#ich luge bullets

[ichlugeichlugeichluge]

{a bitter dream, a calm nightmare}

[ur-average-farp]

ok but what if veronica spoke german

jd: we're filling the gun with "ich luge" bullets veronica: ... "i'm lying" bullets? jd: jd: uh

[we-were-meant-to-be-one]

One Final Time

JDronica post-canon - brief mention of sex, angst, hurt/no comfort.

It had been a handful of months since JD’s stunt. Veronica had convinced herself she was over it. She wasn’t. She wouldn’t admit it, but she was miles from it. She thought about him whenever she saw something bright blue. She thought about him whenever she saw a cigarette. When she saw a gun. A motorcycle speeding down the road. Corn Nuts. She thought about him every time she passed Heather’s house on her way to and from school. She thought about him every time she went to the woods behind Westerburg High. She thought about his smell, his funny smile, his laugh, his stupid coat. She also thought about what a dickhead he was. He killed 3 people. Correction: they killed 3 people. But he was a part of it. He was the mastermind. He gave her ich luge bullets. If only she had taken German. He must’ve thought he was a genius, sneaking something like that in. She had only figured out the meaning after his death. She wished she had found out before Ram and Kurt were dead.

She had snuck into his room the night after his suicide. She took in his hamster. She didn’t know its name, so she went with Snappy. Jason had talked about him, but never mentioned a name. She had to take Snappy, since God knows Bud wouldn’t take care of the poor thing. Veronica couldn’t collect herself enough to rummage through his room, though. Snappy was all she had the capacity to find.

Her thoughts of Jason had been subsiding, though. Of course, she’d probably never forget him, but she wasn’t thinking of him every day like she used to. She considered it an improvement. The days ticked by, until she reached February 13th. The day before Valentine’s.

Jason was never the romantic type. He bought her slushes from time to time, but that was about it. They never went on traditional dates. He said he loved Veronica in cryptic ways. His favorite was to tell her that their love was God. Whatever the fuck that meant. Jason was more of a physical boy. He always wanted to touch her. He was always trying to have a quickie with her between classes in the janitor’s closet. Their first time together, in her backyard, was the only time she’d truly felt loved during sex. Her 8th grade boyfriend and her one boyfriend after that had very little regard for her comfort. Jason was rough, without a doubt, but he tried to keep her comfortable. Thinking of sex with him made her shiver, both in a good and bad way. She remembered when their relationship was spiraling and everything was coming to a close. He had kissed her involuntarily twice. Once when she broke up with him and again in the boiler room. She didn’t like to think about it. She broke away both times, but was conflicted. Of course, she was disgusted, but she still liked those kisses a little. One last indicator that he was hers and she was his. Even if it was against her will.

It hurt her heart to know they’d never celebrate a Valentine’s together. Even if he wasn’t romantic, Veronica was sure he’d get her a flower or chocolates. Snappy Snack Shack typically sold those shitty chocolates in heart-shaped boxes. Maybe he would have gotten her one of those.

Here she was, sitting on her couch. February 13th. The day before Valentine’s. A day she’d never spend with Jason Dean. She had no plans. She didn’t have a date or a party to go to. Veronica rose from the couch, going upstairs to her room. She sat on her bed and grabbed her diary from its hiding spot between her mattress and headboard. Thumbing through the pages, she landed on the one she was looking for. The first day after spring break. She wanted to see what she had written there.

As she read through, her eyes welled with tears. Past Veronica had mentioned this “dark horse”, how handsome and funny he was. How he had pulled that thing with Ram and Kurt. How he seemed like he didn’t give a fuck. How he was a “cool guy”. If only Past Veronica knew what she did. He was funny and handsome, but he was a monster. How he would go on to kill 3 people with her. How he would try to kill hundreds more in one big explosion. A tear dropped onto the page. Veronica shut the book and put it back in its spot. She wanted to see his room for the last time. She wanted to feel a little bit of him before Valentine’s.

She left her house, telling her parents she wanted to grab something at Snappy’s. She walked down the block, past Heather’s house. Past Snappy’s. Past Westerburg High.

Eventually she stopped. She stood in front of the tree next to his window. Making her way up the tree, she hoped the window was unlocked. She reached the top and pulled the window up. She transferred herself onto the window sill and gazed into his room. His room was silent and cold. It was in the state it had been the last time she entered. Except some of the drawers were opened and there were papers scattered everywhere. Bud. He must’ve been rummaging through Jason’s drawers. For what, Veronica didn’t know. She assumed he wanted booze money. She hoped he got it. She wanted him to drink himself to death.

She inhaled and prepared herself. Gingerly setting one foot on the floor below her, she followed with the other. She was standing in his room. She made her way deeper. She didn’t know what she was doing there, really. She just knew she needed to be there. She walked towards the bed and sat down. The mattress sunk under her and made a quiet squeak. His bedspread and pillows were nicely arranged. Veronica looked down at her lap. Her hands were trembling. She knew she could cry at any moment. Looking to her right, she saw a paper on his nightstand. It was in what she presumed to be his handwriting. It fluttered in her hands when she picked it up. The first three words took her by surprise.

“To my love”

This paper was… for her. Her hands shook more. She had to read it, even if it killed her inside.

