#i'm supposed to be very good at everything instantly and never need any HELP. what about that is so hard to understand

[arodrwho]

how to stop caring what people think of you

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Story idea: Helion finds out he is going to be a father. Thank you !

Be gentle with me. I've never written for Helion.🥺 (part II)

A second chance

It was something that Helion wanted so deeply. Behind his show-offish demeanor. Behind all the confidence and slightly cocky attitude. There was a man who just finally wanted to settle. He didn't want to play games any longer. He wanted to have a happy home to return to. The bright walls had started to cave in on him. Pushing on his senses. Making him uneasy.

You were his haven at the end of the day. Where he was just Helion. No a high lord. Just Helion. With all of his flaws and imperfections. Where he didn't have to hide. Because he knew you would love him regardless. You two had been friends for ages. You had watched him fall in love with lady autumn. Had been the one to help them sneak around. Until that was crushed into nothingness. Until Beron had crushed her into nothingness because he had found out. Until he had done everything to get rid of her. The grief was immense. And it nearly took out the high lord himself but you were there. Always there. Holding his broker pieces for him until he could do so himself.

"Lady Y/N", the servant bowed his head as you approached the upper levels of the library where Helion usually worked. You knew that he had been busy. There had been a lot of new agreements and terms that needed to be put to place now that day court was working closely with night court. "Is high lord in his office?", you asked softly, brushing the hair away from your shoulder. The servant nods his head, "The usual order stands. I can only let you in", he says smiling softly and you return the gesture.

Helion seems to not notice your presence at first. The place is a mess. He let it go so untended. But then again most of the time it was you who cleaned it for him. Organized everything. Just you had been feeling under the weather the past couple of weeks. Barely wanting to leave your chambers. Just having this unimaginable urge to sleep. A twirl of happiness jumps within you now that you know why.

You step closer and Helion's head shots up. His dark skin gleamed in the early evening sun. The frown on his face instantly turns into a light smile at the sight of you approaching. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed?", he asks softly, pushing the chair back so he could make you more space on his lap. You hum, "Trust me, would love nothing more but the healer told me to move as much as I can", you settle yourself down onto Helion's lap. Hands instantly move to cup his face. He kisses you with the same longing until he pulls away, frowning himself, "Healer? You saw a healer and no one came to inform me?", his eyes dart towards the door where you know that the guards would be getting a lecture later on.

"You know I'm good at sneaking around", you tried to joke slightly but you saw no amusement on Helion's face. Your health, anything that revolved around you being well he took very seriously. "I'm fine", you say softly, leaning your forehead against his, "We're fine". You feel Helion's body freezing. Then his mind is moving so fast you can practically feel him thinking.

"Sweetheart...", he breathes out, eyes falling to your stomach, "I'm with child. Your child is growing here", you reach for his hand, placing it on your still flat stomach. Helion's big eyes are watching you. To be frankly honest you didn't know what emotion you were experiencing to see. Because family topics had been complicated for a while. He didn't get to see his firstborn grow. Gods, he didn't even know he existed until a couple of months ago. And that had wounded him deeply. Helion never believed that he would even get a chance to build a relationship with Lucien because there was nothing there. The male looked at him like nothing but a high lord. No father. No future relationship.

"Say it again", Helion pleads, eyes suddenly glossing over. "There's a baby here, growing strong and healthy. Waiting to meet...", but you don't get to finish because Helion jumps up with you still in his arms. Twirling you around till you're screeching. Laughter booms from his lips and he's practically glowing. It's like the sun suddenly has gotten brighter.

"Hey", the high lord falls to his knees right in front of you. Both of his palms cupped your stomach as he leaned in pressing his head against your chest, "I'm your dad", he whispers. He looks up at you to silently ask if this is okay. If he is allowed to do this and you urge him to continue. Do what feels natural. Until he's kissing all over your tummy, hands on your hips. Your fingers lazily scratch the back of his neck and you let him have this. Have this moment of peace. This moment of experiencing something he had been longing for. Being more than happy that you got to give him this chance at becoming a father all over again. "So loved, so loved", Helion mutters under his breath, "I'll forever look after you and your mom".

[thosewildcharms]

Hi, do you have any headcanons about Rick with RJ and Judith after TOWL?

sure! most of these are about the grimes family as a whole because michonne is the beating heart of the family yk!!

under a read more because apparently i had more to say than i realized (shocking). some of these are copied from previous posts!

antony azor who plays rj is apparently very shy and reserved but opened up unexpectedly with andrew lincoln and so obviously this is also exactly what happened with rick and rj. father and son bonded INSTANTLY

part of this is because rj (like antony) is very shy and reserved and rick gets that and so they can just be quiet together and still feel like they're bonding. as rj gets older, whenever he needs to think something through he asks rick if they can do some sort of project together, and through that he works through whatever he has going on.

his first night back, judith asks rick to finish reading the wizard of oz to her because he never got a chance to. it takes a good five minutes for him to compose himself but she does finally get the full story from her dad. michonne and rj join them because they both love hearing stories the most when rick is the one telling them.

I think rick definitely got back into farming post towl since that is his ~zen place. judith and rj have the idea to grow flowers for michonne, and the three of them plant her a small private garden as a surprise. they even build her a little bench to sit on and everything. after it's finished they have all their family picnics there :')

I think this is less my personal headcanon and more a collective fandom headcanon but rick DEFINITELY does call rj "junior" and he is the ONLY one allowed to do so. If anyone else tries they get the rick grimes head tilt and squint from both of them.

they as a whole family have all kinds of Secret Family Things (like the code names for security shoto/daito/brave man/little brave man). for example they have a family whistle that has different variants for different ~situations. it's kinda silly but they all get very into it and take it very seriously!

speaking of family rituals, family dinner is REALLY important to them!!! I'm always thinking about that one dinner scene in early season 9 where michonne, judith and rj are quietly/sadly sitting in that dark dining room with that empty chair where rick is supposed to be. NOW their kitchen is bright and loud and cheerful and they all cook together and use herbs and spices from their family garden :')))

during the week or so leading up to judith and rj's respective birthdays, Rick gives them each a gift for each year he missed. like an advent calendar of missed birthdays. Idk what he gets them exactly but rick king-of-gift-giving grimes would figure something out. michonne helps out a lot by filling him on the things they both enjoyed throughout their childhoods

(he does the same for michonne btw. a gift for every year he missed. they never cared about birthdays before but he's still making certain things up to her)

now that rick and michonne are back together they find it much easier to talk about all the people they lost. judith and rj's favorite stories are the ones about their brothers, carl and andre.

i love the idea of scene very similar to the one in towl 1x05 where richonne get mugged only to turn the situation around in .5 seconds only this time it's the whole family being badass and intimidating to a stranger who thought they could try it

as we know from towl, rick and michonne are fucking insane :') but eventually they realize judith and rj out-crazy both of them combined (much like carl did, rip king) and they are EXTREMELY proud :')

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

You want the bad guy.

Phillip Graves x Fem Reader.

You're at a very private and elegant party, but you're bored, looking at everybody until a certain guest comes to make you change your opinion about this evening.

Warning: maybe some violence, grammatical and spelling errors. 📢 Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Your boyfriend insisted you need to attend this event, his family is very famous, he will be the next one to own the familiar company so he's trying to prove he's capable of handling the responsibilities.

It has been a long evening, you're wearing a long light rose dress and high heels, walking around the saloon, smiling graciously, trying to memorize as many names as possible, your feet hurt a lot but you're trying your best to support your boyfriend, but you really need fresh air, you delicately squeezed your boy's arm to not interrupt his conversation with some stranger.

- Honey, I think I need some fresh air.

- Oh, yes, Go ahead darling, anyway I was telling you...

You sighed and walked to the closest window, a waitress with a tray full of champagne glass cups offered you one that you instantly accepted.

The fresh air is helping you a lot, it's a warm spring evening to wear that stupid dress, but your boyfriend insisted, you would rather be at home or Walking at the beach than here.

Breathe in, breathe out, eyes closed, just you and the fresh air on your face and the taste of champagne on your lips.

- Good evening... Pardon me, young lady, Do you mind if I join you? I just need some air, it's too warm here.

You didn't open your eyes just nodded.

-Are you someone's date or simply another guest?

You sighed, goodbye to your peaceful moment, you opened your eyes and looked in the direction where the voice came from.

- I'm...

Woah, who is this man, you haven't seen him before in these parties, definitely a new face, he's a very attractive stranger, wearing grey smoking, black shoes, no tie, the perfect mix between elegant and casual enough for an event like this. You didn't respond, you were too busy staring at him, from head to toe.

- Is everything ok? Do you like the view?

- all good, sorry, I'm y/n, it's just... I have never seen you before Mr.?

- Graves, Phillip Graves. You have a beautiful name, Y/n.

- Thank you so much, Sir.

- Oh there's no need for such formalities, feel free to call me by my name.

You were going to say something else until your boyfriend's voice joined the conversation. His arm around your waist, he never grabbed you so tight before.

- Graves. What are you doing here?

- Connor, I'm a guest at this event, your parents were too kind to invite me.

Your boyfriend smiled falsely at him.

- I see, well, I suppose you already met my Girlfriend.

- For sure, the most precious lady of the night.

- Y/n, Graves works for the army, killing people for money, a very fancy job.

He was trying to make Graves uncomfortable, such a pathetic try. Graves smiled kindly at both of you.

- Every person has his own opinion about his job Connor, for example, you say I'm just a murderer but in my opinion, while you're just posing for magazines saying you're the future of your parent's company and organizing these stupid events, I risk my life to make the world better or at least to make my own world better.

Your boyfriend's blood was boiling. Graves was savouring his little victory.

- oh well, you're totally right man, I guess everything is about perspective. Did you come alone or is there someone accompanying you?

- I'm alone at the moment, maybe by the end of the night I will go home with a beautiful woman walking by my side.

He looked directly at you, You blushed and smiled at him, your boyfriend looked at you and kissed your cheek.

- Well, I wish you luck with that, we still have some other guests to attend, enjoy the evening.

- it was a pleasure to meet you Graves.

- Pleasure was all mine my dear.

Your boyfriend literally dragged you with him, he was angry, both walked were his parents where.

- Can you explain to me what he is doing here?

- Connor, leave the past behind, he's a gentleman and also one of our most important investors now. We need him to be happy.

You don't understand why he's so mad but you wouldn't ask, he looked at you with dead eyes and held your forearm, hard enough to leave a mark, both walked out of the saloon.

- What did he say to you?

- Nothing, he just introduced himself.

- Don't you dare to lie to me Y/n...

- Ouch! You're hurting me, babe, leave my arm. I swear he didn't say anything else.

He finally loosened your arm, he didn't even apologize, he just fixed his tie and hair, looking at his reflection in a window.

- Let's go back inside, don't you dare to leave my side, I don't want you to be alone with him...

He noticed some tears on your face, he sometimes acts too violent with you.

- Don't cry y/n you will ruin your make-up! Don't make me more angry huh, you don't want to make me mad, Don't you?

You just neglected with the head.

-Fine, you have 5 minutes to recover.

he walked inside and you stayed there, fixing your makeup, hair and went back to the party, once there you stayed behind him all night, feeling Graves eyes on you, he was observing every curve of your body, your face, your lips, the deep neckline of your dress, you're not uncomfortable, there's something about the way he looks at you that makes everything more... Enjoyable. Maybe you couldn't be close to him, but your boyfriend never said anything about flirting.

You were walking around in a very seductive and slow catwalk, the way you're holding your glass, the way you bite a chocolate covered strawberry, how some juice of the fruit is running through your lips, it's too much, Graves couldn't be away from you anymore, you weren't intending to make him approach you, you were simply enjoying the attention he was giving you.

- Connor, your girlfriend looks a little bit bored here, will you allow her to dance with me?

Your boyfriend's face was in flames, he couldn't be rude and said no in front of the group of people who he was talking to, so he simply nodded.

Graves didn't waste time, he took your hand softly and guided you to the dance floor, once there, his hand was now resting on your waist, your bodies were too close, you were avoiding his eyes, just enjoying the slow music on the background.

- What's wrong little one, you've been flirting all night and now you're too quiet and distant.

- We shouldn't be doing this. He's not happy.

- Why not? It's just a dance darling.

- Why does he hate you?

- Your boyfriend is a jerk, during our teenage years we were like friends and enemies, always competing. I'm clearly better than him tho.

- Are you? How can you be so sure?

- I'm sure I am, just to start to compare us. I wouldn't hurt such a beauty like you, don't think I didn't notice your forearm, or your eyes. You cried. He's too idiot, not good enough for you.

You were going to leave, but he made you spin and then captured you between his arms once more and whispered in your ear.

- Y/n, I'm sure I'm not wrong, you want adventures, adrenaline, passion, love, you want the kind of man who would burn the entire world just to see you smile. And Connor... Well, he's nothing like that.

You stayed in silence, you know he's right, your boyfriend possesses money and luxury but he's certainly not the man you believed he was.

You always dreamt of the kind of man who would protect you as if you were the most delicate and precious diamond, the bad guy who would kill for you, die for you, he would risk all he has, just for you. That's what you wanted. What if Graves is this man? Before you could say something the song was over, Phillip and you went back to where your boyfriend was.

- Thank you Connor, she's a gem.

He shook his hand with your boyfriend and before leaving, he looked back at you.

- Oh! And Y/n, think about what I said, ok?

The night continued peacefully, so peacefully that it scared you. You and your boyfriend were saying goodbye to some guests, both were out of the saloon once again, you started to walk inside when your boyfriend pulled you by the hair and crashed you against a wall.

- Do you think I'm playing or that I'm stupid enough to not notice how you've been offering yourself to that cunt, huh?!

- Baby, you're hurting me, stop, please, I don't know what you're talking about.

- You don't know? I'll make sure you know what I'm talking about.

He was going to hit you, but before he could have slapped you, Graves stopped him.

- if I were you, I would leave the lady in peace, unless you want a broken arm... Or a bullet in your head. Maybe your girl can decide that, don't you think?

Graves was twisting your boyfriend's arm, making him almost crying in pain.

- Y/n... make him stop. Baby, help me.

You looked at Graves and then your boyfriend, there's no fear in your eyes this time, Graves was right, your boyfriend is just an idiot. He doesn't deserve someone like you, he's not what you want.

- Phillip... Leave him, Please.

He did what you said, he let him free. You looked at your boyfriend and simply said «we're done, I'm leaving you», you walked to Grave's side and took his hand. Both turned out and started to walk, when you heard the distinguish sound of a gun's lock.

Your boyfriend was pointing at you, he wasn't right with the idea of losing, and losing you, was frustrating enough.

The sound of a gun shooting was heard in the parking lot and close to the principal door of the saloon was a man's body.

- I warned you to not hurt her or I would make you pay for it.

[oleander-nin]

A/N, not important: I'm so sorry, this ended up being more sensory overload than what you asked for. I'm not very good at this. I'm so sorry. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

Tw: sensory issues

Words: 578

Summary: The rottmnt boys help you with sensory issues.

Mikey:

The moment Mikey learns you’re sensitive to certain things, he immediately memorizes them and takes precautions. Especially when it comes to food.

He would feel absolutely awful if something he made caused you discomfort.

Mikey tends to keep sensory toys around or on him, both for himself and you. He likes to mess around with them as well, and finds them entertaining.

He’s very attentive when you’re obviously distressed or upset. He’ll quickly lead you to a quiet room to help you destress.

He tries to keep it as quiet as possible and wants a calm environment. He’ll usually end up putting on a movie or have you sit with him while he paints so you both can just sit. He would never want you to be too overloaded around him.

Donnie:

Donnie can empathize with you quite well on this matter. He’ll often offer up his lab as a place for you to chill in if something set you off. He’s happy to talk over his recent experiments and inventions with you to help get it off your mind.

He also doesn’t mind you staying in his room if needed. He just wants you to be happy and safe. He might get pouty if you might not be in the mood to hang out, but he’ll wait forever for you if needed.

Makes you custom fidget and sensory toys to suit your specific needs. It’s a long process, and he’s happy to be making something for you. He feels more accomplished when he can help you in some way.

Donnie notices decently quickly. He might need a quick tap if he’s in a rant though, but he’ll instantly stop to help accommodate you.

Raph:

Will notice something’s wrong, but won’t know what exactly unless you tell him.

As soon as he realizes, he’s very quick to help you out. Whether that’s by taking you somewhere quiet, finding you different food, or getting out something to fidget with, he’s sure to be there for you.

Raph doesn’t like you being upset. You’re his s/o, and it makes him sad to see you stressed out.

Raph wants to help in the best way he can. Since he mostly can’t just smash through this problem, he’s happy to listen and learn what you need. Even if it’s just to sit together quietly.

Raph will usually try to get the others to leave you alone as well. He doesn’t want you to get too overwhelmed, especially in the loud lair.

He writes down your sensory triggers on his phone so he can remember how to help you. He’s very purposeful in making sure you’re safe and secure.

Leo:

The moment you feel off, Leo notices. You have to explain to him why at first, but he understands immediately.

He’ll slowly make a mental list of everything that overloads you. He strategically keeps it all away to the best of his ability, sometimes without you even noticing.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and can’t deal with people, Leo helps make up excuses for you. He’s very firm about letting you get your space when it’s needed.

Leo loves to act like your own personal knight in these moments, helping you get to a calmer area.

He makes sure you know his room is always open for you to chill in, even if you want to be alone. He doesn’t want you to feel stuck in the lair with nowhere to go.

[poetessgio]

the observer effect (notes to myself)

I've been super busy with my job, and I've also been working on a bunch of personal artistic projects at the same time. Of course, I feel productive, but exhausted and kind of rushed, which I don't like. To me, slow living is not a trend, but a need for which concept I'm constantly going back to— because I truly believe the post-modern schedule is one of the biggest issues we have as human beings right now. Everything is too much, too fast, and the current global mental health conditions can confirm.

We need time to process, feel and be sure of stuff. Thinking through life and choices, meanings and feelings takes time.

Today, after printing zines and drawings (testing and experimenting), I was happy, but anxious. Everything is going as I planned, but I have so many other ideas I want to try, ideas that I might prefer, and things I want to refine. It's not only perfectionism: it's respect for my own creative process, a unique, valuable, and authentic process that will determine my quality, how my message is delivered to my audience and the endurance of what I created. I don't want to be trapped by the fast paced culture that doesn't let us develop the bare minimum skill before trying to make money!

I don't remember where I saw this, or who said it, but it was basically an artist saying how much early exposure can kill the development of skill, that artists are actually supposed to have time away from everything and everyone, time to mess it up and experiment, time to have a mentor maybe, but if not, time to be away from observant eyes and be on your own. ''In physics, the observer effect is the disturbance of an observed system by the act of observation.'' Anyway...

Of course, there is also a bit of perfectionism (that I believe all artists must learn to master, which I still haven't been able to do): '' Maybe... This looks shit and I'm being an idiot. I can see too many mistakes. I need to work harder. Do I even have the time for this? It's going to take ages until it's good enough. For every test, I'm spending my paper and ink! Well, if I want to make any money so this is worth it, I better hurry up!''

So... Another observer is bad, but as my own observer, I am also not very good. Great.

Do you know who is a good one at this? My husband. He just leaves me alone, because he knows I hate people looking over my shoulder as I create something. He gives me space. He doesn't make a big thing out of it, so I'm not embarrassed or pressured by the ''talented, amazing artist'' mask.

