#if a lot of the posts I’m seeing are satire and I just don’t get it pls let me know

[anton-wyzek]

Seeing people once again speculate on Dan and Phil’s relationship,, you all really will never learn

[jo-harrington]

Corroded Coffin Fest - Day 13 - Sex, Drugs, & Rock n Roll

Summary: Up and coming Rockstar Eddie meets his dream girl on Corroded Coffin's first tour. And she's nothing like what he thought she'd be like...

Word Count: 991

Pairing: Rockstar!Eddie x Pornstar!Reader

Rating: T - I KNOW LISTEN BEAR WITH ME...we're playing with the oxymoron ok? ITS NOT ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP

Warnings/Themes: minor discussion of the rockstar/pornstar life (of which I have no experience), mention of smut but nothing graphic, strangers to...somethings, AU within an AU, satire, metafiction, angst, fluff, friendship

Note: Keeping in theme with Saturdays tying into my existing series, this entry takes place in the dream-AU that I just established in the last chapter of my series Stranger Than (Fan)Fiction, which is a story about Eddie realizing that he's been written into a crossover fanfiction with his favorite fictional character (you) from a cult classic television show called Port Geneva (which exists in-universe but obviously was made up by me). Does it sound like a headache? Because it probably is. STFF is EddiexFem!Reader. But its fun and if you're willing to give it a shot...idk I'm biased but 10/10 recommend.

Check Out the Main Post for @corrodedcoffinfest here! Even if you didn’t start on Day 1, you can still join!

Tagging: @the-unforgivenn at her request.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

If someone would've told Eddie that he would meet his favorite porn star--let alone sleep with them--he would've said they were delusional.

But there you had been.

In the pit at one of the shows on their first tour. A face and body he'd seen dozens, if not hundreds, of times on tapes from the adult section at Family Video.

Someone he'd convinced himself he loved, in some weird and desperate way; the world was unforgiving and you were reliably in the VCR anytime he needed you, so could you blame him?

He'd intended to find you after the show, but you had the guts to come and find them first. To tell them you'd been a fan of theirs after seeing them at the state fair last year.

Then one thing led to another...

It was wild, what coincidences and experiences his rising fame brought to him, especially in a dinky town like Port Geneva.

"It's not that dinky," you laughed. You were curled on your side, hand tucked under your head, staring at him like he’d just hung the stars. Maybe he had; he’d made you scream, after all.

A feat he was pretty proud of, actually.

“I’d never even heard of this place before coming here,” he scoffed in return. "Couldn't even tell you what state we're in."

You hummed, “it's funny how you'd never heard of this town but you recognized me.”

You'd brought it up more than once downstairs at the hotel bar. Disbelief that he knew your face when the whiskey had loosened his tongue enough to admit it. Almost to the point of self-deprecation.

“It’s just a job,” you explained. “It pays the bills. Makes relationships hard. But I have a little trinket shop in town. M'sure it’d be closed by now if I didn’t get those checks.”

And whatever stories he'd made up about you in his head before to convince himself it was ok to sort of be hopelessly in love with someone on the other side of his television screen were soon replaced with facts about the real you.

The reality of this situation made him, in contrast, feel almost too embarrassed by himself and his so-called fame. You, happy to stay here unknown, and him, riding his rising star all the way to the top if he could.

There was a long way to go.

”Well I’m surprised you’d heard of us,” Eddie scoffed. “We’ve only had one or two singles on the radio. We don’t even sell out our shows.”

“You will.”

“You have a lot of faith in us.”

“You don’t?”

��I feel like we’d do better if I still sold weed at the merch table before our gigs.” He smiled as you laughed, genuine joy radiating in his heart to see it.

“That’d get people in the door,” you agreed. You poked his cheek. "I forgot to get a t-shirt, by the way. Was too busy chasing after you like some hopeless fangirl to stop."

This was how it’d been all night. Nothing like he expected.

None of it was, actually.

It had been a whirlwind and he knew he wasn't the only one who felt like that. One day they were managing their own shit, going from state fair to state fair on their real first "tour." Then they had music on the radio and a manager and were on their way to making their first album...eventually.

Albums don't make money, Phil had said, shocking them all when Eddie had asked about it. Touring does.

They'd been offered uppers when they were tired, downers when they got too riled up. There was more money thrown around than any of them had seen their whole lives. And then there was a stern discussion where they had to decide what their future looked like and if they were in it for the long run.

They were just a bunch of guys in their 20s...and they had to decide their whole future right now.

But tonight's show was the first where he actually felt in command of the stage and not just like he was playing pretend.

He and his friends finally got their dream.

People knew them, knew their music, some people even sang along.

You hadn't even been the only one to approach them after the show.

Did they even deserve it?

"I'm just a guy from Hawkins," he whispered to you. "Waiting to wake up from this dream or for them to send me back."

Or something else. There was a lingering feeling that there was just something else waiting for the penny to drop.

Eddie continued spilling his soul to you, in hushed whispers across the pillows, about his hopes and fears, and before he could get to a point where he was certain he was about to cry...you crossed the distance and pressed a kiss to his lips.

It could have been a shut up, you talk too much kind of kiss, but there was something so soothing about it, about the way you caressed his cheek and dropped tiny pecks against his mouth when all was said and done. Two kindred spirits, finding their way to each other in a mess of uncertainty.

"The future is scary," you told him. "But you have to be ok with the choices that you make."

"Do you have any regrets?" he asked.

"Maybe. But then I wouldn't have gotten to meet you." You looked bashful for a second and then rubbed a hand over your face. "Yeah. The rockstar and the pornstar...definitely power couple material."

"We could be. They could write stories about us one day."

"Eddie, it's a one-night stand."

"Doesn't have to be."

"And who is this they you speak of."

"Our adoring fans."

"Uh huh." You snorted. "You have to buy me dinner first before we have some epic love story worthy of stories written about us."

Eddie just smiled.

"How about breakfast?"

