#i.e. a lot like ours unfortunately

[burntoutdaydreamer]

Weird Brain Hacks That Help Me Write

I'm a consistently inconsistent writer/aspiring novelist, member of the burnt-out-gifted-kid-to-adult-ADHD-diagnosis-pipeline, recently unemployed overachiever, and person who's sick of hearing the conventional neurotypical advice to dealing with writer's block (i.e. "write every single day," or "there's no such thing as writer's block- if you're struggling to write, just write" Like F*CK THAT. Thank you, Brenda, why don't you go and tell someone with diabetes to just start producing more insulin?)

I've yet to get to a point in my life where I'm able to consistently write at the pace I want to, but I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago. In the past five years I've written two drafts of a 130,000 word fantasy novel (currently working on the third) and I'm about 50,000 words in on the sequel. I've hit a bit of a snag recently, but now that I've suddenly got a lot of time on my hands, I'm hoping to revamp things and return to the basics that have gotten me to this point and I thought I might share.

1) My first draft stays between me and God

I find that I and a lot of other writers unfortunately have gotten it into our heads that first drafts are supposed to resemble the finished product and that revisions are only for fixing minor mistakes. Therefore, if our first draft sucks that must mean we suck as writers and having to rewrite things from scratch means that means our first draft is a failure.

I'm here to say that is one of the most detrimental mentalities you can have as a writer.

Ever try drawing a circle? You know how when you try to free-hand draw a perfect circle in one go, it never turns out right? Whereas if you scribble, say, ten circles on top of one another really quickly and then erase the messy lines until it looks like you drew a circle with a singular line, it ends up looking pretty decent?

Yeah. That's what the drafting process is.

Your first draft is supposed to suck. I don't care who you are, but you're never going to write a perfect first draft, especially if you're inexperienced. The purpose of the first draft is to lay down a semi-workable foundation. A really loose, messy sketch if you will. Get it all down on paper, even if it turns out to be the most cliche, cringe-inducing writing you've ever done. You can work out those kinks in the later drafts. The hardest part of the first draft is the most crucial part: getting started. Don't stress yourself out and make it even harder than it already is.

If that means making a promise to yourself that no one other than you will ever read your first draft unless it's over your cold, dead body, so be it.

2) Tell perfectionism to screw off by writing with a pen

I used to exclusively write with pencil until I realized I was spending more time erasing instead of writing.

Writing with a pen keeps me from editing while I right. Like, sometimes I'll have to cross something out or make notes in the margins, but unlike erasing and rewriting, this leaves the page looking like a disaster zone and that's a good thing.

If my writing looks like a complete mess on paper, that helps me move past the perfectionist paralysis and just focus on getting words down on the page. Somehow seeing a page full of chicken scratch makes me less worried about making my writing all perfect and pretty- and that helps me get on with my main goal of fleshing out ideas and getting words on a page.

3) It's okay to leave things blank when you can't think of the right word

My writing, especially my first draft, is often filled with ___ and .... and (insert name here) and red text that reads like stage directions because I can't think of what is supposed to go there or the correct way to write it.

I found it helps to treat my writing like I do multiple choice tests. Can't think of the right answer? Just skip it. Circle it, come back to it later, but don't let one tricky question stall you to the point where you run out of brain power or run out of time to answer the other questions.

If I'm on a role, I'm not gonna waste it by trying to remember that exact word that I need or figure out the right transition into the next scene or paragraph. I'm just going to leave it blank, mark to myself that I'll need to fix the problem later, and move on.

Trust me. This helps me sooooo much with staying on a roll.

4) Write Out of Order

This may not be for everyone, but it works wonders for me.

Sure, the story your writing may need to progress chronologically, but does that mean you need to write it chronologically? No. It just needs to be written.

I generally don't do this as much for editing, but for writing, so long as you're making progress, it doesn't matter if it's in the right order. Can't think of how to structure Chapter 2, but you have a pretty good idea of how your story's going to end? Write the ending then. You'll have to go back and write Chapter 2 eventually, but if you're feeling more motivated to write a completely different part of the book, who's to say you can't do that?

When I'm working on a project, I start off with a single document that I title "Scrap for (Project Title)" and then just write whatever comes to mind, in whatever order. Once I've gotten enough to work with, then I start outlining my plot and predicting how many chapters I'm going to need. Then, I create separate google docs for each individual chapter and work on them in whatever order I feel like, often leaving several partially complete as I jump from one to the other. Then, as each one gets finished, I copy and paste the chapter into the full manuscript document. This means that the official "draft" could have Chapters 1 and 9, but completely be missing Chapters 2-8, and that's fine. It's not like anyone will ever know once I finish it.

Sorry for the absurdly long post. Hopes this helps someone. Maybe I'll share more tricks in the future.

[birdofmay]

What's the difference between nonverbal and nonspeaking?

I have posts about nonverbal autism, but none about the single topic "What's the difference between nonverbal and nonspeaking?" So this will be a handy linked blog entry for my pinned post.

All summed up: There is no real difference, it's a matter of preference. Please ask us what term we prefer and respect that choice. It's a sensitive topic because there has been a lot of discourse around it ☝🏼

Alright. First things first: Nonverbal is a medical term not exclusively for autism. In the medical field, "nonverbal" simply means that your speech is extremely impaired or fully absent. Yes, there are many meanings of "nonverbal", but this is what doctors mean. Did you know that there's nonverbal cerebral palsy too? (External link)

But let's focus on autism. Autistics who can't speak are said to have "nonverbal autism".

Discourse #1 - the mind is intact

There are many reasons why some autistics never learn to speak. One reason can be non-acquired apraxia (i.e. not due to a stroke, TBI, Alzheimer's, etc.), which leads to limited motor control. If it affects the mouth and throat only, individuals "know what they want to say", but their mouth doesn't cooperate. They either struggle to get words out clearly/don't get anything out at all, or their mouth seems to have "a mind of its own" - they say things they didn't want to say. If apraxia affects the whole body, this goes for actions too. Either they can't make their body do what they want to do (e.g. they want to point at a ball but their arm won't move) or their body does things they didn't want to do (e.g. they want to point at the ball but instead their finger points at the floor).

As you can imagine, this situation is really unfortunate when a therapist wants to test your intelligence. You can't get words out, so they ask you to show them what a triangle is. You know what a triangle is, but your body does its own thing. You point at the circle instead of the triangle, and your therapist concludes that you don't understand simple instructions. They assume intellectual disability. You're misunderstood all your life and everyone thinks that you can't learn to communicate, that you don't understand language. You're frustrated.

Luckily, at some point some people realised that these autistics CAN learn to communicate and in fact are very capable and understand language just fine. That was when apraxic autistics talked about this misunderstanding online. They talked about how they were mistreated and underestimated, that people should always "presume competence". They coined a new term for themselves: "Nonspeaking". In their opinion, "nonverbal" doesn't describe their experience and makes it sound like they can't learn to read or write. "My mind is intact, I can make intelligent choices about my life!" (External link)

Sounds good? Well, it may be surprising to know that most of us on Tumblr who can't speak either don't mind being called "nonverbal" or actively prefer nonverbal over nonspeaking. How can that be?

Discourse #2 - the mind isn't always intact

There are other reasons why some autistics never learn how to speak. Most of the time, in contrast to "nonspeaking self-advocates", we do struggle to understand language and our mind is not "intact". We have language disorders, brain damage, slow processing speed, often ID. The latter is why most of us aren't on any social media. My ability to communicate isn't average for us, it's an exception!

When the "say nonspeaking" wave reached Tumblr, I think at first most of us who are on social media liked that idea. We spread awareness about how terminology is a preference thing, that "nonspeaking" is about overcoming years of mistreatment and about empowerment. That some of us think that "nonverbal" sounds like we can't communicate and can't understand language, when that's not true. But, as I said, most autistics who never learned how to speak aren't online and therefore can't participate in this discourse. "Nonspeaking self-advocates", on the other hand, are on social media and love to participate. But they are a minority among those who can't speak.

The result? At some point it got a little ableist. The mindset "We are intelligent and understand language" turned into "You guys with ID and language disorders make us look bad" and THAT turned into speaking over and ignoring us. Or harassing even. "You have to call yourself nonspeaking, otherwise you're a bad person!" and so on. We responded "No, you say you're intelligent and your mind is intact. Good for you, but ours isn't. You erase our existence and we don't relate to your experience. We don't identify with your word." It was worse on other platforms, at some point the term "nonspeaking supremacist" was coined similar to "aspie supremacist".

Discourse #3 - free interpretation of a term that's NOT loosely defined??!

And last year, a really strange thing happened: Speaking autistics somehow mixed up the "To me personally, nonverbal sounds like I can't learn to communicate and don't understand language at all" and incorrectly informed others "So there's a difference between nonverbal and nonspeaking. Nonspeaking means that you can't speak and nonverbal means that you also can't communicate in other ways".

