#i'm not sure why such visceral reactions when he was never like this when it was titán in vico's place but i love it

[siesporamor]

I greatly enjoy the aneurysms Luca gets every time he sees Vico in the general proximity of Clara or Roxy.

[cassiebones]

I don't think Agatha willingly gave up her son and here's why:

Her reaction to the Darkhold in the cradle was visceral, okay? I just reblogged the post that even says that's not the reaction of a woman who willingly gives up her child. So I don't think she did.

What I think is that Nicholas got sick. Like really, really sick. So sick that there was no way he was going to get better. Maybe Rio was warning her about it. Maybe Rio was trying to set the expectation that hey, Nicholas isn't going to get better, you should prepare yourself for that, but Agatha ignored it. Agatha figured that she's in a relationship with Death, herself, so there's no way that her son is going to die and be taken away from her. But Rio keeps reminding her "I don't want to do this, but it's my job. I can't chose not to."

And Agatha gets desperate. As she's watching her baby boy get sicker and weaker. I'm not totally sure how old he was when he died. I'm imagining him as a baby or toddler. A size that Agatha can still hold in her arms. Maybe he won't eat anymore and it worries her. And she knows that the only way to make him better, the only chance at keeping her son, is by getting her hands on the Darkhold. Dark magic is the only thing that can keep him with her, alive.

Rio, obviously, advises against this. Dark magic is trouble and Agatha will not be the same if she does this. Agatha ignores her. She makes a coven and forces Rio down The Road with her, begging her to help save her son. Rio, loving Agatha so deeply, agrees, and they set off down the Witches' Road.

The other three witches obviously don't make it, as we know. The other witch who survives (of course bc she cannot die) is Rio. Agatha acquires the Darkhold and rushes back to her son's side.

But she's too late. Nicholas is gone. He died while she was on the road. He was alone in his last moments, probably in his bassinet. Agatha missed it in her ambition to get her hands on the Darkhold. She probably will never forgive herself for it.

Rio felt the second he died, but probably didn't tell Agatha because there was nothing they could have done at that point.

Agatha is resolute, though. She starts looking for a resurrection spell for Nicholas, which Rio panics about because that is not what Agatha wants, she tells her. Nicholas won't come back right. He will never truly be alive. He will be a corpse, reanimated. His soul is already departing.

"Not if you don't let it," Agatha says, because Rio is in charge of reaping the souls, of ferrying them to the afterlife. She's Death, after all.

"It doesn't work like that," Rio says, softly and apologetically, reaching out to stroke Agatha's cheek. Agatha slaps her hand away and continues to frantically search through the book, but Rio can't let this happen. Nicholas would never be right. He wouldn't be the boy Agatha--that both of them love. Never again.

So she reaps his soul, takes it away before Agatha can start her spell. Agatha begs her to stop, to let her have her son, to not do this please.

"If you love me, you won't take him away from me," she says, desperate and angry and so, so hurt.

Rio doesn't look back. She's holding Nicholas's soul in her arms, cradling him because he's 100% her son, too. Her baby. She holds him more tightly.

"I'm doing this because I love you," she says, without looking back. She keeps walking while Agatha wails behind her, Rio fighting back tears as she listens to her wife's heart break.

Rio tries to return after reaping her son's soul, wants to apologize and beg at Agatha's feet for forgiveness...but she's not there.

Before, Rio could have found Agatha anywhere. She always knew where she was, like a homing beacon on her heart. But now Agatha is just...gone. The home they once shared together is completely empty, not a soul or piece of furniture in side. Except for Nicholas's bassinet, empty. She can't feel Agatha anymore. She doesn't know if she's alive or dead, but she's pretty sure she knows why.

The Darkhold. Agatha used a spell in the Darkhold to shroud herself from Death, to keep Rio from finding her again. Grief echoes in Rio's heart at the loss of the two most important people in her life. Then anger begins to burn low in her stomach.

Anger at her job. Anger at the Darkhold. Anger at Agatha. Murderous rage takes root in her chest, where her heart used to beat for Agatha Harkness and their son. Both are gone now.

But she will find Agatha. One day. And she is going to kill her...or make her wish she were dead. Either will suffice at this point.

[lovelyhan]

— 505 ⟢

i'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck; or i did, last time i checked.

★ FEATURING; joshua x afab!reader

★ WORD COUNT; 3.4k words

★ TAGS; coworkers au, friends with benefits, typical gentleman in the streets sexual deviant in the sheets joshua, a hint of pining if you squint, slight angst?, smut (MINORS DNI)

★ NOTES; this specific picture of shua is years old but it incited the most visceral reaction out of me anyway so here we are with another short oneshot that sidetracked me from the monster that i'm SUPPOSED to be writing :| this also turned out a bit more emotional(?) than i originally intended, so heads up on that i guess

★ SMUT TAGS; unprotected sex, shower sex, oral (f receiving), choking, slight dumbification (i'm sorry, i normally have more dignity than this but i miss him so so dearly)

★ PERMANENT TAGLIST; @cheolhub - @pretty-trustme - @just-here-to-read-01 - @idkmelkro - @dejavernon - @venusrae - @jyiiscool - @jiniesclub - @junhui-recs - @bldelaine - @featmia - @fruitzcup - @hoeforhao - @candidupped - @billboard-singer - @caratochan - @novalpha - @dahliatopia - @0717luv - @shiveringgaze - @toruro - @mixling-blog - @minnie-mouser22 - @homerunhansol - @mirtaspace - @ti-red - @zzucculent - @woozarts - @rubyreduji - @mozellerra - @lllucere - @cheolzip - @jjjzzzz - @lissiesykes - @jeonride - @meowmeowminnie - @colored-confetti - @partiallyinfluencial - @speaknowlwt - @flwrshwa - @lilylikesthat - @aurorahongg - @whippedforjihoon - @todorokiskitten - @immabecreepin

★ JOSHUA TAGLIST; @yoonzinoooo - @scandal-in-bohemia - @lunaryoongie

Joshua arrives five minutes after the first clap of thunder and ten minutes after the rain started pouring outside.

You hear him before you see him. The automatic lock of the hotel room turns as he scans the spare keycard from outside — one that you made sure to leave with the receptionist in the lobby when he told you he'll be running a little late. When the door swings open, light spills from outside and he greets you with a smile that makes his eyes crinkle and your heart stutter.

It's the same look that makes your female coworkers swoon and giggle to themselves in the office pantry — talk about Joshua's adorable eye smile never straying too far from your ears.

If they knew what kind of person he was past the usual pleasantries, would they still engage in that kind of fanfare?

Joshua is soaked all over when he enters, having tracked rainwater all over the carpeted hallway and into the floor of Room 505. He doesn't seem all too fazed by it though — quickly shrugging off his coat before hanging it behind the flimsy plastic hooks screwed to the back of the door. He shuts it behind him with a kick, sighing through his teeth as he loosens the coil of a sushi-patterned necktie around his collar.

You got that one for him as an exchange gift for last year's Christmas party. Joshua uses it a lot more frequently than you expected him to. In fact, he always wears it during casual Fridays. You're not sure if he actually likes the stupid necktie or he's just trying to get a reaction out of you, but his choice to wear it isn't lost on you either way.

"Team dinners are really something else," Joshua chuckles as he tosses the flimsy material atop the complimentary dining table. He cards his fingers through his damp hair and you try not to think of how good he looks as he does it.

"You should've come with us. It's not often that you see Manager Yoon convince Jihoon to down a shot of soju. Oh, Seungkwan also got his ass handed to him at karaoke with the girls from sales. I had no idea Jihyo could hold her high notes like she means business."

You don't take a bite at his feeble attempt at small talk. He knows damn well why you don't show up to any of Jeonghan's team dinners, but you tell yourself that Joshua's just being polite — still thinking of the outcast of the marketing department despite the fact that you do not want anything to do with the people you work with.

...Although there are some exceptions here and there.

"Really? You're just going to give me the silent treatment all night?" Joshua sighs dramatically as he unbuttons his dress shirt — baring his rain-beaded chest to your unwitting gaze. "Well, if you need a bit more time, I'll go hop in the shower first. You're free to join me if you'd like."

He knows you won't, so you find it strange that he offers each and every time anyway.

You let your gaze wander to the full length mirror attached to the cabinets once the door to the bathroom clicks shut. There's nothing remotely special about your getup tonight. You're still donned in your work clothes — brick gray pencil skirt with a brick gray blazer to match. Apart from the heels sitting on the rack near the door, you're pretty much still in uniform.

You had half the mind to go home and change when Joshua said he's going to dinner and karaoke with your boss and some other colleagues, but that would mean you actually cared about what you looked like in front of him.

Which, for the record, you don't.

You can hear Joshua singing a familiar song in the bathroom — one that he always belts out in the most annoying way possible every time he showers. You wonder if he even knows any other song apart from that, but tell yourself you don't really have any business asking.

As the near-silence persists, however, your thoughts start to wander. Did he also sing this song when he was at karaoke earlier? Did he get to duet the high notes with Jihyo? You wouldn't put it past either of them to do so — being two of the company's renowned social butterflies.

That train of thought brings forth the same question you've been asking ever since the first night you shared this hotel room with Joshua and found him still lying beside you in the morning:

Why'd he choose you?

You're an in by nine and out by five unless there's paid overtime kind of employee. You never bothered establishing any worthwhile friendships in the workspace because you know better than to trust the backstabbing fiends in the corporate ladder. You're perfectly aware of what other people say about your individualistic behavior — how you're the worst team player in your department — but you never really cared.

Not until Joshua Hong inserted himself into your life.

To put it in the easiest way possible, he's the epitome of a perfect coworker. He's the guy that greets you every morning with an charming smile. The guy who drops by your cubicle to give you a coffee he made himself before saying you're doing a great job with that report you're putting together. The guy that everyone just adores simply because he's always been likable from the get-go.

That's the kind of person Joshua is — the exact opposite of you. Surely the jury won't condemn you for always questioning how you wound up spending your Friday nights fucking the man your entire department is basically in love with when you're so unlovable yourself.

Every time you try to recall how your transactional relationship with the company's unofficial sweetheart happened in the first place, your brain simply refuses to cooperate — memories muddled by a few pints of beer too many and an eye-crinkling smile that you're better off not rationalizing.

Besides, it's not like Joshua kisses and tells. Whatever happens in Room 505 stays in Room 505, and that's one of the many reasons why you haven't deigned to walk away from the setup altogether.

You meet up, he makes you feel good — makes you feel wanted — he cycles through whatever aftercare you might need, you fall a little more in love with him, then you both decide if you want to sleep in for a couple more hours or —

Wait.

Did you just admit you're in love with him?

"Hm? Didn't think you'd actually hop in with me today."

Joshua's voice is clearly laced with amusement as you shut the door to the bathroom — cheeks hot with both the steam billowing from the shower and the embarrassment cloying in your chest. You had the foresight to take off your uniform at least, leaving you in an unassuming set of cotton underwear that makes Joshua lick his lips with anticipation.

You make a show of stripping the rest of your clothing before him — nothing but the glass door to the shower separating the both of you. It's nothing sensual, nothing grandiose. You simply take off everything that's keeping your body hidden from your nighttime lover's hungry eyes.

When you step into the warm drizzle of the showerhead, Joshua hums before reaching for a bottle of shampoo — squeezing just the right amount into his palm as he lathers the product into your scalp.

