#if anyone does have any advice for making the heart look like it's glowing and lighting up kris I'd love to hear it!
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thegreenjojo · 9 months ago
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been thinking a lot about Kris... and their relationship with the player/the soul.... I am so excited to see where Toby Fox goes with this arghhhh
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mypimpademia · 4 months ago
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— You Look Good Baby
Bakugo x Black! Fem! Reader
Synopsis: Your boyfriend is your biggest hype man, and takes more pride in you than he does himself.
TW: Swearing
⇶ When you’re dating the Katsuki Bakugo, rest assured that he will make it his personal mission that you have just as much confidence as him, if not more
⇶ There will simply be no room for insecurities in your relationship when he has enough confidence for the both of you
⇶ Contrary to what most people think, Katsuki holds you in a much higher regard than himself
⇶ If there is anything he worships besides himself, it’s the ground you walk on
⇶ He hardly even calls you by your name, only ever “beautiful,” “gorgeous,” “angel,” “dollface,” and the occasional “sexy.”
⇶ Does nothing but compliment you, even doing so silently, with the way he ogles you making your heart stop in the best way possible
“K, c’mere and look at this dress real quick,” you call out to your husband as you twist to and fro in front of your mirror.
While your boyfriend isn’t the best in his personal clothing choices, or at least he wasn’t before you got together, he’s shockingly the best person to ask for clothing advice.
“Should I return this and just wear my other dress to the party? I don’t like the way it fits me,” you asked him as you spun around to face him.
If you didn’t know any better, you would say the look he gave you was one of disgust.
“The fuck are you talkin’ about? You look incredible,” he snarls.
Spinning you by your waist in the mirror with one hand, he uses his other to make your gaze meet your reflection.
“What’s not to like when you’re so damn perfect, huh?” Katsuki asks, while pressing kisses on your jaw and down to your collarbone.
Between kisses, he tells you everything he loves about how the dress looks on you while his fingers dance in the curls at the base of your neck. How the color makes your skin glow, how it fits your body so well, how you make the dress look good and not the other way around.
You can only whine in response, letting his words combat all the negative thoughts you had before.
“You look good baby, don’t worry your pretty little head,” he assures you, placing one final kiss on your lips.
“Thank you ‘Suki,” you huff in a bated breath.
“Don’t say thank you, say I know.”
⇶ If you didn’t already have a big head before dating Katsuki, you will after.
⇶ If he weren’t your boyfriend, his behavior wouldn’t be something you’d expect from him in a romantic relationship
⇶ Somehow manages to use his massive ego to build yours
⇶ He’ll always take a compliment from you, hell, he takes compliments from anyone, but coming from anyone else he only ever answers with some form of “I know.”
⇶ But when it comes from you, he always flips it back on you
⇶ You call him pretty, but he’ll always remind you that you’re prettier
⇶ You tell him he smells good and he’ll tell you that he’s ready to eat you up
⇶ You like his new shirt, but whatever you have on is better. You could be naked and it’d still be better.
⇶ When you’re dating someone as great as Katsuki Bakugo, it’s hard not to get a big head when you’re somehow always better than the “best person to ever exist,” (his words)
⇶ Shows you off in public, almost parading you around in front of paparazzi and at large events
⇶ And even on the rare instances that you’re not dangling off his arm, the only time he interacts with interviewers is when he gets the chance to talk about you
Katsuki had barely even walked halfway on the red carpet before getting annoyed.
The endless noise of press hounding him with questions, the bright flashes of cameras, and hands that have been god knows where reaching over the barrier, attempting to touch him.
He’s never been one to care much about his public appearances, and eventually stopped caring to answering questions as they almost never interested him.
But there was always a certain topic he couldn’t help but indulge in.
“Dynamight! Y/n hasn’t been with you at your last few events, fans are dying to know— have the two of you split?” An interviewer asked.
The crowd erupted into chatter and gossip at the question. From shocked gasps to fan girls hoping they’re getting their chance, Katsuki could do nothing more than roll his eyes.
As much as he hated to entertain such a nonsensical question, how could he pass up the opportunity to talk about you? And even worse, how could he let them think you were anything less than together?
“Split?” He chuckled. “Far from it. The wife’s at home watchin’, she just wasn’t feelin’ it tonight.”
⇶ Regardless of how long you’ve actually been together, you’ve always been and always will be Katsuki’s wife
⇶ He does plan to actually marry you one day, of course, but ever since you first got together you were as good as married
⇶ He’s instilled it so heavily that even the public forgets the two of you aren’t actually married
⇶ You can’t even count the amount of times you’ve seen “Pro Hero Dynamight’s Wife” in headlines to refer to you
⇶ And of course there’s the occasional, ‘Y/n Bakugo’ that will be written into articles as your attribution
⇶ While they often get changed by the publishers for credibility and accuracy purposes, Katsuki can’t help but relish in the thought of the day that you take his last name
“‘Y/n Bakugo Steals Spotlight From Hero Husband Dynamight in Custom Versace Dress at the Annual Hero Gala,’” you read out to Katsuki, who sits next to you on the couch.
“S’not really stealin’ spotlight if it was always on you,” he chimes, looking over to read the headline himself.
“Easy for you to say when you know everyone is there for you,” you said, playfully pouting your glossy lips.
“Yeah right, meanwhile it’s your name plastered on the headline,” he retorted, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth.
“Well technically it’s not my name,” you corrected.
Katsuki pulled back from you, as if you’d just slapped him or done something in the highest offense.
“Huh? The fuck do you mean it’s not your name?” He scoffed.
“Well I’m not a Bakugo, Katsuki,” you raised an eyebrow, confused by his defensiveness.
Katsuki kissed his teeth, and sighed in blatant defeat before perking up again.
“Guess we’re gonna have to fix that, huh?” He grinned.
Effortlessly scooping you into his arms, he held you in a tight embrace, making you squeal as a he peppered kisses all over your face and neck.
“I’m just gonna have to put a fuckin’ boulder on your finger, buy you the dress of your dreams, then make sure I get you the wedding of the century, yeah? Can’t have you walkin’ around sayin’ that’s not your name,” he punctuated his words with a suffocating kiss to your mouth, making dramatic and board line gross kissing noises for effect.
“Katsuki Bakugo, you have 5 seconds to put me down ‘fore I put my hands on you!” You laughed, breathlessly pulling away from the kiss.
“Or what, Y/n Bakugo?” Placing a rough kiss to your cheek. “That sounds good doesn’t it? Y/n Bakugo. Wonder how our kids’ names would s—”
“Katsuki!”
⇶ If Katsuki could get paid to take pride in you, he wouldn’t even need to do hero work anymore
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mamayan · 1 year ago
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🎃 Happy Halloween 🎃
Shigaraki Tomura x Fem! Reader
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Good girls should just stay home, lest something goes bump in the night.
cw: NSFW • Implied Murder • Implied Serial Killer • Consensual Non-Consent turned Non-Consensual • Noncon • Dubcon • Abuse • Fingering (F) • Oral (M) • Deep Throating • Rough Sex • Attempted Murder • Hair Pulling • Degradation/Slight Humiliation • Dacryphilia • Yandere Themes • Kidnapping • a little OOC • This story possessed me and basically wrote itself • Barely proof read tbh
wc: 7k+
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Something must be wrong with you.
Or at least, that’s what you imagine the world would think if anyone knew what you were doing.
The room was dark aside from the blue glow of your computer screen. The black web browser with red lettering almost ominous as your eyes scanned the consent form again. It was a consent form just to access the full website, on the surface serving only as a dating type of situation for the BDSM community. Beneath it though were layers deeper than what the simple description actually provided. You only found out about it through a deep dive into multiple sub-threads of Reddit. It was a basket case of crazy, the majority of information or advice, but you managed to dig up one reliable looking source.
This website you were currently on. L@ce&R0pe.com happened to provide a wide variety of goodies, from sex toys to actual published books on shibari, there wasn’t much you couldn’t find. Except like all websites not swallowed up by the deep web, there was never any section like the one you wanted so desperately.
Except this one, because your mouse didn’t hesitate to shift and hover over the drop down section for MEET, where you could link up with real people for whatever your heart desired really. You trailed down to NEW FRIEND, and clicked. A new tab opened, this one themed differently than the main website. It was light blue and pink, almost like a baby shower, except the only thing on the page was a single drop down menu, and clicking it made your head ache. There were thousands of options, but thankfully it was organized alphabetically, so you could easily scroll mindlessly until you hit the C section.
You found what you wanted, clicking it as your chosen option and hitting GO.
The screen changed, this time it looked similar to a dating profile fillable. You worked quickly, efficiently even, as you typed all your information in.
Not your name or address, nothing silly like that. Just your measurements, your favorite foods or beverages, the color of your eyes, your hair color, your height, and even the style of your nails. It asked if you liked to brush your hair everyday, how often you showered, what shampoo or body wash you like. You answered them all, as invasive as they soon became, you never wavered. What brand of deodorant do you use? How often do you clip or file your nails? To what length? Do you shave your pubic area? How often? What style? How many sexual partners have you had? Where have you had sex? Which hole do you prefer? Are you a crier or a screamer? Does blood turn you on? Do you like physical or mental pain more? Have you ever been raped before?
They got more personal and physiological as you answered. You felt hot and stuffy despite the window being open and the cool autumn air blowing in. You kept answering even as your throat got tighter and unease nestled into your clavicle.
Do you want to know who your new friend will be?
This time you do hesitate. Knowing would make it feel safer. Knowing would give you some semblance of control. Knowing would be the smart choice.
You clicked “no” and submitted the form, sealing your fate as your hands shook and adrenaline pumped through your veins.
You set the date for October 31st. Now all you had to do was wait and show up.
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A notification hit his phone, lighting up the screen as cigarette smoke billowed around him in the back alley. A quick glance was all he needed to unlock and fully see the entire screen. The leather of his jacket rubbed against the brick he leaned against.
Halloween was probably the best time for such fun, crime rates skyrocketing and parties being loud and wild really left a big gaping hole for any type of heinous activity to occur. He grinned as the information poured onto his screen. His dick already becoming painfully hard as he read all your supplied information. You liked breath play, having someone spit in your mouth, even being slapped around. He was always amazed by the lack of shortage for sick freaks like you, but then again, he was one of them too. Licking his top lip, tongue piercing flicking out to rub against his cupid’s bow, he clicked “ACCEPT” on the notification. He had all your information, the when and where, and your adorable little comment of “Please don’t degrade me.” What more could he ask for? His smile is sinister in the low light off the neon sign of the bar, casting a purplish hue on his skin as he chuckles and shoves his phone away. Flicking his cigarette butt onto the dirty ground, he cracked his neck and knuckles before going back inside to finish his beer and round of pool with his friends.
He’ll see you on Halloween. He might even dress up a little for the occasion.
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It’s cold.
It’s nearly November so you hadn’t expected warm weather necessarily, but it seemed chillier than usual despite your fairly insulated dress.
You dressed up as an angel, the irony not lost on you at all but it felt fitting almost for the occasion. The pristine white looked off in your surroundings. It was nearly midnight, but despite that the sidewalk of the park was filled with a fairly regular crowd of people passing through, on to the next party or home to sleep off all the alcohol. Really, you weren’t too out of place, in your white stockings and black heeled boots, the fluffy ruffled white babydoll dress that barely covered your ass or tits and the wings which were strapped around your shoulders and jutted out behind you. On your head was a slim clip which was attached to a white shiny halo that seemed to float above you, only a thin wire keeping it up. You’d at first felt a little exposed passing children going home for the night after trick or treating, eyes of judgemental families which you ignored boring into you, but now it was time for the adults to have fun. You’d already passed a plethora of college students or older dressed even more scantily than you, making you feel better, safer, out in the park you’d chosen. You’d chosen 0300 as your designated meetup time, but specified you’d be early in case they wanted to start sooner. So here you stood, under a streetlamp that illuminated you in a yellow glow, making you seem even more angelic despite the ominous darkness surrounding you. You were busy playing on your phone, scrolling mindlessly and trying not to appear too excited. Or scared. You figured it was a combination of both, the arousal and fear bleeding into one very specific but unnamed emotion. Tapping your boot to a rhythm only you could hear, the night drew on and another hour passed. The droves of people passing didn’t dwindle, but it was always a group, never a single individual which you hoped was your new friend. It was almost 0130 when you felt watched, goosebumps rising on your skin as you realized someone must be looking at you. A quick glance around showed no one though, and after ten minutes your hope dissolved into disappointment. It seemed your friend wasn’t an early bird.
“Hey,” a raspy, deep voice speaking almost directly into your ear, startling you enough to elicit a yelp. You turned, eyes landing on a dark clothed chest and trailing up to a hooded face you could barely make out through a mess of blue hair. His lips look a bit chapped, a small scar decorating a corner, but his teeth are white and straight as he smiles a grin that causes shivers to shoot down your spine.
…maybe your friend was an early bird, just not as much as you.
You take a step back, stuttering stupidly due to your overactive nerves and the earlier shock of his sudden appearance. “H-hi…um,” the stranger tilts his head, eyes still not visible, dark hoodie baggy on his frame. He looks a bit thin, like he wouldn’t have a lot of strength, his jeans having some strange splattering of fake blood or something on them. You lick your lips, heart ready to leap from your chest but not quite ready for the events to unfold.
Or maybe you were very ready.
“You’ve been standing here for hours,” he comments nonchalantly, hands moving to shove inside the large inner pocket on his hoodie, “Aren’t ya tired of waiting for your boyfriend?” His question is a bit confusing, and when you glance around you, it dawns that there’s no one out right now. When had the crowds dwindled to nothing? “I don’t… have a boyfriend…” you had clearly stated that online too, so he already knew the answer to your relationship status. Was he just teasing? Keeping this as realistic as possible? It made you a bit pleased. You fiddled with the ends of your cute frilly dress, exposing a small portion of your skin and garter belt which kept your thigh high socks up. His eyes tracked the motion, lips pulling up even higher making his smile menacing. Dangerous. “That so?” He asks, but it doesn’t seem like he’s too interested in a reply as he steps closer, his beat up sneakers so silent on the ground it’s a little unnerving. Since he’s playing along so much, it feels wrong for you to not reciprocate.
“What do you think you’re doing, creep? Stay back,” You hope he’s not offended by the name, figuring it wasn’t too mean or odd of a thing to call him. Your firm stance and defiant gaze make him pause, head tilting again but he’s quick to recover and laugh. It’s less of a sexy and deep chuckle like you expected, and more pitched and giggly. It’s almost creepy to hear from a grown man. Like a child from a horror movie laughing. “Creep? Yeah? Guess I am, but you know what?” His head lifts, and since he’s more centered under the tall street lamp, when he looks straight at you, two red eyes flash. “I’m a lot fucking worse than your average dumbass creep,” you jolt when he lunges at you, hand outstretched to grab you. It’s instinctive how quickly you turn and run, adrenaline helping you shoot off into the park where no light but the moon shined down. This is what you wanted, you chant to yourself to stay level headed enough to not truly panic. This was staged and as safe as possible. He’s not actually going to hurt you. You’d be fine, albeit maybe a little sore tomorrow morning. You shut your mind off and focus on running, though your speed wasn’t great in such cheap and unstable boots, roots and random objects on the ground constantly tripping you up.
You looked like the dumb girl in the horror movies, tits practically out of your low cut revealing white dress, strapless white bra damn useless and more for show than any real support or push-up. You huffed, digging in your heels when you heard a few twigs snap behind you, feet carrying you faster as you realized he was gaining on you quickly. He didn’t shout and you didn’t scream. The chase was exhilarating, your mind becoming fuzzy as your lungs burned for more oxygen. You hadn’t planned a chase, really leaving it all up to fate and your new friend, but this was perfect.
Until fingers tangled tight in your hair and yanked you completely off your feet, your shoes and legs going out in front of you as you landed gracelessly on your ass. Then an intense burning in your scalp erupts, a hiss of pain and a whine escaping as you slide over cool damp foliage, senseless grumbling coming from the stranger as he drags you into a deeper more secluded section of the park, away from any and all prying eyes. Not like anyone gave a damn. “I-it hurts!” You feel childish for crying, tears pricking your eyes but the burn was worse than you imagined truly, soft hands coming up to try and pry his fingers off.
He has a grip of iron apparently, not the least bit phased as he sighs, hauling you up and tossing you in front of him. You land weirdly on your left shoulder, a shock of pain numbing your mind as you heave for air and roll over. When you open your eyes, you’re face to face with him. His hood pulled off, shoulder length blue hair now tied back and up into a little bun while some stray pieces frame his face and forehead. Your eyes adjust to the darkness as they take him in.
He’s young, maybe early twenties, with pale skin and dark bags hugging beneath his scarlet eyes. He’s got a beauty mark just below his lip on the right side, the scar you saw earlier on the other. He’s not hard on the eyes, cute even, but the strange air around him makes the close proximity fill you with anxiety. His eyebrows are thin and sparse, but he cocks one with a smirk. “Not gonna scream for help, crybaby?” The nickname makes you realize tears are streaming down your cheeks, you blink them away quickly, shaking your head and trying to find your words again. “I—uh, do you want me to?” Wouldn't screaming just make it more likely for someone to call the police? You figured a little noise was fine, but screaming seemed counter productive.
His eyes widened a bit, confusion painting his features as he crouched down more comfortably on his haunches to get a better look at you.
He’d been watching you since you got to the park. A single party in this sort of place always sticks out like a sore thumb. You looked more ready for a porno than a costume party, from behind the view of your ass indescribably arousing in your short little dress. It was both a slutty and innocent look you pulled off well, at least enough to make him riled up, cock twitching in agreement within his pants. He shamelessly rubbed it through his jeans, caressing the hardening length and letting you watch with glee. Your face made him snort, amusement evident as he chuckles and squints. “You like this, little freak?” You looked like you did, he notes. Your wide pretty eyes, still a little teary and red at the ends, showed your blown out pupils. You looked to be more star struck, not terrified like any normal girl chased through a park and dragged into a little corner between some trees to be out of sight. He watches you swallow hard, lips parting before closing as if you aren’t sure what to say to that question. “Fuck, you’re cute,” he grins, “a cute little slut who stood out at night all alone as if begging for someone to come along and do something nasty.” You release a tiny yelp as he meanly shoves you back, straddling your upper chest with his thighs as he hunches over you, looming ominously above with wild eyes screaming for chaos. “Good thing that I came along, huh? Make all your nasty little fantasies come true.” He watches you gasp as he presses his fingers against your lips, confusion evident on your face but you aren’t really putting up much of a fight as you open and let him slide two in. “Nasty fucking girl, look at you, when you don’t even fucking know me.” He chuckles, and while he’s teasing you mostly, he is amazed. You looked erotic as hell right now, little angel costume all wrinkled and a bit dirty from the earth below, pretty face a bit stained with mascara that had run a little from your earlier tears. You weren’t wearing the waterproof kind it seemed. Lips bitten and chewed on, plump and glossy from whatever glittery shit you swiped on them earlier now wrapped around his digits as he dug around in your warm wet mouth. “Suck on them, slut,” he orders, his smile dropping and face becoming more serious as you hurry to obey, a strange trepidation building in your gut. He groans as he feels your tongue wiggle and swirl, pumping his fingers a bit now and enjoying the little bleats you release when he chokes you a bit with them. “Wonder if you’re soaked down here~” he hums, leaning back a bit and yanking his fingers from your lips, wiping the excess saliva across your cheek and huffing a laugh as your features wrinkle in distaste. His hand moves behind him, easy access to your cunt due to the frilly dress hiked up almost around your waist, revealing cute soaked white cotton panties he growls at the sight of. “You really suck at putting up a fight, crybaby, but I think I heard somewhere that girls get wet when scared too…” those red eyes flick back to your own, "You scared?” He asks, almost softly. He watches you breathe, chest struggling a bit under his weight but your hands curled into the fabric of his hoodie, not pushing him away. “A little…?” Is your shaky response, and he wonders silently if you’re an idiot or just a pervert. You might be both, because when he lets his thumb dig into where your pussy lay poorly hidden, you moan for him and spread your legs wider. You make it even easier to search for his desired location, your swollen bundle of nerves. “O-oh—!” Your head falls back, little halo becoming a bit misshapen as it gets flattened to the ground, he tsks, fixing it with his free hand as he thumbs your little clit and watches you mewl and writhe beneath him, pleasure clearly visible on your face. Your hips buck and wiggle, body pinned beneath his and unable to get away or closer like you desperately want for more friction than he’s providing. “P-please,” you can’t help but beg, hoping your new friend is merciful enough to make you cum and not simply edge you all night.
It’s the pouty expression which makes him nearly feral, his grin spreading wide again as he keeps working his finger on your clit but his face closes the distance between your own. His lips just barely graze yours, and you are all too happy to part your lips and give him a sloppy kiss back, his own tongue finally slipping into your mouth where you suck. The smooth muscle in your mouth and the saliva dripping from it drive you wild, hands now dragging him closer and trying to make him do more for you. The heat spreads slowly however, his pace not changing, and despite his slim build he’s much stronger than you. You aren’t able to take any more than what is given, huffing in exasperation and groaning when he places more force before easing off. “S-stop teasing…” you whine against his lips, which were much softer than they look. He smirks, airy chuckle felt more than heard as he shakes with a silent laugh, “how can I not, you’re such a rare find, I plan to take my time with you.” He kisses you hard to silence whatever whines you planned to release to make him give you more. Instead he forces you into a slow building orgasm that leaves him having to pin your wrists above your head lest your clawing rip his skin open. He works you gently and cruelly into it, loving how you gasp and choke for him, eyes rolling back while you shake almost like you’re possessed and soak through your panties. “There you go, heh, normally I wouldn’t bother to take my time with whiny bitches, but you’re more obedient and sweet than I first assumed.” He whispers into your ear as you come down from the mind blowing high, body limp and pliant like dough now. The insult from him brings out a little whine of protest, teary eyes looking at him with almost something akin to betrayal.
“I-I don’t like being called mean names…I said so online too,” he pulls up finally, the chill of the night attacking full force on your now exposed cunt as he brings your panties up to his nose to inhale. His eyes narrow, almost into slits as he pulls them back and shoves them into his hoodie pocket. “Oh yeah? You post that shit on your social media or something? Sorry, I don’t really use those trash platforms. I have a Twitch stream though,” he acts like this is the time for a regular conversation, even as he unbuttons and unzips his jeans, yanking them down his hips to pull his cock free. Your eyes go wide, mind a bit blank and missing something, in favor of looking at him pump his length lazily. A trail of blue curls like on his head travel from his navel to his groin where it spreads out a little, the color a bit darker as it goes lower. He’s not one to shave it seems, but your eyes focus on his cock, average in length but girthy with a tip that curves up almost perfectly. It looks like a cock someone would sell as a dildo at a sex store. It was pretty, admittedly, as a few pearls of pre-cum dotted the tip and spilled over as he slowly worked it above you. “Hungry?” He jokes, but when you nod he grits his teeth and bites back a moan, the night truly more unexpected than he thought. “Open up then, crybaby.” He thankfully didn’t call you a bitch again, crybaby the less of the evils and more acceptable of a petname for your preference as you open your lips and awkwardly lean your head forward. “No need to lean up,” he mumbles, shifting until his knees now rested by your shoulders, tip just in your mouth and his forearms on the earth above your head. He’s looking down at you, and you lay back down as he works his cock in your mouth. He’s going to fuck your mouth, you realize a bit late, the position so easy for him to hit balls deep in your throat and prevent you from running just from his weight alone. You’re pinned to earth, the scent of crisp autumn becoming mingled with the musky masculine odor the stranger had clinging to him. Something smelled of iron too, but it was fainter and didn’t bother you too much, not when he seemed determined to suffocate you with his cock. You jerk a little, teeth accidentally grazing his cock and his hiss of pain alerts you that you’ve hurt him. He pulls up and out of your mouth, glaring ferociously as he looks down at you with contemplation. “Sorry—! I’m not used—,” the words leaving you mouth go unfinished as you’re suddenly looking away and down, confusion wracking your mind before white hot pain erupts across your face and you cry out in agony.
He watches with a cool nonchalance as you whimper and cry, holding your inflamed cheek and looking at him with teary eyes filled with questions. The sight doesn’t help his hardness, your face swelling a bit from the force of the blow already, but it was still arousing how you cried for him so easily. “Don’t bite my fucking dick and I won’t hit you, clear?” He’s grabbing you roughly by the hair again, yanking you up and no longer in the mood for that awkward position as he stands and pulls you to your knees. This position at least gives him a good eye full of your tits, shaking from your little trembling as you’re made to look up at him. His angry reddened cock next to your injured cheek is a sight for him, his hand gripping his shaft and slapping you lightly on the cheek with it, his hand in your hair preventing you from turning away even as you whimper in pain. “Okay, we’ll try this again, crybaby. Open.” You do, even as tears run like waterfalls down your face, mascara smeared and making a pathetic sight for sore eyes of you, you let his cock enter your mouth once more.
Because you’ve never been more aroused.
Your stranger isn’t nice, pushing hard and deep into your throat immediately and gagging you. You’re careful with your teeth, jaw already burning and aching as he locks his arm and hand, strands of hair tearing out as he works his hips into your face at an uneven pace. “Stop fucking moving,” he growls, stepping even closer, blocking any and all exits and forcing you to take it. His cock didn’t seem so scary when he’d pulled it out, but in your throat it was a plug to your oxygen and felt too big for your poor mouth. It hurt, feeling him go too deep and leaving you coughing and sputtering and even still he wouldn’t pull out, groaning and pressing impossibly deep like he truly means to suffocate you. “You got a good little mouth pussy, crybaby. Fuck—take my cock, just like that.” He moans, watching as you struggle on his dick to breathe or swallow, slobber and tears coating his cock as he makes a mess of your pretty face. He doesn’t care that your eyes are starting to roll back, hands which had previously been clawing at his legs going limp at your sides. You acted more like a hole for him to fuck when you were limp like this, and it drove him wild as he grunted like an animal and rutted into your mouth like he held a grudge against you. Both hands dug into your hair, hands pulling you back onto his cock when his hips bucked you away. “Never fucked a—holy shit—ah, mouth so damn good before—, ah fuck, fuck,” he’s getting breathier as time ticks by, his own eyes rolling back as his balls draw up tight. “I’m going to cum, ready for me crybaby? Want it in your tummy or on your face?” He’s being condescending on purpose, but it’s a bit useless considering he’s rendered you nearly unconscious on his dick. He shrugs your lack of response off, pumping his cock down your throat until he sees stars and yanks himself free just before the first spurt misses and hits the grass below, he grips the base, pumping and shooting his next shot right onto your face. He yanks your head against his thigh, delirious face dazed and coughing softly as he finishes on your glitter and mascara run cheeks, using the tip to smear it well into your ruined makeup as he sneers at you from above.