They took it as a fact and informed us that we "by definition" actually are nonspeaking because we can communicate via text. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I repeat: Most of us who can't speak aren't on social media. So this misinformation again spread everywhere because we weren't enough, we weren't loud enough. We can't ever be loud enough because, exactly: Most of us aren't on social media.

Now we weren't harassed by fellow nonverbal/nonspeaking autistics, nope, NOW suddenly speaking autistics from ALL over the world tried to inform us that we shouldn't call ourselves nonverbal - NOT aware that by now "nonspeaking" got a slightly ableist connotation in the process 😵

Here's an example of how wild things were last year...

And that's not enough: Suddenly everyone assumed that autistics who can't speak due to apraxia MUST call themselves nonspeaking because that's where the movement started. No, even apraxic autistics sometimes prefer "nonverbal", and they have every right to do so!

As things are now...

So, that's why most of us on Tumblr prefer nonverbal. Oh, and by the way:

Whenever someone isn't aware of this and makes a "To me, nonverbal means..." post, all I think is "Oh, not again, please not again", and I see this war flashback meme in my mind's eye 😅

Every "To me, nonverbal means..." post that ends with "And that's why I prefer nonspeaking" has the potential to get loud and start this harassment and misinformation all over.

Every new post that tries to define nonverbal and nonspeaking could start this all over again.

Because nonspeaking supremacists are very very loud. And speaking autistics are usually very very uninformed about us. And most nonverbal/nonspeaking autistics aren't on any social media.

[howtofightwrite]

thank you for the clear, honest response! but i will admit to being caught off-guard since i wasn't suggesting the scenario from the protagonist's point of view at all, but rather from an antagonist or villain sort of perspective. i went in with the assumption that it was the less morally upright person making violent actions (i.e kidnapping) and the hero protagonist experiencing the fallout.

your words felt very much like what i was trying to say in acknowledging that it's dangerous, but more concise; perhaps i simply was overzealous in crafting the scenario? i am sorry for giving the wrong impression.

it might be helpful to state that it was actually my only ask to this blog aside from this one; it has no connection to other inquiries regarding heroes taking violent action. i might have had the impression that a previous anon was writing a detective story of sorts, where the protagonist was dealing with opponents who wouldn't hesitate to use violence, and thougnt to state what i felt could be done to keep the protagonist's head relatively intact despite head injuries. my apologies for the broad assumption!

Yeah, without wanting to light you up this time, the problem with the scenario is a little deeper than I might have addressed in the previous comment. And, in fairness to you, that was a long ask, and Tumblr doesn't accommodate my preferences for how to fully respond to comments like that. (Which is to say, break it into pieces, and deal with each part independently.)

The problem you're running into is an idea that heroes and villains view violence from fundamentally different perspectives. In isolation, this isn't automatically a bad thing, but it does leave you vulnerable to engaging in some classic Saturday morning cartoon grade philosophy. “The bad guys only use violence because they're bad, but the good guys only use violence because they're good.”

Again, if this fully terminated in a discussion about how proportional use of force can be an appropriate, or sometimes even a necessary, response, that would be one thing. Unfortunately, a lot of writers stop at that point, and internalize a double standard for violence based on an artificial delineation that doesn't even exist in their characters' world.

There are a lot of reasons that the author can pull hard for their protagonists, and those will spill over onto the audience. The protagonist is (probably) the character the author identifies most with. As the primary PoV character, the protagonist is in the best position to advocate for their own thought process. Due to sheer exposure, and whatever adversity the protagonist has experienced up to that point, they audience is also likely to be more sympathetic to the protagonist's position.

This does mean, when your protagonist starts going over the line, your audience is going to be less critical of their actions. At least, up to a point. You can take this all too far, and lose your audience, which is part of where our cautions about violence come from. But that's an adjacent issue.

However, within your world, it's important to assess when, and how, characters use force based on who they are. And, in fairness to you, that was something you were partially conscious of. The critical hiccup was that the roles of protagonist and antagonist are agnostic to who these characters are in your world. People will use whatever tools are appropriate for completing their objectives, regardless whether you think they're the hero or villain. That includes, potentially, use of force.

The distinction I made poorly is that your kidnappers don't use force because they're the villains, but they use it because it's a critical tool for doing their job. I'm struggling to come up with a scenario where you'd have a human trafficker as the protagonist of your story, but it's not going to fundamentally alter their approach to violence, nor their methods. (Not saying the scenario is impossible, but it would run the risk of being extremely distasteful.)

Perhaps, a more palatable example would be an assassin. They're still popular as edgelord protagonists, and can just as easily be antagonists. However, they also do a fantastic job of illustrating that the hero or villain status doesn't (especially) alter the evaluation of whether they're a protagonist or antagonist. Leaving a large body count, in either case, simply means that that something got out of control, and in either case, this is someone who's been killing people.

Something that might seem like a non-sequitor at first, coming out of the Patreon Discord server last week, was a reminder that, when you're using the D&D alignment chart, you can absolutely end up with evil protagonists. Not even in the sense of villainous protagonists, like with The Godfather films and novel, but characters who are genuinely the hero of the story, and evil. My preferred example of this remains Jack Bauer (Keifer Sutherland) from 24.

The inverse is much rarer. Some Javier-style investigators probably fit the bill of good-aligned villains. Though, these are usually paired against criminal protagonists, or at least protagonists who've been framed or falsely accused.

The reason this tangent is relevant is twofold. First, it's important to remember that your protagonist can be evil. They can, absolutely, be a bad person. As mentioned earlier, because they're your PoV, they'll get some deference from the audience simply from being their primary point of access to the world. Second, concepts like good and evil may be far more determinative over their use of violence, but the idea of protagonists and antagonists exist independently of that. Who your characters are will have a much bigger impact on the degree of violence they'll be comfortable with inflicting.

Beyond this, there is a real problem for a lot of writers, who think about violence with that Saturday morning cartoon logic. It's absolutely fine to have extremely violent protagonists, however, the question you need to start with is whether that violence fits with who they are, outside of their role in the story you're telling.

Related to this, and it drives a lot of the, “I want a protagonist who doesn't kill people,” is the idea that your protagonist needs to be a good person. They don't. And having a protagonist who inflicts grievous harm on people, but stops short of actually killing them doesn't absolve them of the harm they're causing. You can argue that someone who tortures someone, “for good reasons,” and finishes with a mock execution is less evil than someone who does the same but simply executes their victim when they're done, but both of these are pretty evil acts across the board, and you'd be pretty hard pressed to argue that the former is fully innocent, when lasting harm has been inflicted upon their victim.

So, ultimately, as a general rule, knockouts don't work. It's a kind of moral hand-wringing that authors engage in because they're afraid of their characters being perceived as bad people, or because they want a consequence free way to close out a fight scene. Just like in the real world, knockouts don't really do what the author wants, because they're, at best, a deferment on future violence. The impulse to preserve your character's moral high ground is certainly understandable, but in most cases, this method will be detrimental to your work as a whole. It reduces the tension from future violence, as your reader now knows that there's an easy out with no lasting consequences. There are ways to have consequence free fights (such as characters managing to create an opening and escape), but the hard knockouts don't work as well as you might hope. I'd hesitate to call knockouts, “bad writing,” but they certainly open the door to some of our worst impulses as writers. Impulses we really need to resist, as they don't lead to better stories, just more contrived scenarios.

-Starke

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[yuri-is-online]

Love and Deepspace Timeline: MC, Philos, and the Aether Core

Look I finished Xav's myths card. I don't regret waiting until I was done with it to post his timeline because the last two nodes have more to do with MC than him, but I am in a state so we are making this to cope.

This is all speculation and should not be taken as fact, I have done two other posts, one on Zayne and one on Xavier and I will not be doing one on Rafayel please see this reddit post by u/joonmin for relevant information about his myths card blah blah blah.

This post is less of a timeline and more here to answer questions you very likely have if you: A) decided to browse reddit and saw people saying Xavier feels like the "cannon ro" [this is a gacha game there isn't one] but have never read any of his memories, moments, or dates B) read chapter 8 and went "none of this makes sense I feel like I am missing something" or C) just generally are confused about L&D's world building and what's up with MC. I have answers for you. Wibbly wobbly soupy answers. This post also has a TL;DR in case you don't want to see me break out the string board and just want the relevant bits of information about MC you won't get from the msq.

SPOILERS FOR ALL IN GAME CONTENT UP TO CHAPTER 8, VARIOUS MOMENTS, AND ANECDOTES RELATED TO ALL 3 ROS, PROCEED WITH CARE.

Current Timeline MC (i.e. The one we are playing as)

The game starts with MC's graduation from the Academy and first day as a fully licensed hunter. We learn a few things in this first chapter, namely that MC is combat trained, has a rare heart condition known as Protocore Syndrome that has no known cure, and that her decision to become a hunter has something to do with what she experienced fourteen years ago during the Catastrophe when the Deepspace Tunnel opened and Wanderers started invading earth.

