#if I do it right I should come back to a balanced tank and no algea 🤞

[painted-bees]

okay dirt cleaned. Rocks cleaned. Plants soaking, driftwood soaking...

Everything will be ready when the tank stand arrives! I am very excited.

ah, yes. My favorite sisyphean task of the aquarium hobby: cleaning the dirt. Because the dirt needs to be clean.

clean dirt.

[seattlesellie]

could you make bff!ellie catching you masturbating and says something like ”i can help you if youd like” bc you couldnt climax when you do it yourself

caught ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

an: pretty self explanatory. nsfw, mdni please. part one of two!

yet another droplet of salty—sweet sweat fell on your top lip. you couldn’t get there, couldn’t you? no matter how hard you tried, no matter how hard you rutted against the fabric, the position your pillow was in— folded, to the side, with the tip; you just couldn’t do it. you couldn’t cum.

a pitiful whine fell from your lips. should an unfamiliar passerby chance upon the scene, they might have assumed that you were tormented, in agony.

the bittersweet twist in your stomach was truly just a tease. almost there, almost, in a fleeting moment— vanished into thin air.

would it be wrong to say that you looked absolutely pathetic? it probably wouldn’t be, it would be nothing but the truth. with your panties hung loose around your ankles, your toes curling inside of your soft white socks, your body feverishly oscillating back and forth, then sideways, tracing circles— and then just straight up humping, it was sad.

“oh— please, please!” you mewled, better yet, cried out.

perchance, you could get there if you pulled your erect nipples, if you pinched them just right, that tormenting tension would finally dissipate. you hastily took your pajama tank top off and threw it on the floor. you pulled on the swollen buds, twisted them slightly, only to elicit a shrill cry that escaped your lips.

“mmph— god!”

you were supposed to meet ellie at 4:30pm. or was it 4:15? 4:20? you wouldn’t know. the clock was ticking, and there you were, grinding yourself helplessly against your soft pillow. tick—tock.

it’s 4:13.

4:14:

ellie knocked on your apartment door. once, then twice, and finally she pressed the buzzer. she was starving, her mouth salivating, and the scent coming from the pizza box wasn’t helping in the slightest.

she buzzed it again, and to her dismay, no answer.

“ugh, cmon” she huffed, knocking forcefully again.

what were you doing? in the bathroom? showering? you must be busy somehow, with your earphones in, maybe?

you said 4:15pm. she wasn’t very forgetful, especially when it came to you.

biting down on her bottom lip, ellie remembered there’s a spare key conveniently tucked beneath the brown “welcome!” carpet. she knows this because you told her, when she walked you home, tipsy and giggling after a night out.

“right” she mumbled, balancing the large pizza box on her left hand. she bent down, and she was right. she remembered correctly— a spare key. as ellie swung open the door, she was greeted by an empty living room.

“hello?”

she paced around. maybe you were hiding underneath the kitchen table? pulling a prank on her? you goof.

“pizzas here…” she melodically chimed.

“and i'm… here too”

she pondered the possibility of someone having broken into your apartment and kidnapping you. could that be?

ugh, ellie. quit being so dramatic.

ellie placed the pizza box right on the kitchen counter, and began walking towards your room. maybe you were napping, that sounds like a much nicer thought. when the image of you cuddled up inside a fuzzy blanket popped into her mind, she chuckled. cute.

oh how terribly wrong she was.

you pressed against your pillow, causing the bed to emit two distinct squeaks.

ellie's head swiftly turned to the side, her steps growing closer and closer to your room. so you didn’t get kidnapped... you’re in there. jumping on the bed, perhaps?

as a high-pitched whimper escaped your lips, reaching her ears as if tethered by an invisible string, her heart sank. she was dangerously close to the wooden door now.

her breath caught in her throat. you were fucking somebody.

it was muffled, but the bed creaking and the whiney sob? her head was spinning in circles, palms itching and sweaty. not only did you completely forget about your plans, you were in there— letting someone fuck you. she didn’t even know you were seeing somebody. she didn’t even know you were doing that shit and that sweet, blissful moan? she dug crescent marks onto her palms as she clenched them tightly.

it was wrong. it was painfully wrong and creepy and perverted, but ellie had to see. she had to know who you were letting inside your bed, but she wasn’t about to interrupt. all she did, was twist the doorknob carefully, the door opening far enough for her to see, but still not enough for you to notice.

oh.

oh.

with your bare back on display, and your ass squished against the pillow— ellie felt like she was going to faint. your sweet, frustrated moans filled the room and ellie blinked so many times she was having a sensory overload.

this has to be a dream, she thought. one of her crazy ones, the only ones she doesn’t tell you about. her throat felt dry, and she had to swallow hard. ellie took a shaky breath in, and she nearly groaned. you were desperate, she swore she could see a sweet droplet of sweat flowing down your back.

ellie’s first instinct was shutting the door and leaving.

for the first time in her life, ellie didn’t listen to her instincts. she stood there, mouth agape, toes curling inside of her chucks.

“pleasepleaseplease, unggh—“ that little moan was so high pitched and sweet and ellie felt dizzy, faint, awestruck. she dug her trimmed fingernails right into her jeans covered thigh and pinched. this is a dream, ellie— wake up.

“oh god!”

wake up, ellie.

you got down on your elbows, and you dragged your aching clit all over the pillow. the bed squeaked again. she could see everything, the swollen button, your tight hole and your ass—

wake up, ellie.

“fuck” she huffed, and you still couldn’t hear a thing, too busy and too in trance, poorly trying to get yourself off.

when you humped the pillow again— ellie’s own clit pumped. like a faint heartbeat, she felt a dull ache growing and growing.

she stood there; dizzy, disgusting, turned on, like a peeping tom.

she should leave. she has to leave. why can’t she leave? her feet are glued to the floor and she can’t walk, paralyzed.

she could walk out of here and pretend it never happened. she could go home, rub one out, rub it again till it hurts and then see you the next day. this could be normal, she could be normal about this, can’t she?

“fuck!” you gave up. you weren’t getting there, this wasn’t happening today. you weren’t going to cum and you had to deal with it. slowly, you steadied your breath and grabbed your phone. it was 16:24, where is she? you decided to text her.

“when are u coming over? i’m starving”

ellie’s phone buzzed in her pocket and she nearly choked. there she was, frozen, staring.

thankfully, you didn’t hear it. in fact, you couldn’t hear anything— your ears were still pumping.

ellie swiftly took her phone out of her pocket and noticed her hands were shaking, it nearly slipped out of her grip. she shouldn’t answer. she should pretend that she had forgotten, she was napping, at the gym, working on something, god knows what. she shouldn’t answer.

but she did.

“give me 20 minutes, was at the gym”

you chuckled, and when you went to scratch your chin with your shoulder, ellie thought you were turning around and she nearly collapsed.

“lol u renewed your membership?”

oh shit. she cancelled it last month. her jeans felt too tight and her face was on fire and now she had to lie, again.

“yeah”

even as she typed— she couldn’t look away. your ass was on full display and it was something she had to burn into her memory. she would never see you like this ever again.

“i don’t believe you”

oh fuck.

“send proof ellie… need to know ur not just lying and hanging out with toxic stacy again”

is it possible that she completely forgot who you were talking about? was she that delirious?

“omg wrong name lol 🩷 i meant samantha”

oh, her.

is samantha’s pussy this pretty?

oh, she’s sick.

you giggled and adjusted yourself on the pillow again. when you laid completely down, ellie’s eyes rolled back.

“i’m at the gym… not lying, weirdo”

you sighed, and ellie heard it. the fact that she could hear every single one of your reactions to her texts made her cringe but it also made her feel something she’s never felt before.

“send a gym selfie then”

you weren’t intentionally flirting. it was purely innocent on your part, just that. you needed to know she wasn’t lying. why did her stomach flip?

she knew she had to have one. she knew she had to have at least one picture of her at the gym. she must have sent something back then, maybe to cat. cat loved her blurry gym pictures, the ones she sent her with the bottom of her tank-top in between her teeth and her toned abs on full display. she found it— after two whole minutes of aimless searching and scrolling. just what she thought, her abs, slightly sweaty and glistening, her thin happy trail, and her boxers peaking out from her sweats. she sent it so fast and she didn’t even think—

you stared at your screen. fully stared. your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, why did she… that picture was… suggestive. your best friend is a weirdo and she’s also making your tummy feel like it’s being swarmed by angry bees.

“i believe u now :) see you in 20!”

ellie felt like punching herself in the face, but before she did, before she closed the door and got the hell out of there— you did something that was so unfathomable, she nearly went cross eyed. with ellie’s picture flashing on your phone, you began grinding again. the moan that fell from your lips was guttural, ravenous.

this wouldn’t even be the first time, wouldn’t it? getting off to the thought of your best friend?

this time, when the pillow met your clit again, you were wet and slimy and you seamlessly glided onto the plush fabric. you knew, deep down, that you could get there this time. if you were looking at her, at her sculpted abs with her shirt in her mouth you could actually cum. you didn't even bother thinking about it, about how wrong it is. she would never know, so what's the big deal?

this time— ellie has to wake herself up somehow. this was the sign, the only one that helped her make sure she knew that she was absolutely dreaming.

if this was, in fact, a dream— ellie would coo at you. she would walk over, ever so slowly, lift you up, help you get off of the pillow, and hold your hand. "poor thing, need my help?" when you'd nod, shed guide your body up and down and teach you just the right moves. shed take you by the waist and help you slide, suck on your nipples and look at you. occasionally— she would stop on her nibbling to mutter "all you needed to do was ask me, pretty girl"

but this isn't a dream. ellie knows this isn't a dream because she checked the time on her phone and a minute had passed and she knows it doesn't work like that in the dream realm.

would it be wrong if she slipped her hands right into her pants?

"please, ellie"

you moaned her name like you were ashamed. like you knew she was right there and she could hear you. what would you do if she was?

when ellie heard the whine of her name slip out of your mouth, her phone dropped down to the floor and hit it with a thud. for ellie, it sounded louder than a brick.

you turned around fast, you thought a vase had fallen. when you caught her gaze, because ellie couldn't. fucking. move— you weren't embarrassed. you were too mortified to be embarrassed, you screeched and you didn't speak. neither did ellie.

your lips were trembling and her hands were sweating profusely. you've never seen her look like this, she's never seen you look like this. she opened her mouth like she was going to speak, but she didn't. she stood, frozen.

you don't know when you managed to grab the blanket and wrap it around your body but you did.

she opened up her mouth again, but only a soft "ah" noise escaped from it.

"when d—did you..."

"just now" she lied.

"and you stood there f—for..." you stuttered. now, the embarrassment finally hit.

"i saw" ellie managed to speak, somehow.

she saw?

"w—what?

"i saw"

what did she see? your heart was beating fast. you’ve never felt this vulnerable, this exposed. what did she see?

you couldn’t speak. you wouldn’t dare. embarrassed, not able to make any eye contact with the green eyed girl, you stared at the floor.

“i think…” she stepped closer to you, and she kept her gaze on the floor as well.

“i can…”

another step. closer now, dangerously so.

your entire body trembled.

she looked up at you, finally.

“help”

[drgnflyteabox]

Malewife Gaz comes back from deployment desperate for his mean, office siren gf <3

MDNI / dub con-ish / public sex / overstim / anal play / grinding / Kyle is kinda gross lol I luv him / he eats it from the back :D / they're both switches / squirting

Reader works in an office, but it's not clear what she does. She does have her own private office though ;) you go girl!

You're ignoring him.

Your phone isn't turned off, it's not even on silent, but you haven't flipped it right side up despite the near constant buzzing. Kyle has been texting, calling, but you're cross at the moment and don't feel like having it out with him on a work day.

You should turn your phone off. It's distracting, and a little inappropriate to have it making so much noise even through the walls cushioning your personal office.

The thing is, it's a little gratifying that he's desperately trying to reach you. Part of it is the satisfaction that he's a little anxious and wants to make it up, and part of it is wanting him to be extra sorry when you gets home.

Kyle had been able to call you all through the past month despite being on deployment. At least twice a week, you'd be laid up in bed or tucked away on lunch in your office telling him about your day. A rare treat for someone of his vocation, and something you appreciated greatly. The expectation you always set for yourself was zero contact - something to keep you from being hurt or placing more stress on him. Truly, your workaholic tendencies made you perfect for somebody that spent so much time deployed. When he came back, he made you take a break. There was a balance.

Typically you'd get a window of time for when he'd be back home. Your favourite thing to do was to cook a British classic for the occasion, usually bangers and mash - his favourite. You always had his preferred beer too, a brand you noticed he copied from Price. So cute. Yesterday morning he'd sent you a message that he'd be home for 9pm, a little late for dinner but the boys wanted to catch up at their favourite pub before they separated.

Only last night you'd sat at the table waiting for two full hours by yourself before giving up. His meal was packed in the fridge while you'd eaten yours by yourself on the couch with a glass of wine, texts going unanswered.

The worst part wasn't that he hadn't shown up. Sometimes that happened, when missions ran long or he'd gotten too into his cups with his team. It was annoying, but your tradition was to spend the day together when he got back, and you didn't mind having breakfast with him instead. You just didn't appreciate that he didn't even call or text about it, and that in the morning you found him sprawled on the couch with just his boxers and a mess of clothing tossed on the ground from the door to the living room couch. Socks, pants, his tank top.

So, petty as you are, you go to work and forego the tradition. Ignoring him. You dressed nice, too, black stockings and as tarty as you could without getting a call from HR. He hadn't seen you leave, but you wanted to get home and remind him what he was missing.

Your office phone rang once, twice, "hello?" The secretary at the front of the building was a nice enough lady, but she rarely called you directly. "Your lunch is here - the deliveryman is just waiting."

"Deliveryman?" You say skeptically. You hadn't ordered lunch. You'd brought Kyle's leftovers.

"Yep. Should I send him up?" Though you probably know who it is, you tell her you'll be down in the lobby instead. You'd prefer to be safe than sorry, in case it isn't Kyle.

It is.

He looks like a kicked puppy, holding some kind of takeout bag in one hand and a coffee in the other. He knows you love Los Vaqueros, the little coffeeshop next door. It's probably a macadamia nut latte, your favourite.

"Babe," he starts, sounding a little rough. Probably battling a hangover. He's wearing your favourite shirt, a tight black compression shirt that shows off his tits. Grey running sweats. Oh, he's good. "Is your phone dead?"

"I've got a pretty busy day today, Kyle," you're a little snotty about it. Your hip is cocked to the side. You want him to work a little. "I was in the middle of a meeting."

"You can't be that mad at me. I brought you macadamia and a caesar wrap. Come on, baby." He shifts the bag into the same hand as the coffee, using the other to show you his palm in apology.

You peer at him a little warily. It's times like this you wish he wasn't so tall, so that you could look at him all judgemental secretary like. You settle for arching a brow and squinting. "Go away now, I'll see you at home. I better not see any dirty socks on my floor, either."

"I cleaned them this morning, I swear."

"Good. Now scram, and give me that coffee." You reach for the coffee, but he intercept and grabs your elbow. Pulling you closer. "What- kyle--" his hands slides up to your upper back, making you shiver. When you don't pull away, he grins like a schoolboy and starts steering you down the hall. "I have work -!"

"I know, baby, but I really wanna make it up to you. Let me make it up to you." He's speaking quietly as to not alert the secretary a few feet away. He's leading you to the bathroom.

"No! Kyle, I'm at work. Goddammit, I have things to do-"

"No you don't." When you've turned the corner and are out of sight, he slides his hand from your back to your ass, squeezing hard, making you squeak. "And I need you. I woke up so hard. I need your pussy." He's close to whining, tucking his face close to your ear, smelling your hair.

Your voice goes high pitched, flustered, not expecting him to try and cajole you into fucking in a public bathroom. At your workplace no less. "We can't!"

He used to do this when you first started dating; get needy, corner you in some barely secluded place and get you both off one way or another. Quick and dirty. He swore he never fucked anyone else while deployed, and if it wasn't the trust you had in him it was how desperate he seemed to get when he got back that assured you of his faithfulness. Sometimes it was your favourite, just how whiney and flustered he would get. As a treat, if he'd been very good during dinner, you'd wake him up by sucking him off the morning he got back. Surely he had missed that this morning, what with how fast he'd led you to the employee bathroom. Good.

He locks the door behind you, and you let him kiss you a little. You don't see him put your food down, but he must because both his hands squeeze your waist. You rub your thighs together to soothe the pulsing arousal building in your belly.

You hand goes to his chest, pushing him. He's so strong, it takes you slapping his chest and shoulders to move back, panting. "We can't, I'm serious. Do you want me to get fired?"

He licks his lips, not even looking you in the eye. "You won't get fired, baby. Just be quiet. Let me take care of you-" you interrupt him by grabbing his face and squeezing his cheeks hard, making his lips pucker up.

"Can you not think with your cock? Couldn't you have dropped lunch off and waited for me back home like a good boy?"

He slides his big hands down your waist to your hips, tilting his hard cock so its pressed against you. Despite you holding him, he walks you both forward until your back hits the wall and he can grind against you hard. "Kyle- I'm not kidding," you say sternly, but don't move away. His cock rubs deliciously against your mons, not quite where you want it, but a good enough tease that your breath shudders out in a moan.

"Please, please, let me," he begs, grinding. Pressing his body right up to yours. You acquiesce a little, moving your hand from his face to down his pants and into his boxers. "Hrmmn-nn fuck, fuck," he whines. Bypassing his dick, you feel him start to hump desperately, like a dog. He shudders hard and you're squashed against the wall as you palm his balls, playing with them a little. You feel wetness drip down your wrist.

"Did you just come?" Honestly, you're delighted, but you make sure your tone is disappointed. Mean. Your pussy squeezes, wets your panties a little more. "Bad boy. I thought you were going to make it up to me?"

"Oh fuck, thank you baby. I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you still. Just give me a second."

"No way. Get to work." It's easy to bully him a little when he's so fresh from his orgasm. You push him onto his knees and lift a heel to rest it on that big, muscular thigh.

Your tits feel squashed in your bra as you breathe hard, looking down at him. He pushes his forehead against your stomach, pushing your skirt up while murmuring something into the fabric. You palm yourself, pinch your own nipples through the fabric. Feeling empowered, your hand goes to his hair and you grind your panty covered pussy right on his nose.

"Go on."

He licks you through the fabric, long laps of his tongue. Sucks on where your clit is, wetting the fabric. Kyle grips your thighs and pulls them wider apart, making you teeter dangerously on one heel, the other digging into his leg. He mouths at your panties and bites gently at you while your scratch his scalp and neck.

He moans, and finally pushes your underwear down. You clench as your wetness is exposed to the air, cooling you. Your clit stands up, peeking out of your hood. He gives it a little lick, directly on the underside where you're most sensitive. It makes you jump, not expecting it. He doesn't let you move away, instead wrapping his lips around you and sucking, hard.

"Oh Jesus--" your knees buckle a little, "Kyle, fuck," he pulls back and turns you around forcefully, making you arch. His hand finds your ankle and lifts your leg up and out, tongue finding your cunt once again. He eats you out like he's making out with you, like a sloppy kiss. His other hand squeezes where your ass and thigh meet, spreading you open.

"I missed you so much," he says. "I missed this pretty little cunt. Oh, jesus, I'm hard again." Of course he is - his refractory period has always been quick. This is a new record, though. "Can I fuck you, baby?"

You have to really force your words out, with how he spreads your asscheeks and licks your other hole. "Nn- no. You haven't - haven't earned it yet."

Kyle doesn't say anything to that, just curls his tongue in your ass and let's your ankle go to pinch your clit between two fingers, twisting it. You shout, then go still, remembering where you are. "Kyle --!" It sneaks up on you, how fast your orgasm comes. From your toes to your nipples, electricity shoots through you and tightens your skin. You tremble violently, soaking his fingers and his face. He stands up while you go through the aftershocks, hands stroking your belly and holding you from behind, crowding you and making you feel safe.

Kyle kisses your nape, sucks your earlobe a little. Waits like a gentleman. You lean back against him and squeeze his fingers.

"I'm gonna fuck you now." He's not asking anymore, and you're boneless, so you just spread your legs and let him push his cock into you slowly, enjoying the stretch. It makes you rise onto your tiptoes, letting him take your weight. He rocks into you slowly at first, hands roaming from your stomach to your tits to your throat. Pinching and squeezing, having earned your submission.

"I missed you too," you admit finally, breathily. "I love you, big boy."

Kyle hums, sucking a mark into your neck, picking up his pace. "I love you too." He nibbles on you a little. His thumb finds your asshole again, pushing in, making you whine high and thin. "You gonna be a good girl and come all over my cock? I've been waiting for this, you know. Your pussy feels like home."

Your cunt drips on him, making wet little sounds while he fucks you hard against the wall. You're still sensitive from coming earlier, so you squirm on his cock, squeezing around him. "Come inside me, please," you beg. You need to feel it. He uses his free hand to push your face into the wall, bucking into you once, twice, then holding himself taut as a bowstring. His hips grind minutely against your ass while he comes, flooding your pussy.

Kyle doesn't let you go, just pulls his cock and thumb out quickly, taking advantage of your stupor to cup your pussy and roughly squeeze your clit. You yelp, jumping, but keep your legs spread. Your peak is building again, and he knows it. Two of his big fingers find your stretched hole and push in, curling and rubbing viciously until the pressure builds and builds and your pussy contracts, pleasure slicing through your abdomen painfully. You cover your mouth with your hands just barely in time to shout, knees buckling with your orgasm.

