#idk why but it just fits and it’s hilarious to me

[caslutz]

Ted: To be a good coach, you have to work through your emotions and learn to accept them. Nate, access and share with us your most painful memory.

Nate: *closes his eyes* I’m… I’m on the playground… stop taunting me! *gasping and starting to cry* I just want to go on the swings!

Beard, nodding somberly: Early childhood is a treasure trove of pain.

Nate: That happened this morning.

[apixrl]

i think about how tfp starscream saw a rabbit and thought it was a human at least once a day honestly

[yakuza-emulation]

Shinichi Kudo- I mean.. Conan Edogawa, Detective.

I’ve been enjoying Detective Conan a lot recently, watching it with my father has been incredibly fun. (Including when we both yell at the screen at the utter idiocy of most of the characters)

We’re not that far in yet, still at the 250’s, but we’re getting there slowly but surely :D

[weaverofink]

I love that period of comics in the 90s where the artists loved to make nightwing's ponytail super long for no reason and it just got me thinking. what if his hair was actually just Like That

The specific panel I was referencing:

[gingerbreadmonsters]

gahhhh. im sure it doesn't sound like it most of the time, but wow my degree is so cool and fun 🥰🥰

[astrxealis]

i love asking me friends for small things wow... got da inquisition Finally bcs #Sale but was wondering who to romance. my friend pointed at my two other choices and said "hah no. government" (??) and then said yes to sera LMFAOOO <333

[augustinewrites]

satoru absolutely does not know how to ride a bike idk how i know this but i know cw: suggestive content, mdni

“that was…good,” satoru settles on, still unable to properly articulate. he whines, still a little lightheaded and breathless as you roll off of him with a laugh, pressing a kiss to his shoulder before tucking yourself into his side.

“just good?” you tease, fingertips gliding over his chest. “if i’d known there was going to be a review, i’d have done that thing with my hips that you like.”

you roll your hips against his thigh, sending a warm chill down satoru’s spine. 

“don’t do that,” he warns, but his face is flushed and he can feel himself getting hard again. “unless you want to leave the kids at your dad’s for another night.”

“oh! speaking of the kids!” your sweet movements stop abruptly, causing him to peek one eye open to send you a long suffering look. “my father bought the kids bikes yesterday, and i told him you’d teach them how to ride them.”

now, it’s no secret that gojo satoru is good at a lot of things. 

he can manipulate the infinity around him and exorcise special grade curses with the flick of his wrist. he knows the words to every avicii song and can make mug cakes that don’t always explode in the microwave. 

there’s only one thing he can’t do. 

“i remember when my dad taught me,” you sigh. there’s a fondness in your eyes as you describe the memory. it’s something special and cherished, and satoru wants that for his kids. 

_____

“this isn’t funny, shoko!” 

“you’re right.”

“thank you—”

“because it’s hilarious. gojo satoru, the strongest sorcerer of our time, never learned how to ride a bicycle.” 

she trails off in a fit of laughter. satoru hasn’t heard her laugh like this in a long time, and he’d be ecstatic if her amusement hadn’t come at his expense. 

“i didn’t have anyone willing to teach me!” he tells her, huffing. “it was all cursed technique this and cursed technique that. not to mention bikes are literal death traps on wheels.”

“motorcycles are death traps on wheels. bicycles are for babies,” she corrects, though he can still hear the laughter bubbling in her response. “why’d you even agree to teach them?”

“because she did this super hot thing with her hips, but focus!” he whispers harshly. “i can’t teach the kids how to ride a bike! what if i just bought a car—”

“only you would try to buy a car for an 11 year old.”

“not for megumi. tsumiki’s basically 13. she can start learning so when she’s old enough—”

“so tsumiki is going to learn how to drive before you learn how to ride a bike? you are so tragic,” she snickers. 

well, it sounds lame when she puts it like that.

he looks up when the sound of the shower running stops. “and you’re useless,” he growls into the phone. “i’ll ask nanami.” 

_____

NOT GOJO 

[shoko]: i heard gojo’s teaching the kids how to ride their bikes

[you]: yeah :) i’m so excited!

[shoko]: me too.

[shoko]: can you send videos?

[nanami]: I would also like to see videos. 

[you]: sure. but why the interest?

[shoko]: bcs i care about them and want to celebrate their achievements

[you]: you didn’t come to megumi’s violin recital because you said you valued your eardrums. 

[nanami]: It will be a fun moment to look back on when they’re older. 

[shoko] yeah that ^

[you]: fine i’ll send videos.

______

the sun is just beginning to set and the city beginning to settle when you take the kids to the park. 

“i really think—”

“satoru, we are not teaching megumi how to teleport to school.”

“but if he uses the shadows—”

you thrust a helmet into his hands, stern look shutting him up immediately. 

“fuck,” he mumbles once your back is turned to help the kids. he shoves the helmet onto his head and buckles it tightly.

the kids walk over to him with their little bikes, the huge helmets on their head making them look like bobble heads. 

you document his torture with a quick photo before giving him the floor. 

“riding a bike is…super simple,” he tells them, patting the seat of your bike. “you get on, put your feet on the pedals, and…pedal.”

the kids only stare at him, confused looks on their cute faces. 

“maybe you should just show them,” you suggest. 

“why don’t you show them?” he quickly deflects. please please please—

“no! i’m taking the video!” 

fuck.

satoru grips the handles of the bike tightly. he’s faced the worst of the worst, died and come back to life. he could ride a stupid bike.

he kicks at the stand your bike is leaning on, getting it up on the fourth kick. he swings his right leg over so he’s straddling the seat, his feet planted firmly on the ground.

it can’t be that hard, can it?

“watch and learn, kids.”

he takes a breath, then pushes off and places his feet on the pedals.

the bike rolls forward slowly. it’s wobbly at best, but he’s doing it. he’s doing it! he picks up a little momentum, heading off into the sunset—

“satoru! don’t lead them downhill!”

sure enough, the path in front of him leads down a slight decline. he squeezes the brakes and jerks to the side, sending him toppling over the bike and into the grass.

as he lays in the grass, dazed, megumi and tsumiki bike right past him. he’s sure the former even rolls his eyes.

“they have training wheels,” he says when you run over to check on him. “they’re cheating—”

“do you not know how to ride a bike?!”

“i never learned,” he grumbles, cheeks blushing at the admission. 

“oh, honey,” you sigh, brushing some grass from his shirt. “why didn’t you just tell me?”

you kiss his brow, unable to hold back your laughter as he pouts. “you were so excited about me teaching them. didn’t want to disappoint anyone.”

“you could never disappoint us,” you tell him firmly. “now come on, i’ll teach all three of you.”

so you teach him, holding onto the back of his bike until he’s steady, until he’s confident enough to do it on his own. 

he’ll get the hang of it eventually.

[amatres]

was very tempted after getting fenris romance successfully activated to pull the then romance anders route bc the banter is hilarious to me

[redr0sewrites]

Adam x Reader General Hcs

HAD TO WRITE SOMETHING FOR HIM HES JUST SO. AUGAHGEHEG. i love him. characterizing him is so fun, but so challenging at the same time.

