#i'm supposed to be studying for my exam on friday what am i doing

[hidefdoritos]

I've been put on a steroid to help me beat this infection and boy howdy I hate it.

mental breakdown, food mention, SA mention, dysphoria, giant text wall, and a lot of relationship rambling under the cut. feel free to scroll. I am safe.

it feels like my brain has been lifted out and placed in a hot air balloon that is also a carousel. the balloon is piloting my body around. my body is extra sweaty and also jittery and little nauseous. the carousel of my brain is so anxious and cannot focus and is going Nine Million Miles Per Hour spiraling So Hard. i have 4 quizzes and an exam to do. i can't find an empty classroom without A Couple hanging out to "study" (in adjacent chairs, all but sitting in each other's laps) so I'm doing the exams from one of the music practice rooms and I can hear two pianists playing in different keys and it's driving me crazy and also I'm typing so much faster than I usually do and speaking fast too I think. i can't go back to my room because if my roommate is there and asks me what's wrong with me I'm gonna just cry because I'm spiraling SO HARD right now especially about how I'm single and my roommate is just gonna feel awkward and bad because she has a boyfriend and her entire identity is wrapped around him and she knows I envy that. oh gosh someone is playing a sad song and i'm actually going to cry about it. can't tell my other friend because she got broken up with Brutally over the summer and I don't want to make her sad. can't tell the other friend because she just got engaged. can't talk to the other friend because she asked a boy out for coffee and is texting the play by play about that. it's the same boy I wanted to ask out for coffee but i can't ruin her fun by saying so. i don't want to talk to a single person about it because I don't want to make them sad too but I don't want to talk to a dating/married person about it because they can't relate. don't want to talk to my ace friend because he can't relate. can't tell the other friend because that would require reaching for my phone and if I get on my phone I'll never get the schoolwork done. my screentime is over 8 hours today and I'm still not done. i have the world's most unmotivated group for my group project and I'm supposed to be leading and I've been sick for a month and the interview just fell through and nobody has stepped up to help. I'm so far behind I need to either get better or drop out. the costumes crew is waiting on me. i have paperwork due. everybody is better than me at everything. i scheduled work during the Thursday dress rehearsal. i'm in no way ready for the Friday concert. my stomach hurts from the antibiotic. i want to burst into tears but I'm so congested that I think a gallon of fluid would come straight out of my head and I've been trying so hard to hydrate. my laptop is in my lap and every time I look down I can see my chest which I usually don't feel dysphoric about but I guess that (and also sense-memories) decided to crawl out of the woodwork just for the heck of it because why not kick Moss while she's down I guess. my thrifted boots aren't actually leather and they're peeling. i'm wearing my split skirt and it looks incredible. i did such a bad job of painting my nails. why is there a mirror in this practice room. ironically the bottom of it cuts off between m neck and my shoulders, which is where I feel disconnected right now. my foot is going to sleep. i feel manic and depressive at the same time. my laptop is hot. i've been writing this post for 12 minutes and i think it helped. even if stuff isn't done it's helping to put all the thoughts out there. like venting a rice cooker. oh gosh I should be asleep already. i need to shower and go to bed. i already got a one day extension for this midterm i just need to go do it. i need to shower still. nooooo I have to deal with my naked body. i'm crying. why is this sending me over the edge? i'm gonna have to sit down in the shower tonight. oh no. on the one hand right now i have all the feelings of This Is Getting Bad Again that usually precede a serious low point in my life. however to be fair this is the first time i'm letting myself process any of the emotions from the last month of being sick. i just kept carrying on and collapsing over and over. ah, poor kid. i've been trying so hard.

[disizletzi]

So I missed a few days, but it was because I had to go take some exams (I still have a good chunk of them next week). It's been an eventful few days, and I was going to talk about the exams and stuff but. BUT

I got gifted the game "Control" for Christmas and started it today and... like, how can I get into a game if I can't get passed the first boss? What's happening? I don't like this lol. They didn't even ask me what difficulty I wanted when I started the game so I suppose I can't change it, but I just quit after getting obliterated for the 10th time in 3 strikes, because I just hate that. I want to explore and fight, yes, but the difficulty has to be balanced! I cannot focus on a boss if there are minions around hitting from god knows where because there's nothing showing them to me on screen and they're all dressed dark in a dark environment! No!

Anyways, I'm a bit angry lol. Just a tad.

In other news I like, touched a zit on my face that I thought I could pop but it didn't and then it got infected I think, and half of my face started swelling and I looked like a hamster on one side for a few days. It got better though, I'm applying antibiotic cream on it. Should disappear in a few days.

Also I am way less stressed about the exams than I was a few days ago because I had to take some on friday (but it's a bit far so I took a hotel and drove there on tuesday). Monday is a pretty easy day since the only exam I'm taking is the translation one so there's no need for studying on this one. Then I'll have a few annoying one (like British history, sorry Britain, but this one was on all your prime ministers from the 1800s to I think John Major? Or which one was the one after Blair? I forget. See, I'm very prepared) and a few phonetics and phonology exams. But Friday went okay, so I think I'll be good.

I might not write next week because of that though. Not that anybody is looking forward to those little diary entries lol, but yeah.

Thanks for reading me if you are! Don't hesitate to comment on stuff if you feel like it. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing here, other than trying to feel better about talking about myself.

[scorpion-flower]

So, I have covid once again (which I got from my stupid parents) despite being x5 vaccinated (last dose was on 8/11). Fortunately, I don't have a high fever, but my nose is stuffed, I have a sore throat and headache.

And from the moment that test came back positive, my bitch ass mother, hasn't stopped verbally and mentally abusing me. I mean, she does this everyday anyway. From the moment she wakes up, 'til the moment she sleeps, I hear her diminishing and cursing at me. But it's much harder to handle this now that I am sick.

And honestly, if you hate me this much lady, why are you ALWAYS near me or interfering with my life? I can't stay alone in my room, because she comes inside and doesn't leave unless she want to. I've tried pushing her out too, but she is heavy and pushing her doesn't do much.

I can't go out without her bombarding my phone because she wants to check on me. She pretends that she does this for my safety, but my safety has always been threatened the most, when I am with her, my father and my brother. Not when I am outside.

Last Friday, I was in a concert, and for half an hour straight, she wouldn't stop calling me. Thankfully, my phone was already on silent mode.

Last month, I was at a stand up show, and she kept on calling me there too. When the stand up was over, I picked up the phone and told her that I'm outside and that I'm fine. And what did she do? 20 minutes later, when I went inside a McDonalds to charge my almost dying phone, she bombarded me again! I replied to one of her calls and told her that I'm fine, but what did the bitch do? She threw a tantrum because she couldn't handle the fact that her 29yo daughter, wasn't home, as if I owe her that. I ended the call because she was acting irrational and then, she called my boyfriend another 10 times, until he gave in to the pressure and picked his phone up. And to him, she pretended to be very sad and that she hadn't heard from me for hours. He wasn't with me during that outing, so he didn't know that she was lying (although I've told him not to pick up his phone when she calls him) so he messaged a friend of mine, with whom I was on the phone at that time, and she let him know that everything's alright.

That bitch is so hooked up on me, she can't manage me being out of home for 2 hours, but then has the nerve (both her and my asshole father) to call me useless because I have yet to move out. Don't flatter yourself idiots, I haven't moved out because rent's too high, not because I like you. But I'm not financially depended on you, because guess what, I work. I pay for my doctor's appointments, life security, and other stuff, such as consert tickets, myself.

Guess who doesn't work tho? Their narcissistic son, who has everything paid for him, down to his pizza takeaway, from them. But that's not a problem I suppose, since he has testicles and not a uterus, right? Because I don't remember my parents having a problem when they had to pay for him to study abroad because he was too stupid to get into a greek university (he failed his entrance exams twice, but they never held that over his head) or rent him an appartment, or pay for his travels etc.

I can't with those people anymore, I wish they could disappear.

[theintrovertwithadhd]

Sunday

ugh I am so sick of being sick. I was feeling slightly off and under the weather this week so I was somewhat taking it easy, but after the third day of not feeling 100% I knew something wasn't right...

Friday night I visit my parents and do a good ol' covid test and what do you know.. there are the 2 lines. positive.

I am such an on-the-go person especially during the weekends where I have my routine of going to my favourite gym location, then hitting up Winners and Indigo then likely Farm Boy.

It pains me to be stuck at home, especially when I'm in the part of my cycle where I'm suppose to have the energy to do these things I like.

So I am listening to my body and taking it easy at home. I'll alternate between studying for my FItness Instructor exam and napping. I find though, when I am stuck at home I do tend to get caught up in my head and over think somethings - a lot of things. Such as I'm messaging with this guy from Hinge and even though it is literal first days of us just talking it seems like we have SO MUCH in common and I haven't felt this giddy about a guy (looks and things in common) for a very long time. So being stuck at home with (consciously because I'm sick) little going on right now - it's so easy to over think and obsess about this situation and fantasize about life with this guy. Because think about it, if I was doing my regular weekend routine, I'd be out and about and far more stimulated doing other things, rather than being stuck home all weekend texting this guy I am totally mentally blowing up in my head.

Anyway it should be interesting. I know I haven't even met him so clearly this is all just in my head, but I will say I'm excited to meet him.

[zairabercasio11]

My weekly Duties

It's Monday , And Time check 4:25 am and yes I woke up early in the morning because it's our Midterm Exam and I need to review, this is what I always do, waking up early everytime we take an exam , because My Mom said it's good to study early in the morning because our brain works, especially when I woke up early in the morning, and it's effective because the things I read quickly enter My brain HAHAHA .Then I got ready to go in, and at 7:45 I got to school because it took me so long to ride . I went it quickly and thank God I'm not late because it hasn't started yet.After 1 Subject Ma'am Sandra came and said that it is necessary to have a permit before taking the exam, so we left the room, and I have a problem because the money in My Gcash is for My Dad for his Birthday I want to surprise Him ,but ni choice I had to take it to have that permit .And that's when I got My money and go back to school but Ma'am Ajoy supposed to go to her class and I couldn't disturb her so we waited her untill she go back , and after 1 hour she came back that's why I paid and greeted the permit and after we went to classroom to take the exam .

The next Day, Tuesday We practice all day for the upcoming Intrams,

Third Day Wednesday same routine waking up early in the morning and it's My father's Birthday, I wake up early because I want to surprise Him , I brought Him cake and I cooked Banana Peel Patty , and I'm so glad to see his beautiful and lovely Smile 😊 after that My classmate chat that they want to taste Banana Peel Patty so I brought them and Sir Fherdz was right there so I gave it to Him, and He enjoyed the food.12:45 we go back to school and and feel glad because the Aircon was on, and thanks to Ma'am Sandra .

Friday, I do general cleaning at home , and I always get annoyed with my Youngest Sister because she doesn't know how to clean but always spreading the mess . Then when she left I played music and started to clean . When it was night I prepared dinner and we ate.

Saturday, We watched Basketball and the players are Varsity of SPJ , We support them , they so good playing basketball, that's why we are so proud of them . When it was 5:00 the game was over and we wend home, Chin and Mich had sleep over at Home.

Sunday, we practice again started at 10:00 in the morning untill 2:00 in the afternoon, and it was a tiring week.

0 notes

[umichenginabroad]

Dublin Week 16: Classes Going Crazy

Hi there, it's me, Sam, again. I can't think of a good intro, so I'm just gonna get into it.

I started this week in something of a panic because while I was in Copenhagen, I neglected to do a number of things I should've been doing for the week ahead. He is the complete list of things I should have been doing:

Studying for an applied dynamics quiz on Tuesday

Finishing up research and making a poster due on Wednesday

Studying for a lab exam for statistics on Wednesday

When I got back on Monday night from Copenhagen, I frantically studied for my quiz the next morning, and apparently this was good enough to do reasonably well. Yay me! Then I had to get to doing my research!