If not for Kyle holding you up, you'd have fallen down to the floor. You shake, feeling cored. He nuzzles you sweetly, licking your ear. His hand pets your pussy gently until you push him away, way too sensitive.

"Can I take you home, babygirl?"

"Yes please," your voice is a croak.

Kyle is a little inconsiderate in this but I hope it didn't read as angst and more playfulness between established partners <3<3 I feel like Kyle is a very noble character and he puts a lot of pressure on himself. Always worrying about what the right thing is. I figure with reader he can let go a little :') reader is a little miffed but she's soft for her man <3

Also I wrote this on my phone between shifts during a 13 hour day so please forgive any typos or grammar mistakes

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Shouldn't Have Said It

Pairing: Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.7k

Warnings: relationship angst, heartbreak, getting roofied at a bar by someone you trust

Summary: It's been a month since you and Bucky broke up, and it's been the hardest month of your life. In that time, you realize you never wanted to be apart from Bucky. You put your trust in the wrong person, and your entire life hangs in the balance.

Between Love and Hate Masterlist

Squares Filled: "told you so" (2023) for @buckybarnesbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

You didn't know how hard this was going to be for you. You didn’t leave because you fell out of love with Bucky. You left because it breaks your heart when Bucky takes away life like he’s God or something. Could you get over it? Maybe. You shouldn’t have said what you said to him. Maybe there was room for improvement but you were so stricken with grief that you said exactly what you were feeling at that moment.

It’s been nearly a month since you and Bucky broke things off so why doesn’t it feel over with? You want nothing more than to go running back to him but it’s like you’re stuck between true love and your morals. Killing is wrong. Taking a human life is a crime. Bucky should be in jail for what he’s done. He’s the bad guy, so why do you dream of him every night? Your parents raised you to be good and to help where you can. They taught you to love and care for others. If they knew what you’ve been doing, they’d shun you for sure.

You’re scared your innocence will be stripped down to nothing if you continue to stay with Bucky. You have given him everything you possibly could. Is there anything left?

Gio noticed a change in not only your appearance but the fact that you don’t smile anymore. You’re not dressing in your usual style--flowing dresses, shorts, tanks, and all of them in bright colors. Now, you’re dressed in dark colors, jeans, and band t-shirts with your hair in a bun most days. Over the past moonth, you might have said maybe ten words to him and he’s been a gentleman and let you have the space you’re silently asking for.

Even when you and Bucky are broken up, he still finds ways to take care of you. He sent you a new verison of the car you had before so you’re not walking or taking public transportation, but you refuse to use it. That’s a pity car and you’re not taking any charity even though it’s nice and you really want to use it. It’s not going to help much but you got a job at the local hardware store where you can save up for a car on your own.

If you truly want to be done with Bucky, you can’t use anything he gives you. Yeah, keep telling yourself that. It’s so damn hard moving on because you’re still so damn in love with him.

When Gio sees you sitting alone at lunch, he decides it’s time to bring up whatever’s got you in a slum. He walks across the huge cafeteria and sits next to you. You barely look at him but he does hear you mutter his name.

“Going through a break up is never easy.”

You look up at hi with slightly red and puffy eyes.

“How did you know?”

“It doesn’t take a genius to fit the puzzle together. Bucky isn’t around anymore.” You sigh and look back down at your food. “I didn’t want tot say anything to give you space but it’s been a month. Come out drinking with me and some friends.”

“I don’t know…”

“It’s fifty cent wings at the bar on campus. They got an overshipment of chicken wings and need them to go out before they go bad. Come on, it’s one night.”

Maybe this will be good for you. You’ve been sitting in your apartment all alone looking at pictures of you and Bucky. You’re making yourself sad so going out might be the way to move on.

“Okay, just one night.”

“Can I pick you up?”

“Yeah. I’ll text you my address.”

“Cool,” he smiles. “You’re not going to regret it.” His energy makes you smile even if it’s small. “I made you smile, right? That’s progress.”

Gio gets up and leaves you alone. Gio would be so easy to be with but he’s not Bucky. He doesn’t give you the sense of danger and adventure you had when you were with Bucky. You watch him walk away, and as much as you try not to, you see Bucky walking away from you. Yeah, you might really need this night out or maybe you’re forcing yourself to get over Bucky when you know you don’t want to.

Oh, I don’t know what to do or think.

When you get home, you immediately start getting ready even though you have three hours to spare because if you don’t distract yourself, you’ll start to think about Bucky and cancel on Gio. You don’t dress fancy since you’re going to go to a campus bar but you at least try to put something nice on. Gio comes when he sayid he would, and you meet him in the parking lot. You’re not an idiot. Being with Bucky made you cautious with most things in your life. Gio is an amazing man but Bucky made you weary of anyone in your life.

“Wow,” Gio smiles.

“What?”

“You look beautiful.”

“It’s just jeans and a t-shirt,” you say shyly.

“Even better.”

It only takes ten minutes to get to the bar which is already lively with people. Gio meets up with his friends who welcome you in with open arms. There are already three boxes of wings on the table that are all half devoured with more on the way. Gio orders two beers and sits with you at the table when he grabs them. Football games are playing on all of the TV screens, people are playing darts and pool in teams, and everyone is having such a good time.

Why aren't you?

“So? How do you feel?” Gio asks and nudges your shoulder.

“This isn’t so bad, I guess,” you chuckle.

“Told you so. I’m glad I could convince you to come out.”

“Well, I figure I had my month to wallow. It’s time to move on.”

Are you saying that to Gio or yourself? Are you really ready to move on? Do you even want to? I don’t know what to think. My head is all jumbled and confused. You look at Gio with a small smile wishing you were here with Bucky instead. Actually, you wish you were back in Italy with Bucky. You had to put your entire life on hold when you were there, and you’d give anything to feel that way again.

“Your skills are getting better in class. No one can sew like you.”

“Thank you. My mother was a seamstress. She’s to thank for my love of designing.”

“What about your dad?”

“He’s an architect. I get designing from him as well. What about your parents?”

Gio clears his throat and looks down at his beer.

“My mom died when I was a baby. I don’t remember much about her except the stories I’ve heard.”

“I’m sorry. What about your dad?” you ask and sip your beer. Gio’s face immediately hardens into something that makes you uneasy. He spares you a glance and forces himself to relax but the anger is still there. “Are you okay?”

“My dad passed away a couple of weeks ago.”

“Oh, my God. I’m so sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” he shrugs. “I don’t really like to talk about it.” You nod in understanding when his eyes meet yours. There’s a dark anger in his eyes that he can’t hide. He sees how taken aback you are so he grabs your half-drank beer and his almost finished one. “Let me get you another drink.”

He’s gone before you can say anything. You sigh and look around the crowded bar in thought.

“You’re out on a date with that guy?” You snap your head up when you hear his voice. “Come home. I miss you.”

Bucky is sitting right next to you as if he’s really there. You look around in panic but when you look back at Bucky, he’s gone. Who were you kidding? You can’t do this. You’re an idiot if you thought you were ready to move on. Who are you kidding right now? You don’t want to move on. No, you don’t. You miss Bucky. You miss his touch after a long day and the way his rough hands run over your smooth skin. You miss his lips when they kiss all over your body. You miss his smile when you make him work for your attention. You miss his blue eyes and the way they darken when you put on that red little number he loves so much.

So what if he kills people, right? He’d kill for you. That shows how much he loves you, right? He’d do anything to protect you. He treats you like a Queen, and you’re an idiot to let him go. If only your parents could see you now.

Gio comes back with a different drink in his hands. Right. Gio. You want to go home. Will Bucky take you back after what you said to him? Can he find it in himself to love you again?

“Hey, listen, you’re great and super nice but I don’t think I’m ready for this. It’s not you. I’m just not ready.”

“No worries,” he smiles. He sets a red-colored drink on the table in front of you. “I got you your favorite drink. Let me just say bye to my friends and I’ll take you home.”

“Thank you.”

Gio leaves your side to do what he said he was going to do. You take the glass and down the alcohol easily. Gio comes back shortly and you get out of the booth to leave. However, when you take the first step, your legs immediately feel like jelly. Gio catches you before you go crashing to the ground, and you look away in embarrassment.

“I’m so sorry. This usually doesn’t happen. I’m not a lightweight.”

You and Bucky once had a drinking contest to see who could drink the most and you won. Despite how hard and dangerous he can be, he can’t handle his alcohol well.

“Come on, let’s get you to the car.”

Gio helps you to his car and inside the passenger side. Your headache is worse, your body feels completely numb, and your vision is starting to blur. What the hell happened? Gio gets behind the wheel and pulls away from the bar.

“I don’t feel so good,” you slur.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take you home. Just go to sleep.”

He makes a right onto the main road and drives down the dark and desolate road. The last thing on your mind before you succumb to the darkness is that in order to get to your apartment, he had to make a left, not a right.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[ceasarslegion]

By the wishes of a few people, here's my advice post about living alone. Keep in mind I'm speaking from the perspective of a canadian urbanite, so this will not apply to absolutely everybody in every kind of culture, economy, living situation, those in rural areas, etc. This also is not assuming wealth disparities are a matter of personal attitude, i KNOW it's complicated. Get back with that shit right now, you know damn well this advice assumes you are able to achieve the financial means to live on your own and is not disparaging anyone who legitimately can't.

Let's cover the basics first.

Source of income:

This seems rather obvious, but your income should be regular and reliably the same or similar on a monthly basis. The most obvious way to achieve this is with a job, and I'm sorry but minimum wage is not going to cut it on your own anymore, which means you're going to have to swallow your pride and accept that you'll likely have to work for some industry or corporation with a dodgy moral record. Get used to it. There is no point in self-flagellation, the world is complicated, just take the 50-60k a year office job, no one actually expects you not to and nobody will hold it against you when the "moral" option is soul-crushing retail. The real world really doesn't give a shit what you have to do to afford a comfortable lifestyle as long as you do what good you can within your abilities, no one in the real world expects you to sacrifice your own wellbeing for a cause.

Salaried positions are your most reliable because you'll always pull the same amount, while hourly pay comes with the ability to pull overtime pay in exchange for more shifts, but if you run out of sick days you'll have to spend the rest of the year taking unpaid time off when you need to call in. Whichever one you choose depends on what's available to you and what's right for you physically and mentally, I can't make that call for you.

You also need a credit card. That is non-negotiable. If you don't have a credit score, you can't sign a lease. Bad credit is better than no credit. We can argue until the cows come home whether or not credit scores are good or bad, but it's just reality that you're going to need one. The good news is it's fairly easy to build credit from no credit: you just have to pay off your credit card in full on time every time. The bad news is it's equally as easy to tank your credit score, you just have to miss one or pay it too late, and it's very hard to build good credit back from bad credit. So don't see it as free money, only spend as much as you can pay back, and if you don't have credit right now, start with small things like lunch and little treats that you immediately pay off.

Looking for a place to live:

Once you have your regular and reliable source of income, you can start looking for your place. There's a few things you should keep in mind:

-Draw up a budget for how much you can spend on rent and bills. That includes all basic living expenses: rent, utilities, food, internet, phone, hygiene. Compare how much you make per month to what you can spend. 1/3 to 1/2 of your salary is a bit more realistic to expect to spend on rent alone nowadays, so work within that range when you apartment hunt. Think of everything when you're budgeting, like how much do you spend on haircuts per month? You probably didn't think of that, because I didn't either at first.

-Apartment buildings with some/all utilities included often have higher base rents. You have to keep in mind that this is so the landlord can balance out the utility bills of the whole building, which are unpredictable expenses and on them to pay every month. If you don't know how to budget yet or don't know how to do so with unpredictable bills, I highly recommend trying to find a place with utilities included so you know EXACTLY how much you'll need to pay every month and can plan in advance

-Older buildings tend to be both cheaper and more likely to have centralized utility systems, which means they have to include it in the price of rent because there's no way to tell who used how much of something. If it's your first place alone, you'll probably be tempted to get the brand new, expensive building down the road, but it won't actually make much of a difference when you move in. You will love it regardless.

-Never ever sign a lease until you've either seen THE unit you're considering, or one of the show units that is exactly the same layout. The last thing you want is to go off online photos only to move in and find out the building has a mold problem. You can arrange personal tours by contacting the building manager or the landlord directly. Phone calls are the best way to do this.

-If you want the unit after seeing it, you know you can afford it, there's nothing funny about the place, apply IMMEDIATELY. Places are usually on the market for a few days before they're snapped up by a new tenant, you have to strike while the iron's hot.

-If you've decided on the place you want and had your application accepted, read the lease carefully before you sign. Many places require tenant insurance that meet specific policy requirements, have registration rules about long-term guests, outline how the parking works, quiet hours, smoking rules, mail, laundry, all the way down to what kind of barbecues are allowed on your deck in the case of mine (I am in a wildfire danger zone, so any types that produce embers are strictly prohibited for fire safety reasons). Ask any question that comes to mind about the lease. Not everything in a lease is some human rights violation just because you don't like landlords, keep in mind you're living in the same building as dozens of other people, so there has to be ground rules established for everyone's sanity.

-Internet is often not considered a utility so you'll have a hard time finding any place that includes it. You can arrange to have your wifi set up in advance of a moving date on a specific time and date, do this right after you sign a lease so you don't forget. They won't charge you until you're actually hooked up to the network.

-If your utilities are NOT included, get those set up in advance too. The main ones are HVAC, water, and electricity. The companies that do this vary depending on where you live and what's available, so shop around online once you've signed your lease and sign up as soon as possible. The last thing you want is to forget this and then move into a dark freezing apartment with no water.

Budgeting:

After your living expenses are covered, you should have a comfortable amount of financial wiggle room leftover. If you wouldn't, the place you're looking at is either too expensive, or you're being overcharged elsewhere. It's completely normal for living expenses to take up most of your budget these days, you're doing just fine in the same boat as everybody else if that's the case, so don't panic yet. If you have absolutely NOTHING leftover though, then you're out of your price range.

You also need to set money aside for fun and saving. Do not forego fun money, your brain will try to kill you with hammers and knives if you never get or do things for yourself. And if you're on your own, you're the only one providing that for yourself now. And a solid building base of savings will only help you in the future, whether you lose your job, have an emergency, or even need a down payment on a house later in life. Don't be a doomer about your circumstances or the socioeconomic and generational cards that were dealt to you, chip away at it a little at a time. And don't fall for social media's insistence that anybody with anything at all is some bourgeois degenerate or that being fortunate enough to be able to have upward mobility makes you some ultra wealthy shithead, working towards a comfortable standard of living for yourself does not make you a rich elite or a bad person. You're working towards the standard we should all live as, not exploiting the poor or being a class traitor. I feel the need to add that last part since we're on the website of "struggling art students in NYC are bourgeois that are just bad with money and having a gaming computer makes you upper middle class." Don't listen to a word any of those people say, I know it comes from a place of very real hurt and pain for them but that doesn't make it grounded in absolute reality for absolutely everybody.

Social needs:

If you're by yourself, there's gonna be a lot more work you have to put in for your social and entertainment needs. I can not stress enough how important it is to give this the time and work it needs, do not neglect this.

Lots of libraries have clubs you can join that will get you out of the house and meeting new people regularly. They're either free or very inexpensive. This is a great place to start.

Take advantage of technology we have now. Hop on discord calls more frequently, make sure you're talking to your friends on the regular and try to make plans as much as you can.

Also, I advise finding lots of things you can do by yourself. You will be spending way more time alone than you ever have before, so find single-person hobbies. Go thrifting, get into knitting, go explore the city, read lots of books, do puzzles, just don't lock yourself inside all day in your free time. Even if you're doing it alone, going out and seeing that the world is bigger than your apartment and your workplace is very good for you.

Misc advice:

You don't need a conventional coffee pot maker. Single serving will suit you just fine.

Cleaning is easier when you have a routine. It doesn't all have to be done on the same day of the week, but having a regular schedule of what gets cleaned when for non-daily chores will help you keep on top of it. And please, god, don't neglect your cleaning and hygiene just because no one lives with you to see it. On that note, spray bottle all purpose cleaners are your best friend for daily spot cleaning and you should deep clean your washroom around every 2 weeks in my experience since that's where you'll be doing most of your personal hygiene. Also make your damn bed, yes you'll just get back into it at the end of the day but having a major part of your space neat and tidy will do wonders for your mental health.

Don't buy the cheap garbage bags. Some things you really do want the expensive shit for.

If you don't have a car, delivery service/rideshare subscriptions ARE worth it and legitimately economical in the long run. I do wanna circle back to square one and say that yes, most of them like prime and uber do have dodgy moral records, but sometimes you just gotta swallow your pride and accept that. Once again, no one in the real world expects you to spend your entire day on public transit looking for toilet paper that isnt 30 dollars a pack or lugging 50 pounds of groceries back on a bus just for a cause. It's not the fault of someone who needs these services for their quality of life that they do the things they do, don't put that responsibility on your or other's shoulders when the fault lies at the top of the corporate ladder.

When you're budgeting for living expenses, expect your income to be at the lowest and your expenses to be at the highest. I expect 2 call ins per month and to need to spend the max amount i have on groceries every time, that way I never fall short and never have to cut into my savings that I've dubbed my "oh shit, I'm broke" money. Your emergency reserve may look tempting to you, but as someone who has been in a position where they had to drain it to nothing in the past because of an unforeseen financial emergency, you REALLY are gonna want that untouched if and when shit hits the fan. Life is unpredictable, prepare to roll with the punches so they don't knock you out.

A few people wanted to be tagged in this, so here you go @lilsnatch and @kisstheashes <3

[lightwing-s]

I feel it in the air, second date is coming for biker!jason

a/n: not a full comeback, but i was dying to write for biker!jason so after the first, he is a second date and more to come ♡

Do you wanna learn how to ride? were the last words you expected you’d hear tonight. But there you were now, legs hanging on each side of Jason’s motorcycle, as your feet barely touched the floor. The black dress you had worn for dinner was now rolled up your thighs, and your heels thrown somewhere on the floor of the empty parking lot you were on. 

Your date, standing right beside you, instructed you on how not to fall face first on the ground with his precious bike. Jason’s hand rested on top of yours, his thumb caressing the cold skin as he continued to teach you the mechanisms of the bike.

 “So, here on your left you have the clutch. You’re gonna use it every time you need to change gears, just like a car. And to do that… ” he lowered himself to be levelled with the gear pedal, moving his touch to your bare leg. “You’re going to use your pretty legs to work this pedal, alright?”

Listening attentively, you could only shake your head and hope all that information would get to your head, but it was quite hard to do it, as his hand slowly slid up to rest on your tights as he stood from his former position, taking away all your concentration.

“On your right you have the brakes. Hand is front, feet is back. Be careful with those ones, they’re both important but used wrong can also be dangerous.” he told you sternly, eyes glued to yours. “Why do I feel you’re not listening?” he lowered his voice, almost whispering against your neck.

“I promise, I am” you laughed, confident but still avoiding his eyes, fearing what would happen if you kept staring at it for too long.

“Alright” breathed a laugh, stepping away from you. “Give it a try now, but don’t go crazy on the throttle…”

Before he could finish, you rolled the throttle heavier than you imagined all the while releasing the clutch faster than you should have, the bike jumping forward and immediately being held down by Jason’s strong arms.

“I really can’t do it.” you told him, while awkwardly laughing the embarrassment away.

“Yes, you can.” he assured.

“I can barely keep my balance.” 

Trying to find an excuse to quit was too hard around Jason, who was adamant on having you drive, even if just two metres, on his bike tonight. Head shaking at your attempts to leave, he was definitely amused, as a smile didn’t cease to remain on his face. “Here, let me help you.”

You felt Jason’s leg moving behind you, as he took the back seat. Soon after, his chest met your back as his arms reached over yours, caging you to the bike. His hand now rested on top of yours and guided you on a ride that lasted a few minutes, but longer that you’d expected.

“Here, you did it�� he said, as you raised your arms up in celebration. “I told you could, didn’t I?”

“I guess I had a great teacher.” you smile at him over your shoulder, tongue between your teeth, and a quick wink as you feel his hands moving to your waist.

“No, you just have a lot of potential.” he complimented, placing a kiss on your shoulder. Feeling the air grow thicker around you, you move a bit on your seat, accidentally grinding his crotch, feeling a big volume hit against your ass. Biting your lip, you bend forwards, laying your chest on the tank and making sure to lower the space between you both in the back.

You heard a loud sigh and his grip tighten around your waist. One of his arms curled around your middle, pulling you back up to rest your back on his chest again, while his free hand roamed to where your dress rolled up to expose your thigh.

“Stop grinding on me, little dove. Or we won’t make it out of this parking lot.” he whispered in your ear, causing goosebumps to run down your spine and wetness to form between your legs. A side of you really hoping to not make out of that parking lot.

[igotanidea]

Mistletoe: Jason Todd X reader

Christmas bingo day 15: mistletoe

Christmas bingo masterlist

"for the love of –‘’

She really should have seen this coming, right?

***

“Y/n?” she was barely reacting too distracted by what her beloved boyfriend Jason just told her “YN!” her blank face expression made Todd want to shake her a little to bring her back to reality. As for now he was effectively fighting that urge but each second of her acting like a lunatic were putting his patience to a very hard test. “How many fingers do you see?”

“Now that’s mean.” She came to life rolling her eyes at the charades

“Made you get back down to earth.”

“I’m shocked, not hazy.”

“Why?”