When he got home today, I ran to him, as I usually do, and I shared everything I had done. He was excited and appreciative (he is not the kind of person who will compliment just for the sake of ''making you feel good'', and I adore him for that — because I know he is being honest and that means I can be truly authentic, I can question and challenge myself instead of living for pleasing others, which he never—thankfully— allowed me to do). While he was sharing his perspective and making me feel more confident than ever, he said something like:

''You can keep experimenting for as long as you like! I know you enjoy exploring and refining, so you can just try everything until you feel sure!''

My inner child pouted (and so did I). He smiled.

''Even if I make no money out of it?'' I had to ask.

''Of course. Even if you never, ever make any money. I just want you to be satisfied with what you do. You don't need to rush.''

No, but seriously now: that made me cry. I guess I will be taking my time! He hugged me and I said thank you for holding this space for me and all the things I carry, for helping my creativity to be free, tax-free, and to develop naturally, without the pressure of making a profit, of instantly making it work. I do love taking my time, but I also need to point out that having this man who can smell the raw, secret and invisible conditions of my soul from miles away is literally the best thing ever.

He never allows me to lie to myself and to hide, and believe me... I've tried. Resisting is only worse. At some point, I will have to descend into my most vulnerable room, in the underground of my mind palace, and he will be there, sitting, drinking his tea, calmly waiting for me to arrive so we can clean the messy room together.

With that said, I will just be grateful and go back to my creative space, inside this safe frame his masculinity created for me, which is the definition of provision and protection, and I will keep enjoying my process in my own time. No pressure. No rush. Just delight!

(The right observer will disturb you right).

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@crow-with-a-typewriter

[heartsaplenty]

Why had it taken him this long to reach out again.. The burning question on Ren's mind as he once more held a handwritten note, in the same place they had met before.

Akechi was here again too, sitting in another tree. Ren knew why. It was like a game to him, to see if Makoto could play hide and seek just as well as he had before. There was no doubt in either of their minds, deep down, that he would know exactly. Neither talked about him much until last night, but they both came up with the same words- albeit phrased just a bit differently.

Whoever this guy was, he was powerful. Powerful enough to cause over a week of rain. Stealthy enough to get past him, a master of the art. Who knew what else he was capable of, or what he could do if he set his mind to it.

Even lost in thought, he still heard those footsteps. Satanael pined and reached. It didn't hurt as bad this time, but it still shocked him just as much.

Unlike last time, this meeting was being held earlier in the day, yet as always, nobody would find it. It was a mini sanctuary, and briefly Ren had to wonder if that was a part of Makoto's doing. He knew one thing for sure though, if their meet ups were going to be more of a regular thing, the guy would need a nickname or something. Knowing two Makoto's was going to be a bit of a challenge.

He had to go back over his thoughts. He had never recided the meet ups were going to be regular.. It forced a head shake. Even just being slightly in his presence caused emotions to run wild.

"Is something wrong..?"

The voice came from right next to Ren, and it made him jump noticeably.

"Oh.. I thought I had given enough warning." A sigh followed. "Still so much to work on."

Relaxed again, Ren studied him before even thinking about answering. His heart beat fast, the shard inside pulsed faster. Yet, despite it all, he could see that Makoto looked much better than the first time they had met. He almost seemed.. Content. Things met his eyes. The slight smile connected this time.

"I was waiting for you." Ren found himself answering, the words leaving his mouth before he could even try to stop them.

Had he been waiting? Satanael sure had been, but everything was too muddled for introspection. It was just like last time.

"Sorry.. I was learning. Getting used to this world again. It's been ten years, Joker. I'm still missing a part of myself, but I'll never get that back. Not until we're done."

That sadness was back, and it washed over him as well. Joker tried so hard to fight through it. Make sense of his words.. Or at least remember them for later.

"My own team.. I want to be ready to face them. It's.... Hard. My place isn't here any more. I fulfilled my fate."

"Then... Why are you here?" Ren managed to ask, struggling against everything.

"I don't know. I still can't remember."

It was such a small amount of words, but they held an undeniable power over him. From afar, he heard a strangled gasp, meaning it had hit Akechi too.

Ren placed his hand atop Makoto's again. They were still so cold, and somehow still felt wet to the touch- though it was clear they weren't.

"Don't know.. How to help you. I want to.. I decided. Need to know though.. Where are you supposed to be?"

Makoto almost instantly perked up, looking Ren in the eyes. They were mystifying- even.. Hypnotizing.

"Protecting you. Protecting everyone. Part of me is still there. The part of me that lived."

"Do you.. Have your persona?"

Makoto laughed. Ren's heart soared again. He could swear that Satanael swooned. Seriously. What was wrong with him?

"That's a very hard question to answer, Joker. I.. I think so. The longer I'm here, the more I can feel again. Just the other day, I got my taste back."

He was giddy now. Good. He deserved to be. Ren didn't know how he knew that, it was more a strong feeling.

"What.. Happened to you?"

The question was meant with silence. Five seconds passed.. Then ten. Then a whole minute. Eventually, Ren understand what it meant.

"Sorry.. Sorry. Shouldn't ask, right? Rude of me."

".....It's okay." It was quiet. So quiet.. Ren flinched.

"It's not okay."

"You're right."

He should have known better.

"Me and Yu will meet up with you again soon. Can you do something for me, Joker?"

How could he ever say no?

"Yeah."

"One of my friends is in Shibuya right now. I'm not.. Ready yet, but if you could meet him, I will do what I can to help you, too."

"Will you tell me what he looks like?"

"Tall.. Brown messy hair. His name is Ken."

Makoto reached into his pocket, and pulled out a piece of paper that was slipped into Ren's hand.

"You can find him here."

"What do you want me to say?"

"You're Joker. You charmed a whole nation.. You don't need me to tell you that."

Makoto offered one more smile, before he started walking off. Just like that..

Ren reached out from behind him, a 'wait' on the tip of his tongue- but the ever so mysterious man just... Melted into the ground. He could only look on.

[v3nusxsky]

i’m so in love in your writing skills babe xx you have no idea how much you makes me feel so happy tysm

Could I request motherly lady lesso where the reader has trouble with eating (anorexia) & often have very bad panic attacks because of that and lesso try her best to help her with comforting and etc please❤️

I struggle with that so bad rn.

Hey lovely thank you so much love that makes my day that they have this effect on you. You all provide me with the motivation to write and continue posting so thank you for the support <3 it wasn’t something I planned on doing more off just a way to get over a nasty breakup but I’m so glad now I write more it makes me truly happy.

Chosen Momma

*Authors note| another sensitive topic so I'm going to try and do the prompt the some justice. Again everything I write comes from my own experiences so please be gentle and if anyone is struggling with this my messages are open*

Trigger warnings~ anorexia and panic attacks

Prompt~see ask^^^^

Mothers. Certainly a funny concept. The one person who is supposed to nurture, comfort and support you as you navigate life. Yet yours, well she did the opposite. So much so you couldn't help but feel relieved when you joined the school for Evil. Your mother being an Ever, now refused to even acknowledge your existence. At first you thought you'd be sad, that you were not seeing your mother. After all you only get one mother. Yet you didn't feel sad, no you just felt freedom.

Your struggle with eating has been present for years. Certain foods would cause extreme reactions for you, resulting in panic attacks. Sometimes you would have good days, but naturally you also had bad days. And on those days you couldn't help but wish to have someone to hold you and guide you through the process. Recovery was a long road, one that contained a lot of twists and bumps. The bends were sharp and honestly, it was a treacherous path to travel alone.

Since arriving at the school, you had done your best to hide your illness, you didn't want to appear weak. Weakness is not something a Never should show, you'd had that drummed into you from day one. Making a conscious effort to do well. Maybe because you wanted those grades or maybe it was due to a certain red head. When you arrived you were instantly drawn to her. She seemed to attack your gaze effortlessly. Teaching attachments are a serious thing. And on the first day you had not planned for Lady Lesso to be your attachment. Yet the world works in mysterious ways and you soon found yourself in that situation.

Lesso seemed to have a soft spot for you, you knew that with how she treated you. In fact, you now found yourself searching for her any time you two were in the same room. On the hardest days, a smile from her would brighten your day, giving you a small beacon of light to guide you. Yes Lesso was more of a mother to you these past months than your mother had been in years. And as hard as that was to admit it was a pure fact.

The day she found out of your illness, you'll never forget the sadness that lingered in her eyes, she was desperate to help in some way. As much as you knew you had done the right thing telling her, yet you felt so guilty seeing the pain it caused. And that was the night that you made a promise to the Dean, you would find her whenever you were struggling. And on those days you had helped Lesso know exactly how to help you. Exactly what you craved and needed to get through this. Maybe just maybe, having her by your side to guide you through it al would be helpful for you.

On this particular day, the food being served in the food hall seemed to be massively terrifying. You sat, gaze unfocused, starring at the plate of food as if it was the most scary monster to be imagined. You could feel yourself being swept up in the panicked thoughts, your heart racing as if it was beating at the speed light travels. It was hurting your heart. Was it going to beat out of your chest? You vaguely remember being told that when you felt as though a hand was plunged into your chest and squeezing your heart like a vice, that you should try to sit up straight. Yet your body seemed to just want to fold in half. Your vision was the next thing to deteriorate. You vaguely remember a pressure on your shoulder before you lost consciousness.

You conciseness began to flood your body once more, you instantly noted the change of environment. You were no longer in the noise hall, you were in the safety of Lady Lesso's office. The women was sat by your head, stroking through your hair to provide comfort. Only when you were fully back in the present did she help you sit up and pulled you into a loving embrace. Immediately stepping into the motherly mode. Her hand never left your hair as she rocked gently with you in her arms, whispering repeatedly words of love and support. "Oh my little dove, are you okay my darling? Is your chest still sore little one?"

You took a few more steady breaths before attempting to answer her, "I'm okay momma it is still hurting slightly but it's much better now momma" you mumbled soaking in her embrace. You'd been calling Lesso momma now for a few months, it had slipped out during a particularly bad attack and luckily she felt honoured you saw her as your chosen momma. If she could provide you with what you truly deserved and you felt comfortable with that title then who was she to deny you such a comfort. You had told her about how your mother would handle this, and to have the complete opposite from the one and only Dean of Evil was just overwhelming.

The softer side of Lesso was one that only a select few people had the pleasure of seeing it, so the fact you were one filled your heart with joy. Whenever you had bad days, where everything felt too much you knew you could come and seek comfort in your momma's embrace. Knowing she would hold you till you had weathered the storm. Only then when you were calm, she would get you some of your safe foods and encourage you to eat. "Eat my darling, take as long as you need and I'll be here with you my little one" was her constant reminder that you would never be alone and there was no pressure to eat any faster than you could handle. She wouldn't leave you because of this illness, in fact she was going to stay and help you recover. And that made your heart fill with love. Who said a mother is formed by sharing blood and DNA?

Word count~ 1137

[zuckarr]

1 year as a vegan 🌱 an honest overview

I'm a 30 year old woman, and I decided to go vegan in April 2022. I was never a vegetarian. I switched from an omnivorous diet to a plant-based diet overnight, and I have strictly adhered to the latter, with the only few exceptions being accidents.

I would like to write down how my journey as a vegan has been so far, what pros and cons I encountered and how my overall health was impacted. I intend to talk with my heart on my sleeve about everything and I am totally open to questions or clarifications. This post is nothing more than my own subjective, unique experience as a relatively new vegan person. However I won't be talking about the morality of veganism, nor the reasons why I decided to go vegan. I want to give voice to the bodily and mental changes I am going through instead, plus a few personal final thoughts.

I'd like to begin by stating that:

I have been taking several blood tests during the last year in order to keep track of the changes.

I have been taking vitamin B12 supplements as strongly recommended by every single doctor and veganism related website/source.

I have no prior sickness of any kind.

HEADACHES.

Headaches used to permeate my days before going vegan - so much that I had stopped noticing them (when bearable). During my first week as a vegan, the sudden disappearance of my headaches felt like a miracle. I would've never anticipated how life-changing that was. I was so used to my head pounding that the absence of the pain couldn't have gone unnoticed. I figured out I am intolerant to dairy, as countless others are, and yet I used to munch on cheese as my go-to comfort food... as countless others do.

BLOATING.

Bloating was probably also caused by my daily ingestion of dairy products, and was one of my body's cries for help. I did not feel bloated anymore once I started eating plant-based. The skin on my belly was softer at the touch and not as tense as before. People around me began asking if I had lost weight. I hadn't. It was just me deflating, lol.

SLEEP.

This is one of the most unexpected changes: I noticed I've been sleeping less, but better. I started waking up an hour or two earlier than usual, feeling well rested. Thanks to that, my days got longer, my mind got clearer, and my mood improved almost instantly.

ENERGY.

During the first weeks, I felt very energised. Must've been all of the vitamins suddenly filling my body! Who needs to get high when you can get the iron rush from a bunch of spinach, like good old Popeye taught us? Nevertheless, the energy sort of dissipated over time and I've been feeling pretty normal ever since.

POOP.

Oh no, it's poop talk! Fend yourselves, because I am not scared of being descriptive here. Long story short, I used to have frequent diarrhea before going vegan. Once again, my dairy intolerance most likely contributed to creating funny looking brown stuff. If I asked you how's your poop looking, what would you answer (assuming you wouldn't slap me)? And would you know what a healthy poop is supposed to look like? Welp, let's just say I've been proud of my toilet appointments since going vegan, because all I see are Pacha meme worthy sausages. Going to the loo is a happy time now, in comparison to the long minutes of agony spent with stomachache and funky smells.

FLATULENCE.

Can't have booty talk without mentioning the #1 cause of laughter among kids since the beginning of time! Farting is funny, but it is first and foremost the sign of a healthy gut. It takes a quick Google search to find out what farts truly are and why our bodies need to produce them. I confirm one of the most innocent prejudices against vegans - yes, we fart more than usual! But if you read into it, you'll only wish to do the same. Still, it is a largely acceptable change, and has not caused me any discomfort or unfortunate situations whatsoever.

CHOLESTEROL, IRON, PROTEIN, ETC.

Before going vegan, I had high cholesterol, high fibrinogen, low hemoglobin, low albumin, and a few other things that weren't importantly unbalanced. As aforementioned, I've taken several blood tests during the last year which showed ALL of the highs & lows quickly going back to normal. When I saw my cholesterol lower for the first time, I cried. I haven't had normal cholesterol for years, so, seeing that was nothing less than a miracle for me. As for my iron and protein, they increased! My fibrinogen was REALLY high, which could've resulted in a heart attack due to a vascular occlusion, but I don't risk that anymore. I cannot express how ecstatic I am to be considered medically healthy now. I wish somebody had told me earlier about the health benefits of a plant-based diet.

COOKING AND GROCERY SHOPPING.

I was never a big fan of cooking, because I was mostly just hungry all the time and I couldn't be bothered to prep meals or to even chop up vegetables. As a vegan though, I was kind of forced to look at recipes in the beginning - I was pretty lost and didn't know what to cook! Well, vegan cooking turned out to be much easier than I thought. I remember my first vegan grocery shopping experience: a whole new world opened up in the mall. I had never looked at the veggies and fruits and legumes and seeds and cereals section properly before! It was ENORMOUS! Boxes and bags and baskets of wonderfully colored food, most of it really cheap (especially legumes); with half of the money that I used to spend on cheese and meat, I had double the amount of food in my shopping cart and I was so ready to start cooking. The more I cooked, the quicker my cooking skills drastically improved and I have so much fucking fun in the kitchen now! I made countless vegan meals and cakes, loved by everybody (non-vegans asked for recipes more than once!), even by my mother! She used to slaughter chickens and had never baked a cake without eggs before, and yet, she admitted that this way of eating is fantastic and convenient. After a few months, she praised my hair and skin because it looks brighter and healthier. As a matter of fact, I feel nourished and full most of the time. Most importantly, I began to feel grateful and to think of food as a way of loving myself and nurturing my body, rather than a mere matter of taste.

SOCIETY.

The problem with being a vegan in a human society is... other people. It is always, undoubtedly other people who will come @ me with their weird, uncalled for, and rude anti-vegan claims as soon as somebody ELSE reveals that I am a vegan. I swear to god. I have no idea where we picked up the scenario of the 'annoying vegan' because the truth is actually the opposite... it is others who annoy ME... whenever they asked questions, I was happy to answer and explain stuff, because I genuinely thought that they were interested and would have liked learning something new, just like I would've felt if they had talked to me about something that they are passionate about. But nope, the real reason why most people asked me questions was to 'debunk' what I would say and feel like they won the argument. Even though it wasn't an argument at all. It wasn't long before I started noticing the patterns, the same old questions asked, the same rebuttals, over and over, in an endless cycle of going nowhere. So I simply learned how to differentiate the 'gotchas' from the rare, decent people who truly want to know more about veganism. As for going out and eating out, it wasn't as hard nor as expensive as I anticipated. We now live in a very vegan friendly time, there are vegan alternatives to basically everything. I feel extremely lucky to be a vegan now, because I can't even begin to imagine how hard it would've been years before.

PEACE OF MIND.

There is a duck pond nearby and I often take walks through it. Sometimes I sit on a bench, look at the beautiful birds and their dreamy plumage, and I... appreciate them. Not for their meat, like I used to. I can't even fathom seeing those creatures as food now. I appreciate them as individuals, who dream, love, dance, think, sleep, bond with their kin... I feel at peace with animals and nature on a whole other level. I realized how wrong it felt to eat a steak and then pet my dog. I learned so much about animal agriculture, nutrition, human rights, environmentalism… and I have so much more to learn yet. It takes one heartfelt glance into an animal's eyes, to be reminded that we are all the same. I am honored to get to choose not to be cruel to them.

[ciar-galyna]

A Court of Shackles and Glass

Chapter One

Word Count : 2.8k

Warning(s) : None

Next Chapter

Lyphon

Everything is painfully dark in here. I can't see any of the walls of this damned prison, nor can I even hear anything, not even the whisper of a breeze. I haven't able to since I was locked inside this dreadful place. All my movements are restricted by chains linked to cuffs locked around my ankles, wrists, and wings. By now the feathers have definitely gone dull. No doubt Achlys will pout for weeks about his lost beauty and demand to find Gyn to fix his problems again. I won't lie though, finding Gyn immediately to fix whatever is wrong with me now sounds like a good idea. Assuming I'm even going to be freed from this hell.

It was certainly a bold move on Ulysse's part, a stupid one, but a bolder one than I'm sure any of us could've expected. While it cost us to underestimate him and his ambitions, it will cost him more once we've been freed. Especially when one of us is an expert in anatomy and tends to use psychological warfare more than her actual weapons. They used to say, probably ages ago, to never underestimate the wrath of a Mortis. I can only assume Ulysse went against that warning, since he didn't seem all that concerned about Great Grandpa and his love for his Great Grandchildren. I wouldn't be surprised if Great Grandpa killed him honestly. I'm half expecting to see a grave when we get home.

A sharp, faint ring echoes through this lifeless prison. One that makes my ears twitch, aching to hear anything else. What was the ringing caused by? Is the top finally opening? That makes me excited and afraid. I'll be exposed to light again, and I haven't seen anything remotely bright or dim for who knows how long. I'll need to find Gyn fast, she'll be able to heal any damage, and I'd rather not go blind instantly and eternally.

It feels like ages before there's another faint, echoing ring, followed by another and then another and then another. I have no idea what that sound could be. If it's people, I could be freed. If it's a beast...I'm basically a sitting duck. Damn you Ulysse and your rotten soul. Hissing, I look up, or at least what I think is up, it's hard to tell when everything is pitch black here. The sound is coming from above me, so I'm assuming, and hoping, that I'm not upside down right now. If I strain my ears enough, I can hear something like a voice, or voices. I can't make out exact words, but voices are better than growls or hisses.

