#i've been productive and honestly i am feeling So Proud

[imaginespazzi]

NIVI!! Give us your postgame thoughts on Ole Miss!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING MY LOVIES! I am thankful for that fact that I found a stream that worked last night and got to watch this game even though that 3rd quarter took years off of my life.

AZZI. FUDD. I don't think I can even begin to explain in words just how proud I am of her. Everyone has been saying that it's only a matter of time before Azzi starts to contribute (not that she didn't contribute in the Oregon State game) but Azzi didn't just contribute last night; was definitely the biggest (not the only of course) reason we won. It was a one-possession game and momentum was without a doubt on Ole Miss's side and Azzi said fuck all of that and gave UConn an 8-pt cushion all by herself. And what won't reflect on the box-score is that her scoring those points did two things: it deflated Ole Miss and it energized UConn. She was just so good offensively and defensively; just an all-around performance and I'm just so incredibly proud. And you know what the best part is? Those 3s ain't even falling yet.

Casual 29 points for the NPOY, no biggie just Paige doing Paige things except you know MY Paige doesn't normally get 5 turnovers...jk jk because honestly she only should have had 3 (still "high" for her standard but also that's what Ole Miss hangs their hat on). That 1st half and that 4th quarter were just things of beauty. That's what you need your leader to do, set the tone and then finish things off. AND SHE FINALLY GOT SOME FTS!!

Sarah looked really good in the first half and then when Ole Miss got going, she looked a little shaken in the second half, emphasis on the little shaken because it was only really in terms of scoring, she was still doing all the little things. I've seen some discourse and I personally don't want Sarah to stop taking 3s because it's not like she takes bad ones and I think they're gonna fall and we need them to fall and they're not gonna fall if she stops taking them.

JANA!! She had some clutch has hell rebounds and some much-needed shots. I thought she had a really good game and a near double-double. She just looked really energized out there and I think she's only going to get better.

Ice had a up and down game. She definitely did a couple of things that frustrated me but also made some solid plays. I would have definitely liked a couple more points and a couple more rebounds but I think the hustle, that's been prevalent the last few games, is still there.

Ash needed more shots which is partially on her but also I feel like she was getting plays ran for AND her teammates weren't doing the best job of finding her. It feels like the aggression, particularly on offense, of the first two games had dwindled a little bit and she's in a bit of a slump. Also two of Paige's 5 turnovers, probably belong to her because girl what was you doing?

We definitely need more point production from KC but I thought she had a very stabilizing presence last night and did a pretty good job running the offense in the 4th.

KK hadn't made me want to scream at her for driving into traffic and getting blocked like clockwork in a couple of games and so of course OF COURSE she had to do it last night. But I do think she matched Ole Miss's energy well and I liked that one drive she had. She needs to look to score like that more.

Which brings me back to that KC-KK discourse, I still think the KK-Paige-Azzi-Sarah-Jana/Ice lineup is our strongest but I also did really like the KC-Paige-Azzi-Sarah-Jana that we used to end the game and was I believe the prominent lineup throughout the 2nd half. So I think my general opinion is that it doesn't matter who starts because ultimately it's gonna be a opponent-driven decision and it's good to have that option.

I love Paige and Azzi and I love that they had good games but I'm ngl, looking at that box score and seeing so many people with only 2 pts did not please me at all.

Blowing leads is becoming a recurring thing and as much as I think it's good character building for this team right now because as Geno says you learn more from overcoming the Ole Miss run than if you had stretched it 30, it is a little concerning that it's a bit of a pattern. And again this is only their 5th game and it was their first true test and also ofc only their 3rd having Azzi so I'm not necessarily super worried, but it is something I'mma keep my eye on.

But overall I'm just really proud of this team. They got punched in the 3rd and they punched back and I'm hoping to see a lot more punching in the upcoming games.

[stil-lindigo]

Hey, I just wanted to share something with you, as someone who's so invested in the Palestine conflict, I hope it might inspire hope, even a little.

I was born and live in Egypt, a very conservative and religious country. These days I deleted my Tiktok and rarely ever use Twitter, as I'm in my senior year, and seeing the constant deaths and torture was getting into me so much that I couldn't even eat or drink properly, nevertheless properly study. I honestly am not proud of myself for doing so, but there's comfort in the fact Egypt is so Pro-Palestine. There's a lot to be done, and even for people like me, we can help.

My school has been donating food, clothes and blankets to Palestine. The McDonald's in here have been trying to distance themselves, claiming they're "100% Egyptian", only to get mocked and insulted. I go by the local McDonald's, there's a lot of schools where I am, around 5 in two blocks, and where before they were constantly so full, these days they're so empty. I can only see maybe 3, 4 people in there. A lot of people in my school are on a complete strike, against every American product. We've resorted to buying and getting local products instead. Egypt is doing very poorly economically at the moment, but there's still a lot of effort into knocking out American products, even if not by the companies, by the youth and the children. I can't go a single class without one of my teachers openly supporting Palestine. My Arabic teacher constantly uses the people in Gaza to teach me grammar, calling them brave and courageous. My geography teacher denies Isreal, and has been in league with others to get more donations and aid. Egyptians believe so truly that Palestine will be free that it's hard not to think so too. I've had classmates openly agree that if they could, they'd join the army to help fight for Palestine, I've seen more people than ever mocking the current regime, I've seen more people than ever falling out of the American illusion and seeing it for what it is. I've spent a lot of religion classes being taught Arabic brotherhood and chivalry, when previously, the lessons were stereotypically conservative in nature and I used to despise them for it.

Yes, the government sucks like every other, but there's an air of open support in here. No one is losing their jobs for stating the truth, homes and shops are waving the Palestinian flag. Even the antisemitism, which was rampant, has seen a noticeable decline. People in here stand for Palestine.

I want to also let you know you've been an inspiration for people, or at least, to me. I want to be able to participate more, and I see your reposts and reblogs and I want to do even more than what I did at the start, which was retweeting and reposting and sharing what I can to my friends. Unfortunately due to my current living situation and my terrible memory, I missed being able to donate to the school, but they have stated to open up donations again soon, and I'm preparing in advance for that one. I was not raised Zionist, but I was raised warned against participating in political affairs, saying I'd be put in more trouble, and even could be killed. But I see you and I see so many Americans losing their jobs and being branded criminals and as moral failures for speaking out, and I find it harder and harder in me not to also speak out. And even if I'm not constantly retweeting and reposting, there is something I can do. You helped me realize that, and I'd like to thank you.

I hope this cheers you up even a little, I've noticed your posts these days expressing how much this has been upsetting you. It's been upsetting to all of us, and I want you to know that it's not fruitless, no matter how many western countries and how many bootlickers make you feel otherwise. This ordeal has taught me the world is a brotherhood, politics and money are never a reason for why we should not stand together, and why we shouldn't speak for those having their voice silenced.

Please excuse me if something comes off wrong or unnatural. Like I said, I was born and I live in Egypt, English is not my first language and I still have issues communicating my personal thoughts in it. Please never don't stand for Palestine. Please never lose hope for it, like the Egyptians never have and never will. Please never let people make you feel hopeless and insane.