[macdenlover]

i’ve been thinking a lot about dee’s sexuality compared to dennis’s and I wanted to reblog this post with my thoughts but it would end up a being like a mile long so I’m dumping it here!

lesbian dee is probably one of the more “far fetched” headcanons i have (in the sense that dee hasn’t canonically shown interest in women at all) but i think it’s still a fun idea to explore because it doesn’t really take away from or water down anything previously established about her in canon and narratively it still draws from the intention of her character.

the crux of dennis’s and dee’s characters boil down to chasing a sense of power to repair the damage left from the emotional neglect in their childhoods— dennis obsessively trying to reach a distorted internal image of perfection, and dee constantly seeking out some sort of external approval. her relationships with men have always been shallow and fruitless, mostly just a series of one night stands to stroke her ego, kind of like dennis. the difference is dennis’s string of one night stands are way more about the journey than the destination than they are for dee. he gets off on the foreplay and the success of his own slimy methodology— it’s a different itch to scratch than the validation that dee craves, this lifelong desire to be wanted by someone even if she doesn’t want them back.

it’s also impossible to ignore the gender roles of it all. dennis and dee parallel each other a whole lot but it can never really be a 1 for 1 comparison. there is no direct parallel you can make for a character like dee, in her circumstance as a woman constantly surrounded by men who’ve been belittling her her entire life, who then desperately winds up craving approval from men in the form of sex. I think viewing it through the lens of comphet adds suchhh an interesting layer to it. would i love to see her canonically hook up with a womanthe waitress? of course. is it ever gonna happen on the show? probably not god please please please please i’m going to beg 8000 times.

now as for dennis. i firmly hc that he’s bi/unlabeled (in the sense that he’s bisexual but he thinks he’s too special to call himself bisexual).

he’s always had a more complicated relationship with queerness as an identity than he has with homosexuality itself, considering how weird he was about mac coming out, and the big speech he gave above mac’s obsession with labels. but he seems to be perfectly fine openly admitting he has a system to attract men and how much he loves putting his balls in dudes’ mouths. he’s not in denial about his attraction to men the way mac was, and i don’t think he’s had any reason to pretend to be sexually attracted to women if he wasn’t. he doesn’t value the respect of women enough for that, he’s really just in it for the puss.

speaking of which, something i think a lot of people forget about/ignore when analyzing these characters is the fact that they’re meant to be puppets for the show’s satire. the choices they make with these characters is meant to say something about the world, so i think viewing a character who’s primary traits surround his predatory behavior toward women as secretly gay just ends up saying the wrong thing?

ultimately it boils down to how much of the show’s intentions you factor into the way you see these characters but my general rule of thumb has been having as much fun as i can without disrupting the canon :)

[watchfuldeer]

the thing about tom and greg is that yes, the nero and sporus scene in 3.04 for instance is homoerotic, tragic and heartbreaking, yes it says a lot about tom’s neuroticism/his unhappiness in his marriage/queerness, and greg’s ability to fend for himself/ability to see tom for who he really is etc but it is also one of the funniest and strangest scenes in the entire show.

tom and greg’s subplots have always been a vital component of succession - their dramatic function being primarily comedic does not make them inessential. this is after all a show that was developed by a comedic writer, who is also the showrunner, and is written by a core group of people who have long careers in comedy and satire. some of their finest work across the seasons has been with tom and greg, who are an incredibly popular aspect of the show for that reason.

i really love kendall, roman and shiv but while they quip and squabble and lie to each other and grieve, they don’t have the comedic truth of a dynamic like tom and greg. comic relief does not mean some inconsequential sidebar on succession (i would argue that it rarely does in anything, but that’s a different post), it’s necessary to the plot. it’s where the big dramatic themes are played with and mirrored, made absurd, even whimsical, and above all honest.

having to stuff so much plot into season 4 now logan has gone has absolutely decimated the show’s internal structure. not because they haven’t written subplots, we know they exist, but because they simply don’t have space to include them. succession used to be many things, and for three episodes now has been mostly one thing, because there is no time for B plot - it’s all A plot, all the time. it feels weighed down, as opposed to mercurial - like, i was just getting bored last episode. i was bored during a succession episode! we the audience need relief: it enhances the A plot significantly and always has done. now, it’s getting cut for time and without it the show is suffering. the shift in editing has made the drama mawkish, and the comedy insubstantial, neither of which are particularly enjoyable effects.

i’m really, really hoping they can find that equilibrium for these last four episodes. this post might sound overly critical, but i am still enjoying succession. i’m more frustrated by post production decisions, as it just feels like a different show in ways that seem to be a product of foiled writing ambition and time constraints rather than actual creative intent.

[riacte]

Re: popularity and clout gap, this thought has been lurking at the back of my mind but it didn’t hit me until a friend pointed out it was like how some parts of the audience used to treat hermits in MCC. As in: the hermits could achieve something technically amazing but were ignored simply because they weren’t popular (see False’s back to back win being ignored post MCC12) when the exact same achievement would cause them to lose their minds if it was done by someone who was more “popular”.

Post Demise 2, I joked this was like Blue Bats over again in which False (and Ren) won with the power of friendship in a wholesome storyline yet some parts of the audience chose to be salty their fave didn’t win instead. Sometimes you can see such a severe cognitive dissonance because people watch different hermits. Like that post on Reddit innocuously asking about Perry when I’d seen him around for weeks now and people pointed out Perry had been featured in the Neighbourhood’s videos for a while. (Nothing wrong with the post but it shows how vastly different the viewing experience is.)

It’s kind of like we’re back to 2020/21 era esque “hermit erasure” but it’s (unintentionally) done by some hermit fans. Okay, actually I’ll erase the unintentionally. Plenty of people only watch a few hermits and I emphasise that is fine and you can do anything you want forever. Enjoy HC in any way you like. Be free. The problem only surfaces when people pretend their corner is the only corner that exists and everyone else are the side characters. Like, it’s really fine to admit you don’t know everything. Someone on the MCC Reddit tried making teams and admitted they didn’t know the hermits well but somehow their teams ended up being more hermit accurate than most teams I’ve seen.

This situating done by some parts of the audience of some hermits as “main” and some hermits as “side” to the whole production of Hermitcraft makes me think of 2020/21 MCC again. In which people were discussing protagonists and villains and cannon fodder. Which was why I wrote Battle Scars, a parody / satire / sincere piece of work / whatever, to show that my faves (Blue Bats) could be the protagonists too. And it feels like I’m back. Scrambling to script my faves as characters worthy to have their stories told. Why are we back again.

And why does it lowkey feel worse because this is happening within the same fandom.

… And now I realise that’s also part of why I wrote Feel It Still, another crack treated seriously fic. Because it’s a Superhero AU proudly situating my faves in the lead roles based on canon stuff, while the typical protagonists of Superhero AUs in this fandom are delegated to side characters and are the trainees under a main hero. It’s this sort of twisting of canon that I keep on (subconsciously) doing, attempting to give some sort of spotlight to my faves by mimicking / parodying fandom trends and tropes, trying to make them more palatable and spread propaganda or whatever.

Tldr: it feels like we’re back to “hermit erasure” era and there’s a lot of fanon attention on a few. And you just know certain events would receive significant more attention if they were done by the popular hermits instead of the less popular ones. But it’s mostly crickets outside my circle and the people that I know of. Like hey yeah this is someone I know from chat and someone I know from Twitter. And I know about “being the change you want to see” and “make stuff you want to see” and “promote your faves”. I know. We all know.

