#iconic murder wives

[will-graham-coded]

Fir the Hannibal pride flags: Omni flag with margot? Please?🥺❤️

Here's some options 🫶

[duxfemina]

A brief summary of the Julio-Claudian Dynasty

Octavian/Augustus - he has a reputation associated with peace but you will get a little ill once you look at all the collateral damage around him and that reputation ie. It's easy to institute a regime of peace when you've murdered everyone who might oppose you

Tiberius - when a chronic people pleaser finally get into a position of power and still no one thinks they're good enough and they finally reach burnout and fuck off to their vacation home indefinitely

Caligula - the first emperor in the long litany of reasons why people whose brain has not fully developed should NOT be given access to unlimited power. Little Boots is either insane or the absolute champion at taking the piss out of the elite and there isn't really a third option

Claudius - an icon for overcoming disability and bullying and knowing how to delegate administration appropriately. Also this man gave his wives a lot of mobility (for the time) so we stan in spite of the sources trying to smear him for that very thing. Also this man was SUCH a nerd and I wish they hadn't destroyed his history of the Civil Wars but that's the Augustan propaganda machine for ya even near kin isn't safe from censorship

Nero - take one traumatic childhood add a flare for the dramatic and then give them unlimited power before their brain is fully developed and now it's like Caligula but with more pizzazz. Nero is literally what happens when that obnoxious rich kid who's into theater gets absolutely unlimited money and power and nothing to curtail his flare for a spectacle.

[galactic-rhea]

Did you have any foreknowledge that Anakin would become Darth Vader? I feel like even if you had Revenge of the Sith must have been quite an experience

Lmao I didn't know that until I came across this gif here in tumblr:

'oh damn'

That said, because of that gif, I did know he was going to be one of the most iconic and recognizeable villains of cinema by the time I started to watch the movies. But, my knowledge of what would happen was very, very narrow, I was very in the dark about it lol

Is easier to point out the things that I knew when starting the movies than the ones I didn't:

-He would lose his limbs (I did not know how, I didn't know he literally burned. And I only knew that he loses his limbs because my partner )

-He kills kids (and that I knew just because a meme that my hubby had to explain to me, but I didn't know the circumstances. In fact, what I pictured was much worse LOL)

-He kills(? Padmé (I asked my hubby if he and Padmé divorced, and he just decided to throw that spoiler at me like "no, he kills her accidentally" without further context and I was like...oh woah okay...I...generally don't like villains that kill their wives but i'll still check that out)

-Samuel L. Jackson is in these movies! :D

-HE IS LUKE'S FATHER OMG OMG AND IS TWINS OMG LEIA?? ...Wait don't Leia and Luke kiss- Oh okay

And sufficient to say: ROTS still destroyed me emotionally, what a trip. But I had a blast watching these movies, and it was also a blast watching the Original Trilogy after that! I was so, so stunned about the end of ROTJ, because seriously I always thought Luke kills Vader even when my interest on SW was below zero.

And no, I still don't know how at 24 i managed to know so little about Star Wars SJNKJNSDF

What I thought would happen in these movies was that my guy here was going to be just this cool merciless villain from about the get-go and we would just met him as an adult already. Like, he would be this dark jedi working by himself ruining the order from the inside, going into murders on weekends and blame someone else for fun, the war would be his doing, and being creepy towards everyone included his wife was probably his hobby, idk, you get it, your basic 'cool lonely villain', like maybe a Sauron of sorts.

And then George Lucas tackled me with... this

Hey, I'm not complaining.

My hiperfixation on Anakin and Star Wars helped me a lot with my depression, truth be told!

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

You watch slasher movies? I haven't done so in years (much to my disappointment), got any recommendations, classics, popular, underrated, anything really?

I knew I hadn't watched them in a long time, but it wasn't till I had to try and write something based on classic slashers, that I realized how long its been since I consumed that kind of content.

My only plan so far is that I need to watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Alright, Pandora, it depends on your tastes, and what you look for in a "slasher" ❤️

As you may remember, I fucking love the OG the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and when I got pretty bad last month emotionally I watched it on repeat for two weeks straight. However, if you go in for a regular slasher film you will be disappointed. The first movie is incredible, focusing on amazing shots and atmosphere for nearly the entire first half. It's less of a slasher as we would come to know the genre, and more of an artistic film centered around the horrors of humanity. The series is a wonderful mess of multiple timelines and little continuity, but the sequels better fit the slasher archetype. The best sequel (imo) is the one directly after the first, and it's a black comedy slasher, focusing more on the kills.

Now, slashers ❤️

If you're a nerd and want to experience the slasher history, then before Halloween (which still holds up) there was Black Christmas, and before that the Town that Dreaded Sundown.

The Town that Dreaded Sundown is based off a true serial killer, and unlike TCM which is loosely inspired by Ed Gein, a lot of the kills (except the trombone scene) are based on actual murders, with his mask accurate to the only real world survivor's testimony of her assault. It's very slow pace, and with how desensitized we are as a society you might find it boring, but if you ever get a phonecall from Ghostface, then you have to know the Town that Dreaded Sundown. Fun fact, his mask also inspired Jason's mask from Friday the 13th part 2!

Black Christmas is awesome! I'd recommend it more than Sundown, because of pacing, characters, acting, and overall atmosphere. I love my second wave feminism horror (Stepford Wives (mwah)), and it did a lot better with it's feminist themes than the loose remake from 2019 that tried to be intentionally feminist (ignore the 2006 remake entirely, so bad, so lame, so gross). It did the first person perspective of the killer nearly four years before Halloween's iconic opening. It introduced the idea of the final girl, but she wouldn't become a sexually repressed younger woman until Halloween solidified the trope. It has some great kills that still hold up, and Billy is iconic. I really feel the only reason why he isn't more well known in non-horror spaces is because he doesn't have a mask or outfit that can be replicated and sold in Spirit.

After that we have our most well known slashers, and they're popular for good reason ❤️

A Nightmare on Elm St, Friday the 13th, and Halloween spawned sequels that spiraled off into varying degrees of madness, but still have fun moments.

After the success of Friday the 13th (and the realization of the franchise-ability of slashers) there were a lot of slashers that tried to capture the money magic of the first few success stories. Not all of them were great, but a few notable slashers imo are My Bloody Valentine and the Dentist.

Although Candyman is often lumped in with slashers, like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the first movie is more than a traditional slasher. I recommend the first one as a beautiful love story about the horrors of American racism. It's score is still incredible, the behind the scenes are so interesting, and Tony Todd is absolutely beautiful. Such an amazing actor. (Not so) Fun fact: Tony Todd said in the behind the scenes that there originally was a romantic scene where Helen proclaimed her love for Candyman, but they were forced to cut it, because "they were okay with a tall, black man covered in bees.. but, mm, when it came to a kiss, or something like that, it was a little bit too risque..." ( :/ )

(Please please please watch Candyman)

Then the best, or worst (depending on your views), thing happened to the genre; Scream.

One of the best slashers there is, it isn't the first self referential, meta horror (see Wes Craven's New Nightmare), but it did change the slasher genre for a very long time. It was a revival for the genre, since it was declining in popularity by the early 90s. However, post Scream horror was very meta. See Chucky's personality changing from the occasional funny quip, to Bride of Chucky levels of silly (still love him tho). Of the terrible horror trying to copy Scream, I'd recommend Urban Legend over I Know What You Did Last Summer. It was a shame, just how silly a lot of scary movies got back then, trying to be as smart and self aware as Scream was.

