#i'm so fucking saddd i can't even get it all into words

[datastate]

kai just makes my heart hurt so much TT_TT not just for the whole tragedy that is 'growing up under asunaro's ruling' but more so the ways in which he reclaimed life for himself. he always regarded life highly enough such that he found killing or otherwise manipulating it to be cruelty, but he never found himself a personal connection to it until the chidouins - where even then, he was so accustomed to asunaro's appearances (with ulterior motives) and his own self-loathing (though he'd done it to survive) that he couldn't imagine the affection they put forth as genuine. but as he began to recognize that and question why they thought of him this way, he found parts of himself that cared and still starved for connection and purpose. for those first few months/year, being cast out of asunaro was worse punishment than being executed because he was not only witness to normal lives while he felt aimless and isolated from the constants he once had, but these people trusted him and he knew he would be ordered to betray them when the time came. but as years passed, he began to feel more comfortable with them. it was easier to slip into that front built from what good they had identified in him, and it. began to feel less as if he was forcing it... he genuinely began to care about them and it was evident in how he went out of his way to help them or comfort them - even if he didn't have all the words, he could listen. he found small passions and hobbies and creative endeavors which he no longer had to justify with practical reasons to indulge. he began to realize who he is and although he grieved the fact he was never given the chance to truly have a life of normalcy, this is the closest he will ever get and he can cherish it on most days. he knows he'll trade it all if it meant protecting the chidouins, shielding them from the darkness that asunaro carries, but as it is... he began to recover.

[doyouknowwhoyouare13]

Nyx reads All The Bright Places

Don't read it if you don't want, yknow yknow

Once again gonna be reading a lot at school so 😭

ANYWAYS

SPOILERS!!!

ok first of all this is already so cute

the post it at the beginning

shit sorry this has nothing to do with the book but the guitar in In Bloom just scared the living daylights out of me good lord

anyways

back to the book

also the cover is really cute!!!

first chapter is Finch!!

oh god what a first sentence

oh bud I don't think that's very healthy

BRO IT'S THE FIRST PAGE

wait so he just

does he like forget or does he go into like a coma?

buddy maybe like get down?

just a thought yknow

I censor myself too it's ok

FINCH BRO SHE 💀

OMG I LOVE THIS GUY

HE'S SO

IDK BUT I LOVE HIM

oh god don't do this already

look at them saving each other!!!

if you're best known as dumbass I don't think you have the right to tell ANYONE ANYTHING

BECAUSE I'VE GOT A DATE WITH YOUR MOTHER 💀

Bro I don't think you guys realize how much I already love this man

VIOLET 💀

I'm gonna be honest you guys, did not read much at school but like it's fine

I'm on page 58

and have lost track of chapters so I'll be going by names now!

this is finch

in the middle of it though

I LOVE HIM OMG

OR WE CAN MAKE OUT 💀

he's sweet

so

I did have notes

LOTS of them

sure most of them were about my cuteness aggression towards Finch

but they were there

and then tumblr did this weird glitch

so they're gone

but anyways

I'm on page 150

I am in love with theodore finch

and I really want to bite him!!!

his accents are so cute and the way he walks her to her classes is

IF HE WANTED TO HE WOULD ALRIGHT

anyways

I'm at the beginning of a violet chapter

omg I'm actually so mad those notes were deleted I'm gonna

broooo

he tries not to sleep

still don't fully understand why

omg I love them

OMGGGG

I agree lovely IS a lovely word

uh oh out of romance tabs

I improvised

Violet is so relatable

I love both of them sm you have no idea

omg :(((

is his first name like actually josh raymond or is that his middle name too

I fucking hate their dad.

oh fuck I don't like this

HELP FINCH

uh oh

omg I fucking

omg

my words shoot to kill when I'm mad 🥰 even with fictional characters

oh that's so sad :(

I am very quickly running out of tabs

Norman Fucking Rockwell!

ivy!!!

oh :(((( my :((((((( god :((((((((((((

decca :(((

oh :(((

omg I'm gonna cry

I'M CRYING I'M CRYING I'M CRYING

I WANT TO GIVE THEM HUGSSSSS :((((((

I read a lot at school

now on page 248

I can tell

I can tell he might die :((

I'm gonna cryyyy

they're so cute and they don't deserve what happened to them :(((

his dad is a bitch and I hate him

and when Violet got scared that Theo might've drowned :(((

she's the only reason he's still here I'm scared :(((

AND HE KEEPS SAYING HE'S MOST AFRAID OF HIMSELF I'M CRYING

omgggggggggggg

middle of violet chapter

he made her like Before :(

and he's :((((

OMGGG

good we don't like amanda here

yeah I don't like how it sounds either

this is so

omg

anyways another Violet chapter

I'm so scared you guys have no idea I don't want him to die

finch :((

poor decca

he makes me so sad bro

oh :((

I love him sm

I love these old people too

I just love them all omg I can't 😭

another finch chapter I'm not adding a divider

he gonna fall asleep :((

awww

Finch :(

he :((((((

Roamer deserves it

Violet

EXPELLED?

WHAT

I'm not adding a divider

finch

66 DAYS ALREADY???

he's killing me bro like actually

THIS IS SO SADDD

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

NO NO NO NO NO

omg

stressing me tf out holy shit

this kid is

another chapter

still Finch

HE'S IGNORING HER?

why is he introducing himself as

AMANDA???

omg

violetttt

omg she's gonna drive again

STOPPP I'M SO SCARED BRO

this kid needs to stop pretending everything is fine

this is gonna make me cry

still Finch

omg stop

oh shit it's just

no

no

no

istg

if he

you guys don't understand

I am ATTACHED to this man

omg he good

good

for now

they're so cute.

I love them.

they're killing me

oh they're arguing

oh no

where the hell is he

FINCH

THANK GOD

please do not

do. not.

THEODORE FINCH ISTG.

why is it just a violet.

wait

why is it

what

no

he didn't

Finch

don't

did he

NOOO

NO YOU'RE STILL ULTRAVIOLET

STOP.

STOP. IT.

omg I'm gonna.

still vi

stop. it.

I can't see bro I'm crying

wth is he doing.

"for when he comes back." because he will. HE WILL.

DON'T SAY IF, HE. WILL.

omfg.

no I don't think so

just a little deeper

he's there.

yeppp.

stop it.

istfg.

STOPPP

no he's fucking right that woman doesn't have the right to ignore her fucking child being missing for MONTHS.

his dad has no fucking right either. no right.

none of them have the right. this is actually pissing me off.

STOP OMFG.

this is so heartbreaking :((((

I mean I knew it was coming but I just

STOPPPPPPPPPP

I CAN'T

they have no fucking right. THEY HAVE NO FUCKING RIGHT.

VIOLET YOU'RE MAKING ME CRYYY

bro

this is fucking

you guys

I'm dying rn

ok here we go

omg I'm like ugly crying bro

stop it.

this is so

bro

I'm going to fucking

omg

I hate myself bro

omfg the fucking rock bro

you guys.

ok. I'm done.

A rollercoaster.

Going to be thinking about this one for a bit.

Holy fucking shit.

I'm just so fucking sad now bro

I just can't

he :(((

poot babies

they both didn't deserve the cards they were dealt :(((

I just :(((