This past semester I've been taking a class that gave me the opportunity to conduct research. I'd been working with a PhD student who's studying titanium alloys, and until this point I had worked in the lab a bit and taken some measurements, but we hadn't actually decided what I was going to write my final report and presentation on. After my quiz on Tuesday, we met up, decided what my topic was going to be, and then I the rest of my waking hours finishing my poster. At around 1am, I was done, and frankly I'm pretty proud of my work. Moral of the story: be proactive and figure out what you're researching sooner rather than later. Posters can be made in a day though (not recommended).

Me and my poster

Wednesday was considerably more chill. I went to my classes and spent my free time preparing for my lab exam. Later that evening I took the exam, and I think it went alright. I should've prepared a bit more, but at the end of the day it was a very small part of my grade, and I'm not too worried. Now that I was done with my work, I got some well deserved rest.

On Thursday, my research class had a big poster presentation in the lobby of the engineering building. I got to show my research to interested passersby, and it felt really great being able to share my experience with them. Afterwards, I didn't have any classes for the day, so I just hung around, made some food, and then went to climbing later that evening.

Friday I once again didn't have any classes, so I spent the day cleaning my apartment, relaxing, and getting ready for the Mountaineering Ball. Most clubs and societies at UCD host a ball at the end of the semester where the club rents a ballroom at a hotel and everyone dresses up nicely and dances and drinks and whatnot. You know, typical ball activities.

Around 5, I met up with some other club members on campus and we made our way to a club members house for some pre-drinks (referred to as prinks here). After spending some time there, everyone made their way to the hotel ballroom the club booked.

At the ball we were served some (surprisingly good) dinner, handed out awards, took photos, and danced. It was a great time. After the ball, a bunch of us headed into town to a pub called Doyle's. It was super crowded and loud, but we all had fun, and I ended up leaving around 3 am (yikes).

Some photos from the ball

The next morning, I wasn't up until about noon. After this slow start, I met up with my friends Colin and Cormac in town, where we grabbed some lunch and tried to walk off our hangovers, which actually kind of worked a little. When we got bored of this and hungry for dinner, we headed back to UCD. Once we refueled and bored ourselves once again in our respective apartments, we decided to meet up again and head down to Dun Laoghaire to enjoy the lovely evening and watch the sunset, which was a lovely way to end the day.

A picture from the water of the pier at Dun Laoghaire

On Sunday, the mountaineering club had its final Sunday hike of the term. We were supposed to hike Lugnaquilla, which is the highest peak in the Wicklow mountains, but our bus forgot to pick us up, and we ended up getting to the trail about an hour late. Instead we did a much shorter hike, which actually ended up being a great time since the weather was awesome and we were actually able to enjoy it. We ended our hike at a cute little pub where I got my cheapest pint of Guinness of the semester (it was still €4.80). Overall, it was a lovely way to end the Sunday hikes.

Some photos from the hike

That's all for this week! This was the last week of classes, so the next three weeks, I'll just be studying and taking my exams. I'm gonna try to do some exploring of Dublin during this time, so stay tuned for that.

Sam Adler

Materials Science and Engineering

University College Dublin

[mitchell-nihil]

Tomorrow I have the second half of a physics summative and my schools doing a final assembly, and I need to make cookies for my English presentation, Thursday I have a math exam and said English presentation, Friday-Sunday I have to study for my physics final on Monday. After Monday I am home free, besides commencement I guess. But it's a looootttt and I'm a grade 12 and they keep coming up wiht more and more little events we're supposed to show up to. I also really want to make macarons for the librarian because I volunteered with her a bunch this semester and she's gluten free so I think she'd appreciate it, and me and my friends need to figure out what the camping situation is because we HAD signed up for a campsite friday night to saturday morning but it's like 40 C and thunderstorming so that's probably a no-go, and I want to get the little friendship bracelets I was making for my friends done and I want to give proper goodbyes to the couple of aquaintances I made this year that I likely won't stay in touch with.

i have such a fun little comic strip idea of Kase and Varen but I have SO much school work to do right now it's terrible

[highgaarden]

Lizzie/Landon - "I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so." (pls let them break a bunch of other stuff while actually having sex)

two-shot! read and comment on ao3, please!

where you cast those stones you wear;

rating: explicit chapters: 1/2 characters: lizzie/landon; background klaus/caroline, background hope/landon, background josie/penelope; the whole SS gang.

where you cast those stones you wear

part i

----

“There you are.”

Lizzie’s smile is the fakest ass fake smile he’s ever seen, and he’s seen a lot of them.

It’s how she smiles when Wade asks her for donations to his Anime club. Or when Dr Saltzman caught all of them at the Old Mill trying to make moonshine (Kaleb’s idea). Her smiles are especially at their fakest when she wants to pull Hope away from him for some magical assistance to whatever trouble she’s managed to get herself—

—and Josie, and Alaric, Raf, MG, (himself, though she’ll never count him) and probably half the school along as well—

—that week. “Just the person I wanted to randomly bump into in study hall.”

“Really,” he deadpans, not believing her one bit.

He shifts his book just a little closer to his chest. He’s not nervous, but her energy is full of it sometimes, and sometimes it’s just energy personified that bounces off the calm he tries to fill his study hall with.

You know, where they’re supposed to study – in silence, preferably – but with Lizzie, there’s never much of silence.

It’s with a bit of a niggling discomfort that Landon realises he’s learned her tells: Lizzie can talk up a storm, always, but it’s in tense moments that she can’t seem to shut up. Not that he’d ever tell her to shut up; he doesn’t know why he always just wants to be nice to her, despite her printing out posters of VOTE ARTISANAL JAR OF MAYONNAISE FOR HOMECOMING KING last semester and sticking them all over school.

 —

 “Well?” Lizzie prompts, clicking her tongue.

Landon’s just sitting there, and for all his humble bragging about being at the top of their classes he’s just… sitting there, with a look that tells her he’s not quite registering what she’s just said to him.

“I’m—I’m sorry?” he finally says.

Lizzie sighs loudly enough for the entire study hall to send glares their way. Landon attempts to tamp down on their aggression, but all Lizzie does is just sigh louder.

Sorry, Landon mouths apologetically again, raising his hand at Wade, who looks close to crying over exam revision.

“Landon,” Lizzie says with finality.

“Lizzie,” Landon matches her tone. “I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to repeat yourself.”

Murder is the only word that comes to mind with the glare she sends his way. But she decides to humour him.

“Wow, that’s so weird. I feel like I’m just mishearing you. Again, please—hey, I said please.”

Lizzie’s mouth moves around the words she’s telling him.

Landon continues to stare at her blankly. “Sorry, there’s just this weird ringing in my ears. It sounds like you just asked me to be your boyfriend?”

 —

 Elizabeth Jenna Saltzman.

Asking him, resident emo-boy, a marginally competent bird as she always ‘fondly’ calls him, to be her esteemed partner.

“Am I hearing this right?”

Lizzie hisses right through her teeth, “Do not insult me, you moderately competent bird.”

See?

He lifts his book as if to deflect the blow of her mighty glare. “Look, I’m not! I’m just – are you feeling alright? Been getting enough sleep?”

“Two weeks have passed since my mom’s come back, and I have thoroughly exhausted every single mother-daughter bonding activity ever, and she’s moved on from Oh Lizzie, my favourite daughter, I’ve missed you so much snuggling to Who is this Sebastian your father keeps mentioning lectures.” Lizzie adds flippantly: “I’m not vibing with it.”

“Sebastian?”

“Super sexy perma-teen vampire but a complete misjudgement of character on my end.”

“And this isn’t?” Landon mumbles.

“I need to get my mother off my back, keep up.” Lizzie inches forward in her seat. The ends of her hair graze the table with how much she’s leaning towards him, making him look her in her wide, blue eyes. Always with the theatrics. “You’re just about at the exact opposite end of the Sebastian spectrum. Mopey, dependable, not obviously good looking, but your other qualities probably can make up for that. And you’re the kind of guy would probably wake up super early to get me a coffee and croissant before school, because that’s just how cheesy you are.”

“Thanks?”

“Don’t interrupt me. Anyway, it’s not just for my benefit either.”

“Somehow I find that hard to believe.”

Lizzie’s smile widens just a touch. “Heard your little crush on Hope just went up in flames.”

So is his face now, all puffed out and embarrassed. He lowers his voice and hisses, “How do you know about that?”

“Oh Landon. My sweet thrift store hobbit,” Lizzie sighs. “Everyone knows about it. You wear it like a badge of constant glumness. You didn’t speak to Jed for a whole week after he bought her a sandwich last week.”

“I could’ve bought her a sandwich too, big deal,” Landon mutters.

Lizzie raises a sharp finger and looks smug. “Ah, but you didn’t! See, my boy, you’ve got no game. Now imagine how much cooler your image would be if you were seen with resident popular girl,” she gestures to herself. “Your reputation would shoot up the ranks.”

“There are ranks?”

“Duh,” Lizzie says like it’s the most obvious thing. “And you, being a phoenix without actually possessing any unique phoenix qualities other than resurrecting – ”

“That’s not unique enough?”

“—looking like a pale artichoke in gym class doesn’t help, either. I am your salvation!” Lizzie finishes, hands on her hips and jaw raised like she’s standing centre-stage at their annual talent competition.

Landon narrows his eyes. “You think people will like me more if it looks like I’m dating you?”

“Now we’re getting somewhere. Move a little.” She takes a seat next to him gracefully, tucking her skirt under her thighs. “Listen. I need my mom to stop breathing down my neck. She’s been looking at me like she wants to give me the birds and the bees talk, with visual aid, flash cards and mini-theatre and I’d rather not go through that again. Once was more than enough. Pretty sure Dad wants her to exact power over my social life, since he doesn’t really have any say in that, and I’m looking at two semesters of constant surveillance. Or a twelve-step programme. And Professor M isn’t helping either—”

Landon shuts his book. “How does Professor M know about your love life?”

“Everyone knows about my love life, Landon. I’m interesting.” She rests an unwilling hand on his shoulder with a grimace. “And soon you will be too.”

“Because I’ll be dating you.”

“Fake dating,” Lizzie corrects primly.

“And you think Hope will like me, even though I’ll be unavailable?”

“There’s something to be said about wanting the unattainable, Landon. And trust me, you will be unattainable once you’re standing by my side.”

“Yeah, because everyone will think I’m nuts.”

“I resent that. Say yes.”

“Lizzie, I—” a panicked, helpless sort of look crosses Landon’s face. “This is really dishonest; I don’t think we should be…”

“Let me do the thinking for both of us, alright Little Bird?” Lizzie snips. “Getting back in my parents’ good books, the teachers off my backs for any sort of inevitable breakdown, and you… get to be Professor M’s potential son-in-law one day.”

“This is extremely coercive, you know,” Landon points out, but the protest is feeble at best. “And making me really uncomfortable. Nobody will buy it.”

“We’ll just have to put on a really good show,” she swears. “Say yes.”

 —

 Two things happen the next two days:

Landon attempts to say hi to Hope, who looks right through him to greet MG a good morning.

During lunch break, by some kind of miracle, he joins Hope and Lizzie for lunch just in time to hear Hope say, “You were right about the bio homework, by the way. Your ideas aren’t that bad, Saltzman.”

Lizzie cocks an eyebrow at Landon. “Welcome, Kirby.”

“Oh, hey Landon,” Hope greets warmly.

Landon takes all of thirty seconds to make up his mind.

Lizzie’s phone vibrates in her bag. When she checks it, it’s from Landon.

Just one word.

Yes.

 —

 Every Friday evening, the rag tag group of upper-secondary students meet for some dumb study group Emma had made them all participate in, in an effort to like, ‘bond’ as ‘one’ ‘community’ or something.

It’s astonishing that all of them consistently make it every single week, but no one will admit it’s because they appreciate each other’s company. They’d chalked it up to Stockholm Syndrome.

Rafael comes when he feels like it, but he’s usually stuck in detention helping Dorian jar newton eyes or something, but even he tries to be on his best behaviour so he doesn’t miss much of these.