“Why?” was he even serious “you want the list on chronological or alphabetical order?”

“Humour me princess.”

“First: you’re attending a Christmas party at the Wayne Manor? You?”

“It’s only for Alfred’s cooking.”

“Mhm. Obviously.” she teased” Second, you are going to wear formal clothes? You?”

“I’m pretty sure you’ll like me in a suit, won’t you?” Jason reached for her waist pulling her closer to him and caressing the small of her back.

“I like you best when - “

“Oh, don’t I know that….” He murmured in her ear “we’ll get there too I promise.”

“Jace?” her sudden pulling back took him by surprise and when she raised her head to meet his eyes, the unclear message coming from them made him shiver.

“You don’t want to go?” a few years prior, if someone were to tell him he would actually have a girlfriend and wanted to show her off to his siblings and – well – Bruce- he’ll laugh at that person face. In the darkest times he was on the war path with his adoptive father and even being in the same city was almost unbearable. Not that it was sunshine and roses now, but they definitely worked through some differences and – a real miracle –talked for the first time in years. “It’s okay if you don’t.’ no matter the effort there was no way to hide the tone of disappointment in his voice. “we can spend the Christmas eve together, just the two of us and –“

“No! no, no! Jason. I do want to go. I mean , come on, Wayne Manor. Maybe I’ll finally wrap my head around the fact that my boyfriend is the son of a billionaire and start taking advantage of it.” She laughed happily ruffling his hair, that were calling for a hairdresser, but she loved that unruly shag regardless. “I just wonder-“

“what? You’re chickening out? You already know all of them, guess that eliminates the element of surprise when Dick climbs the chandelier or starts balancing on the chair.”

“Am I reading too much into it?”

“What are you talking about, princess? What’s there to overinterpret – oh!”

“Yeah….” She muttered and looked down, suddenly embarrassed of what she said, cursing herself internally for destroying the atmosphere as his grip weakened and mouth hanged open. “You’re inviting me to an official party. As your official girlfriend….”

“It’s not like they don’t know we’re together. Damn, Y/N, you had no idea how much teasing I had to put up with.”

“What did you to Tim, Jason?”

“Nothing! I swear.” he let go of her completely, much to her irritation, raising hands in surrender. The man build like a tank were trying to protect himself from his significantly smaller girlfriend.

“Jason Peter Todd.”

“Nothing permanent. Now, don’t change the subject.”

“Me? I’m still waiting for your answer.”

“You’re not reading too much into it. I want you there. Officially. Before someone get any stupid ideas of stealing you away from me.”

“Not a change, pretty boy.” She drummed her fingers on his chest, feeling his heartbeat “not when I almost give you a heart attack every time I’m near you. It’s the kind of power you don’t give up easily.”

“You say that now, you power-hungry woman. I’m sure you’d love some more hearts to your collection.”

“I have always been a fan of quality rather than quantity. And so it happens I got the best quality available on the market” she smiled at him lovingly, her pretty eyes sparkling.  

“You’re mine, you little tease” in a blink of an eye he was holding her again, running fingers through her hair and connecting their foreheads, letting himself be vulnerable and wishing she could read his mind and hear the words he was unable to articulate “thank you…”

Thank you for existing.

Thank you for staying by my side.

Thank you for loving me.

Thank you for accepting my broken, imperfect love.

***

As every real woman, she had nothing to wear and had to fix some outfit with the old clothes, found at back of the closet, about to feel terribly underdressed.

Or at least that was the plan, before she found neatly wrapped package with her name written across the paper and became a proud owner of the most beautiful and elegant dress she has ever seen.

Turned out Jason had an amazing sense of fashion, picking an outfit serving as a mix of style and quietness.

However, when she asked him about it, the only answer she get was I know what I want to see you in. In Jason’s language it was a sign of care that she won’t feel like an outcast around the female guests, but also a little hint at potential jealousy and protection against possible lustful glances from other men.

Doing a poor job at the second part of it, cause once they entered the manor, all eyes landed on her, leaving Jason gritting his teeth and refusing to leave her alone for even a second. This drove him to such an extreme that he even followed her to the bathroom and was giving responses on her behalf whenever anyone dared to ask her to dance.

“No, of course you can not dance with her. Can’t you see she’s already got a partner, back off, dude.”

Such words were followed by the tightening grip on her hip each time a man gathered enough courage to come too close.

Too close being a couple feet.

“Jason!” she whined at some point “don’t be mean. You don’t dance, you had grown attached to the chair and I'm bored. Come on, just let go off me, it’s not like I’m going to run away from you or anything…” she tried to break free but it was no use, considering both Jason’s strength and possessiveness.

“Sorry, princess. I don’t trust those fops. Can’t risk their hands wondering some place only mine are allowed.”

“But Jay-“

“No one but me dances with you.” He said sternly and much to her surprise dragged her to the dancefloor. What was even bigger shock was that he actually knew how to move. He knew the steps, had a perfect sense of rhythm and definitely did not stump on her feet, not even once, holding her gently, leading her to the music and being delicate and protective, almost making her swoon with the charm.

Apparently, she didn’t know her boyfriend at all.At least not from this side.

He never failed to make her feel safe and loved, but now – encompassed by his arms, held like the most precious person in the world, she felt like a true princess. Something she never experienced before.

“How do you like that, love?” he whispered in her ear, holding her a bit more firmly, causing her heart rate to spike.

“moderately –“

“Then why is your heart racing?” he spun her around perfectly, making sure she was quickly and safely back in his hold.

“It’s not.”

“Well then, it’s about to.” He smirked guiding her a little bit to the right, looking up with the mischievous look in his eyes.

Mistletoe.

“You’re not going to kiss me in the crowd with everyone -“

He was going to.

And most importantly – he actually did.

Luckily she didn’t know that plant wasn’t there earlier and only appeared because of some skilfull vigilante being jealous of the glances thrown her way. Luckily she didn't hear the muffled chuckles coming from the side of the stairs as Dick, Tim and Damian appeared all together out of nowhere, after being gone for a longer while.

She didn't care.

Not as long as she was standing under the mistletoe fulfilling the tradition that came with it with the most wonderful and sneaky bastard if a man there was.

And who couldn't care less about the glances now.

[apostaterevolutionary]

Collecting some thoughts on veilguard cause tbh I really don’t know how to feel lmao so. Unstructured ramble time

I’ve watched the trailer and the demo and I feel very. Idk? Still ‘wait and see’ mode for me. It’s been 10 years. Inquisition imo was the weakest of the 3. And while I have kind of moved on from DA there is a part of me that wants this to just blow everything out of the water and be amazing. I’m just not sure if that’s what I think will happen. Right now, I just think it doesn’t feel dragon age-y enough (in terms of what I, personally, consider the defining traits of the series) but I don’t want to jump to conclusions with so little information

The trailer was. Fine. Vibes were a little off but given its Varric narrating, it makes sense (also. Unpopular opinion lmao. I love Varric but I don’t think he should be a companion again. If there’s a carry over companion, it should have been Dorian. And tbh he could still be there, considering they said 7 companions but Varric is not included in that. So did they mean 7 *new* companions and maybe a few others? Advisors again maybe? Idk. Maybe Varric is a temporary companion, but I don’t think he should be there except maybe as a cameo. Scout Harding is an unexpected but fine carry over though). I don’t really have an opinion yet on the companions themselves cause there’s just. Nothing to base an opinion on other than the character designs

Gameplay demo shows that they’re definitely going very Inquisition-y. As in, continuing further down the path it started. Which isn’t unexpected, but is a bit disappointing, though not necessarily a dealbreaker as of yet. It’s probably smart tbh to go more in an action rpg direction than back to the crpg roots given it’s going to be compared to bg3 no matter what they do - better to differentiate as much as possible. Though I don’t think that’s why they did it, probably more a happy accident. I just. Idk, I found inquisitions combat a bit boring and I haven’t been impressed by what I’ve seen yet. But a 20 minute demo is probably not enough to really form an opinion

I feel like you can still see the echoes of this being a live service game at one point too. Healing potions coming from pots found in the environment (I never got over healing spells being cut btw lmao, bring back spirit healers already), the “ability wheel” (unsure about that too, given it sounds like we can’t control companion characters anymore? Kinda really don’t like that :/), stuff like that. I still feel like DA2 combat was the perfect balance between fluidity and strategy but it is what it is. It performed badly, so they’ve disregarded it wholesale rather than consider that some aspects of it may still be worth exploring. It sucks, but that’s capitalism I guess

As for all the other little things, idk, I really am not sure what to think yet lmao. Some sound good. Some less good (why only 2 companions, I don’t like that at all - also weird that the demo shows you won’t have a tank for the initial bit of the game. That’s a weird choice). Nothing to make me go aaaaaa either positively or negatively yet. I don’t even know what to say. My feelings are just so complicated about it, but also kinda empty at the same time. Like. It’s a bit of kombucha girl meme but also muted? I would like to feel just. More about it. But I don’t yet. I’m too unsure. Not quite numb, but almost tbh

At this stage, I feel like I’m gonna wait till it comes out and see what happens. No pre-ordering until I get a better idea. It’s like. With origins, I’ve played it a lot. DA2, even more - countless times lmao. Inquisition though, I played 2.5 times immediately after release and have tried to play it multiple times since but. I only ever get 10-20 hours in before I get bored and can’t make myself continue. I’ve tried many, many times and idk why but I just can’t do it. I never even played any of the DLC, so like. I kinda need to do that first if I’m gonna play veilguard but I have never succeeded before so idk how I will now lmao. But I feel like at least trespasser is necessary and I have genuinely never played it. And I gotta play the rest of the game first to get there and I genuinely don’t know if I can sksksjs

And with that in mind like. If inquisition is that unappealing to me, a game that feels very inquisition-y, potentially leaning even more into the stuff I didn’t like about it, is. Definitely not what I was hoping for. It’s still possible it’s leagues better than inquisition and actually playing it will be a great experience. But right now I just don’t know. I probably won’t be able form any kind of opinion until it comes out and I start getting info from trusted folks that I know have good DA opinions lmao

Idk. I’m not trying to be a wet blanket or a hater, and I genuinely don’t think I am being a hater at all, but I am just. Very tired and nervous. But also cautiously hopeful. I’ve said ‘idk’ a lot lmao but I truly don’t know at this stage. I guess we’ll see. Let’s hope it’s actually amazing and the very thing we need to make the series as a whole feel like it used to for us lapsed DA fans

[zozo-01]

"i'm thinkin' how she rides it, if she sits on it. (make it hard for me to stand up.)"

Hello, hello!!! Our lovely @dominimoonbeam wanted a lil moment between university freshman David and Darlin' when Darlin' pierces him and I said, absolutely ma'am give me a couple of months! So here we are, definitely on the more spicy side but I do try my best!!! And I couldn't resist the J. Cole lyric. And thank you to the amazing @cashandprizes for reassuring me that this is as hot as I think it is!!!

CW: University AU, David is a Business Major, Darlin' is a Poli Sci Major, They are both stupid and in love, No Angel and Sam AU, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Things get heated because piercings, A little bit of accidental grinding of the laps, Praise, ass grabbing, Just a jolly old good time, see domini i can do nice things to darlin, Minors Please Don't Interact, Mayhaps a part two where there will be actual fucking may come soon

click here for the ao3 link!!!

--

There they were, sitting in the comfortable silence that they have both perfected. There’s no need to speak whenever they’re with him because a glance is all they both need. Eyes spill secrets that lips refuse to speak of, but at the risk of not getting sentimental, David called it their way of telling each other that they should ditch class together. If you had told a sophomore David that his favourite moments were when he was skipping classes that he paid thousands for to spend time with the pack’s resident bad wolf, he’d be convinced you got the wrong man, but here they were. 

Darlin’ had messaged him that they weren’t feeling well and wanted to stay home, and David being the good and whipped Beta he was, stayed back to help them. After their inevitable yet futile attempts to send him back to class, they’d relented and pulled out their textbooks. “If you’re going to skip class, then at least let’s be productive.” They sat down, motioning to David to join them on this impromptu study date- nope, nuh uh, he dares not be hopeful and call this a date.

So they sat in the silence that felt familiar and kept glancing at each other to make sure the other was doing ok. 

Right now, though, he was doing a whole lot more than glancing. More like gawking at the wolf in front of him. How could he not? They had a tank top on due to the heat, leaving scarred skin and muscle out on display for him. There was a reason everyone fell for Darlin’ at first sight and it wasn’t their dazzling smile or sweet glances. (They’d only show that part of them to the people they trust, and David likes to delude himself into thinking there are some looks that are reserved for him alone.)

David gave up on balancing his accounts and analyzing supply and demand graphs in favour of staring at their pretty face while they look over some policies for an essay. Their eyes rapidly firing between their computer and notebook, scrambling to write down the notes they needed for an essay. It was nice to see them relaxed like this Writing always brought a sense of peace to them. Watching them be able to translate the beautiful and complex ideas in their brain into words that only they could conceive.

Even after all these years, there still wasn’t a detail that went unnoticed by him.

“You got a new piercing?” His eyes stared at the silver piece on their nose. They’d talk about getting a nose piercing for a while now, and now that they’ve gotten it, it fits their face really well.

“Hm?” They ran a hand over their face in an attempt to wipe the tiredness away. “Oh yeah, got that one a couple of weeks ago.” Their eyes went back to their readings, but they continued speaking. “Hurt like a fuckin’ bitch. The lady had to give me shit ton of napkins to stop the blood and the tears.”

He scooted closer to them to take a closer look, fully giving up on his own assignments. “And do your parents know about this one?” He jested, but genuinely curious about their reaction.

They chuckled that infuriatingly soft laugh. “My mom took me to get it done, thank you very much. I’d have to be a real certified fool to think I can hide this from her.” Massaging their temples as a way to motivate them back into writing, they powered on with their essay. Always having more willpower than he could ever dream of.

He smirked, leaning in to whisper in their ear. Just blowing air on their ear was enough to make their breath hitch and body stiffen up. “Does she know about the belly button piercing? Or the tattoo on your thigh?” Both of which he’s had the pleasure of seeing on the nights he and the rest of the pack have gone out partying. Darlin’ would always be late, but the care they took in their outfit and appearance was always worth it. Not that they didn’t look beautiful all the damn time.

Finally putting their notebook down and turning off their laptop, Darlin’ turned towards him with a cocky grin. If they had moved any closer, their lips would have brushed against his. He wondered how soft their lips would be and how their scar would feel. Before he could delve deeper into his own desires, Darlin’ put a finger on his lip.

“You ain’t gonna tell my mama, are ya Davey?” A sultry voice with the rough accent he loved entered his ears, filling up his senses until it was all he could perceive. This was so unfair. It’s not his fault that he has a boring accent. And it was absolutely not his fault Darlin’s accent made his pants tight and heart pound. Very little in this world can make David Shaw blush, but hearing his fellow wolf laying on their accent thick was one of the few events that made his knees weak.

A silent nod was all the wolf needed to lean back and smile like nothing ever happened.

(Darlin’ will always deny two things for the rest of their life. One, their city accent is attractive in any way shape or form. Two, that David Shaw made their heart beat erratically when he smirks and leans in to whisper in their ear.)

Darlin’ got up to stretch their arms and legs, and David made sure to note the way their muscles moved under their skin and the little groans they let out. Oh, he’ll definitely remember those noises later. “I’m gonna grab some water, want some?”

David gave a nod and stood up, also wanting to stretch his limbs after sitting down for too long. And not because he wants to show off his muscles to them. No way.

The two wolves walked towards the kitchen, where David sat on the barstools and Darlin’ went over to the fridge to take out two bottles of water. Whether or not Darlin’ purposely bent over, showing off their ass in those sweatpants was a discussion for another day. Preferably when he is alone and with a hand down his pants. (He would love it for it to be theirs.)

Sipping on his water to try to cool himself down, a thought crosses his mind. He randomly thinks about something Milo and Asher had told him, and he wonders if Darlin’ shared the same sentiment.

“So um, weird question…” His voice trailed off when Darlin’ turned back around and focused their attention on him. Shit, shit. The question was embarrassing enough, but he didn’t truly understand how awkward it was to ask them directly. Or maybe thought he was weird. Or even worse creepy.

He didn’t notice that Darlin’ walked around the kitchen counter, standing in front of him with furrowed brows and head tilted. “Are you ok, David? You seem a lil’ flushed.” They placed their hand on his forehead to make sure his temperature was alright.

“Yeah, no, I’m fine. It’s just- I wanted to-” He stuttered and stumbled his way to find the right words to ask his deeply odd question, all the while Darlin’ didn’t interrupt him. They just nodded, urging him to take his time to find the proper way to ask. “Milo and Ash mentioned something… About tongue piercings and how good they felt… And uh…” Oh God, please end his suffering so he doesn’t have to live on.

Apparently God decided to further his suffering by making Darlin’ laugh at him. He can’t be too mad since their laugh is so heavenly, but seriously? Come on! He wants them to laugh with him, not at him. He crossed his arms huffed, looking to the side to hide his pouting face.

(Oh my God, Darlin’ would never say it to his face yet, but he looks so much like a puppy when he does that. He needs to stop right now before their heart explodes into a bunch of little wolf bits. And that’s a mess no one wants to clean up. Grim.)

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” They covered their mouth to muffle their laughter. Now hold on, they shouldn’t do that. If they’re doing it to save his dignity, then there’s no point! His dignity is gone so the least they can keep laughing so it’d been worth it.

Clearing their throat and wiping tears from their eyes, they stood up straight to ask the million dollar question on the tip of his tongue.

 “David Shaw, are you askin’ me if it feels good to get head from a person with a tongue piercin’?”

When they say it like that, he can see why it was silly that he couldn’t formulate a simple question. But have you considered that this is the wolf he’s been mildly attracted to (in other words, madly in love with) standing in front of him. Considering the attention and interest that they garner from the people around them, it makes it all the more important for him to be on his best behaviour. If he wants to be considered a potential mate, he cannot project any weakness in front of them. And that includes asking questions about sex and sexuality. How can he properly fuck them if he doesn’t know what they like?

He grunts and nods his head. “Yes, that is what I was asking about. Can you give me an answer?” Nice, holding his ground after an embarrassment like that is a good step towards recovery.

Darlin’ raised their eyebrow. “It feels real fuckin’ good.” They smirked, leaning slightly into David’s space. “The cold from the metal just makes me beggin’ for more.” The sultry voice from earlier returns and David fears for his pants durability. They placed a hand on his thigh to push themselves higher to look him in the eye. “Do you want one?”

(It was cool and this is ok. Their banter together, Darlin’s flirting and their touchy habits is just who they are. From the outset, Darlin’ seemed like a person who didn’t want to be touched and for the most part they would be right. They were only like this with the few people they found attractive and their close friends. He had seen them pull the same moves and use the same lines from before. There was nothing special about the things they were doing or saying to him. Maybe they found amusement in the flustered state they reduced him too, but that can be said about anyone else.)

(To Darlin’, this was all a game. But it’s a game he’s willing to play to keep them close to him.)

David scoffed, getting up from the chair and went to grab more water. Was it always this hot at this time in the year? “No, it was just a question,” he replied rapidly, chugging down the water to cool himself off again.

From the corner of his eyes, he could see Darlin’ leaning their upper body against the counter, hand holding their face and with a shit-eating grin.

“Aww, what a shame. You’d look hot as shit with one.”

He knows that they’re egging him on. All of this was only to get himself riled up and say something stupid. Or look stupid. It’s the same stuff that got him in so much trouble in high school and he refuses to let it continue now. He’s in university. He’s an adult. So there’s no way some childish instigation would make him say-

“Ok, where can I get one?”

…David Shaw, you dumb bitch.

Darlin’ rolled their eyes. “Ha, ha, I was only kiddin’. There’s no way you’re not lyin’.” When all they were met was silence, their eyes widened. “Holy shit, you’re actually serious. Are you ok? Did you hit your head on the way here?” 

“Yes, I am serious and no, I didn’t hit my head.” He crossed his arms defensively. “If you say it’ll be a good look for me, then let’s do it. Where do we have to go?” David was seldom known for his spontaneous attitude, but they always had a way of bringing that impulsive side of him out.

Looking around the room, Darlin’ put their hands behind their back and stretched their arms. “Well I can do it.” They cut David and his concerns and his complaints off with a wave of their hand. “And before you worry, yes I know what I’m doin’, I’ve done it before and you’re in good hands.” They walked to the fridge and pulled out a tequila bottle. David dare not ask where they got it from.

“Here,” they offered the bottle to the baby Alpha. “Take a sip, then go to the bathroom. I got spare toothbrushes under the sink, use one to clean your tongue then meet me out here.” Once David took the bottle, Darlin’ turned to their room to grab something.

Shaking himself out of a daze, he asked, “Wait, what’s the bottle for?” It doesn’t seem like alcohol and piercings should go hand in hand like this.

Darlin’ gave an easy smile and reassured him, “It’s to make sure you don’t feel too much pain. Trust me, it helps.” With a nod, they walked back into the room, leaving David alone in the kitchen.

There were a handful of people David trusted in his life, and there were even fewer that he would trust with something like this. He stared at the bottle, knowing if he drank it, he would be fully committing to this wacky plan. But if he could trust anyone who would hold his life in their hands, gently and with care, it would be Darlin’. So he popped the bottle open and took a sip of the tequila. 