Specifically MC describes something burrowing itself into her heart. She feels helpless, like prey, and has a strong desire to never feel anything like this again. Which is unfortunate because I have a feeling a lot of someones are going to be on her trail sooner rather than later.

In Chapter 5 it is revealed that MC has an Aether core fused to her heart. This sort of human experimentation is highly illegal and it is unknown who did this to MC other than our beloved Grandmother was directly involved. Grandma appears to have taken MC away from wherever this happened after the tests started to threaten MC's life.

This is known to Dr. Zayne and Dr. Noah, though neither seem to know more than what Grandma told them. Neither of them seem to fully understand what an Aether core is or what it is doing to MC's heart. Zayne in particular seems to find this extremely concerning.

Uncovering the mystery of the Aether core seems to be what will be driving the first arc so we will not be discussing it at length here. I do want to note that Xavier absolutely knows what it is, while Zayne does not but does seem to know more of the technical aspects of how it is effecting MC, and Rafayel is at least aware of it being valuable and maybe why exactly the people in the N109 Zone want it.

At some point in the past MC met and made a promise to Rafayel. It is my personal theory that this likely took place on Hat Island during the field trip MC talks about due to some of the comments made in Chapter 7.

MC and Caleb were friends with Zayne in childhood. MC's exact age is a bit fuzzy, but the game does seem to suggest she is younger than Zayne. She does not know why Zayne disappeared from her life or what led him to become a doctor.

Comments in Chapter 4 suggests that Caleb encouraged MC to become a hunter. He seems to be very supportive of her, but Grandma seems more interested in trusting MC's protection to Zayne.

On the surface MC seems pretty normal. Her memories from before the Catastrophe seem to be gone, if she had a mother and father or other blood relatives, she doesn't remember them anymore.

Philos MC (i.e. What is Going on in the Myths)

It is revealed in Xavier's When Shooting Stars Fall anecdote that Philos is Earth in the distant future. This has confused numerous people in the notes of my Xav's timeline so I am going to be insufferable and attempt to assist with a graph:

The MC you play belongs to the game timeline, the MCs (plural each myths card features a different one) in the Myths cards come from the Philos timeline. I have tagged the Game timeline as a "potential tangent" as the events that take place in game are entirely reliant on the existence of the Deepspace Tunnel, which is created in the Philos timeline.

At some point in the Original/Philos Timeline, Earth's core ceases to function. Humanity replaces it with a new, artificial core that causes noticeable weather changes and fuses all of the tectonic plates together, and begins a new calendar counting forward from the years since Earth ceased to be and Philos was born. As a result, we don't know what exact year Earth's core giving out happened in the Original Timeline. The artificial core allows almost all humans to "live eternal." They seem to be like Tolkien's elves in the sense they can live for an eternity but they start to get tired after a while and give up on life. This is why there is a royal family that needs a line of succession. Xavier is the Crown Prince of Philos, he meets MC in school and learns she has a rare disease called Protocore Syndrome which will not allow her to live forever. He attempts to cure this by finding a specific protocore she mentions, but fails to reach her in time and is forced to watch her die. This all happens in the year 214.

At some point MC is reborn and assigned to the same teacher as Xavier. She is to train to become his knight and serve as the leader of the Lightseekers, an order tasked with killing Wanderers. At some point during or before Xavier's coming of age ceremony, he learns the truth about Philos: the planet is dying due to the artificial core never having been meant to sustain the planet this long. The Royal Family's solution for this is to occasionally feed humans to the heart of Philos in Starfall Forest. When they do this, it creates Wanderers. As if that wasn't bad enough, Xavier learns that his father and the royal family have found what they think could be a permanent solution: there is a girl who has achieved true immortality. She is the only person on Philos who can die and be reborn constantly, and while they don't seem to know why she does this, the royal family believes this girl is the life force of the planet itself.

This girl is MC and Xavier does not want this to happen. He has a plan that he does not explain to MC, but it involves traveling back in time. He says they have specific places in time picked out, but we know from Xavier's Passing By anecdote that something went wrong with his team's attempt at time travel and now there is no guarantee that the MC he left on Philos as its Queen is still there.

So now we have two timelines: Original/Philos Timeline and Game/Tangent Timeline. But all of that is just taking Xavier's anecdotes and Myths card into account... so what happens if we try to plug in the other two ROs?

Rafayel

In u/Joonmin's reddit post they mention two very important bits of information: 1) It has been 30,000 years since the sea dried up and 2) MC is a member of the royal family of Philos, not by birth but because "she has a heart that��s been blessed by the gods" and has "awoken from the depths." If all three myths cards take place in the same Philos timeline as the one Xavier leaves, we can reasonably place Raf's myths card after Xavier's backtrack mission.

So the Philos timeline would look like this. I have a note for Zayne's card there as well, but if I had to get picky with it I'm slightly tempted to place his Myths card between MC's first death and her being reborn to meet Xavier again. The other explanation would be that there are three separate Philos timelines created because the MC was successfully scarified to the Heart of Philos. In Xavier's Myths 6 MC briefly takes a dip in the space time anomaly at the center of Starfall Forest which could also explain MC scattering across different timelines, but the in game spacepedia makes a point to say that there is a chance that life still exists on Philos:

So it could simply be that MC over there has been stuck in the exact cycle of death and rebirth that Xavier was trying to prevent. It could also mean that when they add that mystery fourth love interest there is an explanation for a fourth possible myths card. Anyway all this information leaves us with a set of timelines that currently look like this:

This still leaves a lot of unanswered questions. For example, if the Philos timeline is where this all starts, what version of it is? What caused Earth's core to give out in that original timeline? Is Rafayel and Lumeria's existence the consequences of clashing timelines or are mermaids cannon to this universe? What effect on the space time continuum did Xavier's actions have? And how much of this is actually going to be answered in game?

TL;DR

Philos is Earth in the future with an artificial core that started running out of power, and never should have been made in the first place.

The royal family fed some of their long lived humans to the anomaly in Starfall forest to keep the planet running, but then they found out about a girl who could constantly be reborn each time she died and had an idea.

An idea Xavier wasn't very keen on but who cares. They thought that "when the time was right" they would sacrifice her to the rift and leave her there to die and be reborn forever. They also did not think to ask her.

Oh yeah when they fed people to the rift they turned into Wanderers. So wanderers = people as mentioned in Zayne's Still in the Dark anecdote.

Whatever makes MC reincarnate might have something to do with Lumeria, or at the very least the Lumerians in Rafayel's myths card seem to think it does.

In game MC, current timeline MC knows none of this, and has no memories from her lives, past or future. This is consistent across all her incarnations.

Final Thoughts

The only reason why I think this way about timelines is because I watched Donnie Darko in a college theater class. People like to argue about that movie and how it is supposed to be interpreted, but generally speaking they all seem to think that Tangent Timelines and the Tangent Universes they spawn get deleted very quickly, so maybe that's why the game starts by talking about "being able to leave this loop" and why Xavier seems to think something bad will be happening to Linkon City soon.

Chapter 8 ends with Xavier attempting to send a message back through the Deepspace Tunnel to make contact with someone. Interestingly enough he calls this "Traceback II." This sounded familiar to me and sure enough the game starts by mentioning that exact same thing, it is going past a black hole and is what says that line "we are stuck in this loop."

I thought in previous posts that the Aether Core is what could cure MC... but now I think the Aether Core is likely what Philos's artificial core is called... so who created it in the first place? ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ)

The Deepspace Tunnel is a spacetime anomaly likely caused by Philos's existence since it was "never meant to exist." So why was it created? And by who?

[quixoticanarchy]

Maglor saying "the oath says not that we may not bide our time" is very interesting (not, unfortunately, conducive to conciseness). bear with me.

a) if they can bide their time, that kind of undermines the idea that they are driven by the oath into atrocity; rather, they can choose the moment to obey it (to some degree). the truth of this statement is unclear because it does seem that they spend a lot of the First Age biding their time, but also when they try to bide their time before the third kinslaying, it was said that they were tormented by the oath. was that false? what is it that pushes them into action, if not the pressure of the oath? or, is it the knowledge and shame of the unfulfilled oath combined with events that enable them to strike out for the jewels, but not actually any metaphysical pressure forcing their hand?

b) Maglor is also saying here, let's go back to Valinor and just see what happens. maybe eventually we can get the silmarils peacefully and be forgiven (I have to agree with Maedhros that that seems.. unlikely). probably correctly, Maedhros envisions the difficulty of trying to get the silmarils in Valinor while unforgiven, and what it would entail and cost to do violence there again. Maglor imagines peace; Maedhros definitely anticipates violence

c) I think Maglor also just wants to go home. he wants to stop. he would probably like to fulfill the oath (or be freed from it), but also would be fine with kicking the can down the road, presuming the oath will allow that. but once Maedhros talks him out of the likelihood of success if they wait til Valinor, he's also willing to break it entirely. his contention that Manwë and Varda making the oath impossible to fulfill would also make it void could be interpreted as a hope that both these things would happen

