#idk it would be a hilarious rug I think

[thresholdbb]

[fightwing]

@batcrested / cont.

dick's answer was a huff of indignation. an avenue to discuss their passions and a forum where they're all together will always be supported by one dick grayson, and he holds those memories near and dear to his heart. THAT BEING SAID they rarely had a night off. much less a night off where they're all together, and maybe it was the sheer number of family they shared, the impossible infinity of characters in both those medias or the sangria babs had made but some of the finer details are a bit hazy following that night. at that last part though, dick had to stand up for himself. " you can't possibly tell me you don't see any resemblance. he looks like charmander's polite little brother. " he gestures, maybe unnecessarily at the whole dinosaur fangs of it all.

dick groaned, more for the sake of the motion than an actual cry of displeasure, and began using his own free time to stretch out some of his sore bones from their admittedly dramatic entrance. THIS was one of the nicer parts about being back home. batman still took care of the boring stuff, and dick and tim were moreso left to clear the scene from any evidence they were ever there. considering this was a rather in-and-out operation, there wasn't a whole lot to do. instead, he laughed and held up his hands like he was proving his innocence. " hey i'm not judging! remember that time i brought home 38 quesadilla's from that one cart in blud? " it was both for the good of the kind man running the cart and for entirely selfish, delicious reasons. dick had paid in full and then some for all the food whatever villain of the week had wrecked, but this time with the added bonus of having lunch for the next month. win-win-win! dick motioned at the statue. his only real experience with this kind of stuff was things wally brought to the tower, and all of wally's things seemed to be modified in some way. " does it . . . talk? "

[lesbianrobin]

okay so. buck learns something about tommy's past (not the stuff we've seen in flashbacks something New) that sends him spiraling. he talks to both bobby and maddie about it but seemingly not eddie(?). he is baking with his niece. all of this in conjunction with eddie begins callback and following the denny nde. i have to wonder if it's. somehow related to kids. like this is genuinely an insane guess but what if tommy like has a kid he isn't in contact with or something is that. too deranged. or is that like precluded by something tommy's said before bc if so sorry i do not pay attention when he speaks.

anyway like okay i'm just thinking like what about tommy could make buck spiral yknow if the show is fuckin. committing to just sweeping the bigotry under the rug. i've seen a lot of people floating the "tommy is abby's ex" thing which would be hilarious but 1. idk if anybody on the show actually remembers abby having an ex named tommy and 2. at this point i'm not sure if that would rly. Do much. yknow? like what is there for buck to ask advice about in that situation all there really is for him to do is be like damn that's crazy.

so like. all i can think of in tommy's Past that might significantly impact buck and send him looking for advice and set him on a new path is something to do with children. and buck wanting them while the crypt keeper does not. but maybe i'm just like struggling and there are a ton of options idk

[kindred-spirit-93]

spooky stuff

howdy yall im back on my bs (biscuit soliloquy) and idk what im doing with my life any more. bold of me to assume that i ever did. in other news:

my latest hyperfixation so to speak is watching daz play through horror games lol i have no idea why its so entertaining but it is. the jumpscares be jumpscaring and i dont have to do any of the work to play so its a win win!

im currently sick to my stomach after watching one lol buuuuuuut i also have a new short story idea hehe!! is more comedic, and honestly seems to me more doable than the falcon & flower.

f&f really deserves better writing lol and ive been thinking how to make it a sensible length without cutting out too much lore that it gets watered down, but at the same time i cant afford the time or braincells to mentally write and im kinda stuck. so idk maybe ill work on chapters that eventually lead somehwere? ill get back to it as soon as my latest batch of braincells hatch 👍

--

til then lol this new idea is still halfbaked but it made me laugh so here yall go: broke uni student moves to be closer to campus. finds super cheap place to rent and its literally the perfect fit. knowing her luck all too well mc goes and checks the place out, bc surely theres something amiss.

nope! everything as far as her untrained eye can tell is normal and accurate to the advertising, its just that someone died there and lots of people werent comfortable with that. and its no problem for her so she takes it.

after a lil housewarming party consisting of her and her parents lol, some thrifted furniture and an unholy amount of rugs and blankets, mc begins to settle in and all that jazz. her marks are going up, shes sleeping better, its all great. until it isnt

weird stuff keep happening around the property and shes like oh. okay? and moves on. (unbothered queen. we stan)

quick detour; idk how well id be able to write considering this may be my first project, but it would be hilarious i think if shit got progressively weirder and more insane and shes like: *sips apple juice* welp. ive got a quiz tomorrow aint got time for this. or eh that kid had it coming or better yet: is that kite just suspended there? oh would you look at that it caught fire in mid air. cool. i honestly dont know which is funnier

boom the house is haunted. something, or rather someone, has been leaving her signs in the bathroom using the soap, moving around the plates and cutlery, ruining perfectly good upholstery (THAT WAS 73% OFF). its a huge invasion of her privacy and shes having none of it. also she doesnt believe in paranormal nonsense. this is more of an inconvenience to her than anything else. she yells at whatever the fuck is in her walls to show themselves before she contacts HOA >:(

with a pop a very pissed off ghost materialises muttering something about no need for escalations and that bitch gwennifer. she makes the ghost clean up the stuff they knocked over and what have u. and then shenanigans ensue i guess lol

--

this whole story started with me coming up with a scene where mc makes like direct eye contact with the ghost and plays ayat al kursi. it was significantly funnier in my head but the mental image stuck.

also just for kicks she throws (half assedly) some zamzam water at the ghost and it goes right through them. guys do you see my vision?

--

"i am here to make your life a living hell.

so not halal mode

one to match the gruesome horrors that lead to my demise...

brotha eugh

...so that my soul can finally be laid t- are you even listening to me??"

authubillah we have seen the evidence

"??????"

--

memes for the soul. ill get back to this maybe perhaps one day. goodnight its one am lol and i have a long day ahead of me tmrw :')

the post from the tags lol >:]

[mamamittens]

Had the hilarious thought about my old ferret-alien-dragon avatar winding up in one piece and being A MENACE.

They're like, stupid tall in the 'adult' form btw, maybe eight feet or something ridiculous for us but not super crazy for OP.

Anyway, solely because they made the executive decision to play dumb until they deemed it safe or funny enough. Idk, maybe they accidentally wound up on a slaver ship and noticed sentience DID NOT get you better treatment. Less is more.

Anyway, would absolutely play the Dumb Toothless Esque animal. Like, you get the feeling they're intelligent enough to maybe understand some words, but not really.

Fucks with people by acting up as innocently as possible.

Had the funny mental image of Marco (as the resident extreme healing factor) guiding them to meet Whitebeard by kinda gesturing and talking slowly.