“First, I think you’re alive. That noose was way too loose. I could tell. I didn’t have the heart to tell you I knew. Moving on, this is my suicide note, I guess. I’m sure I’ll never give it to you, especially if everything goes according to plan. We’re going to die together, along with every student and teacher at Westerburg High. The school will be ash, along with us. Poetic.”

Anger welled up in Veronica’s heart, quickly replaced by sadness. Her hands were gripping the paper so tight it was wrinkling. She loosened her grip. Glancing to the next paragraph, she noted that the handwriting was visibly shakier.

“V, you’re the love of my life. I know it doesn’t seem like it. I know I’ve done shitty things. I know I’m about to do something even shittier. I know I can’t control myself. I know I’m a bad person. But I also know that this is the only way I cope. Veronica, I accept that you won’t understand. That’s okay. I love you. If there’s a heaven, I hope you go to it. I know I won’t. I hope you and every other student have a wonderful time up there. Maybe they’ll host a dance. A prom, even. A prom in heaven. Veronica, I’m not sorry for what I’m doing. I never will be. I’m aware it’s wrong, but it’s what I must do.

Seeing you in the cafeteria on my first day opened my eyes. I saw a beautiful girl trapped by her status. You needed my help. You needed to see what I saw. I needed you to see what I saw. You’re beautiful, darling. I love you. I hope you miss me. I wish I could kiss you one last time.

By the way, my real answer to that stupid question you asked me for Heather’s lunchtime poll is this: I’d spend it with you, doing whatever you’d like. We could spend our last day at Snappy, if that’s what you wanted.

Our love is God,

Jason Dean”

Next to his name was a poorly drawn heart. The tears began to fall. Veronica tossed the paper aside, not wanting to soak it. She stared at her hands. Tears dripped onto them. She let out quiet sobs. She had to hold back in case Bud was home. JD loved her, in his own fucked up way, to the end. And she still loved him. He was a deplorable piece of shit, but he was hers. And she was his. She’d never see him again. Veronica bent down and grabbed the paper, folding it gently. A few tears fell onto it and the ink smudged a little. She put it into the pocket of her blazer. She tried to stand up, but collapsed back onto the bed. Fuck it. She began sobbing louder than she ever had. She curled into a ball, grabbing his pillow. Holding it against her face, she smelled his shampoo. She’d never hold him again.

He was gone.

[turtle-bee-rayne]

[J.D.:] They made you cry But that will end tonight You are the only thing that's right About this broken world Go on and cry But when the morning comes We'll burn it down and then We'll build the world again... Our love is God

[VERONICA:] Are you okay?

[J.D.:] I was alone I was a frozen lake But then you melted me awake See, now I'm crying too You're not alone

[VERONICA:] You're not alone

[J.D.:] And when the morning comes

[VERONICA:] When the morning comes

[J.D.:] We'll burn away that tear, and raise our city here...

[VERONICA:] Raise our city here...

[J.D. & VERONICA:] Our love is God

[KURT:] Yeah-lo?

[VERONICA:] Hi, Kurt, it's Veronica... how did you know it was always a fantasy of mine to have two guys at once?

[KURT:] Wowuhh... lucky guess?

[VERONICA:] Well, if you want it to come true, meet me at the cemetery, at dawn

[KURT:] Free pussy!

[RAM:] And we don't even have to buy it a pizza!

[KURT:] Punch it in! Whaat?! Hahaha!

[J.D.:] We can start and finish wars

[J.D. & VERONICA:] We're what killed the dinosaurs We're the asteroid that's overdue The dinosaurs choked on the dust They died because God said they must The new world needed room For me and you

[J.D.:] I worship you I'd trade my life for yours They all will disappear We'll plant our garden here

[VERONICA:] Plant our garden here

[J.D.:] Our love is God

[VERONICA:] Our love is God

[J.D.:] Our love is God

[VERONICA:] Our love is God

[VERONICA:] Whoa. Is that real?

[J.D.:] Yeah, but we're filling it with "Ich Luge" bullets

[VERONICA:] Ich Luge...? What?

[J.D.:] My grandad scored them in World War II. They contain this powerful tranquilizer. The Nazis used them to fake their own suicides when the Russians invaded Berlin. We will use them to knock Kurt and Ram out just long enough to make it look like a suicide pact. Complete with a forged suicide note:

[KURT & RAM:] "Ram and I died because we had to hide our gay forbidden love from a misapproving world."

[J.D.:] And when the morning comes They'll both be laughing stocks

[J.D. & VERONICA:] So let's go hunt some jocks!

[KURT:] Hi... Veronica

[RAM:] So do we just whip it out or what?

[VERONICA:] uh… Take it slow, Ram. Strip for me

[RAM:] OK

[KURT:] Okaaay...What about you?

[VERONICA:] Oh, well, I was hoping you could rip my clothes off me, sport

[KURT:] Yeah, we can do that

[VERONICA:] Count of three

[VERONICA, KURT & RAM:] One... two...

[J.D.:] Three

[KURT:] Holy crap!

[J.D.:] Stay there! I’ll get him Kurt! Kurt!

[KURT:] You killed my best friend!

[VERONICA:] Ram?

[KURT:] Why are you chasing me?

[VERONICA:] Ram? You're just unconscious, right? Ram?

[RAM:] I was just kidding about the Bo Diddley thing!

