#idk how u have patience ;___;
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sorry im having a lot of fun with the symmetry tool + rewatching season 0 LOL
#my art#ygo#atem#yami yugi#yugioh season 0#season 0#eye strain#bright colors#eyes#uhhhhhhhh idk what else to tag but lemme know !#idk if ill finish... i dont have the patience to color anymore... & tbh i like how my shit looks as barely colored sketches so sdlkfjsldfkj#also obvs this is unfinished n shit but u can reblog it this is as finished as my art gets LOLLL#i didnt change the shade of his hands oh well;;
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Joy Harjo, Perhaps the World Ends Here | House of the Dragon 1.02 The Rogue Prince | Hanif Abdurraqib, On Hunger | House of the Dragon 1.03 Second of His Name | Hanif Abdurraqib, Welcome To Heartbreak | Chris Abani, Poet of an Ordinary Heartbreak | House of the Dragon 1.01 The Heirs of the Dragon | House of the Dragon 1.08 The Lord of the Tides | Yaedi Ignatow, We Were Love
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#hotd#alicent hightower#rhaenyra targaryen#house of the dragon#do you see the vision. originally this was just the meal and vaemons body from 1.08 w perhaps the world ends here but then#i started thinking so now we have this and idk how coherent it is but its so funny how in the beginning i was like#ooh this is gonna be a fun short webweave for once except now i really had to watch out to not run out of slots and i used the full 30#picture limit tumblr has on photo posts. if any image looks fucked its either bc of tumblr compression or bc i cba to brighten them rn#i already spent one and a half hour typing out all the alt text theres a limit to my patience rip#anyway i only used two (2) hanif abdurraqib poems. i tried to be reasonable o7 but yeah do u see the vision. do u Get It!!!#bc i cant articulate it myself. thus this whole thing#anyway fuck let me add the bjsiness tags and then go to sleep its past midnight i need to get up early tomorrow i am fucked <333#thers other ppl here too but idk. should i tag the king. yea cmon#viserys targaryen#post w a target audience of 1.5 people 😌🙏#as usual making this has driven me insane i needed to exorcise this post like its a demon and im the pope#have at it! goodnight#caveweb#cavetext
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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
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so anyway, thanks for reading my little dissertations on byan's gender. sorry for not writing again today, i'm just. i'm fuckin goin through it rn man
#'it' being... *gestures vaguely*#i stumbled across this series of yt shorts yesterday (all by the same creator) that really fuckin resonated with me#and i mean that in the most serious way like. it spoke to me. never have i related to someone talking about their experiences more.#talking about their life growing up undiagnosed autistic & adhd... being in treatment for anxiety & depression for decades...#i can't really explain it but good god it's most exactly my same experience and i just. i have never felt that before.#it was so... idk. it sounds so dramatic bc it's literally a comedy short but holy shit#they verbalized things that I haven't been able to and#fuck. I felt seen and I felt like I wasn't alone in this miserable weird non-functioning barely even a human place I'm in rn#and just. idk. I'm still kinda processing some of it.#once again I am thinking back over my life and realizing things and it's. heavy. and tiring.#but like. in an ultimately positive way bc it's gonna help me change things & get to a better place.#I'm rambling IGNORE ME writing it out helps me process ig and for whatever reason posting on my dumb writing blog is easier than journaling#just. once again thank u all sfm for ur patience with me. it means SO much to me. genuinely.#you have no idea how much and I can't put it into words but. slow as I am... writing here with all of you is one of the few reasons#that I'm still kicking. and I'm just. so very grateful to every last one of you.#ok I'm gonna shut up before I get even more sappy and emotional lmfajdkgksg#love you guys. hope you're taking care of yourselves. 💜💜💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.#personal cw
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fighting violent urges to write heated msgs all because i saw yet another cringe opinions coming from some local fools 🤕