Thank you for listening to me, thank you for caring about Palestine when it would've been easy not to. Thank you for using your platform, and if you found it in you to read this thing, thank you for giving time to a brown Arab, when the world so strongly encourages you not to. Please continue to inspire justice, and I hope the world one day continues to inspire hope for you.

😭 anon, I cant explain how much I appreciate you sending this message. I know there is hope for Palestinian liberation, I know that we will see freedom for Palestine. But god do I need the reminder sometimes that we aren’t all just shouting into the void. My country of Australia shamefully takes a cowardly stance on Palestine, always deferring to the US to guide our foreign policy, and yet always claims moral superiority over other countries such as yours. Thank you, really thank you so much for sending this message. I feel so so honoured to have earned an audience that includes you. I believe an audience does reflect an artist, and to know I have done you proud in any way makes me feel full.

And please don’t ever feel ashamed of your English, you are eloquent and have a wonderful, compassionate voice, and you have inspired hope in me for yet another day.

[le-trash-prince]

Kenta

Okay. It is once again time for me to talk about my number one little man. I was interested in Kenta from the very beginning, and at some point I realized that I was not going to be normal about him, but I really did not anticipate how much he would come to mean to me. I hope y'all have enjoyed witnessing my descent into feral blorbo state. It is not over for me in the slightest.

I want to say that Garfield really acted the shit out of this role, and the writers knew what they were doing when they cast him. His arc was so important to the overall plot, with his growth being pivotal to Tony's downfall, and yet he had a relatively small amount of dialogue to work with (although certainly not the smallest amount of the cast).

A lot of his scenes involve him standing in Tony's office, taking instructions, or even just simply observing. A lot of his lines are based around business deals and errands—rather than furthering his emotional development. He doesn't give big speeches, he doesn't talk about his feelings or his dreams, it's always just "I'm doing xyz for Tony, and I will never betray him."

Some of his most dialogue heavy scenes are in one stairwell with Pete and in another with Tony, which I think are extremely pivotal moments, both of which reveal a fear of abandonment.

But it's honestly when he's quiet that he says the most.

And I love that, I'm obsessed with it. I love that the whole fandom could insantly tell that he and Pete had something going on, just from the way they looked at each other. I love that the storytelling in his arc was so highly visual.

In the beginning, Kenta appears to be nothing more than Tony's lackey: quiet, intimidating, and actively complicit with what is going on.

But as we see him more and more, it becomes exceedingly apparent that he cares, so much. I know I am biased in saying this, but I do also pay close attention to what other people are saying about Kenta, and I know almost everyone has been waiting the entire series to see him stand up to Tony. The amount of acting that Garfield did with his eyes, while remaining such a stoic character, was insane.

Despite him repeatedly declaring his loyalty to Tony, despite the fact that he does not reveal any actions against Tony until episode 12, we feel so much of his inner conflict.

I think for me, personally, the aspect of Kenta's character that I relate to the most is his inability to speak up when he wants to. I've struggled with selective mutism my entire life, and there have been countless, countless scenarios where I've had so many things to say and no ability to say them. The more dire the situation, the more my words fail me. I have to spend so much of my energy constantly planning for potential conflict scenarios just so I can have the time I need to figure out which words to use. Because it can sometimes take months for me to figure out certain phrases. And because it is so painful to stay silent when you want to tell someone to stop. To stop fighting, to stop hurting each other, to stop hurting me.

So I was beyond moved and proud to watch Kenta finally be able to protect his brothers and quietly say the one thing he has wanted to say all along.

Don't hurt anyone anymore.

Don't hurt anyone anymore.

Don't hurt anyone anymore.

I will take some of the words that P'Chod gave to Garfield before they went into production. "It’s just you want to live in a peaceful house and be happy together.” All we want is peace.

I wish that Kenta had not been forced to kill Tony because I don't think he has ever wanted to hurt anyone. But I'm sure as hell not sorry that he did it. There will always be people who are unwilling to stop.

And I recognize that Kenta tried a peaceful method first. He gave X-Hunter what they needed to put Tony in jail, and Tony refused to give up. He was never going to be the kind of person who would simply surrender. To him, these people's lives are property that he is entitled to.

Here is an auto translation of something Garfield said about Kenta at the final episode screening.

"I already knew that Kenta would be similar to me, in that I'm someone who doesn't dare to express my feelings to the people around me, saying very little. So when I got the role, I felt… that it teaches us that as long as we dare to be ourselves and do things that make us happy, that's enough."

We may never know what happened to Kenta after Tony died, but I hope he is able to find his peace. I hope he is able to engage with restorative justice, and I hope he is able to learn what family really should be.

And I hope that someone, anyone, will give him a goddamned hug.

the first shot / the last shot

Thank you, Kenta, from the bottom of my heart, for showing us yours.

[universitysunflowers]

Ok I've had some time to process heres my detailed thoughts (TBB spoilers)

First I want to get my biggest issue with the finale out of the way - Tech and CX-2. I have been delusional about him but not to the point that I wouldn't accept his death or other clones as CX-2, and I was staying open. But then they went and did exactly what I hoped they wouldn't: they gave us no confirmation of his identity at all and left him thumbtacked to a wall with no face reveal. Not only is this exactly what they did in Ahsoka, but I also feel like it left a huge gap in the finale storyline. They put so much emphasis on him throughout season 3, including the last episode, and we got nothing out of it. I also felt like this made Tech's death kind of meaningless?? Which I absolutely hate saying because of what he sacrificed in season 2, but why kill him when the rest of the batch gets to live happily on Pabu and grow old with Omega? Maybe the writers had a good reason and I just didn't pick up on it?

I also felt like we were gaslit into thinking it was Tech, only for the ending to imply he's been gone the whole time. Domicile? Phee? CX-2's fight with Crosshair and the waterfall? the way he got the most screen time out of a group that was so clearly meant to be an imperial reflection of the original squad? Idk guys I feel like we got cheated there.

I also wish we got some idea of what happened to Wolffe and Cody, but maybe that is an opening for another show? perhaps?

Ok now that that is out of the way I can talk about how much I absolutely loved the rest of the finale.

Emerie's character development was amazing I've been routing for her since the season 2 finale and you know those Jango Fett genes are coming in strong she will take such good care of those kids for as long as they need. I also think it would be cool to see her again in future productions, her character definitely has potential.

Echo survived!! All the parallels between him and CW season 6 Fives had me terrified that he was about to die but that arc trooper experience paid off. His reaction to Omega freeing the zillo is by far one of my favorite parts of the episode he was so proud of her and I was glad to see him work so well with Emerie. I am also fully ready to enjoy Echo and Rex leading a clone rebellion whenever they deem us deserving of it (looking at you Filoni). I know we don't have proof of anything but there are still to many unanswered questions surrounding the clones, I hope they finish those storylines.

The last Domino is still standing, they would be so proud of him (and his dad jokes).

Hemlock finally got what he deserved and oh I was so happy that Hunter was the one who did it, especially after all the batch went through because of him. And what came after that? Even better. We finally got a Crosshair and Omega hug (plus Hunter) and they all made it off Tantiss alive I mean what more could we ask for?

I have so many feelings on the ending and the epilogue and I'm not really sure how to put them into words but my first instinct when I finished the episode was to spend 40 minutes c r y i n g

they got a happy ending? they have peace and happiness on Pabu and got to see Omega grow up? Omega is going to fly with the rebellion and fight back against the empire?

and Tech will be with her the whole time???

