#if bj has no fans i am Dead

[honey--wraith]

fuck it bj thirst edit

[itsaship-literally]

It’s A Ship - Literally Revisited

As many of my long-time followers and friends know…

THIS BLOG supports the POTENTIAL FUTURE of Beetlejuice and Lydia.

In the past, I have written posts about WHY we ship Beej and Lyds, specifically here on this blog, when there are so many controversies. It needed to be cleared up many times because, with every new piece of media, there comes opposition, which is totally understandable if you are not used to supernatural or horror-themed romance tropes.

I am here to help break it down for all the new fans sitting back and trying to figure out the ship's where, what, why and whens.

Here we go!

Movie verse:

Many of us were young when we met Beetlejuice and Lydia for the first time. Some latched on to and related to a young Winona Ryder. It was a vibe, and while we are well aware that in real-life terms, a teen is not ready to be involved with a 600+ ghost (cuz that’s an option 🤣), we couldn't help but find the allure in the Living Meets Death dichotomy. As you will undoubtedly see, this is a running theme in the fandom.

We had countless reunion fics featuring an older Lydia (sometimes by years, sometimes by months) reconnecting with her villain/antagonist. Many were dark fic, some light and fluffy and some off the wall chaotic, while some crossed over into the MoToon verse (yes that is a thing)

So here we are, more than 30 years later, and our pair reunited legitimately on the big screen. It was beautiful and, without giving away any spoilers since this new piece of media is still fresh, it gives us more to play with because, let’s face it, he is not done haunting her.

With this movie universe, there is still potential for this ship to thrive. (And that’s not just because Winona and Michael are down. I still am in shock over their revelations)

Toon Verse:

Yet another oldie that many grew up on. This one is a hotbed for both friend-shipping and Relation-shipping.

Here, we have a long-term bond that can be wholesome, platonic, romantic, complicated, or, on occasion, dark and twisted.

Stories have ranged from childhood crushes to outright possessiveness. The fanart from cute fluff to… well… rule 34.

Lydia is young in this cartoon. We are aware of that and in any cartoon fandom, aging up is par for the course. It is expected (and preferred by many) that any stories of romance happen in circumstances outside of the toon cannon.

Age issues aside, we cannot deny that BJ adores her. The man has an entire shrine in his head, idolizing this twisted, weird girl that, once again, many older fans related to. He would do anything for her and has proved it many times. The chaotic dead man with no shits to give will give up freedom and wealth and go against his nature to make her happy.

How can we not find the potential for a future of these two goofballs?

Musical Verse:

This universe combined the goofiness of Toon with the antagonism of the movie—a nice combo that I and those we call MusicalBabes enjoy.

Regardless of what the cast believes or feels about the shipping subject, they are working with a pair of unseen, attention-starved, chaotic nut jobs—a compliment, not disparagement.

Beetlejuice and Lydia need each other. They were miserable before they met and would have continued to be so had they not entangled themselves in the other’s existence.

Living and the dead, once again, need each other to balance their lonliness.

Does musical verse have ship potential? Hell, yes, it does. (Also, this is the only piece of media where the wedding actually went through)

Just a few Common Tropes In This Ship: (there are so many more than this)

Mayfly/December Romance (also see: May/December and Age Gap)

Reincarnation Romance

Death and the Maiden (also see: Monster and the Maiden)

Beast and Beauty

Ugly Guy, Hot Wife

Boy meets Ghoul

Why the name Beetlebabes?

Read: Beetlebabes: A History

To find more ship related content use: Beetlejuice x Lydia, Betelyds (alt. Beetlyds), Beej and Lyds, Beetle and Babes, Beetz and Deetz (or more simply Beetz) are the original ship names. BeetleBabes, MovieBabes, ToonBabes and MusicalBabes are all relatively new.

This blog often uses Beetlebabes but it’s not a hard fast rule that it will be on every post.

The goal of Its A Ship - Literally...

I created this blog many years ago (around 2016) to collect all the goodness in the fandom. Memes, art, fics, fan theories. I picked up the ship names and used them as tags. Gathered as much as I could from Tumblr posts, in all universes, and tried so hard to stay neutral amidst the internal fandom drama. (give or take a few misteps, iykyk)

The only goal I have here is to collect and share and boost all universes. Movie, Toon and Musical, including the mini verses of MoToon and Graveyard Revue if I can find it.

I do this for fun, to destress and play internet magpie with shiny beetle stuff while I stuff everything into the queue.

Lots of love to you guys. And as always, please show love to your fan creators. Credit them and boost the signals. These creators do so much hard work.

- 🪲 - 🪲 - 🪲 - 🪲 - 🪲 -

Previous Posts Like This: Because It Needs to Be Said Yet Again (2017) | One More Time (2019)

[saltymothball]

my unpopular takes on beetlejuice beetlejuice SPOILERS!! (long post)

(i am a fan of the original pls do not come for me) these are just my thoughts on the sequel :D please feel free to add yours too

context! im writing these notes as i watch so theyre a little disorganized

for reference i also rewatched the original immediately prior to the sequel

not opening with the classic beetlejuice muisic ?? even the stage show opens with that music where is it (EDIT- restarted it and it actually does open w the music, but it is much less fun/campy an and more of a spooky remix so i forgot)

its not plot necessary but i do wish we learned how BJ fixed his shrunken head and death by sandworm

where are the maitlands ???? 0 mention of adam and barbra at the beginning ?

BJ's ex wife intro was a very creative concept but i wish they did it with more sfx props and less cgi/green screen

Astrid is like very boring, theyve done nothing to get the audience (me) invested in her?? disney wish vibes like who is she

call it a headcanon i feel like lydia wouldnt be this fucking awkward of a parent ?? she had good role models ie adam and barbra (even if her own parents werent as active, by the end of the original movie it implied they were now living in a healthy family dynamic

the mother daughter drama feels really forced, reminds me of the out-of-place tension between wednesday and morticia in the 2023 show

all angles are super close up and feel like horror angles. the scene where astrid befriends that boy ?? felt like someone was gonna come up and kill them the ENTIRE interaction (edit i guess that makes sense but it nerfed the scene)

IMMEDIATELY knew his parents are dead btw. not showing their faces is so clearly they are dead. not an ounce of mystery. theory the boy might be a ghost too?

theory astrids dad isnt dead bc Lydia cant see him

the witching hour wrong ?? last i knew it was 3am not 12am. weird thing to get wrong

its like not a silly campy vibe ?? its like uncomfortable.

dont like lydias new man hes pushy and gross

i miss adam and barbra

it doesnt make sense that no one taking lydia seriously ? delia knows she can see ghosts and has also experienced beetlejuice

lydias fiance is a horrid excuse for a partner (how tf did she meet him like did he just walk in bc the plot needed another person to hate lydia

not the dead protester joke :(

the spill-your-guts/pregnancy felt really idk,,, icky??? dont know how to explain it but it uncomfortably long

follow up- a lot of the visual ghost gags felt very gross/gorey ? like in the original movie the gags were inbetween silly/sexual/spooky-but this one feels more like blood and guts instead of spiders and snakes. exhibit A) otho casually shoving corpse barbra out of the way when looking at the closet with delia / exhibit b) the guy with the cigarettes at the end of the original

theory that astrid is going to end up seeing ghosts by the end of the movie

love the "eeee!" noise BJ makes when people say his name

ok BJ with the guitar after lydia tells him off was legitimately funny

i know astrid is an angsty teen but my god she is so hostile towards lydia

calling it at 56mins the boys parents are SO dead bc they deliberately didnt have lydia meet them

listen i have nothing against jenna ortega but it feels like she is type-casted to play exactly one character now, like let the girl play something other than a monotone gothy teen

"they found a loophole and moved on" okay whatever that means

astrids awkwardness w this ghost boy is pretty cute. he is so definitely a ghost though

yup called it hes a ghost

"my mom was telling the truth... shit" lmao

this boy feels very sus bc why are you trying to bribe her w her father

still no info on how lydia and rory met ??

MURDER HOUSE ?? TH BOY IS A MURDERER ??? okay thats a good twist ill give them that

astrid going into the afterlife to see her dad feels very "lydia going to the afterlife to see her mom" plot from the stage show ?

astrid honey you have too much faith in this ghost boy

oh my fucking god delia did you really get poisonous snakes....so on brand for her

Beetlegeuse literally carrying the whole movie

every scene he's in is absolutely giving

william dafoe is pretty good too but adding him just feels like he is william dafoe and not the character hes playing (who is also an actor)

delia correcting herself from saying fuck is really funny like girl was that scripted

okay ok astrd seeing her dad working in immigration was pretty neat

i had actually forgotten abt BJs ex wife until now ? doesnt seem like she actually adds much to the story beyond giving BJ a new reason to pursue lydia... which he was already doing...?

are they all going to end up in the afterlfe wtf

the afterlife desert takes place on the fucking moon of saturn ?? okay

is it just me or is the sandworm not claymation... like maybe its just the way it looks but i swear it looks like they cgi'd it but then cut down the frame rate

damn lydias husband really got eaten by piranhas.. what a way to die oh my god

there was no real stakes to astrid switching her soul? they resolved that so fast like lydia just grabbed her and they ran

oh their husband/dad is back now everything is fixed...? like all that hate towards her mom is now gone bc her mom was telling the truth about seeing ghosts? dad just resolved the only conflict

beetlejuice didnt even help get astrid back he went on a pee break and the plot progressed

love bad cop william defoe

"are you filled with fear and trembling?" "yes im shitting my pants" absolutely gold

BJ on fetchquests this whole movie fr

the soul sucking lady please she ate bobs nametag :(

ok wtf they really solved ghost boy dilemma in 5 seconds, BJ ex machina... like he rlly just got him like that ??? anticlimactic

ok good astrid apologized for being a shitty kid

rory please stop kissing lydias neck

i kind of hate the modern nods like the self securing seatbelt in the priests car, or the influencers at the wedding, really weird unnecessary detail

BJ and Delia wedding crashers my fav

how did Beetlejuice get into the church ? if he is a demon like previously established, shouldnt he NOT be able to step on holy ground

enjoyed the slapstick moment of lydia punching rory, good moment

her red dress omg !! pretty

BJ himself is just too funny, making the priest sing top tier

i still miss adam and barbra :( if they can cgi that dead guy in star wars i think we couldve brought alec baldwin and geena davis who are in fact still very alive and look great

they really didnt make me interested in BJs ex wife other than she is pretty and looks like morticia addams ?

BJ making everybody partake in singing is very silly

everybody dancing at the wedding scene must have been fun to film, everybody looks like theyre jamming

lmao whos dog was that in the hallucinations ?? is that the dog who killed the maitlands

"ghoul squad" ok monster high

oh finally his ex is here

lydia so casually pushed out of the way lmao

why does BJ have more etherial powers than every other ghost?

offering rory to the soul sucking lady is so good

theyre really just gonna sandworm for the plot resolution again ???

his ex wife was a threat for all of 4 seconds

lol the legal marriage loophole was kinda funny

is delia like forever dead ? is she a ghost now? is beetlejuice dead?

i still love delia. "i will find charles and we will haunt you both" good for her

are the influencer wedding guests dead

everything got wrapped up very quickly

good on delia for still loving her husband even though that shark absolutely annihilated him

what ?? astrid is married now???

WHAT ??? SHES GIVING BIRTH ?????

oh ok its a dream

having a second pregnancy bit felt really weird

they alluded to another sequel :(

please remember i am actually a huge fan of beetlejuice !! no hate to the franchise these are just my personal opinions on the sequel. i would love to hear your thoughts as well !!

[forgiveness-in-the-misery]

Spoilers for Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

So the ending was genuinely the one thing that I hated because I have no fucking idea what or when the ending actually starts to be honest.

Considering at the wedding he says he loves a good dream sequence and then post wedding we get the trip to Europe, Astrid’s wedding, demon baby birth followed by Lydia waking up in bed with BJ who comments that he essentially had a similar dream but then she wakes up again in bed alone I have like a billion fucking questions.

Did the wedding scene even happen? Did the movie even happen? Has he just been so stuck in her mind since she was a teenager to the point she has detailed dreams involving him and ending up in another situation where she almost marries him again?

Usually weird shit is a sign of a dream but its a sequel to a movie about the afterlife made by Tim Burton so that can’t be used as a reference point at all.

Again the dream sequence comment is the only thing making me wonder how much of the movie was somebodys dream either Lydia’s or BJ’s.

I personally am incredibly rarely a fan of “it was a dream” because just like Deadpool turning back time in Deadpool 2 it makes a story feel like time wasted to find out none of it happened.

So yeah ending on either a short dream sequence or none of it happened at all annoys me.

But other than that I did love the movie like 98% of it honestly. I kinda think they could have recast Charles cause I have seen tons of dudes who look similar to his actor and Delia dying kind of sucked, I genuinely forgot Delores was even in the film since she just dropped off the face of the Earth soon after being introduced as the big bad since the Jeremy stuff become the biggest threat to anybody. I do feel Lydia and Rory was off maybe because we never saw Lydia date before so other than pill popping and trauma I don’t fully see how she would end up with a dude like him since she never seemed attracted to him or even liked him at all so its wild she still wanted to marry him because he’s nice?