But my favorite (outside of Scream) meta horror slasher film is Behind the Mask: the Rise of Leslie Vernon ❤️ took meta to a whole new level, mockumentary style, a camera crew follows a wannabe slasher killer explaining how to be a slasher icon.

I've watched too many slashers to remember all of them right now, but if you want really meta black comedies, Tucker and Dale vs Evil isn't a slasher but a loving joke on the genre, and the Final Girls made me laugh and cry like a little bitch.

A lot of slashers since the late 90s have drifted closer to the black comedy sub genre. Killers that kill for the sake of killing are often B-rated blood fests, that can be great for mindless fun but not so great for box office gains, especially in our current horror renaissance. Slashers don't fit in to the current horror culture. Serial killers aren't scary for desensitized audiences, and the mindless gore expectations set by older slasher films have created a pretty specific genre setup and pay off (dumb people who only exist to die get brutally murdered). It either has to be B-rated mindless fun (Laid to Rest 1 and 2 had terrible camera work and directing, making even incredible actors like Lena Headey feel lackluster, but the practical effects are so impressive I'd recommend it just for the blood and guts (and bewbs)), or comedic (the Hatchet series has great cameos, genuine laughs, and more impressive practical effects, but with good cinematography and directing (still bewbs)). Slashers that don't lean in to how ridiculous the concept of slashers are and try to take themselves seriously often end up falling short, either creating boring killers with no personality or trying to force a plot into a generic slasher shaped hole.

This does include most remakes of slasher movies, as a lot of slashers were remade in the early 2000's with less interesting characters to be killed off by the slashers. The remake of Candyman was an exception, because even though it wasn't as good as the original, it did go back to it's non slasher roots, learning from the mistake that was the third Candyman.

TLDR:

Non slashers that are considered slashers because of the slasher sequels/iconic murderers:

the Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Candyman

Child's Play

Best Precursor to the genre:

Black Christmas

Popular Classics:

Halloween

Friday the 13th

a Nightmare on Elm St

Pre 90's Slashers that I recommend:

The Dentist

Sleepaway Camp (it's divided on whether it's problematic or interesting representation)

Alice, Sweet Alice

My Bloody Valentine

Post 90's meta commentary/black comedy:

Scream

Behind the Mask: the Rise of Leslie Vernon

Hatchet

The Final Girls

Tucker and Dale vs Evil

There are obviously a lot more, but these are a few off the top of my head ❤️

[senditcolton]

Be My Victim

Watching a horror movie together, curled up in bed. Hiding your face into your lovers shoulder when something scary happens, holding them close, breathing in their scent.

part of my Valentine's Day prompts requested by anon | word count: 0.9k | warnings: OC & descriptions of horror movie scenes from Sinister.

“I don’t know how you managed to convince me to do this,” Andrei groans as he climbs into the bed, slipping his body beneath the black silk sheets. Rhiannon just laughs, her dark hair falling over her shoulders.

“It’s Halloween, Andrei. Best night of the year. Perfect time for scary movies,” she says, climbing into bed next to him after she has made sure the bowl outside her front door is filled with candy for any trick-or-treaters that might come by.

“You know I hate scary movies,” he quips, grinning over at her.

“Yeah, but you love me,” Rhiannon says.

“Yes I do.”

“Besides, Sinister isn’t the scariest movie ever. There are definitely worse ones to introduce you to.”

“There were parts of Scream that I didn’t like so I don’t know if this is going to be any better,” he mumbles, his hand diving into the popcorn bowl already, grabbing a handful of kernels.

“And you did really well with the scary moments, so I think you’ll be fine. Besides,” Rhiannon says, scooting closer to him, her legs intertwining with his. “I’ll be here the whole time to protect you.”

Andrei sighs, his body relaxing into hers. Rhiannon reaches over him to quickly switch off the lamp on her bedside table, plunging her bedroom into darkness. The only source of light comes from the screen, the DVD menu on loop. She grabs the remote, quickly pressing play and placing the device on the table before curling into Andrei’s side.

The movie begins, the atmospheric soundtrack playing as the scratchy Super8 film appears on the screen. Rhiannon hears Andrei curse a little under his breath as he watches the opening scene, the family of four slowly lifted by their necks by a falling tree branch, their legs kicking until they stop.

“Fuck, dorogoy,” he whispers as the title card appears on the screen. “This isn’t scary?”

“I never said that,” she responds with a small giggle. “I just said there are worse movies.”

The movie continues and from the corner of Rhiannon’s eyes, she can see Andrei sinking lower and lower into the covers as each tape of murders play. She can’t help but smile, laughing a little bit at his discomfort. But it makes her happy – not his fear but his commitment. Because even though he was scared shitless, he was invested. He was following the plot, occasionally asking hushed questions. He was doing this for her and it made her feel loved.

She knew she wasn’t the girl that everyone expected a professional hockey player to be with. Her gothic style, her mostly black wardrobe, her dark makeup, her love of heavy music, her enjoyment of all things creepy. She was a far cry from the model blondes that filled the roster of wives and girlfriends and she dealt with her fair share of mean online comments when the public learned of her and Andrei’s relationship.

But Andrei loved her, despite everything people said. This was evidence of that.

Rhiannon keeps her eyes on the screen as Ellison Oswald prepares the reel titled “Lawn Work ‘86” and she can’t stop the wicked grin that tugs at her lips. The film begins and she watches Andrei’s eyes glued to the screen, watching the lawnmower glide across the screen, the humming bass of the soundtrack playing underneath. The appearance of a face on the grass in front of the mower coupled with the spike of the music hits. The iconic jump-scare does its job as Andrei practically leaps from the bed, his body turning to hug Rhiannon.

She tries not to break out laughing at his reaction, her arms coming to wrap around him and one of her hands brushing through his hair. Andrei’s face is buried into her neck and she can feel him muttering Russian curses into the skin.

“Babe, you’re gonna miss the rest of the movie,” she whispers, running her nails gently across his back.

“Don’t care,” he murmurs but reluctantly pulls away from her, his eyes moving back to look at the screen.

The rest of the movie goes on without another major reaction from Andrei, the most is a tightening of his grip around her hand as the final scenes play. The credits roll and Rhiannon can hear the breath of relief woosh from Andrei. She reaches over him, flipping the lamp back on and flooding the room with light.

“I don’t know how you don’t have nightmares after this,” Andrei says, his wide eyes looking over at her.

“I did when I first saw this movie,” she confesses, extricating herself from the sheets after gathering the empty popcorn bowl and discarded candy wrappers. “But now, I don’t know. Horror movies are kinda comforting to me.”

“Comforting?”

“Yeah. They basically take the things you are afraid of and gives you a chance to face those fears in a safe environment, knowing that it’s all going to be okay once the credits roll,” Rhiannon explains, turning to face Andrei, still staring at her bewildered. “But I don’t expect you to become a horror movie fanatic in order to be in a relationship with me.”

“Trust me, dorogoy. I don’t plan on it,” he teases, his breathing still heavy as he gently shakes his head.

Rhiannon laughs, laying back down on the bed next to him, her long black hair blending into the sheets. Andrei looks down at her, his confused expression turning softer.

“I may not understand why you like all the things that you like,” Andrei says. “But I love you and that’s all that’s important.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” Rhiannon replies, looking up at him. “Because I still don’t really understand hockey.”

The two of them laugh before Andrei leans in, kissing Rhiannon. She sighs into the kiss, her arms wrapping around him and pulling him closer, happier, and more in love than before.

