#i've been in love with those particular photos for two years

[luzho]

two years ago lil nas x released holiday... and the elf look still mesmerizes me! i love him!! (based on this cover of paper magazine with lil nas x as tolaÿ the elf)

[ID: This is a digital drawing of Lil Nas X, drawn in vibrant warm colors and wearing dark loose pants, a black mesh bodysuit that exposes his back, a choker and various rings; as he crawls against a cool and pink background with an 8-pointed star. With shiny eye shadow, piercings in his elf ears, and a mullet wig with neon green tips, he also smirks at the viewer. End ID]

[r3starttt]

OBLIVIATE | 00

ellabs x reader | series m.list | > CHAPTER ONE

an: comment to be added to the taglist!

SUMMARY: Amidst the seemingly flawless life, at the peak of the perfection, a looming fear emerges from the very plan that set everything in motion. It shadows you and your wife like a persistent ghost. Memories of youth and a vow to eternal love now cling relentlessly, tempting them to give it another chance.

CW: WIP. +18 content. poly relationship. threesome. sexting. smut encounters. description of sex. modern au. famous au. college au. ex to lovers. time skips.

hockey player! a. rockstar! e. actress! r.

Faded Polaroids lingered between your fingers, each one handled with the utmost delicacy and love.

PROLOGUE

You and Abby had just moved for the third time this year. This entire week had been a blur of sleepless nights spent unpacking. Abby had refused to allow anyone else access to the privacy of your new home, earning frequent scoldings from you, constantly reminding her how things could've been much easier that way.

You only accepted her request because of a very specific person on your mind.

Since your careers took off, neither of you had had a proper chance to settle down. Constantly rushing for interviews and switching roles between trophy wife and fame that left little room for stability.

As you organized the fancy shelfs she bought for the leaving room, Abby found a box filled with memories from her teenage years—music albums, books, and albums she had brought from her home after your marriage, knowing how much you cherished such things.

Taking a break to eat and rest, you both decided to sift through them. You laughed at her old photos, where she looked adorable or, as she called herself, 'nerdy' with her first pair of glasses. Constantly melting at her baby pictures, falling even more in love with the woman before you.

However, the comfort dimmed when you found a particular Polaroid—one you had once begged to take so you would never forget that day. Abby rested her head on your shoulder in the photo, your arms on each side, holding the camera, an auburn girl on your other side.

"What's that?" Abby's voice took you off trance. Your eyes flickered between the Polaroid in your hand and her face, simply leaning the picture to her.

"Guess we mixed them last time" She muttered quietly "Thought you put it here on purpose" a dismissive tone in those words, such a fake acting.

"Nah, I've got a whole box for it" you met her eyes. Your eyebrows furrowing at the tone on her voice, mocking you.

"I've been thinking about her" You handed her another picture, a small dog on Abby's lap. An intent to distract her from the emotions your words might evoke.

"Yeah?" Her hand brushed yours as she took the Polaroid. "What about her?" The couch creaked as she shifted closer to you.

"How's she doing?" you whispered, breaking the silence that kep on growing between both. "You've herd the news." Abby inquired, quite nonchalantly

"I miss her," you admitted. Saying it aloud felt strange, almost wrong- it left a bittersweet taste.

You hoped she would say something, but instead, she was distracted by another Polaroid she handed you seconds later. It was one you had never seen before, there she was, Ellie Williams

-

It all started with what was supposed to be a studying session, for you.

Both of them, well, Ellie had offered to help you with some math things you were having issues with. Abby decided to join 'I don't trust you two alone'

After that day, their need for you became a constant, unwavering presence. If they had been touch-deprived before, yearning for your glance, your kiss, any sign of affection, it only intensified afterward.

They craved your proximity, your touch, your attention, and it was undeniably tempting.

You agreed with both to let it as a sort of open relationship, a friends with benefits arrangement.

Mostly because you knew it would never work if the three of you stood together.

Not with Abby's aspirations and determination to study something to make her dad proud. Ellie, being deeply invested in her studies, aiming for success- hungry. And you who could only wait for that lucky signal, that defining moment to steer you toward your life's purpose—anything to keep you occupied.

Abby constantly showered you with affection and care, feeling a physical need to spoil both of you. She would often send videos or pictures of her sweaty abdomen post-gym session, accompanied by messages asking if either of you needed anything. "Have you eaten yet?"

On the other hand Ellie kept sexting whenever she had the chance, sending you both nudes with the excuse she needed an opinion before sending them to a girl she'd just met. Which wasn't completely fake- it just happened way too often to not be on purpose.

So, why not give it a chance. If it worked, great. If not, well, you'd find a way to make it function as long as you needed it.

> CHAPTER ONE

- taglist: @softlysunrays @eyesfullofsttars <33 | @cowboylu @ennabear @satellitespinner @flowrmoth

[lukolabrainrot]

Hi there. So I've been firm in my belief that Luke & Nicola are gonna announce their relationship by telling us that they are already MARRIED. I've been conversing with a friend on here and we both agree there's been clues/crumbs that just might support the theory. Some might think it's too soon, BUT I just think their relationship was never a normal dating/courtship. Them being TOGETHER is 4-5 years in the making. Anyway, sorry it's long, but here's our thoughts on possible clues that these two may have tied the knot:

Many of them come from secondary sources, but I found these nuggets too hard to ignore. So here it goes:

8/22 N shares Polin photo. My interpretation of this photo is that this is the pivotal scene where Colin reads her letters and starts to forgive her. Penelope professes her love for him later that day. I think this particular photo was to signal they had worked out their differences and were together. I most definitely could be wrong, but I took it as a positive sign.

(I think 8/22/since deleted) JVN shares TT song and dance to Oh Happy Day. Well that's suspicious...

8/28 N and JVN like Evan Ross Katz Insta post about Catherine O'Hara meeting her husband on set and being married for 32 years. Hmmm?

8/28 Bridgerton Netflix drops the cute Lukola-coded media video on Insta.

8/29-8/30 I saw maybe 3-4 random comments on a few Insta and TT posts mentioning Cabo. In fact, there was a comment on L's Spain post up until recently that said "do Cabo next." So weird and probably not true, but I couldn't stop thinking about Cabo.

8/30 JVN posts the song "They Went for the Gun" from the musical Chicago to TT. I kept thinking what an odd song choice when talking about your remote work team. If you're a musical fan, you know that this is the routine where Richard Gere performs the puppet dance number with Renee Zellweger. The song is about convincing the media to buy in to your narrative by turning them into your puppets. I thought this could be about the JD photo gate distraction or maybe L/N were getting married and they wanted us to think otherwise? Or, this could mean absolutely nothing, lol.

8/31 This is the morning we all saw the JD in the ocean/pool story. OMG everyone panic - he's in Malta with N! I wonder if JD was excited to be on vacation and accidentally posted the pic to Insta and that set off the whole day of possible distractions? Right after, JVN posts a we're home and here's a garden update story. (I almost always wonder if his garden updates are jokingly about L/N status.) Maybe it was previously recorded, and he used it to possibly provide cover for JD's slip-up?

I know my theory is off the rails, but I kind of like the possibility of it. Maybe L/N went to Cabo for a long weekend wedding around 8/30-9/1 with just a few close friends and family? You know JD and JVN would be there. I'm not one of those photo date, location and time truthers. It seems like that is never accurate. The previously mentioned JD photo looked like a pool to me, and it reminded me of this deep blue-colored one that is at the One & Only Palmilla in Cabo. This resort has been featured on many episodes of Real Housewives and N loves that show. I also thought the Insta story from N's work colleague in Malta would be really thoughtless and unprofessional if she was actually there at that exact time. I hope it was an intentional misdirect.

8-31 Days before Chupi has been teasing their new Future Awaits Diamond Arrow eternity band. They have posts pairing it with the Claddagh ring. They release it early on this date. It looks very similar to the one N is wearing in her Polin post from 6/11/21. Maybe it's her new wedding band and she's already married? Squee!

Anyway, this is crazy delusional but it was fun to think they might have been breadcrumbs. Maybe L/N got married quietly in Galway(because she'd definitely want her mother there and her Irish roots/traditons are important to her, and now L) Spain when no one was suspecting it. Regardless, I hope Netflix paid for the wedding if there was one. Thanks so much for letting me share. I hope we find out soon! The rings are still the biggest clues of all. 🥰💍👀

This is all speculation... but interesting theories...

