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lizacstuff · 4 years ago

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SCK Asks: Episode 38

(asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: happy edser just HITS different. maybe it's because we've been so deprived of them together and blissful, it's such a joy to watch. i had a silly grin on my face during all their scenes. sure the tumor cloud is looming over our heads, but this episode only laid the foundation for that and then went into romcom mode, which i really appreciated because we've been bogged down for SO LONG with heaviness, it was nice to just take a breather.

OMG! Yes, all of this. And I’m not sure if it’s happy Edser that hits different, or if it was whatever magic and sparkle these writers injected into this episode that made it hit different.

The magic was BACK. The sparkle was BACK. These writers took the most ridiculous scenario idea (these two famous architects deciding to solve a murder) and just made it sing. I grinned through the whole thing and laughed out loud, A LOT.

This was the first episode in ages where I wasn’t watching the clock and waiting for some uncomfortable or unpleasant moment or scene to occur. Instead watching was pure joy and no anxiety, even with a tumor diagnosis.

There was so much good Edser in this episode it’s hard to know what to talk about. I loved every moment they were on screen together.

Anonymous said: I have to hand it to you, you said that the reason they were doing this pregnancy story is so that we could find out that Selin and Serkan never slept together. ngl I wanted her to suffer more, but as long as she’s gone I’m fine with her punishment being the humiliation of having to admit that in front of Eda.

Ha! Yes, I have said that all along, and I’ve never been more relieved to be right. They really went the extra mile with having Selin spell out that it hadn’t happened. With the English subs it almost sounded like they had never, ever had sex, even before. If so, I could actually believe it, their prior relationship seemed to be very business like, like they were each other’s safe, convenient date to business and family functions, and it wasn’t emotional or physical for him.

After the gross story around Selin, and how much damage she did and how much she got away with, this was not nearly enough comeuppance to sate my thirst for her pain. These writers started this story and introduced Selin’s role in it, so it’s not like they 100% inherited something they had nothing to do with. However, between Bige’s limited availability due to her father passing, Sarp Can having covid, and the way the other writers drug it into the ground, I’m also just happy it’s over and will deal with this being all we get, plus, while she didn’t get punished adequately, she did take her lumps. It’s humiliating that Serkan went around acting incredulous to everyone who would listen that she could be pregnant because he never touched her, even while she was his fiancé. I mean that’s a shrinker. Can you imagine agreeing to marry a man who you knew didn’t want to touch you? Everyone now knows her sad, pathetic desperation to have him under any circumstances. Yikes.

And as you say, she then had to stand in front of Eda and Serkan and admit he didn’t touch her. Admit that Serkan never wanted her, and it’s humiliating that everyone at Art Life knows what she did and thinks she’s a monster. Serkan finally knows she’s an awful manipulator who tried to trick him, and in the end she gets an unplanned pregnancy with a man who doesn’t love her and whom she doesn’t love. So it’s not like she’s winning by any stretch of the imagination.

(Though I really wish everyone knew (mostly Serkan and Eda) that she sabotaged Eda’s presentation. It’s important for the characters to know that she can’t be trusted professionally as well as personally... but oh well.)

Anonymous said: Two things: 1) I kinda love it even more that they got the tattoos before he found about the illness.. idk why but it was even MORE romantic. Also does this mean they're kinda sorta engaged again since the reason she said no in the first place was Selin? and 2) I need more of that "ring for love" bell ASAP. My jaw actually dropped when he lifted her up since we were deprived of it in 26.. please more breaking of family structures!!

Oh I agree, I found it very romantic they went and got the tattoos and the only impetus was their desire to have a symbol of their love. I already love those tattoos so much, and I love that they sat their designing them together. They really do signify the ultimate commitment.

I’m not sure if they’re engaged or not. Maybe they’re in a place where it’s obvious they’re going to get married, they both know they’re going to get married, but we’re still going to get one more proposal to make it official?

As for the ring for love bell, when and where did he get that!? Hee. And yes to more breaking of the Turkish family structure. That lift and twirl through the living room was... HOT. And it was just so effortless, there are just no words at times for how good Hande and Kerem are, I’ve really never seen anything like it. They don’t really have time to rehearse on set, or limitless takes or the time to really block and perfect things, but they’re just so good together they make magic happen every time they’re on screen. Amazing. Enjoy this kids, because you probably won’t see anything like it again.

Anonymous said: With the nature of these shows, Eda and Serkan will not a blissful happily ever after without something hanging over there heads or some new drama until the show actually ends. So if the new angst is Serkan's potential illness, I'm down for the potential angst it'll create.. it's already a good sign that, although he hasn't told her about it yet, he's not pushing her away in fear, but instead the opposite. I also don't think, and really hope not, him keeping it secret rn won't cause trouble.

Yes, I like that even with that heavy health news hanging over the episode, it was still light and funny and romantic and had that old sparkle. That tells me that they’re going to strike the right tone with this story which seems to be a very carpe diem thing with Serkan.

It didn’t bother me that he didn’t tell her. First, he told the doctor that he didn’t want anyone to know until he had a diagnosis. That makes sense, why worry her, or any of them, before they know. I’m sure I would feel different if he was pushing her away because of the diagnosis, but since he’s holding her close and just seems to want to spend time with her, without that heaviness hanging over her head, I’m okay with it.

Also, as seen in the new fragman, if this story is an excuse to get them out of the office and put them in all sorts of scenarios together it would otherwise be hard to justify, bring it on. Let’s see how far down the list of things to do they can get!

Anonymous said: i know no one reaaaally cares because they're not most people's favorite side characters, but it's really much nicer to watch aydan and ayfer scenes now that they're both on "team edser" and have become really good friends. i swear, the AAA trio scenes were so unbearable to watch when they were fighting over him and i was fast forwarding through all of them.. at least i can sit through team "united" aydan/ayfer scenes.

They’re actually enjoyable scenes now! I love that they’ve become actual true friends, best friends really, and along with Seyfi I love their little trio. Love that Seyfi and Ayfer were being so supportive about Aydan rekindling something with Kemal. And I agree that we can root for them when they’re working for Edser’s well-being and happiness. I just hope Aydan doesn’t do something stupid if there begins to be some question about Serkan’s parentage.

Anonymous said: the scooby doo gang ending had me laughing so hard i was tearing up when more and more people kept sneaking in and eda and serkan were getting more and more exasperated. erdem accidentally using flash took me tf out lmao. i love when sck does comedy with the whole cast and not just the usual "comedy" characters.. they're some of my favorite scenes! both "asking for the girl" scenes come to mind.

You could see Erdem using the flash coming from a mile away, but that still didn’t blunt the comedy when he actually did it. So funny. Also Engin not recognizing Eda, imagine him thinking Serkan is there with some rando woman. I also love the full cast comedy scenes, they are so much fun and really should be utilized as often as possible.

The scene where Edser walk back into the house and Aydan and Kemal were there paying their respects had me screech-laughing! So so so funny. Both sides being incredulous that the other was there and wanting answers! I also enjoyed that Serkan obviously put Erdem in charge of Kemal’s project, because he wants that project to go away. Unfortunately for Serkan, I think it’s going to take more than Erdem to drive Kemal away.

Anonymous said: Everyone is saying serkan planned the whole thing, do you buy into that? Idk would he really put everyone in a gunpoint situation where they don’t know it’s fake? Cause that’s some potentially trauma inducing stuff. Also I have no idea where they’re going with this, since it’s been a 4 day break from set which is kind of worrying. And do you know why Melisa wasn’t in the ep? I know Sarp can got Covid but wasn’t Melisa posting with cast members on her story throughout the week?

Wow, this is a lot of negative energy and fretting after a really good episode. Deep breath. Since you sent this, we know that Hande and Kerem have been shooting for 2 full days at a romantic looking beach location for 39, so it looks like Edser has some sort of mini-getaway. I don’t see any reason to be concerned about the 4 day break last week. (now the fragman’s out, hopefully that puts your mind at ease)

No idea why Melissa wasn’t in the ep, other than the way the ep was structured with the supporting characters, if she had to miss the ArtLife shooting day then I can see that they would have had to write her out of the full episode, because most of their scenes were there and it set up everything for the rest of the episode. So perhaps she was in quarantine for a Covid exposure, maybe she was legit sick/injured (she has had a foot thing) or maybe she had a conflict for that one shooting day. No idea, but I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. Also her absence gave us Ferit/Melo scenes and I’m 100% behind that, give us more of those!

As far as if Serkan planned the whole thing, he did look pretty smug and relaxed while sitting there at the end, but he also wasn’t planning for the whole group to tag along and make a mess, lmao. We’ll have to see.

Anonymous said: Do you think bad ratings makes sck in danger of being cancelled or do you think high social media engagement keeps it safe?

Friends, I don’t know anything about the Turkish system, but it seems to me that SCK will either go through May or extend into summer and end then, regardless of the ratings. We shall see. As I’ve said before I’m not going to engage in the fretting and worrying and discussion on this topic because no fan really knows what they’re talking about and there is nothing we can do to change what will happen. So just enjoy the show while we can, the news on when it will end will come when it comes.

#Sen Çal Kapımı #Sen Cal kapimi #edser #sck episode discussion #sckask #sck 1x38 #asklizac #anonymous

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eueden · 4 years ago

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⟨ MAUDE APATOW. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, EDEN KOPPELMAN is actually a descendent of H E S T I A. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-THREE year old VETERINARY from CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite THOUGHTFUL & QUIXOTIC.

hi, hello, allô, hola, ciao, ella here again with another character. okay so there’s not much to say about me that most of you don’t already know, i have no life and i’m always lurking even if i never do replies (don’t tell the admins) hgsghssghs anyway, this is eden and in a shocking turn of events i actually have a good idea of who she is and look i even made a graphic, if that’s ain’t dedication then i don’t what it is.

basic information.

NAME: eden atara koppelman

PRONUNCIATION: EE - d uh n

NICKNAME: E?? idk

GENDER: cis female

PLACE OF BIRTH: brisbane, queensland, australia

HOMETOWN: cape town, south africa

DATE OF BIRTH: june 26, 1997

AGE: twenty-three

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual so far but secretly curious

MAJOR: veterinary

EXTRACURRICULARS: president of the jewish student association, vice president of the herpetology club, president of the volunteer service, women in leadership member, student government member

SPORTS: captain of the climbing team and co-captain of the track & field team

character inspo.

Jessica Day (New Girl) ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖

Elliott Reid (Scrubs) ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖

Amy Santiago (Brooklyn 99) ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖

background.

tw: death, infant death, car accident, fire

Eden was born in Brisbane, Australia. She comes from an animal lover family. Her grandparents are very popular down under because they had an animal TV show à la Steve Irwin. Her dad followed their footsteps and it’s a well-known zoologist who also had some TV shows (think of Bear Grylls).

TW: death, infant death, car accident. Matthias Koppelman (her dad) had been previously married but lost his wife and child in a car accident and after that he isolated himself from the public eye and moved to Namibia.

At twenty-eight, he felt the need to climb Mount Everest as one does, ya know? But ofc this man hadn’t climbed in years (he had experience but he’d been too sad to climb mountains. I mean he could barely leave bed, let alone climb Everest). That didn’t stop him and he did.

He almost d worded there bc as I said he was not ready but that’s when Hestia queen of fire showed up and warmed him (in a non sexual way bc she’s pure okay) and he was like oh that was a near dead experience and didn’t think much.

After he conquered the Everest with the help of Hestia, he moved back to Australia and oh surprise a few months later he opened his door and voilá a bebé was there with a note that said “you deserve to have a family, love hestia”

He was shocked like “did i just impregnate a fantasy?” but then Hestia was kind enough to send another and explain everything.

Anyway, Eden lived in Brisbane for four years before her dad took a job in South Africa. They moved to Cape Town (and her grandparents came with them) and pretty much had a happy life surrounded by animals.

TW: fire. When she was nine, her dad took her to a game reserve in Limpopo and by some reason a fire started endangering animals and flora. Everyone was panicking bc I mean wouldn’t u? But Eden was attracted to the flames like a pyro (the good kind tho) and since everyone had better things to do than taking care of a child, they left her unsupervised and she delved into the fire.

Ofc nothing happened to her because ✨immunity✨ but guess who showed up again? Hestia!!!! Being a great goddess and mom, she taught Eden how to use her powers so she could absorb the fire and save all the animals and people.

Everyone was like holy shit a miracle and the firefighters were like “the fuck? we did shit but we gonna take the credit lol”

Eden was like “did that just happen?” and yes, it did but she was like “meh that was imagination” and her dad was like *nervous chuckle* “yeah…” because he didn’t want to tell her the truth since that could put her in danger.

At 13, she had her bat mitzvah and it was all fun and games until fire lady showed up aka Hestia. Her dad and Hestia explained everything and Eden was like:

Hestia claimed her and off to camp she went. For the next few years she went to camps all over the world as a treat.

She never went on a quest bc she was afraid and also because she couldn’t put herself in danger and risk losing her life bc her dad already had lost a child… so yeah

Her dad remarried when she was seventeen and a year later she welcomed a new baby brother and that’s why she decided to take a gap year to be with her bro and also work with her dad in the reserves.

She moved to Athens when she was nineteen and decided to go into veterinary school. So yes Ella will get her dog one way or another idc what the admins say :chaos:

Ahhhh that’s all folks!!! We did it!

FULL BIO (yes, i completed it this time)

personality.

Eden never loses her sense of curiosity. You could say that she sees life through rose colored glasses as if she lived on the edge of a mirror country where worldly objects come to life, where flora and fauna assume almost human qualities.

She has the ability to see the good in almost anyone or anything and tends to sympathize with even the most unfriendly person. She often hides the extreme depth of feelings from her, even from herself, until circumstances elicit a passionate response.

She has a deep sense of idealism that comes from a strong personal sense of right and wrong. She sees the world as a place full of possibilities and potentials and is governed by her intuition. She is quite reserved and is not easily manipulated.

She is a good listener and considerate, they try to care for and understand others in a deep way. She can be very calm and intuitive with the people around her, being able to search for hidden meanings in the actions and words of others.

Of course, all of life is not rosy and Eden is not exempt from suffering the same disappointments and frustrations that are common to others. She tends to be a perfectionist and often strives for personal ideals that can be exhausting or very difficult to obtain.

She also struggles with time management, always leaving everything to the last minute claiming she “works better under pressure” but the truth is she’s just a procrastinator.

Very sensible, she cries almost every day either because of a commercial or a sweet story she read on Facebook. It doesn’t matter, if it’s slightly emotional she will shed some tears.

powers.

pyrokinesis: This power first manifested when she was nine years old and she helped to save an animal reserve from the flames with the help of Hestia. Since she was claimed when she was thirteen, she’s learned how to use this power. Now she can summon fire without any problem and put it out just as fast. This is very helpful because she loves baking but she’s a bit clumsy so she often burns herself, but thankfully, she’s immune, so no pain. However, Eden has never been able to create a hot wall of flames nor she has ever asked how to do that, she just hopes she never has to use it.

serenity inducement: Eden avoids conflict at all cost, not only it makes her cry but also makes her very uncomfortable and anxious which is why this was the first power she manifested. She was just a child but from what she remembers it was during a class in preschool that a kid started hitting another one. Eden panicked at such an act of violence she went there and touched the bully’s shoulder which immediately calmed him. Back then she didn’t know it was a power but after finding out about her true identity, many other events like this started to make sense. This is the power she uses the most, also with animals which is why she makes such a good veterinarian because she can calm an animal's nerves.

bond manipulation: She wouldn’t say this is one of her weakest powers but it’s one she didn’t use often growing up because she came from such a stable family that it didn’t seem necessary, however, she sometimes catches herself using it in group projects or at her workplace, you know, to keep things healthy and positive.

ability to summon food: By far the one she uses the least (personally speaking), she likes cooking and baking, so she doesn’t see the point but she does use it to feed stray animals.

headcanons.

Eden speaks fluent English, she has a mixed South African and Australian accent but she can switch. At school, half of her classes were in Afrikaans, so she also speaks it fluently. Greek comes from her demigod side, but she also took some classes back in school upon her father’s request. Growing up in a very Jewish family, her grandparents believed it was pretty important that Eden learned Yiddish and Hebrew, she can read it perfectly but struggles speaking it, especially Yiddish because she also attended Hebrew school. As for French, she learned in high school and she still takes lessons at Eonia but she hates it.

Her father started taking her to a climbing gym when she was five and by the time she was ten she was already climbing 6a routes which is pretty much an intermediate level and very impressive for her age.

She had her own TV show on Discover Kids titled “Eden’s Wildlife Adventure” in which she explained the importance of different types of animals. The first seasons were shot between Australia and South Africa, but in later seasons she traveled across Africa and South America. The show ran from 2005-2011 (which was when she was claimed).

Dreams of climbing Mount Everest before her 30th birthday.

Her father is a classic rock band and so is she. Her animals have been named after influential musicians. Right now she has a cat named Hendrix, a horse named Cobain, a dog named Mick. Growing up her father took care of a baby lion which they named Little Richard because he was smaller than most lion cubs. Over the years, his father and grandparents have fostered several wild animals while they recover or before they are sent to a reserve. Among the animals they have fostered are elephants, giraffes, zebras, cheetahs, leopards, hippos and more.

While she loves rock, she’s also a sucker for 2000s pop. Please don’t ask her about modern artists because she’s clueless.

She’s fed up with the Mean Girl jokes, we get it she grew up in Africa and she’s white.

She is a proud Jewish girl and follows many traditions. She does attend the local synagogue during Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah. And of course, Hanukkah is her favorite holiday. Her family practices Reform Judaism, so she doesn’t follow a kosher diet.

Eden was raised as a vegan and her whole family is vegan. In the past years, she has been in the process of becoming vegetarian.