I am unwell. This has left me emotionally unstable. Not only is that the best ending I could have hoped for given the past seasons but it is also such an amazing last look at their family. No matter how you think of them you have to admit Hunter was right, she is their kid and that will never change. That line alone will be living in my head rent free from here on out. Her last talk with Hunter was so well done and is one of the best moments in the whole show, but honestly Tech's goggles on her ship's dash is what broke me; he would be so proud of her I need at least 3-5 business days to process this.

Yes I have my issues with the unfinished storylines but wow that finale was something I don't think I will ever recover from. It may be one of the best endings we have ever seen in star wars. Like I said, I have a lot feelings and if I tried to put them all in a post it would have to be a multi-volume novel.

If you made it this far thank you! Feel free to add your own thoughts I like hearing what other people have to say. I'm just going to go burrow straight into the ground now and pretend I don't have finals next week because honestly who can be productive after something like that?

Oddly enough this is making me want to go back and watch the Clone Wars again, maybe Rebels too? Definitely making me nostalgic.

[the---hermit]

Yesterday's Irish studying and last night's sunset.

03|02|2024

This surely has been the start of new month. Yesterday I had all my nice post written out and then I deleated it after an existental crisis caused by professors being chaotic to avoid using mean adjectives. These last few days have been a rollacoaster. On Thursday I worked so hard and was super productive I reached my weekly study goal and beyond, and since I was very proud of how well I had been practicing I decided I would take the last three days of the week to rest. Yesterday was a day mostly made of doing nothing and resting since I am absolutely exhausted both mentally and physically, I just listened to my body and did what felt good to rest and relax. I had a great day I really needed it and I didn't even feel guilty for not studying, because again I worked very well lately and was feeling very confident. And then at six something pm I get a mail from the professor saying he last minute decided to change the exam from an oral test to a written text. I spent my whole week practicing oral exposition, I do not have written exams at all in my degree and moreover he didn't give any fucking informations. How many questions will it be? Where the hell are we supposed to meet? Should we bring our own paper? Nothing. I won't lie to you I cried, a lot. And I am still very fucking angry. I am so frustrated and tired and my well deserved rest weekend has gone out of the window because this morning I had to wake up earlier to practice written exposition on this stuff. I ended up doing less than I had planned because if it wasn't clear enough I am fucking exhausted and honestly cannot focus on this stuff anymore since I have repeated it so many times. I truly hope the exam will go okay and I'll get a grade I like because I am so over this. I will be taking the afternoon off anyway because I need to go to ikea with my dad since the other day the small set of drawers I use as an archive for my notebooks collapsed and since then I've just had a pile of notebooks in a corner of my study.

📖:A Day Of Fallen Night by Samantha Shannon

🎵: I Don't Want To Do This Anymore by PVRIS

[historia-vitae-magistras]

This is a little different from your usual content. But you have so much niche information that just I love to hear about. Do you have any podcast recommendations?

WHOO okay so I'm doing my nonfiction podcast recs and leaving out my horror or audio dramas but without further ado:

It's been out of production for years, but Caustic Soda is probably my favourite of all time. It's a small Canadian production of tons and tons of episodes on everything from shark attacks to murder to warfare to bugs and anthropology. It's so fucking funny and pretty well-researched as time goes on. Honestly, I was so young listening to this that it formed part of the lens through which I view the world.

Stuff You Missed in History Class: Often corny, wee bit lame, occasionally hilarious, always solid; this one is probably the one that has taught me the most. It's been on the air forever now, and it's really fucking great. They have also used sources that I actually dug out and made public for the first time and I'm quite proud of that. Its the favourite sweater of podcasts.

Time to Eat the Dogs is about the history of science and exploration. I highly recommend it if you like any of those things. I really like the host's interview style; all the guests are academics and authors. It's very conversational and feels like having a lovely sit-down with good friends, but those friends have Ph. Ds.

Casting Lots: Two really, really funny Brits discuss survival cannibalism across time and space. This podcast informed me that a story i heard as a fireside tale was based on true events. It somehow manages to mention Canada in every other episode and then some. I love the first three seasons in particular. They have truly done some incredible work in the course of their series and pulled from some primary sources that surprised even me, an actual archivist. They're shockingly respectful for how funny they are and how disturbing the content is and really take into consideration things like culture, empire, sex and racism as they discuss cannibalism, and it's just. I love it so much, truly.

Big Old Boats: It's not technically a podcast, but I've never once in my life actually watched the video as he discusses various maritime disasters, and I don't think I've ever missed anything by doing so. This is an absolute must-listen if you enjoy maritime history, missing ships, ghost ships, or just anything weird related to a boat. Archival work I did is actually mentioned in a couple of episodes!

Not What You Thought You Knew: Another podcast I really love that was, unfortunately, a very short run but academics and actual historians debunking popular historical myths. I am very, very fond of the episodes on The Night Witches in particular.

The Midnight Library: Last but not least my favourite fucking podcast currently running. It's a nonfiction podcast framed as a fictional witch/librarian in her cursed library telling (mostly) true stories around a particular theme, human vice, or any number of stories. And the way it's framed is so fucking great. Like they're talking about real history, witchcraft and folklore in so many of these, but you get little glimpses of world-building that have honestly started to bleed into the way I write. Even the ads are for fake magical businesses like 'the League of Lady Grave Diggers, the Broom and Fang pub. The library assistant/bouncer is a werewolf. The Witch's on-again and off-again boyfriend is a spring-heel jack. It's just so fucking clever a way to frame a nonfiction podcast in a spooky atmosphere while being historical, terrifying and funny in turns.

Anywho, if you listen to any of them let me know! And sorry if that went overboard!

[squeaksinc]

2023 creative year in review! 💦💦

The most stand-out thing to mention was this was arguably my most active and productive cosplay year...maybe ever? its incredibly uncommon that I can handmake 9 costumes in a year, but on top of that, 7 of the 9 were also custom designs, which is pretty wild.

costume-wise, i learned a stupid amount of skills and really pushed what i was comfortable with. IMO the best from the year are the collector, knives, pupet, and nekomancer at least just from a craftsmanship perspective. I try not to brag or be an ass, but I am genuinely very proud of those. they posed fun creative challenges that kept me engaged, and I'm happy with how they turned out!

the other side of the coin is although last year was my most dormant cosplay year, other crafts were super active....and the reverse happened this year _(:3」∠)_ i didnt really draw much at all other than making cosplay designs, and other physical media didnt get much time to shine either. I made some plushies, but they were lackluster, and I think I made maybe one unfinished figure lol. but I did try BJD making and loved it!! I made 4 this year and have plans to do more haha.

thats the upbeat overview, the readmore is going to be a more negative perspective so proceed with caution haha.