A low, aching, and loud groan suddenly sounds, like ancient metal doors scraping and opening against each other, and right in my ears. I wince as I cover my ears, which does very little to help block out the noise, but it's better than nothing I suppose. The groaning on gets higher in pitch until a loud slam echoes in this prison, making my ears ring to the point I'm convinced they'll start bleeding at any moment. Light peers in from above, and despite it being moonlight, it still almost feels blinding. A few tears fall, my eyes burning despite my arms shielding my face now.

Sound floods in more clearly now, no doors are blocking my ears from the outside world. Voices whisper and gossip about what could be in the endless void that is the uncovered cube of ancient metals. Rumours begin to build about the markings on the outside being to protect anyone from a cursed creature inside, how they should shut the doors again. A sense of desperation builds at those words, and whether I know better or not, I call out.

"Don't shut the doors."

There are gasps, a few shrieks. My voice is a little rough from lack of use, but not as bad as I imagined it would be. Soft footsteps approach from above. Two more people have come to watch at the edge, to try and spot where I am. A soft breeze blows in, the coolness practically making me shudder. Wind, finally, I can feel something from outside. But the wind also carries the scents of the two newcomers. One smells of apples and a burning hearth, the other of rain and the earth. The rain and earth smell makes me tense, more alert. It's now I can sense the power, it may have been eternity, but I can still recognize the power and aura of a High Lord.

"Well well..so it appears there is someone down there. Who and what are you? What Court do you reign from?"

One of them speaks, I don't know who that is, but I don't think they're the High Lord, not that I'm feeling lucky at the moment. Still, giving them an answer can lessen suspicion, make me less..dangerous in their eyes maybe. Or, it can make it worse when they won't recognize my name and Court. One answer is better than no answer, if I give nothing they might close the doors, and here I have no windows.

"Lyphon Mortis, son of Erebus Mortis, late High Lord of the End Court, and the younger brother of Achlys and Gyn Mortis."

Silences follows, someone says something low enough I can't catch it. People start moving away, but the doors don't creak, so they're being left open. Something falls and whips the air in here a little, somewhere above my head. The voice from earlier speaks again.

"We're going to need more rope."

Gyn

The entirety of this massive prison groans, metal upset and screaming for whatever is happening to stop. I wince at the sound, but it's better than the random rush of water or incessant, rage-inducing dripping from behind me. My own bones almost groan with the prison, they've been aching for ages now, stuck in an uncomfortable, terrible position. Legs bent and sat on, torso leaning forward, arms stretched to the sides, and wings clamped shut. All limbs chained to the walls, my neck chained to the ceiling, but unable to move from the tightness of the cuffs and taughtness of the chains. My legs beg for me to stand, my back pleading for me to slouch or at least shift, and my precious wings just want to stretch and feel the wind against my feathers again. Oh what I'd give to fly again. And all of my body pleading for me to stop soaking in the water as high as my chest, nearly to my face at this point, some hair dangling and dipping into dark waters. The two wings on the lower end of my back is already half in the water, soaking and making me want to shiver again.

The prison wasn't always this water filled, but slowly it's built up. And given enough time, I'd likely be stuck here, eternally drowning but unable to die. True hell indeed.

With a groan the prison suddenly tilts backwards. Water rushes at me, drenching my entire body and leaving me holding my breath for a moment, then choking and spitting out water for another few. Unfortunately, despite gravity trying to pull me back into the water, now below me, the chains don't allow it, I'm dangling above the water. There's another groan and the prison rights itself, returning to it's original position. I wince and brace myself for the oncoming impact of the rushing, practically tidalwaving, water. There's a loud rush and a strong force hits my wings and head. I nearly black out, but I'm left awake, under water and with a nasty headache. I scream, the sound muffled by the water and turning to bubbles that rush to top. When the water sinks back to chest height my scream echoes, the shrill noise nearly deafening me.

I hack and cough as small droplets rise from my lungs and drip back into the dark, chilly water. I groan, head wanting to hang but instead making the collar choke me. With a wince I right my head again. Air blesses my lungs as the only good thing of today. What the hell was that just now anyways? I can only assume Ulysse made sure this prison was cast underwater, so maybe a large sea creature? No..maybe not..but what else could it be? This prison is ancient and massive, nothing small could move it.

I grunt as the prison moves again, this time there's a draggin sound by the doors ahead of me, something like..sand? Possibly dirt? My body shakes when the prison abruptly stops moving, the chains rattle and clink, swinging for a little bit. The ancient doors that keep me locked in here more than the chains open, light from the day floods in, reaching my knees. The darkness flees from the front, behind me probably becoming ever darker. The sudden brightness makes my vision go white, eyes burning with a pressure behind them that makes a strangled scream escape me. I struggle to turn, to look away, let my eyes adjust and not go blind instantly. A few hot, burning tears fall and quickly slide down my face and neck. All six wings flap violently, trying to free themselves and block the light, protect me, unfortunately it doesn't work. Gods it hurts. Another pained noise comes from my throat, something between a sob and a cry. As much as I'd love to feel embarassed right now, I don't have it in me.

Footsteps approach, swiftly, each one echoing in this hollow chamber. At the sound I realize most of the water has flooded out. Voices shout warnings and commands to stop, to back away and 'get away from them! They could be dangerous'. I wince, twisting my head again, skin scraping against the rough, damp, and cold collar around my neck. My arms pull and push, trying to cover my ears and eyes, it only makes them scrape badly against my shackles though. More tears flow and another mix of a sob and cry echoes in the prison. The footsteps approach faster until some of the light vanishes from my vision, the pressure behind my eyes easing away.

The smell of the sea and lotuses envelops me, catching me a little off guard. The stranger in front of me gently takes my face, turning it back to face forwards again. The first thing I see are bright turquoise eyes, concern is laced in them and I can't help but feel guilty. But at the same time, I'm a little captivated by their eyes. They're a beautiful turquoise, almost like they've captured the sea and trapped them in a pair of eyes. It almost catches my breath, and my wings almost flap a little. They smile slightly, which is when I notice the stranger's dark skin and white hair, I almost smile back.

"Be careful, you're going to hurt yourself..now can you tell me who you are? Where you're from maybe? Or why you're in here?..Do you understand me?"

His voice is soothing, almost melodic. I smile faintly, but for very briefly, I need to give him answers.

"I understand, don't worry. Thank you for the concern..my name is Gyn Mortis. My home is likely not a place you know of, but I'll say anyways. I am from the End Court, it is north of the Night Court. I am in here because my Father, it's former High Lord, died and my cousin imprisoned me and my two brothers in seperate prisons. Rumours had been going around that one of us would inherit the title, so out of jealousy he forced us into these. I do not know how long I have been in here and I can only guess where I am."

I end coughing after speaking. I haven't spoken in a while, nor this much. The stranger pats my back, chuckling a little while looking a bit surprised.

"Easy there, don't push yourself. And I'm sorry, you're right, I don't know of the End Court..but I will try to help you."

I smile a little, nodding and whispering thank you. He turns to call behind him, ordering for a blanket and a locksmith.

Achlys

The flame, small as one on a candle, seems as bright as the sun. I try not to wince or squint, acting like my eyes aren't ready to bleed at the brightness. I'll need to find Gyn, get her to make my feathers beautiful again and fix my broken, breaking eyes. But that'll have to wait until this jackass lets me go.

I sigh as the russet eyed, ruby haired male in front of me stares me down. He and some of his servants had found me and managed to get me out of the damned prison, which immediately returned itself home, no doubt family members will either shout for joy or throw a hissy fit when they're informed of the returned prison. The servants stand a few feet behind the male, heads all facing downwards, all of them apparently finding the dirt ground of the cave fascinating.

Russet eyes squats, the fire right between us now. I opted to sit rather than stand, it seemed more comfortable and I've already had to stand for who knows how long anyways; I was switched between standing and sitting every so often, but for the longest time now I had to stand, making my legs feel weak, tired, and stiff. I could swear he's smirking slightly. It's tempting to just slap him, maybe see how he reacts. I don't, of course, but it's nice imagining it happening.

"Well then, I've freed you, whatever you are. So you owe me one. Now you're going to kill my someone for me."

I narrow my eyes this time, almost tilting my head. If I didn't know any better I'd think I'd returned home with the prison. Of course I was only freed to be indebted to Russet Eyes. I hiss lowly, much to Russet's amusement.

"Don't look so pouty. It's only one life. Besides, it'll probably be easy for you. I doubt they locked up a human in something like your little prison." He smirks again, I almost scowl. "Don't tell me you're nothing but a weakling. Gods, I didn't save someone useless did I? What a waste of effort."

At that I nearly punch him, I'd certainly love the feeling of his face being broken by my fists, blood pouring everywhere. I almost smirk at the thought, that would be wonderful.

"Shut it. I have no doubts I am more powerful than you, nor do I have any doubts that my skill is greatly higher than yours."

He snorts as I stand, moving to leave. If someone hasn't already found my siblings, I might as well find them myself. He stands though, pressing a hand on my chest, just over my heart. A warmth builds until it's borderline burning and there's a chance my shirt is about to be set on fire or start smoking. I glare at him, cracking my neck as I flex my fingers. It's been some time, but now that I'm not trapped in that damning prison I can use my abilities again. It feels good to watch his daggers rise and hover a hair above his scalp, like some mock crown that could kill him at any moment. Though because of how long it's been it's not as stable, some of the daggers occasionally wobbling. Clenching my hands into fists the daggers fix themselves, staying still and perfectly angled to stab into his head. I'm going to need to practice more, make sure I'm back to my original skill and strength again.

Russet raises a brow, humming faintly. "What is your name?..You're not from here, are you?"

"If you're really so curious, red locks, it's Achlys. And I come from hell."

He bristles a little at the nickname, but snickers at my last answer. "Red locks..no. You can call me Fenix Vanserra, welcome to Hell 2.0."

~~~

Hello, thank you for reading this. Feel free to let me know what you think. Have a good day/night. You deserve to be happy.

~~~

P.S. This fanfic is available on Quotev and AO3

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

(Very Irrational) Rational Thinking

(Not my gif)

Title: Rational Thinking

Word Count: Big

Summary: You were good at keeping yourself away from the supernatural, you were good at protecting yourself. Then you met Kol. Kol made you curious and curiosity had always been your downfall. You knew you needed to keep your defenses up if you wanted to live - vampires could not be trusted... but Kol made you curious... || Kol Mikaelson x Prodigy!reader

Warnings: This one's a little dark, talk of murder, torture, actual murder... Canon typical violence I guess? But it's also adorable as all frick so you need to read. Starts out a little slow, but I promise it's worth it.

Here lies my complete Masterlist!

Write your words in cursive

You make me so nervous

You got my heart pulsing

Wish you were more repulsive

You're my favorite nightmare

and for once I'm not scared

You made a good impression

You make me wanna question

Every Little Thing

-Every Little Thing by Cybergirlfriend

"I have to meet with her, we have to find out what Esther wants." Elena's stubborn tone carried so easily from the kitchen where she stood with the Salvatore psychos, to where you sat on the couch in the living room. You rolled your eyes and sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. You had continuously told her how easy it would be for any vampire to spy on these little scheming sessions of hers and report everything back to Klaus, all one of the dirty bloodsuckers would have to do is stand outside. But did she ever listen? Nope.

At this point, you weren't even sure why you still bothered to try and help. You had only offered your assistance in the first place because Jeremy had begged you to.

When your childhood best friend had found out that you were aware of the Supernatural whatnot going on in the town, he'd been rather hurt that you hadn't told him of your discovery sooner and the two of you had gotten into an argument - something about how best friends shouldn't keep secrets and also feelings, but even after two hours of Jeremy trying to explain and milkshakes you still didn't really understand. He said that he'd been terrified to tell you about the things going on in his life because he thought you would laugh or call him crazy. You wouldn't have, of course, seeing as you'd known the big secret before he had. (Your discovery of the vampires in town, and subsequently the rest of the supernatural, was something of a funny story actually. That story involved Damon trying to eat you, a heavily modified stun gun devoid of all safety features, and what you hoped was a very uncomfortable ride over the falls for Damon who you had bound, gagged, and stashed in a large oak chest from your garage which you dumped into the river. Damon had never bothered you [with lethal intent] ever again.) When Jeremy had found out his sister’s secret, you had instantly been able to tell - simply by the look on his face. You'd never been good at understanding people or emotions. This time, however, you could tell that your actions had seriously hurt him. Apologies really weren't your thing, but you couldn't lose the only friend you'd ever had so you explained your reasons and counted yourself lucky that he was willing to forgive you… on one condition. Jeremy made you promise to keep an eye out on Elena and her protection squad. Even though Jeremy was livid with his sister, he didn't want her to die. He made you pinky promise on it.

So that's how you'd found yourself here, lounging on the Gilbert couch, stuffing your face with Doritos while you suffered through listening to Elena's determination to get herself dead. It was exhausting but a promise is a promise, you supposed, even if the person with whom you made the promise gets compelled to whisk himself away to Denver.

"Do you have a death wish?" Damon demanded.

'Here we go again,' You thought, restraining a groan.

"No, but-"

"Then what, Elena? 'Cause that's the only logical illogical reason I can think of for you to want to be within ten miles of some crazy witch who's already tried to kill you. Twice!" Damon practically shouted. So much for secrecy. Now was probably the time for you to chime in seeing as the few brain cells contained within that room seemed to be getting tossed aside in favor of fragile feelings and even more fragile egos. You folded down the top of your bag of Doritos and placed it neatly on the coffee table before standing up and sauntering your way towards the kitchen.

"We need that information, Damon!" Elena's voice was so whiny. Good heavens, it was annoying. "I'm going whether you like it or not!"

"Here's a bright idea: how 'bout ya' don't," You chimed in, leaning against the door frame. Damon turned to glance at you, brows raised in surprise. The two of you almost never agreed on anything and for good reason.

He shoved a finger at you and turned back to Elena as if trying to prove a point. "See? Listen to the Valedictorian!"

"Wait, why are you-" Elena looked at you with confusion. "Jeremy's not here…" She said slowly.

"He isn't?!" You gasped mockingly. "Oh my gosh, I didn't notice that!" Your sarcasm was met with a glare from the doppelganger. Elena had never liked you, she thought you were a bad influence on Jeremy - the feeling was mutual.

"Then why are you still here? I thought you left," She said. Had she not heard you munching on Doritos? Geez, Louise! Were you the only person who used their senses around here?

"One can only spend so long at the Grille, my dear friend's sister, before one starts to develop a permanent bad taste in music," You replied with a smirk.

"You could always go home," Elena pointed out.

"Home?" You stuck out your tongue. "Blegh, gross."

"You know, despite what Jeremy says, this isn't actually your house," She huffed, crossing her arms and shaking her head.

That hit a nerve.

She knew full well why you hated your house.

Testing for an IQ higher than Steven Hawking had its drawbacks and your mother was a vain and narcissistic woman. “You’re too distracted, Y/N! I will not be the mother of an almost genius, do you understand me? Get back to work, and this time, focus! If you can’t solve the problem, you are worthless!”

You shoved those words right back to where they came from and sent Elena a sickeningly sweet smile.

“True, however, I am rather fond of the place and, at the rate you three are going, Klaus or some other wack-job is likely to burn it to the ground within the month.” You shrugged. “Someone has to make sure Jeremy has a home to come back to and it’s sure as hell not gonna be you seeing as you’re too busy messing around with two mass-murderers!”

Elena blinked. Then her expression twisted into a scowl. “Stefan, could you please just-” She gestured at you vaguely. Stefan sent you a sideways glance to which you responded with a cheeky wave.

He sighed. “I can’t.”

The Gilbert girl frowned. “Why not?”

Your face split into a grin. “Because this.” You leaned over to Stefan and trailed a finger along his bare forearm. The vampire hissed in pain as the path where you touched him burned like he’d been branded. He tried to jerk away from you but you grabbed a hold of his arm, smirking pointedly at Elena.

“Okay! We get it!” Damon yanked your hand off his brother, burning himself in the process. You just shrugged innocently. “Psychopath,” He muttered under his breath.

“Sociopathically-inclined genius, actually,” You corrected. “Either way, I know where you live.”

“If you want her to leave so bad, Elena, then why don’t you just take care of her yourself?” Stefan asked, rubbing at the fading burns. Elena, however, was too shocked to speak, or at least, to do so coherently.

“H-h-how… How d-did… How did you? What!?”

“Vervain in my soap, lotion, and pretty much everything else,” You answered. “It’s like using essential oils, but instead of smelling good, I burn vampires. Pretty cool, eh?”

“No!” She huffed. “That’s awful! A-and why would you burn Stefan?”

Your eyes darted between faces in the room and you realized that you were apparently the only one who found all this funny. You frowned, feeling a little guilty about it now. People were so confusing! You wished Jeremy was there to explain it to you.

“Because I could,” You said like it was obvious. “Also, you three were being unbearably stupid again, so…”

“Oh yeah? And what does Miss Einstein think about all this?” Damon challenged, raising a brow.

“I don’t think Elena should go to the ball,” You deadpanned.

“Well, I’m still going,” She sneered. Damon rolled his eyes and turned back to her.

“It’s a trap, Elena!” He pressed. “How can you possibly miss that? Admiral Ackbar would be rolling in his fishy grave.”

“You don’t know that,” She countered. Damon turned to you with a very desperate look on his face.

“Back me up here!” He begged.

“It’s a trap,” You agreed. He shot you a look.

“Tone down the enthusiasm, why don’tcha?” He deadpanned.

“You didn’t let me finish.” You chuckled, hauling yourself up to sit on the kitchen table and pointing an accusatory finger at the raven-haired Salvatore. “I said it’s a trap, I never said that trap was for Elena. In fact, twenty bucks and a half-eaten family sized bag of Doritos says it’s not!” All you got in response was a trio of confused stares and then all three started talking at once.

Elena scoffed. “Who else would the trap be set for?”

Damon glared. “I thought you were on my side!”

And poor Stefan just looked lost. “How’d you eat the Doritos so fast? We’ve been here five minutes…”

You giggled and grabbed a fingernail file off the table, starting to work on your nails while you talked. “Well, first off, not everything revolves around you, Elena; you’re just a pawn in a very long game of chess. B- Wait, no… Secondly, Damon, I will never be on your side about anything any time any place ever. And lastly, Stefie, I stack the chips and shove ‘em in. Saves time.”

“Oh.” Stefan nodded to himself. “That’s smart.”

“Thanks.”

Damon rolled his eyes. “Of course the trap is for Elena, Momma Original has already tried to kill her twice and third times the charm.”

“No, Momma Original has tried to prevent Klaus from making hybrids twice,” You corrected. “What y’all fail to realize is that copy-n-paste face Mcgee over here is entirely useless outside of what her magic blood can do. The woman turned her kids into monsters, for crying out loud! If Esther wanted Elena’s blood, all she would have to do is walk right in this place and take it. She hasn’t. That tells us two things, anyone care to guess?”

You got nothing but silence.

“Really? How have you guys not figured this out?” You laughed. “What is it like in your tiny little brains? Must be so boring!”

“Why can’t you just give it to us straight?” Elena complained.