🥀 Cw: adam being adam, sfw + nsfw hcs, smut, breeding kink

🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion

sfw:

Adam is more prone to casual flings and hookups, hes def not huge on relationships and longterm partners

this means that if your with him, you must be pretty special bc hes a huge ass handful

while he is a pretty big douche, adam is definitely loyal imo

deep down, hes still pretty insecure about both lilith and eve, and im a firm believer that he would never cheat on a partner if he was in a serious relationship

adam comes up with very.... interesting nicknames for you that are 10x more vulgar than the ones he uses for everyone else

hes HUGE on nicknames and petnames in general, at the start of a relationship theyre pretty crude and flirty but over time they start to become sweeter

sugartits, doll, sweet cheeks, bitch boy/babe, babycakes, BAE, lemondrop (idk it just fits), mama/mami, honeytits, honestly anything that comes to mind

adam likes to put "my" in front of most of your petnames, its not so much in a possessive way, moreso in a bragging way, he just loves telling the world that your HIS

he also definitely calls you bro, brah, dude, etc he doesn't care that it "doesnt sound romantic" 💀

adam finds the MOST unhinged things hilarious, hes the type to watch those ten hour long youtube videos of a spinning potato chip and laugh every ten seconds

speaking of, he has one of those loud, booming laughs with a slight wheeze to it

"BAAHAHAHAHAH BAE COME HERE LOOK AT THIS HAHA" and its just a low quality video of a water bottle falling over???

100% a shitty pickup line user

and also a shitty flirter in general

his flirting is just

obnoxious

adam is very proud of you, when the two of you officially got together he probably called half of heaven to announce that you two were dating

"THATS MY PARTNER‼️‼️‼️" type of vibes

adam acts like he isnt big on cuddles bit is secretly the clingiest, most touch starved person alive

PLEASE let him hold you, this man is tall af and loves just swallowing you in an embrace

when he was "courting" you (irritating you constantly and flirting with you obnoxiously until you caught on that he was serious) the biggest tell that his feelings were genuine was the amount of physical contact he initiated

adam was always leaning on you, throwing an arm over your shoulder, resting a hand on your thigh, hooking his arm through yours, overall invading your personal space

he was incredibly happy to FINALLY be able to cuddle with you when you both got together, and HAS to fall asleep touching you in some way every night

adam is almost always wearing his exterminator helmet, but he really likes it when you take it off for him at the end of the day. even he doesn't really understand why, but there's something so intimate to him about the fact that you love his real face more than the persona he puts on

he would rather die than admit it tho

hes not good at words or communication in general, and prefers to express his appreciation through actions

he brings you foods that he knows you like on days where you're especially busy, he gives you song recommendations that he'll think you'll like, he'll buy you a trinket he saw you eyeing at the store, just tiny things like that

adam genuinely does care about you, but as per his usual adam-ness, he would rather go bald than live up to that 💀

nsfw:

you cant tell me this man isnt kinky as shit

hes tried pretty much everything

HE LOVES TO HIT FROM THE BACK, DEF LIKES DOGGY STYLE

i also think he would like the mating press too, getting to watch your face as he wrecks you while also having the opportunity to leave bites all over your thighs, and feel them tremble as he fucks you? sign him up!

his dick is big big

i think hed be a little thicker than average, with a few veins running up the underside, but its his length that's downright heavenly

adam keeps himself pretty well groomed, but has a prominent happy trail and light fuzz at the very base of his cock

listen, this is the first man we're talking about, he KNOWS what hes doing

whether you're male or female, he will go down on you

once he buries himself between your thighs youre done for, adam barely comes up for air as he devours you

hes def sloppy w it too, loves when you cum on his face so he can lick it up

enjoys it when you return the favor as well, i actually think hed really realy like receiving head

would def fuck your face until your drooling

if you hve an oral fixation, you're in luck bc he LOVES watching you suck his dick, his fingers, anything really

adam always makes you lick and suck his fingers before fingering you, and will sometimes trigger your gag reflex by shoving them down your throat to watch you gasp and whine

adam has STAMINA, expect to stay up all night bc this man will stop at nothing to make sure you're both satisfied

i swear this man is built to breed, he has a HUGE breeding kink and goes crazy at the sight of his cum dripping from your hole. even if it's physically impossible for you to get pregnant, adam still babbles about "fucking a prety little babe" into you when he cums

adam likes using plugs to make sure his cum stays inside you, he'll also finger it back inside and loves smearing his cum on your thighs and ass

he also brings his fingers up to your face and has you lick the cum off of them

LOOOVEEEESSS marking you, by the end of the night youre always covered in bruises and scratches and hickeys galore

i love adam guys yes ik hes a douche but hes my douche <3

i wish i characterized him better but whateverrrrrr i dont want to write him as a total asshole but hes def not an angel either (haha im so funny💀)

[wombywoo]

Ok! I've finally decided to put together a (somewhat) comprehensive tutorial on my latest art~

Please enjoy this little step-by-step 💁‍♀️

First things first--references!

Now I'm not saying you have to go overboard, but I always find that this is a crucial starting point in any art piece I intend on making. Especially if you're a detail freak like me and want to make it as realistic as possible 🙃

As such, your web browser should look like this at any given point:

Since this is a historical piece, it means hours upon hours of meaningless research just to see what color the socks are, but...again. that isn't, strictly, necessary 😅

Once I've compiled all my lovely ref pics, I usually dump them into a big-ass collage ⬇️

(I will end up not using half of these, alas :'D)

Another reference search for background material, and getting to showcase our models of choice for this occasion~

When picking a reference for an actor or model, the main thing I keep in mind (besides prettiness 🤭) is lighting and orientation. Because I already kinda know what pose I'm gonna go with for this piece, I can look for specific angles that might fit the criteria. I should mention that I am a reference hound, and my current COD actor ref folder looks like this:

Also keep in mind, if you're using a ref that you need to flip, make sure you adjust accordingly. This especially applies to clothing, as certain things like pants zippers and belt buckles can be quite specific ☝️

Now that we've spent countless hours googling, it's time to start with a rough sketch:

It doesn't have to be pretty, folks, just a basic guideline of where you want the figures to be.

The next step is to define it more, and I know this looks like that 'how to draw an owl' meme, but I promise--getting from the loose sketch above to below is not that difficult.

Things to keep in mind are--don't go too in-depth with the details, because things are still subject to change at this point. In terms of making a suitable anatomically-correct sketch, I would suggest lots of studying. This doesn't even have to be things like figure drawing, I genuinely look at people around me for inspiration all the time. Familiarize yourself with the human form, and things like weight, proportions, posing will seem a little more feasible.

It's also important at this stage to consider your composition. Remember to flip the canvas frequently to make sure you're not leaning to one side too often. I'm sure something can be said for the spiral fibonacci stuff, which I don't really try to do on purpose, but I think keeping things like symmetry and balance in mind is a good start ✌️

Next step is just blocking in the figures. Standard. No fuss 👍

Now onto the background!