It’s during one of these study groups that MG, having been not-so-discreetly been spying on Lizzie and Landon whilst they all parroted off chemical equations to each other, demands: “Why are you touching him?”

He’s probably been watching them really closely since the Bomb had Dropped.

Lizzie makes sure to have Josie walk into them in the courtyard one day with her hand placed very carefully on Landon’s thigh, and shocks her twin so much she goes running through the hallways until she bumps into Penelope, and blurts out the scene she just witnessed, swearing her to secrecy.

Penelope, of course, tells everyone else.

Lizzie pretends to fidget with the hem of her shirt. “Excuse you?”

MG narrows his eyes. “You just… keep putting your hand on Landon’s arm. Willingly. Why.”

“Haven’t you heard?” Penelope smirks, whilst Josie turns red and avoids Lizzie’s glare, “they’re the Salvatore School’s It Couple right now.”

“Fake news,” Jed coughs into his notes, and Kaleb guffaws.

Hope doesn’t do anything but watch the entire exchange with curious eyes.

“Look, Penelope, you don’t have to believe it,” Landon begins, but he’s making mopey eyes at Hope, so Lizzie decides to cut in.

“As devastated as I am to admit it, Frodo’s been growing on me,” Lizzie sighs, the vision of a woman distraught. “Who knew I was into nerd porn?”

MG’s ears might as well be whistling, and Jed’s cough sounds like a choke now.

“Girl, say what,” Kaleb says in one disbelieving breath. “Tell me you’re not serious. You okay? Been getting enough sleep? Is this a breakdown thing, ‘cause Emma said we have to like, show solidarity and help you visualise your inner child and shit—”

Lizzie smarts at that, just a little. Her lips part to shoot some of her automatic sass bullets, but surprisingly nothings comes out. Landon secretly puts his hand on her knee in a secret show of solidarity.

“Kaleb,” Josie says sharply. “People can change.”

Lizzie eyes Landon curiously. He shoots her a small smile, which she looks away from.

“Exactly,” Penelope nods, but she’s smirking in a way that says she doesn’t buy a single thing, and is enjoying every second of watching Landon squirm under everyone’s scrutiny. “Who’d you lose the bet to, Lizzie?”

Lizzie, despite herself, starts to feel annoyed. “I’ll have you know, Penelope, Landon isn’t the short end of an already short bunch of sticks—”

Landon tries to figure out the compliment there.

“Then – then prove it!” MG blurts out. “Kiss. If you’re really a couple, then – Kiss!”

That stops Lizzie short. “Milton. Ew.”

“Really gross, MG.” Hope shoots him a look of distaste.

“Voyeur much?” Penelope smirks.

“Nah, I’m with MG,” defends Kaleb. “This is really entertaining and all, but it’s kinda starting to weird me out. Suck his face. No way you’d do that willingly.”

“You’re all wrong,” Lizzie tells them politely. Or as politely as she can. Things are a-movin’ and she’s excited; she can already feel her legs tingling when she accidentally siphons some of Landon’s magic from his hand on her knee under the table. She swallows down the smugness in her voice, because this is exactly where she’d hoped the day would go. She turns to Landon, and wills him not to look so pale.

“Pucker up, ‘90s,” she coos.

Keeping her face as forced-smiley as possible she leans forward and gives Landon a peck on his lips. A small little one. A peck really, bird to bird.

Landon, to her discreet pleasure, kisses her back.

When they part their chaste, publicly-acceptable form of display, everyone is looking at them, shell-shocked.

Penelope steals Jed’s can of Coke just so she could do a spit-take.

 —

 “That plan worked out awesome. Score one to Saltzman,” Lizzie sighs victoriously as she plops down onto her bed. “Now on to Phase 2.”

“I really don’t want to know what Phase 2 is,” Landon mumbles. He’s got his arm slung over his eyes as he slumps three inches down into Lizzie’s plushy pink armchair.

“Phase 2 is Mom walking into us. She’s about to start baking downstairs. I know. It’s Tuesday. Ready?”

Slowly, Landon removes his arms. He stares at her. For like, a really long time. “What do you mean,” he widens his eyes, “by walking into us.”

Lizzie smiles deviously. Without warning, she lets out a very soft moan.

“Lizzie,” Landon hisses harshly.

“Yes, exactly, keep doing that,” Lizzie responds in a breathless voice, whilst she grins manically at him and flaps her hands, motioning for him to go louder.

“Lizzie,” Landon groans now, completely exasperated. “It’s barely been two days, I really doubt we’ll be having sex right now—”

“Yeah, keep talking dirty to me!” Lizzie all but bellows and jumps up on the bed, the mattress squeaking. She glares at Landon, who sighs, and very reluctantly joins her.

They jump up and down, and every so often Lizzie punches Landon in the arm so he lets out a believable grunt.

The mattress springs keep squeaking. Lizzie keeps up her panting.

After four more minutes of that, Landon’s a little out of breath, puts some spring in his jump, and lands in a pile of Lizzie’s haphazard pillows.

“Give it up, Lizzie,” he says, resuming his previous moping position of arm-over-eyes. “I think I pulled a muscle.”

“Sexy,” Lizzie says the way one might say ‘rancid foot’, but drops down next to him anyway. She stares at the ceiling, and they let out a long sigh.

After about another four minutes of moping, Lizzie turns to her side and swats Landon’s arm off his face. “Enough! Tomorrow night is another day.”

“That doesn’t even make sense,” he points out, before propping himself up on one elbow to face her. “About that kiss just now—”

“They totally bought it,” Lizzie can’t resist interrupting.

“You sure you okay with this?” he mumbles in that Landon way of his. He studies her face. She notes the dark circles framing his obsidian-blues.

“Getting cold feet already, Kirby?”

“No, it’s just that—”

Her door swings open. “Elizabeth, do you remember where your mum put the…”

Lizzie and Landon whip around to see a very livid Professor M, staring at them, at the space between them, at the sweat beading on Landon’s forehead, at Lizzie’s once-sleek French braid that has now shaken loose, at the two of them again, at the space between them, and once more at Landon.

“Professor Mika-Mikaels—” Landon squawks, turning white as a sheet.

The growl that emanates from Professor M seems to make the room tremble, and Landon all but stutters to a stop. Lizzie, however, is coming up sunflowers. She practically bounces to her knees and throws her hands up, eyes crinkling warmly, exclaiming, “What did you need of me, my beloved stepfather!”

“Well, darling, I was looking for your mother’s ridiculously expensive sea salt but now I’m looking for something else entirely,” he grits out through clenched teeth, despite being slightly mollified by Lizzie’s welcome.

“And that is?” Lizzie all but croons, making a very conscious move towards Landon. “We’re kind of in the middle of studying right now.”

“Banishing objects, hm? Your books are missing.”

“Invisique,” Lizzie sings in reply. Landon just wants her to shut the fuck up, right now.

Landon’s head disappears, which is a good thing, because he looks like he’s holding in from puking his guts out, the way Klaus observes him like he’s a piece of meat.

“You’re the phoenix, yes?”

“Yes,” Landon says squeamishly.

“Alright,” Professor M seems to deliberate, before flashing over to Landon, grabbing him and throwing him out the room and right down the stairs.

“Niklaus Mikaelson!” comes her mom’s furious bellow.

“For FUCK’S SAKE, KLAUS!” She hears Dad yell. “WE JUST TALKED ABOUT THIS.”

Screams erupt, there’s a clattering of feet, and Lizzie falls out of bed in a perfect traumatised swoon, back of her hand rested delicately on her forehead. “Stepfather! Can we not with the dramatics!”

“We’re going to have a talk about this later,” he warns with a finger wagging her way, his undisguised rage making his accent thicker.

“I’ll miss you when you’re suspended again,” Lizzie pouts.

He groans, already hearing Mom’s boots stomping up the stairs. “As shall I, my sweet.”

 —

 At least Landon’s gotten used to resurrecting. Cause of death: the ire of Professor Klaus Mikaelson.

Lizzie’s waiting for him with a warm blanket when he starts to stir, her head facing the sky like she’s enjoying the sunset. Blinking groggily, he turns onto his stomach and rubs the back of his neck. He feels the weather-worn wood of the docks pressing into his face and he groans. That’s going to leave a mark.

“Welcome back,” Lizzie quips.

“Just because I can’t die doesn’t mean I wouldn’t appreciate some sympathy, Lizzie,” Landon mutters, throwing her a murderous look. “So what’s your damage.”

“Let’s see,” Lizzie says as she drapes the blanket over Landon’s crumpled heap of a body, face and all. “Two weeks of grounding. Mom suggested making it three weeks, but Dad intervened and said he’d rather us be on library duty instead for the rest of this semester.”

“Us?”

“Professor M also suggested throwing you out the window and have me try to levitate you before you hit the ground—”

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

“—but Mom was all Oh, maybe that’s a little too harsh,” Lizzie continues thoughtfully.

“A little?” Landon squeaks underneath the blue and white embroidered quilt. “Literally dying wasn’t enough?”

“But on the plus side, they were yelling so hard the entire school now knows we were caught post-doing the dirty.” Lizzie shoots him a grin. “On to Phase 3!”

“No!” Landon yells and clambers to his feet. “Lizzie, so far all your plans have kind of sucked for me, you know? How the hell is Hope supposed to like me now that she thinks I’ve slept with you!”

“Easy, lover boy,” Lizzie says, frowning. “This is the 21st century, she’s not a prude.”

“You don’t — you don’t know her like I do,” Landon says, burying his face in his hands and turning towards the water. “She’s not like y…”

He whirls around, hands already halfway lifting up like a gesture of apology but Lizzie’s already standing up, facing him squarely. Her eyes are narrowed as she takes him in coolly. “Not like?”

“Nevermind,” Landon says quickly. “Let’s grab some dinner, I’m starv—”

“Finish your fucking sentence, Frodo,” Lizzie says in a voice that is low and dangerous. Is it weird that he’s seeing some Klaus in the shadows of her face right now?

“Lizzie… let’s drop it.”

“No. Let’s hear you say it. Not like what? You were saying she’s not like me,” she hisses. Her fists are bunched into tight fists and he’s so glad she doesn’t have anything to syphon right now. He really hasn’t tried dying twice in the span of 12 hours.

“Look, I’m sorr—”

“Invisique,” she whispers.

“Lizzie!”

He hears the wooden boards squeak as she runs away, and when her feet hit grass there’s no telling where she might be.

“Fuck you, Landon!” he yells and heaves a rock into the water with a loud splash.

 —

tbc

[rogerstoast]

Garage Band//Roger Taylor x Fem Reader

warnings: fluff ig, really simple and cute

AN: I wrote this a long ass time ago and never revised it so apologies in advance for errors.

You were in your second year at Imperial College, and struggling to get through your second set of finals this year. Only three more exams to get through and you could finally say hello to summer.

The fact that you have been sitting at your desk studying for the last six hours, didn't help with stress either. No matter how much you studied, you just couldn't seem to grasp any bit of information from the papers in front of you.

Figuring it was going on six, and you have been sitting in an old wooden chair since noon, a well deserved break was needed. Capping your pen, you got up, stretched, grabbed your jacket and headed out of your dorm for a walk.

As you were walking down the streets of London, subtle music began to play in the distance. It wasn't half bad either. Quite decent actually. The music grew louder and you noticed a few, small groups of people, mostly girls, were gathered on the driveway of the house.

You looked both ways before crossing the street to see what was going on. Once you reached the house, it was hard to get about considering so many students were crowding the lot. Squeezing through and shoving past all the bodies was a struggle, but you managed to get to the front and into the garage.

Just as expected, it was a band. Now that you're here, you remembered your friend telling you about them a few days ago. But you weren't expecting them to be this good. The group was made up of three uni students. A tall one with wavy dark hair playing the guitar, and another dark haired guy, a little shorter, playing the bass. They both were singing. Along with the fella who caught your eye instantly. He had blond, wavy hair and played the drums wonderfully. Never missing a beat, and harmonized with the group beautifully.

About two songs in, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

"(Y/n)! What are you doing here?" It was your friend Lorali, the one who told you about  the band.