"Fine," You sneered. “Witchy-Wacko wants to kill her kids. Link ‘em together, undo the curse, knock ‘em over like dominos and probably exterminate the rest of the vampire race while she’s at it. If you go to the ball, Esther will enact her plan and it will probably fail as most plans do when you three are involved with them - that's not mean it’s just statistically accurate - and that will only serve to tick our favorite thing of Vikings off even more which bodes well for absolutely no one. That’s all folks, thank you and goodnight!”

Leaving them all staring at you with various degrees of shock, you slipped off the table and skipped to the door. None of them moved and you left. You were about halfway up the street when Damon caught up to you.

“Hey! Tiny Sherlock!” He called after you. You didn’t stop walking but, in a blink, he was by your side anyway. “That was pretty impressive back there,” He said.

“No, that was obvious,” You countered.

“Tomato, potato.” He waved you off and you rolled your eyes. “Or at least it would be if you had ever even met Klaus or one of the other originals, but you haven’t.”

“So?”

“So you put that puzzle together based on scraps of conversations and second hand information,” Damon pointed out.

“Does this DVD come with scene selection?” You mused sarcastically. Damon rolled his eyes.

“Point is, I think that brain of yours could be really helpful.”

You raised a brow, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. “Last time I heard you say the word helpful in context to me, the night ended with you getting 20,000 volts to your central nervous system before I dumped you in the river. I’d like you to consider your next words very carefully.”

“Come with me to the ball tonight,” Damon said, sending you a smirk. “Dance with a couple thousand year old killing machines, chat ‘em up, dig up dirt.”

You glanced at him to check to see if he was being serious. He was. Damon was actually serious. So, you started laughing, long and hard.

“Oh, Damon, Damon-bow-bayman-banana-fanna-mo-mayman DA-MON!” You slapped his shoulder. “You’re funny!”

He gave you a look that said you were crazy. “Was there an answer in all that or…”

“HECK NO! There’s an answer for you. No thanks, I choose life!” You declared, still laughing.

“Look, I’ll make it worth your while,” He offered.

“You couldn’t if you tried.”

“Then why not just do it out of the goodness of your heart? You do have one of those, right?” He asked, glancing at you as if to double-check. You stopped and twisted on your heel to face him, crossing your arms and sending him a chilling glare.

“Why? So you and the cult of Elena can use me like you use Bonnie Bennett?” You demanded. “I’d really rather not.” Then you started walking again.

“Don’t tell me you’re not just a little bit curious,” Damon’s voice drawled from behind you.

And that there was the precise moment that ruined every plan you’d ever made for your life. That was another downside to being a genius: enough was never enough. Ever since you had first heard of the Original family, you had been curious. You craved knowledge like other humans craved air.

“You wanna see ‘em, don’t you?” He continued. “You wanna see what a thousand years looks like. You wanna know their secrets as much as I do. Deny it all you want but you know deep down that itch won’t go away until you know everything there is to know about that messed up family. I know an addict when I see one, Y/N.”

He had you and you couldn't deny it. You were an addict, but you weren’t completely reckless. You spun around and fixed the manipulative vampire with a frigid glare.

“Listen to me very carefully, Damon. I may not be against you, but I am not your ally and I never will be because I know better than to trust a filthy parasite like you. Anything I’ve done to help assure Elena’s safety has been done out of the goodness of my heart and I am under no obligation to continue being so charitable.” Your tone was low, a clear threat in itself but Damon had always been rather thick. You reached out and grabbed his wrist, burning the skin on contact to accentuate your words. “I’ve survived this long because I play smart. I keep my head down, watch the tide, and predict the waves. Then when those waves come, I move out of the way. When I introduce myself to the Mikaelsons, I will do so on my terms. My decisions are not for you to influence or control. Do not ever attempt to manipulate me again.”

You released him when you finished and Damon blinked in surprise. Then his expression morphed into a smirk and he tilted his head, looking at you as if he were seeing you for the first time. “You said when,” He pointed out.

You smirked. “That I did.”

The next day, sometime around two in the afternoon, you were woken from a rather spectacular nap by the insistent chiming of your phone. You groaned and flung your arm out to grasp the device, opening it up and peering at the notification. You were surprised to find a text from Stefan lighting up the screen.

Now, despite any pain you may routinely cause him on the basis of misguided humor, Stefan was one of the few people you actually liked. He understood that you couldn't comprehend right versus wrong the same way as everyone else - that your brain had a very real physical deficiency when it came to the chemicals that produce the human sense of compassion - and he tried his best to be tolerant and kind to you despite that. Stefan was an empathetic person, he could feel for others in a way you just couldn’t understand. He confused you, and you frustrated him. Thus it really wasn't anything personal, but the two of you just couldn't be anything more than friendly acquaintances, which is all a fancy way of saying that Stefan never texted you unless he needed something… desperately.

But if he needed your help then you would give it. Because in some ways, Stefan was a bit like you - he tried his best, but more often than not, his best just wasn't enough for most people.

"You're not trying hard enough! If you were putting all your effort into this, you would have figured it out already. If you can't solve the problem, you are useless!"

You shook your head, pushing your mother's voice to the back of your mind and opening Stefan's message. It was short and the words seemed rushed, probably due to panic, but being Stefan he still tried to be sincere. The text read:

"You were right, and Elijah knows. They took Elena and will kill her if we don't find a way to stop Esther. I know you and Elena have your issues but please, Y/N, I really need your help."

Ah, so Elena had done exactly what you told her not to do. Golly gee, what a surprise!

Maybe you should just ignore Stefan’s cry for help and go back to sleep. Then maybe when you woke up Elena and the Mikaelsons would be dead - along with the entirety of the vampire race if your theory about bloodlines was correct - and aside from a twinge of guilt if Stefan died, you wouldn’t feel a thing. After all, Elena got herself into this mess and it was only right that she take responsibility. She should’ve trusted your advice, but she never would because even though you weren't actually a sociopath, your brain's reduced capacity for compassion was all that girl would ever see.

You didn’t care about very many people, that was true. But contrary to popular belief, you really did have a heart. It was just quite damaged from the influence of your mother's abuse, and people like her or Elena didn't exactly make you eager to open it up. Despite your best efforts, however, there were just some people who found their way past your harsh exterior, and for those people there was nothing you wouldn’t do. Jeremy was your best friend and Elena was his sister, and even though you wouldn’t care if she died, you wouldn’t do that to him. A promise is a promise.

“I’m always right, Steffie, and a big WELL, DUH to the rest but what do you need?”

“Damon told me you don’t want to be involved.”

“Then don’t involve me.”

He took a moment to reply and then:

“Mystic Grill.”

You smirked at that.

“On my way.”

***

The girl caught Kol’s attention the minute she walked through the door. She was stunning, with innocent features, soft H/C hair, and bright, attentive E/C eyes that paused on him just for a moment as they swept the room. Her clothes were more casual than what most of the people in the grill were wearing, just jeans and a t-shirt but she made them look great. Slipping a pair of headphones over her ears, she strode over to an empty booth with the confidence of someone who doesn’t care about the opinions of a single person in the room. When she sat down, the customers sitting in the booths on either side of hers glanced at one another nervously. Then, to Kol’s surprise, intrigue and delight, they all got up and moved to other tables. The girl shrugged off the bag she carried on her shoulder and removed a laptop which she set up on the table in front of her before beginning to type. A nefarious smile spread across Kol’s face and he nudged his brother in the side.

“What about that one?” He asked Klaus, nodding in the direction of the girl. Klaus looked where he’d pointed and a look of recognition crossed his face.

“That’s Y/N Y/L/N, she’s the Mystic Falls High School Valedictorian,” He answered, sounding bored.

“Aww… A good girl, that’s adorable,” Kol mused, his eyes focused on the girl. Klaus shrugged.

“From what I hear, she’s some sort of child prodigy.”

“Is she now?” Kol’s smile broke into a full-on grin and he set his drink down on the bar, running a hand through his hair. “Sounds like fun to me.”

“Good luck,” Klaus chuckled. The dark-haired boy shook his head and laughed.

“Oh, I don’t need luck.” Pushing away from the bar, he strode over to where the girl sat in her lonely booth, typing away. “Hello, darling.”

The girl didn’t look up, she just kept typing. Then she paused… she scrunched up her face… and continued typing. He figured she was off in her own little world and couldn’t hear him with those headphones on. So he slid into the booth beside her and leaned over, pushing one speaker off her ear. Her gaze slid from her computer screen to him and she raised a brow.

“Hi.” Kol flashed her his most innocent smile. In his hundreds of years on this planet, Kol had dated hundreds of girls like her - sweet, shy, and oh-so-innocent - nine times out of ten, he was the last boy those girls ever dated. Dolcina, for example - so beautiful and delectable and dead within the week. Good girls with good hearts made for tasty desserts. Besides, they always gave a good chase and that was half the fun.

The girl turned her head and flicked her sharp E/C eyes up and down his figure, but not the way he was used to. Her gaze wasn’t admiring, it was more cutting than that - like she was studying him, searching him for any and all the information she could gather. Then she opened her mouth.

"Athazagoraphobic, emotionally dysregulated, compulsive flirt," She said, turning back to her laptop.

Kol blinked. Of all the responses he’d been expecting, that had not been one of them. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me just fine,” The girl replied. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips and her fingers continued tapping against the keyboard.

“I did,” He admitted, nodding. “But that’s not a very nice thing to say to someone.”

She snorted. “Who ever said I was nice?” The boy raised a brow, he seemed to have misjudged this one.

“Well you certainly look quite nice.”

“I’m really not,” Y/N smirked.

“That’s alright,” He said determinedly. “I like pretty little things with sharp tongues.”

She paused a moment, analyzing. Then her expression morphed into a combination of disgust and genuine confusion. "Is that some sort of pick-up line? If so, your ah... masculine wiles are in dire need of a little revision," She said.

“Oh, I like you.” He grinned. “Though for future reference, you should know that it’s not exactly polite to insult someone without knowing a thing about them, darling.” He folded his arms on the table and leaned forward, tilting his head at her. The girl scoffed, glancing at him.

“It wasn’t an insult, merely an observation - one that I came to based on things I could see after just one glance.” She sounded extremely confident. “Also, you’re quite the one to talk, considering that you seem to be incapable of keeping your eyes on my face.”

Kol tore his eyes away from admiring her delightful curves to focus on her face as she had indirectly directed. Y/N's gaze was fixed on him and her brilliant eyes held a challenge. Those eyes were deep and rolling with thoughts he couldn't decipher, but oh how he wanted to. Yes, he had most certainly been wrong about this girl, she was far more interesting than she had seemed. “What can I say?” He shrugged, grinning cheekily. “I’m an aesthete, take it as a compliment."

Y/N's mouth dropped open, she seemed genuinely surprised. "You think I'm pretty?"

Kol frowned, shaking his head. "Of course not." Her face fell but he wasn't done. "Pretty doesn't even begin to do justice to a vision such as yourself. No, I think you're nothing short of radiant, darling.  Especially those eyes, they're enchanting. " He could stare into their depths for hours, he thought, and he still wouldn't be able to tell what exactly was going on behind them.

"T-thank you…" She didn't seem to know what to do with that information.

"It's the truth." He shrugged, "Although, now I must say that if your mind is half as impressive as your outer appeal then you may never be able to get rid of me. Is it true what I heard about you?”

“Depends on who you heard it from,” She said, leaning back and crossing her arms. Kol let his eyes skim over her figure again, she was distracting. He had the sudden overwhelming urge to touch her, it felt like she was pulling him in.

“I heard you’re a genius,” He said, leaning closer.

“Y-you did?” Y/N’s voice was quieter this time, almost shy. Kol shifted closer, smirking as she moved away from him.

"That's the rumor," He hummed, moving his arm to cage her in.

“I heard a rumor too,” She said quietly, ducking her head. “You wanna know what it is?”

“Tell me,” He purred. She brought her lips close to his ear, whispering.

“I heard you suck at pool.”

Then Y/N ducked under his arm and skipped over to the billiard tables, glancing back to stick her tongue out and flip him off. Kol sat there for a moment, stunned. Y/N was smart, wicked smart, and had he been slightly less distracted by her gorgeous appearance he might have found the sense to be concerned about that. But he was very distracted. He glanced at Klaus and saw him get up to chase after the tasty little blonde he’d been dancing with at the ball. Normally, he would be hurt that Klaus didn’t care to stay and help him out, but again, Kol was very distracted.

“You’re on, darling.” He grinned and got up to follow Y/N to the billiard tables. The girl grabbed a cue and tossed it to him before removing the rack from the center of the table. She smiled at him sweetly.

“Go ahead,” She said, leaning on her cue. “You break.”

“My pleasure.” He didn’t even look at the table as he set up and took his shot, electing instead to keep his eyes on her. He hit his mark and the balls split, ricocheting off the sides of the table. He sank two balls on the first shot and hissed. “Oh dear, look at that... It would appear that rumor of yours is wrong, darling. What a shame."

“Guess you shouldn’t believe everything you hear, huh,” Y/N mused. She smirked at him and leaned down to take her shot. The ceramic spheres made a loud crack and Y/N sank three of them. Kol raised a brow, more than a little impressed. It had been a long, long time since he'd found himself a good challenge. The genius looked up, eyeing him critically, seeming to consider something. "I want your leather jacket," She announced for no particular reason.

Kol laughed. “That’s rather forward of you, but I am nothing if not a gentleman. As you wish, my lady.” He shrugged the jacket off and handed it to her.

“Thanks.” She tossed her hair and pulled it on.

The boy blinked and his throat went dry. She just looked so perfect. He hadn't even really considered it - he hardly knew this girl - and yet, she almost looked more natural wearing his jacket than he did. It was the strangest feeling that washed over him. Kol wanted to reach out and touch her, hold her because - and he was fully aware of how absurd the idea sounded - but it felt like he'd always been destined to do so. There was this warm sensation in his chest and it was like she was made just for him. No one else - just his, completely and utterly his. The possessive animal inside him stirred at the sight. Kol had never been particularly suited to self-restraint; when he liked something, he took it. Now, there was a genius of a girl standing in front of him, wearing his jacket and he wanted her. He'd never needed to kiss anyone more in his life, or his death.

Y/N narrowed her eyes at him.

"What?" She asked. He shook himself out of his stupor, pointing to the jacket,

“Did you mean you want that to borrow or…”

“You’re not getting this back,” Y/N deadpanned. His brows shot up at her lack of tact.

“Alright, fair enough. But as long as you’re wearing my clothes, you should at least ask me my name,” He reasoned. She thought about that for a moment.

“Yeah, okay. What’s your name?”

The smile she gave him was genuine this time and it sparked something inside him. It was like standing under a total solar eclipse. Though he hadn't known her for very long, he understood that smile was something rare. Kol had always been fascinated by rare, unique things, not to mention dangerous ones. Y/N just so happened to qualify as all three, and the sharpness in that girl's eyes left him wanting. Just the idea that she might concede to his desires this much excited him. How far might she let him push?

“I’m Kol,” He said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” The boy reached for her hand but she pulled it away from him swiftly.

“Hello, Kol.” Maybe he would have found her behavior strange but he was too captivated by the way her tongue rolled around his name. He could imagine what it might be like to kiss her - how she might taste. Not only the flavor of her lips but everything inside her - he wanted it all.

His eyes drifted to her neck where he could faintly detect the thrumming of her pulse just beneath her perfect skin - the crimson spring flowing in her veins, just waiting for Kol to drink his fill. Desire overwhelmed him in an instant, fiery and demanding. He'd always found it difficult to separate lust from bloodlust and he'd never had the restraint to deny himself either one. He wanted both from her. He wanted to kiss her neck and bite it. He needed to pet her skin and tear it.

That girl's voice broke through his cloud of temptation.

He didn't want to hurt her, she was special. “It’s your turn. Also, this jacket smells good.”

Kol couldn’t help but laugh. What a peculiar lass. “Thank you?”

“You’re wel-” Y/N’s beautiful smile fell and her eyes focused on something behind him. “Oh, please tell me you’re not that stupid.”

Kol never got the chance to see what she was talking about. A sharp, searing pain he knew all too well bloomed in his chest - the pain of a dagger being shoved into his heart. A tortured whimper escaped his lips as every vein in his body burned and ran dry. He could feel his body shutting down, his hearing dulled and darkness swam in his vision. The last thing he saw was Y/N’s expression morphing into one of confusion and then horror. The last thing he heard before his heart stopped was her voice.

“Wait. Y-you’re hurting him. Stop!”

***

You tore your hands through your hair as you watched the life fade from Kol's eyes. The expression on his innocent features the moment that dagger pierced his heart would haunt you forever. Normally, the pain of others amused you, but not this time. Kol looked like he was in agony, and not only that, he had looked terrified. There was something in his eyes - something far, far too familiar because you'd seen it too many times before in your own - it was desperate and pleading. You could almost hear him screaming the same words you'd offered so many times as a child.

"Please don't lock me in here! I can focus! I can be good! Please don't leave me! Please don't lock me in!"

The boy's body slumped to the floor, obscured from the view of other customers by Meredith Fell's body. You bent down to him, taking his ashen face in your hands and letting your skin burn his in an effort to wake him up.

"No, no no… Kol, wake up!" He didn't wake up. Alaric raised a brow.

"You're a psychopath, what do you care?" He asked. You glared at him ferociously.

"Do you idiots have any idea what you've just done?" You spat with venom.

Meredith Fell scoffed, looking offended. "We just saved your life! How 'bout a little gratitude?"

"Gratitude?" You seethed. "Gratitude? You didn't save my life, you've just ended it!"

"Excuse me?"

"You made me complicit in this!" You whisper-shouted. "You just made me a target!"

"I'm sorry, but did you see the way he was looking at you?" Fell demanded.

"He wasn't going to hurt me," You insisted.

"He was staring at your neck!"

"He was just curious!" You argued. "Vampires do that!" Never once had you thought you would defend a vampire, especially an original, but they had been... wrong to stab him. Besides… Kol had called you pretty. Nobody had ever called you pretty before. You were always just smart - smart enough to know when someone was lying and Kol hadn't - you'd never been pretty.

"Okay, we can talk about this later but we need to go," Alaric said. He slung Kol's arm over his shoulders and Meredith took the other side and together they dragged a desiccated vampire corpse out of a busy bar in broad daylight. You grabbed a napkin and stomped after them, scribbling down your name and address as you went. Just before they reached the alley door, you slipped in front of Meredith and Alaric. "What are you doing?" The latter asked as you stuffed the napkin with your information on it into the mostly dead vampire's pocket.

"Giving myself something of a chance," You mumbled, switching your pen out for a sharpie and writing: 'Check your pocket,' on Kol's hand. You looked up. "Also, you guys can tell Stefan and Damon that this is the last time I do them any favors. From now on it's tit-for-tat only. Good luck stormin' the castle."

Then you turned on your heel and went home. Two hours later, you got a text from Stefan.

"I'm sorry about what happened."

But you weren't taking any of that.

"Save it. We both know you don't mean it. No more favors."

A few minutes later:

"I understand."

The doorbell rang downstairs and your head shot up. Showtime. You couldn't hear whoever was at the door, but you could hear your mother. You were pretty sure people in Australia could hear your mother.

"No, no! Absolutely not! My daughter is a prodigy with an IQ of 180, and I will not have boys like you with your fake British accent, distracting her from her future. Now get off my porch before I call the police!"

You huffed a bitter laugh. The only future that woman cared about was her own because she'd birthed a genius and didn't that make her just so frickin' special. Special enough to scream at original vampires, apparently. Your mother was lucky that she was protected from the boy at the door by the magical barrier that kept him out, otherwise, she would probably be dead four times over.