Favorites: Anything written by Agatha Christie(book); Say Anything (1989) (movie); Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fear (song);

Again, no one asked me but I will reply: “Ella, does Eden hate Iker?” “Well, thanks for asking. In a shocking turn of events, no she doesn’t. How come you might ask? Well, she doesn’t hate anyone but if she ever did then yes, she would hate him.”

pinterest | wanted connections

#euintro

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origami10 · 5 years ago

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Thoughts from Ajin ch. 75.5/76

Spoilers under the cut! More ramblings again this month.

Maybe there are two chapters because they had the whole chapter last time, but decided it would be more of a cliffhanger to cut it in the middle? Or maybe it was almost but not quite done?? Or too much physics? Lol

社会性　しゃかいせい　sociality I feel like this line is particularly important given past chapters oh lmao especially since the next panel talks about feelings

I really wonder where this is going… it seems so right for Ajin, but also so much sappier than what makes it to the surface of the story

THANK GOD we finally got an answer for if everyone has the ‘material’ necessary to make an IBM

Oh my god this is unbelievably sappy Wow Ogura’s crying too

Oh so it’s 彼 huh what is this, a seinen manga?

引き起こす　ひきおこす　1. to cause; to induce; to bring about; to provoke　2. to pull upright; to help up (e.g. a fallen person) ASFDJKL; what a sweet (?) way to think of them?

Oh man Obama helicopter please now of all times

Oh man oh man this better not be the last chapters, I hate this feeling

Fuck no if Satou gets away on this day of all days

Hahahahahaha did Ogura make everything up o_o Sakurai I hate you

Ah not the ‘life is meaningless’ thing again sigh/sob

Having trouble understanding this part but I think I know where he’s going god Ogura augh

Please please please see something good on the next page AH YES EXCELLENT who was it that wrote about the ‘hands reaching out’ thing

Ahhh this would have been a really good place to end! How did we get blessed with two chapters at once??

OF COURSE it’s called DIEHARDS ugh Sakurai and his references

oh, that’s an encouraging tag line!! Tanaka and Izumi too??

ok I'm picking up for the second chapter (76) about two days after I read the first chapter

wow they got really high up there on that helicopter

They know how many more times they can make an IBM ahead of time? They don't just suddenly find that they're out?

Awwww Kuro is a she!

You're really telling me I should believe that KEI is hanging on with ONE HAND He's either insanely desperate (probably) or trained a lot (I guess possible)

Wow, last chance And Satou's like "It's okay, I'm done with the game, now you don't have to try so hard!"

omg I had to look it up but is that car a Scion? Why am I paying attention to that now?

How come you have to specify that it's a human-shaped IBM... are you just talking about its head?

「亜人は老衰までは覆せない」Huh, that seems like a weird way to use that word. I'm gonna have to read this part in English

Ah man come on Ogura, we wanted answerssss (What a Sakurai-like but also very appropriate response)

AH BLEP'S PILOTING =w= I think I knew this I just didn't really notice before

Ah man given the angle I feel like the way Kei hit the street is significant, but I don't know why yet God if this manga ended with Satou getting away and KEI being the ajin who perma-died idk even what I would do

But you're still trying to go after it anyway aren't you

I have no idea what's happening but I like it omg could it be Takahashi oh dang Manabe, that's still pretty good

The tag line above this page says 「すべては『面白い』のために」 That captures it pretty well- it says "The point of it all was that it was 'interesting'"

Oh, Satou hit the same way? no no don't kill Kei AND Satou please no is it hitting your head after you've flooded??

Who are those guys?

Can the IBMs communicate telepathically? Or does Satou have an earpiece for the helicopter radio?

ok well good I guess the falls didn't kill them. At least maybe it wiped out the flood attacking Kou and Akiyama and everyone?

Satou, you of all people should not be asking these questions wait, they didn't like, Freaky Friday switch or something right... ah, the だい ending is Satou's speech pattern though

すみません　?? What a Kei-like thing to say at a time like this

WHAT the

how does Sakurai keep coming up with completely unexpected turns of events

#Ajin #Ajin spoilers #?#ch 75.5 #ch 76

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rockettransman · 5 years ago

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Rocketman Watch #4 Thoughts

i have so many MORE thoughts can you believe it wow here we go

(i wrote these as i watched it so they’re in order im p sure)

man, his intro monologue during group therapy is just as gripping as it was when I first watched it. And the transition to the bitch is back is so fuckin good. My palms are sweating.

There’s some commentary about forgiving and loving your inner/past child, but I don’t have the words for it at this moment. In the beginning he’s staring down, confused and scowling at his child self, but at the end, he embraces him in a way his father and loved ones never did.

Was he in therapy/rehab WHILE touring and doing music? Stomping into the room in his regalia would have me believe so. I know group therapy was a medium for storytelling. Was it just signaling the very beginning of his story, because we go through different stages through his actions and clothing changes?

Lmao I imagine it must take some pretty cool parents to allow their, like, six or seven year old child to be in this movie. He said bitch so many times.

Took me a hot second to realize the orchestra he’s conducting is playing Rocket Man. The violins are so pretty. Imagine being picked to be in the orchestra on set and getting smile up at the tiny little kid who played Elton. My heart would absolutely swell seeing a little kid being so fantastic at this really intense job.

Kit Connor did amazing in his role. He’s fifteen and he’s already done so much! Imagine growing up knowing you played Elton John as a kid. Getting to work alongside him and his husband and the dozens of incredible actors. Wowie. I’d never shut up about it.

I LOVE how 12 year old Elton is playing the piano SO HARD and is trying to rock out as hard as he can while playing classical music. The boy wanna ROCK dammit.

HE GLANCED UP THE TINIEST BIT WHEN THE MAN ASKED IF ANYONE HAD A FAG (slang for cigarette)

SATURDAY NIGHTS ALRIGHT GIVES ME CONSTANT CHILLS FROM THE START TO FINISH

WOOOW SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD ELTON IS CUTE AS HEEELLLL. The hair, glasses, and front tooth gap fit Taron so well. Goddamn I hope I look like 17 year old Elton some day.

The choreography for this number is absolutely breathtaking. You have to get that many people all in sync! We followed Elton running through the crowd and AAHHH it was a lot! The athleticism! And they did it in the rain! Wow I’m blow away.

Elton is JAMMIN in the back of the stage. It’s really sweet to see his smile and enthusiasm and his brain thinking and working.

That guy in the back peed a LOT lmao

I was wondering where thank you for all of your loving came in.

Charlie Rowe plays Ray Williams, and he also plays LEO ROTH from Red Band Society!!! The first time I watched the movie, I KNEW him from somewhere, but I couldn’t place it and it was driving me nuts. Man. RBS was a big crutch during the worst lows of my ED. Had no idea he was English.

Love to see how shy Elton was as a teenager. It’s a hot ass mood. Also, those silk scarves? Ascots? idk but they’re a LOOK.

“One frothy coffee, no froth.”

The acquaintances-to-best-friends montage set to Border Song *chefs kiss*

Rock And Roll Madonna Is A Perfect Song Send Tweet

Lmao Elton is NOT phased at all when he gets accused of being gay. He’s just like. “Nah. I’m like. Not.” Not overly defensive and surprised, like I’m sure other people would be lmaooo

STUMBLING HOME DRUNK WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A MILESTONE IN TEENAGEHOOD!!!!!!!

“You are a ssSSHHIIIITT HOT piano player—”

So delicate of Bernie the way he politely denied a kiss from him. It wasn’t weird or tense at all. Just a gentle “love you, but not that way. It’s okay” Some people may not be able to handle it that well even today.

Taron’s got nice thighs. That robe & underwear getup is a nice look.

Love love LOVE hearing him experiment with Your Song on the piano to find a melody that worked.

Honestly what the shit do these songs even mean. Bernie sometimes these words don’t make any sense. Don’t worry, they still slap. “See I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue” like what

AMOREENA IS A PERFECT SONG SEND TWEET

Doug flirting with Bernie makes me snort every time. “Oh, really? That’s.. cool.”

THE TROUBADOUR OUTFIT IS GOOD AS SHIT!!!!!!!!

“NO, BERNIE. YOU ARE UNDERREACTING.”

Taron was right. The overalls do make his ass look massive.

A week ago before this movie I was sick and fuckin TIRED of crocodile rock but now I can’t get enough of it. The movie transformed a lot of old songs I was sick of for me.

Imagine being a kind of shy, nervous kid, terrified to go on stage, but two and a half minutes later the entire venue is LOSING IT because they love the jam YOU WROTE. how cool for Elton.

I want a best friend platonic cheek kiss :(

Hmmmmm I’m wondering if they used the studio recordings that went on the album for the movie or have different movie-specific recordings. Tiny Dancer sounds a teeny bit different in the movie version.

Goddamn I sure hope Taron got to keep that jacket.

“So you liked the song, then?” “Not as much as the singer” *Elton glances away in gay panic*

LMFAO John said some weird colorful words to Elton that barely made sense and he was like OH FUCK GOTTA KISS HIM GOTTA KISS HIM

I’ve talked so much about the sex scene I don’t need to go on about it here. Go search the rocketman tag on my blog for my extensive gay thoughts about it.

Now I know glasses come OFF during sex

oh oh oh I was wondering where Hercules fell in the movie. I love how the songs he’s writing or getting notoriety for is played over the transition scenes.

Elton’s hand on his hip, knowing smirk as John enters the studio. “Hello.”

Bernie is like “HELLO are we RECORDING or are y’all gonna FUCK in the CLOSET?”

*vibrating* Honky Cat Honky Cat Honky Cat Honky Cat

Damn, the flowy white button down with the red pants really is a LOOK

The gestures, staring up at each other, leaning into each other, hands on each other’s chests, damn it makes me feel some typa way. Maybe their love WAS good and fun and exciting while they rode the high of everything before it all went so so bad.

Elton searching John’s gaze while he’s talking and looking like he’s not really paying attention, just looking for a kiss on the couch.. GOD I remember the honeymoon phase of my relationships. So much fun.

His dad going “N-Not really my thing.” That was a metaphor for his SEXUALITY TOO, huh.

Damn. He went to his dad’s to come out to him and he never even got to get to that part. He was just like “....nice shoes....” and even after all this time, didn’t show any interest in his music. If he never was into what he did, how could he even talk about being gay? I’m sure during that scene there were a lot of metaphors to sexuality but I didn’t bother to think much about them.

The eyebrow quirk after his dad says “ah—no. Could you make it out to Arthur?” DAMN Elton was like .. “really. This is what’s happening? Okay. Awesome.”

“What do you have to do to get a fucking drink around here, eh?” *cuts to Elton drinking straight from a bottle*

“Elton—” “Elton!”

John saying “don’t you ever put your hands on me” when he was the one who yanked him from the phone booth AND directly after punching him... woof man. What a shitty dude.

Damn, just noticed John talking very quietly and closely to another man right before he goes on and plays Pinball Wizard. Was this the first sign of him having fun with other men when Elton was indisposed?

Pinball Wizard is absolutely intense and loud and fun, but it DOES carry the tone of “god im SO miserable” under it all. You knew Elton wasn’t having fun.

“It is next week.” Jeezus.

LMAO I just caught the “mom, you’re ON my GOWN” when he reluctantly complies to give the Anderson’s a tour.

Damn, flowy, loose dress shirts with the first few buttons undone is a LOOOOK.

How did they do the overdose scene, you think? Surely the pills Taron took had to be like. Empty. Or placebo affect drugs? Idk. He did take a big drink directly after stuffing his mouth with them. I don’t think he spit them out.

God, there is SOMETHING symbolic about how he meets his child self at the bottom of the pool. Rock bottom? Apologizing? Wishing he could be better? Telling him he’ll never be better?

OH I watched a behind the scenes cut about the pool scene, and none of it was CGI. Taron was weighted under his robe and a SCUBA diver was on standby to provide oxygen. The singing and bubbles coming out of his mouth and stuff underwater was all real.

Dying to know about the choreography around the second chorus, about the undressing and twirling and dressing and injection and handing off of the bat and stuff. That sequence was incredible.

Bennie and the Jets. Damn. It fucks. I listened to it almost the entire time on my run today. (Five miles; I felt like garbage the entire time but it was good anyway.) The scene is wild. He’s in the middle of a drug induced haze orgy. He SHOULD be having the time of his life but he’s so goddamn miserable. (Also, the juxtaposition between Chris Fleming’s Bennie and the Jets is so funny.)

Part of the problem was that John never understood Elton. But, Elton broke it off with John, not the other way around like he said it was. He wasn’t the victim in that regard. John did treat him like shit though.

Victim of Love plays right after that lmao

Renate and he aren’t even close when they do the duet to don’t let the sun go down on me. They’re separated in different rooms, mirroring literally how closed off their relationship was.

The shot with them waking up in different rooms.. damn

His shirt is so LOUD I’m going crazy

Watching Taron down that orange juice made me a little nauseous I gotta say

“Not really I’m gAy”

It’s CRAZY to watch Elton and his mom interact at the dinner scene. He gets accosted and accused of so much by his mom, claiming SHE’S the victim of his actions, making it all about HER and then he turns around and does and says the exact same shit to Bernie.

He yells “Oh, don’t be so dramatic!” at Bernie as he gets into a taxi. THE PROJECTION!! THE DEFLECTION!!!!

I know there’s only so much they can put in two hours, but I wish they showed more of Elton’s eating issues. He had bulimia for sixteen years before he got help. It’s Absolutely the Man With Anorexia in me, but seeing that even men deal with eating disorders quells the lonely aching something in me. I feel that much less alone, you know. Eating disorders aren’t a “woman’s disease.”

How do you think they did his hair? A wig adds more hair, not take it away. He didn’t get his hair cut for it did he?

Seeing Elton’s first love fall apart because John was such a selfish, heartless prick in reality makes me sad.

Elton hugs his inner child when he reconciled with everyone in his past. Goddamn. He found peace and forgiveness for himself, who he was, even after all that time.

When Elton asks him not to go, Bernie refuses, saying this is something he had to do on his own. Healing comes from within alone. No one can help you do it. People can guide you, but you have to work at it. It’s fucking lonely sometimes, but it’s so, so worth it.

I used to loathe I’m Still Standing since i heard it so much at work, but the movie changed my entire perspective on it. I love the slow build up as he exits the rehab center. You don’t get thrown into something so happy and fast paced and fun after a cathartic climax you need to drink in. And the pan to his hat with the rainbow stripe to his smile. I get chills every time. Elton feels so right and secure and happy in himself. At first I thought it was a bit cheesy, but accepting your sexuality, especially after all the hell he went through during his life, grappling with unresolved trauma and fear of abandonment, he absolutely should wear it loud and proud. It’s easy to think times are much easier now being gay, and it shouldn’t be such a big deal. Relative to 1975, it is easier. But it doesn’t mean it’s not such a rough personal thing to work through if you’ve been spit on and resented all your life. Being gay, coming out, and accepting and being comfortable with that fact must’ve been such a HUGE milestone in Elton’s recovery and self-esteem.

Love me again after I’m still standing is perfect. The credits make me tear up every time. Jeez. What a good movie. What a good movie. Hit me up if you wanna talk about Rocketman because I absolutely will with you.

#like if you read pls #noah.txt #rocketman #elton john #rocket man #bernie taupin #richard madden #john reid

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itsmyusualphannie · 5 years ago

Text

something wrong in the village

Chapter 4/5: numbers Beta: @candanandphilnot Rating: T Warnings: Read on ao3

Summary: Fiona Lester has a secret. Dan Howell thinks they hate each other. Dan meets an online friend and comes to realize something important about himself while juggling a changing relationship with his parents, friends, and Fiona.

~~~ previous chapter ~~~ next chapter ~~~

The first thing Dan did upon waking up the next morning, after slapping the alarm on his phone, was to crawl out of bed and blearily stagger his way to his desk. He felt a bit like death warmed over. He’d stayed up late last night - or early in the morning, depending on how he looked at it - even though he knew it was a bad idea. That one message to Phil had sparked an entire conversation, though. The deepest one they had had so far. Dan felt like his most repressed emotions had been scooped out of him and laid bare before an empathetic almost-stranger sort-of-best-friend.

Upon sprawling sleepily in his desk chair, Dan typed in his computer password and brought up the chat on the cheesy ‘FRIENDS’ website. He could see the last few messages exchanged between him and Phil, but scrolled up further to glance over some of the others. 2 a.m. sleep-drunk messages were terrifying to look back on, but these didn’t seem so horrible.

it’s not like a solid thing, read one of Phil’s messages, and below it, Dan’s reply.

yeah but i’ve only ever felt like that toward guys and like one or two girls. idk. is there even a label for that?

You don’t have to have a label unless it feels right. i mean I say i’m gay because i want to but you don’t have to

idk, Dan had simply replied, and even now, in the sun-glare of early morning, he still didn’t know. He scrolled back to the bottom of the chat, to the most recent messages.

i’m so tired i should probably sleep lol, Dan had typed.

Yeah it’s a school night! rip to us. There had been a long wait between that and his next message, where Dan had just stared at the laptop screen and been unable to think of anything original to say, but then Phil had added going to sleep now i guess lol. gn!

night, Dan had somehow managed to type without any spelling mistakes induced by his tired fingers, and then he had staggered to bed.

There was a new message waiting from Phil, time-stamped only a few minutes earlier. He’d probably just gotten up for school too.

hey i just thought it’d be cool to text if you want? so we can message when we’re not just home :) you don’t have to if you don’t want! but if you do, my number is 01184 80222.

Dan rubbed his eyes, trying to smear out the sleep, before reading it again. cool, he replied. He read it one more time. “Oh,” he said out loud.

He reacted instinctively, crossing the room to find his phone again and unlocking it. It took him less than a minute to save the number under a new contact that he called “phil the fellow nerd.” He looked between his phone and the open webpage on his computer, and then he closed out the browser on his laptop. It would be easier this way, now.

He tapped on the message icon by Phil’s new contact and hesitated before slowly typing out a message. hey it’s me, internet stalker dan :)

With that, Dan shoved his phone deep into his pocket, tugged on his shoes, and headed out. He made it halfway outside before he realized he was still wearing his pyjamas. Today was going to be just...great.

