#i've been really focused on my irl and it's been nice!!

[aastarions]

updated my pinned to reflect my writing hiatus cause i'm pretty sure it's why most people follow me but i don't know if or when i'll post writing on tumblr again

might go back to where if i do write something (which i'm not anticipating anytime soon) i just post it on ao3 but we'll see

[chaysreality222]

‧₊˚ ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.✧˖ °

. ۫ ꣑ৎ . 𝐈 𝐒𝓗𝐈𝐅𝓣𝐄𝐃 𝓑𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝓞 𝓐𝐍 𝓤𝐍𝓚𝐍𝓞𝐖𝐍 𝓡𝐄𝐀𝓛𝐈𝐓𝓨 . ۫ ꣑ৎ .

i'm beyond happy to be making a post like this. as you can tell by the title, I'VE SHIFTED! but the catch is i shifted to some unknown reality. still extremely proud of myself and happy, but there's just an ounce of disappointment that it wasn't one of my scripted drs. i've been waiting to tell you guys about it, so let's get into it!

the night of june 24th, 2024, i had chose to take the night off from attempting to shift and just sleep because the previous night i had already attempted to shift through my lucid dream. i fell asleep on accident and woke up at least once, and then fell back asleep.

i fell into a dream where something personal had happened where it caused me to be really sad. to set the setting, it was extremely late at night and i had been coming home. i needed to shower especially to get my mind off things. i checked my phone that was on the bathroom counter before my shower and it switched from 1:30 something am to 3:33 am.

This is when i became lucid. tmi my armpits were extremely unkept. (i feel like this was my dream showing me an insecurity of mine bc i had just waxed and was afraid of the hair growing back weird omg. but after i had stopped feeling insecure and told myself that it's just a dream and it's not like that irl, it went back to normal).

after that moment was passed, i was so exhausted and as i was showering i decided to sit down for a second on the ground of the tub. i was so tired and sad that in my mind i was thinking about how i wanted to just shift so badly. didn't matter what reality it was, i just needed it at that moment.

i laid my head back on the wall of the tub, then my eyes started to drift closed. i started to experience shifting symptoms from inside the lucid dream. there was flashing lights i saw through my eyelids, i felt a sense of floating, numbness accompanied by tingles down my body, and the room felt like it was spinning.

i naturally had woken up. (i'd say i just opened my eyes but it felt like i had woken up like any other time i've ever woken up in my original reality). i noticed i shifted! i didn't even question it, because i didn't have to. just as we are right now, wherever you are reading this, that's how real and natural everything was. you know for a fact you aren't dreaming right now, this is reality. that's the closest way of how i could explain how i knew i shifted.

my surroundings hadn't changed though. it was still the same bathroom setting like i had been in like that dream which i found to be an exact replica of my original reality (or) bathroom. the lights were off but candles had been placed around the bathroom to create this peaceful ambience. it was really nice. i felt the hot water running down my skin as it hit the top of my head, as well as the steam. i could also feel the tiles of the wall and the tub beneath my bare feet.

i also didn't feel the immense sadness and heaviness i was experiencing in my dream anymore. you know when you woke up from being scared or sad in the dream, and you feel a sense of relief because it wasn't real? that's the feeling i had been feeling but also happiness and curiosity from me shifting.

as i was just standing in the water and taking it all in, that's when the ounce of disappointment hit me that i shifted to some place but my actual scripted drs. in which i understand you can shift to unscripted places, but you guys get what i'm saying. i guess it's my fault for not focusing on any of my drs and instead hoping for any reality possible. (please don't take the disappointment i had felt to any offense! i'm extremely happy i shifted, just wish it was to my waiting room dr, etc). but hey, i shifted and that is what matters!

then i decided to shift back! i had no reason of staying there any longer and a part of me didn't want to get out of the shower and open that bathroom door. since it was a random reality, i didn't want to mess around and find out.

i was ready to go back to my or! and even though i had been thinking about my or, i didn't just shift back like i always thought i would or was always afraid of happening when i had shifted to say my hogwarts dr. it was just like every other thought i've had about my drs here! just because you or i think about our drs during the day here, doesn't mean we will just be pulled out of this reality and shifted over there. i hope i'm making sense, but i'm sure you guys understand what i'm saying.

anyway, i set the intention to shift back to my or and said my safeword as i closed my eyes. it's hard to explain but i could feel my consciousness shifting back to my or? then i had woken up back in my or! i checked the time and it was around 4 am on june 25, 2024. i believe i had been in my dr for a total of at least 8-10 minutes. i couldn't believe i had just shifted realities, but i was also dead tired. so i went back to sleep! but i have to say throughout that day, i was exhausted and still processing my shifting experience. so exhausted, i didn't really have the motivation to do much of anything.

first of all, thanks to those of you keeping up with my shifting journey and never failing to continue motivating me. it means a lot to be apart of this community of caring and helpful people <3 next stop is my waiting room dr! also a quick question to the experienced shifters out there, does dealing with the exhaustion after shifting get easier? thanks! as always, happy shifting!

xoxo, c!

[illustromic]

My thoughts on drawing wings (an unofficial tutorial)

Do you want to get better at drawing your favorite winged character? Do you have winged OCs? Just want to learn something new? I can't promise this post will help, but maybe it'll give you some helpful tips.

I know, I knowww, wing tutorials have been done to death. I don't care. This was initially inspired by a conversation on twitter, but actually I've wanted to write down my notes on the topic for a long time lol. Basically wings are one of my special interests so it's very important, for me, to draw them both nicely and also realistically.

On that note, let me first show you my resume *distant sound of floodgates opening*

Like what you see? Read on! (Oh, and I will only be covering feathered/avian wings bc those are the type I know best.)

Now, I'm not here to give you a step-by-step guide on wing anatomy and aerodynamics, because there are plenty of other resources that cover this already, and I'll list my faves at the end of the post. Right now, I'm going to give you some easy guidelines and tricks that I wish more artists knew.

1: Wings do, in fact, have bones (crazy, I know) and are actually very rigid because they have to support the weight of a living creature. There are some positions you cannot physically force a wing into irl.

2: Flight feathers are not placed willy-nilly on the wing, because then they wouldn't catch the air properly. Again, like the bones, they are rigid and strong, so don't draw them like fur or ribbons. All wings have the same pattern of feather placement, with slight variation depending on species. If you learn the feather sections, it will automatically improve your drawings a lot.

2.5: Feathers overlap each other like a handful of playing cards, and this looks different depending on which side of the wing you're drawing. They always do this unless they're extremely untidy.

3: The size of the wingspan is important if you're going for a more realistic design. There is no "scientifically accurate" measurement when it comes to fictional creatures, but my general rule is when in doubt, you probably need to make them bigger. Personally, for my original winged human species, I give them wings that can be up to 12 feet long each (the artistic sacrifice is that it's really hard to fit the wings on the dang page lmao, so make your own call).

4: Get used to drawing folded wings. Most of the time, birds keep their wings folded because it prevents them from getting damaged and it conserves energy. The trick is to get good at visualizing how the joints bend and overlap (look at plenty of photos!) In general, they can fold much tighter than you think.

5: Wings and feathers take a lot of patience to draw, but the results are worth it. I've seen so so many incredibly beautiful and skillful artworks that are---well, maybe not ruined, but still negatively affected by a pair of wings that look like an afterthought, or not even like wings at all. You have no idea how much a little extra time and practice will add to your work until you see for yourself.

Finally, some notes on "stylized" wings: Of course it's perfectly ok to draw more simplified/cartoony wings if that's your preference!! BUT there is a difference between a stylistic choice and a lack of effort/poor understanding of the subject matter. Even cartoonists have to learn the fundamentals of realism so they know how to make their designs logical and appealing. Here are some examples of more stylized wings that I feel retain the core principles of anatomy/aesthetics:

And last but not least: A list of helpful links I use personally for reference and inspiration!

I made this pinterest board for general artsy inspo, and this board to curate my very favorite tutorials/refs/information, focusing on the scientific aspect of wings and flight in general. Feel free to use both! (I also suggest pinterest in general for pose refs and such, but try to only practice using photos at first and not other drawings.)