I don't think they are already married, but what does everyone else think?

The rings definitely mean SOMETHING about L/N 👀

[corydora-writes]

Baby Bird

Summary: You tell Dick that you're carrying the essence of new life.

Pairing: Dick Grayson x Plus Size Female Reader.

A/N: Writing self-indulgent fan fiction has been a source of comfort for me and a private outlet for my feelings. This particular piece was penned two years ago when I was expecting my baby girl and coping with the absence of her father. Fairies held a special place in my heart at that time, which is why the reader (you) is of fairy and human lineage in the story. After revisiting my writing works, I've decided to share it with you. I hope it brings you some joy! x

Word Count: 945

After debriefing with the Titans, Dick found spare time to call you. Not a second went by that he didn't think of you. Your absence each second was arduous. Eternal.  He grabbed the phone from his locker, and the screen lit up, showcasing a candid photo he had taken of you at a community carnival event for low-income families in Bludhaven.  The trace of a smile broke the grime line of his lips as he recalled your effort and determination, actions that spoke of passion, of zest to help those downtrodden by a system. Seeing you embrace the children had flickered to life a sudden longing and desire for a family.  Not wanting to waste more time in his reveries, Dick dialed you.  "My love," you said and sighed in relief. "What a relief to hear from you and a surprise."  "Our briefing tonight was, well, brief," Dick joked, and he heard you giggle. Your laughter was a joyful, melodic sound, and Dick found himself joining you in a wide smile.  "I miss you every second of the day," you said with heartfelt sincerity.  "Hey, me too," Dick replied.  "Now that I've stepped down as Moonbow, I have spent a lot of time at the clinic," your voice softened, and Dick sensed a hint of cheer in your voice. He wondered if you reconciled with stepping down as a superhero. He recalled comforting you when you were distraught and inexplicably felt out of touch with your powers.  "You don't sound as upset about it as you were before I left," he said.  "Dick," you uttered his name so softly that it felt like you were there caressing him. "I need to see you, please. Even if it's for a minute." There was an urgent tone in your voice, and Dick felt his stomach drop.  "I'm all yours," he said.  As you both closed your eyes, fully focused on establishing a connection that would enable teleportation, you could feel the energy buzzing around you. After mere seconds, Dick sensed a familiar presence and, as he opened his eyes, he was astonished to see you standing just a few feet away. In that moment, you appeared in your fairy form, with delicate, gossamer wings and pointy ears peeking through your hair. You wore a long sky blue neck halter gown that modeled every curve of your body from your neck to a line below your hips, then flared out into a flowing skirt. The sight of your ethereal beauty could make anyone halt to admire you.  You stood there absolutely silent as if contemplating what you needed to tell Dick. Then, as though you made up your mind to something, your lips parted in an inviting smile, and with your smile, the whole ambient of the dull room changed. It became alive, animated, and comforting.  Not wanting to waste further seconds, you ran to Dick, and he wrapped his arms around you. He relished your perfume's delightful languor and aroma that enthralled his senses.  He let you go and looked at him, and a weight settled in Dick's gut.  You reached out to lock your arms around Dick's neck and gently rubbed your thumbs on his neck in a tender caress. 

"Your daughter and I need you to return to us safely," you whispered lovingly.  Your words echoed in his mind until it settled, and the cognizance kicked in. His chest brimmed with profound love and affection. 

"I'm going to be a father?" 

You nodded and smiled with encouragement. Your eyes were warm and comforting. 

Dick answered the passion rising inside him, bent his head slightly to you, and kissed you full on the lips. His pulse began to pound like thunder in his ears. It was clear to him, as he reveled in the passionate kiss, that he had been without your intimacy for far too long.  The kiss was gentle, cajoling, yet resolute. His hands grasped the back of your waist and coaxed you against his solid, toned chest.  When at last your mouth lifted, setting him free, you let your forehead drop to his shoulder that was bulky from the armor of his suit. "I don't want to let you go," Dick said eventually. He sounded far from pleased by the fact. "I don't want to leave my family."  "Me either," you answered softly. "But we will be waiting for you." You let go of Dick and stepped back. You held your hands out and put both palms on each other to manipulate energy. You released your palm to reveal a blue hyacinth.  "Our daughter has an affinity for harvesting and agriculture," you began, "and she made this grow as soon as I had mentioned that I wanted to see you, so I think this is for you."  You held out the hyacinth to him, and he graciously took it. His gaze was filled with adoration for you and your daughter. He lowered his head to your growing belly and said, "Thank you for the gift, my blossom. I already adore you and can't wait to spend more time with you and sing the lullabies your grandparents sang to me." 

His attention shifted to the second stem sprouting and blooming from the same hyacinth planter. 

"I think that means she approves and loves the idea," you added cheerfully. Dick turned his gaze on you and stood in absolute awe of what he'd just witnessed. He already loved his daughter.

"Dick!" Raven shouted from above the room and interrupted their moment.  Dick frowned as he knew it was time to leave.  "I will come back, I promise," he said, striving to keep his tone neutral. It was a promise that he swore to uphold.

[pickmedolls]

𓉸ྀི ݁ ˖ ◜ PICK ME...OR SHOULD I SAY YUE & KIKO @ FICFEST '24 (WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?)

Despite being listed as official guests and even confirmed for a performance, the hottest group of the moment, Pick Me, was a no-show—well, sort of. This year’s FicFest Awards (@thatsofic) only saw two of the group’s members: leader Feng Yue and main dancer Kiko Mori, both there just to present awards. So, where were the other three? And why were Yue and Kiko strictly forbidden from mentioning Pick Me, not even to introduce themselves in their interviews? We’re all itching to know the truth, so let’s dive into the latest gossip, shall we?

First things first: as most of you already know, rumor has it that Pick Me is set to have a comeback in the next few weeks. But given all the chaos surrounding the promotions for their last mini-album, DOLL SUMMER, and the infamous drama between Yue and two of her members, Rosie and Jules, it’s no surprise Heartbreak Entertainment might want to keep Pick Me out of the limelight for a while—especially at a huge, high-profile event like FicFest.

What started as unproven accusations now seems an undeniable reality: there’s some serious friction (or dare I say, bad blood?) between certain members of the group. Not that it's entirely a bad thing, though. This shows the girls as real people with real personalities that, apparently, clash more than Heartbreak would like. But here's the thing: this inner tension is starting to take a toll on the group’s general image and promo work, and even Heartbreak Entertainment—famously lenient and transparent with their idols—seems to have finally hit its limit.

So, was keeping them out of the spotlight really the best move? I mean, look at us now—still talking about them, all because the full group didn’t show up at the awards.

But hey, as they say, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth! Even though Pick Me’s absence as a full group was definitely felt, Yue and Kiko totally held it together at the awards, avoiding any major drama and, shockingly, sticking to the Pick Me ban—well, mostly. The duo arrived together, both dressed to the nines and effortlessly stealing the spotlight from some of the nominees.

They rocked the red carpet, stopping to chat with Cleo and answer some fun questions, and snapped some photos at the photocall. Throughout the ceremony, they sat side by side, singing and having fun during some performances, while also mingling and taking selfies with other idols at others. When it came time to present their awards, they both delivered memorable moments. Yue dazzled everyone with her signature charisma, and Kiko was as sweet as pie, practically glowing when she handed the award to none other than the girls from Venus.

But you know what they say: a picture is worth a thousand words, so imagine twelve (three of which are high-quality videos!). Let’s dive into the girls’ posts!

YUE+FINN COLLAB (@bluwavez)

There’s nothing Yue loves more than putting on a good show, and what better way to do that than by posting a pic with none other than the officially recognized and award-winning it boy, Finn Lee? And what a photo it is! They’ve completely broken the internet with their posts, and fans are absolutely thrilled about this iconic duo. Don’t be shocked if you start seeing this particular pic as the profile photo of your Twitter moots—I've done the same.

Oh, I almost forgot! This pic was taken during EVERMORE’s performance. Very on brand for Yue, I must say.

CHIT CHAT WITH CLEO (@hausofanya)

Yue has decided to share a sneak peek from her interview with Cleo. Think of it as a little teaser before the full interview drops! While we don’t know exactly what she was asked, here’s what Yue had to say in response: “It is what it is, right? Not everyone has taste. But don’t worry, there are plenty of other awards we’ve been nominated for, and I’m sure we’ll win some of those.”