It's frankly hilarious how many people thought I was *hand-drawing* these maps and stuff 😂😂 I cannot even begin to comprehend how insanely difficult that would be. So yeah, we're just taking the lazy copy and paste way out 🤙

I almost always prepare my backgrounds first, and this is mostly to get a general color scheme off the bat. For collage work, it's really just a matter of trial and error, sticking this here, slapping this there, etc. I like to futz around with different overlay options until I've found a nice arrangement. Advice for this is just--go nuts 🤷‍♀️

Next, I add a few color adjustments. I tend to make at least 2 colors pop in an art piece, and low and behold, they usually tend to be red and blue ❤️💙There's something about warm/cool vibes, idk man..

Now we move on to coloring the figures. This is just a basic block and fill, not really defining any of the details yet.

Next, we add some cursory values. Sloppy airbrush works fine, it'll look better soon I promise 🙏

And now--rendering!

I know a lot of beginner artists are intimidated by rendering, and I can totally understand why. It's just one of those things you have to commit to 💪

I've decided to show a brief process of rendering our dear Johnny's face here:

Starting off, I usually rely on the trusty airbrush just to get some color values going. Note--I've kept my sketch layer on top, but feel free to turn it on and off as you work, so as to not be too bound to the sketch. For now, it's just a guideline.

This next stage may look like a huge jump, but it's really just adding more to the foundation. I try to think of it like putting on make-up in a way~ Adding contours, accentuating highlights. This is also where I start adding in more saturation, especially around areas such as ears, nose and lips. Still a bit fuzzy at this point, but that's why we keep adding to it 💪

A boy has appeared! See--now I've removed most of the line layer, and it holds up on its own. I'll admit that in order to achieve this realistic style, you'll need lots and lots of practice and skill, which shouldn't be discouraging! Just motivate yourself with the prospect of getting to look at pretty men for countless hours 🙆‍♀️

I'll probably do a more in-depth explanation about rendering at some point, but let's keep this rolling~

Moving forward is just a process of adding to the figures bit by bit. I do lean towards filling in each section from top to bottom, but you can feel free to pop around to certain parts that appeal to you more. I almost always do the faces first though, because if they end up sucking, I feel less guilty about scrapping it 😂 But no--I think he's pretty enough to proceed 😚

They're coming together now 🙆‍♀️ Another helpful tip--make sure you reuse color. By that, I mean--try to incorporate various colors throughout your piece, using the eyedropper tool to keep a consistent palette. I try to put in bits of red and blue where I can

Here they are fully rendered! Notice I've made a few subtle changes from the sketch, like adjusting the belt buckles because I made a mistake 😬 Hence why you shouldn't put too much stock in your initial sketch~

The next step is more of a stylistic choice, but I usually go over everything with an outline, typically in a bright color like green. Occasionally, I can just use my initial line layer, but for this, I've made a brand new, cleaner line 👍

And the final step is adjusting the color and adding some text:

Tada!! It's done!

All in all, this took me the better part of a week, but I have a lot of free time, so yeah ✌️

I hope you appreciated that little walkthrough~ I know people have been asking me how I do my art, but the truth is--I usually have no clue how to explain myself 😅 So have this half-assed tutorial~

As a bonus, here is a cute (cursed) image of Johnny without his mustache:

A baby, a literal infant child !!! who put this wee bairn on the front lines ??! 😭

Anyway! peace out ✌️

[actually-azi]

✨ Rating Hazbin Hotel ships ✨

Adam / Lucifer - 3/10, It's definitely a funny concept that Lucifer fucked both his wives and then him, but in reality it's a no from me.

Adam / Lute - 7/10, Their relationship would've been unhealthy af but not gonna lie it's pretty cute. I just love Lute so goddamn much lol.

Alastor / Lucifer - 7/10, I like the concept because it's genuinely funny and kinda cute but only as a crack ship. I definitely don't see it actually happening.

Alastor / Literally anyone else - 0/10, I genuinely don't think Alastor would ever even consider a relationship. He just thinks he's above everyone else.

Angel / Cherri - 0/10, What the fuck y'all, he's gay. This one is weird af and idk why it's even a thing.

Angel / Husk - 10/10, I love that Husk cares about Angel for more than sex, they're so cute together especially if they take things slowly.

Charlie / Emily - 2/10, They're so similar that together I feel like it would be too much. Also I really dislike the idea of splitting up Chaggie.

Charlie / Emily / Vaggie - 6/10, I probably wouldn't mind all three of them together. It would be cute to call it Charlie's Angels lol.

Charlie / Vaggie - 10/10, I love them together, they're so supportive and adorable. The way Vaggie looks at Charlie with so much love warms my heart.

Cherri / Sir Pentious - 7/10, I don't like Cherri all that much but I'm so happy that Pen got the girl in the end, he deserves to be loved.

Lilith / Lucifer - 5/10, Mostly it's low because I'm suspicious of Lilith. If she ends up not terrible then I could see it being higher but idk, it's sus for now.

Lute / Vaggie - 7/10, I enjoy the idea of them being exes or something like that. Or Lute being jealous of what Vaggie has with Charlie.

Niffty / Valentino - 10/10, Great crack ship. The fanart is hilarious and Nif's love of bad boys makes it a great concept. But I do pretty much only like it as a joke.

One sided Vox / Alastor - 15/10, This is 100% canon in my head. Vox is SO down bad for Alastor and took it SO personally that Alastor couldn't give less of a fuck like the aroace king he is. I love this SO much.

Valentino / Vox - 500/10, This is my Hazbin OTP honestly. These two losers are terrible people but I love them together more than I can even put into words. They just fit so well together and act like an old married couple.

Valentino / Velvette / Vox - 2/10, Velvette sees Vox and Val as her dumb gay dads and I'll die on that hill. They're more like a family and she's the glue that keeps the other two from imploding when they get pissy.

Velvette / Vox - 2/10, Not feeling it. Honestly I think Velvette is aroace and/or a lesbian. I just don't see anything romantic involving her and either of the other Vees.

[base0h]

Yo I got this idea from your pickle fic you did a couple months ago.

Monster trio,law and kidd super gluing a pickle jar and ask their s/o to open it and to their surprise their s/o opens it without any problems

I love your crack fics so much

Please and ty

a/n - I’m so glad you like my humor because sometimes I feel like I’m so unfunny 😂💜 oml kidd would break the jar (also I can’t fit all of the characters so I had to omit Sanji 😭😭)

Warnings ⚠️ - I bully Kidd, crack, g/n reader

- Bro thought that maybe he could troll you back since he couldn’t open the pickle jar a couple days ago (he’s still depressed, so no one talks about it) y’all just pretend it never happened

- zoro: hah! Remember that time when you couldn’t open the-

- everyone: SHUT THE FUCK UP.

- luffy: huh?

- poor zoro 💀 he didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to talk about it since they left him at the previous island

- He was all tightening the pickle jar with the glue, giggling and kicking his feet just imagining you not being able to open it like him, so you’d be embarrassed like him. (He’s evil, beware)

- he skipped over to you and handed you a pickle jar, “Hey y/n, can you open it for me while I go grab something to eat?”

- you nodded, grabbing the pickle jar and opening it with ease. Huh, that’s weird, why would Luffy ask you to open it?

