#idk where I'm going with this sorry lol

[thelaurenshippen]

ummmmmm I caught up on last night's 911 and.....hello!?!?!?!?!?!? I AM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

when I want to write something self indulgent to give me all the angsty and cuddly hurt/comfort feels but I can't because I end up feeling guilty because I'm seeking after feels that I feel in an inappropriate place because my mom told me one time when I was 15 that I shouldn't search that out or it's probably sexual sin but it confuses me because ALL the feels happen that way for me even if it's entirely platonic and nonsexual and so I don't know if it's okay to want to write to that because apparently all pleasure of any sort, even over platonic stories, is sexual or comes with a possibly probably sexual feeling and I also am having a hard time figuring out what's genuine conviction from God and what's just my anxiety/OCD/perfectionism/fear of failure

[winter-spark]

Do you guys ever think about the amount of pressure and how draining it must be to have been Orange growing up?

No no like seriously think about it, think about it.

When everyone found out that Citron would be next in line for the throne, Orange was dragged into the spotlight with him. It had to have been from the jump that people who didn't want Citron, the son of a commoner, as King latched onto Orange.

"Orange would be a better fit." "Orange should be king." "Why the son of a commoner when the next son isn't one?"

Like Orange probably heard stuff like that all throughout his life, that's a lot. To immediately be put in a box as a better fit for ruler, and you know it was a lot of pressure because he then dedicated his life to proving that point. He had to be better than his hard-working, calculative, already training/set-to-be-the-King older brother, when from the get-go people preferred him.

Sure Citron worked to win over the public's opinion but don't you think that hurt more? So many thought you'd be a better fit and now they're saying your brother is a good fit, that they're happy and satisfied with that? What? Was your hard work not good enough? Were you somehow worse than him? Did you dissatisfy the people?

Orange grew up feeling in constant comparison to Citron. Feeling in the eye of the people. Knowing that if anything happened to lead to Citron not being King, he was next up. And even with the number of people who liked Citron, there were still people who thought Orange should be King instead, including extremists, one of which worked for Orange directly for who knows how long. He couldn't relax, he couldn't quit, he didn't have the room to.

They tell us that Citron couldn't get along with his brothers because the competition for the crown but we don't get to see it from Orange and Navel's perspective much. We know they were curious enough about Citron that they'd copy some things he did, such as reading one of his favorite books. But let's not forget they had a negative takeaway from that book, they didn't get it. Their world, though similar to Citron's, has colored their lenses darker than his, to where they couldn't see the positive over the parts that didn't make sense to them, over the negative. Also, they see Citron as lucky, that he was born under a lucky star. While Citron was the one to say they then must've been born under unlucky stars, they already were somewhat thinking that to point out how lucky Citron is. After all, they had to have been comparing his luck to something to conclude he was lucky.

Being Orange was being bitter and cold and working hard to accomplish a goal. A goal many thought you were suited for, to the point that you believed it yourself, that you had to prove it to your father-- to everyone, that you had to be ready if it ever came to pass. And that's what he did.

He worked hard, and plotted, and schemed, and grew so desperate. And it wasn't even because he hated Citron. Because he doesn't hate Citron. Orange resents Citron, he thinks it should've been him instead, he thinks he needs to prove himself better than Citron, he thinks Citron is in his way. But he doesn't hate him. If he hated him he wouldn't read his favorite book to try and get that bit of understanding. If he hated him he wouldn't care if Citron died, so long as he got the throne. But he did read that book, and he did care that Citron lived, making it clear that he thought just kidnapping him was suffice. So yea, Orange didn't do all of that out of hatred for Citron, but moreso out of (self)obligation, expectation and determination.

It was hard in his earliest years for him not to desire the crown, the comments against Citron likely initially felt somewhat as a compliment. So of course, it became something more something he just had to make tangible. People believed he could, he believed he could, he just had to get there. He'd been convinced from a young age that this was what he wanted. And maybe he really did. But it wasn't easy and all his hard work never seemed to come to fruition.

He worked hard and people grew to like Citron as next in line. He studies to be prince, was days away from his coronation, and Citron shows up for the crown. Orange kidnaps his brother, (says no on the killing of him) to try a last ditch effort of getting the crown because if Citron was coronated he wouldn't get any other chances. But the one person who was supposed to be on his side and listen to him directly, didn't and everything went up in flames, which he didn't want, and he's been stripped of the chances to become king(because he did set up basically an attempted hit on his brother). And his reputation was completely tarnished, being blamed for things he didn't do, such as breaking the translation device.