"Needed to get some fresh air after sitting at that desk for so long. Thought I'd see what was so special about this band you were telling me about" I told her.

"Well I'm glad you came! Wanna go get a drink with me? Bars inside."

Accepting the fact that it was a Friday night and you studied enough for the day, you gave into her offer.

"Sure thing!" Following Lorali to the door located behind the band, you figured you would steal another glance at the drummer, as you were about to past him. However, he seemed to have caught your glance just as they were finishing their song. You immediately looked away, and followed your friend through the door, as you felt a slight blush rise to your cheeks.

"What are you blushing about," she asked you, noticing your obvious flushed complexion.

"Wh-what? Nothing. Just need a drink that's all."

"Oh please (y/n), what kinda twat do you think I am. Do you really think I didn't see you making heart eyes at the drummer a second ago?"

Damn it Lorali.

She could always see right through you.

"Oh shut up! Doesn't matter, it's obvious he's the womanizer of the group, what should it matter to me?" But before she could deny anything, I poured myself a shot of whisky and downed it as fast as I could. Feeling a wave of relief already, I gave her a look as if to say alright, go on.

"The night is still young, (y/n). Let's go back out there, they're almost done!

Following her back out to the garage, you noticed it had got darker outside, and string lights lit up the garage as students gathered around a fire pit on the driveway, smoking and dancing along to the music.

Lorali led you to the couch up front, and you took a seat right next to her, each with a beer in hand. Facing the band, they sang and rocked their hearts out to their closing song. You happened to really like it. Wether it was the subtle head bops, or the perfect rhythm he managed to keep, you couldn't keep your eyes off of the drummer. He played perfectly. The song then came to a faster, more rock n roll bit and the guitarist played a rif while blondie hit the drums harder and faster than before.

This time when he caught you staring at him, you didn't look away immediately right after. Same goes for him, giving you a wink and a cheeky smile. Doubting the possibility he could be looking at you, you turned your head around to see if the group of girls from earlier was behind you or something. Only to find them outside, and groups of guys behind you instead. When you turned around, he seemed to notice your disbelief, and subtly laughed to himself. You blushed and looked down, feeling slightly embarrassed that you thought he wasn't gesturing towards you.

Drinking from your cup, they finished the song and ended it with harmonizing their voices and it sounded like the most spectacular thing you have ever heard before.

doooiinnn allllllrrrrrriiiggghhhhhtttt

The guitarist then spoke into the mic, "Thanks for coming out everybody, we really appreciate it!"

You sighed to yourself, that the live music was over for the night. But just as a record started playing from the corner of the room, you stood up for your spot on the couch, next to your friend. In need for a quick smoke, you informed her you were going to stand outside for a bit and warm up by the fire.

Noticing people have either left or gone to get their second round of drinks, you stood next to the fire pit, struggling to warm up. Pulling a pack and a lighter from your coat pocket, you were slightly disappointed to see that you were all out.

"Having a bit of trouble over there?" You heard a deep voice ask you from behind, causing you to turn around.

Crap. It's him. "Oh I uh, I uh, I'm all out, that's all," you awkwardly chuckle and look down.

"No worries," the drummer then pulls out a pack and offers you a cigarette.

You take it as your fingers lightly brush over his. "Thanks," you say, with a small smile.

You both light your cigarettes and you allow yourself to really let it sink in before taking a long breath out.

"I'm a, I'm Roger by the way," the drummer offered is hand out for you to shake

"(Y/n)," you reply, shaking his hand in return. 

"Wow, that's a nice name. How come I've never seen you around here before?" he asked.

You blush a little and turn to meet his eyes. Wow, you thought. It was the first time you saw his big blue eyes. Just as you were about to get lost in them, you remembered he asked you a question.

"Oh, I uh, I came with my friend. You guys were amazing by the way, should've come around sooner."

He chuckled and took a small step closer to me, "Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I feel like I've seen you around." his mention came off more as a question.

"Yeah, im a uni student. Second year actually, majoring in fashion design. What about you?" I asked him, bringing my cigarette back up to my lips.

"Dental student. Doesn't seem to be working out well. Hoping this band thing works out," he said, looking back at me.

"Ah I wouldn't worry about it, you guys were amazing," I reassured him with a smile, hoping I wasn't coming off too obsessive with all the compliments I was giving him.

But Roger loved how you would blush and gawk over the band. Although you never noticed him until this night, he has noticed you since the beginning of his second year at uni. He sat at the very back in a class you two shared with each other, but you never seemed to noticed he existed until today. Roger on the other hand, was the total opposite. He noticed you the first day, and couldn't get over how beautiful you were. The way you concentrated so hard in class to make sure you took all the right notes, and the way your tongue would poke out of your mouth when you were focused. Roger admired all of it. Everything about you. But, he never had the courage to talk to until tonight. It was almost as if he had been intimidated by your perfection, and it made him nervous, which is not in his nature. Being known as the womanizer and all. 

"If I don't know any better, I'd say you have a little crush on the band," he brought up, trying to mess with you.

"Oh shut up!" you joked back, nudging his shoulder with yours, both of you lightly chuckling. It was only then when you realized how close you too actually were. Standing there, shoulder to shoulder.

You then realized your beer was empty when you went for another sip. Figuring you walked here, maybe it would be best to start heading back

"Well, i uh, I should get going I guess."

"Wait"

But just as you were about to walk away, Roger grabbed your hand to turn you around. Very quickly actually, resulting in your noses almost bumping each other as your faces grew closer all of a sudden. Neither of you said anything for a second, but just looked at each other. Both sets of eyes quickly looking down at each other's lips, then back at each other's eyes. Yet the awkward tension took over, making the moment suddenly uncomfortable.

"Let me get you another drink at least?" He offered.

You easily obliged with a simple, "okay," and a small smile.

He took your hand and led you through the garage past the bunch of people who were still there, and into the house to the kitchen.

While Roger went to the fridge to grab two beers, you hopped up and sat on the corner.

"So Rog, is this your house?" You asked curiously. 

He walked over to stand in front you, and handed you the can.

"Yeah, I've been rooming with Brian for a couple of months now."

You don't know why, but you felt so at ease around him. A sudden wave of confidence washed over you, causing the next question to come out of your mouth without a care in the world.

"I assume that means you have your own room then?"

Roger knew what you were intending with that question. He raised an eyebrow with a smirk on his face as he walked closer to you, standing in between your legs.

"I suppose it does," he replied, your faces merely a few inches away from each other.

Roger placed a hand on your thigh, taking you  a bit by surprise. But you allowed it, and you couldn't help but feel more at ease because of it. The moment, it felt so right. But why? You barely knew him. You feel like you did, but you didn't.

"Hey (y/n)" Roger whispered, as our faces grew closer

"Yeah"

"I know you barely know me, but I need to be honest. Ever since I saw you the first day of uni, I thought you were absolutely stunning. I always sit at the back of class, and I can help but admire your perfection. It kills me, everyday when I see you."

This took you by surprise even more. That's why Roger looked familiar to you. But what he just confessed to you made your heart skip a beat, and cause butterflies to literally explode in your stomach. You were blushing uncontrollably and had a huge smile plastered on your face. Why? You didn't know. Even though you barely knew each other, everything felt as if it was meant to be happening.

"Roger, I-"

But before you could say anything, he leaned in and crashed his lips into yours. It was fast, but sweet and loving at first. You flung your arms around his neck, running your hand through his hair. He brought his other hand up to your cheek as the kiss became more heated. Both of you craved each other, need each other. Roger has been the missing thing in your life all along.

Roger then took his hands, slid them under your thighs, signaling for you to jump on him. Which you did, wrapping your legs around his torso as his hands made their way under your ass to hold you up. He then started kissing you down your neck, leaving love bites all over. The feeling completely melting your insides, you grabbed his face with both hands and connected your lips together yet again.

Before you knew it, Roger had already carried you upstairs. Your lips not letting go for even a single breath of air, the two of you pushed the door open, only for him to slam it shut with his foot, ready for night of his life.

——————————————————

[northseas]

update 18.12.18

(technically it’s the 19th now lol)

hey I realise it’s been a while since I've made a little update post so here it goes:

hello! it is your credibly neighbourhood Frøy here again!

I’m at uni! studying comparative literature and literary sciences! I started this august and I love it! it’s been great, I love my teacher, she is the best, and I am in class (purposely so) with my best friend! which has made the whole experience so so much better. Although I've been having a great time, and found this topic very interesting, it hasn’t been without it’s owns issues. as with my entire academic career, from first grade in elementary school, all throughout high school and now in my uni days I've had issues with working, concentration, and handing in assignments. so much so that when the last classes of the semester rolled around, i still had not turned in any of the required work I needed to submit to be eligible to take the exams (which I have two of). I freaked out, and came to the conclusion that this could not continue, so I called up the uni’s psychologists office to get an appointment. which is tomorrow!!! and I am planning on seeing if I can be assessed for ADHD. I also sent an email to my main teacher, and bless her heart, and we worked out a solution together. what we agreed on was that I simply had to write the 4 essays (that were supposed to hand in over the course of the semester) in one and a half week, in time for my first exam. it was a hell week but it went fine! and I got to take the exam! and now on Friday is my last one! idk how it’ll go, I bombed the first one (because in reality I had only one day to study for it...) oh well, let’s just hope this one goes well!

I still work at lush, too, it’s fun, I like it, but the Christmas rush is all over us now, so it is a lot to do. I smell nice.

but I guess the biggest news is that I've moved out! yeah! I no longer live at my parents loft, but on my own, with two others. I knew them both from before, and I've settled in quite well. my room is big, the house is very central, and the rent is decent. I still live in the same city as my parents, which is nice, id miss my mom too much if I lived further away heh, so it is comforting to know that she is only a half hour walk away !!

and then there is my photography work! I still work (as a volunteer) for the student community center, which is one of Norways top concert halls, as a photographer! it’s great, I love it, I feel so fortunate to be able to do something that I love so much. all of the people I work with there are great people, and its so strange to now be in a situation where I have more than just two friends at a time :’) I still have one more year left of my “contract” there, and I've worked there one and a half year already, and it’s been the greatest time of my life so far

so all in all, my I'm enjoying where I am in life right now, which is strange to admit

I mean, there is still a lot of stuff I haven't quite figured out yet, and there are things I need to work on more and I'm not quite there yet, but I'm closer than I've ever been before

so I guess next up on the checklist of my life:

the dysphoria and tackle loneliness

[findingyou0711]

Chapter 4

"Our class is over! What should we do now?" I asked William. 

"There are two assignments: one for psychology and one for grammar class. I despise that subject! Why do we have to talk about that, for God's sake? "He responded. 

You seem to despise grammar class; is it possible because you're not very good at it? I asked sarcastically. 

"Oh, shut up! It's not like your grammar skills are on par with our professor's; you stink at it, too." He yelled angrily. 

"Settle down! My English grammar and vocabulary are terrible, but who did better on the quiz last week?" 

"Fine! I wouldn't say I like that subject as a whole. Happy!" He sighed. 

William pushed my back when we were going to the library. "Let's do that assignment together and help me with that stupid assignment so I can get the same grade as you." 

"If you don't come begging for aid, how can I give it to you?" 

"Would you please help me with the homework? Please! "he begged. 

I spent most of my time at school with William and nobody else. I didn't understand how I'd become so withdrawn, perhaps because the world was much bigger than the volleyball court. 

Our days are still the same: we go to class, eat in the cafeteria, and go to the library after class or when we have free time. There are, however, only a few changes. Every Friday, we go to his home in Cavite to watch movies, play games on his Playstation, or read manga while drinking and, yes, drinking until morning and getting wasted. Occasionally, my classmates and I will go to a bar for drinks. Vicky is mainly in charge of planning things out, but he also likes to hang out with his high school friends.