I do fully agree she should have married Beetlejuice considering she’s a full ass adult now but also he was the only guy out of Richard and Rory she even had onscreen chemistry with for me, plus he just seems to genuinely care for her. And the wedding not happening felt super random like Astrid just saying it was illegal and couldn’t happen like Lydia seemed to have no feelings on it either way to be real here sooo yknow

But again the whole dream thing which brings the story back to complicated.

Luckily the movie is artistically done and fun to generally look at. Lydia as a mom and wife still feels weird to me since they’re roles that seem super out of place for me with her and I think she should have gotten with Beetlejuice because the film genuinely gave no reason at all for that to not happen.

He wasn’t even a villain in this movie which confuses me about Burton saying he’s a sleazy perv who never changes since he’s literally spent 30 years pining for the same woman and trying to contact her using the psychic link they have and spends the movie just doing shit that he hopes will make her happy and also just doing what she ask of him with no real strings attached. He has no motive or mention of wanting to be mortal this time or any evil ulterior motive he just dead ass wants to marry this woman he is insanely in love with.

….which means I have to write fics and rewatch Lisa Frankenstein if I wanna see a movie where a goth girl bangs a dead guy.

[chaoticstanley]

I am absolutely in love with Beautyjuice! I’ve only seen one little snippet of her, but I’m already hooked on the ideas you have! If it’s alright, I did have a few questions (hopefully spoiler free, since you’re doing a comic):

Does she have to dress up and wear a corset ALL the time, or does she only do it just for super special occasions?

Did she choose to wear the corset, or is it societal pressure/necessity?

Did you have any specific influences/vibes when creating her?

Does she have any specific personality traits or archetypes that are different from her toonjuice counterpart?

Does Lydia get to see this alter ego? Do they like to do fun girly things together?

Is fanart of your universe/designs allowed? (With proper credit)

Thank you for your time! [Please don’t feel pressured to answer all of them! It is all good if you pick one or two to answer. :) ]

Have a wonderful day! Thank you for sharing your work with the world! ✨

Got me crying in the club rn!!! (T⌓T)

In all seriousness, this was such a sweet thing to say and I greatly appreciate your lovely words, babe!!!! And don't worry about spoilers cause the comic I'm working on is just a one-off story about Lydia having a sapphic crush lol. But onto the asks!!!

So, Beautyjuice mostly sticks to her feminized suit, but there are a few scenarios where she would dress up. Like, in the show, there are some situations for Beetlejuice to change his outfit, and it's the same deal for her but the only difference is that she's fem presenting. And she doesn't have to wear a corset at all. She's very insistent on it cause she likes how it makes her breasts pop up. She loves her titties and flaunts them constantly without shame. Either to seduce some poor sap out of their money or just for funsies.

And I was mostly inspired by, obviously, the Beautyjuice design in the show, but also drag queens as well. The exaggerated proportions and hair were a big factor. My mindset the entire time was "Does she look like she's serving cunt 💅���???" And I think I captured that pretty well 😊

In terms of personality, she's far more affectionate than my canon's Beetlejuice. Normal BJ doesn't like to be touched and doesn't ever touch anyone, save for the occasional hug with Lydia. He's a lot more like Moviejuice where he's not somebody you really wanna touch or else you'll end up dead in a ditch somewhere. But Beauty is way more touchy. She'll stroke your face, let a hand linger on your shoulder, run her fingers through your hair (and pull it), etc. It's all mostly to get your attention and manipulate in some way. But otherwise, she's just as much a gross, petty grade-A asshole as normal Beetlejuice.

And Lydia has seen her before and hung out with BJ in his Beauty form, but she's not a fan. Mainly because she always ends up witnessing her flirting with someone and it makes her gag. She's way more fond of Bettyjuice, which is BJ's teen girl alter ego which he uses to hang out with Lyds at school. In contrast, Bettyjuice is a mean e-girl type who loves to fight the school jocks, get into detention, and brag about how she has more followers than Claire Brewster. I posted Betty earlier but I'll reupload both fem designs here just to show the difference

Lydia definitely hangs out with Betty a lot more than Beauty. BUT they love to have typical girly fun, whether it's Beauty or Betty. They'll go shopping, talk shit on Claire, have slumber parties, do their makeup, etc. But funny enough, Beetlejuice does all that anyway in his standard form, so it's not any different than when they usually hang out lol. And here's a scene of Lydia helping Beauty in her corset.

And fanart is always welcomed by anyone for any art I make! I will go fucking feral for it. And again, thank you so much for this lovely ask! I'm a big fan of your art and seeing this in my inbox from you made me ecstatic!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Have a great one as well!

[dougielombax]

Alright.

Behold my anti-sex music playlist!

For music that just won’t work when you’re planning on doing it.

Not saying any of these songs are bad. Just that they won’t be good for sex.

In my mind…

Here they are:

1. Chumbawumba - Tubthumping.

2. Blarf - Banana

3. Eric Andre & the Last Seed - Beef Patty

4. Midge Ure - The Man Who Sold the World (OH NO. NOT ME)

5. The Serbian National Anthem! (Bože pravde) - by I Don’t Fucking Know. (Yes I’m serious)

6.Geometry Dash theme tune

7. My Country ‘Tis of Thee (Boston Pops version)

8. Peaches - Fuck the Pain Away

9. That FUCKING Pina Colada song!

10. Aerosmith - I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing

11. Otis Redding - Shake

12. The Trashmen - Surfin’ Bird

13. Liberty Bell March - John Philip Sousa

14. That weird boingy Delaware version of the Dr Who theme what was only used once in the Australian broadcast of Carnival of Monsters.

15. Swans - She Loves Us

16. The Platters - My Prayer (for any David Lynch fans, if you know, YOU KNOW!)

17. Grieg - In the Hall of the Mountajn King (it HAS to be the Portsmouth sinfonia version)

18. Georg Friedrich Handel - Hallelujah Chorus from Messiah (also the Portsmouth Sinfonia version, ideal for maximum awkwardness)

19. 1800 Pain - Hurt

20. Weezer - Buddy Holly

21. ANYTHING by Nickelback (especially Photograph (LOOK AT THIS FUCKEN’ SHIT!) or Rockstar)

22. The Cure - Friday I’m in Love

23. Nine Inch Nails - Mr Self Destruct (only an animal could fuck to this!)

24. Hanggai - Drinking song (this is actually a fucking banger but still)

25. Jamie Christopherson - The Stains of Time (except every single lyric is AND IT WILL COME)

26. Babylon Zoo - Spaceman

27. Suede - Filmstar

28. Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart (on full blast)

29. Ligeti - Lux Aeterna (may induce existential crises)

30. Korngold - Theme from King’s Row

31. AJCW - Wonderland (very loud, this is some cosmic horror shit)

32. Girl Talk - Play Your Part (Pt 1.)

33. Akira Yamaoka - Black Fairy

34. Ludvig Forssell -204863

35. Bach - Chorale BWV 645 (slow instrumental organ/trombone version)

36. Akira Yamaoka - My Heaven

37. Kikagaku Moyo - Dripping Sun (the beat drop at the end is some next level shit)

38. Carpenter Brut - Le Perv

39. Dawn of the Dead - The Gonk

40. de Wolfe music - Lubricator

41. Wizzard - I Wish it could be Christmas Every Day

42. Venetian Snares - All the Children are Dead

43. Van McCoy - Do the Hustle

44. Roy Orbison - In Dreams (look, it’s a great tune, but still).

45. Smash Mouth - Walking on the Sun

46. Mansion Basement - Resident Evil Director’s Cut Soundtrack

47. Happy Days (as in the main theme tune from Happy Days!)

48. Exhumed - As Hammer to Anvil

49. Muddy Magnolias - American Woman (David Lynch Remix) (if you fuck to this then you are legally not a human, you are a CREATURE)

50. Sonny Terry - Old Lost John

51. Hanatarash - My Dad is Car (VERY LOUD!)

52. Clubbed to Death (instrumental)

53. Jerry Manolas - Midnight Dream

54. Guided by Voices - Game of Pricks

55. Ludvig Forssell - Death Stranding theme tune

56. Glenn Miller - In the Mood

57. Venetian Snares - Winnipeg is Fucking Over

58. BJ Thomas - Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head.

59. Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff

60. Huun Huur Tu - Eerbek Aksy

61. Whitney Houston - I'm Your Baby Tonight

62. Mussorgsky - The Great Gate of Kiev

63. Low Roar - Give Up

64. Ludwig Van Beethoven - Rage Over a Lost Penny

65. Neon Indian - Slumlord’s Release

66. The Caretaker - All You are Going to want to Do is Get Back There.

67. Horace Heidt - This Time It’s Real (instrumental - slowed down)

68. BluntedBeatz - I Am

69. Eddie Vedder - Out of Sand

70. Olga Wojciechowska - Remember When the Light Came (unfortunately I can’t find it ANYWHERE!)

71. Blarf - The Me in Me

72. Chuck Person - Lightning Strikes

73. Polkas y Huapangos - Los Dos Laredos. (Pretty sure you legally CANNOT fuck to this)

74. Tom Jones - What’s New Pussycat (VERY LOUDLY)

75. Merzbow - Ultramarine Blue

76. Fool’s Garden - Lemon Tree (I NEED Wes Anderson to use this song in his next film! FIND A WAY to get him to do it!)

77. Big Brother Theme Tune

78. Fanfare Vagabontu - Batuta Din Moldova

79. Lvovsky - Now the Powers of Heaven

80. Tuvan Ensemble - Arbyn Ossun

81. Weird Al - EBay song

82. Marathon 2 main theme (I mean come ON!)

83. Electric Light Orchestra - Mr Blue Sky (SHUT UP!!!!)

84. My Chemical Romance- Famous Last Words

85. Van Halen - Panama

86. Powermad - Slaughterhouse

87. Bjork - It’s Oh so Quiet

88. Sigur Rós - Hoppípolla

89. Richard Strauss - Zueignung (specifically the version performed by Jessye Norman (RIP))

90. Apollo 100 - Joy (especially if you speed it up)

91. Carol Anne McGowan - Sycamore Trees (look it’s beautiful but you cannot fuck to it!)

92. Brian Eno - Weightless

93. Jean Sibelius - Symphony no 2.

94. Handel - Hallelujah Chorus (as performed by the Portsmouth Sinfonia)

95. The White Buffalo - I Know You (it’s a great piece of music but it’s really depressing)

96. Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe

97. Men Without Hats - The Safety Dance

98. Blink 182 - I Miss You. (WHERE ARE YEEEEEEEW)

99. Francis Stanfield - O Sacred Heart. (Yes I know it’s a Catholic hymn! That’s the point!)

100. Surasshu - The Penis (Eek!)

101. Non Phixion - The CIA is Trying to Kill Me

102. All-American Rejects - Move Along (SHUT UP! It’s a good song but come on)

103. Big Data - Bombs Over Brooklyn (their curiosity for learning has skyrocketed)

104. Adam & the Ants - Stand and Deliver

105. Animal Collective - Derek

106. Ludwig Van Beethoven. Symphony no. 5. Movement 1.

107. Hong Kong 97 Soundtrack - I Love Beijing Tiananmen.

108. Mr Bean animated series theme tune (piano, obviously).

109. John Williams - The Immolation Scene. (From the Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith soundtrack)

110. Ludwig Van Beethoven. Again. - Ode to Joy. Symphony no 9. Movement 4.

111. Vague003 - Tonight

112. Tchaikovsky - Serenade for Strings in C Major Op. 48.

113. Old Gods of Asgard - Take Control

114. Zbigniew Preisner - Lacrimosa, Day of Tears

115. AJCW - Fog Horm

[deja-you]

times new roman | episode ten

t. jefferson x reader

summary: in this final episode, thomas wants more than just a date.

word count: 1.6k

a/n: this is the final installment of this series! this has been a joy to create, and all my love goes out to those of you who have stuck through it all <3

masterlist | previous

“You have to be anywhere today?”

Thomas tapped his fingers against Y/n’s bare skin to a melody he was making up in his head. He had spent the last few minutes minutes memorizing the tide of her breathing and internally debating whether or not to ask the question he had just asked. Thomas knew he would have to ask eventually, but he hated the thought that maybe Y/n did have somewhere to be. 

She turned on her side to face him, admiring his features. “Not really. Is this you trying to kick me out of your apartment?”

He grinned. “The opposite. Wonderin’ if I can stay in bed with you all day.” 

Y/n hummed softly. “I think that could be arranged. But we’re going to have to find something to do to occupy the time.”

“Oh?” Thomas raised an eyebrow, his lips pulling up into a suggestive smirk. “You plan on doing that all day? Angel, last night was amazing, but I don’t know how much stamina I have in me. Maybe if I got some Gatora--”

“Shut up!” She snorted and slapped his chest. “I meant an activity like reading. Good lord.”

“Well that sounds enjoyable, too. You want to pick something out from my personal library?” He asked. 

“Thomas Jefferson, that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. Thank you for finally asking.”

Y/n climbed out of bed wearing only the Thomas’s shirt she had stolen last night and walked over to the door. She paused in the doorframe and glanced back at him. “You coming?”

He looked her up and down, his arms folding behind his head as he leaned back against the headboard. “Don’t mind me. I’m just enjoying the view.”

