#ie me/my brother/my sister/my cousins

[aifsaath]

I am continuously perplexed at how a show as objectively bad and problematic as hotd keeps inspiring outstanding fanfics like yours and @gwenllian-in-the-abbey’s. Truly it’s a mystery to me, especially considering that the books covering the dance are supposed to be quite mediocre as well from what I’ve perceived. Just so you know,with that trailer out now I’m gonna completely blend out the events of the show and consider our fathers clad in red canon

@gwenllian-in-the-abbey AAAAAAAAAAAAAA, I think George's gonna order a hit on us:D

I'm glad you like our slightly destructive approach to teh canon. I'm mostly fueled by spite and my dislike for George's and HBO's complete disregard for the historical context of the stuff they draw their inspiration from (you can't do the Matilda vs Stephen showdown and expect the same sense of injustice, when your main conflict is about Viserys' imbecilic approach to rules, Rhaenyra's weak-ass claim and papa/dragons being her go-to solution to all her problems, Daemon being a chaos gremlin, Corlys' malignant ambition and the Hightowers being the only ones who actually care about the rule of law.)

A lesbian romance doesn't automatically turn a story into a feminist manifesto, nor does a girlboss who's treated by the narrative as the second coming of Christ. Context matters and it's a mistake to view the Dance through the lens of modern ideals about egalitarianism.

GRRM's hubris when it comes to "Aragorn's tax policies" is just another thing that enrages me and Gwenllian, because the man completely misunderstands the medieval legal codes. Just because they were complex that doesn't mean they were fucking contradictory on their own; no one wanted civil wars breaking out each time a monarch died.

Problems happened when two countries with generational beefs worked on two different principles of succession, ie. England (male-preference primogeniture) vs France (male-only primogeniture), or if there was some dynastic fuckery that completely messed up the clear-cut succession lines with usurpations and cousin marriages (Yorks vs Lancasters).

Had Richard II (the son of the Black Prince) died peacefully without issue, the succession would have followed through the line of the Duke of Clarence, with Edmund the Earl of March eventually becoming the king (and he was Richard's heir, btw).

But that's not what happened. The son of John of Gaunt usurped the throne and it was then passed down through his line, because he was the crowned king. Now, you can argue whether or not he had any right to do the usurpation in the first place and whether or not he was the legitimate king and you bet people back then argued about that too. This ambiguity is how you create a proper narrative about actually conflicting claims. The only thing propping up Rhaenyra against her brother is the fact that Viserys is a moron.

How the fuck can I take F&B seriously and without the Dead Sea's worth of salt, when it pretty much blows Jaehaerys' posthumous dick about his wisdom when he "let" the council of 101 decide the succession (while politely ignoring the fact that Jaehaerys' own claim is legit only in the cases of either full salic or semi-salic succession, ie male-only), while never once it calls out Viserys out on his extremely dangerous decision. He gets to die venerated as the peaceful grandpa and all the blame for his incompetence is piled on Aegon II and Alicent.

Let's go through the possible succession systems, shall we?

If we follow male-preference primogeniture, the legitimate line of kings ends with Aerea because she was the eldest child of Aegon the Uncrowned, Maegor's eldest nephew. Only after she and her sister die without issue, Jaehaerys can become the king. Jaehaerys' canon ascension works only because Rhaena gave up her daughters' claims. The next in line would be Aemon and after him Rhaenys. But that's not what happened.

If we follow the salic law (male only), the legitimate line of the kings goes Aegon I -> Aenys I -> Aegon Uncrowned -> Jaehaerys I -> Viserys I -> Aegon II. This is probably what Jaehaerys wanted to ensure, since he challenged Maegor's kingship in the first place.

If a crowned king can choose his heir, then Jaehaerys was never a legitimate king and Aerea was the true queen, because Maegor, who had won his crown in the trial by combat, chose her as his heir.

What about the principle of seniority? Cognatic seniority where men and women have equal claims is out of the question since Aegon I was the crowned king, not Visenya. Male-only seniority would go Aegon I -> Aenys I -> Maegor I (uncontested!) -> Aegon Crowned This Time -> Viserys the Not Tortured to Death -> Jaehaerys I -> Aemon (only if his uncle Viserys has no issue) -> Baelon -> Vaegon -> Viserys I -> Daemon (EW).

Notice the distinct lack of Rhaenyra.

Team Black keeps mentioning the widow's law, but that's a bulk of nonsense. I suppose the misunderstanding originates from a (willful) misinterpretation of this passage. The book says:

Now, I highly doubt Jaehaerys intended for the law to mean that a daughter from the first marriage should come before the sons from the second. The wording is a bit unlucky, but I suppose the intention was to establish the legal position of the second wife and her children as united with the position of her step-children - she has the same duties towards them as if they were own, and the same goes the other way. Which would make sense. Because otherwise, no one would be desperate enough to marry a widower with daughters. Since we know that title and land ownerships have remained in the same families without changing hands once or twice since the implementation of the law, I really doubt the team black's literal interpretation of the passage was the one intended. Ffs, Viserys was pushed to marry again because he had only one daughter, meaning, this law wasn't viewed the way the Team Black wishes for. And I'm not even delving into the fact that this would be a female inheritance hack penned by Jaehaerys, if that was the case. Talk about ooc.

So, yeah, we're taking Gyldayne's interpretation of the past with so much salt our hearts are gonna fail.

[mishkakagehishka]

Okay i was gonna reblog that post about how people on here have latched onto cannibalism (metaphors) bc it's become trendy ie. it's "safe" and not actually much of a taboo (as long as you never go past ironic and metaphorical, i don't have to take out the "wait, you guys don't actually get the urge to eat someone because you love them?" meme) right now. About how they only take "taboos" that have become sanitised and safe and, most of all, an aesthetic.

And i wanted to mention coffin of andy and leyley

Like, to start off, incest is a squick for me. I can't stand it and i have all incest ships for the fandoms i'm in blacklisted bc, personally, it's an ick. But, i found it funny that people played a game with satanic cannibalism at its centre and still cancelled it... but because of the (optional, avoidable, it was literally a route you had to choose yourself) incest between the brother and sister who killed and ate people, including their own parents.

And, honestly, why i don't participate in ship discourse, despite the fact that i find loli/shota and inc.est and so much more gross and disgusting, they're my cousins wwwww i write cannibalism and eroguro i'm literally the prosh.ipper to proper antishippers. You know what i mean? So imo if you're gonna be like "oooo cannibalism is so sexy💞💞" even if you're only talking ab the aesthetic of having blood on your face, you really have no right to talk about other taboos. In my opinion.

Anyway. You guys just like to be edgy but still safe and "morally pure" and that's fine, but try not to think you're better than people who love taboos if you're trying to play to the idea that what you love is also a taboo. Or worse, don't try to act that your edgy interests aren't a taboo just because they've become an aesthetic.

[villainsblog97]

Xdinary Heroes with your younger family members

Summary: how would our 6 heroes interact with your younger family members, ie; brothers, sisters, niece, nephew, or cousins

Warning: none (there's kids in the room)

Scenario: fluff, comedy, romance, boyfriend au

Gun-il 👾

You have only been dating Gun-il for a few weeks

But you were introducing him to your parents

He fit in quite well and your parents loved him

Your mom was still in the kitchen finishing dinner

That's when you got a visitor

Your little brother who was all about 5 years old came up to you

He tapped your arm and whispered in your ear

You smiled and nodded and said you would ask him the question your brother asked you

You looked over at Gun-il and asked him if he would be willing to go out and play with your little brother

Gunil smiled and nodded as he walked outside

You followed behind

Your brother was quick to taking a liking to your boyfriend

Gun-il played tag with your brother until he was out of breath

Your brother came over again and hugged his leg

He laughed and picked him up and spun him around the yard

Making him laugh again

You smiled watching him play and laugh with your little brother

Until you were both told it was time for dinner

"I want Gun-il to sit by me!! Your brother jumped up and down

Guess he's made a new friend!

Jungsu 👾

This would be the first time Jungsu was meeting your sister

She was 7 years old and your best friend

She was also excited to meet your boyfriend

You'd told her so much about him

Jungsu decided to take her to the park

He had a whole day set up for you guys

The park, then he wanted to take you guys out for lunch and then get some ice cream

To say Jungsu fell in love with your little sister was an understatement

He thought she was the cutest thing on earth

She also liked him as well

He played with her so much at the park

You two took turns pushing her on the swings

Jungsu held her on his lap as they went down the slide

He also held onto her and helped her cross the monkey bars

It was at lunch that your sister popped a question to the keyboardist

"Jungsu... are you my brother now?"

Jungsu choked on his drink

Kids they say the funniest things

Gaon 👾

"Jagiya are you sure he'll like me?"

"He's 4 Jiseok he likes rocks and junk food, it's not like he's gonna interrogate you"

Jiseok was joining you in attending your nephew's 4th birthday party

He held your hand as you rang the door bell

Your older brother opening the door

You both walked inside and set your present on the table

In came your nephew, calling your name and jumping into your arms

You smiled and hugged your little nephew as he looked over at your boyfriend

"Who is he?" He whispered shyly

"That's my boyfriend" you whispered back

He held out his hand to him

"Pleasure to meet you little man!" He smiled

It didn't take long for your nephew to be practically glued to Jiseok

He even sat in his lap while he opened his presents

Your brother and sister in law smiled at how attached he was to Jiseok

You smiled too

After the party was over, you helped clean up while Jiseok sat on the couch reading your nephew the new book you got him

Jiseok was using different voices for the characters as he read the book

Making your nephew laugh

It wasn't long before Jiseok came over to you

Holding your nephew who had fallen asleep on his shoulder

Ode 👾

Seungmin was excited to be meeting more of your family

It was a Christmas party at your aunt and uncle's house

This was the first time you'd be introducing your boyfriend to them

The house was filled with lots of voices

But everyone loved Seungmin

Including all your little cousins

"Are you (Y/N)'s boyfriend??" One asked

He laughed a little and nodded

"Yes I am" he smiled

You weren't sure how

But eventually Seungmin was dragged into the play room with your cousins

He kneeled down to their levels and began playing along with whatever they were playing

You found Seungmin sitting at a small table holding a piece of paper that said menu on it

You couldn't help but laugh

"Jagiya... this is a 7 star restaurant" he smiled

"I didn't know restaurants could have that many stars!" You laughed as you sat by him

Your cousins were playing like they were chefs and Seungmin was their customer

You decided to play along too

Happy to see your boyfriend getting along so well with your family

Junhan 👾

You had agreed to babysit your cousin

He was about 5 almost 6

Hyeongjun wanted to hang out with you

But you told him you were babysitting

He still wanted to see you

So he agreed to help you babysit

When he got there

Your cousin started off shy

But the more he was around him and played games with him

The more he started getting comfortable around Hyeongjun

It made you happy to see him interact with your cousin

He even brought his guitar over and played some songs for him

"Wha! You're good Hyung!" He smiled!

Hyeongjun laughed a little

He wasn't used to being called Hyung

Since he was the 2nd youngest member of his band

He showed your cousin how to play too

Even if his arms were too short to go around the guitar

Jooyeon 👾

Jooyeon was really excited

He was finally going to meet your 3 year old niece in person

He'd seen her many times on face time

She was already calling him "Uncle Jooyeon"

But you and Jooyeon were taking your first trip together

To see your sister

Jooyeon loved your niece

And your niece loved Jooyeon

When you two finally arrived

You were so happy to see everyone

Your niece ran right passed you

And jumped into Jooyeon's arms

He laughed and picked her up and hugged her tightly

You looked a little offended

That was only Your niece

But Jooyeon gave her a little present

It was a stuffed wolf

You decided to help your sister in the kitchen make dinner

When you went into your niece's play room

There was your boyfriend

With little bows in his hair

"Jagiya... would you like to join us for tea?"

[talesfrommedinastation]

OC Sunday Post

Thanks to @commander-sunshine, I learned about this awesome event! Here's my two main OCs, both from the world of The Expanse, who happen to fall in line with a bunch of clones from The Bad Batch, and beyond! Their ongoing saga (Far Past The Ring) is up on both AO3 and Wattpad.

Here's my main OC, Dr. Sjael Drummer (PhD):

Dr. Sjael Drummer (who is from the world of The Expanse) is a chemical engineer and researcher from the Sol system, originally from Ganymede, who has found herself on Medina Station as part of the Transport Union with her extended family.

She conducted her post-doctoral research at the Outer Rim through a ring gate, to see if there were any inhabitable planets for Belter colonies. 

While she did not find a suitable planet due to the Empire Being Lame, she did find the remains of Clone Force 99, post-Ipsium incident. And things get wild from there, which you can read about here, in ‘Far Past the Ring’:

Some facts about this Dr. Drummer: 

Sjael is the first cousin of President Camina Drummer, as their fathers, Anang Drummer and Aki Drummer, were brothers. 