More than anything I wish i had more time to do art and build up Stitch in The Ditch/more OC work, but honestly this year was also objectively insane in the non-creative front. like i hit the worst patch of chronic pain i've ever had/found out my abdominals have been ripping themselves apart and bleeding for the past 10 years lol/had to go to the hospital like THREE!!!! goddamn times and now i'm dealing with the news i'm going to need abdominal surgery, got a teaching promotion/award, got my physics masters, utterly INSANE family happenings, had gastroparesis for 2 months and couldnt eat more than 200 cal a day in that time which caused all my blood levels to crash and i'm still reeling from it, and of course, have just been Cashually working goddamn 60-80 hours a week in an experimental physics lab in the background during all of this which is driving me to the point of madness- suffice to say i hit my limit like months ago lmao.

like looking back i know i should be happy and proud i did so much but i cant help but feel disappointed and wishing i had done better quality stuff. honestly, i know i goof about how hard work is, but its really really getting to me. i've always been happy with my ability to juggle so many things and preserve my ability to have a cool job, make cool things, and independently take care of myself, but work is month-by-month morphing into more of a monster thats just been suffocating everything else out. I really dont know what next year will look like, as i've been wearing thinner and thinner i'm noticing a trend where I just dont have the energy that I used to to do anything outside of my job.

I bring this up because on paper I should be happy with what I made, but I still feel like im in a stand-still. I made a lot of costumes, but tbh they were low quality/lackluster. like the number went up, but the quality didnt and I couldnt do much of any other art things. I couldve, and shoulve, been able to make much better work this year than I did, but it didnt happen as a combo of being snuffed out by my job physically and mentally.

in 2023 I got a head start/built up momentum from the beginning of the year that carried me through when things got insane in spring/summer/currently, but I'm already starting 2024 from a low point. yall. im so tired. im so goddamn tired. like its funny to goof about how much I do but its catching up fast and i think this is going to be the year when I just cant keep up anymore. Its hard to talk about since the "being crushed to death by your job" topic isnt one people want to engage with, and unless you're experiencing it first hand its hard to understand what living like that really means.

for 2024, i know theres no way I will be able to match this same number of costumes, but my goal is no matter what I want to start making things that are more solid on a construction level. fewer projects, more polish. also doing more non-cosplay stuff like world building and dolls would also be awesome. will that happen??? lord only knows. honestly usually these predictions/goals go haywire but this is also more of a response to external things outside of my control so ???? ??????? we'll see lads

[xxnashiraxx]

24, 37, 53, 56 and 63 for the writer ask game! 🥰❣️

Thank you for asking, lovely friend! You can find the original post here!

24. Worst Writing Advice Anyone Ever Gave You? I don't have too many instances where I'd specifically reached out and asked, honestly I was trying to hide it as much as possible, haha. But I think the one that sticks out the most, through no particular source, would be to write all the time, constantly. That doesn't help you, it drains you and takes a horrible mental toll on you if you don't regulate yourself and take a break from time to time. I struggle with feeling like I should always be doing something, always be productive, but trust me- taking a nice step back from time to time can actually help waaaay more. 🖤🖤

37. How Do You Choose Where to End a Chapter? This is such a good question- I like to make a slight impact with my chapter endings and I guess, though it really isn't this complicated in my head when I'm doing it, is to play on an emotion. For romance, I could end on angst or longing, for complicated feelings and emotions I like to end on a realization or the struggle of further confusion and its resulting aggravation. I also like to pepper in little crumbs regarding an ongoing plot that hasn't been fully unraveled yet, mostly so the readers feel like they're wrapping their heads around the mysteries along with me. It's fun! But not always super clear cut. 💕

53. How Do You Spend Your Time When it Comes to Fanfiction? Are You Primarily a Fic Reader, Writer, or a Perfect 50/50 Split of Both?

I have alternated and balanced this ratio out as time has gone on! Back when I first started in high school, I was primarily 50/50. Over the years I kind of lost my muse, or I'd write for myself very sparingly (maybe once a year or so, and less than 10k during that period) with things that I found interesting, but I didn't really delve back into the hobby until last July. I was a reader, consuming literally everything Nalu (Fairy Tail) until resuming a long fic I'd planned out 4 years ago and never finished. Unfortunately, or in other words, fortunately for me, I discovered Baldur's Gate, and after Astarion, there was no going back (rip my Alvarez Arc rewrite, may she rest in peace). Now I tend to lean more towards the writer portion since I'm writing my current long fic (With Stars to Fill My Dream) and doing some Astarion Kinktober prompts, but once this month ends and I'm on my longer post schedule, I am hoping to catch up on all the fics I haven't been able to read that are sitting in my browser (I have 30+ tabs open, it's ridiculous...)

56. What's Something About Your Writing That You Pride Yourself On?

Oh boy... I don't say this as a fish for compliments, but I'm not really sure I do anything too different from other people! I have heard a kind of general consensus on my horror aspects, and while I personally think they're extremely tame for my own standards and I know I'm my worst critic and think they can always be improved upon, that's something that really sticks with me. I have never published in the excess that I have now, and it literally means the world to me when anyone comments on anything they think sticks out when they read my fics. If I had to go with anything else, I'd say that my little details have really improved during the time I've been a writer. I've done many little links back to earlier conversations and imagery with callbacks in WSTFMD that I'm very proud of. I just hope it's not too obscure that people miss it!

63. Something You Hate to See in Smut.

Look, I'm really open-minded, and if anything isn't my cup of tea of course I wouldn't seek it out. That should always be established. Glaringly obvious things would be anything illegal, but going into the real bones, I'd probably have to say some "terms" for "areas" on the body being overused or out of place kind of bother me. I really don't have too many crazy ones here, I'm guilty of using some anatomically incorrect situations simply for the sake that it pleases me and I find it hot- nothing more, lol. It doesn't have to be 100% factual, it's fun and that's all that really matters! Unless you're hurting someone or doing something shitty, I really don't have a lot of issues. 😊

Again, tysm!!! 💖💖💖

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 11.26.2024

I did not finish chapter 9/52 and there's no way I'm gonna today, so I'm just gonna go ahead and call this week. I certainly worked on it. My current workflow is that I have a document called "temp", and I put the current chapter and all its mess in there, and when it's done, I paste it into the "rough draft" document, put any scrap I want to save into the scrapheap at the bottom of my "notes" document, and then start clean with the next chapter. Right now, the temp doc is over 3k words, but I've really been flailing with what to do with this chapter, so it's three-quarters of fight scene and a bunch of half abandoned scraps of conversation and now Ichigo and Renji are expositing at each other and I'm about ready to throw the whole thing in a dumpster. Anyway, I'm not going to count any of that as progress for this week; it'll get counted when the chapter is finished, which is my goal for next week.

That doesn't mean no progress, tho! Earlier in the week I wrote a 2k Inuzuri vignette, just because I was thinking about it and wanted to write it. It was so pleasant and fun to write and people have been very nice to me about it, and honestly, it's got me fucked up a little, because writing is so rarely like that for me these days. I've had this fear, roughly since I started writing Bleach fanfic in 2019, that I was going to eventually run out of ideas, at which point I guess I assumed I would just quit or something? I don't know. What has happened instead is that, when the random bolts of inspiration began to get farther and fewer between, I've learned to create story concepts and to craft them into a finished product. And, like, that's a cool skill! I am proud of my ability to do it! But it's also, like, work, like a fucking job. And the result is that I spend a lot of time writing things I want to be written, and very little time writing things I actually want to write. I used to at least have parts of my stories that I was looking forward to writing, and that's not even really true anymore. Sometimes I happen to have fun while I am writing things, but looking out ahead pretty much just feels like a slog. I've known that this was happening for quite some time, and I've tried various things to fix it and none of them have helped. I can't stop, though, because the only thing I really want to do is read fanfic, and the amount that is being written to my tastes and interests is a very small fraction of my appetite for it, so my only recourse is to write it myself. Anyway, at least I had fun for two days this week! That's something!

