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Hi, and happy blorbo blursday! (as usual I am @writeblr-of-my-own). I am back and ready to get in the game! For today's question, imagine your characters were in a cartoon TV show (such as Total Drama, Adventure Time, Kim Possible etc). What would their signature outfit be? The one they will never change for the duration of the season, possibly of the whole show? What would be one bit they keep doing or their signature sentence?
Happy blorbo blursday!!
This would be very interesting to answer for B&W because all the characters have their circus outfits, so I'm not gonna do that bc it's boring.
In the dystopia WIP, I've always had a very clear image of what Cristover, Nester and Alexis's outfits look like. Especially Alexis. Their outfit appeared 100% complete in my brain and I never changed it bc it was perfect.
I once did character sheets for all the characters and, while none of them is fully coloured, most of them had a little sketch just to kinda study colours and shapes. And this was Alexis:
Some of the colours are kinda off and the yellow is supposed to be gold but this is the general idea. They're a ridiculously wealthy swordmaster living a life of hedonism and I think this really captures that vibe, especially when you add their facial expressions. They also always have amazing black and gold graphic-ish eyeliner.
Their outfit changes slightly throughout the story to include more red, to represent how they fall deeper and deeper in love with Veera and how this love gradually distances them from their old life (red is Veera's colour, her outfit also gains more gold elements).
If they had to keep the sane outfit throughout the whole "show", I have decided they would only change their outfit once. When they find out that Veera was secretly sent to assassinate them and is probably not even in love with them (she is), we see them venture out of their property for the first time. In this scene they're wearing nothing but red, no gold to be seen - they're not even wearing eyeliner.
Ok, to put this in simple terms, Alexis very vaguely represents "the rich" (together with Nester, the only other character who's main colour is a metallic tone), and Veera represents "the people", since she's the kinda-leader of the common people's revolt. In this scene, Alexis finally leaves their house (the bubble in which the wealthy live, out of touch with the world) and finds their way to a poorer part of Silver City (where Veera is from, they specifically find their way to the building the revolutionaries are using as headquarters) to finally see the real world and learn about Veera's cause. This kickstarts a redemption arc btw.
The colour-switching in a character duo also happens with Cris and Nester, but it means a very different thing and I've already written too much.
Anyway, here are some of the sketches for the other characters:
They are, in this order: Vi, Veo, Veta, and Veera. Veera's design has changed a bit since this was made, but the general shapes and colours are still correct.
As for bits that keep showing up, I guess it would be that everyone struggles to pronounce Vi's full name because of how long it is (it's Anastavius Greterssen). It's not even that hard, but he always pronounces it with his native accent (which is kinda nordic-sounding) and always writes it out in his native language's alphabet, which the other characters can't read. The only time anyone ever saw his name in the "normal" alphabet was his and Veta's marriage certificate, which they lost when they got exiled.
#i love talking about Alexis and Veera <3#they are my oc ship of all time#this whole thing started bc Viktor (Veo's twin brother) and Veera decided the best way to kill Alexis was to honeytrap them#Alexis is the one that owns the military btw#i've talked about them before i think#i also have stuff to say about other characters' designs but they're not as set in stone as Alexis#all their designs are based on a time period in fashion or a culture's tradicional wear#Alexis is regency btw#writing#my wips#writeblr#the dystopia wip#asks#blorbo blursday
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#just a knight looking to her queen for approval
#yellowjackets#yellowjacketsedit#mistynatedit#otp: you should be thanking me#otp#mine#edit#*#evidence*#category*#p r o o f#i love parallels#parallel*#2k#1k#me before the finale: i'm fine with no real teen mistynat dynamic tbh#me after the finale: UNFOLLOW ME RN THIS IS ALL I'M GONNA TALK ABOUT FOR A YEAR#literally like...they CAME FOR ME with the knight/queen dynamic#tbh i still don't think knowing this really changes how i've thought about them or their dynamic#(bc esp with the 'first' antler queen thing like i don't see nat being special to misty as BECAUSE she was queen)#but i LOVE that the seed of it was like a literal pledge of loyalty#anyway i wanna write 5000 fics about misty seeking approval from nat#(also this knight/queen dynamic is giving me MAJOR sq vibes and i'm emotional)
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I know it might seem hokey or corny and I've talked about this before, but I genuinely love that the girls basically can be revived with love. 💖
#it's lovely#all of that lovely love of loveliness#powerpuff girls#blossom#buttercup#bubbles#one of my favorite weird little canon things#they were revived by the town's love in the rowdyruff boys episode#and then the professor revived them with his love for them in knock it off#love love love makes their world go round#i have other headcanons related to this and i think i've talked about them before... but it's fun heehee
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shoutout to whatever L and Light had going on in Time Speaks
#and they had A LOT going on#death note#l lawliet#light yagami#death note fanfiction#lawlight#been thinking about rereading it. overwhelmed with emotion simply at the thought#god that fic is so. so.....#if you've read the fic please....... please talk to me#it's a time loop fic it's a fix-it fic it's got angst it's got lore it's got good misa writing it's got domesticity it's got mind games#it has everything like EVERYTHINGGG#I've never been so engaged with death note lore before#the world building is crazy the build-up to the reveal is crazy#almost every character shows up at least once and I cheered every time#if it weren't 400k words long I'd almost say it should be required reading I love it a lot#I know the author is on tumblr I follow them#if they see this hello thank you I owe you everything actually
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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gentle reminder that if situations like these are affecting you mentally and you genuinely feel like your world is ending, you need to take a step back. parasocial relationships can be so dangerous for your well-being.