Of course, Orange's actions are his own and of course he has to make up for the harm he's caused and of course people's view of him was gonna change. But gosh it's so exhausting being Orange, working your whole life for the affection, respect and approval of the people, of your father, and for it all to turn to dust. All that hard work down the drain.

You think he ever wished he was Tangerine? Blissfully out of the race for Crown, able to have time without people looking closely at your actions in comparison to Citron's, able to breathe?

[somegrumpynerd]

I saw your last reblog Bruh tell me what's on your mind

'Am here for you men

LET THE DEMONS OUT

DON'T LET THEM RIP YOU APART

TELLLLLL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Okay so I went to bed before I saw this and I'm not wicked 100% sure what thing I reblogged this is about (cursed timezone and bad memory I'm sorry) but you wanna hear a thing that's been on my mind?

Dream and Killer are probably the two people who know Nightmare best in the entire world.

Like, Dream was his only best friend in the world as kids, he knows all his favourite stories and flowers and animals and colours. He knows what Nightmare loves and hates and why, but he doesn't think any of it's true anymore. He wants really badly to believe the brother he grew up with is still in there but on some level he expects that brother is gone forever, so he thinks he must be the person who knows him the least.

And then there's Killer, who was the first mortal Nightmare ever spent time with willingly after the corruption. Who spent a long time as the only other being Nightmare saw outside of battle, and he learned a lot. He knows what makes Nightmare upset and what he gravitates towards, even if he doesn't know why. He knows how to talk Nightmare around, how to spin things in a way he'll understand or like better.

And I think if the two of them had a chance to talk about him and share what they know, it would show Dream that his brother is very much still here, however different he may look.

[deoidesign]

just wanted to say that I absolutely LOVE your comic I am so inspired by it and it’s so lovely and I wanna buy the physical books (I’ve never done that before) I just AUGGHHH EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS SO 💙💙💙

do you allow fanart? And is there anything not allowed? I wanna draw adam and steve so bad 😭

Of course it's allowed! Fanart fanfic fan music fan dubs whatever!

I like to think I'm sort of "building a playground" when I make a story, have fun on it! I made it for you!

In my general opinion, it's not my business what my "fandom" does... It's on you and also me to curate our own spaces! If you're inspired by my work in any way, that's the greatest honor I could imagine and I want you to feel fully free to explore that. If someone is being weird, I know where the block button is and they can keep being weird where I don't have to see it haha

Just don't like... sell it... it's messy legally with webtoon and I'm one person making the story and it's my whole income so the few sales I get are kind of huge for me ;_;

[cryolyst]

~

[fiepige]

Hobie Brown variant OC:

I finally decided to make Symbiote!Hobie (nicknamed SH by Hobie, which over time turned into Sage) his own thing, cause I've made so many changes to him that I've decided he's just gonna be another version of Hobie from another dimension.

I basically came up with him when thinking about what it would take for Hobie to truly bond with a symbiote and this is what I came up with.

While he's technically Hobie too I'm gonna refer to him as Sage in this post to avoid confusion <3

Gonna start with his appearance and then move on to his origins and how he got involved with the Spider-Society:

Disclaimer: I cannot draw so I haven't even attempted at drawing his face cause I know I'd never be able to draw him in a way I'd like- So I did the next best thing:

(He has a normal face I just tried to find a way for me to draw him without drawing his face lol)

Pictured above is Sage and his symbiote K.A.T (and their symbiote form- yeah it's the same as Venom!Hobie cause I like the design lol)

He looks like Hobie but younger- he's around 11 when he's bitten by the spider and fused with K.A.T - he's around 12 when he gets introduced to the Spider-Society

He's got short hair as it was completely shaved off when he got caught by Oscorp - more about this under his origins - he wants to let it grow out after meeting Hobie and being inspired by his approach to his looks (he really looks up to Hobie but don't tell anyone I said that!)

His left iris is white as a result of the symbiote DNA being fused to him. He can make it match his right eye if he concentrates but only really bothers to do so if he feels it draws too much attention

After meeting Hobie he helps Sage get a few piercings of his own

He usually wears a hoodie and/or a mask to hide his face - he's super paranoid and does his best to hide himself from others

Never goes anywhere without his noice cancelling earmuffs - he's got enhanced senses due to his spider powers but they can be a bit of a nuisance since he's also sensitive to loud noises due to his symbiote...

