#i'm living with some weird uncertainty right now

[beaversatemygrandma]

As it turns out, my mom is basically doing her plan she couldn't do in March. She's going up to TN and touring houses.

She wants to find a small town. A quiet area. Less traffic, less noise, more distant neighbors. Comfortable walking areas. A pretty looking place out in the mountains. I can't even blame her. FL is too much to live in. The small town we moved to in 2010 is now bustling and loud and now the neighborhood has closer and louder and richer neighbors. There's a new fire station on the other side of this previously small neighborhood. The main road is now constantly like a highway and there's new emergency vehicles instead of relying on the one in the neighborhood near us (which is big enough to be a postal designated area that isn't even technically counted in the town population). It's hot, it's loud. It's overwhelming. I can't even blame her.

Turns out this weekend is basically a look around weekend. If she finds the perfect two bedroom house up there, she might just put down the down payment. Her house is going to go up on the market after she finds one. At a whopping $400k. (this place was 110k when we got there. jeez.)

But the thing is, she wants me to go with her. She wants me to move with her and she actually wants me around. She wants to be the one to help. She wants to actually be a mother to me for the first time since i was maybe 12. A little late, but wow. I'm curious how she's going to go about it but i have a feeling we're going to end up pretty in touch with nature again. I feel like it's going to be our time in VA again, but this time I'm not a feral 10yo in the woods. Instead I'll be a feral 24yo with a damn job. It'll be the blue ridge again. I love that area. I can't even say no to that really.

But all the plans I've been making. The long distance thing I've been in with the hope motivating me to keep going in working to go back to the hellhole that is FL. Basically the reason i suddenly had a reason to keep going again. I'm hoping I can manage to get down there before she fully moves out. I can help her move. I just want a couple months down there. I want to spend some time with this guy. I want to have a few nights of him around the entire time. I want his time and affection for a while, just to get a taste of what I've been waiting for this entire time. I want to get into our plans without the internet being in the way. Like we're already planning our Plan B. We genuinely want to have a feeling of a bit of life together. Basically that will be getting our shit together enough to have enough money saved up to basically up and move somewhere affordable and get a nice little place together. Find a state where i won't be harassed for going to the bathroom while being non-conforming, and a state where he won't have to pay a hundred bucks a month just to go on living. I know there has to be at least one state out there that i can not be harassed and he can have easier access to insulin. At least one. I just don't want to leave my home. I know i did a while ago but I've been trying to get back since. I want to be around the town i know and the people I've cared about since middle school. I don't want to be back to where i was in elementary where i went through 3-4 different schools and was always the new kid. Hell, how do you even fare as the 'new kid' as an adult?

My mom wants to restart fresh. I've had that as a weird pipe dream. I didn't think I'd do it with her. I thought it would be me moving to some small town with a partner and finally just changing my name and riding on the fact that these people have never seen me gender conforming before. I wasn't expecting this.

I kind of want to. But i also kind of REALLY want to at least have a month or two with the current partner. We haven't seen each other since we were 17. I want to know him outside of school. I want to find out what he's like personally now outside of a phone call. I want to know what those cute little vocal quirks look like now. I want to know his love language. I want to have all of this even though it would be short lived and we'd have to wait to go further for another few years. I just want to know what it's like first. I still never thought i'd fall for this guy but shit. I'm in too deep for a sudden change of plans and a move to an even further out state.

I hope that we get to stay in the house in FL for at least until the end of the year. I just want some time to say goodbye to home. At least the place I've called home since i was 10. I've been stuck in a place where i feel like i was dropped off with my dad for the summer and my mom just never picked me up. And now she's wanting to pick me up and take me somewhere new. It's terrifying. It's exciting but i dread it. I've been crying for the past 24 hours.

[sturniolosass]

I..want you - C.S

In which Chris tries to handle a relationship that he’s no where near ready for, and you can’t have your emotions be toyed with…

warnings: swearing, feeling neglected, uncertainty, hurt feelings, talking stage chris.

ANGST, FAT ANGST!

Chris and I have been in this "talking" stage for around 3 months but the thing is stuff has been getting really serious and its gotten to the point where we've become so attached to one another that we see each other each day and sleep in each others beds, at one point we both spoke on marriage.. not like seriously about it but what we’d like to gain from it..if you get what i mean.

But this pass week somethings been off, I've texted, I've called, I've messaged him through DMs for christ's sake.. No reply..

So today I've been contemplating heading over to the boy's place and seeing what's been going on.. maybe he's sick, maybe he's down in a rut about something... I'm not sure but I need to see what's going on maybe I'll stop by and even find out they're out of internet or something.. I couldn't imagine the reason Chris would ghost me for 3 whole days.. He doesn't even seem like the type of guy to go talking to a bunch of girls, I couldn't imagine him being unfaithful to me, even though we're barely a couple to begin with.. regardless heading over there wouldn't hurt that bad... at least I hope not..

Getting dressed I head out the door sending chris one last message before I head out to his home.

Hey, I'm headed over, i know I wasn't invited so if you don't want me over or something just let me know...

I wait 10 minutes, No response

I grab my keys and head out the door.

Arriving I hop out the car to knock on the door, I'm greeted with Matt. "Yo! what's up, Chris should still be sleep but he's in the basement if you wanna wake em" he greets. "hey, yeah I've been looking for him" I speak. He let's me in walking up the steps to the living room.. I immediately head to the back of the house towards Chris' room, walking down the steps and then the hallway leading up to his door. I hesitate, thinking of all the things that could possibly go wrong when I turn this door knob.. twisting the door knob I'm met with a pitch black room.. a sleeping Chris laying flat on his stomach with one knee bent up north.

I just sit at the edge of the bed contemplating whether or not I should wake him and risk being greeted with his morning anguish.. Being the pussy I am, I just kick off my shoes and lay with him, picking his arm up off the bed and snuggling under it cozily.. He moves mumbling under his breathe inaudible words... I soon fall asleep right next to him..

Chris' POV

I wake up unexpectedly cuddled into y/n confused as to how she amazingly got into my room yet alone my house... Things like this genuinely annoy me, I've started to distance myself for some time now because of how serious we were getting, it began to really freak me out.. from the goodmorning messages to the worrying about my sleep schedule... things started feeling all too real. Don't get me wrong I really, really like y/n but us doing all these lovey-dovey things really scares me... aggravated I head upstairs to find out who the fuck just let her come down here while I was sleeping... Once I'm up the stairs I see Nick and Matt sitting at the dining room table, Nick editing, Matt eating cereal. "ouuu Mr. lover boy is up, how was you cuddle session?" Matt jokes.."Matt shut the fuck up, who the fuck- who just let y/n in my room and when did that happen? I didn't even go to bed until like 4 am so I know it was one of you fucking early birds" I ask angrily grabbing a Brisk can from the fridge.. "wasn't me." Nick blurts.. "who cares, its not like she was gonna murder you.. she said she was looking for you.." Matt explains.. "bro I was ignoring her for a reason.." I shout.. "well she's here now, what were you gonna ghost her something? did she do something?" He asks.. "yeah she's getting all weird and clingy and shit.." .... "like asking 'how my day was' and' if I slept well' and shit" I add... Matt looks at me weirdly "you mean caring about your well being? you're such an idiot" He gets up from the table heading to his room.. "GRAB YOUR FUCKING BOWL IM NOT YOUR MAID" Nick nearly busts my ear drums yelling at Matt.. "dude are you crazy?" I ask heading to the steps that lead to my bedroom.. "shut up bitch" Nick rolls his eyes...

Your POV

I wake up in Chris' bed alone.. not worried where he went I just wait for him to come back down the steps which is where I assume he went, starting to scroll on TikTok I hear Nick scream at the top of his lungs about 'being a maid' which I laugh at..

I then hear Chris heading back down the stairs, I hurriedly sit up fix my hair worried of what he'll have to say to me, then I start to think of what I should say to him.. I don't even know how I feel.. I wanna talk about us moving forward in our relationship but I also need to figure out why he's been acting all distant lately, I hope he doesn't think I haven't noticed.. because to be honest it feels like he has literally blocked me out of his life for the past 3-4 days..

He enters the room I stare down at my feet He walks straight pass me.. I look up. He heads straight into his bathroom... I flop back down on his bed..

Getting up from the bed I decide to make it, fluffing the duvet, tucking the sheets , fluffing the pillows.. Chris has been in the bathroom for around an hour now, I hear music, assuming he's in the shower, I clean a little more. Throwing away Pepsi cans and food casing from last night, I assume.. grabbing dirty clothes off the floor throwing them in his hamper... Suddenly I hear the water and music stop.. shuffling in the bathroom continues until Chris comes out in fresh love sweats and a black tank top, dropping his dirty clothes on the bed near his bed and heading over to his computer, I grab them and throw then in the hamper to which I assume irritates Chris.. "Can you stop!" Chris shouts... "wha-" I start to speak soon being cut off, "like you're being weird leave my clothes where I left then I didn't ask you to clean for me!" He adds.. "I mean what else am I supposed to do? You've been ignoring my presence sense I got here!" I shout back... "go home! I don't fucking know!" He replies.. "what the fuck is even your problem? like what have I even done for you to react this way to me cleaning for you?" I ask genuinely confused... He doesn't respond.. "hellooo" I speak in a questioning manner... “maybe i just don’t like you anymore and don’t need you to be here, i’m starting to even question why i did in the first place like you’re being so fucking annoying and clingy” he huffs… “all you do is bug me now gosh!” he adds…. I look to the ground genuinely hurt… it honestly makes sense, every guy i like always ends up ghosting me and it makes sense why at this point.. i can’t help that i am too “caring”.. apparently that freaks out a lot of guys..

“what so this is how you treat every girl you like? or liked?” i ask.

"I was ready to drop everything and be your girlfriend, in fact my plan today was to come ask you to be with me..I was ready for everyone to know how we've been these pass few months and not give a fuck what any hater or 'fan has to say.." I say holding back emotions.. "I never said I was ready for that, I never spoke on being together like that" He speaks.. "So what? we were just gonna be 'talking' for however long?" I ask. No response.. He just continues to stare at his computer screen. I just look back and sit down on his bed. blinking back tears.. He stares at the computer screen, nothing on it, not scrolling, no video, no music, nothing... Just staring, deep in thought...

We sit in silence for around 10 minutes before I speak again

"Chris?, can you say something? because I've done nothing but try to keep things working between us.. You've ignored me for almost 3 days when before you'd message me everyday 'How are you' , 'come over' , 'when are you free' , 'lets see a movie' , 'lets hang out before I leave for Boston.' " I count off examples.. "I just don’t get how we can go from something so good.. or what I thought was good, to you completely ignoring my existence." I add.. He continues to stare at the blank screen, until.. "I don't know okay, I just feel weird when I'm around you? you're always so caring and shit like that freaks me the fuck out..." he breaks silence. "I never feel this deep of feelings for anything, its fucking annoying.." He adds... "Well, I care about you.. its true, I care about how you slept, I care if you have a nightmare, I care if you feel a cold coming on, I care if you're upset with how much I care... because I genuinely like you Chris, and I don't know maybe this is one of those " right person, wrong time" moments because I feel like we deserve each other..." I speak whole-heartedly.. He just stares at his hands... I stand up.. "maybe in another life then?" I ask headed for the door... He doesn't respond.

I grab the door knob opening it slowly hoping he'd say something to keep me from leaving...n

"wait" he speaks "I wanna try- I want you- I wanna be with you..." he adds looking up from the floor despair in his eyes. "Chris I just don't feel like you're ready for what I'm ready for.." I reply.. “i’m ready- i am” he pleads… “how when just a moment ago you were telling me you were unsure if you even liked me” i ask… He looks down at his hands, I grab my bag and keys walking out of the room..

I hear him get up rushing out the room, he slows down once he sees me standing at the steps. Walking up to me slowly he pulls me in for a kiss, which i kindly reject hoping he gets the hint.. “i like you a lot Y/N.. i just- i need time to understand my self more. i’ve been used and hurt so many times..” he tells.. I just look at his hands in mine.. letting go i turn to walk up the steps… “can i call you later?” he asks.. I turn back “i feel like time apart might actually be what we need at this time, my feelings are genuinely hurt by the things you’ve said to me today” i reply. “i didnt mean it- you know that…” he looks up at me… I walk up the steps walking past Nick and leaving the boys house “bye Y/N see you sometime again hopefully, i know my brothers an asshole” Nick yelps from the dinning table…

I smile walking out the door.. knowing that’s possibly the end of my friendship with the boys…

fin.

A/N: the long awaited.. sorry yall i got busy but here it is!!! Hope yall like Chris and his trust issues!

taglist- @junnniiieee07 @frankdelreyy @ireadstoriss @freshsturns @unbruisable

[creature-wizard]

I see this (alien abduction communities) having a lot in common with ROMCOA stuff. The Controversial History of Alien Abductions by Kaz Rowe on Youtube (https://youtu.be/of8igM9WFWc?si=LrE_pCrDUMbujQah) What people may get out of ROMCOA (Validation of trauma in a way that is more obviously bad and may be not be as emotionally difficult due to a less personal abuse or mistreatment having clearer motivations.) is different, but the conspiracism of it feels similar.