17yo me would be having a mental breakdown right now over this, and it took a while for me to realize that was a problem. its ok to be upset, but content creators are not your friends, and you don't know them. you can't let them have that kind of control over your mental health.
#i think most of my followers know this already but still. ive talked abt parasocial stuff before but witht he wilbur stuff I wanted t#wanted to say it again#I've seen a lot of people talk about the importance of his music to them and how thatd emotionally affecting them#and I've felt that with a lot of bands before to that get exposed for being shit#but at the end of the day you Have to step back.#find different music . take a step back.#rambling#discourse#wilbur situation#if my stance isnt already crystal clear#fuck wilbur and fuck abusers. fuck anyone who supports him 👍#tw abuse
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These two are so funny. Women's wrongs standoff
#paranormasight#paranormasight spoilers#ayame tono#harue shigima#paranormasight the seven mysteries of honjo#harue's 'last resort' is probably one of my favorite sequences in this game i think#i loveeee how the shigima and tsutsumi/tono families foil each other#and how harue and ayame are two women in very similar yet different circumstances#it's also so funny how richter just. quietly watches these two try to almost kill each other. king of minding his own business#(i know it's more complex than that ofc but it's still funny)#autumnal rambles#i've said it before but the main cast in this game is truly so great#i really do want to talk more about harue and ayame in more detail some other time because. man. these two#they’re both super interesting on their own and seeing how their desires collide here. delicious#i adore them both. hashtag womens wrongs
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hey! i haven't seen mha in a looong time and i've never payed attention to bakudeku (mostly because i'm not the biggest fan of bully romance), but i'd love to see your take/interpretation/analysis on it? i've been a really big fan of your svsss metas and so i just thought, "hey, you know what, i'm curious to see zykamiliah's take on a ship i've never been interested in from an anime that i haven't seen in years! maybe i'll see something?"
not too sure if you already made a post explaining it (so sorry if you did!), but i've seen enough of the sudden rise of bakudeku reblogs on my feed from your account to ignite my curiosity lol
i just really enjoy hearing about ships because they're an amazing opportunity to explore dynamics and perspectives i've never given much thought/thought about before (coming from a rare pair lover... oh gyx/lbg, my sweet...) so i'd love to see bakudeku, a ship i don't quite understand (yet!) in a more understanding, different, and interesting light! and in complete honesty i trust your judgement with insightful character and ship analysis stuff, so... yeah!
heeey jade! sorry for the wait, i've been busy with work and irl stuff :DDD but i'm here now!
where to even begin lol... well, it's important to note that the relationship between midoriya izuku, the protagonist, and bakugo katsuki, the deuteragonist, is one of the main narrative lines of the manga, at the very core of the story. katsuki is izuku's narrative foil, their character developments are intrinsically connected (specially katsuki's!), and the same can be said about the themes of heroism, of what makes a hero, who can be a hero, what type of hero society needs, or if it needs them at all, etc., questions that also tie to the evolution of their relationship.