It just gets tiring sometimes.

In the end, a number’s game is a number’s game.

[luffyvace]

Hello first of all- Omg my new fav author I LOVE UR WRITING SM LIKE ???? APBDISBRQKOZ

I found your blog form the author!Reader the anon who ask haz a creative mind I loved the 2 post sm I already got addicted to it I hope u Dont mind me requesting sm form it

Imagine Kusuo getting a notification (he seems like the one has his phone on dnd but has his notification open for his s/o in all media) of her post sm in one of there public social platform saying "I'm turning into my emo phase if this writer block doesn't move on form me " and when checking her private acc (the it's only access for him and her older friend) she is all memes about her writer block and her saying "if I stop writing I give all my books and series to you my friend" just her and overreacting to her block writer

Hiii!! THANK YOU CUTIE!! It always makes me so happy to hear I can share my hobbies with others <3 ahhh I see! Of course I don’t mind dear :)

ohh so if I’m getting this right it’s Saiki finding readers second blog (in which she mostly posts unserious stuff about her writers block) I believe I get what ya mean :}

*･..°•*:.｡:3･.｡.:*･..*°.･

Lol if feel like almost every writer has they’re side blogs or blog where they not a writer they just read other’s stuff

and to me this blog seems like a kinda funny vent blog where reader can just complain about her writers block whenever she has it

LOL imagine going inactive on that acc for weeks and saiki’s wondering if you forgot about it or forgot the password but you just simply have had a lot of motivation lately

then all the sudden you come back and your rebloging all types of relatable author memes and making posts about how ‘your going emo because you have writers block’

honestly it’s kinda ironic to him

he likes your posts on both accounts to support even when your do have writers block

cuz who’s likes a guy who ups and leaves when you don’t have motivation?

the first time you threatened to give your books away he knew you were joking but at the same time he was like ‘wait don’t give all your books away they can’t write it as well as you can 😀’

’kusuo I’m joking’

🧍

‘me too I knew that’

(“Thank goodness..her books were the only thing keeping me sane from those nuisances..”)

- In Saiki’s head

he doesn’t get all the writer memes bc he’s not an author, obviously he’s not stupid so he does find some funny

i feel he doesn’t post on social media but if a post of yours does particularly good he’ll repost it

i think I touched up on him being supportive before but yeah I’m gonna say it it again bc it truly is an honorable mention

‘(Name/pen name) has posted!’

- notification

👆💥📲

- Saiki

the emoji combo was terrible but basically that’s him about to break his screen from how hard he clicked

he’s always the first one on your posts and interacts every way possible

except comments..

which sucks cuz it boosts it a lot but he just doesn’t interact online 😭

if it’s a social media where you can see who liked, aiura and torisuka always tease Saiki for being the first like every time

“Dang your a real simp huh? Your the first like on her every post!”

- Aiura

”MAN! You don’t miss a beat do ya Saiki? I can never beat you to it 😭”

- Toritsuka

“wow..you beat me once again. The second the notification pops up you’ve already liked, reblogged and shared before I can even click on it. That’s impressive I must say, but it’s also quite annoying because I would like to be the first one to support (name) one day. In fact you do everything first! You get the books before they publish! You like all her posts first! Satire or not too!- yadda yadda yadda..”

- Akechi

“you don’t even respond to me that fast! Sometimes you leave me on read or delivered for 2 days before you answer me”

- Kaido

Saiki also sees that your friend likes your second acc too

which he would figure since you two are close

ehehe..a bit short dearest but I hope it brings you joy regardless~ 😅💞

I have much to get out..need to be more active..

[waxingrunes]

I’m seeing too much of this across all channels and I need to write a little something on my humble blog with my humble amount of followers, because how else am I going to get this off my chest.

Some of you need to remember that this whole world we created is pure, fiction. It’s based off fiction and we are building off fiction, forking off in different directions with characters we love.

The canon vs fanon debate is ongoing and quite honestly, mind numbingly pointless and you all consistently contradict and overlap one another with whatever discourse you’re riding that week. You lot wanna argue a point by saying, “these are my hc’s and I can do what I like with them stop taking everything so seriously teeheehehehe” then uno reverse that the next minute by screaming, “that would never happen *insert name* is this or is that” but fuck canon right? Fuck JKR? Or is it more, fuck the parts of canon I don’t like and I’ll take the parts I do so I can shove them down the throats of creators who represent these characters in an opposing light. The amount of posts I’ve seen floating around these sites that are people preaching to their audiences about how dumb they are (unless it’s meant to be satire, I’m not a brainless sensitive lump with no humour bone) for liking certain things, or enjoying certain things, or preferring certain aspects in a character is astounding. Take pause before jumping on your high horse over a fictional character and shaming people for moulding them into what they enjoy. Is this not the beauty of fiction, imagination; the ability to twist and turn over different traits and appearances within our palms and make them into our own little dress up dolls?

Here’s my two cents as a WOLFSTAR artist, not a Marauders— if I want to make Sirius into a teacup and Remus into a sea slug and have him curl up to sleep every night in his bowl, then I’ll do that with fine china detail. If I want to make Sirius someone who refuses to wear nothing but a specific shade of tangerine and Velcro strapped trainers, I will. One day I might throw Moony into a boxing ring and have him be a middleweight champion, stained by the blood of his opponent whilst his wolf is chomping at the bit to come out just before the full moon threatens to take centre stage. If I want to make Sirius 6ft tall and Remus 5ft1, I will. Why not draw an AU of them as the rocks from Everything, Everywhere All At Once? Maybe, they can be something as simple as a boy and a boy who look the way you want them to look, fuck the way you want them to fuck and fall in love and fight, and scream, and cry, and make up a million different ways.

Let’s get more specific as the seal’s broken. Why not make Remus plus sized and give him a beard or a dad’s bod at age 23. Or maybe because he’s lighter haired he doesn’t have dark hair like that and only has a smattering of it across the ugliest of his scars. Consider this— moony with softer hips but fuller sturdy shoulders. Or long, slender limbs with a deceptively hidden strength owing to his wolf, stronger than James though he doesn’t look it. Onto Sirius, try to tell me I’m not going to put him in thigh highs and fem the shit out of him whilst he holds a bat in one hand covered in the blood of someone who tried to disrespect his Moons. Alert the press when someone erases every single one of his tattoos only to replace them with hyperpigmentation. What about giving him a beater’s build and a long thick trail of naval hair that he likes to call his ‘seeker’s delight’. What about a hairless Sirius who has a soft life and likes to make herself pretty for her 6ft 4 boyfriend every weekend when he gets on the train to visit.