The gentleness weighted into his actions startles you a little — not having expected him to do something so...domestic. You came in here with the full intention of getting fucked against the bathroom wall, but the way he massages your scalp so tenderly makes you reconsider your course of action.

But no matter how much of a gentleman he acts around you, not even Joshua can do anything about his own body's physiological reactions.

You feel the length of his cock nestled against your ass, hips rocking back and forth as he stimulates himself into full hardness. A soft moan tumbles out of your lips when he squeezes some of the hotel-provided body wash all over your chest — large hands lathering the soap across your body all while paying special attention to your tits.

"You finally snapped out of it, sweetheart?" Joshua sighs before latching his mouth onto the thrum of your pulse, biting down for only a moment to get your attention. "Ready to take my cock like a good girl?"

The way he murmurs those last few words along the column of your throat makes your legs feel like they'll disintegrate at any moment. Joshua continues to murmur sweet nothings into your ear, helping you clean up properly first before actually trying anything.

You're not sure if you should be pissed off or endeared by his stalling, but by the time he's finally rinsed out all the suds from your heated bodies, you're more or less ripe for the taking.

"Brace your palms against the wall, pretty girl. Yeah, just like that." Joshua chuckles softly as he presses a kiss to your nape, lips traveling down the length of your spine until he's eye-level with your sopping cunt.

"God, I'll never get tired of looking at this pretty pussy. Been thinking about sinking my cock into you all fucking week," he practically growls. "You really knew what you were doing with that cute maroon skirt you wore the other day, weren't you? The one that kept riding up your thighs when you reached for something from the high shelves? Little fucking minx."

You mewl helplessly when you feel Joshua's tongue prodding your soaked folds — forcing you to press your cheek against the cold tile as he massages your ass gingerly.

Joshua does his best to keep you anchored, making sure you won't accidentally slip as he laves at the slick between your thighs. He has no problem doing just that — driving you to near insanity with how his tongue sucks and slurps at your cunt like it's the first meal he's had in days.

"S-Shua," you whimper pathetically, pushing your ass out for more friction. "You're eating me so good..."

Had you not been so quickly drowned in this haze of arousal, you would've exercised more restraint. Joshua normally has a hard time getting you to be more vocal whenever he makes you feel good, but you suppose that there's just something in the air tonight that makes it so easy to just surrender yourself to him.

You can feel the vibrations of his laughter along the millions of nerve endings on your clit as he traces it with the tip of his tongue — further incapacitating you from coherent thought. When he slips in a finger into your awaiting heat, you all but gasp into the steamy air of the hotel bathroom.

"You're so cute when you start calling me that," he coos without halting his ministrations — that sinful tongue darting out to tease and lick and stimulate as he eases in another thick finger into your gummy walls. "Wanna eat you out underneath your desk someday... Would you act as cute as you're acting right now if I did that?"

The prospect of having sweet, gentlemanly Joshua Hong on his knees for you under your work desk makes you tighten conspicuously around his fingers. From the sordid chuckle that leaves his lips, you're fairly certain that he's noticed.

"You like that, huh? You like it when I put my mouth on you? Make you feel so good, you forget about everything else?" he chuckles darkly, rising back to his full height without taking his fingers out of your needy cunt. "But we both know this is hardly enough for you, right sweetheart?"

You hate how he knows you so well.

Joshua spends about one minute max towel drying both of your bodies before he quite literally sweeps you off your feet. You let out a surprised shriek as he princess-carries you onto the bed — gently laying you on the undisturbed sheets before crawling on top of you like a predator circling its next meal.

"Wanna tell me why you were so out of it earlier?" Joshua murmurs as he nips at your jaw, the words followed by a crackle of thunder in the distance. He chuckles when you jolt in surprise before peppering your face with a collection of kisses that ends at the tip of your nose. "It's not the weather, is it? I remember that I literally fucked you in the middle of a storm last month."

"Quit running your mouth and just fuck me," you mumble, lacing your fingers around his nape before grinding up against his leaking cock. "I've waited for you long enough."

"Ahhh," he drawls with resounding epiphany, as if he'd just figured out some ancient secret. "So you were sulking because I took too long to get here? Don't worry, sweet thing, it won't happen again."

When Joshua leans close to your ear, his hot breath fans against your flesh — making your toes curl with quiet anticipation.

"The next time we meet in this room, I'll have you mounted on my cock the moment you come through the door."

Joshua doesn't bother with foreplay or any sort of preamble. He simply guides his cock into the give of your entrance, sinking his length so deep, you can feel him in your stomach.

"Fuck," you whimper, fingernails seeking purchase across the rippling muscles of Joshua's back. He doesn't quite move yet — letting you get used to the stretch like he always does.

"Pretty pussy's so fucking tight around me," he groans. "Did you need me this badly? 'm sorry for making you wait so long, sweetheart. If I had known, I would've ditched karaoke and made you feel good as soon as I could."

Empty words uttered in the throes of passion — you're well aware that's all they are. Yet Joshua has no trouble making your heart flutter with the sentiment anyway.

"J-Joshua," you manage to gasp as you feel his girth throb inside you. "Please move... Need it. Need it so bad, please."

You're on the brink of tears with how desperate you are for mind-numbing release, but amidst your mounting delirium, Joshua sighs a little too endearingly before pressing a long, hard kiss on your lips.

"Anything for you, pretty girl."

He eases himself into you slowly at first — making sure you feel every ridge of his cock dragging along your tight walls. Joshua particularly feels smug when your eyes roll to the back of your head, addicted to the way his cock is splitting you open.

It's only when you start to loosen up that he picks up the pace, strong hands gripping your thighs as he pounds into you. The squelch of your arousal echoes within the walls secluding you from the rest of the world.

When Joshua hoists your hips higher before hooking the back of your knees across his shoulders, you knew it was all over for you.

Admittedly, you don't remember the first time you've had sex with him anymore. Or the second. Or the third. You've had each other so many times in so many ways that every instance kind of just blends into the next — painting a messy caricature of all the illicit meetings you've had with your nighttime lover.

But you don't care if it's messy. You don't care if it's strange. At the end of the day, you're comforted by the fact that all these experiences you shared with him are irrevocably yours.

Even if you can't really say the same for Joshua himself.

He stirs the pot of your arousal with practiced ease. Joshua stares at you like you're the most precious thing he's laid eyes on before letting one of your legs fall back on the mattress.

Your lover trades the depth of his thrusts for enough leeway to flatten his thick fingers across your throat — making you bleat with expectation as he presses down just enough to make you feel lightheaded. He hisses when he feels your velvet walls clamp tighter around his cock, further informing him that he's on the right track.

"Fuck, sweetheart," he laughs breathlessly — his gorgeous face the only thing you can see. "You'll let me do anything to you, won't you? All I gotta do is fuck you stupid and you'll take everything I give."

At this point, you're too far gone to even deny a word he says. "Mmmm... Your cock feels too good, Shua. 'M so close already. You'll finish inside me, won't you? Make both of us feel good?"

"Dumb little princess couldn't even answer my question," Joshua chuckles before making a particularly harsh thrust that jostles you further up the mattress. "Of course I'll finish inside this pretty pussy. It's all mine, isn't it?"

"Uh-huh," you mewl as Joshua's fingers tighten around your throat again, making your toes curl with unadulterated glee. "My pussy's all yours, Joshua. All fucking yours."

He chuckles again, fingers climbing up to your jaw until Joshua is able to prod his thumb against your bottom lip. You respond in earnest, suckling at the digit as he rails you into the mattress. There's no longer any room for intelligible thoughts — lost in the sea of pleasure that Joshua choose to drown you in every time you come together like this.

"Close, close, close," you practically sob, thighs winding around his hips as you bring him impossibly closer to you. "Shua, I'm gonna cum. Please, I need to cum. I need you—"

"You already have me, sweetheart," he laughs breathlessly yet full of intent that you're too fucked out to notice.

"You'll always have me."

That's what does you in. That's what always does you in — his sweet words, his tender gaze.

As much as the pleasure he gives with each drive of his cock into your battered cunt sends you to cloud nine, nothing makes you fall apart harder than the thought that maybe Joshua Hong is capable of loving you back.

Because how can he stare at you with so much adoration in his eyes if he doesn't actually love you at all? How can he keep meeting you like this in secret if there's no hidden agenda behind it?

But when all's said and done, you come back to your senses. Your rose-tinted gaze fades back into the darkness of Room 505.

Joshua is still beaming at you like you're the only person that matters to him on this entire earth. But you know damn well that he'd never smile at you the same way once you're out of the four corners of this room.

That's just the way things are.

As you pick off your clothes from the floor of the bedroom and the bathroom alike, Joshua stirs from where he momentarily passed out on the mattress — bleary eyes observing your every move as his brows furrow together.

"You're leaving?" he murmurs sleepily. "But it's raining outside. We should stay until it stops at least."

Hesitating for a moment, you stare at the bundle of rumpled clothes in your arms as Joshua practically tells you to go back to bed.

You know it's for the best if you don't lay back down beside him. The distance keeps you grounded — anchored to the truth that beyond these weekly trysts you share together, you and Joshua are nothing but civil colleagues at most.

He isn't your lover. He isn't even your friend.

But a stubborn part of you believes that maybe if he breaks you apart and puts you back together again, you'll be a different person. Someone who can keep up with his outgoing lifestyle. Someone he'll have no problem showing off to his friends and fellow coworkers.

But, really, when have things ever turned up daisies when it comes to you and Joshua Hong?

"Fine," you mumble, dropping your clothes in a heap next to the sushi necktie that looks more worn out now that you're seeing it up close.

You make a mental note to buy him a few more once the Christmas sales start coming around again.

"You coming to cuddle before we sleep or what?"

Joshua stares at you sleepily and expectantly from the bed, even patting the vacant space between him for added effect. If only those girls swooning at him in the office pantry could see him now...

Too bad what happens in Room 505 stays in Room 505.

⟢ end notes: finished this at 3:05 am with zero proofreading dedicated to it <3 if you spot any mistakes, they're not really mistakes since they're all crucial contenders in the creation process <333

[dominos-pizza-squad]

"You're going to have to."

I don't usually write meta on account of doing my best to avoid Fandom Drama like the plague and even a hint of Star Wars meta is like a siren call to Drama but. I have Thoughts about this scene and now I'm going to share them and if you're here for anti-Mace Windu thoughts this is not the post for you my friend.

Every time I see meta or reference to this scene it's used as more 'proof' that Windu was totally the worst and we shouldn't feel at all bad about him being maimed and thrown to his death which sure is a take, and on the surface I can understand why. When you don't bother to look more into that scene it does come off as Windu being a rude bitch to a child whose dad died in front of him, which is pretty uncool.

But this is a meta post and I am here to look more into this scene. I want to start with the concept of forgiveness, because when I go, I go big. I feel like a lot of the antipathy toward this scene (and by extension toward Windu) come from the fact that again, on a surface-level reading, it looks like Windu is demanding Boba's forgiveness for Jango's death, when we all know that's not how that works. That is, in fact, a concept that to most of us is viscerally offensive- our knee-jerk reaction is something more along the lines of "screw you i resent you more now" than it is "well okay that seems reasonable". Because you can't just demand somebody's forgiveness and expect it to happen. All that is is another wrong against the person you've already wronged. It's pure conceitedness and self-interest.

