#idk i just randomly remembered about it
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Stone may not have many friends and the people he asks favors from aren't really his friends, but he has taken a lot of bullets for others and they've repaid him by doing a favor for him. So yeah, he is a "I know a guy" type of man.
He's really out here suing the school. We hope it doesn't backfire in Sammy's bullying getting worse.
i got the image of some nosy ass journalists trying to interview stone and sammy over this because idk. gotta make that bank somehow
sigh. good luck to them. wouldnt be surprised if shoving a camera in his face resulted in stone cursing them the fuck out and telling them to leave him and his kid alone
#.... speaking of cameras and news and tv in general#theres a “game show” for students here#where they compete over who knows the most amount of Random Bullshit#and theres like segments of it where they interview family and schools and the classmates n friends#yk. everyone who knows the one competing#and im just seeing mārīte competing#or better yet: teen!sylvester#... as if stone would let him go on live tv jdbdjsjs#idk i just randomly remembered about it#the grand prize was like idk 500 bucks or whatever#maybe more maybe less. ita been years since i watched it
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I love amphibia I'm really happy it exists
#this is so random LOL but ive been like going thru lots of phases where im just trying to feed into a latest interest#and when doing so i tend to look back on the stuff ive liked in the last and like.. as im scrolling thru an anne and sprig tag on tumblr#i suddenly had a realization that i havent been feeling sad about the fact that the shows been over for a while now??#idk its crazy to me instead im just having warm fuzzy feelings inside and im just#gah i do miss these goofs but i really appreciate the laughs and the love you showed me. hope u dumbasses are doing ok#also more random thoughts: the 'did hop pop just leave us' joke has been randomly playing in my head for no reason other than me remembering#season 1 and also been randomly reading gf fics and read a crossover one w amphibby and i fucking lost my shit when it reminded me abt how#they fucking played kpop in all in like thags so fucking funny to me all the time for no reason its peak silly
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what if when duck said he “always knew he deserved to be dead” he also (maybe unknowingly) meant he excepts how their world works. like we all know he loves living in that hell hole of a home and love love loves when things go orderly and as planned. and he’s ALWAYS fucking dying so he’s sorta like . “hey. if this world wants to kill me sometimes that’s okay.” duck will just randomly out of nowhere says things like he knows too much about whats going on, but he just doesn’t care bc he believes it’s normal. and if he has any awareness of this thing specifically , i don’t think he minds as long as he gets to come back. because that’s always what happens and he’s okay with that. maybe he just thinks that that place knows what’s best for him, so he deserves what he gets. even if it means making him hurt from time to time
#maybe i’m just saying BULLSHIT and i might delete later but. idk. just thought i’d say.#tell me what you think of this maybeee..#i randomly pulled this outta my ass so if it’s inaccurate to him i apologize to the more knowledgeable duck lovers#i do know it’s just a joke and it’s just making fun of him not knowing wtf he’s talking about . thinking death is some kind of award#but i think too hard sometimes#yeah. actually idk about what i wrote.#ANYWAY UMMM#another things that’s definitely not tru but what if in dhmis 5 duck actually expected to die but things were going wrong and it scared him#like oh nooo what if i never see this yellow dude again and that other tall one i can’t remember :(((#anyway you guys are wayyyyy better at analysis than me. but i almost never do it so bear with me while im learning#dhmis#☎️#don’t hug me i’m scared#duck#duck guy#duck dhmis#TRYING TO PUSH THE POST BUTTON IM SCARED