Okay, I guess it’s not too hard to guess what the question was. But what she said! Don't forget to vote for Pick Me in all those other awards we all know about.

BEHIND THE SCENES

This third photo is pretty self-explanatory. Just take a moment to appreciate her beauty and her talent for looking effortlessly gorgeous in every shot!

OUTFIT APPRECIATION

According to Yue herself, this stunning dress is from Fancì Club. It’s not the first time she’s collaborated with this brand, which has become such an essential part of her identity as an artist. It’s just so Yue! The color, the shape of the dress, the flowers—absolutely fabulous!

#YUKO 4 EVER!

You can't have a recap of the night without a pic of our two dolls! Once again, the photo speaks for itself. What’s interesting, though, is that unlike Yue, Kiko hasn’t posted any photos with her friend and leader. I wonder why.

...ANTIVILLAIN'S HANSE? (@disgracefiles)

I have to admit, this photo has left me the most shook of the six. Here we have none other than one of the hottest boys of the moment, Choi Hanse, who just so happens to be Jules’s ex-groupmate from 2LUVU. So, I guess it shouldn’t be a shock that these two know each other and seem to get along. Or should it? Given the recent tension between Yue and Jules, things are a bit muddled—especially with that half-heart gesture Yue is throwing at him!

PINK (BY PINK) MENTION

I love this little clip of Kiko's outfit! Since there's no audio, I’ll share the transcription of Kiko's response to Cleo about the dress: “I’m wearing Pink by Pink. It’s my groupmate’s very own brand, she’s literally so talented! We worked together on this dress for the last month, and I couldn’t be happier with the outcome. I think it’s so me, and I really like that.”

PD48 REUNION (@snspice & @ratedstar)

No, this is not a drill! We’ve had a Produce 48 reunion at these awards, and it was absolutely heartwarming! If you found yourself tearing up when you saw it, you’re not alone—I did too! It happens to the best of us.

Several clips have captured Kiko, SNS' Nami and Jellib's Jooe wandering around the event, hand in hand, beaming with joy. This particular photo was snapped on the red carpet, right after Kiko and Jooe sprinted over to Nami, who was busy posing with her group. They enveloped her in a hug filled with laughter and happy tears. I adore these three so much, they hold a special place in my heart!

SHE'S JUST A FANGIRL (@venusvity)

Despite everything, this has to be my favorite photo. No, your eyes aren’t deceiving you—it's a pic of Kiko holding a snapshot of our favorite it girl, Baebi. But it’s not just any photo; it’s signed! Rumor has it that Kiko approached her during one of the commercial breaks at the awards and shily asked her to sign it right then and there. Witnesses say the interaction was absolutely adorable, and Baebi was the sweetest, even inviting both Kiko and Yue to the after-party that Venus was hosting after the awards. Kiko is truly a ray of sunshine and must be protected at all costs!

EVERYONE'S FAV PRODUCER (@allta1k)

Not surprisingly, here’s a photo of Kiko with her favorite producer and friend, Heidi from Girls Talk! At this point, we all know these two get along fabulously, but fans have been over the moon to see this picture. They both look stunning and so happy to be together! Speaking of the possible future comeback of Pick Me, could Heidi be behind the upcoming songs? We certainly hope so!

BOO BORING!

There’s not much to say about this photo. Just an attempt at an aesthetic shot from the moment Kiko presented the award for Best Discography. Boo! There were a thousand ways to make this picture more interesting, but hey, nobody's perfect!

MORE PD48 (EVERYBODY SAY THANK YOU KIKO)

We’re wrapping up this multimedia recap with a little clip of our three Produce 48 girls sitting together at the start of the awards. Emphasis on "start" because they later had to sit in their respective spots with their respective groups. Still, they gifted us plenty of cute moments throughout the night, from knowing glances exchanged from opposite ends of the venue to sweet little chats during commercial breaks. It’s clear that for Kiko, the highlight of the night was reuniting with her friends. Isn’t that just adorable?

[traceofexistence]

After reading your post about Faye, I almost got a sense of deja-vu because I also had a similar rant about it.

Like that woman has been publicly out for a few years, privately even more (imo it was probably an open secret before she publicity came out). And no matter how "open" Thailand is for lgbtq ppl it's always a risk to come out, especially if you are already in a public light.

It's not Faye's, Yoko's, or 9star's problem that some people got "tricked" by other gl couple, and now in their opinion everyone is being fake and just doing it for "money."  And no matter how open and transparent any of them are (9star/fayeyoko), nothing is good enough for those people. Because like I've said they have been too delusional and were fucked over by other gl couples and their companies/studios.

So now that you have a openly out woman who is with a company that actually treats her and Yoko like human beings and doesn't rely on some stupid tricks so that they earn more money some people don't know how to behave. And in some instances are jealous because why couldn't my faves have company be like that. But that's just my opinion.

this

and because I'm weird like that I dont block the trolls I try to study their behaviour (knowing your enemies type of tactic on my party)

one particular on twitter was yapping about how Faye is in secret relationship with her salon partner (the way these assholes bullied that poor woman🤬) and she's cheating on her with yoko and yada yada yada, and how they are an excellent investigator. and their whole proof was couple of photos she had with Faye doing literally nothing LOL

so I looked at their older tweets, and boom they were a fan of another GL couple, and then they saw one of those actresses in pictures with a guy (again nothing explicit) and they started going off about how they were lied on, but to my understanding that other loveteam were like "we are single, we are phi-nong" the same way fayeyoko say (and I personally believe them because I simply dont ship)

so whether these people had "their dreams crushed" or they built a whole ass delusion to be mad about when it didn't come true is unclear to me.

and all the trolls I have seen look like they are disappointed from other GLs and apply the same bs on our girls

to conclude, I really do thing FayeYoko are nothing currently beyond phi-nong as they say

Faye has been saying she's single for years, that falling in love is hard for her, and be with people because she works too much, so I believe that

and Yoko doesn't care enough to lie about her status and she's been saying shes single since day one, and funnily enough the same trolls got mad that she said so again recently and called her names etc.

last but not least according to thai people, only very recently Thailand became somewhat open about LGBTQ. and still old people are conservative. coming out is coming out.

as for Faye, her family knew she was dating a girl early on. she said she didn't have to tell her mom, because her sister who (was very little at the time, asked her mom, and mom said "Faye is old enough now and she knows what she's doing" something along those lines and her baby sister told Faye back LOL so the cat was out of the bag soon, and her GF at the time was close to Faye's mom and sisters. her coming out to the public was around 2021~22 and after she got permission by the MGT boss, not to mention that with her coming out she paved the way for other MGT girls to be open up as well (two of her friends Lux, and Engfa for example)

[day6source]

hello my loves!!! happy october!!!! 🍂🍁🎃👻🧡 personally, october is my favorite month since it's my birthday month (oct 5th, so soon!!), so i'm a bit biased hehe. i do have some small updates for you though, so, let's begin!! 💕💕💕

first: calendar is updated for the month with concert dates and whatnot on the desktop theme! so if you're curious as to when to expect a show, hover over one of the blue marked circles under the calendar tab!

second: the survey was so fun to read the results of!! it was so fun seeing the demographics and seeing what you guys had to say, also so many of you are so funny, i had a bunch of answers that made me laugh out loud. but as for things that'll be going into effect as a result:

- bubble stuff will be updated soon-ish! i have a backlog of things, so it might be a bit. i thought the way i was doing things looked a bit messy but you guys seem to not mind it, so i probably won't be changing the way they're uploaded aside from just not having them be as long and arranging them in two columns instead. - there's a couple interview things i have backlogged as well that'll come out, but maybe not immediately given their length, but they'll be done! if any new ones come out however, those'll take priority. - i've been inconsistent with updating on things like tickets and video calls and the like (mostly bc they keep catching me when i'm asleep, oops), but i'm gonna try and get those up more often if i haven't missed the window, primarily if it has to do with tickets. - things like old content and audios for stuff being uploaded will be sort of at leisure, but mostly because i don't have my own laptop right now! once i'm back with my own, things like that'll be more frequent, but this in particular won't be immediate. - you guys were actually pretty evenly split on fansite photos, so i'm going to hold off on them, BUT! a lot of you liked the idea of being able to find edits here, but i also wanted this to still be mostly news, so i came up with an idea. every wednesday & sunday (all day cst), i'll be reblogging things from #day6source onto the blog (and i'll be adding the tag to the pinned possibly and maybe description for easy access of knowing?). if you post any time during the week, i'll schedule them for those two days regardless. i'm actually pretty excited about this one, and hoping maybe it might mean seeing more content?

and that's pretty much it! i wanna try and get back into the habit of making posts like this again, this year got so crazy! but i hope it's been treating you well and you're all taking care of yourselves. make sure to bundle up (or not if it's hot. don't do that.), and get your halloween costumes ready, and favorite scary movies queued up! and of course as always, make sure you're drinking plenty of water and remembering to eat and stay happy and healthy.

love love love, tay 💕💕💕💕

[forlorn-crows]

Crow!