#swear to god every time i see one of them speak i wanna explode them on the spot#opinions so bad and shallow it makes u question ur sanity#opinions so cringe it's so clear this is not a conversation about smth important it's just a way to get 'good person points'#which they clearly need so bad#god knows these people dont have anything else#just like they dont even know how to treat people around with respect#OR how to be good friends 🥰#also incapable of any nuance and critical thinking#as the idea of smth being both good and bad is like . idk. impossible to them i guess? what a sad life#oh i hope they all explode 🤧🤧🤧#adry.txt#at least i have smth to rant about to my friends...................#BUT AT WHAT COST (my braincells and patience)#edit: omg people should stop telling on themselves by assuming mean posts r about them#bc like if the shoe fits babez 🥺🥺🥺#if my post about shitty people makes u feel some type of way and it wasnt even about u... damn 🥺🤭
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Trying to learn new programs like they all want me to die personally
#ravings at the square#im trying rlly hard to learn things with the little time I have 👍#some people are just more gifted than me. have more patience and motivation or idk cos goddamn#the prospect of learning how to make a game and working at the same time is so hellish I cant even bring myself to DRAW or write when#working full time. energy drained fr. but ok. i will be optimistic#if u see me whine and cry in two weeks no u dont#learning unity btw. i want. to create my silly little games.#Thats what I want the most in the world is to create. and if nobody will give me the opportunity to do so ill create it myself#Something so so so scary about being nearly 30 and having no direction in life and realizing you haven't mounted to anything but I'm not#dead yet so I still have a chance 👍 I can still create beautiful things as long Im kicking
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idk if the process is actually interesting to anybody but i like to show it so I can make the project more accessible to ppl!! and maybe other ppl will see it and realize "hey i could do that too!" and make more art :]
#like i could just show yall the outcome but i feel like showing the journey along the way is good to do#bc then it looks doable instead of just this intimidating overwhelming clean final product#there are steps to get there! and those steps are doable if u have patience and a few fairly cheap supplies!#my fanciest most expensive thing im using is a hot glue gun and i think u can probably buy those for fairly cheap djdkdl#idk how much mine was bc it was a xmas gift lol but i dont think theyre too expensive?#theyre just obviously not like... $5 or less fjdkdl like everything else im using#felt + thread + sewing needle + cardboard + glue from the dollar store + scissors#and acrylic or fabric paint if ur fancy and want detailing djdkdl#and a pen i guess for tracing the pattern paper onto the felt/fabric#dandy.cmd#dandy doll-making
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anxiety started to spike high (from pre concert excitement and nerves) but for once!
i was able to snack a v little bit (u know my anxious ass is worried abt bathroom access/locations as usual lmao so I'm trying not to consume much until the show is over), got my Lamotrigine taken (bc god forbid i miss a day, then i have to start back at square one and take my dose down to the lowest again which doesn't feel 100% true? but im not arguing with the doc lol)
And let myself have an edible and like. i can feel the anxiety and nerves just under the surface, like milk on the oven boiling and it gets that thin skin over top? it's like the anxiety is little spikes trying but failing to poke completely thru the skin so far (why are there spikes in the milk in this metaphor? don't worry abt it bc i don't know either, this is just where it ended up; we took this journey together)
and like yeah that's not perfect but. it's such a lovely difference, even if I'm still more tense and prone to an anxiety attack rn than I'd like to be. But even this is so much better than it was off the Lamotrigine, and it's nice to see it might be working again (tho i also attribute Housemate's help and going with me to the concert tonight with helping me on this, it's like. if my brain sees i have someone new to the event who might need my help navigating, it lowers the Anxious Mode and heightens the Caretaker/Dad Friend Mode enough for me to be braver than usual. I want aer to have as good a time as possible, and we're keeping it v low key with like. not being up in the main pit, staying to the back and planning to hang out some in the venue halls while the openers play, so the GA/pit doesn't overwhelm either of us, tho it seems the metal scene out here is p chill from what we can tell? But yeah. I can't always be brave for myself, but i can do it for a friend. and also partially for the fact that I'll be in the same room as Avatar for at least 2-3 hours aksnfkfngn)