so from the start i was sold on this dynamic because i really like relationships that are at the center of a story!! i also like relationships with a complicated history with lots of drama and ups and downs, and i like that each character has their own things going on in their lives even if they are connected and one of the most important persons in each other's lives. big big bonus guaranteed to get my full attention if they are obsessed with each other lol
the thing is, deku and bakugo are in a bad place when the story kicks in. bakugo isn't an active bully, in the sense that he doesn't constantly seek deku out to hurt him, but he IS horribly mean and hostile, and that's because for years he's felt threatened by deku (and deku's heroic qualities), and wants to push him away, because he also feels that deku is looking down on him. the story doesn't shy away from showing and acknowledging that bakugo's behavior is atrocious and needs to change, and it works towards it consistently: he eventually atones, apologizes, and changes. on the other side of the coin, deku has always been paying attention to bakugo and, despite how the latter treated him, would chase him, observe him to the point he has bakugo's moves memorized, takes inspiration from his fighting style and even imitates him to give himself courage to do something specially daring and when he wants to "win" more than "save"; bakugo is his image of victory, ever since they were kids.
i scrolled through my bkdk meta tag, since it's been yeeeeears since i was involved in the fandom, lol, and found this post that tackles the bullying issue specifically and makes some very good points, if you wanted to read it! :D
the manga eventually addresses the problems in their relationship in "Deku vs Kacchan 2" (chapters 117-119), at the time bakugo is feeling turmoils for the part he played in All Might's end. to the question of "why does deku chase and care about bakugo if bakugo is so mean to him?" ch 119 has deku answer that himself:
this fight is the turning point for their relationship, and for the rest of the manga their individual and dual development is mostly upwards. reading bnha is worth it, if anything, just for the beauty of bakugo katsuki's development.
another big aspect that got me hooked in their relationship from the very first anime episode (and first opening) is that they are
✨Childhood Friends✨
(strap in this is gonna get loooooooooong)
Childhood friends (Osananajimi) is kind of a huge trope in manga/anime, often as a romantic interest. According to some sources i quickly consulted in the internet, and some of the manga/anime I've watched, in Japanese culture osananajimi is considered one of the purest bond formed between people, with a level of closeness equal to that between blood relatives; formed at such an early age, at a time when societal restrictions didn't apply yet, the relationship is genuine because they still didn’t need or know how to hide their true feelings from each other. As the childhood friends grew up together, this is considered a special connection, somewhat different to those formed after societal norms and perceptions take precedence. Or, as makeste put it:
here we have two very young children who are introduced to each other at an age when they’re still young enough to have absolutely no secrets. they’re young enough to have not yet learned to be shy or self-conscious, or to downplay their enthusiasm so as not to let others know they care. kids that young don’t hide anything. they don’t lie or deceive. they don’t have agendas, and they assume that others don’t either. it is, in short, a very pure type of relationship in the sense that it’s honest and uncomplicated, that it is exactly what it appears to be at face value. their personalities are fully out there with no attempt at reining anything in. Katsuki witnesses the full force of Izuku’s boundless hero-worshipping energy and enthusiasm. Izuku witnesses the full extent of Katsuki’s relentless confidence and Peter Pan cockiness. both boys see each other for who they are in their entirety, and accept each other. this is a fundamental bond. there is trust built between the two of them at a critical, formative age. it’s a relationship formed so early on that it’s likely that neither of them can actually recall a time before they met the other. they are and have always been a constant in each other’s lives. they’re a lot like siblings in terms of that kind of closeness and complete understanding of the other, both the good and the bad. in fact I’d say that Izuku’s use of “Kacchan” (and Katsuki’s automatic acceptance of it) isn’t that different from a younger brother’s use of “Niisan” for his older brother. it’s very revealing of the type of relationship they have. and that includes the typical sibling squabbles as well. it’s very much a relationship that’s taken for granted; there’s no filter, no effort to hold back, no attempt at trying to tone down their behavior around one another. there is whining and bragging and squabbling and name-calling and tears, just as much as there is cooperation and respect and trust. because at the end of the day, the assumption is that the relationship will endure no matter what, so they can go at each other as hard as they can and it doesn’t matter. the other one’s presence is just a given. that’s the kind of relationship that this term “childhood friends” really encapsulates, I think.