“Hah…” he catches his breath, sucking in oxygen along with you as his gaze turns calculated.
“Wake up, I’m not done with you yet.” He’s more gentle now that he's cum at least once, tapping your uninjured cheek with two fingers as your eyes roll around before opening and looking at him.
He swears, your face making him hard again instantly, blood pooling to his groin at the messy sight of you in your white ruined angel costume. “You really are unlucky I was out tonight, I don’t think I’m gonna let you go.” His dead serious comment caused something cold to hit your veins, chills running through you as you gape in shock.
“W-what…?” He reaches into his hoodie pocket, pulling out what looked like a foot long serrated hunting blade. He snickers at the blank look of shock on your features.
“What’s wrong, crybaby? No tears for me right now?” You’re shaking, getting paler by the second as you realize no, it’s not a costume, and yes, there is still dried blood on the blade. There’s dried blood all over him, his spree tonight ridiculously fruitful and his body still high on the thrill. Imagine his luck finding you. “T-this wasn’t in my profile, wh-what are you doing?” Now you look alert, now you act like a regular civilian, he notes cooly. “I only con-consented to the sex and stuff, I said I didn’t like—like blades or blood play.” Your eyes are wide as saucers and you have a cold sweat now forming and dotting your skin, shaky like on too much caffeine as your body dumped chemicals to help you run.
His head tilts, a few more strands of hair coming loose from his tie as those red eyes watch you without any emotion in their depths.
“Ah~ I get it now. Are you some kind of freak who links up with people online for this kind of shit?” He laughs, eyes not matching the manic toothy grin. “Sorry to disappoint slut, I ain’t your tinder or whatever match. Did you do it anonymously?” He’s beyond amused, thrilled by the horror dawning on your face as reality sets in. “You’re a fucking idiot.” He sneers, but he’s joyful when you book it, heeled boots caked in mud as they dig into the ground and you take off for real. True intent to get away now because he’s not your new friend, he’s a real stranger and his energy is nothing but malevolent.
You’re going to die.
It’s a sick thought that twists inside you as you push the hardest you’ve ever, scream bubbling up and out as you cry for help now. “HELP! Please! Someone! Anyone!” It’s more broken and hoarse than you want, his earlier abuse to your throat having taken a number on your ability to vocalize.
It’s empty. This damn park is empty.
Not a soul around and you can’t hear him coming for you anymore, and it only makes the tears fall harder as you drive your body to a breaking point. If no one is around you can at least aim for your car, your phone will take too much time to look at and dial the police, you’d be too open and that would mean—
Something—someone—smashes into you, your body thrown sideways by the brute force and flung roughly to the ground where you roll several feet.
It hurts—!
Your body and mind scream as pain lights up your shoulder, a previously dull ache now hounding for your attention so much it left you lightheaded. You twisted your ankle too or maybe broke it, already so regretful for the evening and your life choices that your shoes hardly broke the bank. It all hurt, and yet you still tried to crawl to get away, still eager for another deep breath of air in your lungs even if it hurt to do that too.
“Hck, please, please—help—!,” you’re a sobbing pathetic mess, and he couldn’t be more turned on by the sight. He dusts himself off like he hadn’t tackled you like a linebacker for a major league football team, his lanky form sinewy with muscle and his agility nothing to scoff at. He swirls the enormous daunting blade with a whistle, smiling more genuinely as he strolls towards your shaking form crawling away.
“Where do you think you’re going, crybaby? I said I wasn’t done with you,” he lands a solid hit to your middle, dirty sneaker smearing mud on your cute little dress, looking less and less white as the night wears on. The blow is not hard enough to damage anything, he’s sure, but you act as if you’ve been disemboweled by how you howl and heave. He rolls his eyes at the dramatics, settling one foot between your shoulder blades and pressing down until you’re left immobilized.
Your vision is blurry, going in and out of focus as you try, and try, and try to get away, cute nail polish chipped and ruined as you claw at the dirt floor for leverage.
He admires your tenacity. “You think you can get away? That anyone is coming to save you?” He brushes a few stray hairs out of his face as he laughs, the urge to gut you strong as he savors your useless little struggle. “Crybaby, look around! No one is coming! I said look,” he grinds out, dropping to one knee while his other leg remains planted on your back, his hand gripping your hair and yanking your head up to see what he meant.
There’s a fence. A metal chain link fence, and it had a sign your vision was too blurry to read through your tears.
“You ran yourself straight into the worst possible area, this is sort of your game over,” He leans down to look at you, yanking your head back and forcing you into an uncomfortable arch. He raises up the blade, fully intending to slit your pretty throat and watch your eyes as the light fades, but you blubber out a sentence which halts him.
“Y-you didn’t finish! E-earlier, hck, earlier you didn’t finish—!” Your eyes squeeze closed in pain as he yanks your head to the side. Confusion burned in him, and curiosity kept you breathing for now.
“Didn’t finish what, crybaby? Fairly certain I finished all over your face, if I remember correctly.” He has a sharp edge in his tone, something metallic fills your mouth and you realize you’ve bitten through your tongue in your panic. A few drops spill past your lips, catching his attention.
“S-shouldn’t you also f-fuck me too? I-it’s why I came out tonight, wh-why I, ah, d-did this,” it’s a long shot by any means, and he’s no fool, but you did make a good point.
He was still hard.
“Smart little crybaby, aren’t you?” He mutters darkly, setting aside his blade in favor of smashing your face into the dirt, keeping your head down as he presses against your back and yanks your hips up. Your knees are skinned from the rough handling, socks torn open and stained with blood and dirt while his calloused hands slip beneath your dress. Your breath hitches. You needed to think of some way out of this, some kind of plan to escape or incapacitate him.
He’s busied himself with your still dripping cunt. Two fingers roughly filling your hole and uncaringly stretching your tight entrance. “You really are a freak, wet even though you’re going to die, crybaby.” He felt a bit strange as you whimper and mewl below, hand slowing as he tried to place the feeling.
He shrugs it off, instead easily yanking down his jeans which were still unbuttoned and pulling out his cock once more, stroking his shaft a few times before he lined himself up with your puffy lips. “Fuck—,” he swears, eyes seeing stars as he pushes just his tip past the tight ring of muscle at your entrance, mouth opening as licks his lips and stares down at you. “Never had pussy so good…” he giggles darkly, cracking his neck as he pushes each inch inside of you, stretching you out deliciously until you’re speared on his cock with his hips flush with your ass. “Who knew you’d be the best, crybaby.” He muses, fingers digging into the fat of your hips, your little dress flipped up and over your ass so he can watch it bounce as he leans back on his knees to fuck you deeper. You need to think straight but it’s difficult with how good your body feels, the pain from earlier seeming to go away with a numb buzz as he fills your pussy, hitting perfectly against a spot that has you arching harder for more.
You really are a freak like he says.
You can’t help relaxing further, eyes dumbly looking to the side where your head rests as he pounds into you from behind, the coil in your gut growing tighter by the minute.
The clouds blocking the moon seem to part just for you, the full moon’s light no longer blocked and illuminating the little patch of grass he’d tackled you into. Something gleams, in perfect reach too as your eyes widen.
His knife.
He’d already proven you can’t outrun him, but what if he was injured? There’s a major artery in the thigh, if you hit that, wouldn’t you be able to get away?
He yanks back roughly, moaning as he feels you squeeze even tighter around him, velvet walls massaging his dick while he tries to fuck himself as deep as possible inside of you.
It hit you despite all your intentions not to, because this wasn’t safe and he wants to end your life and everything is wrong, but your body doesn’t listen. You cum with a shaky cry, and with an awkward turn of your head you watch as his head goes back and he moans, eyes closed in bliss as you coat his cock in even more slick.
You’re louder than you intended to be, but your fingers close around the hilt nonetheless, trembling with the heavy weight in your grasp, you use every ounce of energy inside you to swing it back into his thigh.
“Cute,” you scream as he catches your wrist, hand clenching so tight you feel your bones grind together as the knife falls from your grip. He twists your arm around and pins your wrist behind your back, holding it in place while his other hand remains at your hip.
“So fucking cute, crybaby. Did you cum just to distract me or was that because you couldn’t help yourself?” He’s getting a high from this, from fucking you and turning you into nothing but a toy as he bounces you on his cock, hips still but arms pulling you back and forth with ease. Scarlet eyes drink you in with undisguised sick glee, and he’s finally able to place the feeling from earlier.
“A pretty little slut trying to get her rocks off and getting shown why she should’ve been a good girl and stayed home,” he grunts, releasing you and leaning over, pinning you with his weight and nearly knocking the air from your lungs how deeply he hits you inside from this angle. Dirt fills the underbelly of your nails, your fingers digging into the earth just for some semblance of stability.
You had none. It was a sick and horrifying realization. You have no control. You can do nothing to stop this. As deeply as it made your gut sink, another odd emotion rose to the surface.
A bubbly sensation that tore through you as your tears became less from fear and more from overstimulation.
His hips piston in and out of you, bullying your cervix in this position as he ruts into you like a hound, tongue hanging out of his mouth as he moans and grunts.
You break again, spasm and cinch down on his cock like a vice while you wail as if in mourning. Maybe you are, for yourself at least. “Oh fuck—! s’too much—, please, I can’t—, f-feels good, hah,” your nearly incoherent babbling sends him over the edge along with you, his own dull nails finally drawing blood as he holds you for dear life as he releases deep inside you, tip kissing right up against you womb as he cums. You can feel it too, his cock twitching inside as the night seems to still for a moment.
He holds you for a while. Breathing you in, nuzzling his face into your neck and licking you. He holds you until his cock fully softens and it hurt to be gripped so tightly inside your wet heat, regrettably pulling away.
He stands, putting his sticky limp cock away inside his underwear and pulling up his pants, looking down at your ruined figure that had slumped over to the side.
“Y’know, crybaby… you really resemble an angel now,” he smiles, red eyes almost glowing as the moon blankets his back and shadows his face. His hair seems almost white like this, your tired eyes note. You don’t move or even flinch as he grabs his knife and yanks your limp figure up by your hair. Even now you’re still crying, face lax despite the rivers flowing down your dirty swollen cheeks. You make no effort to stop him, having given up completely.
He crouches down again, mostly eye level now as he makes you look at him.
“You got any last words?” He’s being dead serious. He feels strange looking at the almost glazed over look in your eyes.
“W-what…” your voice is barely a whisper, but the night is so quiet he catches it, “what’s your…name?”
An unexpected question.
His eyes gleam, smile ravenous as he puts his lips against your ear and whispers it.
“Tomura, what’s your name, crybaby?” He asks, gently, almost like he’s actually interested.
You hoarsely whisper it, your last time ever saying it after tonight. He hums, like it pleases him, before he brings down the knife swiftly.
Your vision goes dark, the strike mercifully painless. Your last thoughts blur as you drift into soft nothingness.
He releases your hair, grabbing your limp figure up in his arms as he chuckles and sheaths his knife properly on his hip. “Dumb crybaby” his voice almost singing the words as he whistles and walks away, the park dead silent but even if someone had seen you in his arms, he could just play the good boyfriend taking his sweetheart home safely. It’s not entirely a lie either, his eyes glancing down at your unconscious form, pretty neck unmarred but a bruise would likely form on the back where he struck you tomorrow. Tomura had never felt compelled to allow a victim to live, but then again he’s never fucked a victim either, so you’re the first for a lot. He supposed it made you quite special, his legs carrying him in the direction of his car in the parking lot about a mile south. Obsession and possessiveness swirled in those red depths as they looked at your figure.
“Good girls should just stay home…” he continues his sardonic little tune, his smile gruesome and foreboding.
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Vibrant blue orbs check his surroundings again, noting once again his friend was a no show. Rolling his eyes, he knew it was too good to be true. Your profile screamed inexperienced and cautious, despite you clicking that you’d like him to remain anonymous beforehand. It didn’t matter, he’d just go enjoy some sorority girl pussy instead, figuring at 0330 that most parties would be winding down. Drunk girls dressed like sluts were his second favorite.
Dabi clicks the notify option on his app, letting the website staff know you never showed up.
Though, he muses if something did happen, the police wouldn’t be notified until it was too late. Halloween weekend after all meant you could be missing for quite a while before anyone noticed.
Not his problem though.
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Post dividers/@cafekitsune
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allgoodnamesrgoneee · 11 months ago
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Kylian Mbappé imagine where Kylian suspects you are pregnant and you deny it but somehow he’s right fluff
Suspicions
Masterlist
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A/N: Wrote this on the bus so it's probably shit but I hope you like it.
𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — Kylian knows you better than anyone.
𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — Kylian Mbappé x you
𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 — 1.4k
Warnings! Fluff, slight angst, unexpected pregnancy,
Kylian knows you.
Perhaps even better than you know yourself, he would say.
From how you prefer hot chocolate over coffee to how you always choose the window seat on airplanes, even though you're terrified of heights.
He knows you.
Lately, though, something's changed.
It all started with a hunch, a whispered in his mind, and he's been racking his brain trying to figure out what's wrong. Even going so far as to call his mom and ask her for advice. And he thinks he's got it.
Call it intuition or whatever, but Kylian knows you, and he thinks, No, he knows you're pregnant.
You're not as energetic as you usually are, seeming more fatigued than usual, with dark circles under your eyes, often taking naps during the day and struggling to stay awake in the evenings. You've been eating a lot more than usual, often craving weird food combinations, something you usually hate when he does. You've also been having trouble concentrating and remembering things, which is unusual for you.
Not to mention that your mood seems to be fluctuating, going from being extremely happy to feeling down and irritable within a short span of time. Like your emotions were on a rollercoaster ride.
All your symptoms point to pregnancy, and the likelihood catches him off guard. After all, you both have been careful, using protection. Still, he can feel it.
You're in the kitchen when he decides to approach you.
Preparing a simple dinner. Spagetti Carbonara, his favorite. You look beautiful—the way the apron cinches around your waist, accentuating your curves—curves he's sure weren't there a few weeks ago. And you have a certain glow about you.
As you glide across the kitchen to grab ingredients, Kylian watches you closely, noticing the slight scrunch of your nose as you stir the sauce. As if the smell is suddenly overwhelming. You move more slowly than usual, and every now and then, you take a break to give your lower back a little rub.
Yeah, he's sure now.
He takes a deep breath and approaches you.
His steps are slow and calculated as he tries to find the right words to say, heart pounding in his chest as he tries to predict your reaction.
"Mon amour," he whispers softly in your ear, wrapping his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder.
"Hey. Did you get bored with your game?" You ask, temporarily pausing your chopping as you lean back against him, his warm skin sending shivers down your spine.
"Yes…So I have something to ask you."He asks softly, nuzzling your neck and breathing in your scent. Curiosity piqued, you turn around to face him, looking into his eyes expectantly. His gaze is soft, intense. It makes your heart race.
"What is it?"
He takes a deep breath. "I've been thinking…" He pauses, swallows and releases a shaky breath. You frown slightly, sensing that this conversation is about to take a serious turn.
"Go on, you can tell me anything," you encourage him gently, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. He hesitates for a moment before finally speaking, his voice barely above a whisper. "Are you pregnant?" he asks, his eyes searching yours for any hint of confirmation.
The question catches you off guard, and you stiffen for a moment, trying to process his words. "Um, no, I'm not pregnant," you respond, letting out a confused laugh. "Where did that come from?"
Kylian pauses, his gaze dropping to the floor. "I...I don't know," he stammers, shoulders slumping slightly as he mutters. "It's just that...I noticed you've been acting different lately. You're more tired than usual, and your appetite has changed. Not to mention..." He trails off, leaving the sentence unfinished as he searches for the right words. The last thing he wanted was to make you feel bad about your slight weight gain, knowing how much you've struggled with it in the past.
You roll your eyes, snorting at the simple notion he's hinting at. There's no way. "Kylian, I'm on the pill. There's no way."
He nods, still convinced he's not wrong. "Yeah, I know, but...remember that time you forgot? I just want to make sure."
You shake your head, dismissing him. "That was weeks ago, Kylian. I've had my period since then. I'm sure it's just stress or something." You reassure, turning back to resume stirring the sauce, hand gripping tight on the wooden spoon.
Usually, Kylian would drop the subject at this point, but he's sure about this. Deep in his gut, he knows. And he's never wrong about his instincts.
He takes a step closer, placing a hand on your shoulder, hating the way you tense up under his touch. "Baby, I love you. And I know you, and I know when somethings wrong, trust me." He can tell you're getting irritated by the way your eyebrows furrow and your jaw clenches. But he can't let it go. "Let's just take the test, yeah. Just to be sure."
You pause for a moment, feeling torn. But you trust him. Plus, his intuition has proven right in the past. Reluctantly, you nod, realizing that it wouldn't hurt to get checked out.
"Alright," you concede, giving him a small smile. "If it'll make you feel better."
Your hands shake as you sit on the toilet, nerves fluttering in your stomach. Kylian is standing next to you, gently rubbing your back for support, as you wait for the results.
"Hey, it's going to be okay," he murmurs, squeezing you gently. You steal a glance up at him, chocolate-brown eyes soft as he gazes down at you with concern.
"I'm scared," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. Kylian's grip tightens. "Hey, I got you. I'm not going anywhere." He reassures you, leaning down to press the gentlest kiss on your lips.
The minutes feel like hours as you wait for the result. And your hands are shaking as your knee bounces in nervousness. The timer beeps, and your world stops.
You hold your breath as you pick up the test and hand it to Kylian, the small lump in your throat now feeling like a boulder. Your heart pounds in your chest as you watch him flip it over with trembling hands.
He stares at the test, jaw dropping at whatever he's reading, before a wide smile spreads across his face. Then he's running toward you.
He scoops you up in his arms, spinning you around as he exclaims, "Je le savais!" before gently setting you down and dropping the test into your hands. You stare at it in disbelief, jaw dropping as your eyes well up. (I knew it!")
Two pink lines—two lines that changes everything.
You sob when it finally hits and it catches Kylian off guard. He wraps his arms around you, holding you tightly as tears stream down your face. He doesn't say anything. Just holds you. Knowing that you don't need words right now. Just him.
He strokes your hair soothingly, whispering soothingly into your ear, his warm breath against your skin. And you cling to him. Cling to him like he's your lifeline- because right now he is.
The only thing grounding you to earth as you process this newfound information. You stand there for what feels like hours, just holding each other before you finally manage to whisper, "We're going to be parents."
Kylian gently wipes away a stray tear, voice filled with awe as he murmurs, "Yeah, you happy." not knowing how you felt based off of your reaction. His heart did backflips as he awaited your response. There's nothing he wanted more than a family with you. You're it for him. But he knows he'll stand beside you no matter what you decide.
So he schools his features, in case you choose a different path, and waits for you to speak, ready to support you in whatever decision you make.
"Yes!" You blumber, barely getting your words out as you choke on your own tears. "Y-Yes." Hiccups and sobs escape from your trembling lips.
His body sags with relief at your words before he's pulling you close once again and laying a hundred kisses all over your face."Thank you, thank you!" Tears fall from his eyes now. And he's bending down to get on his knees to lay kisses on your belly. "I love you so much. Thank you."
He stays like that for a long time, his tears soaking your shirt as he showers your belly with love.
And you know everything will be alright.
-Bianca🌻
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witches-dream · 2 months ago
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Imagine you have a son, and he's growing very disciplined, which is good, but he's very introverted, not really in a shut-in kinda way, he just seems very unapproachable to people, and he is, because he's just so serious all the time. Like you look at him and, yeah, he's gonna be great warrior, but you also wish that he could. Socialize a little?
So your son grows up and leaves to fulfill some kinda grand goal and you're like "ok, son", still kinda worried about him, but he's not your baby anymore, he can do what he wants. So he leaves and after a few days you hear this earth-shattering lightning strike, no storm before or after or anything, everybody is wondering what happened and if you'll all die soon. Nothing happens past that, actually, it feels strangely peaceful. So after a few days your son comes back and he doesn't look any different, but he has definitely changed in like a week or two that he was gone. So he says "father, I have defeated the black and white dragons". You're kinda shocked, but that explains the lightning strike and how everything went quiet after it, and your son is not one to lie, so you you say "oh, for real? neat". "They are not going to bother anyone anymore." Your son says in a solemn tone. Later, everyone celebrates but he doesn't come. You knock into his room, and, even through a closed door, you can feel some sort of power, warmth radiating from it. He opens the door and his sword looks... Different. First of all, it's much bigger. It has a completely different shape. And there's this... Purple gem on its handle and it's glowing brightly. Nobody in this village could've forged such an otherworldly masterpiece. So you ask "got a new sword, son?" He says "Yeah. It's a Soul Jam, actually." "A Soul Jam? Never heard of it." "I will tell you later."
He reluctantly agrees to join the celebration, but after a few weeks he leaves the village. He starts building a citadel, and walling off the coast of the Licorice Sea. People are already calling him Your Majesty, though he's slow on accepting that title. Many decades pass and you're so old you can't get out of the house on your own anymore. Your son visits and he looks the exact same as when he left. He takes care of you, with the same cold face he's always had, though his hands are warm and him just being there warms your heart. You strain your old and tired vocal cords to utter "I'm proud of you, son." He's silent, but he nods, and his long hair obscures his face, but you can imagine he's happy to hear that.
It's after you die that he accepts the throne, and the title of King that was decided by the people whose respect for him towered the mountains. And, as it turns out, your son is immortal now. And, through the years, through the decades and centuries and even millennia, he takes the utmost care of all his subordinates, he remembers every face of his every warrior and he etches out their names and immortalizes them and prays to them each day.
Your son does many great things, many heroic deeds. He defends the kingdom he founded with a resolution of a true warrior. Your son made friends. There's only four of them, they are heroes of their own lands just like him, so they're busy most of the time, but they go on adventures and they have fun once a couple of centuries. Your son also makes many mistakes, says things he deeply regrets. He has a son, and, even being thousands of years old, he still thinks of you and wishes he could be even half as great a father as you were.
Maybe sometimes your son wishes you were around to lend a word of advice, or to say "I'm proud of you" one more time. Other times, he's ashamed of a thought that you might be out there somewhere, watching him from the heavens and shaking your head in disapproval. You have no way of telling him you love him either way, with all his virtues and all his vices alike. What matters is that, in the end, your son overcomes all adversities and becomes a better person. He was given a unique chance in life: to have infinite time to learn, and he uses all that time to become a better person.
You have no regrets. You can rest peacefully, knowing you have raised a hero.
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dollishbabess · 2 months ago
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NOW WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE LIKE?! ── .✦ dollish
A/n: um so MY BIRTHDYA IS SOON IN DEC 7TH
I need gift ideas for myself!
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Jason paced back and forth in his room, the faint glow of his phone illuminating his furrowed brow. The calendar on the wall read your birthday date a day that struck both excitement and dread into his heart. It was your birthday, and he had nothing planned. Nothing at all. He rubbed the back of his neck, a habit he had developed when stressed. “What do I even get her?” he muttered to himself, glancing at the stack of gift ideas he had written down. It was a pitiful collection of random thoughts a cute sweater, a fancy coffee maker, a book he thought you might like none of which felt right. He wanted something special, something that would show just how much you meant to him. With a sigh, he grabbed his phone and texted your best friend, Emily. *Hey, do you have any ideas for Y/N’s birthday gift?* Moments later, his screen lit up with a reply *I’m not giving away any spoilers, but you should totally think outside the box!* “What does that even mean?” he groaned, tossing his phone onto the bed. He took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of ideas swirling in his head. He decided to reach out to another friend, Mark, who had a reputation for giving great advice. *Need your help, man. What should I get Y/N for her birthday?* Mark responded quickly, *You know her better than anyone. Just think about what she loves!* Jason felt frustration bubbling up inside him. “If only it were that simple!” he shouted into the empty room. He thought about how you always lit up when talking about your favorite things art, nature, those quirky little cafes you both loved exploring. Each memory brought a smile to his face but also heightened the pressure of finding the perfect gift. He glanced around his room, his mind racing. A weekend getaway? A heartfelt handwritten letter? A piece of jewelry? But then, he thought about how much you loved experiences over material things. “Maybe I can plan a special day,” he considered, pacing once more. “But what would that even look like?” Jason finally sat down at his desk, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen. He started to jot down ideas, hoping something would click. A picnic at the park? A visit to that art exhibit you had mentioned? But then he worried would it be enough? Would you love it? As he wrote, his mind drifted back to all the times you had shared laughter and joy together. He wanted to encapsulate that feeling, something that would resonate with your shared memories. His heart began to race as an idea struck him, a day dedicated to you. He could take you to all your favorite places starting with brunch at that little café, followed by a stroll through the art gallery, and wrapping up with a sunset picnic in the park. It was perfect. It was thoughtful. It was all about you. Without hesitation, he texted Emily again. *How about a personalized day out for Y/N’s birthday?* To his surprise, Emily replied almost instantly, *Now that sounds like a great idea!* Jason couldn’t help but grin. With renewed energy, he planned every detail, each location carefully chosen to reflect your interests and passions. He marked his calendar, counting down the days until he could show you just how much you meant to him. On your birthday, as you both laid on the blanket under the vibrant sky, surrounded by delicious food and laughter, Jason realized that it wasn’t just about the gift. It was about the effort, the thought that went into making you feel celebrated and cherished. Watching your eyes sparkle with joy was the best reward he could have asked for. And as the sun dipped below the horizon, Jason knew he had given you something truly special an unforgettable day filled with the kind of love and friendship that only deepens with time.