He wiped his mouth and walked to the bathroom. It would take a bit before the alcohol takes its course, so he had some time to brush. He opened the bathroom door, looking at himself in the vanity mirror. This was so stupid and so was he when it comes to them. He bent over to the cabinet under the sink, a slight nausea overcoming him. He took the toothbrush out and went along with brushing his teeth and tongue.

Once he spent a good 5 minutes brushing (he cannot have Darlin’ think he has bad breath), he took the mouthwash from the vanity cabinet and swirled it in his mouth. Just a precaution and it never hurts to be safe than sorry. He remembers the pain Asher went through with his infected piercings and he refuses to go through the same.

He could feel the booze hitting his brain, needing to shake his head to keep himself awake. It really is such a miracle that he was such a lightweight at his size. He stumbled back to the living room, looking at the assignments he chose to abandon for a more worthwhile experience. Plopping himself on the couch, he waited for Darlin’ to come back, while letting his head get heavy. Hopefully, Darlin’ will come out before he passes out.

Luckily, Darlin’ entered the living room with latex gloves on their hands and a bunch of needles in their arms. In his drunken stupor, he had to hold back a moan when he saw them. They look so fucking good in those tight sweatpants and that tanktop, and the alcohol made him want to… express his appreciation. 

They set their tools on a towel beside David, setting it up for a smooth procedure. “Ok, everythin’ on my end is ready, you done brush your tongue?” He nodded his heavy head and smiled at Darlin’ appreciative ‘yay’. “Good shit. Now, can I sit on your lap?”

Absolutely. Yes. 100%, you will not hear any complaints from him. He may not know why they needed to, but he will gladly let it happen. He thought he hid the confusion in his eyes well, but leave it to Darlin’ to pick at every little expression. “I need a good look at your tongue and sittin’ on your lap makes it easier for me to not fuck up.” That’s a good enough reason for him, so he nodded. Darlin’ thanked him, and gently sat in his lap.

(Darlin’ had done this a billion times before, but sitting in the other person’s lap was something they never needed to do.)

The weight of their body on his lap was heavenly, providing pressure and touch at the right areas. If he was a weaker man, he would have grabbed their hips and started to move them against his crotch. He wonders about how they would act if he grinds up against them. Would they let out breathy moans or shallow groans? Would they be loud or quiet? Would they fight against his hold or let him do whatever he pleased? So many different trains of thought, all of them involving him inside of them, wherever that might be.

He’s begrudgingly heard from other people about how good they are in bed. He wonders if he can put some of those rumours to the test.

“Ok, couple of things before I start,” they said in a stern voice. David widened his fatigued eyes at their tone. “One, you gotta stay still for me. I know it’s gonna hurt, but I don’t wanna mess up the needle placement. And second,” they grabbed his hands and put them on their thighs. “Squeeze them if you’re in pain.” David wonders if he’s in heaven, being able to hold them this close and gripping their thighs. He could feel the tensing and relaxing of their muscles, and he wonders if they’re just as nervous as he is.

With a nod and a quiet whisper, they say, “Good, now open that mouth for me and stick your tongue out.” Not even a second into this and Darlin’s voice is already making him lose his mind. He does what they say, letting them see every little corner of his mouth and tongue. They grabbed his chin and pulled him closer, their eyes examining his tongue. 

The nausea from the alcohol mixed with the anxiety of the anticipation and the butterflies Darlin’ gave him made his stomach twist and convulse in the sickets way. He knew he couldn’t move, lest they mess up at his expense, so he does what comes natural to him. David absentmindedly traced the muscles and scars he could feel from over their sweatpants. Trailing his hands from their hips all the way down to their knees and back up. He started off with fleeting touches, ready to back off if they asked him to. But with no objection from the wolf in his lap, he let his touches become firmer. Soft grazes turned into borderline lustful strokes. He could feel the bruises form under his fingertips. He wonders if he can leave bite marks later.

There was a morbid curiosity in him that wonders what would happen if he thumbed their inner thigh. Would they like it? Would they let him trail his hand higher? Questions he desperately needed answers to, but not right now.

His pondering was cut off by Darlin’ shifting to grab some tool, causing them to grind into his lap. The pleasure shot up to his brain and woke David up immediately. This was it. He was a goner. Is he also supposed to keep any sounds in? That’s just cruel and vile. 

They help up a tweezer-like to David’s eyes. “This here is a forceps clamp. I’m gonna use it to minimize as much of the bleedin’, ok?” A nod from him prompted Darlin’ to clamp his tongue. It was a weird sensation, but the alcohol made it barely noticeable. 

Happy with the placement after checking for the major veins under his tongue, they held his shoulders. “Ok, this is your last chance to back out. Once the needle goes in, I can’t take it out. You still wanna do this?” This should be the time David really reconsiders his decision. Like, does he really want this piercing? Is it even worth it?

“Aww, what a shame. You’d look hot as shit with one.”

He couldn't reply properly on account of the clamp on his tongue, but he let out a string of sounds that sounded like, “Alright, let’s do it.” He clenched his eyes and grasped their thighs with a vice grip. He may have not seen a person get pierced before, but he can imagine how fucking painful a needle through the tongue could be. Sure the tequila would help, but like, needle through the tongue. Ouch.

Sensing the stress from David, Darlin’ placed a hand on his face, thumbing his jaw. “Hey, you’re gonna be alright. I won't lie, it’ll hurt like a bitch, but you’re in good hands, I promise.” They said with such a soft voice, so full of conviction, he thinks that the process would be painless. They moved their hands to his chest, “Just breathe in and out.” Maybe, if he focuses on the fluttery feeling they’re giving him everything will be ok.

When his breathing evened out, Darlin’ gently held his chin with one hand and held the needle with the other. “Dig your nails into me if it gets too much, but don’t move.” With that, they gently began the piercing process and David stopped himself from jerking backwards.

The pain was awful. He had tears in his eyes and body was stiff. The best way he could describe the feeling was as if he could feel every part of the believed pain that comes from morphing from his human form to a wolf. Luckily the tequila helped a little with the pain.

In a delirious state of pain and inebriation, his hands slid up their thighs and to their ass. He needed something with more resistance, fearing that if he kept gripping their thighs, he’d soon draw blood. And also, he’s not going to give up a chance to grab their ass. His fingers dug into his backside, feeling the soft muscles clenching underneath. Darlin’s body stopped for a good micro-second, and they let out a soft moan that David will absolutely be saving for later.

Darlin’ stopped for a moment, hearing the pained whimpers David let out. “Shhh, you’re doing so well,” they whispered. “There’s only a lil’ bit left, you’re almost there.” Their raspy voice mixed with their praise for him had his pants get even tighter. At this point he’s absolutely sure Darlin’ can feel his dick through his jeans, if the quiet moan was any indicator. He’s glad they’re being affected the same way he is.

A few seconds later, he felt the needle exit his tongue, with the piercing replacing it. The worst of the pain was over, hallelujah. They attached the ball at the other end of the piercing. They took their gloves off and kept holding his chin, admiring their handiwork. “You did amazing, David.” Once Darlin’ was satisfied, they got up, heading back to the kitchen.

Oh no, oh no no no no. He has a full on boner and nothing to hide with. He frantically looked around the living room, eyeing the small blanket. David placed the blanket on his lap, letting out a sigh of relief. Now if only Darlin’ could relieve him in other ways.

Darlin came back into the room with some mouthwash, a cup and ice. “Rinse your mouth with this and spit in the cup. It’ll hurt, but you gotta do it,” they said as they handed the cup and mouthwash to him. He did as they said, rinsing his mouth and spitting out blood and mouthwash into the cup. Gross.

“Open your mouth again for me?” There was no hesitation in his action, letting Darlin’ have complete control of him. “You’re such a good boy, Davey. Listenin’ to me so well.” They chuckled at David’s deadpan expression. They took the ice and placed it on the piercing. David groaned at the feeling, the cold ice soothing his swollen tongue. “Oh my David, what a sound.” Kill him now. 

They shook their head and their voice got serious. “Some aftercare shit. Wash your mouth with salt water and mouthwash twice a day. No solid food for a couple of days, don’t worry I have soup with me. No smokin’ or alcohol for 2 weeks.” They got closer, leaning over his body, whispering in his ear. “And no oral sex for 4 to 6 weeks, but I’ll be here so you can put that piercing to use.” They leaned back like nothing happened, going back to their ignored assignment.

David can’t wait to wring out every little sound Darlin’ let out. Maybe it will lead to something more.

(Darlin’ spent that night with a hand down their pants, thinking about how David’s new piercing would feel inside them. Maybe they can convince him to get a Jacob’s Ladder next.)

[citrus-moonlight]

Salvation is a Deep Dark Well

Chapter 2: Raise Your Chin and Howl

[ Masterlist - Part Two ] -> [ Masterlist - Part One ]

Fandom: MCU - Age of Ultron, Black Panther Pairing: Ulysses Klaue x F! Reader Word count: 9.7K Chapters: 2/6 Rating: Explicit

Summary: The actions of others leads to chaos at the compound, and after Klaue returns to deal with the aftermath you're surprised to learn that his reasons for being upset aren't what you think, and you finally have to admit some things that you've been denying.

Warnings: Explicit!, Mild Age Difference, Reader is Late 30s, Use of Pet Names, Injury, Workplace Injury, Mention of Blood, Reference to Guns, Insecurity (Reader is an Idiot), Light Angst, Smut, Dirty Talk, Teasing, Reference to Masturbation (M), Finger Sucking, Spit Kink, Oral Sex (M receiving), Brief Rough Oral, Cock Worship, Messy Blowjob, Mouth Fucking, Cum Swallowing, Hair Holding/Pulling, Guided Masturbation (F), Mild Size Kink, Soft Dom, Teasing, Praise Kink, Porn With Plot, More Accidental Feelings Oh No

AN: Welcome back, friends! It's been quite a while since I updated this one, but I'm excited to finally bring you so more of these two! it wasn't so much that this one got away from me, but what I wanted (and needed) to do with it was getting more involved, and ultimately I'm happy with how this ended up turning out. Especially since I also accidentally wrote a holiday "interlude" story that comes after this but before what was supposed to be the next chapter (which is now chapter four), which was simultaneously challenging and helpful in finding the right balance in this part as things progress.

As always, thank you for reading and to everyone who has commented or reblogged so far, and I am unendingly grateful to those who have provided encouragement and support through this writing of this story. I hope that you enjoy! 💕

AO3 Link

Title is from "Hands Like Roots" by The Builders and the Butchers

And if thee should die tonight Well it won't be without a sound When your hands move like roots Making their way through the ground

The afternoon is crisp but bright when you step outside, the sun actively working to melt much of the late autumn snow that had fallen overnight. 

You’d only gone out to take a quick inventory of the oxygen and argon stock, but when you make your way past the loading dock to get to the storage cages you see something that makes you pause and do a double take.

On the compound’s property there are three industrial propane tanks that power and heat the facility, and today they were scheduled to be refilled before the snow properly settles in the mountains making the roads difficult to access during winter.

The refilling had already been completed and the tankers should have been long on their way, so you’re surprised when you see what appears to be a fuel transfer being done between the two bobtail trucks, which is illegal except in special circumstances, and making it more concerning they're also uncomfortably close to the loading dock. 

On top of that, as far as you’re aware this compound isn’t licensed to allow truck to truck transfers at all - something that would normally only be done at the refilling plant - making it doubly illegal

And while this might not be a facility where “legality” is necessarily a top concern, that doesn’t change the fact that it’s still dangerous and incredibly stupid. 

“What are you doing?” You blurt out, standing stock-still as you stare at Anatoly, the man who seems to be directing what’s happening. You weren’t necessarily on friendly terms with the Sokovian man, but you had chatted occasionally and he’d seemed to have more sense than this.

“We didn’t want to do it right next to the big tanks.” He gestures across the yard.

You continue to stare, perplexed. 

“Ok, well, you shouldn’t be doing it here at all, but now you’re right next to the building, and the five pound tanks -” 

“It was the only place flat enough for both trucks.”

“- are a lot closer than those big ones.” 

“Don’t worry, it’s fine.” He brushes you off, starting to get visibly frustrated that you won’t let it go.

Changing tacks you turn to one of the drivers who’s in conversation with Milo, a welder you recognize from another shift.

“Hey, you know you’re not supposed to be doing this here, right?”

“He doesn’t know how, so I’m doing it for him,” Anatoly replies before the driver can answer himself. “You’re making a big deal from nothing.”

“Why are you doing it at all? Unless there’s an emergency you can’t just -”

“I’ve done it before.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Listen, they both would've had to go back to their plant, but now one can go straight to the next job.”

“So let me get this straight: Doing a favour for someone whose job doesn’t have anything to do with you is a good enough reason to create a potentially dangerous situation here? I don’t think that Klaue will love hearing that.”

“You’re not going to tell him.” His annoyed demeanor quickly shifts, his expression going icy.

“No? Why wouldn’t I? You’re doing something incredibly stupid and I think that he should-”

“So you’re going to snitch on me?” He sneers.

“About this? Yeah, I guess I am. And if you’re concerned about him finding out then you must have at least enough common sense to-”

“I don’t need common sense to know that you- ”

“Jesus Christ, would you let me finish a fucking sentence!”

Your voice surprises you and to Anatoly’s credit he actually shuts up, scowling like a petulant teenager who’s realizing that they’re not going to be able to intimidate their way out of trouble. 

The other workers who had been milling around and watching half-interestedly now straighten up and turn towards the trucks.

“You.” Gesturing at both drivers, pleased that they at least appear to be somewhat chastised. 

“You are supposed to be in control at all times. These trucks are your responsibility from start to finish and you’re letting him do something that’s illegal just to save a bit of time?”

“He offered!” The first one exclaims.

“Which he shouldn’t have, but you should have said no and moved on.”

You turn back to Anatoly whose mouth is downturned in an almost comical grimace. 

“And you may think this is no big deal but I very much doubt that Klaue would appreciate you being so flippant about potentially damaging his operation.”

He looks like he wants to say something else but bites his tongue, his stare still condescending even though he knows you’re right and has no argument left. 

At this point, and while you wouldn’t be surprised to learn it, you’re not yet aware that there’s a crack in the hose near to the end connected to the receiving truck. Before you’d even gone outside propane vapour had been steadily leaking out, the only indication that there was a problem the occasional whiff of mercaptan - faint and not out of the ordinary from a typical delivery.

Normally this wouldn’t be an issue and the vapours would simply disperse since you’re outdoors, but it’s unusually calm today with next to no breeze to move the air, allowing the heavier than air propane molecules to instead pool between the trucks like an invisible low-lying fog.

As it is, you’re relieved when everything is finally disconnected and sealed up, and having abandoned your inventory you turn to make your way back inside to try to get this documented, even if others think that you really are overreacting and Anatoly doesn’t face the consequences you think he should.

“You know, maybe next time you could- ”

You’re cut off again, but instead of a condescending comment this time it's by the sudden percussion of an explosion. 

When the full truck’s engine started up an unknown faulty battery sparked and ignited the vapours that had been collecting, the flashback loud enough that your ears don’t register the sound until you’re already on the ground. 

Fortunately you manage not to hit your head but your shoulder feels like you’re lucky it didn’t dislocate when you landed. Slowly pushing yourself up onto your elbow you look around, blinking until your vision slowly comes back into focus and you realize with a sinking feeling that the truck itself is now burning, flames appearing to emerge from one of the valves at the rear.

“Goddamnit,” you curse, momentarily frozen in place as you watch the flames growing quickly in front of your eyes. 

You know that as the temperature rises the pressure inside the tanker does as well, and it needs to be stopped before the valve can no longer vent faster than the pressure is building, and  you have no way of knowing whether any of the internal mechanisms were damaged in the explosion, so you may have even less time than normal.

Finally you manage to convince your muscles to move. Sucking in a breath you grit your teeth and force yourself to standing, moving as quickly as you can to reach the cabinet that houses the fire extinguishers, and then Milo is suddenly there next to you.

“I’ll take this one,” he offers and you quickly nod your thanks. Maneuvering over to the truck you unspool your hose and get as close as you can until the heat of the flames forces you back.

Stumbling briefly from the recoil when you pull the nozzle’s lever back you grimace at the sudden jolt of pain in your shoulder but manage to recover quickly, widening your stance to better brace yourself and focus the thick white cloud on the brightest part of the fire. 

Thankfully the flames seem to be quickly smothered and you move closer as the heat begins to die down. Occasionally you or Milo alternate your focus on the truck’s own fuel tank, working to extinguish the burning propane while also trying to prevent the diesel from possibly igniting as well. 

You can see Tom in your peripheral now, dimly aware of him barking directions, relieved that someone else was there to take charge, and even when the fire appears to be doused you keep your hoses pointed at the truck until both extinguishers have been completely emptied.

Finally, after what feels like hours but was probably less than fifteen minutes since you had walked outside you take a deep, shaky breath and simply sit down right where you stand in the mess of slush and extinguisher residue.

You can almost feel the adrenaline physically draining out of your system, your jaw involuntarily clenching as you begin to shiver. You’re not sure who’s hand squeezes your shoulder, your mind feels fuzzy as mild shock sets in, and it takes conscious effort to release your grip from the hose that’s still sitting across your lap and slowly stand back up.

You're buzzing wildly between a range of emotions: anger, frustration, relief, a blanket of exhaustion settling over all of it as you waver on unsteady legs, tamping down the thoughts of how much more badly this could have gone.

Two days after the incident with the trucks and the ringing in your ears has nearly stopped, and aside from stiff muscles and a painterly bruise blooming across your shoulder you'd come out of it all more or less unscathed.

Once the chaos had wound down and things could be assessed it was fortunate that damage was minimal and the overall injuries turned out to be minor, mostly cuts and bruises from being knocked over or from the burst of gravel from the initial explosion. Even the alarming amount of blood you'd seen running down Anatoly’s face ended up just being a superficial gash.

There are already at least two versions of what happened circulating through the facility, one casting your actions more favourably and one much less so (no question where that one started), though you’re not particularly concerned which version others decide to believe. Enough people witnessed what actually happened, and regardless you know that what you did was the right thing, and you’re confident that Klaue will see that.

You haven’t had a chance to talk to him yet but he's supposed to be on his way back, abandoning the South African coast early to assess the damage and meet with the kind of investigators that a facility that doesn’t exist in the strictest sense will allow.

Although you have his return to look forward to, you can’t help still feeling on edge as the dregs of adrenaline continue to circulate in your blood, and you regularly have to force yourself to take a deep inhale when you realize that your breathing has gone shallow again.

Fortunately you’ve had a simple job the last couple of days, spending your shift taking apart scrap metal to be sent to a foundry to be melted down. Oxy acetylene cutting can be physically taxing and it's hot as hell but it doesn’t require finesse, and right now you’re happy to simply let muscle memory guide you, focusing only on regulating the flow of gas and keeping the glide of the flame’s sharp tip steady as you work. 

You’re waiting for the disassembled pieces you'd just cut to cool before moving them so that you can start on the next section when there’s a sudden burst of activity at the entrance to the shop, and when you turn towards the disturbance you see that Klaue has just walked in.

His eyes have already found you but the swell of excitement at seeing him unexpectedly is quickly replaced by confusion when you register his dark expression.

“You.” He points, singling you out from the crowd. “Come with me.”

Your mouth drops open in surprise at the anger in his tone, and when you don’t immediately move to follow he raises his eyebrows, impatience clear in the tight set of his jaw.

“Now.” He grits through clenched teeth.

“Ohh, someone’s in trouble.” 

You whip around to find the source of the taunt, the anger and frustration that you haven’t fully processed surging out in a red-hot wave, and the words are out before you can think.

“Shut the fuck up!” 

The idiot is looking at you like he’s made some world-class joke and you're ready to lay into him, but suddenly his focus moves behind you and the smirk drops away as the blood drains from his face.

Slowly turning to follow his eyes you see Klaue standing as still as a steel lathe with his arm extended, but it takes several seconds for you to register that the leather holster on his leg is empty and his gun now aimed at the center of the man's chest.

“Shit.” You gasp. 

All of the oxygen seems to have been sucked out of the room and you're rooted to the spot, your hearing gone muffled and tinny. The joker’s eyes are flashbulb wide, standing with his arms jutting into the air as though that might have any impact on what happens next.

Every inch of Klaue appears calm, you might almost say he was relaxed if it weren't for the weapon in his hand. But the unmistakable fury in his eyes colours them nearly black, an obsidian blade glinting in the shadows simply waiting for an excuse to strike, and though he speaks quietly you know that everyone watching this happen can hear every word clear as day. 

“If you ever speak to her about anything other than this job again...” 

He doesn't finish the sentence, he doesn't have to, the sound of the safety lever being flicked off is deafening. The only movement in the room is the flex of tendons in Klaue's hand as his thumb deftly finds the switch.

You’re not sure whether the man is actually breathing, and even though your own heart is pounding out of your chest you find that you’re not exactly upset about the look of abject fear in his eyes.

“No! I mean I won’t! I didn’t mean anything, I’m sorry I-” he stammers, panicked eyes flicking back and forth between the weapon and Klaue’s face, forcing his hands almost comically high until his biceps are covering his ears. 

No one else speaks.

After several more excruciating seconds you finally hear the click of the safety re-engaging and you let out the breath you’d been holding as he slowly replaces the gun in its holster.

Then he turns back to you and repeats:

“Now.”

You have to work to keep up with Klaue’s brisk pace as you make your way through the warren of hallways, eventually ending up in an area you’d only passed by before. You follow him into a room filled with various pieces of vaguely familiar military equipment, a heavy desk and a bank of monitors against one wall, and in your still flustered state it’s only when he closes the door behind you that you realize that he’s taken you to his office.

