#i.. think. mayb a cusp

[princeminnow]

i gots my first squishmallow btw!!! hes mame alex tho idk if thatll stay cuzza my friend alex from school. still look at him!!! 🐶🐶

i got em cuz he lookd like a boxer doggy!! rrrr woof!!

(dni nsfw/kink)

[moe-broey]

I CANNOT BE DOING THIS. THIS IS NOT WHAT I INTENDED TO DO. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[whimsicalcotton]

Rachel and Nico have the same birthday??????

[dirtbra1n]

there’s a word for it. a name. for the people who take care of corpses before a funeral. hanzawa masato doesn’t remember it right now, though, because right now he’s up in the midnight hours, lying flat on the couch in the living room. too warm. he doesn’t care to remember it, the name.

it’s way, way too warm.

dying used to be simpler than this. there was no pavement, there were no buildings, there were no faceless people.

cold, though. there was cold.

the water wasn’t really flowing, too shallow, he was slowing it down, but his blood was. staining the ice.

it was gross.

he couldn’t stretch out his legs, couldn’t reach his arms out over his head. his fingers were cold and useless and deadened, and slow. the air he was struggling to breathe was pushing in and flowing out of his lungs through the puncture wound in his chest. so slow.

he’s been there before. he’s here now.

sitting stiff in the water, soaked to the bone, dying in isolation. bleeding out, masato thinks he’s alive. suffocating, he’s convinced he won’t be for much longer.

he’s not sure he’s anywhere.

dying used to be so easy.

instead of waiting until he couldn’t stand to look at himself anymore, kneeling until his head went under and waiting it out, probably getting swept away by the current until he crashed downstream—he wouldn’t know, he never lived to see that part—instead of that—

he’s wading around a little lost. he’s bleeding. the ghosts only look at him when they know it’ll sting worst, long shadows cast over the water, malformed specters dancing in mockery of him. he thinks his feet are getting a little worse than sliced up by jagged hateful rocks out of sight. that’s depressingly the least of his worries. it’s being impaled by the moon in a loop of time that fucking hates him. but he’s already bleeding. he’s a little surprised that he’s still got blood to bleed.

instead of releasing what could have become a burden, it’s him standing, helplessly, in the river, night after night after night. because it’s nighttime now. it keeps being nighttime.

it’s the kind of thing you’d almost expect to be a relief.

“hanzawa senpai.”

masato turns his head, creaky like a wooden doll. “…tashiro-kun.”

kimono-clad, he offers a hand. “you’re not face first in muck this time.”

masato doesn’t take it. a sharp smile curves his cheeks, not insincere. “thank you. ‘this time?”

tashiro smiles sheepishly down at him. squints. “did you die?”

“do I look dead?”

it’s hard to see from the water, but masato knows that tashiro’s shifted his eyes. saw it in the back of his mind, recorded on crackly film. he says, instead of answering, “I’ve got bandages.”

masato wishes he had something to rest his elbows on, to brace himself on. it doesn’t feel right playing his games standing upright, his hands in his sleeves instead of holding his head on his shoulders. “ta-shi-ro-kuuun, what do you think I need those for?” masato knows what.

tashiro replies anyway, drily from up on uneven paving, “hanzawa senpai, you’re bleeding. you need blood. to survive.”

“tashiro-kun, did I die?”

things are splintering a little. crackly film.

a web of cracks splitting tashiro’s composure, his voice shaking, “why did you?”

that wasn’t what masato asked.

—

“hanzawa senpai.”

“…”

“senpai.”

“…tashiro-kun.”

“you’re not face first in muck this time.”

the smile’s carving itself in, muscle memory. masato’s not going to ask what he meant by this time. “thank you.”

“did you die?”

“do I look dead?”

in the old school projector film behind his eyelids, the flickering doesn’t feel out of place. “I’ve got bandages.”

“ta-shi-ro-kuuun, what do you think I need those for?” masato’s always known what.

“hanzawa senpai, you’re bleeding. you need blood. to survive.”

“tashiro-kun, did I die?”

the shadows cast by a lantern hidden just behind tashiro make his shoulders look broad. masato swallows down a laugh, but he’s not sure what’s funny. “don’t be shallow, senpai, looks aren’t everything.”

the laugh comes out anyway. he manages, “I feel dead, forget the looks.”