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── .✦ made by @dollishbabess
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witchthewriter · 2 years ago
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𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐆𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐫𝐰𝐞𝐧'𝐬 𝐬/𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞
⤷ female, ambiguous race & all/any size reader!
ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ  
(Also anyone can be a witch, not just a woman.)
🌿ENFJ 🍁Ravenclaw 📜Neutral Good 🔮Pisces Sun, Aquarius Moon, Gemini Rising
SFW ✶  
・You wanted to be a healer. Not just any healer though, you wanted to be one full of knowledge of the natural world. 
・You learned about herbs and tinctures, flowers, and potions. It had been passed down from woman to woman in your family. 
・Gandalf was an avid visitor of your family, since they made the best salves for aches and pains. That’s how he met you, a young woman with a passion for magic. 
・He taught you all he could - and in return, you made tinctures, salves, remedies, etc, for him and his companions. 
・You frequented Rivendell with Gandalf. Watching with awe at the elves and their gracefulness. It was all so beautiful. Everything about the land made you tingle with delight. It was like a dream come true. 
・Arwen was curious about you. You weren’t fully human, but no other race seemed to be in your blood. So she watched you from afar, noticing your satchel and how whatever was in it, made people feel better. 
・One day she approached you, questions ready on her tongue. But the way your eyes looked up at her ... my goodness. They glowed. Your beauty was different up close. She could see the freckles across your nose. 
・Technically you did court each other - but neither realised that you had been. Gandalf knew, but he didn’t say a word. That’s the thing with wise men, they observe. 
・You had your first kiss under a willow tree. Her plump lips were so close and didn’t think you’d get this opportunity again. But something held you back - you didn’t want to sacrifice your friendship. But it was just friendship between the two of you. So Arwen kissed you. 
・Gifting you books; you want to have your own library
・Living at Rivendell, but traveling with Gandalf a lot
・Teaching you the ways of the Elven 
・Her pet name for you would be ‘My Love’ and ‘My Heart’
・Playing with each other’s hair. Arwen’s is like silk. 
・Arwen is very protective of you and makes sure no harm comes to you whenever you’re in her presence. (She worries whenever you’re not.) 
・She always knows the right thing to say. She has the best advice
       “Be kind to yourself. I have never seen someone who has a brain like yours.” 
・Being part of the Fellowship 
・Relationship Tropes: 
  ֍ Power Couple 
  ֍ Casually Physically Affectionate + Touch-Starved 
  ֍ Chaotic with a soft spot (you) + Normal but also chaos enabler (Arwen)
NSFW ✶ 18+ minors do not interact pls and thank you
・Arwen is a sensual woman. Her hands feel like whispers against your body, roaming and moving wherever they please. 
・Her soft breath tickles your ear, her lips placing light kisses against your neck. 
・She’s a sight to behold, and in the moments when you’re together - you feel like the luckiest person on Middle Earth. 
・Arwen takes things slow - savoring each kiss, memorizing how your body looks, and how it feels. Especially against her own. 
・Her kisses fill you with butterflies, and you feel almost like you’re flying 
・I don’t think Arwen would be very experienced - even though she’s lived many years, Arwen believes sex is something that should be between two people who love each other. 
・She isn’t very vocal during sex but makes high-pitched whines and moans. It makes you shiver to hear them. 
・She would be a switch - on days when she hasn’t seen you, she’ll become more passionate than you’ve ever seen her. But she isn’t dominant in a ‘master’ kind of way. It’s more she’ll take the lead. 
・She does like to leave hickys in places only she’ll ever see them (your thighs, your chest/breasts) 
・Oh and she adores your tits - she finds them absolutely delicious. She could play with them all day. 
・Arwen is the best at aftercare; she’ll have a cloth ready for you and clean you up. Or maybe you’ll bathe together. Whichever the case, she just wants to hold you close. 
Taglist: https://autistic-solar-fandom.tumblr.com/
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strawberrymilkgeorge · 4 years ago
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Part Nineteen. The Bench Trio and Sapnap make Phasmophobia 10000% Funnier
warnings: swearing maybe, word count: 3.5k (not including pictures) 
behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist
note: wooooo last chapter before... the trip........ be excited >:) 
**********
Y/n grimaced in anticipation as she looked at Karl’s wide eyes and open mouth as he leaned against the kitchen counter. He hadn’t said anything in almost a full minute and she wasn’t sure how much longer she could take.
“Say something, Karl,” she mumbled as she tugged on the strings of her new, lime green hoodie. She stared at him as he switched between leaning his elbows on the countertop and standing up straight with his palms pressed to it instead.
“I... wh—what?” Karl finally voiced his scattered thoughts, cackling abruptly as he threw his head back and clutching his stomach. “WHAT THE HECK, Y/N?!” He stood up straight and beamed at her, his eyes darting to her hoodie and then to her face. “Dream sent you his own hoodie?? How am I suppo— what in the— WHAT? Is this one his?” His fingers gently tugged at the hem of the material as he stared at it, eyes full of curiosity.
Y/n shook her head, face burning at Karl’s joy and surprise. “This one is just the merch one he sent. His hoodie is… very obviously his.”
“What do you mean?” he asked cautiously.
Y/n laughed lightly before leading him to her room, where the maroon hoodie lay neatly folded on the end of her bed. Karl picked it up and laughed. “It has a Florida thing on it?” he giggled and shook his head, not being able to get enough out of the whole situation and his best friend’s clear embarrassment. “Why aren’t you wearing this one? Too shy to flaunt your boyfriend’s clothes?”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” she clarified quickly, sending Karl a sideways glance. “But I’m trying to… you know… preserve it.” And because she worried that if she never took it off, she would only get more and more attached to the boy who lived three states away, hundreds of miles from her. She preferred sleeping in it over wearing it around the apartment. It was more comforting that way.
Karl lost it. He cackled maniacally and nearly fell on Y/n’s bed, losing his mind at how stupid the two were. “Preserv—Y/N! If you just tell him you like him, he’ll probably give you a new one when we go to his literal house.”
Y/n’s face heated up even more as she hummed. “About that…”
Karl’s laughter stopped abruptly, wide eyes staring at the girl. “No way.”
Y/n cowered lightly, nodding her head ever so slightly.
Once again, the curly-haired boy acted like he won the lottery. “NO WAY! Y/N, NO WAY! You’re lying, you told him??”
A wide grin spread across her face and she nodded as she recounted the details to him, almost like telling a little kid a fascinating fairytale. Karl’s face was glowing the whole time, his excitement for his best friend clear in his toothy grin and bright eyes.
He nearly tackled her when she finished, her hands tugging roughly at the hoodie strings, but tried to compose himself instead.
“Y/N! THAT’S SO AWESOME!! Wait, wait, wait, so, are you guys, like…?”
She shook her head. “We’re not dating, we’re just two people who like each other who are going to go on a date in…” she paused to the check the date on her phone and her stomach fluttered with excitement, “like, a week??”
Karl laughed and wiggled a little, his excitement nearly bursting at the seams. “Please, can I please give you a celebratory hug?”
Y/n laughed and opened her arms. “Of course.” He jumped at the opportunity, wrapping his arms around her in a huge hug and squeezing tightly. “Wait a minute, I’m mad at you!” she pulled away and Karl’s smile dropped.
“What did I do?”
“You and George knew how Dream and I felt and didn’t tell either of us anything?”
Karl raised his hands in defense. “No, hold on, to be clear, Dream himself didn’t say anything to me until, like, a week ago. I only knew before that because Sapnap and George told me stuff.”
“What the hell, Karl!! Sapnap too?”
“Yeah, of course Dream told him stuff, they live together and are best friends. Why wouldn't he know?”
“You’re all traitors.”
“We were sworn to secrecy! Both of you made us promise to not say anything!”
“That didn't stop you from talking to Sapnap about my feelings?”
“Ah, but I kept my promise and didn't tell Dream… you never said anything about Sapnap.”
Y/n gave him a deadpanned look and crossed her arms over her chest.
Karl paused. “Does it help if I tell you that we talked to Quackity about it too?”
“WHAT?” she snapped, though a small disbelieving laugh chased her words. “What, are you all just talking about us behind our backs? You told Quackity and Sapnap about my crush but you couldn’t have hinted at it to Dream? Or told me you knew how Dream felt?”
“You think I didn’t?” Karl laughed. “I hinted to you about his crush all the time, but you just never believed me!”
Y/n paused, recalling all the times Karl was super encouraging, promising things would work out, and even the times Karl straight up told her he thought Dream liked her. She pouted. “You know that I’m stupid.”
Karl stuck his bottom lip out in a smile. “You are. But you’re also ballsy and finally admitted you like him so all this can be in the past and you don’t have to be mad at me anymore. Right?”
“I’m not actually mad at you, Karl. I am embarrassed that you've told them things I’ve said.”
“Oh, no, no, don't worry. N one of us really explicitly said things you or Dream have said. We all mostly just complained to each other about how stupid you two were being,” he assured. “Well, Sapnap is Sapnap though, so he did tell us some very specific things Dream has ranted to him about regarding you.” He giggled as Y/n’s jaw dropped lightly.
She crossed her arms over her chest. “No, I don’t want it to ‘be in the past’ anymore; I want you to tell me everything Dream has told the others about me.”
“No! That’s private information. You can ask him yourself on your daaateee,” he sang, making her face heat up more.
“I’m going on a date with Dream,” she whispered in disbelief and Karl beamed at her. “Even better, you’ll see him in person in exactly a week.”
Y/n’s eyes went wide. “That’s so soon. Karl, I’m going to faint or something.”
The boy just smiled at her. “You’ll be fine. Naomi and I will hold you up if you need.”
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A few days passed and Y/n found herself with her tucked her knees to her chest as she greeted her chat enthusiastically. “Today, it’s gonna be intense. Today we’re playing Phasmophobia!! So if you don’t like scary games or paranormal stuff or anything like that, feel free to not watch and just listen or even close out completely. I don't want anyone to get triggered or be actually scared or anything.”
She watched as hearts flew by in her chat and she smiled.
“Yeah, don't feel bad if you need to leave! But if you do want to stay, it’s going to be super fun and probably very chaotic. Today we’re playing with Sapnap, Ranboo, and Tubbo, and Tommy is in the call but he’s not playing.”
“And me!” Karl said from beside her and she laughed.
“Oh, yeah, and Karl is here in real life because he’s clingy.”
“That’s a lie; Bugsy is terrified so she asked me to be here for emotional support.”
“If I wanted emotional support, I would have asked Naomi to be here instead. You get scared easier than me.”
Karl laughed and looked at her chat
“Okay, so, yeah, remember to leave if you need to and take care of yourselves but I’m going to join vc now!” Y/n unmuted in the call, announcing her presence loudly. She switched her stream screen to the Phasmophobia lobby where her, Ranboo, Tubbo, and Sapnap’s lanky characters walked around aimlessly messing with stuff.
“Hiiii,” Tubbo dragged out sleepily. “Are you ready to be spooked by the scary game, Bugsy?”
“Yes, I'm so ready.”
“The Scary Game,” Ranboo laughed. “Trademark.”
“Hello, Bugsy Games,” Tommy greeted robotically and she laughed, responding in the same voice.  
“Hello, Tommy Innit.”
“How are you doing?” His voice was monotonous and reluctant, almost like he was being forced to be nice to her. She knew it was all a joke between them though, as Tommy had come to her for advice about things before.
“I'm doing well, how are you?” she laughed.
“'I'm doing well’,” he mocked. “How pretentious of you to say.”
“TOMMY,” Sapnap called out. Her nerves spiked at the new knowledge that Sapnap knew more than she had told him about her feelings for Dream. Not that he would ever say anything on a livestream in front of tens of thousands of people, but it still made her nervous. “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO HER?”
“I'm not scared of you, big man,” Tommy explained. “I will say what I want to Bugsy and you can't do anything about it.”
“What about me and Sapnap combined?” Karl asked from her side. “We are the BugsyGames protection squad.”
“I think George is on it, too,” Sapnap declared.
“Can we be part of the protection squad?” Tubbo asked. “We can intimidate people with Ranboo’s height.”
“I'm the least terrifying person you will meet,” Ranboo claimed. “I am only tall.”
“I'm not scared of any of you,” Tommy assured. “I will continue to say mean things to Bugsy if I feel like it.”
“Okay, but you might be scared of someone we know, though. Someone who lives with me?” Sapnap hinted obviously. Everyone, including chat – who were spamming the name of that certain someone –  knew who Sapnap was referring to. Someone, who the mere mention of, made Y/n’s face heat up.
Tommy went quiet for a moment before mumbling close to his mic, “I'm sorry, Bugsy, you are not pretentious. You are actually a very kind person.”
She absolutely loved the fact that so many of their friends, joking or not, knew that Dream cared about her so much. Had it really been obvious all along, even to someone like Tommy?
“You're a menace to society, Tommy.” She smiled to herself as Karl laughed.
Tommy sputtered in surprise. “WHAT!”
“Are you guys ready to play?” Y/n asked as she went to the whiteboard in the game to start.
“Yes, let’s go!!!” Tubbo cheered.
Phasmophobia was eventful to say the least. Between Ranboo’s panic, Sapnap’s screams, Karl’s cackling laughter, Tommy yelling as he watched the stream, and Tubbo being blissfully unbothered by all of it, Y/n could barely catch her breath between laughing fits.
An outside observer might have thought the group was insane, and she felt bad for her chat having to put up with the obnoxious screams and cursing each other out, but it was the most fun she had had in a long time being able to mess around with this group of chaos she called friends. It only made her more and more excited for the upcoming trip, which was days away now.
“Okay, okay, I think I’m going to end here, is anyone going to stream?” she asked, still giggling from Ranboo’s latest bit involving him crying in the corner of the haunted building.
“I will be,” Ranboo announced.
“Then go start and I’ll raid you,” she offered, leaving him to thank her and leave the voice call to start his stream.
“Okay, thank you so much guys for playing! Wait, fit check?” she interrupted herself as her eyes caught the spam going through. “Chat…” Y/n trailed off with a laugh at the end. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but… you can’t see me. How am I supposed to give you a fit check?”
Tommy laughed from the other side of the call.
“Bugsy, does your chat not know you are faceless?” Tubbo joked, making her laugh.
“I-I guess not? Chat, we need to talk…”
“I can give a fit check for them,” Karl offered as he looked up from his phone. “I’ll just describe what you’re wearing.”
Y/n laughed but agreed.
“Do it, Karl,” Sapnap encouraged. “Feed the Bugsy stans. Then send me a fit check picture of you, Karl.”
Karl laughed. “Okay,” he said distractedly as he looked at Y/n. “She’s wearing, uh...”
“Can you even see her outfit or does she have the comforter around her like always?” Tommy asked, half genuine, half mocking.
“Actually, she doesn’t because she has her new hoodie on. So that, and just, like, black pants. And fuzzy socks.”
Y/n held her breath as she looked down and realized what hoodie she was wearing. The good one. Normally it was reserved for sleeping in, but she wanted the extra comfort it provided while she played Phasmophobia. Any hoodie would have done, but having Dream’s clothing wrapped around her body gave her an extra level of security that she was too embarrassed to ever admit aloud.
“New hoodie?” Sapnap asked. “Give the people some more info, Karl. What does it look like?” She couldn’t tell if there was malice behind his words or if he was genuinely curious. Did he know about Dream sending her one of his hoodies? They were roommates after all, Sapnap had to know, right? Especially since Y/n now knew that Dream told Sapnap a lot.
Karl looked at her with a huge grin, knowing exactly where the piece came from. “Yeah, super new. It has a Flori—”
“It’s just red,” she said quickly, giving Karl a wide-eyed look.
“Oh?” Tubbo asked. “W-why did you sound so suspicious? What kind of red?”
“Suspicious?” she scoffed. “What’s suspicious about a hoodie?” she paused before adding quieter, “And.... it’s maroon.”
“Interesting…” Sapnap said, his smile clear in his voice. He knew. He definitely knew.
The accusatory tone of his voice paired with Karl hiding his giggles behind his hand made Y/n pull her collar over her face in embarrassment. The action only caused the lingering smell on the material to fill her nose, but she wasn’t necessarily complaining.
“I have a maroon hoodie!” Tubbo related, oblivious alongside Ranboo and Tommy about the teasing going on between her and Sapnap. “What kind is it? Maybe it’s the same one?”
“Tubbo, you should not sound so pleased at the possibility of matching Bugsy,” Tommy sneered and Y/n momentarily forgot about the embarrassment of knowing Sapnap knew.
“Tommy, when we meet, I will personally make sure that you do not have fun.”
“Oh, I’m so excited for that!” Tubbo said obliviously. “It’s going to be so fun!”
Y/n glanced at her chat again and smiled at all the accusations that she was meeting up with some of the other streamers in the call. Little did they know how many of them were not only meeting up, but spending a week and a half vacation together.
“Me too, but chat doesn’t get to know anything about it.”
“Right, right, sorry chat!” Tubbo apologized. “You all are forced to stay out of the loop.”
“Oh, Ranboo went live, I’m going to end. I’ll talk to you guys later! Thanks again for playing!”
“Thanks, Bugsy!” Sapnap said. “It was fun.”
“Bye Bugsy…” Tommy dragged out and she laughed.
“Bye guys,” she said finally and muted, turning her attention back to her stream. “Thanks everyone for watching! And for everyone who donated or subbed or anything like that, thanks! I’ll stream again on Friday but after that I won’t be able to stream for a while, but I do have YouTube videos I will be posting so look out for those!”
She finally ended and turned to Karl after everything was shut off.
“Sapnap definitely knows about the hoodies,” Karl giggled at her expression. “Man’s voice was pure teasing, he knows.”
Y/n laughed and shook her head. “I know! What the heck. Thanks for hanging out with me, by the way.”
“Of course! I like hanging out even if I don’t get to play.”
“Even over your secret friend?”
Karl turned pink. “She’s busy. I’m also still not talking about this.” He stood up and Y/n smiled, dropping the topic.
“Karl, I was joooking.” She followed him out to the kitchen, where Naomi sat typing rapidly on her laptop, most likely cramming for an exam. Y/n’s phone buzzed from her pocket so she pulled it out and couldn’t help the smile or heat that made its way to her face.
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Y/n excused herself from the kitchen — where Naomi was still typing furiously and Karl was now thoroughly entertained with something on his phone — to answer the incoming FaceTime call from Dream. She hit accept as she fell on her bed.
“Hi,” she greeted.
“YOU’RE WEARING THE HOODIE I GAVE YOU? HOW EMBARRASSING! HAHA LET’S ALL LAUGH AT Y/N FOR WEARING MY HOODIE!!”
Y/n frowned at his joke and hit the red end button underneath Dream’s face. Her screen defaulted back to her home screen before a new call lit up.
She answered again. “Are you going to be nice?” she asked, pulling the soft, red material over her face, leaving just her eyes to see Dream’s adorable pout.
“Yes,” he said softly. “Sorry.”
She smiled and released the fabric, showing her whole face again, which made the boy smile.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“I watched your stream,” he started and she scoffed.
“I know, how else would you have known about the hoodie?”
“Well, Sapnap also texted me so even if I wasn’t, I would have found out.”
Y/n shook her head as her face heated up with embarrassment. She knew the trip was going to be full of teasing from practically the whole group.
“But I was saying I watched your stream and it looked like a lot of fun. Sounded like you had fun, too.”
“I did,” she confirmed. “I love those guys, they’re awesome. I love how everyone just bounces off each other, it’s so funny.”
“I can tell,” Dream laughed, “I haven’t heard you laugh that hard before.”
“Oh gosh, did I sound like a crazy person?”
Dream smiled and rubbed one of his eyes sleepily. “No, well, maybe a little but, like, in a cute way.”
“In a cute way? So I’m crazy but in a cute way? Yeah, okay, Dream.”
“No, I mean, like, your laugh was just super loud and energetic but it wasn’t obnoxious or gross or anything, it was adorable. It’s probably the cutest sound I’ve ever heard.”
“You might be a little biased.”
He hummed as he smiled at his screen for a few seconds. “Maybe a little, but so what?”
“You weren’t supposed to agree to that!” she said.
“Secret’s out that I like you so I get to say things like that now, Bug. As long as it doesn’t make you uncomfortable, I’m going to call everything you do cute.”
“Shut up.”
“Cute.”
Her stern expression broke with a laugh and she hung her head. “Got any ideas about our date yet?”
He smiled widely. “Yes.”
“What are they?”
“You really think I’m going to tell you? Absolutely not. You have to wait.”
“Can you at least tell me what day? You’re not making me wait until Georgia, right? The date is while we’re in Florida?”
“So eager, sheesh!” Dream teased. “But so am I, so yeah. I was thinking maybe the 23rd? Since you guys will get here on the 22nd?”
“Oh, who’s eager now? The day after I get there?”
Dream pouted so she smiled and assured him that she was just as excited for their date as he was. “I’m kinda nervous because it’ll be the day before Christmas Eve, so a lot of places will be super crowded and I know you said you don’t like big crowds so we might have to work around some stuff—”
“Dream, I’m honestly just excited to see you. Anything we do will be fun, I promise. I’m just happy I’ll get to see you and spend time with you.”
His worried expression softened as it was replaced with a fond smile. “Down bad, huh?”
Just like that, the tender moment was ruined and Y/n groaned, a laugh bubbling in her throat. “What is wrong with you? You’re the one stressing out so much about a date! You’re the one who’s down bad.”
“Yeah, but at least I can admit it.”
She shook her head at him for what felt like the millionth time and sighed. “I can’t believe I put up with you.”
“You must like me a lot, I guess,” he said, pushing her to admit it again.
“I guess I do.”
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kashimos-hajime · 4 years ago
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darling, dearest, not quite dead | o.k.
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summary: twenty years. you have loved obi-wan for twenty years and the minute he comes back from what seems to be the dead, he wants your help to kill the supreme chancellor. then again, it seems almost like him to ask you to do this with him.
WARNINGS: swearing, brief death, mentions of injuries, sexual tension, angst, fluff, obi-wan is being annoying and y/n is being annoying right back, matching energies for our otp ❤️, questioning morality, crying men, happy ending!!! pairing: sith!obi-wan x fem!jedi!reader word count: 15.5k
a/n: i have no excuses ndklnsf i love him :) crossposted on ao3!
contritus | latin: broken, crumbled, worn down, crushed
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Master Windu always said that a single moment defines a battle.
The moment Obi-Wan sinks his lightsaber through you, you realize that this is that moment.  
It’d been a mistake—the marauder had thrown Obi-Wan forward and you’d been in his way. The Masters were too far, they were caught between giving up a Jedi holocron or their lives.
You had begged him not to give up the holocron. Your life was nothing—nothing—
It’d been a fatal mistake. You know it the moment he spears right through you.
“Obi—Obi-wan?” Your voice, soft as a whisper as you grab onto his wrist and his eyes, so very blue even in the light of his saber, widen as your fingers dig into his skin.
It’s a peculiar sensation, glowing, blinding, yet curiously numb as he chokes out your name and retracts the lightsaber. The hunter lets go of your shoulder and you fall forward, gasping at the shrivelled fabric melded to your skin as arms take you and you realize it is Obi-Wan who holds you tight just as the whomsh of another lightsaber swings overhead. Craning up, you see a decapitated hunter, Master Windu, and Master Qui-Gon.
The body falls and so do you. Your friend falls to his knees, cradling you close and you shiver as he keens over you.
The Masters look down upon their Padawans and Obi-Wan’s tear-stained face raises wretchedly to glower at them.
“Master, I—Do something—“
Oh, sweet Obi-Wan. Pleading as he holds onto you and you simply turn your head into his robes. You don’t feel any pain but you are shivering as he grabs onto your hand, holds it against the burns on your stomach. 
“Bring her to the ship, Obi-Wan.”
“I’m so sorry, darling,” He looks down at you, at his young face, and you smile. Maker, you love him. “I didn’t—“
“Oh, hush, Obi,” you breathe, reaching weakly for his face. Your fingers barely brush his smooth chin before the strength leaves your arm and it falls back again. He catches your hand, gently lowering it to the ground before twisting and scooping you up with an arm underneath your knees. “You’re always so dramatic.”
“If it takes my dramatics to keep you awake, I will do what I must,” he says as he follows their Masters back to the ship. Master Windu speaks into his comlink and Obi-Wan’s grip on you only intensifies when the Padawans catch him calling for medics to be waiting when they land back on Coruscant. 
They catch ‘critical condition’ and ‘uncertain odds.’
“You’re going to be alright, dearest” Obi-Wan whispers and you look up at him. Then, you smile again—he’ll be the last thing you see, won’t he?
His arms are so warm and you feel your eyelids growing heavier as the gentle sway of his steps begins to lull you to sleep.
You can hear him calling your name. 
You do not wake up until both Obi-Wan and Master Qui-Gon have both disappeared.
.
You wake up and everything changes.
They tell you that Obi-Wan left the Jedi Order and Master Qui-Gon had offered his life to save you. It’s an ancient Force skill with the ultimate price.
The guilt is what eats you alive, and without your other half—Obi-Wan was more than a friend and just shy of a lover—you want to leave the Order yourself and find him.
But you don’t.
You persevere. You had forgiven him. It is, you believe, what Obi-Wan would’ve done. 
What Obi-Wan would’ve wanted for you.
It is… the Jedi way.
You become a Jedi Knight in his and Master Qui-Gon’s memory. The Council trusts you, believes in your strength to return after what should have been your death. You become their top agent, true above all else. 
You escort the Queen of Naboo, you land on Tatooine, you find yourself a Padawan. You do everything you can to keep his memory alive in your heart.
You do not speak of the dreams.
In your sleep, you feel the lingering presence of Obi-Wan Kenobi, his terrified screams, the untamed rage in his swings. Instead of blue, everything flashes red, and when you reach for him, he pulls away.
He’s out there… somewhere. You wonder if he knows you’re alive or if he left before he could know.
You are on Coruscant in your rooms when you get your answer. The Clone Wars are beginning to wear on them all, you are a Jedi General with an old Padawan who’s found himself an apprentice of his own, and life seems… not easy, but not complicated. There is no time to think of much besides the war and although you barely sleep these days, it’s better being so exhausted you can barely even dream.
“So he was right.”