I highly recommend this blog and this blog if you want examples of artists who draw more realism-based winged creatures!! They are both huge inspirations for me and I think you should totally follow them even if you don't plan to draw wings lol <3

If you're REALLY serious about it, my favorite ref books are: Winged Fantasy, a lovely drawing book by Brenda Lyons; Proctor & Lynch's Manual of Ornithology; and Angelus vincens by R. Spano, which is essentially an artbook by someone who (I believe) designed biologically plausible "angels" for their senior thesis.

Ok, idk how to end this lol but I hope it helped! I know it's not my normal kind of post but I'm super busy with college stuff rn and this was all I had time for. If you guys have any questions or feedback, please let me know!!!

-Aloe <3

[thatdeadaquarius]

I have recently come to the conclusion that if my Genshin Impact account was self aware, my Bennet would be slightly even more unlucky than a regular Bennet. This is due to my birthday and since its coming up I've been brainrotting for the past few days. Let me explain:

Bennet's birthday is February 29th, aka Leap Year. This means Benny only has a real birthday once every four years, which is bad enough. But according to canonical game lore, when he doesn't have his actual birthday, he celebrates it on the 28th.

My birthday is February 28th.

Now, I'd like to think that in your typical SAGAU the creator's birthday is a BIG DEAL. I'm talking festivals, parades, feasts, gifts exchanged between friends and family as well as gifts offered to the creator! The whole nine yards! An entire world partying from sunrise to moonset.

So with this in mind, Bennet's birthday would either be celebrated the day after the biggest holiday party in Teyvat (meaning everyone who attends would be all partied out) or during my birthday (meaning that everyone would be focused on ME instead of Bennet, which is just unfair! He can't even take pride in being born the same day as the creator b/c he was born the day after!!!!).

Anyway, if I was isekai'd to Genshin and worshipped as a god, I would simply give Bennet his own holiday. Poor kiddo deserves a win and if it takes me telling my acolytes quote, "Everyone will to celebrate Bennet's holiday. No exceptions, no excuses. And if his holiday party doesn't end up a success, I will destroy all of Teyvat and then myself. :3c" then so be it. That last statement is a joke, but watching everyone try their absolute hardest to give my adopted little brother the best birthday possible would be worth the fear of the vague threat of the world's destruction in the eyes of my worshipers me thinks.

If you add to this brainrot, please feel free to ignore that last part if everyone panicking over the possibility of apocalyptic destruction makes you uncomfortable. Likewise, don't rush this out by my birthday if you don't have time. I'm also in college and have multiple assignments due both before and after my birthday so I know this upcoming week will be hellish in terms of academics. So don't push yourself, okay?

So yeah. Thanks for reading! Hope you have a nice day!

JOKES ON YOU IM DOIN THIS FIRST BC ITS NEAR UR BIRTH WHEN I SAW THIS - HAHAHA (also timezones r wack so hope i timed it good enough for u lmao)

HOPE ALL UR ASSIGNMENTS VANISH / R SUPER EASY AND TAKE NO TIME AT ALL TO DO SO U HAVE MORE FREE TIME TO READ MY BIRTHDAY GIFT TO YOU ANON <3

Have a pretty miku hatsune gif <3

YEAH SO U ENTERED UR BDAY INTO GENSHIN U KNOW THAT RIGHT??

WELL SINCE THAT WAS THE BASICS OF THE GAME/AT THE START-

TEYVAT HAS KNOWN YOUR BIRTHDAY AS LONG AS LIFE HAS LIVED ON TEYVET LOL

◇

So if it's your birthday and you have been isekaied to Teyvat in time for it,

or been there for that long bc how does one un-isekai themselves?? anyway

and its like,, pandemonium.

bc idealistically u surprise these bitches around/close to ur birthday, so everyone's gettin in that festival mood and then BAM- itd be like if the spirits/demons showed up irl for Halloween randomly one year, like- ???!!!

so everyone's just

"well we usually have a lot of fun/praise the highest being anyway, hoping they'll hear us thru whatever barrier's between us (coughstupidcomputercough), but now... we've got to go harder than any century before guys, they're actually here, nobody panic, this isn't a drill- somebody fucking grab the champagne- "

◇

So for a second, imagine the sweetest anyone has ever been to you.

now imagine another person does something just as sweet for you, now add another, now add another, now add-

yeah i hope u got a hoddie so u can go to sweatertown when u get too embarassed/shy, bc the compliments??

"I really like your voice btw, this may sound strange but it was always so comforting pulling those all nighter for another akademiya project, and just hearing you joking around or humming, what felt like only for me or to keep me company ;) " - Lisa

"I hope you don't mind me doing this, as I wasn't trying to invade you privacy when I came upon this knowledge, but I thought it would make a useful gift. I know you were frustrated when you came here that there wasn't as much cosmetics so I used alchemy to aid your cause, this is some color changing nail polish-"

-Albedo has gotten u ur exact foundation shade, concealer, a skin clearing serum that works 100x better than any skincare routine u had going/or not lol, and if you dont really wear makeup or do skin care, he has a backup of all ur fav perfumes/colognes that u wish u had in ur old world (he heard u ranting abt wanting those scents/stuff u liked like cherries or sandalwood etc.)

◇

bc even if ur not the type to feel that way when ppl do things like that for u, i promise u will be by the end of your birthday week.

everyone in teyvat wants your first in person birthday to be perfect,

ESPECIALLY the allogenes, or the playable characters

doesn't even matter if your FTP and dont have a single character outside of the beginners,

(they all had access to things like your voice, your actions, your social media, yae miko may or may not have personally printed off enough copies of a book full of any selfies/pics with you in it to reach every corner of teyvat ahem, she means what- nothing at all my beautiful god-)

anyway that is to say, your birthday month is generally really bountiful, both in festivals and teyvat itself, regardless if its dead winter or scorching summer

◇

but for the sake of ANON'S BIRTHDAY-

You have now been forcibly converted into a Pisces - gasp - from this moment on,

ik tragic im an aquarius 😔,

Bc this is anon's Teyvat rn and we're just living in it

(genshincharactersaboutyoubelike-)

◇

You don't know which authority figure to thank first for helping organize your week so you can go to a different city's festival for you every day of your bday week, it must have been hell to make 💀

(rip ningguang alhaitham jean and ayaka/ayato yall will be missed 💧🙏)

U kind of worked ur way backwards actually from game release country's dates, like Sumeru, Inazuma, Liyue, Mondstadt

Bc when they asked if u had a preference u whole heartedly spoke up in front of a room full of arguably the most influential and powerful people on the continent, in the world really- well besides you-

"Mondstadt would be a great festival to have on my actual birthday! After all one of my best boys Bennett, also has his birthday that day too!" :)

...

.....somewhere in the Wolvendom wilds Bennett shivers with a bolt of anxiety,

Razor is confused and asks if he's ok, he gives a shaky thumbs up,

"yeah i just... got the scariest feeling.. like something bad's gonna happen on my birthday this week... haha probably nothing!... probably..."

◇

So everyone's been pretty chill and happy for Benny to be so favored/spoiled by you, esp since ur sharing ur bday (most ppl think ur a saint bc of this)

But for some pretentious assholes, who think traditions should be adhered to, they kinda dont even like the stuff ur changing-

"Oh well, if you don't just celebrate Benett's birthday with mine, and really anyone else who's bday is also mine, I'll just ruin your country ;) "

...

Some ppl get ur joking, like alhaitham would never believe u,

But these poor old fools, coughsagescough,

R just like-

"...an eldritch god is angry with us."

Needless to say u get ur way,

And poor Benny is just like, shaking in the corner, he can't tell if this is more unlucky or the luckiest he's been lol

(He's also one of the allogenes who did not rlly get ur joke lmao,,, also Itto💀)

◇

If your somehow not overhwhlemed by gifts and acts of service on ur birthday,

Benny is.

Benny is for you.