Despite the drinking and Friday nights spent with William, my life is no longer as monotonous as it once was. I'm now conversing with other students in our class and William. We even tell another block regarding our frustration and anger. If we don't do that, we don't participate in the college organizations' activities. Our class is the one that has to do all of these activities, and it's embarrassing that the other block doesn't even care. They are just messing around and playing. Maybe not all of them, but they've seriously damaged their reputation. 

We're enjoying our first year of college despite setbacks and block conflicts. Lots of things are going on outside the room. The President and Vicky are organizing a block swim after the semester. One of our classmates owned a little resort in Pansol, Laguna, and he informed us that the only thing to worry about was the food. 

However, we must endure the final exam next week before we can get to the nice stuff. Aside from individual and group projects, we must also study hard, or we won't be allowed to take several second-semester subjects. 

~~~~ 

Two days before the final test. Saturday afternoon 

William and I changed our clothes after our Saturday classes and went to a club in Makati. We take a jeep to his friends' school, De La Salle. 

"You have friends from La Salle? What made you decide to stay in Adamson?" I asked. 

"Those are my high school buddies. I stayed in Adamson because of the discount on tuition. I am almost not paying the tuition fee because of it. It's almost like I'm a student at this college. I must pay for the miscellaneous fees, books, and uniforms." He responded. 

"Discounts?" 

"Yes. My sister is presently enrolled there, my father completed his studies there, and I completed my high school education there. I got those discounts because of that."

"Are you okay with that?" I asked. 

"No. I was supposed to study at UST to pursue medicine. However, my mom refused and told me to get Education instead. She just forced me there." 

"But your friends are studying in La Salle. You can take that there, right?" 

"The course I wanted is unavailable on Taft's main campus. The tuition in La Salle is costly." He looked at me while I was looking at him bitterly because of his answers. 

"It is an elite school, Nikolai. For God's sake, you don't know anything. It is part of the big four schools!" He exclaimed. 

"UP is also part of the big four schools, but the tuition is affordable and even recognized internationally. Maybe, I only knew to pass UP and then apply to the other three schools. I do believe that UP is the greener pasture." 

"Luckily, I did not attempt to take the exam there. Otherwise, if I fail UPCAT, I will care damn hard." He reacted. "For sure you did not pass there?" he asked. 

"I was able to pass the exam but not admitted to Diliman. My mom does not want me to go to Baguio and wants me to remain here, so we decided to give that up." 

I can see the shock on his face. He did not expect that I was going to pass that exam. 

He just exclaimed, showing his disappointment over my goddamn decision to slide it off, "Damn! You missed it!" 

"I know. Sadly, that's life. Shit happens every time!" 

We finally arrived at our destination and got out of the jeep. We walked to the main gate and waited for his friends to meet us. A few minutes, one of William's friends arrived. "Will, you are already here!" 

"Men! Wassup!" After greeting each other, they did a handshake which I have no idea what the hell was. 

"Let's wait for them at the other gate. Axel will bring out the car from the parking area here." 

We immediately left the main gate and went to the other entrance. It was not that far from where we had stayed earlier. 

The gate opened, and a dark blue car went out. The Dude earlier exclaimed, "They are already here!" He ran going near to the vehicle. We followed along with the lad. 

"Raffy, William, and... That guy! Get in!" The one who is driving the said car told us. We immediately get inside. The lad immediately went us off from their school. 

"Will, how are you?" another dude from the back asked, putting his hands on William's shoulder. All of them, except me, did that handshake again. I just watched as I have no idea how they do that.

"Boring! I must look at St. Vincent de Paul again every time I walk to my room. It sucks!" He complained.

"We told you to at least transfer. 

However, you did not listen to us." The guy in the front said. 

"How are you, Nikolai? Wait, was that your name? He asked. 

"Yes. That's my name." 

"His name is Nikolai. Nice meeting you, Dude!" The driver of the car said. 

"Are half-Slavic?" the Dude at the back asked. 

"No. I have no idea Why I am named Nikolai. What is "Slavic"?" 

"Maybe, I'll ask you straight. Are half-Ukrainian, Russian, or something like that?" 

"No. I do not have any foreign blood in me." 

"I just asked because Nikolai is the Slavic equivalent of Nicholas. That's why I asked." He explained. I nodded while William scolded him, "Not all people with a Slavic-sounding name have any Slavic blood, just like you." 

"Did he?" I briefly asked William. 

"Yes. This guy is half-Ukrainian, half-Danish to his mother's side; his father is a Filipino-German." 

"Wow!" I exclaimed and immediately looked at him. 

"Hej! (Hello!)" He greeted me. 

"Hello!" 

"I am not very fluent in Ukrainian. I spent most of my vacation in Denmark and Schleswig-Holstein than in Ukraine. And, of course, it is freaking affordable here than in Denmark." 

"Where is Schlesleleeh-Holstein?" I asked. 

"Schleswig-Holstein, Germany. My paternal grandfather is from there, while my paternal grandmother is from Mecklenburg-Vorpommern." 

"I see." 

Irritated at this point, William scolded him again, "Kiril Valdemar, I understand that we have a new kid here but for the love of God, please calm down and stop being too excited!" 

William, in turn, was scolded by another of their friend sitting beside Kiril, "Dude! Would you please be happy for a second, at least? Today is the first after our graduation that we will meet again. Also, you forgot to introduce us to your friend with us." 

Kiril added, "Uncool! I am the one who is introducing myself to Nikolai when in fact, it is your job to introduce him to us. Wilhelm, when will you grow up?" 

"You know that I am not good at it." He was supposed to add something but was interrupted by the driver-friend. "So, let our chatterbox Kiril do it instead." 

We have a moment of silence as they release that what he had said was entirely right. While looking at them awkwardly, I immensely regret why I joined them. Luckily, their friend beside Kiril randomly said, "Nikolai, don't worry! We are not fighting!" and laughed. They softly laugh along with the guy. 

"By the way, I am Charles, William's friend. I studied with him in Adamson." He introduced himself. I silently said "Hello" to him. 

Kiril interrupted, "The guy who accompanied you and William, his name is Joachim." 

Joachim complained, "My name is not Joachim. It is Joaquin. Miguel Joaquin, Go!" 

"Sorry, Nikolai. Kiril loves changing our name to German or Danish. He calls me Karl." Charles explained to me. 

"It's okay." I calmly said. 

"Before my name becomes Germanic or Danish, my name is Michael." The guy in the front seat introduced himself. 

"Its Mikkel!" Kiril corrected him. 

"Don't believe him too much, Nikolai. My name is Axel Jorgensen. Among us here, my name cannot translate into Kiril." the one driving this vehicle said.

"Yeah, right, Axel! Kiril cannot translate your name because you are Danish, just like him." William uttered.

Kiril also confirmed, "Yes, Nikolai. He is also Danish, just like me." 

"I have different halves. My father is a full-blown Danish while my mother is a Filipino-American, although they are Swedish and migrated to America." He explained. 

"Niko, he is from Skagen while I am from Graten near the border going to Germany." Kiril happily said. 

"Valdi, you need to calm down right now. He does not know anything that you are saying right now." Axel ordered. 

"It's alright. I can understand what Kiril is saying." I shyly responded. 

"I do not know why we ended up talking about their half-nationality thingy. Are we that bored? Should we talk about Niko instead?" Joaquin asked. 

"We can talk about that later when we arrive at our destination," I replied, and he agreed by nodding. 

It was traffic in Buendia. Axel regrets not following Joaquin's advice to go to Singalong Street to Makati. So, Axel made a last-minute effort to save our time in this God damn traffic by going to a small street. I could see that Joaquin was not satisfied with this, but I could hear Michael whispering, "Joaquin, just trust Axel here." 

Luckily, he could escape the freak traffic by going to Roxas Boulevard. We made a partial stop at World Trade Center. Michael went out to the car and switched seats with Joaquin, who knew the club's location. 

Joaquin is pointing to Axel in the direction going to the area. 

We returned to Vito Cruz, and a few minutes later, we were already in Makati. I saw the Manila South Cemetery, which is also terrifying, but I realized that the North is way scarier than this one. After a few minutes of Axel driving and Joaquin shouting to turn in here or something like that, we can reach our destination. The bar was quite near Ateneo (School of Law). Before going there to drink, we first went to a hotel nearby. 

"A hotel. What are we going to do here?" I asked. 

"We are going to stay here. That's why I told you to bring extra clothes." William answered. He added, "No worries, I reserved an extra room, so I asked if you wanted to join us. It is free." 

I responded, "Thank you." 

"Who is going to stay with Niko?" Axel asked. 

"It is going to be..." William was supposed to answer the question when Kiril interrupted him. "Me!" 

Joaquin advised, "No, Kiril! Nikolai is not going to stay with you. He is going to stay with William. Also, he might not sleep because of your chitchat." 

"It's okay," I responded. 

"I think it best that Niko is with William than with you, Kiril. William was the one who asked Niko to join us. He might go shocked if you join him in the room." Charles said, agreeing with Joaquin. 

We finally went inside our hotel rooms; Axel was with Kiril, Charles was with Joaquin, and I was with William. When we entered the room, I immediately jumped on the bed and lay there. 

"It is so soft!" I exclaimed. 

"You seriously need to inspect whether the bed is soft." William laughingly said. 

"So I can identify if this hotel is good or not," I said. 

"Before you enjoy the bed, please change your clothes, and we are going to the hotel restaurant and eating our dinner before we party in the bar nearby." 

"Okay. I'll stop." 

After changing my clothes, we immediately went to the lobby, where the hotel restaurant is. Upon arriving, I already so the large variety of foods that I eat, plus it has themes. Meaning I can eat Asian, Italian, French, Indian, and a lot of dishes all over the world. I had a hard time choosing what to eat, so I just wanted to get small portions of the foods I wanted to try and stop once I got full. Meanwhile, the rest picked whatever they wanted to eat. They also tried new foods, except for Charles, who decided to eat foods familiar to him. 

"Charles, would you at least try foods that are "new" to your palate? You are always fried chicken and rice, nothing else." Axel expressed his disbelief. 

"This chicken is way better than the one we eat in La Salle. It was buttermilk." 

"You need to emphasize that..." Axel whispered and ate his meal.

After an hour of eating, we stay here for a while because we feel we cannot walk. Regardless, we still went to the bar nearby. Ten minutes after we arrived at the bar, our drinks arrived, and we drank as if there was no tomorrow. 

While drinking, Kiril was interviewing me about my life in general. Despite being tipsy, he is still a chatterbox!

"Do you have a girlfriend? Are you in a relationship?" he asked. 

"I never have any." I briefly answered. 

"Do you like to see the sunrise tomorrow? Would you want to go to Manila Bay tomorrow morning with me?" he asked again. 

"I prefer the sunset to the sunrise. I do not know. I just like it." I respond. 

Charles interrupted Kiril as he was supposed to ask another, "You are an embarrassment! Kiril, would you please ask something very decent?"

"My questions are polite and very decent. I do not think my questions aren't decent." He calmly responds. 

"I mean, your questions are downright stupid. Please, ask other questions other than those. You seriously ask if Niko was in a relationship." Charles explained. 

I am not sure what the hell I am drinking. I could only recognize beer and champagne. But for the others, I could identify those based on the color, browns and whites. We went back to the hotel at nearly four in the morning. 

I woke up at nearly one in the afternoon. I have no recollection of what happened last night. The only thing that I had to remember was that Kiril was talking to me. Our conversation was never-ending. 

[prettyrecklesskitten]

I am so upset right now 😭 I'm supposed to write two exams next week but I can't study because I got a concussion 🔪🔪 And it's not even getting better, eventhough I predominantly slept yesterday (and drank a lot of water).

It kinda gets worse tho! I do kickboxing(hence the concussion) and whenever someone gets actually hurt, it's due to an accident. Earlier this year I had another concussion because this one dude kicked me in the head without stopping first (which is what you are supposed to do since we're not doing full contact boxing) and he blamed me for it, claiming I could've blocked it - even though I was a total beginner (😭) It was so ridiculous, he didn't even apologize.. Note that when the trainer aimed for my head during sparing it never hurt, because he had stopped before impact. It was more akin to a gentle tap on the cheek.

Anyways, me and my friend were practicing with said dude on Friday. We were doing a more cardio-focused day to circumvent sparring related injuries(the trainer knew of my friend's and my finals in the upcoming week). Such a day would include punching into a punching pad as fast (and if you want to, as hard) as you can. I was holding the punching pad for him and my friend was holding a bigger one, for kicks.

