#i'm queueing for a year today and i hope i am at peace | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

flamingplay · 3 months

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Anyway, a post that I was postponing for weeks. Now I see why thanks to today's incident

Never have I ever felt so fucking embarrassed and such a phony considering that I publicly hyped up being in a video but thankfully only on one social media. That wasn't me in a video but obviously I was there so any distant pixel from the drone shot of the video is me somewhere.

Good that I didn't eventually post anything about the concert days I'm more than sure now that 99% if not 100% of what I took as interaction with me could've been literally anyone in the crowd. There were fucking 70000 people each day in the crowd, so obviously I shouldn't be a delusional idiot.

The facts are:

- I went to meet Coldplay's bassist Guy Berryman at his clothing brand's pop up event. Everything that I told about it sounded like a fanfic to people then I assume my brain played a bad role in it and mistook probably everything. I didn't have anyone I know together with me to confirm that or deny. I'm sending huge thanks to H and Laura who let me know that meeting Guy is possible and where and gave me lots of support. I had an anxiety attack and was near the exit, supporting words from my 2 friends made me change my fucked up mind. But in the end the only real fact is I have a photo with Guy. I feel that I shouldn't have mentioned some things to him.

- I met an iconic coldplayer Stephie. I absolutely loved seeing her and I was very hyped about that. She's a very nice person and I honestly miss her presence and felt that when I was at the square when I first met her several days ago.

- I was at ColdplayXtra meetup and saw Coldplay's manager Phil Harvey. I was all dressed up as my delulu hoped for meeting Jon any minute of that day so I was also carrying guitar strap that I fully designed and painted and embroidered for Jon and a bracelet that my Ukrainian acquaintance made. I held up Phil at the very end when he was near the exit and asked him to pass the presents. That was an extremely short moment. I heard a new song that came out weeks later and was happy about strings in it and upset about Jon being muted. We were told that it wasn't a final version so I was happy nevertheless.

- I was at 2 sold out gigs one of which was phenomenal and featured Don't Panic with Chris making Jon sing his line twice, Politik, My Love (to be out in September) and Charlie Brown instead of Humankind.

- I met a lighting director Shaheem and I was among the gathered bunch of fans who took a setlist from him and a souvenir guitar plec. He was the sweetest and most adorable person ever. We've got a photo together. The rest I'm not sure about, can be my brain coming up with the reaction etc. I was euphoric before meeting Shaheem as I more than certainly mistook Jon's attention being towards me, it could've been anyone getting smiles, nods, laughs from him and the girl that confirmed that could've been wrong too. Afterall there were 70000 people and I ain't special there, so don't be a fucking idiot N.

- I was at the music video filming the next day after that which was open for anyone who saw the social media post about filming at 7 am of the same day in Greek. I was in fact there, as one of the Ukrainian students was there too and Stephie was there and we talked while queueing. I have a special bracelet from filming and cereal bars and love button, so don't think I stole that from anyone and came up with this being my real experience. Jon there smiled at someone and showed a peace sign. I shouldn't take this towards me either, would be too good to be true. Either way someone would say be happy you were there at all and had concerts once in 15 years of waiting for that to happen.

- the music video for feelslikeimfallinginlove is wonderful, their most accessible and I sincerely love it

- if not Stephie absolutely none of the concerts and music video filming would've happened. I was a loser who got 0 tickets on all types of sales. Also thanks to Lauren I had money to pay back for one of the tickets. If not Stephie I'd probably just stay at home on Friday too as I knew no one personally.

- I've got a "Jonny says THANK YOU 💙" tweet without even tagging the band. I posted about my presents publicly out of feeling enormously hurt that I had some certain hope given of meeting the band backstage and eventually I wasn't the chosen one. I saw a tweet of some person meeting the band and was crying in a queue. And only such phony as me would decide to post out about the presents out of feeling deeply hurt by something that wasn't promised and that was too much of a privilege for small idiot like me.

#personal #I need to publicly admit once again that Im a fucking delusional idiot

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thestormlionessmemes · 6 years

Conversation

Mary Queen of Scots 2013

Tomorrow there will no longer be two queens in ___.

I find I bear you no grudge.

I know you are as powerless to change your role, as I have been to change mine.

l am frightened, Your Majesty.

Don't be.

I thank you for staying with me.

I'm not going to let them take you.

I will protect you.

For you must be allowed to have your own life.

You will be the queen, they never let me be.

When I think back ___ years ago in ___, I realize neither of us had an easy start in life.

I could barely move my tiny hands, yet politics was already clawing at my unsuspecting soul.

Pay attention, give me your hand.

Hold your dress.

Concentrate, keep your head up, look straight ahead.

Mine was not' a very settled upbringing.

As you must know your father was so determined I should marry his sickly son he sent troops to ransack my country.

Many ___ lost their lives in my rough wooing as an infant queen.

When I was being carted from one stronghold to another, sometimes I couldn't tell whether what I was seeing was real or a nightmare.

Farewell, my child, and may God grant you safe passage to a more peaceful land.

They will protect you.

You are feverish again.

That's good, my dear, the fever will take away your fear!

The only way my mother could protect me was to dispatch me overseas.

Overnight' my destiny changed.

Packed off like precious merchandise to spend a lifetime with another mysterious bridegroom.

It's lucky for you I took that' boat'.

If I'd have stayed, you wouldn't be sitting on the ___ throne today.

What is your name?

But which one is the Queen?

I can kill just by moving my finger.

Come back.

Come and look!

She is dead.

She is Queen now...

l am the Queen.

That's impossible.

You should have said so right away.

And there you will stay.

Why do you laugh?

I thought we were cousins.

I will reply to her immediately.

We will be the best sisters in the world.

I shall send her my portrait.