It's also not what Windu was trying to say to Boba in that scene. Not even remotely, in my opinion, and I'll explain why.

Think about the way the Jedi teach, particularly the way they teach philosophical concepts- they don't simply tell their students what to think, they tell them something and then make them think about themselves. Jedi are always expected to look deeper into a lesson to see what they can get out of it, this is the way Windu's lived his whole life, of course this is the way he speaks to Boba even though Boba's not a Jedi.

It's not exactly a hot take to say that Mace Windu and Boba Fett have very different ways of approaching the world. This is important to remember, though, because it guides the way that Windu interacts with Boba in this scene. When Boba swears he's never going to forgive him, Windu looks him in the eye and says, "Well, you're going to have to." And when he says that he's not saying that as some kind of ultimatum, he's saying that as a statement of fact.

What Windu is really saying to Boba in this scene isn't "forgive me 'cuz i said so". What he's saying is "your father cannot come back, and you will have to find a way to live with that so it doesn't consume you". Because what was Boba saying when he said "I'll never forgive you"? It wasn't just "I hate you", it was "I hate you, and I hate you so much that I don't care who I destroy in the process of destroying you". Sure, he expresses regret for all of the actual human beings that died because of his actions, but he follows it up with an utter refusal to acknowledge that those actions were wrong. What he was saying was "I hate you, and I hate you so much that I don't care who I destroy in the process of destroying you, even if it's myself."

Boba has done some genuinely horrible things by this point. He's put other children's lives at risk. He's crashed a star destroyer and killed who knows how many people. Maybe he didn't shoot the injured clones himself when they went in and took their hostages, but they wouldn't have died there if it weren't for him. He is directly responsible for the death of a man whose only crime was walking through the wrong door at the wrong time. He has charged headfirst down a path of death and destruction that will spread misery everywhere he goes.

And now Windu- who has just lost all of these men, lost Ponds, nearly lost his own life to Boba's actions- is looking down at this twelve-year-old boy, and he doesn't want this for him. He so badly doesn't want this for him, but he cannot make Boba's choices. All he can do is try and tell him "this path you're on is not worth it".

Because that, in my opinion, is what he means when he says "You're going to have to." He's not saying that he's entitled to anything from Boba (because he might have killed Jango in self-defense, but his motives and intentions don't change the fact that his actions hurt Boba), he's saying that Boba has to let go of that hatred before it ruins his life.

Which is exactly what it does! What happens to Boba in the end? He continues alone down his path of hate and misery, until he gets eaten by a sarlacc and enslaved by Tuskens. He had so little, and he loses even that. And it's no one's fault but his own.

But.

But. Finally, so many years after he started down that path, he does what Windu said. Finally, he lets that anger go. Finally, he gets to become what he could have been if he hadn't let himself be consumed by his rage. And that's why I liked The Book of Boba Fett, despite its flaws, because we get to see that change. After forty-odd years of strife, Boba finally gets to be a man at peace. And that's exactly what I think Windu would have wanted.

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Meeting The Parents (Part 2)

Pairing: Grumpy!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Reader Part 1

You stand side by side, watching him carefully. You've known Bucky a long time, you've spent a long time loving him, and yet, you've never seen him like this. Quiet and pensive in a different way than his normal stoicism.

This was the man from the 1940's, the boy from Brooklyn, the son that woke from his time as the Winter Soldier to find his parents and sister buried.

There's been nothing but silence since Bucky first pulled into the cemetery on this warm, sunny day. His jaw is tense, his eyes fixed on the spot where his mother is buried. "Are you alright?"

"I don't come here very often," Bucky speaks softly. He shakes his head with a shaky exhale, "This part doesn't ever get any easier. Knowing my mom is here, my sister, my dad..."

"You don't talk about him much."

"My father..." Bucky sighs. "He was - it was complicated, you know? He was a hard-ass, he had one hell of a temper, but he loved my Ma, he took care of us, and he - he was my dad."

You squeeze his hand, "I understand."

"They would have loved you."

You smile up at him, "Thanks."

"I left the flowers in the car, I'll go grab them," you tell him after a long moment of pensive, thick silence.

Both you and Bucky know it's less about grabbing flowers than it is you giving him a moment alone with his parents. You squeeze his hand one last time before you walk off.

"Hey, Ma." Bucky speaks, but only after he's watched you walk out of earshot. He smiles down at his mother's gravestone. He reaches down into his pocket, pulling out the small ring box to show her. "I, uh, I managed to track down your rings. Sam helped me out. Steve, well, you know Steve. It's been 70 years and he still can't keep a secret. I haven't told him yet, probably won't until after I've popped the question. You'd love her. She's perfect. Let's just hope she says yes."

Only moments later, you return with three bouquets, one for each of headstone. "Thank you for bringing me here, for trusting me with this."

"I think you're one of the only people that I trust with this," he confesses, his voice thick with grief. He wasn't sure that there would ever be a time that he would stop grieving the loss of his family. All he could really do was turn to the family he'd built in this time. "It makes me nervous, you know? With everything, that's - that's why I don't come here very often. I feel terrible, but I know I'd feel worse if people came here, if they-"

He doesn't have to finish his sentence. You know what he means. Bucky Barnes is a man that appreciates his privacy, not by choice, but to protect himself. The public perception of him improved day by day, but you know there's people out there that would come here only to hurt Bucky.

"You've never told me that before."

"Maybe I'm just paranoid."

Though you believed in the good of people, you understood why he didn't. You'd seen firsthand the visceral reactions people had to him. It wasn't fair to him in the slightest.

You squeeze his hand. "I understand. I don't think you're paranoid. You just... want to protect them."

It chokes him up. You're right. He wants to protect them. He wants to protect them the way he couldn't when they were still alive. Though the rational part of him knew it wasn't his fault, he'd always blamed himself for not being there for them.

He clears his throat. "I'm just - I'm gonna go talk to the groundskeeper real quick."

It's his way of telling you that he needs a minute. You nod, giving his hand an extra squeeze before you let go. "Okay."

You watch as he walks away with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Um...Mrs. Barnes?" you hesitantly speak to the headstone. "I know you don't know me, but I sorta feel like I know you. James still talks about you all the time. And I guess, I just - I wanted you to know that your son means the world to me. And I'll spend the rest of my life taking care of him. You raised a good man. You raised my person, and I'll never be able to say thank you enough for that."

AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Grumpy Sunshine Series

Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez @ludicbouquetfromearth @matchat3a @famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff @valoraxx @blue786sworld @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @geminigengar @ansaturn @ecolle @lexhalstead3 @ybflkmj @mediocre-daydreams @shanye1112 @thegirlnextdoorssister @toomanyfanficsbruh @moonlightreader649 @breathtaking-cynthia @mirikusashes@beans-and-toast @niyahcoca @katiechikin @elxvrr @antiheroxsblog @infamouslyclumsy @krissydclayton93 @buckysbarne @deadheadwbedhead @qualitygiantshoepsychic @whitexwolfxx310 @getosprettyboy @matchat3a @weallhaveadestiny @mostlymarvelgirl @honeydew3064

[tobiasdrake]

Ranma 1/2 episode 3. I can't be the only person who somehow, despite not thinking about this series seriously in a long time, still hears "YAPPAPPA YAPPAPPA II SHAN TEN hashagu koi wa ike no koi" in their head when starting up the reboot series.

Where did you come from? I thought I forgot you.

By contrast, the new OP hasn't grown on me as much. Can't imagine why. It couldn't be that I've heard the new one twice but heard the old one eight billion times over the course of three decades, such that any new music in its place is going to inherently sound like an imposter.

Nah, it's probably just that the song isn't good. That's a reasonable thing to conclude.

(In seriousness, new OP is fun.)

Uhhhhh, part 1 because I had a lot to say about Nabiki, my fave from back in the day who gets to be in the spotlight for the first time this episode.

Speaking of the OP, this is my favorite shot.

I don't know what it is exactly but every time I see this, there is a haunted look in Ranma's eyes. I don't think that's on purpose. I think he's just supposed to look like he's happily jogging.

But I see a thousand-yard stare on this boy. The look of a person who has seen things that can never be unseen.

Which.

Is fair.

For Ranma.

Rejected so hard. This is a misunderstanding but it's still hilarious how quickly Nabiki nopes the fuck out of this shit.

To be fair, she's seen the way Kuno treats the women he's interested in. If I were her, I would want no part of that.

Ironically enough, Nabiki/Kuno is IIRC the most popular ship for both of these characters. Though, given that being physically strong enough to beat the shit out of him at martial arts is such an important quality to Kuno, I'm not sure he and Nabiki are really compatible.

Makes perfect sense from Nabiki's perspective but honestly I'm pretty sure she's more likely to Black Widow him for his wealth than fall in love with him sincerely.

So begins Nabiki's career of being the absolute worst person in Ranma's life, in a cast that includes multiple people attempting to murder him. Nabiki is something far worse than a shonen rival. Worse than a romantic rival. Worse than a shonen rival who wants to surpass you at romancing your love interest.

She's a capitalist. And she has found a saleable product.

(My characters are always the absolute worst. Goddammit, Nabiki.)

There's something really interesting in Nabiki's reaction to that remark. Like. She gets back into gear pretty quickly after this moment.

But.

Just for a moment.

She had a visceral, kneejerk reaction of shock and disgust at the realization that Kuno was planning on pursuing Ranma and Akane at the same time.

Just for a moment, she had an emotional reaction strong enough to break her poker face.

I mean, she's still going to profit off it. She is a capitalist after all.

But it happened. That brief glimpse into the humanity underneath the cash register was there.

For those unaware of yen to dollar exchange rates, she's charging about $20 for Ranma's photos. Akane's are about $27. So we can actually quantify her feelings for Akane. She loves her sister exactly $7 more than a stranger she met a few days ago.

Don't take it personally. It's just business.

(I felt really gross saying that. Probably because it was really gross. In seriousness, Nabiki is an active participant in Akane's harassment, without Akane's knowledge.)

That said, she does still try to help this situation once she's done cashing in on violations of Ranma and Akane's privacy.

It doesn't take because Kuno aggressively refuses to learn the truth about the Pig-Tailed Girl throughout the series lest it compromise his delusions. But she does try. There seems like there's basically no reason for her to do this except to burst Kuno's bubble.

...except then she also does this when she realizes Kuno didn't get it.

She tried to burst Kuno's bubble and it didn't work so now she's making it worse instead. At this point, it's clear that Nabiki's just starting shit for funsies. She is the show's trickster. Her allegiances are to money and entertainment.

She was expecting a hilarious blowout the one way and when she didn't get it, she went a different route. Goddammit, Nabiki.

Of course, her troll antics eventually blow up in her face when they out her capitalist antics.

But she never really has to face any sort of consequences for it. Right when it seems like things are about to turn against her...

Ranma, rather than presenting a united front against their mutual abuser, decides to open his fucking mouth and insult Akane instead.

This is how capitalists win. They skate home with all the money and no comeuppance while their victims pick each apart.

[severelystrangewriter]

Text Messages (Flufftober 2023 Day 9)

Pairing: kenma kozume x female reader

WC: 909

Warnings: a little cursing

Summary: a wrong number situation leads you to become friends with kenma

Note: i literally had NO clue what to do for this one, but i think i'm pretty satisfied with how it turned out

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was late at night and Kenma was in the middle of a somewhat boring video game when his phone dinged, alerting him of a message. He paused to check, figuring it was Kuroo, but furrowed his brows at the unknown number. He read the message curiously and there was a picture attached.

