#idk why you’d want to though jfdkhf

[wheezel]

i’m back hello ok

tw for sh talk & stuff along those lines but like. not really about what you’d think i guess. more of a rant than a vent.

anyone else ever get really frustrated when your damage is visible? it doesn’t make your recovery any less valid, it really doesn’t, but. sometimes i can’t help but get down on myself when i’ve been doing really well, because it’s right there. i still can’t roll up my sleeves without being paranoid about it. they’re entirely healed— like there isn’t anything new there or anything, but it’s just. idk. it’s been like 4 years at this point, y’know? it hasn’t been perfect since then or anything, but for there specifically. four years. atp i’ve been clean for a while? like a decent amount of time? but it almost feels like it doesn’t matter bc it’s still so.. there. it’s so obvious. anyone would know if they saw it. no matter how much progress i’ve made, people’d treat me so different if they saw it.

idk it’s just. frustrating, i guess

remind me to talk about something later