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random hc but. crowley being a plague doctor in the 16th/17th century bc he's supposedly "tempting people into death" but he can never, ever bring himself to actually do that so he ends up soothing their pain as best as he can and comforting them in their last moments. one night, after he held a little girl's hand as she passed away, he sits down at the banks of the river thames, with his plague mask discarded on the dirt, and he starts out over the water with tears in his eyes, wondering what the fuck is actually the point? it's not the first time he's asked himself the question nor the first plague he witnessed but, here, now after personally witnessing hundreds of deaths every day, he really wonders what actually is the point of him? why does he exist and why should he keep existing. why does he get to live when so many others don't? how is that fair? how is any of it fair? that's how aziraphale finds him, as he just got back from an assignment somewhere or other and hears crowley is in town, so he discreetly looks for him and finds him there, sitting in the dirt, now with his head in his hands, his shoulders silently shaking and is obviously immediately worried but doesn't know how to comfort him or what's allowed so he just sits beside crowley and watches him try to pull himself together. aziraphale's heart breaks, he put what happened together from the mask and the robes and he obviously knows about the bubonic plague but was convinced it was hell's doing and couldn't have even imagined crowley was out there everyday, helping people under the guise of hurting them. is he surprised? no, of course not but it still hurts to see crowley like this. but he's afraid to cross their unspoken rules so he quietly waits crowley out. he watches the water and doesn't dare look at crowley as he lifts his head and takes a few shaky breaths in. after a few minutes of breathing, crowley croaks out "her name was mary" and nothing else, and aziraphale understands, god he understands. it's one of the things they never speak about after it happens but aziraphale can't forget the night he sat with crowley for hours, till the sun came up, as he cried about a death of one little girl. he holds it close to his chest and never, ever forgets.
#neither does crowley. he should've been cast out the second he put that mask on cause he'd never be able to do what they wanted him to but#aziraphale would never ever say a word about this and crowley didn't even have to ask him. crowley remembers how just for a few moments#aziraphale let himself brush crowley's hair out of his eyes tenderly and yearns for smth he will never have#ugh the longing the yearning. 's too much#this came to me at like 2:33 am as i was tryna fall asleep with my little azicrow fantasies and i had this idea for a painting of this scen#and i sketched it in my notes app then was like fuck it and went to sketch it on paper and now here we are#idk if this is coherent and idk if i care#also this was kinda inspired 'and in the waking world we wait and we want' which is a dreamling fic BUT hob was a plague doctor for a while#there and anyway i think about that fic once a day so i randomly steal ideas from that like bro the historical knowledge that fic has???#INSANE. the history nerd in me goes crazy every time i reread it it's so so so good#anyway i went off track there ill leave whatever this is here#good omens#good omens headcanons#crowley#aziraphale#good omens 2#azicrow#also i dont claim im a writer in any way shape or form im just slightly insane so ignore how awkward this is
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made a star wars oc because idk i felt like it
her name is ka'imri and she is stupid (and i might ship her with grievous ooo ooo ooo...)
#star wars oc#kaleesh#kaleesh oc#idk how to draw these lizard guys#actually i dont remember shit about star wars i watched it when i was like 7 and i just started randomly obsessing over grievous recently
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When We Were Young by Adele but specifically the cover Billy Gilman did on the Voice Season 11 = Bucky. It is Bucky. He is singing about Steve.
That's it. That's the post.
#actually it's bucky thinking about steve. because Billy can sing but i headcanon bucky can't sing#(he still enjoys singing a lot. he's just not particularly good at it)#(I think this was billy's blind audition but I don't remember) (still mad he didn't win but even more still mad about who did win)#but anyway yeah back to stucky!#this has probably been done before but idk the thought entered my brain randomly tonight so here we are#stucky#bucky barnes#steve rogers#actually me#oh yeah billy's gay by the way#it's important to me that you know billy is gay#but he couldn't be out when he was younger because he actually became famous as a child country singer
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more entry snippets..