Unknown: I completed the cosplay! How do I look? :)

Kenma blinked in surprise at the picture you sent. You looked good, really good. You were dressed in a sailor moon cosplay. Your makeup was perfect and your outfit looked like it was taken straight from the anime.

There was only one teensy problem.

He had no clue who the hell you were.

Kenma: the cosplay looks great, but um… do i know u?

Unknown: It’s (Y/n)? Who is this?

Kenma: my name is kenma 

He sent a selfie as proof. 

(Y/n): …

(Y/n): Well that’s embarrassing. I guess I put in the wrong number

Kenma: sorry

He expected the conversation to be over with. But you surprised him when you sent another message.

(Y/n): Weird question, wanna still chat? I’m bored >~<

He blinked twice, then hummed in thought before typing out his reply.

Kenma: i don’t see why not

Over time, texting you became a daily occurrence. You both talked about anything and everything- your lives, your dreams, games, all of it. You sent each other memes and pictures of cats and he found himself looking forward to your messages.

He found out you were a second-year like him, and you went to Karasuno. In fact, you were involved as a manager of the boys’ volleyball team. He told you he was a setter for Nekoma and you thought that was pretty cool, even joking that maybe one day your teams will play against each other.

“Hey, can I borrow your phone? Mine’s dead,” Kuroo said one day before practice.

“Yeah sure,” Kenma handed over his phone and continued playing his nintendo.

Kuroo thanked him and it fell silent as he sent the text to his mom telling him to use Kenma’s phone to get ahold of him. As he waited for a response, Kenma’s phone dinged and a notification popped up that caused Kuroo to furrow his brows.

“Who’s (Y/n)?”

Kenma nearly dropped his nintendo upon hearing your name. With eyes wide, he reached over to snatch the phone back, but Kuroo was too quick and moved away from his friend. He hadn’t told Kuroo about you for the very specific reason of not wanting to be teased.

“Hey she’s pretty cute,” He commented, clicking the picture you sent.

“Give that back!” Kenma shouted.

Not expecting such a visceral reaction out of his friend, Kuroo connected the dots rather quickly, “Oh my god, do you have a secret girlfriend?”

This caught the rest of the team’s attention rather quickly. And they watched as Kenma struggled with Kuroo over the cell. Kenma’s face grew hot at the accusation.

“N-no! It’s not like that!” He vehemently denied.

“Why are you getting so defensive then?” Kuroo asked with a teasing smirk, “You like her~!”

“I never thought I’d see the day when Kenma Kozume has a crush!” Yaku called out.

“Shut up!” Kenma hissed, finally succeeding in taking the phone back.

His cheeks continued to burn when he saw the picture: it was just you showing off your makeup but you looked so cute as always that it made his heart skip a beat.

“Woah dude, your girlfriend’s hot,” Yamamoto commented, looking over his short friend’s shoulder.

“It’s not like that!” Kenma repeated, clutching the phone to his chest to hide it.

“You mean she’s single?” Yamamoto asked with a hopeful tone.

Kenma glared at his teammate, who shrunk away from the harsh look.

“Nevermind.”