I say this as a system who has skirted the edge of ROMCOA stuff for reasons like those stated above, but I wondered if you'd have any thoughts on it. (If it's of any interest, I'll send a separate ask with thoughts on the why/how we've dodged the ROMCOA bullet despite being drawn to it, but that's a significant tangent. Also sorry to be anon, I'm shy.)

(To anyone reading this: If you've heard the term "RAMCOA" but haven't heard how it originated among conspiracy theorists and was always meant to push conspiracy theories within legitimate psychiatry, further information is provided at the end.)

Oh yeah, you are absolutely right. I've been comparing these two things for awhile now, and it's basically two presentations of the same exact social phenomena.

You usually have somebody with psychological or physical problems that seem to defy explanation, but are very likely related to something like anxiety, depression, chronic stress, PTSD, C-PTSD, BPD, schizophrenia, bipolar, autism, ADHD, allergies, mast cell activation syndrome, or fibromyalgia. Y'know, a lot of the kinds of things that doctors will dismiss as "all in your head," or that just aren't that well-understood by the public, or might not seem possible because they underestimate just how traumatizing their life actually was.

The way they fall into it is nearly always the same; they never really "remember" any of it until they start coming across literature and people who introduce them to the idea of RAMCOA or alien abduction. And of course by this point a lot of them are absolutely desperate for some kind of explanation or validation, so they look deeper into it. They start learning and absorbing the tropes and narratives that go along with whatever mythology, so to speak, that they've fallen into. Then when they undergo hypnosis, they start "remembering" events that just so happen to line up with whichever narrative they've been exposing themselves to.

There are other groups doing this same thing with their own narratives, of course. In New Age and neopagan contexts, people often seek explanation and validation by trying to uncover past lives. In fact, the whole entire practice of undergoing hypnosis to recover lost memories actually began with people trying to find their past lives.

A common thread is that people remember something that pretty much everybody would agree would be absolutely terrible to endure. Whether you're "remembering" being burned at the stake for witchcraft, eating the heart of a ritually murdered child, fleeing the destruction of Atlantis, or aliens performing invasive procedures on your body, there's no ambiguity or uncertainty that what supposedly happened is horrible. In a society that constantly tells people that they haven't had it bad enough to be traumatized, because real trauma can only come from something way more severe than what they're experiencing, it's just no surprise that this keeps happening. Their subconscious minds seek the images and narratives that seem to align with the distress they're feeling.

It's been observed that what people experience while under hypnosis is basically the same as what they experience while dreaming. What they experience isn't necessarily logical; in fact, it's often far from it. Weird, surreal stuff just happens out of nowhere. People just do things with no genuinely reasonable motive.

In the context of RAMCOA, this is often handwaved away with "well, they're cultists, this is obviously part of their weird cult practices." This is not only an incredibly weak explanation for most of this stuff, but when you look at other supposedly recovered memories, you just can't help but notice that this is a pattern in every belief system people try to recover memories in, so trying to do this for supposed cases of SRA and the like is just special pleading.

And yeah, if you wanna share your story, I'd love to hear it!

For anyone reading this who isn't aware: The term "Ritual Abuse, Mind Control & Organized Abuse", or RAMCOA, is not an innocent catch-all term for religious abuse, institutional abuse, sex trafficking, etc. It was coined by conspiracy theorists in order to repackage Satanic Ritual Abuse/Satanic Panic/Project Monarch alter programming conspiracy theories into something they could pass off as legitimate science/research. Essentially, it's a Trojan horse for far right bullshit. For more information, see Cathy O'Brien - The First Project Monarch "Survivor" and Fritz Springmeier and Cisco Wheeler: Two Of The Most Dangerous Conspiracy Theorists Most People Have Never Heard Of.

[meowmeowmeowmeow4x]

Dark Blue Moon and the Suffering Sun Part 3

Danny would guess they'd gone about 20 miles by the time he'd stopped. They were well within Siren Territory by then, not that that was any comfort, considering the source of most of the trouble in the last six months, but distance was distance. Thankfully, none of his usual enemies bothered to rear their heads, likely licking their wounds from their last encounters.

In a tiny cave blocked off by kelp and coral, Danny leaned back against a wall and caught his breath. Damian had been silent for most of the swim, which was a small blessing. It let Danny think; think about what happens next. The tiny siren loosened himself from Danny's arms, and did a few cursory flaps of his fins.

"Where have you been taking me?" Damian mumbled.

"Around. Can't exactly double back to Amity right now." He hoped Bruce Wayne was an accepting man. He'd adopted kids from all manner of backrounds, but that didn''t help the same nagging uncertainty that plagued him whenever he thought about his own parents. If he'd just doomed Damian to a life without his father, he didn't know if he could live with himself.

Damian floated to the other side of the cave, his eyes on Danny the whole time, arms crossed in a scowling expression.

"And then?"

"I don't know. I give you back to your dad? I wasn't exactly planning out every step earlier."

"Then what were you thinking?" Damian's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Do you suggest I return to the public, to school looking like this? I can hardly breathe over water, let alone walk."

"I don't know! I just..." Danny poked his finger webbing. "I've been doing this for six months. And the whole time, even if it was hard and painful, I never lost someone. No one ever, well." Danny swallowed thickly.

Damian huffed. "You are a poor excuse of a hero."

"I failed you, there's no denying it. I was too late, and I let you drown. I'm sorry. There was no other way, I swear."

Danny looked up to Damian again, but the smaller boy looked away, his expression unreadable. "Take me back."

Yeah, that wasp probably the best he could do for Damian now. Bruce Wayne was probably having the mother of all freakouts, and if Damian never wanted to see Danny again, then that was fine. He was sure the world's richest man would be able to accommodate Damian's needs just fine. Rich people were weird like that.

It took some begrudging glares, but Damian at least allowed Danny to take his hand and use his much better swimming skills, but Damian didn't look very happy about it. Then again, today was probably the worst day in the kid's life.

They were approaching the island at rapid pace, its lustrous palm trees swaying in the distance, a promise of stability, and safety at last.

Motors hummed in the water. Danny's blood froze. Immediately he submerged and ducked near the sea floor.

"What is this delay for? Let me see." Damian pushed against Danny's hand, but the older boy kept firm.

"Patrol boats. Dozens of them. And they're all on high alert. And they've got Fenton tech. Shit."

"Can't you swim past them?"

Danny sputtered. What was this kid thinking? He wasn't some god of the sea! "I can't fight thirty boats by myself! They're gonna skewer us both!"

"What about your camouflage?"

"That would've worked a couple months ago, but these guys have got Fenton Sonars."

Damian did a double take. "The Fentons? You mean the town crackpots?"

Ouch, his parents were a little obsessed, but they definitely weren't crazy. Not anymore. "The town siren hunters. And yeah maybe Jack's not great at hunting, but their inventions work. I've got a scar or two to prove it."

"My father is on that island." Damian growled. "You have to do something."

"But it's not your dad on those boats, is it?" Danny furrowed his brow. "Those guys don't see you as human, or even sentient. They think you're another monster to be studied."

"No thanks to you." Damian challenged.

Danny growled back. "I was saving you! And now you wanna be un-saved?"

They glared into each other's eyes. Danny should really feel bad about squaring up to this literal child, but man was he difficult not to get annoyed at. Deep breaths, Danny, deep breaths. This was going to be more difficult than he imagined.

Damian glared at Phantom, the supposed siren superhero of Amity Park. He wanted to scream, to yell and to cut something open, preferably Phantom, if he weren't his only ticket home, and if only he had his weapons on him.

Such a loss of composure would be beneath him, so he remained stubbornly defiant.

As much as he wished for it not to be the case, Phantom was in all likelihood correct. This horrid, horrid body was new to him. Dozens, no, hundreds of foreign sensations flared from every part of his person, each impulse sending his body wobbling in new, unexpected directions. He would never get through the blockade on his own, which killed half of his initial plans. These blasted sonars killed the other half.

Damian grit his teeth. "Fine." He said, despite the embarrassment welling up at having to admit defeat. "But this conversation is not over."

"I bet." Phantom said, the infuriating cur.

By Damian's estimates, it should have been around midnight when Phantom stopped. They took refuge underneath a larger cave, filled with sparse furniture, a rug and some tables, with dark green curtains over the entrance. Small glowing jellyfish provided faint light. It seemed like the hopelessly domestic scene Jonathan would enjoy.

Damian slithered (He didn't crawl or shuffle. He was too dignified) into the corner of the cave, where he assumed a defensive position and poured all his seething hatred into glaring at Phantom.

"Welcome to Casa de Phantom! Or at least one of them. I've got a couple hideouts here and there. I'd say 'make yourself at home,' but I guess you beat me to the punch." Phantom said with a laugh. How dare he!

Damian hissed. "Tt. I am taking advantage of the opportunity for respite while taking necessary precaution against a rogue element."

"A rogue element? I don't know if you're serious or just pulling my tailfin."

"Do not test me, Phantom."

"Right. Look, I'm gonna go get us some food, so just stay put or something or other. I won't be long and then we can talk about where we go next. Oh, and don't touch anything!"

Damian growled at him again for good measure. Phantom exited the cave in short order, leaving Damian with ample opportunity for investigation. He wouldn't be a Robin if he didn't seize this opportunity.

Damian uncoiled himself and pulled his body along the soft sand. The grains tickled and pricked at his scales. The tables held a number of different gadgets and tools. Human clothes like t-shirts, a few vests and belts were scattered around. The bench held various strange devices, like a glowing blue lipstick, and a thermos of all things. Damian knocked on the thermos, the clanging sound confirming it was hollow. The most incriminating detail of all, however, was the distinctive F logo branded onto the side of each and every device.

How does a siren with no legs acquire so many inventions from siren hunters? He supposes they really are better siren hunting inventors than proper fighters. It was a miracle Jack Fenton hadn't drowned by now, considering how he conducted himself in a fight.

The thermos was lightweight, its metal settling gently against his webbed hands. Videos of Phantom's exploits have been scarce, and grainy, showing very few useable details. Various buttons and lights adorned the thermos, showing it was no ordinary soup holder.

Damian popped the cap off. The thermos' interior contained a circular mechanism of some kind. "What in the world?" Surely this could not be a weapon. The cylindrical design and lack of handholds would have made it too unwieldy. The kickback from any shot would throw off the wielder's aim every time. As Damian peered and tried to get a closer look, his finger slipped on one of the buttons. Blast.

The thermos whined. Its interior glowed blindingly bright. Before Damian could react, a blue beam engulfed his body. Damian felt his body warp and compress into a tiny space, before his vision went dark.

Damian awoke, vision blurry and head pounding. Phantom's smug face floated above him.

"And that's why I told you not to touch anything."

Damian shook off the grogginess and sat up, almost colliding with Phantom's face. "What manner of trap was that? Were you attempting to disfigure me once again for your sick pleasure?! En garde!"

Damian was no good swimmer in this form, but it was easy to launch himself off the floor and into Phantom. Phantom, for his part, didn't sit idly like the last time. He raised his arm and blocked off Damian's access to his neck, a shame, but that did not stop Damian sinking his teeth into Phantom's flesh.

That is, if he could actually penetrate his skin.

Damian blinked in shock. Sirens were supposed to have razor sharp teeth. He'd seen those fangs in Phantom's own mouth. He should be drawing blood right now, but as he was he was barely denting Phantom's scales.

Phantom laughed, as if it just tickled. "Dude, I literally let you out of the thermos. It's not a 'trAP to diSFiguRe yOu fOR mY sIcK PleaSuRe,' it's just a containment device for sirens. Also can you stop that please, it tickles."

Damian flung himself off of Phantom's arm, retreating back into his corner. "How have I not drawn blood?! This is madness!" Damian sucked in breaths through his gills, an endlessly foreign and vulnerating sensation. "The only useful thing about this body was supposed to be its natural offensive capabilities, yet it is unable to achieve even that!"

"Siren kids just have blunter claws and teeth. Youngblood's the same."

"Do not call me a child!"

"Your claws will grow in over time, it's just the nature of things."

"You say that as if you will not return me to my true human form."

Phantom shifted uncomfortably.

Damian pressed. "Well?"

"Yeah about that..."

"Do not tell me you have no way to reverse it!"

Phantom's look of guilt sealed it. Damian's heart sank. Goodbye Robin, goodbye previous life. All his hard work and sacrifice for naught. Phantom had saved him from death by drowning, but suddenly Damian felt as if he were better off dead anyway.

Tears built up. What was happening to him? He hadn't cried since he was five years old, a show of weakness that grandfather had beaten out of him. Then again, he was really one year old back then, artificially grown to a competent age.

"H-hey, d-don't cry or anything, I was just-"

"I am not crying!" Damian shouted. He turned away from Phantom and stuffed his face into his tail, praying somehow the tears would go away on their own. He was Damian Wayne, son of Batman and daughter of Talia Al Ghul, there was no such thing as crying for him, none at all. There had been nothing, absolutely nothing he had been unable to overcome. He was going to overcome this, no matter what. These things he knew.