Every inch of you stiffens as you whip around, pulling out your saberstaff from your belt with a practiced flourish and activating it. The yellow plasma hums and you narrow your eyes at the intruder.
“Jedi Sentinel, one of the youngest-made Jedi Knights in the Order, yet, held in such high esteem,” he continues. His eyes, glowing yellow in the shadows, pin you down and your grip on your saberstaff only tightens as the Sith steps out into the light and your breath catches when you stare into the face of a man you thought you’d lost. “Master Windu must love you, dearest.”
Obi-Wan, older, with his strong jaw covered in a beard and long hair raked back, stands in front of you with a smirk. A scar fractures his face, crossing his nose and digging into his cheek, but it only serves to amplify his looks. He’s handsome, still. Handsomer, even. 
Mature, civil, cold.
You remember Master Windu once said he could’ve been the greatest negotiator the Jedi Council had ever seen and you, the greatest fighter.
He, the calming hand. You, the fist.
Now, it seems, that they each are both.
In black armour and a hood tugged over his head, he regards you as he descends down the small flight of steps into your sitting area and you swallow, twirling your staff so it points down along the length of your arm—a show of peace, for now.
He hasn’t pulled out his own lightsaber you see hanging at his hip. It makes you uneasy.
Is it still blue? Red, now? 
All you know is that he is everything you swore to fight against.
“Sit.” You don’t even recognize your own voice when you speak, quiet and rasping as you deactivate your saberstaff and join him at the couches. Sitting across from him, you watch as he smoothes his hand over his robes and does so, pulling the hood off his head. “Is there any name by which you be called, or are you still Obi-Wan?”
His eyes snap to yours at the name and you meet him head on, your chest swelling in pain. How desperately you want to touch him, make sure this is all real, you cannot even begin to describe. 
Obi-Wan, a man you had loved since they were mere children in the Jedi Temple—childish love that had matured in something wretched, something forlorn—lives in his eyes. You see it then, for a split-second, when you had said his name.
But then, it had been swallowed up by whatever sits before you now.
“Darth Contritus.”
“Catchy.”
“Hm.”
“I won’t use it.”
Silence. You look out at the balcony and note that the door is cracked open before glancing at Obi-Wan before you again. He looks at you intently, as if he’s trying to figure out a puzzle, and you sense something stirring with him—it’s powerful, negative—and you clench your jaw, hands folded in your lap.
“What’s true, then?” you prompt after a while of his glaring. You feel bare before him after all this time and your stomach flips as he blinks, looking up from where he’d been trailing his gaze down your body, to your scarred hands, you know. 
You can feel him everywhere.
“That you live,” says Obi-Wan—Darth Contritus, you should say, but you refuse. 
“I do,” you agree. “And you would’ve known that had you stayed on Coruscant.” With me, you want to add but he hears it anyway. You know he does. “It’s been a long time, Obi-Wan. What is it, twenty years? More?”
“Obi-Wan,” he echoes wryly. “It’s been just as long since I heard that name. You should watch yourself lest you say that in front of the wrong people.”
“Well, you’ll always be Obi-Wan to people who loved you, hm?” Your chest tightens and you find his eyes again. His eyebrows furrow inquisitively as his hand brushes over his chin. You want to scream.
You want Anakin to barge in here, ask for advice from his former Master. Or, maybe, have the Senator of Naboo herself summon you. Have anyone demand your presence as they have for what feels like the past year with late night meetings and delegations. 
But there won’t be. You know this.
On this nights of all nights, Obi-Wan Kenobi finds you alone and your heart wilts in your chest.
Love. It weighs like a bantha between your shoulders. You once felt like you could fight a dragon with love, and now, it tears you apart slowly, limb from limb.
Loved.
You cannot linger. “Why are you here? If you were here to kill me, you would’ve tried already.”
“Only tried?” he mocks, leaning back into the sofa. Your arms stiffen and he smirks. “Dearest, I would’ve succeeded.”
“And there’s that signature Kenobi smugness. It’s a relief to see that some things don’t change,” you shoot back. “I’m not the same girl and you…” You laugh weakly. “You are not the same boy.” His hands shift on his knees and your eyes dart to the movement. Long, agile fingers dig into his knees and when you look at him, your gut clenches. “What do you want from me, Obi-Wan?”
“I need your help.”
That surprises you. Your chin jerks up to meet his eyes and he has that arrogant smile, that faint smirk that makes your stomach flutter even now.
You can’t remember the last time you felt this way—
Stop. You can’t think of that, you chastise to yourself. He is everything you are fighting against—everything that a Jedi cannot be. He isn’t the Obi-Wan you love anymore.
Except he is. 
He always will be.
“With what?”
The fact that you do not outright deny him is proof enough.
“If I told you I know who the Sith Lord orchestrating this whole debacle was and wanted to destroy him with your help, what would you say?”
“I would say that you want something in return for my help. I would say it’s been years since we’ve last seen each other and the first time we discover the other is alive”—your voice is dangerously bitter—“all you want to ask is a favour.”
He chuckles. There is a trickling trail of cold dread in your stomach. “Oh, dearest, you haven’t lost your wit.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Call you what, darling?” He’s playing coy, but the predator in his eyes does not falter as he rests an arm along the back of the couch. 
“You know what.”
“Enlighten me.”
“Obi-Wan—“
“Darth,” he cuts you off coldly, “Contritus. Obi-Wan is dead and I am finished entertaining the thought that he is anything otherwise.”
“I refuse to believe it.” You stand, smoothing a hand over your overtunic and turning your back to him. It’s foolish, you know, but you want to know if he will attempt to strike you down for refusing him—if there is a list of people he wants to turn, wants to help him achieve more and more power. Walking around the couch, you step up out of the small pit. “Find someone else.”
You take not one more step before you feel the faintest rush and your hand shoots to your saberstaff, activating it. Whipping around, you block his swing, their blades clashing in blinding white. Red meets yellow and you feel the hum of plasma in your bones as you stare up at Obi-Wan. He pushes down on you and you grit your teeth, digging your feet into the ground and shoving him back, your boots sliding along the floor with the force of his own strike. Energy fizzes in your bones and you’re breathless.
Just his presence so close to yourself again makes your nerves burn. Your senses are overloaded, memories flooding your brain and you stiffen when he lets out a soft laugh.
“You haven’t changed a bit.”
His lightsaber is burning so brightly you feel tears spring to your eyes and there is a swelling in your throat as you snap apart your lightsaber into dual blades, reversing the grip with a twist of your wrists. Obi-Wan’s eyes widen nearly imperceptibly and you raise a blade up in a defensive position. 
You had spent years training in Niman and the Shien variant, convincing Master Windu to train you in Vaapad despite the temptation of the dark side, mastering them to fill the void inside you. 
You’re not about to let the man who caused it to strike you down.
“A lot has changed. My answer is final.”
“You don’t even know what I want.” Curse him for being so relaxed, red saber burning and hissing and crackling yet loose in his experienced hand. “Dearest—“
“Stop it.”
“Darling, is finding the Sith Lord not the Council’s priority?”
“I won’t work with you.”
“Why?” The question is abrupt, and your eyebrows furrow together quizzically. It’s genuinely asked, you realize, and your grip laxes as he deactivates his lightsaber and clips it. “You can clearly match blows with me. I won’t get the jump on you as easily as some of the other fools in the Order.” You wonder if that’s difficult for him to admit. The Obi-Wan you’d known didn’t find it hard to admit, but…
But still. Still, everything’s changed.
“Is it, I wonder, because you care for me?”
Your stomach rolls and you don’t know if you should be ecstatic or terrified that he’s right.
“Obi-Wan—“
“Or because you still think of our time together?”
“There was no time. We were Jedi—“
“Temptation frightens you.”
“I’m not afraid.”
“Now, now,” he says, walking over to you smoothly and tilting his head. He offers a crooked smile and your lips part as you suck in a sharp breath. You drop your own guard unwillingly, lightsabers shutting off with a whomsh and he gently pushes your arms down. You let him—you do.
You can feel every molecule of his being coming closer, the smell of soap heavy in your nose as he stops before you. Maybe it’s because your heart is racing as he nears and you don’t even know if you’re breathing, or if it is because the love you once felt for him is roaring to life, consuming you until you are nothing more than starfire. Either way, you don’t want to know.
“We both know that the memories we share still… haunt you here…” His fingers brush over your temple and your eyes flutter shut. His touch is so soft, so tender, that you feel a part of you break. His hand trails down your jaw, down your neck, fluttering over your tunic and exposed collarbones and you know he feels you swallow. You know that he can feel every inch of you as intimately as if they were the same being. “And here…” He presses fingers to your sternum, right where your heart is. “Here is where your true desires lie.”
“I have no desires,” you grit out, pulling back but he grabs your arm before you can escape from his reach. Your head snaps up from his firm hand to his burning eyes and you are incinerating from inside out. “The Jedi—“
“—don’t give a damn about what you are or what you want. They only care about what you can do for them—“
“And that’s any different from the Sith?” You rip your arm free and immediately regret it for a flashing moment. “Get out of my sight.”
“Or what?”
“What do you mean ‘or what’?” you snap, holstering your lightsabers with twitching snarl at your lips. “You said it yourself, you are no longer Obi-Wan Kenobi, I don’t love you, and I am done with this game.” There is pleasure in the way his facade seems to crack then before attempting to repair itself and there is a surge in your bravery as you shove your face into his. He can’t quite fix the breaks you’ve smashed in his mask. “Go. Or this time, I’ll cut you down.”
“Hm.” His eyebrow quirks as he stares at you intently, curiously. Those eyes are nothing like the blue you had once known. “I’d like to see you try.”
Your eyes burn but you do not blink. 
“Leave. Me. Alone.”
“My, my. Such anger from the Council’s prized hound,” he murmurs mockingly into your ear as his fingers brush your jaw again and there is that cocky, sickening smile in the blonde of his beard. Your lips pull into a snarl and you jerk your head away, turning around. You detest this new man before you, yet you can’t even bare to see him go. You feel like everything inside you is peeling. “Anger suggests feeling, dearest. Temper that the next time you wish to convince me that you no longer care for me.”
“It’s a bold claim that I could care for someone who is everything I fight against.”
“One you didn’t deny,” he replies evenly. “Goodnight, Jedi.”
You wait until you’re sure he’s gone—when you can on longer sense his presence and your heart comes down from your throat.
You crawl into the bed and bury your face into the pillow before screaming out against every injustice in the world.
If Anakin notices anything the morning after, he does not say it. Instead, he simply says “Master” in his cordial tone as he always does and you, for the first time in a very long time, since he was a boy even, look at him and your bruised heart is listless in your chest, a puppet with cut strings. You hold his face in your hand and look at the man you’ve trained, raised from the ground up, and truly feel the life that’s passed you by.
“Are you alright, Master?”
“Fine. Just tired,” you murmur quietly. “I’m just… I’m so proud of you, you know that?” Your old Padawan regards you and you know what he sees as he nods against your palm and you let him go. He sees a mother, a sister, family.
You can only hope that he knows you feel the same way. Your son, your brother, the one thing left you know you can rely on.
“I know. I promise, I won’t let you down.”
“You could never,” you assure with a gentle sigh and when he looks at you with that hope in his eyes, it reminds you torturously of Obi-Wan when they still had hopes for their own future. Together. Together. The word aches everywhere. “You know you could tell me anything, Anakin, and I would never care for you less.” Anakin’s expression flickers and your eyebrows twitch together before he gives you a tiny, boyish grin.
“Of course. And you, as well. I am here for you, Master.”
You give him a plastic facsimile of a smile before squeezing his elbow. “I know. Come on. The Council is waiting.”
.
They send you to a warm moon that reminds you of Naboo. Yavin 4, outer rim. 
At least it isn’t Hoth, or Maker forbid, Alzoc III.
There’s a Separatist chapter lodging in the jungles of the moon, causing enough trouble to warrant the Jedi’s attention.
You think your old Master notices your distracted disposition and sent you somewhere easy to work out whatever’s bothering you with a good droid slicing. Master Windu has always been attuned to your emotions, long before everything with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan happened. It’s why you were his Padawan.
He had sensed the darkness in you the moment he first saw you, or maybe he foresaw it. 
You don’t know.
You land your starfighter in the brush where it’ll stay hidden enough before jumping out and landing in the soft dirt quietly. You’ve shed Jedi robes for a sleeker outfit more fitted for the jungles. With tan sleeveless tunic tucked into darker brown pants, your boots shift in the soil as you skirt into the fronds and head in the direction of the fortress.
There is nothing complicated about this. 
It’s arduous, yes. Dangerous, monumentally. But it isn’t complicated. Training Anakin is more complicated than destroying a Separatist branch. Deciding between sleeping in Obi-Wan’s quarters or your own when they were just mere Padawans was a harder choice than deciding whether or not you swing left first or right. 
It’s all instinct, second-nature and nearly your first. Soon, the fortress stops screaming from blaster fire and droid whining. You slash the head off the last droid, let its head roll at your feet and whirl around when you sense another presence behind you.
And there he stands again, a ghost you can’t shake.
It disrupts you to your very core. There is the smell of smoking metal and something worse as he tilts his head, amused. You clip your saberstaff with a practiced twirl, kicking a droid’s head away with a swift swing of your boot. 
He’s leaning against the wall, all sleek and handsome, you’re sweating with oil smeared across your cheek.
How romantic.
“I told you to leave me alone.”
“And I knew you just couldn’t stay away,” he retorts. “I wasn’t aware you’d be here until I heard you destroying those poor droids.” His voice is dripping with scathing sarcasm. “My, my, Jedi, you’re a sight.”
Joining him by the wall, you tentatively lean back against it as he turns onto his shoulder, regards you with a keen interest.
“You’re infuriating,” you admit quietly, refusing to look at him. You instead stare at the black leather of his boots, the way he’s crossed his legs at the ankles as he did when he was still by your side. Just more proof Obi-Wan’s there, torturing you with those tiny glimpses. “Why were you here?”
“There’s a factory here, over in Massassi Valley. I arrived to check in on their progress before I was alerted of a gorgeous Jedi with a yellow saber. Hm.” Your eyes flutter to his face and he smiles faintly. “Three forms.”
“You noticed.”
“How could I not, dearest?” He pushes off the wall with a smirk and, against your own will, a smile begins to pull at your lips insistently. “You’re just oh, so talented.”
Stubbornly ignoring the twitch, you follow him. “I told you not to call me that.”
“Oh, I apologize. Sentinel, then. Formalities, and such.”
“And I know you didn’t mean that apology.” They step over a droid body and make their way through the fortress, following the trail of droid bodies. You’ve rigged the place to explode and you know you could leave him to rot if you wanted but…
But he wants something from you, and if you can convince him to give you the Sith Lord without something in exchange—
“And I still wish to talk to you about our negotiation. We never finished before someone lost her temper.”
“Don’t test me, Obi-Wan. I don’t need to remind you the importance of warming up before a battle,” you warn and he lets out a sharp exhale, a hint of a laugh, and your smile grows as you lower your head, trying to hide it away from him. “And I think losing my temper is fair when I’m around such atrocious company.”
“Oh, now I know you aim to wound me.”
“Am I hitting my mark?”
“Not even close.”
Jumping over the railing of the building, they traverse in silence up a short hill before you turn around and pull out the detonator. With a simple press of a button, it goes up in flames and debris, caving in from the inside out and destroying any droid not alerted already by your little dance with your saber. 
Job done. And there’ll be a million more like it in differing sizes and magnitudes. Dropping the detonator to your feet, you smash it to bits with a sharp stomp.
How many more factories can they blow up? How many droids can they kill?
All of it means nothing if you don’t kill the mastermind behind it all.
Eyes closing, you curse whatever deity pulls the strings and tell yourself that it’s just what you have to do. There are no clean hands in war. Just dirty ones and dirtier ones.
So be it.
Turning to Obi-Wan, your eyes flutter from his dark robes to his face.
“You wanted my attention, you have it.” His eyes squint a bit at your choice of words and you lift your chin up, refusing to back down in his overwhelming confidence. “Talk.”
“Now you want to listen to me?”
“Don’t waste my time.” Your boots shift in the soft dirt, leaves bending beneath the ball of your feet and you look at Obi-Wan, really get a good look at him for the first time since he’s thrusted himself back into his life. You wonder if you look at him the same way he looks at you. Then, you ponder if he notices that he stares at you like he’s seen a ghost or if he believes that no one can read him anymore.
But you still can.
You can rip the pages out of a book, but it does no good for someone who has memorized every single page and simply flips through for the memories.
“The Sith Lord, his name is Darth Sidious,” he says, tucking his hands into his sleeves. “He rules the Republic secretly, taking senators under his control with a simple word. The apprentice, on the other hand, was Count Dooku.”
“Count Dooku? The Jedi who retired.”
He nods. “The same. That is, before I killed him and took his place.”
“Killed him,” you repeat. “You killed a Jedi.”
“A Sith Lord,” he corrects.” It was of no consequence. He would’ve caused you more trouble sooner or later.” It’s the flippant way in which he speaks that sets you back as he turns to head deeper into the forest and you follow him for lack of nowhere else to go. This is the way to your starfighter, something he seems to realize.
“Obi-Wan, you can’t just say that.“
“How many times do I need to remind you that—“
“Well, I refuse to use that name.” You plant yourself right in front of him and his eyes widen, eyebrows rising as he looks up at you. Clenching your jaw, you wish you could somehow reach into him, pull the Obi-Wan you know out so you could just hold him again— “It’s cursed, and wretched, and wrong.”
“This again?” He tries to walk around you but you grab his arm. He freezes, rigid, under your grip and you try to pull him back.
“You know I’m right. You only correct me when I start questioning your morality—something I thought Sith don’t exactly doubt.” Your eyes narrow. “I thought you all believed you were evil and relished in it.”
When he rips his arm out of your grip, he tears a piece of you with him. “Don’t make me regret my decision to come to you.”
“Regret it, then. See if I care.” You start to walk back down to the wreckage of the building and you hear a loud sigh.
“Where are you going?”
“Anywhere where the air isn’t tainted with your presence. I’m not wasting my time when there is a war going on.”
“Tainted?” His voice rises as he walks down the hill after you. “If I was aware that the Jedi have made you so marvellously childish, I wouldn’t have come at all.” Stopping in your tracks, your eyebrows shoot up your forehead and you whip around, pinning him with a glare.
“What do you mean come? You said you were here already.” Before you know it, his mouth opens to argue but no words come out and you know you’ve caught him.
So you get under his skin as much as he gets under yours.
Good.
“You were following me.”
Dryly: “An astute observation. Now, will you help me kill a Sith Lord or not?” He stops in front of you and you tilt your head. His lips are twisted in an impatient scowl as you look over your shoulder at the ruins of the Separatist chapter.
Then, you cross your arms and sit down on the hill. You glance up at him, cock your head as a silent invitation for him to sit next to you. The sun is just beginning to set on the horizon, painting the sky a wondrous purple-orange. When you look at Obi-Wan, the orange ignites the gold in his eyes and sets his hair aflame. He stares out at the sky, legs crossed and hands on his lap. The perfect meditation posture.
“You haven’t succumbed to the dark side, have you?” you ask quietly, voice cracking, and he blinks, looking at you.
“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.” Then, his eyes are on the sky again.
You search his side profile. He seems so normal. So… like himself. It scares you yet brings you relief.
“Never mind.” You draw your legs up to your chest, rest your arms atop your kneecaps. “The Sith Lord, Darth Sidious. He taught you… whatever it is that’s so enticing about the dark side.”
“Oh, if only you knew, dearest,” he sighs. “But yes. I’ve no interest in seeing his reign continue.”
“But… shouldn’t your goals align?” you ask, confused. “It is the goal of the Sith to destroy the Jedi.”
“Not all Jedi,” he corrects. “Perhaps some exceptions can be made.” Again, his eyes flicker to yours and your eyebrows knit together. A delicate frown mars your face. “You. Your old Padawan. You join me and together we can rule the galaxy ourselves. We could keep him because I know how much he means to you. Personally, I find him endearing.”
Shock shoots through you like cold fire. “What? No. No, that’s not how this works. We do this for the Republic. Not to replace one dictator with another.”
“Why not?” he laughs. “We’d have no rules, or, perhaps, it’d be by our own design. We could have the power to shape the galaxy however we wish.” He leans over. “I know you want that as much as I do. I don’t see why we shouldn’t take the Senate for ourselves.”
“Because that’s wrong! Because democracy—“
“—has worked so well?” he asks dryly. “Look at the Trade Federation. The Separatists. Your democracy has failed you twice in the past ten years on a scale tantamount to the largest volcano on Mustafar erupting.”
“Then we amend what goes wrong. That’s how this works. We try and try. We do it until we get it right, even if we never do.”
“That is a fool’s play.”
“I’d rather us be the fools than the king,” you snap. “At least fools know where they stand.” You get up, turn to ascend up the hill again and you dust off your pants, dirt flecking off the fabric. “As for us…” You scoff, shaking your head and you can hear him getting to his feet as well. “I can’t believe I ever humoured the idea that there could ever be an ‘us’ again.”
“That idea could become reality if you would just join me.” His voice is harsher than a serrated vibroblade as he falls into step beside you. You hate how easily he catches up but you refuse to acknowledge him as you stride back to your ship. “Think of it. There wouldn’t be a single thing separating us again. Not death, not the Sith, not the Code. We could finally be together. I’ve thought of nothing else since I learned that you were alive.” You bite your lip, eyes resolutely staying forward despite his words seeping into your conscious. “I know that’s what you want. Without the Code, we could flaunt our love. I could cherish you as you deserve, darling. Don’t you want that? Don’t you want to be with me, too?”
And something—something about how brutally honest those words are just hits you like a speederbike and you stop in your tracks for the second time that day. Obi-Wan stops a few paces ahead and you pin him with a sorrowful stare. 
“So. That’s what this is about.” You let out a short, incredulous breath. “Not… not power. Not even some delusion that you can rule the galaxy better than the Senate. You just want me.”
His eyes widen before they narrow into a glare and he storms down the hill, shoves his face into your space and you swallow the rock in your throat.
“Yes,” he growls, nose-to-nose. “Is it so wretchedly inhumane of me to desire you?”
Your heart stops in your chest and you cannot answer right away. 
Can’t. Won’t.
There doesn’t seem to be a difference. All you know is that you can’t breathe.
And when you remember how, all you can smell is him, feel him so close to you that you can’t imagine ever forgetting him.
“No.” The word, so fragile, so short, flutters past your lips and Obi-Wan reels back like you had punched him. “No, I don’t think it’s inhumane at all to love.”
“It is all I do this for,” he whispers furiously as if you hadn’t spoken, eyes searching your own. You reach to touch his tunic but he grabs your wrist so tightly that you can’t break out of it. “Let me make that very clear that it is because of you that I am like this.” His lips twist into a snarl. “You haunt me and I let you because I take a sadistic pleasure in wanting what I cannot have. Do with that what you wish.”
Your heart drops into your gut as you wrench your wrist out of his grip and their eyes meet in dark, ferocious anger as they linger in the heat of it. 
Then, before you can question what he means, he draws back and all that anger, rage, grief, melts to a mask of diplomacy. No tension in his face, no feeling. He’s a blank slate as he clears his throat, regards you with an impassive gaze that somehow hurts more than his ire.
“If you do intend to help me,” he finally says icily, “join me on Coruscant. You will receive specific details on your terminal.” 
Shaken, you watch him disappear into the jungle. Your legs give in before you can follow and as you fall to your hands and knees, you wonder if you cry for him and the fate you’ve tied him to or cry for yourself and the guilt that begins to eat you alive.
.
“I’m so glad you made it back safely. As for the Council hearing, that couldn’t have been easy.”
“Thank you, Padmé, and it wasn’t, but… we made it through. What’s done is done when you’re dealing with the Sith. Now that we found the name of the Sith Lord, maybe we can narrow down our serach.”
“Master Windu must be pleased with your work.”
“Have you met him? Nothing pleases him. Ever.” You sip on your tea politely but it tastes like nothing on your tongue. Padmé frowns faintly at your tone, not besmirching her beauty in the slightest as Anakin walks in. Looking up, you set down your cup. “Anakin.”
“Ahsoka told me I could find you both here. What are you doing on the terrace?” he asks with a glance at you, then a softer one at the Senator. Concern masks his features. “It’s cold at night.”
“You know, sometimes ladies need moments to ourselves,” Padmé teases, standing. You lean back into your chair, watching in amusement at the way Anakin’s expression completely melts when she walks past him. If he couldn’t be any more obvious. “How’d the research go?”
“Fine. Ahsoka asked me something that I couldn’t answer so I just wanted to ask you about it, Master.”
“Me?” You sit up. “What could I possibly know that you don’t?”
“Well, she heard of a name and it was before my time, so I thought you could help.”
“Calling her old when you want something, Ani?” Padmé calls from inside as she sets something down on the table. You get up yourself, letting the droids take care of their dishes as you join your friend inside. “Now, that’s classy.”
Stifling a laugh, you enter the apartment and glance over your shoulder at your old Padawan learner. “Ask.”
“Well, she was looking through the libraries and came upon a name. It’s popped up in our database now that we know the name of the Sith Lord. The Rule of Two demands an apprentice, and if we’re right, it could be him.” Your heart drops in your throat as you sit down and Anakin clasps his hands behind his back. His eyes are solemn, his lips set in a frown. Padmé’s eyes rest on you in concern and you know that your silence is just as troubling as anything.
“What name?” you ask, so quietly you’re not sure you’re audible. 
“He was a Padawan at the same time as you, Master.” Your throat tightens and you pray to the Maker he doesn’t say what you think he will— “Obi-Wan Kenobi. He simply… disappeared. Not even the Council could trace him.”
“Anakin…”
“Did you know him?” Padmé asks curiously and your eyes dart to her.
“I did. He was… he was my best friend. His disappearance…” Broke me. Killed me. What else is there to say? “It was a great loss to the Order. He was the best of us. I wasn’t even aware that he was alive.” The silence that follows nearly chokes you and you sweep your gaze from Anakin to Padmé until you realize you can no longer bare their interrogating stares. Standing, you bow to the Senator and excuse yourself. “Goodnight, Senator. Forgive me but the war means little sleep for me. I must meditate on this.”