Very

"Oooo-kay, come here. This way--here!" With his hands and they decide to mildly obey while pretending to think they're getting a treat for following. So like, their eyes are fixed on Marco's hands. And everytime he looks away they slowly stretch out their face like they intend to swallow his hand. Maybe lick. And everyone who sees it is just... Really letting that happen.

All the way until Marco is addressing Whitebeard and they take that moment to gently put his whole hand in their mouth.

Marco is just.

So fucking offended.

Big, wet lick as they 'innocently' sniff and whine at his arm. And everyone is laughing their asses off.

So Marco has a bit of a bone about them.

Obviously they can't just drop off this "exotic creature" just anywhere so they travel together for some time. Just... Fucking with them. Occasionally slipping or revealing they're smarter than they seem--which is Marco's stance from day one but can't prove it cause even he doesn't quite think they understand words.

They tease the crew a lot, skittering around or making the odd noise to startle someone. Really likes Stefan and makes everyone nervous until they melt into a puddle with their tail wagging.

Not sure when they'd pull the rug.

Maybe at first it would be a cheeky "Thanks" to Thatch for specially prepping dinner for them after a hilarious sequence of trial and error (upon realizing they don't just steal food like a heathen but instead gaze longingly from a distance). And Thatch immediately goes to Marco like

"Okay, I believe you--our weird dog IS INTELLIGENT."

"Oh, thank fuck, what gave them--"

"THEY THANKED ME FOR THEIR FOOD!"

"...this bitch can talk?!?"

But they simply double down on the 'vaguely intelligent animal' thing until shit hits the fan. Maybe they need to do a break in with the Marines, but basically Marco or Thatch turns to them like

"Look, I know you understand what's going on. And I get it, it's been fun playing dumb, but I need you right now. Can you help?"

And they just look at them for a moment before sighing.

"Alright, fine. What's the plan, dude?"

(they're super thrown by the complete sentence on top of a 'dude'.)

Maybe they give up the act and start being an overt shit after this. Maybe Marco/Thatch/whoever starts playing along.

It'd be funny regardless.

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 21

AKA, the finale :O this will be a doozy...

for Going Through It as frequently and as strongly as Jake does, i find it hilarious that all of his promotional material always looks like it was ripped straight from a dorky high school girl's instagram feed. also, go Ashley, roast that clown (/lh)

that's such a cute drawing omg!!! i always have fun thinking about how good the drawing is in the context of the universe it was drawn in. like, to us, his proportions look kinda off, but in their universe, the giant heads and tiny waists are actually really accurate. Hunter is going to be the next great artist fr.

... i thought that the point was supposed to be that Jake grew more than anyone here, which is why he was facing down Riya. i mean, i guess you could say that Ally had to grow a new personality for the beginning of the season, and then have that character develop. she is more changed from s2 Ally than Jake is from s1 Jake because Jake had more of a character in s1.

and boy, would it suck if that promise was left unfulfilled! (/s)

it is true that this (if she actually remained on Riya's team the whole time) is kind of a win-win for Ellie. either Riya loses, or she gets $100K. both are acceptable.

this was such a cute/fitting response for Jake to have. it's a really great button on their relationship.

i love how smug they look at no one wanting to help Riya.

WHEN THE FUCK WERE YOU WATERBOARDED???

actually, we know that Tom is a terrible liar, so maybe he got waterboarded by the mob boss after they figured out he was lying in the interrogation.

w... what...?

dare i say iconic

i know that they didn't really have time, but with Alec and Ellie working together (and Alec protecting Ellie, as he did here), i had kind of hoped that we'd get a bit more closure on their relationship. like, does Ellie still hate Alec for betraying her? or is the fact that they were going to be in the villains alliance together mean that they'd cross that bridge? maybe i'm just forgetting, but their relationship feels somewhat unresolved. (i mean relationship platonically btw; no hate to people who ship them but i don't need to know if they're a couple or not because the canon answer is obviously no)

i don't know if this was really necessarily but good for you girl

this is like the first time Fiore has cared about anyone ever :,D Fiore and Alec the duo ever!!!

A GENUINE SMILE????????

why are you preventing this from happening? you know Gabby, so you should know that this would absolutely work.

rewatching the beginning of the episode after knowing the end, i sorta wanted to question whether Ashley abstaining from helping could have accidentally lost Jake the win. however, Tom is just so doggedly determined to cover his man that i think he probably was the best guy for the job. like, would Ashley dive for him? idk.

okay, 1) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK THAT WAS GOING TO DO, RIYA?!?!, and 2) HOW THE FUCK DID GABBY NOT LOSE HER ARM FROM THIS. IMAGINE IF SHE DID. THIS WAS WILD.

... does Riya understand how pain works? or the American healthcare system? Ellie surely wanted to use that money for something else, dude.

so they are kinda sweeping Tom's wrongdoings under the rug, huh? sigh. hopefully it's just a "for now" thing to be further explored in the miniseries.

i love Trevor's little :3 face

and boy, would it suck if this favor was left unfulfilled! (/s)

i watched a compilation of each Disventure Camp character's first and last lines, and let me just say, it's really weird that "Go, Jake!" (said with Aiden) is James' last line ever.

GIVE UP ON HERRRRRRRRR

(also, glad his foot seems to be doing better)

i know i probably would have made fun of this scene for being super corny/moving too fast if Tom had said "i love you," but it's perhaps equally funny that he didn't. like, c'mon bro, you can't even muster the L word in this incredibly dramatic and heroic moment?

COPE

oh boy...

y'know, beyond just not having a good time slot in which to do so, i also kinda put off writing these initial thoughts because i just really didn't feel like having to write anything about ONC's choice regarding the winner of the season. everyone online seems to have these really radical opinions-- either saying that this was a brilliantly subversive and poetic choice, or that the entire season (and perhaps even s2 before it) are ruined by the choice to let Riya in. the truth is, i'm incredibly neutral.

on one hand, i'm incredibly disappointed. if you've been keeping up with these initial thoughts throughout the season, or especially my episode-by-episode power rankings, you'll know that i've very firmly believed that Jake was going to be the winner of this season since the beginning of the merge. and it's not because he's my favorite character and i really wanted him to win or anything-- i have a generally favorable opinion on Jake, but it was mostly because i thought that the arcs and messages of the season would be best capped off with a Jake win. therefore, it's saddening to believe that they didn't capitalize on all that potential just for the sake of shock value.

then again, i really appreciate what ONC was trying to do with Riya. i can tell that they must have felt like they had a lot to prove with Riya in DCAS given how mixed her reception was in s2. so, they put in a lot of work to "fix" her character in DCAS, and, on the whole, i think they got a lot better! as much as i was predicting the Jake win, i was also kind of dreading it, just because it was the sort of cheesy, fanservicey ending that could be predicted from a mile away. so i appreciate the boldness to go for an unexpected ending, and the refusal to stagnate in cookie cutter fan-pleasing storylines when your artistic heart is driving you in another direction.