She scoffed and moved out of his sight. Thomas sighed softly, eventually pulling himself out of the warm bed to follow her into his living room. She was standing at one bookcase, her back to him. Thomas wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and pressed gentle kisses to her shoulders.

“Are you religious?”

She was leafing through his Bible. It wasn’t much of a Bible. The way he had cut out passages of scripture.

He didn’t know how to answer her at first. Did she want him to say yes? Would she like it if he told her he read the Bible and prayed? He knew her too well for that. She wanted to hear the truth. 

“I am religious,” Thomas responded. It wasn’t a lie. “Very, deeply religious.”

Y/n frowned and held up a page from the Old Testament that had been mostly cut out.

“You can’t just pick and choose the parts of the Bible that you like and cut out the sections you don’t like.”

“I know.”

“It’s all or nothing. You can’t have the best parts of religion without the worst parts. You understand that, right?” Y/n desperately needed for him to understand.

“Angel, this isn’t about the Bible, is it?” Thomas said it like a question to be polite, but they both knew the answer. “It’s all a metaphor for you and me.”

She shrugged. “Everything is a metaphor for you and me.”

They were both quiet for a moment. She slid the Bible back onto his bookshelf next to a series of Ralph Ellison works and Kurt Vonnegut novels. Y/n decided on A Farewell to Arms, removed it from the shelf, and turned back to Thomas.

“Just don’t cut out the parts of me you don’t like, okay?” 

His large hands covered Y/n’s and he brought her hand up to his lips to kiss each finger carelessly. “There’s nothing about you I could cut out. I love each and every part of you.”

This seemed to reassure Y/n enough, a small smile appearing on her face. 

“What? What is it?”

Y/n had been minding her business, reading through her burrowed book, when she felt Thomas’s eyes on her. He had clearly been staring at her with something on his mind. 

Thomas just smiled and shook his head. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“Well now you have to tell me,” Y/n insisted, setting down the book. 

“Angel, please,” he shook his head and laughed lowly.

She narrowed her eyes and sat up to get a better look at him. “Thomas Jefferson, tell me what you’re thinking.”

“You really want to know?”

“That’s why I’m asking,” Y/n said in exasperation. 

“Okay, okay,” he chuckled. Thomas pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and looked into her eyes. “I was just thinking about how much I like waking up to the sight of you reading in my bed. It feels so natural.”

A slow smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“Well I like waking up in your bed. You’ve got a nice mattress.”

Thomas raised an eyebrow but he was still grinning. “You tellin’ me you only stick around because I have a nice mattress?”

“I suppose there might be a few other reasons,” she teased. “But it’s mostly about the mattress.”

He scoffed and wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to his side. Thomas’s lips found her neck and he left little kisses along her collarbone. “That’s too bad. I’m practically obsessed with you.”

“Are you?” She hummed dismissively.

“Mmhmm,” he mumbled his words against her skin. “I’m in love with you.”

Her breath caught in her throat. “What?”

She shifted on the bed and placed two fingers under Thomas’s chin to bring his eyes up to meet her’s. “You love me?”

He froze, wondering if he should take the words back. But he meant them. 

“I love you,” he said more firmly. “I do. And I want to wake up next to you every day. I want to see you wearing my t-shirts and reading my books in my bed. I want you. All of you. I want you to be my girlfriend.”

“Hmm,” she said noncommittally. “I don’t know.”

Y/n couldn’t resist teasing him a little more, and she almost felt bad when he tensed up beside her. 

“Oh, well that’s ok--”

“I never did get that boyfriend application from you, did I?” She grinned. “I remember being promised MLA format.”

She searched his face to see his reaction, but he completely retracted his body from her’s. Her mouth fell open as he climbed out of bed, his warmth leaving her. 

“Thomas? Where are you...?”

He exited the room, and then came back a few minutes later with his laptop in hand. Thomas hopped back on the bed and turned on his computer.

“What are you doing?” Y/n asked, suppressing a smile.

Thomas gave her the most serious look she had ever seen from him. “I’m working on my application.”

“You know I was joking, right?” She laughed, but he was already opening up a Word document. “You don’t need to write an application.”

Thomas changed the Calibri font to Times New Roman and began working on his heading. “I promised you an application in MLA, and that’s exactly what you’re going to get.”

“You’re absolutely ridiculous,” Y/n shook her head.

“Shh,” he hushed. “I need to come up with a good hook. Should I start with a question? A quote? No, that’s too basic.”

Y/n was about to try to tell Thomas he was being too extra, but she could tell he was already too invested in writing up his application. She shook her head again, and turned her attention back to the book in her hand when she came to terms with the fact that Thomas wasn’t going to stop until he was finished. 

Maybe 30 minutes later, Thomas declared he was done. He slid the laptop over to Y/n, and she sighed dramatically as she began to read through the document. 

“You count cooking as a skill?” Y/n asked skeptically. “You only cook macaroni and cheese.”

“Yeah, and it’s damn good. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, angel,” he shrugged.

“It’s not. Not good, that is,” Y/n muttered under her breath, continuing to scroll through his application. “‘Devilishly handsome’? Really? Really?”

“You know that part is true. Don’t even pretend.”

A few minutes later, Y/n had finished reading the application Thomas had spent way too much time writing. He appraised her with bright eyes, waiting to hear her verdict.

“Well?”

“Well,” she strung it out a little bit longer, amused by the slight nervousness that hid behind Thomas’s eyes. “After reviewing your application... I’m happy to inform you that you got the job as Y/n Washington’s boyfriend.”

“Yes!” He pumped his fist in the air and leaped out of the bed to take a victory lap. Thomas returned a few seconds later to pull Y/n into a tight hug and placed kisses to her cheeks, lips, neck, and arms.

“I nailed the conclusion, didn’t I? I felt really good about that.” 

She laughed and pressed her lips to his again to get him to shut up. When they pulled apart, he gasped and grabbed his phone off the bed.

“I need to post about this.”

She rolled her eyes when she finally set down the phone and snuggled into Thomas’s side. Y/n breathed in the scent of his t-shirt and sighed in contentment. 

“This is good, right?” Thomas said softly. “You and I? This is good?”

“It’s more than good. It’s us. I love us,” she replied. 

Y/n listened to the beat of his heart and knew that hers was in sync with his. She threaded her fingers through his, and with the other hand, she held open the book she had borrowed from Thomas’s library. Y/n’s eyes were drawn to a line in the book Thomas had underlined who knows how long ago, and she smiled softly.

You’re my religion. You’re all I’ve got. 

tag list:

@dovesgrangers @lovelymrvl  @wiffle-snuffles @thisistrashperson @comingupwithacoolnameishard @wordvomit-foryourmind @newtonslawoffuck @isharemydeathdaywithfeanor @i-know-i-can @imperial-martian @fangirling-central @dannighost @ateliefloresdaprimavera @justahappylilblog @fanfic-addict-98 @a-hopeless-fan @and-claudia @nicolemelton @youtxbemusic @reidcult @eirenism @fantasy-of-fiction @iamsuperconfusedallthetime-dead @a-midwinter-night-dream-86 @rycbar-221b @bethanymccauley @fanworrior @gggamingz @nemesis729 @ibeaesthethicc  @yodas-padawan @sabbrriiinnaa @micaiahmoonheart @beautifulfound @moondustmemories @ct-salad @teenwaywardasgardian @bj-is-a-graduateof-julliard @ruebx @katierpblogg @speedypartyducksuitcase @fangirling-central @idkkbaleighh @ballerinafairyprincess @spn-pogues @gryffin-claw @elegantbutedgy @1elysium @sierraisnotreal @ssanjuniperoo @collectivefandom @lilbabyhoneypot @lunariasilver @justcallmemama @atleastidontdotiktoks @mistrose23 @checkurwindow @fluffydmonkey @pettyjayy @rosesinmars @cubedtriangle @itsjube @zeelmol @ems-alexandra @yavin4andor @daveeds-whore @someinsanefangirl @theatrenerd86 @poetnstuff @ohsoverykeri-blog @im-sidney @omgyouburtmyeggos @astralaffairs @nyxie75 @mydearestlaurens @janessawonderwall @the-middle-oldest-child @emtinuviel @elizard-hamilton @the-lost-marauder​

so this is the end loves! thanks for sticking with me through this. if you want to keep reading my works, i have a new series (angel wings + wedding rings) coming out. let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist :)

[yadds]

Heyyyy so guess who’s not dead!  Anyway, for anyone that’s interested, I’ve decided that I’m not posting ongoing works until I’m done with them then will post as I’m editing.  Sorry!  However, I do have an excerpt that I like a bit that can stand alone, so here it is!  Also, despite the sexual nature of the initial conversation, this is pre-starker and isn’t really much about sex.

Minor background info: Tony has come back from the dead and is still with Pepper but they’re having issues.  Meanwhile, the Starker bromance is developing and they hang out quite a bit.  

____________________________________________________________________

“Spit or swallow?” Peter asked out of the blue as they sat on the couch watching reality tv. 

Tony’s eyebrows were about to climb right into his hairline. “Excuse me?”

“Spit or swallow?” he repeated, over enunciating. “What are your thoughts?”

“Just to be clear, we’re talking about…” Tony trailed off slowly. 

“You know, bjs. Blowies. I’m sure you’ve gotten one once or twice,” Peter said with a roll of his eyes, tossing several pieces of popcorn into his mouth. 

“Yeah, might have happened on a rare occasion,” Tony responded dryly. “Well, honestly I can take it or leave it on the receiving end, doesn’t make that much of a difference to me.”

Peter’s head tilted back and forth, considering, before shrugging. 

“When giving though, I generally don’t like either. Don’t get me wrong, I love going down on people and making them feel good, but I prefer if they don’t finish in my mouth. Obviously I’ve done it before and may very well do it again so I guess I’d probably say swallow? It’s already there, so why make a mess?”

Peter’s attention was now fully on Tony, the TV forgotten in the background. Tony glanced over and smiled wryly when he saw his gaping mouth and red cheeks. “What’s with the stunned mullet impression? Did you not literally just ask that question? Am I going senile already?”

Peter cleared his throat and turned back to face the tv again. “Uh, yeah, I uh I did ask. But I was thinking more on the receiving end - I wasn’t expecting you to talk about giving.”

One of Tony’s brows crept back up. “Oh? And why is that? Because you think I’m a selfish asshole in bed as well or because you think I’m shy?”

Peter shook his head quickly, not catching the amused tilt of Tony’s lips. “No, no of course not! I just didn’t know that you, uh, you know, partake, in partners of the, uh, male persuasion?” If Peter shoveled any more popcorn into his mouth after the desperate handful he just shoved in there, he was going to suffocate. 

“Huh,” Tony said thoughtfully. Had they really never talked about this before? “Well, weird phrasing aside (because that was weird, kid, what’s up with that?), I thought it was pretty common knowledge that I was bisexual.”

Peter shook his head again, glancing back Tony’s way. “Nope, definitely not. At least not in any of the articles or interviews online. I mean, yeah, there are a few sources that mention the possibility of you not being completely straight, but they all sound like speculation.” 

Tony was speechless for a minute. He watched Peter notice the extended silence and seem to realize what he just said, curling forward and burying his face in his hands, ears bright red.

 He finally gathered enough wits to say, “Well, then I guess it was just common knowledge among people who actually know me. SI probably paid off the men I slept with - because heaven forbid the infamous playboy figurehead be seen with a man back in the day. I honestly never paid attention to what exactly was in the press, just made sure I was in it. If I’d known, I definitely would have been more blatantly obvious.” 

He was quiet again for about five seconds before he pulled his leg up on the couch and fully turned towards Peter. “I’m sorry, I tried, but I can’t just let this go. I knew you were a big fan, but sounds like you’ve really done your research, Pete.” He couldn’t drop the shit-eating grin on his face. 

Peter flopped all the way forward, shoving his face into his knees, groaning. “Can we not do this?” he whined. It only took another ten seconds of pointed silence before Peter broke. “Ugh, okay, so I may have had a crush on you when I was younger,” he admitted. “A teeny tiny, definitely not life-consuming, crush.”

Tony laughed. “And when was this?” 

“I don’t know, it started when I was like 13 probably.”

“And you thought you should google my sexuality to see if, what, you had a chance with the guy four times your age that you’d never meet?” Tony didn’t think he’d been this amused in a long time.  

Peter sat back up and peeked at him just to throw him a glare. “Yes, because thirteen year olds are so logical, especially when it comes to hormonal urges.”

“Never would have pegged you for being into older men.”

“Really? Because most people aren’t surprised - I apparently just radiate ‘twink with a daddy kink’,” Peter said matter-of-factly. 

Tony choked, coughing loudly. “I’m sorry, did you just, in a roundabout way, call me a Daddy? In a way that has nothing to do with my daughter?”

“I- can we talk about something else now?” Peter squeaked. 

“That...is probably a good idea,” Tony agreed, feeling his own cheeks heat. 

They both stared very intently at the TV, trying to think of anything else. 

After a while, Peter spoke up. “Why would you do it again?”

“What?” Tony asked, confused. 

“Sorry, I’m back on the spit or swallow question,” Peter explained. 

Now it was Tony’s turn to groan. “I thought we were talking about something else.”