I did some art tutorials this week, and I think at this point I am putting off drawing my Christmas card in hopes that I will run out of time and then have an excuse not to do it at all. 🙃

Sorry to be kind of a bummer this week. I'm also wrapped up in holiday off-my-schedule anxiety, so I've had a headache+ low grade nausea for the last three days, which I pretty much expect to persist through the entire month of December.

GOAL PROGRESS: This week, +1979 words, which gives me 14,150/20,000 = 71% of my year-end goal, with 5 weeks to go.

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in: October 12th, 2023 🎀

Today has been a lazy yet somewhat decent day? There's not much to complain about. Besides the fact that I didn't do a single homework assignment, I'm exhausted, so that's alright. I did do a decent amount of Japanese studying today though I didn't open up my Genki Textbook like I had wanted to but oh well, there's always tomorrow!

🩷 What I Ate Today -

Brunch - Spaghetti with ground Turkey and meat sauce

Dinner - Taco bowl with ground beef, black beans, shredded cheese, shredded lettuce, sour cream, a small dollop of avocado, and red salsa with 1.5 low carb tortillas

Snack - bunny tracks ice cream, 16oz bottle of Dr pepper

Extra - 4? cups of coffee (or 5, I can't remember)

I was not very productive today in terms of academic progress, but I still feel like I did what I could given my energy levels. (and caffiene intake). Did not eat the healthiest, but I listened to my body, and honestly, not every day will be perfect, and that's okay!

🩷 Personal Achievements, Oct 12th -

cooked ground beef (leftovers woooo!!)

washed dirty laundry

put away all clean clothes

did my therapy phone call

video called my boyfriend

morning + night skincare

completed 2 duolingo lessons

completed 1 busuu lesson

completed 3 kanji lessons

typed up one draft for upcoming blog post

I had heard about an app called Kanji that teaches you kanji based on JLPT Levels, and I actually really like it, so I bought access to all levels for 11$ USD!! feel like that's a fair price for over 2000 kanji, and I'm excited to start expanding my Japanese knowledge. Also, I am trying out the LingQ app. It's pretty interesting and seems useful for reading practice! I don't know why I got such a kick to study japanese but I am not complaining!!

No Academic Achievements for Today

🩷 Personal ToDo, Oct 13th -

Review previous 3 kanji lessons

Complete 1 duolingo lesson

Complete 1 busuu lesson

Continue Genki I Lesson one (?)

morning + night skincare

morning + night journal

morning workout (at home)

make bed

read 1 chapter of atomic habits or other self help book

🩷 Academic ToDo, Oct 13th -

Culinary Chapter 10 Quiz

Consumer Debt Inventory Assignment

Chapter 9 Notes Psyc

Chapter 9 Quiz Psyc

Attend Psyc Lab

Attend Anatomy Lab

Using Credit Personal Finance assignment

module notes fitness health and sport

module quiz fitness health and sport

work on component 2 for psyc paper

Giving myself a lot of school work to complete tomorrow but that's okay because I have the day off from work so I know I'll be able to get a lot of it done, if not all of it! I'm hoping I sleep decently tonight so I can wake up ready to rule the world tomorrow. My goal is to wake up early, workout, shower, do some makeup and get ready, and be on campus early to get back into the school mindset because I know I've been slacking these last two days. I work a double shift on Saturday, so tomorrow is really the ideal time to finish everything as much as possible.

🩷 Song of the Day: Fearless, Jp Version - Le Sserafim

This has been my anthem lately. It's catchy, and I kind of prefer this to the original version in Korean, but that's a bit biased on my end as I am studying Japanese at the moment.

🩷 Tomorrow Morning Workout - Pilates

Even if I only finish the first video, I will be proud of myself. It's the effort that counts, and it's definitely gonna be a start! I will be posting an updated current workout schedule with routines soon!!

That's all for now! I will update tomorrow night!

Til next time, lovelies 🩷

[imaginespazzi]

I'd just like to say I've had a super busy week with personal stuff and work, and you have no idea how much seeing a new chapter perked me up! Your writing makes me so happy. I'm stuck working on a presentation for work this weekend and it is really draining and boring, and I've allowed myself to reread and review a section of this chapter for every 5 slides I finish. Productivity Queen.

May 2033 - Locker room eye fucking

alright so it took me a hot minute to figure out what the HELL this chapter had to do with chapter 2, but I think I have it. Paige is worried Angie Davis will shine, the Valks will not need 2 PGs the next season, and P will have to go to the liberty… so her plan is to… kill Angie?

Also I feel like you didn't tell us who their coach is on purpose! You crafty minx.

Of course they watched the draft together, as I am sure they do everything together, cause they are wifey. Azzi keeps referencing she doesn't know what 'this' is yet, but I am curious why. Like they are clearly committed and exclusive… why not slap a GF label on there you fools. Honestly at this point though GF doesn't seem like enough.

Azzi being distracted by P's biceps…. me too girl, me too.

Paige being distracted by Azzis abs… me too girl.

Hickey on the collarbone from last night. I hope these two idiots are being quiet. Poor Stephie being in the same house at night as these two horn bags.

Ok I love this sexy little banter in the locker room, they are such idiots for thinking they wont get clocked.

The tidbit about Paige suggesting first that they keep it on the DLDL is so sad to me, babygirl trying some self preservation.

Tessa is a menace and I love it.

LOL Jana being so relieved to have SOMEONE to share her misery with.

"They're kind of disgusting" clocked.

May 2033 - Domestic car ride #1

I need to admit, as I've been critical of her in the past - I am SO PROUD of Azzi. She is all in on this, and despite her constant nagging fears, she is fighting against them cause she wants this. A+ growth Azzi, you go Azzi Bueckers.

Also I am just loving how much they call each other Baby it is very very cute and makes my heart and my vagina swell with happiness.

“I’m okay with the fact that you’ve probably fucked other people. I mean other than the woman you married as well that is.” HEHEHE yes thank you for this, I think there needs to be an 'Azzi spitefully brings up Olivia' occurance at least once a chapter. Bonus points when she uses a word other than Olivia's actual name to describe her.

"then hear about some whore who had the audacity-” HAHAHAHA. Paige Imma hold your hand when I say this, but I think there were probably a few whores and at least one man-whore.

The hand holding in the car, the knuckle kiss, "all mine"… SQUEEEEE

I am proud of these two idiots for their communication on this though! Azzi for gently coaxing, Paige for realizing its best to talk it out together. “it’s nothing we can’t get through.” Awwww.

May 2033 - Enter Stephie

I have to say Stephie is the absolute STAR of this chapter. Too many zingers to list. I love it, you write her really well cause its hard to make a 5 year old engaging or believable.

I am absolutely shocked Azzi hasn't threatened to withhold sex unless P stops giving Stephie so much junk food. Azzi is gonna have an aneurysm. Prob cries into her green juice daily.