[VERONICA:] Ram!

[J.D.:] Get off the fence! Get off the damn fence!

[KURT:] I don't understand!

[J.D.:] We can start and finish wars We're what killed the dinosaurs We're the asteroid that's overdue

[KURT:] Stop being a dick!

[J.D.:] The dinosaurs will turn to dust

[KURT:] What does that mean?!

[J.D.:] They'll die because we say they must

[VERONICA:] What the fuck have you done?!

[J.D.:] ...I worship you I'd trade my life for yours We'll make them disappear We'll plant our garden here Our love is God Our love is God Our love is God

[VERONICA:] Our love is God...

[J.D.:] Our love is God...

[VERONICA:] Our love is God...

[J.D.:] Our love is God...!

Amazing song 😌

[theamityelf]

Ich luge bullets and friendliness pellets have the same energy.

[grianthedecayingbird]

[J.D.:]

They made you cry

But that will end tonight

You are the only thing that's right

About this broken world

Go on and cry

But when the morning comes

We'll burn it down and then

We'll build the world again...

Our love is God

[VERONICA:]

Are you okay?

[J.D.:]

I was alone

I was a frozen lake

But then you melted me awake

See, now I'm crying too

You're not alone

[VERONICA:]

You're not alone

[J.D.:]

And when the morning comes

[VERONICA:]

When the morning comes

[J.D.:]

We'll burn away that tear, and raise our city here...

[VERONICA:]

Raise our city here...

[J.D. & VERONICA:]

Our love is God

[KURT:]

Yeah-lo?

[VERONICA:]

Hi, Kurt, it's Veronica... how did you know it was always a fantasy of mine to have two guys at once?

[KURT:]

Wowuhh... lucky guess?

[VERONICA:]

Well, if you want it to come true, meet me at the cemetery, at dawn

[KURT:]

Free pussy!

[RAM:]

And we don't even have to buy it a pizza!

[KURT:]

Punch it in! Whaat?! Hahaha!

[J.D.:]

We can start and finish wars

[J.D. & VERONICA:]

We're what killed the dinosaurs

We're the asteroid that's overdue

The dinosaurs choked on the dust

They died because God said they must

The new world needed room

For me and you

[J.D.:]

I worship you

I'd trade my life for yours

They all will disappear

We'll plant our garden here

[VERONICA:]

Plant our garden here

[J.D.:]

Our love is God

[VERONICA:]

Our love is God

[J.D.:]

Our love is God

[VERONICA:]

Our love is God

[VERONICA:]

Whoa. Is that real?

[J.D.:]

Yeah, but we're filling it with "Ich Luge" bullets

[VERONICA:]

Ich Luge...? What?

[J.D.:]

My grandad scored them in World War II. They contain this powerful tranquilizer.

The Nazis used them to fake their own suicides when the Russians invaded Berlin.

We will use them to knock Kurt and Ram out just long enough to make it look like a suicide pact.

Complete with a forged suicide note:

[KURT & RAM:]

"Ram and I died because we had to hide our gay forbidden love from a misapproving world."

[J.D.:]

And when the morning comes

They'll both be laughing stocks

[J.D. & VERONICA:]

So let's go hunt some jocks!

[KURT:]

Hi... Veronica

[RAM:]

So do we just whip it out or what?

[VERONICA:]

uh… Take it slow, Ram. Strip for me

[RAM:]

OK

[KURT:]

Okaaay...What about you?

[VERONICA:]

Oh, well, I was hoping you could rip my clothes off me, sport

[KURT:]

Yeah, we can do that

[VERONICA:]

Count of three

[VERONICA, KURT & RAM:]

One... two...

[J.D.:]

Three

[KURT:]

Holy crap!

[J.D.:]

Stay there! I’ll get him

Kurt! Kurt!

[KURT:]

You killed my best friend!

[VERONICA:]

Ram?

[KURT:]

Why are you chasing me?

[VERONICA:]

Ram? You're just unconscious, right? Ram?

[RAM:]

I was just kidding about the Bo Diddley thing!

[VERONICA:]

Ram!

[J.D.:]

Get off the fence! Get off the damn fence!

[KURT:]

I don't understand!

[J.D.:]

We can start and finish wars

We're what killed the dinosaurs

We're the asteroid that's overdue

[KURT:]

Stop being a dick!

[J.D.:]

The dinosaurs will turn to dust

[KURT:]

What does that mean?!

[J.D.:]

They'll die because we say they must

[VERONICA:]

What the fuck have you done?!

[J.D.:]

...I worship you

I'd trade my life for yours

We'll make them disappear

We'll plant our garden here

Our love is God

Our love is God

Our love is God

[VERONICA:]

Our love is God...

[J.D.:]

Our love is God...

[VERONICA:]

Our love is God...

[J.D.:]

Our love is God...!

im bawl my eyes out..

OUR LOVE IS GOD 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥

[blueikeproductions]

Veronica: W-we killed them… We killed Thrash and Throttle… -drops the gun in disbelief-

JD: Uh-huh. -blows the smoke from his Ich Luge “stun gun”- Why’re you crying? I thought you’d be happy! Your tormentors are gone.

Veronica: G…Gone… GONE!? HAVE YOU BEEN HUFFING PAINT WITH TRACEY?! I didn’t WANT them DEAD, JD!