“Goodnight,” Padmé calls, the frown evident in her voice as you turn, leaving the apartment as quickly as you can.
You reach the elevator and step on just as Anakin catches up to you and you flash him a false smile, stepping aside to make room for him beside you. He lets out a breath, glancing at you. The doors close and he looks at the buttons, clasping his hands in front of himself before pressing the ground floor just as you did with a decisiveness one can’t fake.
That Skywalker swagger. Must be.
He steps back into line beside you. “Are you alright?” 
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“In all my years under your tutelage, I’ve never seen you so affected. You’re steadfast, Master.”
“Did I miss ‘Compliment Your Elders Day’ in the calendar?”
A scowl. “And you deflect with sarcasm.”
“As all the best do.”
“Master.”
“Anakin,” you censure. “I’ll be fine. It is you who can confide in me, not the other way around.”
“Well, I don’t think that’s fair,” he replies stubbornly. “I hardly know anything about you and I’ve known you far longer than I haven’t.”
“Oh, that makes me feel great about myself.” The sarcasm drips through your words. “We work well together, Anakin. That’s all that’s mattered.”
“Whether we work well together or not isn’t the point. I’ve know you for years and you’ve never told me anything about yourself.”
“Well, you know I was born on Corellia. I like flying. You know how I fight, which is far more intimate than most people know me,” you list off the top of my head. “You know how I take my caff, that I drink often, even though unofficially, the Jedi don’t condone excess consumption of alcohol.” At Anakin’s skeptical gaze, you sigh. “Look, it’s not just you I refuse to speak of it to. No one except the Council knows about Obi-Wan. He’s… he’s not supposed to exist, in a figurative sense. He was supposed to be wiped from the databases.” Anakin’s expression scrunches up in confusion and you drop your gaze. “There was a situation. It was handled, but there was a whole mess that came along with it. A Jedi died—“
“I saw. Ahsoka showed me the death certificate of a Master Qui-Gon Jinn a few days after Obi-Wan Kenobi’s recorded documentation regarding him leaving the order. The reports speak of a mission with you and Master Windu, as well as Obi-Wan and Master Qui-Gon.” Hearing the Jedi’s name makes your guts twist and you look up at the elevator lights signifying their level. They still have so far to go. “What happened that day?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Master, trust me. You know me better than anyone. If Obi-Wan Kenobi is the Sith Apprentice we’re searching for—“
“Anakin, I am warning you. Do not mention Obi-Wan’s name again.” Your cold tone knocks him off and you know it’s because you never use that tone against him. You instantly regret your words and you sigh, eyes fluttering shut. Chewing your lip, an apology already works its way into your mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lash out at you.”
The doors open at last and you begin to leave.
“I’m starting to sense he was more than your friend, Master,” Anakin murmurs, grabbing your forearm, stalling you, and you look at him wretchedly. A mirthless smile works its way onto your face and your heart wilts in your chest as you gently pull out of his grip. Anakin’s eyes widen and you can only look at him in apology.
“Anakin… what lies between you and the Senator?” you ask and he jerks back as if you’ve slapped him. 
You might as well have as he stammers, “Nothing more than friends.”
 Your smile only grows unhappily. “Then apply that ‘friendship’ to what was between Obi-Wan and I, Ani, and you have your answer.”
.
You sit on top of the building, knee jiggling as you wait. You could meditate, eat, pass the time any other way besides watching the speeders, but you don’t. You feel nauseous, cold. 
You hadn’t told anyone of your meeting here, as Obi-Wan requested and yet, you fear Master Windu might’ve caught on to your lies.
The Jedi Council actively search for the very man you’re meeting and you can’t help but feel like sniper sights are aimed at your back every time you leave your apartment.
“Hello there.”
You whip around to see a cloaked figure emerge from the shadows. Obi-Wan stands there, dressed in black and a dark bloody maroon. His hood off and his hands in open display, he stands there until you face forward again, taking that as an invitation to come closer.
“I trust you’re well?”
“Let’s skip the pleasantries,” you utter quietly, clasping your hands. He climbs over the railing, sits beside you on the balustrade with a quiet sigh. Their feet dangerously close to the edge of the roof, he glances at the traffic and you stare at your boots. “Let me make something very clear: I want to help, no matter your own motives. I swore to keep the peace and that is what I’ll do, but after this, our arrangement is done.” Your eyes find his and you hope the coldness in your tone is mirrored in your gaze. “I never want to see you again. Let me be a ghost and you can be mine.”
Obi-Wan’s lips curved into a handsome frown. You look back out at the skylanes.
Quiet.
He must know you mean it this time. That there is no coyness, no game—you aren’t out to play hard to get. You aren’t acting like you don’t know what you’re saying. No, you’re well, and truly, done. Sick of it. Finished. Whatever synonym that can be concocted, it is what you are. Even if you do love Obi-Wan, you wish you had died that day. It would’ve been much better than this.
An odd twenty years later, and sometimes, your stomach still aches from old scars.
“Am I understood?” you finally inquire softly.
“Yes.”
“Good. Now, let’s get to work.” You draw your hands up your thighs, set your spine straight and look at your new partner-in-crime. “What’s our first move?” He stares at you for a moment, pale yellow eyes searching your face, but when you merely arch an eyebrow in prompting, he blinks and pulls something out of his pocket.
“Well, considering my Master hasn’t recognized that I intend to murder him in cold blood yet, we must move quickly. Have you deduced who Darth Sidious is?” You look at him and he sighs. “Who has always rubbed you the wrong way, no matter what everyone else said?”
You roll that question over in your head for a moment. “I’ve never liked how Chancellor Palpatine has attached himself to Anakin,” you confess. “If anyone, he’s painted himself the saviour of the Republic and the Council don’t trust him.”
“For once, the Council is right.” You frown at his bitter tone. “And your intuition never fails.”
“So the Sith Lord is Chancellor Palpatine, the most well-guarded man in the galaxy.”
“Yes.”
“And you do realize that a Jedi killing him portrays a certain… image, don’t you?”
“Oh, I know. I’ll do it. What I need is for you to get me access to his rooms.” Eyebrows shooting up, you rest your chin on your clasped hands, your elbows digging into your knees. “You said it yourself: your old Padawan learner is off mingling with the Supreme Chancellor himself. I assume you’re close with the Skywalker boy.”
“I am.”
“He’s powerful in the Force, that one,” he comments.
Quietly: “I know.” Sighing, your eyes find Obi-Wan’s. “So you want me to manipulate Anakin to let us in.”
“Manipulate is a strong word.”
“Didn’t realize you had such an aversion to using people to your own means.” The light of the city reflects off his eyes, cloaking his face in half light, half shadow. It only amplifies the arrogance of his smirk, the arrogant cock of his eyebrow. Your gut clenches and your thighs press together as he leans over.
“I have a strong, strong inclination for the consensual, darling.”
“So witty, as always,” you breathe. “As if the last time we spoke had no consequence.”
“Oh, it doesn’t. Not for me at least. For you, on the other hand…” He clicks his tongue. “I can feel the guilt inside you, twisting your every thought.” He chuckles. ”It’s funny, really.”
“My torture is your amusement?”
“Ah, no, never,” he corrects. “It’s a bitter delight that you never realized your hand in all of this. This situation, this war, this… conundrum of the heart. It’s… sick,” he acknowledges, “but after years of my own guilt consuming me, it’s almost… comforting to see you suffering like me.”
Your gut convulses at his words. “You think I didn’t suffer in your absence? That I didn’t dream of you every night for years?” His eyes study your face that begins to crumble underneath his stare. 
“I think we are alike in our agony.” He flips the device he pulled out earlier over in his hands, activating it with a simple press of a button. “Do you know why I want to kill the Chancellor?” A soft voice begins to emit for the device and he hands it over to you with a faint smile. “Take it.”
“What will you do? Spin your tragic tale?” you inquire without any bite. You mean it—tales are tragic when it comes to their lives so interwoven with one another and as they sit on the edge of the balcony, overlooking a city still alive despite the war raging, the night edging in on all sides, you hold the device to your ear and swallow when you hear Darth Sidious’ voice, vile and old. It sends a shiver up your spine.
“She hangs in the balance, young one. Join me, and I will ensure that she lives.”
“A tragic tale,” he echoes. “Yes, perhaps it is.”
The recording scratches, skips forward. “She’s dead, Obi-Wan. I’m sorry for your loss but you can avenge her. Use that lust for vengeance for more than grieving a girl dead before her time.”
You lower the device from your ear. You don’t want to hear any more of his manipulations. Those brief glimpses had been enough to make your stomach churn. “You don’t need to say any more.”
“He cloaked you from me. For years, I kept seeing your eyes,” he continues distantly. He leans forward on his knees, almost leaning into the wind and you clutch onto the cylindrical device tighter. “I remembered what it felt like, feeling your lifeforce ebb and disappear by my hand.”
“But you found me,” you try and he chuckles darkly, looking out at the skylanes. Two speeders nearly collide and his lips twitch into a mirthless grin.
“Indeed. When I was looking for the boy.”
“Anakin?”
“Hm.” He looks at you again. “The Chancellor wants to replace me with him now that he’s all grown.” Then, his eyes drift, rich in drive, zeal, the spirit of a warrior, the soul of a man who refuses to falter. “I suppose that’s another reason why it’s time to deposit the tyrant. I don’t intend to die so easily.”
In a moment of irrational, or perhaps even lack of, thought, you reach for his clasped hands and hold onto him. He doesn’t rip himself away immediately and in fact, his eyes seem to fixate onto yours deeply as you slip your hand between his.
“I’ll be there,” you promise him, not daring to look away, not wanting to for a second. It isn’t the most romantic thing in the world—you could’ve promised that you’d protect him, that he won’t die because you’re there, that he won’t ever be harmed again, that ‘it’ll be okay’—but you’ve always been practical, just as Obi-Wan was. Is. The only thing you can offer is the truth: “You won’t be alone.”
Then, he lifts one of his hands and rests his palm on your knuckles, and your heart, thudding like thunder in your chest, hitches. You suck in a cold, clear breath and squeeze his hand gently.
“Thank you.” His fingers brush over your skin and electricity dances up your arm as he watches you softly, gaze falling from your eyes to your lips. The gauzy glow of Coruscant softens his features and a shuddering sigh leaves your lungs as he leans forward.
It’s a moment where you think no, I shouldn’t, I can’t, I won’t, I won’t, I won’t before your heart, screaming to meet his, shuts up whatever rational voice echoes in your head and you close the distance. The instant their lips meet, a hand lifts from yours and shoots to your jaw, cupping your face and deepening the kiss. You set down the device blindly, holding onto his neck. Their hands spring apart and your other hand rakes through his hair, fingers twisting in auburn locks as he holds your face, burns himself into your mouth. 
You barely remember when your eyes closed. 
All you know is that the smell of him, the taste, it’s all so familiar yet there is the hint of something darker, smokier leading you deeper into his influence. One of his hands spreads across your neck, thumb brushing over the front of your throat and the underside of your jaw as you scoot closer towards him and he chuckles, nose wrinkling at your insistent kisses but submitting all the same.
Your mind is blank, razor-focused on one thing and you don’t even remember your own name before your lungs screech for air and you suck in a deep breath through your nose, tearing yourself away despite their lips nearly refusing to part. Your mouth opens and inhale sharply, hands pulling through his hair. His chin tilts up and you blink, looking at him through the fuzzy dots in your vision and the gleam of his golden eyes, arrogance and tenderness in its very definition, douses you in cold water. 
Jerking back, your hand flies to your lips, fingers brushing where he had claimed you moments before. Your thoughts are a scattered whirlwind and you swallow. Your breaths come rapid, your heart beating everywhere at once as you spin around, climbing over the balcony and back towards solid ground. Obi-Wan twists, confusion marring his face as he gets up and you whirl around. You feel like he’s set you on fire after a long winter left out to the elements and you’re incinerating. 
You’re burning from the inside out. You’re thirsty, yearning for something to feast on. Your fingers itch to rip off clothes, slash apart a droid, do anything to work out the energy that’s beginning to fizzle in your chest.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” you whisper, voice cracking, and you look up at him forlornly. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
“Why not?”
“Because—because—“ Yet with every second, you find your logic failing as you look at him. His hair is dishevelled—your doing—and he runs a hand through the golden strands as he waits for your answer but you’re starting to think you don’t have one.
After all, no one will ever know besides them.
That’s what you told yourself when they were Padawans. You fail to think of any difference now.
Obi-Wan stands there expectantly and your hands rake over your head, glancing around. There is no one but the sound of late-night traffic and the night.
Eyes sliding shut, you feel something inside you give like a fragile foundation finally slipping in the sand. 
His kiss is like a toxin, still scorching through you, and something inside you tightens as you open your eyes again and see him standing there, expression so much like the old Obi-Wan that your heart aches.
Your hand drops. You look at Obi-Wan in his dark robes, and decide.
You can’t take it anymore. You will love a ghost. You’d rather do that than die lonely.
Walking over to him with a decisiveness you feel like you’ve lost since he’s crashed into your life, you take Obi-Wan’s face in your hands and pull him into your kiss. 
He kisses back immediately, his hands finding your jaw and your eyes squeeze shut as your hands slide down his neck, find his shoulders and their lips meet again and again, drunk off the mere touch of their bodies. You find the buckle of his belt, undoing it with ease and the clank of his lightsaber hitting the ground along with the rest of the leather makes you grin against his persistent mouth. He kisses the corner of your mouth before nudging your chin up with his nose. His hands slide down your shoulders, hooking on your robes and sliding them down your arms with a slow, seductive intention that sends shivers up your spine. 
Letting your arms drop, you let him guide the robe to a pool around your feet before breaking the kiss to look down at your belt but he grabs your jaw, tilting your head up and their mouths slot together again. With his free hand, he undoes the buckle with practiced ease and your lightsaber joins his on the ground before they sink to the floor in unison, their knees against cold stone, their lips never parting. A fire scorches between their mouths and you know that you have never felt more at home than the moment Obi-Wan’s hands find your waist.
His hand slides to the small of your back, scooping you up and lying you flat against the pavement as you find the waist of his trousers, tugging down insistently. Their breaths mix in desperation as their foreheads press together. Their lips part just enough for you to look down and he kisses your brow, your cheeks, cranes his head to find your ear as you run your hands over the front of his pants, feel something warm and hard against your palm.
A quivering sigh against your neck makes your stomach flutter as the hand on your back slides to your hip, squeezing the flesh there. Boots sliding along the ground, you let out a tiny whimper when soft lips suck on the flesh of your throat, teasing you with tiny nips. His hand goes under your long tunic, finding the hem of your trousers and a warm index finger traces the rim, tip gently brushing along the sliver of bare skin there.
Your breath hitches in your throat. Your hands trail up his sides and wrap around his back. 
Their foreheads are still pressed together when his eyes flicker from your body to your face.
“Are you sure?”
You bite your lip and nod. “Yes. I’m—I’m sure.”
“Stop me. Don’t be afraid,” he whispers. Your fingers dig into his shoulders as his cold skin meets the warm flesh of your thighs.
“I’ve never been afraid of you, Obi-Wan,” you murmur achingly, eyes beginning to sting. His eyes flash to yours and you smile to yourself, slithering a hand to his face and cupping his jaw. Your thumb brushes over his lips. “Even after all this time, I’ve only loved you until I’ve hated you and… I have never stopped caring about you. I became a Jedi in your honour, you know? I did what I thought you would’ve done, because you are good, Obi. I know it.” You tilt his head against yours. Their noses clash and their lips brush, and you can’t help but close your eyes as your fingers card through his hair. “You’re still in there and I will never be afraid of you, but I am afraid for your future. For ours.”
“Ours?” he echoes and you nod against him.
“Ours.”
“What—what do you mean?”
There it is. That split-second of hopefulness in his voice, the sound of the first sun after the darkest winter. You’d give anything to pull the sun out of the shadows. Even the Jedi Order.
“Ours if we make it through this. Ours when I renounce the Code and join you.” Curling your fingers in his hair, you feel your heart splinter into two, wilt like a flower in the winter rain and when the first droplet lands against your nose, you know he’s struggling to hold his tears in. 
Your eyes open. Pressing a brief, soft kiss against his mouth, you gently brush his tears away. 
“I will leave the Order for you if you leave the Sith for me. When we kill the Chancellor, we will disappear and live the life we deserve. That’s what scares me.” His eyes search yours and you smile, his beard tickling at your palms. He raises his arms until his elbows are by your head and he props himself up, lacing his fingers atop your head and shielding you from the world. His body pressed against yours, you can’t help the tentative smile on your face.
“Why?”
“Because we’re so close to it,” you tell him. “Because, for the first time, it seems so real. We’re just within reach.” You sigh, studying his face, his scar, the shape of his eyebrows. All tiny things, yet they mean the world to you.
“What happened to never seeing me again?” he asks in a faux smug airiness and you wrinkle your nose, wrapping your arms around his neck as you sniff, trying to ignore the burning in your eyes but when you look at Obi-Wan, you swear you can see the first hint of blue in his eyes. The first hint of day breaking through the night.
“A kiss or two changed my mind.” You tilt your head to the night, letting the bracing wind take your tears away. You think nothing of this night has been romantic, from what’s been said to what’s happening now.
Yet, you wouldn’t change a thing from this.
You’d rather have this mess than a fantasy—have this broken man silently letting tears slip down his face than anything else.
Tears smeared all over his cheeks, Obi-Wan sniffs and tries to clear his throat but fails miserably as you draw your hand across his face. He cradles your face in one of his own hands, swiping a thumb beneath your eye and you smile.
“I love you,” he whispers hoarsely, quietly, and you lift your head up to kiss him softly, again, assuredly. “Please. Please don’t wake me up.”
“I’m alive, don’t worry. This isn’t a dream.” You tilt your chin up to kiss between his eyebrows and the delicate scrunch of his brow makes you warm. “And I love you, too.” His hands holding your face begin to tremble as if he’s afraid that one moment, you will disappear like a ghost but you let your hands drop, press palms against his knuckles so that he steadies and smile up at Obi-Wan. “I’m here.”
“So many of my nightmares end like this.” His voice breaks as he ducks his head into your chest, forehead to your heartbeat. “I don’t want to wake up. I never do.” You wonder if he hears the distinct shattering of your heart at his words.
Folding your fingers over the spaces between his, you draw his hands away from your face and press a long kiss to his fingers.
His grip only tightens as he lifts his head again and rests it on your shoulder. Their hands part only for you to wrap your arms around his chest and for his to bend around your head again, sheltering you from the world around them. 
The traffic is quieter now, nothing but your heart and his beating in tandem and the soft breaths that come only after tears are shed. His weight is suffocatingly warm and you bury your face into his neck, let his beard tickle at your eyes. 
“This is real, Obi-Wan.”
You never want to leave him again.
.
“Anakin, let me begin by saying that you cannot interrupt me in the middle of me talking.”
“Do you think I’m six?”
A levelling look. A loud sigh.
“Okay, fine. I won’t interrupt you.”
“You better not.” You slip your hands into your sleeves, perching on the balustrade of Padmé’s balcony. It’s the only place you can think of that you trust to be completely absent of eavesdroppers. “First: Obi-Wan’s alive.”
Anakin’s eyebrows shoot up and he frowns faintly. “I thought we established that.”
“And I know for certain he is the Sith apprentice we’re searching for.” Guiltily, you lower your eyes to the ground as Anakin approaches, the frown ever growing. ”I met with him. Multiple times, actually.”
“Master—“
“He came to me first,” you say, holding up a hand. “I didn’t know until he came to me and I met him again on Yavin 4. Again, he followed me there.”
“Sounds like you have a fan.”
Sending him a wry look, you sit upright. “Funny. But I met him two nights ago.” Because all of yesterday was spent in my own apartment, trying to reconcile the possibility of a future with the man I’ve been in love with since I was sixteen. But that’s neither here nor there. “He told me what he wanted.”
“Which is?”
“Anakin…” You raise your gaze to your old apprentice and sigh, standing up. A thoughtful expression is etched onto his face. At times, you can’t help but think maybe you should’ve exercised or demonstrated more patience with him. It seemed like you only exacerbated his natural proclivity for recklessness. Other times, like now, you think you did a pretty damn good job. “Chancellor Palpatine is the Sith Lord we are searching for.”
Anakin’s countenance drops and his mouth opens, trying to argue but you quickly continue.
“No one can know better than his apprentice,” you tell him. Reaching out for his shoulder, a cold feeling settles in your gut when Anakin jerks out of your reach, brushing past you with a stony expression. “Anakin—“
“How do we know you can trust this Obi-Wan?” he points out. “He could easily be using you, manipulating you to get what he wants.” Turning to watch him go, your eyebrows knit together. “Master, whatever you think he feels for you, he could be lying.”
That stings. It stings more than you thought it would and you saw it coming from miles away.
“Have you not stopped to consider the same thing applies to the Chancellor? Anakin, I know you and the Council have never seen eye-to-eye regarding your relationship with Palpatine, but Obi-Wan isn’t lying.”
“How do you know?” he repeats.
“I just do.”
“That’s not good enough! Have you told anyone else about this?”
You shake your head.
“Oh, great. So we’re going off the Sith Lord’s apprentice’s lead. That’s real trustworthy.”
“Anakin, if you don’t trust him, trust me.”
“I do trust you, Master. I’m just afraid that your mind is clouded.” Anakin’s eyes meet yours and a lightning current shoots down your spine at the graveness in his face. He looks much older than his years and you’re more than aware that the longer this war continues, the more exhausted they both will be. 
“Anakin…” Then, you remember the weight of his secret. You wonder if that adds to it—if the burden of carrying the love for a certain senator drags him by the ankles. You understand that. You just wish Anakin knew that you would understand.
“I’m sorry, Master, but what does he want? This can’t be out of the goodness of his heart.”
“He wants to kill the Chancellor. That’s it. The Republic won’t fall beneath the weight of this war.”
“That’s it? That can’t be right. He must want something in return—“
“In return, I leave the Jedi Order,” you cut him off quickly, trying to rip the band-aid off. It doesn’t work because the colour drains from Anakin’s face and your heart wilts in your chest. Regret knots in your chest as he walks up to you and opens his mouth to argue, hands reaching for your shoulders. You raise your hands, stopping him. “It’s a done deal. I’m leaving on my own accord.”
“Master… you can’t. You can’t just—“
“You and I both know it’s more than possible,” you shoot back. Your words come out cold, flat, and you wish he could’ve found out any other way, but life is rarely, if ever, perfect. Anakin’s blue eyes search your face for answers you do not have and it must be something in how you say it but realization soon dawns upon him.
“You love him.”
“He loves me, too,” you reply quietly. “It is, I assume, not dissimilar to how you feel for Padmé.” You smile faintly and reach up, cupping his face. “I’ve never been blind to that, Anakin.” Sputtering, your old friend tries to come up with some excuse but you merely shake your head. “Once this war is over, Obi-Wan and I will leave Coruscant. That was our deal. And we need your help to do it.”
“My help?” The words come out strangled and you nod. “How?”
“The Chancellor trusts you. Get us into his office, and we will do the rest. You can leave the room, deny responsibility, do whatever you need to. The Council must not connect you to this.”
“But—“
“Anakin, you have the potential to be a great Jedi Master, if not the greatest. With my spot on the Council opening up, who knows? Your part in this may push you in the right direction.” Glossy azure eyes fix on yours and you hold Anakin’s face in your hands before resting your palms on his shoulders. “I’m more than willing to do this if it means this war ends and don’t worry. You’ve grown into a great Jedi. Greater than any other I’ve known. There’s no more I can teach you that you won’t learn yourself.”
“It doesn’t feel like it, Master.”
“It’ll always feel like that. We never stop learning, but that’s how life is. Don’t worry.” You squeeze his shoulders. “There won’t ever be a goodbye between us, Ani. Only a temporary parting.”
“But you’re leaving.” And just like that, he is nine again and you are twenty-five, crouching in front of a young blond boy from Tatooine as you tell him you will be his Master, prove your own Master wrong. Newly made Knight and desperate to please, you were determined to give Anakin a life he didn’t have to worry about never seeing his mother again, nor money, nor hunger. Pain, anger, fear.
You know you failed.
Still, you tried. That, you decide, must count for something.
“And you are staying. I have never, never, wanted to leave you Anakin, but I believe in you. I know you are the change the Order needs and if I can’t be here to see it…” You hum thoughtfully. “Maybe one day. One day we will return and I will see you as the Master I know you can be.”
A weak attempt of a smile on Anakin’s part.
“I’d welcome you back with open arms, Master. No matter what.” 
You force a grin onto your own face and pull him into your arms. Immediately, he embraces you and you hold him tight, eyes closing. His face buries into your neck and you cradle the back of his head like you did when he was younger, a boy tainted by nightmares, and you know soon, you won’t be able to do this again. Hug your family… hug someone who has become your son when he’s scared.
“I’ll help you,” he finally whispers into your shoulder and your arms tighten around him. His voice may be muffled but it doesn’t manage to stop the everflowing sadness. “Just tell me when and where and I will be there.”
“Okay.” You draw back and hold his face in your hands, smiling still. Your eyes refuse to shed the tears burning there so instead, you just… stand in his presence for a moment longer until they have to part.
.
“Darling.” Obi-Wan stands when he spots you approaching their meeting spot on the roof again and you stop in front of him, pulling your hood down. “And your old Padawan?”
“He’ll help,” you murmur. “He’ll alert us through the comlink when he’s in position, then this assassination attempt will go through.” Disgust curls at your tongue and you shake your head. “I still don’t like this plan.”
“Why?”
“Because it seems too easy.” You cross your arms over your chest. “We just go in there, you cut off his head, and what? How do you explain this death? The fallout of this will be torrential.” Looking out over the city, you sigh. “What will we say?”
“Say that I was his assassin,” Obi-Wan says, joining you near the edge of the roof. “The Jedi tried to stop me but were too late.”
“That still paints us as failures.”
“Then what will you have me do? There is no alternative that doesn’t paint the Order as murderers. I know that isn’t what you want.” His eyebrows rise. “Is it?”