"'Round the back, second balcony. You can climb right?" You kept your voice level and waited, knowing he could hear you.

There was a tapping on your balcony window. You smirked and turned around, moving to open the door. There stood Kol.

"Hello, darling." He was smiling and that made you uneasy. He should be mad… right?

"How'd you like the welcome wagon?" You asked, making a vague gesture in reference to what had happened downstairs. Kol grimaced.

"Your mother is…" He trailed off, shaking his head as if at a loss for words. "A special brand of awful."

"She's just a gem, ain't she?" You agreed, voice drenched in sarcasm.

"And on vervain," He noted.

"Yeah, sorry about that." You shrugged. "They slip it into the water supply here from time to time, just a heads up."

"Ah!" Kol nodded. "That explains it. I take it you know what I am?"

"I do." You smirked. The smile slipped from Kol's face and he stepped closer to the invisible barrier.

"Did you know they were going to dagger me?" He demanded, eyes darkening.

"No," You replied evenly. "I had no idea."

"Really?"

"I said no."

"I heard you, but you could be lying," He countered.

"You would know if I was lying, Kol," You pointed out. "You can hear my heartbeat."

"You're right." He nodded. His eyes flicked over your figure as if he were trying to reason something out. Then he held up his hand. Your handwriting, although a bit smudged, was still visible. "I got your little message… which doesn't come off, by the way. Is this all you wanted? To plead your innocence?"

"Well, unlike some people in this town, I actually have a brain. Plus, I like living. So the highly probable scenario of you hunting me down after the grill incident, doesn't work out for me too well. I figured you should know the truth before the next time you saw me so I wouldn't end up being dinner." You turned away from him and strode over to your bedside table, opening the drawer and retrieving a bottle of hand sanitizer. You closed the drawer and turned back to him. "This will get the marker off," You said, twirling the bottle.

A smirk spread across Kol's face and your stomach felt all weird all of a sudden. Were you coming down with something?

"Thank you, darling. Why don't you step out here and hand that to me?" He suggested, watching you with a look you couldn't identify.

You pretended to think about his proposition. "Mmmmm… Nah!" Then you tossed him the bottle which he caught with a slight frown.

"So there's no other reason you wanted me to come to your house?" He asked with a gentle smile. He looked so much like an eighteen-year-old boy then as he squirted some sanitizer on his hand and started rubbing the marker off. He looked so cute and innocent. You almost forgot he was an original vampire. Why did you want to forget that?

That look on his face when the dagger had pierced his heart flashed through your mind's eye, the pain of it. You remembered what it was like to feel that desperate fear. And he had called you pretty…

"I guess I also wanted to make sure you were okay," You admitted quietly. You never thought you would say those words to a vampire but here you were.

Kol froze and slowly looked up at you. "What?" His voice was so quiet and his expression held nothing but cautious disbelief. As if he were scared to hope that someone might care about him enough to ask that.

You bit your lip, fidgeting with your fingers nervously. "Th-the dagger-" You said. Your usually eloquent speech came out choppy, unsure. "You looked..." Your voice trailed off as you found yourself incapable of tearing your eyes away from his.

'You looked like me,' you wanted to say.

Of course, you couldn't say what you were really thinking. You cleared your throat and settled for, "It's just that getting stabbed doesn't sound too comfortable, so... A-are you alright?" The boy at your window shuffled his feet a bit.

"Honestly?" He sighed, dragging a hand through his dark hair. His hair looked soft. "It's been a bit of a rough night. Got daggered, which - you know, actually it's worse then getting stabbed if you can believe that - hurts like hell. Then, lucky me, when I woke up I found out that my own mother wants to kill her son for the abomination she made of me when she stripped away everything I ever loved." Kol's voice broke at the end and, as much as he was trying to appear unaffected by the night's events, you could tell that they seriously bothered him. More than that, really. He was in pain, and he was alone and he had to tell someone. Even if they could never understand. You did, though. More than he knew.

"I suppose you should know that I knew about that," You said softly, not wanting him to get mad. "Not about the dagger but I did know about your mom." His head shot up and the look in his eyes was one of hurt and betrayal.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He demanded, blinking rapidly.

"Because I'm not on your side." You rubbed your wrist, reassuring yourself that he couldn't come in.

"So you're with those dull-eyed cretins who want to kill me for no reason?" He accused, voice rising.

"Of course not," You scoffed. "Elena and her cult are all idiots."

"Then who's side are you on?!" He shouted. The doorframe to your balcony split with a sharp crack as his fist collided with it. You understood that anger - felt it before - not that he could see. Holes in your walls had been covered. Bruises on classmates had healed. Even so, you flinched, stumbling back. Then Kol did something you didn't expect. He blinked, and the anger in his eyes flickered out. He lifted his hands peaceably. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."

Why would he apologize?

You nodded slowly but didn't come any closer. "I'm not on anyone's side, Kol. I just don't wanna die," You explained. "I don't really know you a-and Jeremy says Klaus and your family are the bad guys."

"And this Jeremy character just decides who's good and who's bad?" He tilted his head. "Why should you let him decide for you?"

"B-because I don't-" You shook your head and looked away. Kol's brows furrowed.

"You don't… what?"

"I can't tell the difference," You whispered. "Good and bad… it's hard for me."

It was hard - harder than it should have been. You felt such kinship with this boy - monster, whatever he was - but you couldn't side with him. You didn't even really understand why. Kol hadn't done anything wrong - not yet anyway.

Kol stepped closer to the invisible barrier that kept him out. "Do you think I'm bad?" He asked softly. It was confusing. He just seemed so... nice - almost sweet. No one talked to you that way. But, then again, he was a vampire, and preying upon human beings is usually frowned upon, so wasn't that enough?

"You're a vampire," You answered.

"But do you think I'm bad?" He pressed.

"I-I don't know." You shook your head.

This was all so confusing. Was he truly evil? Bloodlust was only in his nature - he couldn't help it. It's not considered morally wrong for a lion to prey on a gazelle. If Kol was a predator then how could you blame him for doing the supernatural equivalent? He didn't seem so bad but everyone said he was. Kol made you want to question everything you knew. You hated being unsure of things. You shrank away, hugging your arms around yourself. To your surprise, the boy said nothing. He just tilted his head patiently, giving you time to think.

It wasn't morality you needed to question here, you decided. It was safety. Your safety. If Kol was a predator, he would be tempted to hurt you. That wasn't safe. (It was a flimsy reason but you had to believe in something.)

"You're a vampire, Kol. You wanna hurt me."

He shook his head. "No, I don't."

He was lying; he had to be.

"Yes, you do! I'm human; you want my blood."

Kol sighed. "While I can't deny that last bit, I can say that I would much rather just have you." He chuckled a bit. "I happen to like you."

You shook your head. "I can't trust you."

"You don't have to be afraid of me, Y/N." His voice was so gentle and you wanted to believe him.

"Yes, I do. Fear keeps me alive," You insisted. "I mean, how many girls have you kissed and killed?"

Kol grimaced. "A lot. I'll admit to that, but I didn't really like any of them."

"And how do I know you're not lying?"

"You're smart enough to know when someone is lying, darling," He said, his lips twitching up in a smile. "I promise you can trust me."

You wanted to. You wanted to trust him so badly. He didn't seem like the bad guy. And if he was... then how many flimsy excuses made you different from him?

"I-I can't..."

"I know ." He nodded. You wondered what emotion could make his voice sound so thin. "But I'm asking."

You blinked. "Asking what?"

"Please don't be afraid," Kol begged. There was something very desperate in his eyes as he watched you. "I don't need much. Just one night. Please don't say there's nothing good left in me."

"How can I know?" You asked.

"Invite me in."

Your whole body tensed at the idea and you backed away from the balcony door, shaking your head. Kol had been right before, you knew how to spot a liar. "Why?"

A pained smile flickered across Kol's face and he took a shuddering breath. "I'd like to prove myself to you, if you'll let me… but mostly, I…" He trailed off, biting his lip and looking away.

"What?"

"I don't want to go home," He whispered. "My siblings are there and my mother wants to kill us all and I just… I don't want to see them right now…"

"Oh…"

That was right. He didn't need any more reminders. You knew how badly those hurt.

How could he be the bad guy? He hadn't lied at all and he wasn't even acting the least bit rude. Kol was kind, he treated you with respect - that was more than you could say of Elena and the so-called good guys. Jeremy was always good to you, but the rest of them? They only treated you with contempt. But this boy made you feel warm inside. How could Kol feel so warm and so familiar yet still be bad? It didn't make any sense!

"May I please stay with you for a bit? J-Just until you fall asleep a-and then I'll go. I promise. Please?"

You couldn't believe you were about to do this.

"You can come in."

A radiant smile spread across Kol's face. Then suddenly he was standing right in front of you. You gasped in fright and scrambled back, getting ready to defend yourself but Kol held his hands up in surrender.

"No, no! I'm sorry - I didn't think that through. Don't be afraid?" He pleaded, his eyes warm and kind.

"Alright." Your voice sounded small and the way he was looking at you made your heart flutter. "Now what?"

Kol grinned, and it made you happy because you could tell that he was. "Now I say thank you," He said, lifting a hand to touch your cheek. You quickly pulled away and felt a twinge of guilt when he looked hurt.

"You don't want to do that, Kol," You warned him, shaking your head.

"What do you mean?"

"You don't want to touch me," You clarified.

He smirked. "I really think I do." For the briefest moment, Kol skimmed his knuckles across your cheek and for once - just a split second - you didn't feel so utterly alone. Then he hissed in pain and pulled his hand away, frowning at the burned skin. "How?"

"Vervain." You shrugged. "I put it in pretty much everything… You know, soap, lotion, shampoo - I wash my clothes with it too."

"Oh." He looked disappointed for a moment, then he blinked twice and his eyes flicked back to you. Judging by the cheeky grin that spread across his face, you guessed he had an idea. "What about lipstick?"

"I don't wear lipstick…" You answered wondering where he was going with this.

"Perfect," Kol breathed.

"Huh?"

He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around your back, yet he didn't burn and you realized you were still wearing his jacket. Watching you carefully, he leaned down. You were confused as to what he was trying to do until Kol settled his lips on yours. You froze. You had never kissed anyone before, you had never been interested in kissing anyone. Everyone you knew thought you were a psychopath, they didn't give you the time of day. Besides, they were all slower than cold tar and that was just unappealing. This was new, he was new, and you had no idea what you should do so you just stood still. Did you want him to kiss you? Did you want to kiss him? You weren't sure. Why did feelings have to be so freaking confusing?

It was like he knew all that, though - like he knew this was your first. So he started you out slow. His lips hardly moved at first, just barely pressing and nipping at your own. You didn't pull away so he came back in and pressed just a little harder. Kol's lips were soft, the kiss was tender and thoughtful, and his hands were gentle - his previous confidence was gone and it felt as if he were afraid of scaring you away.

"How was that?" He whispered against your lips.

"Uh... p-pretty great," You stammered.

"Yeah?"

"Uh, huh."

He grinned. "Want me to do it again?"

"Uh, huh."

And he did. His lips moved against yours and this time you kissed him back. Kol moved his hands to your sides, careful to keep them on his jacket, and squeezed lightly. His touch had you relaxing for reasons you couldn't name, and you melted into him just a little. But it wasn't only you. Like a man seeking shelter from a storm, the boy sighed softly as his tongue flicked along your lower lip. You gasped and his grip on your waist tightened reassuringly.

"Relax," He whispered against your lips. "I won't hurt you."

"Okay." You nodded, fisting his shirt because you felt a little dizzy.

"More?"

You nodded and he captured your lips again. This was good, you decided; you liked this. Kol kept kissing you for a little while, flinching every now and then when your noses touched and you accidentally burned him. When he did pull away, he watched your flushed face with a bright smile.

"This mean you trust me now? He asked hopefully.

"I don't know, " You answered honestly.

"That's alright." He nodded. "Guess I'll just have to keep working to earn it then."

"Guess so," You agreed softly. There was a moment's pause. "How long were you in that coffin?" You asked out of the blue.

He frowned. "Nearly a century… why?"

"You need to see Men in Black," You decided. You grabbed a blanket and your laptop and rushed over to your bed, setting up the device.

"What are you-"

You patted the spot on the bed beside you. "Come here!"

Kol did as he was told, albeit cautiously, and when he reached the side of your bed you grabbed his shirt and pulled him down to sit beside you. He chuckled at your eagerness but sat down anyway, stretching his long legs out as much as he could. You placed the blanket over him so you could lay across his chest without taking the chance of hurting him and pressed play.

"So I take it, Men in Black is some sort of motion picture?" He spoke as the opening credits began.

"It's about aliens," You said. "You'll like it, it's funny."

"I'll take your word for it, darling."He chuckled, smiling softly.

"Good," You grinned. "But if you lose control and try to eat me, just know that I'll punch you really, really hard."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Then you shushed him because Tommy Lee Jones was on screen.

***

Damon’s face was not something you wanted to see at eleven in the AM - or ever - but the doorbell rang and there he was.

“Tit-for-tat, right?” He said as soon as you opened the door.

“Yeah,” You replied cautiously.

“La Familia Original know where your bestie is, we’re gonna go pick him up.” He informed you. “Wanna come?”

You leaned against the doorframe, arms folded. “Of course I do. What do you want in return?”

“I don’t know yet, but I’ll tell you when I do,” He said, smirking.

“Let me pack a bag.”

Twenty-three hours later, you were in Denver. Apparently, Jeremy was at a batting cage in town where he was waiting on a friend. He had been adamant about not telling you anything about this friend until you met him, insisting as soon as the two of you did meet that he was going to become the third wheel real quick. You stepped out of the car and rolled your back, flinching when it sounded like bubble wrap. As you approached the batting cages, your mind drifted to wonder briefly about what Kol was doing. Since his overnight stay at your house, the two of you had been getting along brilliantly - you might even go so far to say you were friends. You hadn’t seen him in person since he had visited you to tell you that he had to leave to do something to help protect his family, but he had called you every day. You hadn’t asked him where he was or what he was doing - the two of you were on opposite sides of a war and you understood that, so you weren’t going to betray his trust by asking for information like some sort of spy. You couldn’t help wonder what he was doing though, and you couldn’t ignore the dread building in the back of your mind as the likelihoods started to line up. You just hoped you were wrong.

“There he is.” Elena pointed, pulling you from your thoughts.

“Next time we compel him, remind me to make him better at baseball,” Damon grimaced, watching Jeremy swing and miss… over… and over. You hummed your agreement - no offense to your best friend, but he sucked. Elena huffed and moved over to the cage.

“Hey, Jer!” She called out. Jeremy turned around.

“Elena?” He asked, surprised but happy. His gaze turned you and you sent him a little wave. “Y/N?”

“Sup, Crackhead,” You grinned teasingly. He rolled his eyes and noticed Damon, then his face fell.

“What’s wrong?” He sighed.

“We’re here to bust you outta hillbilly hell!” You exclaimed, leaving out the threat on his life.

“I know you are, Y/N/N, but what’s he here for?” Jeremy narrowed his eyes at Damon and what should have been obvious dawned on you. They needed something from him. What a wonderful sister he had to only come and save him when it conveniences her. Jeremy stepped out of the cage to put his bat away and Damon followed.

“Kathren sired us, Rose sired Kathren, now all we gotta do is figure out who sired Rose,” He explained.

“So, you traveled across the country to get me to talk to a dead vampire?” Jeremy surmised.

“Yall realize the absolute astronomical degree to which you suck, right?” You added, feeling the need to be Jeremy’s annoyance translator. Damon glared at you.

“Dead vampire’s redundant, but yes.”

“Well, I can’t.” Jeremy shrugged. Damon and Elena shot him a questioning glance. “I could talk to Anna and Viki because I knew them.” He put his helmet away and turned back to face Damon and Elena and you who trailed behind them. “I’ve never even met Rose.”

“What good is you dying and coming back if you can’t talk to a ghost when I need you to?” Damon complained. Jeremy rolled his eyes and you again felt the need to translate.

“You are, without a doubt, the supreme absolute worst.”

Elena sighed. “Rose spent a lot of time running from Klaus as well, she and Damon were close so maybe we can use him as a connection,” She suggested.

“Like a long-distance call on an old-timey phone system.” You nodded, looking at Jeremy. “It could work.”

It was your friend’s turn to sigh. “Fine! Fine, but can we do this later? My friend just got here, and yes, Damon, I actually have some.”

Damon hummed. “Oh, so not just the desperate tag along then?” You reached up, pulled off your glove, and grabbed the back of his neck, burning him. He hissed and ducked out of your grasp.

Jeremy smirked but tried to hide it with an eye roll. “I’ll call you when I’m done.” He leaned over and gave Elena a kiss on the cheek. She turned with him.

“Jer-” Then she stopped, her eyes widening in fear. “Damon, it’s Kol!”

Your heart dropped and you felt a hand pushing you aside. You should have known better. The dark-haired boy stepped forward and swung a bat, smacking Damon in the face and knocking him to the ground. The bat snapped in two and he discarded the piece he was holding.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Jeremy cried out, stumbling away from the boy he thought he’d known. He hadn’t known him. You should have known better.

“Jeremy, get back. He’s an original!” Elena warned.

“What?”

“No hard feelings, mate,” Kol said. “But we’re not buds.” His gaze flicked over to you briefly, and an expression of guilt drifted over his features. Then it was gone and he picked up another bat, a metal one this time. “You know, I’ll never get used to aluminum. But hey, at least it won’t break.” Damon got to his knees just as Kol turned around to swing. The movement was too fast for you to see but, a moment later, Kol was on the ground with a really big sliver sticking out of his chest.

“D-did you kill him?” Jeremy stammered, glancing rapidly between the corpse and the vampire who put it there.

“No,” Damon groaned. “But it’ll give us a head start. Come on.” He pulled Elena with him and you followed, glancing down at Kol’s body. Damon swung around jabbing his finger in your direction. “Not you,” He said.

“What?” Jeremy demanded. “We’re not leaving her!”

“Yeah, we are.” Damon raised a brow at you. “Tit-for-tat, remember? Slow him down, I don’t care what it takes.” He smirked. “Go full psycho on the bastard.”

“He’ll kill her!” Jeremy argued. Your eyes drifted to Kol’s body again. He’d been here for almost a month, waiting to kill your best and only friend at any moment. You should have known better. Some revenge sounded pretty good, actually.

“Yeah, alright.” You knelt on the ground beside Kol’s corpse and swung your bag off your shoulder.

“Come on, Jer.” Elena tried to tug her brother along but he wouldn’t budge.

“No!”

You glanced up, giving Jeremy a reassuring look. “Go,” You said.

“He could hurt you, Y/N,” Jeremy insisted.

You smirked. “Oh, he won’t get the chance.”

You didn't pay the trio any further attention as you zipped open your bag, pulled out a syringe of vervain, and ripped the cap off with your teeth. Leaning over carefully, you plunged the needle into Kol's jugular and injected the liquid into his system. Then you grabbed him by the hands and dragged his body into the parking lot.

The batting cages had emptied suspiciously but you didn't worry about that. Instead, you worried about how you were going to manage to lift approximately two hundred pounds of original vampire into the trunk of the car you were about to steal. Halfway through the parking lot, you looked up, wiping your brow and searching for a car you would be able to shove a cadaver into. You spotted a low-riding sports car and turned back to Kol.

"Eat some roughage, will you?" You joked as you attempted to shove his corpse into the back seat. (Turns out the trunk was too small. Que that once scene from Tangled where Rapunzel tries to shove Flinn in her closet.)