JD: -looks genuinely confused- Y-you didn’t? B-but they were harassing you AND Danny-boy physically, a-a-and the whole sword fight in your mouth thing…! …Huh… How DOES that even work… Maybe I need to ask Kur- -ahem- uh one of the gay guys… -looks at Thrash and Throttle’s corpses- Not these two stud muffins obviously. -kicks Thrash in the ribs-

Veronica: Right, sure, kick them while they’re down! …Oh god what am I saying…

JD: Why not? Nobody liked them anyway…except Cheryl … who I think we can both agree has major self esteem problems and a taste for trash. And hey we took OUT the trash! =D

Veronica: STOP TRYING TO PUT A POSITIVE SPIN ON THIS!

— —

Elsewhere.

Dan, Kurt and Ram are taking turns playing TMNT: The Arcade Game at Ram’s house with Ram’s kid sister watching them curiously.

Kurt: -suddenly flinches in what appears to be pain-

Ram: -also has an odd, pained, flinching reaction and grabs his chest-

Dan: Whoa, what’s wrong with you two?

Ram: I… I dunno. I feel like I … dodged a bullet there…

Dan: Huh?

Kurt: You too, bro? I had this weird thought about dust and dinosaurs and kinda got freaked out…

Dan and Ram’s sister look at each other confused.

Ram’s sister: You’re making less sense than usual, Ram. Maybe you’re too sober. -teases her brother by waving a beer can in his face-

Ram: …Hmph! -takes the can after a beat-

Dan: -looks concerned but unsure of what to say decides to diffuse the situation- Well let’s see if you guys can dodge this! -Has Donatello do a staff sweep attack that knocks Leo and Mikey off the platform-

Kurt: AW FUCK. -tries to rebound-

Ram: No fair, we were having an excess-textile crisis!

Ram’s sister: “Existential”…

Ram: Geezer’un-height.

Dan: He’s back.

— —

Elsewhere, elsewhere

Tracey looks up from her bong: …Hey! -spews out a large puff of smoke- I huffed paint ONCE… by accident… and now I don’t hear the end of it! -puffs in irritation- The audacity. -exhales annoyed-

[sweetface-the-dollbaby]

Not my dumb ass thinking ich luge bullets were a real thing-

[thetorturedpoetsintern]

The School for Young Assasins, pt III (the final part)

*credits for the drawing to @serpenera. Thank you for letting me use it!🤍

Note: I know it's been a while but I just couldn't write the ending right. Thanks to my burnout I got from coding daily for the past month and a half now I finally got to finish this story. And I hope you like it. Enjoy!🤍 tagging @smilingformoney and @astronova-00 to let them know that the story they showed interest into finally got its conclusion.

Warnings: to not spoil anything i'll say just death and a lot of talk about it and about suicide, also angst as hell. Again, if you're a maurader stan, this is just a work of fiction, James and Sirius take the role of Kurt and Ram, period. No massive editing, just raw material.

Part 1 // Part 2

“Put those back!” Veronica urged, looking panicked from left to right to check if anyone in the library heard or saw anything.

“So you’re familiar with them… All the better,” Severus smirked at her, putting the two pistols back in his school bag. He hunched over it, trying to fit them inside as they were before he showed them to Veronica.

“I’m not ignorant as others in the Muggle Studies class,” she whisper-shouted at him. Severus knew who those others Veronica mentioned. They were all those dunderheads that didn’t deserve to breath a second more, the ones he and Veronica would take care of. He could already imagine them two conquering the world from the shadows, two rogues against the system, always two steps ahead.

 “But how are you going to scare them if you plan to kill them? Dead bodies can’t feel.” Veronica wanted for all this to be a dream but she could tell by seeing him so confident near her that this was all reality, his reality, their reality, her reality. Severus didn’t respond so she continued: “You already shot at them with blanks, that won’t scare them if you thought about it. Plus, where in Merlin’s name did you get them?” Her eyes met his school bag. 

The guns, always the guns, why can’t she just go with the flow and thank me later? Always asking questions, too many questions, he thought.

“When you have a drunk, violent, and muggle father, you’d be amazed to see what one can find in the house waiting to be taken.” And it was true. Severus found one pistol in the bathroom of his father’s house. The bastard tried to take his life from the looks of it, and he couldn’t even manage to do the deed. Coward. One pistol turned into two with the help of a multiplying charm. You know what they say, you can’t make a killer if you don’t squeeze the trigger with your own finger. “And we’re going to use Ich luge bullets,” Severus added nonchalantly.

“Ich lu - What?”

“Ich luge bullets. The nazis used them in World War Two to fake their own deaths.” He could tell Veronica didn’t understand a word he said, but it was all good. It meant his charade would hold for long enough. “Muggle history. I didn’t expect you to know it. You’re pureblood after all. But thanks to them we can forge their suicide and make it look like a suicide pact. The bullets will leave them unconscious for some hours. It would probably damage some tissue but it won’t be anything deadly.”

“You’re sure it’s safe?” Oh, she was so delicious with her innocence. He would miss her once he turned her to his liking.

“Of course. Now, for the suicide scene. We shoot them and make it look like they shot each other and by the time they wake up, they’ll be the laughing stock of this school. And for the final piece, we need a suicide note.”