[lady-of-the-spirit]

Universal Monsters + Fuckability

Qualifications (choosing movies)

I have seen the movie.

Characters listed as part of the Universal Monsters lineup (Phantom of the Opera from 1925 for example is not included.)

Personality and events of film considered just as much as physical attractiveness.

[ID: Picture of Bela Lugosi as Dracula, dressed in black clothes and a cape, staring at the camera with an annoyed expression. His face is slightly in the shadows. End id]

Dracula (1931)

Bela Lugosi kinda handsome

Vampires hot

Rich. 

Has three wives (dick is good) (plus you can hang out with wives)

Hypnosis

Loses points because the movie was boring and he kills Lucy Westron, poly icon (antifeminist)

7/10

[ID: image of Boris Karloff as Frankenstein, holding his hands to his face, looking offscreen and with a disturbed expression. The lighting only lights up his face. End ID]

Frankenstein (1931)

Literally just born (minor) and doesn’t understand sex

Movie diverged too much from the book for me to like it 

Too awkward and big

Unclear if he has any genitalia at all

1/10 because this image is cool and a little sexy

[ID: Boris Karloff as Imhotep the mummy. His skin is dried and sunken in. He's glaring at something offscreen. He's dressed in a high collar brown shirt and a cap that covers the top of his head. End ID]

The Mummy (1932)

One of my faves 

Backstory is centered around LOVE - will literally curse the gods and forsake everyone for his lover. Hot. 

The opening scene where he came awake for the first time was sexy.

Anti colonialist

Hypnosis

Nice voice

Loses points for unfortunately not being very attractive - dry skin

9/10

[No image for this slide]

The Invisible Man (1933)

Wanted to take over the world and went to his best friend and not his FIANCE??? Gay, and clearly doesn’t care about lover’s needs (even with said best friend). 

Not a monster, just an asshole

Pushed over a baby carriage! Disgusting

We don’t know what he looks like. Sexiness only comes from whether or not you think having sex with someone you can’t see would be hot or not.

Gets points for being a silly little guy, ambition being hot, and the “villain goes soft only for his loved one” trope

Still. -5/10

Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

Like Frankenstein, Literally just born (minor) and doesn’t understand sex

Also had strong reaction AGAINST being an object of desire and so ranking her is missing the point

However because she’s the ONLY woman on this list she gets special privileges.

will be ranking her as if she was not literally ten minutes old and if she understood sex

[ID: Elsa Lanchester as the bride of Frankenstein. The lighting of the image is very bright, so you can see her whole upper body with very few shadows. She's staring at something offscreen with a curious but frightened expression. She wears white robes, and her hair is black with a white streak up the sides, in a beehive style. End ID]

Bride of Frankenstein (1935) (cont.)

Horror movie scream A+

Gorgeous and Iconic

Understands No Means No. (Unlike other creatures on this list) 

Baby Girl you are SO unnerving 💖💖💖 

Tall Woman. Probably strong. 

10/10.

[ID: Two images of the wolf man. One is the wolf man as the wolf man, standing in thr woods, his face covered in fur, his hands furry and clawed, looking panicked. The second is Lon Cheney Jr. as Larry Talbot, a white man with short dark hair slicked back, dressed in a suit with a plaid tie, with a stressed out look on his face. End ID]

The Wolf Man (1941)

This movie just makes me sad. Larry Talbot is a tragic figure.

But he’s also kind of a stalker (spies on woman)

Only a monster half of the time

Wolf form isn’t attractive. (human form okay.)

No sense of control. 

Not even a little okay with his murders. Too pathetic and sad.

2/10

[ID: Image of the creature from the black lagoon, a creature the size of a man covered in scaley and amphibian-like skin with a fish-like face. He's mostly submerged in water, only his head and finned hands with sharp claws poking out of the water. End ID]

The Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954)

Definitely my favourite

Environmentalist! Anti colonialist! 

Swimming scene half creepy half romantic, also gets points for inspiring The Shape of Water (2017).

Phenomenal creature design, A+. 

Just wants someone to love

Will kill everyone else but NOT lover.

Underwater sex. Rough sex.

Sex will probably be awkward because of this.

8/10

[ID: profile of the Bride of Frankenstein. Her head is tiled up and her eyes are mostly closed.]

Congratulations to our winner! Runner ups, The Mummy and the Creature From the Black Lagoon.

[nnon-but-cwnancydrew]

Secret Sleuth Exchange (@secretsleuthexchange) for @katmichail13

Merry Sleuthmas Kat! I was honoured to be your Secret Sleuth this year. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas season and I wish a wonderful 2024 for you.

I'm so sorry that the initial fanvid gift fell through. Rest assured I'm still working on it but I'm starting completely from scratch so I wouldn't have had the time to finish before the dateline. Instead, I hope you'll enjoy a Christmassy version of your icon, a playlist, a couple of mood boards depicting AUs of our favorite platonic soulmates, and a few ficlets to go along with it.

And the playlist is here

Without furthur ado, let's begin:

1) Princess and Knight

AU Concept: Nancy "Crown Princess" Drew-Hudson and Ace "First Knight" Hardy  Tropes: Forbidden Romance, Childhood Acquaintances to Lovers, Slow Burn, Princess x Body Guard Dynamic, Royal AU Theme Songs: King (Florence + The Machine), Icarus (The Crane Wives), YOUTH (Troye Sivan), False God (Taylor Swift), Afterglow (Ed Sheeran), Fool's Gold (Niall Horan), King and Lionheart (Monsters and Men), Long Live (Taylor Swift)

Plot: Growing up, Ace's father was King Carson's First Knight until a wartime injury forced him to resign lest he wanted to forfeit his life. Thom started training Ace to become a knight after that, the exercises taking up Ace's time and slowly distancing himself from his friends.

Before Thom's injury, Ace and Nancy would play together with the children inside the palace walls, including George Fan, the cook's apprentice. The children would wreak havoc all around the castle, no one was safe; servants would spring it if their way, nobles would learn to fear when things got too quiet and the kitchens gave up trying to stop them from stealing a bun or ten.

Alas, good things never last and when Thom's injury happened, the group began to disband. Ace was taught in the ways of the sword, the bow and more. When Thom taught him all he could, Ace was gifted his own horse, a dappled brown mare, which he named Florence and was sent off to squirehood.

Nancy was saddled with more responsibilities and lessons, etiquette and diplomacy, languages and conversation, politics and household organisations (who said being a princess was easy?). George worked longer hours at the kitchen to earn better wages, needing to feed three younger sisters at home.

Things started to liven up when Bess Marvin, Marchioness Diana Marvin's long lost niece turned up at their citadel. Then, Duke Ned Nickerson, a distant cousin of Queen Consort Tiffany Hudson, appeared from the far south and started to court Nancy. The crown princess, equally besotted, returned his affection. And for a while, that was enough.

Then Queen Consort Tiffany Hudson was murdered.

Nancy didn't particularly care for her stepmother, but Tiffany was always kind to her. Setting out on a harebrained journey to find Tiffany's murderer, she would soon find a trustworthy band of friends in Sir Ace Hardy, Lady Bess Marvin, Ms George Fan and Duke Ned Nickerson. They'll go in to fight witches, evil within the kingdom and anyone that wishes them harm.

Three years later, she would find something even more precious than friendship in Ace, her heart, her love. When he proposes, it as at their secret glade, hidden from the burdens of Crown Princess and First Knight, becoming just Nancy and just Ace.

"Will you solve this part of the mystery with me?" he asks, the golden light reflecting off the water into his blue eyes, Kate Drew's diamond ring in his hands.