You scowl. ”No.” Thinking, you add on, “Couldn’t we say we struck you down? Eliminate the threat all together.” Eyes lighting up, you look at Obi-Wan. His eyes, a strange mixture of gold swirling with blue, squint in confusion. “Obviously, you won’t actually be dead, but I think people won’t think twice looking at you if you’re supposed to be dead. The Jedi Council said so.” 
Realization: “Ah. Faking my death.”
You nod. “Exactly. If we settle on some planet and someone recognizes you, well, that’s impossible. You’re dead. The Jedi are very rarely wrong.”
“You’re quite clever, you know.”
“It’s honestly a wonder you haven’t thought of it yourself,” you reply. He smirks and you roll your eyes as he gently takes your shoulders and places a tender kiss upon your forehead. Something inside you melts at the touch. His nose presses into your scalp and their eyes close before you pull back and take hold of his hand. He’s warm to the touch.
Raising your other hand to flit over the scar crossing his face, you feel the sunken edges carefully. His eyes flutter shut and you run over his nose. It’s caused a small chasm in the structure of his face but you find that you can’t fault him for it. It’s become a part of him—a mark of his history. It may be a mistake in some eyes—not fast enough, not strong enough, not good enough—but to you, it’s simply a reminder that Obi-Wan is human. That he’s alive.
He’s alive. You still marvel at that. “You’ll have to tell me the story of this some day.” 
He smiles and the scar stretches with it. It’s somehow endearing. “Some day,” he agrees. “As well as many others.”
“Sounds like a date.” You squeeze his hand just as the comlink beeps and you grab it from your pocket. “Anakin?”
“I’m ready. Ahsoka’s speaking to the Council as we do.”
“Ahsoka?” Obi-Wan questions. 
“His Padawan,” you explain quickly. “Good. Keep your link on. We’ll mute ourselves from here on out.” Sending a nod to Obi-Wan, the two begin the plan. Clipping the rope to their waist, you wrap the end around a pipe, giving it an experimental tug as Obi-Wan looks over the edge of the building. Soon, they’ll be scaling down to the maintenance room and managing a way into the ventilation system.
“You know, if I thought we were speaking to the Council of this, I would’ve packed my fancy robes,” he calls dryly and you shoot him a glare to be quiet but he merely tips over the edge of the building and you suppress a groan,. The height makes you a bit woozy but you turn your back to the ground, grabbing onto the rope and slowly lowering yourself until they’re scooting down the side of the building together.
“Master Windu trusts my judgement, and better than we tell them when they can’t stop us,” you retort. Swinging out of the way of a window, the two glance at one another. “Sorry I didn’t tell about that. Didn’t think it was quite so imperative, what with the fact that we’re overthrowing a dictatorship tonight.”
“I don’t mind. At least I found out before Master Windu showed up out of the blue and decided to splice me in half for being anywhere near your vicinity.”
You barely contain a retort as they continue down.
Are you really doing this? Are you about to assassinate the Supreme Chancellor with a man you long thought dead?
Yes, a quiet voice replies, you are. And then, you will run.
.
They manage to crawl into the vent, him first, you second, and you’re stuck trying to avoid staring at Obi-Wan’s ass as they inch forward towards the Chancellor’s office. It’s not the most dignified position to find a Jedi and a Sith apprentice in, but alas—one must do what they do to rid the galaxy of tyranny.
Besides, you’re pretty sure the arrogance radiating off of Obi-Wan means about a million jokes will stem from this. 
They stop when they are just above the office, Obi-Wan crawling over the tiny gap and turning around so they can both peer down the vent. You manage to unhook your saberstaff, breaking it into the two separate sabers, clutching each in tight hands as you listen in on the conversation below.
You aren’t even aware that your nails are digging into your thumbs before a gentle hand brushes over yours.
Relax, Obi-Wan’s voice orders gently in your mind. Remember—I do all the dirty work.
That doesn’t omit my part in this, Obi-Wan, you shoot back but your fists relax anyway and his hand withdraws. Everything inside of you is tense when you hear a voice.
“Anakin, what a surprise. What brings you to my office at so late an hour?”
“I wanted to talk to you about these dreams I’ve been having. I… I trust you and I’m not sure if it’s real or not.”
Just a little more.
Obi-Wan, are you sure he’s the Sith Lord?
Why are you having doubts now of all times? Your eyes flash to his and he glares back. I’m sure. I wouldn’t lie to you.
A sharp nod.
You spot Anakin’s figure approach and then the Chancellor, meeting just below and your fingers tighten around your sabers.
“What dreams?”
“Dreams of the Sith Lord that caused this war.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I believe I know who he is.”
The Supreme Chancellor’s eyes shoot up and he regards the Jedi Knight with a strange mix of confusion and suspicion.
“I’m sorry, Chancellor Palpatine.”
Anakin’s eyes flash up to the vent and Obi-Wan sends you a nod. You send your sabers into the grate, melting it off its hinges and letting the metal clamor to the ground before Obi-Wan jumps out, landing behind the Sith Lord who whirls around.
Activating his lightsaber, Obi-Wan stares at his former Master with a cruel snarl to his lips. You jump after him, twirling your yellow sabers as you stand behind him. 
The contrast is near blinding.
“General Y/L/N.” The Chancellor has never sounded more unforgiving as he looks from you to Obi-Wan. “I believe you have a job to do. Kill this assassin.” You stare at the man who’s feigned warmth and kindness to the entire galaxy and you wait for his head to start rolling but when Obi-Wan doesn’t move, frozen, knuckles white as he clutches onto his saber, your eyes dart to his form. 
“Obi-Wan,” you whisper. His gaze snaps to yours and for a moment, you don’t even recognize the man behind it. His golden eyes peer at you curiously and then he twirls his saber with a practiced motion, turning back to the Chancellor.
Palpatine frowns.
The vibrating hum of another lightsaber igniting joins the buzzing symphony and Anakin raises his blue lightsaber with a harsh, cracking expression upon his handsome features. 
“By Jedi law, you must arrest me. Surely you won’t let him murder me in cold blood, Anakin,” Chancellor Palpatine says, glancing back at your old Padawan and hesitation flickers across his features. “Surely your Master taught you better.”
Anakin’s eyes flicker to yours. You are silent in return.
“This is treason.”
“What you have done to the Republic is treason,” you correct icily. “You do not deserve the luxury of a fair trial.”
It happens so quick. Palpatine reaches into his robes and there is a flash of red before the smell of burning flesh rises. A hand drops to the floor with a sick slap and a lightsaber rolls. Anakin sticks out a hand, letting the hilt fly into his hand and he deactivates it with a quick flourish as Palpatine keens over, clutching at his stump of a wrist.
Obi-Wan raises his lightsaber from the Chabcellor’s arm to his neck.
“I am finished with your manipulations, Sidious,” he murmurs lowly, and then, with one great, unfaltering swing, he decapitates the Sith Lord and lets the head roll.
There is no blood. The lightsaber burns too hot for there to be any and you can only smell the shit and piss as an old man dies.
Obi-Wan’s harsh pants are the only sound as the body drops and you deactivate your lightsabers. Anakin does the same as you step forward, placing a hand on his shoulder and another on the trembling fingers that wrap so tightly around the hilt of his saber.
“Obi-Wan.” His name passes by your lips softly, like a caress, and he drags his gaze from the dead Chancellor to your face. “It’s over.” Eyes fluttering shut, he lets you pull him tight against you, their foreheads knocking together as his lightsaber deactivates with a whomsh.
Your name passes by his lips in a soft breath and he cups your face just as doors open and he springs away from you. You grab his hand, tugging him behind you just as Master Windu and the rest of the Council walk in, and his hand tightens around yours as Anakin pivots around.
Ahsoka steps out, panting, her eyes wide.
“I tried to stop them—“
“Ahsoka, please.” You step forward, letting go of Obi-Wan’s hand but he tugs you back. Glancing at him, you smile. “Let me handle this.” His eyes search yours and you give him a nod of assurance before he finally lets go and you step towards the Council, past Anakin who wants to speak but you grab his arm gently, stopping him. “Master Windu.”
“General Y/L/N. Would you care to explain why the dead Chancellor’s body laid at your feet?”
“He was the Sith Lord orchestrating the war. Doubt there’s any other reason.” You meet your old Master’s eyes. “Master Windu, know that this is all my doing, and mine alone. Anakin had no part in this and neither did Ahsoka. She just found out and told you about our plot. I don’t want them to be punished.”
“That remains to be decided.”
“‘Our’?” Kit Fisto inquires.
You sigh, eyes fluttering to the floor. “Obi-Wan and I. It was our plot, together.”
“With the Sith, you conspired?” Yoda questions and you open your mouth to argue but you catch Ki-Adi’s shaking head and something inside you sinks.
“Look, he was manipulated. He’s not Sith. Not anymore. That man”—you point at Palpatine’s body— “was the Sith Lord we were all searching for and Obi-Wan led us straight to him.” Stone-cold silence. Your shoulders fall and the adrenaline that had burned through you drains away, leaving you oddly exhausted. “I understand if you wish to charge me with any crime against the Republic. Sedition or otherwise.”
“Obi-Wan is the one who killed the Chancellor, Master Windu. Master Y/L/N had nothing—“
“Anakin, don’t,” you cut him off quietly. “It’s not worth it to pretend otherwise.”
Anakin’s frustrated glare meets yours but you only smile at him and shake your head. Facing the Council again, you wait for one of them to speak. Master Windu’s unimpressed glare goes from Palpatine to you, and you only look at your former Master with raised eyebrows. 
“What proof is there?”
“Nothing more than my memories, Master Windu, and a few recordings,” Obi-Wan speaks for the first time and eyes dart to the man as he steps forward into line with you. “I will submit those if you need them. Attempt to arrest me, however, and I will not go willingly. I’ve renounced the Jedi Order, as well as the Sith way. That, I can assure you of.”
“Master Yoda, your thoughts?” Master Windu asks, turning to the Grandmaster. A hand presses against the small of your back and you turn to Obi-Wan who watches with a stony glare. However, when he turns his gaze in towards you, something softens and you step closer to him.
“Upon the former Padawan, the dark side still lingers. Unsure of what to make of it, I am,” he admits and your hand finds Obi-Wan’s back, your other hand hovering by your lightsaber. No matter what, you are not leaving him alone in this.
“However this looks to the Republic is my greatest concern,” Ki-Adi murmurs. “To see a Jedi Master conspiring with the Sith—”
“Then manipulate the truth,” you argue. “That has never stopped the Jedi before. It didn’t stop them from completely erasing what happened twenty years ago and it can happen again.” Your hand drops from your saber and you send Master Windu a pleading look. “Say Obi-Wan was struck down, say he escaped, say anything but what happened. The only truth that needs to come out is that Chancellor Palpatine orchestrated the Clone Wars and with him gone, we might be able to find some semblance of peace again.”
The Council look at one another. Anakin and Ahsoka, standing side by side look to you.
War is rarely that simple.
.
“I forfeit every right, privilege, and rank I have achieved in the Grand Army of the Republic. I renounce my status as a Jedi Master.”
“You understood that you are barred from the Jedi Order henceforth?”
“I understand.”
Master Windu’s expression softens for his old Padawan and you could’ve sworn there was something darker, something breaking, as if he himself felt for you turning to someone else for the help he could not give.
You want to tell him it has never been his fault.
You don’t. Instead, you ask one last time for your own sanity: “And Obi-Wan? What of his records?”
A bitter, coy smile resides on his face: “Who?”
Satisfied yet curiously empty, you walk out of the Jedi Temple, to where Anakin, Ahsoka, Padmé, and Obi-Wan await. There are tickets and bare necessities for them to make a fresh start in a bag slung over Obi’s shoulder. There’ll probably be a speeder waiting for them at the base of the steps, waiting to take them to their new transport arranged courtesy of the Senator of Naboo herself and then… then who knows where to next. 
You suppose that’s part of the excitement of it all.
You feel naked, stripped bare. You no longer wear the tan neutrals of the Jedi. Instead, a leather vest covers you, a shirt tucked into brown pants and paired with Obi-Wan, they look nothing more than smugglers. A cloak is draped over your shoulders and clasped at your throat, one you tug closer around yourself as you approach. 
Obi-Wan extends a hand to you and you take it numbly, letting him kiss your knuckles.
“Are you alright?”
“Fine.” You squeeze his hand and he nods. “Wait for me at the bottom?”
“Always.” He lets go and his eyes turn to the others. “I appreciate your aid.”
“Thank you, Obi-Wan.” The words sound strangled coming from Anakin’s mouth. The two look at one another and you think, in another life, they could’ve been good friends. “Take care of her. Please.”
But that is not how it is now. Instead, Obi-Wan merely dips his head again, once to Anakin, and then to Padmé and Ahsoka before climbing down the steps of the Jedi Temple.
You watch him go until he is out of sight, your eyes lingering even after, before you turn around to feel Ahsoka launching herself into your arms. Eyebrows shooting up, you embrace the Padawan tightly, eyes closing shut and then two more bodies pile in closely.
Shaggy hair and floral scents—Anakin and Padmé.
“I’m going to miss you all so much,” you whisper, raising a hand to cradle the back of Anakin’s head and another to hold onto Padmé’s shoulder. “You don’t understand how much you mean to me.”
“If it’s anything close to how much you mean to us, I might have some idea,” Padmé says. She kisses your cheek, a tiny blush on her cheeks. “Stay safe, Y/N.”
“I will. And you, too. Make sure this one over here protects you,” you say with a sharp nudge to Anakin who winces, running a hand through his hair with a brash grin. Ahsoka, with her arms still around you, looks up and you rest a hand on her shoulder. “And you, little one, make sure you take care of your Master. He’s a lot. Make sure he’s not too in over his head.”
Ahsoka laughs much to Anakin’s irritation and even Padmé breaks a smile, poking the Knight teasingly. “I promise, Master.”
“I think,” you correct with a sombering smile, “that you should get used to calling me Y/N. I’m not a Jedi Master anymore.” Ahsoka’s expression falters and you squeeze her closer, cradling her head against you. Anakin’s downcast face catches your eye and you look up at him, finding blue eyes watching.
“You will always be my greatest teacher,” Anakin murmurs. “I just wish there was another way.”
“But there isn’t, and I’ll miss you more than you know, Ani,” you reply. “You will never fail to make me proud.” Letting go of Ahsoka, you reach forward, hugging him tightly once again. His arms wrap around you and he seems to sink against your frame, shoulders dropping, head buried into the crook of your neck and you close your eyes, knowing the torment that rips him in two. Patting his hair, you let him hold you as long as he needs to. 
It’s not until Padmé touches his arm gently that he remembers to pull away and you cup his face, brushing your thumbs over the apples of his cheeks. Then, looking into his face, a face you’ve seen everyday for the past decade and now a face you don’t know for how long you’ll have to wait until you see again, you can feel two hands take your heart and tear it like paper, into uncountable bits. 
Tilting his head down, you press a kiss to his brow. Then, with one final squeeze to Padmé’s hand and a squish of Ahsoka’s cheeks which she takes only because you don’t know when they will see each other again, you pull away. 
“I’ll be okay, guys.” Trying to joke, you force one last smile upon your face. “You can at least look like you’ll see me again.”
“We’ll see you again,” Ahsoka decides. “The Force wills it so.”
“I hope it does.”
You pull your hood over your head and turn around, descending down the steps and leaving your old life behind.
.
They nestle between two ginormous crates. The captain’s paid to turn a blind eye in exchange that they take up minimal space and don’t cause problems. That’s easy for them—they’re heading to Tatooine and from then, who knows? Maybe somewhere cooler, wetter, snowier. They’ll decide when they want to.
You rip apart a piece of bread and hand it over to Obi-Wan, resting your head on his shoulder. Your arm is looped through his and he takes your offering, swishing it down with spotchka. You chew on your own piece, their fingers interlacing and their boots knock together playfully.
For some reason, it makes you feel like a Padawan again—stealing moments, sharing secret smiles. In the darkness only fractured by a sliver of white light, the two are lost in each other’s eyes. 
Raising your head from Obi-Wan’s shoulder, you look at his side profile again, the sharp lines of his jaw, the fine ginger-blonde of his beard. His nose and his eyebags and that scar—
“You still need to tell me that story,” you murmur, and he turns his head, swallowing with a quirked eyebrow. “Of your scar. We could trade.”
“You have scars I don’t know about?” he asks mischievously, and you roll your eyes, struggling not to laugh as his lips sneak a kiss. Reciprocating, you can’t help but wrinkle your nose at the taste of spotchka on his mouth. Maker, the stuff is not your cup of tea. Obi-Wan seems to note your reaction because he pulls away, kissing your eyes and between your eyebrows before pulling back. “Not a drinker, are you?”
“Oh, I am.” You try not to pull the face that’s so desperately begging you to come out. “Just… not something I’m used to tasting.”
“Well, we still have time.” He blinks, returning to the rest of the food they have laid out in between them in their tiny tin containers, and you sigh, just watching him. With every passing moment, you just see more and more of the Obi-Wan you think he could’ve grown to be. The fissures are barely covered by dry jokes and thin smiles, but still, you can see where the dark side had shattered him in to pieces.
No matter. You suppose that this is where their life together begins. Building each other up again.
He catches you staring as he pulls a grape off its stem and pops it into his mouth.
“What is it?” he asks curiously, amused, and you say nothing, brushing hair out of his eyes and marvelling at the gentle blueness that stares back at you. “Is there something on my face?”
“No,” you whisper. “Not at all. I love you.”
He smiles. “I love you, too. This isn’t a dream?”
You shake your head. “This isn’t a dream.”
And he kisses you.
1K notes · View notes
ddarker-dreams · 4 years ago
Text
Epiphany. Yan Albedo x Reader
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Warnings: General yandere themes, implied unhappy previous relationship, and spoilers for Albedo’s story. Word count: 2k.
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It wasn’t fair. 
A snowstorm, unlike anything you’ve ever seen rages outside, shards of lustrous ice falling from the sky with the intent to kill. The Dragonspine’s traditionally somber ambiance contorts into something far more sinister. Numerous hues of grays and dark blues blur together, obscuring your view of the mountainous region. It’s difficult to see anything outside Albedo’s workshop save for the storm. 
“Your shaking won’t stop unless you sit by the fire.” 
His matter-of-fact declaration startles you. Albedo hadn’t spoken in some time, his attention devoted to a specimen he had discovered prior to the storm. You would’ve shared in his enthusiasm if not for the overall situation and company. Sighing reluctantly, you stand from your spot, hugging yourself to stave off the biting cold. It’s impossible to settle on which is worse: staring at the blizzard or staring at him. 
Albedo’s fair skin glows from the light of the crackling fire, sandy blonde hair tousled around his face without care. As he studies the new specimen, his lips purse, eyes focusing on nothing but the work before him, like nothing else mattered. This is how you’ve always known him to be. Even if the world was falling apart around him, Albedo would never falter from what catches his interest until he felt sated. 
Sensing how you’re fixating on him, his attention flickers briefly to you, an unidentifiable emotion gleaming in his eyes. You’re the one to avert your gaze first. Sucrose is going to owe you majorly for this one, why did you even accept her request in the first place? Thinking about it now and cursing your past self does nothing yet you still occupy the time by doing just that. She had come to you panicked, pleading that you take this letter to Albedo in the Dragonspine, claiming it’s urgent. In the heat of the moment, your judgment lapsed and you caved. She spoke of needing to continue her research in Mondstadt or else she would’ve done it herself.
Look where your goodwill has gotten you now, you think. She owes me a week’s worth of dinner. 
You lament giving credence to his advice, but your stubbornness concedes, the cold too miserable to withstand any longer. The fire is right by his side to add insult to injury. Did he do that on purpose to spite you? It’s unlikely, yet your mind wanders to the worst-case scenario. If any other citizen of Mondstadt were privy to your suspicious thoughts, they’d think you unreasonable, as Albedo has established his reputation well. He’s a known eccentric, sure, but a genius one. A few quirks on his behalf that anyone else could overlook. 
Quirks that you used to overlook yourself.
“Would you please grab my bag,” he doesn’t look away from his prized sample but motions to the general area it’s in. “I need to write down my observations.” 
You follow through with what he asks. There was a time you’d have been over the moon to participate in his process, you used to practically trip over yourself to do anything he needed. That enthusiasm has long died off and been replaced by apathy. It’s when he reaches out to take the bag from you that you snap from your trance-like reverie. Whatever remnants of obedience that lingered in your subconscious are brushed away, as you decide to finally challenge him.
Inhaling sharply, you hold the bag just out of his reach, finally earning his recognition for more than a millisecond. 
“I’m not your assistant anymore.” Among other things, you think. 
The words come out more childish than you intended. What you had meant to communicate was your new, critical view on him — he’s a person just the same as anyone else — who held no authority over you. You hold your breath awaiting his response. Albedo doesn’t have an intimidating presence, not in the traditional sense. It’s his mind that you’re wary of. There’s no guessing what sentiments run through his head, yet that’s never stopped you from trying to unravel the mystery that is his thought process.
He gives you a long, hard stare. “I’m aware of that.” 
Where were you going with this again? Albedo doesn’t need to point out your needlessly spiteful behavior with words, his mildly irate facial expression says it just fine. His thin eyebrows threaten to furrow together and the corners of his lips curl down into a frown. You’re unsure of what bothers him more. What you pointed out, or that his work is being interrupted for even the slightest moment. 
The budding confidence you had is all but crushed beneath the weight of his unblinking gaze. Clearing your throat, you decide to take a new approach, straightening your posture in an attempt to be taken more seriously.
“Then tell me, why do you still act like I am?” Your question comes from a genuine place of confusion. Ever since your arrival, you’ve begrudgingly done the odds and ends he’s asked of you, almost like clockwork. You had fallen back into the rhythm that was your life up until a month ago. There was just something about the silent authority he carries that makes it impossible to say no. 
That is, until now. You’re determined to clear up the problems that have plagued your mind. Albedo’s had his time to be nonchalant like nothing happened between you two, but you’re not having it anymore. 
“Force of habit,” he nods his head towards your hand that holds his possessions captive. “Now, would you please…?” 
Your grip tightens and you shake your head defiantly. “No. Or at least, not until you give me a better explanation. Not just about that. How you act in general… none of it makes sense to me.” 
It wouldn’t take much effort from his half to wrangle his bag from you, you’ve seen him in action before after all, so it comes as a surprise when he instead gives in. You blink, gaping when he takes a seat by the roaring fire, and motions for you to do the same. An opportunity like this is hard to come by. The past few weeks, it’s been your code of conduct to avoid any interaction with Albedo, but your frustration can no longer be repressed. 
You take a seat by his side but intentionally leave some distance. 
There’s so much you want to say. Insults, questions, demands, anything. Anything that could give just a hint of closure that he refused to offer himself. It doesn’t help that this familiar area brings memories with it — good and bad alike — painful nostalgia eating away at your heart from the inside out. While you battle with your inner thoughts, he observes you in silence. For a time you hear nothing but the crackling of the fire and wind howling outside.
Finding the courage to speak up, your throat tightens as you force a question out. “Did I… mean so little to you?” 
It’s rare that Albedo ever looks taken aback, but your inquiry managed to do just that. His eyes widen ever so slightly, confusion etching onto his face before he manages to compose himself. Lots of intimate discussions had gone this way. You’d spend hours prepping yourself, meticulously going over what it was you wanted to say, only for the words to die on your tongue when you saw him. 
“I don’t understand what you mean.” He appears genuinely perplexed and you can’t help but feel silly. It may have served you better to think long about this, you realize, but now it’s too late. You rush to explain yourself in hopes of making better sense. 
“When I said I wanted to, er, part ways,” you can’t help but cringe at not knowing the proper label for ending whatever was going on between you two, “You just seemed, I don’t know, indifferent…?” 
In your head, this went down in such a different way. 
Your cheeks are set ablaze by the humiliation his silence brings. It’s not the first time you’ve felt this exact way when bringing up your feelings to Albedo, yet it’s just as awful. Archons, does he always have to look at you like you have three heads? 
When he finally gives you an answer, you wish you had never asked. 
“I knew you would come back to me eventually.” 
Now it’s your turn to give him an incredulous look. He says it without an ounce of hesitation, never once breaking eye contact, his resolve holding firm. Sensing a need to clarify, he attempts to do just that. 
“I considered a variety of variables,” he raises his hand and brushes his knuckles over your face, the unexpected tenderness making you shiver. “I know how your mind works very well. When you told me that’s what you wanted, your physical mannerisms didn’t line up with what you were saying.”
Your heart drops but he doesn’t stop there. 
“Biological responses never lie. It wasn’t anxiety that kept you from looking me in the eye then, it was reasonable doubt. You know it as well as I do. There’s something about me that you can’t place, and the natural human response to the unknown is caution.”
He stops caressing your cheek. “So, tell me [First], and maybe then you’ll reach the conclusion you’ve been searching for. Why are you afraid of me?”
Everything feels wrong. How he’s whispering such horrifying ideas into your mind, leading the conversation with expertise. Is it charisma? You don’t think that’s the proper word. No, it’s how damn certain he is, how he never once leaves room for argument. 
Albedo appraises your silence coldly. 
“See? You’re not sure yourself. Thus why I knew you’d return to me,” he retracts his hand and leans back, but the ghost of his touch leaves your face tingling. “When you don’t understand something, you study it. That’s who you are. It’s why I picked you to be my assistant, that quality of exhausting curiosity, much like the one I have myself.”
He’s hypnotizing you with his words, his even tone, his silent authority. You’re drawn in like a moth to a flame and trapped in a verbal standoff. Whether it was a result of your Vision flickering subconsciously resulting in the fire diminishing or some other cause, you realize what little warmth in the cave is disappearing, your breath materializing in front of you as a result. 
But it’s only yours. 
That’s when it clicks deep inside the recesses of your mind. Apart of what always bothered you about Albedo was this sense of uncanniness. Whenever you thought you were understanding him better, new mysteries would arise, leaving you worse off than when you started. This combined with his workload and the emotional distance you felt between the two of you is what led to your separation. 
Albedo’s face is but a few inches away from yours. He’s patiently awaiting a response or anything you could muster to challenge him with, though both of you are aware that no such thing exists. 