Lol, he's like gonna make himself sick bc he cant just say "No thanks" to all the ppl giving you food, but end up giving him some too by proxy

He cant even count how many candies and baked goods are weighing down his pockets

Oh did i mention you've just like, linked arms with the little guy and dragged him wherever Mond's citizens r dragging you for the birthday festivities :)

◇

While he was mostly just in shock all day, Benny does take the time to tear up and thank you for sharing your birthday*

(*both of your birthdays, u correct him all day)

Jean, Barabra, Diluc, Kaeya, Amber, Traveler, Razor Sucrose Fischl and Klee (and Varka + older adventurers/his dads)

are all super happy to finally see the poor kid get the biggest break ever for his birthday finally

Esp after they saw the last few... yknow... non-existant ones... bc he only has a bday every 4 years lol

◇

Nearly starts sobbing publicly when u give him a present for his bday too :')

And after you all do a big toast for an evening bday dinner, u hug him and he actually cries a little, and he squeezes u back super hard

"I always thought I was too unlucky to get a birthday like this, but I guess if even a god like you hasn't given up on me, I shouldn't give up on me either, thank you for the best birthday I've ever had Your Majesty!"

:')

♡

(Tho Klee did sneakily give u and him some of her best and brightest bombs as a bday gift, so he did get a little singed but he barely noticed lmao)

♡

I hope my ass writing/ideas was a decent bday gift anon! :0

I love Pisces sm, i hope ur bday was/will be incredible anon!! :) <33

Safe Travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

Chicken Bones

First posted: October 2, 2019

Focuses on: Bruce Wayne & Jason Todd

Favorite bookmark: "Jason technically has a panic attack and runs away from dinner" I mean... yes? I guess?

Tier: In top 20 for hits, middle of the pack for everything else

This is my “behind the scenes” series where I indulge myself horribly by annotating my fics. Link to the fic itself above. Thoughts below the cut.

Not to be weird about it, but I feel like I have... I don't know, eras? Not eras, because I haven't been writing enough for that, but I do have groupings or pockets of fics that come out together that I just really, really like. This is the start of one of them.

Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, that might just be Whumptober. Whoops.

This fic started, really, with me mulling over the fact that Jason Todd murdered people. He hunted people down, trapped them, killed them, and cut off their heads. Comic violence is different from IRL violence in its flamboyance, I know, but that's SUCH a big thing. And comics and fics tend to come at it from the POV of it being a point of strife between Bruce and Jason as a point of principle rather than dealing with the practical ramifications, but I wanted to get into—if you'll forgive the pun—meat of the issue.

“Peace does not come before salvation, and salvation does not come without truth.”—Ekemeni Uwan

This is, as far as I can recall, the only time I've pretentiously opened a fic with a quote, but it was stuck in my head the entire time I was writing. It's from the opening to a song called "Facts" by Lecrae. So he was being pretentious first, really.

His life back in Gotham would never be fully settled. There were still cracks in the sediment, lingering fissures from upheavals both inflicted upon him and created by him, and the ground would never be wholly at rest. . . . But Jason liked to think he had learn to find the rhythm amongst the turmoil. He might not be able to prevent the earth from coming unmoored, but he could learn to anticipate the trembles before they arrived.

I have no idea where the earthquake metaphor came from. It worked, though. And came in handy later. But also I really like the idea of Jason working through lingering issues but being prepared to deal with them as they come? That's progress, baby! That's health!

It had been a good day, a good day at the end of a string of good days, a day that Jason had woken up happy to be in.

I think I felt a little bad about some of my previous Sad Jason fics. But also, psychologically, he needed the good days to make the sudden revelation snap into place.

He had cleaned in the morning, dust and hair and grime flying up in clouds before duster and broom and lost beneath cascades of soap bubbles.

I prefer Jason as a neat freak. I also absolutely pictured him scrubbing on his knees and singing to soap bubbles like Cinderella.

They were seated in the back dining room, the glass doors rolled aside to let the crisp autumn air filter into the little-used space.

Logistics, logistics, my head spins with logistics. I hate visualizing spatial things. This one was weirdly easy, though. I knew what was going to happen next needed SPACE, so it needed to be outside. But it was also a meal, so I needed a sort of in-between space. The nice thing about the Manor is it's very TARDIS-y. Just slap on an extra room. Unfold that pocket dimension.

Bruce had his collar unbuttoned to his sternum and sat with his elbows on the table, hands loosely clasped as he listened to his eldest.

Casual ho Bruce Wayne, ilu

The menu for the evening was a compromise between the butler’s exacting standards and the relaxed nature of an indoor picnic. The initial pitch for fried chicken had been rejected and replaced by individual Cornish hens for that classy Alfred touch. Plates were passed around, a hen per person (except for Damian, who was given a fruit salad), and enough sides to make Jason feel contentedly full just looking at them.

Again, logistics strike. I knew what the main course had to be for the story, roughly, but Alfred's not going to plunk down a store-bought rotisserie chicken on the table. I also more or less hew to the fanon of vegetarian Damian, so that was another obstacle. Have I mentioned that I don't cook? Food is a mystery. Rich people food is a mystery wrapped in an enigma. Why do I do this to myself.

Dick’s story reached its peak, the air around them bright with the bite of autumn and the wheeze of Bruce’s asthmatic goose laugh.

I can't remember where I picked up the idea that Bruce has a thoroughly unattractive real laugh—Audrey, probably. Everything I pick up and can't immediately attribute inevitably circles back to CEC. I like it an awful lot, though.

Jason passed the basket of rolls to his left, then took the leg of his hen and twisted. It was like a gunshot, like an explosion, like a death. He didn’t hear it so much as feel the snap of the toothpick-wide bone against his fingertips. It felt like an earthquake and he was shattering.

I am curious how many people forgot that the fic started with a warning and were lulled into happiness and contentment just like Jason.

Blunt fingers touched his wrist.

Bruce Wayne has square fingertips, I will die on this hill.

Bruce caught up with him yards deep into the lawn, in the empty space between the house and the ring of trees that separated the Manor from the rest of the lawn.

LOGISTICSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I'd already written about the exterior of the Manor in a few other fics so I had to keep those details AND figure out exactly where to place Bruce and Jason that would make sense both for them and for the family watching from the deck. I didn't want anyone else involved.

Also, note that Bruce booked it.

He wanted to keep running, to run and run and run until he passed the eastern edge of the world and drowned in the sun and the sweetwater.

Hello Narnia reference, specifically my favorite book in the entire series.

The others were watching from the house. He knew this without turning to look, could feel the pressure of their attention and concern like chains around his neck.

In my dreams, someone would draw this. Jason and Bruce in the forefront, crouched in autumn golds and reds, the rest of the family standing alert and alarmed on a raised brick patio.

Also, some part of the vibe of this backyard comes directly from my aunt's big house that we would visit before she got divorced. Not a thing about it is the same and yet, the vibes, the vibes.

Bruce was here and Bruce knew. Bruce had been there, had seen, had still invited Jason to his table. Jason whirled, reaching blindly for a hand he knew would be there.

This is part of what I was really eager to dig into, not only Jason remembering what he did and fighting to reconcile that resurfaced memory of who he was with who he is but also grappling with what that must meant for about about Bruce.

Even without knowing who was reaching, Bruce’s hand would always be there.

I don't remember writing that specific line and I want to time travel back just to high-five myself. EVEN WITHOUT KNOWING WHO WAS REACHING, BRUCE'S HAND WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE.

He had seen a video once of a beach as the water pulled out, sucked back by the tsunami building out at sea. While disaster gathered miles away, tourists had gathered to gape at stranded sea creatures, gasping on the newly exposed seabed. Jason felt like one of the fools stuck in the muck, wet sand squelching between his toes. Disaster was coming. It wasn’t here yet.

See, the earthquake metaphor in the beginning is coming back, Fukushima style. (Those kinds of videos freak me out, PLEASE be aware of what an impending tsunami looks like.)

He was on the lawn and then he was in the trees. Jason's voice had been building, rising higher and higher like the crest of a wave, like the crescendo, towering above and throwing the world into deep shadow. But Bruce was the impact, the force of the ocean crashing down on him. Bruce’s hands gripped his arms like iron bands, lifted him off his feet, and dragged him into the ring of trees.

I know I was mentally seeing a specific action segment from a movie when I wrote this because of how clearly I can see Bruce react and haul Jason bodily away. I just can't remember the movie now. Pity.

Jason knew he had blood on his hands. He knew what he had done. But he had forgotten how it had felt to hack through the vertebrae of another human being. How it had felt to plant his boot on a broad, lifeless back to get the purchase to sever the last few stringy tendons of flesh. How it had felt to chuck his prize into a waiting bag like a piece of rotten fruit.