Maedhros makes the points that they can't be released bc they swore also to Ilúvatar, and therefore they're still facing the Everlasting Darkness if they fail. to which Maglor makes the fair point that if they can't be released, then either they hold themselves bound by the oath and keep trying for the silmarils (and if they fail, face Everlasting Darkness), or try to give up the oath, find they are still bound by it and, having auto-failed their task by breaking the oath, face Everlasting Darkness anyway. therefore yes, they would do less evil in the breaking, but the result is the same to them - as long as in neither case do they actually anticipate fulfilling the oath. Maglor therefore is maybe ready to give it up as impossible; possibly, Maedhros is arguing that it remains achievable for now, but "its fulfilment be byeond all hope" only once back in Aman, lending urgency to the final attempt to get the silmarils now.

a follow-up question: do they at this point believe that success is still possible? what is success? if they have to get all 3 silmarils to satisfy the oath, they're up against Earendil, but they never mention that. what does fulfilling the oath mean - that they evade the consequence of failure? is the force that 'drives' them to stick to the oath not so much (or not only) a metaphysical pain or burden that torments them, but the fear of the failure condition itself - the Everlasting Darkness?

this would explain Maglor's interest in wanting to stop pursuing the oath, but also wanting it somehow neutralized - whether by biding time or having the oath declared void. and Maedhros is arguing that a) they can't be released, b) they can only keep the darkness at bay by continuing to actually try for fulfilment, and c) they should take this one last shot while arguably they still have a chance (or at least it's easier than it would be in Aman). it may not matter whether success is ultimately possible (i.e. if Earendil does come into the picture, or the crosshairs), but it matters that they are trying.

but then, what to make of them reportedly realizing Eönwë was right and they've lost their right to the silmarils? what does that matter to the oath? the oath declares they'll do anything to get them back, and they do. as much as it sucks to get burned, getting them back (ignore the 3rd silmaril) should mean their deed has not failed so they should not face Everlasting Darkness.

I see a couple of possibilities here: a) they ceased being bound by the oath when they lost their right to the silmarils, which would make it vain and mean none of the atrocities had to happen. but is that how the oath operates? did they stop being bound by it long ago and just not realize? or, alternately, b) does their losing their right to the silmarils mean they auto-fail the oath bc they’ll never truly “reclaim” them? and therefore, rather than their never being at risk of Everlasting Darkness, are they consigned to it now no matter what? (but Maglor at least seems to evade that, unless it’s very metaphorical…) or, c) were they indeed bound by the oath all along and indeed fulfilled it, it just doesn't really matter bc the victory is hollow, and they themselves can’t hold the very things they killed others for holding? could be harsh enough on its own, whether or not the oath responds to the status of their “right” to the silmarils.

there is also the matter of we don’t know what the Everlasting Darkness is. lol. but I’m not touching that now beyond I think it’s a thing the SoF are genuinely afraid of

[gallopinggallifreyans]

I would love to hear your opinions about ancient currency! And any recommendations you have for learning more about the Roman economy!

oh boy i am SO glad you asked! I'm going to put everything under a readmore because it's a Lot.

I have a few opinions on Greek coinage, specifically that of the introduction of coinage to Athens, though I'm working on a proposal for studying Spartan coinage rn.

Current publications re:Athens haven't really determined For Sure who introduced coins; it's a toss-up between Solon and Pisistratus but I'm in the Pisistratus camp for reasons that I can absolutely summarize in a separate post, as I've written and published a paper in my undergrad journal that (hopefully) holds weight in the current hodgepodge of thoughts. If you'd like that, I can write it up and link it here!

Re:Spartan coinage, I think the Spartan homoioi were real idiots. Most city-states were using silver (and very occasionally gold) for their coins, but Spartan homoioi were using iron spits. The spits (obeloi) were six to a drachma, which was the exchange rate for a long time. And by long time I mean there was no such thing as a floating conversion, coins were just the most portable form of precious metal, which was intrinsically valued. Outside Sparta (even the perioikoi) most city-states would have used ingots pre-coinage and that evolved into stamped metal, i.e. coinage. The Spartans considered themselves to be very religious and followed the Great Rhetra (unsure if Lykourgos existed), which maintained that silver and gold were holy and could not be used, so they used iron.

Unfortunately, the rest of Greece didn't follow that, and used silver in their coins, especially influenced by Attic-Ionian city-states who were in regular trade with Persia and further east, i.e. regions that valued precious metal outside their religious significance. Essentially, Spartans kinda screwed themselves over re:trade outside Sparta; they couldn't even trade in contemporary currency with the rest of Lakonia and forced their subject city-states into the same position. This is supported mostly by the explosion of Messenian and other Lakonian coinages after Sparta collapsed, though I want to see if I can find more text evidence, since I (an archaeologist) tend to rely too heavily on material. It's a whole thing, personally I believe this was a significant factor in Sparta's collapse, though other things factored in as well. Sparta was incredibly insular both in its trade/economy and religious practice and that combination led to its downfall.

For the Roman sources, I recommend starting with the Cambridge Companion to the Roman Economy by Walter Scheidel, and The Ancient Economy by Walter Scheidel and Sitta von Reden. Von Reden has excellent articles related to the ancient economy in general, and most are available on JSTOR, so I recommend giving her stuff a look.

I also highly recommend reading Moses Finley's work The Ancient Economy (no relation to Scheidel and Von Reden's work), as it lays the foundation for much of our current school of thought. Peter Temin's subsequent work, The Roman Market Economy argues against Finley and kicks off a whole debate about how to define an economy without using capitalism as the basis, because capitalism as we know and define it did not exist then, and it is incorrect to assume that. We can call it protocapitalist, but not capitalist.

Slavery in Rome is a nuanced subject that is integral to learning about its economy — I suggest keeping an open mind and treading carefully with respect to post-1492 slave trades. Noel Lenski's chapter "Framing the Question" (linked; you need access through your institution) discusses the slave trade against a Finleyan model, while Scheidel (him again) talks about how to determine the wages of slaves (JSTOR link). W. V. Harris talks about the demography and geography of slaves here (JSTOR link). These three are good starts for learning about Roman slavery, but if you want more sources, I can pull some up for you.

I don't want to overload you with sources, so in general I'll recommend anything by Scheidel, Von Reden, Nicholas Purcell and Peregrine Horden (connectivity), Seth Bernard (coins and emissions), Astrid Van Oyen (tech innovation), and Willem Jongman (economic structure). As with the slavery sources, if you want direct links I can definitely find them for you! I'm always happy to share info :)

[ryuichirou]

This is an out there question but out of the cast of twst which characters can you picture becoming serial murderers? If so, what type (i.e lust killer, power/control etc…) and how would the murders be (planned, clinical, ritualistic, etc.)

Sorry for the screwed up question and feel free to not answer if it makes you uncomfortable. I just have an interest in criminology so I’m weird that way :/

Anon! It took so long for me to finally write this post, but I’ve been excited about your prompt ever since you sent it lol Screwed up questions are always a joy to come up with answers to with this cast, so I hope I managed to write something that was worth waiting for.

I’ll also note that we do have a hc list about twst boys murdering for the first time, and while I won’t reference this post here too much, some of the ideas for this post feel like a continuation/result of the unfortunate circumstances some of the characters found themselves in that first post. I also feel like some of these boys don’t fit the role very much, but I’ll mention it when I write about them!

That being said, let’s profile these assholes~

Riddle – pretty easy one: he’d be someone who sentences people to death for disobeying the law, so technically his Unique Magic thing but more aggressive. There are actually a bunch of options for him; it could literally be him abusing Off With Your Head, or he could end up being a judge or a prosecutor who has a reputation of sentencing people to death a lot… Of course, he would feel like it’s justified, and sometimes it would really be justified by an actual law, but I would still technically call him a serial murderer for that lol But if he isn’t in any way related to law or authority and ends up being a doctor, he could still abuse his power there and kill off those who he considers to be criminals. To be completely honest though, I don’t think Riddle is super likely to end up like this, but if he does it once, he might struggle with guilt and double down on this kind of just punishment super hard.

Ace – I don’t think he would do end up being a serial killer unless his circumstances force him to. I see him as someone who could get in huge trouble when he gets older, like shady stuff with creditors for example, but he still wouldn’t want to take someone else’s life. Still, if it’s either you or the guy who came to steal your kidneys to sell them, you’ll end up cutting the guy’s throat with a knife given a chance, and then escape. What would make Ace a serial murderer is that he would have to kill off a bunch of guys to be completely “free”. So I guess he’s fighting for his own freedom by actually reaping the fruits of his own mistakes.

Deuce – he would either kill someone on accident and then either run forever or turn himself to the police (hence not becoming a serial killer) or actually in a weird twist of fate become someone who is a vigilante of sorts. Deuce might actually end up thinking that this is his only way to pay for his missteps as a young delinquent. Of course, Deuce doesn’t really want to kill, and at first he would spare everyone, believing that they would learn their lesson, but after that time he’ll think that he has no other choice. He could do it with delinquent gangs, or, if he works for the police, he’d do it with actual criminals. But he would still have some principles – he would only kill those who ended someone else’s life, or at least did something very horrible.