The sudden change of their statuses when the quirks start to manifest is a major factor that placed them on opposite sides of the social hierarchy, and conditioned the way society and their peers would treat them. But despite this and the misunderstandings that happen between them and the falling apart of their relationship, the subconscious understanding between them remains intact through the years. They always flashback to their earlier memories. They probably didn't interact much in elementary or middle school, and even if they did, they interactions were already tainted by their social status and Bakugo’s hostility. They don't share their innermost feelings with anyone but each other. Like when Deku gets angry or determined to win and to surpass him, or when Bakugo screams and cries out his emotional turmoil at Deku. According to Japanese social rules those are selfish things to do. This relates to the concepts of honne and tatemae.
Japanese society is more regimented than one might believe just from watching anime. By middle school age, and even to some degree in primary school, children are expected to interact with their peers in a relatively professional way. This is especially true of relationships between students of opposite sexes. Such requirements aren't held for family or close friends, but for everyone else one is expected to be polite and not share their true feelings or say things too directly. This concept of dividing people into an in-group and an out-group (内外, uchi-soto) is somewhat hard for non-Japanese people to understand, but is central to interactions between people in Japanese culture. In fact, you can find plenty of examples of this and of the related concepts of honne and tatemae in anime if you look, but if you aren't looking for them specifically it's easy to miss. (source)
So, for example, you shouldn't show your true feelings/thoughts to other people, even more if they aren’t socially acceptable, because that may disturb the peace in the community. But because Deku and Kacchan are osananajimi that have known each other their whole life, that doesn't apply to them. By stating from the very beginning that Kacchan was Deku's childhood friend, Hori put them in a close relationship with each other with a level of intimacy, trust and a subconscious understanding not like any other. Kacchan is, in fact, closer to him than All Might himself.
Like, Deku has been calling Bakugo by his childhood nickname, Kacchan ("Ka[tsu]" from Katsuki + "-chan", which is usually used to address children or females in an affectionate way), even past the age he was excepted it to drop it. When they were 4 years old, the other kids called him "Kacchan" too, but growing up it would be seen as childish or disrespectful so they start to call him "Katsuki" or "Bakugo". This puts a level of distance between him and his peers that, regardless of what happened between them, didn't extend to Deku and Katsuki. And it had to cross Deku's mind at some point ( "Should I start calling him Katsuki/Bakugo too?") but he didn't or simply couldn't. Despite everything, he wasn't willing to put even more distance between himself and Bakugo. He deliberately refused to put formal distance between them, and more importantly, Bakugo just LET THAT BE.
___
Like, this was a great set up from the beginning for me. I knew there was a story there from the first episodes, and then "Deku vs Kacchan 1" happened, showing their childhood flashbacks and the misunderstandings that would persist until DvK2, and i was really into that lol They relationship was one of the main reasons I followed the manga.
i mean LOOK at THIS!
how i could NOT ship it i mean come on
Even their color schemes complement each other, and their costumes have the same/similar colors. they are are complementary opposites that share the same core: to become a hero, their admiration of All Might. Each of them has a quality the other lacks and needs to work on to become the heroes: heroes that win and save, as All Might put it. Selflessness and Selfishness: to help and save others, in one side, and to care for one's personal victory, in the other. Bakugo was obsessed with victory and glory, and Deku was willing to do anything to save others, to the point of self-destruction. These isolated qualities didn't made them good heroes, but combined, as the two learn them from each other, by the end of the story they really become two of the greatest heroes.
This connects with their rivalry, which is richer than any other in the manga because of the many layers to their relationship: they are obsessed with each other, want to compete with each other (for the rest of their lives!!!) and don't want the other to fall behind, specially after their misunderstandings are resolved. They also don't want to be left behind by the other. Because they love each other too much! Whether people interpret it as platonic or romantic or whatever in between (secret third they are like like four different types of greek love categories combined), they are each other's More Important Person outside of family members. Hell, Kacchan getting hurt is basically Deku's berserk button: he punches All Might in the face to save Katsuki during the end of term exam; he goes crazy protective and possessive when Katsuki gets kidnapped by the League of villains(Mr. Compress even calls him out lmao)
he goes crazy when Katsuki is hurt in front of him
and when he thought katsuki had died...
i mean. look at this romantic shit.