which is why, in the end, i have no strong opinions. i think that the character writing absolutely could have been set up to establish viewer expectations better, but i also don't think that the entire season is unwatchable because Riya wins. the truth of the matter is still that all of the other contestants besides Yul are the real winners of the season, because they made friends and grew as people. if you rewatch the season, you can still see the gang do just that. but the equal truth is that all of the promises those friends made and the goal that drove them to improve might all feel a bit more hopeless with the knowledge that Connor never did get to one-up Riya. People who needed the money more, like Ashley, Alec, or Ellie didn't get a cent of it. and unlike it would be for Jake, who had a lot of connections with a lot of people, many contestants had pretty much no bearing on the winner of the season at all.

i want to believe that the Disventure Camp writing can and will continue to overall get better, but i also can't ignore the obvious signs of growing pains. can't bring myself to get all too mad at them either, though. mostly, i just want to stay out of any drama.

it really shows that Jake hasn't been able to look at social media since the beginning of the show. trust me, buddy, not everyone was rooting for you.

unsurprising that tomjake gets the last kiss of the season/era.

cite your sources, please (/j)

i guess the real person Riya was lying to all along... was herself. *vine boom* because, seriously, how the fuck did she not realize that it wasn't just acting anymore? when she double-broke Connor's foot and tried to make Ally think that Jake lied about being suicidal???

[mirimangarecs]

“for better or for worse” - eunren & noh hueda

a noblewoman from a humble country house realizes that her entire life is a pre-written book, and that an imminent arranged marriage between a ducal heir and her little sister will lead to her tragic death. she sabotages the engagement in order to save her sister’s life, but ends up married to him instead. they’re both snarky, stubborn, and refuse to fall in love…… unless…………

the couple: these two are my favourite historical romance couple, hands down. they are such incredible shitheads to each other but the bickering always feels like a real, equal give-and-take based on strong personalities. they are quick-witted, hilarious, outgoing, and extremely active participants in their own lives. watching their relationship grow and change slowly is my joy. they’re made for each other

the plot: i adore how realistic and grounded the story and setting are. there’s no magic, no empire-shaking conflicts; just a relatively unassuming marriage between aristocrats and navigating the social and interpersonal challenges that come with it. the story as a whole is well-written and has a fantastic commitment to the victorian style without ever being stuffy. i would kill to be able to read the novel

the art: phenomenal. 12/10. i wish the artist had more work available. it’s crisp, bright, unique, easy on the eyes, and completely refreshing. the panels are neatly organized and fly by like watching a movie. the physical action pops off the screen and the judiciously applied detail panels are gorgeous. i want to eat this art.

also, the character designs: the big fluffy bangs, strong eyebrows, small cute lips, fangs, and boisterous chibi expressions make the characters so incredibly charming and expressive. i’m getting a lot of classic shoujo inspiration and i love it

concerns and criticisms: honestly almost none, it’s virtually flawless, but the ones i do have relate entirely to the ending. like, the final ~5 chapters. which is a matter of taste!! only big big spoilers from here:

the sin of overexplaining:

- we didn’t NEED to have the entire soul-swapping situation explicitly narrated to us, especially after the previous ~3 chapters all but said so. i think it would’ve been more poignant left unsaid with all the clues given to interpret. dillon learned the information in-universe and the audience was tastefully excluded, only for that extremely delicate narrative device to be tossed out the window

it was adeline’s soul all along!:

- this really cheeses me because we just spent so much time with dillon As Dillon. cedric fell in love with her because of who she was, and if who she was was just adeline’s soul in a trenchcoat, then what happens to the moral of the story being positive change, personal agency, and choosing to love someone?

- sure, the “we as souls are so entangled we’ll find each other no matter who we are on the outside” is poetic and certainly has appeal and WAS hinted at, but it just fell so flat for me after dillon spent the entire manhwa agonizing over not being adeline, believing she didn’t deserve cedric because she wasn’t adeline, that she would have to leave him when he meets adeline, and going on such a tumultuous, laborious journey of self-acceptance where she comes to terms with her past life and finally being loved as herself……. only to find out she was adeline all along. she worked so hard to gain her confidence and then it’s just oops! all adeline. idk man

- the way that it leads you to think it’s a traditional “normal modern isekai into a novel” trope and then pulls the rug out from under you is pretty clever

IT’S STILL A 13/10 MUST READ TOP 5 MANHWA 🎉🎉🪅🌟✨ okay bye

[clarabowmp3]

Could you please predict for me when we will be done with the meathead?

stoppp 💀💀 honestly I didn’t expect them to have lasted till now but also I fully expected that she’d end up marrying joe so what do I/anyone rlly know lmao 🤡🤡

Fully explained below but tl;dr - it’s either until the travis team (i legit forgot the name i know the colour is red or smthhhh) keeps winning the Super Bowl/maintains a relatively good reputation OR until Taylor gets bored of him and looks for another shiny toy to make a complete fool of herself over (so like by this time next year) OR they get married and ride off into the sunset towards some happily ever after.

Howeverrr just for funsies: the way I see it is by working backwards, starting with if I see them getting married, and honestly…based on ttpd, leaning towards yes. When they will get married I have no inkling and I don’t even feel like speculating cuz of all those gross pregnancy/marriage rumours going around 🤢 I think they’ll get married cuz:

their careers are such that they’re both lifting the other up when they show up for games/concerts, there is no conflict of interest (ie no competition) cuz of the vastly different fields they’re in. Also, he was more established than joe at the start of their r/ship which makes for a very rosy picturesque love story image which at least some part of Taylor desires (based on her interviews, the fearless/speak now eras) but she’s also become quite jaded (as per ttpd) so maybe she thinks this is the closest she’s going to get to it

i also think she’s in no rush to leave a r/ship this comfortable after her last 2 emotionally complex ones. Not saying this is good or bad of her; I do understand why she would want to take it easy now (and possibly forever) but given how little they seem to have in common, I don’t think she can find this r/ship as emotionally fulfilling as she would want with a life partner, so I don’t see them sticking it out forever. Ofc I could be wrong and maybe she’s changed, but based on her track record travis does not seem the type of person Taylor Swift would want to spend the rest of her life with (girlie was cringing so hard in the viva las vegas clip)

Possible triggers for the breakup and why:

She finds someone else to obsess over and for some weird reason…she suddenly realises what a temper travis has? And how aggressive he is?? Cue the breakup songs/album, swifties dig up That Clip and go omggg how did we not see this he was abusing mother 😢😢, rinse and repeat until she (hopefully) finds some self-worth NOT tied to a man

travis’ team starts losing the Super Bowl/not doing all that well in other competitions. I think the main reason swiftie are kind of sweeping his messed up tweets and behaviour under the rug is cuz they won. But what abt if/when they stop winning? All that’s left is a hot-tempered football player who isn’t even an “all-star” (am I using that term correctly?) and she’s not going to like being associated with that/have that tarnish her brand. I find it so absurdly hilarious but she would rather be seen as problematic (re: M*tty) than unsuccessful, so she’d prob drop him if this happened

very unlikely, but maybe she breaks up with him and enjoys being single for a while? No reason for thinking this tho

ngl as long as this reply is, im kind of apathetic cuz she’s changed so much recently that im becoming less and less invested in her. I’m not even rlly looking forward to rep tv despite it being such a formative album for me cuz that version/image of taylor has been sooo tarnished by recent events yk? So idc what she does, mostly cuz if I had her as an actual friend I’d cut her out of my life SO fast

again, the usual disclaimers apply, idk her/them or anything abt their relationship, I am literally just a girl sipping her ginger ale and watching this train wreck of whatever taylor swiftTM has become 🍹🍹

[gracecarstairss]

I haven’t really seen anyone talk about this so idk if anyone feels the same way but…it is crazy to me that in ChoT, there is not a big reveal announcing that James and Cordelia’s marriage was a sham marriage in the beginning and that James really did burn the Blackthorn house down. I know there are various reasons why it didn’t happen because nobody even was told about Grace’s ability and they decided to brush that under the rug due to James not wanting to display his trauma for all to see, but Grace didn’t even have to be mentioned for them to discuss the sham marriage. It just felt underwhelming, especially with the power it could have had.

The whole situation of Cordelia ruining her reputation for James was so insane because it was something so extreme that no woman in 1903 would willingly admit to the entire Enclave, which made everyone automatically believe her instead of starting an investigation to see if James really did burn down the house. All the evidence was 100% there and showed that James obviously did it, all anyone had to do was look a little closer. But nobody did because of Cordelia’s proclamation. It’s hilarious because they instantly covered James’s arson up without any investigation whatsoever, they just took Cordelia’s word for it.

I wanted a scene at the end of ChoT that was a powerful monologue from Cordelia basically telling the Enclave that she fooled them because they are so entranced in high society and propriety that they could cover up literal arson so easily. I wanted her to rub it in their faces about how stupid they were and confront them about their treatment of her after she ruined her own reputation. That the judgement she received from the Enclave proves that a woman’s worth is only characterized by what a man thinks of her, that a woman’s worth is only based off of how much value she has as a sexual object for men (even though men can do whatever they want with whom ever they want). I wanted to read about the looks of pure shock on the faces of the Enclave members when they find out that James and Cordelia duped them this whole time. (Let them be petty!) It would have been good for her character arc too because it could have been linked to her obsession with perfection, good deeds, and being a hero. Anyways whatever, it’s never going to be resolved but this is just another thing that irked me about the ending of ChoT.

[randomnameless]

Here's a thing, even if Supreme Leader was trying to dismantle some corrupted system, she should do it in her own country, not conquer two sovereign countries over the pretense of "well they used to be part of Adrestia so they belong to me". I swear this game brainwashed people into thinking imperialism is okay after years of basically saying "no, it's not".

Given how Ionius was yeeted away from Nopes, I don't even know if we're supposed to look at Adrestia's own corruption - even if Adrestian NPCs are Supremely Aware and we have instances of Adrestia's finest Double Standard and we have the hilarious Ferdie line about the Kingdom having much more crested soldiers and generals than the Empire, when just checking the data of the game through all routes reveals it's much more nuanced than that!

(but how much of theDouble Standard is just Adrestia being Adrestia or those randoms being educated thanks to the propa- I mean the "information campaign" machine, idk).

At the end of the day it's not the premise of having a revanchist invasion by an Empire that, imo, really bothers in Nopes, but it's how this "campaign" is played completely straight, and everyone, even on the opposite sides, just passively accepts it, pushing everything under the rug because "IdEaLs" and "ReFoRmS" - and that's what some people said about the game wanting to sound "smart", we read and hear about those complex notions - reforms, nobility, systems, etc etc - but they are never developped.

Heck, Ferdie is the one who pushes the idea of "Imperial Schools" were randoms, regardless of their backgrounds, would be able to sit for imperial exams and become imperial civil servants, but without even making RL parallels and how the RL system was (or still is in some countries!) completely corrupt, there's no dissident voice, or anyone going all "yes sure, but what good would it be to be able to go to school if you are starving because no one is left make sure basic needs are provided and satisfied?".

That's what some people meant by the tech tree and the reasoning, I suppose, watsonian wise, behind the "ban" of the printing press - what would be its use if a majority of your people are illiterate because they cannot "waste" time going to school and have to work on the fields instead to make ends meet or just to have something to eat?

It's not something you can ignore when you talk about societal changes, but the game hammers "ReFoRmS" and "IdEaLs" while the rest of the cast holds the idiot ball to make the story believable, because no amount of "no u" could save it otherwise.

And I'd say it's the same for the imperialism depicted in Nopes and FE16, even during that sorry excuse of a parley, there's no real answer to "why the eff are you forcing my people to follow your reforms, can't you just reform your country?", we derail instead to "wow ur strong" "no i was weak" "okay we won't see eye to eye let's fight then" "okay".

[runningwithfangs]

Vampire Chronicles Book Review/Rant #4

The Tale of the Body Thief

Things take a turn once again! We got into silly Lestat adventures, met new vampires, the world was a bit changed after Akasha’s murder spree, the vamps who are left have to stick together now so we must get another chapter of this new coven right? WRONG.

Anne said it’s time for The Most Special Boy to have a turn in the spotlight again! 

I mean, it was still fun and I liked it overall, don’t get me wrong, but I think this is where The Vampire Chronicles start to get unhinged. It was a bit like watching a slow train crash, you know The Body Thief is lying, everyone warns Lestat not to do it, you know everything is going to go wrong, and you watch Lestat do it anyway. 

Overall I liked David and Lestat’s relationship, learning about David’s life and how he was unsatisfied that after devoting his life to studying mysteries he didn’t feel like he gained any more purpose or understanding in life. I didn’t get much out of Lestat’s hallucinations/memories of Claudia however. 

It was interesting how every vampire, even Louis, turns on Lestat in the human body, we know Marius lets him get away with everything, Louis will always be loyal despite himself, and the other vampires all love him, but once he’s renounced vampirism he’s dead to them all, even though Lestat could be turned again! Sure, Louis won’t do it, but I thought someone would offer! So it’s very convenient Lestat has made one human friend to save his ass.

Favorites:

Lestat laying naked face down ass up on David’s rug for days 😂

Lestat immediately screws up having a body, he’s getting knocked out, he’s pratfalling, he’s injuring himself, getting himself horribly sick. Hilarious! I did get worried when he almost died at the hospital though.