How about, I stick with my personal holy take on the boys and present you with a harmless middle ground where Moony is whatever the fuck I want him to be physically, emotionally, or characteristically but always a wet fucking cloth for Sirius. A grape, under a thumb, you could say. And a Sirius, who is too whatever I want him to be physically, emotionally, or characteristically but will always be Moony’s biggest cheerleader.

Stay with me whilst I offer you the brain stretching, risky, taboo thought for you to ponder on: stop trying to please people. Stop absorbing all these takes that pressure you into thinking you’ve got to include every fucking thing that shaves you down and boxes you into their squeaky clean little creator! Indulge in what you like. Make it public, make it known and make it as loud as you want. Feels good on this side of freedom.

Lastly, quick (none of this has been quick) circle back to myself being a Wolfstar artist, not a Marauders one. I will not be shamed into drawing the women in this fandom, I will not try to even out my art with equal parts women and men, in fear of being called misogynistic. I came here for Wolfstar and I stay for them; I get 95% of my muse from them and enjoy drawing these idiots nearly every single day when I can. I’ve a busy life, a job, the luxury of a family that love me and a couple friends I’d like to keep too. If and when I draw, it’s going to be what I want to draw and want to indulge in, not to check off your boxes of inclusion. I am not going to defend my choice of indulgence to you. I am not going to refute women or wlw ships and in fact, eat up stories or art where they’re prominent. Will I have muse or will to do a piece on them? Probably not. If I do, I will and if it’s not done to a standard deemed appropriate enough by the council, well shit I hope I get an honourable mention in one of your hate threads on Twitter.

Grow up. I am the type of person who has a more or less rigid taste on these boys and what I, enjoy representing them like and you runts will run your throats hoarse before I turn an ear. I am not the type of person to see someone who doesn’t like what I prefer and start slamming my keyboard and slap them with a red card. I’ll move on but appreciate the take in silence. Some of you really, come across like you’re stomping your feet in a tantrum, some of you sound like you’ve never been told to shut the fuck up a day in your life and some of you, some of you, really think you’re a messiah.

Fuck your canons, fanons and righteous attitudes towards people who are quite literally, not real. You are not a deity of the Marauders, you are a fucking loser offline just like the rest of us.

[lacyscabinet]

mean!dom!lottienat x bratty reader with aftercare, you can choose the plot!!

A/N: dear anon, this is definitely not what you asked for im sorry, don't come at me, or at least not ONLY at me because in fact, this is a collab with @lottienatswife:) go follow her lolllll, craziest collab ever. We are not smut writers and this is personally my first smut ever lol, we just decided to have fun with it!!!

Also this is pretty long :)

THIS IS SATIRE (maybe)

hope you'll enjoy either way :) (Marina if you see this go away this is not for you, this post is Marina DNI)

TW: smut, lots weird stuff, quirky seggs, tentacles are mentioned, dildo attacks girl's face, toys and ropes :)

Night at Lottie's

“Where are you parents again? On a business trip” Nat asked from Lottie’s bed, Wannabe by the Spice Girls played in the bedroom, Natalie didn’t exactly enjoy that but whatever made her princess happy.

“They are at a funeral actually” Lottie answered from her spot in a rocking chair near the bed, lately she has been getting into reading, the current book she’s reading? Poems of Sappho, she told you and Nat multiple times that she would’ve loved to join a book club, if only those were real…

Nat frowned but before she could say anything Lottie continued “Uncle Joe passed away last night”.

After her affirmation Nat moved from the bed and got closer to Lottie, placing a hand on her knee “I’m so sorry Lottie…was it a peaceful death at least?”

“He was actually eaten alive by a dolphin-” Lottie couldn’t even finish her sentence, suddenly interrupted by the door slamming open, you were running for no apparent reason, maybe the writers just need a narrative expedient to make you end up sprawled on the bed…or maybe not…who knows? I definitely don’t.

Either way, Nat’s backpack, which was conventionally thrown on the floor, made you trip and not so gracefully fall on the bed, face planted in the mattress, bum in the air, emitting a little groan.

“Eager aren’t you?” Nat exclaims and without missing a bit she gets closer to you and just like you landed on the bed her hand lands on your ass, giving it a smack.

Lottie gasps still sitting comfortably on her chair, looking intensively at your interaction with Natalie “Little sapphics” she whispers with a hint of amusement.

“Hey!” you yell at the contact of Nat’s palm with your skin, but Nat doesn’t really seem to care since she has her hands already placed on your hips, flipping you around and manhandling you until your back was against the headboard, her body straddling yours and keeping your hands in hers. And even though you felt like a barbie being tossed around by a three year old kid you actually didn’t mind at all, and while you and Nat were clearly having the time of your life Lottie opened a package of organic rice cakes and munched on it while watching attentively “It’s just like national geographic” she mumbled to herself while chewing.

Nat leaned in for a kiss and who were you to comply after all, and as the smooching got more and more heated your bodies grew sweatier and sweatier, especially your hands, making Nat falter, causing your foreheads to collide in a painful crash.

“STOP STOP STOP!!!! CUT OFF THE CAMERAS CHAD! NATALIE, Y/N ARE YOU GUYS OKAY?”

“NO!”

“OH DAMN, MHHH, 20 MINUTE BREAK EVERYONE!”

*some time later*

As Natalie straddled you, with her hands on the wooden headboard this time, Lottie, finally may I add, got up from the rocking chair placing her rice cakes on in and walking to the bed sitting down on it next to Nat who was already aiming at your shirt pulling it off with ease, revealing your bra. Natalie shifts over to look for something in the drawer, rummaging through it and pulling out a quite peculiar object out of it.

“Is it a unicorn horn?” Lottie wonders as soon as she looks at it

“I’m pretty sure it’s a dildo Lottie” you said, still laying under Natalie, your affirmation made Lottie’s eyes squint “Then why is it rainbow?”

“I don’t know maybe it’s gay” you shrugged as Natalie kissed your neck not really caring about whatever conversation was going on between the two of you, raging hormones they say.

Slowly realising the destination of the gay allegated sparkly rainbow toy Lottie’s eyes widened  "NAT! NO.... IT'S NOT BIG ENOUGH!!" Lottie yanks it out of Nat's hand, and gets out her purple- "it's not purple its heliotrope, damn I’ve told this to the production so many times and nobody listens"... heliotrope dildo... it was bigger than the rainbow one “It kinda reminds me of an octopus” you said as you looked down at the thing “Did you know that one of the tentacles of an octopus is actually it’s dick?”

“Not now Lottie please” Nat brushed her off as she started undoing your pants, pulling them off she smirked at the sight of your undies...Peppa Pig printed underwear was really something...Natalie bit her lip she took off her own pants, as did Lottie. Nat was wearing her super special underwear, pink Hello kitty underwear, Lottie on the other end showed off her spiderman (writers care to specify it’s PS game spiderman) panties.