“And what did you have in mind?” Veronica asked, her face blank, with no indications of her true feelings. If you want to mingle with the predator, you have to act like one. Severus smiled when he noticed this and added proudly: “How about ‘James and I died because we had to hide our gay forbidden love from a misapproving world.’?”

“I can make it work,” she smirked at him. Veronica decided then to give him one more chance. If it turned out to be a messed up joke, fine, haha and move on, trying to make Severus see that the world wasn’t such a harsh place as he thought. But if it was the opposite, some cruel thing with consequences like the Heather Chandler accident, then it was goodbye.

And so they planned the encounter with James and Sirius for the remainder of their time in the library. By the time they each went to their common rooms, the note was written, the weapons distributed to both of them, and the lure set.

The lure consisted of a letter inviting James and Sirius to a menage a trois with Veronica in the forbidden forest, that night, at around 9. The letter emphasized this fantasy of hers and how shy she was about it until she gave it a second thought. 

******

There they were. Both James and Sirius were facing Veronica in a moonlit clearing far from curious eyes. She tried to control her urge of fidgeting and biting her bottom lip nervously. She could feel the coldness of the gun’s barrel against her lower back and couldn’t think of anything else, no matter how hard she tried. 

“Glad you could come!” Veronica managed as seductively as she could. “I’ll ask you each to step in the circle closest to you,” she said as they appeared on the ground with a wave of her hand. James and Sirius stepped inside without any fuss, too excited by the prospect of making the “once nerdy, now hot bombshell hanging with the Heathers” theirs. “Now strip for me!” They got rid quickly of their cloaks, shirts were discarded and when they got to their belts James raised his head, eyebrows meeting in a silent question, trying to make Sirius look at him. 

“What about you, Veronica?” Sirius voiced the other’s query.

“I thought you could rip my clothes off of me, sport!” She gave them a reassuring wink. Veronica prayed for this to end soon. She felt sick, dirty, ashamed. What did she think she was doing so late after curfew? Playing good auror-bad auror with Severus in front of those two Hogwarts bullies? And with what purpose? So they could feel what the others felt in the presence of their “attention”? 

Veronica was suddenly pulled out of her thoughts by James. “What about now?” Yeah, what about now, Veronica? 

“Now I’m gonna count to three. One…” Her right hand slipped under the cloak on the way toward her back. “...two…” Fingers found the cold metal of the pistol and curled around it. The air felt heavy in her lungs and seeing the eyes of James and Sirius gleem in excitement, her knowing what it’s going to really happen, didn’t help very much.

“Three,” a deep voice shouted from the sky. All three of them lifted their eyes, only to see a dense shadow floating between branches. A sudden explosion broke the silence, disturbing the forest, and making Veronica’s eardrums hurt, followed by a short flash of orange light that seemed to hit Sirius in the chest, knocking him unconscious. Creatures from the forest started to cry and run in a chaotic pattern. 

“Now, Veronica!” The shadow screamed and Veronica remembered what she was supposed to do. Her fingers felt numb from squeezing the grip during the first gun shot and almost dropped the pistol when she released it from the elastic of her skirt. She pointed the barrel toward a scared and confused James and squeezed the trigger. BANG! 

The bullet hit the tree left to James. His eyes were as wide as a niffler’s who was caught stealing and turned to run, forgetting his clothes and his wand on the ground near the circle he was in moments before.

“He’s escaping… Shoot him!” The voice was behind her now, but she couldn’t care less what he was saying. She let a wild laugh leave her parted lips.

“Did you see him? His eyes?” Veronica asked, turning to face Severus. His face was livid with anger, eyes hunting for a glimpse of James. She stilled her laughter, the worse things now coming in the front of her mind. Then her head turned to Sirius’ limp body on the ground, a thin trail of blood smearing the right corner of his mouth, a bullet wound ornating the left side of his chest like a morbid, wild rose.

“I’ll catch him. Stay here!”, and he rose up into the air, disappearing in the night in the direction James ran.

“Sirius! You’re alright, aren’t you?” There was once more silence in the clearing, too much for her liking. “Sirius!” She pleaded again, this time shaking him gently in the shoulder with the tip of her foot, pistol still in her hand. But he didn’t open his eyes, his chest didn’t rise and fall with the hint of breathing. He remained stiff in the same position he fell, on his back, arms by his side, mouth half open in shock. Veronica didn’t need anymore hints to know he was in fact dead. Ich luge bullets… How could she be so stupid? 

From deep inside the forest the sound of another gunshot came to her. This is it. He’s done it. He lied to me, he used me. He killed them. Who could he kill now? It’s me. I know too much. It’s gonna be me. Severus is going to kill me. 

“Problem solved,” Severus panted from behind her, reaching for her shoulder. He gave it a short squeeze and went to search in her school bag. “Now let's leave that note somewhere and get out before Hagrid decides to investigate what those sounds were,” he said as he rose to his feet, the false suicide note in his hand. 

Severus went to Sirius’ body and left the note near him, then grabbed the pistol from Veronica’s hand and put it in Sirius’ right hand. “I left mine with James.” As if this was soothing for her or something. “Let’s go!” 