Yeah, a little gruesome, but I wanted to treat comics violence as real violence for a minute. If I'm to treat these characters with realism and common sense, then fine, we're going to go all the way. Taking a life deliberately is a psychological hurdle most people cannot cross (thankfully), and decapitation is a huge step even beyond that. The actions Jason took were unnecessary, depraved, and evil. That was why he did them, for the shock value derived from breaking such innate taboos. He was never meant to be treated as right or justified in any way, and I am staring factions of the fandom dead in the eye when I say this.

“How can you stand to look at me?” Jason’s throat felt scraped raw and the question was little more than a rasp. Bruce shifted slightly, an inquiry without words. “I killed people, Bruce,” Jason said, voice cracking anew at the confession. “Not just killed. I decapitated them. And I liked it. How can you—how can any of you—“ “You are my son.”

something something mortifying ordeal of being known something something unconditional love not meaning excusing all because of love but persevering even through the inexcusable to labor to a place of reconciliation and redemption

“Do you still love Catherine?” Bruce asked.

I had zeeeeeero idea how I was going to dig myself out of this conversation or find an explanation that was satisfactory to me for how Bruce could be so steadfast without excusing or minimizing what Jason did, but then, tada. Yay brain.

“She made choices, Jay, and they weren’t always good. Some were very bad, and you paid the price for them. You both did. But her addiction was real, and it wasn’t an excuse, but it was a reason. And you still love her.”

Catch me also separating the deification of Catherine through Jason's eyes from objective reality.

Bruce’s thumb wiped the last lingering tear from Jason’s cheek. Jason huffed a broken laugh, embarrassed at last. “Thanks, B.” Bruce didn’t answer. His only acknowledgement was to pull his arm around Jason’s shoulders and guide them both toward the Manor where their family waited for their return.

w o w that last bit is a doozy since I wasn't even writing The Return yet and wouldn't know for AGES that the two fics were even connected. Huh.

Also, the secret tucked into the end note was something I knew while writing but couldn't figure out a way to work in (Bruce would NEVER tell Jason that and Jason can't know, from his own perspective), so it's just a little treat for readers now.

And lastly, this fic was originally published under the name "Chicken Leg" but that felt wrong and stupid so I changed it almost immediately.

[castlebyersafterdark]

I've been wanting to make my own list of fic recs for this side of the fandom. this is just a short little quick recollection. i love so many fics and writers - this micro-fandom is really talented. but these are my personal favorites:

i've never done this before, can you help me out? - I actually almost find it difficult to talk about this one? It's just so good. THE (infamous?) orgy fic, first off. And it's one of the sweetest, most romantic fics ever? So engaging. The characterizations, the sex scenes, the emotions, the depiction of that culture. Really good. But, there were some parts about Will's character that just, in admission of full vulnerability, really sat with me and felt familiar and it was almost too much! Even if my life is nothing like the lifestyle depicted here hahaha. Like. I got it. I understood him, in some ways. I only read this one sporadically as it updated, looking forward to sometime in the future sitting down to re-read it from beginning to end. This fic was also the push that made me decide to switch over to this side of the fandom and make a real account. Made me want to try writing again after half-assing it and neglecting my interest in fic writing❤️

time is a perception, love will cure depression - This one is actually Steve/Will and honestly - here for it. So hot. Will is VERY relatable here. It just feels authentic for a kid like Will coming into his own, understanding and acknowledging his desires. And the way Steve treats him with such care??? Oh, this fic is honestly everything to me. And it really captures the formative experience of lusting after some older guy in hot swimwear which is so niche to me but damn, this is it. I was so excited to find this little gem.

in the midnight hour - I have re-read this one about half a dozen times and honestly, I'll admit this specific fic inspired so much of how I tend to characterize Will and Mike just because they are PERFECT as to how I also view them. So many little moments just blew my mind. I have such a thing for trusting, loving, and intoxicated sex scenes in fiction and irl and this one is perfect perfect prefect for that kind of specific trope? It can be so caring and hot in the right context and this was just so good. Please read it for the first time or read it again! This was the other fic that made me want to try writing seriously again. Not only was it a really sexy story - it's just a lot of fun. Love that.

no lifeguard on duty - Cannot wait for this one to continue/finish but it's so good so far. I like the hyper-realism, the summer vibes. The whole scene with the bathing suit was soooooo interesting, I was reeling, I'm here for it. Anything that explores experimentation between these two pre-relationship is great, one of my favorite Byler tropes.

any semblance of touch - I'm weak for a good 'Mike and Will get high and it leads to them shotgunning and making out and grinding together' fic and I feel like I've read a few like this, but this one is A++ and sticks in my brain.

asking too much - I was hooked from the line "Not to be too graphic, but all I want is a nice, good-looking man who can fuck me hard" and I was obsessed the entire read. WILL you are so valid, babydoll. Love this fic a lot.

privacy - Another really interesting fic focusing on experimentation and all that lovely stuff. Mike is ridiculous in this and I'm obsessed with him and his gay little journey here as Will just absolutely loses his mind.

sexual healing - What can I say, always love a really well done 'classic porn set-up' fic, let's be honest hahaha. Masseuse/client??? All you needed to say. Fantastic.

my baby lives in shades of blue - Anything that depicts Mike and Will as super codependent and obsessed with each other is gold in my eyes. This one delivers. All the best things here. Slutty halloween costumes? Byler getting supremely handsy with each other? Clingy boyfriends? Accidental admission of kinks through dirty talk mid-fuck? Love it all.

There's a lot of other really good ones as well! These just stick in my mind. Love this fandom, everyone is so talented ❤️❤️❤️

[animatedjen]

Hi! So I am relatively new to the Jedi games but became so quickly and deeply obsessed, and seeing another user send you a headcanon has inspired me to share one too, because I have no one I can talk about this stuff with IRL, haha. I guess a warning that it's kinda nsfw (like, VERY mildly), so it's TOTALLY okay if you don't want to post this.

Ever since finishing the game I've been thinking so much about Merrin and Cal and how their relationship will change now that they've admitted and embraced the fact that they have feelings for each other. Part of me for a while was thinking maybe Cal had his "first time" with someone he met through the Rebellion in the five-ish years between Fallen Order and Survivor, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt that it would be more in character for him to uphold the part of the Jedi code that forbids romantic attachments. Like, he was just so focused on fighting the Empire that even when a slight interest in a person did arise within him, he convinced himself that it was not only against the code, but a distraction from the fight. So, he pushed all those feelings away.

This leads me to my headcanon that Cal's first time is with Merrin after the events of Survivor. While I don't have lots of specifics in mind as to when or how it comes about, I imagine that when it does happen, it is the softest, slowest, sweetest first time in the history of first times. I like the idea of Cal, this person who dives headfirst into everything and (as Cameron once said himself) "kind of likes to fight," just being incredibly thoughtful and deliberate and maybe even nervous about allowing himself to be that vulnerable with another person. Like, all these powerful emotions and powerful physical feelings would be overcoming him, and the sheer magnitude of it all would cause him to slow down and ask Merrin to lead the way, and he'll follow, so that he knows he's not hurting her or taking things too fast.

And Merrin, who is always ribbing him and teasing him and having silly banter about who's stronger, who's faster, etc., abandons all of that during their first time and is just purely kind, patient, attentive, and present with him, taking pleasure in taking the lead and cherishing the trust that he's put in her. And when it's over, I like to think they just lay together talking quietly for who knows how long, with Cal holding Merrin tight against him and Merrin tracing her fingers along his skin, maybe along his tattoo or his scars, while they tell each other stories and pretend like they'll never have to get up and leave this wondrous place <3

My offline Star Wars community is pretty small, so it's nice to have people on here to share ideas with :) So glad you enjoy the Jedi games!!

There's a lot of narrative weight to Cal and Merrin: the Nightsister massacre being led by a lightsaber (Grievous), the manipulation from Malicos, the Jedi views of attachment and dark magick. They're both survivors of a war that destroyed their families, and they take turns helping each other heal and grow.