'you’re more than that, you two are the reason my world keeps turning' I'll say it again, I am so proud of Azzi. Bitch is ALL IN.

Wow they have fully uhauled eh? I LOVE IT.

Paige with kids is TOO CUTE. I don't blame Stephie I'd be pissed if Paige wasn't giving me all her attention either.

HAHAHAHAHA Curry clocking them since high school. You bitches are not slick.

“No thank you Coach Bueckers,” ouch.

AZZI IS WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME TO SAY I LOVE YOU? I PRAYED FOR DAYS LIKE THESE.

The whole exchange with Claudia's whore mom was absolutely spot on. Paige would be obliviously smiling along chatting away thinking nothing of it. AZZI with the bicep crushing hold.

NOT CLEMENTINE! Stephie is more of a menace than I thought possible.

“Well is she allowed to hug and carry and kiss Claudia’s Mama then?” - CLOCKED AGAIN. Does Stephie suspect something?

October 2022

I know this is gonna hurt cause a Drew + Azzi Pookie pairing realllly has my heart

Paige freaking out about waking up alone on her birthday is so accurate

“you won’t ever hurt my Paigey will you?” OH DEAR GOD ����😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

May 2033 - Drew is Scary

Shocked Paige didn't yell at him immediately with that attitude he's giving her girl

Not Stephie with the kisses, she is diabolical

Oh so he HATES HATES Azzi

Drew just finished his rookie NBA season! I love that for him

"you’re my Miss Buecks’s Mommy's brother so that means you’re my Uncle Drew .” Fixed it for you.

This was so good and I cannot fucking wait to see what happens next. Thank you for blessing us with another chapter Nivi!!! 🤱🏽🤱🏽🤱🏽

Bestiiiieeeee hi <3 Aww I'm glad to provide a little reprieve in your life and i know you're gonna crush your presentation for sure!

I love that you title parts of the story lmao

Does Paige ever actually have a plan or she just doing what the vibes tell her? Which i mean yeah I guess might be to kill Angie?

Yeaaaaah this is not one of those Nivi has a plan situations. The Coach doesn't have a name because I haven't figured out who it is yet and so she's just unnamed til I do whoops.

No labels because they're going with the flow (what could go wrong you know?)

LMAO they're trying to be as quiet as possible I'm sure

I'm so glad you see Azzi's growth like girlie's done a lot of it since she ran out of Paige's house and is definitely fighting all her intrusive thoughts.

I'm a whore for the word "baby" and so are they because this is my fic tee hee

One thing Azzi's gonna do is make sure everyone knows she does not like #thatwoman

I'm so glad y'all love Stephie and she's both adorable and believable. She's like the perfect cumulation of all my kids at work and so I really do hop I do her justice.

I mean l don't know if Azzi could survive withholding sex lmao

Stephanie Katarina Fudd: smartest kid in the world fr fr - she doesn't suspect per say but I think she can tell that what her Mama has with Miss Buecks isn't the same as with her other Aunties

Paige just dramatic as hell all the time I fear

DREW IS SCARY LMAO

Stephie's gonna get her kisses no matter how awkward everyone in the room is lmao

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of March 2024

[last month]

This was such an exciting month of releases--Purplekiss, Day6, BLEACHERS?? Chung Ha gave us a couple of songs, Nina Suárez came back out of nowhere, Lucy dropped a single, OLIVIA RODRIGO IS BACK?? I've been super excited for the J-Hope album, too, but I haven't been emotionally ready to check it out, yet, since I want to have the energy to really love it! Not to mention the Seori EP-- PLUS Bol4 and StayC both dropped some covers of huge 2019 k-pop hits.

And that isn't all. The highlights of my month were seeing Bruce Springsteen (only my favorite artist ever.) and Gregory Alan Isakov in concert(s)! So honestly, I'm a little overwhelmed by just how exciting music is right now. (It doesn't help that this month gave me my first album of the year candidate, too!!) This post will be my opportunity to go a little wild, then :)

1. Leopardos -- Ine Güemes

I should not enjoy this listening experience as much as I do. That whistling noise should annoy me by now, after all these listens, right? ... Right? Nope. I love it. This song is so soothing, it's literally the musical equivalent of a deep breath.

2. Appaloosa Bones -- Gregory Alan Isakov

Concert prep + THE sulking song this month. Look, I'm a guy who needs my daily floor time (floor time. perhaps you require it.), and it always involves considerable sulking. (At this rate, you're gonna see a sulking song on this list every single month. It's a tradition now!) I've been losing it about "Was I that gone? / Man, I hope not / Glad you found me when you did" and "The pages slow / in the room I called your name" and "They haven't made no pill / To get us across the winter time" ...

3. All Things End -- Hozier

You know what ended? My eight-week class. *sigh of relief* All things end, truly! Now I just need the reminder that this semester will end, too...

4. Death To My Hometown -- Bruce Springsteen

I'd never heard this one before, but I ASCENDED when I heard it live (the horns section was. fantastic.) and I left it on repeat all month post-concert.

5. The Ledge -- Fleetwood Mac

This song makes me proud of my music taste, honestly--see, I can like weird experimental stuff, too! It sounds wonderfully, comfortingly crowded--like the ambient noise from a nearby café, or like falling asleep with the TV on. I don't know, it's just a feeling I find myself really enjoying. I'm also SO deeply in love with the round-style singing (see: "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" rounds in middle school choir) Fleetwood Mac sometimes does (see: my obsession with "Paper Doll"), and they do it in this song !!

6. I Don't Want to Know -- Fleetwood Mac

I like this one for the same reason I like "Second Hand News"--that cheerful self-deprecation just never fails to draw me in. ("Second Hand News" is still better, though!)

7. Smart -- Le Sserafim

Does anyone NOT like this song? I missed the Eve Psyche hype train last year, so this one's hitting me doubly hard. I think the sweeter tone of "Smart" suits Le Sserafim's vocals much better, and the production is just plain adorable! This has been my go-to song during classes, when I need something to cheer me up without making me too overwhelmed.

8. Luz -- Ine Güemes

That vocal processing is SUCH a standout--so soft and hazy and fluffy, just a fascinating texture when you really focus on it, but endlessly pleasant when you leave it on loop and zone out, too. (Look, I REALLY loved this album this month.)

9. Nota de Voz -- Los Hermanos Laser

Classic indie boy music! I like "Azul Plateado" from this album, too, and I have a feeling the whole album will hit for me during the summer--I tend to like that exhausted-sounding alt-rock stuff a whole lot around July & August :)

10. Light Sprite -- Baby Pantera, Isabella Lovestory

Thanks for the rec, @pocima !!

11. I Am Right On Time -- Bleachers

This is a weirdly muted album for Bleachers (especially on the heels of "Stop Making This Hurt" and "How Dare You Want More" from their last album), and this is the most weirdly muted of them all--I really feel like it should be... more, somehow? But it's still quite a cathartic listening experience, and I keep coming back to it!

12. Really Like You -- Gyubin

I've started giving myself 30 minutes of reading time in the mornings, to help me wake up and not be completely miserable about it, so I've been reading a whole bunch of webtoons. (Hell, maybe I'll read a book one day!) This one's the perfect cutesy webtoon soundtrack, and I think it might be here because I left it on repeat while reading Blooming Season?? (I just finished catching up with Jackson's Diary, and I think I'm gonna start Death of a Pop Star next!) Anyway, Gyubin sounds lovely here, can't wait for a comeback!