He also usually wears sunglasses to shield himself from sensory overload as he was subjected to it a lot as part of the experiments he was put through at Oscorp - and thus getting his senses overstimulated can result in panic attacks, so he does what he can to avoid it + it hides his eyes as well

K.A.T (Killing Authority-opposing Targets) is Sage's symbiote

It usually stays hidden unless they're alone or around people they trust/already knows about its presence.

If it does show itself it'll usually stay on Sage's shoulder or sit in his lap, it's still tethered to him so it can't go that far without him - not that it really wants to anyways

The reason K.A.T takes this form is that Sage is a cat person and it used it as a method to make him like it more when they first "met" + petting it helped Sage calm down and still does

K.A.T is still made of the same goo as regular symbiotes so it does not feel like petting a cat at all- Sage doesn't mind but most other people get suprised when they first touch it

If it likes someone it'll rub itself against their legs and mimic purring noises - if it dislikes someone it'll hiss and arch its back at them

K.A.T is a more animalistic symbiote and mainly communicates with Sage by letting him feel its emotions instead of speaking to him

To avoid making the post even longer than it's already gonna be I'll link to this post where I go into more detail about the design of thier Symbiote form instead of describing it here too ^^'.

This was originally supposed to be a short summary but I've realised I'm incapable of making short posts when it comes to stuff like this:

Origin:

Sage is a younger version of Hobie Brown. (11 years old when bitten by the spider and fused with his symbiote)

Sage and K.A.T "met" at one of Oscorp's labs

He was living as a homeless kid (having escaped an abusive household a few months prior)

He was bitten by a radioactive spider while looking for a place to spend the night.

He got very sick from the bite and was easily captured by Oscorp goons looking for new test subjects in the streets

Despite his young age Sage is a more ruthless Hobie variant, in part due to his upbringing and due to his symbiote (and the trauma they both go through at the hands of Oscorp)

K.A.T was a new kind of experimental symbiote that was set to be terminated due to it killing all its previous hosts - Sage was their last attempt at fusing it with someone

They decide to fuse it with Sage as he was deemed indisposable due to him seeming more dead than alive - suffering from the venom of spider bite at the time - and thus it wouldn't be a problem if the symbiote killed him too

Since the spider bite was still changing his DNA as he got fused with K.A.T some of its DNA got fused with him as well as a "side effect" during the process

Due to this it's incredibly hard (if not impossible) to seperate the symbiote from Sage without severely hurting them both

His body develops organic web shooters when it fuses with K.A.T - the webs are black and can be shot from either of his 4 arms when in his symbiote form (they can also be shot regularly while in his human form)

Sage develops enhanced senses and a taste for human flesh after being fused with K.A.T - he also has enhanced senses from the spider bite - making it easy to overstimulate his senses and overwhelm him before he learns to get it more under control

Since Sage's gotten powers from both the spider bite and the symbiote they quickly become the subjects for many inhumane and painful experiments as the scientists futilely try to figure out how to replicate the symbiote (as they're unaware of the spider bite, thinking the symbiote alone is behind Sage's new powers)

The main scientist behind the experiments is this dimension's version of Peter Parker!

Sage eventually manages to escape the lab during one of their many tests- killing as many guards and scientists on his way out as possible - and eating some of them as well

As a result of their treatment at the lab + his past with his abusive foster family, both Sage and K.A.T have developed a deep distrust to other people - at this point they both consider the other their only friend

Sage goes back to living as a homeless kid, avoiding people as best as he can, but he's also got an insatiable taste for human flesh as well!

He will usually target anyone associated with Oscorp when he's hungry (if none are available cops are the next best thing- his dimension is just as corrupt as -138 Hobie's dimension)

He doesn't feel bad about killing but will still try not to harm civilians (emphasis on try- sometimes the hunger gets the best of him)

Due to his senses being extra sensitive + his paranoia from his experiences at the lab and his foster homes, he tries to avoid crowded and noisy places - This all leads to him being more active at night while he usually tries to lay low and hide during the day.

He lived like this for months until a certain event changed that:

First encounter with the Spider-Society

Sage's dimension is blacklisted meaning people from the Spider-Society aren't allowed to go there (cause a spider-person who's embracing their symbiote instead of resisting it is deemed unsafe by Miguel and thus best to be avoided)

Sage does still get introduced to the spider-society albeit through a rather unconventional way:

- One day a portal opens up and pulls Sage through it, sending him to another dimension as an anomaly

Having no idea about what's going on, and being scared and confused about the whole situation, he does his best to lay low and avoid other people.