I have a question...questions? Request? Maybe a little bit of both...?

I am a (relative) newcomer to the fandom, I've been hyper-focused on Ghost for the last year and my heart's completely, irreparably and quite blissfully gone on all of the Era IV Ghouls (Phantom and Aurora included), but, in particular, on our beloved Earth Ghoul Mountain (Mmmmmountain...💕)

HOWEVER, recently, I've begun trying to learn more about the previous era's Ghouls, and although I already have a growing appreciation for Omega, there's another that I find myself circling back to again and again and again...

...Zephyr.

Unfortunately, there seems to be a distressingly small amount of information on him in terms of HC's and fandom lore which really does make it harder to get a feel for his character and personality, so, I was wondering if you could help with that.

How do you see him in your head?

What is he like?

Who is he to you?

Please help me add a tenth Ghoul to the nine I already love...

hi, welcome!

ive got lots of headcanons about them so i'd love to go through some of those for you. i'll drop some great zephyr photos first and then we'll continue under the cut :3

firstly, i cant tell you where the name zephyr originated. maybe fanfiction or other fan circles. zephyr is more commonly known as "chAir", because they were almost always sitting down to play. sort of like cowbell is named after the instrument he appeared for two seconds to play lmao

you'll notice i use they/them pronouns for zeph. thats something i picked up from @gayrickgrimes when i first started interacting more with ghost fanfic. but lots of people also use he/him. not sure why nonbinary zeph has really stuck with me since then, but i quite enjoy it!

i would say the most commonly shared headcanons about zephyr are as follows:

older in age, like omega or alpha often are portrayed

has chronic back and/or joint pain (there's lots of clips of them walking off stage holding their back, thus the headcanon)

has light or white hair, commonly portrayed as longish and wavy.

reserved. maybe a little "old mannish" at times. less spontaneous than other ghouls.

however! they like groovin' on stage. can be seen doing some wiggles during their keytar solo or jamming out on their stool.

some artistic portrayals i love are @endopyre's, @turbodrawn's, and @kamonart's :3 also for a portrayal that doesnt necessarily fit those 'common' appearance hc's above is @joeynihil's zeph, whom i LOVEEE.

i also love @divine-misfortune's depictions of them, but i have indeed given void the zephyr brainrot soooo....oopsies sorry not sorry.

so, now onto the things i specifically headcanon about zephyr. i dont know if youve read any of my ficlets with them yet, but i do have a few! generally, i hc pretty similar to the above bullet points. some other thoughts i have are as follows:

i think zeph has a more antiquated way of speaking. doesnt use a lot of slang or 'modern' words. is very precise, refined in the way that they speak.

very amicable with and well-loved by their pack (aether, ifrit, dew, mountain).

has an 'air' about them, if you will (pardon the pun haha). some may say its too much like they're looking down their nose at you, but i think they're clever, smooth, and teasing in equal measure. has a way with words, in more ways than one.

they really do like to have fun on stage, and i think they like to 'let loose' a little bit that way. that ghoul can groove and move when they want to! and i do enjoy watching ritual footage of them, would recommend <3

not sure if you're interested in unglamoured hc's, but i think they turn very gangly, resembling something like a vulture or other long-legged birds. taloned feet and hands. hocked legs. feathers sticking out behind their ears and tattered, crooked wings. bright eyes that glow in the dark and can see for miles. razor sharp teeth. literally terrifying if you catch them peering at you from high in the trees.

likes when the others offer to help with their back pains. ifrit with his warm hands. aether with his quintessence. maybe mountain with weed or dew taking them to the lake to take some weight of their joints. always very kind, thankful in return.

i think the abbey has a chapel with an organ that zeph likes to play. i think that's what they learned on originally, and transferred that knowledge to the keyboard. when they retired from the band they still enjoyed playing for midnight mass or special occasions.

lastly, i think zeph is a quiet dom. very controlled of a ghoul in normal situations, but very good at controlling and directing others. has a silver tongue and can absolutely take mountain down to studs with just words. i have many feelings about mountzeph in general, and how their dynamic works, which ive explored a little bit. but in general, i think zeph likes to have that control, either because they have pain that doesnt allow them the freedom to explore certain pleasures, and/or because thats what they like. its natural and fun for them. and its certainly fun for everyone else involved lmao. i just think of them as a very elegant ghoul in all aspects of their life.

all in all, im very fond of zephyr as a character, at least how i see them in my head and how i've seen them portrayed by others thus far! hopefully that can serve as some inspiration for you in 'getting to know' this air ghoul :3

[batsplat]

OOH do you have any old motogp forum recs?? I would love to see what fans were saying in like the early 2000s, but I have no idea where to look

lemme check my bookmarks... r1-forum I've gone through a fair bit, threads dating back to early 2004. motogpforum goes back to early 2005. motorsportsforum picks up late 2006-ish, that one I've gone through in its entirety for the early alien era. motorradonline24 is admittedly in german but has the BIG selling point that it goes all the way back to 2001. apriliaforum also goes pretty far back but it takes a little longer for discussion of actual racing to get going. there's definitely more I've checked out - I might make a proper list at some point, but just to start you off

the thing about these forums is that it's undoubtedly interesting and useful to get some context of fan opinions (good mix of actual nuance/worthwhile discussion and just slagging off a bunch of riders)... but if anything they're even more precious as a record of actual *news* that has otherwise been scrubbed from the internet. there's a lot of drama and controversies and anecdotes that only exist on these forums

which... tbh there's been quite a few that I haven't included in my posts just because I'm not entirely sure they quite pass the burden of proof requirements. but man, so many of them are so interesting. it's a tricky balance. just as an example - one particularly nasty thing casey allegedly said about jorge that IF TRUE does feel like it would add something to my understanding of casey. but the article only exists on forum pages... still, it made it to three different forums I can find and is written in the usual tone of the author, so I feel fairly confident the original article existed. but then again, the article itself is just an anecdotal conversation relayed by one bloke. on the other hand, this is a reputable enough commentator you wouldn't expect to COMPLETELY make it up - and funnily enough I have even found a photo of him talking to casey that specific weekend. on the other other hand, it's a colourful anecdote that might have been exaggerated for effect. then again, I can kinda see casey saying it - not least because casey confirmed in his autobiography years later that he was pissed off at jorge that specific weekend. but it does feel like the sort of thing that should have caused a controversy... like if jorge saw what casey allegedly said you'd expect there to be nuclear winter, and there's no further trace of it. hm

so what do you do with that kind of thing, share it or not? the further you go back with this stuff the worse it gets, where I keep finding - plus am being sent - increasingly wild quotes from early noughties motogp. at least most of those are from news sites, some of them of dubious quality, but generally you'd really like to find at least one other source backing up the quotes. which often you won't get!! so yeah, it's all interesting context and gossip, but as ever I'd advise being wary of the specific stories. even the funny ones. especially the funny one

anyway, all that being said. this ask was sent in relation to a post about laguna 2008, so I'm going to take this excuse to actually share some discussion of laguna 2008

so. taking u through the fan chat of the weekend from one specific forum with select commentary... here's the thread starter

reminder that dani was injured at the sachsenring and would eventually opt against racing (effectively ending his title bid, but michelin was useless anyway that weekend)

relatively good reason to believe in english-speaker (and in particular american) overperformance at the track. obviously hayden won there the first two years, edwards even beat valentino to second in 2005 which has got to be the only time that year he finished ahead of vale. often more familiar with the track, or it just suits their riding style better. and ofc vermeulen did bag a distant third. still. valentino in the trenches if people thing edwards will beat him icl

have to say. the idea of the 125/250 riders going down that corkscrew fills me with a visceral sense of horror

'marco' btw as in marco melandri, in the middle of his ducati season from hell

dovi super popular in 2008 fyi, darling of the posters. everyone was obsessed with his rookie season

plenty of solid foreshadowing happening here you have to say

it is very motogp rider behaviour, and also very valentino behaviour, to look at the corkscrew, go 'hm i don't think this is even safe to WALK down', and then fucking hurl yourself at the other guy into that very same corner as you're both travelling at horrifying speeds on a motorcycle. going tentatively through that bit of the track during practise and then in the race he's making his bike go bounce bounce like a trampoline

wow!