Lestat and other vampires are always describing Louis as “the most human” at best, and like a sickly, weak piece of shit vampire that can’t begin to keep up with the rest at worst. But when Lestat as a human visits him, he’s immediately like, oh shit why did I ever think that?! Louis is so obviously not a human! 

Mojo 💗

Least Favorites:

Anne didn’t let Lestat fuck that old man!! (Link fanfics if you got them 😛)

It’s not an immediate dislike, but disappointment? David, an old white man, takes over the already stolen body of a brown man. The death of this mechanic is not David’s fault, his taking over was the only way to save his own life. However, the old white man becomes a young hot brown man. . . it’s giving Get Out 😣 

There is a missed opportunity in not having David experience not being white in the world, giving that old man a moment to reflect on his past privilege and to grow as a person in the few months before he’s turned. Idk, it’s not that big of a deal but I would have liked to see it. 

And where’s @noncontextlestat at with the list of his crimes? Pretty sure they got SA on there already. 

Smutt:

Lestat gets to fuck a nun, a nun who just happens to be on nun sabbatical where she’s free to sin a little, as a treat. Wowowowow.

Nonsense Meter:

Automatic 9/10 nonsense, I think the reasons are clear.

Gross limp human dick < vampire permaboner. ANNE!!

Misc:

Ok, I must have been reading wrong because it wasn’t until this book that I realized Anne Rice vampires don’t have sex. I thought the sex was implied this whole time 😂

Hear me out, when Daniel and Armand are snuggling in bed and then showering, I’m not supposed to think sex happened at some point? Lestat and Akasha rolling around in bed in some Greek Villa, I’m not supposed to think sex happened?! 

When Claudia asks Louis what sex was like before, I thought she meant it like, “before you and my other dad started hating each other” and not “when you were human because you don’t do that as a vampire.” I’m not crazy, right? 

Chapter 7 (Lestat talking to Louis): “You described my weeping in your miserable memoir in a scene which we both know did not take place!” WHAT SCENE?!

[bunnyinatree]

ALRIGHT. Let me tell you about Stallion Quartermane the way I see him: Italian, trans, and ABSOLUTE BLORBO. because ur tags almost indicated interest in my interp of him and I want to rotate him at you if you don't mind :3

So, him being italian. My brain could not fucking wrap around Stallion Quartermane being the only Marleybonian horse. I *GET* that it's an animal pun to Allan Quatermain, a British character written by a British author, but MY BRAIN WOULD NOT LET ME BE OKAY WITH IT. So instead I was like 'okay do we have other European horses? Oh yes we do! The Valencians! (they're unicorns not horses but shhhhh maybe Stallion was just born different or maybe unhorned horsefolk exist in Valencia IDK)'. Hence, Italian Stallion Quartermane.

And him being transmasc. It was an accident. I was writing something. Like a snippet of the Old One's records about Stallion. And I misgendered Stallion via typo: I meant to write 'male' and instead wrote 'mare'. I.E., a female horse. I did not notice the typo until like MONTHS later when I went to look for that old writing. And instead of correcting it, I was like 'fuck it. He's transmasc now. Oldie was writing about Stallion's physicality as an AFAB horse or whatever' And because I myself am transmasc, I got to PROJECT shit onto Stallion now :D

So now he's two major degrees of separation different from his canon self. And there was a lot I could explore with like... his personal assimilation and him stuffing his nationality AND his genderqueerness in a closet, and how something something connecting that to how he founded the SGS whose main goal is to discover and assimilate nations into the Marleybonian empire and stuff their cultures into a storage closet or museum.

And in my AU of Wizard101, the story diverges from canon before Arc 4 can begin. Which means I have a Stallion with an intensely new and different PRESENT as well as as PAST. And he's physically incapable of going on his canon arc in Lemuria because canon is now broken, which gives him the opportunity to become a completely different character.

It's so fun. He's colonized my braincells and I've queerified his. I am normal (lie) about this old man

I am most definitely interested in hearing your thoughts! :D I really adore the heroes of Lemuria, and even if Stallion Quartermane isn't my favorite of that group, he is still the template for all of them, and I think his character is a lot of fun. I love his upbeat voice and his little catchphrase of, "To adventure!" 🥰 I also love hearing opinions about characters from people who have stronger opinions about them than me! 💖

That's so interesting about all of the Valencians being unicorns! :0 I actually didn't notice that before--or rather, I didn't make the distinction between the horse characters and the unicorn characters! The only other horses besides Quartermane that I can think of are the Golden Horde from Catmandu, at the beginning of Novus. Fascinating! Maybe he has family from both Valencia and Marleybone, or he's a Valencian who was raised in Marleybone? 🤔

That is hilarious about the male/mare typo! 😆 It's like a Freudian slip, but for uncovering the trans potential of a beloved character 💕✨ I also think it's really fun to have a trans headcanon for a character who fits into a stereotypical/gendered role. Quartermane is a rugged, dashing adventurer--but somehow, his performance is so over-the-top that it comes across as campy, almost. He reminds me a lot of Sea Hawk from the She-Ra reboot! C: They even have the same catchphrase!

That's super cool about your AU, too! I love altering things in canon to see how characters would react under different circumstances and how they might grow into different people when the story is tweaked even a little bit to the left :) I support Stallion Quartermane being trans and Italian, not just in your AU but in the canon material, as well! 🇮🇹🏳️‍⚧️

[madraleen]

Bungo Stray Dogs - Kafka Asagiri/Sango Harukawa Vol. 13: I have enough to say to make a post just for a single volume apparently - A Commentary (*anime spoilers and manga spoilers up to ch.114)

-@cover: AND I REPEAT! FYODOR, IF VILLAIN WHY SO PRETTY! also dazai-chan looks extra pretty princess, i approve. atsushi lowkey looks like he's about to fuck shit up, which i also approve. and aku-kun i approve in general.

-the colored page always takes me by surprise, it's so pretty

-OH LOOK, A DAZAI OUTLINE AMONG THE MEMBERS OF THE AGENCY! REMEMBER WHEN THAT WAS A THING?! WHEN DAZAI WAS PICTURED AMONG THE AGENCY? HA?!

-also, another thing on manga vs anime: because the timeline is so streamlined, so far the character appearances have been pretty even. there's not too much or too little of anyone, it feels just right. i wonder if that'll still stand for the s4-s5 arcs and their many side-plots. of course this feels different when you're reading month to month, i assume you start screaming in exasperation at some point over who you see and who you don’t, but in the volumes it works great

-atsushi, angry, uncomfortable: "let me go , dazai-san!" akutagawa, docile, obedient: "senpai asks, senpai gets."

-it's funny, 'cause an injured dazai technically wouldn't be able to do much if atsushi or akutagawa threw fists with him right now, yet he's holding them by the scruff like stray cats.