He walks over and leans on the desk, weight braced on his knuckles as his shoulders rise and fall, each breath slow and deep.

He doesn’t speak, doesn’t look at you - in fact he hasn’t looked at you since he’d turned away expecting you would follow.

“Klaue?”

You think that you note a brief hitch in his breathing, but beyond that he doesn’t respond. 

“Listen, it’s been a long couple of days and I’d really appreciate it if you’d tell me what’s going on.”

“What you did was dangerous.” He replies quietly, finally seeming to find his words.

You sigh. You’re not entirely surprised that that’s what this is about but you’re still irritated and your lingering anger is back at the surface, leaving you fighting to keep your response measured. You’re not the one who’d done anything wrong. You thought he’d understand that.

“I did what needed to be done, that whole situation was getting worse by the second.“

“You put yourself in harm's way. There was no need to get that close when there had already been an explosion.”

“So was I just supposed to stand around with my mouth hanging open like almost everyone else? Or walk away and pretend that nothing was happening?”

“You didn’t need to get yourself involved, period. Those men would have dealt with the consequences of their actions.”

You throw your hands up in resignation.

“This is perfect, I was one of the few people actually trying to help, and yet I’m the one you’re taking it out on? That seems par for the course in all of this.”

Finally Klaue turns around to face you.

“I’m not- ”

"What about Milo? Or more importantly the asshole that actually caused the whole fucking mess??" You're close to yelling now, unable to help it as your anger and disappointment finally boil over.

"Do you really think he hasn't already been dealt with?” He replies sharply. “He’s gone, and won't be stepping foot in another shop anywhere, ever again. I'll be making sure of it.”

There's something flat in his eyes that cloaks the usual sharp blue.

“Ok, well…good.” You’re happy to hear it, though you’re still only somewhat placated. “But that doesn’t change the fact that the damage could have been so much worse if that truck had kept burning. I had to do something."

"That shouldn’t be your concern. I would have handled it."

“More people would have gotten injured.”

“I’m aware.”

“Or killed!"

"You could have gotten- "

He cuts himself off with a sharp exhale, fists balled tight at his sides. 

He hasn’t raised his voice until now, but it's his tone and the way his words waver that gives you pause. As you watch Klaue collect himself you feel something trying to work its way into your chest - something that’s whispering to you what that clouded look in his eyes might have been. 

Fear.

He’s visibly tense, lips pressed in a thin line as he takes a step toward you, broad shoulders curling inwards in an almost protective posture.

“I know you didn’t have anything to do with the accident, and that you wanted to help. But what you did still wasn't-”

He stops again and it surprises you, normally so certain of his words and not exactly afraid to speak his mind, you instead watch the muscles of his jaw working as his eyes burn into yours.

“This is a risky job.” You finally break the silence, trying to reason with him, taking your own tentative step closer to him. “Even when I’m not working for an arms dealer, by the way. Anywhere in this trade mistakes like that can happen.”

There’s a soft “careful” in the quick tilt of his head, and even now you feel a spark of relief at the flash of that familiar part of him.

“And you got hurt here.” 

You only realize that your hand has been rubbing your bruised shoulder when you notice his eyes have shifted to watch your fingers.

“So did other people! Why am I being singled out? What is the concern about me?” 

A part of him seems to drift from you again, and when he doesn’t respond a vice of cold steel begins to tighten around your chest. Has he discerned the real question that was hidden in your words? Is he angry? Disappointed? Indifferent?

Damnit, you curse yourself. 

You wished you hadn’t said it  but the recent stress has eroded your filters and you couldn’t help but push. Even though you’re not going to get the answer you can barely admit that you want.

“If you had really been hurt. If you had gotten killed..” 

When his eyes focus on you again there’s a coldness in them that you’ve only seen hints of before, but now it’s right there at the surface, clear and sharp and seething.

“That man wouldn’t be gone, he would be dead.” 

Oh.

Klaue’s words are laced with a calm certainty that sets your heart racing, your skin prickling hot under the weight of his gaze as you stand there shocked silent by his admission, unsure how to respond.

Just as suddenly as it appeared the cold begins to melt away, his eyes sweeping over you as if confirming that you’re still there, still whole and standing in front of him.

“Did you think I wouldn’t be concerned about you?” He asks, a curious frown knitting his brows.

You’re not sure how to respond to that either and you’re quiet for several long moments, chewing your lower lip while you consider, nervous for a different reason now.

He’s pushing you back, and it’s what you wanted (what you needed), not letting you get away with hiding, because if you’re going to ask the question you need to answer it, too.

But he must know it’s not a simple question, and right now you can’t give him a simple answer.

“I don’t…know what this is.” You start, haltingly. 

The first threads of an admission that there’s something for this to be. 

An admission that although a part of you has known it since the first night he slowly, achingly buried himself inside you, you can no longer pretend that he hasn’t already ruined you.

”Neither do I.” He concedes, slowly closing the last steps that separate you, surprised to find yourself relaxing at his words. It's not an answer, not yet, but still an acknowledgement, that you’re both uncertain but unable to help the way that you’re drawn together. Moths lost in the dark, instinctively picking up on the invisible spark of the other.

His hand reaches up to touch the shoulder that you'd been massaging.

“Let me see.” Klaue rumbles softly as he moves to lift the edge of your shirt, and silently you help him work your arm from the sleeve before he pulls the garment the rest of the way off, leaving you in your sports bra.

“I don’t know that I have to know, but I-” 

You start to speak but then inhale a sharp breath when his palm slides over your shoulder, soothing the bruised warmth, fingers also dance along the scar on your other arm which was fortunately not the side you’d landed on.

“And I don’t know if I can tell you.” His frown deepens as he takes in the angry bloom of purpling skin. “But I haven’t been able to think about anyone else since you’ve been here.” 

You hadn’t assumed anything but you can’t help the sting of relief, even as you fight to hold back the dam of want that’s cracking open beneath your ribs.

But when his hand slides up over your shoulder, your neck, tilting your head so that you meet his eyes, you realize that it's a battle you've already lost.

Your fingers curl around his wrist, the other hand pressing flat against the firm warmth of his chest. 

“I hadn’t been seeing anyone for a while, before Utrech..” You start and then pause, your eyes slipping closed with a sigh as you sink into the sensation of his palm against your cheek. “But even when I was still trying to pretend that I didn’t…since then it hasn’t even occurred to me to think about anyone but you.” 

“Is that right?” Klaue’s voice hums with a pleased timbre though his eyes flick searchingly across your face.

“Yes. There’s no one else. Not now, not-”

Not ever.

“No one has ever come close to making me feel the way you do, Ulysses. And maybe I don’t know what this is, but…I know that I don’t want to stop.” 

The last words come out in a breathless rush, forced out before you can overthink and lock them away again. Finally admitting it as much to yourself as to him.

“I’m not going to stop, darling. Not a fucking chance.” 

You nearly laugh with giddy relief but it’s interrupted when his hand tightens around your jaw, leaning in so that his mouth is hovering over yours as you press your body flush against him, arching into the stiffening ridge of his erection that juts into your hip.

You try to angle your mouth to find the warmth of his lips against yours, but strong hands continue to hold you just there, a breath apart. The air has shifted, a charge growing in the dwindling space between you that leaves your skin tingling from the near contact, and when you feel a faint brush of his lips against yours an audible whine slides from your throat.

“That night, after the bar, I thought about you.” Klaue continues.

“You did?” 

“Yes.” He nearly groans the word. “Thought about how you'd taste when you come.” 

The wet heat that’s been building in your core surges at his words, at the sudden image of him flushed and sweaty, his fist moving in rough strokes over his swollen cock and the thought of you in his head.

One of your hands begins to slide between your bodies, needy fingers plucking at his belt, reaching beneath the waistband and tugging.

“Thought about taking you into the back, finding a quiet corner, having you on your knees in front- in front of me.” His voice hitches and he shudders when you find the now stiff curve of his cock beneath the fabric.

“And then..when you were there, kneeling, I was sure I was dreaming. But you were so much better than my dreams. Such a tease, weren’t you?” He hums, and you can hear the grin even as his voice drops to a rasp of granite and silk. 

“Thinking you could get away with that.”

Klaue’s hips rock into your touch as you squeeze more firmly, sliding your hand along the shape of him, rewarded with a harsh sigh as he pulls back and fixes his eyes fix on yours. You thrill at the heat that you find there, helplessly reaching for the flames that lick against your skin. 

That invite you to burn.

“I didn’t think that for a second. But I already apologized, didn’t I?” 

A flash of him holding you against the door, desperation on your lips as he finally let you fall apart.

“Oh, you thought that was your apology? Getting to come on my fingers?”

“I didn’t, I mean-” You stammer, the movement of your hand faltering even as his admonition sends another wave of heat through your body.

“I’m afraid not, darling. And right now..” Your eyelids flutter and it takes a moment to realize that he’s waiting to make sure he has your attention.

“Y-yes?”

“Maybe I do.”

“You do…what?” Frowning, you try to figure out his meaning through the growing haze of arousal.

“Want to take it out on you.”

Your eyes snap to his, molten sapphire when you meet them.

“And maybe,” Klaue’s thumb swipes across the corner of your lips. “I want to take it out on this mouth of yours.”

His eyes flick down to catch your tongue peeking out as you reflexively lick your lips.

“Because a day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t thought about that sweet promise you made on your knees.” 

His thumb slides against the seam of your lips, smug when they part easily beneath the pressure.

He tsks, but any response you might give is cut off when he pushes past your teeth and your tongue gratefully tastes the calloused skin. But just as you move to take his thumb deeper into your mouth he pulls back, quickly replacing it with his index and middle fingers before you can lament the loss, and you can’t help but moan around the thick digits.

Eagerly you begin to slide your mouth along them, slowly bobbing your head, taking them further until they’re far enough back that your gag reflex triggers and your body stiffens, squeezing your eyes shut as you force yourself to take slow breaths.

Eventually your eyelids flutter open again, your focus coming back to him and the pleased look in his eyes.

Once you catch your breath you increase the suction of your lips to pull his fingers a little deeper, your tongue teasing around and between his two fingers, the texture of his warm skin contrasted with the smooth edges of his ring.

The next time you pull back he takes the opportunity to add a third finger, his other hand reaching up to cup the back of your neck, gently but firmly holding your head in place as he slides them all the way into your mouth again until his thumb and pinky are cradling your jaw.

Klaue’s mouth has dropped open, his breathing gone rough as he watches your lips stretching around his fingers. Both of your hands have moved to grip his shirt, steadying yourself, your eyes beginning to water as your breath comes in quick gasps.

“Shhh,” he soothes. “Just like that.”

His fingers stay where they are until your breathing slows again, nearly wincing at the deep velvet of his gaze on you, soft but inescapable. 

You still feel the instinct to gag, but once your throat relaxes the rest of you follows, and you sigh as he withdraws a little, rubbing gentle circles against your tongue. Your inhibitions are quickly falling away as you become focused only on more, moaning as his fingers continue to move, the thumb of his hand that’s curled around your neck caressing the sensitive skin there.

A heady thrum of desire is growing, settling deep between your thighs as you watch him through heavy-lidded eyes as he alternates between slowly pumping and then pressing deep and holding there, pleased when your breathing evens out more quickly every time.

Watching his expression cloud over with lust it occurs that you’d never really thought about how much he liked this. How watching your lips, and feeling your warm, slick mouth around his fingers as they grow shiny with your spit has him barely hanging on.

“That’s my needy girl.” 

Klaue’s words are a sigh, almost a release, the tension when you had first followed him ebbing from his body, smoothing the set of his shoulders as his fingers continue to move.

You shudder again, unable to hold back the keening sounds from escaping your throat, your center already soaked and aching and you don’t even have his cock in your mouth yet.

“What’s the matter, isn’t this enough?” His words are cut with a smug glint of gold, seeming to guess what you’re thinking about.

And honestly you would let him keep doing this if he wanted, turning you into a mindless mess with just his fingers and only your eyes able to plead wordlessly for more. But he said he was going to fuck your mouth, and the narrowing of your eyes answers his question.

His unoccupied hand releases your neck and takes one of your hands, returning it to the waist of his pants where you quickly work at his belt and zipper, determined though distracted by the continued slip and drag through your lips. 

Eventually you manage to reach beneath the fabric to grip his hard length, your other hand tugging the layers down until you’re able to free his cock. The movement of his fingers falters at your touch but then he’s grinning when your moans become more plaintive, saliva spilling from the corners of your mouth as your hand hungrily strokes the intoxicating heat of him.

“Now, don’t swallow.” Klaue murmurs.

You have a split second to frown before he withdraws, realization dawning when you have to quickly close your mouth to keep from drooling.

Unable to reply, you wait a beat before your eyebrows raise in a question.

“On your knees.” His hand drops, slick fingers replacing yours where they’re wrapped around his length.

Your breath catches with anticipation, and unable and unwilling to hide how eager you are now you keep your eyes on his as you sink down slowly until the thick circle of his fist is directly in front of you, the slit already leaking as he strokes himself. 

The sight of it has you aching, desperate for your lips to replace the languid slide of his fingers, to take him deep into your mouth then and nose into the dark, grey-flecked hair that spreads from the base of him.

“Now, spit on my cock, darling.”

Your reverie suddenly broken you look up to see him watching you intently, eyes dark and commanding, his hand now gripping the thick base, holding himself out to you.

Waiting.

Still unable to reply, all you can do - all you want to do - is acquiesce. So you lean forward and slowly let the saliva slide from your parted lips until it drops onto the head of his cock, his palm quickly gathering and dragging your offering down his length, groaning at the slide of it beneath his fingers.

Only when you hear the low timbre of his laugh do you realize that you’re practically pouting as your eyes eagerly follow the movement of his hand.

You lean forward again, glossy lips parting in anticipation, but his other hand quickly reaches to grasp your hair and stops you. 

You’re agonizingly close, not caring how desperate you must look straining against his grip as your tongue flicks out, the sounds of skin on slick skin making you increasingly desperate to taste him as he holds you just out of reach of what you want.

“Look at you.” Klaue croons.“You’re always switched on. You’re strong and I can see how hard you work, and I want you to know how much I appreciate that.”

You flush at his praise, briefly distracted from your conquest.

“But when I use your mouth…then I get to watch you let go. I can tell that you don’t like to do it for yourself, so I’m going to do it for you. Going to empty that head of yours.”

His hips nudge toward you and this time when your lips drop open he lets you move to meet him.

He sucks a hiss through his teeth when you press a wet kiss against the thick head of his cock, chased by a relieved groan as you let your lips smear the glisten of precum that continues to leak there, fresh heat blooming between your legs at the sounds this draws from him.

You keep the muscles of your jaw relaxed and pliant as you press slowly forward. Not sucking yet, simply using the head of his cock to part your lips to slide over the already slick skin, slowly and thoroughly mapping the shape of him with your mouth.

And he's right, of course. You can feel yourself relaxing as you finally taste the musk of his heated skin, humming contentedly as your tongue swirls around the head and drags over the sensitive frenulum, the tension of the last few days finally draining away with every languorous slip of your mouth. 

A different kind of tension quickly swelling deep in your core.

“Jesus.” Klaue sighs above you as you gradually take him deeper, one hand braced on his thigh while the other wraps around him, his cock achingly hard beneath your fingers. 

Still loosely holding your hair he's letting you work him, your own pleased moans slipping from your throat as you lick hungrily over every ridge and vein, savouring the salty tang of his velvet-slick skin warm against your tongue

Pleasure thrums through your body, growing hotter with the attention you’re giving him, but as you take him deeper again, your lips stretching wider, realization flickers in the back of your mind that you haven’t even taken him halfway yet and you’re already growing overwhelmed by how full your mouth is. 

But, god, the ragged sound he makes when you slide down until his cock nudges the back of your throat makes your cunt throb, so you pull back so that you’re holding just the tip of him between your lips and then you do it again, reveling in every inch that you can take.

Slowly you build a steady rhythm until saliva is dripping down your chin, he's continuing to let you control the pace for now, allowing you to breathe and adjust until he’s deeper than when he was on the couch.

Your hunger is growing, though, and soon you're pushing forward with more intention and when your throat spasms you swallow reflexively, your eyes watering when this draws him in further. Klaue’s moans deepen at the ripple of the muscles around his cock but you’re unable to fight it any longer and you gag, even as his drawn out “Fuck” has your hips rocking.

Squeezing your eyes shut you just barely manage to stay where you are, tears dampening your lashes until you finally have to pull back, although you keep him in your mouth, breathing hard through your nose to catch your breath.

“It’s alright,” he rasps. ”Don’t think you’re going to be able to take all of me right now, darling. But you’ll take as much as you can, and when you can swallow every inch of my cock then you’ll get to feel me come down your throat.” 

You can’t help the muffled sound you make that’s equal parts arousal and disappointment.

“Don’t worry, I’m still going to make a pretty mess of your mouth," he teases, his heaving chest and half-lidded eyes betraying his own growing need.

Not that he isn’t doing a fair job of it already, of course, unable to properly swallow, your chin is quickly growing shiny with drool. The pressure of his other hand still cradling the back of your neck firm but soothing as he holds you in place, as the still restrained flex of his hips begins seeking the wet heat of your mouth again, and you sigh at the intoxicating weight of his cock dragging against your tongue.

As you relax your awareness drifts back down to the heat between your legs, the slick press of the seam of your pants against your sex barely relieving the ache there as you squeeze your thighs together. 

After a few more slow thrusts he presses forward into the back of your throat again, and as he holds himself there you take a shaky breath and swallow once, and then again, taking more of him than you have so far. 

“There you go, God-”

You try to hollow your cheeks to pull him in further but you gag again when he bucks suddenly, his words cut off with a growled curse.

“It’s alright,” Klaue soothes, pulling back to give you a moment to recover, though it was more startling than painful. “You’re doing so fucking well.” 

Looking up at him you see that his eyes are screwed shut, head bowed and breathing hard, concentration etched clearly across his face. When he finally opens his them he can only groan at the sight of your tear-damp reverence, his attention is first drawn first to where he's disappearing into your mouth as he starts to move again, but it’s not long before they catch instead on the needy cant of your hips.

“You do love this, don’t you? Have you soaked through your panties already?”

You can only let out a whimpered moan as you attempt to nod.

He hasn’t let you take his cock out of your mouth yet and you can feel the drool that continues to spill from your lips beginning to collect and drip off of your chin, down onto your chest where it slicks the skin between your breasts.

There’s a flicker in the back of your mind, a needling thought that you should feel…ashamed. By the mess, and your neediness, by how much you fucking adore being on your knees for this man. 

But that flicker is quickly snuffed out as Klaue continues to use your mouth, and as you take in the look of awe in his eyes, when you feel his thumb softly stroking over the curve of your cheekbone, you realize that you don’t feel below him. 

That although you're on your knees, it feels like you’re the one being worshiped.

You want to focus on him and you try, really you do, but the heated ache in your cunt is becoming unbearable and you can't  help shifting and squeezing your thighs together, made breathless by your need as much as by the fullness of him in your mouth.

He's has been watching - and clearly enjoying - this increasingly desperate movement of your hips, but finally he seems to take pity on you.

“Do you want to touch yourself, darling? Want to come while you drool all over my cock?” 

Even through his tease you can feel how his own words affect him in the quickening buck of his hips.

“Go on then, feel how wet your pussy is just from this.”

The words are barely past his lips and you’re already moving, but just as you manage to work your hand beneath the waistband of your pants he speaks again.

“Slow.” 

The word is quiet but firm, Klaue's tone softer than before yet shot through with an irresistible command and you pause, glancing back up.

His shoulders and neck are impossibly broad from this vantage, eyes bright but tinged with a smoky darkness that does away with your resistance, and you know with a thrilling certainty that as desperate as you are for relief, in this moment you’d do whatever he asked.

Keeping your eyes locked on his you begin to move again, dipping your hand down - slowly.

“That’s it. Slip your hand into your panties now. Just- just one finger, darling.” His voice is uneven and clipped like he's having to concentrate on forming the words. “Slide it along that pretty slit of yours. Barely need to press to feel it, don’t you? How wet you are.”

You can only whimper in response, the building ache between your thighs only made worse by how close you are to relief, by how you could increase the pressure just slightly and you’d be able to part yourself and find your desperate bundle of nerves.

“You have no idea how delicious that first taste of you is. So fucking sweet.” 

There’s an edge to his words, as though he were jealous of your fingers, that they get to slide and tease between your legs and not his tongue.

There’s barely any friction beneath your index finger, but the soft glide combined with his grunted breaths above you has you clenching and it's near agony to keep your movements slow and controlled, fighting against every instinct in your body not to give in as your sex quivers, pleading for more.

So instead you pull your focus back to his cock and let your mouth move the way you wish your fingers could, quickly and hungrily sliding your lips along his shaft until with a sudden movement you take him into the back of your throat again and keep him there, your hand stroking the part of him you can't take.

“Christ,” he grits through his teeth, your scalp stinging from the quick jerk of his hand in your hair. “Not yet.” 

You can't tell if this is directed at you or himself as he swallows and releases a shuddered breath, his voice strained when he speaks again.

“Slide two fingers over your clit for me, now.” 

Relief ripples up your spine as you eagerly press through your drenched folds, fingers dragging against your swollen bud, unable to let out more than a choked sound as you push forward to keep his cock where it is in your throat, hot tears spilling over.