Her voice is watery when she says, "Yes", and she moves him until he's standing again, for she doesn't want him to be kneeling to her for this part. "Always. Forever." And she hugs him and kisses him and it's like the first time all over again but it's better and she can't help but laugh with joy.

Her Ace, His Nancy, together in the song of the afternoon. She couldn't think of anything else that sounded more right.

Other Tidbits of this AU:

Nick and Nancy break it off mutually then he has a whirlwind romance with George that ends in disaster. they both do their own thing for a while as friends before coming back together because they realize there's no one else for them romantically.

Bess falls for a couple of women, including Lisbeth the castle guard (they weren't right for each other), Odette Lamar the foreign businesswoman (before she found out Odette had a wife back home named Mary), and Addy Soctomah the small town of Horseshoe Bay's elected mayor (third time's the charm).

Other Tidbits of this AU: Nick and Nancy break it off mutually then he has a whirlwind romance with George that ends in disaster. they both do their own thing for a while as friends before coming back together because they realize there's no one else for them romantically. Bess falls for a couple of women, including Lisbeth the castle guard (they weren't right for each other), Odette Lamar the foreign businesswoman (before she found out Odette had a wife back home named Mary), and Addy Soctomah the small town of Horseshoe Bay's elected mayor (third time's the charm). Ace never became a physician, but he did invest a lot into their kingdom's medical research, helping the industry prosper and saving them from an unknown plague that other kingdoms fell victim to.

And they all lived happily ever after.

2) Ice Skater and Boxer

AU Concept: Bess "Figure Skater" Marvin and George "Hockey Player" Fan

Tropes: Strangers to Lovers, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Kinda Instalove, (Just a Soft Little Fic)

Theme Songs: Silk Chiffon (MUNA, Phoebe Bridgers), Tis the Damn Season (Taylor Swift), Girls Like Girls (Hayley Kiyoko), Friday I'm in Love (Twenty One Two), Enchanted (Taylor Swift), Slow Dancing (Aly & AJ), Ashes (Celine Dion), Daylight (Taylor Swift)

Plot: Girl I'm sorry I tried but I can't really view them from a romantic lens and so for Georgess I'm just gonna leave you with the vibes. I'm thinking a soft dreamy winter love in the big city.

If anyone wants to take a crack at this AU (or any of the others) please feel free. Just tag and credit me because I would love to read it!

3) CEO and Bodyguard

AU Concept: George "Spy/Bodyguard" Fan and Ned "Businessman/Inventor" Nickerson

Tropes: Strangers to Lovers, Spies AU, Forbidden Romance, Ballroom Scene, Making Out to Avoid Being Caught

Theme Songs: I Can See You (Taylor Swift), Plastic Hearts (Miley Cyrus), Weapon (Against the Current), Teeth (5SOS), Delicate (Taylor Swift), Roman Holiday (Halsey), Perfect (One Direction), New Year's Day (Taylor Swift)

Plot: Ned Nickerson thinks he’s done well in his life. Accepted into MIT on the honors roll, top intern at tech billionaire Tom Swift’s R&D department then branching off to start a very successful tech company of his own with the help of Tom and socialite and rich heiress Tiffany Hudson; all before the age of 28. Sure, his life is a little bland and his assistant Addy Soctomah had a bit of a point when she said that he was the most vanilla Black man she ever met but boring was good in the business world.

Then, the universe remembered he existed and made him the sole witness of Tiffany’s murder (which, was very traumatic, thanks for asking) by some terrorist company called the Road Back. Now, he was on the hit list of said terrorist company and had to be assigned a bodyguard (who very clearly did not want to be his bodyguard) that was maybe sorta cute when she wasn’t ignoring him like crazy. George said it wasn’t personal but it didn’t seem like the case to him when she stared at him unblinkingly when he was trying to close a business deal.

The mantra of ‘Fuck Drew’ was all that ran through George’s head when she had to protect Mr “Call me Nick”, rags to riches wonder boy and media darling, every day. She could be out chasing the Road Back with her team right now if Nancy had pulled the pin on that grenade 5 seconds later. 5 seconds and Owen wouldn’t have died; 5 more seconds and her foot wouldn’t have gotten pinned under all that rubble, and she could have lifted that column off Owen before he suffocated to death while their friends tried to get to them in time. 

The thought that it took four minutes without oxygen for a person to sustain permanent brain damage was all that ran through her brain as she listened to the harsh wheezing from the person underneath the column slowly stop. George had never really seen the fragile process of human to corpse before, never sticking around after her bullets left their chamber, but she could swear that it took hours for Owen to flatline. 

It took three minutes. The brain damage would happen after four minutes. The team took eight minutes to get to them and they were the longest eight minutes of any of their lives. 

The team fell apart: Nancy blamed herself bitterly, Bess mourned her cousin, Ace kicked himself for sending them into a trap and George- George was numb. Then she became angry. Claw Superiors kicked their team into mandatory leave and psych eval after 2 months. Guess Carson didn’t want his only daughter to crack mentally even more than she already had. 

2 weeks in and George begged Carson for any assignment, after barely passing her psych eval. She snatched the first case he held in his hands from him, not even looking into the file and just showing up at Ned Nickerson’s company the next day. Boy did she regret not negotiating more. Turns out Nick witnessed the murder of Tiffany, the woman whose husband cheated on with George years ago, and now he was the Road Back’s No. 1 target. Talk about awkward. 

It took spending 3 days in Nick’s presence to figure out that 1) He had a ridiculously good moral compass, 2) He and Tiffany were super close and 3) Telling him about her past history with Tiffany would make him hate her. So she kept quiet and kept her walls up, not wanting to get close to another person so soon after Owen’s death, not she was just starting to bond with him. 

But it’s difficult to spend day in day out with someone and not get close to them at some point. Nick was gentle and persistent with her, prying personal details from George like she was one of the machines he was experienced with. How she was the eldest of four sisters, how she almost went into law school, how her favourite colour was green. In return, he told her about wanting to help troubled kids find a community, how he was discovered by Tom Swift (and had a brief fling with him), how his mother taught him piano because they couldn’t afford it at the time and for her last birthday he’d bought her a grand piano to play to her heart’s content. It wasn’t her favourite mission by far, but Nick wasn’t bad company, and there was little chance of her PTSD triggering in civilian bodyguard life while the rest of her team recovered. 

Then Nick caught wind of a Road Back operative that was gonna be at a major social function that’s being hosted by Nick’s dickhead rival companies’ CEO: Everett Hudson. George hatched a harebrained dream of capturing the person to win back the grace her team lost at their agency. Nick offered to be her date so she could sneak in and around but she has to help him find dirt on Everett about the Bonny Scott which can bring justice to 12 innocent people and send Everett to jail. George accepts, which was a horrible idea for them both because now they’re catching feelings for a colleague-ish person.

(As long as you save me a dance, Fan.

You're on, Nickerson.)

At the party, there’s a point where they’re in Everett’s office digging through his files and they hear footsteps coming so they panic. There’s nowhere to hide in the office, and George grips Nick’s arm tightly. 

‘Do you trust me?’ she says, urgency coating her words.

There’s a beat of hesitation when they look into each other’s eyes, George begging Nick to say yes. Still, looking, he nods, and she spins him around to pin him against the wall.

‘I’m sorry about this,’ she says quietly, before kissing him. 

For a moment, everything in the world narrows to his back against the wall, the girl he likes pressed up against him, her lips on his, her hands on him. Realising his hands are just hanging dumbly by his side, he moves one to run through her hair and the other to cup her cheek.