-oh that's such a different vibe, i feel like! dazai's "could you not go running wild? you'll open up my stomach wound," in the anime it was played as a funny moment to restrain the kids, whereas here it feels like dazai is actually serious in the comedy of the panel

-dazai: "could you not go running wild?" atsushi: *presses himself against dazai's side and by extension his wound* BUT WHY IS AKUTAGAWA-" oh atsushi i love you

-there's a certain way that harukawa-sensei draws mouths that you can practically hear the obnoxiousness of the characters' tone, especially with ranpo and dazai

-*mutters something about dazai's hands*

-dude, the panel composition is beautiful idk. very dynamic

-"it's no wonder dazai-san chose to abandon you and disappear!" omfg atsushi. also yes bitch, slay, but omfg you ruthless little man-tiger.

-atsushi ain't having anyone's shit. everyone around him is deranged, foe and ally alike, and he's gonna react via expression or call them out for it, i love that about him. he's such a rich character, because yes he's been abused and he's traumatized and has low self-esteem, no self-worth and so on, but goddamn he ain't gonna stand there and take all this insanity

-"hellhound" akutagawa, dogs, mafia dogs, agency cats, i'm still on that.

-"what are you, a lawn mower!? dazai-san left you because all you think about is chopping up the enemy!" AHAHAHA ATSUSHI PLEASE!

-"I'LL TURN YOU INTO A TIGER-SKIN RUG" - AKU-KUN, PLEASE! atsushi and aku-kun have upped their bickering game, good for them

-like in the anime, aku-kun isn't coughing anymore so i'll just go ahead and assume his lung disease has flare-ups that come and go (or is affected by certain environments, eg the sea)

-babe. atsushi. my love. not only dazai-san trusts you, but EVEN AKU-KUN ACKNOWLEDGES AND SAYS OUT LOUD THAT DAZAI-SAN "PUTS A LOT OF TRUST IN YOU"! that's like almost too much trust in layman's terms

-"bamboo shoots come from bamboo, so mushrooms come from mush" oh god, that's something *i* would say

-oh actual rat members, great, thank you.

-akutagawa went from "wha-!?" to "how do i steer that thing" in a heartbeat when riding on atsushi, i love him. they're hilarious, bsd is so entertaining

-i imagine the creative conundrum, "how exactly do we position akutagawa so that he can ride on atshushi's back"

-ATSUSHI'S AND AKU-KUN'S COLOR PATTERNS ARE SO COMPLEMENTARY I CANNOT

-dude seriously though, the panel composition. it's beautiful.

-i mean, the kids are big-braining it. they're not five-braining it like the geniuses, but they're big-braining it alright

-lol, dazai-san is so shocked that the climber's not dostoyevsky that his eye veins popped out, good good

-"far crueler than my own mentor," akutagawa's "own mentor" being dazai? then yes, orphanage director is far crueler.

-lemme make an interlude here, 'cause i'm still on my dazai and the nurse bullshit. i just keep thinking that if you don't interpret it as another "actually, dazai didn't do that" moment in the long line of "dazai didn't do to that woman what you think he did" gags, and you actually interpret it as dazai fucked/sexually pleasured the nurse in order to get his phone and continue with business, it's one of the subtly darkest, saddest moments, because he probably learned that in the mafia, and he employs that tactic while physically in pain, to a literal stranger, and then goes on with business completely unbothered because he doesn't give a fuck about the nurse, his physical discomfort or his own body in general, and only used himself as a tool so that he can continue operations, STILL uses himself as a tool even though no one wants that of him now (not like this), and that's just so sad and fucked up.

-"most people are unaware that the tiger's claws can tear through skills themselves" aku-kun is pleased that he knows this

-no seriously,  mori-san is so much prettier in the manga. like wth, sometimes he's serving looks

-your master cut out the parts of your brain that feel unhappiness?! WTF IS FYODOR'S SKILL

-ahaha, dazai contacted francis, later atsushi contacts francis... like senpai like kouhai

-interesting. dazai yells "don't touch him" FIRST, and then fyodor kills the man, so it could very well be that he only does it to mislead dazai that touch is necessary for his skill, to play right into his false(?) guess.

-well yeah, dazai is conflicted because he doesn't know fyodor's skill, therefore lacks very important information, ACTUALLY miscalculated fyodor's moves until the very end (as did ranpo), and fyodor just let himself get arrested without any real fuss, which is sus. dazai's at a major disadvantage information-wise and he knows this ain't over (it's never over. it's never ever ever over, never ev-). but it's sweet that it's atsushi that notices this in a scene where it's just the two of them. idk, the fact that it's atsushi and that he doesn't really dwell on it, just reinforces how human dazai is in atsushi's eyes. to everyone else, it'd be a "!" moment. atsushi just notices it, as a fact.

-it feels like in dazai's eyes, atsushi is at his core all that is good and pure and righteous and shiny. the oda vibe in its purest form, never wavering, never tarnished.

-LOUISA IS ONLY 18?!

-"WHO GIVES A CRAP ABOUT YOUR INNER DRAMA!?" AHAHA RANPO-SAN <3 if that ain't the essence of bsd, i don't know what is.

-this ain't no rivalry, dear poe, you're just ranpo-kun's bitch. it's alright, we understand

-this "the conjurer" that they refer to fyodor as is the anime's "majin"? demon fyodor?

-i forget, DO we know the real reason fyodor let them capture him? we know why fukuchi wanted him imprisoned, but fyodor himself?

-ahahaha kunikida makes glasses with his skill and dazai knows and can nullify them? AHAHAHAHAAH that's cute

[schmergo]

As you might have gathered from some of the statuses I've posted this past week, I'd been re-watching the 2006 BBC Jane Eyre miniseries in honor of Valentine's Day (no, I will not accept criticisms), and although this is still probably my favorite adaptation of the book, can I just say, CAN WE PLEASE EVER GET A VERSION OF JANE EYRE WHERE BOTH OF THE TWO LEADS ARE NOT CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE???

The book keeps going on and on about, "Oh, Mr. Rochester is not handsome, he kinda looks like a Sasquatch, but I'm into that, IDK" and "No rich gentleman would ever want to marry me because I'm so plain and unattractive, not even one who looks like a Sasquatch." There are some pretty intense digs at both characters' looks in the book and they kept them in the miniseries without changing them, and it almost felt like I was in an alternate dimension with the same beauty standards as that one Twilight Zone episode. You know the one.