“Yeah, something that’s not my personal and very embarrassing past. Now that I have the question, I can’t think of anything else.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Fine. So why would I do what again, exactly? Give a blow job?”

“Well, I mean, that too, considering that you’re still with Pepper and I’m 99.9999% sure she doesn’t have the right equipment for that. But I was talking about spitting or swallowing. Why would you do either? You said you don’t like it.”

“Relationships are about compromise Pete, even in the bedroom. And I don’t hate it when I’m in the mood for it.”

“What a ringing endorsement,” Peter said flatly. “Yeah, there’s gotta be some compromise, but that should be more along the lines of maybe trying new things that you may not have done on your own but are open to. Doing something you definitively, straight up don’t like in bed should not be one of them.”

Tony looked at Peter, perplexed. “I...don’t even know what to say to that. When did you become an expert in this?”

Peter shrugged. “You’d be surprised how much of my time as Spiderman is spent just lending an ear when people are having a hard time. And sex and relationships come up a lot because I guess it’s easier to talk to a random person in a mask than to someone you know. I try to just listen and not to give advice most of the time, since I’m not an expert and everyone’s situation is different, but sometimes people are in circumstances that are dangerous, emotionally and mentally. So I took a couple relationship health and psychology classes my freshman year in college and read up on some of these things to know what to say.”

Tony’s heart warmed, hearing how earnestly Peter wanted to help people. He smiled softly. “Never thought you’d use that on Tony Stark, did you?” he joked. 

Peter scoffed. “Please, you were like, the poster child for a lot of these issues. I like to think you’ve finally gotten wiser in your ‘old age’, but I’ve mentally given you several high-handed pep talks.”

Tony was taken aback. “Oh? And what was the subject of these pep talks?”

“Mostly self-worth and your complete lack of it.”

Tony chuckled again. “Well maybe you haven’t heard, but I actually have an unrealistically high opinion of myself, kid.”

“Yeah, do you think that if you keep talking about it loudly enough, you might start believing it?” Peter asked, eyebrow raised.

“Excuse me?  I am one of the richest, smartest people on the damn planet.  I single-handedly created a superhero while a prisoner in a cave.  I created clean energy that can power the planet and I’m pretty sure I’m damn close to being able to end poverty,” Tony rebuked, getting irritated.

“I know, so why do you still feel like it’s not enough?” Peter asked with a shrug, pointedly not looking at him.  “All those amazing accomplishments, things no one else would be able to do, but how often do you think about that instead of the few mistakes you’ve made?”

Tony crossed his arms.  “Get out of my fucking head, kid,” he grunted.

Peter turned to him with a grin.  “You think I should change my degree plan and become a shrink?”

“Definitely not.  You’re pretty much done anyway and I need you in my labs, not consoling lunatics like me.”

Peter reeled back exaggeratedly.  “You’re quite presumptuous, Mr. Stark, assuming I’ll be working for you.”

“You’d better,” Tony insisted.

“Is that a threat?” Peter asked cheekily.

“Definitely.”

Laughing, Peter settled back into the cushions and resumed his popcorn eating.

After several minutes of watching TV in silence, Peter turned back to Tony.  “You know I still think you’re just as amazing as you try to say you are, right?”

Glancing at Peter out of the corner of his eye, he shook his head at Peter’s earnest expression.  “No clue why,” he said wryly.  “But yeah, I know.  Thanks, kid,” Tony said, smile soft as his hand came up to grip the back of Peter’s neck before pulling him into a hug.

Tony cleared his throat and sat back before saying gruffly, “Now shut up and watch...whatever the hell it is you’re making me watch.”

Peter snorted but kept his mouth shut.  And as he settled more comfortably under Tony’s arm, his back pressed up against Tony’s side as Tony’s arm draped across Peter’s chest, Tony had to wonder if this is one of the things Pepper had been talking about.

But as he felt the warmth of Peter pressed against him, felt the soft rise and fall of his breathing, felt the proof that Peter was alive and safe, Tony shook away the thought.

_____________________________________________________________________

So I’m starting to see a pattern - I tend to write like hell during the fall and winter and not during the summer at all. So apparently I have an off-season lol.  Hopefully the pattern continues for the next few months and I can get a few projects finished!

[beetles-and-rock]

I had to fill out the Beetlejuice Questionnaire. These were really fun to answer.

1. Musical Beetlejuice or Movie Beetlejuice?

I like both. I prefer Musical Beetlejuice, but the Movie version holds a special place in my heart.

2. Favourite character? Beetlejuice

3. Favourite song?

"That Beautiful Sound" It always cheers me up.

4. Unpopular opinions? Lydia is asexual. Yes I expect the angry mob at my door any minute.

5. Favourite lydia song? "Home" as someone who has lost a parent, I can understand the desire to hear their voice again, and how lost someone can feel when they're gone.

6. Day-o or Jump in the line? Jump in the line

7. The whole being dead thing or That beautiful sound? That beautiful sound. Again this one always cheers me up and is so fun to watch. It is very close though because I love The Whole Being Dead Thing as well.

8. Favourite understudy/swing? I think I have an equal appreciation for Will Blum and Presley Ryan. They are both so adorable, and give the characters a softer, sweeter, feel.

9. Favourite moments? Invisible Reprise. It's our first look at how deeply emotional the Musical Version of Beetlejuice can get, and while this scene is meant to be silly, I feel for him. Then there is where he actually gets summoned. He couldn't be happier and the stuff he does (or really the crew does) with the puppets and all is just so cool to watch. Fright of Their lives all the way down to the "New phone. Who dis?" Line for sure. That Beautiful Sound, even Creepy Old Guy is fun to watch with the constant knowledge of "This isn't gonna end well." lingering throughout the song. There are a lot of good moments in this Musical.

10. Favourite underappreciated thing? (song, character, costume, etc) I would say the special affects. Including the pre-recorded voice lines for Beetlejuice. Obviously they have had Alex record them, but on a night Will Blum played Beetlejuice, they made sure that the recording was of him even if it was some of the ones distorted beyond recognition. A lot of work went into this show, and we have so many people behind the scenes to thank for it.

11. Favourite line? There are so many good lines in the show. Almost anything Beetlejuice says is pure gold. Lydia roasting people without hesitation, Barbara and Adam being wholesome, and not scary. Delia's "Sucks-Yes!" And some of her lines where you can only think "Who hurt you?" Charles even had good ones. Then there's of course the classics: "It's Showtime!" And "I myself am Strange and Unusual."

12. Dream role? Lydia for sure. Though I probably could do Barbara too. I know the option is there for a woman to play Beetlejuice, but I don't think I'm that woman.

13. Something you'd change about it? Nothing, I think it's brilliant the way it is. It references the movie beautifully and in the best ways, has some of the cartoon's silliness, and at the same time, is it's own thing.

14. Moment from the movie you wish had been in the musical?

Barbara: You had a picture of Bigfoot.

Adam: My picture of Bigfoot is a different story.

15. Least favourite song? I have to agree with Alex Brightman "This album has no skip tracks."

16. Blonde lydia or Black haired lydia? Black haired Lydia.

17. Favourite BJ line?

"Well that was a soliloquy, so you're the one who's being rude."

"Don't text me in the middle of the night saying 'you up?' because 'New phone. . . *sobbing* . . . Who dis?"

*Dorky giggling during That Beautiful Sound* Listen for it, it will give you serotonin.

"I may have to get a little. . .mean. I may have to get a little. . . Nasty. Well! You wanna treat me like a demon. . . I'll be a demon."

"Check it out, Lydia. Now we've both got dead moms!"

18. Favourite lydia line?

"Yeah, you look like a bloated zebra that a lion ripped apart but didn't eat because there was obviously something wrong with it, so it was just left to rot in the hot African sun."

"I myself am Strange and Unusual."

"THEIR EYES! THERE EYES ARE MADE OF THE DEVIIIIIIIL!!!"

"She was the ghost of Edgar Allen Poe! I thought she was terrifying! No one else knew who she was. . . people don't read."

"We are old book smell people."

19. Sandworm or The Pig? Big Sandy.

20. Wild card, say anything you feel like saying about the musical! This musical is amazing! It couldn't have come at a better time in my life! As someone who has been a fan of Tim Burton's works for years I think it was very well done. It's been soothing to hear or watch when I'm stressed, or just want to relax. I have made amazing friends in the fandom. I'll say it again, I love this musical!

[darling-has-a-smol-heart]

🌻 tell me whatever you'd like, i would love to listen <33

THANK YOU HACE I LOVE YOU SM--

After ages of thinking, i decided i want to nerd about Bojack horseman.

You don't need to read all of this essay, just the chance to actually PUT these thoughts somewhere makes me happy <3

*rubs hands*

OK SO

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CHARACTER ARCS

I am trash at wording so don't be surprised if this is poorly redacted.

(A LOTTA SPOILERS AHEAD)

Bojack is by far the most relatable character in the show, for me at least. It's funny how this series teached me how to make relatability via struggles. I've never seen such an accurate representation of depression, and some episodes hit real close to home- for example, the "Stupid piece of sh-t" monologue at the beginning of the episode of the same name. They don't dramatize it, like OTHER SHOWS DO- (Yes 13ReasonsWhy I'm looking at you), and paint an accurate picture of how this illness holds Bojack back from being the better person he wants to be. His relationship with his mom was... Interesting to say the least.

The old Sugarman Place episode was haunting. Showing how the abuse from Beatrice's father shaped her into the person she ended up being. And how the cycle of abuse painfully repeats for generations. Her brother's death, her having to deal with his mother's grief and depression alone since her asshole dad didn't do sh-t to help the family move on after Crackerjack's death, and her mother's eventual and tragic lobotomy.

Just,,, Jesus this show.

Another thing I love about it, is how it made me understand that it was okay to emphasize with Beatrice, but one needed to understand that it didn't justify all the horrible abuse SHE put on Bojack, forever hammering in his head the "Don't stop dancing" motto.

Now, back to Bojack cuz BOY this is going to be a long essay.

The moment i knew this show was special was in season 2's "Escape from LA" another 'fuck-your-mind-up-and-move-on' episode. The things Bojack did were so terrible that- I mean i couldn't believe it. I was thinking all along "Nah, he wouldn't do it, he's the protagonist, he can't be THAT bad-"

AND THEM BOOM.

The mf almost sleeps with a 17-year-old and the show slaps you in the face with the realization that THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED-

Something that makes me laugh are the consequences, not because they're stupid or anything like that. But were painfully accurate.

I think my mind was as anxious as Bojack's. Once the ACTUAL truth about his involvement in Sarah Lynn's death, and the cycles of abuse of power in his relationships came to the public eye, came what I expected: people actively shutting him out, insulting him, giving him those horrid judging looks,,, urgh- i felt that. (That second interview that revealed everything could have gone better, but it also could have gone worse. They didn't even explore the Escape from LA incident, or Gina's strangling in Bojack's opioid lash out.)

But yeah, once after the events of The view from halfway down (THAT I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO COVER CUZ OH GOD I WON'T FINISH) things start,,, looking up? Sure, Bojack gets arrested for trespassing (even though he affirms that he thinks it was for a but if everything) and he spends a good time there with the other inmates, they participate in plays, and even Bojack himself admits that he would go as a volunteer once he was out of jail.

I thought the consequences were going to be WAY worse, but when you look back at it you go: "Huh, well that wasn't that bad-"

Now, the final episode.

I LOVE the relationship between BJ and Mr. Peanut butter. The lad finally decides to dedicate time to himself and to not to worry about his marriages. You just gotta love this dog.

Then, Princess Caroline.

I LOVE HER OK?

Her entire character arc about being a mother and finally letting go of his codependency on Bojack was magical.

Seeing the roots of her impulsive "i have to take care of everything" attitude through the 6 seasons allowed me to see her grow, change. Seeing her triumph and fail (very painfully sometimes, man).

In the final scene with her it's so wonderful to see Bojack cheering on her, and Princess Caroline openly admitting she won't work with him anymore. And both just, dancing peacefully to the vals, accepting that their relationship is over with such big smiles... *Sobs*

God. This. SHOW.

And now, good boy Todd.

I kind of relate to him too, and it gives me hope to see him being so independent after everything.

After Bojack ruined his Rock Opera so he wouldn't leave, after he also rescued him from that Improv cult, after all of the good, and ALSO the bad. He leaves.

He goes to make his new life, with his girlfriend, in a new apartment, and now in a good relationship with his mom. It's so wholesome I love Todd sm-

And even after actively pushing back from Bojack, he's still there to support him and cheer him up, even backing off so he doesn't get pulled into that again.

His words in his final scene always stuck with me "It was nice while it lasted right?"

Perfect.

And now,,,, Diane.

Holy cow where do I even start.

I do agree with most fans about how she wasn't "as good" in the first season, and how that changed in season 6, where we see her in a more domestic environment.

Now, I always loved Diane. I emphasized a lot with her struggles of being a writer (those episodes made ma laugh), not appreciating the little things we have, and wanting to do great things but- not- quite reaching it.

I always found interesting how she never let go of Bojack until it was "too late"

They always brought up the worse in each other, two people with the same unhealthy coping mechanisms isn't exactly a good combination.