~~~

“Hey, dude! What’s up!” To emphasize the greeting, Sam offered Dan a hearty punch.

“Ow,” said Dan mildly. He rubbed his shoulder and took another bite of his sandwich. “It’s...not up.”

Sam laughed and threw himself into the seat next to Dan, digging into his own lacklustre cafeteria meal. “Ready for that test today?”

Dan and Sam did not have any classes together. Dan also had no test today.

“Sure,” Dan agreed.

The clatter of the lunchroom was almost a dull roar today. It still felt heavy, oppressive noise pressing into Dan’s ears and against the mild headache that he was once again nursing. He probably should have grabbed a painkiller from his bathroom this morning, but he’d been a little rushed after his attempt at heading to school in his nightclothes. Now that would have been a nightmare.

Another guy seated himself across from Dan, briefly glancing up and giving Dan a cursory nod. Dan chewed a bite of his sandwich and returned the nod.

“So, had a cool ride here this morning,” said Sam around an open mouthful of something that looked like mashed potatoes or glue. It looked more like the latter. “My board’s got a loose wheel though, gotta get that fixed.”

Dan took a loud slurp from his water bottle. “Yep,” he said.

“Talked to Johnathan too,” continued Sam, undeterred by Dan’s clear disinterest. “He went out with that girl Sam or whatever her name was and they hooked up in the…”

Dan set down his sandwich, tuned out Sam, and pulled his phone from his pocket. A new message from “phil the fellow nerd” was waiting for him, and a subconscious smile pulled at his lips as he clicked on it. This was his first message from Phil.

hi, internet stalker dan. This is pretty convenient, totally not messaging in class right now

Dan huffed a laugh and wiped his fingers on his trousers to remove any extra sandwich crumbs before replying. don’t message in class you nutter, you’ll get caught and then who will i talk to?

my teacher :D replied Phil instantly. i’m sure you’ll get along great.

ew.

“Ooh,” said Sam. He leaned toward Dan, eyes bright as he tried to sneak a glimpse of Dan’s phone. Nonplussed, Dan tilted the phone away from him, waiting for a response. “Who’re you texting, Danny boy? Finally got a bird to talk to you?”

“Yeah, it’s your mum,” Dan retorted. The boy across from him slapped the table and laughed.

Sam snorted. “Sure, mate, have your secrets.” He chomped into another bite of the glue-like substance that coated his spoon.

dw class is almost over anyway, about to head to my next class, popped up a new message from Phil, and as if on cue, the bell on the wall of the lunchroom shrilled loudly with its obnoxious warning to head to class.

Dan climbed to his feet, shrugging his backpack over his shoulder. He collected his trash with one hand, typing out a reply to Phil with the other. omw to class right now. english, gross.

Somehow, this felt easier than anything Dan had ever done before. Messaging Phil wasn’t something that he dreaded, unlike literally any time Sam the self-proclaimed surfer tried to strike up a “bro” conversation. Even that nod with the guy sitting across from him had wearied Dan. These brief messages from Phil seemed to somehow have the opposite effect. Reading them felt more like a breath of fresh air or a sip of cold, soothing water than the draining outcome of most conversations. Maybe it was that they were just words on a screen, but Dan didn’t think so. Dan thought he might feel the same if Phil was standing in front of him right now.

He dumped his trash in the bin by the doors and headed to class, fingers rapid on his screen as he walked. Sam went with him, but Dan ignored the stream of chatter that was directed toward him. He navigated around other students with ease, making his way to the door of his class within a few minutes of leaving the lunchroom.

i have english now too lol, read the last message from Phil. gtg now though, talk to you l8er

the fact that you actually just typed ‘l8er’ disgusts me, Dan informed Phil. No reply came, but Dan had a feeling that Phil had seen the message anyway. good luck in class, Dan added, then slipped his phone into his pocket.

“ - so I gave her my least favourite banana,” Sam was saying, and he laughed uproariously at his own uninteresting story he had just been relating to Dan.

Dan was about ninety-five percent sure that he had heard this story before. He hadn’t listened those times, either. He stepped out of the way of a passing student and gazed through the open door to his English classroom. A few people were still milling inside, so Dan resolved to wait until they left. He had no interest in starting a class before he actually had to join.

“Yeah, so guess I’ll see you later!” said Sam. He socked Dan in the shoulder again, which Dan did nothing but wince against. He had probably developed actual muscles from the daily punches.

“See you,” he said, more apathetically than he had even planned to be.

“Cool, I’ll - oh damn,” breathed Sam, and Dan’s attention was snagged. He hadn’t heard that tone since last month when Johnathan’s wealthy grandfather had bought him a cherry red sports car for his sixteenth birthday and Johnathan had driven it up in front of school to show it off to the groups of girls that hung outside after school. He had gotten a flat tyre the next day and hadn’t driven it to school since, but the appreciation from his friends had been enormously gratifying so he gave quite a few of them rides to and from his oversized house and the ice cream parlour down the road. Dan had not been one of those friends.

“Dude,” said Sam, still in that same voice. He punched Dan in the shoulder again, but it was half-hearted as he stared down the hallway. “Look.”

Dan was already following his gaze. He felt his own jaw fall slack as he took in the sight moving down the hallway toward him.

It was Fiona. She was different, though. She moved with rare ease through the sparse crowd in the hallway. Her shoulders were square, confidence evident in her posture as she strode toward Dan and their shared classroom. This clear self-assurance wasn’t the only change, though. There was an obvious change from only yesterday, where her disdainful stare had bored through Dan in the bathroom encounter. Her long, flowing dark locks were shorn. Instead of the usual cascading hair toppling past her shoulders, she had shaved the sides of her head and the top was styled only a few inches short, ruffled into a playful quiff.

Something burned hot in Dan’s chest. He swallowed harshly, unable to tear his gaze from the new hairstyle. It suited her almost unfairly, the short sides of the cut highlighting her sharp cheekbones and sloped jawline. Her eyebrows were still that pale brown hue, arched evenly over her cool blue eyes. Said eyebrows narrowed harshly as her gaze snagged on Dan. Her lip curled as she drew closer, but she didn’t speak a word to him.

“Hey,” said Sam, unaware or uncaring of the crystal contempt obvious in her expression. “Cool cut, my dude. You look hot!” He nudged Dan, elbow digging harshly into Dan’s ribs. Dan didn’t notice, still staring unblinkingly at Fiona. “Doesn’t she look hot?”

“Hot,” Dan repeated without really thinking about it. Fiona didn’t seem to hear him, as she cast Sam a slightly less contemptuous look.

“Thanks,” she said.

Sam beamed. “Sure!” he said. “So you’re a lesbian now?”

Sam was a fucking dumbass.

Fiona’s gaze slid back to Dan, scalding him with obvious scorn as if he was the one who had asked the question. “No,” she said, gaze boring into him, “I definitely like guys,” and with that, she swept past both of them and into the classroom, ignoring the other students still inside. Dan dreaded having to follow her inside.

“She’s totally gay,” Sam confidently informed Dan.

Dan punched Sam in the shoulder.

~~~

Dan was drawing a random person. He was definitely drawing someone random. The quick strokes of his pencil over the sketching pad were casual and brief, etching out nothing more than the portrait of a sharp-cheekboned, slope-jawed, dark-haired, narrow-eyed person - “Fuck,” said Dan aloud, his pencil pausing over the paper.

“I’m sorry?” asked his teacher.

Dan blinked and glanced up. Ah, yes. He was in English class. His teacher stared him down, the marker in her hand hovering above the board. “Um,” he said. “I just...remembered an assignment I need to work on.” He offered a tight-lipped smile, which was returned with obvious gritted teeth by his teacher. For as much as she cared about him talking in class, she never paid attention to what he was constantly drawing.

“Like I was saying,” she said, turning back to the board, “we’re going to be going over these lines of poetry and…”

Sighing, but quietly, Dan frowned down at his sketchbook. He flipped to a new piece of paper and lowered the pencil to it, but hesitated to start. He could hear a scoff from Fiona in the seat behind him, and yet no kick was offered to his seat. She hadn’t started anything since their suspension, but she’d at least slipped him some cutting insults when the teacher’s back was turned. Now, he got nothing but huffs.

Dan tried again, this time an ambiguous sketch of a teenager sprawled across a bench. He grew the outlines of long, lanky limbs, a very male torso and lower appendages, and slender calves and feet. Once he got to the face, his pencil moved without his permission, detailing the long nose, sharp eyes, and arched eyebrows of - Fiona.

Motherfucker.

Dan was tempted to rip out the page, but that would draw too much attention, so he just angrily folded over the page to a fresh paper and dropped his pencil on his desk.

Bzzz. His phone vibrated briefly with a notification, warm against his leg where he’d tucked it when he sat down. Dan tried to ignore it, but it buzzed again a moment later. And then again. At least it wasn’t loud enough for anyone to hear, not even Fiona, who had keen ears and was right behind him.

Well. He couldn’t draw anything, if Fiona’s face was going to invade everything he worked on, so he might as well. He watched the teacher, but her back was still turned as he slipped careful fingers beneath his thigh to slip his phone out. He placed it atop his sketchbook and half-closed the book over it. It was extremely unsubtle, but at least his teacher wouldn’t immediately be able to tell what he was doing. He still kept an eye on her as he swiped at his phone, though.

Three messages from Phil were waiting for him.

Bored

booored

dan entertain me

Dan had to physically force himself not to laugh as he painstakingly typed out a reply. what, i’m in class. i can’t just leave to talk to you

Only a few seconds passed before a reply popped up. Lame. don’t you know that’s your sole purpose for existence, to talk to me?

This was terrifying, Dan decided, but it was fantastic. He and Phil had talked so much before and after school, whenever Dan could get his hands on his computer, but now they could actually talk in class.

besides, I’m in class too, came in another message from Phil. living life on the edge, that’s me

if you get caught i’m going to laugh at you

I am the sneak master I would never get caught, Phil replied confidently.

“Excuse me!” barked their teacher from the front of the room. “Are you on your phone in class?”

Dan carefully did not react, letting his fingers slip away from his phone and slowly lifting his eyes to stare at her with a level gaze. He could still see the glare of the phone out of the corner of his eye, lighting up the pale pages of his sketchbook that were drooping over it.

But she wasn’t looking at him. She crossed the length of the room in a quick dozen strides, pausing next to Dan’s desk to stare behind him. “Miss Fiona,” she said sternly. “You know the rules.”

“Sorry,” said Fiona, in the most insincere tone Dan had ever heard in his life. The teacher apparently accepted it though, as she just nodded.

“Put it away. If I see it again, I’ll confiscate it until the rest of class.” With that, she turned and made her way back to the board.

Dan finally breathed. He couldn’t dare keep texting Phil now, since his teacher would be on high alert for the rest of class. He spared a quick glance at his phone, though, but didn’t see anything from Phil. Maybe the other boy had finally realized the danger of texting in class. Dan snuck the phone from his sketchbook to its original place beneath his thigh.

Although he waited for it, no other messages buzzed the phone against his leg for the rest of class.

~~~

Dan’s morning had been rushed, obviously, but there were four items he had not let himself forget. They were currently crammed into the bottom of his backpack. He’d left his English textbook - it hadn’t even been needed this class, anyway - at home so they could fit. They rattled together, quietly but still noticeable, as he slowly climbed to his feet.

He’d been sitting on this toilet for the past thirty minutes after his last class. Dozens of other students had come in and out of the bathroom since then, but the rush had slowed to a trickle and now it was finally empty as everyone left school for the day.

Dan’s ass was fully numb at this point, so he kicked his legs out in ways that probably would have looked hilarious if anyone had seen him as he ducked out of the stall and made his way across the room. He locked the door and reached high above one of the sinks to crack open the tiny window that led outside, and then he took a moment to take a breath and glance around the room. It still smelled heavily of piss and the five stalls, three sinks, and two urinals were still varying shades of ugly grey, matching the walls.

His phone chirped in his pocket. He’d taken it off vibrate once he left class, and had spent most of his time hiding in the stall earlier by texting Phil. Just the usual, mundane, hilarious, witty messages that left Dan feeling like a weight had been dragged from his chest. But that was beside the point.

Just got home, said Phil’s most recent text when Dan dug his phone from his pocket and glanced at it. time for homework :(

ha, good luck, Dan replied. He put the phone back and then shook out his arms, brushing his thumbs over his fingers anxiously. He was going to do this.

Hoisting his backpack into one of the sinks, he unzipped it and rifled briefly to the bottom before he found what he was looking for. It was a cold metal can, decorated with bright smears of colour and a solid grey lid. It rattled when he shook it. He placed it on the floor next to the wall that was violent with marker sketches, then dug a few more similar cans from his backpack. Each one had a differently coloured lid, one with pink, one blue, and the last one white.

Dan took a step back and glanced over the wall. The cans before it were full of potential, something fierce and proud inside of them ready to be released. The wall was ugly now, black scars of marker marrings its dull grey paint, the occasional splash of colour where someone had discovered a coloured marker in their bag. And there was that tiny trans flag, its bright colours muted by the slurs and graphic art scrawled around it.

If Dan was caught once he picked up one of those cans, he wouldn’t be suspended. He’d be expelled. The danger of it felt valuable. Adrenaline already sang through his veins, although he had yet to start.

Hauling in another deep breath, he let his chest expand and relax with the strength of it, and then he reached down and snagged the grey can of paint.