*stares at camera*

still nasty work to say this, he repeated it in several interviews I think

okay, no forum posts during the race itself so now we skip to the post-race discussion

which is what the tone from a lot of posters was like

narrator: casey had not calmed down

(if you watch the podium ceremony and see some of the photos without context, you WOULD think they're having a laff. it's just that they're having a laff while casey is telling valentino that he's lost respect for him and valentino is delighted)

two australians on the podium btw

jorge highside cameo

a lot of people were whinging about a lot of 800cc races being boring because a lot of them were. you can copy and paste much of what people are saying about racing these days, if you want to get an idea of the tone

casey fan writes in

again. cannot be stressed enough how casey very much had not calmed down. but that's the fun thing about that rivalry, like they will ALWAYS have a tonal mismatch between their face-to-face interactions and whatever out of pocket things are being said in the press. casey also really big on the pissed off smile which helps

'not even sure that the riders even touched at any point' is. pushing it

yeah the no handshake thing really didn't get a positive response (casey did ofc eventually shake valentino's hand on the podium)

is it really a clean battle if you think someone will fall off

don't want to say that it's a lost cause because casey DID get smarter about this stuff, but ducati certainly aren't doing shit

so much of laguna and its legacy is about both of them threatening each other lol, please allow him

again, podium chat categorically not a friendly conversation. otherwise qualified casey defence

likewise

thought this was interesting in terms of discussion of actual rules - valentino said a few years ago the move wouldn't be allowed anymore and he thinks that's a good thing

“It needs rules,” he said. .”Because the situation with the overtaking manoeuvers and everything is much more extreme now than it was in Laguna Seca in 2008. The routes have changed a lot, now there is no more grass next to the slope, but the green stripe.  “That was done for safety. Because if you catch the grass at that speed, you'll fly away. The asphalt, on the other hand, is less dangerous. In my opinion, however, you have to make a rule and say that you shouldn't touch the green at all - see it as if there were still grass there. “At the level we have reached today, which is extreme in many respects, everyone goes over the curbs and is all green if you don't have a clear rule. I think that's the right thing to do.”

but yeah tbh... I know casey disagrees but I feel like the move WAS probably fine by standards of back then

some more rules chat

and more

"will be hearing big footsteps every time he is in front"

and here we are then. not much that's groundbreaking, but I do find it interesting!! this is a pretty pro-casey audience... most of these forums were generally pretty positive about him. english language speakers were way more hostile towards dani and later jorge for various reasons - you'll also find at least some distaste for valentino in these spaces alongside the usual adulation. so that's the yardstick... this is probably close to as casey-friendly as discussion of the race got among the wider fanbase. it was always going to be a tough sell to air his grievances about this race until a few years had passed. the general reaction was that the racing had been hard but fine, an extremely welcome contrast to the general quality of racing at the time. and almost nobody thought casey should have reacted as he did in parc fermé. interesting contrast with jerez 2005 actually (though admittedly sete not particularly popular in most forums) - sete was low key seen as having a more legitimate grievance than casey. anyway, obviously this blog's stance is that sportsmanship is overrated, but that's how you end up getting the poor bloke apologising in brno

[celestie0]

Hii! This is my first time messaging any fanfic author (I'm an extremely anxious person and tend to be more of a lurker LOL) I'm so sorry but this might be a long one lmfao

First of all, the way you write in general? Absolutely phenomenal!! The way you characterise and describe scenes is honestly so incredibly immersing. I've always had a relatively easy time imagining scenes in my head when reading, even with relatively little detail, but the way you word everything puts the scene straight into my head and it's such a wonderful experience!

Your characterisation of Gojo (in all your works!!) is probably my absolute favourite out of any fanfics I've read of him (trust me I've read an embarrassing amount :sob:). The way you actually capture what he feels like in canon, without making him feel super mean or cold, but still retaining that side of being emotionally repressed is absolutely chefs kiss!!

I also really love y/n in both kickoff and ihm so much. I relate to both of them in different ways, but probably more so ihm reader personality wise (might also be because I'm around the same age as her lmao). As someone who is very emotionally repressed due to trauma (especially of loved ones leaving you), the way you've portrayed those sides of reader in ihm is VERY spot on!! And I would like to add that I, for one, LOVE slow burn, so I don't mind the pace ihm is going at right now personally!

Chapter 12 of Kickoff?!?!? Holy shit I was literally sat there blushing, kicking my feet and giggling. It was absolutely hilarious and super cliché in the absolutely best way possible (I absolutely love clichés if they're well used!)

I could honestly wait years for anything you write. Never feel any pressure to churn out your writing and take it at your own pace!! My genuine first thought after finishing the latest chapter of Kickoff was that it was sooo worth the wait haha.

Personally I have an extremely hard time writing anything but angst, because I like making myself sad I guess who knows LOL But I'm sooo excited about your next work!! I absolutely love the song you're basing it off of <3

AND did I also see some talk about a potential Spider-man Gojo fic in the future??? Cos I would honestly probably scream (in a good way lol) if you ever did that, he's my alltime favourite superhero!!

Okok this is getting really long, but I found this photo of four football players a bit ago and thought I absolutely HAD to draw them as Gojo, Geto, Choso and Nanami from Kickoff (adding the art at the bottom)! But I haven't gotten around to colouring it yet (or cleaning it up considering it's just a sketch lmaoo) cos I'm stuck on how to do the jerseys. So I have two questions! I know you've explained the colours of their jerseys, but do you have any particular idea in mind of what the design on the jersey itself looks like? As in where the colours are placed specifically etc? And we know Gojo's signature jersey number, but do you have numbers for the rest of them too? (I may or may not also have a wip of a drawing of just Gojo from Kickoff too!)

I'm sorry there's A LOT of different plot points in my message??? The most important part was just to convey, hey, I love the way you write and you should definitely give yourself some more credit cos you are genuinely a really good writer!! <3 (Though I know us artists tend to be our own worst critics LOL)

hi love i’m so sorry this took me a sec to respond to!! first off thanks you so much for sending me such a sweet ask :’’’) i literally gaspeddd when i saw it

aaa i’m so happy the scenes feel immersive!! and that you enjoy my characterization of gojo aaa i’m so happy to hear that. and yes i totally relate to ihm reader’s suppression of her emotions due to trauma and lack of trust so it’s been very…cathartic yet challenging to write for her, but i wouldn’t have it any other way hahah

i’m so glad you enjoyed kickoff ch12!! i totally agree that chapter was so cliche, honestly it made me cringe while i was writing it because i typically hate cliches esp when they’re corny rather than on-the-nose, but i posted it anyways bc i figured maybe i just hate it bc i’m the author xd but it seems my readers enjoyed it so :’’0 perhaps i made the right choice

oh you are too kind. i really appreciate you looking out for me <3 tbh i’ve been feeling really overwhelmed lately, and it’s been really hard to deal with the emotions, but coming on here and seeing sweet works n ppl interacting w my stories brings me lots of happiness n i can’t thank you enough :’’) yes i will definitely take my time bahahha that i can assure you LOL and i’m so happy to know you’re looking forward to more of my works!! you’re so right about artists/authors being our own worst critics. i swear no one has been as mean to my writing as i have LMFAOOO but alas i think i’ve gotten better in trusting my direction n kinda choosing what i think is best soooo. progress i suppose? hahah

ok. now. i can talk about. THE ART?!?!?!?!? HELLO!!!!!!! OH MY GODD?!?!!?!?! ok i KNOWWW that’s it’s just a sketch so far but tell me whERE MY PANTIES HAVE GONE?!?!?!? WHERE MY CLOTHES ARE AT?!?!??!