Once that was taken care of, you hopped into the driver’s seat and hotwired the car - thanks Youtube. Whipping out the GPS on your phone, you found the nearest building you knew would be completely abandoned. Archuleta Elementary School was a quaint little building and closed for the weekend. You picked the lock on the front door and went back to the car for Kol. When you opened the door, the boy groaned and lifted his head just a tad. That wasn’t good. You clambered over him and cautiously placed a hand on the makeshift stake sticking out of his back. The wood was slick with blood and more of the substance had pooled on the seat but luckily you weren’t squeamish. Grasping the broken bat firmly, you steeled your nerves and twisted. Even unconscious, Kol cried out and the sound tugged at your heartstrings. Who was the bad guy now? You shook that thought away and pulled him out of the car.

Lugging him up the steps of the school was murder but eventually, after getting lost in the hallways three times, you yanked his sorry rear end into the gym. You noticed that you had left a trail of blood from his corpse behind you but didn’t bother to clean it up. So what if some kids stumbled across it? They’d be fine because you know… color theory! After finding a chair, you fished some duct tape out of your bag and secured Kol to the seat with it. Then, you pulled out your stun gun. Removing the battery just to be safe, you popped off the panels at the front and removed the barbs. What you were doing was cruel, but you couldn’t afford to take any chances. You insured the prongs were securely set in Kol's chest, then dragged the reel out so you could sit on the bleachers and reinsert the battery.

“Now, we wait,” You said to no one in particular as you watched the boy's chest rise and fall in weak, labored breaths.

Watching Kol was the real torture. You couldn't take your eyes off him and you couldn't ignore the guilt building in your chest. You worked your jaw and tried to focus on anything else. You'd never actually tortured anyone before but you hadn't thought it would be this difficult and you hadn't even started. You couldn't help but think it wouldn't be so hard if it weren't him you were going to hurt. Anybody else and you would feel a thing. Why was he any different?

You couldn’t ignore the guilt building in your chest. Watching Kol was torture. He had never seemed like the bad guy, but now he looked like the victim - your victim. You were about to torture him - intentionally cause him pain. And for what? For trying to ensure his survival and the survival of his family? Isn’t that what you would do? How could you condemn him? He looked so innocent while he was asleep.

What made Kol any different from you?

You spat out a curse, frustrated with the dead-end your thoughts were taking you. His eyes fluttered open.

“Good mornin’, Sunshine,” You greeted him.

Kol shifted and groaned feebly, it sounded more like a whimper, really. Then he lifted his head and the look in his eyes as he focused on you tore at everything you had ever felt. He whispered something but it was too soft for you to make it out.

“What?” You asked. He let out a shuddering cough and moaned again.

“Get it out of me,” He said a little louder. He coughed again. “Please?”

You had left the stake impaled through his chest, that was probably what he was referring to. He was in agony again, just like with the dagger. His face was pale - just like yours had been so many, many times - and the compassion that normally evaded you attacked your conviction with full force.

“I can’t,” You said, voice thin and taught as a hair.

“Please?” He was begging. How did this make you a good guy?

“You’ll hurt me if I take that out.”

“No, I won’t,” Kol shook his head weakly. The cough that escaped him this time sounded wet and sickly as if the wound was getting worse instead of healing. “You know I won’t.”

“I don’t know anything.” You sat up straighter - as if steeling your spine might keep him out of your head. Only for once, it wasn't your head that was the problem. There was something in your chest and it clenched painfully when you looked at him as if he had a hand wrapped around your heart.

Kol met your eyes.

“I’ll never hurt you.” His words shook you. He’d never said that before, he’d always been careful with the way he said things. He didn’t make commitments. With Kol, there was always a way out. But not this time. This time he wanted you to know that he was in no way the bad guy, not when it came to you. But could you trust him? “I promise I’ll never hurt you.”

There were tears in those warm, brown eyes. You'd made a god bleed and a devil weep.

Was he really the evil in the room?

You questioned each step as you took it, one foot in front of the other, closer and closer to the deadly vampire, keeping a firm grip on your stun gun. When you stood right in front of him, you could see just how pained he looked. It hurt.

"Take it out of me," He pleaded again.

"Do I just… rip it out?" You wondered. All you got was a hum in reply. You gripped the handle sticking out of his chest and counted down. "Alright, one… two…" You tore the bat from his chest and he screamed, pulling against the duct tape you had tied him down with. The degree of his pain was unexpected. You couldn't help but wince. Whatever it was about a vampire's healing factor that seemingly took the edge off of normally fatal wounds must have been rendered null by the same plant that sapped his strength. The tape strained but didn't break thanks to the vervain pumping through his system.

Kol took a deep shaking breath. "What happened to three?" He wondered, groaning.

"You lost your three privileges when you moved to Denver to use my best friend as a bargaining chip," You replied coolly.

Kol blinked and looked up. "Jeremy? Jeremy Gilbert is your best friend?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, he is."

"Never would have seen that coming…" He said, wide-eyed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked, tilting your head. Kol grimaced, seeming to regret his words.

"Well, you're just so intelligent and he's so…."

"He's so what?" You demanded,

"Not?" He eyed your stun gun. "What does that thing do exactly?"

You frowned. "This." Then you pulled the trigger. A choked gasp escaped his lips and Kol's body arched, as 20,000 volts flooded his nervous system for as long as you held the trigger. The boy's form writhed and convulsed with an agonized groan, his mouth frozen open in a silent scream.  When you released the button, he relaxed, chest heaving.

"That's not fun," He hissed through clenched teeth. You tried your best to ignore the hurt in his eyes - the way he twitched when you took a step closer.

"It's not supposed to be," You said. "This is a police issue stun gun capable of delivering 20,000 volts of electricity to your nervous system via nineteen pulses each second. Typical stun guns only allow one to shock their target for up to five seconds, but I have removed such safety features specifically for this purpose."

Kol's expression drew into one of dread, he shook his head. “How about we discuss this like civilized people?”

“This stun gun has two modes,” You continued.” The first is called Pulse mode, which you just experienced. Pulse mode causes neuromuscular incapacitation as the neural signals that control muscles become uncoordinated, forcing your muscles to contract at random. The second mode, Drive-Stun, utilizes pain to render a subject compliant.”

“I don’t like any of those words,” Kol said, biting his lip.

“You know what I don’t like? I don’t like being proved wrong!” You exclaimed. “I thought I could trust you!���

“You can trust me!” He insisted.

“Trust you to hurt my friends, you mean?” You challenged.

“Friends?” He scoffed. “That’s a nice word for people who leave you to die, isn’t it?”

“They didn’t-”

“How long’s it been since they scarpered off like rats? Have they even bothered to call you - make sure you’re alright?” He wondered. If your watch was correct - three hours was the answer he was fishing for. And he was right. They hadn’t. They hadn’t called, they hadn’t texted, they had done nothing. His eyes burrowed into yours, begging you to see what you’d known all along. “They don’t care about you.”

He was wrong. Jeremy cared about you. Jeremy had to care about you. No one else did.

You clenched your jaw.

"Shut up." You sent another 20,000 volts through him again. Kol groaned but he wasn't done.

"You know, I think they'd be relieved if I killed you?" He said, panting.

"Shut. Up." ZAP!

"I would never hurt you. But they don't know that. They wouldn't leave you with me if they knew - there would be no point."

"Stop it." ZAP!

"You know what they think, darling?" Kol wet his lips, shaking his head. His voice was so soft - so gentle. You didn't deserve that. "Sweetheart, I can tell you what they think," He offered.

"Stop talking." You shook your head, feeling the tears slip down your cheeks. Who else did you really have? "I don't wanna hear it. Just stop!" ZAP!

"They think you could snap at any moment. And it terrifies them."

Why was everyone always scared of you? What did you ever do? You had only ever tried to help.

"I said stop talking!" ZAP!

Half of you wanted to shock him until he passed out, but you had to release the trigger early because Kol threw his head back and screamed and it just sounded so damn familiar. You couldn't stand to hear it. The firm set of your lips dissolved, your hands shook, and your convictions wavered. Kol relaxed, panting. It wasn't pity in his eyes when he looked up at you. It was compassion - kinship.

"Darling, if I killed you, they wouldn't have to worry about you switching sides - about choosing the person who actually cares about you over them," The boy said.

You didn't pull the trigger that time.

"Y-you care? About me?" There were tears in your eyes. You hadn't cried in years.

"I would never hurt you," He repeated, breaths ragged, voice strained. "I would never allow you to be hurt. Can you say the same of them?" All you could do was shake your head. "You don't want to do this, Y/N, I can see it in your eyes. You are capable of so much and it terrifies them. See, you and I are the same that way. Don't let them manipulate you, darling."

His logic bested yours.

You had always carried a knife in your bag. You pulled it out now. Kol eyed the blade with a cautious gaze, but there was no reason to. You knelt beside the chair and cut the duct tape holding him down. Within a blink, you found yourself wrapped in Kol’s arms.

His lips attacked your skin. He spared a kiss to your throat, another on your cheek, and the last found the corner of your lips - harsh and needy and passionate though he couldn't enjoy you for long. The embrace was brief, as your clothes and skin burned him, but it was nice all the same.

“I don’t know where they’re going,” You said, rubbing your wrist. You’d been torturing him, yet here he stood, gazing at you as if you were the world.

“That’s alright,” Kol smirked. “I do.”

***

Five and a half hours later, you and Kol were still driving through rural Kansas. You were in control of the Aux and introducing the thousand-year-old to some of the best music to ever exist. Currently on that list was Whole Wide World by Cage the Elephant. You were staring out the window, but you could feel Kol’s gaze shift to you every now and then.

I’d go the whole wide world

I’d go the whole world just to find her

I’d go the whole wide world

I’d go the whole wide world to find out where they hide her

Then Kol turned the car off. He was still looking at you and you could feel your cheeks heating up. He’d stopped the car in front of a large house that looked like it hadn’t been cleaned since it was built.

“So who is this lady?” You asked, avoiding what you actually wanted to ask entirely.

“Mary Porter was a pretty young maiden my family and I came across in the fourteen hundreds,” Kol answered. “My brothers and I all favored her, so did Rebekah now that I think about it…” He shook his head. “Anyway, Mary sired Rose and Klaus sired Mary. But if Elena and her posey know that they’re likely to murder me and the rest of my family and try to dump Nik in the ocean or something. So if we kill Mary, they’ll never know who they can murder.”

“Yet you trust me enough for me to know?” You left the statement as a question, asking many things at once.

“I hope I do something truly awful for you to run back to the people who would rather have you dead,” Kol said. “So, yes. I trust you.”

It was now or never.

“Back at the school, you uh… you said… You said you cared about me.” You had a difficult time forcing the words out. “Did you mean it?”

“I did… and I do.” He nodded, with the slightest smile. “I don’t know if it’s love - to be honest, I don’t know what love feels like… but I’d certainly like to find out.”

You smiled. “Me too.” Kol grinned and opened his door, snatching the broken baseball bat Damon had impaled him on from the backseat.

“I’m gonna go kill someone,” He announced, jabbing his thumb at the house. “I’ll come get you when I’m done.”

“Have fun!” You called out. He just laughed and jogged to the house. You messed around on your phone while you waited for him to come back. A few minutes later, you heard a tap on your window and grinned. The second you stepped out of the car, Kol’s lips were on yours. He kept his hands off you, not wanting to get burned, but maybe that was the moment you weren’t a good girl anymore. That was probably the moment you switched sides for good.

“Do you have to be so dramatic about it?” You asked, rolling your eyes as Kol turned off the lights to lay in wait for Damon and Elena to find Mary’s body which he’d tacked to the wall with the same broken baseball bat Damon had used to run him through with.

“Dramatic is fun,” Kol scolded playfully, planting another kiss on your lips before taking a seat. He’d kept the aluminum baseball bat and planned to beat the tar out of Damon with it - a plan you endorsed wholeheartedly.

“Can't argue with that!” You flopped onto what had previously been Mary’s bed and continued playing around on your phone. The front door of the house opened with a loud squeal and you smirked. A few minutes later, Damon and Elena entered the room, shining a flashlight on Mary Porter’s body.

“Mary,” Damon sighed.

“Quite contrary,” Kol finished, flicking on the lights.

“Drama queen,” You muttered, Kol flashed you a grin and got up. Elena stumbled away from him, eyes on you.

“Y/N?” She looked surprised… and disappointed. Kol had been right.

“Hey there, Elena.” You smirked but there was nothing happy about your expression. “Bet you didn’t think you’d be seeing me again.”

And she had the audacity to act confused. “W-what do you mean?”

“You left me to die!” You accused, bolting up. Damon tried putting a hand on your shoulder but you shook it off.

“Come on, Y/N. We knew you could protect yourself,” He scoffed.

“But you didn’t expect me to. You wanted this guy to kill me!” You said, fully intending to deck one or both of them.

“I didn’t, though!” The original pipped up. “You’re welcome!”

“That’s ridiculous!” Elena said.

“I’ll admit it was clever,” You spat. “Use me to slow him down a bit and then use him to kill me and rid yourselves of one more problem.”

“I would never-” You cut her off.

“You’ve wanted me out of Jeremy’s life since the first grade, Elena Gilbert!” You shouted. “Kol just gave you an excuse to get rid of me. An excuse Jeremy wouldn’t question.”

She shook her head. “Did you help him do this?” She demanded, gesturing to Mary’s corpse.

“Why don’t you ask him?” You retorted, glaring with all your hatred of that girl. Elena looked at Kol and he just shrugged.

“Shame about Mary, she used to be a blast. I don’t quite know what happened!” He said, grinning cheekily and moving to stand in front of the cadaver.

“You stabbed her,” You chimed.

“Ah, yes, that’s right!” He chuckled pretending to remember. “You know, I fear all the time she spent with my family might have ruined her… She was a bit of an original groupie.”

You shot him a look. “How do you even know that word?”

“You say that as if I’m some naughty child, darling!” He grinned.

“Aren’t you?”

“Alright, maybe a little.”

Then Elena was talking again. “Were you her favorite?”

“You mean did I turn her?” Kol pretended to think. “I think I did… But no, wait! Maybe it was Rebekah… There was also a Klaus period and let's not forget the Elijah affair.” His smile dropped. “I spoke to my brother, I know you’re trying to figure out who you’re descended from… Well, now you never will.”

“Too bad Elena! Looks like you can’t massacre hundreds of thousands of vampires now!” You mocked, grinning like a madwoman.

“You’re on their side now?” She gasped.

"I thought that was a little obvious, but yeah," You sneered. "Maybe this'll teach you to treat your allies better."

"I doubt it." Kol smirked and wrapped an arm around your shoulder leaning down to kiss you again - deeply, passionately - just to rub it in Elena's face.

"That's just vile." Damon grimaced. Kol broke away from devouring your lips to flash a smile that was all teeth.

"Isn't it just?" He taunted. “So! Where did we leave off?” He tapped the bat against his knee and without warning, swung, taking out Damon’s knee. Damon fell on his hands but Kol swung again and broke his arms as well.

“Elena, get out of here!” Damon cried out, quite pathetically you might add, from his position on the floor. Elena tried to run but Kol dashed in front of her.

“According to my brother, you’re off-limits,” He said, sounding rather bored with that fact. “Please don’t test me.” Then he shoved her back and you caught the girl in a headlock.

“Guess I just snapped, didn’t I?” You growled. Damon shot up and grabbed Kol by the neck.

“Don’t touch her,” He spat. Kol pouted and threw his head forward with enough force to send Damon stumbling back.

“Oh dear, love,” He laughed, glancing at you. “I think we’ve hit a nerve!”

“Good! Hit it some more!” You called back, tightening your grip on Elena’s throat. Kol smirked and turned back to Damon.

“Relax, darling! I just want us to be even. You snapped my neck, you killed my brother… and then you humiliated me.” You forced Elena to watch as Kol brought the baseball bat down on Damon’s back. Once…Twice…Three times. “There, now we’re even.” He held a hand out to you and, releasing Elena so she could run to her not-boyfriend, you took a hold of his sleeve. That was the moment you changed. You were done being used. Pausing for a moment, you turned back as you left the room.

“I warned you what would happen, Damon, if you ever tried to use me again. Too bad you didn’t listen, eh?”

Your journey continues here...

Tagging: @yn-ymn-yln @r13mar @railingsofsorrow @hellotvshowtrash

[marvelseries19]

WE THINK SHE NEEDS HELP

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader

Genre: Angst

Summary: Natasha's sister and her girlfriend come to visit and it does help to take your mind off of things for a wile. Then the next day you tried talking to Wanda again after an interesting call. It did not go as smooth as you would have liked. (I'll get better at this, I promise)

A/N: I know it takes me some time to write this, but it's not something easy to write about and I've been trying to do some research on it. I'm still new to writing this things and in general, so I'm still not sure how good this chapters are, but I do hope you like them. Any comments, suggestion or request to see something within this story are always welcomed. Likes and comments in general are appreciated too. Also, please read the warnings. The credits to my friend here @inluvwithfictionalwomen , this history wouldn't be here without her. Also, this was not proofread. Enjoy 💕

Warnings: Abusive relationship, fighting. This story contains mature themes so it's for +18. MINORS DNI. (If you find something else, let me know.)

Word count: 2.1k+

[You do not have permission to repost or translate any of my stories or claim them as yours]

The drive home was silent. Natasha didn't want to push anything knowing that it was a tough topic and if she was being honest, she didn't know how to feel either. It was a very tough situation. While you and her knew that Wanda needed it to get out, they also knew that it wasn't that simple. If she didn't admit it to herself first, it was going to be hard for her to ask for help.

You were so entranced in your own world trying to figure out how you felt about everything that you failed to notice when Natasha pulled up the car on your garage entrance. She had to gently shake your arm to tell you that you were at home already.

You felt so numb that Natasha had to guide you inside the house. She told you to take a shower and gather your thoughts. You listened to her since you weren't really in the mood to make decisions on your own. You were a mess, confused, angry. The situation was messed up and if you felt like that, you couldn't even imagine how Wanda felt.

You've never went through anything close to that and this was taking its toll on you. How were you supposed to help her if she didn't even know she needed it?

You finished your shower after who knows how long, your time perception since the fight was all over the place. You got dressed in some sweatpants and a hoodie from your college. It was the first thing you found.

When you walked to the living room, Natasha had food on the table. Now, she couldn't cook to save her life, so it was safe to assume that she had it delivered. It was Chinese, your favorite. You didn't know what you would do without her nor how to handle this whole thing alone. You were a mess as it is, imagine if she wasn't there for you.

Before you ate, you let Natasha take a shower too. You might not be a hundred percent aware of everything, but you knew she was affected too. How can she not be? Wanda is a colleague, and they might not be close, but she was still worried. Besides, she could see how affected you were, and she was worried about you too.

That's why while she was taking her shower, she found a way to cheer you up a little, at least enough for you to take a break and regroup to find a way to help Wanda.

She borrowed some of your clothes and went to seat next to you on the couch. "Guess who came to visit?" She was excited and you instantly knew who it was.

"I don't know… a blond about…" You signal someone’s height with your hand. "This tall?"

"You could have just said Yelena, you know?" Natasha said faking annoyance, with a smile. "She came to visit me with her new girlfriend"

"Are they staying in your place?" You both started eating.

"What gave it away?"

"You are here with no intention of going back to your apartment" She laughed, she knew you better than yourself and you knew her too. It's not that she didn't want to be with her sister, it's just that she wasn't ready to be alone with her and her girlfriend. She also didn’t want to leave alone.