Why had this feeling not abated?

There had to be a solution, there just had to be. There had to be some kind of surgery that could split his tail into legs again. No that was absurd, what kind of quack surgeon can completely alter someone's species? Perhaps magic instead? Normally he hated the involvement of magic, but if it was the only way. Perhaps Zatara could assist, or he could pawn something off to that Constantine. But nothing ever good happened from associating with that man. Or maybe Aquaman would have a solution, someone well versed in oceanic magic, except Aquaman's claim of being king of the ocean was doubtful considering the siren attacks that lead him and Father to this forsaken resort town in the first place. What if... What if....

Damian felt lightheaded.

A weight pressed on Damian's body. Warm scales against his own, their individual texture segmented, but smooth, like a kind of weighted blanket. A hand laid on his shoulder. Damian remembered where he was, remembered to perform the mental exercises Father had taught him.

Slowly, his breathing evened out. His fins steadied into a gentle lull. Damian's eyelids felt heavy. His chest vibrated in a strange rhythm he couldn't place...

Suddenly the weight disappeared, and Damian blinked himself awake. Phantom retreated a sociable distance away, looking sheepish.

"Sorry, about touching you without your consent, I just saw you were hyperventilating, and I remembered a few classes about this stuff, and I watched that film too, Puss in Boots 2, it was great and-"

"Do sirens watch human media often?" Damian said. He gripped his tail, something solid to keep him anchored.

Phantom seemed to freeze for a moment. "Uhm well, maybe they do! just because we're sirens doesn't mean we're uncultured!"

Damian would have loved to pick this information apart, scan it for weaknesses until he knew this person in and out, but at this moment, he simply sat and let it settle underneath the shame of expressing similar, or even more weakness.

"Speak of this to anyone, and I will have your head."

"Yeah that would be a dick move, so if I ever did that, feel free to take it."

[boba-beom]

Clay candy | c.yj

✧ pairing: yeonjun x gn!reader

✧ genre: fluff, tiniest humour? | drabble

✧ warning: established relationship, vague description of making out, mentions of food, spitting out food (the weird flavour), weird flavoured candy, not proofread, lmk if I've missed anything

✧ wc: 865

✧ a/n: happy yeonjun day!! I hope you guys show him so much love and support today by watching the vmas <3 I'm so excited for Back For More ^^ have fun reading, it's inspired by horimiya (s1 ep6) hehe

Yeonjun's phone rings, feeling it vibrate from his pocket while you're both sitting on a secluded park bench by his workplace.

"Hello? Oh Huening!" He answers with a certain amount of enthusiasm towards the younger male. "Right now? Yeah, sure. Me and Yn will make our way there."

You watch as he ends the call, shoving his phone back into his pocket. Dumbfounded, you stare at him with confusion in your eyes, not knowing what Kai must've said through the phone despite your closeness of proximity. Your boyfriend reaches out his hand and takes ahold of yours, giving it a light squeeze before showing his signature grin.

"Huening asked us to come over. He came back from the amusement park with the boys and they won a lot of different flavoured candy for us to try. You in?"

"'Course! Let's get going then." You get up onto your feet, hands still joined with his while you softly pull him off the bench, hearing his warm laugh fill your ears.

As soon as you arrive at the boys' shared apartment you and Yeonjun patiently wait outside until you were both met with a male of a slim build with pale, blue hair.

"About time you arrived, we almost finished the bag."

"Taehyun, we both know you guys wouldn't have been able to do that anyway." Yeonjun shook his head at the other young male, patting his back as he greets him and you enter the living area with him.

The boys were sat by the round centre table, watching them pour a paper bag upside down to reveal the pile of candy landing on the surface of the table.

You and Yeonjun decided to sit on the other side of the table, once again, sitting at your close proximity, thighs grazing and your arm instinctively linking with his.

"So how'd you manage to win so much?" Your mouth agape at the large quantity of plastic-wrapped confectionary sprawled out on the table, examining the range of flavours.

"I played this watermelon game at the amusement park, and I currently hold the highest score so I won... this bag of jelly beans." Hueningkai lost his excitement towards the end of his sentence, trailing off in uncertainty. "Thing is, some of these are really digusting flavours. But let's get bean boozled!"

Your face mirrors your boyfriend's and the rest of the boys', a confused expression mainly because you have no idea what watermelon game Kai was talking about, but also the fact that there would be a possibility of eating a really disgusting flavour.

"Here's this one for you Hyuka." Yeonjun passes Kai a cheese flavoured candy and the younger's face scrunches from the thought of sweet cheese. However, it may not be as bad as he thinks.

The other three guys, on the other hand, argue about giving each other decent enough flavours while their eyes are closed to make it fair.

"Yn, try this one." Kai passes you a flavour that you think is quite impossibly edible.

"Clay? That's a thing?" Your voice pitches higher that usual, quite in shock that there's such a thing.

"I mean, it is meant to be a mix of bad and good flavours, give it a try and let us know how it tastes!" Beomgyu chimes in before bickering with both Taehyun and Soobin on the other side of the room.

"I guess... here goes nothing." You say to no one in particular, but Yeonjun watches you pop the spherical candy in your mouth while Kai goes through the pile of confectionary on the table, too engrossed by the variety of flavours.

Your tongue swirls around the strange candy, making your eyes shut with no emotion on your face.

"Uhm... it's bitter." You turn to your beloved boyfriend with worried eyes, almost pleading for help.

This moment, you expected Yeonjun to pass you a tissue for you to spit it out, but instead he leans forward and lays his lips over yours. Your eyes widen from the sudden gesture, grateful that everyone was too occupied with their own little things to notice.

Your lips slightly part and so does his, deepening the sweet kiss a little more with the bitter taste interfering in your mouths. His tongue momentarily glides against yours and then he pulls away when you least expected it.

"Mmh— Yeonjun." You whisper only for him to hear, mouth slightly agape from whatever happened a couple of seconds again.

"Hyung, can you get us water please, these candies are gross. Thanks Kai, never get these again." Taehyun stated, pulling a sour face towards the youngest male in the room.

You're still sitting in the same spot by the table, watching the back of Yeonjun's grown out, black hair. A blank stare at nothing in particular.

"Huh? Yn? What's the matter?" Kai sees your frozen state, not having moved a single muscle since.

"Yeonjun— he.. he took my candy." Your voice quiet and you trail back to your thoughts.

Your boyfriend on the other hand, enters the kitchen, slowly leaning against the refrigerator and thinking while chewing on the bitter sweet.

"Hmm, it is bitter." He quietly says to himself.

taglist: @choiwrld @yjusei @feyregels @ahnneyong @prodsh00ky @wccycc @lizdevorak @fairybin @laylasbunbunny @acaiasahi @ttyunz @cha0thicpisces @fairybinie @vatterie @ja4hyvn @yunkiwii @aprilisque @bb-eilish @iggynor4 @amethysts-1620 @gorechoi-backup @ericyjun @luvsoobs @yeonyeonyeonjun @junniieesbby @kyrkitten @day6andetcetera @hyuntaena @dainsleif-when-playable @txt-yaomi @soobinsman @kookthief

© BOBA-BEOM ; do not repost, alter, translate, or claim as yours on here or any other platform.

[lovelykil]

「 Sex 」

kyle x reader older ver.

cw; sex word

note; sometimes I be feeling like I'm asexual but then again I'm DEFINITELY not, it's weird so I wrote this for no reason anyway..

"You know what I noticed when fucking girls? Their nips get hard when you rub, flick, or suck on them it's what ultimately helps them reach their climax if you were to mess and fuck her at the same time." Kenny picked at his tooth with a pic, laying back in his seat. Cartman scoffed while Stan looked down at his hands.

Questioning whether he had been giving his girlfriend a good time or not.

"Holy shit, have I been doing it all wrong?"

"Kenny you've sucked on tits before?"

"Hasn't everyone?" The blonde flicked his toothpick out the car window, smirking at Cartman from the other side of the car. Eric nodded his head in defeat at his accusation towards Kenny, giving it some thought.

"Can you guys stop talking about your sex lives? It's weird hearing the shit you say about girls when you're fucking them." After countless stories with Kenny bluntly talking about his sex life, Stan occasionally, and Cartman.. well we all know whatever comes out of his mouth is a lie so not really him, but him budding in was just as annoying.

Kyle looked back at the group of his friends in the backseat "Honestly." Kyle muttered, you could hear the annoyance in his voice, he was as fed up with their shit as I was.

We heard Kenny laugh with Cartman, they looked at each other before settling down. I rolled my eyes at the behavior of the two, getting ready to crush Eric with setting my seat down.

"Are you guys just sad that yall don't have one? I mean come on you've been together for a year now and it's clear you guys haven't done it yet." Cartman snickered, his words hitting me in the face. And just when I was about to obliterate him with my seat, I stopped to process what he said.

"Why does sex even matter? I don't see why we should do it just because everyone else does.. right Y/n?" Kyle turned his head to look at me for back up and agree with him, I met his eyes and wanted to agree, but I didn't exactly know myself.

Sure our relationship was pretty solid, nothing to bad about it except the sex part.. but I never thought about it.

Well occasionally I did.

I wondered how'd he feel inside me as our bodies collided together, sweat rubbing against each other as we let out lewd sounds in each other's ears, making each other feel good.

But he never mentioned it so I guessed it wasn't relevant to our relationship at least that's what I thought before.. now-? I guess it's a different story.

"I- I don't know." I looked away from Kyle's gaze, to focus on the swaying trees and the clear blue skyline.

"Wha-? Y/n-"

"Ohuhhhh Kyle you see? Sex does matter, it connects you with your partner! If you don't do it sooner or later your relationship will eventually fall apart. It's just scientifically proven." Kenny stated with a subtle shrug, proving his suppose 'point'

After giving Kenny a look of uncertainty and irritation, Kyle glanced at me his brows furrowing in hesitation to reach out for one more word, but he quickly gave up that thought and sat back in his seat. His hands rested on his steering wheel, breathing out a small sigh.

"Alright Saturday car ride is over.. I'm taking you guys home." The conflicted teen started his car, looking ahead. The boys groaned loudly, obviously not ready to go home yet. Kenny was going to argue but it's impossible to change Kyles's mind once it's made up so he shook off the idea, calming down, and talked to his friends as Kyle began to drive.

My eyes still remained on the window, watching the scenery pass me by in a flash my mind still wasn't made up.. I was confused.

My chin rested in the palm of my hand, thinking to myself as my arm rested against the window. I felt Kyle's eyes lay on me then the warmth of his pale hand softly placed on my leg. I quickly reacted, my head turning in surprise to his movement.

He gave me a faint smile, trying to cheer me up he even rubbed his thumb along my leg, caressing it. I couldn't help but smile back feeling bad for my reaction to him earlier.

Maybe sex just isn't for everyone.

. . .

"Annd finally homee!" I fell onto the couch, letting out a relieved sigh. Kyle joined me and sat next to me, a smile graced his face as he chuckled at my playful antic ."Home is nice isn't it?" He asked in a soft voice, looking at me. I sat up correctly, nodding slowly with a quiet smile. We sorta stared at each other for a bit before the elephant in the room came in.

"Hey.. the sex thing.." He took his eyes off me, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. My mouth hung open slightly, almost completely forgetting the incident, I mentally cursed to myself regretting what I said.

"Oh, that.."

"Yeah.. did you want to.. uhm.. like-?" He set his hand down, glancing over at me. I looked at him pausing for a thought.

Do I want to actually have sex with him?

Would it make me.. happy? Fulfill something I didn't know needed to be filled?

If we didn't.. would it change anything?

Shit..

I trembled, my mind racing with various thoughts related towards sex. More than the average teen male probably..

I felt my seat sink some bit as a warm body connected to me, a hand rested on mine and held it softly. I looked up at the ginger in surprise. He looked back at me with a sweet smile.

"Hey it's okay if you don't know, I don't mind if you do or not want to do it anytime soon. I just think it's kinda weird how you supposedly need sex for a relationship to work but really.. we just need each other." He kissed my head softly, explaining himself.

Once he looked down at me I held his hand tightly, feeling myself grow lighter from all this. I sheepishly grew a shy smile up at him "Wow that was corny." I teased, grinning slightly.

With a playful roll of his eyes, he let out a soft laugh and leaned in, gently rubbing his nose against mine. I couldn't help but scrunch up my nose in response, giggling along with him before pulling away with a content sigh. "No but really that makes me feel better I didn't know what to do or say..for now, I wanna wait.. if that's okay with you?"

"That's perfectly fine with me, sweetheart." His response caused a rush of warmth to flood my cheeks, the nickname catching me off guard. I leaned into his chest, wrapping my arms around him. Despite a brief moment of hesitation, he returned the hug, his arms circling me tightly creating a comforting warm embrace.

"Sex is overrated anyway."

"Agreed!"