He grabbed her waist and flew them to the wooden bridge where no one would think to look for them and where they could celebrate their success. At least that’s what Severus daydreamed.They landed and as soon as her feet felt the hard wood under them, Veronica tore his hands off of her and took several steps back from him.

“I’ll find my way to the Ravenclaw Tower by myself,” she mumbled, eyes fixed to the ground in front of her. “It’s pretty late, you should head back to the dungeons too before Filch or someone else finds you out of bed.” Veronica began to turn around but she was blocked by Severus’ hand grabbing her arm tightly. 

“What are you talking about? I’ll take you there. I’m never letting you go, Veronica!” She flinched at his confession. She didn’t expect this of all things possible. 

“Let me go, Severus! This is over. Us, whatever it was, it was over the moment you shot Sirius.” Severus let his hand drop from her arm and stared at her in disbelief. All he sacrificed for her, for them. Was she really that stupid? Was she really a dunderhead like the rest of them? No, not that. He wouldn’t have become so involved in this relationship if she was like the rest. He just made an error of judgment. Severus thought Veronica was ready for this, for his type of living, but it turned out she wasn’t. And he was left trying to fix what he had broken.

“You say it’s over but you’re wearing my cloak.” He smirked at her. Veronica was then aware of the fact that she indeed wore one of Severus’ green collared cloaks. He gave it to her after that night he made love to her in the clearing and she took it from her trunk because she looked for the comfort his smell provided before performing that sick joke to James and Sirius. 

“Damn you and this cloak and me for not figuring it all out sooner!” Veronica shouted into the night, struggling to get the cloak off of her shoulders. In her confusion she didn’t notice Severus taking one step toward her. Veronica only felt his big, warm hands capturing her face. His thumbs were caressing her cheeks in up and down motions. She froze in place and stared at him in disbelief. Veronica expected him to scream at her, to jinx her, to throw her off the bridge, not coming at her with this tenderness that broke her heart.

“I love you, Veronica Sawyer! I may not be the pureblooded snob your parents want you to marry, but you're stuck with me, it seems.” Her cheeks were blushing. From his confession, from anger, from the temperature difference between the cold night and his hot breath on her skin. “All I did from the moment I met you, I did it for you. Heather hurt you, I took care of it. James and Sirius overstepped their boundaries again, I took care of that too.”

“You lied to me…”

“And I’d lie over and over again if I could keep you safe.” His eyes gleamed in the darkness.

“You call this safe?”

“Life isn’t fair and it bites you and chews that bit of you very slowly so it would hurt even longer. What we did is nothing more than assuring it won’t happen as often as before. We did a good thing. They won’t be able to bite, and spit, and mock, and torture just because they want to.”

“Severus, I don't see it like you do…” Veronica tried to escape his grasp once more but he kept her there, his fingertips finding their way to her hair.

“You’ll see. I promise you that, I’ll make you see,” and Severus brought her lips closer and crashed his against hers, searching for reciprocation. But all he found was reluctance. Veronica didn’t even touch him, let alone embrace him. He forced his mouth on her even more, eyebrows scrunched in concentration. He wanted to feel her passion too. It was there, Severus knew it, it was Veronica’s stubbornness that wouldn’t let it unfold. He broke the kiss and looked her in the eyes, searching for a clue of some kind. Severus found them glassy, and a little red from trying not to cry. 

“Until then I don’t want to be near you again,” she breathed and ran away from him. It didn’t matter if Severus heard her, or understood her. This was about keeping the promise she made to herself.

Fine, of course, she is still influenced by the others. I should have thought about this before. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I need to end the others too. That’s how I make her see. I’ll bring quiet and peace in her life. I’ll eliberate her. Just wait, Veronica. I’ll come for you. His thoughts raced and he took off flying, going to the Astronomy Tower to think and plan all in the privacy the tower provided.

******

A few weeks passed by avoiding each other in the hallways. It was easier than avoiding the James and Sirius scandal anyway. Severus was right about one thing: they would end up being the laughing stock of the school. Rumors circulated among students more violently than wildfyre did, and as much as Veronica wanted to shout in everyone's face what the truth really was, she couldn’t because of Severus. 

Severus? He was quieter than usual. He didn’t try to talk to her after that night, didn’t leave her notes. It was like she never met him in the first place. It worried her and comforted her at the same time. But nevermind Severus at this point. The NEWTs were approaching and Veronica focused on that when her mind forgot about him. 

This and hanging out with the Heathers. Heather Duke took over after Chandler’s “suicide”. It wasn’t the same. Duke was more bossy and absurd than Heather Chandler. The perks of being chief popular I guess, Veronica thought. Did she bully Heather McNamarra to an inch of killing herself? Yes, she did. It was Veronica who stopped the Hufflepuff from doing something she couldn’t undo. Did she start gathering signatures for some school club or other, mocking and stalking and terrifying whoever dared to deny signing that piece of parchment? Yes, she did.

Veronica couldn’t care less about anyone at that point. Her thoughts seemed to keep bouncing to Severus. Will he come after me? I know too much. I know he’ll come after me, but when? How?

The day she sensed for the first time in a while his gaze on her through the crowd of students in the halls she panicked. Severus following her around did nothing but aggravate her state. This is it, she thought. 

Everywhere she went, Severus was just around the corner. The panic turned to fear, who turned to dread, who turned into an idea. The only way he was going to let her be is if she was dead.