- he had such a big mischievous grin when he came back and then when he saw the pickle jar sitting next to you, the cap right next to it, oml he freaked out

- “HUH? HOW DID YOU OPEN IT-?!”

- “What do you mean? It was super loose.”

- ….

- nah he’s dead now watch him go sob in the corner

- man was sobbing for about an hour or two before Sanji was able to feed him some meat to make him stop crying. Has ptsd with pickle jars now- and you felt bad so you gave him a jar for him to open (you could’ve opened it but you wanted to make him feel tough and strong 💜💜)

- “Luffy, I just can’t open this thing, can you open it?”

- The way his eyes lit up and he just RAN to help you, “MHM! Sure!”

- opened it without a problem and puffed his chest out, crossing his arms, “Shishishi~ I’m strong!!!!”

- “You’re the strongest captain ever! King of the pirates! Roger wishes he was you!!!” -you

- He was giggling, flexing his muscles and all lmfao

- man Luffy is lucky to have you as his personal best cheerleader 💜💜😭

- oh nah, the prank you did on him did not end well 💀 man literally blew up and poor killer had to just sit there in the midst of his explosion (his mental health was harmed in the process of this)

- things chilled out after you managed to give him a hug and some cuddles and coaching him through calming breaths (he does yoga to relax you can’t convince me otherwise)

- Kidd the yogi 💀💀💀

- So he decided that it’d be absolutely hilarious to do the same pickle jar prank on you bec he’s an asshole and a dumbass

- Idk how he did it, but he spent all night formulating and researching which glue was the best until he just decided to weld it shut

- “Kidd what are you doing?” -killer

- “Go to bed killer.”

- stfu Kidd don’t be mean to your best friend 💀

- fast forward to the time of the prank, he handed you the jar with a literal shit eating grin on his face, bro could not stop giggling (sounds like a fucking clown. And I don’t mean in a good way.)

- “Why are you giggling..?” -you

- “No reason >:)”

- You opened it, continuing to watch your show on the tv, handing it back to him. There was a moment of silence that lasted about 5 minutes. He was not moving, blinking, nor breathing for that matter. Killer walked by the room, and took a picture before walking away 💀

- man just started yelling outta nowhere, scaring the literal shit out of you

- “WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!” -Kidd

- “WHAT THE FUCK KIDD?!” -you

- “HOW DID YOU FUCKING OPEN IT?”

- “IT WAS FUCKING LOOSE.”

- “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WELDED THE FUCKIN THING SHUT!”

- “…..”

- “Why the fuck did you weld it shut you dumbass?” -you

- he beat you up (correction) you beat him up for even trying to beat you up

- he didn’t seem that affected by your prank earlier but trust me, he’s crying on the inside, praying to corazon and asking: why tf am I so fucking weak

- after you told him it was just a joke he was pretty mad and ignored you for about a day (before he just couldn’t ignore the love of his life anymore😂)

- but yeah lesson learned, don’t do it again

- well he thought it’d be funny to do it to you since it made him so irritated (he will not admit that and will tell you that Bepo made him do it or something like that)

- the hardest part for him was asking you for help because anytime he does you get all smirky and say: “ooooo you need my help??? 😏”

- “never mind I don’t.”

- “NO- IM SORRY ILL HELP!”

- so yeah he was a bit nervous about asking you- but he had to do it lmao

- “Y/n-ya, can you open this for me?”

- “Sure.”

- you literally opened it in seconds, you didn’t even struggle.

what the fuck?

- “Y/n. How did you open that?..”

- “It was loose, did you loosen it?”

- “…….I’m gonna go to bed now.”

- “it’s 2pm!”

- “I’m. Going. To. Bed.”

- went straight to his computer to look up

- “Is my s/o a demon?”

- “what is the strength level for opening glued shut pickle jar”

- “911 marine hq”

- “counseling hotline”

- “can glue expire?”

- “am I weak?”

- Zoro was still pretty mad that he couldn’t open the jar last time, so he’s added, “opening pickle jars for y/n, 20 reps, 2 sets, give pickles to Luffy.”

- his workout page looks like a Barbie notebook you cannot tell me otherwise

- everything is pink and neon green 💀

- anyway, mayyyyybe Luffy convinced him to do the same prank on you because Luffy kept laughing at him about it, poor moss head’s self esteem was a bit low now 😭

- So he grabbed a jar, glued the damn thing shut and went over to you (took a while because he could not find you)

- “hey y/n. Can you open this for me? I’m gonna go train.”

- “Sure.”

- he hid behind the corner, watching as you took the jar and paused, continuing to read your book before opening it with ease, putting it back on the table next to you

- man was flabbergasted.

- how the actual fuck did you do that?????

- “Zoro??? What do you want me to do with the jar?!” -you

- His plan to hide out behind the corner was ruined the moment Luffy came over and fucking said hello to him

- “Oh hey zoro!! Whatcha doin?”

- “SHUT UP!”

- “huh?”

- You turned around to see Zoro trying to shut up poor Luffy who literally wanted to just say hi 😭

- “Zoro what are you doing?? I opened the jar, is it for Sanji’s meal?”

- “….Yeah just- give it to him.”

- he looked sad, it was painful for your heart

- imagine getting stabbed, then reading something sad, listening to sad music, and then realizing. You’re sad.

- that is what this felt like

- you tried your best to comfort him (even though you didn’t know why he was sad) so you watched him train and you sat on his back while he did pushups. Seemed to make the poor guy feel better, but you still didn’t know why he was so sad in the first place :’)

a/n - poor zoro

[dolene]

MUSE TO MY MELODIES!

pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader

summary: from all the great melodies, there is the artist and her muse who's doing the work.

content warnings: her face claim is laufey, supportive bf charles, she has a sister, cursing (but just for a bit)

yourusername

liked by radvxz, phoebebridgers, and 217,190 others

yourusername guess where am i (slide 3)

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landonorris the king of atlantis's museum

⤷ yourusername good answer but no

     ⤷ landonorris oh cmon😔

phoebebridgers that fit chic is so brocolli core

     ⤷ priscillawesley More like an e-coli core

     ⤷ yourusername WATCHA MOUTH -nicki minaj

logansargeant Florida, wasn't it?

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     ⤷ username Y/N IS IN FLORIDA & POSSIBLY W LOGAN 🦅🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🦅🦅🦅

radvxz I love the slide one and two... But then there's three existing 😔

     ⤷ yourusername that is literally the point

username She just randomly there and Pris is taking the pics

     ⤷ yourusername she's a lifesaver 😇

     ⤷ priscillawesley Surely I am. Imagine her posts without me😎

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari, and 469,661 others

charles_leclerc Strolling around Rome

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carlossainz55 suddenly i'm into bossa nova

username YES HER CONCERT IN ITALY BEGIN

username y/n typical red shoes fit is always hits no matter what

username Charles, you sure it aint Pris who took this

     ⤷ priscillawesley He should be grateful I have a class today

username mm i smell new album announcement

     ⤷ priscillawesley Keep being delulu, honey

     ⤷ username 😭😭😭

username ALBUM ANNOUNCEMENT WHEN???

username it's been so long i memorized typical of me in one go

username PLS PLS COME TO BRASIL

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     ⤷ username WHTS WRONG W YALL AND HER NEW ALBUM??????😭😭😭😭

username charles and y/n collab when?