"Listen, I don't really want to be alone with them, so..."

"You can invite them… but I'm not sharing my food" That was all Natasha needed to hear to call Yelena and invite her to your house.

--

An hour later after you had successfully cleaned the mess you left on your coffee table; you heard a soft knock on your door. You hadn't even opened the door completely and a blond had thrown herself onto your arms. "I missed you Y/N" She talked on your neck.

"I missed you too Lena" You tighten your hug a little before you lift your eyes to the brunette that was accompanying the blond. "And who is this?"

Yelena let go of the hug to look up at her girlfriend, the smile on her face showed how happy she was. "This is Kate, my girlfriend"

"Well, hello Kate, nice to meet you." You went to offer your hand for a handshake, but she went for a hug. It surprised you, but you reciprocated it. "Okay…" You laughed a little and moved to the side to let them in. "Natasha is in the kitchen making coffee, come on in" You closed the door behind them.

Everyone got settle in the living room with a cup of coffee. The conversation did help you to get your mind of off everything that was happening, of course there was a small part of it that still couldn't let go, but it was better now. It was going to be a quite night at least.

--

Quite the opposite was happening for Wanda on her house. She had made the small mistake to talk to you, which had her catching some traffic and arriving later than Vision liked. That had triggered him enough to start yelling. Not that he needed to be triggered anyways. Wanda hadn't noticed yet, but there weren't even good days anymore. At first, he would occasionally act violent, but there would be good days were they would watch movies or have dinner at the actual diner table. It wasn't all bad, but lately there were no more days like that. He has been drinking a lot more, the days he was early, he would start drinking at home, and the days he was late, claiming that it was work, although we can all assume what he was doing, or rather who, he would arrive drunk, so those calm days were gone.

The kids were scared for their mom, they could see that she wasn't happy anymore, if she ever was. They didn't doubt that she was happy with them, or that she loved them, that much was clear, but nothing was working like it was supposed to. They always heard their classmates talk about what they did with their fathers and how much they loved them, but they hadn't felt that.

That created a few problems for them. Trust issues was one of them. If they couldn't trust their own father, then in who? They felt safe with a few people, you and Wanda being the only ones.

When Tommy and Billy heard the fight over their mom being a little late, they started talking about asking for help, but who could help them with that? First, they needed an adult, second, it needed to be someone they knew and third, they needed to trust them. That reduced the list to you. They needed to ask for help, they were scared, they couldn't sleep well thinking about Vision hurting their mom anymore. They couldn't keep hearing her cry when she thought everyone was asleep. So, it was an agreement between the two brothers to call you the next day and tell you everything.

--

The next day arrived, and it was just a little less heavy than the previous one, at least for you. You had accepted that all you could really do was try to be there when she realized what was happening in her home. You knew that any attempt at talking to her would be considered as hostile now, so you decided to let things play out and be there to catch her at the end.

That was until you got an interesting call at least. You were on a free period at the end of the day, and you were grading tests when your phone started ringing. Billy's name popped up in the screen. You answered right away.

"Hi! Billy"

"Y/N, Hi, are you busy?" He sounded worried about something.

"I'm never busy for you and your brother. Why? Is everything okay?"

"I think so. Maybe? It's mom." You heard some noise on the call, so you assumed that you were on speaker. You could only guess what this was about, and it wasn't good.

"Did something happen to her?" You decided to give them the space to speak their minds instead of saying the wrong thing. You might love them as your own, but they were not yours.

"We hear them fight a lot and he is always yelling at her, we're scared Y/N, we think she needs help" That was everything you needed to lose it. Not only he was hurting her but now the twins knew it too and since you know how protective they are over her you could only imagine how bad they felt. What were you supposed to do now? How are you supposed to act when your best friend's kids ask you for help with something like this? You ended up trying to calm them after that, it turned out they knew a lot more than you did, after all you were only guessing based on what you saw on the parking lot the other day and they were right there. Besides, they were 13, not babies anymore, so it was bound to happen. You told them that you would handle it. You really needed to get some of that weight off of their shoulders.

They were just kids; they didn't need this weight on their shoulders and neither did their mom. The love you felt for them has always been something that Natasha has tease you with and as much as you acted annoyed, you weren't, not really and it was that same love that made you want to protect them. And that it's exactly what you would do, whatever it took. If their father and husband wasn't going to love them and protect them like they deserve, you were going to do it. Even if it wasn't in the way that you wanted.

Now that Tommy and Billy knew everything, you really needed to talk to Wanda. You didn't like that she was going through this, but at least her kids didn't have to know, but now that they did, she needed to get out before this went any farther. If what the kids told you was right, he was only steps away of doing something that time wouldn't fix.

You didn't want to wait any longer, so you ran to the parking lot after realizing the hour. It was safe to assume she was there, and you were right. You yelled for her to wait without any hope that she would, she had avoided you the entire day.

"Wanda... I really need to talk to you." You were breathless after running across the school, which draw some attention.

"If this is about Vision again…" She looked tired, exhausted was more accurate.

"You have to see what's happening, your kids do."

"Y/N, what are you talking about" She raised her once tired and calm voice enough to draw even more attention than you running through the halls.

"They know, the call me to ask for help. You need to do it for them" You were well aware that people were watching, and you knew how she felt about yelling.

"Do what exactly? Leave him? He is my husband Y/N!" You wished you knew this going to end up with her yelling, you might have tried doing this somewhere else.

"Yes Wanda, you should. If not for you, for them" Now you were mad and you involuntarily raised your voice too.

"He's not what you say he is!"

"Yes, he is Wanda-"

"Enough!" You both jumped a little at the voice of the principal. You had been so focused in the discussion that neither of you heard her got close. "I don't know what's happening, but this is not the place to yell about it"

"I was just-"

"Miss Y/L/N, that's enough. The day is over, go home, both of you."

You felt like a kid being scolded by the teacher, and here you thought that those days were over. After being almost kicked out by her, you realized that there a lot more people around you than you had thought. Feeling self-conscious enough, Wanda got in her car and drove away. You stood there watching her leave until she took a turn, then you went back to your classroom to get your things.

Some students approached you and asked what was going on and you gently dismissed them, telling them that it was nothing they should worry about and send them on their way. Releasing a long sigh, you got in your car and drove home. Natasha had let you know that Yelena and Kate would pick her up. They invited you, but you were in no mood to go out.

This wasn't looking good, and you only hope you got through to her before something more permanent happened.

Taglist: @siriuslydestiny @ima-gi–na-tion @kacka84 @why-31 @angryraisin @wandanatvoid @bandit2029 @stephaguirre @screechcat @jujuu23 @natsgirl @the-whitewidow @how-to-disappearrr @mymommawanda @lorsstar1st @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @heidithriel @reereeineedtopee

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Malleus Draconia Union Birthday Personal Story: Part 3

"Happy Birthday"

(Part 1) (Part 2) Part 3

[Diasomnia Dorm – Birthday Party Venue]

Riddle: Now, we move on to the next question.

Riddle: “If you were to join any dorm other than Diasomnia, which dorm would you choose?”

Malleus: A transfer, is it? I cannot imagine there would be any reason for me to do so…

Riddle: Whatever do you mean?

Malleus: No matter where I choose, I would become the Dorm Leader and build an atmosphere that suits my needs.

Malleus: Of course, that includes your very own Heartslabyul.

Riddle: In other words… If you were to choose my dormitory, you would challenge me to a duel and take from me the position of Dorm Leader?

Malleus: Indeed.

Riddle: I would like to see that. If I were to take your head with my Unique Magic, then my estimation as a mage would increase dramatically.

Malleus: For you to think that you would triumph over me, how insolent. Although, I suppose it would not be quite as entertaining, if you weren't.

Riddle: …Ahem! Pardon, we seemed to have deviated from the original discussion.

Malleus: I suppose an answer of "anywhere" is inappropriate for the purpose of this interview…

Riddle: The 7 dorms each have their own individualistic characteristics. Perhaps it would help if you viewed it from the perspective of "gaining knowledge"?

Malleus: "Gaining knowledge" …I see. I cannot think of anything new that I could possibly learn at this school…

Malleus: Ah, actually, there is one. If I were to think of increasing my comprehension in something, I would choose Ignihyde.

Riddle: That would be the dormitory that was founded on the King of the Underworld's spirit of diligence.

Malleus: Indeed. In Briar Valley, where I was born and raised, most everything is done with magic.

Malleus: However, regardless of whether they can use magic or not, Ignihyde students delve into using their machinery.

Malleus: If I were to join a dorm in which a majority of students are proficient in magical engineering, I believe it would be a perfect opportunity to obtain new knowledge.

Riddle: I see… If you were to place yourself into a vastly different environment than what you have become accustomed to, it is likely that you may learn of new experiences.

Malleus: Just by joining the dormitory and living amongst them, I am sure to be able to naturally learn how to use electronic devises.

Malleus: Eventually, I wish to gain the ability to use a smartphone to summon objects directly to my hand.

Riddle: Eh. A smartphone with the technology to summon objects…? That maybe a new magical technique… This is the first I've heard of it.

Malleus: Is that so? If one were to follow the proper procedures using their smartphone, the item of their choosing could be instantly ordered.

Malleus: I recall Lilia telling me of such a phenomenon in the past.

Riddle: Is it possible you're speaking of online shopping…? I have an inkling that magical engineering wouldn't teach you that…

Malleus: I am not quite skilled in handling machinery, however I cannot avoid the quickly arriving future.

Riddle: With this, the interview has concluded. Lastly…

Malleus: I am to receive the "Gift of Good Fortune" from my presenter, is that not right, Rosehearts?

Malleus: I am prepared. You may present it to me when you wish.

Riddle: …I am slightly shocked. I believed entirely that you would dislike this portion, Malleus-senpai.

Malleus: We had not any custom such as this in Briar Valley. Something such as this that could only be experienced while at this school is precious to me.

Riddle: So, you've been looking forward to this the most, I see. …Then, please refrain from any retaliatory lighting strikes once this experience has concluded.

Malleus: I would never strike with lighting during a celebration. Quickly now, I'm greatly looking forward to your efforts.

Riddle: I shall perform my final duty as your presenter… just as the rules state.

Riddle: MALLEUS-SENPAI, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

(Part 1) (Part 2) Part 3

[beels-burger-babe]

Storm Clouds on a Sunny Day

***Oooooo Teen!MC! Thank you for the request @lovevictoire! Now, although I think I'm technically Gen z??? (I could be a millennial. I have no idea). I have like 0 sense of most pop culture and probably won't be able to write that classic gen z chaotic humour properly, so I'm not going to attempt. What I can do is the hurt/comfort aspect of this which I LOVE! So, let's do this. I hope you enjoy it. ((Oh and before I forget *hugs*))***

Summary: MC has always been a happy positive ray of light that brought joy with them wherever they went; at least that's what the brothers and the other exchange students would tell you. But when they suddenly start getting quiet and begin isolating themselves, everyone is concerned.

TW: descriptions of grief.

In the darkness of the Devildom, you were the sun.

Since arriving in the dark, cruel world of the demons, you had reminded them how to smile, how to laugh, how to love. With you around, it was like the brothers had another sibling again. For the other exchange students, you were a breath of fresh amongst all the horror and despair of the Devildom.

In short, everyone had come to love and be incredibly fond of the teenage human that; which is why they noticed instantly when you weren't acting like yourself.

For starters, you had skipped breakfast, which greatly concerned Beel. The friendly giant had to go up and bring you your food afterwards.

He gently knocked on your door with one hand as he held a plate with way too much food on it in the other. "MC? Are you awake? You missed breakfast."

There was a small curse from the other side before he heard some shuffling. The door cracked open to reveal you wrapped in a bundle of blankets. It wasn't until you looked up that Beel got a good look at your face and his stomach dropped.

Your eyes were tinged red with tear tracks stained onto your cheeks. Your bottom lip was still trembling from the effort of not breaking down into sobs. There was not a trace of the sunshine child that you usually were inside of your stormy sad eyes.

Beel's heart broke as you still attempted to give him a small smile and took the plate from him. "Th-Thanks Beel."

He kept a hand on the door to prevent you from closing it. "MC, are you alright? What happened?"

Your eyes widened a little and you quickly wiped at your cheeks. "I-I'm just not feeling that well. Can...Can you tell Lucifer I'm taking a sick day?"

Beel nodded as concern grew stronger and stronger inside of him. "Of course. Whatever you need."

You weren't actually sick, Beel could tell that much. What you were was heartbroken. Something had reached into your soul and shattered it into pieces. He to ask you what it was. He wanted to reassure you that everything would be okay. But instead, he let you close the door and hurried back to his brothers.

His brothers looked at him skeptically as he arrived, noting the lack of a tiny human alongside him. It was Belphie, however, who noticed the distressed look on Beelzebub's face. "Beel, is everything alright? You look upset."

Beel simply shook his head and looked over to Lucifer. "MC has asked me to tell you that they would like to take a sick day."

Everyone was instantly on their feet in worry.

"Sick? What kind of illness? I can get any medicine they might need and look up the quickest way for them to recover." Satan quickly stated as he began to move towards the kitchen.

Belphie nodded and picked up his pillow. "If they're sick, they'll need rest right? I'll go up there and help them sleep better."

Mammon moved to go with Belphie. "I'll come with ya. They'll feel better with if their favourite's there with them."

Belphie growled and shoved Mammon as Levi spoke up. "I-I mean, I doubt they'd want to spend the entire day with me, but at the very least I can provide them with some movies and games for entertainment. In fact, it might be easier if we just, um, m-move them to my room."

Mammon and Belphie were now snapping at Levi rather than each other.

Asmo scrunched up his nose in disgust and put up his hands. "Yeah, no thanks. I love MC, but I'll leave you guys to handle all the snot and vomit thank you very much. Tell them when they're healthy, I'll give them a spa day, just the two of us."

Lucifer sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Boys, Beel hadn't even told us what is wrong with them yet," everyone froze and turned to Beelzebub. Lucifer nodded and gestured for him to continue. "As you were saying, Beel."

Beel shifted uncomfortably at the attention. "Right. So, I don't think they're actually sick."

Lucifer rose an eyebrow at this as an air of defence grew around him. "You think they would lie?"

Beel huffed in annoyance and shook his head. "No. I don't think they would. But when they answered the door, they didn't look sick. They looked like they were grieving," everyone breathed in sharply at the statement, but Beel continued. "They honestly looked like they had been crying since midnight. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't get any sleep at all last night."

Lucifer frowned and finally made a move towards the door. "I, and I alone, will go speak with them. We don't want to overcrowd them. In the meantime, someone please contact Simeon just in case they truly are sick and Beel misinterpreted it," he ignored the several shouts of protest as he walked to your room.

He knocked softly on the door twice before carefully opening the door. "MC? Beelzebub informed me that you aren't feeling-"

Lucifer cut himself off as he saw you hugging your knees to your chest in bed, sobbing your heart out. He quickly made his way over and sat down beside you, gently placing a hand on your back. "MC, what's the matter? I've never seen you this upset before."

You didn't answer. You merely turned towards him and buried your face in his chest as you clung to his shirt. Lucifer quickly wrapped his arms around you and held you tight.

It was almost as if he could feel your sorrow within the sounds of your cries. The way they shuttered and cracked with every inhale and vibrated with pure agony on every exhale. You were trembling violently in his arms in a way that he hadn't felt since-

Since he held his brothers after Lilith's death.

Realization came to him as he glanced over and noticed the lightly crumped picture of you and another human on your side table. His breath caught in his throat and he held you tighter. "Oh MC," he whispered softly. "I am so sorry."

He held you there, letting your tears stain his shirt without a single care. He held you as your sobs softened into sniffles. He held you as your head lolled to the side and you finally gave in to sleep.

Lucifer had been about to fall asleep himself when he noticed the door open. Simeon, Luke and Solomon stood there with equal expressions of concern.

Luke took one look at your tear-stained face before a flicker of fury and angelic protectiveness flashed across his face. He opened his mouth to shout at Lucifer, but was stopped as a hand came over his mouth.

Solomon looked down at him sternly. "They're sleeping, Luke, and clearly in need of it. You don't want to wake them."

Luke huffed and slapped Solomon's hand away before going over to the bed and climbing in beside you and Lucifer.

Simeon pulled out a bag that clinked and clattered from the vials within it. "Satan had said that there was a possibility MC was ill?"

Lucifer sighed and continued to rub circles into your back while Luke gently dried your face with a handkerchief. "Unfortunately it seems the only illness they have is a broken heart." He nodded to the picture on the nightstand. "They appear to have lost someone. Today must be an anniversary of some sort that reminded them of it."

Both Solomon and Simeon's faces softened at the explanation. Simeon put the bag away. "I'm afraid I don't have anything that can help with that."

Solomon nodded. "It's a feeling I believe we are all familiar with," he stood in silent thought before snapping his fingers and grinning. "I know what will cheer them up! Some soup! It most certainly cheers me up whenever I'm upset. I'll go make them a pot right away," he smiled proudly as he left the room, missing the look of horror on everyone else's face.

"Oh my," Simeon began, "I better go supervise and make sure he doesn't accidentally poison them. Luke, do you wish to come?"

He shook his head and hugged you. "I'm not leaving them."

Simeon smiled fondly and glanced up to Lucifer who shrugged. "So long as he doesn't mind being the presence of a demon, I suppose he can stay."

Luke grumbled and continued looking at your hand as he held his up to it and compared sizes. "If they were able to fall asleep around you and you were able to comfort them...maybe you're not so bad."

Simeon raised an eyebrow in shock and laughed a little. "Well there you have it," he looked back to Lucifer. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything."

He nodded and watched the older angel leave.

@thegrimgrinningghost

Although the day was a rough one for you, there was not a second where you felt alone. There was always someone to hold you, to listen to you, and comfort you when you needed it most.

On days when sadness and despair threatened to cloud over the Devildom's only source of sunshine, the lords of the Devildom and your friends would be there to keep you warm until the sun could shine again.

***I hope you enjoyed this cute little comfort fic! Thanks again for the request @lovevictoire!***

TAGLIST

@henry-and-the-seven-lords

@satans-beloved-riv

@cosmixbun

@sufzku

[hotch-stufff]

Love is Complicated

gifs by hqtchner & ncis-season-

Pairing: Hotch x reader, Gibbs x reader

Warnings!: angst, pining, kissing, fluff

Request: "well i was thinking about a criminal minds x ncis crossover, where the reader has a big crush on gibbs but then she meets hotch and she is really confused 😿" @wolviesbabes

--------

Your hand scribbled yet another word on the endless stack of paperwork that littered your desk. It really did never end. You set your pen down. You needed a break. You looked up and your eyes instantly found him. He was hunched over his desk, probably doing the same thing you were doing.

But God, did he look good doing it. Although in your opinion he looked good doing just about everything.

You noticed that about him over the past couple months on the NCIS team. You had been transfered from another similar unit in New Orleans on the recommendation of Dwayne Pride himself. Gibbs was quick to accept you to the unit, but he remained cold to you for the first couple of weeks. It wasn't until you saved him from a, for lack of better words, crazy gunman did he warm up to you.

After that, you two had gotten extremely close. So close that you developed a small crush on the man. Although, you hid it rather well. No one, atleast not to your knowledge, knew about your crush. And you intended on keeping it that way, but it was so hard when he was just sitting right in front of you, looking all handsome and just... him.

You wanted to tell him. You really did. But he was way out of your league, and you weren't even his type. But a girl could dream.