Both Anang and Aki, as can be surmised by their names, were descendents of the Anishinaabe/Ojibwe First Nations in the Belt. Sjael is of mixed First Nations and Scandinavian heritage, as is her older sister, Tanke. 

She is a vegetarian, and is adverse to harming animals. It is why she went into engineering and chemistry, rather than medicine, like her older sister (see below).

Sjael’s Ph.D is in chemical engineering. Her dissertation (and subsequent research) is on developing sucrose from both organic and synthetic materials (ie, how to make things sweet in space!)

She became friends with the crew of the Rocinante thanks to her cousin Camina's love for Naomi Nagata. They often host parties at their home where the crew hangs out.

She dated a dashing pilot for the Free Navy named Toivo Saavedra for many years, and got engaged while she was in graduate school. She soon found out that he had another fiancée, as well as other women, on different planets and stations. Oh, and he was a pirate, too. Just a class act. (She throws herself at the next guy she gets close to, who happens to be a member of Clone Force 99, so...take a read if you're curious who!)

Sjael’s biggest passion is cooking and baking. She not only loves the chemical reactions and challenges from using different ingredients (vanilla being a favorite!), but she loves taking care of those she loves. She oversees all food preparation in her extended family, who live together in a massive compound on Medina Station. 

She also adores photography, and is responsible for many of the pictures and videos on Medina Station. 

Sjael became a pilot, first to make sure to see her parents on Eros (where her physician father and lab assistant mother were stationed, and then killed by the Protomolecule), and later as a coping mechanism for being left behind by Toivo. 

Going fast and doing wild tricks in her Mulan-class gunship is one of her modes of letting off steam.

The tattoo around her neck is of the various chemical flavonoids she worked with in her research.

An irreverent ‘daddy’s girl’, Sjael was very close to her laconic, but kind-hearted, obstetrician father, who emphasized the power of deeds over words. 

Speaking of family....

Next up, is Dr. Tanke Drummer (MD), Sjael's older sister. Drawing is a WIP, bear with me.

Yes, that's Crosshair's helmet. They do not hook up or get romantic in the slightest: Tanke has, to quote "Three children, two spouses, and endless headaches!"

Rather, they become close as PTSD riddled survivors of war and brainwashing in the best way they know how: by protecting the ones they love through fierce fighting.

She is the chief intake physician of Medina Station. Any human who wishes to travel from a ring gate into the Sol system to plants such as Earth and Mars must go through her first.

A quick eye and quicker tongue, Dr. Drummer does not suffer fools, and despises pirates, smooth talkers, and anyone who dares to hurt her family, whether it's a sibling, spouse, or child. 

Some facts:

Tanke is older than her cousin Camina, and often served as a guiding post for the younger Belter, even as their fathers fought constantly. 

One of Tanke’s most searing memories from her childhood is watching her grandfather, union organizer Sjaelland Roose, be killed on camera with his fellow miners during a strike. This prompted her to become entrenched in the more extreme factions of the OPA.

Tanke has both a wife (Miriam Martin) and a husband (Timon Chapelle). Polycules are common in the Belt.

She met her spouses while serving on a Free Navy ship, which she joined after finishing university: the horrifying experience of which has made her a fierce critic of the OPA/Free Navy, and a violent enemy of Anderson Dawes.

She has multiple tattoos–the Belter ‘scar’ tattoo around her neck, as well as feathers under her ear. Her left ring finger has two wedding rings tattooed on them for her spouses. Finally, she has multiple circles and dots on her arms–all of which show the locations of Ceres and Ganymede when her various family members were born. 

She has three children–two biological sons (Blid and Haber, ages 11 and 7) and a daughter that was born from her wife (Tro, age 14). Timon is the father of both. 

All of the children address her as ‘Niimama’, the Ojibwe word for ‘my mother’. Miriam is addressed as ‘Mama’ by all of the children.

She loves beer, but does not like hard alcohol as much. A full stomach is very comforting to her.  

Tanke has PTSD and anxiety, which is channeled through her rage and caustic tongue. Her insults are legendary.

She also deals with this through going to the firing range and long, intense walks through Medina Station.

She will not eat for many hours, but the moment she gets to a comfortable spot (usually with her sister and her cooking) she will eat a huge meal.

Tanke loves carbs, and that is her biggest weakness. Noodles and bread are her comfort foods. 

You'll meet more of them the more I keep writing!

[chiomaus]

brother's wedding retrospective

GOOD

it was a nice time. i had fun. i danced. i drank. i rescued some baby robins.

got to see my family.

got to meet my baby nephew for the first time.

got to spend time with my parents.

beautiful city. beautiful weather.

there was a magician!

ate some delicious food both at the wedding and the two days either side. bonus: i didn't have to pay for it.

i felt very capable navigating the trains despite so many transfers, busy london stations, getting around the underground, and dealing with setbacks.

OK

spent 4.5hrs on the train friday and about 5hrs on the train today. delays / cancellations both times. keep telling myself it was good practice for getting the trains in germany. i didn't mind too much bc i quite like taking the train. started feeling quite ill in paddington station though bc it was so hot and humid. just as i was starting to get bored on the train, a woman came round asking people fill out questionnaires, so i hope great western rail will find my feedback useful.

airbnb was so tastelessly furnished but in a funny way (the owner had her own terrible art all over the flat).

we didn't get to see the aurora borealis (why call it the northern lights when you can call it the aurora borealis) but i had a nice time looking at the stars with my dad just away from the wedding venue.

BAD

it basically felt like our family was an afterthought. in his speech, my brother actually mentioned his (now) wife's parents before our OWN parents. it really feels like he is just quietly exiting our family and just joining hers. this means i probably won't get to have much of a relationship with my nephew unless i really put an effort in. and since i am 4-5hrs away that's kind of tricky. me and my brother never really had much in common but i thought being siblings would mean something. on the bright side, this further confirms my suspicions that i am my parents' favourite child.

addendum to the above: my mum and her sister (ie my aunt) are coeliacs. anyone with coeliac disease or allergies knows that you often get forgotten when it comes to catering. you would think, of all places, my brother would make a point to cater to our mum and aunt. they got the same food as everyone else minus the main bit which contained gluten. they also didn't get to have any pizzas later.

barely got to spend any time with my nephew bc he got stolen by his maternal grandmother (ie not my mum). we arrived early to the wedding and i get a bit nervous just standing around so i was walking him around the grounds in his stroller. just nice to spend time with him and have a job to do. then (maternal) grandma asked to "borrow" him and she basically spent the rest of the day and evening fussing over him. she lives super close to them, so it's not like she never gets to spend time with him. meanwhile, i had literally met him for the first time that day.

aside from my parents and maybe my aunt and uncle, i still ended up feeling very much on the outside, even with my cousins of the same age. i really did my best to join in but it feels a bit like being the new kid at school who is always somewhat Other simply due to everyone else knowing each other so much better. idk i internalised this stat i read a while back about neurotypical people "clocking" autistic people within about 30 seconds and feel like i never really know what i'm supposed to do or say with people most of the time. the only person that made a point to include me was a very drunk dutch woman who invited me to dance with her. (she was very funny actually. she kept singing the first line of "don't stop me know" randomly in the taxi and called the taxi driver "mr man" several times.)

peak drunkenness hit me around 22:00 when i decided to stop drinking bc i was starting to feel a bit ill and morose, but of course everyone else continued drinking, so i was sitting around feeling lonely and inept while surrounded by drunk happy normal people. you're not really meant to drink on SSRIs so i was trying to be sensible. idk if that's related to how tired and morose i ended up feeling.

related: i do enjoy weddings and i always cry a lot of happy tears hearing the speeches and seeing the bride for the first time in her dress, but being single at a wedding feels like everyone except you is in a happy loving relationship. the last wedding i was at i was in my first proper relationship and i felt like love was something i could have after all. and well without getting too much into it, i'm single again, and thinking to myself "but i deserve to be loved, right? right????". just continually shouting down the voice that tells you "actually there's a big reason why you have so little dating experience and it's a Bad one". again i don't want to start going into the background of that failed relationship, but i feel like i was offered a single crumb of love before it was snatched away from me, and i'm left sitting here thinking "but i want the loaf! i want the loaf!!!" idk man im being patient but after a while you start to think that love isnt something that's supposed to happen to you.

so yeah i am feeling very physically, mentally and emotionally tired now. i have two (hopefully calm) days at work then on wednesday i am off to germany for a week on my own. so i'm just going to focus on that and all the fun and interesting things i'm going to do and not on how bad/sad/mad i am feeling after this weekend.

you could spend a billion £ on a wedding and it still wouldn't be as good as my friends' wedding last year. to spend nearly a week with people i have always felt accepted and loved by and not ever doubt whether i belonged there was such a wonderful thing. sadly i don't think any other friends are planning to get married any time soon but god i think i am done with weddings for a while.

anyway some pics:

always a good journey if i get to see some interesting pylons.

magic trick where the magician "fired" a tiny man at a deck of cards, leaving a stickman-shaped hole in half the deck and the stick man on the card i had picked out and signed earlier. i got to keep the card as a fun souvenir.

two very inept baby birds. they kept flying down into the enclosed courtyard and i kept putting them back in the rafters where they were safe.

we saw the cathedral. we did not pay the £19 per person to get any closer.

it's great when there's concrete.

the horrifying moment when your train is due in 4 minutes and you still don't know what platform it will be at. or if it will even be arriving. this happened to me in heathrow last year, and my plane back from germany also got cancelled, so it's a bit anxiety-inducing.

only funny to me but i enjoyed seeing some DB trains! in england!

anyway thanks for coming to my post see you have fun

[the-chickenshit-oddity]

B99 Obsessive Rewatch Season Two

rewatching B99 and taking notes. also, sometimes i get ideas of stuff i wanna see played out more, so i post them as prompts and link them here. spoilers for all of season two.

2:1

Jake as an italian mobster kinda

Is this the first holt&jake hug we’ve seen?? Rayray doesnt even flinch so cute

Jake’s rapidfire recap : fixed a boxing match / smoked a whole cigar w/o vomitting / was in a room w/ 10 Sals

Jake lies to amy about liking her

Jake has “lady hands”

Holt says he’s seen MOVIES PLURAL

Awesome begins with an O, JP 2013 probably

“i am feeling trepidation at the prospect of a parentless existence” = baby holt’s parents had a thing when he was 7

Weirdest thing in the whole episode is mobster jake being beaten by a cop on mob turf and none of his mobster buddies helping out

Baby holt snuck into daddy holt’s office to check out his collection of antique globes = daddy holt issues ref above

Proud daddy holt. Forgot to note if it happened in s1 so we’ll consider this the beginning

Jake unlies to amy about liking her

Gina and boyle shag again

2:2

Terry’s getting snipped and gina is way creepy

Boyle has a sister (probs castle girl) that we never mention again?

Wunch appearance and holt is a dramatic shit i love him

Wunch&holt : wunch shot holt, holt tried to get her fired, wunch destroyed holts file while UC, holt embarrassed wunch in front of derrick jeater who??

Amy’s fierce when someone’s fucking with her career we stan

Charles has seen the little mermaid

Holt’s a great amy dad cause both of them are ambitious nerds

2:3

Jimmy jabs est.2008

Jake knows rosa’s friend katie (and s1 amy’s friend kylie – how the fuck)

Lots of parallels to FRIENDS. Accidental sex tape, two guys accidentally nap together, probs other stuff, where’s the downstairs officers brooming the ceiling?

Squad screams like maniacs in the bullpen and random background people literally dont even care – ie this is such a habit people are over it

Bomb suits kinda look like minions or is it just me

Hitchcock is evil – do we think he’s related to gina or what?

Amy wins

2:4

Halloween heist

Holt is a master jake player, all rejoice

Holt says watch from kevdad & kevdad dead

I want ginas jacket

Jake has cousins ie jake has aunties??

2:5

Trust levels off the charts. Leaping at terry, telling holt the truth and asking amy for help. Okay so that’s only jake but still

Wunch is evil

My man holt is sooo tense, how long do we bet till he blows up?

Amy is giving toddler mom vibes rn somebody give her a margarita

>> amy has to babysit some random kid and realises he’s identical to jake in behaviour

Im gonna need baby terry being a disco champion thing

>>Omg!! Holt caught the disco killer, maybe disco killer killed disco nerds, ie holt saved terry’s life!

Lmao kev passive agressive is my life

Holt is a regular holmes wtf

How did jake get guest pjs, im sensing a food/drink related accident which makes twice this episode with amy’s car

Holt&jake teaming up is my fave thing ever

Terry at a soccer game for his kids would be terrifying

2:6

I’m in love with jake’s “why am i an idiot” face

Amy goes to holt screeching “captain” like he’s her dad, i need an amy prequel series, i love her

Rosa’s really backhanded at compliments it’s awesome

So cops hate lawyers and firepeople?? Who are they buddies with? (except for the criminals eh)

Whats a pow wow?