He began.

~~~ previous chapter ~~~ next chapter ~~~

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #phanfic au #high school #trans phil #misunderstandings

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plantanarchy · 5 years ago

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the audubon society plants list finally loaded kids let’s do a brief (haha) cold medicine induced analysis of what the heck they’re recommending for my local area (western PA) and whether it could grow in my shitty yard (if i’m unfamiliar with it i’m skipping it just to be fair)

It’s alphabetical by common name I guess so ok i’m doing this under a cut I supppose

Allegheny Monkey Flower (Mimulus ringens) - this plant is indeed one you see kinda often...... on the very edge of the Allegheny river literally growing as a marginal plant. not ideal unless you got a pond or live in a swamp

Allegheny Serviceberry (Amelanchier laevis) - this is one you see growing in the woods near swamps so nope, not in this drought hellscape of a yard

Alternate-Leaf Dogwood (Cornus alternifolia) - another understory moisture loving tree/shrub... next

American Beech (Fagus grandifolia) - again, moisture loving woodland tree. European Beeches are overall more drought tolerant so if you see a beech in the city or suburbs, it’s probably not an American Beech. also, in my area, you can’t find an American Beech that isn’t suffering from Beech bark disease unfortunately

American Black Elderberry (Sambucus nigra ssp. canadensis) - These are good plants and grow all along the shady woodsides here. Same issue though, they like moisture and at least partial shade. And the ornamental varieties you can find at garden centers tend to be European hybrids with fancy leaves

American Pokeweed (Phytolacca americana) - shadey woodland lad again. They’re also very very weedy idk that anyone would want this in their garden.

American Witch-Hazel (Hamamelis virginiana) - a good plant. still needs moist soil but I think would probably be ok. It looks really cool planted near grasses because it blooms in fallish

Big Bluestem (Andropogon gerardi) - finally a prairie plant!! it’s my boy big bluestem. unfortunately, it can look kinda wild and weedy for a suburban garden unless you do it right.

Black Chokeberry (Aronia melanocarpa) - handsome, good, nice berries, good fall foliage, excellent choice, prefers full sun but still likes it a bit moist and will drop all its bottom leaves and turn fall colors early if you underwater it oops i definitely never was responsible for that at work with b&b aronias.

Black Raspberry (Rubus occidentalis) - oh word we got these in our garden and the birds actually like the red ones better rip

Black-Eyed-Susan (Rudbeckia hirta) - that’s right babey it’s Susan. this baby will reseed all day in sun or shade and birds love that shit. downfall is the species plant is prone to rust and cultivars do a bit better.

Butterfly Milkweed (Asclepias tuberosa) - Good and Wholesome friend. I don’t recommend this as baby’s first milkweed though because they can be slow to establish and kinda disappointing and small and if you get caterpillars on it the first year, it may not survive.

Cardinal-Flower (Lobelia cardinalis) - my mom actually has managed to keep a Lobelia alive in the shadiest, wettest part of her garden but listen...... this is a marginal or swamp plant. Put it in the swamp.

Common Buttonbush (Cephalanthus occidentalis) - it’s the bae

Common Milkweed (Asclepias syriaca) - do not try to buy this as an established plant at a garden center, they will look at you funny and point at the roadsides. Either wait until fall seedpod time and go harvest some or buy some seeds online

Common Snowberry (Symphoricarpos albus) - I had no idea this was native actually but it’s cool because it gets big white ORBS

Common Winterberry (Ilex verticillata) - it’s got stems. it’s got berries. it can grow wherever. what more could you want??? english holly who?????

Common Yarrow (Achillea millefolium) - actually often confusingly hybridized with European Yarrows so no one knows whether they’re ~true~ natives or not. Who cares they will survive anything except a swamp. They will live in a drought ass no topsoil suburban neighborhood like a CHAMP. they were made for this.

Dense Gayfeather (Liatris spicata) - just including this one because it sounds like a Good Omens joke

Flowering Dogwood (Cornus florida) - put that baby tree back in the moist woodlands where it came from or so help me

Gray-Head Mexican-Hat (Ratibida pinnata) - ayyy prairie plant, though this isn’t the species you commonly see for sale at garden centers and this one is decidedly less phallic than R. columnifera so that’s a bummer.

Great Blue Lobelia (Lobelia siphilitica) - we half killed this at work because it doesn’t love pot culture or me but someone still bought it all. don’t put this in your dry ass suburban neighborhood or she will hate you too

Northern Bayberry (Morella pensylvanica) - i call this myrica pensylvanica but whatever. birds love it. so do japanese beetles unfortunately

Pennsylvania Sedge (Carex pensylvanica) - it’s a sedge

Red Columbine (Aquilegia canadensis) - unlike other columbine, this bitch likes full sun and probably will grow and reseed anywhere

Redbud (Cercis canadensis) - another understory-ish moisture loving tree but a lot of the cultivars do just fine in the middle of sad suburban yards. also good. blooms wherever it wants while nakey.

Scarlet Beebalm (Monarda didyma) - you will only ever find cultivars of this but who knows, they may slightly more mildew resistant for at least a little while

Shag-Bark Hickory (Carya ovata) - big, handsome, looks like it’s seconds away from falling apart at all times. just how i like my men.

Smooth Oxeye (Heliopsis helianthoides) - please let the one in my mom’s yard know that it’s meant to survive dry soils in full sun

Spotted Beebalm (Monarda punctata) - my favorite bee balm but doesn’t have the Wow factor of M. didyma cultivars. It likes the sun and dry though

Spotted Touch-Me-Not (Impatiens capensis) - wholesome friend! But no one in their right mind would plant this on purpose in their garden also it would be wilt-city out here in the drought ass topsoil-less surburbs. these babies used to grow between the greenhouses and I used to water them like some kinda of bleeding heart

Swamp Milkweed (Asclepias incarnata) - she can actually live pretty well in the middle of drought ass suburban yard and spreads easily by seed but expect half the lower leaves to yellow and drop off by midsummer. poor darling. put her back in the swamp. This is the most reliable commerically available milkweed you will find because it takes to pot culture way better than other milkweeds (rip all the butterfly weed horticulture land kills yearly)

Sweet-Bay (Magnolia virginiana) - more like sweet bae am I right???? actually she wouldn’t live in my yard. needs some afternoon shade and moist, rich soil.

Sweet-Scented Joe-Pye-Weed (Eutrochium purpureum) - It’s Joe!!!!! Will grow all over. Will get 7 feet tall with massive flowers just because he can. Will grow in a swamp, will grow on a hillside, will grow beside Wal-Mart. Joe don’t care. I still call it Eupatorium because I resist change and actually I’m not 100% sure if this or E. fistulosum that is most common around here.

Tall Tickseed (Coreopsis tripteris) - coreopsis is a really popular genus to see on native plant lists but there aren’t many native to my area of Pennsylvania and you won’t find anything but C. verticillata or C. lanceolata cultivars in garden centers. BUt apparently this bitch can get NINE FEET TALL i’m swooning

Trumpet-Creeper (Campsis radicans) - ok, i’d avoid planting this baby unless you know exactly what you’re doing. she may be native but she can and will do her best to eat your home and foundation and your garden in general. she will do her rhizomey best to runner away from you into the wilderness. fun to grow across a pergola though but she will EAT your TREES and your HOME

Virginia-Creeper (Parthenocissus quinquefolia) - ????? no one is going to deliberately plant this, Audubon Society

Wand Panic Grass (Panicum virgatum) - this is why I think making these lists with common name first is so hilarious because what????? I know this as “Switchgrass” which sounds nice and normal wtf is a Wand Panic Grass. that’s what i’m going to call bad bottom dysphoria episodes from now on

White Turtlehead (Chelone glabra) - likes it wet and shaded so wouldn’t do nice in my yard. also why even BOTHER planting this plant unless you’re going to do the cultivar ‘Hot Lips’ (jk probably the white one is more native insects friendly)

Wild Hydrangea (Hydrangea arborescens) - she’s cute and all but if you want a Hydrangea just go full cliche H. paniculata cultivar or nothing. This plant would hate my whole entire yard and then die

anyway, that’s all the plants on the list I felt like rambling about on this fine Tuesday morning. Overall, idk how helpful a list like this would be for first time gardeners, because they would run into the issue of not being able to actually their hands on most of these plants.

Very few on the list would actually be suitable for growing in a new suburban neighborhood or an urban garden. This is an area naturally full of sensitive, woodland, rich, moist soil-loving plants... and unfortunately, those areas are disappearing more and more under new developments and the native pollinators and wildlife are going along with them.

#i really just did that and rambled about a whole lot of plants for no good reason #long post #idk what to tag this as

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hazzabeeforlou · 5 years ago

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11/11/11

Oh my gosh so my lovely friends @halosboat @helloamhere and @haztobegood all tagged me in this so I’m going to answer a few from each of them I hope that’s okay!!

1. Do you prefer to write in past or present tense?

I mostly use past tense. Present squeaks me out a bit, not sure why, perhaps my anxiety can’t deal with things happening in the moment! I have an irrational fear of the word ‘was,’ though, which is eliminated in present by ‘is’ so, one would think I’d like present more but I *don’t*

2. Is there any story you want to write but feel like you won’t manage?

My story The Garden is going to be... hard. It’s a soulmate fic set in three time periods, a Biblical AU following the reincarnation of lovers David+Johnathan but in the middle ages, Jesus+Judas in the 1960s, and Adam+Eve in the present day, all obviously portrayed by Harry and Louis. It stems from the evangelical idea that Adam, David, and Jesus were the three ‘Christs,’ or rather that Adam and David were imperfect Saviors. Anyways. I want it to explore divinity and fate and religion and politics and loss and violence and love, and the blurring between good and evil and if there even is a distinction, and it’s so clear in my mind that I can almost taste it, but because of that I’m very daunted by the prospect. It would also be very LONG. And idk who would read a biblical gay love story AU so... I’ve even considered just doing a novel, not a fan fic *shrugs*

3. Which one of your fics do you think deserves more love?

OH BOY. Well I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. My RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER AU. Like. Harry is a shapeshifting reindeer. He pulls Santa’s sleigh. He love Christmas more than anything in this whole damn world. Louis is one of Santa’s elves and Harry’s best friend and he wants nothing more than to run away and explore the world. There’s all the mutual idiotic oblivious pining. There’s Christmas shit. SO much Christmas shit. There’s smut. There’s magic. Peppermint dildos. Need I say more?

4. Are the fictional characters you like to read/write similar to the people you like in real life?

I unfortunately read about the people in my real life quite enough in the news *trump voters cough cough* so no, I try to fill my fictional life with witches and warlocks and fairies and intellectuals and scientists and the occasional damsel wandering the moors. As for the characters I write, I have noticed that I tend to make them all very emotionally prone, which I think is more a reflection of myself than the people I’m around. I honestly base most of my characters, or at least their inner issues, on myself, not in an egotistical way, but in an ‘I know myself better than anyone else in my life’ way. Now. Do I like myself? Haha. Um. Ya there’s a reason I solve my self-based character’s problems in fics, I usually need to learn those lessons in my real life.

5. What is your biggest fear about your writing?

My biggest fear has always been failure. As a musician, I’m constantly fearing my art. It’s my profession, and it has to be perfect, and it’s a constant strain. So when it comes to writing, I just don’t let myself care. That’s not to say I don’t edit obsessively and let my perfectionist side play, but because writing is for fun, I don’t fear failing at it. So what if no one reads a story I wrote? I wrote it for me. I wanted to read that story, so I did, and if people hate it, so what. If writing ever became my profession I would likely attach my self worth to it like I do with music, and that’s part of the reason I shy away from that path... I want writing to always be my safe place. Now mechanically, I admit freely that I am the world’s WORST speller. Above that, I also am slightly dyslexic when it comes to right/left, music staff lines, and some words, so I’ll often use the wrong word that sounds the same, you know. Believe it or not my vocab score on the GRE was fucking PERFECT. I just can’t remember how to spell anything, I will legit SPEAK the word I want into Siri and hope she can save my ass. The spelling rules of English are my worse enemy.

6. What is the least “you” story that you like, what was something you really thought you wouldn’t like but ended up loving?

This is so hard because I’m super picky and usually don’t have the patience to wait out things that initially fail to grab my interest. Perhaps... dare I say, the Great British Baking show? I eat none of the things they make. I usually don’t like reality tv or competition shows, they’re too anxiety inducing. But I LOVE this show. I will binge watch it while curled up in bed drinking tea. I now know what a proving drawer is.

7. How do you think about places, locations, settings for your fics?

Usually my plots come ready-made with places. The two are pretty inseparable. I knew PITS would happen in a place like my hometown, that was integral to the story. I knew Until You Remember would be a coastal British village like I’d seen on BBC shows. I knew Flawless would be in NYC, and same with Reindeer Games (apart from the North Pole of course). For Kiss the Girl I did debate between Miami and St. Pete, but having been to both I just... Miami is so wild. I needed a slow, tired place that felt old and forgotten. I guess the real answer to this question is that I set fics mostly in places where I’ve spent time in real life!

8. Give me an example of a scene or plot point in a fic of yours that changed a lot from what you thought it would be

I struggled a lot with the end of Flawless. I’d written this fic and posed all these problems and questions about the nature of love and passion and art and they were all questions I’d been dealing with in my real life and hence I just didn’t have the answers. So I sat on the fic for a while and spent lots of time just thinking, thinking while I put makeup on in the morning, during rehearsal, as I drove places, etc. I remember when the answer “art never needs to be flawless to merit love/people don’t need to be flawless to merit love” hit me, I was sitting on the bathroom counter flossing my teeth or something, and I just jumped up and ran to my notebook. Because that’s a super obvious answer, isn’t it? But I hadn’t been able to find it amidst all the clutter of my questions.

9. Do you consider tags necessary for fics or are they just spoiling the content?

100% necessary. I was super conscious of this for PITS, as the last thing I ever wanted to do was trigger people trying to avoid trauma. Also, as someone who will actively stop movies or shows if I don’t know the ending is happy, I always am clear about that as well. Spoilers and proper tagging aren’t mutually exclusive, in my opinion.

10. Is there any author that inspired you to start writing?

Well... I’ve been writing stories since I was very little, so I’m sure many of my influences have been subconscious ones. However! When Christopher Paolini wrote Eragon, I remember thinking ‘hey if one homeschooled weirdo can do it so can I!”

11. Was there a fic that made you cry?

Pretty sure everything soft and magical that Phoenix @alienfuckeronmain has ever written has made me cry. Including her recent girl direction fic that I had the absolute honor of cheerleading for. I think about that underpass scene all the goddamn time. Um... Nina @pattern-pals wrote this STUNNING girl direction serpent fic that left me a fucking mess, like it was HOLY and I wanted to run to the nearest cathedral and jump in a vat of holy water and scream into stained glass windows, that type of holy. I *sobbed* myself to sleep reading the end of the world fic (I forget the name, I’ll never read it again, it hurt too badly) you know the classic one. God. Ya. Um, but in the GOOD tears category I absolutely bawled at @crinkle-eyed-boo ‘s While You Were Sleeping AU, and I am usually not a rom com sappy type of person but it hit ALL the right notes and I loved it so fucking much.

HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO LONG I’M SORRY! Okay 11 Questions.

1. If you could crawl inside one of your stories and live, which one would it be and why?

2. Is there any imagery you return to again and again?

3. Do descriptions of characters’ clothing factor into your fics a lot, why or why not?

4. Which of your fics would you want adapted to the big screen and why?

5. Are there any place you won’t go with your writing that other’s might think is an usual trigger, i.e. how Indiana Jones hates snakes?

6. Which composer would score your favorite fic and why?

7. Have you ever fallen in love with one of your characters or written a character as a wish-fulfillment perfect partner for yourself?

8. How do you write accents/dialect differences in your fics?

9. Do you ever find yourself re-using words/sentences for kissing or smut? How do you avoid repetition?

10. Which fic author has most touched your soul?

11. If you had to pick only one fic to read over and over again for the rest of your life, what would it be?

@always-aqua @metal-eye @newleafover @lesbianiconharrystyles @pattern-pals @alienfuckeronmain I’m not sure if you’ve all been tagged yet but I think pretty much EVERYONE else has been, however if you haven’t been consider this your tag and please @ me!!!

#11/11/11 #about me #wow this got long so sorry

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago

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Survey #226

“i couldn't take my eyes off her, but that's not what i took off that night.”