Almost every main character in FO/Survivor is a foil to Cal in some way - but unlike all these fallen Jedi, Merrin looks to the future and finds new purpose while still honoring her past. I think that's something Cal really admires in her.

I love the trust and steadiness that they have together regardless of romantic attraction. Admittedly I haven't read Battle Scars and didn't go into Survivor wanting a relationship for Cal, so I may not be the best person to share intimacy headcanons with?? But I'm supportive of the story Respawn wants to tell, and recognize the weight/importance of their connection when it comes to Jedi 3. These tags on my recent post are kind of where I'm at:

Also Star Wars is very much lacking in the "healthy relationship that LASTS and no one DIES" department so if these two can break the trend, that'd be great 🙌

[cliowo]

In this essay, i will explain the reasons why sky children of the light has become an increasingly unwelcoming game to new players and veterans alike-

Yeah yeah i usually only share my words here but tumblr feels like a really comfy place for me to share unfiltered thoughts and i needed somewhere to vent ig (skip if you have no idea what I'm talking about)

When I first started playing in prophecy, sky was a really fun game. We didn't have the request for a guide function then and I'm actually really grateful for it because the joy was in exploring each of the different realms and season areas on my own and randomly stumbling across spirits whose stories were waiting for me to discover. Maybe it was because I was a dumb moth - i didn't even know how to access seasonal spirits trees - but the pressure to cr just wasn't as intense as it is for moths today. The back to back seasons and "days of" events seem to have sucked the fun of exploring the world of sky for moths because they're so focused on grinding for candles/hearts/event currency that they just dont slow to smell the in-game roses anymore. And the thing is I get it because there's just so many new cosmetics as well as older ones from past seasons and events to farm for.

I mean sure you don't have to collect every cosmetic but 1 cape costs like 70 candles on average, same for a pair of pants iirc, a prop/acessory at 40-70 candles (70 if its an instrument??) , and hair at around 40-50 candles; and the best part is you can only earn 20-21 candles max in 1 reset 🤡 Add all of that plus the need to look for event currency in fear of facing such prices in the event rerun and you get stressed out moths facing existential crises every 2 weeks when ts arrives😀 Sorry moths, the economy is bad irl and just as bad in sky.

And what of the veterans? Yeah, well, we get no friends as everyone starts to quit the game and those that stay live off copium revisiting the places we once visited with friends- Or maybe that's just me

New friends, you say? *cue flashback to moths begging for help with cr* we exchanged like maybe 5 sentences max at chat benches🥲 i have nothing against helping out but it does make it difficult to form a bond when they disappear right after and you fade into their constellation of ubers

And then we have the seasons.

... Honestly the only season that made an impression with me after aurora was the recently concluded season of the 9 coloured deer, which was also another collab season💀

I actually had to check the sky wiki for this:

Remembrance - ironically very forgettable. What was the story again? Was it the one with the group of spirits living in one specific hole in vault like why- vault is bigger than that sad hole- OH THE PLUSHIES okay maybe this one was passable... im trying okay

Passage - ??? Havent finished this season's quests so uh- so far it seems like... a cult..? In isle...?

Moments - if they wanted a camera in-game, they could have just added it to like the days of sunlight event (the camping one) or smtg. They did not have to force a season for a camera💀 imho the camera was the only thing worth mentioning abt this season and i don't even take pictures

Revival - i suppose aviary is pretty and it's nice that the spirits have somewhere to stay now. Not particularly impressed. Don't really remember the story in this one.

...i heard rumours of a furniture season after the 9 coloured deer. Looking forward to hearing what they'll name this one lmao

The quality of "days of" events is still acceptable to me. Just maybe ignore the numerous iaps and the fact that we have multiple umbrellas but only 1 is f2p (don't understand whats up w that btw)

And also the recurring bugs💀 I've been playing for at least 3 years and I've faced these bugs/problems multiple times:

1. Unable to light frends constellations because the screen just yeets itself into oblivion or some random environment feature where i cant press the button

2. Game crashes (after every update istg-)

3. Splitting servers

4. Sky discrimination and gate keeping, aka refusing to let me open the game

5. Being unable to collect currency/dailies (it's not my internet i checked)

The lack of compensation is another matter entirely

I don't know man I'm tired. The only reason why I still have it installed is because it's my only link to the people I used to have fun and relax with. Not everyone has discord or insta or some other social media.

If you made it this far thank you for coming to my ted talk. Feel free to leave your thoughts- just remember to be respectful

Tldr:

The sky economy is bad. For everyone. Moths (and maybe even vets) are stressed out and vets are losing friends. The seasons are increasingly dull and the long-lived bugs are frustrating.

[flandrepudding]

doll collection post

Hi guyz!! so somebody asked me to post my doll collection a while back and I put it off because i'm trying to rearrange my setup but its taking much longer than expected due to irl stuff.

But I dont wanna wait anymore! Feel free to just scroll through the pictures, you don't have to read the commentary if you don't want to. In fact you don't have to scroll through any of this at all. I wrote a lot because I am severely neurodivergent. Having a genuine blogging moment rn.

I have been waiting forever for an excuse to post my collection!! I was so happy someone suggested I do so.

I don't have a lot of room for everybody! Everyone is scattered around my room, but I try my best to display them nicely...

My G1 collection is moderately sized, these dolls are expensive and difficult to find. There are so many more I want, like Dead Tired Lagoona or Sweet 1600 Draculaura to go with my Sweet 1600 Clawdeen...sigh. But it just keeps getting harder! I am actually content with stopping my G1 collecting hunt for now and instead focusing on G3... Many of these dolls are from my dear friends, especially Leo and Raven (hi guyz!). Without my friends, I would only have three of these dolls... I am so lucky to be so loved!!!

I don't have many bratz that are in good enough shape to be on display. I really grew up on bratz rather than monster high... but again...these dolls get expensive! Roxxi was always a favorite of mine and a crush! Growing up, I was the type of kid who almost exclusively wanted one brat though. Yasmin. Not Cloe, Jade, or Sasha. I was devoted to collecting Yasmin because she looked similar to me. In retrospect, I really wish I had gotten more of the other girls...I do have some...though their numbers pale in comparison to the Yasmin army.

The ball-jointed doll is my most expensive doll and my largest doll (she is fucking ginormous). Even when buying her at half the original price (great deal from a great friend) she was hardly affordable.

I bought her because I plan on customizing her to be Flandre Scarlet, my ultimate comfort character! I've always dreamed of having a doll of Flan. SO why not make one myself? I've had her for months but am still too scared to cut that beautiful hair off...I'm no good at cutting wigs/hair in general. I did install her red eyes myself which I've never done before as this is my first and probably last bjd! She is gorgeous but I would consider these dolls luxury items... VERY EXPENSIVE.

(idk why the exposure is so high on these, sorry!! >_<;)

I am so happy to have the coffin bean playset!! I think it was a really good idea to get it. but I am so sad because I have hardly any room for it! So It's sitting on my dresser in front of a giant mirror so please excuse the poor editing I did to obscure the reflection of me and my living space lol...

I gave my Twyla low pigtails, though they aren't very visible, and my Clawdeen braids! I think Clawdeen looks super cute this way tbh I tried curling her hair again and again and again but the curls always fell out (I dont have much experience)...but honestly... I think I like this look even better ^_^. You can see her ears so well this way.

This Clawdeen is basically my holy grail and it was gifted to me by Leo, Leo if you're reading this I hope you know you are basically Jesus.

not to get deep but the OMG doll next to her is special to me because it is one of the last gifts I got from my late Grandpa. He took me to target and when I said I liked the doll, no questions asked, he bought her for me. Didn't give me shit for liking dolls at my big age. He simply got her for me because she made me happy, and he wants me to be happy. Dolls can mean so much. Again, I am so lucky to be so loved!!! >:D

I have this gorgeous Draculaura just chilling next to my jewelry cuz I have nowhere else to put her and honestly she is gorgeous and should stand alone.

Here I have the pride Bratz next to my bed!!! They mean so much to me, as I said earlier I had a crush on Roxxi. To see she's a canon lesbian now is so incredible!! And Nevra, her girlfriend, is beautiful! They are so cute together... they are never leaving that box though. This was actually the first doll/set of dolls where I fully understood why people are content leaving dolls in their boxes. I love to play with my dolls so much... but I could never play with these two!! If anything happened to them I would lose my mind.