Is this a “season’s main human-mess that needs holt guidance” thing? First was jake, this feels like amy’s

2:7

When did holt get stabbed IN THE NECK??

gina get off on chaos like a demon she’s evil

precinct lockdown ep – all of those people are terrible and i hate them

why does terry’s wife not care about her brother being a dick?

2:8

Terry and amy waterboard themselves for some reason

So cops hate mailpeople too

Forgot holt had a gambling addiction

Coping stuff : holt workouts / terry self torture wtf? / gina meditation

Jake&rosa friendship is great

2:9

Holt wants bland ugly food, like how picky can you get

How is jake inviting teddy to come a proof of teddy being romantic?

Note to self : never go to a themed hotel they’re haunted

“pb&js are so simple a child could make them” makes me see neglected baby holt making himself food as best he could >> tie in with no dad baby holt thingy

Rosa got possessed by the devil

Lessons : CB > RH cooking stuff (epic fail)

Wheres the award for the most awkward double date ever?

2:10

Doug judy’s back

Jake has no ability to hold grudges?

Doug judy’s got real nice teeth

Amy stand up to holt, holt likes

I’m not interested in the whole boyle/linetti storylines :/

2:11

Holt took all night to think of an insult for wunch but burns people left and right no problem >> my boy doesn’t actually hate her?? Omg is this some weird non-sexual game they play? Gross

Amy&rosa in a car for four hours? I need to see it

“uncle ray” talks about work so much even his NEPHEW knows who’s who. 1) was kev not there, because no cop talk policy 2) was he EFFUSIVE??

Most of what i’ve learnt from this watching session today is that i’m real hungry why do they keep eating

You know what’s inconspicuous? Two guys sitting in front of windows with massive cameras. Totes invisible

Jake&charles have a roomie breakdown, gina&amy have an existential crisis, terry is a mom and rosa&holt are ...there

Man i do NOT want to shag in my boss’ house, i mean rosa’s got her own flat, cmon

Kev making bacon smiles on his pancakes totes goes into my kev&holt get baby martin for holidays headcanon (see season one obsessive rewatch)

“this isn’t my first rodeo” jake abt dealing w/ scully >> fits into baby jake shadowing scully for junior cops thingy (also in s1 obsessive rewatch)

“brothers fight but they’re always there for each other” says the only child (fun fact, only jake and gina are only kids (except for maybe terry cause i can’t remember))

2:12

I love the amy drunkenness scale

A fondue stick in a fanny pack sounds like a disaster waiting to happen

Beachhouse w/ the boss episode

Amy&gina&terry get paired up lots

Why didn’t they turn the holt party into a movie night??

Au where boyle is a seduction coach

Gina turned not-evil for a second

2:13

Amy’s def of partner : bounce ideas, eat street meat & stake out, burnt coffee

Jake hasnt been to the dentist in seven years (at this point i’m thinking he was kidnapped and doesnt remember his season one dentist trip)

“it’s payback time” to the drug dealer who killed all of jake’s family

Gina’s got two grandmas

Charles want to have a bowling business

How do terry’s biceps have their own biceps???

Holt likes the name todd, didnt he have an ex called todd?

Isn’t yahooanswers dead? How does jake know stuff now?

2:14

If s1 is parenting Jake and teaching Amy independence, is s2 about parenting Amy and bonding with Rosa through evil humour?

Jake tells terry he loves sofia??

Rosa’s enemy marker-hoarder carla biancci in 2nd grade turned bully till grad

Jake tells sofia he loves her

Gina being a dick after saying something true – a trend?

Charles’ dad was a florist and now i want a classic flower shop romance

Sofia breaks up ouchhh

Eww gross wunch kissed holt i need brainbleach

Charles doesnt think his dad loves him?

2:15

Rosa’s parents are “smiley morons & hug freaks”. Did not seem like it in the coming out episode?

Second massive cop lasertag game thingy

Holt confused face implies he never saw titanic

Note to self try to make a blondie sometime

Holt apologises the next day for trying to disqualify gina from pers.test >> did kevin tell him his type didn’t fit him?

Gina thinks holt flirts with her so she’s a wunch but on their side?

2:16

“if u love s/o u’ll remember what they look like” but KEVIN HAS A PORTRAIT MATE

Oh this is the “i’m sorry you weRE STABBED” episode

I want marvin the geriatric bank robber to be buddies with gina??

Im lowkey upset that kevs buddies with gina tho, he’s not evil enough

Ray talks about jake to random waitresses and his painting teacher

Okay i get it, amy and charles are too simpy, rosa’s too unhinged, we don’t talk about hitchcock and scully, terry’s got his own shit, so that only leaves gina and jake and it cannot be jake, so. Yeah okay gina and kev are buddies

Ray called jake a genius just cause he heard him practice his holt impression, how cute

2:17

Jake’s a creepy girl stalker?? Poor jenny gildenhorn

Rosa has a grandad

Amy plays french horn

Jake answers amy’s proposal with “yes a thousands times yes”

MARCUS DVRs BONES THE HOLTCOZNER BEDROOM WEIRD DVR QUEUE SOLVED EXCEPT WHYS HE IN THEIR ROOM??

2:18

Dickhead peralta shows up, i hate him :(

Holt’s “unsolvable” riddle “There are 12 men on an island. 11 weigh exactly the same amount, but one of them is slightly lighter or heavier. You must figure out which. The island has no escapes, but there is a seesaw. The exciting catch? You can only use it three times.”

Jakes allergic to bees and dickhead knows about it

I’d go on a sudoku cruise too amy

Honestly this riddles fucking easy im so angry

Amy’s right tho, you do 6v6, one side’s heavier, then you divide that one 3v3, one side’s heavier, you do 1v1 and either they’re equal and the last one’s the heaviest or one of them’s already the heaviest

I cannot tell you how infuriated i get everytime im reminded of dickhead peralta’s later character arc.

2:19

s/o framing jake as druggie

spoiler its sofias druggie bossman

holt : “sarcasm the cowards lie” ouch

oh yeah also terry and holt missed ginas dance thing and shes upset

and also charles gotta work with the two giant babies

2:20

Jakes unhealthy obsession with his job episode 40 of 40

Rosa&holt scheming to avoid personal chats, relatable

Rosas dads a teacher, two sisters

2:21

Jake and amy have a crush on the same guy till the guy likes amy and jake likes amy more

Terrys looking into a new job and boyle gina holt get weird about it

2:22

Jakes on a treasure hunt, terry’s looking into a school for his kids again?

Holt v wunch 1946th time

Bingpot

The velvet thunder is probs thor’s more dramatic second cousin

2:23

Wunch got holt transfered sad face

Rosa’s bday

Wunch being incredibly sexual-harrassy again

Rosa likes gilmore girls

Weird sex thing from wunch again geez

Rayray does the robot yay. Dude was there a cancel-scare?

[tetrisfinished]

morbid thoughts

sometimes i have just some ridiculous thoughts and i've gotten to a point now where these thoughts have associated themselves to emotions that come up every time. emotions of anxiety or actually experiencing something that isn't happening in real life but the feeling of iminent death or disaster....overall, it's not fun.

anyway, these thoughts/feelings in particular are linked to my sincere belief that everyone's time of death is decided upon at the moment they are born and this is sort of a set-in-stone sitch. you can change your destiny, fate, qismat, what have you, but time of death will not change.

also this is a belief rooted in islam (and i am muslim lol).

ANYWAY there is one incident that i can recall for why this belief really rooted into my brain and it was back in the year 2007. i wasn't part of this experience personally, but it was relayed to me.

a couple of my nani's cousins living in pakistan went to a rally for benazir bhutto - it was actually a procession for her arrival to pakistan (in karachi) from the airport to her home. and this happened in september/october-ish.

anyway, my nani's cousins were politically on her side ie held political affiliations and at the time decided they would go join the rally/procession. 2 brothers, fanatically ran out the door together in happiness and excitement to go cheer on their favourite political leader! this was how the story was told to us later. that even though both their wives said why bother, it's okay, you can skip out, they still decided to go. nothing could or would stop them.

and as it turns out - they would not have stopped for anything at all that day. because they ran towards their death. that was when it was written for them. you see, as part of the process, there were folks who were also against her political party and they let off a bo*mb there. and these 2 brothers got caught directly in the line of fire.

anyway, i guess just the way the story was told - that nothing could stop them. nothing would stop them. though everyone tried - in the end they were pulled to that place at that time because of a higher order. because this was their ToD.

that event has been in my head since then just reinforcing my belief that death is written for us. it is a certainty - perhaps the only one - of life, that death is guaranteed. but it is also a belief i hold that it's exact time is also written for us.

anyway. today we woke up - we had no real plans this weekend and i had never told esa what we were going to be doing this weekend. as it turns out, he hasn't been to daycare since wednesday when he decided that he just was refusing to go. and so i agreed and let him stay home on wednesday - thursday and friday were more of the same, but by thursday afternoon he got sick as well.

so friday he insisted, but i would have kept him home anyway because he was a bit feverish.

in any case, we only had one dinner planned with yasir's buddies tonight (saturday night) and nothing else over the weekend. otherwise i was thinking of doing some light cooking but mostly i had wanted to focus on re-potty-training esa - which....even that i was sort of letting the ship sail because esa was not feeling well.

but this morning when esa woke up, there was only one request on his mind. "i want to go to nano house"

and he reiterated again and again and again and finally i gave in. despite that i didn't want to come to my parents because again he's a bit under the weather and it's a fair drive to come here and back and of course we did already have plans this evening (though in fairness, i was probably going to excuse myself even from those given that esa is not feeling well and the dinner was meant to start at 8 PM - which already i was not stoked about given that that's a fairly late dinner start time!).

in any case on the drive over, when we were roughly 17 minutes away from arrival, my sister called. i was seeing the whatsapp conversation happen as the messages popped up on my car, but obviously since i was driving i wasn't actually listening to the conversation. anyway she called to ask how the drive was going and to tell us that my cousin's wife sent a tornado notification in the common cousins whatsapp group.

and then while i was even just on the call with her (which wouldn't have been more than 5 minutes i think) i got the emergency notification as well.

o my goodness the anxiety that set into my stomach at that point.

i thought for sure - this is how we'll go. esa and i together trapped in a tornado.

so ya....that was a fun 15 minute drive here where i conjured up all the scenarios we could encounter as we ran towards our own end.

obviously none of them happened. but when we got into the driveway, there was a huge crow that was sitting in the yard. so of course i got even more convinced.

now, the rain has ended (it was actually quite light) and the sun is back out. and inshallah khair we might live to see another day lol (obviously who knows how many of our breaths are truly guaranteed, but we're here now).

and that's the story from today.

much love,

k

[p-011-yn]

i have a story to tell. it’s a bit of a downer, so i’ll put it under the cut. however, if you do read it, i would really appreciate support and/or advice.

cw: unsupportive parents, being scared of a parent, transphobia

a while ago, when me and my parents went to a different city to diagnose my SVT (super ventricular tachycardia), we went to lunch and my mom was talking about this one autistic girl she’d read about who had (i believe) had fully transitioned, regretted it, and detransitoned. she was using it as an arguement against me being trans.

she talked about how people who detransition are typically forced to keep their story silent and the true statistic is hidden. now, i fully believe that the statistic (how >1% of trans people regret transitioning) may not be completely accurate. but she was using one person’s (plus maybe a couple interviews, if i remember right) experience as an arguement against being trans.

this was a couple months ago now, and recently, i corrected her (multiple times in a row) on my pronouns, and she kept insistently saying “she” whenever i said “he” and told my dad that she thinks we should talk about “how things are” in regards to my gender. i have since come to the very thought out decision that i want to start testosterone, but i’m so scared to tell her, because i don’t want her to potentially yell at me. (she gets angry easily and when she does, she throws literal temper tantrums; ie: shouting and stomping and generally just getting everyone to pay attention to her. she actually scares me)

i’ve talked to a couple people about it (younger sister, friend my age, older brother, cousin my age) and they all (minus my sister, she didn’t really know what was going on) said that they have faith in me and that i can do it. my brother said that he can be there for me during any convo that might come of this in case it goes south.

despite this, i’m still so fucking scared to tell my mom, that i have resulted in just sending her a text. i haven’t sent it yet, but it feels like the best option so that she can come to terms with it and not speak from high emotions.

all this is to say that TRANS KIDS SHOULD NOT BE GENUINELY AFRAID TO TELL THEIR PARENTS THEY WANT TO START HRT. CHILDREN IN GENERAL SHOULD NEVER BE AFRAID OF THEIR PARENTS.