So, how are you doing today? I'm mostly fine, I guess. I'm sooooo sleep-deprived from these damn night terrors, so it has me pretty moody. Then I'm bummed as all fuckhell that Sara and I can't be together on our anniversary. What is the last song that you had on repeat? I think it waaaas... "Idiosyncrasy" (it took me five million attempts to spell that right) by Korn. Are you a hedonist/masochist/in between? Neither. The best musical performance you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, but it was WICKED. He did his signature decapitation illusion (how the fuck does that even work??), and the last song (it was a fucking amazing cover of "Another Brick In The Wall") had INCREDIBLE theatrics. I loved it. Who is your favorite drummer? *shrugs* Your favorite guitarist? Idk, really. Maybe Zakk Wylde. A vocalist with the best voice? Freddie Mercury's voice is so versatile and chill-inducing, Amy Lee is an obvious answer, Patrick Stump's voice is just so goddamn sexy, as is Brendon Urie's, as well as wide in vocal range. Do you have a band yourself? Maaaan, that'd be dope. But no. Do you write poetry or song lyrics? I used to write poems aaaaaall the time (y'know, the "I'm 14 and this is deep" kind), and I've actually really wanted to for a while now, but idk about what. Plus my word-weaving capability has drastically declined, so all I'd do is get mad. Your best memories: Meeting Sara, SARA'S FUCKING FACE WHEN SHE SAW ME IN HER BEDROOM ON HER LAST BIRTHDAY OH MY FUCKING GOD, a novel of things with Jason, seeing meerkats at the zoo for the first time, THE DAY GOD NOTICED ME THROUGH A GIF I WORKED WAY TOO HARD ON (I couldn't sleep for three days, and I wish I was kidding), uhhhh. A lot. Your worst memories: The night of the breakup, absolutely and entirely. Nothing compares. It was a slow, paralyzing trauma (don't get pissy about me using that word "as an exaggeration," it was diagnosed as such years ago) that entirely put me into an actual state of shock. I wish that night on absolutely nobody. No one. Funniest thing you've ever seen an animal do? Maaaaan, I could tell you a lot. Probably inarguably the funniest was Ginger (ex's beagle) WITHOUT FAIL losing her shit with jealousy or SOMETHING whenever she noticed Jason and I were doing anything that involved affection without her. That dog would LOSE IT with barking, tail wagging, and climbing all over him, and it was never not funny to see this fatass little dog turn into a living cockblock lmfao. OH YEAH then our late boxer Cali could be baited into howling if you did it sometimes. It was so, so cute. She'd always look so confused but do it anyway. I'm sure there're others; I've grown up with pets my whole life, but those are the only two that come to me now. What is on your mind? I wanna see Sara. Could you ever cheat on your significant other? I physically couldn't stand myself if I ever did. No. Ever been so disgraced that you had homicidal thoughts? Wow no. If so, whom did you wish to assassin? I mean I've talked about Ashley (not my sister) before, but they weren't seriously "homicidal." I wasn't going to actually do anything. If you wish to be famous, what would you want to be famous for? I don't wish it, but let's say I was. Some form of artist. ... Wait, I do want that. Errrmmm OH! A serious wildlife conservator. Do you think humanity is going downhill? Duh. What was the last thing you threw at someone? I have no clue. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? I didn't care. Have you ever ran from the police? I'd prefer to stay out of jail. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeeeaaah... When was the last time you made dinner? me?????? cook????????????? huh?????????????? Do you have any special plans coming up? I'm shooting my sister's gender reveal Sunday. :') Ash and her husband don't know the gender, so I am so fucking excited to see their reactions. Who do you want to be buried next to? Please don't bury me and just take up space. Cremate me and scatter the ashes somewhere, or do SOMETHING meaningful and creative. What is your favorite fish? Like... to eat? I haven't tried very much, but I liked striper forever and ever ago. If you mean visually, probably betta fish. Have you ever won a gold medal? Probably with kid stuff. Do you have any trophies? Also as a kid for A honor roll, as well as dance and sports overall. Do you work out? Oops no. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? It depends on who I'm talking to. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? No? Do you have any hickeys on you? Bitch a girl can wish. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? Been there, finally done that. Will you talk to the person you like tonight? I talk to her every day throughout the day. Who did you last share a bed with? Sara. Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Sara or Mom. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What are you listening to right now? I'm not actually listening to anything, but "Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac is BURIED into my head rn. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? I've never tried to latter actually, but I'd probably still prefer hot chocolate, anyway. Do you make wishes at 11:11? No; I don't believe in that stuff. I have a friend who posts JUST "11:11 <3" or something like that every night on FB, and while it shouldn't, it annoys the fuck out of me. No one cares. Ever been on a golf cart? Yeah. Do you get blizzards where you live? No, never to the point where "blizzard" fits. What’s a biblical truth that you struggle with? lmao When was the last time you did something rebellious? *shrugs* Do you rebel against God a lot? I can genuinely say I don't give a fuck if I do or don't. Do you consider yourself creative? Very. What’s an old hobby that you want to pick back up? Sigh, reading. Do you ever read books to a pet? No. That seems without real purpose... and this is coming from me, an animal worshiper, just about. Like, you know they genuinely have no clue what you're saying or doing, and I highly doubt they're gonna stay still and look at the pictures. Do you have any pets? Two dogs, a cat, a rat, and a snake. What was the theme of your childhood bedroom? It didn't have a set theme. Partially because I grew up with the same room as my little sister, and we had very different interests. What color was your nursery as a baby? I have zero clue. Did I even have a proper nursery??? What was the last surgery you had? Getting a cyst above my asscrack removed lmaoooo. What’s something you prefer to keep private? Sexual history. I am very, very shy talking about that kind of stuff. Who is someone you look up to? *sobs "fischfuck" at the top of my lungs* As a child, did you have people you admired? STEVE IRWIN WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EMOTIONAL DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you good at prioritizing? Eek... I'm unsure, to be honest. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? fuckin' Halloween hoe. Which holiday or season has the best decorations in stores? Soooo Halloween decor=room decor for me tbh lol. Who’s the prettiest YouTuber you watch? She doesn't have her own active YT channel anymore, but Suzy Hanson (GameGrumps' Arin's wife) is a fucking goddess. Oh, and while I've never watched her channel, I've seen Hannah Hart on GMM quite a few times, and she's actually one of my first signals that I wasn't straight because I definitely felt attracted to how naturally beautiful she is. What’s the most shocking thing that’s occurred in your life lately? Finding out my grandma has terminal cancer. How’s the weather been at your part of the world in the past week? It's been fucking hot. Thursday was the hottest October day in NC history, peaking at 100. Disgoostiiiiiing. Have you given something up recently? (for ex., candy, red meat etc.) Uhhhh well, this is semi-recently, I guess: I entirely stopped going to Chick-fil-a in protest of higher-ranking business employees or whatever supporting/making donations to anti-LGBT cults, especially conversion "therapy." What’s the worst thing about autumn? "How fleeting it is. I never feel like I get properly immersed in the experience. I blink and the leaves are gone and Thanksgiving is here and Christmas is right around the corner." <<< Perfect description. What is something you enjoy doing, even if you’re not very good at it? Drawing portraits, maybe. Do you work hard for your money? I don't have a job, never have had a stable one. However, on the occasion I'm hired to take pictures, I. Try. Really. Hard. What’s a song that most people interpret entirely wrong? "Mama I'm Coming Home" by Ozzy Osbourne was first to come to mind; reasonably, people tend to think the song is about his mother, but it's rather about his wife. Calling your wife that is apparently some English petname. When’s the last time you had cake? Wow, idk, actually. I think my niece mighta had some for her birthday in June? I know my nephew had cupcakes. Yeah, I think it was her b-day. Have you ever made your own soda from scratch? I have not. How about your own jam? No. Or pickled something? No. Did you grow anything in your garden this year? No, we don't have one. Or did someone give you something they grew in theirs? No. What’s the most romantic gift anyone’s given to you? Uhhhhhhhhhh idk. Do you like woolly socks? If so, do you ever make your own? NO, especially when you put sneakers over them or something. They feel so constricted. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? A laptop that needs to be replaced, gah. Or fixed. I have a pure black crack and blob stretching across the left side of my screen that is super distracting and obscuring, and the right side of the top half is cracked along the side; I have duct tape to help keep it closed. Otherwise it's a fine laptop, though. Oh wait, and the apostrophe key is missing, so I have to hit the plastic pressure thingy that's easy to miss. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? No. If so, who has been your favorite contestant on AGT? My favorite ever was Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Still have some of his covers on my iPod. Prince Poppycock is also my gay uncle that I would die for. What chore are you behind on? I need to dust my room good lort. Have you ever broken your phone screen? No, actually. Have you ever broke your computer screen? Well, refer to earlier question. I don't know if it's technically "broke," just damaged (it's not an actual scratch, btw; it's beyond the exterior screen). I need to take it somewhere to fix it ahhhhh. What department store do you shop at the most? Wal-Mart. Do you normally use the self-checkout or the regular checkout? Depends on how much we have. If it's just a handful or so, we just go do it ourselves. Which friend will be in your heart no matter what happens between you two? Sara, Megan. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. Have you ever been kicked out of a store? No. OH SHIT NO WAIT, I THINK a friend and I may have wandered into Spencer's once when we were "too young." Or maybe we just got ID'd. Idk, idr. What was the stupidest mistake of your life? Turning a person into my sole source of "real" happiness, giving my entire soul to a flawed human being, being naive about love, all that jazz. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? Well, she unfriended me. We're friends again now tho I think I pissed her off again. Oops. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on YouTube? If yes, which twin is your favorite: Niki or Gabi? I've heard of 'em, but don't know anything about/watch them. What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. The Handmaid's Tale is now right behind it. What do you want for your birthday this year? My '19 birthday has already passed, but if you mean like, my next one, idk. Maybe a new phone considering mine is GODawful with so many problems. Alllllthough I'm entirely aware I'll be putting a tattoo first, so... it depends on what I have, ha ha. Do you like rock music? Yep. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? MOUNTAINS!!!!!!!!!! What do you usually take for headaches? Advil/Ibuprofen. Have you ever switched doctors because of mistreatment? Or moreso carelessness and immeasurable ignorance masked by over-confidence. Do you film or record your doctor’s appointments? ??????????????????????????????? Can you even do that?????????????????? Which accomplishment are you most proud of yourself for? So, this kinda depends. I'm most likely to say "recovery," but I honestly give almost all credit to my psychiatrist and therapists. So I don't usually see *me* as playing a big role in it. Idk. So other days I'll say way more confidently graduating in the top 10% of the graduating class as a senior. Do you feel like you’ve accomplished anything yet with your life? Well yeah. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination I take of Vraylar + Lamictal due to how they interact and being massively responsible for me being stable. What is your favorite vitamin, and why? Do people???????????? have fave vitamins????????????????? List 5 people you know who have never been mean to you. Uh. I think Connie is it out of the people I know well/have known for a long time, lol. Would you rather do a craft project or a science experiment? s c i e n c e b i t c h Do you say garbage, trash, rubbish, or something else? "Trash," usually. Which Bratz doll was your favorite? I didn't have a favorite. Which Barbie doll was your favorite? ^ Which American Girl doll was your favorite? I don't remember. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but I find them veeeeeery pretty when decorated well. What color band and stone does your class ring have? I didn't get one. Can you see the mountains from where you live? No, I wish... What is your favorite Lisa Frank character? angel!!!!!!!!!!!! KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you believe in the power of prayer? Not in the slightest. What color eyes does the person you like/love have? Are they pretty? A beautiful brown. Obviously if I call them beautiful. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon cries. I never really like... showed just how much though. Looking back on when I was a kid, I took embarrassment poorly even then. Other girls thought I was weird for bringing a Psyduck plushy with me to school everyday, everyone in pre-k looked at me like "huh" when I brought my little Snorlax plush in for show-and-tell, I came to a point of only watching it when my sister was asleep, I was too scared to ask for the games, and- jfc okay I'm actually realizing I need to go back to therapy to talk about how deep my AvPD truly is rooted oops lmao. Do you eat chili when you get a hot dog, or do you like it plain? Chili is disgusting. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? No. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? No. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None got to the point of me feeling *actually* drunk. I've only ever been tipsy. When was the last time you acted really immature? *shrugs* Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? Yeah, a few. When is the last time you sat around a campfire? I don't have a clue. Is there an important event coming up at your school? I think? It's some event all freshmen have to attend to all damn day and I'm not looking forward to it. It's for a good cause, but. It's gonna be a drag and I've had two incidents this school year of once collapsing and just last week almost fainting and vomiting just from the heat. Do you have a back-up career choice? What is it? Something with writing, I guess. Well, I ideally want to be a professional photographer but also a zoologist, but if photography goes absurdly well (this is incredibly unlikely, I know, but it's doable), I may not aim for a zoologist career, but get the necessary degree for it as back-up. I want an unquestionably stable back-up choice. My minor is Journalism, so like I mentioned up top, yeah, if things really go shitty, something in writing is an option. Would you ever get caught with a fake ID? No. Do you think religion justifies treating people unequally? I don't see the supposed "rationality" in this at all. No. Are men more attractive with longer or shorter hair? I guess it depends on the person, but I think I'm generally more attracted to men with longer hair. What color was the ink of the last pen you used? Black. Is there a name that you hear and cringe? I can't really say "cringe," but without fail, it's obvious who and what I think of the moment I hear the name "Jason," and it always causes this dull pain in my chest. What color are your dad’s eyes? They're dark brown. When you were a kid, was there a boy/girl that you said you were going to marry? No. Is your favourite TV show very popular? That '70s Show is, and Fullmetal Alchemist is among anime fans, at least. I don't think too many people know about Meerkat Manor, but I know it was and possibly still is Animal Planet's highest-grossing series, so it sure was big for viewers of that channel. What are you absolutely determined to do? Become at least a semi-successful photographer, make a great life with Sara, support my mom one day like she always has me, mostly overcome anxiety, photograph and touch a habituated meerkat of the KMP... a handful of things. Where would you rather be from? Somewhere in the U.S. that's not a homophobic, racist, gun-fucking, Bible-thumping cesspit of closed-minded shits. I love NC. How often do you play sports? Never. What website do you visit most often? YouTube. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn? I stopped this as a young teenager, but I know I was one of those kids who used "retarded" as a substitute for "stupid." I absolutely hate that shit. I also had to unlearn uhhhh... man, I know there's a lot, I'm just blanking right now. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? *shrug* Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? Interesting to me personally, Chicago. Cities that massive are foreign to me. What fad or trend do you hope comes back? Scene fashion was art, don't @ me. What’s the best way to start the day? SLEEPY CUDDLES W/ YOUR S/O. What kind of art do you enjoy most? Man, idk. I love art so much. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? That's a good question. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen? Literally today/yesterday when I watched the secret stream Mark did of gathering viewers to anonymously destroy random but small Twitch streamers' charity goals & he was too motivated and inspiring & everyone was so fucking confused but thankful and it was literally the most inarguably Chaotic Good thing I have ever borne witness to. For three hours I couldn't stop fucking smiling. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Hell if I know. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? lol guess How do you relax after a hard day of work? I don't work. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? TV show? 13 Reasons Why is a hell no. The Human Centipede I wouldn't watch over my dead fucking body. Where would you spend all your time if you could? All my time? Idk. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? Improving the world. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen? I couldn't even try to answer that question. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? I dunno, probably a lot. Maybe food? Ensure it's safe, at least. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you? Not flipping over in the wreck we got in when I was a kid, probably. All factors of it considered, we were told flipping would have been far more likely than my mom managing to keep us on four wheels. What are some small things that make your day better? Multiple things. Sara feeling positive, I'm fucking awful so having a yummy soda gives me a measly drop of Serotonin, I love seeing Venus come out of her rock to wander around, finding a new song to become utterly addicted to is great, cool weather outside... things like that. I'm sure there's more. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford? REALLY want? A trip to South Africa. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? Uhhh idk. Otep, I suppose. As a band, anyway. She's actually the QUEEN of bigoted bitches. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? N/A What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? Oh, idk. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? Still a photographer. Have you ever saved someone’s life? No. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned? People can tell you they'll always be there and still leave in the blink of an eye. What’s something you are self-conscious about? Unconventional interests/hobbies and my body. Have you ever given to any charities? Yes. What was the best compliment you’ve received? Idk. What’s the most immature thing that you do? Not gonna lie, I can act bratty if I don't get something I SERIOUSLY want. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? None, really. What have you created that you are most proud of? A novel of very developed and deep RP characters over the years. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger? Learning German. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of? Mom dying. Being independent. In what situation or place would you feel the most out of place in? Most out of place? Would, like not one I've actually experienced? Uhhh idk. An orgy lmao.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

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iknownothingihearnothing · 6 years ago

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Game of Thrones 8.6 “The Iron Throne”

Well, our watch is over.

I don’t know how to feel, considering this entire season was very up and down and all over the place. Not to mention extremely whiplash-inducing. From Jaime’s whole show arc meaning zip to Daenerys’ roller coaster descent into the “Burn It All” Mad Queen to Cersei’s boring death, season 8 as a whole was NOT GREAT, BOB.

There were a few decent moments in the finale though. Sansa was crowned Queen in the North, so that was awesome. Drogon’s “but mama, wake up!” moment broke my damn heart. Ghost finally got his good boi snuggles.

But overall? Yeesh.

‘Kay, let’s try not to boo and hiss when the “Executive produced and written by David Benioff and D.B. Weiss” credit flashes across the screen.

Try.

As the finale opens, Tyrion is seen wandering through the desecrated streets of King’s Landing, dumbfounded that the Queen he (and many of us) believed in actually did this crap.

He separates from the others while Jon, Davos, and Co. locate Grey Worm about to commit some post-surrender slaughter of some Lannister army soldiers, in the name of the new Queen. Davos suggests he and Jon go speak with Dany while Grey Worm continues his slaughterin’.

If there is one thing you can say for Torgo Nudho, it’s that he’s fiercely loyal.

Tyrion meanders to the crumbling remains of the Red Keep, heads right for the basement, presumably with his fingers and toesies crossed, and realizes the escape to the beachhead where he’d stored his little dinghy is blocked by a rock wall. So he heads to one of the few piles of bricks on the floor and lo and behold--

Really, Cersei and Jaime look more like they are in the middle of a good nap. And there aren’t that many brick piles on the floor. Like they could’ve moved somewhere else in the basement and avoided dying but yanno, plot.

Arya’s picking through the fire-lined streets of King’s Queen’s Landing until she eventually comes to the town square...place. The Redkeepplatz? Der Rotenwohnturmplatz? Where she spies some jubilant Dothraki playing with their horsies. They won, they’re feeling (temporarily) awesome.

Of course, GoT is legally contracted to never go more than a scene or two without featuring the brooding face of Jon Snow, which it does, as he climbs up the stairs leading to Der Roten Wohnturm. Naturally, the gold and red lion banners of the Lannisters have been removed (and likely thrown into a corner somewhere for the Dothraki horses to poop on) and in their place is one big Targaryen one.

Rather reminiscent of a dog pissing on a fire hydrant, is it not?

So Brooding Jon and his wolfhead cane (I am still pissed that he didn’t beat off any errant Dead with it, I must say) climb up the steps under Grey Worm’s disapproving eye--remember, Jon has been kinda against slaughterin’ Lannister soldiers who already surrendered to which Grey Worm is all *Pikachu gasp face*--to meet his Queen/sort of girlfriend/aunt, who makes her grand entrance like this:

