurry, come back later!

Yui: Please wait, just a little! I have some sweets that I want to order on the last day of the parade ...

Confectionery restaurant manager: Order on the last day? That’s impossible! I'm particularly busy now and now you ask me to borrow my hand!

Ahh I’m super busy! Busy! I‘m drowning in work already!

Yui: (Such...)

I-If thats so...

Please let me help you! I-I will do my best!

Confectionery restaurant manager: That’s impossible! That’s indeed impossible.

*More costumers come in*

Confectionery restaurant manager: You! If you ask for help, please do so!

It’s okay even if I think about the previous case!

Yui: Huh? Y-Yes! Understood!

(I‘ll try my best to help out!)

Vampire woman D: From this cake, I‘d like to have three more slices.

Yui: Y-Yes!

Vampire woman E: Hold on! I was lined up first! First of all, give me four of these!

Yui: (That‘s hard! I‘m already busy now... !)

Shu: .....

*yawns* ...

Yui: (Oh... Shu-san seems to have woken up)

Shu: ... Just what are you doing?

Yui: As you can see, I’m helping out in this store.

Vampire woman A: The clerk there! Stop talking!

Yui: Aye!

(Agh!? The tableware got broken!)

Shu: Need help? With this?

Yui: (Uhh... I first of all I need to clean that up!)

Shu: Oh my... you really need help ...

Yui: (Hm, where did Shu-san go... ?)

Vampire woman A: Uhh, I'd like to have one pie with a modest sweetness if possible ...

Which one is better ...

Shu: ... How about this one here? The sugar is modest and the sweetness of the fruits stands out.

Vampire woman A: Oh, so you know about it.

Yui: (Wow...)

Vampire woman A: Yeah okay... I'll get this one which was recommended.

Shu: Thanks

Well... that’s how it should be.

Yui: That was amazing Shu-san! The customer was also overjoyed!

Shu: I would say, I‘ll do this never agai—

*More costumers arrive*

Vampire woman B: I heard that there is a shop assistants here who is familiar with cakes?

Vampire woman C: Could I maybe have a recommendation as well~?

Vampire woman B: Perhaps are you the managers brother!?

Vampire woman E: It‘s officially decided!

Yui: (Uhh... they really like it)

Shu: .....

To go back to sleep... I can just dream about it.

Yui: (Fufu...)

*time passed*

Confectionery restaurant manager: Yeehaw! Thank you very much for today! You two were great help!

I really need to show my appreciation...

Let me hear the story of the candy that you wanted me to make.

Yui: I-Is that okay?

Confectionery restaurant manager: Sure!

Whether it's the last day of the parade or not, as the store manager, I'll promise to do it!

Yui: (I did it!)

Confectionery restaurant manager: So? What kind of candy is it?

Yui: Uhh—

*time passed*

Confectionery restaurant manager: Then I will think of something special to make it for you.

Look forward to see it on the last day of the parade.

Yui: Thank you!

Place: Demon world — Glimmer Main Street

Yui: We did it thanks to you Shu-san. Thank you very much.

Shu: It was only because of my hard work... Haa...

— So? What’s the next thing? The preparations are not over yet, right?

Yui: Um, what about the gondola decoration?

I really want to decorate it nicely for him.

Shu: Then ... I think the "Reine • de • Azi" store is good.

Yui: "Reine • de • Azi"... ?

Shu: You will understand once we go there. Follow me.

Yui: (..... ?)

Place: Demon world — Reine • de • Aji store

Yui: (Wow! There are lots of beautiful ornaments ...!)

(I cant even decide what to pick)

What kind of decoration do you think would look good?

Shu: There’s no matter what you pick. There is no particular commitment anyway.

But, rather than the decoration I’d like to—

Yui: (Oh... there’s an old antique violin laying there)

*Shu plays some tones*

Shu: I think music would be more important for the party.

Yui: That may be true

Oh ... I know we got a lot to do, but what about Shu-san playing something?

Shu: No. It‘s bothersome.

Yui: (Ah, I thought that he would say that ...)

... But I really want to hear Shu-san’s violin skills after a long time.

Shu: .....

Yui: Is that a no?

Shu: Haa... maybe just a little

.....

*Shu starts playing*

Yui: (Those really are beautiful tones...)

*someone comes closer*

Shu: ...Who?

???: .....

Shu: Aji, is that you?

Yui: (So you mean, this is Aji?)

Reine • de • Aji: ...What is the eldest son of the Sakamaki family doing in such a place?

Shu: There is no need to explain myself. It doesn’t matter to you anyways.