Trey – there he is, our first “killing to protect someone” guy! The worst version of Trey would probably go very far trying to protect Riddle from those who try to overthrow him, or even give him any kind of critique. He knows that this is wrong, but this is the choice he made: the first murder would be very justified in his head, very forced and necessary, but after that point he’d just go further and further down the rabbit hole. He would be very careful about it though, and no one would suspect him for a very long time. He wouldn’t poison anyone with food, that’s too obvious, but he would definitely use his scientific knowledge.

Cater – there was one guy who moved a lot and changed a lot of schools and was unhappy with his family life that ended up trying to blow up a school to feel anything because we live in a society (yes JD from Heathers), so my go-to is to think that there is this worm in Cater’s head that sometimes tells him to do something horrible, but this doesn’t necessarily mean that he would blow up NRC lol You know, maybe it’s more of an American Psycho situation. No one would ever think that I am the one doing it even though I am not even hiding it very well, so I continue doing it. Or something? To be honest, I’m 50/50 on that one.

Leona – he doesn’t have any big ideas and he definitely isn’t forced to do it, and knowing Leona’s luck, he probably wouldn’t be able to pull off an American Psycho situation either. Even if Falena covers up his crimes, it wouldn’t really help Leona gain anything, so it doesn’t make much sense… I think if Leona starts killing people off left and right, he would mostly do it out of boredom and frustration.

Ruggie – he would work as someone who cares for elderly, but only the rich ones, and then would poison them little by little over a long period of time by adjusting their dosage of medicine. He would pick grandpas and grandmas who have turbulent relationship with their kids, and then somehow frame the kids for the death, getting a bunch of money from the deal. This is just one thing Ruggie could do for money though; of course he prefers to work within the system and work hard And smart, but he is also perfectly aware that the system is rotten and someone is going to take advantage of that. And that someone might as well be him~

Jack – another vigilante, but if Deuce hunts down criminals, Jack would hunt down those who work within the system and are the reason it’s rotting. So corrupt policemen, rich assholes, even very powerful people: those who are making things worse for others in Jack’s own mind (he has his own idea of justice…) are his targets. He also really wants to be calm, clean and collected about it, but I also see him as someone whose emotions would take over, and he wouldn’t stop even after the guy is already dead.

Azul – either power or pettiness, or ideally both �� Azul loves to multitask, after all. Killing some guy that disrespected him and getting his business and wealth as a bonus? Perfect scenario for Azul. He wouldn’t mind trample on others for his own gain, and his tactics are pretty predatory, so at some point it might start involving ending someone else’s life, but one thing to note is that Azul rarely does anything by himself. He is very creative with the ways he wants his enemies to go (the tweels love his sick ideas), but he would rather order others to kill than dirty his own hands.

Jade and Floyd – a rare occasion when I write about them together, but they are almost the same when it comes to this topic: they mostly do it for funsies. That includes coming up with new ways to end someone else’s life (this is why Azul’s ideas are the best), playing with new toys (Jade has a big collection of weaponry, Floyd loves using whatever lies around), or even just killing time. But these days they try to pace themselves because otherwise this whole thing becomes terribly dull and boring, so their go-to is to either wait for a very good occasion, or for Azul to give them a new mission.

Kalim – wait a minute, this guy isn’t a serial killer, he’s a cereal killer! 🥰 Sorry, I had to make this joke once. In all seriousness, I don’t see Kalim becoming a serial killer, buuut if we’re bending canon to force a sunshine boy to do horrible stuff, he would either do it in a situation similar to Ace’s (got kidnapped, was forced to shoot everyone), and absolutely hate it because he really wants bad people to become better and is very forgiving… or he would get so deeply disappointed in bad people not becoming better that his brain would completely melt and he would start going “… it can’t be helped, can it?”. But once again, one really has to bend canon and put Kalim through a lot for this to happen.

Jamil – a vigilante whose only mission is to protect himself lol I can see a scenario in which Jamil starts killing off influential people out of spite. He could never kill Kalim or anyone from the Asim family, but he has no relation to other families or wealthy colleagues of Kalim’s father, and he hates their greedy grease faces so much that killing them is actually a huge stress relief. But also, his killing off Kalim’s potential assassins and other mercenaries who try to attack him would also count as serial murdering…

Vil – I think he would start out as an impulsive killer who let his emotion and stress take over. And it doesn’t even have to be with Neige, he might “accidentally” (i.e. he didn’t think the punch was that hard) kill off someone rando who was harassing him, and then after that point he’ll start doing it from time to time. Of course, he would suffer from guilt, but overtime he’ll try to dull this emotion with more killings. He believes that he only kills those who are doing bad things with young actors in the industry, but he did kill a couple of nasty and obnoxious guys who were pretty much his stalkers. The difference is just that he poisons the first ones and tries to make it as clean as possible, and he gets very emotional with the second ones.

Rook – this guy is all over the place, and yet in his head he has this whole thing figured out. He honours people that he kills, he takes the flower from a young and blooming tree to make sure that its beauty lives forever between the pages of his diary… Rook Hunt has a lot of weird ideas, and I can see him as all kinds of serial killer: he could create installations with people’s dead bodies, he could consume people for food and use their hair and skin for craft, he could literally put a body in a glass case and freeze it or taxidermy it, he could punish those who, unfortunately, only steal from other’s beauty and thus aren’t beautiful at all… I guess Rook Hunt is an amalgamation of every criminal from Hannibal TV series lol

Epel – pretty similar to Ace, I think. He definitely needs to be put in a horrible situation in which he doesn’t have much of a choice but to kill. But also I think after some point he would start feeling so helpless and weak that he would become more aggressive, and maybe even start taking it out on people who are completely unrelated to his troubles, just to make himself feel at least a little bit powerful. He is pretty good at cutting and is pretty fast, also good at hiding, but he is also sloppy, so he’ll get caught pretty soon. The world will be charmed by the image of a pretty boy doing horrible things… and then they’ll give him a stupid nickname and he’ll get mad lol This is your true punishment, Epel.

Idia – I don’t think he would be capable of becoming a serial murderer, not only because of his psyche, but also because of the logistics – it’s easy to do a lot of things to ruin someone else’s life while sitting in front of your pc in your dusty dark room, but it’s not easy to murder someone like that. I mean, he could hire an assassin on darkweb… or maybe he could create a virus that explodes phones and computers. Never mind, where there is a will, there is a way lol But in terms of will, I think Idia would only do something like that if he feels like he has no other choice, i.e. if he (or Ortho) is getting severely bullied. He does joke about killing off everyone who mischaracterises his favourite anime girl though lol

Ortho – a little yandere. We’ve seen him being willing to murder a bunch of people for Idia’s sake multiple times now, and it was just him being silly lol While he learns more empathy and starts to value others more overtime, his number one priority is still Idia, and he would easily be willing to anything to protect him… or simply out of jealousy!

Lilia – he already had his share of serial murders, our local mister war criminal lol And given how much time he had to reflex on his past and on the life and death in general, I don’t think he would go for it right now. But he isn’t a saint and it’s not like he would avoid murder at all cost, so I can see him easily killing off a bunch of people while trying to protect Malleus or Silver or, in case of Malleus, to take revenge for dishonouring or even just disrespecting him.

Silver – he wouldn’t! He is a good boy that values life too much. I think he is one person in NRC who is aware of his ability to kill (he has to protect Malleus, after all), but would do anything to avoid it at all cost.

Sebek – while generally he isn’t super bloodthirsty (surprisingly), he would get bloodthirsty real quick if Malleus himself or his honour is in danger, or if Sebek feels like it is. Yeah, pretty similar to Lilia, but Sebek is much more hot-headed, much less mature and much messier in general. It’s possible for Sebek to become a version of himself that kills people off for Malleus’ sake even without Malleus asking him to. Malleus could not even be aware of that person existence, and Sebek would think that he has this duty to “clean”. He is a fanatic, and while he is super loyal and obedient, he is also very entitled and acts according to ideas in his head (including fae superiority). Similarly to Riddle though, he would partially do it to dull the feeling of “oh no I did something horrible”, but a lot of it would genuinely be his desire to serve Malleus in the best way possible and to eliminate everyone who doesn’t share his adoration of him.