Fabulous, dahlink! Dany is like a catwalk walker at a high-high-fashion Milan event. In fact, if Versace or John Paul doesn’t hire Emilia Clarke to recreate just this moment for the next Fashion Week (yanno, the one at Milan or Paris or New York, not at, like, Tallahassee Fashion Week), I will not buy any more of their products. Not that I could before.

No, she didn’t paste dragon wings to her back. It’s just Drogon. But the shot sure looks cool!

Daenerys catwalks out to her adoring public--quite a lot of adoring public.

Srsly. I thought from the glimpse of trailer that all those soldiers were, idk, surrendered Lannister Army who’d sworn fealty or something. Weren’t most of her forces annihilated during the Battle of Winterfell? There were certainly not this many after Drogon Dracarysed the crap out of the K.L. gates and they burst into the city walls.

There is raucous cheering and whooping...from the Dothraki. The Unsullied just sort of stand there and bang their poles against the ground because they are boring.

Dany gives a rousing speech about the Dothraki being the blood of her blood, they kept all her promises to her, defeated her enemies, blah blah, and Drogon roars as if it is a football game.

She makes Grey Worm her Master of War, which he kinda was all this time, just now it’s official. I guess he gets better pay now.

Dany switches tongues and addresses the Unsullied in High Valyrian. The Dothraki are there like “Dafuq is she talking about?” Just as the Unsullied were before. She calls them “liberators”.

Audience:

You should really stop using that word, Dany. English teachers would red-pen all over this essay.

Dany continues in her exuberant High Valyrian that they will not stop until every man, woman, and child in the world, from Winterfell to Dorne and Lannisport to Qarth, has experienced her flavor of “mercy”.

Arya’s in the back watching like--

Is it me or is this victory speech rather...”Hitler giving a rousing oration at a Nazi rally” esque?

Arya may not be loving this but the Unsullied, with their *tap tap* and the Dothraki excitedly raising their Arakhs and Scimitars in glee, sure do. Tho idk exactly what has the Dothraki so riled up. Dany’s still speaking High Valyrian; they have no idea what she’s saying.

Tyrion is not happy with Dany either. Probably because she killed his brother and burned a shitload of people. He walks up to her as she winds up her Hitlerish speech and she looks at him with some of that ice borrowed from the North. In English, she accuses him of committing treason for freeing Jaime. He in turn meets her gaze and throws away his Hand to the Queen pin.

Dany orders Tyrion taken away, presumably to be Dracarysed. And Jon is watching all this happening like this:

We’ve all done it, don’t lie. “I know he has a swastika tattoo on his face but he’s only a Nazi on the weekends!”

Dany meets his gaze silently telling him to “respect mah authoritah”--

--and she walks away with Unsullied flanking her. I am not sure where to. Half of the Red Keep is in ruins.

As Jon watches, Arya appears beside him like a ghost. He asks her what she is doing here and what happened and the audience goes in tandem--

What do you think happened, Jon?! Your girlfriend torched the city. Arya’s there in the city. You think she magically poofed there covered in dirt?

You still know nothing, Jon Snow.

Arya confesses that she came to kill Cersei, who of course died the most boring and undeserving death. Her presence right now is solely to remind Jon that Dany knows his true name and heritage and because of that he will always be a threat to her.

Jon goes to visit Tyrion in isolation--handing over his cane, which for a second I thought was an umbrella; I now think every Great House should have a House Umbrella--and the first thing he asks is thus:

Tyrion is disappoint but thanks Jon for coming to see him anyway. It is ironic, he pontificates. He is the one who told Dany of Varys’ treasonous acts and now he’s getting the Drac for the same thing. Well now Varys’ ashes can say “I told you so”. He then asks Jon if there is life after death. Cus, you know, Jon would know. But Jon does not remember any. Tyrion is relieved. Oblivion is all he can hope for after choking Shae, shooting Daddy Tywin with a crossbow, and betraying Dany.

And he is prettttttttyyyy sure the war ain’t over. Dany will go on “liberating” until everyone is “free”--and of course by “free” I mean either loyal or barbecued.

Jon is checked in at Justification Station:

Tyrion asks him if he would’ve done it. After all, he’d been on the dragon’s back before. Jon stutters that he doesn’t know but Tyrion, and all of us, know he would not have. Tyrion is probably speaking to the same portion of the audience who loves Dany when he bites out that “Everywhere she goes, evil men die and we cheer her for it” and that portion, of which I count myself, reply--

Why wouldn’t we? When she Dracarysed those assholes at Astapor, I fistpumped like Pauly D.

Jon slumps down on a nearby stool. “Love is the death of duty” Maester Aemon said long ago. But, Tyrion posits, maybe duty is the death of love. Jon always tried to do the right thing by the people. Who is the biggest threat to the people now?

Tyrion knows that he’s asking Jon to do a horrible thing, but it’s the right thing. After all, Jon is the most dangerous person in the world to her, being the rightful heir. Alas, Jon stutters that it’s Dany’s decision as Queen, I guess whether to kill him or not, tells Tyrion he’s sorry he’s gon’ be Dracarysed, and is about to leave when Tyrion tries one last ditch by bringing up Sansa and Arya. They’ll never be loyal to Dany, and Jon will have to choose.

With lots to think about, Jon goes to confront Dany, who is prowling around the mess she made of the Red Keep. Drogon, as always, is faithfully standing guard beneath a pile of ash. Or is it snow? Is there snow in the capital? Questions.

Inside (I...guess?), Dany ventures into the once glorious throne room, which now looks like this:

Hope you have a good Master of Coin in mind, Dany.

The new Queen is stunned and delighted about finally coming face to face with the Iron Throne.

Yes. Hundreds of swords all melded together sounds fabulous for my back. Why does everyone want to sit in this thing so badly?

That is when Jon shows up. He begs Dany to spare the lives of the remaining Lannister prisoners. Tyrion from the impending doom of the dragon’s breath. Dany shakes her head. They cannot get by on “small mercies” when there is a whole world who needs...mercy. It will be a good world, she insists. She will make Jon see that it will be a good world.

He asks about everyone else. The people who “don’t know what’s good”. Dany’s reply: “They don’t get to choose.”

Dany wraps Jon in her arms and demands he be with her because they’re fated, they’ll break the wheel together, blah blah

And for a moment, just a moment, it almost appears to be working. They kiss passionately, there’s a glint of metal, Dany looks shocked. And then...

Yeah, I didn’t spoil myself, though the season eight plots were easily accessible on Reddit. Probably posted by an annoyed PA who is firmly in the “this season blew” camp. In fact, I am willing to bet it’s the same guy who left The Cup in 8.4. He did it on purpose.

But still, though I had a feeling Daenerys would not make it out of the finale alive, I was not prepared. It makes total sense for Jon to ultimately kill Dany, as he is the only one who could get close enough to her to do it aside from Grey Worm, who would never, and, of course, Drogon. There is a poetic irony to having the man who loves her ultimately be her end.

And yet...

Poor Jon. Two girlfriends, both dead.

As Jon cradles her, Drogon starts creepin’. His dragon senses tell him that something’s happened to his mommy. Jon lays his deceased lady love on the floor and Drogon creeps up behind him, scaring the pants off him. He pads over to Dany’s inert body, trying to wake her up.

All together now:

I literally aww’d out loud when I first watched this. Twice. On Twitter, people have likened this scene to Simba pawing at a deceased Mufasa after the wildebeest stampede in The Lion King. It’s pretty reminiscent. “Mom? Mom? Wake up, we got the Iron Throne now!”

Realizing that his mama really is dead, Drogon is not happy. He growls at Jon, rears up, and fire swirls at the back of his throat. Jon, for his part, remains stoic. I suppose he thinks he deserves this after becoming a Queenslayer.

But Drogon spares him, perhaps unable to harm a Targaryen? Instead, he takes his ire out on the ironically defenseless throne made of dead men’s swords.

He melts the fuck out of that throne until it’s nothing but molted metal. No one entirely knows why, but two theories are prevalent. One, that Drogon understood that it was really the Iron Throne that killed his mother in the end, her ambition to lead, and not Jon. Dragons are supposed to be incredibly intelligent. And two, as Leslie Jones put it, “If my mama can’t have it, ain’t nobody having it!”

Once the evil pointy chair is gone, Drogon cradles Dany’s body in his talons and flies away with her.

And I’m dead.

Oh, I’m so sad for Drogon. First the Night King took Viserion. Then, Captain Underpants shot down Rhaegal. Now his mom’s gone.

I want to hug him.

The next day, Grey Worm and Co. come for Tyrion, but instead of being Dracarysed, he’s led to the Dragonpit, where various heads of Great Houses are assembled to discuss What To Do Now--yanno, that Jon Snow killed the Queen. Yara wants him dead, as well as the Prince of Dorne. Arya threatens to cut her throat if she says that again. Davos, as usual, is the voice of reason. He tries to bribe Grey Worm with the Reach but the Unsullied do not want payment; they want justice.

Tyrion says it’s not for Grey Worm to decide, and Grey Worm is pissed. But it’s for their King or Queen to decide, and the powerful people before him must pick one.

Grey Worm’s like--

He is not all in on this idea but he’s gonna humor it.

Sam starts to suggest democracy but everyone’s like LOL.

Edmure Tully, aka Tobias Menzies, aka Frank/Black Jack Randall on Outlander, who we haven’t seen since season six, rises and attempts to make a case for himself being named King. Sansa has no time for his antics.

Burn after reading, Edmure.

Honestly, I’d have preferred this side character we haven’t seen for two seasons over the guy they actually picked. Tyrion, who, I may remind, is the prisoner here, makes a case that the best man/woman (it’s a man) for the job is someone with “the best story”. Okay, cool, I can get behind that.

And then he says, “Who has a better story than Bran Stark?”

Uh...

Let’s see, of the remaining nobles, Sansa has overcome a shitload of adversity to become a really kickass, strong leader of her House, Arya was raised a spoiled little girl and could’ve lived off that but instead threw all those trappings aside to transform into a literal assassin, Brienne is now the first woman knight in all of Westeros, Tyrion went against his House to support a southern Queen and survived a false accusation of poisoning his nephew by his sister, Sam was sentenced to the Night’s Watch by his jackass of a father only to find love, family, and survive the Battle of Winterfell, Yara was kidnapped by her pirate uncle, lost her brother, and is now Queen of the Iron Islands, and Jon, well Jon, what didn’t Jon fucking do?

Bran was carried around by the poor dude whose head he fucked with for a few years and spent this season being an unemotional robot.

Tyrion asks Bran if he’s up to the role and Bran replies--

.....!

............!!!!!!!!

WHAT HAPPENED TO “I CAN’T BE THE LORD OF WINTERFELL, I’M THE THREE-EYED RAVEN”?! Even Isaac Hempstead-Wright said when he originally got the script, he thought it was a joke.

We’re supposed to believe he is not up to the task of lording Winterfell but the Seven Kingdoms? No problem.

I’m sorry, the Six Kingdoms. Sansa will not agree to appoint Bran King unless he gives the North independence, which he does.

Six Kingdoms does not sound as good, y’all.

Bran’s a Six Chick now.

So everyone votes and the newfound oligarchy of Westeros toast to their new KingBot.

They call him Bran the Broken because every royal needs a nickname. It’s kind of insulting but I highly doubt Westeros was at all #woke.

I like my ideas better.

Bran makes Tyrion his Hand to make up for all his mistakes in the past, and Grey Worm bugs out because he’s a criminal and deserves justice. But Bran is now a KingBot and can do what he wants so there!

Tyrion, saved from execution, reports to a reckt-looking Jon that KingBot has decided to send him to the Night’s Watch, which still exists for some reason. He will take no wife, bore no children, etc, al., we’ve heard the spiel before.

Jon asks Tyrion if what they did was right because he feels like shit and Tyrion tells him to ask him again in ten years. So they don’t even know if killing Dany was a good thing or a bad thing.

As Jon ambles through the docks, he passes Grey Worm’s ship. One of the Unsullied lets him know in High Valyrian that all the men are on board and wistfully he nods his reply.

Naath, being of course, Missandei’s home. Grey Worm and the Unsullied are fulfilling a promise he made to Missandei before the Battle of Winterfell--that he would accompany her back home to protect her people from slavers. Now, sans Missandei, he is keeping that promise.

At the docks, Sansa asks Jon if he can forgive her. He is a better person than I because I would’ve been like--

Jon tells her the North has its independence because of her, they hug, and he moves onto Arya. She can’t visit him at the Night’s Watch because she is going on an adventure! She’s gonna start world-building. Arya the World-Builder!

She’s going west of Westeros. For the glory of the Starks and the North. Maybe start a colony there and push some indigenous people onto reservations.

Next, Jon goes down the line to bid goodbye to his new KingBot.

Seven Six Hells, it’s a good thing this is the finale because calling BranBot “Your Grace” and bending the knee to him will never not be super odd.

Jon tells him he’s sorry he wasn’t there when KingBot needed him and KingBot assures him he was exactly where he was supposed to be with that creepy blank face. Y’all may as well have installed HAL as King.

In the miraculously intact and debris-free Red Keep, the new Commander of the Kingsguard is searching through the Big Book of Westerosi Knights For Dummies--

--for Jaime’s entry, I guess to complete his story, and somehow she finds the wherewithal not to be catty.

There, Brienne. Fixed it for you.

At the small council table, Tyrion reverently sits in the seat of the Hand to the King while the rest of the council comes pouring in. Sam places a thick tome in front of Tyrion, and when he asks what it is, Sam proudly states that it’s A Song of Ice and Fire, a history of the wars following Robert’s Rebellion and death.

There isn’t much that takes me out of the experience more than mentioning the title of the show I’m watching. And although this is Game of Thrones, we all know it’s based on the ASoIaF book series.

By Archmaester Ebrose, eh? You sure it wasn’t, say, Archmaester Jyrge of House Martyn?

The in-universe AsoIaF doesn’t even mention Tyrion, which is hilarious.

Brienne and KingBot enter and everyone stands and calls him “Your Grace” and we snicker. At the table, the first thing KingBot does is ask about the missing Masters of Whisperers, Law, and War. And also where Drogon is. Sam says he is flying east but KingBot seems determined to find him.

What’s he gonna do, warg into Drogon? You leave that poor baby alone, KingBot! In a short time, he’s lost both his brothers and his mother. He’s totally alone. Don’t bother him no more!

#LeaveDrogonAlone!

Before Podrick, who is now Ser Podrick, takes him away, everyone stands to salute their KingBot.

Maybe I’m a broken record, but Bran being crowned King is like getting an A+ on the presentation when you spent the whole prep time playing Words With Friends on your phone.

When he leaves, the remaining small council members discuss rebuilding the armada and distributing wealth responsibly. Bronn has been named Lord of the Reach and is now Master of Coin. His first priority as such is--

Naturally.

Tyrion also comes to the conclusion that after extensive research into the sewers at Casterly Rock, clean water=healthy people.

No!

The camera slowly pulls out on our happy merry men (and woman) of the council so I guess that means that is the last time we will see them.

At Castle Black--

And so fast? Are all the builders in the North drinking Four Loko or what?

There, waiting, is Tormund, like he’s Leo at the end of Titanic. He knew Jon would be back. Because he’s “got the real North in him”.

In all corners of Westeros, the Starks are doin’ their thang. Arya is setting sail for places unknown, brandishing the Stark sigil.

Sansa is attending her coronation of Queen in the North after winning the Northern independence.

And Jon is among the wildlings at Castle Black. He seems to be searching for someone in particular amongst the throng.

And then, he finds him!

It’s Ghost! The goodest good boi in the wide world finally got his snuggles from his Daddy.

He deserves all the love and treats because he’s the best boi.

Yes, he is! Yes, he is!

The finale closes with Tormund and Jon leading the Free Folk into the woods. Hmm..

Is Jon destined to be the King Beyond the Wall now? We’ll never know for sure because the show is over. But there is always fanfiction.

I am reading one right now where Jon and Dany meet in Pentos before she is crowned Khaleesi. It’s good shit.

So, uh, pros: Sansa being crowned Queen in the North was awesome. She deserved it. I can see Arya as an explorer. Cons: KingBot. WHY?! I cannot see him being the “great king” the other characters think he will be. He has no emotion, which is why he is KingBot. The first thing he does upon calling to order his first small council meeting is wondering where the fuck Drogon is so he can kill him. And it’s not enough that he’s elsewhere in the east. KingBot has to warg into him or into something near him to get his exact location. Idkkk him being King is pretty absurd.

The finale was a week ago and I’m still in mourning for Dany. I’m in mourning for how fast the writers took her to Mad Queen status. I like the theory that Drogon is flying to Volantis to have Kinvara of the Red Priesthood revive her so that she can come back to Westeros and kick ass and take names.

In the meantime, and forevermore, the wheel keeps on spinning...

#game of thrones #game of thrones recap #game of thrones 8 #emilia clarke #Kit Harrington #maisie williams #Sophie Turner #isaac hempstead wright #peter dinklage #gwendoline christie

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misformarvel · 7 years ago

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Three: choices (part II)

Part II of “Three”. I really need to get better at the whole naming thing.

Tom Holland x reader x Harrison Osterfield.

Warnings: my shitty use of the English language. Angst, toxic relationship, cursing, things heating up, idk.

A/N: Tom, if you ever read this, this is so not what I think of you babe, I love you.

Also, this isn’t the end. First, because I don’t really like the course the story had taken. Second, because I think there are things that should be better explained. Third, because I think It’ll be ok to make a fic named “Three” a three-part fic, lol.

As I said I don’t really like this “chapter” but let’s hope you guys do and we can get a decent final episode for this telenovela, haha.

Part I link

***

No tone. Nobody answered the fucking phone. Not even Y/N. Harrison tried with Tom. Neither him. A thousand thoughts running through his aching mind.

“No one then?” Maria was cleaning the bar for the last time, her shift was over, it was time to go home.

“Nope, apparently I don’t have any friends”

“What about your family then? A brother, a cousin?” She was really worried about the blond guy, he looked like a mess.

“No, n-no way. Well, maybe my sister. No, not my sister. Don’t want my mum to know I’m like this”. His headache was growing in intensity. Haz remembered he came in his own car, he didn’t want to share a ride with the lovebirds.

“What the fuck are you doing!?” Maria yelled at him as soon as she noticed he was playing with the car keys. “There's no way you get into that car in this state”.

“I can’t leave the car here. It’s not really mine and if something happens to the bloody car my agent will kill me”.

“Well, better to be killed by your agent than drive this drunk and end up killing yourself or even worst, someone else”.

Haz was getting pissed. With himself for ignoring Maria when she told him to stop drinking, with Y/N for not answering his calls and messages, with Tom for being an arse, and with Maria for caring about him. After all, who the hell is Maria?

“Do you know how…” he said, shaking the keys on her face.

“What!?” She said, getting a little tired of dealing with another drunk guy.

“Could you drive me home please?” now he was using all of his charms. She saw it in his movies. Maria crooked an eyebrow and Haz smirked a little. She rolled her eyes and grabbed the keys. She practically had to drag him out of the club, the boy could barely stand on his feet.

“Okay, Harrison, where do you live then?” the girl asked while she adjusted her seatbelt. She didn’t get an answer. Harrison fell asleep as soon as she placed him in the passenger seat.

God, I’m trying to be a nice person, why’d you make this so hard for me?

“C’mon Haz, wake up, you haven’t told me where do you live!” Maria softly slapped Harrison’s cheeks, trying to “resuscitate” him. “I can’t believe I’m going to do this”. She tried to reach his left pocket, searching for his phone. “I must be driving completely insane,” the thought out loud. Harrison was still fast asleep, it looked more like he had passed out. “Ok prince charming, got your phone, I’ll need your thumb now. That’s it… unblocked. Gotta tell I’m a fucking genius”.