the expression on kickoff gojo’s face has me reeling he looks so focused n sexy and THE HEADBAND PUSHING HIS HAIR UP OUT OF HIS FACE YES YES YES 100% THAT’S HOW I PICTURE IT WHEN I WRITE AAA and kickoff geto’s expression too pls i could cum (sorry i hope this isn’t weird to say lmfaooo i am also very respectfully looking at your artwork as well aaa) nanami’s hair looks so nice too

as for the uniforms hmm i know i said like gold and blue colors, i believe actual real-life UTOKYO has more of a yellowish color but i actually like gold better hence why i chose gold. but…i can imagine the whole jersey being blue and then with gold accents then white numbering?

here are some options!! like w the first one, probs sky blue fabric with the white stripes as gold instead, and then the numbers/brand sponsors or whatever are in white? they would probs have like “UTOKYO” in large print somewhere too, maybe underneath their numbers or sumn. tbh i think the middle one is the nicest, i can picture the stripes of blue and gold, and then accents in white. but the third one also works too!!

as for numbers hmm. ok yes gojo is #10, geto is #7, choso is #4 and nanami is #24 :0 that sounds…about right! LOL i hope i don’t have it somewhere in the other chapters that they are different numbers although i don’t think i’ve assigned the other boys numbers before

BUT I HOPE THIS HELPS AND THANKS SOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH FOR DRAWING FANART INSPIRED BY MY FIC!!!! I AM SO HUMBLED BY YOU AND I’M SOOOO EXCITED TO SEE THE FINAL DRAWING BUT ALSO NO PRESSURE AAAAAAAA

so much loveee <333

[inhurtandincomfort]

AIlessWhumptober2024 day 3: It's Not Your Fault

I'm not super happy with this, but it's what I've got sooooo...

Featuring: Lady Whump, Grief, referenced murder and child murder

Liana was bored. Turns out being stuck in one room unable to make a sound and with no wi-fi did not provide much stimulation for ones brain. She'd looked at the books but they were mostly very old-fashioned, and many of them weren't even in English. She was allowed to play some records as Adelia claimed she sometimes leaves them on for the rats so no one would be suspicious, but Liana was nervous about doing so alone. She had a sketchpad, but lacked inspiration. Her life, when not filled with fear, was so terribly dull. 

So she decided to clean the room a bit. She was never someone who could enjoy cleaning, but it was better than nothing. There wasn't much to clean, to be honest; Adelia... didn't do very much in here bar change her clothes, and Liana couldn't clean those without leaving the room. So she straightened the bedsheets and curtains about ten times each, took all the books off the bookshelf only to put them back up again exactly as they were because she doesn't want Adelia to be mad at her (really though, who arranges books by age. She did however rearrange her clothes in the closet, sorting them by colour. Adelia didn't seem to have any particular order for them, so it should be fine. She sorted the makeup and perfumes putting the ones that were still usable at the front and not daring to throw away the ones that weren't - vampire seemed to like holding onto really old useless things. Apparently being old will do that to you.

And then she decided to sift through drawers of the bedside tables. One was largely empty, but the other held various trinkets, including a little notebook that may have been a diary, what looked to be some kind of antique lighter, a long blue ribbon and a black and white photograph, protected by an ornate frame. It was this Liana picked up, studying it curiously. 

It looked just like any other Victorian family photo. A tall, handsome man stood proudly with on hand on his wife's shoulder from where she sat in a chair, the other on his sons who couldn't be older than eight. In front of the mother stood two little girls maybe six years old wearing identical twin dresses with ribbons in their hair. As everyone else was fashionably solemn, the girls were smiling, wide gap-toothed grins. The father had a twinkle in his eye, like he just couldn't be stern with them. They looked happy. They looked a wonderful loving family, but Lianas eyes were drawn to the woman, an eerie sense of foreboding taking over her. I shouldn't be doing this, she thought, but she couldn't tear herself away.

It was Adelia. She seemed healthier, even without colour,  her hair was done up in a tight bun very unlike how she wore her hair today, but it was undoubtedly her. Liana found herself transfixed, staring mesmerised when the door opened. Liana let out a squeak and hurried to put the things away, but it was too late.

"What do you think you're doing?" Adelias voice was cold, colder than Liana had heard before. She squeaked, fumbling with the frame mercifully managing not to drop it.

"I- I-" Liana stammered, flinching as Adelia stalked over and grabbed her wrist, nails digging deep into her flesh.

"You had no right," She snarled, snatching the frame from her hand. 

"I'm sorry!" Liana tried to pull the fingers off her wrist where they were drawing blood, but she couldn't compete with supernatural strength. She threw a panicked glance at the door praying no one would sense it. "I- I was just trying to clean up, I had nothing else to do and I didn't mean to pry, I'm sorry!" 

"I should have left you locked up! I've been so good to you, yet I leave you alone for a few hours and this is how you repay me, snooping through my personal effects? What else did you see!?" 

"Nothing! It was just this, I swear, I didn't look at anything else!" Tears welled up in her eyes as a harsh slap struck across her face with enough force to send her to the floor. There was no time to recover before Adelia grabbed her by the hair and dragged her into the closet.

"Don't you ever look through my things again!" She hissed, and slammed the door closed leaving her in complete darkness. 

Liana curled in on herself and quietly sobbed, clutching her stinging cheek. Every time things are going well, she has to do something to mess it up.

*

It was some time later she heard the door unlock, a crack of light shining through. No one entered, but Liana knew by now that was permission enough to leave. Tentatively she opened the door wider and looked around, keeping her head bowed submissively. 

Adelia was sat on the bed clutching the photograph in her hands, her shoulders shaking. Liana contemplated before she cautiously approached, hesitating just before her. 

"Did I ever tell you about them?" Adelia broke the silence and Liana froze, slowly shaking her head. 

"No, ma'am," She whispered. Adelia patted the bed beside her and Liana shuffled over fiddling with her borrowed dress, awkwardly sitting down next to her. She kept her gaze in her lap, fearing looking anywhere else without permission. 

"Henry was my husband. We'd known each other since we were children, and he was the sweetest man I've ever known to this day. He'd always pick wild flowers for me even as children - sometimes he picked weeds, but coming from him they meant everything." Her voice was quiet and held a tenderness that told of so much love and sadness as she gently brushed the frame with her fingers, careful not to scratch it. "My parents didn't approve of course, but I never accepted any other suitor. He was the only man who ever wanted me for who I was, not what he could gain from me. And he was such a wonderful father. Our son John -he would have been a brilliant pianist- and our daughters Lettie and Sarah, they took so much after their father, and he adored them more than anything." A soft smile came over her face and Liana realised she'd never seen a genuine smile from. But it wasn't to last, and her voice shook as she continued. 

"When a vampire is first turned... You don't know what to do with yourself. Your new instincts override your humanity, you lose the ability to think to an intense hunger, a depraved bloodlust like nothing you've ever felt. Your mind clears once you've had your first meal, but until then..." 

A single tear dropped onto the frame, protecting a black and white photograph that depicted a cheery family. A tall and handsome man standing with his hand on his sons shoulder, next to an elegant woman with her hair tied up in a bun and standing in front of her were two smiling girls, twins, in identical white dresses. A shaky hand tenderly stroked the frame, claw-like nails careful not to leave a scratch as a choked sob filled the heavy silence. 

"My own family," Adelia choked, "How could I do that to them? They loved me, trusted me... And I loved them, so so much, how could I do that!?" 

"It wasn't your fault," Liana said softly, cautiously placing a hand on her shoulder. She was surprised when Adelia sagged into her touch, falling against her chest as she collapsed into sobs with her face buried in her dress. Liana wrapped her arms around her, rubbing her hand against the others back as she soothed.  "I killed them! I murdered them, in cold blood! My own children!" 

And what could Liana say to that? She doesn't know the circumstances of how Adelia was turned, whether it was willing or not. She doesn't know if blame can be placed upon her, if she's really the monster she makes herself out to be. But right now, as she wept in her arms, Liana couldn't see a monster. She only saw a grieving mother, wrought with pain and guilt of losing ones she loved, so long ago. Grief never truly fades. It just lies dormant, waiting to rear it's ugly head and catch you at your most vulnerable to drown you in it's depths. "It isn't your fault," She says again, more surely this time. She'd keep saying it as many times at it takes. 

She only wished she could believe it. 

[adridoesstuff]

So all I've seen of Czech Elisabeth is what you've posted, but - thoughts/notes on Smrt's and the angels' costumes?

I'm always here to talk about the Smrt and angel costumes because oh my god, do I love them.