#It's been interesting reading these back...#I feel. Like. Maybe following a saga of like.. Several consecutive days could be better than like#Randomly clicking days and seeing what I was up to#I don't know if anyone cares but u can send me a date starting from 2019 and I'll have an entry for u#Except for.. I believe August 8th 2019...#I was coming back from Mauritius and lost a day LOL#Idk like.. Reminiscing some people#I was like.. 'video called ethan' it literally took me 5 minutes to even remember who Ethan was 😭😭😭#I'm sorry Ethan..#Anyways these are so funny to me. Or like interesting#It's so...........#I can't quite explain it.. Interesting? Nostalgic? Heart wrenching a bit..#To relive these things I experienced.#Lots of love struck silliness. And also being sad. And being at peace. Lots of emotions!!!! Living quite the life!!!#Ok.#Void talks#Chats#Also just like.. Sending my friends the goofy notes I made about them a number of weeks months or years ago...... So good#'Allen tried to explaina Gui to me.. It didn't work.'
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on a note to all: my plotting style is something i like to call i have adhd and if i see you on the dash and have an idea chances are i’ll im you about it. i’m an anxious little dude who isn’t always active in a broad scope, and it’s always been my nature to reach out to people. that doesn’t make me even remotely anxious. not even remotely expected to answer me — i totally get it, sometimes you don’t feel the vibe — but a general psa about how i work. i come from the dinosaur era where the only way to communicate with one another on any level was to directly talk to them and frankly i don’t even know how else you’re ever supposed to plot with a person otherwise. like… how do you write if you never talk????
#CLAWS RETRACTED.#[honest to god this isn’t shade at anyone im literally just trying to explain i am never on the dash and when i am i take handfuls of rando#snapshots to send to whoever’s in my scope at that second. which is i know ridiculous but when you’re me and you’re mobile 100% of the time#because the other 75% you’re doing everything for everyone in your life it becomes exceedingly hard to WANT to stare at a laptop screen.#even if im home im 100% mobile most of the time. basically what im saying is: as an rper i will totally drop into your im’s randomly if#something strikes my fancy. if that’s not your bag i totally get it. the plotting call life has never been mine to own. a lot of the time#it’ll be a person likes it and then you reach out and it turns into ‘haha neither of us have an idea’ which then kills the whole thing.#hence why -i- tend to approach especially if you reblog something or wishlist it and it crosses my path. like. im so happy to try almost an#anything someone wants to give a shot so long as you feel like playing ping pong with me about it. I’ve always been an exceedingly social#person because i just… love people. and for a person literally exploding with anxiety… I don’t do anxiety about talking to people. I USED#to long ago until I LITERALLY forced myself to just… not give a fuck. but honestly? do it scared and now it’s just fucking do it. I#apologize in advance if I can be a pain in the ass and if it’s not your dig I comprehend an unfollow. im a very involved and interested#writer and frankly it’s how I keep myself able to enjoy this hobby by not making it too serious. like. sometimes I read someone’s rules and#im like Jesus Christ I would love to remember all of this but my brain only has so much ram. idk when the big invisible book of online#etiquette was written but I must have been sleeping in class for that one.]
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AND ETOILES STLL HASN’T GOT HIS TICKET
#qsmp#jay rambles#etoiles#sorry every time i randomly remember i make a post about it#i’d be surprised if the admins forgot tbh bc like . no way they don’t keep track of the lore#as a whole and both individually#maybe they just forgor to check the list idk 💀 or maybe they wrote down a number for him but forgot to check if he actually had the ticket#LOL#either that or it’s related to his lore that he didn’t get a ticket . somehow
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I want to talk about my ocs publicly more like I used to years so... so freakin BAD!!!