I was holding the punching pad in such a way that he had to do sideways hooks, and he did, and then he missed the punching pad on accident. And hit the side of my face - I was out, obviously. What was the first thing that man said to me? That I should've blocked his blow. ? Sir ?

I realize that it sucks to accidentally hurt someone, but I wouldn't even be mad at him if he had apologized. But to fully blame me? For just standing there? And I wasn't even holding the punching pad at head hight. He just made a mistake but he can't admit to it and it so strange to me.

Or am I insane to think that I am not at fault here?

[timextoxhajima]

WAIT THATS SO COOL, i had no clue you wanted to work in the media industry. it must've been stressful BUT YOU DID IT WOO!! idk why but its so cool to me LOL. also yes thank god its friday im so tired, i work as a ta in my old high school and coincidentally i happen to work in my cousins class so its a bit awkward. right now they're dealing with finals so i've just been marking stuff. it's been a bit hectic but its fairly easy marking a bit annoying tho, i cant imagine how it must be for you </3 AND ALSO I DONT MIND AT ALL feel free to rant whenever i love talking to you <3

i am in a media-focussed uni faculty!! i study broadcast and film and have done some writing modules (both for newswriting/cinema, but journalism/newswriting is NOT for me), i've been doing short film projects based on old film theories/concepts/genres like drama and documentaries for the last few years in uni, so yes i am p much a foot into it.

wait but finals in jan?? that's so strange to hear. final exams here are like, either in sept/oct if ure in pre-uni and in uni its at in may and november bc they are the last months of our semesters.

no but if ure a ta and ure marking stuff doesnt that mean you see stupid shit 😭 both my parents are teachers and the number of times they've ranted about a student/or something dumb they write or did is astounding (bc my dad's been a teacher since i was born and my mom since i was like 8 or 9)

ugh the other bit i wanted to rant about... i'm in a kpop cover dance group in uni, we have a concert in feb. long story short, i had a vetting last sun (like, exactly what a vetting means: they watch your performance to tell u what to change/improve on), and they didn't really say much about me except that i missed some timings and that my arms were not straight.

but i got a dancer warning (dw) (which is smth the captains issue to particular members for 'standing out') and i was bamboozled. bc they really didn't say much about my performance, so why exactly did i stand out?

i never found out. i texted my ics (bc im in 3 items, i was given a dw for 2 items lol shinhwa and enhypen) and neither of them could tell me why. they said "i think" blablabla. i got frustrated. i texted the captain straight to ask why they issued me the dw.

she gave me the definition of a dw: stood out from the rest - doesn't help me figure out what i did wrong. later, heard from someone's someone (means me asking the cap already spread like wildfire apparently) that the cap was stunned that i asked her and said "it wasn't her decision"

in conclusion: ??????? was i given a dw bec they just dont like me or bec they dont rmb why i stood out or like, what????? just felt like they gave me a baseless dw and i was so upset this entire week bc i got this news on MONDAY.

i sulked when i got to enhypen prac on wed and lowkey threw a fit cause how am i supposed to improve if im not being told what's wrong... zz

[kyunsies]

Hello Mädch ahsdjaksdh <3 !!

how is college going? dw, I hope you are settling in super well and feeling optimistic about school and all the amazing things I know you are going to achieve this year! I am excited that you are starting your rotations now! you are going to do awesome, I know it! I'm sorry that you didn't get that ICU first like you wanted but hopefully it's all part of the plan so that you get it at the right time for you <3 let me know how they go, of course. I hope they go super well.

the week has been a bit weird to be honest, in my team I had a semi argument that was properly tense for the first time with someone and it was just so unpleasant. you know those people where they aren't horrible but you know that you'll never completely see eye to eye with them? i think it's just one of those things, where we'll never just completely read each other or get each other? and it's not, like, a massive issue or anything that we can't deal with, but I feel like usually I get on really well with people or not at all (all or nothing person I guess haha) but with this person I've just got to admit that we're always going to be a bit in the middle? like, we talked it over, and I've still found sometimes we misunderstand one another? so things are still good in work and clients, but with workpeople it has been the more difficult battle? hopefully we should get some more cool media stuff with the K-pop people soon, so that's an up?

OMGsh your coworkers are so much older than you! [lease do post a picture of your room, I am 100% confident that you have made it so dreamy and pretty. Thank you sm for telling me more about these operations though! I feel like everywhere is on red alert at the moment when it comes to health and care and making sure that people look after themselves and not put others at risk, you know? the doctors that to talk to me about my potential surgeries too have said the same but it's nice hearing it from a friend, you know? so thank youuuu <3 <3

I was the same as you, I would get so so so anxious and stressed if I wasn't studying or working or anything like that? but my mum is like your mum and grandma, where she gets up early too! but I feel like I need to do the late night thing instead? but then once I got into this crazy spiral where I would wake up really early and go to bed really late and like nap in between so I ended up like having two hours of sleep either side? that was peak wth at the time haha XD so now I try and let myself wake up a bit later really XD ha ha I'm in barely adulting! like I work so much but I don't earn a lot ha ha – I don't think that's very effective adulting? or like, I don't know I guess for a lot of people my age there's a work hard and hope it pays off thing in certain industries? so you're definitely more effectively adulting than me right now! like, you're going to do stuff that's gonna actively help people and you'll see that right in front of you, you know!!? sometimes my work gets out there but I rarely see directly if it gets to make peoples lives better you know? so the path you're on is so so admirable <3 <3 <3

I get you though, do you find that you thrive under the pressure even though it's sometimes a lot? I find that sometimes it does help me, but sometimes I forget to identify the times when it isn't helping me? or, sometimes I take it too far? so please look out for yourself and take care of yourself <3 and when you're worried if you're on the edge know that it's enough for you to take a rest and not be super perfect. i sometimes tell myself to except that I'm probably gonna make two or three stupid mistakes a day? It sounds kind of silly but it means that it makes it easier for me to accept when I mess up, idk, I think it helps me balance the pressure sometimes? i 100% understand what you're saying - at school do they have people that can directly help? or like peer supporters so it's not as stressful or official feeling as a therapist? if you ever want me to come off anon to help lemme know <3 i'm always here for you <3

oh my gosh your grandparents have been able to live long too! all my grandparents lived close to 100 before passing, and one of my grandmothers had the same as your grandfather. he sounds so sweet and so kind though! i love that he knows how to FaceTime you! Some of my aunts and uncles still don't properly haha. it sounds like he knows that he's super loved though, he's very lucky <3 <3 i've been thinking about all this really lovely stuff and how it grounds you when stuff like careers can stress you out and feel like the most important thing when it shouldn't be? what are the personality differences between the different areas of the US? my East Coast friends seem to straight talk a lot more than my West Coast friends? like they're a lot more realistic as opposed to being, I don't know laid-back or if not laid-back sometimes just more comfortable with superficial stuff? Not like my West Coast friends are superficial people, but I think they accept it as part of the world a bit better? my friends on the east coast will rail against that stuff a lot more, like they buy into the influencer bullshit less? but I guess these are all sweeping generalisations anyway... I might have to travel a bit in europe soon... I got asked to go to otaly for some work today, and to holland next month. Idk if it will end up happening though, things change all the time? I have to keep checking quarantine rules all the time with countries! but YAY and YES Europe tour trip one day :D !!!!!!!

you know what? when I first saw you compare bowling and golf I was like, wait, what? but now I totally get it! i know a golfer and they talk about how physical and strenuous it is on the arms and stuff all the time which I don't think always comes across when you watch it and it makes a lot of sense with how you describe how you trained for bowling! i used to cox in rowing and I always used to find it really funny that I said that was the sport I did because honestly I just sat in the boat all the time and steered XD

obligatory YES WTF ARE COTTON SCENTS! quite a few shops in the city where I live have been closing down because of Covid but our Jo Malone is still going strong! I love that lots of already classic clothing shops have now gone out of business but for some reason the people where I live cannot live without their perfume XD I think I'm gonna go in later this week or next week to take a look! with all this travelling I kind of want to buy something new? also, my hands have been acting up with injury so I have to rest my hands more anyway – so might as well look for perfume right? do you have any recommendations or would the blueberry one you've just gotten be at the top of your list?

the exciting thing is that I'm doing a bit less this week! I need to wait and see if that job wants me to fly out to Italy within the next 48 hours, if not next week, but if not I think I'm gonna figure out how to rehabilitate my joints a bit and get my brain okay? It's been existential Covid crisis week haha - I think a lot of me and my friends have been feeling like we've lost so much of our lives and potential during this time and I've really tried to hold in and ignore it for the past 18 months? i'm not one to ever feel lonely or to really really want to be in a relationship like some of my friends, but I've just been feeling it this week? like, I love my independence, but I wouldn't say no to a boyfriend right now you know? I feel silly saying that sometimes because I'm so against feeling like you have to have someone in your life to be okay, but I guess that's just a result of how the world is has been recently?? but I think all my feelings exploded around this stuff now so, I am trying to get back into a better place? so it's not as exciting as some of the stuff I've told you about before, but it's what's up I guess?

how are your mum and grandmother doing? are they doing good? [lease send all my love to them too. I'm glad these help you reflect on your week! they do with me too and I'm always happy to hear from you, no matter how long you might need <3 <3 hope you manage to reward yourself for working so hard these past days and that you remember you're always doing 110% so you deserve the best!

love you lots and lots - 💥

ANGEL HELLO !!!!!!!!! i told myself i would stay on top of this and swear in a timely manner but ;_____; a full week + 2 clinical rotations later here i am on a sunday, it seems this is always the case :( maybe my get back to you day will only be on sundays LOL i will try my best in the future babe, but ofc thank you so much for being patient with me <3

uni is going fine so far hun !!!! i've started clinical rotations as i've said on thursday and friday, and then my first exam is on tuesday so i read some chapters yesterday so i'm not squished for time lol :) and ,,,, what you said "hope it's all part of the plan" is very much my way of thinking lol wha is your sign? i'm a sagittarius and that's like, a philosophy i go by like everything is how it's supposed to be even if it's not what u want like everything will work itself out :') i'm wondering if we are one in the same !!!!! <3

and omg ;_____; conflict within the workplace is NEVER easy bc all everyone wants is to reach the goal you all are reaching and bc there's some bumps in the road it makes everything that much more stressful :( and i know exactly the type of person you are talking about LOL i've had to work with some of my peers in the hospital who really didn't treat me all that nicely , but i still have to partner up with them anyways bc we had to move a patient lol ; like they never do anything terrible to you but you just cannot come to a proper agreement with them? i know the feeling :( but i can tell you are doing ur absolute best ;_____; it's a tough situation ,,,,,,,,, but may i propose something ??? maybe since things are high stress in the workplace, would u be willing to meet them outside the workplace, like a quick coffee meet up and then discuss those issues? maybe talking about it in the work environment is way too stressful for both of u and it is hard to come to an agreement, but maybe in a calmer, more informal setting do u think maybe the both of u could be like "hey, what u were talking about i'm not really head over heels for but this is what i think and do u think we can do something where both of us will be happy?" im thinking maybe will opening up a means for more civilized discussion?? just a thought LOL :') let me know how it goes :( i hope u are all able to figure everything out !!!!!