“Again.” 

Your touch grows rougher, matching his words, feeling the inevitable swell of pleasure growing as you float there, caught in the riptide of his voice.

”Want to go faster, don’t you?” Klaue rasps. “Want to reach down to feel how soaked your needy hole is?” 

You do, trembling fingers unable to help chasing the path of his words as if they were his tongue instead, sliding along your slick cleft and down to gather more of your arousal. 

Pleasure strings tighter when your fingers slide back up and over your clit, cursing  him internally as you gasp short breaths through your nose. You try to relax your throat even as every other muscle in your body draws tight, unsure how much longer you can keep yourself from falling over the edge.

You can’t really tell him, only your eyes can plead, I’m close, I’m so close it feels so good please let me come. 

“So used to begging with that pretty mouth.” He taunts with a breathless growl, reading your desperation, his lips curled in a grin at your half-delirious expression.

“It's alright, I know how good it's making you feel to use your mouth like this instead. Just like I know you’re going to make yourself come now.”

You're so close to lost that it takes a second for you to process his command, but when you do something in you snaps.

Your fingers immediately find a tight rhythm as you chase the swollen edge of pleasure, his fist gripping your hair tight to hold you firmly in place as your movements begin to grow frantic, unable to control any part of you as the blinding heat of your climax finally shocks through you.

The muscles of your throat spasm as your cunt flutters around nothing, desperate sounds caught in your chest as your hips buck and writhe against your fingers. Your other hand is entirely lost to any sense of rhythm and it drops to grasp at the fabric covering his thigh in an attempt to find purchase, and then suddenly his hand not in your hair is there, strong fingers twining tightly with yours, holding on to you as you fall apart.

“That’s it,” Klaue pants, his voice thick with lust and awe. “Choke on my cock while you come.”

You want to curse and cry and plead as ecstasy works its way through you in eddies and purls, and it almost feels like you might be drowning but you’re powerless to want anything else but to drown in him, trembling with relief as your fingers roughly work every pulse of pleasure from your clit.

As the waves begin to soften your other senses gradually filter back in: the ache in your throat and your jaw, the sting in your knees where they press into the floor, and when your body slackens as you start to come down he allows you pull back enough to properly catch your breath. 

Slowly you’re able to focus again, eyes damp and red rimmed as you look up at him, but you only have a brief moment to appreciate his pleased expression before his eyes go storm dark.

“Going to come in your mouth, now.”

Fingers tighten in your hair once more and then he’s moving. His thrusts are rough now with surrendered control as his hips chase a harsh rhythm, a low groan rolling through his chest that's woven together with your name as he finally gives in and takes what you'd promised. 

You attempt to tighten your lips around him as his rasping curses continue above you, but it’s no use, all you can do is kneel and relent to the slide of his cock filling your mouth again and again.

You want to beg him, words that fall so easily from your lips now when you sense that he’s about to let go for you, but you can only whine for it, your plaintive noises slipping messily around his cock until the pattern of his thrusts falters. And then, finally, there's only bliss when you hear his choked gasp as he stiffens, and you feel the first warm spurts of his spend coating your tongue.

With a low, open-mouthed moan he continues to fuck into the wet suck of your mouth, spilling himself across your lips and chin as well as your tongue until pearly ropes of cum are mixing with your drool, the mess of it dripping in slick stands off of your chin.

Then suddenly Klaue pulls out completely for the first time since this started and at first you can only gasp and cough, but when his hand wraps around himself your mouth instinctively drops open. Resting the head of his cock against the offering of your tongue he slowly strokes though the last pulses of his orgasm, making sure to give you every last drop, dragging through the slick mess with slow, sated thrusts until his fist gradually stills.

Eventually he pulls back though not away, panting and heavy lidded as he looks down at you where you kneel, a shining strand strung between his tip and your swollen lips that glisten with the pearly sheen he’s painted them with.

“Now you can swallow, darling.” 

You’re not sure if you should laugh or sob, but fighting both you make sure to keep your eyes on his as you curl your tongue back into your mouth and swallow, before dragging your fingers across your chin to gather the mess he left there, too.

A lazy smile curves his lips as he watches your mouth sliding around your fingers, and once you've cleaned as much as you can your hand drops, both of them resting on the tops of your thighs. 

Gently, the backs of Klaue’s fingers brush at the streaks of tears that are beginning to dry on your cheeks, then one slowly hooks under your chin to tip your head up, not letting you hide, leaving you startled by the affection that vines its way through your ribcage, burrowing into the want that even now burns hot. 

The want that folds into a desperation to please him, to give and take everything until the only thing left is your desire. 

You wish that you could explain it to him, that you could say something coherent, but any words you try to form seem to dissipate before they can reach your mouth, and you’re unsure that you could even articulate your thoughts as you sit in the filmy haze of your afterglow. 

So when you do open your mouth you're nearly as caught off guard by the words that come out as he is, your voice an almost unfamiliar, grateful rasp.

“Thank you.” 

Klaue’s satisfied grin falls away, his lips parting with a groaned sigh and then he’s reaching down, a hand curling around your bicep to pull you up to standing. You waver against the stiffness in your legs but he supports you, his palm again finding its place against your cheek.

He pauses, really taking in the state of you: your dazed expression and cock-swollen lips, standing there bruised and mussed and shirtless and pleased, his large hand brushing across your chin to catch more of the sheen there, words seeming to hover on the tip of his tongue.

The line between his brows deepens with a purse of his lips, a barely perceptible shake of his head. 

“You’re going to be the death of me, klein Mot.”

Then he's pulling you against him, his lips suddenly on yours and he's kissing you deeply, licking hungrily into your mouth and you swiftly grow breathless as he chases the taste of himself on your tongue. But just as you’re sinking into it, he pulls away. 

“Come here.” 

He turns with you, quickly crowding you back against his desk, hands reach down to wrap around your thighs and you quickly brace against the surface as he lifts you until you’re perched on the edge of it.

Your legs fall open easily as he moves forward, his focus coming to rest on you again as his hands slide up to circle your waist.

“You did so fucking well.” A smile tugs at his lips again as thumbs trail soft patterns against your bare skin. “Are you alright?” 

Warmth blooms at his concern, an unexpected contrast with what had just transpired.

“Yes.” You’re still finding your voice, still feeling like you're catching your breath, but you’re good. More than.

“You're sure?”

Leaning forward you slide your arms around his broad waist, hitching your legs up as well, drawing him into you.

“Yes, I promise.” You assure, brushing the ghost of a smile against his lips. “And…I promise that I won’t lie to you if anything is too much.”

“Good.” Klaue pulls back to look at you, a pleased edge of gold glinting in the blue before a more serious expression settles into the creases around eyes. “Because I'm going to keep pushing you.” 

You inhale sharply, a fresh throb of heat blooming in your still slick core as your legs tighten around his hips.

“I want you to, Ulysses,” you hum, slowly arching and rolling your center against him, feeling him still half hard where he'd tucked himself back into his pants. 

“I know, my darling.” His words are knowing and smooth with the edges singed dark, hands roving slowly over the soft flesh of your waist as he continues matter-of-factly. “But right now, you’re going to have some water, and then I’m going to make you come again.”

“Yeah?” You say hopefully as you continue to move against him, chasing the heat he so easily stokes in you with just a few words.

A slow nod and a rumbled confirmation. 

“I’m going to take care of you, now, Mot. I don’t need you to make any decisions today. Except for one.”

“Oh?” 

“Not how many times you’re going to come, that's up to me. But you’re going to tell me how.”

“God, Ulysses.” You’re burning with arousal now, every inch of your skin prickling hot. “That's all?”

“Will it be my fingers?” 

His hands brush further up your waist, thumbs teasing beneath the band of your bra to just brush against the sensitive curve of your breasts before trailing back down.

“Or my mouth?”

Leaning in his lips press against your neck, a silvered shimmer of nerves swirling out from the point where his tongue flicks out to taste your skin, your body swiftly surrendering to the heat of his promise.

“Or perhaps you’d like to straddle my thigh until you’ve made a lovely mess for me.”

A needy sound rends itself from your chest as his thumbs press into the sensitive creases where your hips meet your thighs, but just as you open your mouth to reply, a loud knock sounds on the door.

“Not right now.” Klaue calls out to whoever is in the hall without pulling away from you.

“Yes, now.”

“I’m not ask-”

“It’s a call you’ve been waiting for. There's a problem.”

Jaw clenching, he exhales a sharp breath.

“Just a minute,” he replies.

“You really need to-”

“Just a minute.” Klaue snaps, his head jerking towards the door and you jump, your legs tightening around him.

“Alright, alright.” 

The man’s voice trails off and it sounds like he’s moved down the hallway, at least for now. 

When he looks back at you you’re biting your lip, the look in his eye telling you he must have noticed your reaction to his tone.

“Think about what I asked.” 

You're about to reply that you will, but something occurs to you about the suggestions he’d given you.

“Wait, is.. is your cock not an option?” You give him a coy look through your lashes, intending to tease but still a little nervous that maybe it won't be.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to fuck you, darling. If you’re good.”

A thumb grazes the corner of your mouth, distracting you momentarily from what that means as you unconsciously flick your tongue out to meet it, earning you a knowing grin when you quickly pull away with a sheepish laugh.

“So?” He says, waiting for your confirmation of his request.

“I will. I’ll…think about it.” You're nearly panting now as the rock of your hips grows needier, shocked at how quickly you can feel another orgasm building already, if you just had a few more minutes you could-

“That’s all you’ll be doing, though. Yeah?” 

Strong hands tighten around your hips, pinning their faltering movement against him and you pull back with a frown.

“Are you saying…you want me to think about how I want to come, but I can’t- ”

“Smart girl, you did hear what I said.” His gaze sweeps over your face, and you barely manage not to scoff.

“Yes, I heard you. But I mean, I did already make myself come. I made that decision.”

Klaue tilts his head, mock curiosity knitting his brows.

“Did you?”

You open your mouth to argue but then close it again, pursing your lips together in a pout. He has a point, though: It may have been your fingers, but it was his words guiding you, and you only made yourself come when he told you that you would.

“I decide,” he repeats, and you bite back a whimper when he slowly grinds you against him again. “And I've decided you're going to wait.”

There’s another, more insistent knock at the door.

“Coming.” Suddenly letting go he steps back from you, not hiding his pleasure at your pained expression as he finds and hands you your shirt which you reluctantly put back on.

“I’ll walk you back to the main corridor.” He pauses with his hand on the doorknob and raises a brow, waiting for you to follow.

“Fine. I’ll think about it.” You finally say, pushing yourself off of the desk, not bothering to hide the frustration in your voice.

“I know you will, darling.” His certainty overlaps with a challenge as he opens the door. 

Be good, and you can come on my cock. 

You shudder when his hand quickly presses against your lower back as you move past him, even the brief pressure burns hot through the fabric of your shirt, and then the door clicks shut behind you.

So, you have to wait. Again. And though you’re getting good at it now, and even knowing that it won’t be long, you’re not sure how you’re going to make it, your nerves already on fire as you part and watch him walk away.

AN: As always thank you so much for reading! 🥰 The next chapter will not be nearly as long a wait since about 75% of it was already written before I decided to split this on up! Will it be soon soon? No, but it won't be quite as long as this break as this was! Though to be fair I did write two other fics (and a drabble), flew to London, and dealt with a personal loss, and then the recovery from of all the that plus y'know, life in general. But we're finally here, and I'm glad that I made it and can finally share this with you all!

Full disclosure I am not someone who works with propane, and while much of the information is based what I've been able to find online, the accident itself is based on the events of a real explosion at a propane plant that happened in Canada several years ago. So things are likely not necessarily going to be 100% correct, but there are real variables here that would explain something like this happening.

I also want to mention that there's a line in that that was actually the first (filthy) line of not just this chapter, but also of this entire part two. I was only around halfway through part one and was just realizing there would even be a part two (the line did end up changing a bit as the story evolved, but it's still in here. 😏). Also I wrote it, closed the doc, then opened Instagram and immediately saw that Andy was coming to to Toronto. And instantly panicked. So there's that. 😂

[cyten0]

A Symphony in Crimson

Act 2: A Movement in White

Chapter 2-B

𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢

You look over the holding tank. Vital signs are good. Your brother’s craft monitor says their body's balance has leaned more physical, but within expected and necessary parameters. Given the Starchild has woken up more then a few times, it seems the procedure is successful, so far…

They're little more then a baby at this point. It’s no wonder they didn’t survive re-entry into the atmosphere, even with whatever they are. But You’ll give them a second chance. They're alive, and you’ll keep them that way.

𝄆 “Hey, Song! Are things going well?”

Oh! Your dad decided to come to the lab! He ruffles your hair a little.

𝄢 “Yep! They're still unconscious right now, but they have woken up a few times!”

𝄆 “We should probably give them a name.”

𝄢 “Been a bit busy keeping them alive to come up with one.”

𝄆 “You probably should. You’re technically their parent at this point! Even having as many sleepless nights as Suki did with your brother.”

𝄢 “I’m 13, I don’t think I can count as a parent.”

𝄆 “As if being young ever stopped you before?… Well if you won’t, I will! Besides, There’s still a few notes missing in everyone’s nicknames!”

Oh STARS really?!? You have got to be kidding. A literal revived falling star should not be named by one of the cheesiest naming conventions your music nerd of a dad could come up with! You feel your face shift into anger hearing that.

And blinding PERFECT, your brother rounds the corner. And he’s got that stupid smug grin for a pun!!

𝄞 “I wonder what name we could have for our local… FA-llen star?”

Pftttt…. BLIND IT!!!! You hate that you laughed at that!!! Even dad got a chuckle out of that!

𝄆 “Okay, now we HAVE to call them Fa!

✦ “...F̴͈̽ă̸̭?̶͍͗”

Huh?! Oh, their awake!

𝄞 “Hello! Do you like that name, Fa?”

✦ “F̵̪͐a̷̧͐!̵͔͒”

𝄆 “I think that’s a yes!”

… Your face shifts back… If they like it, that’s what matters...

𝄢 “...It appears I’m outvoted.”

You put your hand against the glass. You’d let them out, but that virus you used is still rather active for now. They press their tiny hands where yours are, reaching for you. They're so small and fragile. And even now, they're still adjusting to the forces you’ve put into play, to salvage their once dead body and mind into something that can live. You just hope it’s worth it in the end...

… You’ll do anything for them. Blind the Astravian faith, you don’t care how sacred a fallen star is! They deserve to live! Even if your methods are considered heresy by the entire nation. Even if it’ll take effort. Even if you have to change what they are on a fundamental level. You don’t care who comes for you both.

As long as they live, you don’t care. You will make sure they don’t have to suffer what you went through, before mom and dad saved you. Don’t have to hide away and pretend to be someone they aren’t, just because they're different. To be discarded like trash, left for dead, because people don’t blinding care. Because people are scared of what they don’t understand.

The world called them a corpse. Will call them a monster. But It’s up to them.

You will be there for them, as others were for you. And you will make sure. That they get to live, and find out who they are, without the world telling them.

𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢

As Fa hangs up the phone, you can’t help but think back on that memory. When they were still so innocent. When they had their own face and name. When the world hadn’t hurt them.

And now. Now they looked like they could barely hold themselves together. Wearing a face of someone else. You doubt they even know what Siffrin did to them...

… At least they have people near them who can help. Who seem to care for them. Who they can be themselves at least a bit around, given they had their eyes and horn out. And clearly people who love them.

❁ “Well, if the crabbing saviors of Vaugarde are with them, Think both Bonnie and your Fa should be safe enough.”

♫ “Actually, I was kind of wondering about that. Could you tell us more about what happened? If that’s okay of course! I know it must be rough!”

Nille looks at you all, scanning you all for information. As is fair, you are strangers.

❁ “...If you tell me what happened to YOUR country.”

...Reasonable. But very unpleasant. Nobody want’s to talk about it. You literally see them cringe at the idea. You all were at fault, in some way or another. Still hurting by all that occurred. Still seeing the faces of those lost… Still wishing you had done things differently...

But someone has to say it. Even though it’s horrible, and you’re scared Nille will take this tale poorly, It has to be done, and it’s better it’s done early. You can do it… But…

𝄢 “Very well, I’ll tell, but not here. Like I said before, I don’t want to stir up a panic from eavesdroppers or rumors.”

Given some people here are holding their heads, you presume SOME were listening in. But you're not trusting that wish's abilities with information like this, if you can help it.

𝄡 “...Let’s head out. Early start.”

❁ “Fine. Faster we reach Carrefour, the better.”

You all get up. You go and pay for the meal. Glad the royal treasury kept Vaugardian currency to deal with your neighbors. You then join the others on the way out.

>>>

You’ve walked for almost two hours, and are frankly exhausted. As is Mi clearly. Neither of you are used to outdoor traveling like this! Much less long treks like this!! Nille seems somewhat more adjusted, but even they aren’t fully used to it. You’d blame the vigor of youth if it wasn’t for Mi. And of course, the three blinding Bladeheart knights are completely unfazed!!!

Ugh, that's it, enough is enough.

𝄢 “Right, I’m making an executive decision. Even if it draws more attention, I don’t think I can walk any longer. Ti, PLEASE just summon the car?”

Ti smiles and nods, as the party stops walking. Ti pulls out their staff, and begins tracing their summoning sigil on the ground. You and Mi plop down, taking the moment to breathe and rest. Nille walks up to you, confused.

♪ “Called it. Re, pay up.”

♯ “Aw… Fine! Knew I shouldn’t have taken that bet.”

♪ “As if her Highness was going to make it till sunset.”

Re hands La some silver. Really? Well now you’re in irritate mode.

♫ “Thank you So.”

𝄢 “Ugh. There goes the LAST little trace of that ‘blend in’ plan. BLIND it all.”

Nille just looks at you all, very confused.

❁ “… Why are we stopping, and what’s a car?”

𝄢 “We are stopping, because I am a scientist, and as such, far more used to sitting in a lab then walking SEVERAL miles. So we are not doing this BLINDING trip on foot.”

♫ “And a car is-”

In a flash of craft power, the car slowly materializes into place on the road. Right on cue.

♫ “… That. That’s a car.”

It’s a pretty decent model. Sleek, retractable roof, and adorned with brass accents against it’s otherwise lightless body. Plenty of seating, should fit you all no issue. Not the most intense off-roader, but should be able to handle Vaugarde’s roads well enough. Does have a decent AC unit and music player, as your dad REFUSED to get one without that. Should let you all go a decent pace too, which means reaching Fa earlier, as you very DESPERATELY want to do.

And most importantly of all, it’s not more BLINDING walking.

Your face shifts back to normal just looking at it. Now, important next point.

𝄢 “Good. Alright, who’s driving, myself or Ti?”

You are never letting La or Re drive again, so that’s the only options left.

𝄡 “Best you go first. That was a big summon.”

𝄢 “Alright. Hop in everyone.”

You slowly pick yourself up from the ground, walk around to the drivers seat, and hop in. The others get in as well, though Nille seems a bit hesitant and confused. Ti puts your camping supplies in the trunk, and then hops in himself. This car is somewhat Limo-like in seating, so they can all sit in a nice circle while you stay up here on your own, until someone wants to hop into the passenger seat.

❁ “Okay, this looks really fancy, but I’m still confused. It looks like a weird carriage or something.”

♯ “That’s right on the mark! Works just like a carriage! And it’s comfy!”

❁ “Okay, but we don’t have a horse?”

Better just demonstrate. You start the car up, and it thrums to life. Nille jumps a bit at that, and you start it moving. You keep it slow and steady, as you hear them talk behind you.

❁ “Oh. Okay. So just. Magic.”

𝄢 “Just craft and some decent Astravian tech. Though I’ll admit this model is a bit more advanced then most.”

♫ “Oh, we should get some music going!”

You hear Mi pull out their guitar and plug it in. And then her ever-great music fills the car. Heh, she even has a track to play some of Fa’s vocals… You know this song, Fa sang it on their first day out. You’re so glad Mi helped them sing more often. Tracks like these remind you of better times…

As everyone relaxes, and Re shows Nille some more of the little features, you simply take in the road. Have a few more hours to go till it gets dark and you set up camp.

This is a far nicer way to travel. You keep the car going fairly slow, since these roads are built for foot traffic and carts. Slow pace means it’ll take longer, but it also means no accidentally running someone over or anything. You want to see Fa soon, but your reason wins out in the end.

After little more then a few minutes, Nille climbs over into the passenger seat.

❁ “Alright, I’ve waited long enough. You said you’d tell me about what happened to your home.”

Ah, right. Guess this is a good time as any.

𝄢 “Right, and you’d tell about what happened here. So then, you want to go first or should I? Personally I’d rather do mine after, given it’s a very sore subject.”

❁ "A sore subject after seven years?"

𝄢 "Yes. It was VERY bad. And we were... very close to it's center."

Nille thinks for a bit. They seem hesitant.

❁ “...Promise you’ll tell if I do?”

𝄢 “Of course, Promise. You deserve to know, if you're traveling with us... For many reasons.”

You see in the front mirror that Nille is looking directly at you. You wonder if they can see the guilt on your face…

❁ “Fine.”

Nille recounts to you the story of the King’s curse. How someone used what you presume to be wishcraft to slowly freeze the entire country in time. How they were powerful enough to fight off anyone sent against them. How they commanded the very sadnesses created from the trauma their actions inflicted.

How everyone was living in fear, trying to cope in their own way with the fact there was no way to stop it… How no one told her it was coming before it was on their doorstep.