[traumato]

Like to be clear neither of them died recently as far as know my nephew died in September of 2020 and i have literally no idea when my sister died (although literally an entire 12h before i was talking to some friends about how like i didn't know if she was alive or not but it would surprise me if she wasn't. Like please understand that these are two completely unrelated deaths that almost Definitely happened months or even years apart) i only found out because of weird estate stuff in trying to get some amount of money out of stuff that my grandmother who died a decade ago had

[redjaybathood]

Possible prompt if you're still doing those:

Reverse Robin AU member/members meeting the canon Batfam member/members.

I usually don't go to the default Damian one and instead invert the first four Robins, IE:

Stephanie Wayne, the first Spoiler, now Knight-Hawk and heiress to Wayne Inc, she and Bruce have a weirdly good relationship, though she concedes this is cos her standards were 'low' which helped give him a learning curve.

Tim Drake, briefly Spoiler before the Court of Owls killed his family& tried to make him a Talon to learn Batman's identity, went off the trails for revenge for a bit.

Jason Wayne, the third Spoiler, now Nocturn, intends to study medicine and take over Wayne Foundation one day, tiny nerd.

Dick Grayson, temporarily Spoiler for training, but actually still has Mary Grayson and usually goes by Robin, argues with Bruce a lot in a "You're not my dad" context.

Feel free to ignore this, but I enjoy dabbling in this concept, but can never think of anything to do with it beyond thought experiments.

Yeah I am really digging the reversal between Steph and Dick, and how every kid starts as Spoiler, continuing her tradition now.

I bet Tim killed the heck out of Court of Owls but at the same time, he did it in a way that can't actually be tied to him. It's a fuck you to both the Owls (who wanted him as their pet assassin; well, he's not doing any murders by his hands, thanks) and Bruce because he cannot actually prove, with evidence, that it's Tim.

Curious choice of Jason's callsign. Is it maybe because before Bruce took him in, he was adopted by Natalia Knight? She felt kinship with Jason, whose childhood on the streets was similar to hers. She took him in, and though she told him the truth about what she was doing, she never let him get involved. Unfortunately, her brother felt threatened by Jason's presence, seeing him as a sign that he wasn't the most important person for her anymore. Long story short and several murder attempts later, Natalie was stabbed and had to flee Gotham, and Bruce ended up taking Jason in. After his time as Spoiler, Jason relinquished the mantle to the next one in line, choosing a name that honoured his adoptive mother.

By the way, I think Damian should be the youngest, still. Because if he is the oldest kid, then how old is Bruce? So as Damian arrives, Dick ditches the Spoiler in favour of Robin and Damian becomes the Spoiler.

Duke became a part of Batfam during No Man's Land. He and his parents got separated during an evacuation, and he created an information hub out of deserted Clock Tower. Not knowing, initially, that it already had one resident: Batgirl. He just showed up, hooked some equipment (okay it was much complicated than that). Everyone knew that if you wanted to sell or trade information, or if you wanted to find someone, that's where to go. After the No Man's Land situation was resolved, Duke kept at it, becoming Oracle. He used the information he got to foil Riddler, Joker, and others before they even had a chance to implement their plans. Eventually, he became a target, and that's how he discovered his awesome Light-based powers and became a Signal.

Cassandra, on another hand, is the OG Batgirl. She was around since the same time, more or less, as Batman had been. Small difference: she was adopted by Jim Gordon and has a little sister Barbara who looks up to her (and will become the next Batgirl).

Oh. And in this case, Batwoman was the first vigilante in Gotham. Freshly discharged from the army, she used her training to help people in a way she could. Bruce was kinda following in his cousin footsteps, though as he didn't have an army background, he had to go on a tour to find teachers.

Sorry, that's me babbling. But I really like the concept! If you start posting it, let me know!

[mermaidsirennikita]

Hi! I've read a lot of HR in my time (ie past 2 yrs) and it's my favorite genre but I haven't watched any HR shows or movies...can you give me some suggestions, please?

Truth be told, there aren't *that* many honest to God, true historical romance movies or TV shows. I mean, there's obviously Bridgerton, but it's... A mixed bag, and I'm sure you're aware of it.

Sanditon felt very much like a historical romance in its first season, but it does not end happily and they basically completely botched it, so.

I think that Pride and Prejudice (2005) is by far the most *romantic* Jane Austen adaptation... And I imagine you've seen it, but if not, do! It's less about the sex than it is the sexual tension, to be sure, but the climax of the movie itself is one of the most romantic things I've ever seen on TV, so. Has a happy ending!

Belle is really good! It's based on a true story so (as I've said here before lol) I wouldn't call it a historical romance movie, but it's very romantic and it gets the beats. It's about a young heiress who is the daughter of a wealthy gentleman and an enslaved Black woman. Her mother died when she was young and her father was a soldier, so he had her raised (alongside her white cousin who's the same age) by his relatives. He dies when she's grown, so she becomes a wealthy heiress and there's this interplay of men who basically want to marry her for money while being incredibly racist and abusive towards her. But she's super intelligent and strong and her conflict is beautifully played--and there is a young man who has ~radical political ideas~ and is therefore ~unsuitable~ and they fall in love and have many swoony moments. His love confession is heeeeeeeellaaaaa. Has a happy ending!

Little Women (2019) obviously isn't a romance but the romantic arcs are very good and well-acted, with great chemistry. That's a lot coming from me, a Timothee Chalamet conscientious objector. Has a happy ending (for everyone except Beth lmao)!

The Young Victoria is clearly also based on real history, and it's super fucking romantic, imo. Victoria and Albert were a love match in real life, and his courtship of her in this movie is aaaaachingly romantic. Like. Swoon. Has a happy ending!

In the same sense, I'd recommend the first two seasons of Victoria (skip the Christmas special and the third). It's even more romantic lol, while it has some issues, and the chemistry between the actors is fabulous. (Beeeecauuuuse they were fucking at the time lmao, RIP that relationship.). You can end with season 2 and not feel like you missed anything by not continuing, imo. Both seasons end on a kind of "everything is fine, if open for the future" note. Has a happy ending (if you stop at the s2 finale)!

If you want a fucking weeper of a biopic that is nonetheless... extremely romantic, if chaste, I'd recommend Bright Star. It's about the romance between John Keats (famous romantic poet John Keats, who, spoiler alert, did die in his twenties) and his fiancee, Fanny Brawne. He's a poor poet, she's a slightly bitchy fashionista.

Of course, there's always Ever After, which is the 1998 Drew Barrymore Cinderella movie that is somehow set in... Renaissance France? Sure! Happy ending!

If you want to watch a truly wacky movie that I'm not sure holds up because I haven't watched it in years, try Far and Away. It's from the early days of Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman's marriage, and it's one of the Tom Cruise movies that came out before The Jig, It Was Up. He plays a poor Irishman who somehow, through a series of events I don't remember, ends up going to America with Nicole Kidman's rich Irish girl, and they pretend to be brother and sister to stay in a boarding house together while being super into one another. They fight. He boxes. She can't wash shirts right because she's a poor little rich girl. I will say, the chemistry was bomb, and it does have a happy ending. I am not sure, again, how it holds up on a social level because I haven't seen it since I was in high school. The Irish accents are bad, but I don't care.

If you're in the mood for a good lesbian period piece show, again based on real life so there is some traumatic shit in it, try Gentleman Jack! Anne Lister is a rakish woman who's just returned home to manage her estate. She needs a wife (and ideally a wealthy one) so she begins to seduce the shy, anxious Ann Walker. TWs for a lot of things--sexual assault, homophobia, Ann's mental health being on edge like... all the time. But it's super romantic, and it does the thing I love where the rake is all "I'm marrying for money" but then she falls in love for reeeeal. Recommend recommend recommend. Ongoing, so happy ending tbd.

There are two Catherine the Great-adjacent shows I'd recommend for... Non-conventional romances.

One would obviously be The Great, which is a bitingly dark and fun satirical comedy about the early days of Catherine the Great. Except in season 2... And really, throughout season 1... It turns into a dark romance? Peter and Catherine have an arranged marriage and he's horrible and she hates him and plots to kill him (only after he tries to kill her that one time, and sucker punches her, so TW for that among many, many other things)... But then they start to realize that they're actually way more alike than they realize. Both more cunning than they look, both rather insane, and both ridiculously attracted to each other. Season 2 is like Fleabag, where they basically look at the camera and say "this is a love story". If a mad one. Ongoing, but lol I cannot imagine this show having a CONVENTIONAL ending of any kind. The sex scenes are bomb tho, a fuckton of oral is involved.

Theeeen I'd recommend checking out the Helen Mirren Catherine the Great miniseries. She and Jason Clarke, who play Catherine's irl long-term political partner and lover, have excellent chemistry, and it's kind of great to see an older actress (especially one as hot as Helen Mirren) have love and sex and be deliciously amoral with the man who worships at her feet. Potemkin and Catherine, as they did in real life, have a relationship that goes from fraught passion to companionship and an openness for other partners... But you never doubt that he is the love of her life, and vice versa.

Sylvie's Love is a great romantic movie that's the classic "we were in love then separated by circumstance and now we're back in the same place and I'm with someone else" plot. Very touching, very good, set in the mid-twentieth century and super well-acted. Has a happy ending!

A Room with a View is a classic with a happy ending. I'm always kind of "hmm, idk" about the plot, but everyone loves it and it's super beautiful to look at and very atmospheric at the least. Happy ending!

Cyrano is incredibly gorgeous and romantic and just destroyed me. Does not have a happy ending, but God it's romantic.

Far From the Madding Crowd is another one where I'm like "do I like this, or do I like the look of it and the vibe". But it is romantic and it does have a happy ending.

If you want to watch 1990S RIDONKULOUSNESS then try First Knight. It's the Lancelot-Arthur-Guinevere love triangle, but Richard Gere plays Lancelot and just does his normal accent whereas Julia Ormond plays Guinevere with her normal accent and Sean Connery (ew) plays Arthur with his normal accent. It is. Ridic. But it's got some romantic shit in there. Happy ending (well, for two out of three of them).

Of course, the Emma Thompson Sense and Sensibility is very good. Alan Rickman and Hugh Grant don't make me swooooon in this, but it's romantic and well done. Happy ending.

Lol one of the most romantic, ridiculous, over the top movies I've ever seen is House of Flying Daggers. The love theme in this brings me to tears. The hero is a cocky soldier who is trying to find the leader of this vigilante group called the House of Flying Daggers, so he basically tries to trick this blind warrior woman into giving up the goods while acting like he's on her side. Of course, he falls madly in love. I love hot people with great chemistry. Does not have a happy ending, lmao, at all, BUT GOD WHAT A THRILL.

[avani008]

Historical Make Me Choose! 2. Mughal or Maurya, 8. Religion or Art. Talk About: 3, 6, 9, 15

Make me choose between the Mughal and Maurya dynasties:

This is especially grueling, because--well, luck being on my side--I want to someday write origfic historical fantasy based on both of them. So, to start with, I will take the coward's way out and say both, because they're both entertaining in different ways.

The Mughal dynasty is well-documented, which is amazing for finding out hilarious anecdotes (Hamida Banu dissing Humayun! Akbar's cheetah obsession! Jahangir's hilariously honest autobiography) as well as--reading between the lines--some pretty amazing women. The Mauryas, in contrast, are so spottily documented, we can't even be entirely sure that the Buddhist and Greek/Macedonian sources are even talking about the same events/rulers, but assuming it is so--it's a wild ride, starting with a teenager overthrowing the dominant dynasty and his line conquering most of India within two generations. From a writing standpoint, having so much left empty is a gift, leaving so much available for the imagination. And yet, I wish we knew of more ladies from that history, because what little we do get is so fascinating (Durdhara's family connections and bizarre death! Dharma who sounds steely enough to be a second Kunti! Most of Ashoka's wives, who all seem super strong-minded in their own right.)

Make me choose between studying religion and art.

Oh, religion definitely. Not that art isn't great (it is!), but religion involves so much stories, and such insight into the psychology of any given culture. I had a college instructor who argued that religion and the afterlife told you more than anything about the general optimism/worldview of a culture (ie, Mesopatamia which had erratic floods and a harsh worldview had gods who really didn't care about them; whereas ancient Egypt, with regular floods and prosperity, had an afterlife that, assuming you could get in, was one big party.) Plus, religion affects passing references (how many casual Mahabharata and Ramayana references do you see in India media? Or just in conversation?) and swear words (such that an utterance as hilarious as the word "Zounds" could be an actual profanity. Amazing.)

A historical misconception that you hate.

AHHH there are so many--the inherent classism in deciding Shakespeare couldn't actually be a dude from Stratford, but a university-educated nobleman!--but at the moment, one of the most bemusing is the claim that Mughal princesses were forbidden from marrying. I keep on running into this as fact, and...don't actually see that it has any actual basis in fact, at least not during the reigns of the six major emperors. For evidence, I present the following deep dive:

(behind the cut due to length)

Most of the time I see this cited as "Akbar forbade princesses from marrying" so we'll start with him. Certainly Akbar's aunts and sisters were mostly married, so that's not an issue.