_
lol and i feel like i'm leaving many other stuff behind, like Bakugo's apology, and all the little moments after DvK, and all the times in the last arc where Bakugo was thinking about Izuku constantly, and the finale where Katsuki cried because Deku had given up OFA and was going to be quirkless again, and the fact that he was at the heart of the mecha suit years-long project because he wanted Izuku's dream, their dreams, to come true. but tbh I only read them the one time and need to reread the whole manga again to refresh my knowledge. and i already shipped them before all this haha.
they are amazing characters in a really well done shonen manga they have a beautiful story 🧡💚
#aaaaaah finally i've been thinking about this all week#and i don't think i've said everything i wanted to say lol but my thoughts are too disorganized#if you want to talk about it more you can DM me :D#i was proudly with the club of people shipping them before it was cool and stopped being controversial#the issue with the bad fan translations made things look worse than they were in the beginning#and like that set the tone in the fandom for a looooong time until DvK2 and beyond i think#bnha#bakudeku#bkdk#zykamiliah-bnha#dekubaku#katsudeku#ask zy#dkbk#deku and kacchan#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#deku & kacchan
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It's quite funny having followed you for years and years and knowing Machete as his dark, bloodied, cunning (and always on the edge of getting horribly murdered for his hubris) incarnation, and coming into 2024 and just... yeah he's gay now. Maybe he's even happy. Redemption at last... perhaps he DID get assassinated indeed and all those AUs are just his personal afterlife (does he get to go to Heaven? Seems so!)
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#redemption at last#personally I've always known he isn't as cool and cunning as he pretends to be#but when he didn't have anyone to interact with the dorkier more humane side never surfaced#the art I made of him was overwhelmingly serious and angry and sad and portrayed him in a more mysterious light#I didn't really talk about him or answer asks about what his deal is#(or any of my characters for that matter for years I just didn't feel comfortable opening up about them)#which is fine on it's own but I think he's currently benefitting from having a wider spectrum of emotions to choose from#doesn't mean that the dark bloodied cunning version is outdated I think these are traits that can coexist in a single character#answered#anonymous#but in a way seeing that he can be happy caring and genuine and gets tummy aches and likes snails and fresh bread#and has a small handful of loved ones and these positive qualities you might've not known about before#makes the misery more potent when they are taken away from him#at least in my opinion
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'cause I am yours and you are mine, I'll never let you go
#ts4#simblr#ts4 edit#ts4 render#sims 4#blood tw#myedits#mb#red#teeth#i have not posted the actual monster boyz since november. november!!!!#did you guys miss them. i missed them#i have not worked on their story at all since the cricket post#i have GOT to get to work on the origin stories. oh well. i'll get to it when i get to it lol#n e way i finally remembered to put red's good eye to the camera lol#whenever i make edits i put red on the other side w/out thinking & all you can see is his blind eye#which is fine except it's near impossible to tell where he is looking which is usually important in my edits#he isn't totally totally blind in that eye. like. he can see shadows & light but it's definitely not clear#i actually just realized i don't think i've ever talked about his blindness before#there is a reason he is blind in that eye but it's a bit complicated. it has to do w his life before the apocalypse#the way mutations work in this universe is a bit weird & hard to explain. like there are several factors that determine one's mutations#for red it's mostly based on his trauma & his psychological state during the time of his mutation#his mutations manifest both physically & emotionally#teeth's are mostly physical bc he yk. got the shit beat out of him before he died. but!#becoming a monster also amplified all of his worst traits! like anger. impulsiveness. violent tendencies. he's basically always starving bc#those feelings act almost like a hunger for him. he craves intensity#cricket's is more complicated bc he is not a full monster. his are almost entirely psychological aside from his arm/bits of their face#& he's able to retain most of his human self up until the end#theirs are trauma based like red's but in a different way. it's more a combination of his anxiety & fears rather than lived trauma#if that makes sense. i'm not very articulate about this stuff sorry lol
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I know you don't like discussing the muses but i love your takes and perspectives and i had to ask you about this. after listening to ttpd, did you have the impression that she really loved matty more than any of her exes/previous relationships?. And listening to the whole album as a whole would you call it the ''matty album'' or do you think there are more prominent themes in there than their period together?. (hope this doesn't bother you, feel free to delete if you don't feel like answering it)
hey anon! You're right, I don't really like to get into the muses as I don't really think there's anything to add to the conversation at this point, and ultimately I don't think it matters.