[thatfreshi]

"It's Vile" (Uni AU P. 9)

You guys can clearly tell I'm feeling better bc holy shit, I've been writing like a machine.

tw - abuse, sexual trauma, blackmail

You tell Astarion which diner you're at, and quickly tell your friends that you have to handle something. You almost feel bad leaving Gale with the handsy lovers, but you know it must be important if he called. You don't really know why though, considering you barely know him at this point. It feels like hours, waiting outside the diner while the sun starts to go down, until eventually his dinged-up white car pulls into the parking lot. You walk over, full of uncertainty, and sit in the passenger's seat.

"Hey, you alright?"

He unbuckles the seat belt, curling up and leaning against the driver's seat to look at you.

"What do you want from me?"

"What?"

"Everyone wants something from me, so what do you want? I can't stop thinking about it, ever since you came over this morning. You're too nice, you have plenty of reasons to hate me, and yet you keep being kind. So what do you want from me?"

You're dumbfounded.

"Because we already had sex, and I know you're upset about it. Which, I'm sorry. I don't even know why I did it, and you're right, it was wrong of me to pretend like it was nothing. I'm just so used to it all meaning nothing. Everything in my life means nothing and you want to know stupid shit like what my favorite color is."

He wipes at his eyes, regretting it soon after, feeling the fabric of his sweater rub against that cut-up forearm again.

"I don't... I don't want anything from you. I just think you seem nice."

"I, seem nice? You're a bad liar."

"No, I'm serious. I know we got off to a weird start, but you seem cool. Maybe I'm weird, I don't know, but I don't really care what other people think. Besides, it's not fair to judge without knowing the whole story."

"You don't want the whole story."

"Not if you don't want to tell me, but I'd gladly listen."

"No, you wouldn't. It's all just words Tav, you don't mean that. No one ever means it. They say it to get into some fancy event or so I can get them a free drink or so they can make out with me in some dark corner of a party. No one ever means it."

"You don't have to believe me, but I mean it."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Because if I were as stressed as you, I'd want someone to listen. And I imagine it's hard not being able to say all the things you want or do all the things you want."

"Even if I told you, you'd leave. Pretend we didn't have this conversation, or maybe sell the story to some magazine. Why do you think I don't talk to people? Why I think it's easier to just let people hate me? Like Gale and Shadowheart? I'd rather them just blindly loathe my existence than know the truth."

He's shaking, truly and deeply bothered by your innocent desire to befriend him.

"Just tell me what you want from me so I can get it over with. Please."

The spectacle in front of you isn't lost on you. When he called you upset, you hadn't expected this, any of it.

"I just want you to have someone in your corner. That's all. I just want to be nice, I don't know."

"People don't want to be nice, they want power."

You shrug, trying not to cry.

"Power's never really been my thing. Is it so hard to believe I just want a friend?"

He chokes out a laugh.

"You have no idea."

Astarion relaxes a little now, putting his feet up on the dash.

"Something must be so incredibly wrong with you."

"Maybe so. Oh well."

"You said you want to hear all the scary stuff I have to tell you right? That you'd listen to all that?"

"Like I said, only if you want to share."

"Alright then. I got kicked out at sixteen, lived in this damn car for two years, started modeling because I've always been told I was 'gonna be a heartbreaker.' I've thrown my body at people to get jobs, stolen countless designer pieces that nobody would miss. And then Szarr contacted me at 18, told me he'd blacklist me from the industry if I didn't work for him."

He goes back to the sorrow of those younger years for a moment, you can see it shift in his expression.

"I was the first you know. You think my arm is bad? You have no idea. But I'm stuck in this contract with him, and I need the money to pay for school, but he takes ninety percent anyways. So I've continued to steal, anything from half-used makeup to hair products. Turns out it's really easy to get people to shut up about seeing you take something that isn't yours if you're hot... and I probably broke at least seven NDAs by telling you all of that. So, is that what you wanted? I can see the headline now, you'd make thousands."

Astarion's words drip in spite, trying anything to get you to admit you're using him.

"I'm sorry, that you've had to go through any of that. Truly, that sounds horrible."

He leans back staring at the ceiling of the old car, and starts to laugh.

"God, who are you? I did all of that to myself. I'm the one who used sex to get things I wanted. I'm the one that asked for this."

"Sounds to me like you just wanted to survive."

He chuckles, and rolls his head to meet your eyes.

"I guess I did, huh? It's barely been working."

You both sit in silence for a bit, listening to the idle engine, and you wonder what you can even say. He's right, there's pretty much no way out. What an evil thing, to take advantage of some kid who just wanted to go to college, and loop him into some horrible contract? No wonder he doesn't trust anyone, he's been taught that way, that helping hands only hold knives, that promises don't hold. It's vile.

"So, this is the part where you sleep with me, so you don't tell anyone anything I just told you, right?"

You go to laugh, and then realize he's serious.

"No... no not at all. I'm just here to be a friend, if that's what you want. Only if that's what you want."

"Damn you. You just... you keep making me want to trust you, and that's- it's terrifying. But I wouldn't mind, having a friend. Maybe it would even be nice."

You hold out a hand.

"Here's to being friends then."

Astarion doesn't extend his at first, thinking on it, and then slowly shakes hands with you.

"Sure. To being friends."

A smile spreads across your face, and he reciprocates, if only slightly.

"I uhm, when I saw Szarr today, he said that the seven of us have to go on a trip with him for a week, some important stuff across the country I guess. So, I'll be gone tomorrow morning, but maybe we can text?"

"Of course, I'd love that."

[drdemonprince]

Do you have any tips for autistics who want to get more comfortable with uncertainty/unpredictability?

You know, for me, two things have helped the most over time.

The first thing has been trying a variety of new things, and having a variety of life experiences (good, bad, weird, and neutral) and really soaking up the humility that comes with all that. The longer I live and the more passions I pursue, the more life surprises me and exposes me to. The more that I learn the vaster and less comprehensible the world seems to be. The idea that a single, feeble biased human like myself could ever have the power to predict what is going to happen (or to control it) now registers as absurd to me.

I used to try and game out every possible contingency for my reality and understand how everything worked, and a lot of that planning did benefit me, but I also wasted years trying to manage my options and never let the future options narrow before me, which of course they always will and must do. Often the outcome that I thought that I wanted wasn't even enjoyable to me, and then life opened up and expanded outward in some completely unanticipated direction that I'd written off. We never know shit, even when we think we do, so trying to know the optimal amount of shit in order to be able to make a decision or feel safe starts to seem just laughable. and when we laugh, even if its a mirthful or bitter laugh at life's uncontrollability, we can relax a bit.

The second thing that helped me was having confidence in my own ability to navigate unpredictable situations. Some of this does come with experience, see above. But it's also a question of self-efficacy. I sometimes have to remind myself that I nearly always figure things out and find a path forward, even if I'm feeling stuck, even if I need help, and especially when a situation is not what I expected it to be. I don't need to know everything about a situation or be able to predict the future -- I've never been able to predict the future, and I've never known everything, and yet here I am. Bad things in life have happened, I've made plenty of boneheaded choices, there have been tragedies, and losses, and traumas, and also unexpected bolts of good luck and unexpected discoveries. And also just a lot of really mundane boring low stakes everyday grinds. And i've been fine, you know. I've figured it out.

I think a lot of the fear of uncertainty is motivated by a desire to always get things right. but there is no right answer to the question of how to live one's life. The other reason we fear uncertainty is because we dread loss. And many of the uncertain negative outcomes that we fear (such as a relative dying, or friendship ending or a romantic relationship losing its spark) are events we have no control over and will eventually happen no matter what and so we've got to make peace with them. I can't say I'm always good at that. I used to have intrusive flashes of people I cared about dying any time I was enjoying a pleasant moment with them. i was so terrified of the uncertainty of loss that i couldnt enjoy what was happening in the present. That doesn't happen now. Largely because I've learned through experience that just about everything ends, whether you bother to worry about it ending or not, but I've been able to continue forging a worthwhile and dynamic life afterward every time a terrible loss has happened.

so yeah. if you fear uncertainty, i recommend having a really rich, wide array of experiences and doing what you can to build up trust in your own ability to handle the unexpected and difficult.

[archivalofsins]

It's been a good while since the end of trial two and a lot has changed in the fandom overall. Even more will change over the course of trial three. I think in this area of uncertainty and impatience it's easy to forget everything that transpired.

Admittedly I'm kind of proud of my growth over this period of time and how the experience has impacted how I interact with fandom and the internet overall.

Not to sound incredibly old fashioned but I think there's still much to unpack from trial two before heading into trial three. So, the down time between the end of trial report and now has been greatly appreciated.

A lot happened.

Haruka's broken 50/50 as people highlighted the risks of him remaining unrestrained not only to himself but others.

People stating that anyone voting Yuno guilty was a pro-life conservative, politicizing her trial as pro-life pro-choice debate. Even going as far to state that Milgram was a sexist series for including her at all.

Futa's was just funny because it was a bold faced admission by the audience that they were in fact too much like Futa to properly judge him. Amongst other things.

Mu's trial was a bunch of people politicizing it in the opposite direction using a bunch of right wing buzzwords like calling it fake news, for some reason bringing race into it from headcanoning her victim as half black, then victim blaming like her victim attacked first so she deserved to die.

Shidou well fuck we need a doctor so go off king. Like it wasn't even about him it was about Mahiru I know who I really cared about here. I couldn't give one singular fuck about Shidou even now. Oh he might hurt Kotoko I don't give a fuck if he does his doctor role what he does in his off time is his business. Nobody was thinking oh my god what about the harm the guy with the medical degree can do to others here when they voted him innocent nobody cared. Like honestly he has a medical degree he can do a lot of harm but that wasn't our problem or main concern.

Mahiru ah see he hung himself and he's probably a cheater anyway. Yes some people thought it was justified to drive a man to suicide for being unfaithful. That was a weird hill for some people to build a house on but they did. I don't know a lot of people just conveniently forgot women cheat and can be abusers as well. I don't know how some forgot that but I wish I were them.

Kazui the guilty shrine- seriously a shrine? Really... Oh also men shouldn't be allowed to get divorces because it makes women look bad. Isn't that what abusive husbands were saying when women wanted divorce rights and fought for things like no fault divorce wild. No one was thinking there yeah go on cook me nothing that would be better than the poison you're trying to disguise as feminism. It'd be less detrimental too.

Amane's second trial really was like,

"Sure her mom kills cats and beats children but we can't forget she's a cult survivor too and being a parent is hard."

Bro as someone with an abusive single mom who did some shit and went through some shit um no that's not an excuse. You can't just go parenting is hard get me my taser or my childhood was hard too it's my turn to beat kids. Like not tobring up Oshi No Ko again but the Amane trial really was just chapter 141 to me in real time (read it because that got messy later in).

"She had to live through the cult too. She was having a hard time as well what about her upbringing? Do you know how hard it is to raise a child by oneself."

Her husband was at work not dead what the fuck did y'all mean by this???

What were these takes? Nobodies trauma gives them a free pass to traumatize others- wait we'll get to you hold up put those dogs back where they came from! She's a single mom of one girl meanwhile the woman with two sons and an absent doctor husband. Not doing any of this shit. She was my rock Shidou says fully meaning it. Yuno mom two kids haven't heard a word about her killing cats or beating kids. Wild it's like it's pretty easy to choose not to do the things she did. Every other shit parent here did decide to be shitty Amane's mom included.

Mikoto oh suddenly your trauma does excuse how you responded to a situation. Work hard, such sad boy. Yeah I can believe the stigmatized version of dissociative identity disorder in this one niche situation. Japan is so backwards of course they'd still write it like this they don't know any better. So, of course the other alter is the evil one and Mikoto is still the goodest of boys- Also dissociative identity disorder isn't real unless you have a certain number of alters that act x specific way that's why there has to be this many.

With a tiny hint of if the child is guilty let's just kill this man too~

Fuck Mikoto he's had it too good. Bitch could have went home in fact we see him do it in the video! Where the fuck was Amane gonna go the streets?! We saw how that worked out in her video. Snitch ass streets, if these streets could talk- Don't worry with snitch advisory they can even if you don't want them to!

Kotoko well if you think she's bad then you don't have real trauma. Also grooming can only be sexual actually I heard the term from twitter and never looked into the act of doing this ever outside of that context. God don't even ask me to define groom as a verb.

So on and so forth. It's been a lot and this all just shit I personally experienced.

Trial two showed us one of the worst aspects of humanity,

Our ability as people to use our own experiences as the blueprint for all life.

Our stubborn commitment to seeing something only one way. Because that's always been how we've seen it. That's always been how it was. Milgram trial two and the audience for better or worse put the definition of closed-mindedness on full display.

Regardless of how inclusive, progressive, or forward thinking people believed themselves to be in the moment. We saw what a commitment to only one way of thinking could cause and who it ends up hurting. I think trial two can teach people that even the most progressive leaning individuals can cause harm.

Even those who want to support marginalized individuals or are marginalized themselves are capable of causing harm. Because when we convince ourselves that the only voice that matters is our own we silence, belittle, and ignore the experiences of those around us. It doesn't matter what politically correct framing a person attributes to their belief if one is being closed-minded it will still harm others and the movement they're purporting to care about.