Because of this he spends a lot of time in the other dimension before the society discovers signs of an anormaly - glitched objects like seen when Kingpen uses the collider in itsv, or the museum that the Vulture appears in in atsv

Sage eventually has his first run in with other spider people when his hunger gets the best of him and he becomes more careless as he turns into his symbiote form to go look for prey

Here he encounters Gwen and Peter B as they're looking for the anomaly causing things to glitch out in the dimension

Not knowing he's a spider person and an actual child, Peter and Gwen attack him as they always do with anomalies - it also doesn't help that Sage doesn't exactly look friendly when in his symbiote form.

He fights back cause these masked people attacked him for no reason so they must be bad guys and of course he's gonna defend himself - it also doesn't help that he's starving and thus not thinking clearly at this point.

Unfortunately for him, these guys have high frequency equipment to deal with symbiotes and thus they manage to subdue him, but not before he manages to fight back, revealing his organic webbing which tips Gwen and Peter off to him having spider powers as well

He's subdued and forced into an electric cage (which brings back a lot of unpleasant memories from his time at Oscorp) and sent to the Spider-Society afterwards

When he arrives at the Society he quickly gets overstimulated and has a panic attack and lashes out in a desperate attempt at escaping his electric cage - also seeing the face of the scientist who tortured him for months everywhere certainly didn't help

Gwen then uses a high-frequency device made to combat symbiotes to force him to revert back to his human form

She immediately recognises him as a young version of -138 Hobie

Her and Peter both panic cause 1. They realise they basically beat up a kid and locked him up. 2. That kid has a symbiote! 3. That kid is a younger version of another spider-person they both know (and who they both know has a very long and strained history with symbiotes!)

Miguel gets involved and a discussion begins about whether they should try and seperate Hobie (Sage) and his symbiote

- The other spiders mean well by this but Sage and K.A.T both panic at the thought of being separated - at this point they really view the other as their only friend as it's been them against the world ever since they fused

Sage, still panicking, tries to protest but they won't listen as they view him as a kid who doesn't know what's best for him

Sage is taken to the room with all the villains while they discuss what to do with him

Here Margo sees Sage and K.A.T comforting each other, K.A.T manifesting physically in Sage's lap, being hugged tightly by Sage as he promises it he'll never let anyone separate them

Seeing this, Margo takes pity on them and 'accidentally' sends them home before the other spiders get a chance to try and remove K.A.T from Sage.

Relationships with other spider-people

Some time later Sage has an encounter with Hobie who found out about the whole mess - despite Miguel ordering Gwen and Peter not to tell him

While Hobie isn't exactly a fan of symbiotes he first and foremost sees Sage as a traumatised homeless kid in need of safety and stability

Hobie offers Sage to stay at his boat whenever he wants (as long as he promises not to eat anyone while he's there), he also gives him one of his bootleg watches so he can come and go as he pleases (and explains that he can also use it to get home to his own dimension if he's ever unwillingly sent to another dimension again)

Sage declines at first but over time he slowly opens up to Hobie and begins to trust him

(He also secretly looks up to Hobie once he trusts him, cause who doesn't? He's an older version of himself who's got a place to call his home, one that he opens up to strangers in need such as himself, he uses his powers for good and not just to survive. He's not afraid to be who he is and draw attention to himself - something Sage has been too afraid to do ever since his time at Oscorp. He's got friends and people he trusts. - all things that Sage wants too but doesn't believe he'll ever have) Also he'll never admit that he looks up to Hobie but he can tell anyways

Hobie's the one that gives Sage his nickname, it started as SH but over time it turned into Sage instead, though he doen't mind being called Hobie as well, it's just easier to go by Sage when both he and Hobie are present.

He still doesn't trust people, especially not the Spider-Society after their first meeting, which made it very awkward when Gwen showed up to visit Hobie while Sage was there - luckily Hobie managed to interfere before they beat each other up too much...

(He trusts Margo a bit as well since she 'saved' him from the Spider-Society - also it's nice to be around someone who doesn't smell like food since she's an avatar and not made of flesh and blood)

He currently lives at Hobie's boat, switching between it and his own dimension as he pleases

Hobie did his best to hide it but he was rather freaked out by K.A.T's presence in the beginning, he did his best to supress it cause he genuinely wants to help Sage

Hobie mentors him in how to use his Spider Powers and tries to give him a moral compass to at least prevent him from eating civilians when he gets too hungry - He usually targets cops or people working for Oscorp but the hungrier he gets the less picky he is

Another reason Hobie took him in is because he knows ostracising someone won't make them a better person and while Hobie doesn't believe in deciding what's best for others he still knows life will be a bit easier for Sage if he doesn't just kill whoever he wants whenever he wants - impulse control is important when you have a cannibalistic symbiote in your body.