Now... you're probably thinking......where the hell is Lagoona?!?! Do you not have one despite loving her this much? Of course I have a Lagoona. I AM GROWING AN ARMY!!!!!!

I really, really love Lagoona...I want to get every Lagoona doll I possibly can. Isn't she so cute! I relate to her character in the cartoon a lot too... her life at home, her difficulties speaking up when she is sad or angry, her sporty personality, etc etc... She has quickly claimed her spot as biggest comfort character #2. I included many pictures because I simply cannot pick one, she is flawless. You might recognize the Lagoona on the left, I drew her in that exact pose recently!!

I have her army on my desk, giving me the strength I need to get through my work... like Homer Simpson with his pictures of baby Maggie at his work. I get endless inspiration and motivation from Lagoona!!!

And here is the Flandre shrine bonus... I adore her!! I also have finally ordered a fumo flan that should arrive in august around my birthday eeek!!!

Anyways that is my collection. It's been many years in the making, though it's almost doubled since monster high G3 released... Mattel truly has me by the balls right now. If you read any of this, thank you. I put a lot of time into making this post, and it was really fun. I feel like a real blogger right now.

I really really enjoy dolls and talking about them. So I will happily do so anytime I get the chance!!! Will probably do an update once I finally install some more shelves and move stuff around <3

[nonhumanresources]

A List Of Books/Stories About Transformation

You ever seen those titles of extremely specific essays? If this was one of those I'd call it "A List Of Books That Contain In Whole Or In Part Some Amount Of Transformation, Or The Changing Of Oneself To Another That Has In Some Manner Been Fundamentally Altered From The Self You Used To Be." That was the original title but I didn't want to be mean.

I was rambling far too long about post TF on one of warmer-hotcakes's posts and they mentioned not being able to find stories with a positive relationship to transformation (as well as transformations that are permanent) so I wanted to put a few down in a list!

Granted, these are incredibly inconsistent in pretty much every way other than being SFF but hey, we take what we can get here. Plus they weren't wrong it is VERY hard to find these kinds of stories, half of the list at this point is self published novels on Amazon written by people I've met by chance in TF circles, to give you an idea. So, to pad it out I will add more tangentially related TF stories.

If anyone happens to have more stories feel free to comment them and I'll add them on! I will also add to the list sporadically if I feel like it.

Anyway, without further ado:

Wolven by Di Toft is about a kid finding a werewolf out in the woods. It's been years since I read it but it's got a fun dichotomy between a villain and a protagonist both suffering from partial werewolfication and the ways they deal with it.

Thousand Tales by Kris Schnee is a self published series of books set in the near future where an AI runs a video game that allows people to be "uploaded" into it. There's a lot of books that don't need to be read in any specific order focusing on different characters and is generally a more lighthearted approach to the topic than most, and also it has furries in it. There are books about people who upload immediately, people who do eventually, and people who never do. Not quite the same as adjusting to changes IRL but this is my list and I get to shill whatever I want. Also, it's some of the highest quality writing/editing I have seen in a self-published novel (especially TF novel).

How To Be A Hero: (And Part Time Dragon) by S. Blakeway is a book about a hero who gets defeated and turned into a wyvern by the Dark Lord. Her eternal torment is interrupted, though, by said Dark Lord sending her out on a quest, during which she has to navigate turning back into a wyvern every few days. It's fun and silly and has lots of TF and the author is a very nice and cool person. Go buy this one and the sequel and help me bother her into finishing the trilogy please.

Perspective Flip also by Kris Schnee and Shifting Tails by Paul Lotor are a pair of short story collections. These are more of a soft recommend; both include cases of protags adapting to transformations, and generally involve positive stories, but not all of them are great. Perspective Flip is generally good but Shifting Tails especially has stories that lean very far into the horny side of things as well as topics I was very much not into, but some of them were admittedly very enjoyable. Being horny isn't bad, of course; it's moreso that there is less "story" and more "hey wouldn't this TF be hot." To be fair, sometimes they are, but sometimes they stray far away from my interests, so take that how you will.

Wereworld by Curtis Jobling is something I read as a kid but I'm gonna be honest I remember almost nothing about it. However it is about therianthropes of all types and I like that so it's going on here. They even have sharks!

The Dragon and the George by Gordon R. Dickson. Full disclosure, I have not finished reading this one, and I do not believe it has permanent TF, but it does feature a dude who astral projects into a dragon and is generally a fine book.

The Dangers Of Wearable Technology by Serathin Sabertooth (gods I hope that isn't a pen name, that would be so cool). This is one that I don't really recommend? Which is odd, you might say, for a list of recommendations. Correct! I just have a complex relationship with it, which I will include in a post here so that I don't flood this list with unnecessary words.

That's all I can think of at the moment, but like I said, feel free to send suggestions my way and I'd be happy to read em/add em to the list! Obviously it's pretty short right now and I'd love to bulk it up as much as possible for all us COOL NERDS

[mysticbeaver]

Your opinion on all the side characters? Or what you like or dislike in each of them?

Thanks for the ask, and it's a long one! Nice for a change. Let's see...

- Jonny 2x4 - one of the characters I'm guilty of neglecting... But I think he's a fun, quirky kid (even when he's supposed to be annoying). I remember when I first watched Dear Ed (where he got in a fight with Plank) the scene at the playground made me sad for him. It seems to me there's not much Jonny fanart here on tumblr compared to how Plank and him are considered icons of the show elsewhere. That's probably what makes some like me less interested in the character... I hardly react to pics of real Plank IRL, sorry Plank fans 😅

- Sarah - she's fun... c'mon! Again, non-tumblr fans are on a different planet, the hate boners people have for a 6-7(?) year-old character are entertaining... for a while. I love that she's actually intimidating and strong, she ain't just bark and no bite, another less slapstick-focused show would have handled her differently. A lot of people cheer for the scene where Ed shouts at her in Little Ed Blue, cause they want to see her get "just desserts", but I never care about that, I like her for the rabid little princess she is lol. I also like people's headcanons of her treating her brother better as she grows up, and hopefully escaping the unhealthy favoritism from her parents.

- Jimmy -  even more than Sarah, the hate he sometimes gets is really tedious to me... he's always entertaining, especially his "theatre kid" moments, and his squeaky voice borders on "dog frequencies" sometimes haha. The only thing I've found slightly odd is maybe his flaws and negative traits (spoiled, Sarah always has his back, secretly a cunning little bastard) are sometimes given a free pass just because he's queer-coded, maybe? This only ever bothered me exclusively in relation to someone like Kevin being written off instead, but this my own bias, just a lighthearted observation (for real tho please tell me if this is a dumb reasoning)

- Nazz - she's the nicest and most well-adjusted "normal" kid around (if you ask me kevin ain't normal haha), but had an unfortunate starting point of "girl all the boys have a crush on", which she was never developed out of, or at least not nearly enough as she should have been. I've read something about the writers struggling to figure out what to do with her, maybe? Can't remember. Some people point out her hidden intelligence, but I think it would also be interesting to explore her negative traits, mainly I see her as slightly two-faced/flighty when it comes to how she interacts with the Eds.

Kevin - oh boy, my sense of this character is probably so skewed... The one character I used to get upset and annoyed about like an idiot, in regards to other people's takes and such, sometimes I resent the fact I ever got fixated on the character... why??? Help 🤣 I guess what torments me is that the viewer was never really meant to like him or find him interesting in any way? and doing otherwise is just a case of "fandom brainrot", I dunno what others think 😵‍💫 His jerk/bully role is definitely handled in more interesting ways than other shows would, there's enough meat to the character I guess it's possible to be invested in headcanons/developments. (or so I convince myself...)

Without getting too rambling, let's just say I love him as much as I'd find it entertaining to see him get incinerated by a flamethrower lmao.

Rolf - my other favorite ofc, and a much more pleasant one lol. Nothing embarrassing about loving this character, for sure. In fact I'm probably guilty of not seeing his flaws, but I guess he can be arrogant, and violent/gross with his traditions, when he could learn to be lenient considering how he's treated with a fair amount of tolerance by the cul-de-sac. But in the end he's just a kid trying to get used to a new land and culture.