Climbing the stairs to the Ravenclaw Tower Veronica could still feel him behind her. Good, she thought, come and see with your own eyes.

That was the day Severus was going to let Veronica know about his big plan and drag her out, by force if necessary, to see and understand what he meant that night. He made his way after her to the Ravenclaw Tower, answered the riddle, and sneaked into the common room. It was deserted. All the better. It was lunchtime so most likely the other students were there, having their last lunch. He got to the staircase to the girls’ bedrooms and flew straight to Veronica’s room, avoiding the enchanted steps. 

“Veronica, I know you’re in there, open the door!” Severus shouted through the wood, one hand turned into a fist that kept banging the door’s frame. “Veronica, don’t make me come in there. Just open the door and indulge me with your presence!” Silence.

Severus started to feel his stomach sink in an all knowing feeling. She’s behind that door dead. Veronica please don’t be dead, please. With a nonverbal spell he unlocked the door and entered. His knees were beginning to get weak and they buckled when he took in the sight of Veronica’s body hanging from a rope made of sheets. Her body was still warm and soft. Only if I acted earlier, she might still be alive. He let a quiet sob escape, a single tear tainting his cheek, before composing himself.

“I’m so sorry to find you like this, Veronica! It’s my fault in some way. You weren’t ready, I should have known that. But it’s too late now unfortunately. You know, I had prepared a surprise for you today. A gift one might consider. I planned to run away with you tonight after we watched the castle burn together. That was my surprise. Beside the gun I brought some explosives. From my father also. He’s a miner. I didn’t know what I would use them for when I took them. You gave them use. I do this for you. I’ll see you on the other side.”

Severus’ cheeks were wet with tears and his voice was nearly failing him by the end. He turned abruptly and left, shutting the door behind him. 

Seconds passed like centuries, and Veronica’s muscles were sore from keeping herself up and making sure the sheets were loose enough for her to sneak shallow, hurried breaths. She let herself fall limp on the ground, her lungs burning for air and mind burning for explanations. So Severus was after her in a way, but not to kill her. He wanted to take her with him after…

“The signatures,” she exhaled, her mind running at a massive speed. Summoning her wand, Veronica ran from her dormitory in search of Severus. It might be too late to stop him, but at least she could look him in his eyes in their final moments in a silent cry of Was it worth it? as they burned to ashes.

******

The dungeons were the only place she had to search. By now all the other students and the staff were in the Great Hall for dinner which was what Severus looked for sure. To have all the victims gathered around in one place while he set up the explosives right under them. That’s what the signatures were for. A massive “suicide pact”. 

“Veronica! You’re dead… I saw you dead!” Severus said, his eyes bulged in confusion. Veronica was in front of him, wand pointed straight at his chest. She got there while he was turned to grab a box of cables.

“You were mistaken, Sev-” he let out a tear at the sound of her nickname for him, “-and it seems to me you were mistaken since the moment I saw you.”

Severus’ soft expression turned into a frown.

“I wish your mom would have been a little stronger and would have stayed for you. I wish your dad was good to you. I wish you weren’t mocked and beaten in school and I wish those grownups saw what we all see, what we all face, what you’ve been through.” 

“You know nothing of what I’ve been through!” Severus spat, still crying, though he didn’t know the source of the tears. He had his wand pointed at her too by then, his arm trembling slightly.

“You’ve told me enough of it. And they deserve to be punished, yes. They all wronged you, I wronged you too. But we don’t deserve to die. Life is a much harder prison than death.” Veronica was sobbing then too. All she’d been through these past months came back in that moment and turned into tears.

For a minute they kept pointing at each other with their wands, in silence broken only by their whimpers.

“You’re right, darling!” Severus said as he dropped the wand. With a slight move of his wrist the boxes of explosives and cables were gone. Veronica’s knees gave up then and let her fall to the ground, a relieved breath escaping her.

“Life is a much harder prison than death. I love you! Always!” She lifted her head only to see Severus’ black wand pointing at his head, a greenish glow at its point. “Avada Kedavra!”

“Severus,” she whispered in shock. Veronica didn’t have any power left but to stay and look at the lifeless body of her former lover. It might have started as a whim and a lie, but it ended how he always said.

A suicide.

[ichlugeichlugeichluge]

{it’s a terror, an abysmal scene, a kiss goodnight from the guillotine}

[your-friendly-neighbourh00d-fag]

i do think heathers the musical romanticised jd a lot more, which is. a really bad message i think. like. we are not supposed to like him. and people watched the movie and said 'christian slater is hot as hell but i feel bad for thirsting after him' because. you know. terrorist.

but then after freeze your brain and the whole trauma with his dad, everyone went 'nahh jd is just misunderstoood, soft boyyy :('

like this man has killed three people and planned to blow up a school. we should not be glorifying jd. he is a horrible person. and i think the musical framing him as some kind of tragic martyr, veronica being really sad that he dies, shit like "im going steady, mostly he's awesome. if a bit too rock and roll! hehee", oh he's just a little guy!! is a dangerous mentality. i really do think heathers the musical was a really shitty adaptation and isnt faithful to the movie at all (but it still is one of my favourites because the music is just so fucking good.)

also veronica saying "ich luge bullets! you lied to me >:(" as if lying is the issue and he didnt just s h o o t t w o p eo p l e.

anyway. uh.