- Hobie still dislikes symbiotes but he respects Sage's choice to keep his and does his best to help him control some of the more violent urges that come with a symbiote.

Hobie introduces Sage to his punk ideologies and slowly introduces him to the punk community

Hobie also introduces him to some of his friends but it's a slow process due to Sage having a hard time trusting people - especially spider-people after his Spider-Society encounter

Some of the spider-people also have a hard time opening up to him because of his symbiote

But Hobie's good at making a safe space for Sage to feel like he can slowly start to open up to others

For the first time in years Sage feels like he has someone (besides K.A.T) he can trust and over time he starts to view Hobie as his older brother

And that's that folks! (at least for now)

To the one person who actually bothered to read all of this - know that I'm infinitely grateful that you took your time to read about my boy <3

- I initially tried to keep this short but I gave up cause Sage has been living rent free in my head for weeks and it feels so nice to finally flesh him out and write about him!

You know I couldn't resist making my first oc angsty - but at least he ends up doing better than where he started.

Hopefully you guys like him too! If you have any questions please let me know, I could talk about him forever <3

[dentist-brainsurgeon]

Long Vent under read more

TLDR: Tired, Lonely, unhappy with living situation

These past 2 and a half years, especially these past six months have really nailed in just how stifled and suffocated I feel, there was a point where living with my aunt and grandma felt good, I felt loved and comfortable for once, I've lived with them for 8 years of my adult life, but the older I get, the more I realized this is just another restrictive household where I have to walk on eggshells. I have to pretend to be Christian, I have to pretend to be cis and straight, have to pretend I don't have mental problems, and when I'm angry, its always chalked up to be my period, and they always treat me like a child, and its getting more and more obvious as the years go by. I don't get to go out much, in the past two years, the only times I was out of the house for days, was when I was in the hospital, and despite the pain I endured there, I felt sad to leave, and I cried when I was given the OK to go back to work, I hated going back to normal. And the other time, very recently, was when I got to hang out with my best friend for a few days, and it was great! I loved it!! But it was so short lived, it was the only time I was comfortable being myself in public. and I hated going back to normal again. I don't really get to partake in hobbies until maybe when my aunt and grandma fall asleep, and even then I'm too tired to do much of anything. My time is never considered, scheduled for my first PT session? Oh family is coming over and they're going to borrow the car, work? Oh we're going to go eat out with a friend at the Cheesecake Factory, final doctors appointment? Oh I'm getting my hair dyed, Hang out with my friend that was planned for months that I made sure they knew about? we're going on a cruise!!! and many such cases, doesn't matter if I tell them, and put it on the calendar. Sure the house they live in is pretty nice and its good to actually have AC, wifi and my own room for the first time in a long time but, I really only get to exist in my room, if I'm lucky, and they're out of town for a few days, I can finally exist in the living room and I actually don't mind cleaning and I'm able to cook! When my grandma and aunt can't criticize every little thing. I wouldn't mind living by myself, with friends, or even the small chance of having decent roommates, I want to be around people I actually like being around, I want to partake in hobbies at any hour of the day, I just want out, I want to be able to live my life

[sskk-manifesto]

Atsushi's back in the game!!! ۶( ˆ o ˆ )

[daz4i]

yknow i noticed the small steps method doesn't help me and only stresses me out more. and like i just get stuck on the first step anyway and never move on to the next one, i'll probably even go back to the start eventually really. i'm apparently an all or nothing guy i can't think of an action as multiple actions bc it stresses me out i just need to either do it or not. the problem is i usually end up not

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

[anonyanonymouse]

🙈

[talkorsomething]

want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald

[beesorcery]

google how do i tell my dad that the reason i keep bringing up elon musk's transphobia isn't that i've got gen z political tunnel vision that makes me blind to his "innovation" in electric cars but because i am desperately crying out for you as the father of a trans child to feel just as outraged and angry as i am that that man has so much power

[stellacadente]

i guess i need to have a "god i'm so awful and selfish and wrong and shameful for having attempted suicide" moment at least once a day for the foreseeable future

[domorebemore]

-