13. Self Respect -- Bleachers

The production on this song is just SO exciting overall!! But I'm mostly here for the saxophone. God, it's not even that much of the song but it's gorgeous !!!

14. Nieve Sin Fin -- Ine Güemes

Nice aesthetic piano :)

15. Rush -- Twice

I love how dizzying this song is--it's chaotic and overwhelming in the most wonderful way! I was a little disappointed by it when I first listened to the album, I think because their vocals here are much softer than usual. When I let myself get swept away in the production, though, I totally get the appeal.

Five-Star Songs (& Albums!) This Month

BBB -- Purplekiss (the tiktok-music trend finally got me last year--against my will, admittedly. unfortunately for me, "bbb" is a fantastic example of that easy-listening, viral-tiktok sound from a group i'm already obsessed with, so of course i'm a huge fan. great vocal performances and silky songwriting? yeah, it's great--the muted aesthetic doesn't bug me at all--and i actually kind of love the super-short horn sections in the chorus. they're surprisingly full-sounding!)

Beam Beam -- Jeon Soyeon (i didn't get this one at all when it first came out, but i've warmed up to it over the years--and this month it just HIT. it's the perfect showcase of soyeon's energy, and it's such a rush!!)

Death To My Hometown -- Bruce Springsteen (five stars bc it has the words "robber barons" in it!!)

Girl I've Always Been -- Olivia Rodrigo (i keep underestimating olivia rodrigo's power as a performer. of course she could make this country-sounding track work. of course she could make it my favorite from the album in an instant. who am i to question??)

Hey Joe -- Bleachers (a sing-along for the politically disillusioned. happy 2024, fellow usamericans. well, at least the harmonies here are delightful!)

Jesus is Dead -- Bleachers (i mentioned that this album is unusually muted for bleachers--not dull as in 'boring in terms of production or songwriting', but dull as in dead-eyed and zombie-like. the vocal delivery, especially, is unusually bland and flat. "jesus is dead" is definitely the best use of this half-asleep, grayscale aesthetic on the album--a song as hopeless and monotone as its delivery. it's strange and stylish and messy, too, AND there's also a sax solo ?? and it works great ?? i admire it so so so much--i'm very surprised this didn't make the most-listened list, i've been looping it a whole bunch.)

The Ledge -- Fleetwood Mac

Self Respect -- Bleachers (re: saxophone.)

White Rabbit -- Jefferson Airplane (i don't think it's much of a hot take at all to say this one is fantastic. i heard it for the first time in february, and i've been completely obsessed since!!)

Heráldica -- Saramalacara (okay, i've had like. a week. with this album, but it was love at first listen--and "humo" already had my heart, anyway. the atmospherics are breathtaking, the production crisp and intense, and saramalacara's voice // the vocal production here fits SO well!! there's a song called ".tumblr" that's definitely worth checking out, though i enjoy every song on here !! except "_cuervos". i admire that one but god it disturbs me i never want to hear it again.)

Qué Nos Mantiene Despiertos -- Ine Güemes (first album of the year candidate of 2024 !!! not much of a surprise, i'm sure, given my top 15. more breathtaking atmospherics, but in the exact opposite direction of heráldica! this album is full of really unique textures, but all that chaos doesn't make it any less soothing. each song is distinct, but they all come together into this sweet, fluffy youtube-lofi-mix type of experience--and look, i'm a college student. could i ask for anything more in an album?)

[showmetheghouls]

Well friends, I am a bit taken a back. I don't post as often as I used to on here, but I'd like to express how I feel with the streaming service situation.

I have been a Ryan and Shane lover since episode one of unsolved. I laughed along although highschool and most of college. I fell off a bit after they left buzzfeed, but then - truly when I needed them most, their content came up on my YouTube and I caught up on WWW and the like. That summer I was having a full on mental breakdown, I was literally about to admit myself. Watchers funny and light hearted videos (along with Smosh) helped ease my mind while I worked through my mental health crisis. Honestly I will never be able to thank them enough for that and I know there are many other fans with similar stories.

I've continued to keep up with them and be very proud of the work they have done. Ryan and Shane have always felt like down to earth guys, Shane especially being all 'eat the rich', we love an anti capitalist king.

But this, this is so strange. This is the exact opposite of what I'd expect from watcher.

I understand, they work hard and they make quality content that can't be cheap to produce, and they have staff to support - but this feels counter productive. I am but a poor, now, graduate student. Probably 85% of the fan bass is people in similar financial situations. 6$ doesn't seem like a lot, but it adds up, and for one video a week, that doesn't seem right to me?

I am no business guy, I don't understand money at all, but again, this seems like a shot in the foot. Fans are outraged and I have not seen a single person on any post go 'oh yes this is a great idea I will happily subscribe'.

Also, Steven made a post with a very condescending tone. 'for those who won't be joining us, I couldn't have done it without you' ????? 'for those who want to continue watching' ??? Excuse me? We want to continue to watch and support through Patreon, merch, attending live shows and interactions with sponsors. A streaming service seems ridiculous.

TLDR; I love Ryan and Shane but this is insane and was the last thing I expect from them. I am disappointed and confused.

[guardingthegalaxy]

Bit of an early morning rant, I've been up since 6am and I'm grouchy and tired and this has sort of got under my skin because of a post I saw.

A much as I love James Gunn, I would honestly argue that he falls into the "doesn't give female characters the same character development as male characters"

I think Nebula was the only character who had the same amount of character development as a male character would have had, and I am so proud of her as a character because she's come a long way, but it would have been nice to see the same go for Gamora and Mantis.

I was reading the GOTG VOL. 2 production book the other day, and James was saying how Nebula just wanted a sister and Gamora was learning to love, and whilst that's true and obvious from the film itself, he also mentioned that Gamora was always the bully in their relationship as they were growing up, but we never really saw that. It was ever only Nebula being the bad one. We only really saw Gamora in VOL. 3 being the "bully" and a lot of her personality had changed randomly. And my gripe with that is the fact that from what we've seen of Gamora on screen before the last film was her caring for Nebula. She was trying her best and had been ever since the first GOTG film — she even was in Endgame.

So I feel like if Gamora really was the bully in their relationship, it should have been shown before VOL. 3. I have so much more to speak about when it comes to Gamora and her relationship with Nebula as a whole, but I'll leave it at that for now. He just kind of failed Gamora, really.

Idk. He kind of dropped the ball on Mantis too. I adore Mantis, but I feel like the only sort of character development she got was in VOL. 2 when she turns against Ego to go with the Guardians, and in VOL. 3. I understand that there's only so much you can put in a singular film — I'm studying film studies and wanting to be a director, so I get it. But we've had so many appearances of the female Guardians and not much has happened for both of them. I feel like a lot more could have been done with Mantis in one way or another before VOL. 3. I got why she left and she's another character I'm proud of for making that decision, but I would have liked a little more attention on her.

[tarot-by-e11e]

Hi, Elle! This is my feedback for your "Home" tarot game.