Kanker sisters - I never thought much about Lee but my eyes have been opened by the implication that being the oldest one in a tough family/social background kinda excuses a lot of her behavior... But others can analyse this better than me.

I think Marie is the unfortunate middle sister who maybe had the least distinct personality? (beyond her aesthetic hinting at her being a punk chick), thankfully she's got plenty fans (btw her being underdeveloped is more food for thought for marie x nazz/nazzarie 👀...). I haven't got much to say unfortunately, other than my first eene ship was eddmarie exactly because of Marie development.

I'm guilty of seeing May as the most innocent one (certainly thanks to that bit where she cries in Hanky Panky Hullabaloo) and the only Kanker I'm keen on shipping with an Ed (the Ed).

Bro? - well... He serves his purpose haha. And he's got an interesting aesthetic. I do like people being invested in the character and even liking him or imagining a more redemptive interpretation of him. Fans have been able to like much more monstrous characters in fiction, being a Bro fan is no big deal... "I can fix him" sure go ahead! You're a saint 🤣

[miradelletarot]

If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your friends or else they'll abandon you, those aren't your friends, that's just toxic. I do my best to curate pockets of the fandom that are mature and drama free. Fandom is meant to be an escape from life and a source of joy and community. You absolutely deserve that experience and I hate that people are taking that away from you when you need it most. Don't be afraid to drop what isn't serving you, and take a break if you need. But if you ever want a place to talk bg3 stress free, I'll be starting a discord server for naughtybg3confessions soon and you're certainly invited. I've always been fond of your blog, and I feel like the fandom would be missing out without you in it. Not to guilt trip if you really need a break, ofc, do whatever you feel is right. But know that there are people here who care and accept you no matter what! And it sounds like you're going through a lot, so if you ever need to vent or just want a distraction, hit me up any time.

I do hope it's ok to answer this publicly. Bc truly, it means the world to get messages like these.

I've actively taken these last few days to weed out the people that were causing me stress, and removing myself from the more toxic spaces. It's helped me realize that the "problems" are focused on certain social media sites (we all know which ones...) and any spillover onto Tumblr basically gets ignored. Which is hilarious. Everyone on here just gives the ol' thumbs up, and moves on bc we don't want or care about the drama. Frankly, that's fantastic. Since I've taken out the trash as it were, I'm doing so much better. 😊

I've decided I'm just gonna live on Tumblr for fandom things (and the occasional irl nonsense lol). I'll save my main Twt account just for Twitch streaming stuff. ✌️

Also, I'll HAPPILY take an invite to the discord when you're ready! It sounds like it'll be a fun time! 🎉

Again, seriously, thank you. You and so many others on here have truly been so supportive and caring. I'm glad my blog brings you joy, and it really warms my heart that y'all see this as a nice space to visit 🥰💖

[chiharuhashibira]

Super delayed but here's Part 8~

Hewooo! Loves, sorry if I wasn't able to upload the next chap on time T_T

My WIPs irl had caught up on me HAHAHA!

ANYWAYS Let's not waste any more time. Here is the next chappy!💓

Taglist:@unofficialmuilover@sofilsworld@skeleton-the-gangser@ahashiraswife @sharkyy-tm @crazycatlddy

𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒀𝒐𝒖

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚅𝙸𝙸𝙸

𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢 𝐗 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐌𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐧 𝐀𝐔)

<𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 | 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫>

Content Warnings: Curse words, Slightly Suggestive, A Hint of Verbal Abuse

“Good morning, angel— Oh, who are you?”

Your body froze as Hotaru's voice echoed in your room. Sanemi shot up a glance at the man who was standing by the doorway, holding a flower for you.

Now all you wanted to happen was to disappear. Never in your life have you wished for your dark past to meet your colourful present. But now it has. And even if you deny it, Sanemi's questions would be inevitable.

"Oh... Y/N, is this the guy who saved you?"

"Yep, that's me. But who are you?"

Before Sanemi could speak, you tugged on his sleeve and told him that you didn't feel so well. With the stress, you felt like you'd throw up. And with that, Sanemi helped you sit, and for a while, the questions were left hanging.

But today's not really your day. As you were holding on to Sanemi, trying to settle down, the door opened again, and there Giyu entered, with an obvious fury in his eyes. You observed Hotaru facing him with his usual expression; Giyu's presence had no effect on him.

Sanemi, on the other hand, was clueless with your mini-reunion; the man focused on helping you sit with his eyes rested on you. But then...

"Why the fuck are you here again?" Giyu said that, which astounded Sanemi. Your boyfriend had never seen Giyu mad at all, even when they were younger, and he was still rude to him. So, seeing him this way now made the white-haired man freeze.

"Nice seeing you again, Tomioka-kun."

"Fuck you."

"Oh, I've eaten too many curses since last night. Right, angel?" Hotaru said, facing you, which definitely concerned Sanemi. Your boyfriend stood up, and with an annoyed expression, he spoke up.

"Why the fuck are you calling my girlfriend 'angel'? Who the heck are you, old man?" Sanemi asked, forgetting all the respect that he had stored in his body.

Hotaru's expression changed from sadness to fury. But he tried his best to compose himself. Not answering Sanemi, he looked at you and placed the flower on the table near him. "I guess there's tonnes of things that I still need to know about you, Y/N. Perhaps six years is really that long, huh? Anyway, I'll go. See you around, angel."

Sanemi and Giyu mirrored each other's angry expressions as Hotaru said that. Your ex bumped Giyu's shoulder before closing the door behind him. But Tomioka did his best to restrain himself from punching him there and then. He loathed the man.

But as you averted your gaze back to Sanemi, you were met by his glare. "What's that?" He said it coldly. Tomioka's expression shifted from anger to worry as he saw you shiver. The ravenette sauntered towards Sanemi and placed his hand on his shoulder.

"I'll tell you everything."

"What do you... oh, you know what's happening?" Realisation hit Sanemi, and there he sighed, and without saying goodbye, he walked out of the room. You wanted to stop him, but you felt all your strength had been stolen from your body.

Tomioka sighed and helped you lie down again. "I'll call a nurse to assist you. I'll just talk to Shinazugawa-san. Don't worry too much, okay?"

You didn't react, but that didn't stop Tomioka from going out of the room and following your boyfriend.

Sanemi was fuming. He doesn't understand what's happening at all. Why in the world would some random guy show up in his girlfriend's room with flowers and call her "angel"? And what's worse is that he thinks Tomioka knows what is happening.

Groaning, Sanemi sat on the bench and face-palmed. He was so mad that he just wanted to leave. But of course, a big part of him still wants to stay with Y/N. He's just very perplexed right now. He needs answers.

And there, Tomioka's voice echoed in the hallway, making Sanemi almost run away. He doesn't want to talk right now, but Giyu is persistent.

"What do you want from me, Tomioka?

Giyu sat beside him and sighed loudly while looking up at the ceiling. "You know, you shouldn't be angry at—"

"Why the fuck would I listen to you?"

"Because I know that Y/N has no fault. She wanted to tell you last night, but she was afraid."

"But tell me what, Tomioka? The fuck is happening?"

Sanemi's nails dug into his palms as he felt the anger inside his body. Giyu then continued to speak calmly, unconcerned with the man's actions.

"That was Y/N's ex."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING HERE THEN?" Sanemi stood up from his seat, looking down on Tomioka, who was still staring at the ceiling with his empty eyes.

"He's the one who saved Y/N. My friend hasn't been in contact with him ever since they broke up, Sanemi. So don't go accusing Y/N of cheating. The girl loves you so much."

"But why would she hide it? I can't understand!"

"Sit down, Sanemi; you're making a scene."

"Fuck you."

"Dammit, sit down!"

With Tomioka's voice raised and an angry expression, Sanemi finally sat down with his hands covering his face. He felt like his heart would explode in frustration right now. He didn't speak, so Tomioka took it as an opportunity to tell him what happened.

"So... Y/N met him when she was around 18. They were together for a year. You might still be wondering why Y/N didn't tell you about him. It's because the man had traumatised Y/N. You can never imagine what things she endured—"

"Tell me. I am going to murder that old man."

"Alright then."