Just then, Coach Nekomata was calling for their attention, telling them that the practice was starting.

~~~

(Y/n): ARE YOU GONNA BE AT THE CAMP

Kenma: why are you yelling

(Y/n): BECAUSE I’M EXCTIED

(Y/n): *ECXITED

Kenma: you still spelled it wrong

(Y/n): FUCK

You sent several crying emojis and he smiled at your overdramatic response.

Kenma: to answer your previous question, yeah i’ll be there :)

Kenma: we’re on our way now

(Y/n): YAY

Kenma chuckled and continued to text you.

“Let me guess, your precious (Y/n)?” Kuroo’s teasing voice brought Kenma out of his thoughts as he was nudged lightly by his friend.

Kenma rolled his eyes, but he nodded anyway, “Uh-huh.”

“So when are we going to get to meet her?” Kuroo questioned.

“She’s going to be at the practice game,” Kenma explained quietly, “She’s one of their managers.”

“Really?” Kuroo’s eyes lit up, “You must be excited then.”

Kenma bit his lip and looked out the window to avoid his friend’s gaze. He had to admit that he was pretty excited, but he was also getting nervous. It would be the first time he would be seeing you in person, and the thought was nerve-wracking. Would you guys click like you do through a screen? What would happen if you didn’t? Would you stop talking to him?

Kuroo picked up on Kenma’s growing stress.

“Relax, it’ll be fun,” He ruffled Kenma’s hair affectionately, ultimately putting a stop to all the worrying thoughts.

“Yeah,” Kenma agreed in that soft tone of his.

He continued to gaze out the window, wondering about you. And he wondered if you were thinking about him too.

[bonesandpoemsandflowers]

my bohemian ass woke up at noon on a friday so I'm not firing on all cylinders yet, but there is this important distinction in the novel, The Phantom of the Opera, and the musical The Phantom of the Opera. I understand why a novel length distinction is cut for time and narrative tidiness for a medium that happens on stage, but I think people draw some very unfair, unflattering and incorrect conclusions from the stage that they port into their reading of the novel.

that is: Erik, the phantom of the opera, knows about Christine and Raoul's engagement and he's actually totally cool with Christine's plan. This is not incel behavior. This is not ~toxic masculinity~ or whatever contemporary bullshit you want to spew on the intentionally sympathetic monster in gothic literature. Raoul is supposed to leave on a naval expedition to the north pole. Christine's plan is to be engaged with him until he leaves. "This is a happiness that will hurt no one," she says. I don't have the exact quote for it but later on she relates how Erik knows and approves, at least of this intended to be limited engagement engagement. Why? Because he's the happiest of men with Christine, and he wants Raoul to experience that happiness. He does also expect Raoul to, you know, fucking leave when he's supposed to, but still. Christine and Raoul are romping around the Opera, kissing and crying together, and our ghost dude here is just like: good for them.

What sets him off is not the idea of a romantic rival. He does not, imo, feel "entitled" to Christine's love or whatever batshit nonsense the Erik-as-incel narrative huffs like paint fumes. What sets Erik off is how Christine has lied to him: not about the engagement, but about the degree of visceral disgust she feels for Erik specifically as a result of his deformity. She details, in graphic detail, how she closes her eyes instead of looking upon him, how she tells him that she only averts her eyes because she is in awe of his genius. She tells Raoul how horrible even physical proximity to Erik is, how grotesque his face is, how the horror of an animated corpse proclaiming his love to her is--well, horrible, and horrifying. Erik is on the floor, on his knees, kissing the hem of her dress, and Christine has her eyes closed the whole time.

I also think contemporary audiences can't handle that. They need Christine to be a pure and wholesome Good Girl (regressive bullshit), who is the victim of an evil evil man, and only the victim (also regressive bullshit). But also because she is a female character in the contemporary mind, she is allowed no flaws. She must reject Erik because he is a bad man. It would be ableist otherwise, yes? And the contemporary audience cannot handle lack of physical beauty being the reason. There can be no nuance to Christine's reactions. She is Good. Erik is Bad. That's all there is to it. The audience member is so sure that they themselves are above moral reproach, too. That's what is at stake here, also.

Never mind that Christine herself, repeatedly, notes that Erik is right when he says that if she thought he was handsome, she would stay. Never mind that when Raoul asks her if she would still love him if Erik were handsome, Christine declines to reply.

To be clear: this is not a Christine bashing post. I think her complexity here is fascinating. I hate a flat one note ingénue and that's not what she IS, and it pains me that fic authors write her that way, as if it's superior. No! Here she's human and she's magnificent! She's conflicted! Erik is alluring but also in ways that are no fault of his own, terrifying.

We gloss over the intended body horror of the novel. I know I do. I forget that he smells like rot and death, that he's cold and clammy to the touch, that he moans like a ghoul, that is supposed to have a gaping nose hole and eyes you can only see in the dark.

I don't think Christine is wrong to lie. But it's easy to understand, if you let yourself, how betrayed the monster might feel when he finds out about all this concealed disgust.

So, two points here

The rage upon being unmasked isn't just because he's unmasked and she broke a rule or whatever. It's the death of his whole gambit and his last hope, and Erik is, canonically, very smart. He knows this. He knows his face IS the issue. He knows it is THE issue. He reads Christine correctly in that the Angel of Music bit is ultimately forgivable in her eyes, and she likes that he brought down her favorite horse, she absolutely is there for their shared spiritual musical raptures. I want people to understand this: ERIK IS RIGHT about his own situation, a LOT of the time. He comes to some bad conclusions after, but in terms of understanding what's happening around him, he's accurate.

And so the rage and despair post Apollo's Lyre isn't "oh no, she loves Raoul," or even "how dare she, that SLUT," as some people make it out to be. It's the realization that he's been a monster to her this whole time. All this time he thought that she saw him as a man, and she has not. All the presumably good memories he has of her and her two weeks she lived with him are now revealed as lies. She's been enduring this whole time, not acclimating. She feels horror. She feels, again, disgust. She's shuddered at the touch of his hand in hers and put on a brave face and he's believed her up until this point, and he's having his physical inadequacies and his uncharacteristic naiveté described in excruciating detail to his romantic rival. He probably feels real fuckin stupid, on top of all else. He's been duped. He also feels disgusting and unlovable, because Christine has just repeatedly described him as disgusting and unlovable.

It is, of course, wildly incorrect to then decide to blow up an opera house about it.

But it's not entitled incel behavior and that's such a boring and contemporary narrative to shove a beautiful example of gothic literature into. Intellectually lazy and artistically myopic. I think most of us, if we're honest with ourselves, can think of a time we thought somebody liked us--maybe romantically or sexually but also maybe not, maybe just as a friend, as a bestie--and we turned out to be very wrong, because the person was just being polite or avoiding awkwardness or whatever. That is: they lied, in a very understandable and justifiable and socially expected way. And how did that feel, dear reader? Not great, right?

The point of the phantom of the opera is that it's a bunch of normal human experiences turned up to the max, dialed into a sublime hum that goes so hard it turns inhuman and terrible. It's that what makes a monster, what makes a man line, which is only interesting to walk if it's identifiably very human in parts. So Erik isn't just romantically rejected: he is rejected in just about EVERY way possible, besides his divinity of music. And this is supposed to the story of his entire life, over and over again, just most vividly and poignantly illustrated by his failure with Christine, when he most desperately wants to be just like everybody else.

And I think it's a shame to lose that very basic narrative and thematic point, but also a shame to lose the nuance of: Erik wants to share his happiness with Raoul. He loves Christine so, so much that he seems to find Raoul's lovesick desire very relatable. Of course, who wouldn't allow his fellow man a glimpse of heaven? And I just chose my words carefully there, if not the rest of the post. In his approval of Christine and Raoul's playful engagement, Erik is briefly engaging on a man-to-man level. He feels human about it. And when he feels human and accepted as human, instead of a walking horror show, he's immediately kind of gracious.

It's when he finds out that he's been a monster and not a man this whole time, in the eyes of his beloved and his rival, that he seems to go: I'll show you what a monster is.

[thelazyhermits]

One scene that, for a while now, I've been wanting to write is one where Yuu talks to Trey following the library discussion in Book 1 since there's something about the Trey & Riddle dynamic that I've never really seen explored that I personally think played a big role in Trey's reluctance to stop Riddle, even though it was never really mentioned in canon, meaning this is just my HC.

After being inspired by the first TWST novel, I decided to finally write that scene and share my HC, all of which will be underneath the cut.

Also, for those unfamiliar with my writing, my Yuu is female. I'm mentioning that cause her gender gets mentioned once at the end of the drabble, so those who prefer to read G/N readers may not be interested in this particular drabble.

For those who do decide to read this drabble, I hope y'all enjoy it! 😊

Once it’s decided that both Ace and Deuce will challenge Riddle for leadership of the Heartslabyul dorm, Crowley takes his leave, so he can get the paperwork prepared for tomorrow’s duels.

The rest of you also soon disperse, with Trey heading in the direction of the Hall of Mirrors while the rest of you head for Ramshackle dorm since Ace and Deuce obviously don’t want to go back to their dorm after the unpleasant events of today’s unbirthday party.

Or at least, you start to head in the direction of your dorm before having a last minute change of heart since there’s something you really need to get off your chest that you don’t think you can afford to put off to a later time.

That’s why you tell Grim, Ace, and Deuce to go on ahead and that you’ll catch up with them after you take care of something, catching them all by surprise.

In order to avoid getting questioned by them, you immediately run off after you let them know that you have something you need to do.

Thankfully, they don’t chase after you since the conversation you’re about to have is one that would be better without an audience.

Moving as fast as you can, you hurry toward the direction of the Hall of Mirrors, and much to your relief, a few minutes later, you catch sight of the person you’re looking for.

“Trey-senpai!”

Upon hearing you call out to him, Trey, who had been walking with his head down and his shoulders hunched, jolts before turning to look at you in surprise. “Yuu?”

After taking a moment to catch your breath once you come to a stop before him, you make sure no one else is around before bluntly asking, “You’re not actually afraid of Riddle-senpai and his Unique Magic, are you?”

Trey stares at you with noticeable surprise, obviously caught off guard by your question. “Huh?”

“Earlier, when Ace was condemning you for your inaction, I stayed quiet since I pretty much agreed with everything he said.” You remark, “With the exception of him accusing you of being afraid of Riddle-senpai ‘cause I know you’re not.”

You look Trey dead in the eye. “You’re not afraid OF him. You’re afraid FOR him, ‘cause you don’t want him to suffer ‘cause of whatever decisions you make, like what happened in the past.”

Flinching, as if he’s been hit, a wide-eyed and now noticeably pale Trey takes an unconscious step back as he asks, “H-How…? Did Che’nya…?”

Your expression softens upon seeing his visceral reaction, which proves just how profoundly impacted Trey had been by the visit Riddle’s mother made to his family’s bakery after she found out about her son sneaking out behind her back when Riddle and Trey were children.

Of course, you’re not surprised, considering how frightened Trey had been when you saw that particular memory of Riddle’s past. The bespectacled boy was on the verge of tears just like Riddle, not that you can blame them, since any child would’ve been terrified after seeing Riddle’s angry mother, who really should’ve known better than to look so threatening while children were present.

Upon remembering how scared those two kids had been in your last dream, you have to take a quick, deep breath to rein in your anger since the last thing you want is to lash out at Trey when that anger should only be directed at that woman, whom you’d love nothing more than to challenge to a cage match despite your usual aversion to them.

Once you’ve taken a moment to collect yourself, you finally answer Trey’s question. “This will probably be really hard for you to believe, but since the night Ace got collared, I’ve been having these dreams that show me Riddle-senpai’s memories. Don’t ask me how or why ‘cause I have absolutely no idea. Something like this has never happened to me before.”

Trey’s eyes grow even wider. “You saw Riddle’s memories? Seriously?”

Nodding, you proceed to reel off all the memories you’ve witnessed the last two nights, which mostly consisted of all the intense study sessions Riddle had with his mother, although last night you also saw some memories involving Trey and Che’nya.

When you recall the last memory you saw before you woke up this morning, you frown, “Before I woke up, I saw a memory of you and Che’nya-san bringing Riddle-senpai to your family’s bakery ‘cause you wanted Riddle-senpai to get the chance to try a strawberry tart, which was something he had been admiring from afar for a while since his mother told him that eating one would be like eating poison.”

As Trey’s posture noticeably stiffens, you continue, “At first, I really enjoyed the memory since you all looked so happy, and it was nice seeing Riddle-senpai smiling so much and enjoying that strawberry tart with all his heart, but…”

Your frown deepens. “Then, I took notice of the clock on the wall and realized that he was gonna be late getting back to his house ‘cause he got so caught up in enjoying the tart. I immediately began to panic ‘cause I didn’t know what his mother would do if she found out what he had been doing with you guys, but sadly, there was nothing I could do to change a moment from the past.”

“Even worse, I woke up before I could see the fallout of Riddle-senpai getting home late.” You grimace, “And it gave me this strong sense of foreboding, which was pretty accurate, considering how today’s unbirthday party turned out.”

While Trey nods in agreement, wearing a grimace of his own, you inform, “After we left the party, we ran into Che’nya-san who told us to talk to you about Riddle-senpai. While Grim and the others went on ahead after Che’nya-san gave that advice and seemingly disappeared, I stuck around, so I could try to get more info outta him since I had a feeling he hadn’t actually left the area.”