‘OI! You’re not supposed to be in here!’ A loud voice cut through the air, and he remembers why he shouldn’t be doing this. They spring apart, and he’s sheepish when he addresses the person who caught them.

‘Sorry sir. Won’t happen again.’

‘Not today anyway.’ George’s coy face and satisfied smirk makes him blush and he finds he can’t look at the security guard for more than a second without looking away in embarrassment.

‘I don’t care what you do and where you do it as long as it isn’t in here. Now get going before I change my mind.'

'Got it, sir.' He blocks George from view as she surreptitiously swipes the hard drive that had finished downloading information in the time they were caught by the guard. He repeats, 'Won't happen again.'

Outside, George apologises and they go home but there's still an air of awkwardness. She hands the drive over to Claw Agency superiors and is called back in the week to pursue Road Back members with her old team. Since the Road Back is disbanded, Nick doesn't need a bodyguard anymore and they part ways, both thinking this is the last time they'll see each other again.

Three months later, they round up the last of the Road Back members, and George hands in her resignation form. She makes her team promise to keep in touch, thanks the Claw superiors for giving her a lifeline back then, and shows up at Nick's house to confess her feelings.

'You know,' she says, after the heavy emotional talk. 'We never did get that dance.'

'Never too late,' says Nick. He holds out his hand. 'May I?'

'But there's no music,' she laughs, taking his hand anyway.

He smiles at the sound. 'Don't need music. Your laugh is the most beautiful sound of all.' And she proves him right by laughing again.

When they have their first dance at the wedding, they're laughing merrily through the whole thing, calling each other Mr Fan and Mrs Nickerson.

Other Tidbits of this AU: Everyone on the team is field cleared but George and Owen were the only true field agents so they were closer because they have to trust each other's back in the field. Ace is the Hacker, Nancy is the scientist with a focus on biochem and Bess is the pilot/driver/etc. George and Nick play chess but George is more logical and Nick is more passionate. They're equally skilled. Bess meets Addy while the team visits George and they start talking and start dating just before Fanson's wedding. Nace dance around each other for years before everyone locks them in a small room and they come with messy hair and red lips to a chorus of "Finally"s

In every universe, the Drew Crew wishes Kat Michail a very Merry Christmas and hopes that she enjoys her gift. In this universe, Shannon wishes Kat a Happy New Year too. I hope you liked your gift Kat!

[benwvatt]

10 characters from 10 fandoms tag

thank you to @gordopickett for the tag! You're the best <3 <3

Martha from The Essex Serpent (please, can I get more lesbian communist characters who hate the world and love the world?)

Tracy Stevens from For All Mankind (I have the biggest crush on her. astronauts!!!!!!!! are the coolest!!!!!!!!!!)

Aang from ATLA (something something hope is the thing that moves us. it is all we have sometimes. I love my tattooed boy. sweetheart! weirdo! angel!)

Cheddar from B99 (THEY TOOK OUR FLUFFY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Dorothy Williams from Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries (me? attached to every character who is sheltered due to a Christian upbringing and then learns to grow and change and love the world? Yes GOD I love her. she's an adorable person and I just want all the good things for her.)

Rafael Luna from RWRB (underrated, iconic, strange, obsessed with Five Guys, good at speaking in code, so so kind and so lovely. I love my son! I want him to be happy!)

Carol Hathaway from ER (again, I have a huge crush on her, and hope is all we have. She is so kind and so savvy. Can I just be Carol when I grow up?)

Emily Grace from Murdoch Mysteries (SAPPHIC DOCTORS ARE MY FAVORITE DOCTORS!!!)

Blue Sargent from The Raven Cycle (yes her name is cheesy; yes I love her for it.)

Violet from The Resort (funky little weirdo. I want her to be happy!)

tagging @lesbianphoebespengler @1980s-jean-ralphio @anti-homophobia-cheese @hawkbutt @krisreads18

@djemsowhat @littlemisskittentoes @miss-minnelli @rosecathedral95 @crime-wives

@nostradamus0 @suseagull04 @binkitten and anyone else who wants to join in!

[rmelster]

The Tudors “Margaret” Tudor and purposeless character assassination: A rant.

(This is today’s rant subject, “Margaret” Tudor. Of course, no hate to Gabrielle Anwar, the actress that portrayed her; she has far better roles than this… Bitter princess)

“ICONIC” MARGARET?

(Some) People find it brutally empowering to see this refined lady murder her husband. And certainly, they first present her a very undesirable situation where we cannot do nothing but to be biased in her favour: We have a handsome gentleman of noble birth named Charles Brandon, Duke of Suffolk (played by the equally handsome Henry Cavill), who she has the hots for, and then, this dying, stinky pervert (Manuel I, King of Portugal) that we don’t know exactly why had she married (specially since, both historically and in the show, he had already a vast, healthy progeny). She has to bear with this torture until she says “no more of this” and decides to smother the king and hastily marry the Duke of Suffolk, her true love.

Well, this is when we get three big things wrong:

Firstly, murder remains an inexcusable crime in most of the cases. Imagine a young man killing his elderly wife in that same way. “But men have more authority and bodily autonomy!” It’s. Still. Murder. Henry VIII killed his wives (and many other innocent women both related and unrelated to him) to get with the woman/en he wanted, and we loathe him for that; but in this show, Margaret kills her husband to go back to Suffolk’s torrid embrace, (some( people find it iconic, girlboss, empowering.

Secondly, The Tudors is guilty of the punishable mistake of disguising lust as “passionate love”. We see it in Henry VIII / Anne Boleyn, and we see it in Margaret / Suffolk too. We soon learn that Margaret and the Duke have little to nothing in common, and that they spent most of their times fighting or separate (time that he idly spends in getting under the farthingales of ladies and trying to woo more women above his possibilities, just like the married and very fictional queen Claude of France). Just because he says “I’m sorry” before her grave that doesn’t make this a tragic love story.

Thirdly, she is no empowered character that we should take example of. Even after “freeing” herself from the King of Portugal, she spends most of her time bemoaning her life and the marriage she killed for. And that scene of her disapproving her brother’s “unnatural” divorce by saying: “Oh, I won’t step into a court where a whore rules”. Miss, you literally bedded Suffolk before marrying the King of Portugal, then mercilessly killed your husband, then brought Suffolk back to warm your black widow’s bed and smugly told your brother. Your actions are as bad as Henry’s.

FANCY PRINCESSES DON’T WEAR THAT

As it happens whenever I encounter some The Tudors costume, I felt the dread of seeing clothes that neither of them would have ever worn. Margaret’s dress could have been very cool, but certainly, it had something that I didn’t enjoy. Her hairstyle, as pretty as it is, wouldn’t have been possible nor fashionable in those times, since she would have worn a proper headdress.

(This is a latter impression of Gossaert’s Wedding Portrait of the Dukes of Suffolk, which portrays the real Margaret, whose name was actually Mary, and the real Charles Brandon)

As you can see, the show counterpart misses a proper headdress, jewellery and the French gown that we are so used to see in Mary. She also seemed to borrow a crown from her sworn enemy Anne Boleyn apparently (in the show). I read in the WiKi that Margaret is a rebellious soul that wears unfashionable clothes, which highly contradicts the fashionable Mary Tudor, who brought the French fashions to court. Her clothes in the masque (everyone’s, actually) are highly historically inaccurate, and it is giving cheap copy of Fifty Shades Darker.