You manage to surprise him again by asking another question. “Why… why are you not breathing?”
And how could you never have noticed until now?
His long eyelashes flutter shut. “Relationships truly are troublesome. There are unspoken rules and expectations, both of which take effort to satisfy. I hadn’t mind trying to do so to keep you happy, but that approach didn’t work as intended.” 
Had it not been for the hammering of your heart and how lighthearted you feel, you’d challenge him on his definition of trying. Instead, you watch without so much as moving an inch, too in awe to utter a single word. 
“You always asked me to be more romantic, but I guess the phrase you take my breath away won’t suffice here,” he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I’ll tell you, but once you know… well, I don’t think I can ever let you leave my side.”
“I hope you won’t mind keeping me company a bit longer than you intended to.” 
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the-cult-of-russo · 4 years ago
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headcanon for when billy realizes he’s in love with reader? i’m such a sucker for romantic and soft billy😫
I love this. I'm going to go a little beyond just when he first realises too. You'll see. It's turned into more of a 'when Billy's in love with you' headcanon.
I'll break it down into sections once again. It's just easier that way 😌
-
When he first realises he loves you:
Oh man. Billy doesn't realise he's in love until he's so far gone he's drowning in it lmao
He has no idea why he gets crazy ass butterflies in his stomach every time he just thinks about you. No idea why his heart beats all funny when he looks at you or why his chest feels all warm. He doesn't know why everytime he's away from you his chest hurts and it feels like someone's punched a gaping hole right through it. The boy has no clue.
But then one day, he's out drinking with Frank, having a good time. And Frank's been going on and on about Maria, absolutely gushing about her. Billy being the good best friend he is, teases him of course. Sends him an offhand remark with a smirk. And Frank replies with...
"Yeah well. That's what happens when you're in love."
The words feel like a smack to the face. Suddenly, Billy feels like he's free falling, plummeting at record speed towards the concrete from a 50 story building. Because he relates. All the sickening gushing Frank had been doing, Billy got it. He does it himself about you. And Frank's words make everything click into place, Billy's world is suddenly tilting on its axis. Because what if you don't feel the same? Why would you when own his mother couldn't muster up any love for him?
He freaks out. His mind is going to dark places as his heart feels ready to give out. Frank sees him looking a second away from collapsing in a heap on the floor and takes him outside. After some brotherly advice and tough love, he feels a little better.
He still won't tell you though. Of course not, that's just fucking stupid. The fear of rejection runs far too deep in Billy to admit such a thing and he doesn't know how he'd cope if you broke his heart. If he lost the only person he's ever been in love with. So he resolves to keep it to himself. Its kind of nice though, to finally know just what it is that he's been feeling. It was obvious really. People write love songs about this bullshit. The same songs Billy's been listening to like a love sick fool because he gets it. He relates to the words.
-
How he tells you:
Billy won't outright tell you he loves you first. At least not on purpose. There are three likely scenarios that happen.
The first is you telling him you love him first. This is his best case scenario. He blinks warily at you for a moment, dark eyes rapidly scanning your face as he tries to find even the slightest hint of deception. It's not that he doesn't trust you, but he finds it almost impossible to believe anyone would ever be in love with him.
But when he realises you're telling the truth, he's dumbstruck. He's stunned but overwhelmingly happy and he tells you he loves you too. It feels like a weights been lifted, to finally tell you, to know you haven't turned him away. That you actually love him too.
The second way it might happen is him blurting it out randomly. This might happen during or after some amazing sex. Maybe you're both snuggled on the sofa and laughing about something stupid. He just looks at your wide and radiant smile and it strikes him how absolutely hopelessly in love with you he is. How lucky he is to be with you. And his mouth takes on a life of its own. The words tumble from his lips without his consent and he panics.
Total blind fear claws at his chest when he realises what he's said. He fears the worst. That you'll say you don't feel the same, maybe even laugh at him. Yet you don't do those things. You tell him you love him too. He reacts the same as the other scenario. Wary at first until he sees you mean it. And then he's overjoyed and shocked and confused but ridiculously happy.
The last scenario is similar to the other one in that it gets blurted out. Only this time it's during a heated discussion or argument. I made a whole headcanon post about arguing with Billy and another on the kind of things you might argue about.
This isn't a huge fight but most likely caused by something you did that he saw as reckless. Something like you walking home from work in the dark instead of getting a cab or calling him. Is he being overdramatic? Definitely. He knows this. But he's so terrified something might happen to you and it frustrates him that you don't see that. That you have no idea how much it would kill him if you got hurt. And in the middle of all the anger and the blind fear and intensity in the moment, after a biting remark from you, the words get ripped from his chest.
"Because I fuckin' love you, alright?! I'd die if somethin' happened to you! So you don't get to stand there and tell me it's no big deal!"
He's full of barely restrained rage at the mere thought of someone hurting you and he's sad and upset that you don't seem to care much about your own wellbeing.
But now it's a tense silence because he just blurted those words and worst of all, he yelled them at you. It was all going wrong and he hates it. But his panic was kept at bay by his anger, his only outwards reactions being the clenched jaw, the narrowed eyes and the roll of his shoulder. He's steeling himself for the inevitable. The searing pain of rejection.
But then you're yelling right back that you love him too and calling him an asshole and he's never been happier in his damn life. And with emotions still running high from the fight, he tosses you over his shoulder and takes you to the bedroom so he can show you just how much he loves you.
-
Ways he shows you he loves you:
Any of these that don't involve the words 'I love you' he's already been doing a while. But he continues to do so after that hurdle of first telling you passes and he gets comfortable with telling you verbally at every chance he gets.
He loves taking care of you. If he's off work he loves making you breakfast in bed. He loves cooking for you, he's actually quite good at it. He draws you relaxing baths, sometimes joining you and not even for sex. If you've had a hard day at work, he'll put your feet in his lap as you sit on the sofa with him and rub your sore feet.
He often buys you your favorite flowers, always accompanied by a sweet note. When you're both at work, he stops by your work for lunch because he can't stand a whole day away from you.
Since he wakes before you, he often just lays there and watches you. With the sun rising and bathing you in its glow, he watches in awe of how he managed to get someone as amazing as you. He doesn't dwell on these moments for too long though. His treacherous brain has a habit of poisoning anything good. If he lays there too long, his thoughts turn sour as the voice in the back of his head tells him he's not good enough for you. He doesn't deserve you, deserve your love. You'll leave him one day, realise you deserve way better than someone like him. He was an unloved and unwanted child, and that little boy is still there inside of him, hiding behind his bravado and his fancy ass suits. It's a downward spiral he finds it hard to come back from and he learned his lesson long ago. So instead, he allows himself a moment to admire you, appreciate you, and then he gets up for the day.
He doesn't wake you, you look so sweet and peaceful and he doesn't have the heart to. You don't need to get up as early as he does. Sometimes, if he's feeling particularly sappy, he leaves a note for you on his pillow. Letting you know how much he loves you and that he'll miss you while at work.
Gifts are abundant with Billy. It doesn't matter what it is, if you want it then it's yours. If it's expensive, it's yours. Cheap, it's yours. Weird and rare and very hard to get, he finds a way and it's yours. He's also a sucker for sentimental gifts. Jewellery that means something, maybe the date you met engraved on it. Some kind of photo gift with a picture of the two of you.
Billy has a lot of affection to give you. I've talked about this in other posts but he's a tactile person. He always needs to be touching you, reassuring himself you're real, you're safe and you're there with him. He often puts his hand on your neck, slender fingers feeling your pulse under them. It soothes him to do so. There's plenty of kisses on your head, temples, shoulders, neck, cheeks. He can't help it. He also loves stroking your hair. His hand are always attached to you like there's a gravitational pull towards you he can't resist. There's at least one hand on you at all times if you're near.
-
Billy doesn't fall for people easily. It's never happened before you. But when he falls, he falls hard. It's an all consuming kind of love that takes over his whole being.
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cosmicrew · 3 years ago
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Close your eyes, take a deep breath, follow your intuition and choose the pile that calls on you! You can also use your pendulum, whatever works best for you. After you’ve chosen click on read more to read your message. This reading is specifically about how you are mostly perceived by others.
Disclaimer: This is a general reading so take only what resonates for you intuitively and leave the rest.
Legal disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only and the user is responsible for their own choices and decisions.
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Pile One: Others see you as a very passionate person, someone fun to hang out with, someone social (maybe you know a lot of people or have a lot of friends), and someone “desirable”, physically good looking as well. Friendships are important to you, you are a loyal friend and your friends always know they can count on you. However, at times, others see you as the kind of person that starts things off very energetically but might not follow through. For some of you, you might have a lot of romantic options around (and this is quite noticeable by others - why wouldn’t it when you are so attractive) but you might not be the type to fully commit to anyone, you might flirt around but at the end of the day it takes more than just flirting for someone to gain your heart. For some others, you might be the token “in a relationship” friend. You like taking care of yourself, however some people might perceive you as being superficial, vain, lazy, self-centered or promiscuous. Remember that if someone thinks you’re on a pedestal it’s most likely they put you up there, so there’s no need to worry if others perceive you as arrogant or self-centered as long as you’re just doing you, that speaks of their insecurities more than it does about you. As for placements you might have fire placements in your chart (for some of you it’s specifically Leo, maybe a fire rising as well), earth placements (especially Taurus) and/or air placements (especially Libra or Gemini).
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Pile Two: Others view you as quite broad minded and courageous in taking up new ventures. You might have gone through transformation at a certain point of your life, physically as well (hello glow up!) and you tend to be quite unpredictable. At times, other people don’t know how to pinpoint you, since you might not open up easily or let others know a lot about you even though you usually appear friendly. It is hard for others to predict what your next step is going to be. Other people are usually very attracted to your energy because it is pure and refreshing. You have the ability to make others feel calmer with your presence, you (because of your life story or just because of your presence), make others feel hopeful, just like how flowers start blooming again in spring after a long winter. There is also the possibility of some of you being born during springtime. You are very creative and a visionary, others often look up to you and to your creative ideas/endeavours. You are not scared to take up new adventures or risks as long as it is about something that lights up your heart. You are also seen as a ‘teacher’ of some sorts, that might either be your job or you could be a spiritual teacher or someone that mentors others so they can grow and become the best version of themselves. You are generally seen as wise, someone that knows how to work well with others, and that is generally peaceful and accepting of others no matter what. The kind of person you can go to for advice because you know they won’t judge you.
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Pile Three: Others view you as someone that has gone through some hardship in their life but is quite private about it. Much like Pile Two, you also have gone through deep transformation and healing in your life, you might have needed to work on your boundaries or are still working on them. Your boundaries might have been either too weak (you would allow others to take advantage of you) or too high up (you might be the person that would cut others off way too easily). Others view you as very intuitive, you might be good at understanding what motives lie behind other people’s actions, they might view you as inquisitive and as someone that doesn’t show much of themselves but to whom you can’t hide anything because you tend to see right through others. You are also the kind of person that is focused on growth and is willing to step out of their comfort zone, you might also help others step out of their comfort zone by asking questions and helping them realize or notice things about themselves that they didn’t before. Very observant. Others might feel intimidated by you sometimes.
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Pile Four: Others view you as a very rational, grounded, down-to-earth individual. A go-getter, ambitious, you are clear on what your goals are and are the type of person that goes for them. You are also a free-spirit, you do respect rules but only when they make sense to you, you are strong-willed and will not allow anyone to tell you what to do. You are very defensive of your energy and won’t let just anyone in. You are very opinionated and are not afraid to speak your mind, even when you have to say things that might not be as pleasant to hear. You are not the kind of person to be aggressive in any type of way, however you can get quite ruthless once you feel your sense of security is endangered and/or others are trying to push your boundaries or shove their beliefs down your throat. You are the “live and let live” type of person therefore you might not have a lot of tolerance for people that don’t respect your boundaries. You might have Earth placements in your chart, Scorpio or Aquarius.
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effeminateboyninja · 4 years ago
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♡ konoha 11 wedding hcs! ♡ pt. 1
+ sasuke
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Naruto
literally bouncing off the walls the day he plans to do it, you know something's up. "Naruto, what's up with you today?" "wha-what do you mean, what's up with you?!" and there's that adorable blush, "you look very pretty today btw"
takes you to dinner at your favourite place and not Ichiraku's for once, and this poor man, his cheeks are beet red and he's stumbling over his words the whole time. and he keeps fiddling with something in his pocket?? finally, he works up the nerve and gets out of his seat to kneel in front of you, and for the first time all the night he doesn't stutter, "(y/n), I love you so much, and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. will you marry me?"
huge summer wedding! he invites the whole village because he's so proud to be officially become your husband and he wants everyone who helped him get to this point see it. his eyes well up and his face breaks out into the biggest grin when he sees you walk down the aisle, you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen
your song: electric love by BORNS
Sakura
she's been head over heels for years, so she thinks why not? she's definitely not going to wait around any longer for you to do it, so she goes and buys the ring
she wanted it to be a perfect proposal, but as shinobi things don't always work out as planned amirite? you guys get called off on a mission and after coming so close to losing you she decides she needs to do it now. so while you're both sitting there panting, covered in dirt and blood, and she looks over and pulls out the small box weakly. "I wanna spend my life with you (y/n), no matter how long we might have. marry me?"
after the tumultuous proposal you two plan the wedding perfectly. it's a romantic spring affair with everyone who cares about you present. when you see each other for the first time tears well in both your eyes, you can't believe this is really happening! the reception goes long into the night, you two holding onto one another dancing the whole time
your song: lover by taylor swift
Sasuke
he wasn't expecting to want to marry you as much as he does, but soon he considers it he can't stop imagining you walking down the aisle towards him and he knows he's got to ask or risk going crazy
agonizes over every detail of the proposal. he ends up writing you a love letter, and at the end he asks you to meet him at the place you met for the first time. you arrive and he's already down on his knee, surrounded by candles. "(y/n), you're the love of my life. would you give me the honour of marrying you?"
private and elegant winter wedding. the snow falls around you as you say your vows and he keeps your hands warm in his. he's not usually one to be romantic in public but this is an exception, his vows brings tears to your eyes with their sincerity
your song: yes to heaven by lana del rey
Kiba
he can't wait to ask you to marry him, he's known since day one that you were the one for him. he's so excited to do it he basically drags you to the spot he spent the whole day picking out, it's in a clearing in the woods and you're surrounded by flowers
he's looking at you with that adorable goofy grin you love so much but you have no idea what he's up to until he kneels in front of you. "omg Kiba... are you?" "shh, (y/n) I planned out a speech." and he tells you how much you mean to him and how he wants to spend every single day with you, will you please marry him?
he lets you do most of the planning, he just wants it to be perfect for you. all he asks is that the reception is a huge party. so it happens on a perfect summer day, and when he see's you walking towards him he can't believe his eyes, he's lucky enough to marry the most beautiful woman in the world. he won't cry, but prepare for a wolf whistle or something of the sort
your song: jackie and wilson by hozier
Hinata
she's wants to marry you so badly, but she's too shy to ask herself so you start noticing her drop little hints like "oh did you hear so-and-so are getting married? that's so lovely" and you notice a page open on her computer browsing engagement rings?
and honestly you've been waiting for a sign like this for months so you pick out the ring right away, and plan to take her for a romantic dinner. afterwards while you're walking home together under the stars you get down on one knee, and she doesn't even let you finish the question before she's wrapping you in her arms, "yes! yes! yes!"
it's an elegant winter wedding, puffy snowflakes falling slowly outside as you you exchange your vows in front of your loved ones. she walks down the aisle towards you and your heart almost stops, she's absolutely glowing. your first dance feels like there's no one else in the room
your song: if my heart was a house by owl city
Shino
omg he's such a sweetheart about it, he asks Hinata for all the advice he can get because he wants it to be perfect. but no matter how much he plans it out in his head he's still nervous
he takes you for a romantic picnic out in the woods so you too can be alone, he knows he'll chicken out if anyone else is around. but as the afternoon goes on he remembers why he loves you so much, you make him feel so at ease and confident in himself. so he turns to you and pulls out the ring, so sure about what he's about to do "will you marry me, (y/n)?"
the wedding is a pretty small traditional affair, but all your friends and family are there to watch you two take this step into the next chapter of your lives together. he's glad he has his glasses on because he does shed a tear when he sees you for the first time, he can't help it
your song: without words by ray lamontagne
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shozaii · 4 years ago
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title: too feisty.
genre: angst.
characters: dazai, chuuya, kunikida, akutagawa.
warnings: rough behavior, the boys arguing with you :(
request: hi, i could ask for scenarios and headcanons for dazai, chuuya, kunikida, akutagawa, when i have an argument with my s/o and they don't speak to each other for several days. how it is reconciled and after how many days. thank you very much☺️☺️☺️😉😉😌😌
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(a/n): hewwooo anon! thank youuu so much for requesting!! i did my best writing this, so i hope you enjoy reading it! 
masterlist.
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☆ d a z a i.
- arguing with dazai is like yelling into the void. he doesn’t really understand why you’re both going through this pain, the torture of the wrong emotions at a very wrong time - when in reality it was all supposed to be sunshine and rainbows. did you not see the sunshine in his eyes anymore? was he going to be left alone again? so many thoughts left his head, yet all he could do was listen to what you have to say.
- simple to say, he is quiet the entire time because he just doesn’t want you both to end up torn; worse, broken. he wouldn’t want to see you break, either. unable to express any of his feelings, he tends to stare at you with a thin line formed on his lips.
- it depends on what you’re arguing, really. if he knows it’s his fault, he obliges to it. if he’s just confused, his darkened gaze burns into you. he looks like he’s about to flip. instead, he huffs softly, walks up to you, and looks right at you for a bit.
- once he’s done looking at you, he leaves. he walks and walks to literally anywhere which would give him comfort. he looks up into the sky, and wonders just what he could do to become a better person. after all, it was all for you.
- shall no one come in between and take away one from the other.
- the silent treatment has gone as far as a week. dazai respects the time you need to be alone, even though he is tempted to initiate a conversation earlier than expected. the other arguments have lasted for at least 2-3 days. i wouldn’t see him asking for help from anyone - he wants to show you and himself that he has the capability of reaching himself out to you, owning up to his mistakes and reconcile. if it was you who returns first, his heart would literally shatter. 
- i feel like he would call you to come over to the favorite spot of yours, or maybe walk up to you one fine night, wrapping his arms around you, planting slow kisses on your neck. his way of apologizing is sometimes through affection, or touch. it’s like a reassurance that he’s going to be there for you, and he understands that arguments do happen once in a while. 
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☆ c h u u y a.
- he might get really irritated. no cap. i have a feeling he might blow up on you just a little? but the irritation mostly comes from the moment the two of you start arguing. he clenches his fists a whole lot, might chew the inside of his lip, try not to look at you in the eyes because he might start tearing up too.
- oh he might go as far as to slamming his hands on the table, which would leave you taken aback by his actions. once he realizes what he did, he just crumbles because holy crap did he not want to see you panic. 
- chuuya doesn’t like silent treatment at all. i feel like he would have a fear of abandonment. the pre - port mafia days didn’t treat him right. at this point his heart is thumping hard because when you both begin the treatment, he knows he’s not going to go through this well. so how does he cope? wine. but he doesn’t go to a bar. it’s always from the stock he saves at home. he possibly never leaves the house, either - except for serious missions.
- he shakes when his comrades tell him to text you, so practically he would rather do it face to face. it seems way more better that way for him. this period lasts for about 2 days max. he can never go beyond that.
- cue him engulfing you into a warm cuddle sesh; it’s going to take a while for him to let go of you. he talks about how wrong he was, how he’s going to make it up for you - i feel like he would’ve gotten you something just in case. he’s just willing to spend tons for you i swear
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☆ k u n i k i d a.
- i feel like one of his written ideals about you/arguments is him reminding himself that conversation is key. it doesn’t have to be any specific topics; it must be implemented in everything. i have a huge headcanon that kunikida tends to get nervous if he has to let out an opinion he never has put out about, until the very last minute where he has to decide his own fate - right or wrong?
- but nope, he’s not reserved. he would let you know exactly how does he feel during the argument, though he would never, ever try and raise his voice at you. let’s just say you accidentally raise your own, he wouldn’t be bothered by it either, and would maintain his composure.
- yes, he does get angry very easily. but when it comes to you his guard gets let down, and he is more of himself when it comes to conversations with you. fights are very rarely heated. 
- i think they do get pretty intense when he’s just so stressed out with work in general, worried if he could protect you during these trying times, paperwork maybe? or how you might take his job easily while he doesn’t. it doesn’t hit him at first but when he does realize that he screamed at you, his heart drops to his feet. the longest you have not talked to each other is for about a day.
- sometimes i forget that kunikida is younger than dazai. but anyway - if dazai notices kunikida’s sour face, and somehow dazai gets him to spit it all out. this would somehow give clarification to kunikida that his partner isn’t all that bad when it comes to advice. he would give pretty good ones and fulfil his role as a senior.
- when he apologizes he looks down at the floor, but slowly proceed to look up into your eyes if he realizes this is his opportunity to take. 10/10 would give you the smallest apologetic smile, and might even kneel while taking your hand. he’s just sooo in love with you aksjkdjkj
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☆ a k u t a g a w a.
- hot-tempered. send tweet. 
- a little bit like chuuya to be honest. would bang his fists against a hard surface, stomp the floor, or crush any type of object he has in his hands. but never, ever expect him to use rashomon on you. having you in his life was more than a gift itself, so using his ability on you wouldn’t even be on the last things he would do.
- maybe when he does show his anger by banging and smashing things around, you would see a red glow which would cause you to back away or be afraid of him. this is his turning point. has he officially scared you already? was he bad? what did he look like in your eyes? what’s your next step?
- not talking to each other would probably last as long as a week? two weeks. it’s what i see. he gets scared of himself too, and might as well get a panic attack from what he has done to hurt his loved one. he’s always wanted you to be his first and last. would go to more missions to distract himself (and win most fights, but fail at forgetting about the argument you had). 
- in this case, it would take some time for him to loosen up and talk to someone about it. he might have done this once. only once, never repeated again because he’s just so embarrassed to do so. 
- aku would start the conversation. he’s lightly tap on your shoulder and might utter the words, “let’s talk” but tiny. as for affection, he would kiss your hand and look away, flushed. there would be this lil pout too, but at least you guys are one again.
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(a/n): after a long time, here i am with a new fic for bsd!! i feel accomplished now UwU!! lemme know what you think!!🥰❤
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spidernerdsblog · 3 years ago
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Match made in Hell : Chapter Twelve
A/N : Chapter twelve is here. Ah only one more chapter left. Hope you like this chapter. Let me know what you think.
Pairing : Mob! Tom Holland x Reader
Summary : you always wanted a simple life but to be born as the daughter of a dangerous mobster turned out to be a curse for you. Everything changes when your father gets your lover killed and forcefully marries you off to another mobster as a part of a deal. You hate your father and your husband the only thing you seek is now revenge. Will you ever be able to fall in love again or this burning hatred inside you will consume you?
Warnings : fluff, pregnancy, misogyny, mention of blood, violence, language, missed typos.
SERIES MASTERLIST
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“What's wrong?” Vanessa looks at you questioningly.
“I think I might have had skipped for a couple of days,” you admit, scrunching your nose.
“Can you be less vague? Cause I’m not getting it” she deadpans as you scowl at her for not getting your implication.
“Okay so I got shot a month ago I hope you remember that. I was on medication right? Well a lot of medications actually” you half shrug “so with all that going on I may or may not have forgotten to take the pills during that time and we got caught up in the moment at one time and things just happened you know”
“Well you guys are literal horndogs I have no doubt in that” she rolls her eyes “but you need to take the test” she states out to you.
“What? Now?” you looked at her stunned.
“Yes and right now” she stresses on her words.
“But I don't have any test kits at this moment” you mutter
“Then I'll ask someone to get them from the store”
“No! don’t tell anyone especially the boys” you give her a panicked look and Vanessa scoffs.
“OK relax I'll go and get it for you” saying so she left immediately. It took half an hour for Vanessa to make a trip round to the store as you waited for her in your room anxiously.
“Here” she hands you the pregnancy test kit. You nibble on to your bottom lip glancing back and forth between the box and her face.
“C'mon go on” she urged you on. You finally stood up and went inside the bathroom. Closing the door behind you let out a deep sigh taking one last glance at the box before opening it. After reading the instructions carefully you proceeded to do accordingly. When you were done you placed the stick on the marble counter and opened the door for Vanessa to come in.
“Done” you inform her.
“OK, now we wait,” she says, glancing at her watch. Five minutes appeared to be five years for you as you paced back and forth while Vanessa chewed on her nails leaning on the counter in anticipation.
“OK it’s time” she announces and you feel your heartbeat quicken. You took a deep breath and stepped forward to have a look but immediately backed off feeling anxious.
“Oh god I can't look at it” you wrap your arms around yourself.
“What?” Vanessa looks at you puzzled.
“You check it for me please I can’t” you gave her an earnest look.
“You're so dramatic” she rolls her eyes and goes to check the result and falls silent taking the test in hand.
“What? What is it?” you ask impatiently.
“Negative” she answers.
“Negative? Really?” you weren't convinced with the result as you looked at her with doubt in your eyes.
“Yeah” she confirms again.
“Oh that's a relief heh” you chuckle lightly “I told you before only it's just a stomach bug”
“You're upset that it's negative, aren’t you?” Vanessa gives you a knowing look.
“What? No I mean… yeah a little it wouldn't be bad you know but nevermind” you fiddle with your hands fumbling on your words.
“So you wanted a baby?” she raises her eyebrows questioningly.
“I mean yeah I love kids and wouldn't mind one of my own specially if it’s a cute little version of my husband running around the house on his little feet” you expressed your little desire.
“You sure?” she reasserts, raising her eyebrows as the corner of her mouth picks into a smile.
“Yeah but it doesn't matter anyways cause the test is negative as you said” you shrugged letting off the thought.
“Well then good news sissy it's actually positive” Vanessa smiles at you widely and you were taken aback.
“What?! You serious?” she nods, holding out the stick in front of you to see it yourself.
“Oh my god you bitch!” you gasp “who's dramatic now huh?” you scowl, hitting her arm lightly.