“I wanted to know if the reason you two weren’t trying to stop Riddle-senpai was related to what happened after that bakery visit ‘cause the two kids I got to know after watching Riddle-senpai’s memories were the type of people who would’ve tried to stop him by now rather than let him continue down the dangerous road he’s currently on.” You continue, “Obviously, something had happened between what happened in that last memory and recent events, and it changed you and Che’nya-san and how you both act around Riddle-senpai.”

“Of course, Che’nya-san wouldn’t give me a straight answer.” You huff, “Instead, after he found out about the weird dreams I’ve been having, he suggested that I take a cat nap, so I could see for myself what happened next since that’s the only way I’d really understand.”

Trey weakly chuckles, “Typical Che’nya….”

“Since I really didn’t have any better ideas, I followed his advice and took a nap while we were waiting for you at the library.” You reveal, “And amazingly enough, I did have a follow up memory dream that showed me what happened to Riddle-senpai after his mother found out what he had been doing every day during his independent study time.”

“That’s how I know about how she punished him and took away what little freedom he had, which meant he could no longer see you and Che’nya-san.” You quietly add, all the while cursing that woman in your heart for all the pain you had to witness Riddle endure, because she treated her son more like a prized show dog she was grooming rather than an actual human child with thoughts and feelings of his own. 

Trey winces, “I see…”

Averting his gaze, Trey drags a hand through his hair before sighing, “You were right earlier. I’m not afraid of getting collared, not really. I’m afraid that I’ll cause Riddle even more suffering, even though I rationally know that he’ll suffer regardless of what I do.”

“I just…” He hesitates before releasing another, much heavier sigh. “I don’t want to make things even worse for him. He’s already gone through enough as it is…”

It’s just as you had guessed. Trey isn’t refraining from stopping Riddle simply because he’s afraid of rocking the boat and can’t bear to condemn the redhead when he knows exactly why his childhood friend acts the way he does, although those are factors at play here.

More than anything, Trey just can’t bring himself to take action, because, the last time he did that, Riddle paid the price, and Trey still can’t completely forgive himself for that.

Naturally, you can’t allow Trey to remain stuck in such a foolish mindset.

Catching him completely off guard, you quickly close the distance between the two of you and reach up to give his forehead a hard flick. “You big dummy. While Ace was right that you’re partially responsible for Riddle-senpai’s current behavior, you were NOT at all responsible for Riddle-senpai’s suffering back then. That responsibility fully rests on his mother’s shoulders.”

As his wide eyes look into yours, you firmly hold his gaze. “You and Che’nya-san did nothing wrong. On the contrary, I wanna commend you two for being the reasons for the only truly happy memories I got to see. In all of his memories that I saw, Riddle-senpai always looked the happiest when he was with you guys.”

“Yes, Riddle-senpai suffered a lot because he came into contact with you two, but I know he doesn’t regret meeting you guys, and if given the opportunity to go back in time, I bet he’d still choose to meet you two since his time with you guys was just that precious to him.” You continue, “Because, even if it came at a very high cost, the happiness you gave him was still worth it in the end.”

You can say that so confidently, because, if something like that had happened to you, whose childhood has some strong similarities to Riddle’s, that’s how you would’ve felt. 

No matter what kind of fallout you would’ve had to endure, you would’ve never regretted making friends and experiencing true kindness and care for the first time.

Because some things are just worth the pain. 

Trey’s surprised expression quickly becomes pained. “It’d be nice if that was the truth, but-”

“Tell me, is it just a coincidence that two childhood friends are the dorm and vice dorm leaders of Heartslabyul, or did Riddle-senpai ask you to be his vice dorm leader?” You ask, cutting him off before he could finish his sentence.

Appearing both surprised and confused, Trey just stares for a moment before answering, “Riddle asked me to be his vice dorm leader after he became dorm leader.”

“And why did he ask you, of all people, to take that important position?” You raise an eyebrow. “Surely, it wasn’t just because you’re both childhood friends and because he wanted someone who could always play peacemaker between him and the other members of your dorm. Someone like Riddle-senpai wouldn’t pick someone for only reasons like that, right?”

Rather than give you an answer, Trey remains quiet. Whether it’s because Riddle never actually gave him a reason for asking him to be his vice dorm leader or because he doesn’t understand why you’re asking these types of questions, you’re not sure, but it doesn’t matter since you already know the answer to your question.

With a huff, you forcefully poke his chest. “The main reason Riddle-senpai appointed you over everyone else is obvious. He TRUSTS you, more than anyone.”

“And if he trusts you, that means he still cares about you, just as much as he did back when you were kids.” You reveal, “It means he doesn’t hold you at all responsible for what happened back then.”

“Because, if he did, he wouldn’t want you constantly by his side, now would he?” You knowingly ask.

Trey’s eyes grow large as his breath catches. “T-That’s…”

After a long pause, Trey releases a shaky breath as he hangs his head. “He really doesn’t blame me at all, does he? Despite everything…”

Your expression softens. “The only person he ever blamed was himself for breaking his mother’s rules and disappointing her. I never saw him blame anyone else, especially not you or Che’nya-san.”

“I wish I could say the same.” Trey bitterly mutters as he slowly shakes his head.

Briefly, you look at him with noticeable sympathy because of what he had to go through as a kid thanks to Riddle’s tyrant mother before you harden your features since you can’t afford to go soft on him now.

“If you feel this bad about past events, which weren’t even actually your fault, you’re only going to be even more miserable when Riddle-senpai endures even more suffering ‘cause of current events that you actually are largely responsible for, ‘cause you betrayed the trust he put in you by staying quiet.” You matter-of-factly state, making Trey flinch.

When he remains quiet and keeps his head lowered, you continue, “I understand your current thought process. You think that it’s better to do nothing than risk doing something that could potentially make his situation even worse, but you’re wrong - dead wrong.”

A deep frown forms on your face. “Because a guy who sits back and does nothing when his friend is obviously in need of his help is way worse than a guy whose actions cause trouble for his friend after he makes a genuine effort to help them.”

“I can guarantee that, if you continue as you are, you’ll come to greatly regret your inaction way more than you ever will anything else you could potentially do for Riddle-senpai.” You continue, “So I highly recommend that you take some time to seriously think about Riddle-senpai, who’s only going to continue spiraling, and what’s best for him.”

“And you should make that decision sooner rather than later ‘cause, right now, your dorm is a metaphorical house of cards that’s barely holding together.” You add, “At this point, I think all it’ll take is one strong enough breeze, and it’ll all come tumbling down, and Riddle-senpai will be the one who suffers the most from the fall.”

It’s at that moment Trey finally lifts his head and breaks his silence. “Why are you saying all this to me? I had thought you had approached me because you’re worried about Ace and Deuce and their situation with our dorm, but now, I’m not so sure. Now, it seems more like you’re actually concerned about Riddle, and I can’t figure out why since, unlike me, you have no reason to care about him.”

He scrutinizes you with his disbelieving, slightly suspicious eyes. “Surely, it’s not just because you took pity on him after seeing his past.”

Feeling slightly exasperated since he’s temporarily changing the subject so he can put off the conversation he obviously does not want to continue having with you, you huff, “Of course not. While I definitely felt empathetic after seeing his memories, I’m not acting out of pity. Unlike a certain someone I could name, I’m not the type who goes easy on people because I know about their tragic backstories.”

Rather than react to your verbal jab, Trey raises an eyebrow. “If that’s truly the case, what are your motivations then?”

After taking a moment to consider his question and find the right words to respond, you answer, “To put it simply, I just can’t bear to watch Riddle-senpai continue as he is ‘cause he reminds me a little too much of myself. It’s just too awkward and uncomfortable, and I’d really rather not have to deal with all that for the whole school year, you know?”

His eyes grow large. “He…reminds you of yourself…?”

Immediately, you can see the metaphorical cogs start turning in his head, and judging from his constantly shifting expressions, Trey’s definitely assuming the worst about your upbringing, which is understandable, considering what he knows about his childhood friend.

Obviously, you have no intention to actually tell your upperclassman about your abusive upbringing since that’s not a topic you’d ever want to willingly discuss, especially not with someone you hardly even know.

That’s why, before Trey can start asking questions, you give him a vague explanation that will hopefully be enough to satisfy him. “Like Riddle-senpai, I grew up in a metaphorical cage that didn’t allow me much freedom. I also dealt with lots of high expectations that weighed heavily on my shoulders.”

Regrettably, the high expectations you mention had nothing to do with someone thinking highly of you and your abilities. Instead, they were just Mumei’s expectations that you would continue to win your cage-fights and be a source of income for him since all you ever were to him was a tool to make money.

After quickly dismissing those depressing thoughts, you add, “Which is why I can understand where Riddle-senpai is coming from to a certain extent at least, even though our upbringings were overall quite different.” 

Thankfully, rather than try to pry further, Trey just watches you with noticeably sympathetic eyes, making you assume that he believes that you’re telling the truth. “I see…”

Since this really isn’t a topic you want to dwell on, you quickly try to get this conversation back on track. “One major difference between me and Riddle-senpai is that, in a hypothetical situation where the two of us were trapped in physical cages and said cages suddenly opened, I think I would be the only one who would actually try to escape after confirming that the coast was clear.”

The corners of your lips dip downward. “Considering how Riddle-senpai feels about rules, I think, if he was told that it was against the rules to leave that cage, he’d stay right where he was, even when his freedom was right in his grasp, because he would never dare to oppose his mother and her rules.” 

Trey’s expression becomes pained. “You’re probably right.”

Catching him by surprise, you say, “I think only one thing could possibly get Riddle-senpai to come out of that cage willingly.”

You look straight into his wide eyes. “And that’s you extending a hand to him. After all, that’s how you got him to leave his cage the first time, isn’t it?”

For several seconds, Trey just stares. “That’s…”

“I know this isn’t as easy as me and Ace make it sound, but it’s a fact that YOU need to do something, Trey-senpai.” You remark, “Because, as much as I’d like to help someone get out of their cage after having finally escaped mine by coming to this school, it’s not me that Riddle-senpai needs. It’s YOU. In his current state, YOUR hand is the only one he’ll take.”

Letting your voice soften, you request, “So please help him out of that lonely cage that’ll only cause him even more suffering the longer he remains in it. Help him before it’s too late to reach out your hand to him.”

Shoulders slumping, Trey tries to hide his current, distressed expression behind one of his hands. “I…”

Deciding to take pity on him since you’d like to think you’re not as bad as Ace, you reach over to comfortingly pat his shoulder. “I’m not asking you to make a decision right this very minute. All I wanted was for you to take my concerns seriously, and by the looks of it, you are, so I’m willing to leave it at that.”

“Because I’m apparently more of a busybody than I thought, I just couldn’t leave you alone ‘til I said my piece, and now that I have, I’m gonna back off since, in the end, it really is none of my business what you do.” You remark before you pull your hand away from him. 

As an afterthought, you add, “Although, I really do wanna do something about the whole tyrant dorm leader situation you got going on at your dorm since, if Riddle-senpai stays as he is, I might end up having to permanently take care of Ace and Deuce at my dorm like I do Grim, and I’d really rather not have to deal with any additional troublesome responsibilities being put on my shoulders.”

Trey’s posture relaxes as he snorts, “That does sound like it’d be tough, so I can’t blame you for feeling that way.”

“I really am sorry for all of this.” Trey sincerely apologizes, after he pulls his hand away from his face, like he did earlier at the library when you and your friends first confronted him about Riddle. “I feel bad for getting you involved in my dorm’s troublesome situation when you've already got enough on your plate as it is by being the school’s sole female magicless student, which I’m sure can’t be easy.”

Catching you by surprise, Trey reaches over to gently pat your head, making you immediately remember that he has younger siblings, whom you had found out about when you saw Riddle’s memory about his visit to Trey’s family’s bakery, since Trey's current actions really make him look like a big brother.

“And thank you.” Trey smiles in the kind of genuine way you’ve only seen in Riddle’s memories. “For looking out for Riddle. Not many people would be willing to do that for obvious reasons, so I really appreciate it.”

Completely unaccustomed to being on the receiving end of warm gestures like this, all you can do is stare.

Meanwhile, Trey continues, “That’s why I intend to take your concerns seriously since it’s the least I can do, even though I honestly still don’t know what’s the best thing for me to do for Riddle.”

His smile becomes sheepish as he pulls his hand away from your head. “Sorry, I’m sure that’s not what you wanted to hear after going through the trouble of reaching out to me.”

“It’s fine.” You shrug after overcoming your earlier surprise. “I figured things would turn out like this since this is something you need to give a lot of thought toward. I would’ve been more surprised if you had changed your mind and agreed to convince Riddle-senpai to stop being a tyrant.”

“As long as you’re taking me seriously and not dismissing the legitimate concerns I brought up, I’m satisfied.” You add, “That’s about all I can ask of you, considering our current circumstances.”

Holding up a hand in parting, you turn to leave. “So, with that, I’ll take my leave since I don’t wanna leave Grim, Ace, and Deuce unsupervised at my dorm for too long. I’ll see you tomorrow for Ace’s and Deuce’s duels.”

“You know, I still think that the duels are a bad idea. Ace and Deuce don’t stand a chance against Riddle. Are you sure you shouldn’t talk them out of it before it’s too late?”

Pausing at Trey’s question, you reply, “I agree their chances of winning are low, but I have no intention of interfering since this is something they both really wanna do. There’s no talking them out of this now that they’ve got their hearts set on beating Riddle-senpai.”