❁ “… When it came by.. I didn’t know if we’d ever wake up. I… When I pushed Bonnie out of the way of the curse, called out to them to run… I thought that would be the last thing I did. When I felt that curse creeping up my legs and into my body… It was so cold, and I couldn’t move, or breathe or… or...”

You notice her shaking. You get it. Watching everything fall apart, unsure of what to do. Not sure if you’ll make it… And this curse.. It must have been horrible. They remind you of Fa, back in the day...

𝄢 “You did well. And now both of you are okay. That’s the best anyone could have asked for.”

❁ “...Yeah.”

♪ “So that’s what that timecraft was when we first arrived. Most likely wishcraft.”

❁ “Wishcraft?”

♪ “Astravian art. Turns one’s desires into the tools to make it happen. One of the few known ways to actually alter something like time. But freezing a whole country…”

𝄡 “Best ask Fa and the others how that happened. That’s a lot of power for one person.”

♯ “Yeah, even us Bladeheart knights don’t get THAT strong!”

Nille looks confused by that comment, but doesn’t seem interested enough right now to press it.

❁ “Well, it’s now your turn. What happened to your home?”

Right. This isn’t going to be easy…

You do as your brother once did. Like Ti taught you both. Breath in. And breathe out. In. And out….

Alright. Where to start…

𝄢 “… Let me start this off with the roughest part… There are no other survivors. Everyone on that island is dead or worse.”

Nille goes stiff. Trying to process that.

𝄢 “I did warn you. It’s not good… But that’s not the only reason we’re hesitant to talk about it…”

Nille waits, then nods, curious for more… Very well. If their not deterred.

𝄢 “… I’ll work our way backwards. The basics of what occurred is that a highly infectious, mind and body altering plague swept the entire country. Those infected would mutate rapidly, then hunt down any living creature and consume them, converting the remains into more infected. The only reason we had any survivors is because there was a mind in charge of the plague that was trying to stop it. Had someone not sabotaged our bunker, we would have had a couple hundred survivors.”

❁ “Hold, on, step back, a plague that can think? And you said it was Holding back?!? What and how in the crab?!? Are any of you infected?!”

♪ “I assure you, none of us are infected. Even if the infection method wasn’t highly obvious and visible, none of the infected would even touch us, due to said mind in charge, though there were some close calls.”

It was horrible. Watching those creatures try and attack you, only for you to hear them rip themselves apart, begging and screaming to stop in Fa’s voice… They tried so hard...

𝄡 “We did double check everything on the ship, and ourselves, before we came ashore though. Just in case.”

❁ “...Fine. As long as you're sure.”

𝄢 “Yes. As for the thinking plague thing, It… It was… The source was someone I had saved... a long time ago. They had full conscious control of that plague originally, which kept them alive. But then someone ruined that. Lied to them, told them they could clear the plague entirely. We didn’t stop them in time…”

He knew the risks. Knew Fa couldn’t just wish away their symptoms but… He still had them try it, and now...

❁ “Wait, are you implying-”

𝄢 “That I made the plague in the first place? Yes. It was my responsibility to them not to let this happen, and I failed them.”

You feel your hands clench the wheel. If you had just been there, if you had persuaded your stupid brother to stop, if you had warned Fa of the dangers…

❁ “I guess you probs regret that now huh?”

The car jolts to a stop as you slam the brakes. Your face shifts into it’s most vicious expression as you turn to them. You will NOT take that.

𝄢 “No. I would do it a thousand more times. They deserved to live.”

❁ “I, look, I wasn’t- I mean...”

𝄢 “...Bonnie is your siblings name, yes? If it had been poor innocent Bonnie, would YOU have left them to die?”

Nille freezes, looking at you. Horrified.

𝄢 “If people told you to kill Bonnie with your own two hands, because it MIGHT save others, could you blinding do it?”

Nille can’t meet your gaze.

𝄡 "Song-"

𝄢 “I thought not. But let me tell YOU, Petronille. They were an INFANT. But because of what they were, All of Astravia was willing to leave them for DEAD. I was the ONLY one who even CARED to save them. I do NOT regret my choice. No matter what changes, I will ALWAYS stand by that decision.”

You look away from them. Trying to get back to normal.

𝄢 “... If anything, I regret not doing enough."

… Ugh. You start the car moving again. You don’t look at Nille. You get they weren’t there but you refuse to even humor that idea. And you will put it in the ground now. You would never be the kind of person who willingly let’s people die.

NONE of this changes how you feel for them. NONE of this makes you regret having saved them. Even though everything has changed, in the end, You will NOT let that change.

>>>

… The trip continues, in relative silence. Nobody has anything to say. To any of this. When you all make camp at nightfall, you do it in silence.

As you lie down in your tent… You just… Blind it all!

You start to cry. You failed them. You failed them! You failed Fa, You failed your Brother, You failed your parents, You failed the survivors!

You even failed the Empress Arcana! She told you to keep them safe! That was the price of that gift! That it would save Fa! And now! And now!!!

Now, everything is GONE. Fa doesn’t remember you, your home is gone, your brother is gone, and Fa. Fa’s been hurt. Hurt so badly just seeing you nearly brought them to tears. Stars, you just wish you could charge over there and comfort them now!

...You just hope Fa doesn’t remember that day. That the memories of that day are as lost as those of you all. Then at least it’ll be a mercy. One burden you can carry for them. Blind it, you really hope! But something in the back of your mind says otherwise…

Hah. You’re a terrible mother, aren’t you?

[wine-dark-soup]

Re: what in the seven hells are the elementals

The nature of the elementals has been the source of GREAT confusion and, in my opinion, it always felt like the writers tiptoed around it because the twelveswood went through great changes after 1.0 to try and correct gameplay and lore issues... which they succeeded to do... although... partly.

The elementals went from terribly potent entities who could curse you with the greenwrath (meaning. death. plain and simple) to mostly passive entities that lost their power and can only voice their discontentment.

So like, seems quite simple, right? powerful thing lost its power. but if it stopped there i wouldn't be writing that post. the elementals were feared as much as they were respected, and since they became passive forces... this fear... remained. you must not anger the elementals. not just listen to their counsel through the conjurers and padjal. you must not anger them. but then: why don't gridanians take action? i mean, technically, they do, there are plenty of quests done in the name of the elementals. but if the elementals call to you to kill invasive beasts, why don't they do just that to solve the rampant injustice - racism, inequalities, etc - existing in the twelveswood? surely injustice means the balance of the forest (which they are the wardens of) is disrupted? surely the elementals should be mad?

and so players were left with this for uuuuh a solid decade with no real explanation as to why things were that way. the elementals were mentioned here and there as happy or sad or angry, depending on your actions. and you know, that's fine. nice fantasy tool and all. AND THEN.

Nophica tells you, in the quest The Heart of the Myth:

"Tell me, have you ever met an elemental? Many hold that they were born of me, and as I mentioned, they are the voice of those who abide in the Twelveswood. At times, they may seem excessive in their actions, but it is out of an abundance of love. So pray be good to them, and heed their warnings!"

THEY ARE THE VOICE OF THOSE WHO ABIDE IN THE TWELVESWOOD.

I REPEAT: THEY ARE THE VOICE OF THOSE WHO ABIDE IN THE TWELVESWOOD.

The natural-considered-divine entities and the common people were ONE AND THE SAME ALL ALONG. It's like the writers finally gave closure to that plothole in a single sentence.

It makes perfect sense: the elementals from 1.0 were dangerous creatures because the world was full of madness and on the brink of destruction (and also gridanians were more hostile to the outside world, which is why the elementals didn't welcome strangers and cursed them with the greenwrath).

The elementals from 2.0 onwards are thus less powerful because the will of the people got broken after the calamity, and, as the plot goes on, you can interpret their silence as a sign peace is coming back to the world. or their massive fear as a sign a threat is looming.

This is great! I love that! Just like the Endwalker tank rolequests have stressed, balance in the black shroud is actually actively maintained by mutual concord between its inhabitants. So retroactively, this is why people were finally allowed to dwell in the woods and leave their caves: the elementals - the people themselves - were ready to work together to make this place their home.

That makes the elementals mini-primals, sort of, i guess.

OK, it's all well and good, BUT IT DOES RAISE MORE QUESTIONS.

number 1 being: what are padjal exactly then?

i'll make a tentative answer: it's established that the will and faith of the people can alter the appearance and very nature of things. so if the first dwellers of the twelveswood decided - albeit unconsciously - they needed people to decipher their own will, they manifested them. babies were born with distinctive signs (horns and long lives) and powers (the ability to listen to the elementals).

that implies one can't always listen or understand their own desires, wants, or fear, and needs an interpret. which is great imo. i sure don't know what i'm doing a lot of the time. the padjal thus became the living symbol of the forest's balance - and you turn to them if said balance is disrupted. And if they are balance itself, it stands to reason the elementals would grant them and only them the power to wield white magic.

of course, that also implies padjal are just vessels, just like ysayle was to shiva, for example. and we know how bad that was for one's humanity and sense of self. there could be a whole thing about that and how damaging it is or how, conversely, it could be a sign of concord, but we have to content ourselves with the guardian tree speaking through kan-e-senna turned oracle as a symbol of union.

number 2: SPEAKING OF, what is the guardian tree then?

I have no real answer for this one. It's made of aether and it's very ancient; it may be the Ultimate elemental. The will of the forest and its people made visible.

(there could be questions about why the elementals were seemingly made of aether if they are mostly manifestations of dynamis, but after all, primals are born of a mix of aether concentration AND prayers - dynamis - so if we accept they're a sort of primals, here is that. but why are their aether differently aspected? because people can, too, shape their aether so it bends towards a particular element?)

number 3: OKAY. BUT THEN, IF THE ELEMENTALS ARE THE PEOPLE ARE THE ELEMENTALS, WHY DON'T THEY STILL SOLVE ALL THEIR PROBLEMS? WHY DON'T THE SEEDSEERS ACT? HEH?

yeah. yeah. that's still strange. but i think it boils down to what i said earlier: the will of the people may not necessarily lead to good things - e.g racism creates the need to go through a ritual to prove the elementals you're worthy of living in the forest. and the people don't necessarily know how to interpret what they feel and see. and the summoning of primals didn't solve the problems the beast tribes faced.

In short the elementals are a symbol of balance but themselves - the people - disagree about the way to reach balance. this shows the limits of the padjal's role. they still have to serve everyone... but everyone disagrees on what makes them happy... but the padjal see the balance (or hear it, i guess) in their mind and know they can't let it tip one way or the other...

i suppose this is why we mostly see individual actions in the game: we have to treat one problem of the woods at a time. the closest we get to a real manifestation of balance is again at the end of the EW tank rolequests. everyone agrees to work in unison and recognizes kan-e-senna's efforts, even if they're not enough. so now the forest is more peaceful, though not completely, but if everyone works towards achieving a longlasting peace, the elementals are pleased, because that peace is what the people wants.

one can imagine they're now working on solving their systemic racism and class issues... but ok, that last part is wishful thinking. the way they treated this was clearly a bad writing problem that they never recovered from. they could, if they wanted, we KNOW how good the writing team is now, but i think they're off to new horizons and have been for at least five years. the "the elementals are the voice of those who abide in the twelveswood" was intended, in my opinion, to give us some answers before moving to the game's next arc for good.

unless one day they come back to developing the city states (and gridania most of all, maybe through the void plotline?) again but who knows.

[cozzzynook]

Omg love the Roddy angst! Can we have some Roddy tenderness to balance it out? His Lover(s) caring for him, cuddling and being sweet?

“What are you doing?”

Turning from the mixer, a bowl of glowing sweet energon in his servos, resting on the top of his large swollen tank, Rodimus raised his optic ridges in surprise and inquiry at Drifts sudden appearance and question.

“What are you doing back so soon Drift? Did you get to leave your shift early?”

Rodimus didn’t see a problem at all with his question but it seems Drift did and so did Ratchet who joined the swords mech in the doorway to their hab suite.

“Kid what are you doing up at this hour?”

Oh yeah. Thats right.

It was midnight and his newly conjunx weren’t off shift early but off shift on time.

He was the one who was up early.

But thats because he couldn’t recharge without them both by his side. Along with their sparklings who were craving something so fierce it woke him from his light power down when he actually managed to enter a form of recharge.

“They woke me up wanting something sweet,” he rested a servo beneath the round ball of his tanks that wouldn’t let him see his own pedes, rubbing the sensitive plating to feel a hyperactive kick that he can’t help loving but wishing would stop hurting.

It was Drift who snuck up on Rodimus and slid his servos along his tanks putting them beneath the heavy girth and slowly, ever so gently lifting the heavy weight making Rodimus’s shoulders drop all tension and ex-vent with a serious relief he drops his helm back onto Drifts shoulder close to his neck cables.

“See Roddy? You should be resting in the berth. You could’ve called us and asked for your craving. We would’ve made it for you.”

Ratchet came and took the bowl that was snug atop Rodimus’s tanks, tasting some of the energon and humming in approval. He began making the dish he knew their sparklings often made Rodimus crave. He planted a kiss to Rodimus’s cheek and then Drift’s forehelm. Giving Drift a nod when the swords mech helped slowly shift Rodimus back into their suite and into their nest.

The heavy sigh of relief from Rodimus told them he’d been standing for a while.

At this stage, the second phase of carrying, typically bots wouldn’t be this huge or tired but since himself and Drift managed to pump Rodimus full with two heavy sparklings, he was far bigger than normal.

He was mixing the energon where Rodimus left off putting the sweet treat in the freezer instead of the oven like most would do. This particular dish was normally served hot but their sparklings wanted the treat cold and so Rodimus ate the dish as a frozen dessert. It was still delicious but they monitored how much he consumed since it was far sweeter like this.

“Ratty come quick.”

The light laugh from Drift told him Rodimus had fallen into recharge and when he walked inside their berthroom to see Rodimus indeed had fallen asleep, he smiled.

“Fuels done,” Ratchet announced quietly, moving to lay on the other side of the berth.

They wanted Rodimus to sleep in the middle since his carrying began but he said he couldn’t rest comfortably there anymore and he wanted them to be able to cuddle each other and they couldn’t with Rodimus having to sleep on propped up pillows sitting up.

“Did you imagine we could have this?”

“This? A family? Being conjunx? Living peacefully? Being happy?”

“Yeah,” Drift whispered, touching his cheek as he laid on his side.

Rodimus was snoring lightly and they couldn’t stop a small laugh from freeing itself.

“I’d lost hope quite a few times honestly,” Ratchet was able to smile, “but meeting you two..being here beside you even before everything officially started. Gave me the hope I once feared.”

“Aw Ratty you really are a sap,” Drifts teasings were cut short by Ratchet elbowing him and Rodimus venting as he tried to shift.

“Watch it kid, or else I’ll really pull out the big guns.”

“Oh yeah? I used to be a gun slinger baby. I can take it.”

Ratchet smirked trying to hide how funny he thought Drifts words were as he closed his optics.

The two held each other, em field surrounding Rodimus who was so deep in recharge his own em field made them tired.

The feeling was welcome though because they were safe in their nest with their conjunx resting as he should be while the two talked quietly until they fell to recharge themselves.

Life was good.

[beardysuits]

Bearing it All

I have had my eyes on this guy for some time. He was a regular at the gym I had been set to live the rest of my afterlife in. Just three days into trying to turn my life around as an obese middle aged loser, I had suffered a cardiac arrest while using the treadmill. Since then, I’ve oggled at all kinds of men who still frequented the gym after my passing, all of them getting ahead of their health a I should have when I was alive. After so much time seeing macho guys working out and spying on them in the shower, my eyes happened upon him and I became obsessed 

See, he reminded me a lot of myself when I was in my youth. Same build, cute little face and beard, and a certain shyness to him that I found adorable. He would come in almost every day, working on his stamina and cardio, but the better days were when he would lift and I could begin to see the muscles hidden under neath his pudgier layer begin to emerge. Each day that I saw him, I could feel my lust for him growing. I was obsessed. I had to have him. 

One day while after what looked like an especially tiring workout, he walked back into the changing room alone. Even as a spirit, I felt as I could practically smell the musk which must have been permeating off of him. I tried my best to smell him, creeping closer, my translucent hands reaching out to play with his developing pecs. I went for a squeeze and my fingers fazed through him, but as they did, I could actually feel. He shivered in response and rubbed his arms in a feeble attempt to gain warmth. 

I felt something! For the first time in years I felt air pass through my fingertips. My hunger for more was insatiable and I lunged forward, hoping that my new assumptions would prove true. His body encased me and my entire essence was overwhelmed with new sensations. I could smell, I could feel, I could taste. But it was all darkness as I tried to adjust, fill my entire being inside of him. I felt him fall to the ground, but I stayed right in place. 

It was like I was putting on a suit. My legs slid down his meaty thighs and calves, my much pudgier arms felt constricted as even his more bulbous arms were tight around me. I began to pant, the pleasure of feeling all of him, hugging me like he was a warmth sheath. I felt a surge and it was like, my head was pushed through a tunnel. In mere seconds I felt a ringing in my ears and throbbing in my head as every sensation I hadn’t experienced in years all came at once. And then, it stopped. 

The pounding of noise became distant as it was replaced by overhead 80’s rock and the overwhelming sensation was become familiar. The ground beneath me was cold tile. I opened my eyes to see myself looking at the ground, and hands which did not belong to me were holding me up. I picked one up and turned it around in front of me, the familiarity of the meaty fingers and strong grip coming back to me. No fucking way…

I staggered up, looking down and seeing the black tank top I was desperate to smell only moments ago. Getting used to my footing, I fumbled as I stepped forward, finally finding my balance and rushing to the closest mirror. My eyes adjusted only for a moment to see the sexy face of my obsession looking back at me! His mouth was agape and his eyes were the size of dinner plates. I touched my chest, feeling the barrel chest which he had been working so hard for. He was so hairy under these clothes! 

I made a few faces in the mirror, astonished as he mimicked each one of them back at me. I laughed, caressing my new beard through my stolen hands. Holy shit! I possessed the guy! Why did I never think of doing this before? I ran my hands down my arms, feeling the biceps he had worked so hard on. My nose was close enough I could smell his musk seeping out. I lifted my arm and stuck my face straight into his furry pit, inhaling deeply. 

Fuck I missed the smell of this! His scent made my new cock tent in his workout shorts. Ooh, now that should have been the first thing I checked out. I grabbed it through the material, feeling his thick shift trying to break free of the confides of the fabric. I rubbed my hands along it, feeling it somehow grow even further. God damn, I missed this. The tingling of ecstasy shivered through me for the first time in ages. I had edged myself the point of completion when I heard voices entering the locker room. I reluctantly relinquished my grasp and walked back towards the lockers. 

As I passed by a couple of gym bros, I nodded to them. We made eye contact for a moment before one of them looked down and his eyes lingered on my shorts. I looked down and saw these were even tighter than I thought, the outline of my cock was pressed out in full display. Looking back at him, I winked and moved on, too eager to keep seeing what my new life had for me. 

I had been watching today and knew which locker he had used, even knew his combination. Opening up the locker, I found his backpack and ruffled through it until I found what I was looking for, his wallet. Undoing the leather casing, I found his license and finally had a name for the sexy son of a bitch: Barney Mathews. Well Barney, looks like there’s somebody new in control. There was a vibration from my pocket, I reached in and found his cell phone. The background was of him and another sexy little bear, the two of them sitting at a bench with an arch of flowers behind him. 

There was a text on the screen reading: “Can you pick up some milk on the way home babe?” 

I opened up the message and read through the history. This was Ryan, Barney’s boyfriend. Apparently they had been dating some time and I could get a small glimpse of their lives together. Barney was a sweetheart, always being affectionate, saying his “I love you’s”, reassuring Ryan things would be okay when he was anxious. I was in love, there’s no way I was going to let Barney go now. But, maybe we could make some adjustments; improvements if you will. 

I went back to the message and sent Ryan a quick one back, letting him know I’d take care of things but would be back a little late. I knew that there was a quick stop I wanted to make before I came home to my new boyfriend. 

----------------

Driving was easier than I thought it would be after so much time not being behind a wheel, it was like riding a bike. I knew before I made it back to my new home, I wanted to stop by an old stomping ground of mine. The city had a fetish shop which drew in gay men like flies to honey. I had been there a handful of times to buy some toys, but I always felt out of place. The staff was nice enough, but it was clear the clientele was for a younger and more attractive type. Now, I was both. 

I stepped foot inside, hearing the ring of the bell which I had come to miss after so long without it. There was a cute little twunk behind the counter, flipping through a magazine, his attention directed to the bell once I walked in. I saw an eyebrow raise as he eyed me up, my new confidence making me stand far taller and broader than I ever observed Barney being. 

“Welcome, anything I can help you with?” He asked, dog earring the magazine. I sauntered to the counter and put my hands down, making sure to flex my new biceps at him. 

“Actually, I’m looking for a quick revamp of my wardrobe,” I told him, looking at the wall behind him. On it was an array of jocks, leather shorts, vests, caps, you name it. If it held any inclination to a kink, it was there. 

“I think I can help with that,” he said, his gaze fixated on my arms and chest. “What exactly are you looking for?” I rapped my fingers on the glass counter. 

“Leather,” I told him. “I wanna shine, smell like a Harley, and be ready for anything.” He clicked his tongue and pulled reached up to a harness on the wall. His shirt lifted and I could see just above the waistband of his jeans the jock he had on. He took a little longer than necessary to grab what he was reaching for, his lower body swaying as he did so. He peaked over his shoulder and smirked, finally holding the harness. 