"So…my little gold digger…” 

“Lottie, leave the dirty talk to me please-”

“SHUT UP...can I tie you up??" You look at Lottie... and shake your head, you already knew what was going to happen, she did it all the time, and you needed money for that one dinosaur pillow. As expected Lottie groaned and pulled out  her wallet which was conventionally already on the bed "I'll pay you"

 "deal..!" You happily take the money shoving it inside Nat’s bra “Keep it safe baby” you gave her breasts a pat pat “Since when are my knockers a piggy bank” she mumbled but neither you or Lottie paid too much attention to that.

Lottie had already taken out the purple…no wait…heliotrope ropes she kept stored in a small box and tied your wrists up to the bedpost. So now that you’re stuck like a worm on a hook Nat and Lottie exchange a knowing look, as Natalie adjusts a harness to her hips

“Kinda looks like a bricklayer's belt”

“Shut up” 

Then she immediately pulls off your panties and once they are discarded she lays her chin on the mattress to see your core "....mmph…" Nat hums in satisfaction once she sees the faucet was left running “While Lottie’s parents cry at the funeral I make this pussy cry” 

“HEY UNCLE JOE WAS-” “DON’T THINK ABOUT UNCLE JOE RIGHT NOW LOTTIE” 

Suddenly Lottie shoves Nat away, taking her turn to stare at you. Determined, Nat pushed Lottie down the bed, gracefully slapping her face with the glittery gay dildo, and just like that, after she regained her spot on top of you, the object found its home…once again.

After a couple of small thrusts Natalie really started going at it and you started moaning, in that exact moment, jealousy creeped inside Lottie and once again Nat was shoved away, this time ruthlessly shoved down the bed and onto the floor. Taking Nat’s out of you so she could insert the heliotrope toy. Your faucet kept running, until it broke and Lottie cheered, she broke it first.. and Natalie groaned still on the floor, annoyed.

Lottie carefully unties your wrists, placing little kisses on the small bruises the ropes caused.  "You want shoulder rubs?" Lottie asked, while pulling you on her chest to let you rest your back against her breasts "What about pussy rubs?" Nat smirked.

Before you could answer, Lottie shoved a rice cake in your mouth as Nat just groaned, unbuckling her harness and throwing it aside. 

Lottie pampered you with little kisses on the top of your head while she rubbed both your shoulders and neck, slowly, Nat crawled back on the bed, giving a kiss to both you and Lottie, hugging the two of you and laying her head on your shoulder.

*later that night*

“Y/N? Are you still awake?”

“Yeah”

 "I never got to fiddle with your riddle”

“Technically you-”

“LOTTIE ROBBED THE GLORY!!!" 

If you've reached the end, here's your throphy 🏆

[luckytidbit]

Food for thought.

Ok so I've seen an anonymous ask on someone’s blog recently about people being rude in the unwind community, (which first of all, if you’re being rude, shame on you.) I've seen mention of, actually no I’ll take it verbatim. “I like scrolled by multiple of peoples posts and fics about like theories and stuff, and most of them have people getting mad over them or feeling the need to prove it wrong? Like I get it, but it's just an idea 😭”  This community is pretty small and I haven’t seen any other unwind theory posts lately (Unless this person is talking about ao3, I’m not on there.), so I’m left to assume this ask is about the “Connor’s brain coping after his unwinding theory.” And the reblog I left on it, so let’s break that down shall we?

Personally, I grew up on Film and Game Theory so I’ve never seen debunking a theory as something that’s rude, just a part of a community helping another have the correct facts. Which by the way, @korokeea, if I’ve upset you, I am deeply sorry, it was never my intention to do so. My reblog was supposed to be seen as playful banter. (Side note, dream endings are very amateur, don’t do them unless you know what you’re doing. Even I wouldn’t do them, (I think I’m amateur anyway <:D.))

Also wanted to add that I should be using tone indicators, and that also I’ve seen examples of people whose first language isn’t English not understanding Western satire, so my apologies if I’ve confused you.

Now that I’ve addressed the main point, there was also something else I wanted to bring up.

This is obviously a parody of LIVE SLUG REACTION I used to add to my reblogs of Conland content (Connor x Roland), I also might have confused people doing this. I don’t think Conland is anyone’s cup of tea, personally, I see it as a crack ship that lives rent-free in my head, but I can understand how I could’ve confused someone. I honestly do like A Dog With A Bird At Your Door A Lot, even if the notes say “I hate gay people.” (Like, C’mon now Kuromi.)

Honestly, I came here to create art and not be judged for it, I have one to two irl friends that I see almost daily. The rest of it are just classmates that will turn on me the moment I say something that doesn’t fit their dialogue. (If you get what I’m saying, I have to say the right thing or they’ll look at me funny.) I’m honestly super stressed and pretty prone to anxiety right now, graduation, prom, removal of wisdom teeth via going under (anaesthesia), you name it! So you can see why I find a great sense of escapism in Tumblr.

Lastly, I wanted to say that in this community it is almost impossible to create micro-communities because of our small size. You CANNOT be vague or make inside jokes because almost everyone follows each other. On the original ask post that I first talked about, the responder mentioned a “that one guy” and my poor mutual @bopeisdope thought they could be that one guy. (Which is completely wrong, she and @lazysailor are the sweetest people I have ever met here. Oof sorry side tangent.)

Anyway If you made it through this thing, thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

[the1975attheirverybest]

A rant on BRAT, tumblr, and pop culture from a certified grandma.

*this is not an invitation to start drama I WILL block you if you engage in bad faith.*

I’m going to resist the urge to turn this thing into a “think piece” so I’ll get right into it.

I have noticed a trend (see here and here) of people not giving much thought to what Charli’s music is about (not these specific anons just people in general) and it seems to go hand in hand with others still criticizing her for making “catchy club music” and her lyrics being “not deep enough.” From these attitudes there’s been an even more mistaken one that claims the album “glorifies drug use.” I want to point out that I find this especially disappointing coming from 1975 fans because making pop songs that have dark, deep, “real” meanings is the signature move of a 1975 track. So, I have to ask why we afford Matty Healy the opportunity to be vulnerable and smart (even to the point where we laugh — as we should, mind you— at people who think looking for somebody to love or It’s Not Living are about love) but we don’t do the same for Charli? Could it, perhaps, be internalized sexism?