It will more than likely do more harm to the people one is attempting to help the most whether that is themselves or others. That's the only thing being closed-minded can do.

[fernsnailz]

the story and lore of your ocs sounds so cool and also. comforting? yeah. i turn 21 very soon and feel like i want to shrivel up and die every time i think about the societal structure of what Adulthood is and stories abt being lost and unsure of your place in a world that is manufactured to treat people as expendable (especially those who can’t fit into the standard of what “peak performance” is) feel like a bandage of some kind. sorry if this is like. a little personal or something i just wanna say that your ocs seem very neat

you're good! that's exactly what i'd like it to be tbh - being in your 20's is such a weird time. there's so much uncertainty and confusion because there's this expectation that you're supposed to have everything figured out soon. but in reality, this is the time where people change the most. i think about who i was when i was 20 and it feels like they're a completely different person from who i am now - and i'm only 23!! so much shit happened in those three years that changed me in more ways than i can even remember, and everything that hit me left me more and more unsure about who i was. it's hard to live the "normal" life you want when it feels like the world is always against you, like it's not built for you, or like you were created without a purpose.

but sometimes it's really comforting to know that most people around this age have very similar struggles. no one knows what the fuck is going on. and personally, that connection has sorta kept me grounded me through this weird period of my life and is something that has definitely been a foundation of a lot of my current personal beliefs: everyone is still learning how to live and learning how to be a person, including you - and that's alright. and i'd like to capture that connection through uncertainty with my oc's story as well (if i ever actually make it lol). i'd like the story to wander a bit, to be uncertain and a little lost, to emulate what it feels like to be a person at this age. it's definitely something i'm developing as a way to provide a bit of catharsis to myself personally, but i'd hope that it could bring that same feeling to other people who also have no fucking idea what's going on (IF I EVER MAKE THE STORY INTO ANYTHING. NO PROMISES RIGHT NOW THO)

in short. shit's wild! it might get kinda rough! but you're not alone and you're allowed to use this time to learn and make mistakes and figure things out at your own pace :] go get em!

[sevensoulmates]

Thank you so much for the explanation, because yes I wasn't seeing the bigger picture (about the titles for the episodes) but yes, it's logical that the meaning behind the title will be to set an overall atmosphere for the whole thing. And I didn't knew about that many references to movies/series? mainly becausey I haven't seen most of them 🤦‍♀️ and other references about phrases (I just didn't know the "why" behind the titles).

And of course sometimes the characters don't even know what's going on their minds yet but luckily I'm on the "Eddie/Buck taking their sweet time realizing how they actually feel" side, getting there is half the fun right?

Thanks for the sharing the post by useramor, I didn't knew about it!

Can I ask another thing? I was really curious about some fans panicking over the possibility of Eddie calling Buck "brother" in incoming episodes, where is this coming from and why is this bad? I just don't get it and I feel like I missing some info.

Thank you for your prompt response, I really appreciate you taking the time to do it.

Titles do have some importance but most of the time the original source material doesn't have THAT much to do with it. Such as the movies, etc. Titles can help set the tone, and general themes, but I wouldn't take them wholly literally, as I've seen people be disappointed in the past because a title like "What's Your Fantasy?" didn't immediately equate to Buck and Eddie doing the nasty in that episode.

It's funny you should mention the "brother" thing, cuz that's actually what I was thinking about when I answered your last ask, hence the "CHARACTERS LIE!!" moment LOLOL I was actually debating making a whole post in regards to that but I was on the fence. Your ask gives me the perfect excuse.

For context: the "eddie calls buck his brother" rumors came about from some accounts on twitter and tumblr who claim (without proof) that they have a "source" that works for 911 that is feeding them info and pictures. Even if the source part is true, all of it is still out of context, and therefore anything that is leaked should ALWAYS be taken with the SMALLEST possible grain of salt. Nothing is true until we see it with our own eyeballs on our tv screens.

I feel like I'm one of the few people who didn't immediately be like one of them calling the other brother means it's the end of Buddie!! We already know that this arc is going to revolve around Buck (and possibly Eddie too) being confused and uncertain of where their relationship stands. I think that the purposeful confusion and uncertainty are because neither Buck nor Eddie really understands why their feelings are getting hurt or why the other is acting in certain ways. That, plus all of the last few seasons, have shown that Buck and Eddie don't really talk a lot about who they are to each other. They kind of just....live in that nebulousness and hope no one comes along and points out how odd it is.

Something else I want to point out is that if the rumor is true, we don't know AT WHAT POINT in the episode he says this. What new information might have come to light before this? Additionally, we don't know what acting choices might come along with it. Does Eddie look weird as he says "brother"? Does Buck make an odd face? Is the camera focus on the scene being uncomfortable? Is the "brother" comment accepted easily or hesitantly? Is there romantic/soft or discordant music in the background? What is being said without being said in the moment? There are simply too many unknown variables in the equation including story context, editing, sound, and acting choices for me to immediately be like "damn, guess I'll give up now".

We also don't know if this happens in episode 4 or 5 which also vastly changes the context.

I'll also tell you what my first thought was when I heard the "Eddie calls buck his brother!" rumors. I thought "Oh of course he did, he's still deep in compulsory heterosexuality".

Let's think about this in two ways:

If Buck comes out as Bi, and Eddie calls him his brother for the first time since they met? That's so strange. Why now all of a sudden is Eddie purposefully trying to immediately shut down the possibility of them being romantic? Why does the idea of Buck having a romantic interest in men suddenly make Eddie feel the need to draw boundaries? One could say it's a homophobic response, or (more likely) an internalized homophobic response. One could also say it's so Buck does not get the idea of a romantic relationship being possible between them, which again, why does he feel the need to draw that distinction if they're both oh so confident they're the best of friends and will never be anything but friends. "Brother" is also distancing language as well. It could be a way for Eddie to distance himself from Buck, and in turn, Buck's queerness. Again, why? No one in his immediate circle is homophobic so why does he feel the need to distance himself in every way possible from even the tiniest idea of queerness being associated with him? All of it screams internalized homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality to me.

Now let's go the non-queer route. Say Buck is still straight as a ruler. They resolve their issue, Eddie reassures Buck that they're best still friends, etc. I am again wondering why Eddie feels the need to use "brother" for the first time in years. It should imply being closer than friends. But Eddie has already proven that he views Buck as closer than his blood family, hence why Buck is in the will, and Eddie's family is not. So why again, "brother" if not to purposely draw attention to the odd (and out of character) word choice. This could once again be Eddie using distancing language, which once again implies all of the stuff I said before. And in this case, it's even odder, because Buck is (as far as Eddie knows) a straight man. So why the need to draw a boundary? That lends more to Eddie having a potential fear of being perceived as queer by Buck. That also lends to internalized homophobia.

And all of that aside, at the end of the day, Buck and Eddie are not blood-related, and they didn't grow up with each other, so even if they call each other brothers...it's always going to be in a metaphorical sense. And there's the fact that FEELINGS. CAN. CHANGE. Eddie might believe he sees Buck as a brother at the moment, but that could change in a single instant. If Eddie's really not had that many other close male friends in his life, he might truly believe that what he feels for Buck is just friendship and not realize that actually...this is something vastly different. Or, like I said, he might be LYING. The writers could also be LYING to us on purpose.

It's possible that it could be used as a red herring, to make the audience believe one thing, and then they plan to subvert it as a "plot twist" at the end. It could be used as a plot device and a stepping stool to so many other things. And additionally, why now? Why in this big episode where it seems like sexuality might come into play? Why not in episode 1 when Eddie could've been like "You're like an uncle to Chris". And of course, again, the biggest point of them all: we already KNOW that Buck and Eddie are the closest of friends. We've seen it, new audiences have seen it. So why suddenly redefine it as "brothers" during an episode where it seems like Buck is getting his own feelings regarding their relationship confused.

The last thing to think about is this: how does doubling down on Buck and Eddie being "brothers" push the story forward? Story needs conflict, and 911 thrives off of creating long-term conflict. How does being "brothers" set up a long-term conflict for them? Or, if being "brothers" is the resolution for their conflict, then what is changing as a result of being "brothers"? How are they getting closer than they already are by being "brothers"? Truthfully, them redefining their relationship to "brothers" changes absolutely nothing about their relationship.

I don't agree with people who say "This shuts down all hope of buddie" because season 6 already pulled them as far apart as they could be. It gave them female love interests to do something with if they wanted to this season but fact of the matter is that the writers didn't want to pursue those stories. They threw Buddie back together so fiercely and chopped their love interests down to less importance than randos on calls.

So what is left that actually can cause Buck and Eddie's relationship to evolve into something we've never seen from them before? The only answer is romance. So, no, I'm not worried about some random "brothers" comment.

[consistentlyamess]

We'll see about that ⎮Prologue

pairing(s): steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: You just wanted a fresh start but you might get more than you bargained for when the sleepy town of Hawkins lives up to its reputation.

warnings: 18+ , MDNI, canon typical violence, eventual smut, abusive relationship, brief stancy storyline, strangers to friend to lovers, pining, slowburn

A/N: I HAVE VERY LITTLE IDEA ABOUT WHAT I'M DOING AND I'M TERRIFIED. so just please bear with me while I figure out what I wan to do here, I guess. 💜

Fic Masterlist

Next Chapter

---

Rolling into the small gloomy town didn’t have any of the mysterious bravado you were anticipating. No roaring clouds or looming men in black coats. But it wasn’t exactly comforting either. The sky was a little weird, dark smoke coming from somewhere. But people were outside, some cars running by, it wouldn’t have felt off in the slightest if it were the beginning of November. It was the end of August though. Granted you weren't counting on the same busy streets you were used to in Bloomigton but a few kids running around, school supplies here and there, something that indicated the start of a new school year would’ve been nice. But there was nothing like that. After the “Welcome to Hawkins HELL” sign it was like you entered a different dimension completely. The end of summer shouldn’t have felt like this. Filled with gray and goo and oozing with uncertainty.  

It did come in handy with the accommodation, not many people want to rent rooms in a town where teenagers and children go missing (if they’re lucky) on a regular basis, malls burn down and weird natural disasters seem to occur out of nowhere. You glanced at the map that was nearly dry now after having coffee spilled on it a few hours ago. Finding the street should be easy at least. The realtor lady gave an unnecessarily long-winded explanation to where you could find the house. Like she was worried that you might turn around and leave if it took more than five minutes to find the house. You wouldn’t have turned around of course. This was precisely what you were looking for. Somewhere no one else is looking for. 

The low prices, the ever vacating spots in the elementary school also worked in your favour. You were just out of college, nobody in their right mind would’ve given you a full-time teaching spot. Unless of course they desperately needed someone. It was elementary but still, it was a teaching job. A real teaching job. And it somehow seemed that maybe an earthquake or two is worth the fresh start. God knows you needed it. 

Unpacking wasn’t hard at all. Two boxes of belongings, journals, pens, paper, you still needed to buy a pair of scissors that was for sure. A box of kitchen supplies, although the lady did say that the former residents left in a hurry so there’ll be plenty of stuff left for you. About two suitcases filled with clothes and your pillow. That was about it. Packing in the kitchen you also made a note to buy some new kitchen towels. When you were finally done, you were exhausted. You considered for a minute that maybe you should just read a little and call it a day. You had a week to adjust and discover the town, but somehow you still felt restless. 

Picking up the car keys, setting out to get some dinner and maybe grab a movie, you were out the door again. Spending more time in the town, you started to get that mysterious bravado you were expecting. People were out on the streets, yes, but nobody would look you in the eyes and you could swear everybody was staring at your car when you stopped for gas. Maybe it’s just a small town, you thought, it takes time for people in places like this to get used to a new face, right? And after all, they were probably shaken by the recent tragedies that seemed to have a perverse fascination with the small town in Indiana. There was this tense atmosphere, really everywhere you went. The convenient store was a little empty and the cashier looked at you like she just caught you cheating on a test. A little suspicious, a little apprehensive, a little scolding. She didn’t even say a proper goodbye, just kind of hummed. Even though you made it a point to be very polite. Sometimes your black clothes and eyeliner throw older people off even if you're nowhere near a goth or metalhead vibe.  

Next stop was the grocery store. Get some dinner, get some breakfast and then get back home. Maybe discovering the town at this specific moment wasn’t that great of an idea after all. 

You were checking out the snack aisle, debating whether you should stack some stuff up or maybe buy just enough for that day and the next, so you would have to come back. Maybe if they see you more frequently they’ll get used to you faster. Lost in your thoughts and eyeing if they had Pringles you were alerted to your surroundings with a loud bang of your basket. 

“Oh, shit.” You said in tandem with the girl you bumped. “God, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking- 

“Oh, fuck, I can’t believe this, why do I have to be so clumsy all the time!” The girl with the dirty blonde bob exclaimed. 

You both scrambled to your knees and gathered your stuff, mostly helping the other person. 