about the surgeries !!!!! like i said i know it's super stressful to think about bc this is one of the very few times in life where things are absolutely out of our control and that scares us, and we as medical providers aren't supposed to give u a false sense of security, but i promise u everything will be just fine as long as u correctly follow up with care post-op :) we wouldn't want an infection !!!! >;( i remember last year i had a patient and she was going in for a routine colonoscopy and she was scared shitless ,,,,,,, but i was like "listen ma'am i know it can seem scary but i was just in there with the doctors and everything is super relaxed and they know what they're doing in there, you'll be out in no time and i'll be here waiting !!" and that seemed to help her a lot, after the surgery she was on me like flies on shit LOL she was like "THANK U HONEY" (but i think most of it was bc she was still drugged up hhh)

LOL us with our family members waking up early <3 literally this morning i decided to do my laundry at 8am (its only 10 right right now lol) but idk it just make u feel a little bit better doesn't it? but oh my gosh no i don't see u in this way at all ;_____; babe like you're already THERE in the world working and to me like ,,,,,, being an effective functioning person in society is like all i ever want i just want to be COMPETENT and the fact that u manage ppl ???? it's already a lot of responsibility but you do it everyday like you go to work u make food for yourself u pay bills like yes this all kinda sucks but you're there doing it and idk ,,,,,,,, like u being in this position is like yeah their surviving in the world and doing okay !!!! so that’s how i see u hun ;_____;

and i don’t think i necessarily thrive under pressure but i just kinda ,,,,,,, handle it?? like i think i handle my stress quite well !!! i think the reason why making mistakes scares me so much in my field is bc if i make a mistake i can like, kill someone or seriously harm them if i do something wrong SLKDFJ but i have to remember i’m still just a student and a lot of the things that i’ll learn won’t even be in these last few months of nursing school, but rather during my months of orientation on the floor i’ll be working on when i finally land a job ,,,,,, i know i just have to be patient and kind to myself, but it’s hard not having these high expectations for myself bc everyone else pushes themselves super hard (nurses i mean) so i feel like i should be too , ya know? ;_____; it’s a hard balance that i’ve yet to find but hopefully once i graduate i’ll have just a little bit more confidence in myself :’)

and omg your grandparents lived a long life as well !!!!!!!! a lot of my friends’ grandparents are really young still, so it’s hard for others to relate i think LOL but :(((( i’m really lucky to have them around still and like, i feel like my grandparents are the cornerstone of our whole entire family; once they pass i’m not quite sure what will happen ;_____; so i’m just trying to cherish every moment that i have with them even tho sometimes it’s stressful lol ; also BOUT THE DIFFERENCES FROM EAST TO WEST COAST LOL ; i think u described it really well actually :) like among the friends u have the are from different parts of the states, it’s very accurate in my opinion !! and again after all it is just a very broad assumption, in general east coasters have this “workaholic” attitude, they tend to be very realistic which i actually appreciate a lot lol, i’m hoping to live near the east coast when i move out <3 now where i am from it is considered the midwest even tho it’s more east than west if u look at it on the map LMAO and like, it’s really funny bc if u say to someone you’re from the midwest they’ll tell u our reputation is being “too nice” LSKDLFJSKLD and like that’s our thing, a happy medium between coasts with big cities but small towns too and generally just very chill and nice ,,,,,,,, the south of the US is also known for having that “southern hospitality” overall very cheerful ppl with personality and super kind attitude on life :) now the west of the US i’m not saying there aren’t nice ppl out there bc there are LOL but esp near lost angeles or hollywood ofc you’re going to have ppl very stuck up bc ya know they made it to big bad LA and they want to be trendy with all of the fake health shit (celery juice does NOTHING FOR U sorry lol) generally my view of the west is just very fake and i would never want to have my family grow up there LMAO but that generally like, california and washington but like, utah or wyoming or colorado are just absolutely gorgeous and they have small town ppl there bc there are a lot of ranches there ,,,,,,,, does any of this make sense to u ??? KLASFJ 

i’m going to skip a few paragraphs bc this is so long already LMAO but trust me i’ve read everything so far lol ; it seems like you’re doing a lot of traveling !!!!!! <3 i’m so jealous !!!!!!!! italy sounds so beautiful i would love love to go some day :( ALSO U SMELLED THE BLUEBELL PERFUME RIGHT ???? U LIKED IT ?????? doesn’t it smell absolutely divine??? no matter how many scents i smelled after that i knew it was the right one for me ldkfsdlkfj <3 i’m still so in love with it ;____; also about ur lil rant about feeling lonesome :( bub i can really relate to this and i feel the same way like my mom and the rest of my family never pushed me to meet anyone and i’ve always never had a problem making friends, but like, as i’m older and i realize i’ll be alone a lot more of my time once i graduate like i really do want to share my life with someone :( i have a lot of love and i want to be able to show it to someone i care about a lot but i just never really take the initiative to do that bc quite honestly i’m not confident in myself lMAO so ,,,,,,, i know we never feel like we need to be dependent on someone but sharing experiences with someone who feels very strongly for u seems nice, doesn’t it? i wish this for both of us really soon okay?? <3 i tell my friends i would LOVE to be engaged right now lskdjfslfjs :’)

but anyways !!!!!!!! my mom and the rest of my family is doing well <3 and i’m doing okay too !!!!!! i don’t want to bore u with how clinicals are going but if u want me to tell u just let me know LOL and angel i know i say it all the time but always thank u so much for being patient with me okay? u are the absolute best !!!!!! also as promised, here are a few pics of my dorm room LOL it’s a shoebox but it’s my shoebox :) enjoy !!!!!! 

[veterveter]

Hey hey, it's gay bike anon again! I'm more than honoured to get my own tag!!! I definitely would like to keep talking to you <3 And only love for you too <3

I'll gladly wait for your response to my ask (or asks??? we'll see one day ehehehe)! I feel you, when people cite some of my text messages from a few months (or more) ago I'm often like "nope, nah-ah, that's not me, you're wrong". Same for older essays, I often can't believe I wrote those. And even with things I wrote late at night a few weeks ago, sometimes I'm like "I wrote that? That monstrosity??? Okay, I need more sleep before writing". (My capacity of writing in correct English grammar usually goes to sleep before I do, same goes for varied word choice). But sometimes I'll see this project I've worked on YEARS ago and exactly recognize the pieces I wrote? Since the ask would be fairly recent, I suppose I would recognise my writing style and word choice and since I didn't wrote it whilst sleep deprived (I hope??) I'm setting my chances of recognising it pretty high. But we'll see one day, the mystery will marinate for a while... [I am rereading this in the daytime, and this is EXACTLY what I meant, at night I make the weirdest word choices?? I’m definitely not changing it though because I might find it kinda funny]

I snorted so hard about the way you talked about your almost-name, I'm giggling here like crazy. Apparently my name means something alike 'dedicated to God', but my parents aren't really believers, so gotta love that. The meaning of my sibling's name is 'summer', but I'm the one born in the summer, whilst my sibling is born in autumn, oops. Guess my parents never checked one of those sites/ books where you can find the meaning of a name hahaha.

I love how my ask was so weird and chaotic that you sent a screenshot to a friend. I LOVE that she had no idea what was going on. Then again, I watched the semis (obviously hahaha) but I had no idea what was going on either... But honestly it was peak Dutch culture, water and bicycles, I would just add an ode to 'hagelslag' and voila, the entirety of Dutch culture summed up... [Also: if you don't know: 'hagelslag' is just sprinkles which we eat on bread, yes, on bread, we do not not only eat sprinkles as on cake or on donuts, like in any other country, no, we put it on bread. It's actually a really popular sandwich topping here. My ultimate favourites are the chocolate ones, but you also have them in several fruity flavours (like forest fruit) and anise flavour.] Thank you, perfect chaotic energy is an ultimate goal I strive towards *bows like I'm Victorian royalty or something*

You're absolutely right, it went EXACTLY like that. Specifically, I would be studying for my exams, explaining topics to myself like I always do, so I'd tell myself "The six possible origins of economies of scope are indivisibility, specialisation, marketing, research and development, GUESS WHAT.. SUBWAY DRIVER GANDÍA... ehhh... what was I doing again??" OR: "one of the most detailed and most used models of responsive regulation is Brathwaite's piramid. His enforcement piramid visually shows, nope not important, SUBWAY DRIVER GANDÍAAAAAA" And I'd laugh, continue explaining theories and calculations to myself until my focus started lessening again and my thoughts would wander off again. I am VERY glad I'm not the only one who thinks about it from time to time, and I'm glad you're not suing me for any mental harm yet.

Yess, those pictures I saw from Promising Young Woman look so beautiful and aesthetic!! I'll probably watch it somewhere after the 16th, because I'll most likely have finished my last exams by then. I'll tell you what I thought about it! Thank you SO SO SO much for all the luck wishes!!!! I had an exam last Friday and I absolutely rewarded myself, because it went better than I expected and I passed an earlier exam and a paper too! I didn't buy myself a tricorne (yet), but I did buy funko pops (my inner economist said it was 100% rational because it was a really good deal hahaha). I still have two exams to go, so I could always buy a tricorne for finishing either of those, OR. EVEN BETTER. I'll ask my parents (or my grandparents) for one for my birthday. I mean, that would be hilarious. They'd be so confused. They've never seen S3 and S4 of LCDP so they'll have no idea, even if I tried to explain it. It would be so incredibly funny (and really really weird for them), I am laughing like crazy just at the thought of it.

I've never been in Finland before, but those temperatures do not sound legal indeed. I have no knowledge of Finnish law, but maybe article 3 of the European Convention on Human Rights, the prohibition of torture, would work? If I was the judge I’d 100% agree, so we should all sue the weather sksksks. I'm glad to have brought you rain though (and that I apparently possess the power to do so - magic weather controlling pirate seems like a nice enough job to me)!!! I hope the temperature has become at least somewhat lower. You're right, climate change should just... stop... right away. The weather is pretty weird here, right now: one day it will be super sunny and (at least) around 27 degrees and almost melting away, and the other day it will be raining and I'll be wearing my warmest sweater. Like, why the extremes??

I love that I am able to make you lose your coherent thoughts (that's probably why we have one brain energy about Underwater, because I, too, have the ability to make myself lose my coherent thoughts). I'm glad for your faith in my impersonation of Martín. I even started Duolingo Spanish again, and now know the phrase, "Yo bebo leche" (I drink milk) which obviously would be very important to him. Now I'll just need an Argentinian accent to go with it. Leaning menacingly on a cane would be GREAT, I love the idea. I'll open job applications for a Denver. Maybe my cat could help me, she, much like Denver, is super loud and she is super aggressive towards other cats, so there is potential there. And guiding dogs and even tiny guiding horses exist, why not a guiding cat?

I always assumed I would follow a more... you know… legal... career path, maybe even literally a career in law. But, my accounting professor also showed us how to manipulate financial statements ("so you can notice when people are doing this", uh-huh sure, sure that’s why) and another professor of mine also said that a criminal career sometimes could be the more rational, rewarding choice over a legally acceptable career. So, I suppose I should not be surprised by this sudden change of career plans. I should have seen this coming. And what better way to be able to avoid the laws than by knowing exactly what they are and how far you can go. And if that plan doesn’t work out, the books of law I have (they’re combined in two huge hardcover bundles) are really heavy and you could probably harm someone with them if you hit hard enough… Well, I suppose you can even leave “hard” away, just by hitting someone softly with those books you can bring serious harm to them… Ah, and like that one professor would say: in this scenario it would be a rational choice to become a pirate instead of a privateer. Oh dear, not Arturito :/ Mutiny would seem like a good option, I’ll take over the ship and become Palermo the Pirate. Sounds much and much better than “Arturo the Pirate”, since that isn’t an alliteration, sooo mutiny is reasonable even for that reason. And then there’s the fact that it’s Arturo, I mean, that says enough.

YOU LOVE UNDERWATER TOO????!!!! I completely forgot that you posted that! It seems we do indeed already have one shared braincell energy my friend <3

Last week has been pretty good (except for having to make a test at 9:30, what a godless time, I’m usually barely awake by then ehehehe), I think I aced the test I had, got back some good grades and finally got my first Covid vaccination (and only shortly slight dizziness as a side effect, so that's pretty great). And thanks so much!!! For now I’m safe from Gandía, but somewhere in mid-July I’ll have to take an exam on campus, so I’ll might be able to bring out my inner Palermo then.