I teared up when she moved out with Guy and actually learned to trust the feeling of safety, after a whole life of being used to abuse, that was everything that made sense to her. But it didn't have to stay like that. It was hard for her to start taking her antidepressants again but she did and she got better! (Shame Bojack pushed her into breaking point-)

The last scene, of her, of Bojack, of the entire series, I always rewatch "Nice while it lasted" for this scene only.

She confronts him on how he called her before he almost drowned in a pool. She thought he was dead, she thought it was her fault for not saving him. But as Bojack said "It was never her job". But he always made her feel like it was.

Oof... You can't actually fix that, can you?

Diane's "You can be grateful for the people around you, even if they weren't meant to be in your life forever" hit me like a truck. It actually helped me to learn to cut ties, that it was okay to be grateful, to not forgive horrible things, to move on and wish the other person the very best.

And then they sit, staring at the night sky, Catherine Feeny's Mr. Blue starts playing.

And I am bawling my eyes out.

That moment of silence, when there's nothing to say, when you both understand that this is it, and there's nothing else to do than to admire the night.

God. THIS. SHOWWWW,,,,

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

And lastly, thank you so much for this opportunity Jace, i love you so much <3

This series has helped me a lot (like you have <33) and I'm just so happy to share my nerdiness of this show <3

[bbq-hawks-wings]

BBQ gripes about fanon Hawks

Not even gonna put this in the character tags aside from the spoiler one I use just for the anime-onlies on my blog. I'm salty. I just wanna vent. I want to keep the general character tags fun because it was awful when I went looking for new content and found so much Not Fun material a while back; and I don’t want to become what I hate. Basic point - my blog, my vent, and unless it’s reblogged (which you are welcome to if you like) this post dies here.

Please know this isn't a callout post or me claiming that others are being fans of Hawks "wrong" because they disagree with me. I am a huge proponent that (with very few exceptions) fiction and fandom should be free to be enjoyed, reinterpreted, or otherwise indulged in however the individual fan prefers; and if I don't like it, I let them have their space and go do my thing elsewhere and leave them alone (hence why this not going in character tags). I just have been annoyed with the rampant mangling of Hawks' canon  personality/characterization - that is, confusing common fanon interpretations of him with how he’s actually written/portrayed and then getting angry (like, actually-angry-spilling-into-publicly-dragging-real-people, not just disappointed) when he acts like canon Hawks in canon. Non-canon is open season and by and large has my blessing, it’s just frustrating when it gets dragged into discussions about the manga. 

This has been going on a long time, but I just want to get it out of my system in my personal space. All this is, is my "Overthinking Tumblr blogger Shakes Fist at Cloud" moment.

#1 Hawks is a sociopath/unempathetic.

I just... I... You can't be reading the same manga I am if you genuinely come to this conclusion about who he is in canon. A man with nothing to gain by looking like this when considering the depths of the suffering inflicted on others that he bears some amount of responsibility in...

...cannot be called unempathetic.

"But he killed Twice and Best Jeanist!"

Twofold counterargument to this one, starting with BJ - we don't actually know he's dead. There's a body, there's a disappearance, and we have no idea wtf happened, but we also don't know wtf happened. It's drastically ooc for Hawks to murder someone in cold blood. For someone who places emphasis on speed specifically "because when two sides keep fighting and won’t give up, someone eventually has to die" it makes no sense for him to not have had a plan and simply ambush a man in his own home - this goes doubly since he was in contact with the HSPC and had time to "premeditate" anyway.

And as for Twice: Hawks ran out of options. He wanted to detain Twice and keep him from escaping and helping the MLA. He was able to do so when alone, but the moment Dabi cornered him Hawks had a choice to make - probably die in the fight and let Jin go or make absolute certain he can’t and still probably end up dying because he's in bad shape and still probably won't make it out of this, regardless. I don't need to harp on this - it's been said a couple different times now by several people. Even in 266 when Dabi initially ambushes Hawks, Hawks thinks to himself that he’ll carry Jin out of the building to keep himself and Jin safe before Twice retaliated and Dabi literally forces Hawks into a corner.

Jin's loss was a blow, but the chips on the table being wagered are human lives, not feelings. Up until that point, Hawks did everything he could despite the weight of his decision. Human life is human life, and Jin’s life isn’t more important than the may more who will be saved by quashing the MLA’s revolution. Simply equating “could kill someone” with “unempathetic” is fundamentally flawed, and mistaking someone who is pushed to kill despite every attempt to avoid it as unempathetic and even sociopathic has missed the point to the extreme - the mere fact he avoided lethal force for so long alone proves he possesses empathy.

#2 Hawks is a compulsive liar.

He is a good liar, but he does not like lying. He does twist the truth, but always when forced to keep a secret. Even then, his lies are predominantly spun from truth and omitted details instead of outright fabrications. He doesn’t gaslight, and he doesn’t make up stories/details if he can help it.

When Hawks told Endeavor his dreams for the future, that was the truth. When he told him he thought he was cool at the hero billboards, that was the truth.  When he tells Tokoyami to focus on his strengths instead of merely covering his weaknesses to be a better hero, that was the truth. When Tokoyami asks Hawks for his weakness and even why he took him on as an intern in the beginning just to ignore him, he tells him the truth.  When he tells Jin he "doesn't belong in a cage" and that he considers him a good person, that was the truth. When he recognizes he’s profoundly wounded Jin for deceiving him for months, he tells Jin the truth. When confronted by Dabi and he doesn’t need to lie anymore in this fight to the death, he tells him the truth despite not actually needing to in hopes to learn the truth behind Dabi and Shigaraki.

I don't have a better segue, so I'll just mention that a lot of folks who believe this also believe the next point.

#3 Hawks is unapologetically emotionally manipulative.

The context makes a huge difference and we need to look at when and why he manipulates others as well as the fact that he does.

At the hero billboards, Hawks plays the heroes on stage as well as the crowd. He's trying to shift the mindset of, "oh yeah, just another hero ranking" to "wake up, mf's, things are changing and you better be ready to change, too!" Rocking the boat is a huge no-no in Japan. Despite being part of his “persona” there is still real social risk involved with this move but one that he deems necessary to turn heads and get gears turning. This is not just an elaborate ploy to get under Endeavor’s skin, but an effort to reach a wider audience while he has them captive.

He does use the public crowd around him and Endeavor before the Hood fight as an excuse for its appearance, but the original intent was to mentally prepare Endeavor for what was potentially (and proved to be) the fight of his life without outright telling him so he could maintain his undercover status. When he realizes he’s part of the reason for Endeavor’s permanent scar and life-threatening injuries, he feels remorse.

He lies to Jin to get information out of him, but linking back to #2, when calls Jin a good person and offers him a way out, he’s telling the truth. He does feel guilt for having to manipulate an otherwise well-meaning person and betraying them, especially given his long-running history of being used and the ongoing issues he suffers from because of it.

When he meets up again with Endeavor to drop his clues about the League’s movements, he squirms when he realizes the interns don’t know him well enough to know he’s blowing smoke because he does NOT want these kids to actually buy what he’s selling. This espionage mission is hard to navigate, and he has to tread carefully lest he setup the dominoes in the wrong places.

This is all to make the point that Hawks is more than capable of emotionally manipulating people, but it’s not in his nature or something he does to any and every person he comes across just because. We haven’t had much opportunity to see him operate outside of the HSPC’s orders which is where the bulk of the instances of his manipulation comes from - those orders requiring him to operate covertly and thus, by nature, necessitate lying, manipulation, and strategically withholding information. 

If anything, when he’s making an appeal to someone else as his own person - not as a hero on a mission- we actually see a level of vulnerability and transparency we don’t otherwise catch.

Though it’s technically canon-adjacent and not necessarily canon in and of itself, in My Hero Academia: Team Up Mission where he works with Bakugo and Midoriya he operates on a level of transparency with them we’re not used to seeing; and my theory is he took it as an opportunity to operate without ulterior motives and build report instead of bucking back against “training up the next generation of heroes” like he initially did with Tokoyami.

Which now actually segues better into the next point.

#4 Hawks never lets people get close to him.

There’s a surprising amount of evidence that Hawks wants the ability to be an open book. Back at Team Up Mission, the restaurant staff note he regularly takes people he likes to their establishment - so we’re basically told outright this is a special place to him reserved for enjoying himself and only people he likes get to share it with him - so we already know what that says about how he sees those two despite their sparse interactions. We already know he’s taken Endeavor there when Endeavor made no move to input as to where he wanted to have the lunch meeting.

Though he kept Tokoyami at arm’s length initially, we have at least three canon instances of him sharing personal interactions with him with other canon-adjacent indications he cares for and values his intern. We’ve readily established that while Endeavor may not consider himself close to Hawks, Hawks does hold Endeavor as near and dear to his heart. While his only mission regarding Twice was to get information out of him, he still made a genuine effort to help and save him because he wanted to and considered him a friend despite the circumstances.

We still don’t know very much of Hawk’s past, his personal relationships outside of work, etc.; but despite the HPSC’s extensive efforts to strip him of his identity he not only possesses a faceted, complicated personality but seems to want to share that with others readily when and in the ways he’s able. Getting into the truly squishy, vulnerable parts of him may take a while, but on a scale of closed to open, he seems to lean towards open.

#5 Hawks is hopelessly in love with Dabi and will abandon everything up to this point for him.

This isn't to throw general DabiHawks shippers under the bus. Most of them know VERY well at this point that canon has sunk that ship, and they're just having fun with it at this point - and you know what, power to you! They look great together! In another life, the character chemistry could have been incredible. There’s a lot of great DabiHawks shipping content I thoroughly enjoy despite not shipping it myself.

It just isn't canon. It never was and never came close. Even now, with the Endeavor reveal being very much imminent, Hawks' view of Dabi is one of a lying, malicious, callous, murderer. Though he’ll likely be crushed at the revelation of what Endeavor’s done, that doesn’t equate to him defecting (especially not immediately) and falling into Dabi’s arms.

And Dabi hates Hawks just as much.

Again, this is not anything against the ship or the shippers - just an annoyance I have with some who were so wrapped up in the ship they were genuinely mad when the ship sank and they dragged that frustration out into the real world against real people when canon didn’t align with fanon. 

Ships are some of the most stupid things to rail against creators and fans over, and the amount of harassment they receive now over shipping has me ripping my hair out when I know it’s a mere fraction of the total pool of shippers who are frothing at the mouth while the rest are super cool and happy doing their own thing and keeping to themselves.

Ship what you want, regardless of “validating evidence” and have fun. Don’t make it others’ problem when it isn’t canonically validated.

#6 Hawks is a dirty cop.

Only half upset with this one because it comes down to the nuance and lack of precise definition of this phrase I have a problem with. Lots of people hate cops for very real, legitimate reasons. Police forces - being a voluntary, government-employed force enforcing government rule - are notoriously prone to corruption of every kind.

It's implied the HPSC is itself corrupt, though to what extent we don't know. (Granted, buying a young child from his family to raise as your personal puppet is pretty high up there.) By continuing to follow orders from the HPSC and not vehemently fighting back, many see him as reinforcing a corrupt institution and at least partially liable for their continued hold on society. 

Fair enough, but... The issue I have with this is it reduces Hawks to his job.

I believe a huge chunk of this take comes from my experience as an armed service member spouse, but it's easy for me to empathize with a guy

Who was promised the moon for himself and his family in exchange for his service not realizing what was actually being asked of him

Is praised outside the organization for "being a hero" and "upholding this country's core values" while first-hand witnessing the corruption of it when inside

Is viewed as a cog valuable only in services rendered instead of being treated like a human by said organization and worked into the ground because of it

Is frustrated by the insistence to keep the status quo instead of improving procedure/infrastructure/environment because egos need to be padded over real, human problems being solved

Has his autonomy or otherwise ability to operate under his own judgement restricted in favor of maintaining organizational control at the cost of effective action

Has DEPENDENTS who rely on his continued work to provide for them and is thus unable to refuse an order, even when it's morally reprehensible and even outright illegal

Whose cries, both those calculated and desperate, to the organization (who have placed themselves as the sole resource he can turn to) for help (even for his own body/mind) fall on deaf ears until he breaks to the point of becoming unusable or dangerous - and even then minimal effort/responsibility is taken in favor of keeping him functioning in the organization as long as possible.

Hawks fights back against the HPSC constantly. He raised concerns over letting civilians suffer to get him in with the League of Villains and then still defied orders by reducing casualties to zero. Despite orders to keep his mission top secret, he's informed Endeavor of his motives/movements independently from the rest of the heroes. He had long refused to take an intern (read: fresh meat for the machine) to train until this year, and even then sought to minimize his encouragement of Tokoyami for as long as possible until he realized Tokoyami was made of the real mettle people needed in a hero and not just another youngster endangering himself on a pipe dream.

He even takes initiative to keep his personal to-do list from the HPSC to a minimum by squashing problems before they come knocking asking him to fix it for them. He knew of the League of Villains and anticipated the escalation of their movements immediately after the USJ incident as well as has a network of informants and connections with local police forces to stay in the know.

His methods for apprehension of criminals are, and continue to be, to react and detain them so quickly they can't retaliate or endanger others in the struggle, thus minimizing human loss and injury despite the insinuation the HPSC has told him that gloves are off in the current situation.