True, Ruth Wilson is a little bit of an unconventional beauty (and, I must say, fantastic in the role), but she's still played Hedda Gabler. Nobody who has EVER played Hedda Gabler can be expected to say lines with a straight face like, "Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless?" In the scene where she draws contrasting portraits of herself and the hot lady she thinks Rochester wants to marry, it's almost confusing because it's just, like, two lovely portraits of pretty women. It feels like that SNL skit where the hosts are like, "Who wore it better? THEY BOTH LOOK NICE!!!!" Like, yeah, Jane wears ugly gray dresses and severe hairstyles and she doesn't have 'Hollywood' teeth, but she also has a SNAAAATCHED waist, beautiful eyes, and a flawless complexion. She pulls off the no-makeup makeup look in a way that instagram skincare influencers could only dream of. If 2006 Ruth Wilson went back in time to the 1830's, men would have fits of apoplexy falling over each other proposing to her.

So yeah, I would say they made Ruth Wilson, like, "Hollywood homely" for the movie, but Toby Stephens as Mr. Rochester was just... laughable. I don't say that to insult him! It's not his fault he's not ugly! He did a great job! I very much enjoyed his performance and I actually think they styled him perfectly for the role-- which is quite a feat, given that he's got ginger hair and blue eyes in real life, not what you'd expect out of a guy who's the stereotypical dark, brooding type. But OH MY GOSH. Dude has the slightly rugged but still classically symmetrical look of a male model who has a bit of sun damage from spending too much time picking up babes on the beach. If Toby Stephens' version of Rochester is supposed to be ugly, the rest of us are doomed. The rest of us are basically crusty limpets on a dehydrated desolate rock if he's ugly. 

When Jane's having a conversation with him early in the miniseries, she's kinda staring at him, trying to figure him out because he's kind of weird and unpredictable, and he says sarcastically, "Oh, do you think me handsome?" and she blurts out, "No sir." And he's like, "What if I told you I have 20,000 pounds a year? Would I then become handsome?" and she savagely says something along the lines of, "I don't think anything in science would allow that, sir."

My favorite line in the whole darn book is after he's badly injured in a horrible accident near the end (won't spoil what happens for those of you who don't know the ending; I didn't know the ending the first time I read the book and it GOT ME GOOD) and he says, "Am I hideous, Jane?" And she says, "Very, sir. You always were, you know." It's HILARIOUS because it's not at all what you'd expect from someone who's frankly having a very emotional reunion with the person she loves who has experienced a life-altering tragedy. But in the miniseries, it was hilarious in a very different way because... dude looks great. Dashing, even. 

My friend joked that his appearance after getting injured was basically the treatment they gave to Gerard Butler in Phantom of the Opera, but honestly, it was even more pathetic. He had some very faint scarring around one cheek bone/eye socket that I didn't even notice at first and a contact lens that made one pupil look sort of oversized and oblong-shaped, giving him kinda a David Bowie vibe, and he had a bandage wrapped around his hand. If you saw your boyfriend looking like that, you might think he got in a moderate car accident and had a sprained wrist and a bit of a concussion. I'd think that if you already had a very handsome Rochester cast, you wouldn't be afraid he'd be too ugly for the screen if he actually looked seriously injured, but nooooooo.

 Again, not to spoil what injured him, but he was lucky to have escaped with his life. In the book, he had one eye knocked out and was temporarily blinded in the other, and one of his hands was amputated entirely, as well as having some minor burns on his forehead and eyebrows. They could at least have given him an eyepatch instead of just having him squint a little. Oh, and supposedly, his hair was supposed to be really overgrown and unkempt and tangled because nobody was looking after it, and they kept the part in the miniseries where Jane is like, "Oh my gosh, let me comb your hair, it's a mess," but... his hair looked great? Certainly better than mine ever has. 

On a less goofy note, I think Jane Eyre has a bit of a special significance for most of us who grew up feeling like we were too ugly to see ourselves in Disney princess movies or rom-coms or, heck, Jane Austen novels. As messed-up as that book is (I love it, though), it felt like the first time I ever saw a woman who wasn't conventionally attractive actually experience romantic feelings and have them returned. Before I read Jane Eyre, I was only capable of seeing myself in comic relief characters and villains and ugly dude characters whose storylines aren't defined by romance. The first time I read the book, I didn't really 'get it'-- I think I wasn't mature enough yet in 8th grade-- but I remember when I had my first real, serious crush a year or so later, I thought, "I think I'm ready to read Jane Eyre again," and wow, did it pack a punch. 

The book totally nails how it feels to develop feelings for another person for the first time when you never really saw yourself as the type of person who gets into relationships. It also captures how it feels to be drawn to another person and become so fond of and appreciative of their features because they're theirs, even if they don't initially seem to be society's ideal of beauty. (Most young teens are still in an awkward phase and growing into ourselves. Our first romantic interests don't usually look like Hollywood stars, and nor do we.) It felt like there was something real in Jane Eyre that I hadn't yet seen in other books with romance plot lines, even though there are so many wildly improbable and bizarre and awful elements of that story that would and should NEVER happen today.

It would be great to see an adaptation of Jane Eyre that keeps that vibe in mind. We've had a few where Rochester isn't your typical leading man, but it seems like in those cases, they cast an even more than usually beautiful Jane to compensate. It might be a bit of a tough sell to hold a casting call: "ARE YA UGLY BUT STILL HAVE THAT CERTAIN SOMETHING THAT MAKES PEOPLE GO, 'HOOO, THEY'RE NOT MY USUAL TYPE BUT I'M KINDA INTO IT????' Step right up!" But let me tell ya, it sure feels weird to watch a screen adaptation of the only 'ugly people in love' story I'd ever experienced other than DANG SHREK as a young person, at a much more self-confident and mature place with regards to your appearance than you were back then, and be like, "Wow, I'd never even be considered for this role because I'm still too homely to play the homely romantic lead!"

[paintedkinzy-88]

Dragon balance

Okay. But. Killer stealing the tootsies. And no one feeling bad (besides nightmare..... kinda....) that killer got a face full of smoky smog from a startled nightmare. Killer is more shocked that nightmare was dozing than from the smoke. ..... nightmare probably gets more exhausted as a dragon, with the new things to mentally be aware of, the physical/magic exhaustion, and the fact that he probably takes a long while to get comfortable or even find out how to get comfortable. I bet nightmare dozes more often as a dragon.

.... I bet killer pesters nightmare to try doing smoke rings.

Noot does a loaf.... and might just need to be moved around to get a good nap in. The boys are used to pulling him from his desk when he falls asleep there... it's just a bit trickier if there's a passed out dragon on the rug.

Since nightmare is using so much energy with the out of control smoke, would horror insist on feeding him more? Or like, trying to bake a whole ham just for Nightmare? (Even if Nightmare doesn't really need it... and his jaws aren't made for table manners.)

Now I can't help but think of all the dragons if they loaf. Noot being the most likely to loaf, as ink and Dream are prone to ragdoll spreading out. Maybe life is the next likely to loaf. Error seems more likely to be a donut or croissant with Ink as the donut hole (or brooding. There's that, too). And Reaper... almost gives off a vibe of lounging. ..... ink would be the dragon to sploot. But it would be hilarious if Nightmare ended up splooting from not knowing how to handle his limbs.