“I’m so sorry, I was just thinking about what I should be wearing tomorrow because I have this date thing. Kind of. I don’t even know if it is a date. We’re going to the movies, but friends can go to the movies, right? So, where does that leave me? Do I put on mascara or is that trying too hard? Do I wear a skirt? I don’t even own a skirt! I could always borrow one from Nancy, but the mere thought of pink and ruffles makes me want to hurl and- Jesus, and now I’m rambling and you don’t wanna hear this and- I don’t know you.” 

You chuckled a little. 

‘It would be weirder if you did. I just arrived today, and you didn’t bother me at all. This is like the third place I’ve visited today and you're kind of the only person who’s not acting like I’ve already committed a crime when I wasn’t planning on doing that for at least two more weeks.’

She stares at you with a little crooked smile in the corner of her mouth and wide eyed. 

‘I’m joking of course.’ You tried to backtrack immediately when you didn’t get a reaction. ‘I’m not planning on committing any crimes! Unless you guys consider returning a library book too late a felony.’ She was still just staring and blinking at her. ‘Also a joke, sorry. God, I’m on fire today.’ You muttered to yourself. 

‘Oh, my God, I haven’t said anything in so long! Those were good jokes, just- I’m just- why are you here?’ 

You were taken aback by the question. So that’s it. This is what everyone's thinking upon seeing you here. That there must be something wrong with you. Or you have some ulterior motives for moving here. Not like they’re wrong, but jeez, they could cut a girl some slack. 

‘Wow, very straightforward.’ You chuckled again awkwardly, trying to delay your answer as much as possible. 

‘No, I mean, I’m just surprised. We don’t get a lot of new residents these days.’ 

‘Fair enough.’ You took a deep breath, contemplating what to say exactly. ‘Well- 

‘Oh, Robin. Robin Buckley.’ the girl said, giving her a little wave. 

‘Well, Robin, I just finished university and my training as a teacher. I have a fuck ton of student debts and believe it or not, not many schools are looking for a teacher with no experience. So, here I am. The children of Hawkins Elementary will have to make due with yours truly. And besides, I don’t scare that easily.’ You tried a little mischievous smile and much to your surprise and delight, it worked. The freckled girl lit up a little and gave her a good, full mouthed grin. 

‘Okay. I think you’ll fit right in.’ 

You laughed at that. 

‘Sorry, what was your name again?’ 

You reminded her that you never really told her your name, which now you did. 

‘But my friends usually just call me Peach. I used to talk a lot about peaches when we realized I’m allergic to them, and it just kinda stuck.’

‘It was very nice to meet you, Peach! If you need any advice on the coolest spots or the lamest ones, maybe in a bookstore or something, just ask.’ 

‘Actually, I might take you up on that right now. I wanted to rent some movies for tonight and I heard there’s a video store in town but I haven't found it yet.’ You haven't tried that hard either,but she doesn't have to know that. The first person who was nice to you all day. You need this.  

‘You, my friend, have come to the exact right place! Come on!’ She just headed for the cashier. 

‘Well, I guess no Pringles for me then.’ You whisper below your nose.

‘Shit, sorry, I didn’t even ask if you were done!’ Robin turned around and rushed back. 

You found her very endearing. She was younger. Not by a lot, but just enough that you could feel it in her tone, see it in her gangly limbs and hear it in her rambling. She was like a puppy dog that was still trying to find its footing in the world. 

‘You’re okay, just gonna grab some Pringles.’

‘That’s my favourite too!’ She exclaimed again and this makes her look even younger. Finding such joy in such a simple thing. Something you don’t remember doing in a long time. 

‘Great, then I’ll know who to blame when they run out’ you said jokingly.

‘God, you’re good.’ Robin grinned once more and you felt like this town might not be so gloomy after all. 

***

‘Oh, and there’s of course Lovers Lake but...’ she trails off for a second there. ‘Yeah, no one really goes there since the, well, you know the murders last year.’ 

‘Okay, so Enzo’s is a yes, Family Video is a yes and Lovers Lake is a ‘you really should know better’. Sounds about right?’ 

‘That’s exactly right!’ 

Robin has been catching you up on the town’s intricacies for the past 10 minutes as you walked towards the video store. 

‘And what kind of movie were you thinking?’ 

‘Oh, I don’t really know. I’m a little wiped from the drive, so nothing heavy. No double features. I live alone and haven’t really gotten used to the place yet, so no horror either. Just the thought of romance currently has shivers running up my spine, so a strong no to that too. I’ll have to go with some action or comedy, I think. Back to Future and Ghostbusters never disappoint.’ 

‘Bad breakup?’ 

‘Huh?’ 

‘You just said romance makes your spine tingle or whatever. Bad breakup?’ 

‘Uhm, yeah, sort of.’ You don’t wanna say anymore but you also don’t want to look like you’re hiding something. It’s not even that. You’re just trying to forget. ‘But it’s a long and not exactly happy story.’ 

‘No, I get it. Breakups are a bitch. Not that I know that much about it.’

‘I mean, how much do you really have to know? You loved someone and they loved you and it’s not like that anymore. It sucks whichever way you cut it.’

Robin hummed at that and became very quiet. You were worried that maybe you struck the wrong chord with what you just said. 

‘If you haven’t broken up tho, we probably never would’ve met, have we?’

‘That's a good point Robin.’ You smiled at her and looped an arm in hers. ‘Now come on, show me where the goods are!’ 

‘Please, don’t get your hopes up too much, we don’t have anything that isn’t at least two months old and our manager is a bit of an asshole but I’m sure you’ll find something and Dingus is not half bad at this anymore either.’ 

‘Dingus?’ 

‘You’ll find out in a second’ she said pushing in the door.

‘Sorry, we’re closing in five minutes. Please come back tomorrow or be very quick ‘cause I have to pick someone up. Thank you!’ you heard someone calling from the back. 

‘Calm down Dingus, it’s just me and my new best friend.’ 

A messy brown haired boy popped up from behind the counter. 

‘What?’ 

‘Peach, this is Steve, Steve this is Peach. Peach is new in town and Steve’s a dingus.’

‘Hey!’ the boy said, indignant.

‘She’s gonna figure it out sooner or later, might as well get it out of the way.’ 

The way they talked to each other was very sibling-like. You didn’t have any yourself but your best friend in high school had three and this was mostly the way they communicated with each other. Not very veiled insults and teasing. Classic. And also highly entertaining for everyone involved, if done correctly. 

‘Sorry, I don’t wanna keep you away from your date, I just wanted to rent a movie for tonight.’ 

‘Oh, he’s not going on a date’ the moment the frackled girl spoke up, Steve started to give her his best ‘please shut up’ eyes, but she didn’t notice. Unlike you, who definitely did. He wasn’t subtle. ‘He’s just picking up his other friend, who happens to be a 14 year old.’ 

You couldn’t not chuckle at that even though you really tried, seeing as the boy in front of you had a pained look in his eyes and a bit of a blush on his cheeks. 

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh. Also, I’m not one to talk. I chose a whole ass career that requires me to spend hours upon hours with children, so…’ you shrugged as a way to indicate, you didn’t really have a good closing thought for that sentence. 

‘Are you a babysitter?’ The boy asked with furrowed brows and a tilted head. He didn't look unlike a goden retriever puppy.

‘No, dude, she’s a teacher! Isn’t that awesome?’ 

‘A teacher? Aren't you, like, way too young for that?’

‘You guys have very little scrupulous about what you can and can’t say, huh? But to answer your question, yes and no. I just graduated, but this place was losing teachers so fast, they needed an arts teacher, like, yesterday, so here we are. Also I did everything early.’ 

‘How old are you by the way, if you don’t mind me asking’ Robin chimed in now.

‘I’m 23. I have a good 10 years before I start being precious about my age, I think.’

He let out a light laugh and you took it as all clear for the laugh earlier. 

‘Okay, so did you guys just come here to annoy me or can I help you with something?’ 

‘Oh, yeah, sorry, I was looking for a movie for tonight and Robin offered help.’ 

‘Great, what’s the mood, what are we thinking? Winding down after a long day with a glass of wine? Or are you looking for some excitement? Maybe a date night?’ 

This time you’re the one to miss the curious glint in the boy’s eyes, while Robin catches it and squints at Steve’s sneaky inquiry. 

‘Oh, first one for sure. I’ve had enough excitement for one day and if I had a date I’d either need a lot more or a lot less snacks. So, just some classic entertainment for me today. You know, Risky Business, Raising Arizona, Back to the Future, something like that.’

‘Really? Back to the Future?’ 

‘What? You didn’t like it?’ 

‘It’s not that I didn’t like it, it’s just a weird movie.’ 

‘Okay, the mom falling in love with her son part gets a little dicey at places but I love the concept, the DeLorean is a crazy cool car and Michael J. Fox is a total cutie. It’s a future classic.’ 

‘Huh, maybe I should give it a second chance.’ 

‘I might be biased but you definitely should. But only after I brought it back.’

‘Of course, ladies first, always.’ Now he smiles with something more than a little mischief. ‘Uhm, I’ll go get it for you, just stay here.’ It's not lost on you that the boy is pretty. But you know his type. It's the type you have stay cautious with. The dangerous type. At least for you.

‘So, what are your plans for the week?’ Robin asks as Steve disappears between the rows. 

‘Not much really, just wanna get a little more situated and used to the town before starting school. I still have to buy some supplies, I’m big on reward stickers, I have to make sure, I always have them on me.’

‘And there we go, one Back to the Future for you’ he smiles. ‘Now I just need a couple basic information from you. Full name, address, date of birth aaand a phone number.’ 

You give your info to him and he rings you up. 

‘Well, it was lovely meeting you guys, and you know, I guess I’ll see you around.’

‘Sure, and if you need help with anything else-

‘Enzo’s is a yes, Family Video is a definitely and Lovers Lake is a ‘you should know better’, got it.’ 

‘I mean, Lovers Lake gets a bad rep, but as long as you don’t want to swim it’s a great spot for a picnic or just hanging out’ Steve chimes and Robin squints again. 

‘Huh. Alright, well, I guess I’ll just have to see for myself.’ You say your goodbyes and you start heading for the door but turn back as you suddenly think of something. 

‘Hey, if this is too much, just say so, and I’ll go and we don’t have to talk about this ever again, but would you guys want to come around for like a housewarming dinner sometime? I know it’s probably too early but I don’t have any friends, or know anyone here, really, and you guys seem cool. I’m a decent cook and I can buy alcohol absolutely legally and I don’t have any board games, but I can buy some, or charades or whatever’ you knew you were rambling, but you couldn’t help it. You were tired and you hated to admit it but also a little bit lonely. You went out on a limb here, something that you arguably maybe did too much. But to your surprise they perk up.

‘Yeah’ Steve says with a hint of a smile. ‘What time were you thinking?’

‘How about Saturday, say around 7?’ 

‘It’s a date, we’ll be there, right Robs?’

‘Sure, we’ll bring desserts and oh, we could introduce you to a couple of our friends? Or maybe that’s too overwhelming. But it’s just a couple people and they’re all great, I promise. I mean, they’re little shitheads sometimes but they’re great.’

‘Yeah, oh my God, that sounds awesome! Can’t wait! And you have my address now, right?’ You raise an eyebrow at Steve. 

‘Y-Yeah, we do, see you then. And just for the record, I can buy alcohol legally as well.’

‘Hm. Good to know.’ 

You’re giddy with your plans and have a spring in your step as you walk back to the car, blissfully unaware of Robin scolding Steve behind you.

‘Stop that.’

‘What? I’m not doing anything.’

‘Is it a date night? Lovers Lake? We don’t ask for anybody’s phone number and then you sign off with ‘it’s a date’? You’re not slick Harrington.’ 

‘Oh, shut up, those were just… I was just making conversation.’

‘Uh-huh, sure thing Casanova.’ 

‘Okay, maybe I was testing the waters a little. So what? I’m single, from what I understand, she is too, it’s not a crime.’ 

‘You’re also in love with Nancy. And she seems way too cool and way too nice for you to break her heart. Not that Brenda deserved to get her heart broken, but she was always a little mean in high school, so I’m biased.’

‘I didn’t break Brenda’s heart, she just liked Nate more and I’m not in love with Nancy.’ 

‘Fine, but you’re sure as shit not gonna break hers either. And don’t tell me, you’re not still hung up on Wheeler, cause I can see the look in your eyes, every time that obnoxious pizza van rolls into the parking lot. Also I think she might just have gone through a rough breakup or something.’

‘Who? Nancy?’

'No, Dingus, Peach!' Robin says as he swats at his chest.

'Oh.'

‘Yeah, she didn’t like say it-say it, but mentioned something in the parking lot that sounded a lot like it. So, just, you know, tread lightly, okay? 

***

As you drive back home, that spooky feeling and mysterious bravado strike again. It wasn’t dark just yet but the sun was much lower in the sky and the empty streets felt colder somehow. You usually loved sunsets but there was something unnatural about the hue of orange and red today, and you did not like it one bit. 