Of Akbar's daughters that I can find: Mahi Begum died young, so she doesn't count. Aram Banu Begum seems to have been --well, if we believe her brother Jahangir--kind of A Lot, despite being her father's favorite, so it seems likely marriage either wasn't her thing, or no one was agreeable to marry her. His other two daughters, Shakr-un-nissa and Khanum Sultan, were both recorded as having married, however, with their marriages arranged by Akbar himself.

But, hey, maybe he came to that decision later. So let's look at his granddaughters: Jahangir had plenty of daughters, and I can't find references to the marriages of all of them (or even how long they lived, for that matter)--at least one, Bahar Banu Begum was married to her cousin Tahmaras, and probably others too. Another of Akbar's granddaughters, Jahan Banu Begum (daughter of Murad) was also married to her cousin Parviz.

Of the generation following: let's put aside Shan Jahan's three daughters for now, since none of them married but i would argue they're a special case. Parviz, who I mentioned before, had one daughter Nadira Banu, who married her cousin Dara Shikoh; his brother Khusrau also had a single daughter Hoshmand, who married (you guessed it!) a cousin. The final granddaughter was Arzani begum, also granddaughter of the disgraced Nur Jahan, about whom I can't find a reputable death date, much less whether or not she was married. So--yes, for the most part, these women all ended up married cousins, but it's not strictly accurate to say they couldn't marry period.

A final note on Aurangazeb, who also gets accused of hte "prevented daughters from marrying" stance: yes, his most prominent daughter Zeb-un-nissa never married, but it certainly seems she had proposals aplenty and her father only vetoed the most prominent because he disapproved of the groom's father (who was his brother. the cousin thing, again.) Two of his other daughters did marry, with no objections recorded.

So honestly? It seems marriage wasn't forbidden by any means. And for those women who didn't--well, is it so impossible to believe that these princesses figured that a life in the imperial harem (which isn't the Orientalist boring fantasy most people imagine, but instead a city of women, with libraries! and schools! and markets! hunt! play chess and polo! From the harem, women could watch politics, or engage in trade, or create architecture, or participate in community service. By no means, it was great, but opportunities sucked all-around for anyone who wasn't a cis-male in that time, and this life must have seemed preferable....) with a loving father/brother was much better than being married to some rando. Plus, esp in the case of Shah Jahan's daughter, their mother died in childbirth, quite infamously--to me, it makes perfect psychological sense that they might all be leery of marriage/childbirth.

A historical figure you think is underrated.

Sadly, most figures from Indian history, but picking one at random: Razia Sultan! Not only awesome for being the first female Muslim ruler in Indian history, but also a really really good one--committed to public service, working for civil rights for the poor and those who didn't share her racial/religious/cultural background, and also open-minded/anti-racist enough to, at the very least, make a man of African descent her foremost advisor and friend. (I ship Razia/Yakut, and NOTP her relationship with Altunia pretty strongly, but even otherwise; she clearly respected Yakut as an equal, which says a lot about her. LOVE HER.

A historical myth/legend/rumour/story (flexible)

Oh, forget it, we're going to talk about Razia and Yakut, or at least the rumor they were romantically involved. A few words on Yakut: he was of Abyssinian ancestry, and actually came to her father's court as a slave, but was soon freed and allowed to rise up the ranks (this was very much a socially accepted Thing in the Mamluk court--more on this later--but he definitely had to face significant racism. Sure, there's no actual proof that he and Razia were involved, but--she made him her Master of the Horse (you know who else did? Elizabeth I for Robert Dudley. Just saying.); she never turned from him, even in the face of nasty rumors, and his loyalty to her meant he died in battle defending her throne; and fwiw, she didn't marry another as long as he lived. It's...questionable, too, how voluntary her marriage to Altunia was to me; certainly, being held hostage by the dude doesn't make for a great start. Now, again like Liz I/Robin Dudley, they could just have been BFFs/platonic soulmates, but if so I don't care--their dynamic is just A+ to me and I love it.

A historical headcanon that you have.

Akbar was dyslexic, and this was the reason behind his famous illiteracy.

[lacrimosathedark]

Hamilton Inaccuracies/Corrections (because why not?)

Okay so, I saw a post on reddit that was like, “what’s some inaccuracies in Hamilton off the top of your head?” and I got a whole bunch...and then I had to double check to make sure if I was right...and I’m pretty long-winded...and  now I have this 5,000ish word monstrosity. And apparently you can only post 1000 characters at a time on reddit. Laaaaame. So here’s some Hamilton facts I’ve gathered in my brain. Since it was kinda off the top of my head despite being so long, it’s kinda vague in some places, so if anyone wants to expand on anything (or correct me if I oopsed somewhere) please do! Though nicely please.

Also I am also awful at citing things, but I know I learned some of this from @john-laurens and @ciceroprofacto so thank you.

LET’S BEGIN!

Act 1

Rachel Faucette was not a prostitute, but she was a “whore” in the sense that she did what she fucking wanted with her body. During her first marriage she may or may not have been sleeping around, but she refused to stay with John Lavien, her husband, anymore. So he had her arrested. And he could do that. Because patriarchy and theocracy. And she was essentially put in solitary confinement. You can see why she tried to leave, right? She tried to get their marriage annulled or get a divorce. I forget what the issue was but she couldn’t and eventually she just moved to another island where she met James Hamilton.

The intro song makes it seem like Alexander was an only child. He actually had an older brother, James Jr., but he kinda fucked off after their mother died, working and taking care of himself. They also had an older half-brother Peter Lavien, but I don’t think they really knew him other than as the son of their mother’s abusive ex who took everything from them when she died. John Lavien was able to do that because when Rachel was with James Hamilton, she had not been able to get legally divorced from him so she wasn’t really married to James Hamilton, so James Jr. and Alexander were illegitimate ie bastards. He was an asshole. I don't think Peter had anything against the Hamiltons, but I think he grew up to be a Loyalist so. He actually made some trouble in South Carolina for Henry Laurens, John's dad! But I think I read somewhere he also left money for Alex and James Jr. In his will, which is sweet.

This is more visual since it’s not specified in the song, but in the show, Hamilton’s cousin mimes hanging himself. Peter Lytton’s cause of death if I recall was inconclusive, but he was in his bed and there was a lot of blood. So, yeah, he didn’t hang himself.

Alexander did not punch the bursar. However he did return to Princeton later during the war and blew a canon through the school and apparently decapitated a painting of King George lololol. He was under orders, but yknow. Probably felt pretty good after he was rejected for accelerated courses. He wasn’t the only bastard rejected, though! Ben Franklin’s bastard son was too. The guy in charge of admissions, Witherspoon, hated bastards as a concept and Princeton was a very religious school at the time I believe.

It may have been the plan by Aaron and Esther Burr for Aaron Jr to graduate Princeton, but like, he couldn’t really be sure of that? He was like 2 years old when they died, and his older sister Sally was 4 I believe, maybe 5.

Hercules Mulligan met Alex in 1772. His older brother Hugh knew Alex’s old employer in St. Croix and helped him get to mainland America. Alex and Hercules lived together for a long while, and Hercules is actually who got him interested in the revolution.

John Laurens was in England in 1776. He wouldn’t meet Hamilton and Lafayette until he accepted his post as Washington’s aide-de-camp upon his return in August of 1777.

Lafayette couldn’t have met Hamilton before August 1777 because that’s when he met Washington, and he was appointed as a volunteer to the Continental Army only a week prior, and before that he had been in France. But Lafayette later declared their relationship to be like that of brothers, Alexander his closest connection in the states besides Washington.

Lafayette admired and absolutely adored Laurens and they were besties, but neither of them knew Mulligan. They may have met in passing, or heard about him from Hamilton, but nothing more.

“Lafayette” was actually a nickname based on his title of “Marquis de la Fayette”. In his autobiography, he wrote: “It’s not my fault I was baptized like a Spaniard, with the name of every conceivable saint who might offer me more protection in battle.” I’m glad he thought it was funny at least. His name is Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de la Fayette.

Hercules Mulligan is not known to fuck horses.

The Revolution had already sorta started. Actually, Hercules and Alexander had been part of local militias before 1776.

This is more of a miscommunication since the actors are close in age, though the lyrics try to get it across. There’s a reason Mulligan says he’s got the others “in loco parentis”. In 1776 Hamilton and Lafayette would have been 19, Laurens would have been 22, and Mulligan would have been 36.

I think we all know “Laurens, I like you a lot” does not cover the scope of their relationship but that’s rather self explanatory so unless someone asks I’ll leave it at that. And for other clarifications. But at the very least I’ll share this: Anyone who saw them knew they were like attached at the hip (without knowing how attached *winkwonk*) and you could almost always contact one through the other. Laurens was notoriously bad at answering letters, to Hamilton too (and Alex did bitch about it because he is insecure and needs love), but it became quickly known he got back to Hamilton fastest so people would be like “Tell Laurens I said hi!” or “Hey, I need to get these to Laurens, you send them to him.” Which is hilarious. I just imagine Alexander going, “Why me?”

While all of them are Revolutionaries, Laurens is the only one you could solidly call an abolitionist, and Mulligan’s even shaky on the manumission part. He was supposedly part of the Manumission Society Hamilton helped start, but Mulligan also personally owned slaves and was never known to have freed them (One helped him with spy shit. His name was Cato!). In fairness, Hamilton and Lafayette wholeheartedly agreed with Laurens, and Hamilton was the biggest supporter of his battalion plan, and both of them did try to continue working towards equality after the war, but it was never the top priority for either of them and their lives kinda went to hell, so it fell to the wayside. Lafayette actually did some nifty stuff worth looking at, and Hamilton might have tried to keep one of John Lauren’s freed men from Henry Laurens! But as slavery stuck around for a while, it clearly wasn’t anything significant.

Angelica would meet and befriend Thomas Jefferson in Europe, but she would never manage to convince him to put women in a sequel because he’s a huge misogynist and told her in multiple letters that politics isn’t for women and I think he deserves a shoe up his southern backside. Side note, it always bothered me that Lin played up the misogyny in the musical. I mean, yeah, all of them would be misogynists compared to us, but for their time, Hamilton wasn’t so bad. If there was anyone to play up misogyny with, it was Jefferson, because he would tell Angelica for years and years that politics could never make women happy, and that the women in France were foolish for trying etc.. Hamilton would actually discuss politics with Angelica frequently and openly. And there’s a proto-feminist in the cast that was never recognized—Aaron Burr! He respected Theodosia Sr. as an equal and she was his most valuable political ally, and he made sure Theodosia Jr. got the same education any boy of her time would have. He actually respected women to a decent degree. Not to say he wasn't as much of a ho as Hamilton cuz yeah that's accurate (but they were both disaster bisexuals more on Burr's sexuality later)

Farmer Refuted was an essay Hamilton wrote arguing against Samuel Seabury's posts. They weren't shouting in the public square(but Lin got the sass right. I love his face when Hamilton and Seabury are fighting over the podium). Seabury was also really really old, not young and cute like Thayne, hence the line about "mange". Blech.

General Montgomery didn’t take a bullet in the neck, it was a grapeshot from a canon in his head (and his thighs), but close enough I guess. Side note: Burr actually served a short interim on Washington’s staff, but only for like 10 days because they hated each other lolol.

Alexander didn’t bring Laurens, Mulligan, or Lafayette to Washington. Lafayette joined up with the Continental Army in 1777 and quickly convinced them he wasn’t like the other French nobles; he was a glory-seeking kid with a boner for America (for some reason???). Laurens was requested by Washington to join his military family and he arrived also in August 1777 just after Lafayette. Like previously stated, Mulligan was doing shit even before Hamilton did.

Alexander would not have been in charge of spy shit (though may have been somewhat involved). Washington had people like Mulligan for that, who actually saved Washington a few times. But also, the "King’s men who might let some things slide" was the tactic Mulligan used. He was actually very charming, and his wife was very high in British society and he was a skilled tailor, so they were thought of well among the redcoats, and he got a lot of information through chatting with his customers. He also could usually smooth-talk his way out of trouble. Actually, Mulligan blended in so well, when the war was over, people in the city wanted him out cuz they thought he was a Loyalist. So George fucking Washington paid him a visit and commissioned I think a coat from him, and that cleared that up. He got a LOT of business after that.

Alexander would not be Washington’s right hand man, or at least, not his only one if Lin was using that to mean aide-de-camp. In that case, Laurens would also be Washington’s right hand man, along with many men not named in the musical.