#text post#long post#tagging that to be safe bc i think the remaining anxiety is showing up in me being overly wordy#even compared to usual lmao#if the guys do a by the bus mini meet and greet like they sometimes do I'm trying to make myself be brave enough to walk over#just to say hi thank them for the show and for coming out here and for the music in general#maybe attempt small talk bc i actually would love to know how they like this area of the country#i just find it interesting bc musicians go a fuck ton of places so they have a different perspective on it#idk if I'll manage that tho bc i also don't want to bother them at all#anyway if ur in the state and going to the concert tonight and wanna chat/talk abt it at all pls msg me#it would be lovely to know if there's anyone from Tumblr we might run into. a familiar name to put a face too u know?#...i need to stop typing the anxiety is showing thru far too much here thank u guys for ur patience with me lmao
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fjsjfjsj saw a post complaining that no bn ha writers are writing for spider//verse and I was like???? I know lots of ppl in both fandoms??? I quite literally fit those requirements? before I realized they only want people who will write their specific ship and only with their preferred dynamic (w/ the characters being close in age) b/c any other dynamic is simply unacceptable
anyways, long winded way to say I find this kind of mindset rly funny sometimes. i get lamenting a lack of fic that suits your tastes but man imagine thinking half ur fandom is so disgusting that u want to poach from a completely different fandom. why are u still going there?
#xyz#censored to hopefully not end up in tags jot trying yo start shit#just think its funny#either learn to write what u wanna read or just. get ur fix somewhere else idk man#i get venting and all but i have little patience for ppl who stamp their feet about how other people ship a thing in the Wrong Way
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Solo Leveling first impression (episode 1 & 2) - (NO content spoilers involved!)
So I actually went in with ZERO knowledge of the plot or anything at all. All I knew was the promo poster. Given that, the very beginning threw me off a little with what I was expecting from the genre/vibe, but it brought me back very quickly. I will say it started a little slow for me, by that I mean episode 1 was amazing but it wasn't until episode 2 that I got that "ohhhh shiiiit" feeling, you know the one
I will note that despite the very first few minutes not drawing me in plot wise, the animation is so fucking fire like INSTANT noticeably amazing. Like on God I thought it was MAPPA (it's not, it's A-1 Pictures). My brother and I both literally stated outloud that the animation was beautiful as soon as it started playing. The cinematography is dope as shit, a reason I assumed it was MAPPA was bc they animated the fight scenes' movement & style so interactively and dynamically.
The next thing I'll say is that episode 2 made every negative point I just expressed irrelevant. A fucking trip, well paced and perfect intro to the dark, gritty, and badass insanity that is sure to come.
The OP and ED were dope and I've heard they reference the manga very well. I like the outro song but not super obsessed with the actual outro video, and the intro video I love but not a fan of the intro song. To be fair, I didn't love SPECIALZ in the beginning, and now hearing it gives me visceral chills. Things change.
I love the main character and don't have even a single thing to note about him that I haven't enjoyed. Also a character that's been introduced... Iykyk but I saw her and genuinely wanted to compliment her as a character but I literally sat there next to my brother and mother with my mouth slightly open and jaw clenched bc I knew the moment I tried to say something about her it would sound so fucking lesbian. Like so fucking lesbian. I genuinely couldn't trust myself to speak when I saw her. So.
All in all, I absolutely recommend. It's so amazing I'm sad I have to wait every week for it to come out, but it'll only stay amazing if the animators are given more time.