     ⤷ username he should be featured in her new song

     ⤷ username Pris as a violinist and Charles as a Pianist, what a combo!

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, sebastianvettel, and 680,536 others

yourusername i've never done anything so fast like this before

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username Y/N WHAT😭

lewishamilton direct offense to you charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc Oh this is just so low

username i know how his cooking gonna end up, so i'll be her if i were there

username That emoji gonna say that "i'll make u my pasta disaster, honey"

username idk why is she even post this but this is definitely hilarious 😂

priscillawesley But I can't lie, that looks really delicious

     ⤷ yourusername the art of rush cooking is just so😌👌

username EVEN SEB LIKING THIS BC HE KNOWS

     ⤷ yourusername even i was surprised😭 i didn't expect this at all

     ⤷ charles_leclerc Same

yourusername

liked by reneerapp, honeymoon, and 592,551 others

yourusername look at my facebook mom boyfriend 😚😚

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charles_leclerc Is this a flattery or a mock?

     ⤷ lilymhe Flattery definitely

reneerapp why did u take this?

lilyzneimer 😂😂

username facebook mom charles is confirmed a long long time before this event even happened

     ⤷ yourusername this was truly a canon event

username but whys he looking so good tho

username What is he taking picture of?

     ⤷ username HES SHOWING THEM HER NEW ALBUM

     ⤷ username them in meaning is no one

     ⤷ username his camera roll is filled with him and the empty space

scuderiaferrari At least he's fashionable 😉

     ⤷ username is fashionable at the room with us?

yourusername added a photo to their story!

caption: hehe 😉

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

liked by xtina, charles_leclerc, florencepugh and 759,100 others

yourusername charles said it's a ✨picture-dump✨

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landonorris i can't unsee what i see

maxverstappen1 Enjoying your meal by yourself, Handsome?

     ⤷ yourusername wrong person, sorry

priscillawesley Charles, what are u talking about? It's obviously a memory-burn 🙄

     ⤷ yourusername no, and we've talk about this before

username what is that strawberry with a head on

     ⤷ username y/n for x men is real

username okay now say whoever stick that head into the poor strawberry

radvxz Oh no...

taylorswift I'm living for the aesthetics.

     ⤷ username TAYLOR WHAT'S THE AESTHETICS IN THIS??

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, normani, sza, and 1,529,807 others

yourusername after a long while of waiting and teasing, the cat has finally out of the bag! and i present this to all of you.

Bewitched out February 13th! 🤎🤍

show all 45,239 comments

radvxz 😭😭😭

username WE'RE NOT CLOWNING ANYMORE

sza CAN'T WAIIITTT

username WE ALR GOT THE VINYL???? best moment of my life

charles_leclerc 😚🥰

     ⤷ username i'm forever gonna live for supportive bf charles

arianagrande soo excited!!

username finally the album we're deluluing is real

lola.tung AHHHH amaaaazingg

maisiehpeters big year for witch girls 😭♥️

amandarachlee omg u look amazing

username Okay now where can i listen this on orchestra?

jeremyzucker GO Y/N!!!!

landonorris was listening to your song until you distract me with this🙄😌

username she said worry no more, i got u covered *wink*

[lcriedlastnight]

can i request a little fic where you (reader) is doing a haunted house with oscar and some of the others and out of fear, you’re clinging to his beautiful gorgeous delicious muscular arms the whole time. he probably finds it hilarious and teases you about it after

his arms makes me tweak out, anon. i'll never be serious about it.

tw: fem!reader, haunted house (i've never been to one so idk how it works), lmk if you want me to add anything.

w/c: 934

it was all lando's idea. "let's do a haunted house! it'll be great fun!" he said. he only suggested it because he knew how much of a scaredy cat you were, you could not even sit through a horror film without jumping out of your skin a million times. yeah, lando knew all of this yet he suggested it. you knew it had something to do with your little crush on the other mclaren driver.

a group of you were standing outside the haunted house that was placed in the middle of this pumpkin patch. it actually looked very cute and the girl in you adored all the autumnal decor placed around the area opposite the house. everyone was eager to get inside and get spooked but you were praying that the house just burned down or collapsed so you would not have to chicken out of this. you can see lando smirking at you from the corner of your eye and it pisses you off.

"y'alright?" came an australian accent, ringing through your ears. would it be weird to say you felt calmer already? because you did. you spin around to face the boy that everyone was waiting on.

for a autumn night in the middle of october it was surprising mild out and it was seemingly hot enough for oscar to forgo a jacket of any sorts. just a tight fitting, black t-shirt that had his biceps on display. it was like he knew how feral one glance at them made you because he placed them directly in your eye line as he crossed them over his broad chest. god you could just take a bite of him right now. the sight of the boy distracted you from why you were even nervous in the first place.

"yeah! how are you? why were you late?" you question with the usual concern you had when it came to oscar. anyone with a pair of eyes and a set of ears could tell how down bad you were for the australian. except maybe, oscar himself. that was fine with you, you did not want him to know about it. oscar hums and shrugs his shoulders.

"traffic." he smiles at you so you know he is lying but you could care less when he smiles at you like that.

"what? you scared or something?" lando would call this projecting if he was listening in, which let's be honest, he was probably listening in from somewhere. the brit somehow finding out about every conversation you have ever had with your crush. oscar just laughs at you but before he can actually respond to you lando is calling everyone over so you can all go inside together. everyone knows they will slip off into their own groups eventually but they entertain him anyway just to keep him happy.

"how would you feel about going 'round with me?" oscar asks, voice kind and gentle just like it always is with you. you are so thankful he asks that first so you do not have to beg him to go around the house together. it would make it seem like you were scared or something! you just nod at him with a smile. you both hang back and end up being the last ones in your group to head in, much to lando chagrin, wanting to keep everyone together.

you do not even get past the first scare before you are wrapping your arms around the big, muscular one that belongs to the boy beside you. it was resting at his side before you pulled it to your chest with a scream as a girl dressed as a zombie peaks out from a corner and slowly limps over to you both. you shuffle both you and oscar along quickly. the boy has to try hard to keep his laughter hidden because he know you will think that he was making fun of you, even though he found it so fucking cute.

your grip was deathly around his arm as he just let you cling to him like a child who was scared to get lost in the shops.

you stay like that until you are both in the clear and finally out the back end of the house. you can see the rolling field of pumpkins as you try to regulate your breathing and pretend like you were not even scared at all. oscar finally lets a laugh out as he peers down at you, his eyes are kind so you know he is not being mean when he is laughing at you.

"were you a little scared?" he teases, an eyebrow cocking up in questioning as you turn red and try to clear your throat to rid yourself of the embarrassment coursing through your body.

"me?" you scoff like it was something unimaginable. "nah, i think you might have been seeing things piastri."

oscar cannot help himself and it does not even seem like he tries to hold himself back this time as he openly giggles at you. it makes you smile.