John Laurens may have been reliable with the ladies (comes with the territory of being hot, rich, and a perfect gentleman), but he most certainly didn’t want to be. His father noted, rather proudly at the time, that as a young teenager he expressed no interest in girls. John was also married by 1780, and at least Alexander knew. (he told John he'd found out in the well-known April 1779 letter. You know... “Cold in my professions...find me a wife...the length of my nose...” That one.) Because John apparently didn't tell people he was married. Laurens. Sweetheart. Get. Your. Shit. Together.

John also would not be at this ball. February 1779 to March 1780 he is fighting down south, and this ball was early 1780.

The tomcat thing may be half true. Martha Washington did supposedly name a cat Hamilton, but it was an affectionate thing. The slang tomcat meaning ho wasn’t a thing at that time, so it couldn’t be named to tease Alex for his promiscuity. I believe this was one of the many things John Adams made up to slander Hamilton.

Hamilton and Eliza had met before 1780. They had met once two years prior at a dinner her father had hosted. Also, Hamilton had been courting her friend Kitty Livingston, and his friend and fellow aide Tench Tilghman had been attempting to court Eliza, and they’d actually done at least one sort-of double date (which is adorable). So this shouldn’t have been the first time they’d seen each other. Could still be when they fell in love, though, since they started courting after this. Which is cute to think about.

Speaking of Tench and Eliza! I don't remember when this took place but Tilghman journaled it, he went out on something of a hike with a few ladies and they got to a cliff. Of course, he had to help the girls climb up. Except Eliza who started climbing by herself like a natural to the bewilderment and likely horror of the other ladies. Elizabeth Schuyler was a bamf okay?

Of course everyone knows by now, Angelica was married before Eliza. During the Winter’s Ball, she’d already eloped with Jack Carter aka John Barker Church and run away to Boston.

Their courtship was not that fast. Not like, weeks. More like months. Fun fact, Eliza is the only of the five (yes FIVE) Schuyler sisters who didn’t elope and actually got her parents permission! But here’s a heartbreaking fun fact: while Alex was courting Eliza, Laurens was taken prisoner and then on probation. He wasn’t allowed to leave the state of Pennsylvania. He was mentally in a very dark place. Alex kind of procrastinated telling Laurens about Eliza, didn’t say he was courting anyone until they were already engaged.

I can't leave this alone if I'm sad you have to be too. Alex was hella depressed during this time too. Of course he was a soldier so he couldn't see Eliza as much as he'd have liked. On top of that, he kept pushing for an exchange for John and kept getting rejected because they couldn't show preference for him. And then Laurens was sending him very few letters, of course, and the ones he did send were very depressed, even suicidal sounding. He had to work while dealing with that. He had to keep begging Eliza to write to him to be reassured that she still liked him.

No one could show up for Hamilton for the wedding. Some sources say fellow aide James McHenry showed up, but he’s the only one. Alexander even invited his deadbeat dad, offered to pay all his travel expenses and everything, guess how that turned out. So Eliza’s side of the hall was packed and his was empty. God, can you imagine how sad that is?

Another heartbreaking fun fact! John Laurens was out of probation and could have made it to the wedding, was invited (Hamilton, I kid you not, jokingly invited him to a threesome with his new wife in a letter: “I wish you were at liberty to transgress the bounds of Pensylvania. I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation.” (emphasis is original to Hamilton. As is the misspelling of Pennsylvania. Yes, seriously.)) and John did not go. Instead he went back to work trying to talk his way out of getting sent as an envoy to France and suggesting Alexander to take his place. You know. His boyfriend who just got married. Sure, he was right that Hamilton was better equipped for the job, but yknow. Another fun fact, one of the guys who voted for John to be the one to go to France was John’s ex-boyfriend Francis Kinloch. Who was a turncoat, and had been a royalist when he and Laurens split. How’s that for some twisty bullshit.

Sorry, this one isn’t about the musical, it’s a tangent, I just got excited about that quote. Both that style of innuendo and the misspelling of Pennsylvania are consistent in Hamilton’s writing. Listening to john-lauren’s podcast about the April 1779 letter can really help you understand how Hammy uses innuendo but also I just love listening to it it’s insightful and hilarious and I love John Laurens but y u do this and my heart hurts for Hamilton but he is also a ho but aNYWAY. As for Pensylvania...well, he kinda made that mistake on an important document. ...It’s The Constitution. He misspelled Pennsylvania on The Constitution. No big deal. Not like something that could haunt his legacy forever. Oh my god I’m so sorry.

Philip Schuyler did have sons. Five in fact. Two of them died pretty young though I think, considering there are three kids in a row named John Bradstreet Schuyler. The other two were named Philip Jeremiah and Rensselaer.

Laurens, Lafayette, and Mulligan were all married before Hamilton. Hercules Mulligan married Elizabeth Sanders in 1773. Lafayette married his beloved Adrienne in 1774. John Laurens was regretfully obliged to marry Martha Manning in 1776.

Sigh. Again with the misogyny. Anyway, I wanted to comment on the marriage as a loss of freedom. From what I can tell, Elizabeth helped Hercules with his spy work at home. John was literally fighting a war across the ocean from his wife, and probably having an illegal affair with Alexander (though to be fair to him, he was kind of running away from Martha because he didn't marry her for love, gosh, there are no winners here). Lafayette absolutely adored his wife but still was also fighting a war an ocean away, and had multiple affairs, at least one with his wife’s blessing. So yeah, losing your freedom with marriage? Bullshit.

Despite where it is in the musical and Eliza singing the beginning, Stay Alive is roughly about Valley Forge, which would be December of 1777 through June of 78. So before the ball and wedding. (Fun fact! A lot of people theorize Valley Forge as when Hamilton and Laurens’ relationship may have escalated into romantic and/or sexual territory. They may have had more privacy, as small temporary buildings were being made to better withstand the cold, and Hamilton was sick a lot during that time and did need tending a lot. West Indian boi did not like Northern winter.) But yeah, Congress being stupid and the army resorting to eating their horses sometimes and not being able to buy food and equipment? All true. It was a real bad winter.

Mulligan wouldn’t have to go back to New York, he never would have left. He remained there as a tailor and a spy throughout the war. He wouldn’t have been traveling with Washington.

Hamilton and Laurens didn't write essays so much as start working out John's battalion plan and writing letters trying to push for it.

This duel happened in 1778, so like. This timeline is so fucky.

Stay Alive makes it seem like Hamilton was the one who wanted to duel Lee, but it was 100% Laurens from the start. The off-Broadway version demonstrates it a bit better. Hamilton was Lauren's second to save his ass. Hamilton had a rough relationship with Washington, but Laurens admired him greatly and would have willingly defended his commander’s honor. John was a Good Boy who always bowed his head to his asshole father, even at first for his battalion plan, but John wouldn’t let even his father talk shit about Washington. Fun fact about this duel, Alex and John were late to the duel because they “got lost in the woods”. Oooookay. Suuuuuuure. And Baron von Steuben was straight. (Fact: Steuben was very gay and pretty much pushed out of Europe for it. And he actually also had challenged Lee! They talked things out before this.)

Aaron Burr was not Charles Lee’s second. His second was a Major Evan Edwards. Lin wanted a parallel with the final duel. To be fair, that was a really cool way to do it and I like it better that way.

Alexander Hamilton could NOT agree that duels are dumb and immature. He was in 10 duel challenges as a participant in his lifetime, 9 of which he was the challenger. One time he challenged two people at once. One time he challenged an entire politcal party apparently. No, I am not kidding. He had a bad day. And I think you know the one time he wasn’t the challenger.

Lee did not yield on the first shot, nor was Laurens satisfied. Lee was pretty much like, “It’s just a flesh wound!” and wanted to go another round and Laurens agreed, but Hamilton and Edwards managed to talk them down. Yes he was shot in the side. But that wasn’t all because Laurens absolutely roasted Lee at his court martial. 

Lee: Were you ever in an action before?

Laurens: I have been in several actions; I did not call that an action, as there was no action previous to the retreat. 

I love this man. So much. The sass of this man.

We don’t know if Washington was angry about the duel with Lee. We do know that Laurens, and probably Hamilton, had Christmas dinner with him two days later. When Hamilton left, it was because Washington had snapped over a misunderstanding (caused by Lafayette actually, and he really tried to make it better because Lafayette is a sweetheart), and then continued to deny Hamilton the command he requested, and he resigned. It was entirely unrelated to the duel and Laurens. However, the daddy issues are real.

I don’t know if Lafayette went to France for more funds and came back with more guns, but Laurens certainly did! Ben Franklin told him to chill, but he actually got super impatient and ended up supposedly disrespecting and maybe kinda threatening the court, demanding what he needed, and walking out. They were were kind of shocked and impressed into giving more than had been requested. Any existing deities bless John Laurens. I love him.

Lafayette actually nominated his own aide to lead the charge and Hamilton appealed for himself and Washington finally gave in to Hamilton.

Laurens was not in South Carolina. When he finally got back from France, he was sent to Yorktown. He actually was commanding the group Alexander led. (Power couple lol) He also helped with negotiations after the battle. Also, supposedly making the British play ‘The World Turned Upside Down’ on their way out was Laurens’ idea because boy is made of sass and spite.

Henry Laurens would not have sent a letter to Hamilton about John’s death. Even if he would have, he couldn’t. At that time, he’d been locked up in the Tower of London as a prisoner. We have no idea when or how Alexander found out, or who might have told him. We know he wrote to Nathanael Greene on October 25 and Lafayette on November 3 (literally 2 months after Laurens' death), and the mentions of Laurens were very short. It’s thought that he really couldn’t talk about Laurens. People have compared it to the stories of how Benjamin Tallmadge apparently couldn’t hear Nathan Hale’s name without crying.

After Yorktown Alexander resigned and John went down south to flush British troops out of the southern states. His group was ambushed at Combahee River and he decided to charge instead of wait for backup and he died. Many people think it was a combination of his usual recklessness, suicidality, and glory-seeking mixed with a desperation with the war coming to an end. It was such a small skirmish. He deserved better. He left his daughter, Frances, whom he had never met, orphaned, as her mother had died months earlier from sickness. She was adopted by John’s oldest younger sister, also coincidentally Martha Laurens (though married was Martha Laurens Ramsay).

The Levi Weeks case was years later than that, in 1800, though it was alongside Burr. Hamilton actually lost his first trial as a defense lawyer and was not with Burr.

The whole conversation where Hamilton proposes Burr help him write the Federalist Papers is fake. Lin made that up entirely.

John Church’s wealth kinda...varies. He was a gambler. At first, he was actually in quite a bit of debt. He did make it big eventually and he and Angelica moved to Europe. He really didn’t seem to be a lot of fun to most people, but Angelica eloped with him. She chose him against her father’s wishes. I don’t get why Lin kept writing lines saying she didn’t love him, at least at first. He also does this in the cut song Congratulations where she says “I languished in a loveless marriage” bish you eloped wat She also lived as a socialite and was adored by anyone who met her apparently, so like???? da fuq Lin. Didja really do Laurens dirty for these lies or at the very least uncertanties? Could you not prop up that romance without making her say she hates her husband?

Act 2

More of a personality miscommunication. Irl Thomas Jefferson was shy, quiet, and hypersensitive, nothing like how Daveed plays him. If you knew a guy like the real Jefferson in real life you might be endeared to him out of pity or because he seems sweet, but in the short time of a musical that would immediately be read as cold and unlikable. So the best way to portray “this guy is a likable asshole” is to make him loud and made of sass which is what Daveed does magnificently. So, not at all accurate to real Jefferson, but gets the concept of him across.

Thomas was not off getting high with the French. Probably. He was making negotiations for the Revolution. And abusing Sally Hemings (his, at the time, 14 year old slave, who was also his sister-in-law, and 30 years his junior, and was brought along to entertain his daughter). And actually probably chatting up with Angelica!

By the time Philip was 9, he had two sisters, Angelica (7) and his foster/adopted sister Frances Antill (6), but he also had two brothers already, Alexander Jr. (5) and James Alexander (3), with maybe another one on the way since William Stephen would be born next year.

The whole comma thing is backwards. It was Angelica who made the initial mistake. Hamilton pointedly and flirtatiously teased her about it before closing it with “Adieu ma chere, soeur” French for “Goodbye my dear, sister”. So it’s more playful and less lovey dovey in context, so the tone is all wrong. It’s not romantic, it’s teasing and snarky.

Say No To This feels like it’s over quick. The affair lasted a year, not just the summer Eliza was away.

Clermont Street wasn’t renamed until many years later.

I don’t know that Alex has always considered Burr a friend. Irl they weren’t as close, and Hamilton was keenly aware of how slimy Burr could be.

Lafayette was NOT fine. He was imprisoned a lot during the French Revolution, the poor man, and many members of his wife’s family were killed. HOWEVER! Hamilton was not just sitting by. Angelica and her husband did make an attempt to rescue Lafayette, and the Hamiltons fostered Lafayette’s son Georges Washington Lafayette (yes that was his actual name). So Hamilton also did not forget Lafayette.