Reine • de • Aji: Hmph... if you don’t want to answer, I don’t want to sell anything either.

Yui: (T-That‘s bad... !)

Aji-sama! Actually, we will throw a party for a certain person...

That’s why we came here to buy some decorations for that time.

Reine • de • Aji: ...I see...

Well, I’ll believe that this is really the exact reason why you two came to my store.

Because there is an abundant product lineup...

There is something really special I have.

Here, this is it.

Yui: A rocket pendant... ?

Reine • de • Aji: It’s not just a pendant

If you put a picture of someone in this, the person wearing the pendant will become a special substitute which makes them become that person.

Yui: T-That’s amazing!

(Now... that means we just have to put a picture of Rigel-sama's wife in there)

Reine • de • Aji: Well, this was just to show you. I’ll clean up, clean up now.

Yui: Ah! Please wait! Could you please lend me the pendant?

Reine • de • Aji: You want me to lend this?

Even if you say that...

Yui: Could you please lend it to me... ?

Reine • de • Aji: .....

Then there is one condition.

Instead of lending this pendant, you should bring Reine de Aji something more enjoyable than this.

Yui: ... Aji-sama... ?

Reine • de • Aji: If you can‘t think about something. Then what are you going to do?

Yui: P-Please let me do it! I will really do my best!

Place: Glimmer street — Eisen alley

Yui: (I have may have responded too vigorously... )

How do you think Aji-sama would be pleased?

Shu: .....

Yui: Shu-san?

Shu: Well... thinking about it, is that pendant necessary in the first place?

Yui: (I know you don’t feel like it‘s necessary. But...)

I‘m pretty sure Rigel-sama would be highly pleased by it.

Shu: .....

... Well, I understand it if you say it like that.

Anyway, we should go and ask some passengers in the city about what Aji could possibly like.

Yui: Y-Yes... !

Place: Demon world — Glimmer Main Street

Vampire man A: Hmm... to be suddenly asked something like that

Yui: Anything is fine. Any trivial thing...

Vampire man A: .....

Yui: .....

Vampire man A: I‘m sorry, but I don‘t know. You should ask others.

Yui: ... okay... thank you

Vampire man A: See you

Shu: *yawns* ... This was our 10th time already... what will you do? Have you given up?

Yui: ... No, I did not. I think we just need to change the place. I‘m sure it‘s that...

(I‘ll do my best without worrying about anything!)

Place: Glimmer Main Street — Front wagons

Yui: (There is even more traffic than before now. Someone in here must know something)

(Okay... ! Let‘s ask that person at first)

Excuse me... ! I‘d like to ask you a little question...

Vampire man B: ... Oh. What do you want?

Yui: Do you know Aji-sama‘s store on the other side of the street?

Vampire man B: Yes, I know it.

Yui: Actually, we want to please her... do you know any good treasure she‘d want?

Vampire man B: .....

... hmm...

Yui: (Maybe this time... !)

Vampire man B: I‘m sorry, but I don‘t think I can help you.

Yui: ... Oh, uhm, is that so...

Vampire man B: .....

The only thing that I know is... that she grows plants as her hobby

Yui: ... growing... plants?

Vampire man B: Yeah.... well then, i‘m sorry to rush off but I have a meeting

Yui: T-Thank you very much!

(Plants, huh...)

That’s it Shu-san. What about giving a special plant to Aji-sama?

Shu: ... I got no idea. I don‘t know if she really would be pleased or not either.

Yui: But, now we can at least rely on this kind of information we got...

Are there any shops around here that sell exotic plants?

Shu: Well, there are some.

Yui: (Okay... ! let‘s go then!)

Place: Demon World — Horticultual Shop

Yui: That place is...

(There are a lot of plants that I haven‘t even seen before!)

... Wow...

Shu: Not really. There are just pretty common plants for the demon world. I don’t think Aji would be pleased by any of them.

In other words... did I really just waste my time on walking here?

Yui: I-I‘m sorry...

(Hmm... we‘re in trouble. We once again need to start from the beginning)

???: ... Hmm? Welcome, dear customers.

Soun store owner: If you‘re looking for something don‘t hesitate to ask me, I‘m the owner of this store. 

Yui: Thank you very much. 

Soun store owner: Because it is only a boasting that you probably don‘t know anything about the flowers in the demon world. 

Yui: ... That‘s right...

Which kind of flower would you give someone from the Demon world to please them with?

Soun store owner: All different kinds could make each person happy.

But... if you surely want to please everyone, the "ARE" flower would be the best.