WILL THE REAL QUEEN PLEASE STAND UP? Manuel I of Portugal indeed remarried with a young princess, but this wasn’t any Tudor princess, but an Hapsburg one: Her name was Eleanor of Austria, and would become a widow three years of marriage and two children together after. Who Mary Tudor actually married was the King of France, Louis XII, who lacked male heirs (he only had two surviving daughter, the future Queen Claude, and Renee of France) who was fifty two when she was eighteen. And, despite making her brother swear to allow her to remarry in case she widowed (which is far more reasonable than what she did in the show), she was actually pretty kind to her sick, elderly husband, and he was very pleased with her too. Within months of marriage, he sent a letter to King Henry VIII calling him “brother” and expressing his upmost pleasure to be married to her. Mary may have been aware since her childhood, seeing her older siblings marry strategically into the Royal House of Scotland and Castile - Aragon, that she would suffer the same fate, and that she would have to be strong and a worthy sovereign to whatever kingdom she would be bound to reign; though I wouldn’t be so bold to say that she eventually loved him, Mary didn’t openly show her disgust to the king and treated him nicely. He suffered a long and painful agony due to his gout and died barely three months after marrying Mary. She spent some cautionary time in France, in case it was proven that she was with child, and then left.

Princess Mary Tudor, firstly Queen of France and later Duchess of Suffolk, was a pretty interesting character that was slain by the poor writing of the show runners, whose main focus revolves around her (quite unhealthy) sexuality and her good looks; then, after having her becoming a “burden” to Suffolk, they hastily had her killed and, after giving him some cheap ass redemption by looking mildly sad in her funeral (when he was literally bedding another woman as she agonised)m the next chapter comes and he already had set his eyes on his ward (which is nearly an adopted child, but with personal interests). Ironically, the true Charles Brandon had originally betrothed Catherine Willoughby to his son, then married her roughly two months after Mary’s demise; she was fourteen, and he fourty nine, making him thirty five years her senior, which in the show they dismiss quickly. Their age gap was one year bigger than that of the true Mary and Louis XII, but, quite the contrary of the first one, they never dare to make it undesirable in the show. Hypocrisy, I think.

[what-immortal-hand-or-eye]

this is genuinely such a solid establishing scene. we get how other people view Vash, and we see that he's used to hearing people call him a monster and a murderer. It also explains why it takes so long for Meryl to believe that he's actually Vash the Stampede; she expects him to be a monster, and he's not. Then we see that he's considered such a serious threat that he's faced by a whole squad that doesn't stop firing the entire time. And they're apparently right to, because it doesn't faze him

meryl has such a smug look on her face this entire time. she's not afraid of these losers, and she knows that milly's tough enough to scare them off. iconic

it's interesting that the boss says that "he thinks he's funny", because he does. this whole thing is an extended Bit that he's doing mostly for his own amusement. Vash does think he's funny. He gets upset at this goon for not "yes, and" ing him and says "sorry, I don't do requests". He's in a silly goofy mood

wives

they're so...but he's also still fully Doing A Bit so he's still acting all sillygoofy

It's dangerous, but it's the job. Meryl, I would die for you.

I tried to get the part of the roll where he throws the rock that cuts the rope-you can just barely see its path in the upper right corner

stickbug lol

[eldritch-spouse]

Hey Pinney!  Omg Kind Santi just completely wiped me away. Such a long beautiful tail! Anyways it got me thinking. What happens to the wives of icons when they're overthrown? Realistically, I imagine they would get quickly killed along with their husband, but the horny part of my brain wants the ready to get taken as a concubine after a tall sexy demon takes over the circle and kills the basted that kidnapped him.

[I'm sorry, I can't understand the last part of your ask. Thenk you though!]

When an Icon is overthrown by means of death, the Queen is usually given a choice to fight for her title and rule the Ring herself (possibly being killed in her attempt), or simply flee and go into hiding. In the case of Wrath, partners of the King will be chased down and murdered no matter what.

Queens are sometimes coveted by the usurper in question, which usually never ends well, but happens nonetheless.

I don't see Santi being capable of killing Vesper. They've bonded, after all. Rather, this would likely be an AU where Vesper has to step down for some reason or another, and concedes that title to a friend rather than someone who's in better standing with his "court". Santi is far from a cruel incubus, he'd let the former King part ways with his Queen and concubines untouched, and Lacai would be allowed to accompany Vesper as well, if desired. Santi will quickly get the gears of Lust moving and find himself new staff, new bed-warmers.

[2q5b]

VAYECHI

By Ezra

December 26th, 2023

I am a diaspora Jew. This is partly by accident and partly by choice. I was born in the U.S. My Jewish grandparents came to Boston from Poland and Germany after the Nazis made them into child refugees. My mother, raised Catholic, chose Judaism, married my father and converted.

As for me, I could move to Israel, the Promised Land, anytime I want. Many people I know have done this. But I don’t want to.

How can this be? I am a religious person. My prayerbook is dripping with longing for this land, full of texts written by people who couldn’t get there. The Torah that I study week after week is in large part a chronicle of my people inhabiting that land and then trying to return to it. And even if I prefer to stay in the US, how is it that millions of traditional religious Jews are happy to live all over the world, when they could easily relocate to their beloved spiritual homeland?

Today, that land has descended into hell. The IDF perpetrates mass murder, Hamas insists on acts of war, prisoners suffer in desperate conditions, Palestinians starve en masse in a Gaza that has become a ghetto.

It is more obvious than ever that Jewish statehood in the Holy Land has not ended our spiritual exile. A Jewish state may be a political reality, but it is not a spiritual solution. It cannot satisfy our longing. We yearn for something far, far deeper. We yearn for the repair of the world, the end of falsehood and bloodshed, the reign of peace and justice.

I think this deeper yearning, not satisfied by land acquisition, goes way back, back before the Exodus, back to the late chapters of the book of Breishit.

In this week’s Torah portion, Jacob and his children are living happily in Egypt. Before Jacob dies, he asks that they bury him in Canaan. After his death, the Jewish people travel together to the Promised Land for his burial and funeral. It’s not that big a deal. It doesn’t take forty years. They just ask the Pharaoh, he says yes, and they go. And then they come back to their homes in Egypt.

These are, maybe, the first diaspora Jews, and their exile seems voluntary. They could move to Israel, but that’s not where they live, that’s not where they’re raising their children and involved in government and generally thriving. And more: there is a deep purpose, perhaps one they’re not even aware of, for their exile in Egypt.

Jacob’s death ends the period of the patriarchs and matriarchs, the avot and imahot. These iconic three generations of ancestors–Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Rachel and Leah–are credited as the originators of our spiritual tradition. Genesis has been largely a book not so much about a community as about these towering individuals, whose personalities and accomplishments still reverberate in our liturgy, our mythology, our souls. 

And from the beginning there is this strange pressure for each of these generations to have one single spiritual inheritor. A chosen child to continue the mission, to receive messages from God, never mind the familial discord this may create. It’s Isaac, not Ishmael. It’s Jacob, not Eisav. And Jacob seems poised to father the next great inheritor.

But something changes in Jacob’s generation. His plan to marry Rachel goes awry when he is tricked into marrying Leah first, and he eventually also marries two of their servants for a total of four wives, with whom he fathers thirteen children. Rachel is the last one to give birth, and her firstborn son Joseph seems, early on, to be that special chosen one, the one Jacob favors. But that plan, too, goes awry. Joseph has ten older brothers who are not happy about this favoritism, ten Eisavs to worry about compared to his father, who had a hard enough time fending off just one. And the old model, of one saint passing the torch to the inheriting saint, finally breaks. The brothers turn on Joseph and sell him into slavery in Egypt.