How was your week? If the weather is still unkind to you (well, also if the weather *is* kind to you), treat yourself to your favourite ice cream and a break every now and then <3 Do you already have holidays or hasn’t your academical year ended yet?

You’re also right - this is conversation and we’re friends now <3 And I absolutely do like cookies! I would say my favourites are american cookies (though stroopwafels are reaally good as well) but honestly there are only a few kinds of cookies that I don’t love that much. And anything with chocolate in it is GREAT. I do also love apples and bananas, though grapes (which I just had) are even better! What’s your favourite kind of cookie?

Also, I know I have been giving you so many prompts already, but I saw this one in that list you reblogged and it gave me so much Berlermo energy: you live in an apartment with your best friend. the two of you always fall asleep in each other's arms, but one day, your friend isn't there. they've fallen in love with someone else. it's your other best friend, who recently moved in with you. and that's when you realize, that those nights you spent together, weren't so platonic after all. I would love it if you’d write it, but if you decide not to that’s absolutely fine too, no worries <3

By the way, I was going to post this quite a bit earlier, but my laptop (unlike me) decided yesterday night, when I was finishing writing this, that it was time to sleep, so I had to quickly dump this whole rant in Google Docs (it’s almost two and a half pages what the heck) and I was busy all day so I only was able to upload it just now. I swear I can ractually espond faster than after a week :) Have a lovely evening, much love from the gay bike country <3

Heeeeeeey you are back!!! How happy am I to see my favouritest gay bike anon return to my inbox!!! 💕 [Author's note: You can tell I started this reply right away because you've sent me three or four asks since this one and one can tell you are indeed back hahaha]

Yeeeeeees this is how one makes friends!! You know, I was just thinking the other night of how "gay bike anon" shortens to GBA, like the Game Boy Advance, you know. Make of that what you will, but it pleases me to know that you can also have a cute nickname for your cute nickname. Nicknameception.

Yes, exactly that, "I did not write that, and if I did in fact write that.. No I did not." Also, "the mystery will marinate"??? That's an amazing word choice and some day I will absolutely use it for something, just you wait. I think it just goes to show that you should write everything while tired, haha.

Haha I love that naming convention for you. It may make very little sense, but....... but. Also, happy birthday for whenever it is, presumably in the nearby past or future!! Lots of love!! You're the summer child while your sibling is... a summer child, but like, different.

Since you appreciated my almost-name story, I'll reward you with the rest of it: so my name is Tuuli, which is Finnish for "wind". My mum originally wanted to name me Pilvi, which means "cloud". And then she was like oh no this child is not at all serene and cloud-like??? and thus, a new me. I'm glad she had second thoughts, although I wonder if having such an ill-fittingly chill name would've done anything to alter my personality? Nomen est omen and all. There's some kind of an alternate universe where all of that played out, but I'm glad it's not this one.

Yeah either you watched the semis and have no idea, or you didn't watch them and have no idea. There is no way to get what was going on there, I'm certain they themselves also didn't get it. I had no idea about hagelslag but thjipgnhefjpihjo that's amazing, I love that for you!!!! There was absolutely no reason to go there but you as a country just... did that. Amazing. Please have some and report to me so I can live through you. And also, you are absolutely legit Victorian royalty [or something] *bows in return*. Also, I do love how you say "I watched the semis (obviously)." Imagine if you didn't and this entire time I was tragically misinterpreting the nature and intentions of your ask and you were just rolling with it because you've no idea what I'm on about but are also too polite to tell me that. Khhhhhhh

Your brain has priorities!!!! And they're honestly beautiful. Well done, brain. Subway driver Gandíaaaaaaaaaa~~~ My brain is filled with Berlermo quotes that come @ me at random times during the day and leave me just a tad shell-shocked, remembering how it all went down. I'm eating my morning yoghurt and my brain goes yo te propuse fundir oro juntos, and I'm just there like :)))))) Real nice, brain.

Have you had the opportunity to see Promising Young Woman yet? Hhhhh it's so pretty, every time I work on this reply [it's a lot of times, okay, I'm very diligent about this, I stare at this ask and craft snazzy replies in my head all the time, that's why I'm so slow in... actually replying] I'm reminded of that. I'm not a very visual person but the colours and the framing... that was really nice.

I am somewhat glad you've not been to Finland yet, you must hit me up when you come visit, I'll take you for coffee!!! It's actually cooler now (bless!!!!!!!!!!!), the last... four days have been reasonable 14-20 degrees, after four consequtive weeks of 25+. Kkhhhh thinking back to it makes me feel a little ill, but now beret weather is back. I own a lot of berets, dear gay bike anon. I'm going to my university city for the weekend and I'm already wondering which beret(s) I should bring with me. This is an important decision with potential long-lasting consequences. I don't know if you've played any of Telltale's games (The Wolf Among Us and the first two seasons of The Walking Dead are the best ones, fight me), but when you make a decision and the game goes "This character will remember that." and you instantly go oh no what have I done??? That's how I feel about choosing the perfect beret for my city outing. But yes, weather extremes are just the worst. We've been having the longest drought I've ever seen here (it's still not properly rained, for the record, on Tuesday it rained for an hour or so) while in other places there's awful flooding. That's awful.

Ahhh I'm so happy you're continuing your Spanish-learning!! I took a beginner's course at uni in the spring semester, I'm going to take the next one when uni resumes in September. And yes, I'm studying it for LCDP. I mean I love languages in general, but I never had a particular need to study Spanish, until this year I suddenly did. I'm also Duolingo-ing it! Very slowly and steadily. Also, I adore the idea of your cat being your Denver. What's your cat's name??? What do they look like?? Tell me everything, you can't just leave it at my cat, you simply must allow me to meet them. Also, you know why guide cats aren't a thing? Because cats are the worst. I love cats, but you can't just teach them to do useful things. They'll do them if they want to. As I type this, my cat is trying to catch flies at my feet. Her name is Muusa.

I studied accounting for my undergrad!! So I can join you in [[[preventing]]] tax fraud and [[[recognising]]] tampering with financial statements. We can make a totally legitimate business out of it. No but truly, I'm certain we were taught some of those things with the expectation that our future employers would expect it of us. Capitalism is so fun :)))))) And you shouldn't be surprised, academia is but a stepping stone to crime, honestly. Any dark academia book will tell you this. You start out learning Latin and wearing turtlenecks, you end up with murder. That's just how academia works. And you seem to have already chosen your weapon... you're well on your way. :) Palermo the Pirate sounds great!!! I support your mutiny. I don't think I said, but this is my favourite word of the English language. Mutiny. Mutiny????? It doesn't sound very serious. It sounds cute, actually. I love it.

I'm so happy to hear you got your covid vaccine!!!! I had mine a month ago or so - I typed you a reply to the subway Gandía thing on the train ride back, actually. I was really stressed about getting it on my right arm, because I'm left-handed, and last time I got a vaccination (like a decade ago) they insisted on giving it on my left arm and I was sad :( But this time!! I got it on my chosen arm and was very pleased. So anyway, that was a segue. I'm glad you got your covid shot and were side effect -free!!!

My week has been good, thank you!! I went to my uni city for my niece's birthday on Monday, and as said I'm going back on Friday (tomorrow). So this time in between has felt like exactly that, time in between. I started reading Call Me By Your Name. I had my Korean class last night. Now I'm hanging out with my cat (she has stopped chasing flies and climbed to my lap) and talking to you. My holidays started already in May! And uni resumes in the beginning of September, but I'm a tutor for new students so I need to show up three weeks earlier for the orientation weeks. Yes, we do three weeks of orientation (read: three weeks of drinking). It's a bit insane.

Now I need to ask you again how your week has been, since I'm so slow. How has your week been?? Are you free from your exams?? When does your uni resume?

Stroopwafels are so good ahhh I'll have to buy them when and or if I see them. Possibly when I'm in central Europe but haha I can hope to be lucky and see them at a store with imported stuff, you know. My favourite cookies??? Omg maybe these ones - they have this truffle filling, and they're fun to eat (this is important in cookies, you see):

And of course they're Fazer. Because Finnish people have only one setting, apparently. Or maybe that's just me. But all cookies are great, honestly. I like making American cookies, that's always a fun pastime (and you get to have cookie dough, that's like half the fun). I've actually not made them for a lifetime??? Maybe I should, soon. I'll keep you updated. Also, brookies. I love making brookies, they're great.

I really really appreciate being given prompts, I hope you know that!! Thank you!! Consider me pocketing this prompt and maybe eventually some day theoretically getting back to you about it!! You're right - it has Berlermo energy. Insofar as either of them actually have other friends. :)

Thank you for this kind message, dear gay bike anon <3 I'd apologise for my slowness in replying but I think I'd rather you just assume that I'll get back to you, and thank you for your patience <3 Your kind and funny and chaotic asks always brighten my day. I hope you'll have a great rest of the week and just... all the nice and fun and good things and great vibes in life. All the best, dear gay bike anon <3 Take care!! And greetings from Muusa as well - she just yawned and I presume that means "greetings".

[clumsyclifford]

hi hi 💕 actually idk if you recall but loveless is the book i send you a picture of before (with the texts that sounded like you) & of course i'll always happily rec books 🙈

hgdjskldsksdkdhsjld i love that you roughly plan your procrastination tactics 😅 whenever you do get around to watch fatws let me know your thoughts i'm very interested! very understandable though i've barely managed to watch a show in the past 2 years (except for the ones i watch with my parents) bc i can't be arsed to sit down and focus/get invested but sitcoms aren't really my cup of tea so no tv shows for me 😔

okii understandable! oooh so what you're saying is that ainslee has impeccable taste 👀 i have to go bother her about this song

mhhh it does not sound ideal in the baseball world rn but i'm sending you and your team(s) all the good vibes and i'm keeping my fingers crossed for you guys too!! how long does baseball season go on btw?

driving is literally one of the best things ever i love it so much 😊

also i'm stoked for you and your plans!! (the ones with sam) it sounds amazing!!

also i'm late to respond to this but did you manage everything with your exams? and i so feel you about the only being able to stress about one thing at a time actually! i like physically can't handle when there are two very stressful things going on i'll stop functioning completely

from what i've seen you're doing well today but i'm sending you many good vibes anyway bc they can't hurt yk i love you! -fiancee

oh NICE it is on the mental bookshelf.............no promises if/when i’ll get round to reading it (especially considering i don’t own it) but i have it in mind!! so thank you :)

will do!!! to be fair i don’t really plan procrastination, it just happens to me. would you believe i am procrastinating hard RIGHT now as we speak. i was supposed to start studying for my stats final half an hour ago. so. yeah. but point being if/when i watch tfatws (this is a lot of if/whens lol sorry) i will let you know what i think

the funny thing about my and ainslee’s taste in music is like. we overlap BARELY. like two and a half artists and about ten songs ldkjskdmgj but like yeah man go bother her she’d be stoked

WELL, the nats won yesterday!!! AND i got to watch the GAME on the TV with my DAD while i had TEA ugh sometimes being home is so good. love it here, literally. and we’re playing the cubs next which means no terrible loss if we lose because i don’t despise the cubs. and after THAT we’re playing the ORIOLES and i’m going to the game on friday!!! SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! life’s great!!!!!! and to answer your question, baseball season goes until october

yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh got to do the whole drive from college back home and it was like mmmmmmmmmmm i missed this :))) love this life

YES!! I’M SO EXCITED!!! can’t talk about it i will vibrate right out of my chair oh man

hahahhahfdh well as previously mentioned i am not done with my exams yet. i have three finals (two exams and one paper) and i did one of the exams today. so tomorrow i have stats exam, and then my final paper is due on thursday. i am deeply stressed for the stats exam, and my paper is going........slightly better now than it was this time yesterday, but definitely not as well as i had hoped it would be by now. like i really didn’t wanna just leave the paper for the very last two days i could write it, but that’s essentially what i’ve done (unless i write any of it today ! but. doubt it. lol). so short answer, fine but not super great. and i will always accept good vibes, thank you love!!!