“I can’t. I won’t.”

masato takes his turn to squint. they weren’t taking turns. it doesn’t matter. he doesn’t know if he still feels like laughing. he knows for sure that he can’t think of anything to say.

it’s just as well. tashiro isn’t having the same problem. “I think you should just, I don’t know. care about yourself more.”

masato swallows. his lips press into a chagrined line. “I don’t not care,” he says.

tashiro looks right through him. his eyes are like headlights.

he doesn’t actually need to say it, and masato can tell that he almost doesn’t, but maybe tashiro thought he needed to hear it out loud, feel it taking up space. maybe he was right.

“your caring sucks, senpai. it killed you.”

masato doesn’t want to follow that thread. “how many times have you been here, tashiro-kun?”

tashiro doesn’t buy into it. his demeanor is at once solemn and jarringly pleading, “senpai, won’t you live for once?”

masato means to say it like a joke, because it is one, but by accident the words, “how could I begin to deny you,” are dropping off his tongue, he doesn’t even know why, he doesn’t know why he said that, and no amount of exaggerated irreverence can hide from tashiro—eyes like cleavers, more like—the characters slipping into the water.

the ripples aren’t all that big, but they’re big enough.

like when your head aches, or the gash in your chest is losing you too much blood, or the water is tugging itself a little too close to that gash to be comfortable. something like that. something like that. it’s enough.

he doesn’t think he’s making any sense. it’s just too warm.

“maa-kun,” his older brother’s crooning, pushing his damp bangs off his forehead with cold fingers, “I think you’re sick.”

masato blinks away what he hopes is sweat. “gross.”

“not gross, worrying. sit up please.”

“I’ll throw up.”

“you won’t.”

“you’re right, I won’t.”

he’s getting fussed over in the middle of the night, on the couch that he’s sweating all over, and he’s watching a fan across the room spin and it’s nauseating and he stops looking at it. he’s getting fussed over in the middle of the night, by his older brother, because his mom’s out of town visiting her sister. he’s getting fussed over in the middle of the night, feeling a little out of his body. feeling a little—not at all—a lot like a little kid again. feeling sick, and pathetic.

he goes into the bathroom, wobbly and upset and over-warm, and he throws up.

—

reality’s tearing itself up, his dreams are eating it up, he’s falling apart and melting at the seams, he sits in almost-too-cold water until he thinks he’s gonna throw up again.

put him on ice, already, the sooner the funeral the sooner he can get some fucking rest.

his older brother’s sitting against the door frame, slipping in and out of consciousness. he murmurs, reaching forward to pet his hair, “‘s it too cold?”

masato doesn’t think it’s sweat. “it’s okay.”

—

it wouldn’t have been a very good joke, even if it’d come out right.

masato thinks he just choked around, “I want to. I want to.”

[thepinkseashell]

<3

[lairn]

Book 2/24: Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro

Rating: 5/5

This is my fourth Ishiguro book, and my second favorite behind Remains of the Day. The protagonist, Klara, is built to be a companion to a child, and with her as a narrow window, the reader learns about a scifi dystopian society and the individuals within it.

Ishiguro is a lovely writer, and does an impressive job capturing Klara’s thoughts and ways of processing information. The fragmented imagery, especially during the scene at the waterfall and in the moments where Klara goes to the barn are gorgeous and evocative. I like how much he is able to convey about the nature of Klara’s design (both interior and exterior) without ever describing her beyond her haircut, one fluid she contains, and that she might be fairly small. It’s all done with elegance, and often is like studying a painting full of rich color.

I love gleaning information about the world in pieces as Klara gathers more data and gains a greater understanding herself. Initially it was difficult to stop reading because I wanted to know more. However, eventually the general nature of things clears, and Klara’s point of view becomes frustrating, and then tragic. The reader’s understanding of the characters is limited by Klara’s specialized ethos. She is inquisitive, but does not explore people and their significance beyond their relevance to her task as a companion. I thought I understood the characters fairly well by the end, but then they all grow beyond Klara’s understanding, and I found myself left behind as well.

Klara so wants to prevent loneliness, but I think the reader ends up alone as all the humans leave Klara behind. At that point, the tragedy is made clear. The reader understands a lot more about the world than Klara, and can see the society’s sicknesses that are invisible to her. She does not even see the tragedy of her own situation, and the reader is lonely on her behalf. When I finished reading I felt dissatisfied with the direction of the last portion of the book, but writing this now, I’ve changed my review from 4.75 to 5. It is not what I wanted to have happen, but I think it was effective.