“Ow! At least I helped you figure out what you actually feel about the whole thing” she places her hands on your shoulders “congratulations sister you’re gonna have a baby!”
“I’m gonna have a baby” you repeat that to yourself. You still couldn’t believe that this was happening as you placed a hand gently over your stomach
“And I'm going to be an aunt. I’m so happy for you guys” she hugs you tightly but soon your face drops as you pull away from her with a worried expression.
“What happened? Why again the gloomy face?” Vanessa nudges you.
“I don’t want my baby to be part of this bloodshed. I have been trying to run away from this and here I’m again pushing my child right into that same hell hole” you rant with tears in your eyes.
“I think you need to first talk to Tom and then make a decision. You understand?” you nod “everything will be fine don’t worry” she pulls you in her embrace comforting you.
It was almost a week that you got to know you were pregnant but still you couldn’t break the news to Tom, you just didn’t have the nerves to do it yet.
****
You stood by the mirror glancing at your reflection though there wasn’t a visible bump but you still rubbed your hand over your belly. The thought of a life growing inside made your heart swell with warmth. Somehow you felt more livelier than you have ever been a certain glow emanating through your features. Maybe this is what people meant by pregnancy glow. You felt happy and content from inside out, you felt complete as if you had found the missing piece of your life. But you still had to tell Tom and the only person you could think of for some advice was your mom as you finally called her.
“Hi sweetie” your mother’s sweet voice comes from the other end.
“Hey mom”
“So what reminds my daughter about her old mother?” she snickers.
“Mom! you really think that I called for another favor” you grimace.
“Well you don't call much for me to think otherwise”
“C'mon mom you know my situation with dad”
“Yeah, yeah I'm just messing with you now, what’s the matter? you sound stressed” she observed.
“I... just really miss you” you sigh
“Sweetie, is everything alright?” she asks with concern.
“Yeah just wanted to hear your voice that’s all”
“I'm your mother Y/N, I can totally feel that something is bothering my little girl?”
“Mom, can I ask you something?” you say taking a deep breath.
“Anything honey”
“Were you scared when you first came to know that you were pregnant with me?”
“What?”
“I mean to say that I was totally unplanned and for my sake you had to marry that man so were you scared thinking about what your future will be in a crime family?”
“Well honestly I had little choice in that matter. I was stuck in the middle of the rivalry so in order to keep you safe I married him. But honey the day I held you in my arms all my fears went away. The only thing I know is that I can spend the rest of my life looking at you. You were never a mistake you were the best gift given to me”
“That's nice to hear” you smile
“But why after so many years you are bringing this up?”
“Nothing I just have somethings in my mind going on right now and it feels a lot” you try to shrug it off.
“Sweetie, what are you hiding from me?” she prods.
“Nothing mom I swear!” you exclaim.
“I know very well what this ‘nothing mom’ means c'mon tell me”
“Well I'm pregnant” you inform as you hear her gasp.
“What?! Oh my god I can't believe my ears, is this really true? This isn’t a prank right? Like you used to do when you were little”
“No mom it isn’t a prank” you reassure her lightly chuckling.
“Oh god I'm so happy for you honey. My little girl is going to be a mom herself? When did she grow so big?” she shrieks eyes welling up in happiness “Does Tom know?”
“Not yet” you inform.
“Not yet? Why what's wrong? Does he not want it?”
“No it’s nothing like that… actually I myself don’t know. This just happened so suddenly though I was thrilled initially but now I’m worried actually scared I-I don't think I will be a good mother. I mean my life is already a mess. I don't want to give this life to my child. They don't deserve this”
“Listen to me Y/N no one is perfect even I made mistakes too and that’s how we learn. How much ever you want to plan your life Y/N, it will always have a way of surprising you with unexpected things that will make you happier than you originally planned” she makes you understand “Tom is a nice guy I’m sure he’ll always be by your side. And I know my girl too and how much strong she is you have got this Y/N just believe in yourself and Tom”
“Thanks mom really needed to hear this from you”
“Anytime honey now take some rest and then tell everything to Tom, speak to you soon, love you”
“Love you too mom” you end the call feeling lighthearted as if a weight has been lifted off your chest. You grew up in a very dysfunctional family which made you yearn for a perfect happy family and when you have finally got it you’re not going to let anything mess it up at any cost.
****
The basement of your mansion was kind of Tom’s personal hell. He had particularly made it to held people captive for whoever dared to cross him and torture them to death. You were actually never allowed down there but today you got to join him. As you approached the room in the basement you heard screams and groans of a man in pain. Tom opened the door and you both stepped inside to find Ethan tied up in a chair beaten mercilessly barely conscious groaning in pain. His body was pale and face bruised with a black eye, nose bleeding, jaw swollen from the right temple down the cheek. Harrison was standing in front of him in a black tank top and jeans all worked up heaving in anger as you noticed his bloody knuckles. Two other lackeys were also present to help him with the interrogation.
“Haz anything so far?” Tom asks, lighting up a cigarette.
“Nothing till now this bastard won't speak up” he mutters, grabbing a fistful of Ethan’s silky black hair and tugging it harshly. Tom stalks towards him and bents down blowing the smoke on his face
“Well mate you have to speak up some or the other time” he smirks with a condescending tone.
“Over my dead body” Ethan grits under his teeth glaring at him.
“Sooner or later you are gonna end up dead anyways but not before you tell us everything you know about the rest of the viper gang”
“You think you can torture me to disclose everything” he snickers weakly “nah you have got the wrong man dude. You gotta do lot more than this”
“You know what Ethan? I'm not good with patience so the sooner you speak up the sooner you get your sweet death”
“And I think I’ve got the time of the world” he laughs tauntingly “why don’t you ask your wife to do it? Maybe she can seduce everything out of me like the pathetic whore she is” he slurs at you with a mocking tone. Tom clenches his jaw as his hands balled into tight fists and in no time he lands a punch right at his jugular as he coughs up blood.
“Watch your bloody mouth!” Tom growls, grabbing him by his collar “you really don’t know how tempted I am to cut you into pieces one by one as I watch you slowly bleed to death” he mutters, looking at him with malice in his eyes.
The scene in front of you wasn’t that pleasant though you’re used to it but with the raging pregnancy hormones everything seemed heightened for you. The room began to feel stuffy as you found it difficult to breathe adding to that the raunchy putrid smell of blood mixed with the smell of nicotine in the room swept through your nose which made your stomach churn and you tasted bile. The urge to throw up grew strong for you to hold it any longer. You grabbed your mouth, letting out a muffled "excuse me" you ran upstairs to your room.
“Y/N?” Tom lets go of Ethan and calls you back worriedly as everyone’s attention turns to you.
“You go check I can handle this” Harrison assures exchanging glances with Tom as he nodded and sprinted off to your bedroom. He finds the bathroom locked as he hears gagging noises from inside.
“Y/N, love you alright?” He knocks on the door
“Yeah I'm fine” you answer before throwing up again. When you were sure that there’s nothing left for you to throw up you stepped out of the bathroom face flushed and exhausted. Tom hastily went to hold your hand.
“Oh my god are you ok?” he gasps lightly
“Yes Tom I’m fine don’t worry” you tell him
“You don't look fine to me” he drapes a hand around your shoulders and slowly walks you towards the bed and makes you sit down.
“Tom it's ok”
“Y/N we need to go see a doctor now” he insists.
“No, no it’s fine a little rest will be enough for me”
“I’m not listening to anything, wait I-I’m calling the doctor at home only” he fumbles pulling out his phone from his pocket to make a call.
“Tom, relax! It's totally normal in the first months of pregnancy” you exclaim
“What?!” Tom frowns as your eyes go wide realizing your slip up  “Did you just say pregnancy?” he reiterates.
“Yes” you sigh standing up “I'm pregnant….with our child” you reveal placing your hand over your belly and Tom’s expression changed into a mix of shock and happiness.
“What? You're serious? You-you aren't kidding right?”
“Do I seem to be in the state of joking?” you raise your eyebrows unamused.
“Yeah, yeah right” he mumbles to himself as he processes the news and soon after excitement takes over him “Oh god Y/N this is such great news!” He lifts you up and does a little spin.
“Oh my god Tom put me down!” you squeal
“Oh I’m sorry” he puts you down “I’m just so excited. When did you get to know?”
“A week ago” you said meekly.
“And you didn't tell me? Why?” you felt a little intimidated under his questioning gaze. Even before you could say something he made his own assumption.
“Wait, you don't want this, is that why?” he looks at you with dreaded eyes
“No, No, no that's not what it is?” you shake your head vigorously in disapproval “you have got it all wrong”
“Then what is it Y/N?” he asks you softly.
“It's actually the opposite. I was just scared as it was totally unplanned and with all this going on with my father you are already tensed. I wasn’t sure how you would react” you rambled.
“Oh darling” he breathes out cupping your face gently with his broad hands “you don't know today you have made me the happiest man on this fucking world. This is everything I wanted honey. You, me and our perfect little happy family” you smiled at him as he carefully placed his hands on your belly.
“How far are you? Is everything normal? Are you both ok?” he badgered you with questions.
“I... actually thought you would come with me on my first checkup” you looked at him bashfully “it's-it's just I wanted you to be there with me if you aren't too busy”
“Of course love, no work is more important than you and my little one” he beams with joy. Tom didn’t waste a second to call at the hospital to schedule your appointment.
“Mr. and Mrs. Holland” the nurse calls out
“Yes?” you both respond standing up from your seats.
“Dr. Martin is ready to see you” she informs and leads you inside the room.
“Please lie down” she instructs and you follow by lying down on the examination chair while Tom sits on the chair beside you. The nurse then leaves the room and soon after the doctor arrives. She was a middle aged woman and looked quite experienced as she greeted you warmly.
“Hello Mrs. Holland, I’m Dr. Martin”
“Hello doctor” you smiled courteously.
“So how are you feeling today?”
“I feel fine, doctor, just a little bit tired...” you were quickly cut off by Tom
“No doctor she got really sick and nauseous the other day” he puts forth his concern.
“Morning sickness is normal at this time Mr. Holland. There’s nothing to worry about” she reassures him.
“See?” you whisper with a knowing glare. Tom still wasn’t convinced but let it go for now.
“Ready to have a first look at your baby?” she asks cheerfully as you nod, lifting your shirt up. She rubbed the cool gel on your lower stomach while Tom held your hand tightly. Then she switches the monitor on and runs the tool on your belly. A hazy black and white image appears on the screen as the room fills with the rhythmic beeping of heartbeat. You and Tom stare at the monitor in awe.
“You see right here?” the doctor points at the middle of the screen with a pen.
“Awww that's our baby” you squeeze Tom's hand gently, a stray tear of joy rolls down your cheek. Tom was himself brimming with emotions, he knelt down and kissed your forehead with adoration as you noticed London’s most feared mobster’s eyes wet.
“I can already pick the heartbeats” she reveals further as you both give her a puzzled look.
“Heartbeats? As in plural” Tom asked in shock.
“Yeah two heartbeats” she confirms “you're going to have twins Mrs. Holland” she adds. You gasped and smiled instantly feeling giddy and overwhelmed at the news.
“We're gonna have twins” you looked up at him with a sparkle in your eyes.
“Yes we are, love” a wide smile spread across his face “you gotta admit I did a really good job in there though” he whispers cockily and there he was back again in his usual self.
“Tom!” you glared, squeezing his hand tightly.
“Ow! Sorry, sorry” he chuckles when you both were interrupted as Dr Martin began to speak again.
“You are approximately 8 weeks and all parameters seem to be normal. The babies are growing fine, nothing to worry about. After 10 weeks we can identify the genders” she elucidates “But you have to be extra careful as you are a new mom and with twins. Everything will be doubled for you so maintaining a proper diet, getting a good amount of sleep is very important. No heavy lifting and most importantly no stress at all as it directly affects the babies. The expectant mother should always be happy” she advises.
“We’ll keep that in mind doc thank you so much” Tom acknowledges her.
“Well then I’ll see you on your next check up. Do you want the prints of the ultrasound?”
“Yes please” you both said together.
“Ok I’ll get it right away”
On the way back home the whole ride Tom kept rambling about how everything needed to be baby proofed and keep everything ready as if you are going to labor tomorrow itself. He even suggested that he shift your bedroom downstairs so that you don’t have to climb up the stairs. You had to literally ask him to shut up and relax that you have seven more months to go.
****
You were about to get off the bed when Tom came in with a huge tray of food.
“Good morning love” he went and sat in front placing the tray on his lap as you looked at the amount of food which was double than you usually have.
“What's all this Tom?” you ask frowning.
“Breakfast in bed”
“I can see that but is this a breakfast for a giant? What's with these enormous portions?” you pointed out.
“If I may remind you, you are now eating for three so you have to eat accordingly”
“In no way I'm going to eat that much” you stated firmly
“But darling…”
“Nope, not happening. I said no means no” you shake your head side to side “I don’t want to get fat because after a few I’m gonna be all big and round anyways and then you wouldn't look at me” your hormones getting the best of your insecurities as you rambled without much thinking.
“Hey look at me” he holds your chin between his index and thumb fingers making you look at him “you seriously think that? You. will. always. be. the prettiest woman for me do you understand?” he asks as you nod “I bet you are going to be the most beautiful mom. Our kids are lucky to have a fearless, confident woman like you as their mother” he says looking deep into your eyes “and I can’t wait to see you all big and round” he adds smiling.
“But I’m still not gonna eat all of it”
“Ok you can eat as much you can no pressure” he assures you as you take the fruit bowl in your hand and start to munch on the fruits one by one going into a deep thought.
“Now what is going on in that mind of yours?” he asks breaking you out of your thoughts.
“I think we should tell everyone I mean your mom and dad then the boys they would be thrilled to know”
“So you wanna invite them over lunch?” he offers.
“Yeah that will be really nice”
****
Tom’s family arrived on time, after lunch all of you gathered in the living room as you and Tom stood in the middle. Everyone looked at you both expectantly though Tom’s dad had a disinterested look like all times.
“Sorry for the short notice but this was kind of important and we were really excited to share this news with you” you started.
“Did the police catch your father?” Harry asks out of nowhere
“That would have been really nice but unfortunately no”
“Then what is it?” Harrison asks impatiently.
“Well….we’re pregnant” you both announce.
“What?!” everyone collectively gasped.
“Is it true?” Nikki looked between you two
“Yes mum” Tom confirms bashfully wrapping a hand around your waist and pulling you closer.
“Oh my god this is such good news” she gets up to you and takes your hands in hers “I’m so happy for you” she cradles the side of your face lovingly.
“Finally I'm going to get to see the face of my grandson, my heir. That's some good news after all huh” Tom’s dad remarks with gruff in his voice as Nikki looks at you apologetically.
“Actually dad, we're going to have twins,” Tom added.
“Well that’s good, can't wait to meet my grandsons as they’re going to take over our business in future” he said still emphasizing on having a son and honestly neither you nor Tom wanted your twins to join the mob.
“Oh dear now that’s something big” Nikki tries to lighten the mood “I remember when I was with Harry and Sam it was a lot of cravings and mood swings get ready for it Tom” she snickers as she starts to give you some helpful tips to make everything a little easier for you as this is your first time.
“Congratulations bro” Harrison goes and hugs Tom tightly.
“Thanks man”
“So I’m gonna be the godfather I assume?” he asks.
“Well we’re yet to decide that” Tom snickers.
“What? C’mon man I’m your best friend and I’m going to be the godfather, that’s final. I know Y/N is still angry at me which by the way is your fault but I’ll manage her” he states confidently
“Good luck with that,” Tom laughs. Everyone left after sometime leaving you both all by yourselves in your house. Tom turns to smiling.
“What?” you ask.
“Close your eyes,” he says.
“Why?” you look at him skeptically
“You still don’t trust me don’t you?”
“No” you quip with a smirk.
“Just close your eyes please I have something to show to you” he pouts with puppy eyes
“Okay” you close your eyes “happy?”
“Yes now come with me”
“Where are you taking me?” you ask again.
“You’ll see soon” he takes your hand and carefully guides you up the stairs. He brings you in front of a room with a large wooden door and slowly clicks the door open.
“Now open your eyes” he whispers softly into your ears. You flutter your eyes open to be awestruck as you look inside the room. It was a nursery for your twins. You looked at everything with wide eyes, two twin cribs situated in the middle with cute plushies in it, the walls painted in soft pastel gender neutral shades, the lighting of the room well coordinated making it look warm and cozy. An armchair for you to take rest.
“How is it?” Tom's voice breaks you out of your thoughts.
“Tom, it’s-it’s beautiful” you breathe out “but when did you?” you looked at him quizzical
“Well as soon as you told me I called in some favors and had this room renovated” he reveals to you.  
“It's-it's really beautiful Tom” you walked further into the room towards the cribs. Brushing your hand over the wooden railings you picked up the baby towel and rubbed it against your cheek feeling the soft texture.
“Sorry I don't have much idea about all this stuff, I just tried my best to make it as comfortable for you three. If you want anything else just tell me I'll get it done” he says scratching the back of his neck.
“Tom, it's perfect. You did a great job. I love it” you take his hand and place it over your belly “and they are gonna love it too” you reassure him.
“I installed a music system too” he adds, turning on the music as he wraps his hands around your waist and sways gently to the music “it's said that listening to calming music helps during this time”
“Someone has been busy reading I see” you tease.
“Well I just want to be there for you guys” he shrugs nonchalantly.
“Aww where did this softy come from? What did you do to my terrifying ruthless mobster husband?” you joke laughing.
“Haha very funny” he scoffs when you finally notice the lyrics of the song.
“Is this our wedding song?” you ask with a knowing smile.
“Yep”
I know you haven't made your mind up yet But I would never do you wrong I've known it from the moment that we met No doubt in my mind where you belong
“Did I ever tell you how bloody gorgeous you looked that day? Just like an angel from the heavens”
“Oh shut up!” you blushed, hitting his chest playfully.
“What? I’m serious” he laughs “couldn’t take my eyes off you”
“Well you didn’t look bad either” you snicker resting your head on his chest “that was such a long time ago isn’t it?”
“Hmm” he hums
“If anybody had told me that we will end up like this I would have never believed it at all” you chuckle at the memories of the numerous heated arguments you had with each other. But now you find solace in each other's arms.
“We have come a long way” he sighs as you feel him tense under you. Something was still bothering him, you knew it for sure.
“Wanna sit down?” you posed
“No it’s fine I’m not tired”
“Well I am pregnant with twins you know heh” he lets go of you and you go and sit on the floor near the cribs back resting against them. You pat on the empty spot beside you urging him to sit down too. He comes and sits down tilting his head on your shoulder as you run your fingers through his soft brown curls.
“I needed to say something to you” he finally lets out.
“Go on I’m listening”
“Don't mind my dad's words I don't care if they are girls or boys I just want you three to be healthy and safe” he says as you go to kiss his forehead lovingly “If you ask me personally I would be thrilled to have two mini Y/Ns” he add.
“Careful what you wish for Mr. Holland you don’t want thrice the trouble do you?” you chuckle.
“Gladly Mrs. Holland” he laughs before turning all gloomy again “do you think they would like me?”
“You are their father Tom they would always love you”
“But what if they don't? What if they hate me when they come to what kind of man their dad is and everything he has done in his life?” he rambles.
“Tom as the eldest son you didn't have a choice they would surely understand” you try your best to make him understand.
“I don't know Y/N, you know my dad wasn't that present for us. It was just us and mum. And when time came all of a sudden I was accompanying him killing people and beating them to death. I want to change that I want to be there for them, for you in every step of your life and most importantly I don’t want that life for them” he rants out.
“Honey, you wanting to do things right has already made you the best father in the world. They are gonna be so proud of their daddy” you cradle his face affectionately.
“You know what, I'm going to stop doing all the illegal trades” he blurts out.
“What do you mean?” you frown at him.
“Means no more shark loaning, extortion, gambling, contract killing everything, everything that's against the laws. I have already made a lot of enemies” he places a hand on your stomach “and I'm not gonna let them inherit this curse too. I need to cut off my ties with the underworld”
���But what about your dad I don't think he would agree with and your brothers then Harrison?”
“Dad will be angry I'm sure of that but Harrison, Sam and Harry would understand. I want to make sure that you all are safe and no more hiding skeletons in the closet” he gives you a determined look as you smile.
“Do whatever is necessary I'll always be there by your side cause I love you”
“I love you too” he says back as your lips meet softly into a chaste kiss.
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true Nothing that I wouldn't do Go to the ends of the Earth for you To make you feel my love To make you feel my love
****
You woke up the next morning hearing some commotion outside your room. You could hear Tom yelling at his men judging by the tone he was furious.
“What?!” he was shocked “how did this happen?! And what were you morons doing at that time?!”
“Sir-sir” the men stuttered in fear.
“I don't want to hear a fucking word from your mouths! Go and find him now or I'll kill you” he threatens “now get out of my sight!” meanwhile, you slip off the bed and put on your robe before stepping out of your room.
“Tom is everything alright” you ask with a worried expression.
“Oh I'm sorry darling did I wake you up? It’s nothing, go back to sleep there will be no more disturbance” he pretends to act like everything is ok.
“Tom, stop lying, what is it? What has happened?” you enquire.
“Nothing darling I promise” he tries his best to convince you but you weren’t buying any of it.
“You're not gonna tell me? fine! I'll go and find out myself” you glower at him.
“Y/N no wait you” he stops you, catching hold of your hand.
“Then tell me what it is?” you demand with a serious look on your face.
“Ethan escaped”
..................................................................................
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hiinnys · 4 years ago
Text
you’re the only one that gets to call me that, you know
(this was also written for @clarensjoy‘s hff, for prompt 47! again, so many thanks to clare for organizing the whole thing, you’re a living legend!!) (also on ao3!)
she doesn’t even think he notices the first time it falls out of his mouth. they’re doing christmas at grimmauld place this year, which makes ginny miss the burrow like a toothache, except that she can’t be too sad that they’re not at home when she sees harry smile, really smile, at something sirius has just said. she’s spent all term watching the world slowly crumble around them, watching harry desperately try to hold it all together, and, yeah, he’s been a bit of a prat lately, but honestly she gets it (remembers the strange darkness that had settled between her ribcage first year), so there’s really no helping the smile that creeps onto her face when she hears him laugh either.
when she thinks about it, and she’s really been trying not to per hermione’s advice, she gets why the da was so quick to trust him. it’s not because of some prophecy, or the wildly impressive things he’s already done, it’s because it’s harry. he’s unendingly kind, moral to the bone, and he’s got enough gryffindor courage to light up the world. he’s electric to be around, like a fire, warming up even the coldest rooms, and suddenly she’s desperate to be near him. she gets up from her seat at the table, where she wasn’t listening to her parents’ conversation, grabs the plate of cookies that was in front of her, and walks over to the couch in the sitting room, where harry, sirius, and remus are sitting. distantly, she wonders if harry feels at home with them, if, in the back of his head, he thinks that he’s finally found his family. she drops the plate on the coffee table, before taking a seat next to him, smiling at the three of them.
“thanks, gin,” he smiles at her, and no one’s ever called her that before, but she likes the way it sounds coming out of his mouth, so she doesn’t say anything, just smiles back and lets herself settle in his warmth.    
***
it’s sprinkled throughout her life from then on.
are you okay, gin? when he sees her for the first time after the battle at the ministry, the first time after sirius dies, and her heart breaks a bit because of course he’s worried about everyone but himself.
hey, gin the first time he sees her the summer after, when he’s a foot taller and more gorgeous than he has any right to be.
gin, gin, gin all over the quidditch pitch, flying all around her like a snitch, golden and exciting and just out of her reach.
***
dean says it one day.
“can you pass the jam, gin?” just comes out of his mouth and she knows she shouldn’t be shocked when he does, that he’s probably picked up on it during practice, but she can’t help the visceral reaction she has to it. it’s nothing he notices, of course, and she passes the jam he was asking for, but her chest clenches against the name in a way it hasn’t before and she doesn’t like it. she doesn’t like the way it sounds against his lips, doesn’t like the way he’s so careless with it, like it’s just another thing to call her by. it grates against her ears, and when she glances at harry, he’s got a strange look on his face, and she thinks it might grate against him, too.
***
ginny figures out pretty quickly that she likes the sound of it the best when it comes out of harry’s lips in a breathy moan. they’re behind one of the more secluded greenhouses, ginny in harry’s lap, her lips against his neck, his eyes closed and his head thrown back against the wall when he whispers it.
“gin,” tumbles from his lips, involuntarily. it’s a whisper, a prayer of worship, and it makes her feel more powerful than she ever has. she smiles against his neck, kisses him in the same spot, just to hear it again.
***
the first time she sees him after the battle’s over, she hugs him. he’s got a limp in his right leg and there’s blood dried in her hair and they both look like they’ve been to hell and back (they have in a way, she supposes), but they’re both there, together, clinging onto each other with the same quiet desperation they had kissed with at bill and fleur’s wedding.
“i’m so sorry, gin,” he whispers into her hair. it settles into her bones and she can’t help the tears leaking out of her eyes because holy shit, he’s here and she saw his dead body, limp in hagrid’s arms, but he’s here and they’re okay. nothing else is, but they are, and she can live with that for now.
***
“you’re the only one that gets to call me that, you know,” she says to him one day. they’re at some muggle café in wales, getting breakfast by the sea. she’s got the week off training, some leg injury that needs rest, so harry’s taken the rare vacation from work partly to keep her company, but mostly so gwenog can be assured ginny’s actually resting.
“call you what?” he asks, sipping his tea and looking deliciously adorable in his harpies jumper (“so the world knows how proud i am of you,” he had said to her, brilliant smile on his face, when ginny had made the team. she’d called him an idiot, then snogged him until they were breathless).
“gin. i don’t let anyone else call me that.”
“really?” and he genuinely seemed surprised, that familiar look of gentle happiness lighting in his eyes, the one that always made her insides glow.
“you’re surprised?”
“yeah, i guess i always thought no one else bothered to call you that. i didn’t know you weren’t letting people.”
she shrugs, head resting on her fist before saying, rather simply “i only like the way you say it,” and when he beams at her in response, she swears the world turns golden.
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