‘This is okay, you’re okay.’ You muttered to yourself, as you looked into the rearview mirror. ‘This is exactly what you came here for, you’re not chicken shit, you’ve dealt with much worse, just get it together.’ 

You rested your head against the steering wheel for a second. Almost unconsciously, as a routine or a mantra you reach for the glove compartment. Opening it, you reach inside and immediately relax as you find the Colt in there. You let out a long exhale and finish the routine with checking the bullets and the safety. You shove it in your bag and head inside the house.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #90

I'm not really sure what to write to you about today. I think I might have overextended myself in recent days, and once more I'm finding that my brain feels like soup. The sense of not really belonging in this place is hitting me kinda hard today, I guess. Suppose you would know a lot about what that's like.

Truth is, I struggle often enough with the way I perceive the world around me. I do it weirdly (much like how I do literally everything else... sigh...). I'm not gonna bother to articulate how, though; I doubt you'd be interested anyway. Fact remains that there ain't a whole lot of folks I can talk to about it; even if I could, most wouldn't understand, so why bother. Suppose it is what it is though; no sense in bellyaching. I just wish that it was a thing that could be measured, recorded, corroborated. Something that could be rationalized, explained, made logical. My mind tends to despise uncertainties; it likes everything to be concretized and nailed down.

…Ah well.

Like yesterday, today was busy, and also painful, thanks to Physical Therapy. There's weird stuff going on with the right side of my jaw, and the muscles holding it together needed to be mashed up with metal implements. I guess I'm gonna need braces sooner rather than later, because I really needed braces as a kid, but I didn't get 'em, and now my bite is all messed up, which means now my jaw is all messed up, and having the jaw messed up pulls on the neck, which then pulls on the ribs, and my ribs being weird is why I've been dealing with limited ability to use my right arm for the last almost two years to begin with, but I hesitate to get it fixed because braces cost a LOT of money, and I think most insurances won't cover the cost of it this late in life, so… it's a mess.

My whole existence is kind of a mess in a variety of respects, and… ya know. Sometimes I'm not sure why I bother persisting when all of it seems kind of like a farce; I live in a defective body on a dying planet where everyone is so traumatized that lots of 'em believe that killing each other is the answer to all their problems. Sometimes I just... don't wanna. Waking up in the morning in a world where there is no ethical way to maintain the integrity of my physical vessel seems like a chore.

…But then I remember that there are people who like having me around, even if I can't understand why most of the time. So I gotta believe that something good might come of my derping around on this mossy wet rock hurtling through space, even if I don't yet know what it is.

You ever get the feeling like there's something you're supposed to be doing, but you have no idea what it is, and you're running out of time? Feels like that almost constantly for me. If you know what that's like and know how to deal with it, lemme know, willya? I could use some pointers.

In the meantime… there's some stuff I've been meaning to learn how to do. I'm not gonna tell you what it is just yet, because it would ruin the surprise. But I hope the results will be good, if I can stop being intimidated long enough to get the gumption.

Anyway… Sephiroth. My brain continues to be soup. I think if I keep going, I'm just gonna keep rambling. I'm tired, but… I wanted to write anyway, because you're worth others' effort, even when they're feeling weird. But it's time to stop for today, because I'm having trouble staying on topic and stringing cohesive ideas together.

Please stay safe out there, okay? I don't wanna endure your absence, just like the folks who love me don't wanna endure mine. So let's both keep trying our best to keep our chins up and our eyes on the horizon, okay?

I'll leave you with this today:

I know you're not a little girl, so maybe you can think "little one" instead. Please take the overall message to heart. Please do your best to remain kind and gentle, no matter what tries to come along and break you.

I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[firecoloredwater]

Ask meme: 6, 7, 22, 30

...I had the answers 99% done and then my computer froze and I had to restart and lost all of them. So OKAY, TRYING AGAIN

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

Not really! I wish I did. I am apparently very weird in that a fic (or anything I read) needs to be a certain amount of unfamiliar, or my brain won't engage enough for me to enjoy it. If I've reread something too much then my brain will go 'oh I know what's happening, I don't need to pay attention' and wander off and get distracted. Making myself focus deliberately just means being bored and annoyed. I am also really good at remembering stories (and like nothing else) so I can read a fic twice, maybe three times if it's especially long/complex, before I have to put it down for anywhere from some months to a few years to let myself forget enough details to make it new enough to read again. (For related reasons, I basically never read my own fics for enjoyment. I'll reread to refresh my memory before writing more, or while rereading comments, but I know my own fics too well to really ever approach them as a reader. I might get enjoyment from 'oh I actually pulled that alliteration/foreshadowing/etc off well' but not just from reading the story.)

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

Uhhhhh somewhere in the range of infinite. Depends on how you define ideas for fics? If you mean fics I'm actively working on/hoping to write in the near future, that would be... about 6-8, probably? But if you mean fics I'd like to write even if I don't actually expect to have the chance, that gets up into several dozen immediately. If you include ideas that I haven't specifically thought about how I'd write them, then we're probably into the hundreds. I am an endless font of ideas and it does not turn off.

22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing?

Usually vaguely! But it ranges from 'and then everything is good the end' to like, a two-sentence bullet point of the ending scene(s). I don't plan ahead in much detail, because I do a lot of discovering and adding things as I write, and what I throw in that way will affect later scenes. So if I had a lot of detail planned for the end, I'd just have to replan/rewrite anyway when I got there, and probably be annoyed about losing lines I liked. So it works out better for me and the fic if I keep my plans minimal. There is an exception for very short fics. If I'm writing a fic that's basically just one or two scenes, and the entire momentum of the fic is writing toward the end, then I can know exactly what the end is. But that's fairly rare, partly because I also need to be able to write it all in one shot, and I rarely have that much time.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

.......................well I was going to dump a scene from one of the self insert AUs here, but it turns out two years is enough for me to no longer love the writing in that. So uhhhhhh guess I'll just. Write a new thing real quick!

(@executeness and @denialcity, enjoy)

Every clan has their own way of finding soulmates. Some are more reliable than others, and most are closely guarded. That's never mattered to Takami: the Uchiha's tradition is reliable, so any uncertainty that other clans live with isn't his problem.

He is fifteen and it is the first dawn after the winter solstice. The fire in the center of the Uchiha compound has burned all night, built steadily larger until it roars, and the flames dance as high as his chin.

Takami is not the only fifteen year old with a sharingan, but he is the clan heir, so he goes first. The entire clan sings as the first rays of dawn break through the horizon, and Takamii steps forward, sharingan burning as he shapes chakra and breathes a thin, precise stream of his own fire into the core of the flames.

He's thought before about how it would look, whether he would see his soulmate's form made of ashes and embers swirled within the flame, or if the flames themselves would twist into the right shape for only his eyes, or....

It's clearer than he imagined. As if he's looking through a window, tinted gold and shifting in the breeze, but otherwise the overlapping images are perfectly clear, as if he were looking at reality directly. But there are so many people--the fire shows the watcher's soulmate, but also everything around them, and there are so many overlapping forms. Takami prowls around the fire in a circle, watching the shifts within it, tracking which faces stay in focus.

He can hear. The longer he watches, the more sound grows. It's still thin and distant, but seems to come from deep within his own ears, so even the whole clan singing together can't quite drown out what his soulmates hear. A song, of course, and orders....

There is one flaw in the Uchiha method of identifying soulmates, Taka realizes: it's public.

He finishes a last circle of the fire. The song hasn't faltered despite the time he took, and it continues as he stops, and turns to face his father.

His whole family: Father and mother and four younger brothers, even Kunimi, who drank enough tea to keep anyone else awake for a week and is standing in his proper place with his face screwed up in determination. But Tajima is the clan head, so Takami faces him first.

Tajima's voice is pitched to carry over the song. "Have you seen what you are looking for?"

"I have," Takami says, steady as if this were any ordinary year. "There were a lot of faces, I had to move to be sure which one is mine. We should make people dance, next year."

"Then your soulmate is within the clan?"

Takami grins. "Hako's mine," he announces.

Several voices falter then, and people in the crowd shift, and surprise makes it through even Hako's near-perfect composure.

Takami is the heir, but Hako is beloved, the most beautiful and the most perfect and the most wanted. No one in the clan had even bothered to pretend they were more interested in learning Takami's soulmate now than Hako's next year.

They're not wrong, all those people chasing after Hako's every glance: Hako is the best and they should all be honored to have his sight fall on them. But he's Takami's brother first, and now no one can ever try to interfere.

In the firelight, so subtle than only the sharingan could catch it, Hako relaxes. Beside him, Madara sneaks a thumbs up, and his grin distorts his singing for a few lines.

It's not this easy, Takami knows. They're soulmates, so they won't be separated now, or expected to put anyone else first. But they'll still be expected to have friends and get married, and the whole clan and half their allies will chase Hako for both of those. Some of them will remember that some people have multiple soulmates, and keep hoping for another year that Hako will claim them even though Taka hasn't.

At the same time, it is this simple. Takami and Hako belong together, and no one will ever question it again.

Takami steps away from the fire, and goes to stand beside Hako instead of in his proper place. He takes up the song as the others look for their soulmates: one outside the clan, and one within it.

There are more traditions, more celebration, and Takami goes through them gladly with Hako at his side. Even so, Hako can read him like no one else.

It's late morning before they get even a few seconds out of everyone's sight, but the instant it's possible, Hako has Takami out of sight and hearing.

Out of sight like this, Hako isn't perfect either: his forehead is creased and worry bites in at the corners of his eyes. "Nii-sama, tell me you didn't lie."

"I didn't."

Hako frowns, his forehead creasing more, but it's true. They're soulmates. Takami didn't lie.

"Then," Hako says slowly, "why are you bothered?"

"I saw you." The images are still in Takami's eyes, hovering with sharingan clarity. The whole clan singing around the fire, centered on Hako, posed and perfect. And overlapping, a training field, four boys and a man with a voice Takami knows, barking harsh orders. "I also saw a Senju. Butsuma's son. One we haven't seen on the field yet."

"He has enough sons," Hako says harshly, then catches himself. "What did you think?"

Takami didn't think. He just watched, and knew better than to reveal anything like that. And Hako was right there to smooth things over, as always. "It doesn't matter. He'll probably just die anyway."

"You don't need him anyway," Hako says. "You have me."

"Yeah." Takami grins. "Always."

"Always," Hako promises, even though there's no need to, and then he moves on to batting a wrinkle out of Takami's clothes and herding him back out to the celebrations.

The next year, Hako looks into the fire and sees Takami alone.

Six months after that, Senju Kawarama arrives on the battlefield. He's grown, but Takami still knows that face.

He puts a scar on it.

[guardianlioness]

Wip ask game: I gotta ask about Lucky Ones or Lucky Ones Final Mix. Is that a rewrite? I'm so intrigued.

Yep, you nailed it! It’s my re-edit/additional work for Lucky Ones.

The name for the file is a joke on the Kingdom Hearts series. They often release slightly remastered versions of the KH games with the subtitle “Final Mix.” They have tightened gameplay, bonus content, and sometimes entirely additional features—so it felt appropriate.

I have over 5 chapters already on paper for the story. I have a full scene breakdown. I know exactly where everything is going, up to and including the ending.

The problem is that my actual prose skill set has changed so drastically that I can’t bring myself to wrap it up. 😭 I literally stopped drafting right before the scene I was the most excited to write! (It was an Inko scene, for the record. Love her. 💖)

Going to tuck my snippet under a Read More, and it is a bit long, with a little bit of a blanket blood/scary situation TW.

(I’m not sure how to properly note the specifics—apologies. The situation is a little weird. Just know there’s nonviolent gore, loss of control, and one very freaked out child who isn’t actually in any danger from the adult that’s scaring him.)

“Mr. Toshinori, you’re scaring me.”

The man exhaled, the noise the only indication of where he stood in the dark. “I’m scared too, kid. But you’re going to be alright.”

“I don’t understand.”

The room was still thick with the raw, bitter smell, and Izuku’s stomach twisted in panic as the rail on the side of his bed rattled.

“No, you don’t. But we’re running out of time. I have a way out, but only if I pass it to you now.”

A way out? Muscles seizing, Izuku tried to struggle back upright. The deep ache spiked as he moved. He clenched his teeth against it, pushing back, and—

“Green. Kid. Stop.”

The knot in Izuku’s gut pulled tight. “Mr. Toshinori— ”

“Will you trust me?”

Izuku swallowed, settled back down and let the pain in his limbs ease. He steadied himself, fighting to master the shaky panic and rising pulse. A way out.

An escape.

All it raised was questions. If Mr. Toshinori had a secret weapon, why had it not come into play sooner? Was there something about the surveillance? A drawback or caveat? The uncertainty of it nagged, like an itch at the back of Izuku’s mind.

But Mr. Toshinori was kind, and trust— trust was a choice.

“Yes.”

A beat of silence passed, and then the darkness flickered. Motion, not light, faster than he could track. Something slick and warm clamped down over his face.

Izuku jerked, but as his jaws parted to shout, fingers dug in under his chin.