"tell that to the nail marks on my arm, honey." even though his tone is teasing his words are kind and make you heat up again. you hope oscar just chalks it up to being caught out and not the pet name he just called you for the first time. you are speechless but oscar just laughs as he guides you back to rest of the group. promises of not telling a soul falling from his lips in hushed words that gets you hot all over again.

[velnoni]

Idk if ur doing it rn or anything, but as a southern person, I beg of you to pretty please write the fic where the southern reader charms stan! That sounds so cute (no pressure tho, I just really like the idea)

The way I was looking up southern dialects and looking at Fiddleford fics for reference was hilarious. I never wrote a strong dialect before, so I hope I did okay!

Southern Reader x Stan

It's been a minute since the three out you spent some quality time amongst each other that didn't involve something straight out of a nightmare. You swear the Pines family always had a tendency to attract something bizarre, and that's only mildly putting it. But with Soos managing the Shack and Ford, trying his hand at being social much his distaste, the three of you decided to hang out at a small gathering at edge of Gravity Falls, a small get together for the grown folks if you will.

You opted for something light and classy, with some gold jewelery adorning your neck. As you checked your fit to make sure everything was intact, you heard the stairs squeaking as someone came down. You peer over to see Stan fidgeting about with his tie, lips turnt down as his fingers got caught up in the fabric. He was wearing an emerald green button-down shirt with black slacks and a gold buckle belt. His hair was slicked back with a few strands hanging out. He cussed under his breath, muttering about how useless ties are.

But he looked good. Real good.

"Stanley, why ya fightin' yer tie like a snake and eagle caught up inna brawl?" Stan face visibly scrunched up at you speaking to him, grumbling at your metaphor. You laugh at him and take a few strides before shooing his hands away and patting down the fabric. Stan starts to protest a tad, but you hush him. "We'll be 'ere till the sun n' moon touch an' kiss each other g'night if I don't do it for ya. Now hold still." As you're focused on fixing Stan's tie and looping it around properly, you don't notice how his cheeks flush or how he clenches his fist as he takes in your concentrated look. How his eyes linger just a second too long on your face and your neck where the gold necklace resided. He was annoyed at how he was acting like never touched anyone before.

With a final loop and tug, the navy tie falls neatly onto Stan's broad chest. You pat him lightly, your fingers lingering as you eye him up and down teasingly.

"I must say, Stan-boy ya lookin' mighty fine 'ere all gussied up outta dat mystery suit ya love to wear." You watch Stan choke on his own saliva and look away from you. "Damn brat..." he hissed lightly. You pay him no mind, understanding he's flustered & not used to genuine compliments, and pat his shoulder. "Just complimentin' is all. Can't expect ta' mosey all round the falls prettier than a glob of butter meltin' ona stack of pancakes an' spect me ta be all hush hush bout it!" You cackle and turn your attention up to Ford as he comes down the stairs, waving hello and hugging him, calling him prettier than a peach.

Ford as well, with tinted cheeks thanks you before turning to his brother. "Stanley, are you ready to go— Why is your face so red?" You feigning innocent, tack onto Ford's question.

"I concur. Stanford, reckon figurin n tellin' me why yer twin been actin' like a bump on a log? Face more redder than a rooster's wattle," you smirked as Stan glared at you. "It's nothing. Now, let's get this show on the road already!" How adorable.

*please like and reblog, I'd appreciate it!

[heavenlyvision]

hi lovely !! idk if your requests are open or not (if not feel free to just ignore this🤍)

okay so !! bi-han x fem!reader (or gn!)

maybe bi-han and the reader do not like each other (LIKE at all) and are always bickering/making snarky remarks at each other but maybe the reader sees bi-han hurt and turns soft on him, cleaning his wounds ect while also still making sarcastic and snarky remarks at each other? (maybe smut but if not that’s okay as well 🫶🏻)

My requests are open! And I am very happy to receive requests or any messages in general! I love your idea, I just hope I did it justice <33

Bickering

Wc: 3.7k

Pairing: Bi-Han x F!Reader

Warnings: 18+ only, smut, grinding, dirty talk, mentions of injury, I think that’s it!

The man makes you mad, Bi-Han that is, you can never seem to get along with him long enough. You try and create openings to better your relationship with him, but they always seem to fall flat, and you both end up at each other’s throats. Living at the temple and helping Liu Kang as an advisor of sorts, unfortunately, means you are regularly exposed to Bi-Han and his less than stellar moods. The man is unbearable, and you’ve tried so hard to tolerate him for Liu Kang, but he could put in some effort to respect you. Dear God, the man has the manners of a, well… there is no comparison, he is mannerless and rude.

Some people might disagree with you, but that just means they haven’t actually spoken to him before. Even his own brother Kuai Liang gives you sympathetic looks when Bi-Han starts having a go at you for things, that frankly, you were not even involved in. Today is no different, Liu Kang, Kuai Liang, Tomas, Bi-Han, and yourself are currently in the war room. Considering your next moves regarding a small group of ‘rebels’, they’re just some people throwing a fit and attacking the Lin Kuei. The whole thing is more annoying than it is daunting, Liu Kang has offered support, which means that you have offered support.

Bi-Han rolls his eyes dramatically, “Terrible, your plan is… terrible.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose in response, you’re getting tired of this. This is like the sixth plan he’s shot down; it is the first plan he has called terrible though. Probably because it was your plan.

“Maybe you should think up your own plan then, instead of shooting down all of ours.” You’re sharp with him, usually you wouldn’t snap back so quickly but today you’re tired, hungry, and sick to death of his entitlement.

“I thought you were here to be helpful; I would not have asked if I had known how bad your plan would be.” He doesn’t even look your way as he insults you.

You can’t help the massive eye roll he invokes from deep within you.

He grunts in your direction, “don’t roll your eyes at me, think of something useful and I will be pleased.” Then, because he can’t help himself, he adds, “Surprised, but pleased.”

A large groan is pulled out of you in response, “ahhhhhh! oh my god, stop being such a dick and make a plan, and then leave, preferably for ever.”

“I think, you would miss me.” where he got that idea, you have no idea, probably the same place he got that massive ego he drags around with him.

You make a gagging noise, “I am sorry, but you’re fully deluded by your own ego.”

He side eyes you with a knowing glance, what he thinks he knows, you aren’t sure, like you said, the man is deluded.

“Mhm, why don’t you become useful and think of a worthwhile idea, that or go make some tea.” He’s amused, you can tell in his tone, he finds himself hilarious.

“Why don’t you turn in for the day? I think you might be sundowning in your old age.”

“I am not that much older than you!” He’s turned to you fully, getting closer to you. You touched a sore spot, you guess.

“If we’re lying to each other, then sure.” You shrug your shoulders at him.

You’re both engaged in an intense stare down, both pissy with each other, it always ends this way. Both so annoyed with each other you end up glaring and hoping for the other to walk away. Usually, because you’re the bigger person, you will walk away but not this time, you’re standing your ground.