Yui: "ARE"?

Soun store owner: Exactly. "ARE" is only blooming on the mountains. 

Yui: It blooms only on the mountains... which part of the mountains is it?

Soun store owner: Don’t tell me... are you going to look for it?

Yui: If anyone would be pleased to get this kind of flower, I‘d like to go there if possible. 

Soun store owner: I see

But I think it’s a shame, because it is quite difficult to get.

... Well, you will see for yourself once you get there. I‘ll show you the way on the map then...

Yui: (What does he mean?)

Place: Mine site — Entrance

Yui: (Um... i‘m surely we‘re close... next is the left...)

Place: Mine site — Underground lake

Shu: Hey... haven‘t we arrived yet?

Yui: Please wait. I think we‘re close to be there...

According to the map, there should be a cave around here.

Shu: Cave?

Isn‘t it this one?

Yui: Ah... !

Shu: Oh my. You were so focused on the map you couldn‘t even see what was around us. 

Well, that is why it is not so hard to get lost while walking with no directions.

Let‘s go there quickly.

Yui: Y-Yes!

Place: Mine site — Selenite Crystal Cave

Yui: (Wow... somehow everything is sparkling...)

What is this... ?

Shu: It is a selenite. It seems that the cave was made out of it.

Yui: ... I see...

Shu: Hey, watch where you walk. Let’s go and search for the flower.

Yui: I agree

(In particularly, the store owner didn’t tell me anything about the flower)

(He just said that it would be in a spot where you couldn’t easily discover it...)

... Uhh...

..... ?

(I don‘t get it... where could it be?)

Shu: ... Oh. Hey, that’s probably it. I saw something glowing at the back. 

Yui: Let‘s go 

Monologue

It was a mysterious flower that we found on the other side.

It is in full bloom all around, giving off a warm light like a firefly that shines in the darkness. It’s so beautiful that I can‘t even believe it. 

I reached out for the petals. However—

Place: Mine site — Selenite Crystal Cave

Yui: (Beautiful...)

Shu: This one seems to be a ghost flower.

Yui: Ghost flower?

Shu: Yes. It is a ghost-like flower that cannot be touched.

Yui: (That means it would disappear if I touch it) 

(But... it really is beautiful. If you look at it, you really feel like as if it could make everyone happy)

(Including Aji-sama...)

... Now, Shu-san. Can you somehow carry this to Aji-san?

Shu: ... Haa...

You don‘t seem to give up, why don‘t you try it yourself?

Yui: (Uhh, this is... would it be okay for me to have it for awhile... ?)

(I will definitely try to think of something to get it out of here... !)

*time passed*

Yui: Ahh... another failure...

(No matter how gently I touch it, I can't change it‘s position to pick it up)

(I wonder if it is impossible ...)

Shu: *yawns*...

Yui: (Shu-san seems to be listening to music and yet he also seems bored ...)

(But ... I‘ll try it just one more time)

(It disappears if I touch it, so I should be careful ...)

(Then, why don't you scoop the whole soil instead?)

(Once again... okay... !)

.... ! Look at it Shu-san! The flower is still remaining without disappearing!

Shu: Seems like it.

Yui: Now we can take it back to Aji-sama ...!  Oh, that is good!

Shu: .....

No, it wouldn’t remain that long.

Lay it down and wait a moment.

Yui: ..... ?

*time passed*

Yui: (How long should I wait? It’s already been over 5 minutes later)

Shu-san this is really—

*flower begins to disappear*

Yui: Kya!

Shu: …I knew it.

The gardener would have done the same if the whole soil was solved.

Yui: Th-That might be right...

(But like this we won‘t return to Aji-sama’s shop in 5min)

After all it is impossible...

Shu: ...No, that is not the case.

Yui: Eh... ?

Shu: I will ask you again... Do you really want to borrow that pendant?

Yui: I uhh... of course I want!

Shu: Then I will help. 

— Hey, take the ghost flower from the soil again.

Yui: Y-Yes

(What exactly is he planing? Anyway, I will believe in Shu-san ...)

I did it.

Shu: Okay. And then...

Yui: (What will you do by picking up a stone ...?)

Shu: How about this— !

*bats flying around*

Yui: Kya!? There are bats!?

(I was surprised by the sounds the stone made! That's where the bats hide—)

*Shu hugged Yui*

Yui: Shu-san!? Just what are you... !?

Shu: If you give these guys 5 minutes, they will immediately bring us to the store.

Yui: I see—

— Wait, they what!?

Shu: Wake me up once we arrived.

.....