Joseph, like the three patriarchs, is a singular personality. His individual story is dramatic and righteous. But what he’s not is the next Isaac, the next Jacob. There is no next Jacob. A new era has begun: the era of B’nei Yisrael, the children of Israel (Jacob’s alternate name). This becomes the name of the nation which will be used throughout the Bible. The dynasty is no longer a dynasty, but an expanded family in which all are equal inheritors of the tradition, with no single clear leader. A large group in solidarity and spiritual alignment.

Simultaneous with this shift is the movement from Canaan to Egypt. Our parasha is the end of Breishit and the beginning of Shmot, the second book of the Torah, which will be radically different than the first. Jacob gives his parting blessings to his children at the dawn of the exile and transmits a crucial message: “God will be with you and will bring you back to the land of your ancestors.”

They could return right now. The text makes sure we know that they are able, shows us how easy it is. But they don’t. Instead they allow their holy land to exist as a horizon of spiritual possibility. Here the Promised Land becomes what it remains for the rest of the five books of Moses: an ever-receding myth, somewhere we approach, but never fully reach.

And this is how the Jewish people as we know it is born.

Exile is dangerous, make no mistake. Though Joseph wants his family to live with him in Egypt and share in the power and abundance he has attained there, Jacob needs explicit encouragement from God before going. “Have no fear of descending to Egypt,” God told him in last week’s parasha, “for I shall establish you as a great nation there. I myself shall descend with you to Egypt and I myself will also surely bring you up.” Jacob is right to be afraid: in Egypt, his descendants will face mass enslavement and murder. And yet there is something about exile that is necessary to the Jewish mission in the world, that both expands and deepens it. As Joseph tells his brothers when they are first reunited, “Don’t be distressed…God has sent me ahead of you to ensure your survival in the land and to sustain you for a momentous deliverance.”

Exile is not all bad, the Torah tells us. In fact it is indispensable. It has a very real purpose. It widens the capacity of the Jewish people. It allows us to grow beyond a closed-off little family that talks to God. It allows our spirituality to impact history.

The late 19th-century Polish hasidic thinker known as the Sfat Emet is one of my personal favorite Torah commentators. I doubt my love for his teachings can be separated from my love for my own Polish grandfather, z”l. Living amidst rampant and institutionalized anti-Semitism, the Sfat Emet taught, “This is the purpose of exile: that Israel make visible God’s kingdom, which is indeed everywhere. The true meaning of the word galut (exile) is hitgalut (revealing), that the glory of God’s kingdom be revealed in every place.” 

These two Hebrew words share a root for a good reason. Exile is dangerous, one is uncovered. Without protection, vulnerable. Showing oneself, speaking truth, can be dangerous in the same way. The faith of the Jewish diaspora is that this kind of vulnerability can be worth it. If you stay in your fortress, you are safe but you are cut off, you cannot communicate. If you grab your flashlight and walk into a dark, uncertain world, you light up the road on which you walk.

The transformation of the patriarch era into an era of communal expansion in Egypt has a similar kind of opening quality, an uncovering that also entails a loss. The patriarchal intimacy with God, a clarity and protection, give way to an imperfect but much more widely shared relationship with God.

Jacob himself feels this loss as it happens. His blessing of his twelve sons in this week’s parsha begins with a mysterious introduction. “Assemble yourselves,” he announces, “and I will tell you what will befall you in the latter days.” B’acharit ha-yamim. But he never seems to get to that information, nor does he specify what days he means. What follows instead is an oblique poem containing cryptic blessings for his children. An old midrash sheds light: “He wanted to reveal the end of the exile, but the Shchinah (the Presence of God) departed him, so he began to speak of other things.” 

This failure to communicate is connected to exile. Far from home under foreign rule, Jacob is in some way blocked from prophecy. A kind of perfect awareness has been lost to him, signaling the end of his era of patriarchal perfection and the beginning of something else, something larger and deeper.

When the Sfat Emet, a wise man living in the exile of his own time, tries to teach about this midrash, he too is partly blocked, his memory fails him. He teaches, “I believe my grandfather quoted the Rabbi of Pr-shiss-cha (Przysucha) as wondering why Jacob wanted to reveal the end. His answer was that when the end is known, exile is made easier. That’s all I remember, but it seems to mean the same: revealing the end means knowing there is an end to exile, and that shows it to be but a matter of hiding, not a force of its own… Jacob our Father just wanted there to be no mistake about this, that it all be obvious, but that goal eluded him. You need to struggle to find truth.” 

The contemporary spiritual exile, the one you and I are living through, is not easy, at times it is horrific. How it will end, how a better world could be revealed, is not yet clear. But if we are struggling to find the truth, struggling to uncover it, then we will not have wasted our time. Wherever we are in the world, it is our task right here and now to reveal and enact the good and the holy, the better world that is possible, hiding in plain sight.

Chazak Chazak v’Nitchazeik.

[cerine0357]

Incorrect Quotes

*Odelia helping Lucifer learn words he struggles in while speaking or writing English:

Lucifer: A theif. Odelia: Thief? Lucifer: Theif. Odelia: I before E, except after C. Lucifer: Thceif. Lucifer: No.

Myhilara on her period like:

Satan: What is your biggest weakness? Myhilara: I can be uncooperative. Satan: Okay, can you give me an example? Myhilara: No.

Lucifer trying to stop Odelia from murdering a lower demon for insulting one of her sisters/ sister-in-laws/brother-in-laws:

Lucifer: Odelia, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power! Odelia: Well of course I have. Odelia: Have you ever tried going mad without power? Odelia: It's boring.

Aurelesia mad at Belial because he ate her mochi:

Belial: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor. Aurelesia: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

Lucifer at one of his parties:

Lucifer: Welcome, fellow idiots Odelia: Hello, Lucifer Lucifer: No, no, not you my dearest, you're not an idiot Odelia: You underestimate me, my darling......

Mammon and Aurmelle.....Just Mammon and Aurmelle:

Mammon: I learned some very valuable lessons from this. Aurmelle: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away. Mammon: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

Lucifer and Odelia being themselves:

Lucifer: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you Odelia: 10 times 0 is still 0 though Lucifer: Jokes on you, I can't do math

Belial hates everyone, except his wife:

Mammon: That bastard isn’t answering his phone Aurelesia: I’ll call Lucifer: My lady, all my brothers, their wives and I have all tried six times each, what makes you thi- Belial: Hello?

Lord.Diavolo mad at Lucifer for being a wimp:

Lucifer, trying to ask Odelia out: Would you like to stay for dinner? Diavolo: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

Mammon X Aurmelle moments:

Mammon: Change is inedible. Aurmelle: Don't you mean inevitable? Mammon, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

Aurmelle is 20X dangerous than Mammon:

Mammon: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? Aurmelle: You mean literally or figuratively? Mammon: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

Late night thoughts with Mammon:

Mammon: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent? Aurmelle: Go the fuck to sleep Mammon: What gif I don't want to? Aurmelle: Fuck You

Mammon when asked to go to a royal interview:

Mammon: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Don't wake me up....

Mammon is also avatar of Narcissism...Apparently:

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Mammon* Mammon: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

Lucifer, being twin-deprived....:

Lucifer: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait. Belial: You and me!!! Lucifer, tearing up: Okay.

Belial, the advice giver:

Lucifer: How do I deal with my enemies? Belial: Kill them Lucifer: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution?? Belial: Kill them only a little?