Malleus – pettiness. I don’t think Malleus would do something like that out of any major reason or great idea, the only thing that someone powerful like him really needs is pettiness. He also isn’t just some guy that hangs out in his basement sharpening knives; the scale of his actions would be massive. The worst version of Malleus murders people for fun, out of spite, to command others’ attention, completely on a whim, fully embracing his god complex and somehow being a spoiled brat at the same time. He might come up with some Great Idea of course, he might even start thinking about fae being superior do other beings, but all of that would just be pretty words to cover the fact that he is very petty and deeply unhappy. This Malleus combined with previously described Sebek would be a very dangerous combo…

[kkotda]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KKOTDA (DEAR-KOI) ˖°𓇼

for a month with so little notable (national - us) holidays, august sure is a busy month for dear-koi (both this blog and i have our birthdays in august!). to celebrate, i am planning on opening rolling slots for art requests! it'll be on a first come first served basis. i will close requests on september 1, 2024 (no more requests will be accepted when september starts)

what this means:

all of my followers, mutuals or not, are eligible to participate! please no requests sent with anonymous! they will not be honored! (i don't plan on publically posting requests unless given explicit permission! so please allow images in your ask box or dms open!)

please continue reading to learn how to participate and other important rules!

how to participate:

in an ask (or dm if we're mutuals), tell me what you'd like! character only art and selfship are the ones i'm most comfortable doing, but i'm willing to hear out other requests (oc's for example). maximum of 7 requests (characters) per person are allowed! note: you will not need to provide me with any sort of monetary compensation in order to participate! i will not accept any monetary compensation! (i don't have the means to do so). this is supposed to be all in good fun, to practice and develop a style i think suits me! so taking money for making your request a guinea pig would make me feel all types of guilty (if you really feel the need, tell me your favorite song(s)! i'm always open to new music! better yet, donate to a palestinian family!) for selfship art requests, please also include a picrew from which i can color pick (i.e. the more accurate the picrew's colors are, the more personable it can be!) and reference poses. if the picrew is not accurate, please feel free to provide preferred hex codes or color 'swatches'! vague descriptions like dark brown aren't very helpful and might make the situation uncomfortable (though i will of course honor any changes that are needed!). i will honor character requests from any media even if i am not a part of said fandom group! (i will ask for no idol/celebrity requests though because i am uncomfortable with that, sorry in advance for any inconvenience!) for oc art, please provide as many details, references, picrews as possible. i absolutely do not want to mess something as precious and valuable as an oc up. i will try my very best to fulfill your request to fit the image you had in mind! tl;dr: give me so much information i have to spend days reading (also i forgot to say this but if you'd like a background that isn't white, you're more than welcome to change the color! transparent is also an option!)

ok to draw:

people (characters, etc), small animals (like pets), sfw (suggestive is also okay with enough reference pictures!), chibi

not ok to draw:

nsfw (i'm not that good yet, i'm sorry T-T), gore/horror, overly complicated things (i'll let you know if it gets too complicated)—basically just ask, and i will tell you!

please keep in mind:

i am slowly getting back into drawing (but i was never good in the first place tbh...) so i'm still very much learning! my art style currently is still a lot of mimicking (i do not use fanart as references, please don't misunderstand!!!), and as such i will ask you all to keep your expectations very very low T-T like rock bottom low...

default art will have a white background! i can and will color if colors are provided! (but there won't be any crazy good rendering, i'm sorry ;-;)

the purpose of this event is me practicing and learning art, but it's also me giving back to my beautiful friends who make the world go round! thank you so much for trusting me with your request(s) and i will do my utmost to make it come to life! if you'd like a 'portfolio' of sorts, please search the lovekoi tag! it is my art tag that i'm using and all of my stuff will be there (there's not a whole bunch though unfortunately >.<)

if you have any questions, please ask! i feel like i've left out a lot of things...

and finally, some parting words:

dear-koi has come a really long way i think. i moved here on a whim and essentially lost all of my previous mutuals (i should've just shared the url... </3) but you all found me again! and new people found me too! i'm so honored to have been worthy of the follow to following transition, you guys will not believe the squeals every time people i've looked up to like big time became mutuals with me... it's still crazy to me actually... but that aside, thank you for spending my birthday and dear-koi's 1st anniversary with me! here's to many more!

i love you all, please remember to smile today ᰔᩚ

[genderkoolaid]

I have seen some intersex people, such as on the recent post you reblogged, say they are uncomfortable with the term salmacian (not necessarily the transition, but how the word is derived). I myself am intersex and don't really have any thoughts besides "do what makes you happy" I'm curious how you navigate this! Sorry if this is assuming you are perisex but if you are, I think you are a good ally. But this sort of transition is controversial to some intersex people (not that it should be).

Okay wait- I looked in the notes of that post and the person talking about salmacian as a term is just. spreading misinformation?

"Salmacian" has nothing to do with salamanders being hermaphroditic animals. The term Salmacian comes from the Spring of Salmacis, which comes from the nymph Salmacis who fell in love with the god Hermaphroditus and wanted to be joined physically with him forever. The Spring of Salmacis, in mythology, was said to have the ability to feminize men & masculinize women who bathed in it. You can read more about the history of the term here, which also mentions that the [modern, queer use of the] term was coined by an intersex queer person (formerly Raphael Carter, now Cameron Reed).

I don't doubt that there are salmacians who act in intersexist ways. But this is just... misinformation, and its equally confusing that they say using salmacian is a "roundabout way of saying they ID as intersex"? And given that, I don't know if by "fetishization" they are including "salmacian people liking our own bodies/our ideal bodies & talking about that." Again, I'm not saying fetishization of being intersex doesn't happen, or that salmacian people are never intersexist (I haven't personally seen it so far, but I am sure there have been salmacian people who make intersexist comments about intersex people's bodies, or hypothetical bodies). But like. It does not inspire me with confidence that they are either wildly misinformed or lying about the term salmacian.

To kind of answer your question, I think that going forward there's an unavoidable need to have discussions between intersex people & salmacians (one which especially supports intersex salmacians), and I think its right perisex people who are salmacian to feel some kind of obligation to educate themselves on intersex issues and be vocally & actively against intersexism as much as they can. But I also think there's unavoidable exorsexism around how salmacians are perceived that also needs to be considered in these discussions, and how a lot of times when people talk about salmacians they end up re-using transphobic rhetoric (i.e "you just want to change your body to fit your sick fetish!") & there's also going to be areas where our oppressions overlap & its important that we have solidarity with one another on that. The internet is unfortunately a generally not great place for tough discussions.

[bfpnola]

I am not Palestinian nor am I Jewish. Be that as it may, I hate settler colonialism, even more so as a brown, bi, genderqueer ‘Afab’ person. I just wanted to say. 1) your post on the topic is more empathetic and insightful than I’ve seen a lot of people be about this over my entire life and I’ve asked questions of both sides, I tend to stay out of the fray cause I don’t feel it my place to speak over Palestinians and Jews (who are critical of Israel). But, do you have any advice for being a better ally to Palestinians and combating anti-semitism and anti Jewish racism in the everyday?

hey sweetheart! thank you for your commitment to the movement and your earnestness. i am not Palestinian or Jewish either, so i did what is always considered best: i asked those who are! that's exactly why our Advocacy Committee within BFP exists :)

from one of our Palestinian youth volunteers:

if you have the money to do so, donate to the cause! the unfortunate truth is that to gain access to various resources, things cost money. more specifically, donate to humanitarian aid funds you've done the research for and are sure are doing work on the ground. even better if you can donate directly to those being affected! this includes Palestinians on the ground but also within the diaspora who need self care items, especially for all the work they've been doing educating others. for example, this is an organization this member volunteers with and trusts:

and these are two amazon lists of Palestinian youth within the diaspora:

share posts by Palestinians! the big thing is really just getting the word out, sharing their perspective. Zionist propaganda is hard to penetrate so the least we can do is uplift their voices by sharing!

from one of our Jewish youth volunteers:

understand that not all Jewish people are Zionists and not all Zionists are Jewish. saying the two are equivalent is not only antisemitic but ignores the blatant statistics, like the growing number of anti-Zionist Jewish young adults in the united states for example, or the fact that the biggest supporters of israel are actually evangelicals.

to that same point, know that israel has been purposefully trying to conflate the two in order to then label anyone who does critique the state as automatically antisemitic. it is a tool.

additionally, be careful with the rhetoric you choose to spread & subscribe to (i.e., watch how they describe israel. do they refer to the people as Jews or Zionists? it can tell you a lot about how educated they are and their vague stance on the matter)

my own additions as a longstanding ally and friend of those involved:

learn your history! there is a clear attempt to distort the history of Palestine. learn what Palestine was like before israel's occupation. learn about the way pioneering Zionists openly called Zionism "colonialism" and didn't even try to hide it. learn about how discussions of the Zionist project were discussed roughly 80 years before the Holocaust ever happened. this does not mean that some Jews did not, in fact, move to Palestine in response to such a horrific event, but in the words of a Jewish mutual of mine, israel's rhetoric literally weaponizes Jewish trauma by conflating these two dates in history.

BDS movement! stands for boycott, divestment, and sanctions!

when possible, actually speak to people of Palestinian descent. like seriously. posts are great, but actually speaking to people who are knowledgeable in real time can be so helpful for getting your questions addressed, so long as you are respectful, of course. a great place to do this, not even to advertise, is actually our Discord server linked in our bio @bfpnola

know that language matters, as inconsequential as it may seem. in the words of my Palestinian, Kashmiri, and Artsakhi friends and/or mutuals, when speaking of occupations, we capitalize the occupied people's country (ex. Palestine) while not doing so for the occupier's (ex. israel) to delegitimize them.

learn about Hamas and its history/purpose. here are my notes on two podcast episodes let by Palestinians:

thank you for your ask! im sure i may think of other things later but these are my answers for now.