Not all his defendants got acquitted, obviously. Stop being cocky, Ham.

People comment on how Jefferson whines about Hamilton’s fashion sense while literally dressed in violet velvet. The original plan was to have him in browns, but Daveed is just such a friggin star that they just had to give him something brighter and decided to go with a Prince-inspired look. Originally the browns were going to be representative of his supposed representation of farmers. Though note here: Jefferson’s agricultural representation is much the same as modern Republicans’ rural representation. More for show.

Actually, let's get political for a sec. I've done some research in my hyperfixation and in searches for Hamilton shiz I've ended up stumbling into far-right nonsense and I know how to recognize the degrees of nonsense from years of actually paying attention to it now because this is what I do apparently. Which is weird, right? Lin kinda portrays him like a lefty. Well, here's the thing. Any proud historically educated Republican will tell you that their roots are in the Federalist Party. Which is technically true. What they will neglect to mention is the flip between parties that happened when the Republicans decided to use southerners racism to their advantage in elections. Being subtly racist can get the racists and the non-racists on your side! Yeah, it's gross. Federalists are more like Democrats. The corporatists. They clearly care more about companies and Wall Street, but they put actual action into social progress on rare occasion. Democratic-Republicans are like Republicans, conservatives who don't want social change and rail against it and pretend they aren't for corporate interests while being just as bad as the other guys. But Republicans have a tendency to rewrite history to paint themselves as the good guys, or reclaim things that aren't theirs as their own. Just look at the Civil War! Or...literally just...America I guess. Yikes. But yeah, here's your warning. Don't just go looking at and trusting things labelled Federalist. It likely won't be friendly.

John Adams didn’t fire Hamilton, Hamilton left. Eventually. And this is not the only time this kind of verbal confrontation happens, and not the one that destroys the Federalist Party. That actually happens after the Reynolds Pamphlet. But John Adams hates Alexander Hamilton with the burning passion of a thousand suns and really kinda earns this.

I’m not sure if he specifically called Alex a Creole bastard but I wouldn’t be surprised, there were other similar racist and bastard-related insults. You know the tomcat thing mentioned above. He started the rumor of the affair with Angelica. He accused him of being a rake (male version of whore at the time). He also may have behind closed doors accused him of being a sodomite. His (probably gay) son Charles helped with that one, bringing back rumors from a dinner he had with Hamilton (who he was working for) and John Church because Church joked about Alex being fond of a guy. Adams probably thought working for Hamilton was what made his son gay and alcoholic (Charles was an alcoholic and may have died in part because of that; Hamilton was not an alcoholic, but he supposedly could not hold his drink. He was smol).

Jefferson, Madison, and Burr didn’t accuse Hamilton of speculation. It was James Monroe, Abraham Venable, and Frederick Muhlenberg. Lin wanted to keep consistent representation of the Democratic-Republican party. But anyway, the whole thing went to hell because Monroe sent the letters to Jefferson (or I’ve also heard Monroe gave them to Madison who sent them to Jefferson) who, the spiteful gangly fucker, started spreading rumors because fuck Hamilton, amirite? Hamilton challenged Monroe to a duel over that. And who stopped this duel? Aaron Burr. He gets to be the good guy now and then.

It wasn’t just total strangers that got Alex off the island. He was sponsored by his cousin Ann Lytton and his teacher Reverend Hugh Knox. Also, he was kind of expected to get an education and come back and help out the island...guess what he never did. Oops.

This one I may be wrong, but I’m pretty sure. I think Eliza was upstate with her family when the Reynolds Pamphlet was released, away from Alex. I also know she had recently given birth to their son, William Stephen. A lot of people think Alexander had been keeping that in mind. Eliza had had a miscarriage once before, when she was under a lot of stress and alone and with the kids and he had to be away (Whiskey Rebellion), so some people think he made sure she was surrounded by her family and waited until the child was born to drop this on her, and gave her distance from him if she needed it. At least he knew he fucked up, and he really did love her.

Those weren’t Alexander’s guns. They belonged to John Church.

It was quite some time between Philip’s challenge and the actual duel.

Another age miscommunication; Eacker was 27ish and Philip was 19 when the duel happened. There was a whole 8 years between them! 

Eacker didn’t shoot early. Actually, both of them stood staring at each other for a really long time doing nothing. But Philip went to make a move and Eacker shot him.

Alex and Eliza had made up from the Reynolds Pamphlet bullshit before Philip died. When he passed, Eliza was already pregnant with the son they would also name Philip in honor of his older brother.

Hamilton wasn’t really the deciding factor in the election of 1800. But he did say that about Burr and it did help swing the vote somewhat. But also, this was before Philip died. Philip died in 1801.

If a vote is that close, you can’t win in a landslide??? That’s not how words work???? Mister Miranda????? You are a writer??????? Sir???????

Burr actually held a term as Jefferson’s Vice President.

The Burr vs Hamilton Duel was in 1804 and was actually about another election and other things Hamilton was saying about him. Burr was running to be governor of New York and lost but heard about Alexander telling people the things he listed Alexander saying in Your Obedient Servant.

Thayne should not have played Alexander’s doctor. Sydney should have played Alexander’s doctor. Do you know why? Philip and Alexander had the same doctor when they died. Alexander took that doctor with him to the duel. His name was David Hosack.

While there’s evidence to suggest Burr experienced immediate regret (he stepped forward as if wanting to see if Hamilton was okay and supposedly asked after him and wished him well before Alexander passed) in the years that followed, until he was on his death bed, he expressed nothing but neutrality or even pride for having shot Hamilton. The ‘the world was wide enough’ comment could plausibly be entirely made up, and even if it were true, it was supposedly said toward the end of Burr’s life. Burr's life was quite a ride after Alex. He tried to make like his own empire out of Texas, and then of course was tried for treason, but he got out of that, but then everyone hated him for that ON TOP OF already hating him for killing Hamilton, so he had some crazy journey around Europe for a while. He kept a journal, writing entries like letters to Theo. The most notable things I think he writes he'd "been amused for an hour with a very handsome young Dane. Don't smile. It is a male!" which implies maybe Theodosia knew her dad was bi and was at least amused by it? And he spent a while living with Jeremy Bentham, who is generally accepted to have been gay (if you want more Burr gayness look into Jonathan Bellamy and Robert Troup. Troup knew Hamilton too!). Unrelated to his sexuality but I find it important, Burr spent, in modern cash, $40 on a coconut, in his own words, "like an ass." He returned to America eventually. I dont remember if it was before or after his foreign adventures, but his beloved grandson (also named Aaron Burr) died, and then not long after, Theodosia was lost at sea on her way to visit her dad. No one knows what happened to her. It's so sad. Anyway he married a wealthy widow named Eliza, spent all her money on charity, and died the day their divorce was finalized. And Eliza Jumel's divorce lawyer was Alexander Hamilton Jr..

Poor Eliza couldn’t go through all of her husband’s papers. Her son, John Church Hamilton, finished the work for her when she no longer could and put together the biography that inspired Chernow’s that inspired Lin’s musical. (He named a son Alexander and a daughter Elizabeth. He even named one of his sons Laurens! Aw.) And we have come full circle.

The End :33

There’s probably more but that’s what I’ve got. Thanks for reading!

[corvus--rex]

Semi-abandoned soulmate au. I actually started this one before The Sound of Color, although this is vastly different from that one. This particular au also doesn't have the requirement that soulmates are always romantic (ie Pidge and their soulmate). It jumps around a little, and those sections are marked with dividers. Soulmate strangers-to-lovers. . .

~*~*~*~

Soulmarks. Everyone had one. An indelible mark that bound two people together. Age 13 was when it would start. The mark “waking up” as some called it, and reaching out for its companion mark. Most soulmates were within a few years of each other, so the lingering tingle of a mark searching for its mate usually didn’t last long.

Lance was lucky that way. His mark sprang to life on his thirteenth birthday and quieted three months later. There was no way to know who or where his soulmate was at that point, but he knew they were three months younger than him. He had been getting ready for school that day when the constant tingle in his mark faded.

He’d always liked the quarter note-shaped mark on the inside of his left wrist. What confused him were the numbers that circled it. No two marks were the same, and Lance knew that his soulmate would have something different. But those numbers confused him. 1030211933. Trying to figure it out was a favorite pastime throughout middle and high school, but he never could get there. He hadn’t met his soulmate yet, but he hoped that it would make sense when he did.

Once two marks found each other, the secondary connection opened. The marks on the soul allowed for marks on the body. Words, doodles, full-blown artwork. Drawing or writing on skin would appear on a connected soulmate. Once Lance’s mark had connected, the first thing he did was ask his soulmate about the numbers. They didn’t know either. But he did find out that his soulmate’s mark sat on their right hip, it was a feather, and they didn’t have those numbers but they did have a series of roman numerals along the feather’s shaft that read:

X X X X X X I X I X X X X I I I

They continued to talk for years, learning about each other. They had decided not to share identifying information like names or location, but Lance knew that his soulmate had a twin and that their parents had adopted their cousin when their cousin’s parents died in an accident. They didn’t know anything about the accident because they’d been too young at the time and no one had explained it since. Lance told them that he had three siblings, that he was a twin, too, and that his older sister connected with her soulmate the same day he had.

He lay in his bed in the dorm he shared with his best friend Hunk, rereading the last message his soulmate had sent him about how college sucked and how they already had an in-class performance a month into the semester. He’d responded with a note about how trying to balance classes with rehearsals as the lead in his school’s fall musical was kicking his ass. Lance already knew that his soulmate was studying music at a college close to where they grew up. And they knew that he was majoring in theatre at a college a three-hour drive from home.

Hunk trudged into their dorm room and threw himself onto his bed. “Remind me again why I decided this was a good idea?” he groaned.

“Which part?” Lance asked in return.

“The part where I decided to be a pastry chef and subject myself to the hell that is the one professor I can’t get away from?”

“Because you love baking and always have and one asshole can’t make you hate doing what you love.”

“I swear she just likes to terrorize us. There’s that guy I told you about – Sal, the one I had a class with freshman year and he transferred to general culinary and now he’s back – she hates him. And I don’t know why. But then, she hates me, too. Pretty sure it’s that bun. It’s so tight she doesn’t need a face lift. But I’m also convinced that Chef Dayak is just evil.”

“Hey, at least you have Shay there with you. Not everyone gets to have their soulmate in class with them all day,” Lance pointed out.

“How’s it with yours?” Hunk asked.

“We’re working our way up to talking about meeting. I know I wanted to wait until after graduation, but I’m getting impatient, y’know? It’s been eight years and I don’t want to wait anymore. But I get that they do. So…yeah. Anyway,” he said, shaking himself out of that particular spiral, “You going to the Halloween party this year?”

“Dude! It’s a month away!”

Lance sat up, turning to his best friend, one eyebrow arched. “Seriously? You say this like there’s such a thing as too early. And no, it’s only three weeks. We need to start now.”

Hunk groaned again, this time in only partial exasperation, and sat up. “Fine. The fuck are you planning this year?”

Lance just laughed. Hunk threw a pillow at him, collapsing in his own fit of giggling when a startled Lance took the pillow directly to the face. Lance’s alarm sounded, loud and annoying. He groaned, throwing Hunk’s pillow back, and fumbled for his phone to turn the blaring sound off.

“Fuck me. I have to get to rehearsal.”

In an apartment just off campus, Keith stopped playing and pulled the pencil out of his hair, making yet another correction to his scribbled sheet music. He started over, again, ignoring the key in the door and his roommate coming back in. He ignored their slight form dropping their overpacked backpack on the floor and throwing themselves onto the other end of the couch with their laptop and notebook. Keith was too focused on his music to pay much attention to Pidge.

Except that Pidge wanted his attention right then. “Hey. Asshole,” they said, throwing a ball of notebook paper at him.

“Yes, hellspawn?” he asked casually, setting his guitar on its stand by the couch, “What the fuck do you want?”

“I’m on the committee for the party. You’re coming,” they said while typing away on their laptop.

“No. I’m not. I don’t go to parties, and you know it. Why the fuck are you so determined for me to go?”

Pidge looked up, fixing him with their stare. “Because I said so. And because Matt’s going to be there. His girlfriend’s going too. You actually like Neve. So you’re going.”

“Including you, that’s three people I’d be willing to talk to. Why should I bother?” he stopped, a dreaded thought sparking as to why they were so hellbent on his going to the party. “It’s because it’s a week after my birthday, isn’t it?”

“What? You mean that thing you ignore every year except for the proliferation of doodles from your soulmate? Why would that have anything to do with it?”

“I'm still not going,” Keith insisted.