Yui: (Shu-san really is like that...)

(O-Okay. If nothing happens, we really can make it just in time)

Monologue

I made up my mind and decided to be quietly transported by the bats.

A quick glance over the ground showed that the parade continued.

If the Earl just didn’t stole my heart, I would go there with Shu-san as well... Such thoughts went beyond my mind.

I shook my head, cut off my thoughts and continued to pray that the ghost flower in my hands would not disappear.

Place: Demon world — Reine • de • Aji store

Yui: (I managed to arrive before the ghost flower disappeared!)

Shu-san! Please wake up! We arrived at the store!!

Shu: Nn... *yawns*...

We got here too fast. I want to sleep a little more... 

Yui: Aji-sama might be able—

Reine • de • Aji: What is that fuss all about!?

Yui: Oh, Aji-sama!

Reine • de • Aji: It‘s you ...!  Are you feeling like breaking my store in the anger of me not lending the pendant to you!?

Yui: N-No, that’s not it!

Please look at this! We wanted Aji-sama to be happy ...

Reine • de • Aji: Th-This is... it is a ghost flower... 

It is a special phantom flower that I‘ve heard a lot about, but I’ve never seen one before...

Yui: (Oh, it disappeared...)

Reine • de • Aji: .....

Yui: (What should I do? Even if the bats helped us out I still couldn’t make it...)

(And now... it just disappeared...)

Reine • de • Aji: This just now was not a vision. I really saw a real ghost flower. I am …

It's completely fine, because I was able to see such a kind of flower in my store.

Did you really bother yourself to bring this to me?

Yui: I wanted you to be pleased ... but I'm sorry I could only show it to you a little...

Reine • de • Aji: It’s fine. I enjoyed it enough.

Besides, the flowers are beautiful because they die.

— Thank you. I am very pleased with this.

Yui: (T-Thats good! We did it...)

Reine • de • Aji: About the earlier story...

I‘ll surely lend you the pendant.

Yui: T-Thank you!

(I got it!)

Reine • de • Aji: There... the Sakamki one.

Shu: ...*yawns*

Reine • de • Aji: I honestly thought you guys would actually quickly give up on it.  

But, you somehow managed to make me happy. Especially this young girl.

... This child really shows a lot of joy and happiness.

You really chose a nice partner. As expected from the eldest son of the Sakamaki family.

Shu: Thank you.

Yui: (Did his personality... just change? He may be a little shy after all)

Place: Hotel Mondstein — Guest room

Yui: (If you put a photo in this pendant and wear it, you can become that person)

(It's really strange when you think about it again.)

Anyway ... It looks like the party is fully organized now.

Shu: Yes

But ... you forgot one important thing.

Yui: What is it... ?

(What could he mean with "important"?)

We have a place, cake, and a surprise ...  maybe…

Shu: .....

Yui: Maybe... ?

Shu: Haa... 

Yui: Oh, uhm... would you mind telling me what I forgot to prepare?

Shu: Oh my...

*Shu comes closer*

— My effort

Yui: Yes?

Shu: Reward me.

Who do you think has prepared everything so far?

Yui: (From the beginning with the Gondola, it was impossible to proceed with everything without Shu-san's help)

Shu-san. Thank you very much for today.

I'm sorry for saying this so late.

Shu: Words are not enough.

If I don’t accept, then ... what else would you do?

Why don’t you ask me for something special once in a while?

Yui: Uhh...

(... what I can do ...)

Choices 

1) — Massage Shu-san♡♡♡

2) — Write a letter of thanks

— Massage Shu-san♡

Yui: ... Oh, yes!

What about... giving you a massage?

Shu: Massage...

Yui: (Uh, I’m sure he feels exhausted)

Shu-san, you really worked hard today and that’s when a massage would be good.

Shu: Haha ... It might be good occasionally.  Would you really like to do it then?

Yui: Y-Yes...

Shu: ...Hey. I honestly wouldn’t call this a massage. Try it with more passion.

Yui: Understood.

Shu: ... Hmm...

— Write a letter of appreciation

Yui: Then ...  what about writing a letter of appreciation?

Like this I could show my appreciation in clear words...

Shu: .....

Yui: (Oh, he doesn’t look amazed)

Shu: Haa ... I'll just take what you said.

Yui: Yes...

(I wonder if it would have been much better to give him a massage ...)

(Let's do it next time)

end Choices 

Yui: (In any case ... It was good that the party proceeded safely)

(Oh ... but ...)

(Shu-san, he didn’t really like the idea of the pendant)

(I wonder what’s the reason behind it?)