Metal. There was metal in his mouth, metal, and salt, and sour. The smell of it burned in his nose, pooled against his teeth, dripped down to the back of his throat. Breathe— he couldn’t breathe—

He twitched again, choking as the liquid tried to slip into his lungs.


“It’s going to be alright. I’m sorry, kid. I’m so sorry, but I promise you’re okay.”



Soft. The voice was soft, the way it’d be for a caged animal, a child after a nightmare.

He couldn’t breathe. Lungs pulled for air, but there was no air, only the raw scent on his tongue, the liquid catching at the back of his mouth.

“Easy. Easy, it’s okay.”

Sparks popped at the corners of Izuku’s vision, hazy and bright against the black.

And then he weight was gone. The pressure at his jaw, the hand covering his mouth, gone. He coughed, spluttered, spitting out the acrid tang of copper.

He breathed.

The steel-edged taste was still there, bitter and overwhelming, and some of it still settled in his throat, but he breathed.

A hand brushed over his hair as he twitched and spasmed, starburst haze glowing in his periphery.

“You’re so brave, kid. Be brave for just a little longer. Be brave—and live.”

[muiltifandomnerd]

Adventures of Chika Hanabusa: The Restoration of Earth

Disclaimer: This book follows the events of Percy Jackson and Heros of Olympus fanfic, this fanfic will not include Trails of Apollo, The Kane Chronicles, and Magnus Chase.

Chapter 23: Reunion Party

Chika PoV

I woke up from my sleep and I proceeded to get ready. I brushed my teeth, and I went to the shower. I decided to make the shower hot because it is relaxing, these showers are like miniature rain. Once I’m done with the shower, I put on a green sweater, jean shorts, and a white headband for my hair. Reyna was waiting on the couch for me, and she was wearing black leggings with a purple shirt with Camp Jupiter written on it.

“I’m curious Reyna, is that the only shirt you have?” I pointed and snickered while Reyna glared at me.

“Of course not but it is comfortable, hey are you teasing me?” Reyna says in an annoyed tone. I just laugh out loud.

“Yes, I am!!! I'm sorry, you are just so cute to tease.” I winked while Reyna softened her glare and looked amused.

“You were never that bold with me before, if anything you were pretty shy.” Reyna did a small smile while I sat next to her on the couch.

“It was because I wasn’t sure how to act around you, but then I realized that I have to become bolder and more confident to get your attention.” Reyna looks on amused.

“I’m glad that you are comfortable with me now. I still would love to hang out with you if the offer still stands.”

“I would love-” I was about to answer but suddenly a black girl with brownish hair with golden eyes and an overweight Chinese boy looked on at us in some magical hologram thing.

“Sorry if we iris message you at the wrong time. Jason forgot to tell you about the reunion party we are having later in the afternoon. It is still going to be at Camp Jupiter, and Percy promises to bring in pizza. Nico will also pick up everybody through shadow travel." The black girl says informative. Man, this is so random, Reyna's friends just appeared out of nowhere and invited her to a pizza party.

“I will be there, I would also like to bring a friend if that’s alright?” Reyna asks while the black girl and Chinese boy look at each other and look back to the screen.

"Sure." The Chinese boy says and suddenly the magical hologram of the two is gone. I look at Reyna and even she looks a little bit surprised by the iris message.

“Hey Reyna, are you sure you want me to meet your friends?” I asked uncertainty. I will be honest, I’m super nervous about meeting Reyna's pals. God forbid that they might find me awkward and weird.

“Yeah, I am.” Reyna cast a warm smile and I stare back nervously with sweat coming from my forehead and my heart rate going slightly up.

“I don’t mind meeting your friends, but I'm worried that they could find me weird or like they could prevent you from hanging out with me?" Reyna pats my forehead and strokes my hair.

"They will not be like that if anything they might worry about you finding them weird because they were child soldiers and weapons for the gods their whole lives," Reyna says in a sad voice. I guess the whole child soldier is normal in this demigod world. I'm glad that Father allows me to have a normal life instead of sending me to these camps that make child soldiers.

“I guess I could give them a chance. Where will this Nico guy show up?” I ask

“Probably either 12 or 1 pm” She answered, and I quickly checked the time from the kitchen oven. It is 11:30 am right now, so pretty 30 minutes or an hour from now. I saw a note on the fridge as well, it was in Father’s handwriting. The letter is pretty much him saying that he will spend a night with his friends, and he trusts me to look after the house. I can’t blame him since it’s a Saturday and I’m leaving to meet with Reyna’s friends.

Suddenly I hear a door knock and I quickly look through a window. It looks like some emo kid with a black hoodie and black chains around his pants.

“Hey Reyna, is that Nico?” Reyna came over to the window and she looked a bit excited.

“Yeah, he is" I quickly open the door for the kid and the kid steps into the home. He looks a bit happy to see Reyna. I guess they are good friends.

“Nice to see you again Reyna.” Nico holds out his hand and Reyna just hugs him like he’s her little brother.

“Nice to see you. Nico, this is Chika.” I quickly bow to him, and we shake hands.

"Thanks for looking after Reyna, Chika," Nico said in gratitude while I blushed madly.

"It's more like the other way around." I rubbed the back of my head and laughed awkwardly.

“Well anyway I hope you girls are ready, I’m very hungry and Percy better bring the good kind of pizza.” We quickly got out of the house and Nico grabbed both of our hands and he gathered the shadow around. Oh no not this again, man I hate shadow travelling. Even back when Hyun uses it, I still hate the feeling of your body disintegrating into shadows. I felt my body disintegrating and suddenly we were back with Baccus Garden once my body came back from the shadows. There is a huge table set up for us and a bunch of teenagers like us sitting on the chairs like they were waiting for us.

The black girl and Chinese boy that was from the Iris message earlier came towards us and greeted us, “Hey sorry from earlier, my name is Hazel and this is my boyfriend Frank” She pointed towards Frank while the Chinese boy, Frank, looked on sheepishly.

“Yeah we are very sorry about that situation," Frank says apologetically.

“No it's fine, I was just surprised. Thank you for letting me go with Reyna to this party." I say in gratitude. Suddenly a blonde girl with grey eyes and a teenage boy with sea-green eyes appeared and they brought Dominos.

“Hey guys, I Got PIZZA!!!!!!" the teenage boy with green eyes shouted

“They can already tell Seaweed Brain.” The blond girl stated the obvious.

“I know Wise Girl, I’m just happy we don’t have to deal with godly dram anymore.” The boy says in a laidback manner. Reyna and I took our seats on the table and looked at who was sitting across from me, It was Jason Grace with his white dress shirt, and next to him was a native American girl with colorful eyes holding onto him. It looks like they are a couple.

"Nice to see you again Reyna and Chika," Jason says politely while his girlfriend looks at me in curiosity, as if she's wondering if I'm a threat. Frank brought the plates and he gave everybody else plates and napkins. The green-eyed teenager gives us each a slice of pizza. It's your classic hand-tossed cheese pizza from Domino's. Nico, Frank, and Jason look like they tasted Dominos for the first time and they seem to enjoy it. Piper, Reyna, and I just calmly ate our slices and tried to savor the flavor. The blonde girl and the green-eyed teenager sit at the center of the table. The green-eyed teenager calls out to me, "Do you want to introduce yourself?"

I took center stage in front of the other people, “My name is Chika Hanabusa and I’m a daughter of Demeter. I’ve let Reyna stay in my home for this semester.” The blonde girl and the native American girl stare at me.

“If you are a daughter of Demeter, how come you never been to Camp Half-Blood?” the blonde girl asked in curiosity.

“Because my father didn’t exactly trust it. My godly mother just relented and let me have something closer to a normal life. Reyna told me that you all must sacrifice your childhoods to keep the world safe. For that, you guys have my gratitude." I say as I bow to the group.

“No problem, my name is Piper Mclean and I’m a daughter of Aphrodite and Slayer of Mother Earth.” The native American girl with colorful eyes says as she finishes up her slice.

"I'm Percy Jackson and son of Poseidon," The green eye teenager says as he is eating the slice.

“I’m Annabeth Chase and I’m a daughter of Athena. I'm also the architect of Olympus, survivor of Tartarus, defeater of the Titan King, and the discoverer of Athena Parthenos" The blonde girl says with a smug smile while Percy looks on with hearts in his eyes. I have a feeling that they are a couple.  Dang this girl is very accomplished and she seems very proud of it.

"You already met me before, but I want to be formal this time. My name is Jason Grace and I'm the son of Jupiter and also slayer of Gaia.” Jason looks on with electricity spinning around his eyes.

“My name is Hazel Levesque and I'm the daughter of Pluto. I am part of the seven with Frank, Jason, Percy, Piper, Annabeth, and Leo."  Everybody looks on in sadness when this Leo is brought up, I'm assuming that he died during the quest.

“Honestly we owe all of this to Leo, he sacrificed himself to burn Gaia, so we can sit here and have pizza," Jason says as everybody else is silently listening to Jason, I guess the wounds of Leo passing away really did a number on them. Just what did Gaia do to them? I wonder if she gives a damn about how her actions hurt these innocent people? I know that she must have terrorized them.

“I’m just glad that we don’t have to deal with Gaia, She and the gods of Olympus ruined our lives far enough. Honestly, guys, I'm thinking about leaving both camps and just giving the mortal world a chance. Piper and I already talked about this, and we will leave once the party is over." Percy just pats him on the shoulder while Frank and Hazel tearfully hug him. Both Nico and Reyna look at Jason in sympathy. Annabeth looks on to Jason in understanding.

“You know Jason, I feel the same way. I’m leaving both camps again. I want to find myself away from being a son of Hades.” Everybody looked shocked while Reyna looked like she got shot in the chest. I can tell that Nic means so much to Reyna because she is fighting back tears. Suddenly Reyna tackled hug Nico to the ground while Nico looked startled. Everybody looks on in amusement.

“Nico, you better stay alive or else.” Reyna threatened while Nico just chuckled.

"Don't worry Reyna I will be. I will always be here for you guys no matter what. I just want to explore myself.” Nico says earnestly.

“What about Will?” Jason asked

“He and I broke up; we realize that we are better as friends. He even supported me on this.” Percy looks unsure of what Nico and Jason are doing while Annabeth looks on in approval.

“It’s safe to say but we all need a break from being a demigod. Jason and Piper have fun with being regular high schoolers. Nico, you are always welcome to Camp Half-Blood” Annabeth says sternly. I’m assuming she’s the leader of the group.

"And Camp Jupiter" Reyna stated while Nico laughed.

“You know, we should all dance together one last time.” Percy grabbed Annabeth and they just danced. Frank carries Hazel and proceeds to dance with her. Jason and Piper just dance on the spot while Reyna, Nico, and I watch them dance together. Even after all of that crap that they went to, they still had time to have fun. These poor demigods are just victims of the higher power, I could have been like them if Father didn’t fight for me. I decided to awkwardly dance around them but Reyna also held my hand together and we just danced together. Nico looks super surprised to see Reyna dancing with me. I’m kinda shocked too and I can feel everybody else looking at me.

“Pretend that they are not there.”I buried my head in Reyna's shoulder while she tenderly held my hands together. Before you know it, they all fade to the background, and Reyna, and I dance in our separate world.

As everybody stopped dancing, we all finished our pizzas. I want to ask the group questions before the party is over.

"Hey guys I was wondering what exactly Gaia did to you?" Everybody looks uneasy like they were traumatized by her actions.

“She started the Second Giant War, she tries to trick Hazel by bringing both her and her mother to Alaska to revive, she causes the fire that killed Leo's mom, he stole Thanatos doors which caused Percy, Annabeth, and Nico to travel through Tartarus to close them, and she's been manipulating Camp Half-Blood And Camp Jupiter to go to war with each other," Jason stated while everybody else nodded on.

"It's just very messed up that a being will do all of this to you guys," I say in a compassionate tone. Gaia needs to answer for all she has done to this group of demigods, she can’t just ruin people's lives.

"Honestly the gods are selfish scumbags, they never care about who they hurt. I'm glad that Leo burns that  bitch alive. We have always been manipulated to fight their wars. Gaia, Cronus, and Zeus are all horrible.” Percy angrily says while everybody just silently agrees. No one wants to argue with Percy, not even his girlfriend.

“I’m not going to lie; I was very nervous meeting you guys since all of you are Reyna’s friends. You guys are chill, and I hope that we can hang out again.” Everybody just applauds and gives me a handshake.

The group told me more horror stories about the war and some like Jason and Percy taught me some fighter pointers. Hazel showed me how she manipulated the ground and I showed her about making some plants grow faster. Hazel has cooler abilities than I do, I guess we children of Demeter are pretty much useless.

Everybody watched Annabeth and Reyna spar and I could confidently see that they could beat up UFC fighters. They are so evenly matched, and they both landed some successful hits at each other. Piper looks very uncertain around me and just doesn’t attempt to talk to me. I wonder if she hates my guts or something.

Despite Piper being a bit cold to me, the party was a blast, and we all had a good time. Next time I see Gaia, I will need to confront her on all of this. She needs to know why her actions are just plain wrong.