Matty and Charli, while being very different in some respects, have A LOT in common artistically. They’re both into satire and performance (Charli has spoken a lot about how the “brat” persona is a projection born of insecurity), she makes dancey songs that are about parasocial relationships, inter-generational trauma, being a woman in her industry and under capitalism in general, stereotypical expectations of female artistry, being a woman and having to contend with child-baring and what you think of your family life, what love looks like, etc. and yet we want to reduce her mentions of club culture into “glorifying drugs.” Or “mean girl aesthetic.” I mean, she sings in Sympathy is a Knife about how it’s in her head and that she’s conditioned to feel pitted against women who are different from her just because of the nature of how women are socialized and people still only view her as a hater.

Moreover, I think seeing the brat movement as a celebration of pathological drug use is narrow minded. If you don’t understand the appeal or feel it, that’s one thing. But to say that’s the albums fault is just plainly and objectively wrong. “BRAT” is clearly more about the mindset and the approach that she has to femininity. Which is why you see lots and lots of posts online about being a brat who has hobbies like knitting and reading, never going to the club, going to bed at 9 pm (myself included in this category. I relate to SO MUCH of her stuff and I’m introverted to a fault. I need to be on medication in order to go out).

The real reason that this album has blown up in the say that it has is (not because it’s one dimensional and only appeals to dance-inclined folks; not because it romanticizes drugs; not because it encourages hatred) because it’s authentic and vulnerable. You don’t need to be into club culture or anything in order to underage or connect with aspects of the record. That’s how you gain mainstream appeal. When the work is well done and there’s thought behind it, it’s likely to gain an audience.

You don’t have to like it. But you can’t put that on the album.

[fandomsoda]

I have just learned that someone very important in the Xvials community has been forced to stop posting about the ship due to the harassment they are receiving.

Needless to say, I am absolutely livid about this, not only for losing someone important in a small community of mine, but absolutely disgusted that people would harass someone over a ship that DOESN’T HAVE ANYTHING FUCKING WRONG WITH IT.

Harassment is already wrong obviously I shouldn’t have to say that, but it’s ten times worse when the reason behind it isn’t even fucking valid. Even if it were, harassment doesn’t work and only causes people to either double down or become emotionally unstable and puts them in danger. Harassment is never the answer in these times.

So here’s everyone’s (un)friendly reminder that Xvials is not problematic, Xvials is not pro/ship, a lot of people just have very weird views of how the multiverse works and haven’t refreshed themselves on X-Tale in a while and let their hatred of XGaster get out of hand. It’s totally fine not to like it, but don’t lie about it.

I’m gonna quickfire debunk the primary claims I’ve been seeing surrounding Xvials, btw for those out of the know, Xvials is XGaster x Ink, sometimes romantic but usually queerplatonic or some other abstract case. Let’s get started-

argument #1: “Ink’s adoptive dads are Gasters, so him being with a Gaster is pseudo-incest!”

Alright this alone to me is just ridiculous because like, actually think about that for a second, this is implying that every single Gaster in the whole multiverse is somehow related to Ink and that he can’t have unique relationships with them and I hope that everyone can recognize that the concept alone is absurd.

argument #2: “It’s abusive! They’re just using each other! XGaster actually hates Ink!”

Did we watch the same show? Because I don’t think we did, since in X-Tale their bond is repeatedly displayed and in Underverse it’s reinforced, with tons of extra things Jakei has posted emphasizing their bond. May I remind everyone of “come back”, this teaser Jakei showed depicting XGaster being actively afraid of losing Ink? Keep in mind how Ink is shown in a bright, important light here? He’s clearly afraid of losing him, they’re genuine friends, it’s not just for his own motives, and XGaster never treats Ink poorly, other than leaving him in the dark about things that I doubt he’s intentionally hiding from him, simply not thinking Ink would need/want to know. Like I said: totally fine if it’s not your thing or you don’t like it, but don’t fucking lie.

argument #3: “They’re both aroace!”

True, however that makes it even more likely for them to have a unique bond and understanding of each other than with others, definitely not romantic but as I said before, Xvials isn’t primarily romantic and all romantic depictions are fully recognized as fanon, if they appear at all. Also when I talk about them having a special and unique bond, that’s addressed in a canon comic, remember this from back in June? A lot of the time, the two being aroace is actually a very important component of Xvials portrayals. Especially in my case, since the way I think of them is very much hazy and queerplatonic, like all my ships with Ink.

argument #4 (this is going to sound satirical but I’m not even kidding, I saw someone say this): “It’s pseudo-pedophilic because Ink is very short and acts younger while XGaster is tall and acts mature!”

I… am at a loss for words. Take a look at that, think about what you just said, and go touch grass. Obviously, Ink and XGaster are both full grown adults with somewhat ethereal ages, no one here is a child, and labeling Ink as child-like comes off as very ableist for a number of reasons. Ink can definitely be childish, any character can, but that doesn’t make them “child coded”.

ok, that was a lot, but I just needed to get that off my chest, I… yeah. I think y’all get it. Good day.

[ct-multifandom]

I don’t know if this is a controversial hot take or something a lot of people feel, but I’m tired of hearing people unironically describe Ace Attorney as being “about gay lawyers”. Because it’s not. Do the lawyers act gay? Yes. But that’s not what 99% of the playtime is about.

At the end of the day, Ace Attorney is a satirical story about the corrupt justice system in Japan as represented by a kind-hearted defense attorney protecting (mostly) innocent defendants from having their lives ruined by misguided prosecutors. Its goal was to flip the cultural narrative that defense attorneys are trashy scum who make money off of sympathizing with criminals. And they did this through episodic, goofy murder mysteries.

So where does the gay come in? They wrote some accidentally romantically-charged dialogue, fans were obsessed, and the writers decided, yeah it’s pretty good, let’s do more of that. So they proceeded to toss in more gay side-banter and whatnot amongst the homicide investigations and court sessions.

Now, it’s not like Ace Attorney is the deepest, most poetic social commentary ever written, but it still has a meaningful theme inspired by a real life issue, so it’s pretty discouraging seeing people either not process it or straight up ignore it in favor of “the gay lawyers”. And that’s not even getting into all the other meaningful, non-romantic character relationships that have way more presence in the plot.

I know there will always be uncritical, shipping-brained people in every fandom, but what gets me about how bad it is here is that people who only know as much about AA as what they’ve heard really think it’s “about gay lawyers”. I was watching Drawfee recently, and genuinely all they know about the games is contextualized by Karina’s gay lawyer ship art and brief plot description of how gay the lawyers are. My friend recently told my other friend that Ace Attorney is about gay lawyers to which he was like oh yeah I heard about the unnecessary feelings scene. This is all he knows about the games.

I don’t want to make this sound like a bigger deal than it is, but damn. It truly feels like a lot of people refuse to engage with media in any way that doesn’t involve smashing male characters together like dolls. If you comb through the entirety of the Ace Attorney franchise, you’ll see that such a small fragment of everything that happens is homosexual law, yet that’s the thing that gets amplified to ridiculous proportions. All I can do for now is focus on the posts from fans that love the games themselves just as much if not more than they love the ships.