Better yet, let me go and meet her in person.

We understand each other, she and I.

We are like twins.

You cannot address her as Queen.

That woman is a bastard.

Have you forgotten what the ___ have done to your country?

They burned and destroyed it.

It is frightful to think that I was the cause of a war.

Do not succumb to your womanly instincts and kindness, do not let them cloud your reason.

There can be no dialogue with that... that pretender to the Throne.

When she dies, you shall be the ___ Queen.

Why should she die?

You and you alone can restore the true faith in that blasphemous land.

Carrying three crowns is a grave responsibility, but impossible as long as that illegitimate heretic is alive.

She has to go.

I will not crush her, I will win her over.

A delightful conundrum.

But not everyone here approves of me consorting with a foreign power.

I have been advised that my claim for the ___ crown is based on legitimate descent.

Accordingly, I am having the ___ coat of arms added to my royal portraits.

You need not' fear for your person.

I have no wish to disturb you.

But if you do ever respond to me, you should address me as Queen of ___, ___ and ___.

What an enchanting voice.

You are charming.

You make me tremble.

Come up and join us.

That hurts.

Tomorrow I will join the hunt.

Isn't it a little too early?

I feel strong again.

For the first time this year, I will lead the hunt.

I am confident that I still have a life to discover.

You of all people will appreciate that once born a queen, one must be a master of one 's own destiny.

If I can no longer be Queen of ___, I am still and will remain Queen of ___.

Let us sing our song.

It's so cold here and my subjects seem to hate their Queen.

That is because your subjects don't know their Queen yet and the Queen has to get used to sharper blades.

How does my cousin do it?

You cannot simply behead everyone who contradicts you!

I could throw ___ into the dungeons, but that would merely make matters worse.

Tolerance can easily be misinterpreted, Your Majesty.

At least you're beautiful.

She is really ugly, they say.

Even if they do write erotic sonnets about her...

No wonder! She has no husband, but countless lovers!

And she's seven inches shorter than you are.

And look at my bump.

Mine is worse.

Come closer.

My heart and my pride have just been stabbed by this rabble-rouser.

I'm frightened, dear cousin.

Why do men of god seem so afraid of women?

___ and ___ living in peace, guided by the example of our sisterly unify.

Oh, I wish I'd seen her face to face.

Believe me, she is as curious about you as you are about her.

Does she really bathe in warm milk?

Is it true she has bad breath?

They say she beats her lovers.

Off you go, ladies, we wish to discuss political matters.

I promise to divulge more gossip later.

Could you perhaps suggest the prospect of a meeting between the two Queens?

She extends to you any help you may need in making preparations for a future match.

I wonder who she will recommend to be my husband.

What of her empty matrimonial bed, your Majesty?

At least, you know what it's like to be married.

I'm delighted to hear you are interested in the possibility of me marrying again.

I 'm rather excited at the prospect of receiving a queue of young suitors.

Alas, I seem to lack the good fortune to meet any man capable of stirring my blood or touching my heart.

Have I not the right to choose whoever I want.

I, too, shall be free, free to stand by my own choices.

I must confess I'm not completely satisfied with my new husband.

I'm worried about his extreme views.

Likewise I hope I can count on you to disarm my treacherous lords and stifle their fanatical plots against me.

The heir to both of our kingdoms is growing safely within me.

Above all, it will heal this country's wounds.

Mama will do everything.

l am a prisoner now.

The child of this traitor is growing within me

and I do not know how to bring it to safety.

How will I know when I'm really in labour?

How can I possibly maintain a pose as serene and confident as you, when inside I feel like screaming?

You cannot know what it feels like to be a mother surrounded by vipers.

Maybe you are right' never to marry.

You can be absolutely certain that the future King will be in good hands.

In my end will be my beginning.

I have a healthy son and a secure future.

I'm besieged by a new force that I do not know how to meet.

Should I surrender or should I resist?

Can I count on my ancestors?

I have found something I never dared hope for.

I know everyone will turn against me and condemn me.

Don't call it sin.

It is true I conceived a child with my husband.

I've always had to make my own decisions and act on my own instincts.

I've been waiting all my life for a man like you.

For him I have risked dignity and conscience, for his sake I have come to regard my friends as less than nothing. For his sake I would fain

renounce the world, I would gladly die that he might rise.

It pleases me to see my husband suffer.

His very being has repelled me for so long now. But how can a wife get rid of a husband?

Careful - the people want to punish you for what you've done.

Some deeds are done by doing nothing.

I'm pregnant.

I know you must resent my sudden marriage, but surely you will appreciate that a pregnant queen must be married to the father of her child.

You cannot imagine the anger and desperation I feel to have my new husband blamed for the murder of my previous one, but I can declare that we are innocent a hundred times and there will still be slanderous voices condemning us.

To fight them would be madness, Your Majesty.

I have no wish to fight them.

They must submit to the Royal Lion and there will be peace again in ___.

There will be no single combat, no negotiations, only surrender.

You must send him away. You have no other option.

I lose count of the springs and the winters.

Has she killed me already?

I am actually more alive than she is.

She can do it! She can chop off the crown.

But she is the crowned sovereign now, and I am just a poor woman, without a crown, a country.

I can't bear it any longer I wish she would kill me.

Two great Queens, caught in a deadly stalemate. In an endless purgatory.

No way out, until one of you fades away.

This could go on forever.

Please don't leave me alone!

Don't hesitate to do what has to be done.

I would only be too pleased to get out of this bed and face your headsman.

And when that secret moment finally comes, will you then have the courage to face me?

With or without you by my side, I long for a new, for the chance to return to my beginning.

Oh, my dear ___, I would be deeply grateful for a sharp ace.

#rp meme #history sentence meme #period drama meme

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