[veronica-violet]

hey have you heard of “Ich Luge” bullets they’re a classic historical misconception where the “Ich Luge” bullet whee some the German used to penetrate skin and know themselves unconscious without killing them to fake suicide (Ich Luge meaning “I lie” or “I am lying”) however “Ich Luge” bullets don’t exist and are a lie made on someone on 4chan to troll people

oh... 😨

[jetsetpoison]

I wad reading the script for Heathers and it’s interesting reading it seeing what was kept and what wasn’t but also some of the stuff in here is kind of unhinged. Like, why was Veronica so eager to test out the “iche luge” bullets on her fucking cat??

[penny-nichols]

Date literally saying some JD Ich Luge bullet shit. but real??????

[foxgirltail]

For someone who is allegedly a genius*, Veronica sure doesn't know a whole lot about guns, or the ending of WW2, or the German language

Knowing more about guns: he's using a real gun (and Veronica knows this), those "tranq bullets" are going to be moving at real gun speeds, that's still going to do a lot of damage (and could potentially kill)

Knowing more about the end of WW2: would have an inkling that jds story about faked suicides when the Russians invaded Berlin doesn't add up

Knowing more about the German language: "Ich Luge" is German for "I'm lying"

If she knew even a little bit more about any of these areas, JDs "Ich Luge" spiel wouldn't have worked

*in the movie Veronica mentions that she could have skipped several grades but her parents thought it would stunt her socially so they held her back

[irrelevaantidiot]

[J.D.:] They made you cry But that will end tonight You are the only thing that's right About this broken world Go on and cry But when the morning comes We'll burn it down and then We'll build the world again... Our love is God

[VERONICA:] Are you okay?

[J.D.:] I was alone I was a frozen lake But then you melted me awake See, now I'm crying too You're not alone

[VERONICA:] You're not alone

[J.D.:] And when the morning comes

[VERONICA:] When the morning comes

[J.D.:] We'll burn away that tear, and raise our city here...

[VERONICA:] Raise our city here...

[J.D. & VERONICA:] Our love is God

[KURT:] Yeah-lo?

[VERONICA:] Hi, Kurt, it's Veronica... how did you know it was always a fantasy of mine to have two guys at once?

[KURT:] Wowuhh... lucky guess?

[VERONICA:] Well, if you want it to come true, meet me at the cemetery, at dawn

[KURT:] Free pussy!

[RAM:] And we don't even have to buy it a pizza!

[KURT:] Punch it in! Whaat?! Hahaha!

[J.D.:] We can start and finish wars

[J.D. & VERONICA:] We're what killed the dinosaurs We're the asteroid that's overdue The dinosaurs choked on the dust They died because God said they must The new world needed room For me and you

[J.D.:] I worship you I'd trade my life for yours They all will disappear We'll plant our garden here

[VERONICA:] Plant our garden here

[J.D.:] Our love is God

[VERONICA:] Our love is God

[J.D.:] Our love is God

[VERONICA:] Our love is God

[VERONICA:] Whoa. Is that real?

[J.D.:] Yeah, but we're filling it with "Ich Luge" bullets

[VERONICA:] Ich Luge...? What?

[J.D.:] My grandad scored them in World War II. They contain this powerful tranquilizer. The Nazis used them to fake their own suicides when the Russians invaded Berlin. We will use them to knock Kurt and Ram out just long enough to make it look like a suicide pact. Complete with a forged suicide note:

[KURT & RAM:] "Ram and I died because we had to hide our gay forbidden love from a misapproving world."

[J.D.:] And when the morning comes They'll both be laughing stocks

[J.D. & VERONICA:] So let's go hunt some jocks!

[KURT:] Hi... Veronica

[RAM:] So do we just whip it out or what?

[VERONICA:] uh… Take it slow, Ram. Strip for me

[RAM:] OK

[KURT:] Okaaay...What about you?

[VERONICA:] Oh, well, I was hoping you could rip my clothes off me, sport

[KURT:] Yeah, we can do that

[VERONICA:] Count of three

[VERONICA, KURT & RAM:] One... two...

[J.D.:] Three

[KURT:] Holy crap!

[J.D.:] Stay there! I’ll get him Kurt! Kurt!

[KURT:] You killed my best friend!

[VERONICA:] Ram?

[KURT:] Why are you chasing me?

[VERONICA:] Ram? You're just unconscious, right? Ram?

[RAM:] I was just kidding about the Bo Diddley thing!

[VERONICA:] Ram!

[J.D.:] Get off the fence! Get off the damn fence!

[KURT:] I don't understand!

[J.D.:] We can start and finish wars We're what killed the dinosaurs We're the asteroid that's overdue

[KURT:] Stop being a dick!

[J.D.:] The dinosaurs will turn to dust

[KURT:] What does that mean?!

[J.D.:] They'll die because we say they must

[VERONICA:] What the fuck have you done?!

[J.D.:] ...I worship you I'd trade my life for yours We'll make them disappear We'll plant our garden here Our love is God Our love is God Our love is God

[VERONICA:] Our love is God...

[J.D.:] Our love is God...

[VERONICA:] Our love is God...

[J.D.:] Our love is God...!

what