Your idea was good, and he knows it, he’s just pissed he didn’t think of it first. The group is small and they’re camping not far from the Lin Kuei’s base, the only trouble is getting to them before they can realise and either, kill themselves, taking anything they know about their orders and plans with them, or kill the suspected hostages they have. The situation is an upsetting one to be sure but it’s not a particularly difficult mission.

They’re only being so cautious because this group is being especially bold, but they’re stupid. They were spotted days ago, the only thing they have going for them is their audacity. The answer, to you, anyways is obvious, but you’re also not particularly emotionally invested. In fact, right now you’re bored and still hungry.

Liu Kang breaks the stare down up, ever the mediator, “Okay, I think that’s enough from both of you.”

A hand on your shoulder has you turning your head to the side and seeing Kuai Liang standing beside you, “I’m sorry about him.” He nods his head to Bi-Han.

“Do not apologise on behalf of me, I am not sorry,” He huffs out at his brother.

Ignoring Bi-Han you reply directly to Kuai Liang, “I am used to it.” You pat his hand on your shoulder in assurance.

You turn towards Liu Kang, “I trust I am not needed here any further?”

“No, you may go, thank you for your input.” He replies, his eyes also sympathetic.

Walking away you give a thumbs up to the group and when you lock eyes with Bi-Han you stick your tongue out at him, scrunching your face up in his direction, he raises an eyebrow at you in response.

As you continue towards the door you pass Tomas on your way out and he looks at you like you’re a kicked puppy. You give him a pat on the chest and smile on the way out. Bi-Han’s brothers are two of your favourite people so your disdain for Bi-Han himself is kind of hilarious to you, in a ‘the universe is one big joke’ kind of way.

❆˖°

You enjoy your time with Liu Kang, but you aren’t really an advisor; you think it’s more of a glorified assistant kind of a role, but you love it all the same. And though he doesn’t look like it, Liu Kang loves to gossip, to a certain extent anyways. He is adamant that it is not gossip and is just him keeping you informed on topical events occurring within the temple and amongst the people that could be relevant to you, but that is literally what you call gossip.

But his penchant for keeping you informed is how you know Bi-Han didn’t use your plan but spent almost all-day agonising over what he should do next, he was indecisive but had decided he wasn’t using your idea. You get satisfaction from knowing it took him longer to think of a plan solely because he refused to use yours.

“Try not to look so happy about it when they get back, I am sure he does not need you being glib after a mission that could result in casualties.” Liu Kang tells you; he’s basically telling you to have some decorum.

“If it were anyone else, I would not be feeling this deep sense of glibness.” You add, “Plus I am not that big an asshole, I genuinely hope all goes well, I won’t even say anything when he gets back.”

You sincerely don’t plan on saying anything to him about his plan, you want it to all go well. But just knowing that he bent over backwards thinking of a ‘better’ plan made by himself is really vindicating for you, internally.

“It would be better if you both could get along, he will be here more frequently, after I gather my champions of Earth Realm.” He reminds you, it’s not the first time he has brought this up.

“I am aware, and I have really tried but he’s sooo grumpy and mean. You know how much of a delight I usually am! It is literally just him.” You’re whining at him a bit.

There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips, he finds you amusing, “Maybe you two clash because of a different… underlying reason.”

“I don’t like what you’re implying.” You don’t really know what he is implying but you don’t like it, “we clash because he sucks and is rude.”

He chuckles a bit at your sulking, “Well, if things go well, they will be back this afternoon or evening.”

It’s been a few days since the meeting in the war room and the boys have been gone for two of them. The timeline checks out, assuming all goes well on their end.

You nod your head in reply to Liu Kang, “sooo, lunch?”

“Fine, but I am not making it this time,” is his reply.

“Ughhhhh, fine.” You wanted him to make it, “only if you make the tea.”

“Alright.” He’s shaking his head at you, but you take the small victory.

❆˖°

The evening air is nice, a cool breeze freely flowing as you walk through the temple. You couldn’t sleep, the guys didn’t come back in the afternoon or early evening like you originally suspected they would. And you’ll admit it, you are a little concerned, for all of them, unfortunately. You are aware of how skilled they are but you can’t help but stress a little bit, you’d feel uneasy if Liu Kang was gone and you know he is more than capable.

You pace past the front steps of the temple for what feels like the fiftieth time in the last hour, and then finally, you see them walk up the steps. You feel a sigh of relief come from you at seeing them.

“oh, thank god,” you whisper out.

All three of them walk up to you, both Tomas and Kuai Liang put their hands on either of your shoulders, giving you a small smile. You sag with your relief at seeing them, it feels a little dramatic, but they usually are on time, compulsively so.

“I’m glad you’re all alright.” You tell them.

Bi-Han grunts at you off to the side but you ignore him, “It all went well, but we’re probably going to turn in for the evening.” Tomas informs you.

Nodding your head at the pair of them, “All good, I just wanted to see you guys get back safely.”

Bi-Han has already walked away from the three of you, but he’s oddly not walking towards his quarters.

You’re brought back to the two men in front of you when Kuai Liang says, “The mission was successful, but it wasn’t… smooth, Bi-Han’s in a bad mood over it.”

“Maybe you could talk to him, cheer him up?” Tomas adds.

You make a face at that, “I don’t really think I would be the best person for that.”

Tomas smiles a little, “I don’t know, I think he likes you; I mean he actually talks to you.”

“Yeah, but he’s an ass when he does talk to me.” Is all you can reply with.

They both share a knowing look between the two of them, a secret brother communication happening right in front of you, rude.

Kuai Liang breaks the moment of silence, “We are going to turn in for the night but thank you for worrying, good night.”

“Alright, I’m just glad you came back safely, get some rest.” You smile politely at them, and they both walk off towards their chambers. The interaction was quick but you’re just grateful to see they’re okay.

You consider for a bit if you should follow after Bi-han, an internal argument occurring. Your relationship with him at best is strained, so you aren’t sure it should be you going to talk to him and offering comfort. Well, you suppose if you cannot offer comfort, you can at least give him something to focus his anger at.

Letting out a large sigh, you turn around and follow after where Bi-Han went, as you walk through the temple you realise, he went in the direction of the medical room. There are no doctors here or anything, but they have basic medical kits kept in that room.

The pace of your steps increase to get to the room quicker, if he got injured why wouldn’t he say anything, god he is such a stubborn, loud mouthed, egotistical –

Your internal ranting is cut short as you get to the room and see him sitting in one of the chairs shirtless. Using his mouth to hold a bit of suture, trying to thread the needle with one hand, while simultaneously trying to keep pressure on the wound in his side with his other.

“What do you want?” Venom in his voice that would hit harder if he wasn’t mumbling around a piece of string.

You sigh at him, “Let me help.” Tentatively, you move closer to him.

He grunts at you, “don’t need your help.”

“You’re being stupid, just lemme help stitch you up,” placing your hands in front of him, you’re waiting for him to give you the needle and suture.

He stares at you for a moment, sizing you up before yielding and placing them in your hands. You look around for an extra chair, pulling it in front of him. As you sit down you shuffle the chair close to him, your legs between his spread ones.