That being said, and with the caveat that I am not Taylor and I do not know Taylor so I cannot speak to her thoughts and can only make relatively educated guesses based on being an avid consumer of her work and a student of the human condition (lol), no I do not think Taylor loved Matty more than anyone else. I think there was maybe a brief period in the thick of things where she *thought* she did because she was not thinking clearly and was in full-on denial, but to me the message that is loud and clear in the album (and more or less explicitly stated in the epilogue) is that it was not any kind of real love affair. It was certainly infatuation and lust and the promise of something more, and there may have been some love as well, but he was in no way the love of her life by any measure.
I would call it a "Matty album" insofar as they're about events in which he was present, sure. But I feel it much more as a Taylor album, if that makes sense, even though I know that's a cop out because every album is to a degree. I can't explain it well, but I don't see TTPD as a Matty (or Joe) album in the way that I would maybe say Red is a "Jake" album or 1989 may be a "Harry" album or even Lover being a "Joe" album whatever, because even if they don't figure in all the songs, that kind of heartbreak permeates so much of the material.
The thing about TTPD and the Matty situation is that the Matty situation is really a Joe situation (which in some ways is actually partially a Jake situation). I always say I hate treating Taylor like a character so I hate speaking about her and her work in this way, but you don't get the Matty situation without the Joe situation precipitating it. It's @taylortruther's now-infamous donut vs. hole analogy. The reason Taylor makes the choices she does with Matty is directly tied to what happened with Joe that made her feel she needed to. Which is not to say Taylor isn't responsible for her own actions or doesn't have agency in her own life, but I mean it in that the situation in which she found herself with Joe, and the pain it caused, is what made the alternative so comforting and perhaps even necessary in her mind. It's why it makes it so hard to "paternity test" the album, because the stories are inherently intertwined and you don't get the former without the latter.
The major "theme" of the album to me is the loss of a very specific, very personal dream, and the way in which she lost it, and the way in which grieving that loss drove her to make the choices she did. We're all talking very delicately about it because it's a sensitive topic, but it's late on Friday and few people are going to see this, so I'm going to say it: it's the give you my wild, give you a child of it all. The yearning she expresses both overtly and sub-textually for having a family in the album is palpable in a very iykyk kind of way, and it's the realization that those plans are not going to come to fruition in the way she had once imagined that drives a lot of the pain she experiences, and makes her jump at the chance to find that again with someone else.
I started a draft post about the theme of womanhood and motherhood on TTPD three months ago that I never finished because I ran out of time and ran out of steam, but it was the most striking thing to me on the album, not because I didn't know that she wanted those things because that's been obvious for years (definitely since Lover, and again, peace put it all on the table), but because the vulnerability she expressed about it on the album is incredibly moving, and it's so generous of her to trust listeners with those feelings and experiences.
Again, it's the thirtysomething of it all.
She is in relationship A which she at one point believes is forever, one which she at one point believes is going to lead to marriage and children. She is so committed to that dream that she either ignores or tries to fix serious issues that may otherwise lead others to think the two people in the relationship are incompatible, both because she loves the person deeply and because she feels that this is meant to be the way she achieves that dream. She gives it her everything, and it still dies a slow, painful, onerous death, and she feels like it may take her along with it. The dream of getting married and presumably having a family gets taken off the table: how we don't know and will likely never know because that is private between the parties involved. All that matters in the context of the album is that those plans never come to fruition and never would.
Then you have relationship B, an old flame who knows just enough buttons to push both to trigger and to flatter. A person who she presumably trusts with very sensitive, personal information as her life slowly crumbles, and this person is telling her all the things she wants to hear because he knows about what is happening in relationship A because she's told him. Person in relationship B doesn't get an "in" with her and sell her this dream unless what happens in relationship A precedes it. It's not a grand love affair for the ages, it's not a mutual decision on building their own dream together. It's Person B learning about what is happening with Person A and saying "I can do that!" even if he can't or doesn't. The dream he sells her is a rental car; it's not his own, he's just borrowing it from someone else and selling it back to her.
And the reason she falls for it is because it is what she aches for the most in her personal life, and she is grappling with it disintegrating, so she (unfortunately for her) falls for the easy way out, and in turn sells herself a story about how this must be fated, and this must be meant to be, because this person wants all the same things she does and she didn't even have to bargain for it! Well, yes, because she fed him the dream in the first place. (Like a mark falling for a sleeper cell spy.) It's too good to be true because it isn't true. IMO Person B doesn't come running out of the gate with the marriage/baby/dream life promises unless he knows that is what she most desires. But what's left unsaid out of all of it is that: those dreams were her dreams because they were her dreams with Person A. It was a whole life they had together, and a whole life they had planned for in some fashion, and a whole life that has to be dismantled in the aftermath.