He might be "a cop" depending on the definition we go with, but he isn't a dirty cop. He doesn't plant evidence. He doesn't shoot first and ask questions later. He doesn't blindly take orders. He largely doesn't see "villains" as dirt under his shoe but as people pushed to extremes. He's a morally convicted individual trying to rebel within the system instead of tearing it down outright. He may be wrong in the assumption, but he genuinely believes he can do more on the inside of the system than outside.

#7 Hawks is a manwhore.

Ok, this one is not serious and actually just to end this all on a lighter note after ranting until I'm blue in the face. 

I'm 100% guilty of this myself. Something about that chicken makes me and many others salivate - either for themselves or to watch him with someone else. We love dressing him up slutty, portray him as flirting unashamedly, and placing him in as many overtly sexual scenarios possible.

The best part about all of it, though, is that it’s almost the exact opposite of how he dresses/conducts himself in canon. His clothes are loose fitting and high-coverage. He’s personable, but never gives any indication he’s romantically/sexually involved or interested in anyone. The asscourse is real only because we cannot confirm either way due to his baggy clothes. His overall figure/body shape has been hinted at, but only recently confirmed; and his jacket had to be literally be burned off to get a good look at the pattern of his shirt under it!

~~~~~~~

And with that, I release the frustration and move on. 

Enjoy fanon as much as you like - even I do! Just be aware of where canon and fanon diverge, and definitely don’t take the difference out on real people. Please also be aware of how others hold their favorite characters dear before flooding the general tags with negativity and creating a hostile environment for them. People latch onto their “comfort characters” for a plethora of reasons, and when they lose that character to the plot, the fandom, or otherwise, they should still be allowed to grieve and celebrate what they had in a safe environment. 

Retaliation in response to others coming against your favorite is also not acceptable behavior. It sucks, but the most mature thing to do is step away from the general fandom, stick to blogs/spaces you know are safe, and let the storm blow over. Comfort characters do not justify mistreating real people no matter how much they may mean to you.

When “canon gets it wrong” is where fanfiction and pockets of the fandom community comes into play. Leave those people alone and let them be. For those who aligned themselves with canon, they are not free game to take personal frustrations out on. Leave those people alone and let them be. Unfollow the people/tags you need to for your own sake and others’, and the fandom will be a better place all around over time. Venting belongs in controlled spaces away from the rest of the fandom and with enough warning for those who not only don’t want to endure it but who for their own safety shouldn’t.

Fandom is a community, and healthy communities do not endorse members lashing out when they don’t get their way.

[dark-and-kawaii]

Kiwiiii =_= ive been waiting to see if you ever write for any of the kuroko boys again and here we are. As Kiyoshi Senpai would say, let's all have some fun! How would our bad boys feel when their fem s/o asks to do their makeup 🐞

Awh, I’ve honestly missed writing for my basketball babes (^w^)

 EHEHE!!! Kiyoshi is right! Let’s all have some fun, yeah??? This request is making me feel so many things since I myself am a makeup artist!!! Thank you so much for sending this in love bug!!!

Yamazaki:

Bless his heart, because this boy is the absolute best. 

Kicking open his bedroom door -makeup pallets in hand- your eyes are practically glowing with so much passion as you run towards him. “Yams!!! Look!! Look!!!” Pressing your pallets against his face he already knows the next thing you’re about to say… “I just got some new pallets!!” -twirling around your skirt lifts ever so slightly and our sweet bad boy is smiling with how cute you are with all your excitement.- “I already have makeup on…. ~sooooo could i please use your face as my canvas?!” 

Yamazaki will of course say yes. He’s mainly curious to see what you can pull off and he’s never had makeup on before so he’s also curious as to how it feels…. 

Will sit as still as he possibly can but his nerves kick in and his knee begins to bounce around which isn’t the best for you since you’re trying to do his mascara… 

You definitely end up poking him in the eye with mascara since he won’t stop bouncing his knee.. And when you try to reapply it he leans back every time while squinting at you… It’ll take years for him to ever trust such a product again, especially in your hands…

Will sit and make kissy faces at you when you apply the lipstick / cracks jokes about how the team would be gay for him.

When the process is all over and you’ve finished his makeup, Yamazaki can see how sad you look since you were having so much fun with him and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying this time with you as well… Picking up one of the pallets you seemed most interested in, Yamazaki will stand from where he was sitting and tell you to sit down. “I want to try doing your makeup, ___.”

Yamazaki will gently wipe off the makeup you had on previously and once its all wiped off he will then attempt to apply makeup to your face…. 

Just as you did to him… He did to you with the mascara… You and Yamz will never trust one another with mascara ever again.

Hara:

Hara just pops his gum as you sit in front of him silently wide eyed awaiting his reply… He pops another bubble… And you can’t take it anymore. “So!? What’s the answer Hara? Will you let me play with my new makeup with you or not?? It should be at my place by now and i really think it would be fun for us!”

Hara makes an annoyed sound as he pops yet another bubble, “Sure, but only if you give me a blow job after.” You can hardly believe it…. that’s a lie… you can believe he would say something like that…. With disgust written all over your face you get up from your desk and begin to storm out while harshly saying, “FINE! I’ll find someone else!! Someone who doesn’t need or want anything in return except fun memories!”

It takes only 2 minutes before Hara is sitting up from his very own desk going after you. Maybe that was a bit too harsh, you’re always doing for him and unlike his previous girls he wants to keep you around.

Eventually finds you on your front steps holding your new Jeffree Star lipsticks and pallet. Taking one of the lipsticks out of your hand he opens it and applies it best he can before pressing his lips together making a popping noise. Smiling at you he pulls back his bangs from his face and asks you if you can help make him a pretty girl.

Turns out to be a fun night with Hara. Applying makeup to him is easy thanks to his smooth skin and him being patient with you. 

Asks if he’s getting anything in returned like sex or a BJ, you just smack him upside the head though. 

Hara surprisingly likes the feeling of eyeshadow being applied to his eyes, your brush is extremely soft and the smooth swiping motions on his eyes is quite calming. Will ask you questions about what does what and what the purpose is… It’s not that he cares it’s just he really wants to make up for how he acts at times -lowkey hopes it scores him points with you-. 

Once his makeup is complete he will tell you to stay in the bathroom as he goes into your room and raids your panty drawer. No no no. It’s not what you think. Once he’s done doing what he wanted, he will come back to your bathroom and there standing before you is one tall ass basketball player wearing your V-string and sport bra… Popping his gum Hara smirks at you, “Mommy is ready for her punishment daddy ____.”

Hara is cringe. 

Seto:

Seto is so chill my god. 

At first Seto isn’t the biggest fan of the idea and he does tell you no the first two times you ask. However as you lay on his chest looking up at him with teary eyes begging him to let you apply makeup to him he can’t help but smirk. “Someone’s quite persistent, aren’t they?” Placing his hand atop your head he tousles your hair and says fine, but only if he can sleep through most of it. 

Sitting up on his chest you peck his nose and agree to this! Most of the makeup can be applied with his eyes shut and it’ll be easier to apply the eyeshadow! “Thank you Seto! I will even hide that mole of your forehead since you hate it so much!!!” You say with one of the sweetest tones he’s ever heard. 

It’s honestly a win win for the both of you. 1st you’re getting to put makeup on your very tough looking boyfriend who is deemed a bad boy in your school. 2nd He loves the feeling of you straddling his chest as you apply the makeup and he’s gotta admit… the powder brush feels pretty damn great.

Once you’re all finished you hand him your glittery mirror and say “BOOM THATS THE POWER OF MAKEUP BABY!!!” His mole is concealed and the pink eyeshadow you applied pops thanks to his darker skin…. His eyes are wide with a bit of concern, he’s heard horror stories of neon shadow staining eyelids…. which guess what… it did…. And the next day he’s going to school with pink eyes and the guys all laugh. However, Seto shrugs it off. It made you happy and that’s what’s important. 

Furuhashi:

Staring out his bedroom window you watched as the rain continued to tap against his window. Between the roaring thunder, Furuhashi’s soft voice, and dark sky, you were slowly starting to doze off… Until your elbow was harshly nudged by another. Furuhashi was gazing at you with his iconic dead fish eyes… He had been trying to help you study but he just couldn’t keep you focused long enough, “____, if you don’t want to study why did you ask?” 

It’s not like you didn’t want to study, honestly. You were falling behind in your language class and he was the best person to ask… and also the only person he’d be okay with you asking since deep down Furuhashi was a bit possessive… Poking his cheek softly with your sanrio pen you asked in your most angelic voice, “~Ko, could i please apply my makeup to your handsome face? It would help wake me up and change the mood in the room.” Adding the puppy pout you looked so pathetic, it made him want to hurt you… 

With a great big sigh, Furuhashi finally caved. He hated makeup being on his face and this wasn’t his first rodeo which is exactly why he always gave you a blank stare and walked away when you asked in the past. His young sister has done this to him in the past and he absolutely hates the way it feels on his face, not only that but it gives him anxiety. 

Doesn’t look thrilled 90% of the time you’re applying your makeup on him. Will look curiously at certain products and arch his eyebrow at you as you dip your brush into the odd looking product in your hand. Asks questions and will grab your wrists when he sees a color he isn’t too fond about -reminds him of the time his younger sister did it and it stained-. 

Will smile ever so gently at you when you’re turned around reaching for a new product as you ramble on about how it works better than the other brands. Furuhashi actually finds you quite adorable at the moment, he’s amazed you’re so passionate about makeup. And as he turns around to look in the mirror -with you still turned around- he’s even more amazed at just how talented you are at it. It makes him want to continue to protect you so you can accomplish your beauty dreams without any interference, though he’ll never admit that openly to you. 

Hanamiya:

Hanamiya has never been so damn annoyed or tired in his entire life, and he’s been through quite the irritating situations before. However as you continue day in and day out asking him… no, scratch that… begging him if you can put makeup on his pasty face his eyes grow more tired and exasperated. 

Eventually snaps on you and makes you cry by calling you an annoyance and that you’ve been nothing but a pest the past week. Give it about an hour though, deep down he knows he messed up and with a click of his tongue he’s off to find you. 

“Hanamiya! I challenge you to a basketball game!!” With unstable quivering legs, you stood as tall as you can as you throw the basketball at the back of Hanamiya’s head…. Ah yes, this is why he loved you and kept you around, not only were you always pulling dumb stunts around him but you also tried to act as if you weren’t afraid of the consequences. Turning around with a devilish smirk, hanamiya replied to you as he picks up the orange sport ball, “Oh? And what might my little ____ want if she wins?” He knew you didn’t have a chance but this was too much fun seeing you have so much hope just so he could take it away.

“I-If i w-win I get to ap-apply my makeup to you… I- I-” Looking down with sullen eyes your voice became low and Hanamiya could hear the deep dejection in it… “I’m just really nervous because this Salon got ahold of me and asked if i could come in a show them my skills… Th-that they are interested in having me there with them… but i wanted to practice on an actual person… i- This was dumb, gomen’nasai Makoto…” 

Before you could even walk away the basketball had made contact with the back of your head this time. Twirling around holding the back of your head you saw that Hanamiya’s eyes were concealed with his jet black hair but his signature grin was fully on display, “Oi oi, who said you could walk away from me? Let’s play.”

It took a solid two hours but you finally managed to beat Hanamiya… Not that you won by pure skills or anything, Hanamiya had let you win. 

Applying his makeup actually ends up being more fun than you thought it would be, though there were a lot of times where he was making it difficult for you -surprise-. Hanamiya will “accidentally” knock a brush out of your hands here and there along with blowing the eyeshadow right off your shadow brush. You don’t know what overcame you but in the heat of the moment you decided to just dump your loose glitter all over his head since he wouldn’t stop acting out, and with a booming laugh you hold your stomach as you die from pure joy after seeing his face.

The atmosphere in your bathroom has changed drastically and his presence is menacing… “Ha-Hanamiya… i- I-im so sorry i just.. I thought it wou-” 

Grabbing you by your throat Hanamiya pins you against the sink as his mouth gets dangerously close to your ear. You can feel his hot breath as he whispers in your ear, “I think it’s time you learned your place, pet.” You’re frightened and unaware of what to do until you feel loose face powder his your face, “BAAAAKA!” Sticking his tongue out at you Hanamiya proceeds to coat your face with loose powder.

[ohhicas]

I've only been into comics for a few years, but I've read enough of the old Flash stuff where I adore the classic incarnations of the Rogues. Honestly curious here: what's it like to be a fan of James Jesse back when he was retgonned around 10 years ago and see him brought back but now all mwahaha crazy evil? I'm way more used to Axel (and all that off-panel character development in Nu52, thanks DC) but even I find this kinda weird. Was James ever crazy evil in any arc?