[vergeltvng]

Thanks for reading my guidelines. I go by the mun-alias Midnight (she/they), early millennial, living in the CET timezone. English is my second language. My activity level is medium to low, my reply speed is slow, please don’t rush me. I'm still learning about Tumblr rp etiquette and guidelines, please be patient with me. If you see me doing something unusal or weird feel free to correct me at anytime but be respectful about it.

01. GENERAL BLOG INFO. Besides being a roleplayer I am also a hobby gif maker, therefore personal blogs are welcome to interact with my posts. Basic Tumblr etiquette applies: Don't steal, repost or edit my gifs. If you want to insert a single gif into one of your posts please use the gif search function. If you are a personal blog make sure you don't reblog or comment on rp content which includes tag games, writing examples, headcanons, threads and answered asks. Speaking of asks: I will generally react in-character whenever possible but I am not an IC ask blog.

02. DISCLAIMER AND CONTENT WARNING. To interact with me, you have to be 18+ (personals and rp blogs, mun and muse). I am not affiliated with The Boys, its creators or the actor Karl Urban and I don't own the character Billy Butcher. I claim ownership of my own written headcanons and texts only. The Boys is an R-rated series and this is a general trigger warning for mature content such as — strong language, graphic violence and gore, physical and mental abuse, mention of sa, mention of child abuse, alcohol addiction, mental illness, terminal illness, trauma, sexual content, weapons, drug use, political and social commentary, sick humour, satire and overall rude behaviour which can be expected from this muse.

03. MUN ≠ MUSE. It should go without saying but at the same time cannot be stressed enough. This is a morally grey/villainous character. If you are easily offended we're likely not matching well as writing partners. Butcher can be tremendously rude and aggressive, he swears excessively and is quick to insult your muse if he dislikes them or feels provoked. Make sure beforehand that you can handle interacting with such a muse and do not take anything from him personal or too serious. If we started interacting and, for any reason, you feel discomfort please communicate it. I’m always willing to take a step back and sort things out.

04. INTERACTIONS. Best way to interact with me is novel-style written text from the get-go. It doesn't have to be long, it's just way easier for me to reply to than ic talk. I usually drop smalltalk after one or two messages or won't reply at all, I'm sorry. For long-term text exchanges I prefer sideblogs over Google Docs since I'm not familiar with the latter (I'm willing to learn though if that's your preferred option). I'm also very open and curious to try threads, I'd love to have some writing on my blog. Feel free to hit me up if you're interested and are comfortable with doing any sorts of public threads.

05. WRITING. No godmodding, power play or meta gaming. I also don't like forcing or rushing certain dynamics that don't feel like natural character progression. Plotting beforehand is welcome but not mandatory. If it ever feels like being stuck we can pause the writing and have a small plotting session between scenes or even for the same scene. I am a big fan of the "yes, and" approach, give me something to work with. I don't have an estimated length for texts, it always depends.

06. FORMATTING. I don't do a lot of formatting. I have an icon border and prefer small font, my writing is usually continuous text with no line breaks for dialogue. Let me know if this is difficult to read for you and I will adjust, no questions asked. Generally, feel free to format your text as you wish but here are some things I have issues with: Excessive spacing between words (triple space and higher), excessive bolding or italicizing to a point where it distracts me; all caps, text from font generators (captions and highlighted phrases are perfectly fine but I can't read a whole text in those fonts).

07. SHIPPING. I'm multiship and multiverse, meaning every ship takes place in its own verse if not communicated otherwise. I personally enjoy shipping a lot if there's good chemistry but Butcher is difficult to ship and due to his background pretty much unavailable for romantic bonding. It's not impossible though. I'm also interested in any setting where I get a chance to write him as an unhinged villain and diverge from the canon more liberately.

08. FOLLOWING. My approach to curating my dashboard is quite different, I would say, compared to what's considered standard. I follow a lot, and I mean a shitton, of people (4500+ blogs as of August 2024). I follow every blog out of interest and curiousity but please understand that it's impossible for me to interact with everyone. Don't get offended or take it personal when I follow and don't reach out and also never feel obligated to follow me back. If you softblocked me in the past and I refollow you it's accidentially. Please hardblock me if you don't want that to happen again, I won't take it personal.

09. ACTIVITY. My blog is labeled low activity for a reason. Yes, I am here for rp, but I like to do lots of other things on Tumblr, too. There's periods of time where I don't have the energy to work on drafts or talk to anyone. Rest assured that you never did anything wrong when I disappear for a while. What I'm not willing to do is constantly giving activity updates on a schedule. I might make a post on current stats occasionally and if I go on hiatus for longer I will highly likely make a post about it.

10. DON'T BE A CUNT. I have zero tolerance for homophobia, transphobia, racism, ableism, sexism, hateful comments in general, out of character drama, gossiping, constant negativity, passive aggressiveness, vague posting, guilt tripping, gaslighting and other similar behaviour. Just be a decent person and we're fine.

[writinglittlemagics]

Forgive my poor citations for this one :[ I’m currently sitting in the nicest amphitheater I've ever been in getting ready to sing a holiday concert! Feeling a little nervous, a little silly, here’s some Freudian Analysis:

Freudian Defenses in The Main Character

“The Main Character” by Will Wood is a satirical song from the perspective of a modern self-obsessed, trope-defined egomaniac. This character is meant to embody someone who speaks without the use of their Freudian superego (see: “Look in the sky, it’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s superego!” as the character watches their superego leave them behind). This speaker utilizes several of the Freudian defense mechanisms to justify their egoic actions and attitudes towards other people. One such example is the speaker’s use of regression. When speaking about being disliked, the narrator becomes incredibly uncomfortable, saying, “Don’t come at me; I’m the main character, and you have to like me.” After this, the narrator regresses into childish villain personas to hide from their actions. One such example is Snidely Whiplash, the villain from the cartoon Rocky and Bulwinkle. This villain is a caricature of evil and is known for tying people to train tracks and twirling his mustache. The speaker is hiding behind this immature cardboard character to hide from the more severe accusations they are being confronted by. Some other such villains are Boris Badenov and “Daleks in high collars,” more foolish villain types.