So all this to say, yes, on the surface, Matty is a "main character" on the album, but truly he's a side character to Taylor as the narrator and person experiencing it and Joe as the ghost bit-player-who-haunts-every-scene. (Again, I hate referring to real people as characters, it gives me the absolute ick, but in this case it's the only way to answer the question.) I jokingly call it the Matty album for shorthand or when I want to say something out of pocket, but really, it's a disservice to the album to say that because it's not a muse album as in it's about the romance (like, say, Red often is), it's about a soul-crushing heartbreak that goes beyond it. The romance is the symptom, not the cause.
The loss of youth is tied in with all this: she's not 22 anymore. She isn't even 32 anymore. She had a very specific idea of what her life was going to look like at this point and had planned for that life, and it goes up in smoke. But again, to bring the womanhood into it all: there is, unfortunately, a deadline for these things. You're with someone for over half a decade you think is going to be your life partner and father of your children and and then he's not. You spent half a decade building this relationship for it to crumble, but now you're in your mid-30s and you don't necessarily have another half-decade to build that trust and faith in someone else before being ready to start a family. And maybe you're scared that anyone else who may become your partner will need that much time to build that trust and faith, because that's kind of all you've ever know in relationships. But lo and behold, someone comes into your life you once had feelings for and maybe now do again and is offering you everything you want and thought you'd have by this point in your life right now. It feels like an elixir that as we find out is actually poison.
That youth is not just the chance for motherhood, but it's also the hopes and idealism and belief in the future that often gradually erodes as we age. But for Taylor as well, it's also tied into the trauma of what she went through particularly in 2016, which kicks off a lot of things on the album as well (her retreat, her relationship with Joe, the pivoting in her career, etc.). That event caused a pretty clear before/after in her life (like a few other events, I suspect), and another major theme in the album is her finally grappling with the full weight of that. They're all different branches of the same tree of the story of TTPD and her life.
I could talk about this stuff forever, but I'm going to stop here because it's long enough and I should save stuff for one of the dozens of drafts I have half-baked lol. But this is just something I needed to get off my chest perhaps.
#Anonymous#the tortured poets department#again I am trying to be very sensitive in this#and am trying not to project or speculate too much on main#which is why I'm... cutting it off here#but it's just... there are very specific Things in TTPD and Things in general that you can pick up on in the last few albums#and we don't talk about them in public for good reason#but I think it's also sad that we can't speak generally about these very common experiences for women#because as I've said before I have SEVERAL friends who have gone through similar situations in their 30s#it's just-- all our friends smell like weed or little babies idk#it's tied in to society and expectations and pressures and desires and conflicting signals and--#ANYWAY#writing letters addressed to the fire#Pouring out my heart to a stranger but I didn't pour the whiskey#cause I know that it's delicate#<- new tag for ~sensitive~ things if I can remember to use it
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missing them
#my candy love#mcl armin#mcl lysander#people i'm forever going to miss them so so so so much omg#and not to be mean or anything because it's makes me sad too but i think that if there's like cameos of the OG characters#like they are probably going to be mainly Cas and mayyyyyyyybe Nath ig. maybe priya girliepop idk (i'm talking about LIs)#so i don't have the hope of seeing the loml in NG and of course they are not obligated to include them but. yk.#those two are the reason i'm in the fandom in the first place. every time i think about mcl i think about them#and i'm going to say it (i think i've said it before): i love the ep 3 thomas illu the most because i feel like it's soooo lysander route#also ep 2 thomas? armin route. people-#mcl high school life you'll forever be famous to me even if you are more than a decade old. idc ilysm.