100000% check out Solo Leveling if you get the chance! (@chiarrara 👀💖)
#i saw some news/looked into it and guys as anime watchers we gotta find ways to help the animators#idk how but whether its to not publicly post as maliciously about the animation or to spread the word of patience idk but the other shoe is#gonna drop guys and i dont want it to destroy the anime industry itself#if u want to check out the video up by Joey Bizinger (title: the real reason everyones quittjng the anime industry) but ik thats not likely#long story short more animators r dipping on companies (a popular animator of jjk/one piece said he will never work for MAPPA again) bc the#cant stand to work alongside artists in literal sweatshop conditions. ppl are stepping up & vocalizing more now but its probs not gonna#change until something big & bad happens a.k.a an anime strike & its not an imppssible concept & its also fucking deserved#as anime watchers we have to do better somehow we Are part of the problem they are legit supplying our demand and suffering for it#idk i just hope things start shifting bc its an active snowball we are watching rn guys... somethings gotta give#Joey Bizinger#anime#mappa#studio mappa#mappa studio#anime studios#anime studio#mangaka#animators#japanese animators#japanese animation#animation studio#animators r either gonna leave or decline in the quality we love of all places id truly hope the anime community sees what this means for u#solo leveling#solo leveling anime
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🥹...
#this is a positive thing btw. im having a great evening!!!!!!#i talked to maxy. its my oldest friend (in terms of how long ive known it) and sometimes i get so like. overwhelmed with how much they mean#to me. like i cried so hard because of how grateful and happy i am to have it in my life. like i truly dont know who id be presently w/out#their endless support and patience and kindness. they just mean so much to me. idk. like that's my soulmate. we arent dating or anything#but by god that is my soulmate. thats my other half.#+ maxy if u happen to be reading this. Ummmm. Hai. i love you so much
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sorry but i still think it is so so crazy and insane to look at a child—ANY child, any teenager, ANYONE, but especially CHILDREN—and hit them. as a punishment or warning or whatever. that is so crazy to me. how could you ever look at a child and bring yourself to hurt them in any way shape or form??????????? that’s insane to me.
#emyrs.txt#tw childhood abuse#????? idk if this warrants that. but if i should more tags lemme know !!#YES. EVEN THE ANNOYING ONES.#spent. a great deal of time w my cousins’ friend the other day and she’s. technically 11 so. not a child in the technical sense. but anyone#under 17 to me is so so so young. (YES. i’m only 19. this isn’t bc i’m incredibly old and wise or whatever. it’s bc i’m old enough 2 see how#young i was then. if that makes sense. anyways).#and she was. SO INCREDIBLY annoying. and i have SO little patience and even less tact into how to get her to Stop. so i just smiled and#nodded and pretended that i wasn’t losing all of my patience. bc she is 11. and i remember being 11 & annoying. & being a kid means being#annoying anyways so whatever.#anyways. i hate thinking about my cousins and the kids in my family it makes me sick to stomach.#not bc their parents r abusive or whatever i just don’t think they’re getting the care and attention they need & i don’t want them to grow#up w as weird and fucked up feelings as me and my older cousins have.#also this whole thing is bc i was reading atla fanfiction and got sad about zuko. NWWNNDNDFN#literally i just can’t comprehend the idea of ever physically hurting a child. how do u live with urself afterwords.#i’m tired. this made me very sad. ok bye.