It occurs to you now; just how large he is compared to you. Pushing the thought to the side, you put the needle and suture on the small table beside you, and instead begin looking through the first aid kit for something to clean the site with. You find a bit of gauze and rubbing alcohol, it’ll do, you think.

You nod your head in the direction of his wound, signalling him to remove his hand. He does so and you warn him before you begin cleaning it, “this is gonna hurt, quite a bit.”

“Mhmm,” he has a scowl on his face.

“Was just trying to give you a warning.”

“I’ve been stabbed before, I know what to expect,” he’s being short with you.

You’re too tired for his attitude, and as much as he annoys you, you don’t like seeing him physically hurt.

He sucks in a sharp breath at the feeling of the gauze on his skin, but other than that, silence falls over the room as you begin cleaning the area, you’re trying to be as gentle as possible while also attempting to adequately clean it. The whole thing is a lot more intimate than what you’re used to.

Grabbing fresh gauze you place it over the stab wound, “hold this for a second.”

His large hand places itself over top of yours and it makes you feel warm, you pull your hand out gently and move back to the needle and bit of suture.

Your hands shake as you try to thread the string, Bi-Han’s eyes are watching you closely, “this is possibly the most abysmal attempt at threading a needle I have ever witnessed.”

You roll your eyes at him, “shut up, I’m trying to help you here, don’t bite the hand that feeds you and all…” You trail off, placing your hands down for a second before taking a deep breath.

“Mhm,” is all he says.

You shoot back quickly, “You were not doing any better than me,” attempting to thread it again is successful.

You shoot him a spiteful smirk in response to your success and he rolls his eyes in response. With how often he rolls them, you’re surprised his eyes aren’t at the back of his head.

Leaning forward again you ask him to remove his hand, and you begin carefully suturing at the wound. It isn’t serious, and it doesn’t take too many stitches to close up.

It’s all over fairly fast, and it’s helpful that Bi-Han has what seems to be an amazing pain tolerance as he sits stoically for you throughout the whole thing.

Grabbing another piece of gauze and some medical tape, you cover the stitches and look up at him. Both of your faces close to each other as he looks down to you at the same time, you take in a sharp breath, before leaning back and looking away from his eyes.

“All done, it wasn’t that bad but next time, you should just ask someone for help.” You tell him.

“Would’ve been fine.”

You turn back to look at him, gaze scrutinising, “in these situations, usually the person who received help would thank the provider of help.”

“I didn’t ask for your help,” he shrugs you off.

“Arghhhh, how am I meant to put up with you for, god knows how long, when you can’t even manage a single thank you after getting my help.” You stand up to walk away from him, exasperated with his audacity.

His hand reaches out and grabs your forearm, “thank you, I guess, I mean I would have done better.”

From this position you’re looking down on him, “you’re unbelievable.”

“What? I said thank you!” He looks annoyed but he doesn’t get to be annoyed because you’re annoyed.

“What do you mean ‘what’? you immediately undid the ‘thank you’ by telling me I did a bad job!”

“I did not say you did a bad job.” He states simply.

“I am going insane; you are driving me insane.” You’re shaking your head at him.

The hand on your forearm drags you down, face closer to his now, “you’re the one driving me insane.”

“How??? I have repeatedly tried to reach an olive branch out to you, and I just stitched you up! I can’t believe I worried about your well-being.”

“You worried about me?” He asks.

“I did,” you confirm.

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I just did. It’s not like I hate you, I don’t want you to die. I care if you live.”

You’re so annoyed at him, is it such a foreign concept to him? A person wanting him to be okay, uninjured.

His eyes are intense as he looks at you, faces so close now you can feel his breath against yours. You aren’t sure why you do it, it doesn’t even feel like it’s you who does it, but you move forward that extra inch and place you mouth on his. Kissing him.

He doesn’t react straight away, and you pull away, “I– I don’t know why I did that, I’m sorry.” You feel embarrassed.

You go to move away but you don’t get far, both of his hands come up and grab your face, pulling you into a passionate kiss. His lips take your breath away, his thumb pushes into the hinge of your jaw, pulling your mouth open. His tongue is invading your senses, making you dizzy.

He doesn’t pull back from you, instead he starts grabbing at you, pulling you into his lap. You’re sat on top of him now, thighs spread over his. The shiver that rolls over your body can’t be helped when your heat makes contact with his crotch.

As he continues kissing your breath away, with you sitting in his lap, you feel him moan into your mouth. You realise, you’ve absentmindedly started grinding down onto him. He pulls back from you, head dropping to your chest.

His hands grab at your hips, and he slowly starts to drag your clothed cunt against his covered length. A small gasp of pleasure leaves you as he presses you down harsher against himself.

“Mmm, you’re a needy fuckin mess,” he hums into your neck.

His words effect you in a way you aren’t proud of, “shuddup.” Is all you manage at him, nowhere near malicious enough for him to actually shut up.

“You gonna cum in your panties hmmm?” he asks you, teasing you cruelly. “Gonna cum in the lap of the man who drives you insane?”

You shake your head at him, telling him no. He chuckles at your disagreement, full of himself.

Both of your hands reach out and grab onto his shoulders for leverage, his hands on your hips still encouraging you to grind down onto his cock. Small suppressed moans and whimpers leaving your lips.

He bites your neck, and it has a gush of slick leaving your cunt, a gasp pulling from you.

“Bet you’re so fucken wet right now, leaving a wet patch on my pants. Messy little thing.” His dirty talk is making your face hot.

“Bi-Han, I – ngh – need you–”

He cuts you off, “–I know you do,” you groan at him, he knows that isn’t what you were going to say. You were going to tell him to shut up again.

One of his hands leaves your hips and reaches behind you, threading into your hair, pulling you back by it. He takes the opportunity to bite and suck marks into your neck, it has you squirming down onto him.

“mmm I can feel your cunt fluttering on me through your panties,” he noses at your neck, taking in the smell of your skin.

His words are so filthy, you’re going to spontaneously combust from embarrassment. You hate how much he’s getting you off.

The hand on your head trails back down your body, reaching its previous placement on your hip. Then both his hands reach around to your ass, he pulls your cheeks apart and it has your pussy spreading on him more.

The feeling overwhelming, you keep rutting down into him, so close to finishing.  You look down to his lap, you’ve left a large wet patch on his pants. His hard cock straining harshly against the material of his pants.

Your hole briefly catches on the head of his cock, so close to penetration and so far. He keels over at the feeling, a moan coming from him in response. The moan he let out spurring you on.

“Bet you’re so fucken close, aren’t yah? Go on, cum in your panties.” He lifts his hips slightly to grind up into you.

His words and actions have you cumming, moans coming from your mouth, you bite your lip to keep them quiet. You’re shaking in his lap from your orgasm, it’s the best one you’ve ever had, and he didn’t even fuck you. After shocks thrumming through you as you come down, your panties feel so wet.

He pulls your face back and plants a wet kiss on your mouth, “such a good girl, there’s your fucken thank you.”

❆˖°

A/N: Is it hot in here or is it just me? I would’ve liked to have made the smut longer, but I am running on little to no sleep lol. Either way I hope you enjoy the story and thank you again to anon for your request <33