You were anxious, and the nurse was worried about you as she fed you. As much as you didn't want to eat, you need to if you want to leave this shithole as soon as possible.

What in the world just happened? Why now? Why would fate betray you like this? You wanted answers as much as you wanted to just run to Sanemi and tell him everything. But still...

I hope he listens to Tomioka-san.

You were mad at yourself for not telling me that Hotaru was here last night and that he was the man who had saved you. You remembered the smile Sanemi had on his face earlier and that enlightening aura that surrounded him when you woke up earlier. He was even joking with you about having a family.

Why does Hotaru need to ruin it all?

Tears ran down your face when the nurse finally left the room. You felt scared that, because of this, Sanemi would break up with you. The thought made you shiver and feel empty and sad.

Sanemi had been the man who enlightened your lonely life, and without him, you'd be who you were before, that same sad Y/N.

You looked at the table and saw the flowers that Hotaru had brought. If you could only easily stand, you would rather light it on fire. You didn't hate roses, but you hated the man who brought them.

You can't stand the audacity on Hotaru's end. Showing his face again to her? Perhaps he even thinks his antics will manipulate you. But no. You are not the same as your naive self. Things have changed, and now you'll make sure that the people who ruined you won't be entering your life anymore.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice that the door had finally opened, and there, when you looked up...

"Sanemi, babe, I'm sorry."

"Sshh, don't cry." He said he was walking towards you to finally embrace you. You didn't have the strength to speak, so he did instead. "Tomioka told me everything. He made me understand, and yes, what he said was true. You were innocent, and you don't deserve to be treated as trash. But, babe, I am not like that old man. I love you so much. You can tell me everything."

"Sanemi..."

"Tomioka feels like he failed to protect you before. So now, both me and him would give you all the protection and love you need."

Sanemi pulled out and stared into your eyes. He wiped the tears on your cheek and kissed you slowly.

"But Sanemi, what did Tomioka tell you?"

You asked once you both pulled out of the passionate kiss.

"I don't want you to relive that—"

"Tell me..."

Sitting on the couch inside his flat, Hotaru looked out the window with empty eyes. He never expected you to be taken. He just wanted to get you back to the point of obsession with your pasts for the last few years.

He wanted you back. And he'll do everything for that to happen.

"The fates will work my way today."

He said this as he slashed the sofa in front of him with his knife.

𝑻𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒆𝒅…

𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒊𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒘!

The next episode will be more intense and full of flashbacks so that you'll have context on things. I just don't want to make this chappy bulky XD

Sooooo see you on the next chapter loves! I know it is kind of short but I hope you liked this one still~

Ja ne!

~𝓒𝓱𝓲𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓾-𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷🌸

<𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 | 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫>

[v0idsp3rson]

ALRIGHT IT DELETED MY DRAFT AND MY PHONE IS AT 15.92/16.00 STORAGE BUT IM DOING THIS ANYWAYS

IM COMING OUT(online of course too much of a coward to do so irl) AND I HAD A BETTER PARAGRAPH OF SOME SORT BUT IT DELETED MY DRAFT AND DIDN'T COPY ONE OF THE PARAGRAPHS AND DIDN'T TAKE THE SCREENSHOT SO IM FREESTYLEING NOW.

Idk if I put it in my bio or not I'll check after I post this, but here! :

Im omnisexual and demi-girl! :3

That's what the braces thing was about but it didn't turn out very well because you can't see the whole thing from the front and it's too pastel for my liking.

Also when I was looking for the demi-girl flag I saw genderflux and it looks interesting. If it makes any sense, to me irl I feel more like a girl, or at least when anyone asks ig(I guess) but I feel kinda like a girl, but when im online I feel less gender, kinda like nonbinary but not really? Online I like the idea of going by all pronouns but still being a demi-girl. And after looking at the definition of genderflux I kinda feel like I'm that but also demi-girl. So kinda like, sometimes I'm a girl, other times I don't really care, and most of the time I'm like an in-between sort of? Idk I saw it and I'm focusing on the "varies in intensity" part lol.

Also for omnisexual I like all genders, but also just gonna put it out there that im also aroace! :D

(also srry for not using the official flag I wanted to use this one)

I don't really feel romantic or sexual attraction but the idea of it is ok with me, and while I don't really have a preference I think that I'd like all genders just a little less on the male side, and I've also been omni for a long time and don't want to sepperate from my flag lol.

But ye, that's me! Have a nice day/afternoon/night!

[vendetta-if]

November Progress Update

Hey guys 👋 It's been a while since our last progress update here.

First of all, I want to apologize for not being too active on Tumblr lately. During these first few weeks of November, I've been busy with a lot of IRL stuff that's going on while juggling writing and posting things on schedule over on my Patreon 😅

I'll try answering as many asks as I can as soon as I finish the current project I'm writing. For those who have sent me nice words and compliments or gushed over chapter 3, the story, and the characters, I just want to say thank you 🥰 I may not have the chance to answer them yet, but I've read them and they never fail to make me smile and make my day feel slightly better every time I read them again in my inbox 💖 (Oh and for those who are asking for Yvette's artbreeder, don't worry, I see you guys 😆 I just need some time since I'm still pretty busy)

As for the progress update itself, right now, I'm focused on writing the Halloween-themed Interactive Side Story for Vendetta. It has definitely gone longer than I first expected since I can't help but write out as many of the cute and wholesome scenes with little Ash, Rin, and MC that I can think of 🥺 I have a sneak peek of it up on my Patreon.

Right now, I have finished writing 2/3 of the story and I hope it won’t take long to finish it now. Here’s to hoping that this IRL business can dwindle down soon🤞

Since this Interactive Side Story is a reward for reaching the second goal over on my Patreon, it will be available to play for all tiers of Patrons. So, if you are interested, please check out my Patreon page! I'm also holding a Patreon Q&A session with the characters of Vendetta for November's Q&A there, if you are interested 😁

As always, thank you so much for all the support and likes and reblogs on my posts 🥰 They really meant a lot to me! I love you all and please, stay safe and stay hydrated! ☺️

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

"That doesn't happen in real life. NO ONE says stuff like that"

Really? Are you so sure? Clearly you've never been around places like malls, conventions and events where a large number of people between the ages of 12-25 gather. Because I have.

Anime Conventions. Both attending and working.

Security working random events that hire us and weddings.

Trade school where your only entertainment is to leave on the weekends and go to the mall with a few friends.

Single life where you go to the mall from time to time to window shop.

I hear a LOT of shit you think you'd never actually hear IRL. And between having worked military and private security and run money trucks at a security agency, you learn to PAY ATTENTION at all times. Which means listening to what goes no around you. So I hear a LOT more than you'd think. Especially if I'm not hyper focused on one thing.

The conversations I'VE heard could probably get me in a lot of trouble in some cases as well. Certainly I've heard some about some illegal shit. Like a conversation in a bookstore I heard walking by the young adults section of a girl bragging to her friend how she set up some "dumb bitch" to get r*ped by some of her other friends by lying to them.

Yeah the real world is a fucked place. If only you knew how fucked it actually was. You for sure hear the shit in real life that you hear online. It's a matter of if you are paying attention or not. I don't need to make shit up to be annoyed about. The world provides plenty. And it's not just "Superficial shit online". That stuff VERY much happens IRL. And excluding random conversations I've heard from random people. I know a guy who's friends with a far leftist. And some of the shit HE SAYS out loud would make some people online look sane.

Like how he view our mutual friend as a possible predator because he's 6'4" and is dating a girl that's at or under 5'. And he's dated shorter women in general but compared to him most women ARE short. And he goes, "It's kinda worrying that you like short women. Makes you look like a pedo. To which our friend responded. You know my GF and are friends with her. Do you think it's right to say that she shouldn't be allowed to date me based on my height? Dude shut up real fast. And it's not the only off the wall shit I've heard from him OR his friends. And it's all the type of shit I'd hear online and they ACTUALLY believe it. They are walking WOKE ass stereotypes. And those types of people exist. And they influence younger people too.

So kindly don't tell ME what I have and have not heard or experienced. I touch grass all the time. And when you are trained to pay TOO MUCH attention to what's going on around you. Touching grass isn't all that nice. Because you WANT it to be only online. You WANT it to be just some tiny fringe group. It's not.