Above is what is known as "splooting". A behavior associated with temperature regulation, stretching them flexible legs, or just comfy.

Killer just asking for trouble 90% of the time. I love the idea of him trying to get Night to make smoke rings tho lmfao. Idk how well it would work with that snoot but he probably tried outta boredom eventually. And Night’s definitely a little more fatigued than normal! Not only is this a little overwhelming, but allll that magic is just being poofed out constantly. He really does need to figure out how to stop it. But until then, lazing around isn’t too much of an issue, and everyone’s fine with pampering him a bit. As if they hadn’t been doing so in the first place.

Honestly, Horror probably saw big drago and thought that requires way more food than normal. It’s a little stressing at first, but he likely just starts hunting some on top of their usual grocery shopping. Anything not used just goes to the freezer anyway so it doesn’t change too much.

Dbakdnksnfksn you’re pretty on the money there. XD Error and Reaper are less likely to loaf — Error prefers laying on his side or curled up like a donut and Reaper tends to float and just role onto his back all cat like. Life also curls up a lot of the time for napping purposes, but tends to loaf when just chillin. Ink and Dream fuckin sprawl out and wiggle around into whatever is most comfortable at the time so anything’s on the table for them. I imagine a lot of the dragonets would sploot alongside Ink or, occasionally, Noots. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Which, btw, thank you for providing the definition and explanation for what my puppy nephew does lmfao XD

[kindred-spirit-93]

ah right yes my bad. my diamond fortified memory at it again (med school will be the death of me XD)

also i forgot that theres a hierarchy of sorts to the industry so even with good paying clients luc would still be struggling :(

WAIT WAIT BABY MAMA DRAMA?! theos mum got a sudden change of hear or wut? anyway we stan a single dad who kills for his theo <3 but seriously, theo was dropped at i assume his abusive exs house and then luc left, howd the bitch find them? IS SHE THE ASSASSIN? im joking XD

nooooooooooooo not the friend dying! what has this child done? were they a kid of a client or something? collateral damage? did luc specifically have it out for him for 'stealing' his dove and keeping him out of the nest?? also what oath did they take? empire related or a friendship promise thing? ah my baby how could u sunny?

the suicide pact goes hard ngl. i really love the concept of "hey this apartment looks awful with the blood and God knows what else smeared all over every surface and is no place to live let alone raise a child, but you know what would make this better? pancakes."

as in the world is caving in from every side, (im guessing clients come over not the other way around idk) but its in some ways, still their home. where theo walked his first and drew on the walls (and nearly got himslef killed playing with the washing detergent. no i dont speak form experience)

------

okokok idea: its the aftermath of mama dove going absolutely feral, theyve temporarily moved into a smaller place after the break in from theos mother and lucs increasing paranoia. or maybe theyre on the run bc the scene was semi public idk just roll w me here

its a quiant little place in the outskirts of the city, belonged to an old couple (bonus if said couple are a. on holiday and the duo broke in, or b. they were killed and now luc has access to the place) and its the homiest place theyve seen. it was so cosy and inviting it was almost unnerving; rugs everywhere, soft wallpaper, no lingering smell of sweat and bleach and dirt, but instead of flowers and baked goods.

wiping his nose on his bloodied sleeve, luc puts the gun on the mantlepiece and goes to the kitchen to fix something for them. something sweet he thinks for his dove. sugar after a shock was nothing more than a wives tale but it was all he could think of. his eyes rest on some pancake mix.

losing a friend and witnessing murder was not something he wanted for his precious boy. he deserved a better life, a stabler home, a dad who could be there for him *angsty pancake making intensifies* while theo, still high from the shock, starts to consider his options.

the meal was uneventful. awkward almost. what do you say to your dad who brutally killed someone infront of you? what do you say to your child after being the sole reason their only friend was killed?

they talk eventually. something about the pancakes being too sweet. luc snorts and goes to clean the dishes. theo makes his way to the fireplace, registering the weight of the gun in his hand, holding it the way hed seen his own father many a time before. ignoring the gnawing ache of his instincts screaming at him to not do this.

luc doesnt see it coming, which theo is glad for. he didnt think hed like to see the look on his face when he turned and was met with a muzzle of a gun aimed at his head. the light leaving in his eyes would have been too much.

as luc lies there in his blood, confused as to why his dove, his gift, his life and his light, was sobbing next to him. he apologises for maybe the first time in his life for not being a better dad (or even better he cries a bit to parallel his tears when theo was born), and tells theo that he was the best thing to ever happen to him, and how much he love him. how proud of him and the science project he missed last week...

and then he dies. or he doesnt and its hilarious. like: dad no im sorry dont go please! IM TRYING TO REST BE QUIET. *beauty sleep joke*

also yes please luc romance (platonic if im pushing my luck) where he can drop his guard finally. unless the whole point is mysterious murdery enemies with benefits lol.

------

alternate ending theo shoots himself and dies nearly instantly. or luc kinda stand there, not really putting 2 and 2 together till he calls out to him one last time then proceeds to peace out.

cue montage of their best moments and the unspoken love and all the feels and replaying their last conversation (theos last words were abt the pancakes being too sweet) and he cant cry from the shock so he just screams till his throat is raw.

holding his dead sons body close to himself, wracked with grief and a. goes on a murderous rampage achilles style (and being killed by da police later) or b. kills himself too.

-------------

bonus bonus the old couple nearly get a heart attack opening the door and finding two people dead (and probably decaying) in their living room (on marge's carpet no less).

THE END I NEED SLEEP I IS TIRED

Have some more of the traumatized dumbass (y’all are going to have an aneurysm tryna read the text lmao I do recommend zooming in that helps) and with more art comes more lore. -Luc was staying with an abusive guy until the baby arrived at his doorstep. After seeing the child he finally found enough courage to run -he gets shot a lot. It’s kind of wild honestly. He had like, what? A solid 8 bullet scars now? It’s a miracle he’s alive. -his own kid once had to remove a bullet lodged in his back (that by some miracle above) didn’t permanently damage him. Trauma +1 -he calls his kid “little dove” -his kid does love him. Is their relationship basically dust now? Sorta. Does his son keep on wishing he died from on of the bullets? Yeah. There’s a whole lot of shit, but they do love each other. They’re all the other has, anyways. (There’s also the fact that if they act like they hate eachother, people wouldn’t target Luc’s son) -after Theo (his kid) shoots him, he literally smiles and goes “I’m glad you can be safe of your own now” Theo cries begging him not to die (whether he does or doesn’t hasn’t been decided). In the end Theo is still just a little boy clinging onto his father’s fingers.