^- me 90% of the time someone says James is coming back to recent media & it’s not a direct continuation of the comics prior to 2004

[ Warning: this is gonna get long and be full of a lot of assumptions. I can never form solid statements and things will get jumbled, because I suck at presenting things ]

[ this is my can of worms hill and you opened it so I’m dYING HERE ]

I mean, back in the earliest ages, no Rogue had a real personality to speak of? They were just “1960s Bad Guy in a different outfit” at the very start, with quirks! Like James having a thing for toys and nuclear powered flying tricycles. It wasn’t until that era ended that they started getting real distinct and into what a lot of ‘classic’ James fans loved and appreciated? 

(I think at least, I’m just One Person here pretending like I even understand HALF of what the ‘classic’ fandom enjoyed. I’m wildly speculating just going off what fanworks I’ve seen produced.)

(I don’t have all my scans anymore but I’ll toss in scans when I have them)

But that’s when we started getting things like James actually having specified friendships with certain people

or clear distaste towards others, and when you could tell he was more of a wild card than the others. Or when he decided to fuck off and hang out in Hollywood with Blue Devil for a bit, even siding with Kid Devil to deck out Captain Boomerang. 

Or when he decided to fuck off to Gotham, to mess with Catwoman by pretending he didn’t know who she was, but absolutely knew who she was because of how she walked and carried herself, but James being James was like “mmmmm long con, nope”

hey lil Cold, gimme all ur guns and don’t question why I’m in drag xoxo

Even then, he wasn’t shown to be vicious yet! He’d hopped around various places, was still considered A Rogue, A Criminal, and as far as any comic reader could tell by trying to count up how many civilians may have been crossfired at, he had no On Purpose deaths racked? Like, the only thing you could really argue was he may have made someone drive their car off a cliff once, but I’m like 98% sure they’re fine. He’s not a murderer, he’s just here for a laugh and a long-con for funsies because he know he can get away with it!

AND THEN WE GET A LITTLE OLDER, LITTLE DARKER

[ I’M PUTTING A CUT HERE CAUSE AFTER I THREW IT INTO DRAFTS, I REALIZED I GOT REALLY LONG, I’M SORRY IF MY LAYOUT SUCKS ASS FOR THIS. ]

little more 90s Hair. Little more 90s stereotypical “But what if EVERYONE WENT TO HELL” demon plots against Satanic Hockey Hair Neron. And James? still wasn’t evil? He was a little dismissive when everyone ELSE died sure but he still in the end turned around like “nghgng I’m THE ONLY ONE”, purposely got his ass down there, regretted it, and then beat Neron at his own game to save the entire fucking world. Because! He could! And he did it so well. STILL NOT EVIL, even when he had a chance right then and there to take over everything alongside Neron should he so desire. Like, two words, maybe some under the table BJs depending on how you feel about that pairing (I don’t), and bam. He would’ve bested nearly any other villain in the DCU save like, Satan himself. Or i guess one of those world destroyers. But we’ll get back around to those BOY HOWDY WE WILL GET AROUND TO THOSE. 

So James! Saves! The world! Sorta! Later they fight Neron again and his kid he somehow had somewhere down the road (it sounds like I’m complaining, i’m not, I love Billy and Mindy both I just wish they showed up like… ever again?) and he sTILL SAVES EVERYONE. 

Piper helps by their 90s ponytails combined. 

Somewhere around here, because dates and timing aren’t my strong suit, he also goes and messes with Bart for a bit. It’s pretty much a Spy Vs Spy episode, but with less bloodshed. 

ANYWAY IT’S AFTER THIS POINT THAT THINGS GET… where I think the majority of “James is a Low Rate Joker” comes from? 

For some unknown goddamn reason, in between issues (James wasn’t a Super Frequent Rogue? He’d show up, sure, but in the huge run of the series he’d just kind of vanish for 20 issues at a time and you’d go “welp, guess he’s still alive”) James went super-cop? like, the FBI? For some reason? Hired James “I am a probably still wanted felon, a man who has escaped jail numerous times, probably never served a full sentence, known Trickster and liar” Jesse. to the FBI. And for so many issues it’s like he legit just. Did this. He threatens to shoot Piper who he was up until this very moment, considerably very close friends with (as far as comics would show Rogue/Rogue friendships), unwilling to help his friend clearly framed for murder of his parents and losing his mind by the day. Despite James talking Hart down a little on the whole ‘THE MAYOR IS ROSCOE ADN NOBODY BELIEVES MEEEEEEEE” thing. 

Also he steals Digger’s dead ass corpse? 

FBI James is a fucking enigma. Here he is standing up for Gay Rights even though Piper is like “mm maybe I should forgive my abuser??”

BUT. AFTER THIS? WE GET COUNTDOWN WHICH IS JUST. Countdown is. IT’s a problem. James’s personality is IMMEDIATELY HORRIBLY u-turned into “well we need SOMEONE to be the Bad Guy to Piper’s Good!” DESPITE. ALL THESE YEARS OF COMICS.This is the shit you’ll see people who don’t know better or just want a reason to hate the Trickster (despite being 100% okay for them to just say he’s annoying/they don’t like his tights/acrobats are stupid) reference. James is, suddenly, very abruptly, a homophobe. Like an “ew don’t touch me” level homophobe because I’m pretty sure DC snorts cocaine and threw a dart at a board for “how could they make these two fight” and landed on GAY RIGHTS IS TRENDING. 

BUTSTILL IN THE FUCKING END OF ALL OF THIS?After so many issues of James being a complete fuckass prick? 

springboards himself from his current job of being railroad face putty to catching bullets to make sure Piper wasn’t gonna die. Without knowing the proceedings of this entire plotline, James out of nowhere after so much gaybashing, still finds it in him to leap into the path of multiple bullets and save Piper. Because, yknow, he’s evil!

Later it’s shown he’s been working to take everyone down (y’know, like when he was in the FBI) and left Piper specific helpful notes to do it himself. Because Evil Bad Guy! Helping his gone-good friend! Take down bad guys! 

DC I STILL HAVE SO MANY GODDMAN QUESTOINgsd

But yeah that’s. That’s where we last saw James. in 2007, dead, after saving Piper when he could have easily pulled a Joker and ripped HIM down to take hte bullets and etcetc, y’know. Something a Very Bad Person would’ve done, like the characterization we’ve seen now. 

His ghost (easily argued as Piper’s own mental construction of James sassing him) sasses Hartley to even, in his mental state, saw off James’s hand so Piper doesn’t have to lug his weight around and has a fighting chance at living. And in the end, when Piper’s fighting the thing that can destroy the fucking world, it’s shown only Piper was the one who could save them? Because his flute, and his musical ability, and [enter DC comic science here]. You could argue this was James, once again, somehow knowing the long-con at play here, getting screwed over at EVERY turn, and sacrificing himself so they ‘good’ team had a fighting chance.You could also argue this is me losing my mind trying to make sense of the things they made James do. (my running argument is he was purposely a prick to push Piper away, so he could keep him safe) 

Also Piper plays James a Swan Song of Queen as the final boss explodes and he’s fully prepared to die. So like. There’s that. 

AND THATS BASICALLY THE COMICS? The main, ‘canon timeline’ comics. I’m missing a LOT of little things here and there, but I’m not missing anything like body counts, or murder attempts, beyond the old Silver Age “Bad guy of the week” things like trying to make Flash’s head explode, or you know. Other “nobody really has a personality, we just have quirks”. 

MY NUMBER ONE GUESS TO WHERE THIS NEW PERSONALITY TREND COMES FROM?

Mark Hamil|’s OG run as him in the old live action show. That characterization was fun, for the time, and I even enjoyed it cause it was just that off the wall and you could tell it was what they used to decide he should be the Joker for the BATS Joker. Consider it a prototype (combined with all the previous comic jokers but that’s not for this long ass post) 

And if it’d stayed there, that’d be it! That’s it! But then JLU came along, and they referenced the old show for their version of James with a sprinkling of early-era comics, and a lot of people loved and watched that show. That was their version of the Trickster, because it was their first meeting with him! And I can’t fault that! But that guy was clearly off his rocker and I’m sure if the JLU allowed a higher rating, it would’ve been even closer to the old TV show. 

And both of THOSE were heavily, heavily referenced for the CW version, which as I’m at this point now means I need to slap my usual anti-CW tag onto things. I hate the CW James. There is so little comic in him it’s almost disgusting, and they ramped up so much of the Joker side of JLU & OGTV he might as well just be the Joker. It’s not a good representation of him at all. I have, also, only seen his first appearance episode, so maybe I’m wrong? But when you fuck up hard on the first run, why would I return for round 2? 

So with ALL THIS– 

REBOOT TIME. Whatever the newnew remake is calling itself. 

At first! With how James was! In the first panel flash of him clearly behind the scenes tugging so many wires and lines, watching everything with a bucket of popcorn while pulling others to his side, sitting pretty in an old museum? warehouse? highlighted in purples and vintage toys, I was like “holy shit this it. This is My Boy, back from the goddamn limbo-dead. It’s him.” But then“taking over the city entirely” to do? What? Turn it into the world’s biggest Trickster themepark? Make everyone wear striped leggings and combat boots? Martial Law of murder if you don’t carry rubber chickens? This is already veering from anything major James has ever done. As it stands I can’t see the gag here. Its’ weirdly dark and edgy, and way too close to something we saw the 90s TV show Trickster do, in the episode where he basically took over the place. The previews show him being what I’m assuming a Judge, Jury, & Executioner joke– and unless this spins into a Clopin song and dance number and his little hand puppet crops up to slam the button on the guillotine, I’m not having it, DC. 

They’re trying to tie him back into the CW, despite the writer saying he really enjoyed the Neron-era things with James (if I’m remembering the interview correctly). And it’s also why you may see me constantly saying “Well I sure as fuck hope Neron shows up” at anything new that’s released, to explain away all of… this.

This isn’t him. If they wanted a murderous Trickster, they should’ve just used Axel. The kid, canonly, tied explosives to stray dogs and homeless people. AXEL is the not-good Trickster, the murderous Trickster, the one you aren’t suppose to feel sorry for beyond being in way over his head due to his young age. 

i think I somehow didn’t answer your question

TL;DR

it sucks? it’s also great because there’s a .5% chance that maybe they’ll do it right and won’t reference the fucking 90s noncomic media. But then they do. And all I can do is laugh and shrug like ‘welp I expected nothing’. But when they get it RIGHT it’s like christmas came early.

[nageill]

Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!

Yes, for Night #02 for our 31 Nights of Halloween viewing, I watched the 1980′s Burton film Beetlejuice, the one that spawned a cartoon series, apparently several video games, and now a Broadway musical.

Beetlejuice

Season/Episode: N/A. Original Release Date: March 30, 1988. Directed: Tim Burton. Written: Michael McDowell & Warren Skaaren. Summary: After a tragic accident, the recently deceased Maitlands hire a “bio-exorcist” to help them scare away the new family who moved into their peaceful home.

Available for Streaming: Yes.

HBO Max. Google Play. Amazon Prime. YouTube. Vudu. Apple TV.

Review: Now, my first exposure to Beetlejuice, the character, came from the cartoon series released in the early 90′s. I absolutely fell in love with Lydia, loved the macabre aesthetic of the cartoon, and just thought BJ was hilarious. Fast forward to sometime in my teens, the movie finally came on television, and I watched it with my family (my parents are big Michael Keaton fans), and we all loved it--even if the dynamics between Lydia and Beetlejuice are very different compared to their animated counterparts.

I have to say, for a movie that was made in the late-80′s, the special effects are still not that bad. Yes, it’s not as polished, but if you compare it to the cheaper made horror films or lower budget comedies present-day, I think they hold up. Not to mention the stop animation. I am a sucker for stop animation. There is just something utterly charming about it. Danny Elfman is one of my favorite composers (shush, I don’t care if that makes me basic, I love his music), and there are still times I hum the Beetlejuice theme. This is probably my favorite Alec Baldwin movie (certainly the one role I find him appealing in); Michael Keaton just steals the show as the infamous Beetlejuice; and the ladies-- Winona Ryder, Geena Davis, and Catherine O’Hara--are just sublime. I love this cast.

What makes this movie work for me is the attention to detail Tim Burton has in his movies; everything is so stylized, and it all fits together. Nothing feels out of place. And additionally, the balance between horror, raunchy humor, dry wit, and physical comedy--it’s not easy to balance, and I’ve seen a lot of movies fail at this (Ghostbusters: Answer the Call, Nurse Betty, Evil Dead 2). But this movie did it. Special kudos, again, to Keaton’s portrayal of Beetlejuice in this regard, because it takes a very talented actor to make a disgusting character like BJ and make him still very likeable.

And can we just mention the dinner table scene? That is one of my favorite scenes in all movies. In fact, I’m just going to close out my review with the scene here:

Enjoy!

Trick-or-Treat: Definitely a Treat, if you’re in the mood for laugh and don’t mind some mildly perverted humor or stop animation. It’s not very spooky, and maybe not completely appropriate for little kids, but if you want something on the lighter side for Halloween, I’d definitely recommend giving this a watch.

Rating: 9/10 👾

[prodigyduck]

That Time I Almost Got Mercedes Lackey Killed...

So let me tell you about Gen Con 2018 and how I almost got Award-Winning novelist Mercedes Lackey killed...

 To get the story started, you'll need to know that I am acquainted with New York Times Best Selling Novelists Larry Dixon and Mercedes Lackey. If you are unfamiliar with their work:

 * Misty is the author of over 100 fantasy novels. She also has a successful superhero series under her belt. And despite being in her 60s, does not look like she is going to stop writing anytime soon.