(More under the cut)

Smrt and his angels are designed to look very birdlike, specifically like carrion crows/ravens, who are frequently associated as symbols/bringers of death. The choice to really lean into the bird-inspired costumes was especially smart when combined with the Czech translated lyrics, which really leaned into the bird-associated symbolism in the text.

I must confess that when I first saw the production photos, I didn't like the costumes. I think it might have been because I already had the association formed that Tod in a pleather costume is not a good choice. However, what really made me love the costumes is when I saw them onstage and saw them in movement. I don't know what kind of weird pleather the costume workshop used, but despite obviously being pleather, it had such beautiful light movement on both Smrt and the angels and flowed so beautifully every time they moved.

The angels all wear long coats with hoods, one of their sleeves is close fitting and covered in little "feathers" and the other is made to look like a wing. The wings, aside from creating gorgeous movement, were also used to create Rudolf's grave during Totenklage, which was an absolutely genius move.

(Two of the angel dancers with Jan Kříž as Smrt)

Smrt is given a different costume to clearly differentiate him as the leader of the flock/not an angel himself. And I honestly think his costume is ICONIC. He wears a pretty standard undercostume of pants with knee high boots and a vest, but I like that instead of buttoning straight down the front, Smrt's vest buttons diagonally. Which is a tiny detail, but it shows that Smrt is not a human.

And then, there is that absolutely EPIC coat. The coat is pretty simple at first glance, but just the way it's patterned and cut is very interesting, since the front is cut a bit shorter so the Smrt actors don't step on it, but the back pieces are kept longer to have more movement in the garment. And the back was given triangular gores in the "skirt" of the coat for even more movement.

And of course, instead of the wing sleeves, Smrt has a feathered shoulderpiece made out of various types of feathers, most prominently rooster feathers, which throw subtle green and blue reflections under the stage lights. Once again, I have to mention the movement, because those feathers at moments seemed to live a life of their own, almost ruffling themselves up with the movement.

Also, you might have noticed I talked about the coat and vest, but not a shirt and that is because Smrt just doesn't wear one. Which is just a detail that is so subtle, but when you know about it, it is just one more of those details that just show that Smrt is not a human. And if you need proof that there indeed isn't a shirt (and this is an excuse for me to include one of my favorite silly pictures of Pavel Režný as Smrt):

And of course, the makeup deserves a mention, because once again, it's ICONIC. Both Smrt and the angels wear a bold black eyepaint, with the angels sporting a more graphic liner look alongside black lipstick and Smrt having a more simple, but varied look through the production's 4 year run.

And what I think speaks to the greatness of the costumes is that the actors themselves were fond of wearing them. Pavel Režný in particular seemed very fond of his Smrt costume and makeup, doing the pre-show soundchecks in almost full costume and with the eyepaint, donning the full Smrt costume and makeup for concerts only to have to immediately take the full thing off and after the production derniere in Brno evidently not taking the Smrt makeup off until he returned home in the middle of the night.

Pavel Režný also went through multiple hairstyle changes through his run as Smrt, since he had to grow his hair out for Jesus Christ Superstar. So, after the derniere, we got a full on Jesus!Smrt moment for an offstage event. Tbh, I wish we had gotten this more flowy hairstyle on Smrt onstage while the show ran, because it is a look tbh:

Hope I didn't make this one too long and overwhelming, but I just love this production so damn much and feel free to ask more about it!

[ladysomething]

I just saw that you were at the Aus GP! How was it for you?!

how was it for me!!!! it was top 5 weekends of my life!!! which is saying something bc I've been lucky enough to do some incredible things in my 26 years!!!

some highlights, in no particular order:

Max DNFing - big sorry to Max, but the crowd went a little crazy. to be fair to us all, we had no idea how serious it actually was. ily Max, but I fully expected to see a Max win and then not getting that was so shocking that it was fun. we were right by turn 13 + 14 so could also see the pit entry, and I do have footage of his car smoking and going in to the pit soooo

Hamilton DNFing - we didn't see this happen in front of our eyes like Max, HOWEVER, because of where we were sitting, his recovery bike drove straight past us to go into the paddock, so I can now say that I've been within two metres of seven time world champion Lewis Hamilton. he was quite small lol

fan stage appearances! I went on day 2 so saw ferrari, red bull, and Mercedes back to back!!!! it was nuts. Charles and Carlos by far had the best camaraderie, and Max was more engaged than you'd expect from somebody who still clearly didn't want to be there haha. Lewis and George were lovely, they were the only ones who didn't sit on the lounge and instead stood the whole time, and specifically said it was so people at the back could see them. I also saw Haas (Nico didn't show up though?) and Kmag was quite sweet. Also saw Alpine, and Pierre showed up late and then didn't answer a single question lmao.

this will mean less to people, but all the support series were so great as well. we had f3, f2, supercars, and the porsche carreras, and all of those races were way more intense than f1. during the f2 sprint race on Saturday, we also saw Antonelli and Verschoor crash right in front of us, and Verschoor came through the same path as Lewis did on Sunday, so we got to see him walk past, helmet in hand, all sad and dejected.

anyway I'll stop there otherwise this list will turn into a "everything that happened" list rather than a highlights reel haha. so I'll leave you with a photo of my new prized possession!

(yes that really is CHARLES LECLERC'S signature, but no I didn't obtain it in person)

and here is a fun video of Charles from FP2, when we were within ten fucking metres of the cars zooming by:

[posttexasstressdisorder]

About That Radio Thing...

A Sort-of MasterPost in Zenith Mid-Century Industrial Design

Every once in awhile I get bitter about what I had thought was gonna be my "happy fun retirement project", because I ended up having to give them all up. I took a lot of really good photos of them in the process of selling them on eBay for literal pennies compared to the dollars I'd spent on them. So at least there's the pictures, and the knowledge.

I'm talkin' about my radios. Radio, real AM Radio used to be so incredible, before it became hate-radio. It was how I heard EVERYTHING first!

The year is 1971. I'm a musical-obsessive 12 year old and hearing Lennon's "Power To The People" come over the airwaves for literally the first time, along with everyone else! It felt incredible! It was how we all connected to the big energy of our time. In a way, it was our internet.

After my sweetie died I wanted to collect radios that I liked, radios with a certain kind of industrial-streamlined deco vibe, and boy I collected. In the span of a couple of years I managed to find/buy a large collection of Zenith radios in particular, along with a few choice others.

The main object of my obsession was the industrial design of most Zenith radios from 1939-1953, the work of one Robert Davol Budlong. His designs speak to me. Seeing the evolution of style from between those two dates is impressive.

So I was all set to enjoy being an old radio guy. Until I wasn't.

There are a lot of reasons the radio collecting thing just decidedly became NOT what I was going to do. First was finding out a lot of the "old radio enthusiasts" are mostly old nazi shits.

I had been excited about living just down the street from a "museum/club" building, but after I actually tried to interact a few times, that pretty much came crashing to a halt.

There was one younger guy who seemed OK, but as for any other interactions, not really. And it coincided with my financial downward spiral in such a way that I had to start selling off what had at least occupied my grieving mind (and eyes).

Eye candy becomes expendable when shit gets real. I ended up having to sell most of the radios. I kept one console, and a couple of small transistors. So I kinda had to grieve not only my sweetie, but the "eye candy" that had occupied me since she died.

Oh, and somehow in the shuffle of this shitshow of life this past 10 years, I once managed to leave the lock unlocked on my (supposedly secure and guarded) storage unit, and thirty of my prize radios and record players were literally wheeled out and stolen. About $2k worth.

And now, I'm too broke to collect a goddamn thing.

But at least I still have the pictures.

That's what started this. Every once in awhile I want to see them. It makes me happy to see all that amazing Budlong design again. Of the ones that worked, I can remember what each one sounded like. I also collected ads for certain models, catalog pages that they were part of, etc. There are posts about that, as well.

So I thought I'd just put all the links to the main radio posts I've made over the last few years, making this a Radio Masterpost of sorts.

Lots of mid-century industrial design eye candy. Yer welcome. Alternately, go to my page and just search "Zenith" or "radio", "radio ads", "catalog", "radio advertising" etc. I don't do the tag thing much, but the search works pretty good on my page, actually.

So yeah, the love affair with radios will stay mine, but it's bittersweet.