-- reaux (she/they)

[offside-the-lines]

Safe Sex Resource

A lot of the time, in our writings online, we don’t always show our characters practicing safe sex (whether for narrative flow or other reasons) and will just add in our author’s notes to practice safe sex in your real life. It can be hard to find good and concise information online so I have compiled this for authors to link in their notes. I recommend everyone take a look, there might be something in here you didn't already know.

This post is largely inspired by @fakejuly who shared a lot of their knowledge and advice from their years in the sw industry, and from my own experience creating curriculums for and teaching sex & relationship education.

I have tried to make it as inclusive as possible, please let me know if you have any feedback. If you spot something I missed, please let me know. I will be updating this periodically. My inbox is also always open if you have any questions/concerns/etc.

Last update: Jan 16, 2024

wrap it up

"Condoms prevent STIs and pregnancy in the vast majority of cases, when used correctly." 

Using a condom correctly and consistently can increase its efficacy from 87% to 98%. Most surveyed individuals are not using it correctly or consistently so make sure you are well-informed. We hear this all the time, but what does “used correctly” actually mean?

Familiarize yourself with the steps.

Using the right size: if it's too big, it can slide off or leak; if it's too small, it can break or come off. Condoms usually come in 5 sizes (there are options like MyONE that have 52 sizes).

Condoms can be damaged by heat. They should be kept somewhere cool (not in wallets, or sat on in back pockets, or kept in your glovebox). They also have an expiry date. 

Sex can also lead to friction (heat) so condoms should be changed between activities and after about 15 minutes of any vigorous activity.

Never double up (i.e. wearing two condoms or using both an external and an internal condom).

Use lube 100% of the time (except oral sex), even if you think you don't need it, even for "lubricated" condoms (the lube mainly stops it sticking to itself). Lube should be applied to the outside, but a drop in the tip of the condom before putting it on is also a good idea.

NEVER use oil-based lube or any type of oil (e.g. lotion, vaseline, coconut oil). Water based lube is the best option. Silicone based lube can be good for sex in water (e.g. shower, pool, bath) or providing more sustaining slip, but be careful near your sex toys (more on this later).

Penetrative partners should hold the base of the condom when they pull out immediately after they ejaculate so the condom doesn't leak or come off as the penis gets flaccid.

For oral sex (vulval or anal), you should use a barrier. You can make one out of a condom. (There are also companies like Loral that make latex “underwear” that have great sensation transfer and are a very good barrier for AFAB individuals).

Sharing sex toys: Most of the sex toy safety recommends "don't share them ever" which unfortunately is impractical for some people.

If more than one person is going to use the toy (within a session or between different sessions), use a condom.

Condoms are often coated in a thin layer of silicone lube. This can react with low-quality silicone toys - there are unlubricated condoms for those - but higher-quality (platinum cured) silicone should be fine. When in doubt, spot test on the base of the toy.

As with above, always use water-based lube. 

Condoms have not been proven to protect you from mold that the toy may be harboring or toxic chemicals from low-quality materials (e.g. jelly toys).

prevention is the best cure

Due to the variable efficacy of condoms, for individuals where pregnancy is a concern, it is recommended to also be using the pill, injection, IUD, etc.

Condoms (internal or external) are the only prevention for STIs. This isn't meant to be stressful - the most common STIs are treatable and often curable (more on this later).

STIs can be transmitted via fluids AND skin contact, so use condoms when you’re engaging in oral sex, hand stuff or sharing sex toys, in addition to penetrative sex.

STIs can be transmissible via any of your fluid membranes, that includes your mouth, throat, nose, and eyes.

Condoms are extremely effective against HIV, and reasonably effective against chlamydia and gonorrhea. Contracting chlamydia and gonorrhea is not the end of the world, it is curable with antibiotics but you can also be asymptomatic.

Condoms aren’t as effective at preventing herpes (symptomatically will manifest as open sores) and HPV (symptomatically will manifest as genital warts). 

Everyone who is able to should get the HPV vaccine, regardless of gender or sexuality. HPV is the most common STI. Most cases resolve on their own within 2 years, but for those that don’t, it can lead to cancers of the cervix, vagina, vulva, penis, anus and throat. Almost all cervical cancers are caused by HPV. The vaccine is extremely effective.

Even if you believe you have been safe and are asymptomatic, get tested regularly. At least once a year. (Even if you are in a long term monogamous relationship).

In summary:

Try your best to be safe but in real life, shit happens, so at least stick to these three things: 1) know your safety boundaries prior to sex and don't change them for anybody, 2) talk/ask about STI status before anything begins, and 3) get tested regularly.

CONSENT IS MANDATORY.

Communication is what makes sex good. Talking about sex is sexy. :) 

[moiraimyths]

just wondering, out of all the options for clothes at the tailor which one is the ‘masculine’ one, if that applies?

Temair's fashion sensibilities, especially among the upper classes, are in general very airy and loose regardless of gender. Take the following example: Cethor wears more traditional garments (inspired by historical Irish clothing), i.e. a léine (the long yellow tunic) and ionar (the vest), which may strike as rather dress-like or feminine when compared with modern clothing. Keagan conversely wears a newer style of clothing in Temair, popular with the middle class; a caftan (the robe-like garment), high collared tunic, trousers, etc. These are not especially historically accurate from a regional perspective; caftans/kaftans were more popular with the Ottomans, Russians, etc. But unfortunately the pool of historical Irish clothing with visual references is rather small (little is known pre-12th century, and the English banned a lot of Ireland's traditional clothes 😩), so we occasionally (often) need to "eeehhh?? sure".

So anyway: In the tailor scene, the 'masculine' garment would be the caftan outfit, which in our mind's eye blends these two styles together. You're dressed in a long saffron tunic (similar to Cethor's) with a mauve caftan (similar to Keagan's). Seelie love their spring/summer colours, and vibrant/colourful clothes are status indicators.

However, if you're looking for an outfit without any 'pomp', you can opt for the simple tunic and trousers instead - similar to what the lower class NPC sprites wear. They're as gender neutral as jeans and a t-shirt would be, but not terribly exciting either.

[coralinnii]

I had some people a little curious as to how I rated the TWST boys in my "TWST guys I would let date my niece (theoretically)" post in terms of personality only (considering they're fictional and my niece is 10). I can't completely answer everyone since there's only so many words tumblr would let me write as a reply, so here's for anyone who was curious.

The rating system was created alongside my niece on what she wanted in a partner (as much as she understood dating, anyway), compatibility with her personality, and my input as someone who has either met, known, or fortunately and unfortunately dated ppl with such personalities. With this in mind, maybe our list would be different from how you would categorize, which yea fair enough. This is all hypothetical anyway and it was interesting to see what my niece likes.

This does NOT mean I dislike any of the TWST guy. Seeing how unique each of them are personality-wise is honestly amazing and I want to believe that even if you have what people call "red-flags", "dealbreakers" or "turn-offs", that doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, just incompatible (with exceptions of like really toxic, destructive traits, like stealing someone's dog. Don't do that, guys).

Has my seal of approval

Trey responsible, good work ethic, loves to bake + the bonus of cute glasses (apparently me and my niece really like glasses).

Kalim fun-loving, open to new experiences, optimistic, and willing to learn if you're willing to teach.

Silver kind if a bit intimidating-looking, takes care of others, family-oriented,

Jack responsible, good lifestyle, works hard, kind while kinda grumpy, family-oriented.

Vil responsible, good life habits, works hard for success, not stuck on gender norms, kind if sort of stuck-up.

Lilia mature, fun-loving, open to new experiences, loves kids, not quick to anger. He does have his secrets, tho.

Neige kind, works hard for success, not afraid to be silly,

Ok…but I’m keeping an eye on you

Ace he's kinda lazy and willing to cheat in school but not a bad person.

Cater not willing to be vulnerable sometimes but is a responsible person that respects boundaries.

Azul a bit too opportunistic (in a sense he's also judging the value of anything, first) for me and may not vibe well with my niece but not bad.

Jamil not happy with how he sometimes lies and insincerely flatters others, but I don't think he does it maliciously so not a bad guy(?)

Ortho prone to violence if he thinks that's the best logical solution (i.e, hacking into security and blowing up the school??) so kinda worried.

Chenya a little too fickle and in-and-out physically which worries me, but he seems loyal and brave.

First, you and I are gonna have a talk

Riddle mainly his temper and impatience…and the in-laws

Deuce also his temper, and my niece prefers smart ppl (ooff)

Ruggie the 5-finger discount don’t fly under my watch

Epel also temper and prone to get into fights in the beginning. Also, my niece's not into the "gotta be manly" mentality, what are you gonna do?