Looking over your shoulder, you meet Trey’s worried gaze. “Besides, as I said earlier, inaction won’t solve anything; in this kinda situation, it’ll just cause more trouble in the long run, and those two both know that. They know they have to do SOMETHING. Otherwise, nothing will change.”

Although, I’d be lying if I said that I’m not worried about the possibility of things changing for the worse ‘cause of those duels. You think to yourself. Since literally anything could happen, and Riddle-senpai is currently like a ticking time bomb that could go off at any given moment.

When you find yourself thinking of Riddle's impending implosion, you wince. If that happens, we’ll all be in serious trouble...

Little did you know just how right you were.

[goatcheesecak3]

i’ve had this one on the dome for a while so walk with me picture a lawrence x reader that is so ‘lawrence sees so much of adam in you that he’s subconsciously using you as a way to right his wrongs of leaving that poor boy down there’.

for an extra level of stress for larry imagine a reader who actually knew adam very well and that’s why the similarities between the reader and adam exist and larry can NEVER tell them about what happened

basically this is chainshipping angst once removed do you get me did i explain the idea well ? idk i feel you could SLAY THIS CONCEPT HARD ok bye

Longing

Lawrence Gordon x Gn!Reader

Fic type: angst

Warnings: mention of missing person

A/n hello!!! Sorry it's been so long since I've written anything, I've been feeling pretty uninspired, but I'm feeling it more lately!!

Thank you so so so much for this request! Sorry it's so short, but I really enjoyed writing it, so i hope you enjoy reading it <3

Lawrence had been seeing y/n for a while, now. When they first met he wasn't sure why, but he felt like he already knew them somehow, they had a familiar charm. He'd never been with someone like this before, he was so used to clean cut and straight edge partners, but he liked that y/n was a little rough around the edges. He liked that they could shotgun a beer, he liked that they always wore tattered and baggy clothes, he liked their dry wit and feisty attitude. Hell, he even liked their obsession with photography- the way they constantly took pictures of him should have been annoying, but something about it made him feel comforted. Their presence in his life was warm, it satiated a sense of hiraeth for him, like a hug from an old friend, filling a void he didn't know he had.

He was unsure why this was, until one faithful day.

Sat on the small balcony of y/n's apartment, y/n pulled out a packet of cigarettes.

"Greatest invention on this planet" they had chuckled, lifting the cig up to their lips.

Lawrence felt his heart stop, his throat became dry and his eyes widened.

"Why did you say that?" He asked urgently.

"What do you mean?" Y/n looked him, puzzled as to why this had illicited such a strange change in their partner's demeanour.

"I-i" Lawrence scrambled for an excuse for his outburst, realising now that he shouldn't have given away how visceral his reaction was, "I'm sorry, sweetheart, it's just that I'm a doctor, I see bad things happening all the time because of those," he motioned towards the cigarette, "it took me by surprise to hear you speak of them so highly, that's all"

Y/n smiled at him softly.

"I don't actually think they're the greatest invention on the planet, I mean, a couple when I'm stressed is like a godsend, yeah, but that whole 'greatest invention' thing is just an old joke between me and one of my friends."

Despite all better judgement, Lawrence decided to probe.

"Which friend is this?"

Y/n took a drag, and stared off into the distance

"His name was Adam"

Feigning ignorance, Lawrence probed deeper.

"Was?"

Y/n sighed.

"He was my best friend, he's the one that got me into photography, but he went missing about a year ago. I don't like to think about it too much, he was in with a kinda bad crowd, I don't wanna imagine what happened to him."

"Y/n, I'm so sorry" Lawrence said, his heart ached knowing what he knew.

"It's fine, " y/n waved her hand, as if to shoo away any bad thoughts, "when I miss him I just imagine that one day he took off, maybe following a band on tour, maybe he's off in another country chasing his dreams - he loved animals, maybe he's got a new life on a farm or some shit, I dunno.." y/n's voice trailed off, "maybe someday he'll come back with a great story, and I'll kick him in the balls for disappearing on me, then I'll give him the biggest hug I've ever given anyone"

"Do you really think he's happy out there somewhere?" Lawrence asked, guilt's tight grip pulling on his insides and twisting them around.

"I have to." Y/n responded solemnly, "it's the only way I can live"

[littlestkoi-n]

a much too whiny rant about fic icks

I die a little every time pup, cub or Prongslet comes up in a wolfstar raising Harry (together or separately) fic. especially cub - it makes literally no sense????? are you sure it's Remus John Lupin I'm reading about??? it's his evil doppelganger, I'm telling you. I'm not even sure I could stomach that word ironically.

Prongslet is fine in moderation, I guess, but only as an inside joke, only coming from Sirius and only when Harry's a smol bean. but when it's Prisoner of Azkaban compliant I wanna claw my eyes out.

it's even worse when those terms are used not just in dialogue but in Remus or Sirius' internal monologue as if pup and cub are Harry's freaking pronouns or something. my cub, my pup, cub did this, pup did that... just call him boy or kid or his name for god's sake. I once saw sprog pop up and was delighted cuz at least it's actually british slang.

and don't get me started on Hadrian(us) James Orion Potter-Black (which is just... why the fuck would James give his son the name of his best mate's horrible father AND the last name of his horrible family?? and why would Lily agree to that?) who's simultaneously Lord Potter, Black, Peverell and Slytherin (and, sure, I have a visceral reaction to aristocracy wank in general but even ignoring that - the last 3 literally make no sense since "Lord Black" is Sirius until his death; and both Peverell and Slytherin lines bled into other families ages ago. so being a Potter automatically means you're descended from Peverells as well as being a Gaunt - from Slytherin. and the last of those is Tom Riddle Jr. but that wouldn't make any Potters "Lord Peverell"s or any Gaunts/Riddle "Lord Slytherin"s. those last names are dead. smh).

but, uh, this tangent technically has nothing to do with my initial complaints, it's just that at some point I started thinking of this naming stuff in tandem with nonsensical nicknames as they began appearing in fics together. which is a double homicide, truly.

and look, I definitely understand the desire to make Harry's original name something else cuz it fits nicely with POC Potters headcanon and Dursleys being racist dicks about it, but... Hadrian? I mean, it's not really a big deal when the fic mentions it being his full name but both narration and characters still refer to him as Harry for short - that makes total sense. however when after the name reveal Hadrian replaces Harry completely, it feels super weird and uncanny, making it hard to identify Harry's character in the story altogether.

although I guess you should all knock me off my high horse for being the biggest hypocrite ever, cuz I myself have a headcanon for Harry's name, even if it's less elaborate than Hadrian. also less Roman? that's another thing I don't get - if you want to create a better connection between Harry and his roots, why choose a name of a Roman emperor for a desi kid? since he's usually explicitly desi in all the Hadrian fics. so it's not that I have a problem with renaming him, per se, I just don't understand the choice of Hadrian.

for example, I recently read a fic where he was Pakistani and his name was originally Hami, which is a nice idea, actually, and makes sense for such headcanon. mine is Hari btw (हरि in Sanskrit), since I headcanon Potters as Indian, but I didn't come up with that name myself - just saw it somewhere a couple years ago and liked it. I think it's actually a pretty popular hc now? anyway, it's closer to Harry than any other name I've seen and has many beautiful meanings that resonate with what I think James and Lily felt towards their son. now, even though I still prefer his name being Harry regardless of ethnicity, I do entertain this silly headcanon from time to time - so yeah, I'm one to talk, boo me.

now, I probably should shut up since this rant has been entirely too negative already, but while I'm on the topic of icky names/nicknames I should circle back to wolfstar cuz gods know I'll never be brave enough to talk about this particular pet peeve in its own post.

Siri, Remu and Remy make my blood boil. Siri could be kinda cute when it's a silly childhood nickname from Regulus, but if any marauder or Lily calls Sirius that - immediate death. Si and Re are a teensy bit better in moderation and if used ironically, but still stab me in the chest. a couple times for good measure. the only somewhat acceptable short form of any of their two names for me is Rem, albeit with a stretch and only because it's an actual version of the name Remus in Catalan and Russian. I know I'm being way too dramatic about this (just like with all of my previous points) but I just don't understand the need to shorten their names. at all. they're only 3 and 2 syllables long and so mystical on their own that any shortening just makes them simultaneously more nonsensical and less remarkable.

both characters literally have established quirky nicknames in canon that you can play with and even shorten to Pads and Moons if you want. Sirius is not a digital assistant and Remus is not the main character from Ratatouille. stop this madness.

plus James is right there. his name has a ridiculous amount of diminutives - Jamie, Jimmy, Jim, Jam, Jem, Jay and even Jimbo if you're into that. why strip Remus and Sirius' magical names of their charm if you can have fun with common names? but I digress.

at the end of the day, my pet peeves are mine only and I should live with them in fragile peace. this post is a personal rant first and foremost and if you disagree, I'm genuinely happy that you enjoy the things I can't. fandom is a playground and we can all find some fun in different corners. I'd also like to point out that I'm not trying to take a jab at fic writers who use any of the aforementioned terms, names or diminutives. I'm only one person, so if I stop reading your work because of my petty biases, it's only my loss and not your problem. hundreds of other fans will enjoy it instead. so keep doing what you love and writing those characters however you want, it's your right!

so yeah, writers and readers - don't take it personally and have your fun! don't listen to me being mean! I'm just making my fandom experience way too convoluted for my own good.

[minhmynchi]

a lot of rambling; read if you want to lol but i would appreciate having more like-minded people to talk about this with! (tl;dr recently found out i have autism and it's turned my whole world upside down?)

don't know where to start bc this is a very new revelation for me but figured out that i have autism thanks to my gf (she has adhd) pointing out a million things??? and the past two days have just been me going through what i remember of my whole life and being all "oh so That's why i acted like that" or "so That's why i don't like this thing"

like i had an idea a year ago that i might've been neurodivergent but didn't know how, didn't know where to start bc i didn't know much of the signs or symptoms and at the time i didn't talk much to my gf bc we weren't together yet and thus didn't talk like literally every day about everyyyy little thing

but she had been telling me that my brother stacking cans was an autism thing (he's 2 and a half and still hasn't talked yet but hasn't been diagnosed) and i was like "lol but i did that too i thought everyone does that it can't be autism" and she was like "🤨 that's not the gotcha you think it is" and me going "lol sure whatever u say" but in reality i've been thinking about that for a little while lol like what did she mean by that....

and two nights ago we stayed up til 2am my time talking about it bc she was like "you know how you always wear bracelets and you never take them off? yeah, comfort items. you don't like soda bc of the carbonation? that's a texture thing. you also have a million plushies and like holding them when you go to sleep?? guess what, that's right, that's an autism thing" and went on and on and i just kept being like damn . Damn.

like more of a list here, i really really didn't think much of these things bc i thought it was Normal or just a weird little quirk for me bc everyone has weird little quirks right or that it was just an anxiety thing for me lol i didn't know much about autism and now i'm doing my best to research it all

- i don't like certain smells, like my mom gets hand soaps and some of them are really . eugh. visceral reaction from me even tho i used them bc it's still soap i thought i just had to get over it

- i like really basic foods and don't tend to try new things much; i hate cauliflower bc of the texture (i knew autistic ppl had problems w texture in foods but usually i can eat most things..! not that i try a lot of foods! i brushed it off until i remembered this while trying to think of signs that i have autism) i also hate soda and spicy food bc of the textures, otherwise i rly like it lol if they didn't have the textures they have then i would be so good rn

- me being all "oh yeah i just have fixations and stuff everyone has this" (has been deeply into isat for seven months now and feeling like it's dropping off my radar sends me into a slight state of panic if i think about it too much) but my friend who i asked if he noticed anything odd w me had said that me being sooo super duper into isat, he thought it was just a weird thing specific to me bc everyone is a little weird right and also nothing much else stuck out to him bc we also share a lot of anxiety things lol he said it Would make sense if i did have autism and it also would if i didn't but like. i thought uh. everyone was like this!!!! i thought everyone liked things so deeply they made it their entire personality... (having a job is awful bc i keep spending money on things i like... i have sooo many splatoon things and also i've been buying every isat thing and also games and also just a bunch of stuff i hoard and don't even get me started on comms lol i have sooo many ocs and i have phases of ocs i like so i get comms of them bc i start thinking about them out of nowhere......)

- which brings me to my next point; my gf told me ppl w adhd and/or autism usually seek out other ppl just like them but thinking about it, i don't think any of my friend groups are like me, i think 95% of my friends are all nt which is crazy, but then i think about how i'm here on tumblr and i feel comfortable cause everyone deeply likes isat too and i'm like :) yay let's go even tho i'm rly bad at talking to people like reallyyyyy bad i haven't made much new friends i think bc i'm so awful at talking (tho that's also evidence in and of itself isn't it)

- and so many things have gotten past me bc i guess i learned to mask so well i just pass off rly easily as a nt person.. cause i don't do things that make ppl immediately think something's up with me and the only reason my gf has caught this is bc again we talk every day and she has multiple friends w autism so she knows the signs she knows what to look for and it also has taken her this long to figure it out too like she had Suspicions. but didn't voice them bc she wasn't sure until a couple nights ago

and there's soooo many other things too but i already forgor and i wanna make a list to remember them all bc it's so much easier for me to remember things if i write them down