“I think this should fit you,” he said, placing it on the counter. I reached out and traced my finger over the leather, the metal studs were cool and sent a shiver down my arm. 

“And if you wanted anything in the same vein,” he continued. “That section right over there is perfect.” He pointed out the far wall, where racks of leather clothes were displayed. 

“Thanks,” I told him. “You going to be where I leave you if I need anything?” He nodded. 

“Always happy to help,” he replied, slinking back. I grabbed the harness and walked back to the section he had pointed out. I passed through the aisles of clothes, my fingers running across the rows of leather as the intoxicating smell wafted through my new nostrils. God I missed the feel of the fabric, I was a huge fan in my old life, but never found anything that fit my massive frame. Here, I could see myself being a solid XXL, which looks like they were right about… here. 

I reached the end of the rack and found a whole array of clothes my new size. Shirts, vests, shorts, you name it. I licked my lips, my cock bulging out as I thought of playing dress up as Barney. I pulled a few items from the rack; a pair of pants, shirt, vest, shorts and finally a nice little hat to finish the look. I remembered where the changing room was located and made my way there, looking at the hunk behind the counter, who eyed my hungrily as I walked into the small room. 

I immediately stripped down, my cock bouncing out from under the musky gym shorts. Now that I was naked for the first time as Barney, I began to grope myself. My hands exploring every inch of his sexy chubby body. My squeezed his tits, twisting his nipples as shivers traveled down my spine. I watched myself in the mirror as I made Barney whimper, his new owner flush with eroticism. I opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out, as if I was begging for cum to coat my throat. I didn’t even dare touch my cock, wanting to save every pump of my load for my new boyfriend. 

With my heart pounding with lust, I picked up the harness given to me by the clerk, a new vest and leather shorts. I slipped them on, the shorts especially clinging to my meaty thighs. Once I fitted the harness and threw on the vest, I looked once more at the mirror and whistled to myself. Fuck Barney… If only you knew how fucking sexy you were. I bet you never even thought about wearing one item of this attire. I was about to grope my cock even more when I heard a knock at the door. 

“How’s it going in there?” The familiar ring of the clerk’s voice called out. I opened the door and raised leaned with one arm against the doorframe. His eyes bulged for a quick moment before clearing his throat. 

“I saw you walk back with your goodies and couldn’t let you try those on without adding these to the getup,” he said. I looked down to see him holding a pair of army boots. Perfect….

“You have good taste,” I told him. “You sure those going to fit on me?” He shrugged. 

“I’m pretty good at guessing a man’s size. Thought you’d need something a little bigger,” he said, glancing down at my bulge. I twitched it for him, winking at him. 

“Let’s see how good you are then,” I told him. There was a small bench in the room, I sat on it as he closed the door behind him. He knelt down, grabbing my right foot as he did so. Holding it up, he slid the boot on, biting his bottom lip as he did so. Once my heel slipped into the sole of the boot, it felt like a perfect fit. I lifted it up and pressed it against his sculpted jawline, pushing his face slightly to the side to get a better look at him. 

“Looks like you know what you’re doing after all,” I told him. He smirked and stuck his tongue out, licking the top of the boot and sliding it down until he reached my ankle. 

“You don’t even know the half of it,” he responded. I smirked and laid back, my back resting against the wall. 

“Get to it then,” I ordered him. 

He was quick to get the other boot on, sliding my foot in place just right once more. He was leaning forward, pushing my toe further into place. As he did so, his face grew further and further closer to my crotch, where the smell of my musk permeated through the leather. I took my leg and cradled it gently behind his neck, pulling him closer until his lips were pressed against my balls. He inhaled deeply and sighed, then proceeded to lap his tongue across the leather. I pressed my leg agains him further, pressing his whole face in between my thighs, forcing him to only smell me. His hands traveled across my hairy thighs and groped at them. I couldn’t wait any more, I need to actually feel my cock inside of something. As if he had read my mind, he pulled my shorts down and freed my dick, it springing out and revealing the small pool of precum it had accumulated. 

His lips wrapped around the head, pulling it deeper and deeper into his mouth. My shaft glided past his lips and slithered to the back of his throat. He never even winced, taking the whole cock like a champ. I threw my head back and moaned, relishing in my first blowjob in at least a decade. I freed him from my leg’s grasp and let him take over. He bobbed his head up and down, the gathering of saliva around the base of my cock pooled over and dribbled down my leg. I gritted my teeth and clenched at the bench, it was becoming too much for me to hold back. 

“Fuck boy, I’m cumming!” I yelled out. He picked up the speed until the rush of adrenaline released and spurt after spurt of cum pumped out of me. With each load I gave him, it flowed down his throat as he swallowed every last drop. I was breathing heavily as I regained my senses. Looking down, I saw the clerk relinquish my dick and lick his lips. With a smile, he dropped his arms up on my knees. 

“Now, will that be cash or charge?” He asked. 

I found my way to Barney’s apartment thanks to his ID and thankfully it was the same one listed. I had already given myself a tour, admiring the decor which he and Ryan had accumulated over the years. He had texted me back just as I finished my little stint at the shop, stating he would be home within the hour. That gave me just enough time to set up the goodies I had bought for a real fun night together. 

I changed into the leather shirt, hat, gloves, and pants which I had acquired. I rubbed my new belly as it was strained against the leather shirt, feeling the taught belly react to my fingers tracing themselves over it. I had heard the door unlock and I smiled, eager to begin our night. 

“Babe? You home?” Ryan called out. He closed the door behind him. He set something on the kitchen counter by the front door and paused, he must be reading the note I left him telling him to enter the bedroom. I could hear him chuckle. 

“Okay….? What’s going on?” He called out. I heard the foot steps and the door opened. I had placed candles around the bedroom, drew the curtains and allowed for only the light from the flames give any glimmer of sight. As he looked around the room, he saw me, arms folded, flexing my biceps and forearms at him, tilting my head and giving him a cock eyed grin. 

“What is all this?” He asked with a nervous laugh. 

“This,” I told him, “Is my little treat to you.” He looked amused, uneasy, and inquisitive. He stepped closer, closing the door behind him, removing any outside light that would impede on the atmosphere I had set up. 

“You know,” he said, “All I asked for you to get on your way home was milk.” 

“Forgot the milk,” I told him. I grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him in. “But I made sure to bring plenty of cream,” I growled. I leaned in and kissed him, my tongue ensnaring his. He did little to fight back, submitting to me almost instantly. He body sunk a little, his inhibitions drifting away. When I pulled away, he looked gob smacked. 

“Wow babe, what’s gotten into you?” He asked. His glasses had fogged up from my breath trailing down his face. 

“Just decided to have a little fun,” I told him. I removed his glasses and tossed them to the side. “Now, let’s get to playing.” I grabbed at the buttons of his shirt and ripped them apart, revealing his furry chubby body. He was just as sexy as Barney and it drove me wild. I leaned down, clamping one of his nipples with my teeth and nibbling at them. Ryan moaned and fell back, but I was quick to get one of my gloved hands on his lower back to hold him steady. He shivered from the touch, but did nothing to pull away from me. 

I released his nipple and trailed my tongue down from his chest to his belly, kissing around it and admiring every edge of him. I was quick to undo his belt, the top fly of his jeans, but took my time unzipping his fly, feeling each of the teeth on it release as I pulled the line down. 

“Oh my god babe, you’ve never done it like this before,” he said, chuckling. I didn’t bother to respond, but chose to take both hands, wrap them around his waistband, and yank his jeans down. His cock was only chubbing, leaving so much room still for growth. I took notes from the hunk at the leather shop, slowly running my tongue along the shaft, feeling the flow of blood as it flowed into his cock. He moaned, my tongue lathering up his dick before making it shine in the light casted upon it from the flames. The flickering of his shaft’s shadow flashed across my face as my eyes began to gaze upon it hungrily. 

I cupped his balls in my hands, fondling them and let the leather caress them as they grew more taught in the cool hide. I looked up at him, his eyes begin to overtake with lust as I scooped his dick into my open mouth. I could feel it pulse as each inch began to grow inside of me. It took only a few seconds for him to become rock hard and I was pushing its head to the back of my throat. I refused to gag, to let him see any weakness in me. 

My lips reached the base of his dick, the smell of the day permeated and mingled with the intoxicating aroma of the leather. I pulled his cock in and out of my mouth, savoring the taste of my new boyfriend as the rumbles of pleasure escaped from his chest. I could feel his dick becoming stick as a rock and knew that if I kept this up, the fun would be over before I was even close to being done. I let it slip out from between my lips and sat up, pulling him in to kiss him. He fought back this time, his tongue wrestling with mine. But I had too much control and made him submit to me once more. When I pulled away, I bit into his lip softly and pulled it. I let go and growled. 

“On the bed,” I commanded. He was such an adorable submissive boy. He crawled on top of the sheet and laid back, awaiting my next command. 

“Now, for your next surprise,” I said. I pulled out the ropes I had hid under the bed. His eyes grew and I could see the familiar trace of fear cross his face. 

“Is that rope?” He asked. I smiled and nodded. He swallowed nervously. “We uhhh.. we never have done anything like that.” I untethered the rope and began tying a knot on one of the bed posts. 

“First time for everything,” is all I responded with. I tugged at the finished knot. Holding out a hand, I was at least giving him the courtesy of choosing to go on. He hesitated for a moment, but ultimately gave me his hand. 

“Good boy,” I told him. I took his hand, lovingly tying the top around his wrist, making sure to not make it too tight on him. I pulled at it once I had finished.

“Comfy?” I asked him. He nodded. Making my way to the other side of the bed, I did the same thing for his left hand. When it was completed, I took a step back and admired the cute bearded cubby, restrained and waiting for whatever I had next in store for him. I crawled on the bed myself, the springs squeaking in protest. I was on top of him now, the dim lighting being just enough to see the flicker of fire in his eyes. I kissed him once more and began to fell him up. The leather from the gloves touched every inch of his body, making him whimper. 

He pulled at the ropes, his own arms flexing in the candlelight. I teased him further, lightly touching every part of his body I could find, making a mental note of where I wanted to play with him next. I licked my hand, the leather tracing itself on my tongue. It was just lathered enough to glide across his still slimy cock, pumping up and down, teasing him as he pulled harder on his restraints. 

“Fuck babe….” He moaned, his teeth gritting from the sensation. I picked up the pace, his arms were going more wild as he pulled on the ropes, desperate to react however he could to my pull. 

“Fuck.. I’m close,” he said. It was my cue to let go and watch his cock bounce, desperately trying to regain my touch. He laughed and groaned out. 

“You’re an asshole,” he told me, growling and baring his teeth. I cooed, tutting in response. 

“Now that wasn’t very nice. Looks like I need to show you who’s boss,” I said. I crawled back and stood at the edge of the bed on my knees, cradled in between his legs. Unzipping the front of my pants, I unleashed my dick, which I had encased the base in a leather cock ring. Looking down, I let a trail of saliva hang from my mouth and drip up on. My hand was quick to apply to spit, lathering up my cock in anticipation. 

“You ready baby?” I asked him. He seemed more scared than ever. 

“Well I mean,” he said, unsure. “I haven’t really bottomed for you in what, two years? You said you really didn’t like it.” I shrugged, positioning my cock right by his hole. 

“Let’s just see where this takes us,” I told him. He didn’t give me any further signs of protest, but slunk back further into the pillows. Positioning his legs up on my shoulders, I toyed with his hole, the head of my cock begging for insertion. I applied pressure softly as he moaned, his restraints being pulled on once more. After some effort, the head slid in. He threw his head back, closing his eyes and moaning like a bitch. 

“FUCK!” He yelled out. I let my dick rest for a second before pushing on. Slowly, more of me entered him. He moans grew loader as I disappeared further. He was so god damn tight! Probably hadn’t had his ass played with at all in those two years. I couldn’t take it so slow any more and pushed the rest of myself inside. I had reached the base of my cock when I could see him panting, his breathing picking up as I moaned in unison. 

“That’s it boy!” I yelled out to him. “You feel so good for daddy.” He looked back at me with an eyebrow raised. 

“Daddy?” He managed to pant out, exasperated. ‘You’ve never-“ I pulled out and pushed myself back in deep, cutting him off as he moaned. I could feel my cock hitting his prostate, massaging it as each vein glided past it. I kept a steady rhythm up as I pushed myself back and forth. He groaned with each hit of the shaft passing through his hole. The slap of the leather hitting his thighs became rhythmic and only increased in tempo as I picked up the speed. I was practically jack hammering him now, I could feel the sweat building underneath my leather suit. 

“Fuck baaaaabe!” He moaned out. His hands were turning as red as his face as he pulled full force on my knots. Sweat was dripping from me and splaying on his jiggling belly. Each hit of my cock against his hole let to a ripple affect across his chubby body, only making me more aroused. The knowledge that this could be my new life, my new kinky little boyfriend, seeing him become my bitch. It was becoming too much for me to handle. 

“Fuck babe, I’m cumming!” I yelled out. He looked back at me in submission and snarled his teeth. 

“Cum for me baby, cum in me!” He yelled back. I wrapped my arms around his thighs and pushed my cock as far fucking deep as I could, the color draining from my face as I reached climax. Even with my detour earlier, I could feel pump after pump of cum as I seeded my new boy’s hole. I coated him, spreading my cum  and claiming him as mine. 

I was panting, my cock still inside of him and releasing whatever load was left. I came to my senses and looked down at my work. Ryan was panting just as hard a I was, with a trail of cum splattered on his belly, trailing up to his furry chest. 

“Damn, you make this mess?” I asked him playfully. He smiled and dropped his arms as far as they could, given their restriction. 

“I’ve… never cum hands free before,” he said in between breaths. He looked down and saw the scene which I had built for us. “What has gotten into you?” He asked. I pulled myself back, letting my dick flop messily against my fly. 

“Just a whole new me I guess.” 

[queeniecook]

January 22

True to his word, on the last night Rahmi is in Sulani, Ukupanipo takes her to the bar he works at.

Naya had helped Rahmi prepare for the night and she still isn't sure about the dress the blonde had picked out for her. It's shorter than she'd like it to be. Thankfully the drinks at the bar, which Ukupanipo gets a discount on, is helping with her nerves. They spend the first few hours just simply talking at the bar and having a few drinks together before Ukupanipo asks her to dance.

Rahmi hasn't danced with someone in years but finds it easily comes back to her. Between the laid back atmosphere of the bar, the drinks and the merman dancing with her, she finds herself feeling carefree and having fun.

The song changes and things seem to being to shift between the pair. The space between them seems to vanish as the music continues, Rahmi is beginning to feel things she hadn't felt in a few years. She isn't sure how to handle it.

"You look amazing tonight." Ukupanipo says quietly. Not that she doesn't always look beautiful and it's not the dress or the makeup that's impacting her look, it's the smile on her face and she seems lighter tonight. It looks good on her.

Rahmi blushes and looks down, which doesn't do much to calm her sudden feeling of butterflies in her stomach - because there's barely any space between them. "Thank you. Naya helped me get ready."

Ukupanipo shakes his head a little and catches her eyes as she looks back up at him. "It's you. It's your aura."

Rahmi is speechless. How does someone respond to that kind of compliment? She gives him a smile. "Can we walk on the beach?"

Ukupanipo leads Rahmi outside and they begin walking slowly along on the beach. She thought Sulani was stunning during the day - at night it's magical. Nothing is said for the first several minutes as they just enjoy the sound of the water and the island night creatures calling to each other. Rahmi starts to feel like she should make conversation, she turns to ask her companion if he prefers cake or cookies - she wants to bake him something at home and send it to him - but she loses her balance.

Ukupanipo is quick to catch her before she can fall. Maybe she shouldn't of had that last glass of wine. Instead of using his support to right herself, she lets herself lean into him for a few moments. It feels nice - to have someone's arms around her again. Someone she actually likes.

"Umm.." Rahmi mumbles, not sure what to say. She feels sudden desire flood through her body and it catches her off guard. "Thanks."

Ukupanipo helps her stand upright and looks down at her. He slowly raises his hand to run his fingers gently through her hair which causes Rahmi to grasp at his tank top and his side. He thinks her ex-husband is a very stupid man for letting the woman in front of him go and not just because of her beauty but because of her heart.

Rahmi is thinking that she just wants Ukupanipo to kiss her. She never thought she'd want that again after what happened with Thomas but it has. She brings her hand off the deathgrip she had on his tank top and gazes at Ukupanipo, she's too scared to try to kiss him. The idea of making the first move scares her almost breathless or maybe she's breathless due to her desire for him to kiss her?

Ukupanipo swallows hard and takes a deep breath. He wants to kiss her badly, especially with that look in Rahmi's eyes but they've both had something to drink tonight and the last thing he wants is for her to regret anything happening between them. She's been hurt and her heart needs to be handled with care.

"We've both have been drinking." He reminds her quietly. He watches her blink and slowly realize what he's saying to her. Before she can even get the thought that he's rejecting her because he doesn't want her in her head, he quickly pulls her close and kisses the top of her head.

That act alone seems to calm Rahmi's heart and she rests her head on his chest. She closes her eyes and focuses on his breathing. She isn't sure what's going on with them, is it just because of the alcohol and the fact that both of them have been without someone for a while or is something more going on with them?

[shunin-gumis]

Mistery on the Moonlit Passage - Track 05

Seasonal Event Story

Location: Cruise Liner - Party Venue

Nanaki: …… 

Nanaki: (Andy told me earlier that the ‘recommended date spot’ on the cruise liner was at the sky deck, but…)

Kafka: So this is the main party venue. Thanks to the holograms, the ceiling looks high, making the venue feel spacious inside the ship. 

Kinari: During the daytime, the scenery can be viewed from the windows, which is intended to increase the open appeal of this area.

Yachiyo: Wow… Isn’t this, like, way more luxurious than anything a poor commoner could ever dream off…? If I keep indulging in such luxury, my karma’s gonna tank and I’ll be reborn as something even lower than a bug…

Nanaki: (Trying to invite the chief in front of everyone might be a bit too difficult…)

Yodaka: There’s also a bar counter at the back. It looks quite well-equipped.

Chief: Seems like the staff might not be familiar with some things, but with proper training, I think they should be able to get a hang of it.

Kafka: Yeah, I believe so too.

Nanaki: (Besides, I’m here for work. I shouldn’t let myself get carried away…)

Akuta: WOOHOO! The buffet food looks friggin’ delicious~ I’m gonna spend my whole entire life on this ship, just munching forever and never leaving this place!

Muneuji: Isotake, you should calm down and eat a bit more slowly. Your cheeks are starting to resemble that of a chipmunk’s.

Chief: But isn’t that your third plate already, Muneuji-kun? High schoolers sure are built differently, huh…

Nanaki: (But since there’s gonna be customers who’ll come here as couples, maybe I can get away with that as an excuse to scout it out as a date spot…)

Chief: Are you also like that, Nanaki-kun?

Nanaki: Huh!? Y-Yes!?

Chief: Hehe, I knew it.

Nanaki: (...! Chief’s smiling face…)

Nanaki: (But I totally didn’t get why they were laughing at all…! I must’ve definitely given off a weird answer…!)

Chief: This is bad! Yachiyo-kun is heading straight for the super delicately balanced Jell-O tower! I have to stop him.

Yukikaze: Chief, please wait a moment.

Chief: What’s up, Yuki-nii?

Yukikaze: Nanaki, don’t you have something to talk to the Chief about?

Nanaki: !?

Chief: Huh? Really?

Yukikaze: Earlier… Was it Andy you were talking to? I’m sorry, I overheard your conversation with the AI.

Yukikaze: I also noticed that you were staring at the Chief the entire time, so—

Nanaki: Ka-Kamina-san! W-W-Waitasecond!

Yukikaze: ?

*Nanaki immediately drags Yukikaze with him at high speed*

Chief: Huh? Where are they going—Ack, wait! Yachiyo-kun, stop right there, STOP!!!

Location: Cruise Liner - Inner Passageway

Yukikaze: What’s wrong? I heard you were researching ‘recommended spots’ on the ship to share with the chief, right? You’re very thoughtful, Nanaki.

Nanaki: Huh? Wait, you didn’t hear about the ‘date’ part…?

Yukikaze: Hmm?

Nanaki: N-No, it’s nothing.

Yukikaze: Are you sure you're not going to tell the chief? If you want, you can tell me and I’ll pass it along to them. 

Nanaki: Uh… That’s a bit—

Nanaki: Well… everyone looks like they’re having fun, so maybe I’ll save it for the next time…

Nanaki: (I’m worried that if I do that, the mood’s gonna be ruined because of me…)

Nanaki: Sorry, I think I made you worry for no reason. I’m just gonna take a breather outside.

Yukikaze: Nanaki… ~~~(end flashback)

Location: Cruise Liner - Party Venue

Nanaki: (...Okay, if I don’t bring up my feelings and just stick to telling things objectively…)

Yukikaze: After Nanaki and I spent some time chatting with everyone at the party, we each went our way to the sky deck at different times. 

Yukikaze: That's all.

Nanaki: Y-Yeah, that's about right, I guess.

Ryui: That’s too brief.

Yukikaze: There wasn’t much else to say.

Nanaki: (...But there’s one thing that’s been bothering me.)

Ryui and Muneuji: …

Nanaki: (Everyone’s on edge…)

Netaro: Mhm… I see nyaow…

Netaro: I’ve figured out the truth!