Sebek it's mostly the temper and shouting…and tone down the Malleus simping

Jade don’t be bringing drama into my household

Rook it’s the creepy simping

Malleus kinda seen in early Book 7 and the spectral realm event, he doesn't communicate and talk things through with others and just does things on his own because he's powerful enough to do so, which is just...something we gotta talk about, first.

Oh, you and I are gonna fight, first!

Leona spoiled to high heavens, gives up on a lot of things, and is too used to having things done for him. I'm not letting my niece become his maid!

Floyd No...just no. He's the friend that I worry my niece will someday have to pick up at the police station. No

Idia Quick to judge others, kinda thinks he's smarter than everyone, and has a hard time communicating and socializing even with his friends and partners. I know this because I used to date someone like Idia, and currently have a crush on another person very similar to him.

Rollo Also (sorta) dated someone like him which is...an experience. Treated me as someone pure and sweet, but disliked my friends because she thought they were bad influences. Also really wanted me to join her kinda sketchy religious thing which I wasn't really into.

[a-wonderful-danganronpa]

🩸 ABOUT: the Perfumist Wonder

[NO SPOILERS]

another sacrifice Character to introduce to you all today! give it up for...

...🩸 the Perfumist Wonder!

somewhere between a witch and a seductress, our Perfumist Wonder is known far and wide for scents that provoke a variety of outcomes in the user.

she's strikingly gorgeous, mysterious, soft-spoken, and, honestly, rather amoral—in fact, she’d be the first to shove various small critters into test tubes to melt them into goo for the masses. unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, she is extremely sickly, with constant nosebleeds and vomiting. this is normal to her, and she claims she will soon die, but is utterly unfazed by this.

design stuff:

another one of those characters that took me Forever to figure out. i wanted a Perfumist from the start, but shifted her role and personality around a lot: at one point she was basically the Undertaking Wonder, until i split some traits and backstory out. i think it made both of them stronger presences

among other things, she is our gross-out character, and i admit that. y'know, the one who's always sweating, bleeding, and throwing up. what can i say, i have the comedy sense of a 9 year old

...but she's also intended to be a Hottie, and i admit that too. balancing this and her nastiness has been a fun challenge, and has resulted in an amazing, disgusting weirdo. i wanted to elevate her past "the sexy one" and into something Genuine But Freakass. you will love her

no name yet, but heavily leaning towards something "Rain Code" i.e. half-Japanese and half "stateless."

in-universe:

her birthday is Apr 20th, making her a Taurus!

her blood type is B!

likes: "a good time"

dislikes: smoke

in my design document, her three keywords are BLOODY, AMORAL, and GLAMOROUS.

she hiccups while talking, for an extra dose of ick

there's rumors that she's a cannibal, but look at that face. (or, uh, pretend you're looking at that face. she doesn't have a face yet.) do you really believe that?

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

[leaf-sheep]

As much as I appreciate the wonderful people who make sci fi and fantasy sex toys, tongue and tentacle themed dildos always just feel like they're going up against impossible expectations.

Like, the whole appeal of tentacles and tongues (for me, at least) is the prehensile aspect. Something that can not only push its way inside you, but that can then twist around to rub against all the right spots or even grab hold from inside so you can't pull them out...

ANyways. Um. Yeah so like I've seen a lot of dildos that follow this theme that still have amazing detail and do look like fun shapes, but I could never bring myself to get one because it'll never be what I want. I have seen some that are like SUPER long and flexible and those I could maybe be interested in? Those seem like they might have a little more versatility, but still not the full articulation of my dreams.

Although on that note, I do recall videos of some pretty interesting segmented snake-like robots...

Ok derailing this post as I'm writing it to talk about the potential for cutting-edge robotics in sex toys to bring all our dreams of tentacle monsters to life. Horny amateur opinions on robotics below the cut.

So we have these things, which have been around for a while (this image is from this 2013 article). Basically a series of solid links with little motors inside to let them twist into different shapes. I think if you fitted something like this with a silicone sleeve you could probably have something pretty good? The one in the picture looks pretty clunky but I'm sure you could design something with shorter links. Even with the sleeve though, it would still have that really solid core and probably not very pliable. Might be good for some things though, and probably the best for us robophiliacs.

Then we have designs like this. Its an inflatable tube where as air is pumped in, the plastic tube extends from the middle and extends forward. Kind of like those slippery plastic toys filled with goo from the aquarium that seem like they would make good sex toys but really don't? I think this one also works pretty straightforwardly for our purposes. You'd want a decently sturdy material for the balloon part (maybe even make it textured), and you'd want it to be lubricated before extending. That would probably mean extending it, lubricating it, then retracting it so that when it extends again its already good to go. I'm not an expert on how these things are usually controlled but the common use cases seem to be things like going into rubble or pipes, so it should be fairly well suited to extending into an orifice. Unfortunately as far as I can tell they don't have a lot of articulation once they are extended, though they can extend into different curved shapes, so it'd be more about getting filled.

And lastly (at least for this post) we have soft robots. I think the Spiderverse version of Doc Ock's arms took visual inspiration from these. These are usually a soft, rubbery, stretchy material, but they can be articulated in different ways. Some of them use tendon-like sections that compress or pull, others fill with air or water, but ultimately these are functionally the closest to muscles we have in robotics atm (at least to my knowledge). They're also... kind of enticing as they are already. They're naturally soft, and they have a very lifelike motion that I think is really appealing. You could definitely get some fun squirming motions with these.

The next problem would be making them smart, i.e. able to react properly to your movements and to be able to find the right areas automatically. As far as I know, these soft robots are mostly long extensions that are controlled from the base. That's just fine, but there isn't much feedback to the controller about what the bot is interacting with. Ideally, my robot tentacle monster lover shouldn't have to ask me if it's in yet. For the ones that work on water or air pressure you might be able to do something by reading the pressure changes from different sections to let it feel its way around a little bit? But that would still be pretty imprecise and clumsy. I'm not sure what the current state of the field is like right now for small pressure sensors, but that would probably be the best. Alternatively, maybe something like an ultrasound? You'd probably want some little pellets of hard material embedded in the bot tentacle to help it stand out. Don't they have new ones that can provide a proper 3D reading of babies and stuff?

Hmm actually that does sound hot. The machine spreads a cool gel on your belly and presses a sensor to your skin, so it can watch its arms slither inside you, stretching your belly forward almost as if there really was something alive inside... then once it's situated, it starts moving to slide the arms over all the most sensitive places...

Unfortunately I think it might be a little late to switch tracks to an engineering career so I can mad science my way into getting tentaclefucked by a robot and become a slave to my own creation. A tragedy.

[nayialovecat]

The Ink Demonth 2024 - Day 14. Steam

I considered various ideas. I had in mind this corridor in the third chapter, where there is a loud steam engine, which once made me not notice that Bendy was approaching (that corridor leading probably to the destroyed Little Miracle Station). I considered referring to tea again (continued negotiations). I was thinking about doing something with the snow and the exhaled steam. Summary: lots of ideas. And then the first idea I had when I saw this theme came back to me - me buying/playing BATIM for the first time (i.e. Steam as gaming platform). But that one was quite boring, so I decided to modify the idea - and this is what I came up with.

In case anyone didn't get it from the descriptions… Each of us wants to play one of my three favourite games on Steam, which are (in order of like): Me - Don't Starve Together. Sammy - Cult of the Lamb, of course. I know he has approached this game jealously and aggressively so far, but he has already processed his thousand stages of grief. And Bendy - The Sims 4. Unfortunately, BATIM currently finds itself off the podium. I still like to come back to it - but only to chapter 2 and sometimes 4. Yes, I'm looking for someone to play Don't Starve Together TOGETHER. Unfortunately, it's hard to find other NORMAL players, plus I'm a very slow, one could say "inept" player who doesn't care about breaking time-records in building a base, defeating bosses, etc.

While drawing this picture, I discovered two unpleasant things. The first is that on the paper in this notebook, my beloved uni-pins treated with bambino crayons smudge terribly. Therefore, although I planned to colour Sammy and Bendy as they look in our world (gray suspenders, different shades of yellow for the skin or the mask, etc.) I gave up on it and made them all yellow. Sad. For comparison - on the printer paper I use to draw SATIM stripes, I had no such problem. And secondly, even a few hours after drying nail polish, when you run your nail across the paper, the nail polish will leave a colourful line on it that cannot be erased. Damn!

Fun fact. Apart from the fact that I lost weight in this picture (I came to the conclusion that why should I force myself to draw myself fat when in my mind's eye I don't see myself as fat at all?), my outfit and appearance (hair, nails, etc.) are very appropriate to what I was looking like today. Yes, currently my hair is green-blue. But as soon as the dye is washed off, I'm going to go back to purple - it's the one I feel best in.

PS. Yes, I know I screwed up the computer mouse, my husband already reminded me that mice have tails at the top, not at the bottom… I use a wireless one every day, I could have made a mistake, damn it!