#canischat#I remember back when I used to use twitter a lot (ew) I talked about oc facts randomly all the time!#and opened QnAs and requests of drawings of my ocs on my instagram stories#And people actually enjoyed it it was like my public excitement made others excited about my ocs in return#and I honestly owe like more than half my audience to that time#most people that stuck around to read my comics or are on my comic server are because#they came from back when I used to talk about my ocs all the time and they were curious to see it play out the way it was intended#what happened? idk. I guess I got self concious. But I want to recreate those vibes again.#I want to show others Im just as excited about my little guys as I was back then and as I wish for them to be too.#anyway uuh idk maybe I will reblog one of those oc questions for ppl to send me asks at some point#but I dont want to make it feel like Im forcing ppl to ask me things so I want to be able to just ramble at any time for ppl to enjoy too
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WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE FROM CALIFORNIA
#uhh more venty shit down in the tags#likee tw for csa or grooming or whatever idk#like uhh my bf (a complicated topic) is from california#and uhh yeah basically i have an ex gf that i broke up with bc I'm a shitty person#and i cheated on her with predators multiple times ykyk#and a) wanted to avoid guilt b) obviously staying with her was wrong c) she's a really good person and i wanted to feel worse so ykyk#and uhh we're still close friends#she really should hate me bc stuff but oh well that's a vent for another day#and yeahh a while back when she came over and we started talking mental health shit#and i impulsively was like “hey how about we troll this bloke that has been trying to get back in contact with me?”#uhh he's like 38 or something and uhhh we sexted for like a day .#while i was dating my current boyfriend.#wow i really am a shitty person#and then yeah we had been texting a little for like the previous 3 days#so me and ex gf kinda went along with whatever he was saying#until he called and realised there was 2 off us and blocked me#ANYHOW YEAH HE WAS FROM CALIFORNIA#and after that event i randomly started feeling intense hate for ex gf every once in a while???#I'm not exactly sure why but oh well that did happen#and anyhow yeah a few months ago#like just before i broke up with her i think#she recommended the song dogbird by madds buckley#i nearly cried when i listened to it lmao it's far too real#i really recommend it#but yeah i was already like pushing her away at that point and that song is basically about that#(also very sapphic)#and yahh this morning i was feeling Sad and i randomly remembered this song and i was like “damn that's on topic ima listen to it again”#it's even realer than i remembered lmao#and yeah guess where the girlfriend-that-was-pushed-away was mentioned to be from in that song?#FROM FUCKING CALIFORNIA
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it is always a little funny to me when people try to make psychologists and psychiatrists out to be the only people ever capable of being able to accurately diagnose mental illnesses and disorders and that their word is law as a way to criticize self diagnosis when like. once i was hospitalized and the psychiatrist there who i had not even known for more than a day tried to diagnose me as bipolar despite me having No history of mania because he.. couldn't really understand why i acted the way i did i guess???
#milgran't#tw hospital#tw psych ward#i just randomly remembered this (i say randomly as if i dont know exactly why im thinking about this stuff). dont mind me#tbh i should make a tag for like. more personal posts. but. idk what to make the tag name..#oh well#apologies for not being cool and collected and expressing things that show that im a human with emotions and needs recently#The Holidays are probably. one of the worst times of the year for me </3#its not even seasonal depression or whatever its just Oh Jesus Oh Fuck Oh God (gets hit by 99999 trauma bullets)#that psychiatrist sucked SOOOO fucking bad btw#trying to prematurely diagnose me as bipolar was one of the tamest things he did during my stay#i hate him i genuinely hope he dies <3#tbh i think he actually did. Break The Law with me. he probably couldve argued it was for the safety of others bc im crazy :3. but.#sometimes i just Remember That and im like. huh. hey what the fuck actually#but seriously. so many mental health professionals just make you sit there and go. .. how the FUCK did you get your license??????#ive heard some of The Most ''oh only people who are completely ignorant about mental health say this!'' type of shit from professionals#idk why im the one being labelled as insane when they think saying some of that shit is okay and professional MFKDLSFMDSf
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daring to be vulnerable and open about my work on tumblr on a tuesday afternoon
i have a strange relationship with april 6th where it is simultaneously the proudest achievement i have and also my white whale that i will forever be chasing
which is funny because looking back at it now, years later, i'd probably write it differently at this stage in my life? i think i've grown a lot as a writer and there are parts to me that read clunky or messy and i think i could have pushed things a lot further
but it's also like. idk, i'd never made a fic About anything before. I'd never even made a full completed piece of fiction? and then i went from "a few oneshots scattered over the course of several years and fandoms" to this fucking.... multimedia epic. this thing i updated in real time. this thing i learned to PROGRAM TWINE GAMES for. this thing i got reviews on that said it helped people deal with their own grief, that i feel like Actually spoke to people?