A little bit annoyed by her own rambling, María put the seatbelt on again and searched for the address on his phone. Thankfully the place was quite near, about twenty minutes apart from the club.

“Wh-What happened!? Where am I!?”

“Good morning sleeping-beauty” the attractive girl leans a little bit into him. He was hella confused, but surprisingly, he remembered her.

Still sore and dizzy, Haz asked Maria one last favor, to walk him upstairs. “How did we even get here?” he mumbled astonished by how quickly they arrived at his flat.

“Well, I got my methods” she laughed nervously. “I had to take your phone from your pocket”

“Huh, so you got your hands on my pocket,” Harrison said with a cheeky grin. “Don’t blush sweetheart, I’m just messing with you. Thank you so so much for this”.

The young pair finally arrived at the boy’s flat. Maria walked slowly beside him, still holding Harrison by his arm. She couldn’t believe what was happening, it was so fucking surreal. It’s not like she had a crush on him, but she totally did a couple of years before. She remembered so well how obsessed with him her friends were in high school. They’d totally freak out when she told them. Actually, she wasn’t sure about telling someone.

“So, this is my, this is my” Harrison pointed a white double door.

“End of the tour, I guess”. María looked at him like it was the last time she would, taking her time to admire one last time all of his perfect features. He was a mess from the rough night he had, but was still incredibly beautiful, just like in the movies.

“I know you’ve done enough for a lifetime without even know me but, I’d really like you to come in and grab some coffee. I’ll call you a cab, I, I’ll pay for it too”.

“I don’t think is a good idea, Harrison,” she said, a little bit sad it was going to end, but the sooner she’ll back to her normal life, the less she’ll miss being Harrison Osterfield’s guardian.

“Mar, I insist” He begged, holding her hands, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

***

All her life Y/N wanted things she couldn’t have. Her mother used to say it was impossible, she had everything a person could ever want.

It was always the same. He loved her, he made her feel wanted. She felt like he was her entire world. Then he gets mad at some stupid, meaningless thing. They yelled and hurt each other's feelings. But after the storm, he’d be back, apologizing for being a jerk and inviting her to come back to him. She feels safe, loved and wanted until the cycle restarts again.

Tom’s rage disappeared. He looked sad now. He wanted so bad to go back to that peaceful moment before the storm. Why’d she had to bring Haz into that place. A place that was actually a moment, a moment that was so sacred to him. He hated Haz, but he loved Haz. After all, he was his best friend.

“I know I did exaggerate, but please let me make it up to you, Y/N. Please?”

“I don’t care if you feel sorry now. Do you know how you made me feel?” Y/N was hurt. She really loves Tom, she always did. When they first met she thought she’d never had a chance, and now they were together and she was so happy. Until she had to open her damn mouth.

“I... I love you Y/N. I don’t want to share you with anyone. I definitely don’t want to share you with him anymore”.

“The fuck are you saying?”

“Y/N... It has always been the three of us. Can’t we just be two for once?”

“Be honest with yourself. Are we even a thing? You’re technically hiding me”. Y/N felt a knot forming in her throat, locking her words inside. She was trembling, trying so hard to do not cry again, not in front of him.

“You know I’m doing this because people will freak out and they won’t leave us alone. Plus they’re obsessed with you and him being a thing. They’ll hate you. Going public would destroy your career right now”. Tom sounded calm and analytic as if they weren’t in the middle of their worst crisis yet.

He was practically asking her to cut off Haz.

“But screw them” he added. “I don’t give a damn about press, our publicists, the fans… I, I only care about you and me Y/N”. Tom closes the gap between them, forcing Y/N into his embrace, resting his forehead on hers. She melted at his touch, she always did. She was asking him to be hers and forget about the world. Yet it was easier than what he asked, be his and forget about the only person that has always been there for her.

“I love you Tom” She hesitatingly tried to reach his face, her hands trembling a little. He intercepted her movements, taking her hands on his and kissing both of them. He was so smitten, Y/N couldn’t resist that image. She loved him so much. There was nothing she wouldn’t give up to be with him. Tom grabbed her face and looked deep into her eyes. Words were unnecessary. He knew he had won. Y/N was already sorry for the words she’ll pronounce. “I’m not gonna talk to him anymore”.

“But love, the movie...”. Tom’s excitement disguised in worry. He knew how hard it would be to tear their friendship apart, but he was determined.

“I think is the best for all of us. If he can’t understand we are together, well, he’s not worthy of our friendship”. Y/N listened to her own words in disbelief. What was she doing? Haz did absolutely nothing.

“You know what, let me talk to him. You don’t have to worry. We’ll fix this”. He pressed his lips on hers, not lovingly, but reaffirming he was in total control of her. “And then we’ll see if we can tell everyone about us”.

***

“You don’t have to do this”. A badly injured Captain Smith rested on the nursery’s litter. Y/N’s character, Eliza, had to clean the wounds on his abdomen. She could notice the goosebumps she was inducing to Haz, every time her hands lowered down his toned torso. She tried to swallow the knot in her throat, the nervousness taking her down at the thought of her most recent fight with Tom.

-”Y/N! Your lines darling!”

Director’s words took her out of her trance. She gave a little jump, everyone in set noticing she was long gone from there.

-”CUT! Let’s give her a moment”. The director let out with a frustrated sigh. The woman guessed something was wrong but didn’t want to confront the actors yet.

-”What’s wrong with you today? It’s the third time we have to take a break because you seem to be on Uranus” Harrison point out, clearly pissed by her attitude.

Y/N looked down and whispered “None of your business”, Haz propped out of the litter, trying not to soil everything with the fake blood, and glanced at her with incredulity.

-”Ok, I think we need to come clean Y/N, we’re friends, and we have a film to shoot. So, please, be honest. Did I make something to fuck up things between us?”.

Y/N looked away. She didn’t want to confront him about how weird he was acting since she was with Tom. Neither ask him if he was in love with her, as she thought out loud the other day before starting all this drama.

“I’m your friend Y/N. I’ll always be. I know I may have been a little bit of a dickhead lately. But it’s hard to me to see you together. Thridweeling it’s not okay with me. Also, I don’t like the way you’re dealing with all this hiding your relationship thing. It’s absurd. If you’re dating Tom and you’re happy about it you shouldn’t be leaving the club 30 minutes after he did and using another exit. Maybe I’m mistaken and maybe I shouldn’t interfere with your relationship, but I love you guys. And I think you’ll hurt each other”

Silence took place after Haz. His friend looked directly at him for the first time in the day. About to burst into tears, Y/N almost threw herself at his arms.

“I’m the one who’s a dickhead Haz. For a moment I even thought you had a thing for me and I… I told him and he got so mad at me Haz. It’s us who’ve been dickheads towards you” she sobbed, holding him close. “I even thought you had a thing for me” that’s all he heard. “Me too,” he told to himself.

Y/N broke the hug to notice she soiled her nurse uniform and started to laugh nervously, her contagious giggles making grow the grin on Harrison’s face.

“We good now, I suppose”. The blond guy softly punched his friend arm. She nodded and hit him back.

“Yeah, I guess we’re good” Y/N replied, whipping off some tears.

The director calls them back to set, instantly getting that things were fixed between them and they could finally road the scenes they’ve programmed for the day.

“Blood looking good on your suit Nurse Eliza” she said to Y/N, quickly winking at her.

***

Tom and Y/N were alright. Sometimes he would make some rude comments about how much time she shared with Haz on set, but he couldn’t go too far because Y/N’s mom makes sure to keep him in line. All that woman cared about was Y/N’s public image and she would not tolerate a scandal, that’s why they all agreed they would keep their relationship out of the public eye until the release of Harrison and Y/N’s movie. It worked as a “pilot” for their romance as well. Ursula, her mom, was convinced Tom was just another one of her daughter’s whims and she wanted to test them as a couple, to see if it was convenient to launch them as the next big thing.

It was hard for Y/N, because everyone was pushing her to do things she wasn’t completely sure of. Her days with Tom were happy, as long as nobody mentioned Haz in front of him. Don’t fool yourself, Tom was still being friends with Harrison and going out with him to bars and UFC nights, but as he did with Y/N, Tom treated Haz like shit as soon as someone asked the blond guy why wasn’t she there with them. Harrison wasn’t having it, so he tried to avoid Tom, but, also as he did with Y/N, he always came back apologizing and making promises of being a good friend for him, as in the good ol’ times.

The shooting was a real challenge for Harrison. He cursed himself and his agent for getting him into such a mess. Every time he had to kiss her, touch her, fictionally made love to her, Harrison was regretting having that part. He was also regretting to never have had the guts to made a move on her. He laughed at himself for respecting those absurd codes Tom didn’t.

“Okay, so I really like Y/N” a young boy once said to his best mate.

“Aye mate, she’s fit. But we both fancy her, so I guess none of us is getting it”.

They were 16. Y/N was already world-wide famous and way out of their league. Even tho, she not just noticed them, she made them part of her life. It has been like that for the past 14 years. The three of them. But now Tom wanted something different, and deep inside him, Harrison wanted it too.

***

“Wow, so much chemistry! Tell me some of this is reflected on the big screen!”.

“Sure. I mean, when you have to play a role like ours, where you need to recreate such a special and tight bond, I think the best thing that could ever happen is to do it with someone you already have something special. For me, to be in this movie with my best friend is amazing, a wonderful experience”. Y/N was nervous but she could handle this scenario as a true professional. Harrison proudly nodded at every single word of her little speech.

“Guys, seriously, look at you, this can’t be just a friendship”

-”Actually, we’re not just friends. We’re family. But let me stop you there before you keep addressing dating rumours, Y/N’s taken”. Harrison smiled all the time, knowing exactly what he was doing.

Trembling, Y/N had to reset her mind quickly, for the reporter would be avid to know who was the lucky one. “Y-Yeah, I… I’m in a relationship” was all she could say.

“Wow, that’s a scoop! Y/N finally got herself a sweetheart” the young woman let out a small giggle, followed by Harrison, who kept a hand pressed on the small of Y/N’s back, making sure she wouldn’t run away.

“Yes, she’s dating our friend Tom. For half a year now, actually”. It’s over now, you fucking moron, Harrison was enjoying to finish Tom’s charade.

“Tom frigging Holland!?” Wow wow wow, so all this time we’ve been playing the fools thinking you were dating the wrong friend! This is the hottest reveal of the year!” it was too much to process for the young journalist, she was expecting to make just a cute interview to this Hollywood sweethearts and found something way better. It was way harder to process to Y/N, who felt like she was about to faint.

“We wanted to take it slow, you know, because we’ve been friends for so long. Thankfully we have all of our friends support, especially yours” she faced Harrison. Y/N Y/L/N wouldn't let anyone humiliate her, not even Harrison. He nodded in response, a satisfactory grin on his face, unknowingly she was having the reaction he expected from her. It wasn't Haz intention to bother Y/N. Thomas was the target of this little number he was giving to the press.

“So where's Tom tonight? His girlfriend and best friend are premiering a movie that it's said gonna be a complete success” those words echoed in Y/N’s ears. She didn't know where he was exactly. He told her about a super secret Marvel project, but he had always shared Marvel secrets with her.

“Oh he couldn’t make it tonight, he’s working and he was terribly sorry this afternoon when we talked but it’s alright. It’s part of our jobs”. Y/N stated, she was dealing with the interview as well as she could but wanted it to end as soon as possible.

“Yeah it’s a real shame, we love Tom, it would be nice to have him with us tonight” Harrison finished the interview with those words. Y/N’s mom was in the nine cloud. The news of Y/N and Tom’s romance were on every social media. That was something good because everyone was talking about her and all press is good press, although, Ursula was a little bit pissed because she wasn’t in control of it. The publicists freaked out, they started to receive hundreds of offers and every media wanted an exclusive interview with the new Hollywood power couple. Anna Wintour herself texted Ursula to offer Y/N the iconic September issue of Vogue. Harrison gave her an early Christmas present. She barely noticed her daughter was about to have a breakdown. Harrison realized he acted blinded by the ressentiment growing between him and Tom “What have I done?” he asked himself, deeply sorry about ruining his friend’s special night.

“I’m sorry” he murmured before the movie started playing, and held her hand the entire time.

“I’m not ready to hear you’re sorry” she responded. And it was the last words he heard from her for the rest of the night.

***

“Two weeks. Only two weeks and he couldn’t keep it in his pants”

Y/N wasn’t listening. She didn’t care her mom’s reaction. She didn’t care about every fucking site posting those pictures. She didn’t care about her fanbase talking about how Harrison would have never done that to her. Because Harrison did. If he wouldn’t open his mouth in the premiere’s night, the humiliation wouldn’t be public, and it would have made it a lot more bearable.

She took her keys and texted her security detail. She was not going to stay one more second with Ursula ranting about how Tom ruined everything for them and how she ruined her career. It was just her boyfriend cheating. She was not found guilty of a child’s murder or something like that. She was just another girl who had fallen on his web. Pun not intended.

The ride to Harrison’s place was quiet. She found a couple of minutes of peace. Brandon, her bodyguard was explaining her a strategy he diagramed to avoid paparazzi once they arrive. She couldn’t pay attention to him, no matter how much she tried. Her mind was all over those pictures of Tom kissing and hugging a mysterious girl in Hawaii, while he supposedly should be reshooting some scenes in Marvel’s studios in Atlanta.

“We’re here Y/N. Did you get our plan?”

She didn’t reply. As soon as she put a foot outside the car paps were all over her. She looked down and made her way to the building. Lucky she had a key.

Harrison heard the knock at the door. He hasn’t talked to her but he was waiting for Y/N anyways. The blond man took a deep breath before opening his front door, preparing himself to deal with a broken Y/N.

-”You bloody moron, you did. You ruined my life, you ruined my life” she punched him as many times as she could before collapsing into his arms. He held her tightly, scratching her scalp while rubbing her back and whispering that he was sorry and that everything was going to be alright.

-”Why did you tell everyone we were dating? If you didn’t I would not be so exposed now, I wouldn’t have to stand my mother blaming me for all this. I would not be the poor idiot in front of everyone” Y/N recriminated to Harrison between sobs and screams. She continued beating him and he was still having her in a hug.

They remained in silence for a couple of minutes until she stopped shaken, calmed down by the sound of his heartbeats. She started caressing Harrison’s arms with the gem of her fingers. Softly, up and down tracing patterns on her friend’s skin. He didn’t let go of her, now rounding her delicate form with his arms, resting his crossed hands on the small of her back.

She found peace for a moment. The peace she was looking for in the car trip. The peace she needed when she picked up her keys and left her mom talking on her own. Is him she thought. He is my peaceful place.

Y/N placed a timid, almost imperceptible kiss on his collarbone. Then her lips started their way to the sweet spot on his neck. Haz titled his dead a bit, succumbing to temptation. How many times he daydreamed with this moment.

“Y/N no, please stop,” Harrison said, do not believing the words slipping from his lips. “You don’t want this and neither I” he added while gently pushed her to separate their bodies.

Y/N insisted, kisses were gaining in eagerness, getting sloppier and wetter. Her lips traveled from his neck to his earlobe, to bite it softly and murmur sweet nothings into his ear.

Harrison woke up from his trance before it was too late when a door slammed behind them.

“Listen to me kid. You better go back from where you came”. Y/N didn’t recognize the young brunette who came out from Harrison’s bedroom wearing nothing but one of his t-shirts and boxers. “You had your shot and you choose the cheating bastard”. Harrison gulped at the sight of Maria, leaving their now shared bedroom to claim him for herself.

-”Who the fuck are you?” Y/N said, trying to compose herself from the rollercoaster of emotions running through her body and mind.

-”I’m the one who’s gonna kick you out, darling. You’ve hurt this man enough. C’mon. Get out” Maria stated, now resting her back on the doorframe, looking and feeling cooler and more badass than ever.

Ashamed by her actions, with her mind and spirit blurred, Y/N ran away from the apartment.

-”Well, you need new friends now I guess”. Maria said a little bit discouraged, resting her palm on Haz’s shoulder while his gaze was glued to the door Y/N let open.

-”At least I have you” Harrison whispered, before lifting her up and take her back to the bedroom between giggles and kisses.

***

Taglist of lovely people who might be interested in this :)

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#tom holland fic #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x reader x harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield fic #harrison osterfield smut

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friendships-hardships-spaceships · 7 years ago

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Ehhhhh:

8 yrs old somewhere around 1998/9 (the episode stated 1996 was nearly three yrs ago, then ass doctor said it was 1999, then Kyle said it was two yrs ago sooo).

According to the wiki they became 10 yrs old in 2000 (2000 being when the episode aired).

With that being said I'm basing this timeline off of the assumption that they were 10 yrs old in 2000.

10 yrs - 2000

13 yrs - Kenneth McCormick 100% proves his curse to everyone by having each of them video record themselves stating that they watched him die, after all, what better proof then their own words.

14 yrs - Eric Cartman goes into therapy to avoid kid jail. (Forgot how to spell juve/juvee/juvie idk).

14 yrs - Kenneth McCormick is currently working three jobs to support his family. He's saving up on the side to get an apartment for him and his siblings.

15 yrs - Heidi comes out as bisexual.

16 yrs - Kenneth moves out with Karen into a small apartment in a slightly better location. He's still working three jobs in an attempt to support both his place and his parents.

17 yrs - Eric asks Kyle out (Kyle rejects him initially but throughout the year Eric continues doing stupid, annoyingly over the top stunts to win his affection. It somewhat worked, he agreed to get Eric to stop with the mindset that he would get bored after a week).

17 yrs - Leonardo (Butters) begins looking for work to move out and away from his weird and insane family. He eventually begins interning for a veterinarian.

18 yrs - Eric takes the necessary steps towards owning a company.

18 yrs - Tweek and Craig move in together.

18 yrs - Stan is now working as a computer programmer.

19 yrs - Wendy proposes to Stan and they get married within six months. He takes her last name.

19 yrs - Mike Makowski asks his frenemy Pete if he would go on a date with him. Michael convinces him only a conformist stereotype goth wouldn't go out with a vampire based upon that fact alone. (Even if vampires are so totally lame). Mike Makowski is now a victorian era styled vampire, but nonetheless, still extremely lame.

19 yrs - New technology comes out where you can now wear your phones. Basically think gloves with a lens in the middle that projects a hologram into the air that only your fingerprints can move.

19 yrs - Eric now owns a very successful time travel company.

20 yrs - Bebe and Token begin dating. (Bebe had a very extravagant plan to win him over but he asked her out the next day, not that she's complaining).