To be honest, I don't even know where to begin. You mentioned a lot of points that describe my situation, or how I act considering things in general. Let me start off by saying thank you for this reading.

Yes, if money wasn't an issue, my house/apartment would be a space I'd be comfortable whether I'm busy or stay at home for months so it would have all my interests in there. Thanks, I also wish you get the house and life of your dreams!

Also, the only earth placements I have are my Jupiter and Saturn in Taurus (Tropical), with Capricorn as my Venus (Vedic). However, I think what strongly relates more with your assumption is my Saturn conjunct MC. I have them EXACTLY conjunct with each other, which probably explains this need for me to be productive and make use of my time. I'm really working on being more lenient with letting myself rest though.

Also, off-topic, I just want to say that I've had quite a number of reading that usually have either the Death or Emperor card. Sometimes, even both. It could also be for any reading, not just self-improvement 😭 I just felt like this was interesting and all telling me something more about taking more initiative and being more open to different aspects of my life.

Speaking of changes, I'm going to skip first to your Phoenix comment. I think I understand your confusion since my relationship with change is this: I know it so well that I could even thoroughly explain what kind of changes should happen in my life and how it should happen. I understand and acknowledge the need for it. I accept and look for these changes, but it feels like inaction happens when I actually have to change something. It's not that I don't want to, but despite efforts, I still have fears I haven't fully resolved. So, that's probably why I reasonate with the Phoenix. This, then, brings me to my routines. As a matter of fact I do love having routines - gives more direction to my life. The thing is, yes, I can hold quite a grip on my routines for fear of possibilities of things that could happen or people that could screw me up (I'm really working on this but so far, this is my hardest "challenge"). I believe I've been more selective of the people I let in my life and I'm proud of myself for that. However, I can't distance myself from some of my relatives yet when I'm still not stable enough to do that. Haha.

You also hit the bull's eye with your momentum comment. Since, yes, I am someone who needs to acknowledge that I do need to change but not at the expense of burning myself out. However, I think I'm still in the process finding my rhythm that I do give my time a long time to rest, then I feel the need to make-up for it since what if I over-extended my rest? There's that kind of feeling sometimes. Thank you, though. I know it isn't a sprint and honestly I'm not getting outer pressure anymore but from time-to-time, I tend to push myself more just because I know I can (though I know even if I rest I still can reach it, it's just my need of having this stability).

This was a great reading and reminder. Thank you once again <33

Hi dear,

Thank you so much for sending me such thorough and heartfelt feedback. Life has been rather hectic, so I'm only able to properly respond to this feedback now~

I seriously wish you get to live in an environment where you feel safe to exist and just be yourself as unapologetically as possible. With my dream house, OMG I hope so too! Actually, let's both work hard to get it! Best of luck for us in the future!

With the astrology part, having earth placements does have that kind of effect on people. So just do what you feel called to do.

Maybe those two cards have some sort of significance in your life since they kept showing up in your other readings.

Ohhh interesting, this inaction can also be perceived as an internal resistance to change. I do really like your take on the Phoenix. But hey, don't beat yourself for being strict about your routines, especially if you have dealt with unreliable people in the past who mistook your kindness for weakness.

I'm also proud of you that you're learning to discern that not everyone deserves to have any access in your life. You don't have to go about it so abruptly, just pace yourself and take your time. You'll get there eventually. Yup, you're right about that.

Just get stable first before making a big move, also do it secretly and discretely. Unfortunately, there are certain relatives that are shameless and uncouth, that the moment they get a whiff that you have a bit of money, they'd come barging in your front door, demanding for a piece of the pie. The same people are so quick to shame you for putting healthy boundaries when you don't give them what they want, like some entitled spoiled brat throwing a temper tantrum.

When it comes to momentum, try to sit down and assess yourself first. How long can you hold focus? How many minutes or hours does it take before your brain doesn't wanna accept any information anymore? What effective mental recesses do you already implement in your life? Which productivity hack works and doesn't work for you? What kind of planner are you? How do you best retain and master a certain information or technique?

Then take notes of your progress.

How long can you consistently show up to a certain habit with this specific strategy? What do you like about this strategy? What do you not like about it?

Treat your progress, as if you're keeping track of all the developments and occurrences that happen when observing a science experiment.

But overall, I'm truly happy that you resonated with the reading. I do hope and wish all the best for you and your endeavors.

[daincrediblegg]

sunrise and empty plate?

OOOOOOOOO THESE ARE SUCH GOOD QUESTIONS OK OK

🌅 (Sunrise) - Do you have ambitions or plans on going on an arctic expedition in real life? If so, was it directly inspired by the show, or was your interest in the show because you already had these goals? If not, what things do you dislike about the prospect? (The temperature is a given!)

OH this is a fun one! Actually, after watching that doc on the discovery of the endurance the other day I had a thought that I would LOVE to put a documentary together on the discoveries that have been made about the Franklin expedition in recent years (namely the discovery of JFJ and, hopefully, more of the men in the future. like god I would love to be on the ground floor if they ever found crozier like holy shit that's the dream) because last year I did a short documentary for my final project in my production class that I am still really proud of where I had to do everything myself from setting up interviews to shooting all of the footage and the audio myself and then of course editing it all together into the final product and I honestly had a really fun time doing it and I would absolutely LOVE to put something together that does justice not just to the men who were lost themselves but also the people who are trying to find them (like I especially think about how horribly misrepresented Fabienne was in what I believe was that nyt article about it that they interviewed her for in light of the discovery) and I would love to meet that challenge also of representing this incredible community that is a mix of fans of the show and fans of the history who are so enthusiastic about these discoveries as well. I just think it would be a really neat project to do and of course I would love to go up to king william island and beechey for some B-roll, or even to get some new footage of the ships themselves, or of what they have in research labs that people are working on right now.

🍽️ (Empty plate) - List some characters you think you’d have an interesting dynamic with, if you were on the expedition with them. They don’t all have to be from the same ship, the relationships do not have to be romantic or sexual (but could be!), and for the sake of clarity we’re going off the interpretation of these characters as they exist in the AMC show. Would you fall for anyone? Would they reciprocate? Would you butt heads with anyone? Why?

God I mean honestly... I think that the way I've written Lady Terror is a pretty good metric for how I think I would interact with the characters if I was there. Though she has definitely evolved from the average self-insert and I don't think her interactions are always 1:1 with what I would do (even though I do try to be honest about levels of action and inaction and try and consolidate ideas about how I would react as a modern person with how someone who was living in the time period would act and react to things) I feel like the interpersonal pushes and pulls she has with the characters and the way her views change over time feel very natural to how I would react to things given the context. I do definitely gravitate towards people like Francis and Blankey and Goodsir irl (aka the experienced but kind, the bawdy but with a heart of gold, and the massively sweet nerds who are also actually really strong and don't let their kindness allow them to just roll over and take shit from people) and I think also the cameraderie with Silna would be there too I reckon. That also I would be a little more critical of the lieutenants and probably butt heads with them in conversation. That I would absolutely fucking haaaaaate Hickey. Of course I could not even declare that a romance between myself and Crozier would be a certainty in light of this as well because irl I don't think I guage romantic intent (whether given or received) like that... but fuck it I can dream right?

THE TERROR ASK GAME