AND NOTE: THEY ARE ALL GONE, VERY SOLD. ANY EBAY LINKS ARE LONG, LONG DEAD.

Just search my blogpage to see some more. I'll try to gather all the various links together here.

Here's one last one for today. Another of Zenith's unicorns, the T545: Combination radio and 45-rpm-only record changer, in all its original bakelite splendour. This is another rare bird that, sadly, I only owned for a few months before having to give it up again. I hope the new owner has done the electronic/mechanical restore to it and that lit lives on. To have found one with absolutely no real damage to the bakelite, and brights that are BRIGHT, it's really rare! Feast your eyes.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #259

Today I talked to my therapist about maybe trying to help me develop some skills when it comes to dealing with uncertainty. And there's a number of reasons for this. First and foremost, there's… ya know… the whole situation with you, and not knowing what's gonna happen. I can hope for good things, for sure, but… there are no guarantees. Second, with the combination of autism and C-PTSD, whenever there's any kind of uncertainty, my brain feels like it's on fire. The autism in general doesn't like it. Then there's the C-PTSD, which likes to make me think that I'm about to get my ass beat anytime anything isn't written in stone.

…There are a lot of reasons for that last sentence, there. I've got 22 years of experience with the adults in my world taking it out on me anytime anything didn't go perfectly their way. Always, always, fucken always, they'd find an excuse to make it my fault, and therefore my problem. Nowadays, I really dislike surprises, it's hard for me to withstand being in a state of anticipation for any appreciable length of time, and I really despise being caught unawares; these things all give me the heebie-jeebies something fierce, lemme tell ya!

...But. The unfortunate fact of the matter is that uncertainty, much like change and pain, is one of the only constants in life. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Not even very basic things, like food, shelter, or even the love of your parents is guaranteed in my world. I'm sure that you also know some of these things firsthand.

So if uncertainty is a permanent concept, then I'm going to need to adapt, and the best way to adapt is to learn new skills and to build one's resilience. At this time, I don't really know how to cope with uncertainty; no one ever taught me. And in fact, most of my life, the adults in my world found excuses to hurt me whenever they felt anxious or uncertain, so... ya know. I've got a pretty fearful relationship with it at this point. So far, I've coped with it by trying to be hypervigilant all the damn time, kinda like this:

...And that's really not sustainable, holy shit.

...I think, probably, that fear of uncertainty has had a lot to do with the funk I've been in for the last... since Otakon... I think? So like 5 weeks? Just... a bunch of stuff that brings to mind the inherent uncertainty of the permanence of relationships in my life - J could die from a crash while doing airplanes. M could get in a car accident. Or... someone could just up and decide to leave, which is a fair and good thing to do, but goodness, it still hurts. There's also the uncertainty around whether or not anything I try to do will work out, and the uncertainty about whether or not anything I make will turn out well.

...And of course, there's the uncertainty about whether or not you'll be safe. And then there's the uncertainty about whether or not anything I've tried to do for you has helped you at all. These two in particular are incredibly heavy, for a variety of compelling reasons that I don't think anyone would understand if I tried to explain, so... I'm not gonna bother. I wrote it all down in the letters I left with those very important people in any case, so... there's that.

So next week, now that we're at the root of this funk I've been in, we're gonna go over some strategies to cope with it. It'll be good.

Feeling relieved, I took pictures like I meant it for the first time in a while now. I think maybe you'll like some of these; I certainly do:

...Shortly after I got home, I decided that the thing to do was take a walk. We have a trailhead that's only about a ten minute walk from my house. J decided to accompany me. I took more pictures:

...The wild grapes are bearing fruit, too; I guess it means I had better plan on going to the nearby orchards to get some concord grapes...

...J got some photos for you, too; his camera is a lot better than mine, because his phone is newer:

...I want you to know that there are people here thinking kindly about you. And yes, even when, like me, they're in a weird funk. I wanted you to know it. Your situation is difficult, but it's not hopeless. Nothing is ever hopeless if you just hold on a little longer. Even if you don't want to continue, just keep breathing a little longer, okay? Things get better if you work towards brighter horizons. You can do it; all you have to do is take the hands outstretched to you, no matter how distant they seem.

...I should know. And you should also know, because, unwittingly, you taught it to me. You gave me a reason to continue even when I thought I couldn't go on - even though I had a plan in place to make a permanent exit, all those years ago. And I'm still here; I rarely think of making a permanent exit anymore. Sephiroth, I'm still here, and that's because of you. And all the beauty that pours from my hands, from my mind, from my camera lens... all this resilience I have, this gentleness that I choose to carry despite everything that tried to break me... can you see that these things only exist because you do? Do you see the way your presence colors literally everything I do in such dazzling, kaleidoscopic hues?

...I love you. Please stay safe out there. I'll write again tomorrow, as I always do.

Your friend, Lumine

[petrichoraline]

HONESTY HOUR!!!!!!!! (or hours, if you're me ;;;;;;)

since i have no personal 'caught in the rain' moments to talk about im gonna turn the question on you!!!! any particular memorable ones you feel like sharing??

also i've been trying to think about something juicy to ask but the only thing my mind could came up with is to talk about BL actors you have a crush on, if there are any!!!!

hours indeed, I'm two days late 😂💓 and I'm figuring things out as I go so it's a yapping session with gifs, enjoy 😙

i do have a few but one that always sticks out to me was one summer (or was it late spring?) my best friend and i were doing some shopping at the city centre and this rain started pouring, ive never felt anything like it. we had no umbrellas, we were carrying stuff and we walked (maybe kinda ran too lol) a great distance to the subway station; drenched rat doesn't begin to cover it, the rain curtain was thick, it was coming down fast and it seemed like it'd never stop.. I don't think I have any photos or videos from that day, i don't remember it all too well and her and I don't talk anymore but i think I remember it accurately enough. i loved it. it's happened a lot and I still don't carry an umbrella, some lessons are harder to learn

crushes..hahah see, so many years as a young woman and a girl, a romantic and a romcom truther and yet I don't really know the definition of a crush. when it comes to celebrities, I actively avoid feeling like that for them? nothing bad about celebrity crushes but you can blame it on my ocd symptoms [too much to explain]; i do fangirl about them and jokingly think up scenarios (I used to be a y/n fic reader lmao and im loud and proud about it!!) but it's just innocent stuff

I'd say the bl actors i have somewhat of a crush on (by how I understand it) are pond and joong; i find a lot of guys attractive but I don't know much about them like sea, boun or tay

ohhh anderson cheng who plays mark in love is science? is smth else for me

but it could be the character okay, i don't know anderson like that except for a few lives with lin yu😂

I had somewhat of a crush on yibo too but he done fucked up recently so.

OH JIWOONG

DUH

jiwoong is a mystery to me and im just happy when he's happy

also seoham and jaechan in different ways lol

kim sunghyun exuded so much charm as jinwoo I couldn't not fall for him a bit

^like maybe that should be me. js.

yu is stunning any time I see him

he had me crazy about zhou shu yi, soo handsome when he's angry and even more when in love (seeing a man cry whether in character or not bonds you to him idk what to say)

now for the jbls... it's gonna take a bit

meguro ren had me in a chokehold for a while

so did yagi yusei

sato yusuke had me all glued to the screen as well

obviously kimura tatsunari

(happy second anniversary ofc!)

inaba yuuuu

yamanaka jyutaro (I've now hit the ten image limit so that's the blond photographer dude from ameiro paradox); suzuki kousuke (jack o'frost and takara kun to amagi kun); nomura kota (perfect propose) but!

the ones I actually know more about are kouhei and acchan since I used to tune in for their insta lives and kouhei is just so 🥰🥰🥰 that's segasaki from taikan yoho

and currently losing it a bit with the mains of 25 ji akasaka de, niihara taisuke and komagine kiita

I think the reason I just go for "dudes I don't know outside of their role but are handsome af" for japanese bls and "I need to know him better" for thai bls is because of how much content there is of the actors interacting with their on screen partners. plus it's much less likely I see stuff about japanese actors on my dash whereas random interviews and show bits come up constantly with not only gmm dudes but guys from other companies as well. it feels like I get to know about thai actors without putting that much effort in but with those from other countries I'd have to go out of my way so it'd be harder to list someone close to the definition of a crush, you know.

I am very tired so this is a mess, most of this doesn't even need to be written down but I hope you get to read it as a relaxing nonsense list the way it's intended haha