Another favorite defense mechanism of our narrator is rationalization. The chorus repeats the lines, “So God forbid I’m seen just as an average human being… Don’t come at me; I’m the main character, and you have to like me.” The word “like” here can refer to both “likes” on social media and liking someone as a genuine person. Our narrator easily conflates the two. The phrase “main character energy” is famous on a lot of social media platforms as a way to announce one’s self-importance in one’s life. You are living your life; ergo, you are the main character in your own story. The narrator in this song does not have the superego to recognize that they are not the main character in everyone else’s life, and so lives deluded into thinking that they are. This is exemplified in verse two, stating, “I loot plot armor from NPC’s; Well, they are to me. Trite tropes, traits, traumas, trinkets, and treats; it’s all XP.” To translate some of the slang here, the speaker is calling other people’ Non-Playable Characters’ and deeming them worthless to his endeavors. Plot armor is a film device that describes protagonists who have to stay alive, even in dangerous situations, for the sake of the story. Stripping someone of their plot armor means that they would be expendable to the narrator if they need to gain the ‘XP’ or experience. Because the narrator believes themselves to be the main character of this larger story, mistreating other people is acceptable for the sake of “the plot.”

The final commonly used defense mechanism is denial. The narrator can comfortably live this lifestyle as long as they don’t wake up to the reality that other people are more relevant than themself. The post bridge says, “The court fool got the guillotine, the witches the stake, you the dopamine. And Siemens made the Zyklon B, but we all still get the flu.” These lines all refer to some kind of scapegoat, different groups of people who were blamed for the sake of denying more significant issues. The court fool is executed as an example, witches are burned to defend the church and deny other ideas, and a person takes dopamine to deny their depression. This narrator is a self-aggrandizing, deluded narcissist and can only continue to be this way with the use of defense mechanisms.

(Word Count: 590)

“Will Wood – the Main Character.” Genius, 29 July 2022, genius.com/Will-wood-the-main-character-lyrics.

[sadiecoocoo]

My re-watch recommendations (responding to your earlier post):

-Season 1 Ep 10 (do I need to explain myself? First EM apperance, first interaction between Morty and EM, citadel episode etc.)

-Season 3 Ep 7 (another EM character study and citadel episode)

-Season 3 Ep 8 (basically an anthology of Morty moments and interactions with his family)

-Season 4 Ep 2 (the dating app episode, might be a good plot device to use in future writing and another appearance of Morty's unhinged side + deteriorating relationship with Jerry)

-Season 5 Ep 8 (Rick's character study)

-Season 5 Ep 10 (Another EM episode)

-Season 6 Ep 10 (Lots of Smith family interactions, Rick being at his lowest, and a sprinkle of Star Wars inspired satire)

-S7 Ep 4 ("The Spaghetti Episode", I don't think this episode has much character-related stuff in it, I just like it.)

-S7 Ep 5 ("The Evil Morty Episode", my personal favourite R&M episode of all time)

-S7 Ep 6 ("Another Morty moments anthology)

-S7 Ep 10 ("The Morty Episode", the fear hole needs no introduction.)

Alright hopefully that helped narrow it down, a completely unbiased list of not at all my favourite R&M episodes.

As for my actual ask...

Why is Morty your favourite character?

Tysm for the recommendations! I’ll definitely be making a few analysis posts abt some of these later

As for why Morty is my favorite, I think it’s because there’s so much that can be done with him in the show! He’s the kid that’s innocent at first but is dragged on these mentally damaging adventures that slowly makes him see the world as a shitty place, but he still is a nice person and tries to help other ppl when he can. But I honestly claimed him as my favorite even before I actually watched the show, i don’t rlly know why tho lol it’s something that I tend to do before I get even get into a show (like Nikolai and Dazai in bsd)

Plus there’s so much that can be done with him whenever I write abt him too which is always gonna make me love a character cuz it makes my job easier lol

Honestly I don’t have a real answer to this that I’m absolutely sure of, I just rlly like his character

[woniverse-writes]

Some of my pet peeves in fanfiction (sharing this because I can and I’m bored)

these are just my opinions. If you disagree, frankly I don’t care but these are things that annoy me. I’ve read a lot of fanfiction in the last few years, so this is just what my taste has developed into. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions though, so these are just things that I PERSONALLY don’t like when reading fics.

(This is kinda long. sorry lol)

Tagging unrelated subjects

If I search something for Bada Lee, I don’t wanna see something about Jam Republic

Unless both of them are in the post, then duh

I don’t care if I like both of them, I’m searching for a specific thing so why would I want to find something else

And I mean specifically if I look up one person, and I’m met with a post for someone else, but the person I’m searching for is still tagged for no reason

I don’t care if you’re trying to get reach, I think it’s annoying

ESPECIALLY if you’re tagging someone or something that’s completely unrelated

I’ve literally blocked people for saying they do it for reach- sorry but you’re really fucking annoying

Poorly written conflict

Fight scenes coming out of nowhere especially physical fights

I just read a fic where the reader slapped the person for no reason, like- girl wtf

And another one where the person it was about showed up out of nowhere and punched this person and knocked them out because they were jealous

Like- I get it, it’s all fake, but can we be a little realistic please 😭

This one feels a little mean, but poor grammar

If it’s once every now and then it doesn’t bother me, cuz even native speakers mess up their own language

But constantly using the wrong tense or spelling of a word really makes it hard for me to immerse myself

But again that’s just me personally

Misspelling and idols name

Girl I’m sorry but how are you gonna write about someone and not know how to spell their name correctly🧍‍♀️

Google is free babe

Changing the POV every other sentence

It throws me off so bad when I’m reading and the reader is referred to as “she/he/they” and then it suddenly switches up to “you” like- just pick one and stick with it plz

And don’t even get me started me started with first person povs- I will simply not read it, I’m sorry

Rushed relationships

Especially when it comes to enemies to lovers

I hate, hate, HATE when the pairing will meet each other and then be romantically involved like a week later

Or specifically in enemies to lovers, they hate each other for three years, and then the second they show one tiny ounce of anything other than hatred, the reader has forgotten everything

Again it’s just not realistic to me and it makes it hard for me to enjoy

Fluffy language

Like- over describing things and making it try to seem so much more descriptive

Or when coming up with nicknames

Unless it’s written satirically and meant to be cringy and weird on purpose, I can’t stand it

It just makes me cringe and I literally will not finish reading

Smut written but people that have no idea what they’re talking about

If you’ve never read smut, you probably shouldn’t write smut

Unless you’ve like- had sexual experiences

I’m just really picky with smut specifically

I’ve just read (and not finished reading) so many fics written by people that are either clearly underage and trying to sound like they’re adults, or from people that sound like they’re trying too hard

I promise you- we don’t need the 12 different descriptors of how the pussy feels in one sentence

Not understanding the person/character you’re writing about

I get this more if you’re doing a request for someone and you maybe don’t know them as much

But if you’re a fan of a group or show, how are you not gonna know the person you’re writing about…

Like just missing key factors in their personality

OR

zeroing in on ONLY certain factors of their personality and throwing away the rest of it

Some big ones I notice are people not knowing how to write for Ni-ki from enhypen and Hao from zerobaseone