Vance suddenly came out of his office and called Gibbs up. He stood slowly and walked away. You prayed this wasn't a case. You really did not feel like dealing with a case right now.

He came back out a few moments later, a scowl on his face.

"What is it Gibbs?" You asked, he jerked his head towards Vance's office.

"He wants the team to attend an interagency gala on Saturday night." You scoffed. Of course he did. "FBI, CIA, and NCIS teams are all expected to attend. Including us." His scowled deepened at the thought of having to deal with other agencies.

"Great, just great." And you were so looking forward to a quiet weekened.

* * *

The night of the gala had arrived much quicker than expected. And of course Abby had insisted on going shopping for dresses. She herself had gotten a long black dress, with a slit. She said she would add a few things to make it more like her, and you couldn't wait to see it. You had gone with a more subtle dress. A long emerald green dress, with spaghetti straps and an open back. The front dipped slightly.

You had brought it with you to the office so you could get ready with Abby and as you were heading to the elevator to go to her floor, you heard Gibbs on the phone. Now you weren't one to eavesdrop, but you really couldn't stop yourself.

"I know, I know, it won't take long. I promise. Bye." Was he with someone else? You stood there frozen as he emerged from the room he was in.

"Hey y/n. Whatchtya doin?" He asked suspiciously.

"Oh, um nothing Gibbs, thought I heard you and wanted to say bye before we left, I didnt think you would actually go to the gala tonight, so I thought I could just stop in and-" he cut you off.

"Slow down, you're rambling. You okay?" You needed to get out of there.

"Yup, just been a long day. Alright well bye." You rushed off to Abby office. Once you got there, she instantly asked what was wrong. You explained everything. Your feelings, the conversation you heard, just everything.

"Awe, y/n/n. I'm so sorry. He's stupid if he doesn't see whats right in front of him." That made you smile.

"We should get ready." You stated standing up to grab your dress.

2 hours later, you and Abby walked up stairs looking amazing if you did say so yourself. Wolf whistles were heard coming from Tony as you two walked towards the group. You rolled your eyes, catching Gibbs smirk.

His eyes dragged up and down your body, which had confused you greatly. He had never showed any interest in you before, why now? Maybe he had and was just better at hiding it.

"Well, we should get going." You nodded, you all walked out to the SUVs ready for the night ahead of you.

* * *

The gala was interesting to say the least. Each agency decided to stay away from eachother, like elementary students. Each group taking up their own circle around the room.

You had spotted a rather handsome man who you had recognized as Aaron Hotchner sitting at the FBI tables and couldn't seem to take your eyes off of him. You new you had feelings for Gibbs,, but something about this man just drew you in. You had previously met him on a conjoined case with your old team, and you had developed the smallest of crushes on the man. You never expected anything to happen, and he was only in New Orleans for about a week.

Suddenly Gibbs popped back into your head, and you huffed slightly, turning to search for him. Finding him at a table nearby, talking with a woman. You scoffed and he looked over at you.

In a moment of impulse, you tunred away and walked across the empty dance floor straight to Agent Hotchner. He looked up from his conversation as you neared his table.

"Hi, NCIS Agent Y/l/n. We worked together on the Williams case about a year back." He nodded in recognition.

"Of course. Its great to see you again agent y/l/n." He paused looking you up and down in a way you welcomed. "Can I help you with something." He asked, not unkindly at all, but rather friendly.

"I was wondering if you would like to dance." He raised an eyebrow at you. "Someone's got to break the chill in this room." He nodded and stood up slowly, his team staring on in awe. You figured he didn't do this very often.

"I would love to." He took your hand bringing you to the dance floor as another song began. You two danced for about 10 minutes before more couples began to join you. You smiled in triumph and Hotchner laughed at your face.

"What? It worked didn't it?" He smiled shaking his head.

"I suppose it did." You two began talking and laughing and just getting to know each other. You soon found yourself at a table as you continued with your conversation.

"Okay but, im just saying if Strauss is anything like Vance, they would be perfect together." He laughed at this rather loudly, catching the eyes of a few people near by.

"That would never happen. If Vance is anything like Strauss they would drive each other crazy." You giggled softly. Soon it was time to leave, and Agent Hotchner, or Aaron as he had asked you to call him, offered to walk you to your SUV where the rest of your team was waiting. They all eyed you as this strange man walked you over, handing you a card and pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. You had blushed profusely and walked over, getting in the car.

"So y/n, whos the hottie?" Abby began interrogating you as soon as you shut your door.

"Thats Agent Hotchner. He's the Unit Chief of the FBI's BAU." You smiled to yourself.

"Must be an ass if he's from the FBI." Gibbs remarked, another scowl gracing his face.

"He was actually quite the gentlman." Was your only response before turning to look out the window. Gibbs was the one being an ass. You had just spent the night with a wonderful man and Gibbs just had to ruin it by spouting some snarky comment that only confused you more. The rest of the ride was spent in silence.

* * *

Once back at the office, Gibbs had called you to the elevator, not giving you a chance to respond. You had of course listened, and as soon as the doors shut, he had pulled the emergency button.

"What is it Gibbs?" You asked softly. He just walked closer to you, cupping your face. "What are you doing?" He leaned in slowly bringing his lips to yours.

And you had expected it to be perfect and explosive and passionate. But... it wasn't. He pulled away after only a moment.

"Hang on, let me try that again." And he leaned in once more, pressing his lips to yours. But once again, there was nothing. He pulled away.

"That was ... strange?" He asked, more to himslef than anything.

"I uh, that-that was-"

"Not what I was expecting." He finished for you.

"You know Gibbs, I've been pining over you for months, and I'm guessing you felt the same. But I think we both met someone else tonight that changed our minds." You recalled him spending the whole night side by side with the woman you had seen earlier. You smiled shyly at him. "Call that woman you were with tonight. Tell her you want to go out on a date." He smiled looking into your eyes.

"Only if you call Agent Hochie, or whatever his name was, and tell him the same." You laughed at not only his comment, but the absurdity of the situation. For the past 5 months you had been yearning for a man who ended up not being what you wanted at all. It made you think that maybe what you really wanted, what you both really wanted, was someone to love. So you latched on to the person who had become closest to you.

"I love ya y/n." He whispered as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

"I love you too Gibbs. Now go get her." He stepped out of the elevator, pulling out his phone. You did the same, pulling out Aaron's card. It rang once. Twice.

"Hotchner." You giggled at his formal greeting. Taking a deep breath before going for it.

"Hey Aaron, I was just wondering if you were up for dinner?" He smiled.

"Of course. You know, I'm really glad you called."

"Me too." And you walked out of your office that night, a date with a man you had never expected, and a smile on your face.

-------

Not sure how I feel about this one, but I loved the request. Let me know what you guys think!! Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

[missinghan]

cold sun ⤖ han jisung

❖ genre : soulmate au; fluff; angst

❖ word count : 2,6k.

❖ warning : slight swearing

❖ summary : in a world where one will lose something if their soulmate doesn’t reciprocate their words of love once they turn sixteen, jisung is willing to take the risk so you won’t have to bear the burden.

❖ note : i just realized how i always tend to write for jisung when i'm down :')) anywho this piece is a little different than what i usually come up with but i hope y'all enjoy it ♡

It’s the first day of the week.

“Hey, Y/N. I like you!”

And Han Jisung is really annoying.

Those words come out so easily. It's casual in a way that makes you bury your red nose deeper into the soft fabric of your scarf, which makes your footsteps quicken unknowingly as his voice chases after you loudly. Either way, this isn’t the first time Jisung has said so. In fact, it’s become a habit for him to remind you every other day.

There’s no particular reason why. Or at least that’s what you think.

It’s the end of the week. Jisung decides to hang himself upside down on your bed while you’re stressing over a presentation. “Hey, Y/N.” A cold winter breeze comes rushing against the perplexing glass of your window, shaking the frame violently before all motions come to silence.

Until, “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N,” he creeps up from behind you and chirps into your ear.

“What?” you let out a groan of displease when tempting warmth embraces you whole, prompting you to drop your attention and looking over your shoulder.

Jisung pouts, “You didn’t answer me.”

“It’s because you’re annoying,” you sigh.

“Answer me when I call your name,” he pulls you in a fraction tighter, careful enough not to hurt you but firm to not let you slip away at the same time, and cradles your neck warmly, “So I’d know that you’re still here with me.”

“Alright, stupid.”

The all too familiar gummy smile returns instantly. “Hey, Y/N?”

And you can’t help but roll your eyes. “Yes, Jisung?”

“I like you,” he giggles into the hug, “I like you a lot.”

Han Jisung really is annoying.

He’s annoying because he talks too much. He’s annoying because of how he always asks for your notes after a gaming night with Felix just to nap in class. He’s annoying because he’d drop you in a heartbeat for a single slice of cheesecake from Jeongin’s mom’s bakery. He’s annoying because of how well he can get along with everyone.

Chatty, down-to-earth, easy-going with a lovable smile—attractive, very attractive.

It’s the week after that. “What...happened?”

“He lost his voice,” Jeongin sighs, looking like he genuinely wants to facepalm himself against concrete while walking with an incoherent Jisung to school; expressive hands with his mouth agape and all.

You tilt your head, “...for real?”

“For real.”

After a few seconds of eyeing Jisung struggling with converting what’s in his head, you exhale deeply and quickly rummage through your backpack, “Just stop, you look ridiculous.” And he does just that, zipping his mouth metaphorically and giving you those typical puppy eyes. “Here, use this.”

His eyes light up like stars when you rip off a page from one of your notebooks and offer it to him along with a pen. Truth is, you’re expecting something as predictable as ‘I like you’ or ‘It’s alright it’s just the worst cold I’ve ever caught’. But then, what’s displayed on the piece of paper right now only baffles you.

Park is going to murder you if he sees some uglyass tear in your Ochem notes :)

A forced grin splits your lips open. “Not if I murdered you first and then the entire school and then myself.”

The first genuine smile blossoms on his lips when you give him a mini-sized notepad and pencil the day after—his sixteenth birthday.

And Jisung decides this is it.

It happens when the sun hasn’t even come out yet and the irritating blue light from his phone reads 5:32 AM.

It happens when he sees your reclined figure leaning back against his mattress, his pupils tracing your delicate features. Perplexed emotions fill his eyes to the brim, fulfillment bursting within his chest when you stare right back at him with such purity. So pure that it seems you can do no harm to him and neither can he.

“Hey stupid,” you murmur quietly, shoving a notepad and pencil against his chest, “Happy birthday.”

Jisung gives you a bright smile, opens his mouth, and snaps it close mere moments later. Sixteenth birthday. Early in the morning. Tired grins. The fondness of being so disgustingly in love.

He can’t help but lean in and caves into the taste his soul has longed for as long as he can remember.

Two weeks have passed since Jisung has lost his voice.

Nothing has differed if you’re being completely honest. Han Jisung is still annoying. His lack of ability to speak doesn’t appear to be a problem to him at all. He loves chatting with people even though he’s more of a listener now. But with the small notepad you gave him a few days ago, being socially active is the norm for him even now.

Thanks to his rather short-period experiences of observing people’s expressions and how their features contort in certain ways when they’re feeling certain emotions, Jisung catches onto your mood more quickly during bad days to help you release your inner turmoil by scribbling down something stupid on the notepad. It’s kinda nice like this, you’d think to yourself sometimes.

Other times, you’re more scared that you might have forgotten what his voice sounds like.

“No wonder you got a fucking cold. Stop taking midnight showers already.”

You wave Jisung over when he closes the wooden door to your bedroom, droplets dripping from his hair as he scratches his stomach tiredly. His hair is a mess when he lazily crawls onto your bed, the cushion beside you dips slightly.

His index finger pointing at his post-shower head and a shit-eating grin are all you need to snatch the white towel around his neck.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” you mumble while rubbing the cotton fabric into his hair, “But you’re awfully upbeat for someone who’s lost their voice. Can’t you at least pretend to be sad about it?”

A noise of protest escapes his throat like second nature as your eyes carefully read the quick movements of his mouth. “And can you not be so mean to someone who’s lost their voice?”

A faint smirk creeps its way up to your lips. “Still like me now?”

Jisung thinks hard for a few moments before jumping out of bed to snatch his notepad from your studying area. Of course, I like you. I like you a lot. Your heartbeat momentarily spikes at his scrawny handwriting. Just when your gaze is averted away to cool the blush on your cheeks, he tugs at your sleeve again and points at a different mess of scribbles. You’re more gentle when I’m like this. And you’d always find me if I ever got into trouble. What’s there for me to be sad about?

“Annoying little shit,” you swallow your pride and let him settle his head against your chest.

His presence melts into yours during the hardest hours of the twenty-four, heartbeats on heartbeats and warmth on warmth. Your one regret is that you’re unable to register his tears that night, only the incoherent, breathless hiccups almost as to desperately call out your name.

It’s been a month since Jisung’s lost his voice. And the night when he kisses you for the second time, his notepad is long forgotten next to your pillow.

I-can’t-talk. Give-me-a-break.

Jeongin. Cheesecake. Please? Pretty please?

I’ll fucking kick you.

Wait, there’s homework?!

...so you’re telling me LMAO isn’t how French people laugh?

“This is what you’ve been doing during breaks huh…” you mumble under your breath while lazily flipping through the papers. The occasional ‘I like you’-s do pop up every two pages or so, which is more than enough to make you smile like an idiot. But that is until a peculiar paragraph yanks your attention by its neck and tosses it against a brick wall.

Mom, promise me you’re not going to cry.

He made auntie cry?!

I lost my voice for real now but it wasn’t supposed to be like that at first. I just wanted to mess with Y/N and freak her out for a day.

I’m seriously going to punch him.

She was a lot softer toward me after that, you know. I know it’s extremely selfish of me but I just can’t help being so happy. I’m sorry, mom. I really am.

Han Jisung you fucking idiot.

I was going to surprise her on my birthday by saying ‘good morning’ out loud but nothing came out. My voice was gone.

Guilt, anger, remorse take over you. You knew nothing of this. You never once questioned for a logical reason behind the loss of his voice and kept moving onward as if it’s not that big of a deal. You didn’t suspect it as a kind of prank, either. But you still care, all this time! You have been doing everything in your power as a way for both you and Jisung to treasure himself even if he can’t speak anymore.

I went to a check-up last week. Nothing came up. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.

However, without fail, the obnoxious part of you will keep wandering back to the concept of soulmates that has been engraved so deeply into the society you’re living in. It makes no sense to you that Jisung lost his voice for no reason right before his sixteenth birthday. This explains it all now.

It’s going to be okay, mom. Because I have Y/N. I know she would come running toward my side over and over again even if she can’t hear me anymore. I really don’t know what I’d do without her in my life.

Jisung knew the penalty for being the first to exchange any words of love yet he still did it. And you were too busy overlooking that stupid pride of yours to say those three words back.

It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to forget what I used to sound like. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.

Jisung fixes the strap of his backpack, looking up at his mom after slipping into his sneakers. She ruffles his bed head and hands him a small white box with Jeongin’s bakery’s signature logo on it.

He tilts his head in faint confusion, peering at the box of pastry in his arms.

“Give it to Y/N on the bus, okay? Her parents aren’t home right now. You know how she would always skip breakfast when they’re out of town.”

His eyes light up instantly in realization and Jisung nods, preparing to bid her farewell. Just then, his front door comes flying open. It can’t be a mere acquaintance because there are very few people other than his parents and himself who know of the spare key hidden under the welcome mat.

As Jisung turns around, he’s keenly aware of your teary eyes already trained on him. Which in hindsight, makes no sense. As a result, panic rises within the hollowness of his chest, his lips falling agape but no coherent words come out.

“Y/N, sweetheart,” his mom flinches, slightly caught off guard, “Is everything okay?”

A scowl stretches over your contorted features as you shut the door loudly. “What the hell is this?” you question, shoving the familiar notepad into his chest. “A prank? A prank?! Do you think that this is funny?”

Jisung’s frantic eyes move to read the paper and every single color on his face drains tremendously. He easily recognizes the peculiar paragraph by how much lighter the ink is compared to the rest of the messy lines because his pen was running low and his hand couldn’t stop shaking.

Your voice.

His eyes avert back to look at you. His brows furrow timidly and shaky breaths burst from his lips almost like a desperate cry for help. There’s too much he wants to say, too many things to explain, and too many questions running through his head that he can’t process what to do next. He might just overwhelm both you and himself.

I need to hear it again.

And you might not stay by his side this time.

“Okay, don’t answer me then, I guess,” you chuckle lowly, dipping your head and turning around.

Jisung grabs at your sleeve instinctively and drops the pastry box, his gaze empty and all too knowing. Sorrow glazes over his starry eyes when it starts becoming hard to breathe properly. The outlines of his lips are moving non-stop yet nothing comes following after that.

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” you rasp out and tug at his hand. Then it hits you. He’s like this because of you. Jisung lost his voice because of you.

His mom cuts into the conversation, “Y/N, you don’t understand!”

“I’m sorry, auntie,” you smile sadly and take off running into the streets.

You, in the midst of your self-loathing and guilt, allow your feet to go wherever they want as your vision spirals into a blur. A single droplet threatens to fall when a forceful hand yanks you back to reality.

It takes Jisung a moment to regain his regular breathing pace. And when he finally gets it, all he can do is call out to you with the same inaudible sounds and the same desperation in his eyes. It seems as though he’s fully aware that the prank was the stupidest, most irrational thing he’s ever done. But there’s more to the ocean within his eyes than just remorse.

“I already told you,” you clench your jaw and slap his hand away, “I don’t fucking know what you’re saying!”

A deep sigh. “Why am I mad? Of course, I’d be mad! It’s because of me that you lost your voice! It’s because I like you, too! Yet I never said it back… You lost your voice because of me! Don't you get it? Why can't you just hate me for the sake of it?!”

You miss his voice. You miss it a lot.

You want to hear it again. You want to hear him call you by your name. You want to stay up late and talk about anything to the ends of the Earth and back with him. You want him to be the obnoxious, chatty Han Jisung you've always known.

You miss how annoyingly loud he is.

“Y-Y...Y/N…!”

Jisung collapses onto his knees, a hand on concrete while the other is on his neck. His chest rises and falls unevenly, muffled noises of discomfort echoing deep down from his throat. Despite that, what you heard just now, is his voice.

“Answer me when I call your name. So I’d know that you’re still here with me.”

“I promised you, didn’t I,” you spread your arms and smile warmly, “That I’d always answer when you call my name. As long as I can still hear you, I will come running toward you over and over again. Doesn’t matter what it takes, doesn’t matter where you are.”

Jisung lifts his head and tears come rolling down on his cheeks. His throat feels swollen when he stutters with difficulties, trying to convey what’s in his head, “Y-Y/N, don’t- don’t go! Please don’t leave me...!”

“Come here,” you close your eyes with the widest grin on your lips, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Only when Jisung grows closer and throws his arms around you, sobbing into your uniform do you convince yourself that all of this isn’t a hallucination. The hug is a lot stronger than what you’d expect. First of all, you nearly fell over from the impact and your arms are pinned so tightly to your sides that you feel like your ribs are going to snap.

Everything is so overwhelming that all you can say is, “Ow.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles into your hair and loosens his arms a bit so you can loop your hands to the nape of his neck and hair.

“You’re so annoying, Han Jisung.”

He purses his lips, sniffling, “You tried to make me snap on purpose. Meanie.”

You quirk a playful brow, “Still like me now?”

“Yeah,” Jisung smiles, “A lot.”

Because he knows that he has you. Until every last star in the galaxy explodes as a supernova, Jisung has you.