“We’ll see about that,” Pidge answered cryptically. They went back to their laptop, typing furiously. They stayed that way, ignoring Keith’s death glare until he gave up and went back to his music.

Eventually, Keith decided that the music portion of his brain was fried and gave up for the night. Pidge was buried in their laptop, writing a paper for their robotics class at top speed. Ignoring them for the moment, Keith opened his own laptop, going back to the English assignment he still hadn’t finished. It was due by the next class, which was two days away, but he’d been putting it off for longer than that. He typed lazily at it for a while before a horrible thought hit him and he realized that his previous assessment had been wrong. He glared up at Pidge over his screen.

“She’s going, isn’t she?” he asked.

“Who?” Pidge asked back, pretending they didn’t know what he meant.

“You know who.”

“If you’re referring to your sister, then yes, she is.”

Keith sighed. “Just because she knows who her soulmate is now, that doesn’t mean that you’re right. Mine could be literally anyone.”

Pidge closed their laptop. “And you’re in denial. I can not believe that your twin sister happens to have a soulmate who has a younger brother who is also a twin and his soulmate has a twin. The odds of that happening are so small as to be inconceivable! Not to mention the part where Acxa’s soulmate and her brother both connected with theirs on the same day.”

“Ok, I’ll give you that it’s weird. But you don’t know anything about Acxa’s soulmate’s siblings, and neither does she. And not everyone’s met theirs yet. You haven’t! All you know is their handle on Steam!”

“So? I also know that Beezer’s on the other side of the country. I know that we won’t get to meet in person until after graduation. All I'm saying is that this is a little too weird to be a coincidence.”

“And I’m not going to let you harass my sister’s soulmate about her siblings on the day they’re meeting face to face for the first time. Leave it alone, Pidge.”

“Fine,” they said, going back to their paper.

Keith knew full well that Pidge would not leave it alone, but there was only so much he could do to stop them.

A few days later, Lance dragged his twin sister, Hunk, and Shay to the nearest Halloween pop-up costume store. None of them had found anything they liked, and Lance was getting bored. Shay had wandered off to the decoration part of the store, and Hunk was making sure the twins didn’t get into trouble. But Hunk had gotten briefly distracted and lost them.

“Jules no.” Ah, there was Lance.

“Jules yes.” And his sister.

“Are you two still arguing?” Hunk asked as he approached the twins.

“Hunk,” Lance said, putting his hands on Hunk’s shoulders, “She wants us to be the Wonder Twins again. I absolutely refuse. We did that once when we were like nine.” He felt something hit his back and whipped around to find his sister holding a Wonder Twins costume. “Ana Julieta Alameda-McClain, get that fucking thing away from me.”

“Oh, fine. You’re no fun,” Jules pouted. She put it back, then turned around, spotting something else. “Ooh! Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch?”

“What the fuck – no! I’m never going Halloween shopping with you again. You’re on your own,” Lance said, wandering off and taking Hunk with him.

Hunk was laughing. “Why do you keep letting her do this, dude?”

“I don’t know. Anyway, I say we go over to The Costume Company. I think I’m done with mass-produced crap.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll go find Shay and meet up with you two at the car,” Hunk agreed, heading in the direction he’d last seen Shay.

Lance reluctantly went back to his sister. “We’re going to The Costume Company,” he said without getting her attention.

“Hm? Ok,” Jules answered, not paying attention to her twin.

“Bye, then.” He started to leave without her, getting halfway down the aisle of the Halloween pop-up before she realized what he’d said.

“Lance! Get back here, you ass!” she yelled after him.

He ignored her as payback for her insistence on twin costumes and kept going. She chased him all the way to his car, where Hunk and Shay were already waiting. Lance finally lost his composure, cracking up when he reached his waiting friends.

“Leandro. Alejandro. Alameda. McClain. I am going to kill you,” Jules growled while out of breath from chasing him.

“No you won’t,” he said, “Mamá would kill you in return.”

Shay saw her opportunity and took it. “Shotgun!” she announced, hopping into the passenger seat.

“Shay, I love you,” Hunk said, getting in behind Lance, effectively separating the twins.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Acxa, just promise me you won’t give in to Pidge. They’re being totally insufferable with this,” Keith said. He lay on his bed, earbuds connected to the call he was on with his twin.

“You know me better than that. Gremlin won’t get shit out of me. And she’s not getting anywhere near V at the party."

~*~*~*~

Links to the rest of the series:

1 | 2 | 3* | 4 | 5* | 6* | 7 | 8 | 9* | 10 | 11 | 12* | 13 | 14 | 15* | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19*

[roqueamadi]

Planning for a LotR Regency AU (Boromir/OFC)

I'm not going to tag this because it's going to make me look completely insane, but I thought @scyllas-revenge and @trenko-heart you guys might be interested... I have spent way too much time on this (ngl it was fun though xD )

The challenge: How to convert the LotR characters into Jane Austen-style regency characters? I've watched the entire Ellie Dashwood YouTube series to try to ensure I correctly understand how titles and lineages work. Here were my problems and the ways I've decided to tackle them as I plan this fic - some of this may change once I actually start writing, but this is my thought process!

Problem 1: In the regency, people (ie peers/gentry) didn't refer to others by their first names. I had to choose between either: ignoring this historical fact and letting my characters use other characters' first names; making their 'known names' into their titles (eg Lord Boromir is the 'Duke of Boromir'); or, assigning them surnames and having characters refer to each other by names unfamiliar to readers.

I decided to go with the last option which is more historically accurate, principally because if I tried the second option, I would still run into trouble with siblings and parent-children relationships (Faramir is the brother of the Duke of Boromir?? No) - therefore, I'll need to accept that it might be hard for readers to follow who is who in this fic, at first. Eg (as explained below) most other characters will call Boromir 'Lord Ithilien', 'the Lord of Ithilien' or 'Coloniel Hurin'. And to be honest, now that I've stared at this for a few hours I'm actually starting to not mind it that much. I also think it feels more 'Jane Austen-y' for characters to have lots of confusing titles :p However, I think I'll at least let my protagonist 'think of people' by their first names in the narrative, which will assist with clarity.

Problem 2: Most of the characters don't have last names.

Problem 1 leads to this. My answer: I made them up. I tried to pick names from their lineage or alternative names that sounded right. For Denethor's line, I picked 'Hurin'; Aragorn's = 'Telcontar'; Elrond's = 'Peredhel'; Theoden's = 'Eorl' and Eomer+Eowyn's = 'Steelsheen'. I also gave Sauron a first name ('Mairon') and picked a random surname for my protag Cin ('Eradan').

Problem 3: It's extremely unlikely a Steward would be ruling in place of a King.

The more likely scenario (as seen in the regency period itself) is that a Prince Regent rules in place of a King because of illness, absence or minority. I decided to go with the latter - so my idea is that Aragorn's parents died when he was not yet of age and so a Prince Regent took over. This would most likely be his closest living relative - so I decided to make Denethor related to him (I've ended up making Denethor Aragorn's first cousin once removed - any closer and Aragorn would share a surname with Boromir and Faramir, which I didn't want).

Problem 4: Leading on from problem 3... I don't want Boromir to be too closely related to my protag Cin (for obvious reasons!)

I was originally going to make her Aragorn's younger sister, but that would make her and Boromir second cousins. That's a bit too close! So I made her Aragorn's first cousin on his mother's side - so Cin and Boromir are both cousins to Aragorn but have no blood connection to each other. Whew!

Problem 5: I wanted to somehow convert the main conflict of Sauron versus the West into the 'Jane Austen' realm - ie the 'battles' occur mostly during conversations.

I decided to include a plot point like this: Denethor has done something to disgrace himself and get kicked out of the role of Prince Regent (this feeds into Boromir's feelings of inadequacy regarding his line). The next closest relative steps into the role - Sauron! Oh no! This will be the main world conflict of the fic and is the prompt for Aragorn, who is now of age, to return and take up his role, and save his people from the ravages of this unqualified leader. I squeezed Sauron into the family tree as Aragorn's first cousin twice removed.

Problem 6: But, I still want some battles, if not 'on screen' then at least referenced.

This is straight from Sharpe, but my idea is that there is a war going on and many peers' sons have commissions in the Army. Boromir is a Colonel (the highest rank you could purchase), Faramir is a Major (because there's no way in hell Denethor would fork out for a higher rank than that), Theodred was also a Major before he died, Eomer and Legolas are both Captains. And they all go off to fight together, mainly so that Boromir can get injured and give us the opportunity for some h/c xD

Problem 7: So, what happened to Aragorn (and Cin) after his parents died, then? How come Sauron is able to step in and take over?

Sticking reasonably closely to the canon storyline, I decided to make it that Elrond (ALSO a distant relation of Aragorn - second cousin once removed, making Arwen Aragorn's third cousin, which is far enough removed to be okay, I think) stepped in to take care of Aragorn. My idea is that his parents were killed in the same 'accident' as Cin's, so Elrond takes both in as wards. He hides them from society in order to protect them both.

Problem 8: If Aragorn is the Prince, Denethor must be a sufficiently senior peer in order to hold the Prince Regent position (for a time, at least) - even though in Jane Austen most characters are not this senior in rank.

I mean, there's Lady Catherine de Bourgh and a few other mentions of Knights and Earls, etc. But I'm okay with adding peerage titles into this fic because it's fun and I think it fits - the various families must be sufficiently senior otherwise it's not realistic that they're all hanging out together. So I've made Denethor a Duke, which is the most senior rank in the peerage without being actually royal (I went with 'Duke of Osgiliath'). Dukes normally have secondary titles which they lend to their son and heir, so for Boromir I picked 'Earl of Ithilien' (as I mentioned above). I made Elrond a Marquess, and his heir Elladan a Baron, and I made Theoden a Viscount. So all those characters get to be referred to by weird titles!

So, this is becoming a crazy long post, but here's the result of my work:

I think this is going to be too small to see in one image, so I've broken it down. Here is the key and a helpful 'cousin chart', because this gets complex:

And here are the segments.

Here is the line of kings, including Aragorn and Cin (my protag) plus Sauron:

Here is Denethor's line, with our main love interest:

Here is Elrond's line - things are getting a bit awkward for anyone who really deeply knows the canon family trees, but I'm saying that Dior was the younger brother of Argonui (who was Aragorn's great grandfather):

And finally, here is Theoden's line, separate from the rest at the start of the fic, but obviously they ultimately join up in two places (Eowyn = Faramir and later Eomer = Lothiriel:

So that's it. Let me know what you think guys, I had fun thinking through all this. Now I just need to actually write it :p

[officialleotolstoy]

Would I Trust These War and Peace Characters To Hold My Drink At A Party

Pierre: No, but not because I think he’d tamper with it. He’d just forget he’s supposed to be watching it and then bad things could happen.

Andrei: Yeah. I think he’d be responsible enough and take the duty seriously, and I’m not scared he’d mess with it.

Mary: YES A MILLION PERCENT. She’d disapprove of me for going to a debaucherous party but she’d come for the express purpose of watching my drink if I need it. Actually now that I think about it Andrei would feel the same way.

Old Prince B: Controversial take but I might, if I thought he liked me. He’s paranoid enough that I think he’d keep it safe, and he also believes in women’s rights to not have to be with someone they don’t want to (ie when he let Mary choose about Anatole). I’m not 100% sure, but he’s got a chance. Only before he turns completely senile, though.

Nikolai: Maybe? I don’t think he’d do anything to it but I also don’t trust his ability to protect it. Ya boi is a little bit lacking in the IQ department. I would in a pinch, but he wouldn’t be my first choice.

Sonya: YES YES YES YES YES there is no one else I would want to do this more actually

Natasha: Yes, because even if she got distracted she’d hand it off to Sonya and I would still be safe

Petya: Yeah, and he’d fistfight anyone who came within 3 feet of it. Thank u king <3

Vera: Yes. She’d be mean to me but she’d be meaner to anyone who came near my drink

Boris: Ehhh. I wouldn’t put it past him to leave it unattended if he thought he had better things to do and then give it back to me and pretend he was watching it the whole time.

Hélène: I feel like she would take care of it, but I’d be a little uneasy what with the company she keeps. She probably wouldn’t do anything but I’d like to keep it as far away as possible from her brother. Jury’s still out.

Ippolit: No, because I think he would drink it himself.

Anatole: Are you kidding me? He’s the reason I need to ask someone to watch it in the first place.

Vassily: No WAY. Physically I’d be safe but I’d wake up the next morning engaged to my cousin with no recollection of how.

Dolokhov: Not unless I was his mom or his sister, in which case I would feel extremely comfortable with that. But if I were literally anyone else, definitely not.

Denisov: yes 💖💖💖💖💖 He’d be the kind of guy to be like “well yeah but why do you need someone to do tha- OHHHHHH right okay” and then he’d be super vigilant about it.