21 yrs - Kyle and Eric get married. (It was the fanciest damn wedding anyone could experience).

21 yrs - Heidi and Theresa move in together.

21 yrs - Butters is officially living on his own.

22 yrs - Kyle becomes a writer, poetry is his best work but he prefers long studies and meditations on moral viewpoints, mortality, and the way humans come to understand things as society changes around them.

23 yrs - Eric is officially one of the richest humans on Earth and isn't going to rest until everyone knows it. (Thank god someone with morals is there to influence his choices on what he spends it on).

23 yrs - Clyde moves in with Butters. (Lame roommates yay! JK).

23 yrs - Stan and Wendy have a daughter named Ariel.

23 yrs - Both Eric and Kyle agree that Kenny deserves better, they invite him to move in and even work for them (babysitting the house when they're gone basically) and he can send the money he makes to Karen so she can keep the apartment.

24 yrs - Theresa asks Nichole out on their first date.

24 yrs - Craig currently owns about twelve hamsters and counting.

25 yrs - Kenny asks Butters out.

26 yrs - A new fad comes out where you can have earrings that have built in headphones attached, they're activated and only work with the glove phone thing you are wearing.

27 yrs - Heidi has a Canadian girlfriend, she's very sweet and treats her right.

28 yrs - Token and Bebe have a son named Nicholas. (After his godmother Nichole, who Token and Bebe are both very good friends with).

29 yrs - Eric, Kyle, and Kenny go to Karens apartment to ask if she'd become their surrogate. (She only agreed because she knew they were good friends with her brother). Eric paid her $10,000 and she opened a store that became very successful in only three months.

30 yrs - Stan and Wendy have a second child named Kylie. (After her godfather Kyle).

30 yrs - Eric and Kyle's new daughter was born. Because Eric was stuck in traffic Kyle gladly took the liberty of naming her after his mother: Sheila.

30 yrs - Craig and Tweek open a tea shop. (Nobody saw it coming, they sell stress relieving teas though. It calms Tweek down considerably. He now sounds like his dad, but still twitches regularly and stutters and yelps on words that induce anxiety. Craig sound like the english lines in 'Let's Fighting Love').

30 yrs - Kyle and Kenny convince Karen and Ike to become roommates.

31 yrs - Kyle and Butters post dumb youtube videos where Kyle sings and Butters dances in the background. (In a controlled environment where Butters can't hurt anybody).

31 yrs - Technology advancement where you can now key in specific people's phones to yours so that you can now share everything you're doing instantly. (Say someone does something on their phone, if you're currently being keyed in you'll have the option to see it live. If they're playing music and you wanna hear it you send a request to be keyed in and if they agree they click yes, they can kick you back to your own phone anytime. Only done with friends and family.

32 yrs - Current (2022)

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hyotaem · 7 years ago

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why kim kibum is a RAVENCLAW

first of all kim kibum’s ugly ass can fight me for shoving his “““““““““““slytherin””””””””””” self in my face with all his stupid instagram posts this is the FIRST time i haven’t been excited about him posting. now let’s be real here the sorting hat must’ve been smoking some crack or something if it put kibum in slytherin………. he’s CLEARLY A RAVENCLAW and i have PROOF. SO MUCH proof that i’m about to write six pages of this shit!!!! ten virtual bucks and all of miss sha’s love to you if you actually read all of my anger induced rambling :)

okay!! now let’s get rowling’s awfully one dimensional and un-fleshed-out definition of what a ravenclaw is out of the way : the smart ones. that’s it. “wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure” blah blah all of that. basically the way she set it up in the (amazing) shitshow that was the harry potter books, most people interpreted it as “oh you do well in academics and stuff you get straight as and all that cool jazz so you must be a ravenclaw!” EXCEPT. getting good grades isn’t the only type of intelligence you can have and this especially applies to kibum because although i don’t know how well he did in school i do know that he has immense creative intelligence that screams ravenclaw AND NOT FUCKING SLYTHERIN GOD DAMN IT. also point number two!! if that was the only thing that made you a ravenclaw then hermione wouldn’t be a goddamn gryffindor. if you think back to book one (for those of you that have forgotten already, that’s the sorcerer’s stone or the philosopher’s stone depending on where you came from - a completely unnecessary change that still baffles me because despite the fact that americans are dumb i don’t think we’re THAT dumb that we wouldn’t know what a philosopher is but i digress) there’s that scene while they’re in room with the logic test with the poison and she says something along the lines of “yeah logic and cleverness is great and all but bravery and friendship is where it’s at harry!! now go beat voldemort’s ass!” (keep in mind i don’t have the books in front of me right now lol) it’s because she values those gryffindor qualities more than she values the qualities of intelligence that she was placed in gryffindor but that wasn’t very well expanded on in the books and it isn’t super relevant to ravenclaw kibum so i’ll move on.

one of my biggest points is the whole intelligence isn’t limited to getting good grades in school one. so in 1983 a developmental psychologist (don’t know what that is and i’m too lazy to google but i’m assuming he knew what he was talking about) came up with this theory?? idea?? whatever. that there are in fact nine different types of intelligence and you can’t bullet point in essays so bear with me: there’s naturalist intelligence which is like nature and stuff… not my thing and not kibum’s either so we’ll move forward; musical intelligence - let’s stop this list right here so i can point a giant finger at kibum’s obvious musical talent (which fingers crossed we’ll get to see in his solo album which will happen i have hope) - logical/mathematical (it took me four tries to spell that right could you believe i used to be a three time school spelling bee champion hahhahhahah) which is what i believe most people think of when they think “intelligence;” existential (why do we exist? what is our purpose here on earth? what the fuck exactly is a human? what is consciousness? this is for the ones who have existential crises every other day congrats you’re smart). this paragraph is getting too long lemme move to the next one -

yes hi where were we : interpersonal! this is a another one i think kibum has a lot of; he’s really extroverted and have you ever noticed that he knows like. everyone because he makes friends super easily and everything?? he knows how people work and he’s comfortable around them. next, linguistic intelligence, which he possesses a lot of too - we all know the man’s smart as hell when it comes to languages it’s real sexy; intra-personal (this is like…. knowing yourself and your thoughts/feelings which sounds fake to me but whatever); and last but not least (or yes least depending on how much of it you have) spatial intelligence which yeah kibum has a lot of because this applies to visual art and stuff and also comes in handy if you’re an engineer. (shout out to any of those reading this now stop and go do your job or something fucking nerds!)

so we’ve established that kibum is super intelligent, especially creatively, which you already should’ve known if you’ve been a shawol for longer than two seconds or aren’t stanning solely for visuals… my point is : kibum’s a smart dude!! so one box for ravenclaw checked! i’m not trying to say if you’re not a ravenclaw you’re stupid by the way because all of this means jack shit if you don’t value your intelligence, which brings us back to the whole situation with hermione - she was in gryffindor because gryffindor’s qualities were more important to her. but i think it’s clear kibum takes a whole lot of pride in his creative accomplishments and he’s always looking to add more to his loooooong resumé of cool shit i’ve done at such a young age (taemin has one of those except his is cool shit i’ve done at an even younger age). it’s these traits of his that stand out the most in my opinion which checks another ravenclaw kibum box!

completely unrelated to actual house sorting but kibum looks incredible in blue. pretend i attached pictures for reference.

listen being in ravenclaw isn’t all flowers and rainbows (that’s more hufflepuff; you can find them in the kitchens xx). this emphasis on logic and intelligence can often create a chasm between the more human side of things. ravenclaws tend to forget that emotion plays just a big a part in how things work as pure, cold logic does - which obviously doesn’t always apply, because interpersonal intelligence is a facet of ravenclawism?? let’s pretend that’s a word. ravenclaws can also be real perfectionists and super hard on themselves. and don’t forget that they can get big heads too - placing a higher value on intelligence, creative or not, doesn’t make you better than the rest of the houses, ravenclaws.

trust me, i know. i’m a ravenclaw. fuck pottermore.

i just realized something. in any proper school essay, you never just jump into things the way i did. idk if any of you learned tags?? theme, author, general, specific (or something like that; forgive me if i can’t remember, oh sophomore year honors english teacher) but yeah i forgot to do all that and just kinda went KIBUM IS A RAVENCLAW FUCK HIM so…

i’m assuming whoever’s reading this has either read and/or watched at least one of the harry potter books/movies. if you’ve only ever seen the movies (or worse, just one movie) get the fuck out of my sight! nah, just kidding, i’m ready to explain all this shit to y’all. so buckle in, kids and non kids, because you’re about to have a crash course on hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry completely from my shitty memory!

so hogwarts is this amazing school in england that teaches young, impressionable kids magic tricks but with real magic. it’s the wave your wand, say the latin inspired magic words, and boom! you just turned your rat into a teacup (or if you’re ron, you got stuck halfway and now peter pettigrew is having the worst time of his life since [spoiler]). it’s pretty much the most dangerous place you can send your kid especially if one (1) harry james potter is in the student body, because this snake man with no nose is coming to get him because he’s holding a ten year or so grudge that he couldn’t kill him when he wanted to. also [spoiler] plays a part in that lmao voldemort isn’t that shallow. but he is pretty shallow.

on your first day at this super cool school you put a magic talking hat on your head and it compartmentalizes you into one of four houses based on your personality, your values, and your strengths. it’s like divergent except less black and white. (and if you’ve seen/read divergent and not harry potter get your fucking priorities in order wtf???) you’ve probably heard of these houses - gryffindor, slytherin, ravenclaw, and hufflepuff - even if you know shit about harry potter because you’re friend has said to you “oh yeah i’m a hufflepuff” and you went “oh cool haha sounds fucking dumb” and unfortunately for your poor hufflepuff friend most people look down on hufflepuff. thank god that’s changing and fuck rowling for making it that way. no one has time for her silly “all slytherins are evil” narrative.

rowling-wise (hope y’all are realizing by now that i’m not her biggest fan) the houses are pretty much as one-dimensional as divergent was: gryffindor was for the big, strong, brave people; ravenclaw for the smart; slytherin for… well, evil; and everyone else gets to be a hufflepuff and get labelled as nice. nothing wrong with being nice, but if you’re just nice, you’re boring, and hey, hufflepuffs don’t deserve that. maybe it’s tweaking canon a bit, but fandom has collectively shifted away from these stereotypes and effectively (more effectively than rowling, at least) expanded on what actually makes a gryffindor a gryffindor and so forth. (also, yeah, i thought i was a hufflepuff for years before i took a good look at myself in the mirror and realized i’m a lazy piece of shit that doesn’t deserve to be in that house)

off the top of my head, hogwarts was founded by four wizards with varying levels of assholishness, and their last names are where we get the houses. each one of them basically picked the qualities they wanted to see in their students (gg : “i want the loudmouths who are brave and awesome!” rr: “i want the ones who think being smart is sexy” ss: “i want the ambitious prideful ones” and lovely helga hufflepuff was like “cool i’ll just take the rest they’re amazing too”) and so the houses were formed. things quickly unraveled after that because mr. slytherin was a racist piece of shit and he only wanted the “pure-blooded” families to send their kids to hogwarts (meaning the ones wizarding families who were all wizards) and the rest were like “wtf bro?? what about the mixed kids. or the random muggle-borns blessed with the ability to bewitch??” and salazar was like “nah i’m out goodbye fuckers i hate you all for being open-minded and shit.” so, i mean, it really doesn’t come as a surprise that slytherin gets such a bad rep considering the first ever slytherin was on the high end of the asshole spectrum. and then all that shit with the [spoiler] in chamber of secrets happened, so not only was he an asshole, but he was also fucking insane. good riddance. but the rest stayed, and they made hogwarts famous, and then they died and became ghosts to haunt the corridors of the school or whatever.

so now that your brief hogwarts, a history lesson is over, let’s talk a little more about slytherin because i feel like it! also the whole idea about all slytherins being evil, power-hungry, greedy fuckers is wrong and needs to be dispelled. yes, power does play a huge role in who a slytherin is, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be a “crush everyone underneath me” kind of thing - it’s more like an ambition-driven one. sure, a lot of slytherins are bad, like, say, voldemort, who was so obsessed with power and living forever that he pretty much killed himself, with a little bit of help from our lovely hero harry. and like… i could go into detail about how horrible and abusive snape was (yes he did have a few good qualities but they certainly weren’t redeeming ones fuck off) but i’d max out the number of pages for this essay so maybe another time. if you’re a snape apologist…… well i hope you see the light soon. that’s a real stain on your person. but yeah - not every single slytherin you see is pure evil; regulus black exists (please read the books) and like. narcissa malfoy just wanted to protect her son, you know? doesn’t excuse most of the shit she did but her intentions weren’t completely “oh i want to be powerful also i’m better than everyone because i’m pureblood and you’re not haha.”

also taemin!! there’s a lovely slytherin. smart, ambitious, sweet, great smile, i’ll stop before this turns into a soft rant - taemin is textbook slytherin but surprise he isn’t in the game just so he can put other people down. and i wasn’t serious about my other if you’re blank then stop reading this but if you don’t think taemin’s a slytherin you can exit. right now. i’m serious i don’t want to be associated with y’all. AND IT’S EVEN WORSE IF YOU THINK HE’S A HUFFLEPUFF!!! you’re going to put lee “work over relationships” taemin into hufflepuff? he’s pure slytherin; he’s driven by ambition - idk if you noticed when he was talking about his budokan concerts but he mentioned how he worked so hard on it for his own sake. he wanted to prove to himself as well as others that he could pull off something so grand and incredible (and he did but once again that’s soft rant territory so i’ll pull back) and that’s slytherin. this isn’t necessarily in a bad way, but he’s so willing to throw his members under the bus for his own sake - go watch their weekly idol. THAT DOESN’T MAKE HIM EVIL LMAO a big part of being a slytherin is relationships with others!! when the worst comes to worst, loyalty is important to slytherins. it’s not one of their defining characteristics like it is for gryffindor but it’s still super important. that’s not to say he doesn’t have hufflepuff traits (y’know, working hard! being dedicated!) but those coupled with entirely slytherin motivations of proving oneself and becoming the best they can be point him towards slytherin’s direction. slytherins have a tendency of throwing everyone and everything away (including, many times, themselves) for the sake of achieving their goal and taemin is a perfect example of that. sure, he’s as sweet as a person who laughs when other people are crying can be, but that doesn’t automatically make him a hufflepuff. it’s not like everyone who isn’t a hufflepuff is mean or that every hufflepuff is a gooey pile of chocolate and sunshine.

anyway… this is about kibum…

(fun fact : the animal associated with the ravenclaw house is actually an eagle. something about soaring to new intellectual heights or something. would’ve been easier to just make it a raven because it’s not like ravens can’t fly too but whatever.)

probably one of the biggest roadblocks with sorting people into hogwarts houses is the overlap that occurs between traits of different houses. having one trait - or even a few of them - doesn’t automatically mean you fit solidly into a house, because you have to take your own ideals and values into account, as well as the way you approach things in life. it’s not to say kibum isn’t ambitious, because yeah, he is, but the way his ambition is directed towards his creative pursuits for the sake of expanding his creative intelligence is a ravenclaw thing you know?? same with jonghyun (who is also a ravenclaw) - the way he approaches all of his creative pursuits is completely in the artistic sense. jonghyun is creatively brilliant - let’s look at his radio show, or his song-writing, or his composing, or his book writing, etc. - and just because he’s a ravenclaw doesn’t mean he’s not ambitious. sure he’s ambitious but is anyone sitting here calling him a slytherin?? no, seriously - does anyone think jonghyun’s a slytherin? because i’ve never seen that. most people put him in hufflepuff and not ravenclaw… but why? is it because he’s soft? because that’s a hell of a stereotype, too, and it’s not like all ravenclaws are cold, emotionally detached bitches who only care about getting 100 percents on their quizzes.

what i’m trying to say is people can’t be categorized into boxes the way the houses were originally constructed; otherwise, most of the population would just be hufflepuffs. sorting also takes your personal wishes, your goals, what you think is important into consideration. so, yeah, if kibum really wanted he could totally be a slytherin, but it would pretty much be for the sake of being a slytherin because that cunning is not what he deems most important. let’s go back to harry potter himself - the sorting hat was really fucking ready to put him in slytherin, and as much as you can argue that it was because a piece of voldemort, of evil, was in him or whatever, you can’t deny that harry has a lot of inherently slytherin traits. he knows how to work people, he knows how to get out of tricky situations because he’s witty and yeah, cunning as hell. and yes, he asked not to be put in slytherin, but that’s mainly because he walked into hogwarts having heard nothing but stereotypes about the house (like that one line that ron said about how not everyone in slytherin was evil but how everyone evil came from slytherin, the whole square rectangle relationship). and keep in mind that he didn’t specifically ask to be put into gryffindor but that the sorting hat recognized those qualities that he also had and the fact that he valued them more as well and made the decision to sort him into gryffindor.

sorting is a tricky business, thanks to those gray areas. there are ravenclaws that could be academically behind others, but they work their asses off because they want to learn. hard work is, again, technically a hufflepuff trait but their objective, their main focus, is the learning aspect which makes them a ravenclaw! an excellent real life example would be minho, who you can argue has several gryffindor traits, like… he’s loud and i guess he’s brave and all, but hufflepuff fits him a thousand times better. the importance he places on relationships and especially loyalty is purely hufflepuff and he makes a damn good one, too. i think that’s what annoys me most about people who think taemin’s too “sweet” or “nice” to be a slytherin - i hate to break it to you, but not every slytherin is mean and selfish. they just value being at the top because they believe they deserve it, and you can’t really fault a person for that, and it doesn’t mean they think everyone else is automatically lesser, either.

i’m going to wrap this up now because i want to watch final life and i’ve also made pretty much every point i can think of right now. kibum might be out there dropping $100+ on overpriced slytherin wands and parading around in his slytherin scarf but honestly? i’m still convinced he’s a ravenclaw because it just fits him so much better. but i guess slytherin is a good second choice! he really made me angry enough to write an entire goddamn essay about this wow

#shinee #key #amar rata #kim kibum #RAVENCLAW KIBUM #i'm serious about the slyth taemin thing by the way #i'm gonna go watch final life now and support my baby bye #mine

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