and that's a high fucking bar to reach! it was a very specific and precise fluke that came from a lot of things all at once- me processing my OWN feelings of loss and fear about the future after 2020. my own slow and delicate tiptoe into a new relationship where everything was uncertain and scary. my personal way of getting revenge-via-success after a year-long burnout inflicted by a really bad friendship that had a really negative impact on me creatively and killed all my confidence in my ability to finish things.
so it's like. weird having this relationship with a piece of my own work that is so Symbolic? weird having a relationship with my own creation where it is simultaneously My Testament To My Own Ability and also The Rival Whose Shadow I'm Always Chasing.
AND IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE... I don't necessarily think it's my best writing, you know? On a purely technical level, it's definitely not BAD but i've grown as a writer since then and I think I've learned new strengths and have continued to improve
but like. also.... it'll always be That Thing I Wish I Could Capture The Feeling Of Making Again. it'll always be that weird moment of lightning in a bottle where i made something really really cool and now everything i make afterwards has to take a backseat to this project i started on impulse in 2021 because i had a bunch of feelings
#personal#rambling#idk it's weird!#it's not like.... i dont think it's the best thing i'll ever make on a technical OR conceptual level#i think it's a lot of very raw and sincere feelings that i shaped into something really cool and interesting#i think going back and reading it sometimes i can see that i've already outgrown it#and that it was a product of its time#but i'll also always be going 'why can't i just randomly catch another feverish vein of inspiration that runs through something insane and-#-ambitious and challenging like this? why am i not Breaking The Mold every time?'#and the worst part is#i say all this and then have to take a step back#and remember i'm talking about a piece of fanfiction written about the manga where people punch each other with ghosts named after 70s musi#like right#this doesnt have to be that serious#it is a piece of fanwork about jojo's bizarre adventure
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((Tonight on: I dissect a single line of a character's dialogue bc I'm oh so very normal about my love for them—
In the fateful scene where Kaeya and Dainsleif finally meet face-to-face, Dain casually reveals that Kaeya's family, the Alberich's, founded the Abyss Order. When Paimon asks Kaeya if he's involved with the Abyss Order in any way, Kaeya's response is simply:
"So what if I know my ancestry? Do I strike you as the type who would be bound by that kind of thing?"
Not bothering to confirm or deny it. Merely suggesting that the idea of him being bound by "ancestry"—by family—is absurd.
Of course, it's understandable for Paimon and the Traveler to immediately have that concern when they learn about Kaeya's family. But the irony here is that they've got it backwards:
Family doesn't bind Kaeya to Khaenri'ah.
It's what would have bound Kaeya to Mondstadt.
He hasn't seen his birth father in twenty years. At this point, they're family in name only. Crepus Ragnvindr was the one who raised him and cared for him, unlike his biological father who abandoned him in a place that would hate and reject him if the truth ever came out.
Whether he was a legitimate part of the Ragnvindr family or not, they were the only ancestry that earned Kaeya's love—and thus, could bind his loyalty.
This line of dialogue was likely the only thing Kaeya said in that entire conversation that wasn't a lie. The catastrophic falling out between Kaeya and Diluc quite literally burned that bridge of loyalty long ago. Between his biological father's abandonment and Diluc's apparent hatred, both sides of his lineage have forsaken him.
So, no: Kaeya isn't loyal to Khaenri'ah out of familial obligation. He's learned better than to place his trust in people (no matter how much he foolishly cares for them).
He's loyal to a nation that still suffers punishment for one single mistake, and to its citizens who have been cast off, abandoned, and twisted into monsters—just like him.))