i'm just like siffrin in that i have a sieve-like brain my memory is so very terribly awful lol

but it's so interesting to think about!!! it's so relieving to know that there's actually a reason for like everything and it's not bc i'm broken or just a plain awful person or something

and it's not very noticeable!! i don't do any of the like. "stereotypical" things so no one ever (including me!!!!!) thinks anything of what i do bc i hide my weird things so well i guess

and i want to talk about it more with people!!!! like i said, i don't have many friends who have autism? and the ones i do have it to a degree that i don't i think... but i'm not sure. but i would like to reach out to them soon enough to hear about their experiences and that's why i'm here too!!! cause i want to know more about it bc yes i will have books to read on the matter but i want to know too from hearing from others, especially if one has autism the way i have it... and i'm 26 too which means it literally passed by people as a child and i wonder if i just learned to mask everything over time bc again i don't remember!!! anything!! which sucks lol. and didn't help that i kept being like "lol i can't have autism i don't do any of these things" i just didn't know 🙄 but i didn't know where to start looking, didn't know what could've been a symptom or not but just kept denying it bc my perception of it was very narrow and didn't think to look into it more to be sure.

and i'm not even professionally diagnosed but i've never been more sure of anything in my life now. and also eventually i want to be professionally diagnosed i would like that very much i just have to save up money

but anyways. long post is long enough thanks for reading if you do 🙏 and please please reach out bc idk who i can talk to more about autism i like thinking about it its literally 3:30 am and i have work in two hours but i couldn't stop thinking about wanting to talk to ppl about it!!!!

[lesbianphan]

Why do you feel upset? If you don't mind me asking

Hi, anon! It's hard to put into words, it isn't incredibly rational I don't think, and I see everyone having so much fun and all I want is to join in, even though I am not really feeling it. I'm afraid that me saying stuff will make me sound like not good enough to be a part of this community, so it's kinda difficult. So I'll put it under a read more I suppose, and if anyone cares they can click it and if not I'll just keep reblogging others being happy and trying to feel it myself too. I'm sure I'll feel better about it in time

Ok so the thing is: I have a real visceral reaction to Dan pretending to be grossed out by phan. I understand that his brand is being a hater, he likes to pretend to hate things. I get that they have a right to portray their relationship in whichever way they see fit and at the end of the day it's none of my business. I'm aware of all of these things and I KNOW that I'm wrong for feeling like I want to cry about it (and even worse for actually crying). The thing is, I'm slightly triggered by it in a weird way. His pretense that even though they're quite openly together it's somehow disgusting for them to be affectionate is something I often expect not to be a running gag anymore, but somehow even after all these years it still is.

Did I think the video was mean spirited? Absolutely not. But I remember when things were mean-spirited and I guess it triggers me a little. I do think they have a right to reveal whatever they want and make fun of us, since we do deserve it for the record.

I also don't like that this kind of content (especially when it breaks containment) is a breeding ground for comments like some I've already been seeing: so glad you guys can joke about this after those nasty shippers tried to ruin your lives, etc etc. People who don't believe they are a couple aren't laughing with us, they're laughing AT US and shaming us for destroying their lives (which we never did) and think they're getting revenge from us.

Anyway my brain is messy I'm sorry about this ramble. I can't love every single thing they do, but it sure hurts to see everyone having fun and try as I might being unable to enjoy it the way others did. I do wish everyone a really fun time. I might take the day away from tumblr idk haven't decided yet.

[shiveringgroovy]

coming off anon to feed you more headcanon asks

you answered an ask about social medias but heres for the real good stuff

fandom headcanons? who watches what, who reads, who is blissfully unaware of the community they're surrounded by, etc

jesus christ i'm going insane for this one. started this in april uhm hi chat i'm alive again (october)

ATSUSHI

doesn't participate in fandom spaces tbh

but he's into some old-school games

don't ask me why i think this but he's an emulator guy

DAZAI

HOMESTUCK. HE WAS IN THE HOMESTUCK FANDOM NO I DO NOT TAKE CRITIQUE

crazy into it too. keyboard warrior about it. ranpo was there

bless his heart

YOSANO

cult classic films !!

really into the craft, kill bill, maybe the scream franchise ? also perchance saw but not after the third movie

doesn't participate in online fandom spaces because she has better media literacy than everyone else

RANPO

homestuck and hetalia

need i say more

KYOUKA

saw because yosano got her into it. (her favorite is saw 3 because yuri)

and sanrio. ik it's a common headcanon but i think it fits !!!

loves a lot horror films/franchises but saw, the exorcist, and alien are her favs

also i think she likes cheesy shoujo romance anime!!!

HIGUCHI

you can't tell me she's not a himefujoshi on ao3 and tumblr

into tons of animes and shows

writes insane comments on ao3 too. many an author has questioned her sanity

has gotten into proship discourse before

she also like vocaloid, her favorite is megurine luka and has visceral reactions when you call teto a vocaloid

CHUUYA

be fr he would not give a shit about fandoms

dazai tried to get him into some of the stuff he liked as a teen but it never worked

he watched breaking bad though i guess

GIN

they loveee the scream franchise

has a ghostface mask they post pictures with from time to time

does not play at ALL about stu/billy

TACHIHARA

also into scream

really likes video games as well!! legend of zelda and the elder scrolls WHOA WHO SAID THAT

LOUISA

she's a fujoshi. draws yaoi on her plans

only really into fluffy stuff

tumblr girlie for SURE. hides her account like drugs even though it's just fluffy bl manga and art

NIKOLAI

he's a horror fiend and lurks online for content because duh

watches heavy gore/body horror films like it's instagram reels

i think he tries to keep his digital footprint clean for obvious reasons but if he sees a take so bad he'll tell op to die brutally

he's totally that guy to say "this is MILDDD" to the people he's watching american psycho with. he's an ass about his preferences sorry

SIGMA

they have better things to do ???

TERUKO

idk how to explain it but she's really into nana, tomie, uzumaki, and other darker/grittier manga/anime

and yuri/gl. she doesn't play about her toxic screwed up yuri

she seems like a whump fan. fucking up that dead dove with her hunting dog teeth

[tartrat]

Kapyy, Talia Family headcanon

Will any of this make sense? Idk. family portrait and explainations below. This is going to be a bit long. Also Talia's look here is just her appearance in the saloon with her hair from the chorus of ikywt. I keep mentioning this headcanon so i thought that i should show my headcanon for the family first. Its my birthday tomorrow and i'm sitting here doing this, at least its fun to share stuff like this.

For a bit of context, i was in Greece back in July, and one night when i was trying to sleep i had the thought "What if Kapyy and Talia Sway are twins who were separated at birth" and it just spiralled from there.

Their parents are the coaches from Giddy on Up and Blinding Lights extreme, who i will refer to as GOU and BLE from now on. Why did i choose these two for this headcanon? Country break up song and futuristic spinning (i actually forgot that Talia spins around quite a bit in IKYWT).

Kapyy was kidnapped after birth and taken to Cyberfunk. No one is entirely sure who they were but BLE has his suspicions that it was someone he used to know. I'm not going into the kidnapper fully yet, but she used to date BLE and then he found out that she wanted to fully control him so he got out of Cyberfunk and went to Wasterra. Then he met GOU and they fell in love and got married. Eventually GOU finds out she's pregnant with twins. After the birth Kapyy was kidnapped leaving Talia as the Kidnapper was caught in the act and fled. The Kidnapper brought Kapyy to Cyberfunk where she placed him in an orphanage where she could monitor him, to bring him up and use him to spite his father. Which inevitably backfired on her as Kapyy ended up in Wasterra where the rest of his family is.

They resemble their mother and father respectively however, Kapyy gets his hair and eye colour from GOU and the same for Talia from her dad. For this BLE is a natural blonde who dyes his hair black. I also see the goggles that BLE wears as glasses, Talia also needs glasses but she wears contact lenses most of the time.

Height wise, this is a family of giraffes lol. BLE is the tallest at 6"2, with GOU just Below him at 6' 1", and Talia and Kapyy being half an inch apart at 5' 11" and 5'11.5" respectively. Wow i really do think that they are Dipper and Mabel Pines lol.

You know what, Talia and Kapyy's relationship is sort of like Dipper and Mabel from Gravity falls in the sense that they ground each other. Though Talia does find it strange that she has a brother. Talia does get annoyed with how energetic Kapyy is and Kapyy can get annoyed with her seriousness but they find that they do balance each other out.

Kapyy finds it difficult to connect with his parents, mainly because of how he has only known them for a bit. He is mainly worried that he might do something wrong. That's why in the family portrait he is standing a bit away. This sort of comes from how he could never really connect with anyone, but eventually he does managed to connect with them.

However the two were overjoyed that their son had returned to them after he had been kidnapped, and welcomed him with open arms.

I'm not sure if any of this will make sense, i feel like i just blurted out a bunch of words.

A lot of this is formed from Talia. Considering that she is based on Taylor swift, who is 5' 11" and has a brother (Albeit a younger one and not a twin), it just started to make this headcanon make more sense to me.

There's more to this headcanon but i just wanted to focus on the family first. Honestly after i initially came up with it i just thought it would be cute. Though I do have a short plotline with this that i kinda want to write down. The "Visceral Reaction" post is part of that. There are also other things that i have relating to this headcanon that i want to explain better. It will be funny if they actually give these two families and i have to scrap this headcanon entirely.

Here’s an in progress pic that I thought was funny because Kapyy and BLE's clothes weren't blended yet. Agates be like:

Also Kapyy's kidnapper and BLE's ex is Nithe Long, but i'm not going to explain why i'm having her be the kidnapper in full right now.

[pikatrainer99]

So...I figured I should probably elaborate on Kieran after my last reblog so you all get where I'm coming from with my stance on him...

(Basically the TLDR of this post is this: I like Kieran much better when he's like this, look how happy he is, it's adorable 🥺)

(He legit terrifies me when he's like this though...😖)

My thoughts on him changed drastically throughout my playthrough of the DLC multiple times...and I'm gonna explain why.

First, when I first met him in the Teal Mask, I thought he was an adorkable socially awkward shy bean and I loved him because I'm very much the same way. Being (what seemed to me like) his first friend reminded me of how much of my childhood I spent friendless and the joy I felt at finally having one friend back in my last year of elementary school. As the Teal Mask story went on though, Kieran started to change...and I didn't know how to feel about the direction his character was headed...because it triggered traumatic memories in me...memories of that friend I had finally made...well...one day suddenly revealing that the friendship was never genuine and that they hated me the whole time, and they betrayed me...in a HARD-HITTING WAY...completely out of the blue, too...I had no idea what was happening with them or what I had done to deserve that awful treatment, but it didn't matter because I still got that treatment. I'm not going to go into the details because it's still terrifying to think about...but it was BAD...bad enough that I have severe PTSD because of this person. So, as you might expect from what I just told you, the way Kieran just suddenly turned on me in the Teal Mask story really made me have to make sure to use my coping skills and calming strategies in order to not have a PANIC ATTACK over a VIDEO GAME. And the ending of the Teal Mask where Kieran seemed to HATE me made me feel really scared for the Indigo Disk story and I tried my best to not think about it too much until it came out because I always felt nauseous if I thought about it. And even when it came out it took me a long time to be able to bring myself to finally play it... Kieran's new look reminded me even more of my real life friend turned bully I mentioned above, who also changed their look and even dyed their hair to a similar purple-ish color after the whole incident (yes I know Kieran didn't dye his hair, it's naturally purple-ish underneath, but my point still stands, it was similar enough to trigger me further), and I had a panic attack over it when I saw it in the trailer before the Indigo Disk came out. My thoughts were basically 'This is middle school all over again...' and I was not looking forward to facing the memories again, it was making me feel more and more anxious and sick as each day passed and it got closer to the release of the Indigo Disk. I also had more and more nightmares about that real life person which made me more and more tired and irritable, so that was not fun either. But...I knew I had to play it eventually, so to prepare myself for my own playthrough, I decided to prepare myself both physically and mentally by watching other people's playthroughs of the story first...multiple times. You have no idea how relieved I was when I found out that the story had a happy ending and Kieran was able to snap out of it, feel serious remorse, and resolve to change his ways and make everything right again. As you can probably guess from how visceral my reactions to this entire thing were, that did NOT happen with my real life friend turned bully...I'm pretty sure that individual still hates my guts to this day and I still to this day have absolutely NO CLUE what I did to make them turn on me so viciously like that. Anyway, I watched probably ten or twelve playthroughs on YouTube before I finally worked up the courage to play it myself. I finally finished it yesterday and I am glad that everything ended all well and good. I am so relieved and I am back to being a Kieran fan again now that he is back to his normal adorkable self. Now I only have the epilogue left to do in Violet and then I have to go through the entire DLC again in Scarlet...but I think I'll be fine for the DLC playthrough in Scarlet now that I've experienced everything in Violet.

So yeah, lots of complicated emotions and visceral reactions and stuff with my view of this fictional video game character...but I couldn't help it since he was a legit PTSD trigger for me during the last bit of the Teal Mask and the majority of the Indigo Disk...at least he's back to normal now though.

Anyway, what are you guys' thoughts on Kieran? How did you react throughout his arc? Which look do you like better on him, hair up or down? Feel free to let me know your thoughts on Kieran in the comments below!