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Phone games
#i miss them. :(#ok so the thing is with drawing B is that he never looks like himself until I draw his glasses#so I keep worrying abt if I've fucked up until I add them and he IMMEDIATELY looks like himself#I could talk about how Lisa and Enoch kinda parallel B and A if you squint a lil but I think thats kinda a stretch#was mostly going off of the fact B and L are both trying to keep up with someone occupied with the future#that dies before them and also how if u invert L and E's eye colours you get a green n a yellow-y colour#but I am grabbing at dust with it really#also new brush test again. I am anything but consistant#hey since both B and A have a really similar sprite pose does that mean he's trying to imitate him a lil?#also what should Lisa/Tiph's emoji be? I like to put character emojis together whenever I draw them interacting#maybe a bow?#eh sure. I can change it later#stars are B/H btw#🎀🌠#normal tag time:#art#k draws art stuff#original art#digital art#fanart#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#benjamin lobcorp#lisa lobcorp
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i liked how this scene explicitly acknowledged how tiny randall really is
#like i've thought it and i'm sure other people have too but i found it funny that they finally acknowledge it out loud#he was def underestimated by his size you know he worked damn hard to build his reputation as a top scarer#if mike was not in scaring 101 you think the other students would've underestimated randall instead#randall boggs#monsters at work#monsters inc#monsters university#maw#maw season 2#monsters at work season 2#if it feels like im posting my maw stuff at weird intrevals its bc i have a bunch of drafts that i post every so often out of order#idk i feel like some of them make it sound like i just finished the show yesterday#im trying to space them out but i wanna get them all posted before people stop talking about monsters inc :(
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something that makes me sad is when people tell me the healthy communication in my writing is "unrealistic."
like guys this is how me and my partner talk with eachother... I'm writing from personal experience...
#like it's sad both on the front of 'dehumanizing my real life'#but also on the front of 'you deserve to have healthy communication in your life'#like if you think this is unrealistic it means more than likely you havent experienced someone being patient and understanding with you#and that makes me very very sad#I'm sorry#also it's just rude to tell me my writing is unrealistic LOL like hey#real people talk all kinds of ways. shut up#I've been told it's also in part cause they always understand their own feelings when theyre talking#but I'm like...#theyre like mid 30-early 40 and theyre immortal and theyre going through a lot of shit#I feel like theyve thought about it a lot#also the comic takes place over the course of a year so far#we're seeing the big moments and the fun mysteries#so#its about grown men who love eachother#sorry that they think about what they want to say before they say it#also as if adam isnt constantly wrong and steve isnt constantly pushing shit down#he's only JUST RECENTLY starting to share his emotions as they come up#instead of pretending theyre not there and letting things boil over#I think people just THINK theyre communicating way too clearly because their partner#who loves them#is listening and responding with kindness#like..#idk I have a lot of thoughts about this#would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE for this to spark a discussion#and especially for it to cause people to reread a little more critically#and perhaps even introspect on their own ideas of communication standards#I've been with my partner for 10 years. this is how we talk to eachother
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The Third Traffic SMP Jimmy Slash Prediction Poll!!!
(Note: In the previous polls I don't think I filtered the fic numbers, but I don't remember.)
Martyn obviously married Jimmy last time, so he's out. I eliminated Scar and Skizz this time based on “have more than ten full length fics mostly about their ship”. Which, y’all called, they were the top three for winner for the Secret Life poll!
How the fellas performed on ao3 after the Secret Life poll last year:
Absolute Winner: Martyn
A-tier: Scar and Skizz (I will be haunted by the "Pretty Woman" rp for the rest of my life)
B-tier: Impulse
C-tier: Etho, Ren, Mumbo, BigB
F-tier: Bdubs
And heading back to the Limited Life poll:
(in case you haven't heard, either Gem Impulse Grian and Jimmy are hinting the next season is recording next week, or they are sadists, and not in a fun way.)
Reminder: Jimmy gets gay married in odd numbered seasons and is in a gang of schoolyard hooligans in even seasons!
#And by reminder#I mean... remind him?#i don't know#gosh i'm desperate for this#if ANYONE is missing i'll be upset#i personally would love for more and more people to keep joining#the only two people i have watch talk about wanting to join in a serious way are False and Oli#and now that jimmy's not the canary it would be amazing to bring oli in#he even said he'd hire an editor for specifically this#cause it would just be a couple hours footage and he wouldn't be making musical numbers#or would he?#this was back before secret life i think#anyway#he and grian spent a week skiing together#who knows what happened#there's actually a VERY cute picture of them on a ski lift or something#okay you add false and you add oli and they average out to a reasonable player#so you make them wear a best friends tshirt and stick together all the times#or like oli on a leash#i think i've seen them in the same group picture#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#trafficshipping#trafficshipblr#traffic shipping#shipping#mcyt shipping
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