#《⭒✩⭒ || hc: prince of lies and snow (kaeya) 》#i'm fine this is fine 🙃#am I the only one who does this???#sometimes I'll just randomly remember a single line of dialogue#and then I have an entire Moment(TM) over it even tho it's not the first time I've heard it or thought about it??#IDK SOMETIMES THESE THOUGHTS JUST HIT ME#something small a character said will just BOOM suddenly click#and when it does it unlocks a whole new facet of their personality/beliefs/morals/whatever#it's like a getting struck by lightning sometimes tbh X'D
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Out of all the things I could be discriminated against for at uni I would have never thought dyslexia would be the first one XD
#i mean i'm not exactly sure if it was it but it definitely made me feel kinda uneasy and embarrassed#there was a thing with one of my tests with a new prof#(most of my classes are with the same 5 people except for this one where we got someone new each semester)#and i always say i have dysgraphia and dyslexia cuz my handwriting is *bad* and i don't want to have any issues from that#and i do indeed have papers for it since i was in elementary school#sure it all shows up a little different in english than in polish but its still there#and now i cant figure out if the way she pointed out my ONE spelling mistake on that test is just cuz she normally teaches hs#or cuz she has something against me#i don't remember ever anyone having their mistakes pointed out like that past elementary school plus i don't think she likes me that much#seeing the few times she was outright condescending after i asked her questions about general class stuff for the whole group#shout out to that one time when instead of just saying 'no cant do' to the possibility of moving her class (that was randomly moved to a#different day and with a big break between it and the previous class) she instead basically did the condescending spangebob meme and said#that we can go for a coffee in the meantime#like full on condescending body wiggle and stuff#i may talk to someone about it or just leave it for the end of semester surveys. idk#just kinda venting
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I love it when you play so much DnD that your character choices sorta come full circle:
In your first ever game you might start out as a human fighter, or an elven rogue, or maybe just a half-elf wizard, and then you slowly progress to warlocks and artificers, homebrew perhaps??
But then at some point…you just sorta return to the basic???
For example: I had a moment after a one shot (one that several different groups had all played through separately) where a member of a different group, who had played DnD a year or two, had asked me, who at that point had played for about 5 years, what character I was playing.
I, of course, started ranting about what role in the party I wanted to explore and how I felt the role of ‘maternal’ and ‘the moral one’ was so often associated with being dull when in fact there’s so much unexplored potential in it, and how I wanted to challenge myself by being a character who truly wears their heart on their sleeve and-
Then he asked “ok, but what class and race are you tho?” “………….human fighter” “Ah. There’s no shame in being a bit basic I guess”
#sorry for this ramble I just sorta randomly remembered this#idk something something when you’ve played a bit but not too much you sorta feel you HAVE TO explore all the different classes?#idk I just remember that I was always a bit disappointed when I felt i had to prioritize new class/race choices over good character building#human fighters can be so cool you guys!!!!!#(is it obvious this post is coming from someone who thinks paladins are one pf the best dnd classes)#(and who’s sorta never cared much for dnd race)#maria talks about things#dungeons and dragons#d&d#this obviously doesn’t apply to everyone:#I’m sure tons of people played drow multi class bard blood hunters for their first roles#I think my first ever proper character (that wasn’t the premade ones) was an elven druid??#but quite frankly I’ve always rlly liked ‘basic’ characters with basic concepts that later end up betraying those very concepts#I miss Felton;-;#<-DMPC cocky half elven sorcerer that all the players made a rlly big deal of ‘hating’#(dw they secretly loved him)#that died in combat and fell in a river (i think??)#and was replaced with another character#but then was later revived and Came Back Wrong#me when the cocky noble fire sorcerer is suddenly shy and timid and refuses to use fire magic#(those who know me irl will prob notice that this post-death character is what inspired another elven sorcerer I’ve played)
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