Lucifer doesn't like stubble and hates to shave:

Lucifer: Belial! My face is on fire! Belial: Lucifer! Are you ok?! Lucifer: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly. Belial: But your face is on fire. Lucifer: Yes. It's much faster than shaving.

Lucifer hates being healthy:

Lucifer: You're my darling twin and my best friend, I would do anything for you. Belial: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Lucifer: Absolutely not.

Lucifer and his stupid, literal dad jokes:

Lucifer: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside Belial: Belial: Lucifer, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn... Lucifer: *Sips coffee from bowl*

two hot and dangerous wives:

Myhilara: Someone will die. Aurmelle: Of fun!

tag list: @writerig @dxmoness @roseadleyn @orlic1a @salvatvre @honeyandbiscuitandtea-cafe @crownxie @gallahxn

[tobegentleandkind]

(Re-)Reading Shakespeare 17/38: Richard III

"If not to heaven, than hand in hand to hell."

My first time reading this play, so I was finally introduced to the ultimate Shakespearean villain who is the OG of villain monologues. It is interesting how this play engages evilness and if it is natural or comes with a reason. For example, Richard's motif to do evil is that he does not correspond to beauty standards, as he is bodily "deformed" and feels the need to have power because he thinks he will never have love. For that reason he kills the entire male part of his family and every other person with a claim to tje throne and marries firstly Lady Anne, whose husband he has killed, and later his own niece, all very compelling moves. What's more, he is misogynist (callingbthe group of women who alleges him for murder 'tell-tale women', thereby discrediting female voices) and is a user of right-wing rhetoric (telling his army before the battle against Richmond that if they lose, the Bretons will steal their wives and rape their daughters). Furthermore, he seems to be able to persuade people to do what he wants, especially women who actually hate him. Is he really that cunning or does he have some sort of magical powers? Very tellingly, he is often associated with hell or called devil by other people. But then again, his evilness is presented as not natural, as his conscience pulls a Lady Macbeth and begins to eat him up, as the ghosts of his victims appear in the night before battle to curse him to lose. (Also, curses are a recurring theme in this play, as old queen Margerat has an iconic scene where she curses Richard's entire family for their death of her husband, the former King Henry VI, and her son). When Richard wakes up from his nightmare his mental state derogates more and more: he leads an argument with himself, speaking from two perspectives, one that loves and one that abhors himself. This shows that his conscience finally begins to set in. Lastly, after all the evil doings, the ending of the play is very hopeful and encourages the belief that the world is good: at the morning of the battle the sun does not go up, an omen that shows that nature is against evilness, a bad omen for Richard, a good omen for Richmond, who eventually kills Richard and leads his army to victory. The good has succeeded and although the sun never went up this day, the future of England seems to be brighter that what happened in the past.

[moriartyluver]

fl and Liam low key remind me of Gomez and Morticia🤭

Extremely down bad and dedicated to her needs and wants husbands with smart asf girlboss asf iconic asf wives >>>

🎀.

YES I LOVE THIS DYNAMIC

Men who are just simps>>>

I need someone to be the Gomez to my moriticia so baddd

(Love how we just babygirlified liam to being a male wife instead of a kinda psychopathic mass murderer)

[bloodyhistorie]

WHAT LOOKED LIKE A GARDEN WAS A GRAVEYARD ALL ALONG.

BLOODYHISTORIE. is an independent & original dual muse rp blog for anne & blanche ozanne of my original play, these bloody histories. an adaption of the bluebeard folktale. written by bee (25, she/they, est).

tldr ; bluebeard, but there are no deus ex machina brothers. blanche marries bluebeard & anne and blanche save themselves (with help from a ghost).

rules.

this blog is selective & mutuals only. prefer plotting-based.

anne & blanche are from my own original play these bloody histories. please don't steal anything of them or their plot.

at this moment in time this blog is iconless because i don't feel like making more, but that is subject to change when i get bit by the iconning bug! fcs are dakota fanning for anne and elle fanning for blanche.

the themes and imagery of violence, specifically violence towards women, death, murder, misogyny & sexism, gore, body horror, blood, and hauntings will be on this blog. they will be tagged. all triggers will be tagged as trigger /. these triggers are all highly tied to the themes and setting of this story and will be unavoidable on this blog, so while they will be tagged it might be best to avoid following if any of these are highly triggering for you!

basic rp rules apply. no godmodding. do not follow or interact if you're racist, homophobic, write things like in*est, etc.

basic plot & character outline.

(this is serving as a general about until i make a carrd, and is essentially a scene by scene outline of the play.)

two sisters live once upon a time ( questionably period france ). anne is the elder sister and reviles what society expects of her, preferring to bury her nose in a book or attend a symposium rather than dance or think of marriage. blanche, the younger, is the image of a perfect lady and excited at the prospect of the future - if a little naive about it.

anne is 23 & blanche is 20. on blanche's 20th birthday, a man named bluebeard comes to blanche's birthday ball. anne - who knows that bluebeard has five dead wives, including the sister of a childhood friend of hers - is wary, but blanche is not. bluebeard gives blanche a diamond necklace and invited anne, blanche, and their mother to gala hosted by his wife in a fortnight.

anne is forbidden by their mother to tell blanche about her reservations about bluebeard. an unseasonably cold storm for mid-spring makes their trip to bluebeard's chateau take longer than it ought to, and upon their arrival there are no other guests & no sign of a gala.

bluebeard tells them that his wife, delphine, grew ill and passed away between the last time he saw them and their arrival, and that word of the gala being cancelled must not have reached them in time. he insists they stay for a few days before heading back.

lights flicker. chairs move on their own. a tea-tray all but throws itself off a table. bluebeard insists it is nothing to be worried about - drafts and odd quirks of an old home. mother & blanche agree to remain polite, anne grows more and more suspicious.

anne & blanche quarrel frequently as blanche & bluebeard grow closer over the course of their stay. anne admits she believes bluebeard is a murderer, and blanche believes anne is jealous of her & worried blanche will leave her to get married. they argue several times, which only serves to drive blanche further from anne and towards bluebeard. the two have an explosive argument wherein anne calls blanche a fool and blanche calls anne controlling.

bluebeard proposes to blanche & blanche accepts. anne sees the ghost of a bride and tries to warn blanche, who is unreceptive. blanche & bluebeard are wed quickly. anne returns home with mother.

a handful of months pass in which the sisters scarcely communicate, until anne receives a frantic sounding letter from blanche imploring her older sister come to the chateau post-haste.

when anne arrives, blanche is a wreck and tells anne that bluebeard is out of town for several weeks and left blanche with the keys to the home and permission to enter any room but one she had never been in before. she had, of course, entered - to find a blood-soaked chamber containing the dessicated remains of several corpses. strange occurrences had picked up their frequency and the spectre of a bride has been flickering in and out of sight. blanche wants to run, but anne convinces her to lay a trap.

bluebeard arrives home and quickly discovers that blanche has opened the door and seen what is inside, but does not know anne is at the home. when he threatens blanche, telling her she must die because of what she has seen, anne pounces. in a protracted physical fight bluebeard nearly gets the upper hand on blanche & anne, who wield what weapons they could find in the house vs his sword, but the spectre of his past wives aid anne & blanche. bluebeard is killed by the sisters and the spirits of the women he has killed, who are then able to move on peacefully.

blanche & anne disguise the fact bluebeard ever arrived home and spread word that he was killed while away. no one mourns him. blanche, a wealthy widow, invites anne to live with her at what is now her chateau. life continues.