 * Larry is also an author, who has collaborated with Misty on several Valdemar novels. He is a fantastic illustrator. Both are avid bird enthusiasts. Remember the giant eagles from Lord of the Rings? Those are thanks to the film and footage taken by Larry. The same footage has been used by Weta Workshop to create the griffons in the Narnia and Warcraft films.

 So, anywho...

 Larry recently succumbed to an old shoulder injury he received during his days as a volunteer fire fighter. It was pretty bad. He had limited mobility, had to wear a sling, and could not lift more than 5 pounds for risk of tearing his shoulder out of its socket. As it was only three weeks from Gen Con, and they had already promised their fans they would be there, Larry asked if I could drive Misty to Gen Con and watch over her during the convention. They were also going to be sharing a booth space with my favorite independent film crew Zombie Orpheus Entertainment; for whom Larry has been doing script writing recently.

 Previous to this, I was not planning to attend Gen Con this year. Financially, 2018 has not been a good year for me. I have been making enough money to pay my share of the household bills and groceries. But I have not been making enough to save up for extra fun things like vacations or conventions. Ah, the life of a freelancer! So, getting asked to go to Gen Con was made me very happy. Knowing that the room and expenses would be covered helped greatly! All I really needed to do was acquire a badge and save up as much money as I could for the next three weeks to have a little extra spending cash for the dealer room.

 In the three weeks leading up to Gen Con, I had managed to accumulate about $300 of extra spending cash. Not bad, but not nearly as much as I usually have to spend in previous years. However, the week before we leave, Rogue Genius Games drops $1,500 on me for recent sales of my newly-released Super Powered Legends Sourcebook. Suddenly, all of my financial worries for Gen Con vanish! Yay!

 Sunday -- four days before Gen Con -- my friends marc and Tom drop me off at Larry and Misty's home so I can spend the next day helping with packing and sorting. About 10 AM Monday morning, we have a tsunami roll through the area and it knocks out the electricity. Given the rural area, the power does not get turned back on until 4 AM the following day. Needless to say, we were able to get nothing done with no power available. Tuesday is a mad rush to get everything done that we had not done Monday. Books are packed, posters and art prints are signed, Larry is trying to put EVERYTHING in the Ford Flex -- and I do mean everything! He wants us to take a giant printer, camera tripods, and several Go-Pros for ZOE to use. My foot goes down at 3 PM. Nothing more is going in that vehicle and we are leaving. Larry is literally trying to give us more stuff as we are backing out of the driveway. Bye, Larry... bye!

 Once we get on the road, everything goes smoothly! We have driven through St.  Louis, Missouri around 9 PM and stop at a Motel for the night at 10 PM. The next morning, we awaken at 11, get some breakfast, and go. According to the GPS, we are only three and a half hours from Indianapolis. And, thanks to smooth traffic, we get there in that time. Check in to our hotel, I go and grab my badge from the VIG Lounge, deliver some buttons I made for BJ Hensley, and all is good!

 Thursday, everything goes great. I escort Misty to all her seminars. At the first one, I get to meet the authors of the Expanse! When we get to her autograph signing time, she lets me know that I am free to do what I want for the rest of the day, and I go through the dealer room. First day of Gen Con done! That evening, Misty lets me know that she only has one seminar to attend at 4 PM the next day and that she will otherwise be at the ZOE booth until then. I am otherwise free to do what I want until 4.

 Then Friday...

 Misty's 9:00 alarm goes off and she re-sets it. But she does not get out of bed. Seeing she wants more sleep, I make quick use of the bathroom, dress, and make my way out. It's 10:00 Misty is still asleep, as far as I can tell. I am standing in line to sell some miniatures at the CoolStuffInc booth when Larry calls me at 11:30 to tell me that Misty has had a stroke and my stomach drops to my feet. She is currently at the hospital. I run back to the room, and try to answer all the doctor's questions that I can. I pack an overnight bag for Misty, which is grabbed by her ZOE handler, Judy, and taken to the hospital. Otherwise, I am in the hotel room alone for most of the day, fretting and worried. I get calls every couple of hours for updates. At 4, I am coaxed out of the room by Larry, who convinces me to put on my game face and help show the con that we are still there for the fans. The show must go on.

 I still can't help but feel like shit because I was not there for Misty when she needed me.

 I finally get some food -- my first in the day -- about 9 PM.

 Saturday, I am awoken by a phone call. Misty is okay. I was NOT a stroke. In fact, it was a toxic reaction to the outgassing of the new room we were staying in. The hotel wanted to impress Misty with its newest-refurbished room, not realizing they needed to let it vent from all the paint and redecorating. And given we were 11 stories up, none of the windows are able to open for outdoor ventilation. But, Misty is otherwise okay. I am up and out to the ZOE booth. The show must go on. We are here for the fans!

 I have a curtain call for the Gamers: LIVE! show at 11:40 AM. At 11:20, Misty calls me to say I should gather my things in the room, as the hotel will be moving us to a room that is not so... newly refurbished; one that has already undergone its full outgassing period. I am internally screaming my entire way to the room, throw everything into my suitcase on the bed, and run all the way back to ICC 500, where the show will be. I am pouring sweat from what should have been a 30 minute round-trip done in 15 minutes. But I am there for the show!

 Obviously, I sucked, because I have no improv skills -- especially when compared to the comedy talent of the ZOE crew -- which is why I quit acting during my Jr. High School years. But where I missed out on improv, I excelled at artistic comedy; holding up quick illustrations of goblins going "pew-pew-pew" after Owen Stephens suggested the villain of the show was a space ("SPACE!") goblin. Close to the end of the show, Satine Phoenix and Rudy Rootenburg appear, along with the rest of the Maze Arcana crew, and steal the show. This is the first time Satine and I have meet in person. We have spoken many times over private chat; both being fans of tabletop rpgs and both being professional artists. She gave me the biggest hug.

 At that moment, I realized something... I was no longer sweating (thank the gods!), but I was no daisy either. Also... Satine Phoenix is a fucking ANGEL! She just... radiates... positively, joy, compassion, love... all the things that are good and wonderful and being a human. I really hope I get to meet her again, maybe for more than 5 minutes.

 After the show, I return to the (new) hotel room to find Misty there with several of her author friends. They are laughing and talking about the experience Misty just had. As Misty describes it: "I have never been to Woodstock, but last night I went to Woodstock! Those hallucinations were something!" She went on to describe seeing a woman with brown hair and an astronaut suit standing in between the paramedics who took her from the hotel room. She saw visions of the actors from ZOE, and all the different characters each of them played, having a rave. In the MRI, she saw a sheet of  red blood cells covering her. As the MRI machine made a noise, the sheet got closer and closer to her face. Misty was aware that if she blew her breath at the sheet, it would be pushed away...

 Yeah... she has new material for her next several novels.

 By Saturday afternoon, Misty is back at the ZOE booth, signing books for fans and telling the story of what happened to her to each one. All of them are crying, glad that their favorite author is not dead. I am sitting next to Misty, putting on my brave face and trying not to break down, either... I still feel like crap for not having been there for her when she needed me. but she's safe. She's smiling.

 The rest of Gen Con goes smoothly. The drive back goes so smoothly that we get Misty home in one day (apparently I have my father's endurance for long-distance driving). I call my friend Marc and ask if he is willing to pick me up. I really want to sleep in my own bed. It's been over a week, and I want to be home. Marc does, indeed pick me up, and I recall all of this to him on the three-hour drive home.

 It's 2 AM on Tuesday when I get to sleep in my own bed. At this point, I am really glad that I had the forethought to wash my sheets before I left for Gen Con. I was tired of smelling my own body odor. I slept so good that night.

[deja-you]

times new roman | headcanons

t. jefferson x reader

profiles | part one

A/N: This isn’t another chapter, sorryyyyy. i promise i’m working on it, but then this popped into my head and here we are. so this is all stuff that Thomas and y/n would do as a couple. we’re not quite there yet in the timeline of TNR, but we’ll get there. maybe. 

+ Thomas and Y/n love having movie nights.

+ Thomas always wants to watch old classics: Casablanca, Singin’ in the Rain, Citizen Kane, you name it. He likes old movies, old cars, old music. Y/n teases Thomas for having such dated taste. 

+ “Okay boomer.”

+ “For the last time, Y/n, I’m not a boomer. I’m only five years older than you.”

+ Y/n does most of the cooking. Not because she’s a woman and the kitchen is ‘her place’ or anything like that. One time Thomas made a ‘gourmet’ meal of macaroni and cheese. With a twist. The twist was adding alcohol.

+ “Adding alcohol makes everything better.”

+ No, it doesn’t. Y/n doesn’t let Thomas anywhere near the kitchen since the Mac ‘N Cheese Fiasco of 2020. 

+ Y/n only buys superhero or Disney princess band-aids. She’s very proud of them.

+ Thomas finds this out when he gets a paper cut while reading at Y/n’s apartment. She thinks he’s being dramatic, but he insists paper cuts are the worst. Regardless, Y/n comes back with two boxes of band-aids.

+ “You want Ant-Man or Cinderella?”

+ “Those are your band-aids? Why am I dating a child?”

+ “If you’re going to make fun of my band-aids, I’ll let you bleed out.”

+ Madison and Hamilton both tease Thomas for his Cinderella band-aid at work the next day, but he wears it as a badge of pride now. 

+ Washington gives Thomas the whole “if you break my daughter’s heart” speech, but secretly he loves Y/n and Thomas as a couple.

+ One day at work, Washington overhears Thomas make a “that’s what she said” joke.

+ “That’s what who said? I know you did not just make a sex joke about my daughter, Jefferson.”

+ Thomas melts where he’s sitting and wants to die. Alexander wishes he had brought a camera to film it all. Y/n hears all about this when Thomas gets home and can’t stop laughing. 

+ When they’re out in public, Thomas always likes to have his hands on Y/n. They’ll walk hand in hand. Thomas will wrap his arm around her waist, or while Y/n is talking to one of her friends, he’ll sling his arm around her shoulders and rest his chin on her shoulder. 

+ Although Y/n thinks it’s too much, Thomas will often buy her expensive gifts. She’ll come home to find a bag on her kitchen counter with the pair of heels she was eyeing in the store the other day or a statement necklace that reminded Thomas of her. 

+ His eyes light up (and Y/n could swear he drools a little) when he sees her wearing the items he bought for her. 

+ Y/n likes to wear Thomas’s old college sweatshirts from William & Mary. He’ll complain about her stealing his clothes but they both know he loves seeing her in them. Unless she’s only wearing his sweatshirt. Then he’d be happy to see her without it.

+ “Y/n Washington. Take that off.”

+ “How about you come over here and take it off for me?”

+ He does.

+ Yes, he decided. She looks much better without the sweatshirt. Y/n looks her best when her hair is all messed up and she’s sleeping soundly next to him in his bed.

+ Thomas makes Y/n coffee in the morning. He memorized just how many creams and how much sugar she likes the first time she told him. 

+ Y/n likes to watch Thomas play his violin in his magenta bath robe on Saturday evenings. It’s the highlight of her week. 

+ Y/n thinks Thomas’s apartment is lacking something and decides he needs a pet.

+ “I don’t need a pet. I don’t want a pet. They take too much work to take care of.”

+ “What about a fish?”

+ “I’m not getting a fish, Y/n.”

+ He gets a fish.

+ Thomas names the fish Monticello but he just calls him Monty. Monty is Thomas’s pride and joy, he carries pictures of his fish in his wallet and shows him off to his coworkers every chance he gets.

+ “No one cares about your fish, Jefferson.”

+ “Fuck you, Hamilton. Henry Knox asked how Monty was doing, for your information.”

+ After a week, Thomas decides Monty needs a bigger tank. And some plants. And a little sunken ship to play in.

+ Y/n finds Thomas cleaning out Monty’s fish tank when they were supposed to be going on a date.

+ “Are you really choosing a fish over me? I can’t believe it.”

+ She can believe it. She’s really not that surprised. 

+ “He needs me, Y/n!”

+ “And I need food. Come on, let’s go get something to eat. I’m thinking sushi, thoughts?”

+ “How dare you.”

+ Thomas takes Y/n out to Broadway shows. He has wealthy and famous clients, so he ends up taking Y/n backstage on multiple occasions to meet the casts of the productions.

+ Y/n completely fangirls over every actor she meets and Thomas apologizes on her behalf. But he doesn’t complain when she asks him to take a picture of her and the actor. 

+ She belts out the songs from the show all the way home, and Thomas can’t help but watch her with a smile. 

+ Y/n swings by the office on Wednesdays and they go out to lunch together. 

+ “Do you think I can order off the kid’s menu?”

+ “I can’t take you anywhere, can I, Y/n?”

+ But he takes her everywhere with him. Charity galas, business trips to Seattle, home to Virginia to meet his family. 

+ Thomas’s family loves Y/n immediately, and his sister’s seem to like Y/n more than they like Thomas. His sister’s take Y/n out for a girls night. They talk about all his annoying habits and stories from their childhood. 

+ At night, they’ll spend an hour in bed reading before they actually go to bed. Y/n wears reading glasses, and Thomas doesn’t know if she really needs them or if she just wears them because she knows he thinks she looks hot in them.

+ When the lights turn off, Thomas will pull Y/n to his chest and let the sound of her breathing rock him to sleep. 

+ When Y/n thinks Thomas is asleep, she’ll whisper “I love you” into the cotton of his shirt. 

+ He hears her. 

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