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starting the day off Wrong with. nerds gummy clusters for breakfast,
#toy txt post#i will regret this#(half joking) specifically to spite that post telling me i Have eat a vegetable#i recognize its True. i dont even personally particularly have trouble w vegetables. i like a good number of vegetables in different ways#but something about it is scraping its nails down the chalkboard the wrong way for me#i cant tell you how i would prefer a post like that to be worded. but smth about it pisses me off idk#im vagueing and idk if i could even find the post but like. i really love op being like 'im saying this in the gentlest way possible' and#then u check the notes and their replies to ppl saying no they dont want to is 'die then' and i cant even blame them for that. it has#many notes im sure theyre out of patience to keep being Gentle. but smth about it is just. Grating#i am not sure theres One good way to get picky eaters to try new foods but god that post is Not vibing with me#i want you all to know im being sooo strong rn ive seen it on my dash TWICE and resisted the urge to reblog it w stupid spiteful shit in the#tags lol. im being so strong. im resisting. im making my own post to say stupid shit in the tags#also god it is such a good thing i already like vegetables bc some of the shit ppl are reccomending in the notes.................#🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢#LIKE to each their own if thats what works then go off everyone likes different things but also oh my fucking god some of that#is like the grossest shit. i am not putting fucking cheese on anything are you insane. creamy soups???? you want me to eat CREAMY SOUPS???#A L F R E D O S A U C E ?????? if thats what it takes yall then go wild but asgajgudvakgeuvuw could NOT be me and that is OKAY#im allowed to dislike things that others like and youre allowed to like things i find. detestable. do not take it personally#keep in mind i find so many things detestable it is Not fucking personal. except sauerkraut. that shit is a hatecrime against me personally#<-joking it is a joke. (its not) it is a joke. keep sauerkraut away from me tho please im dying squirtle#if your method of keeping it away from me is to eat it all and go oooo that was so yummy thats fine. whatever it takes#i do wonder about the ppl suggesting to pickle things to consume vegetables#dont get me wrong i am pro pickles as hell i go insane for pickles. however. im not sure they count as a 'vegetable' from a nutrient#standpoint? also the person in the notes being sad they have a hard time eating vegetables and being like wah i cant eat anything but pizza#i want that person to know pizza is vegetables. YES get off my ass tomato is botanically a fruit shut up vegetables arent real#its all fruit or leafs or seeds. pizza is a vegetable. hell especially if you can put veggie toppings on there instead if just eating plain#cheese pizza like me. thats vegetable. idk how to help ppl who have issues w veggies Texturally bc i Love vegetable textures theyre so much#nicer to me than meat texture. fruit textures also my beloved. unless they arent. bananas love to play games#if its taste thats the issue tho i say find a sauce u like and go crazy. douse it in sauce til its just vegetable texture that tastes like#yummy sauce
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crazy how much better talking to someone can make u feel
#was actually having a terrible night but finally opening up to my mom helped sm#idk sometimes I forget how much genuinely straight up talking can help afkgskg#.........ok actually alcohol helped but like. that's bc it took me drinking to build up the courage to talk#which is a me issue more than anything but ahfkgkshsgj#yeah. idk. sorry I'm still sucking at keeping up w things buttttttttt#I'm kinda a dumbass for hoping I might get anything done tonight lmaoooooo#I need to get better at accepting my own limitations I think#........anyway. sorry for still not doing stuff I'll get back to things eventually but rn I need to be chill with what I can & can't manage#u know? if I need to take the weekend to properly fucking FINALLY let my brain relax I will#and if I'm chill enough to vibe w writing while I'm relaxing?? that's great!!!!#but I'm not gonna pressure myself I'm all vibes for the next few days bc that's what I fuckin need#that said.... I do love y'all 💜💜 ty for ur patience bc I need it so badly rn#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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lawwwd my friend is in new jersey atm visiting his gf and he keeps texting me facts abt the US that he thinks are messed up and i have to keep being like ok well actually that one exists in the uk too dude u just. dont pay any attention lmao
#hes one of the only cishet ppl i regularly talk to and it rly shows sometimes.#like hes telling me abt how fucked up homophobia is and im like. bestie u know we have homophobia at home too lmfao#i do appreciate his efforts to be an ally but sometimes he rly does test my patience#why are u texting ur only gay friend abt homophobia anyway!!!!!#i think ive complained abt this before on here but whatever hes doing it again so 🙄🙄🙄🙄#also he was comparing us right to roam to the uk and i had to stop him like. girl 92% of uk land is off limits even w r2r here???#he was like well its mostly restricted to national parks in the us. but its mostly restricted to parks/aonbs here too???? idk girl..#.diaries
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truly don't understand my coworkers like. at all
i can't tell if i just. don't understand people. or if all the youngins just have never done a group project with people they dont know super well before
#it could be both#vip#the youngins also are very fragile if u can't handle me telling you to do ur job then Why Are You Here#im not blaming them if they get upset at How i tell them. i do not have patience#but like. idk. the solution is to just do your job
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