[childofaura]

Been a while since I've sent one of these! What do you think about R!Effie?

AUGH okay so this one I have some thoughts, it was SO CLOSE to being a perfect Resplendent but I think it fell short in some areas.

Resplendent Effie is drawn by Asatani Tomoyo:

This incorporation was SO ALMOST PERFECT. You have the sandals and armor at the hips and shoulders, the tights on the legs and the arms, the buckles, and the red cape. NEARLY PERFECT. But here's where the design started to fall apart: The armored chest plate was too much armor. And the center garment was also unnecessary and it hides her abs. Jotunnheimr garb is SUPPOSED to be revealing on the abs, and the center garment just flies in the face of that. I think these two issues could be fixed if you 1) Remove the chest plate, turn it into a cloth top like Amelia's. In fact, you can keep the pink color so it still incorporates Effie's original design. If you wanna keep the shoulder pauldrons and the hip-guards, that's fine because Jotunn garb still has armor, but just get rid of the chest plate! 2) Get rid of that center garment entirely. Show the abs! There's no reason for that garment, it even LOOKS useless in the design.

The artwork itself is really good though. I especially like how her damage art shows her falling to one knee, but it still looks like she's pushing forward as opposed to the OG art where it looks like she's knocked back. The attack poses are really strong too, though I will say the expressions are... a teeny bit lacking. I've covered Asatani Tomoyo's artwork before, and they're not the strongest on most of their artwork for girls (though Ganglott, Rinea, and Naga look fantastic). But it's still really good art for this Resplendent.

It's not a question at this point, Jotunnheim fits Effie. It'd be an insult to pick any other kingdom for her.

So overall, I'd give Resplendent Effie an 8/10. They were SO CLOSE on that design but they just overcomplicated it with the unnecessary armor and clothing.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[iheart-nishiki]

Mind if I share this idea with you? An AU where Kiryu joins the Nishikiyama Family after getting out of prison, and after seeing Nishiki’s new, self-destructive way of living, he’s like “no way am I letting you live like this anymore”

So he starts taking care of Nishiki— cooking meals for him, pressing his shoulders when he’s stressed, and basically acting like a mother hen to make sure that Nishiki isn’t falling apart. And Nishiki hasn’t been cared for like this, so he kinda just blue-screens the first time, before his temperament eventually softens into that of a grumpy kitten who secretly likes affection ❤️ what do you think?

aaaaaaaah i want so badly to believe in a world where they can go back to being bros so quick..........

but honestly even barring any of the events happening when he gets out of jail i just don't think kiryu would agree to joining the nishikiyama family, especially if he learned what they've really been up to all this time. too loyal to kazama and not even close to coddling enough to take care of nishiki like that😞 he might try to talk him down or reason with him before resorting to more direct methods, but nishiki's got his pride and image to maintain at this point; add on trust issues out the ass it's like trying to approach a feral street cat. he'd sooner swipe kiryu across the nose than let him touch his shoulders.

they're just too different and nishiki's gone too far past a line kiryu would never cross. kiryu wouldn't betray his morals to sink to nishiki's level and nishiki would never admit how far he's sunk, so they're stuck at a stalemate in which neither of them would consider taking a step towards the other. It's all or nothing for both of them :(

[tracle0]

🙃

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

I've realized that, according to personal HC, Electra is the only one of Macavity's kittens that has no difficulty with speech. Plato is fully mute (possibly due to some apraxia of speech, perhaps due to trauma, but they're not entirely sure) and Jemima is selectively mute, but if there's one thing Electra is good at (even more serious as she is), it's chatting and speaking her mind.

[seachanqe]

Unpopular opinion but I kind of miss when blogs had a song that would start playing if you visited it in your browser (on a desktop or laptop). That way you could get the proper vibe for your blog for anyone who visited. Welcome to my lair, here’s my soundtrack.

[trollbreak]

Realizing that I never decided if peires indigo blue or cerulean blue lol

[schakira]

hmmm i have a lot of opinions and thoughts on ai art and i'd need to study the subject more before sharing them. but i also want to write them down and then see if, after the fact, they would change or vary in some way.

[soft-spooks]

ive reached the poijt in the night where i am desperately craving Content

[roetrolls]

“I need more mutant seadwellers”

- person (me) who has so many mutant seadwellers