#i'm interested to hear why you think that

[cherrygirlfriend]

touchy subject III pairing: reader x exfiancé!rafe synopsis: seeing your ex-fiancé after four years. warnings: angst and comfort. fluff. mentions of miscarriage/stillbirth and DUI. wc: 2.7k part 3 and the last part of touchy subject! click here for part 1, click here for part 2 i really liked writing for them and honestly i'm considering occasionally writing blurbs for them and what their relationship would shape into, lmk if you'd be interested!!

seeing you in front of that store felt like it might've killed rafe. the first face he fell in love with, the woman who'd left him with nothing but scars and an engagement ring. somehow, he still managed to stay alive.

but hearing you say his name in the soft voice he hadn't heard in over four years, the same one that you used to tell him you loved him every single night before your body went slack in his arms, that might have been the final blow.

"what are you doing here?" you managed to mutter, your hand instinctively going to your locket, squeezing it in your hand, and the gesture didn't go unnoticed by rafe.

"what's this?" rafe asked as the two of you laid in bed, his finger tracing the patterns on the heart-shaped locket resting on your chest, the one you'd worn around your neck for as long as he'd known you.

"this?" you asked, opening the locket, displaying two pictures; one of them was of you when you were a little girl, standing between your parents with a wide, toothy grin on your face, and the other was a picture of you and rafe, taken at midsummers. "i got this from my mom. it's a family heirloom of sorts. when she's born," you looked down at your stomach, "we've gotta get a picture taken of us three so i can put it here."

he let out a small chuckle, "i'm honored that you want me in your heart."

"i think you're always going to be in my heart," you rolled your eyes, "whether i want it or not."

"i'm here to see you. i thought that'd be obvious." rafe said without an ounce of emotion in his voice, the sound causing a shiver to run down your spine. grieving your daughter on what would've been her fifth birthday wasn't a moment you exactly wanted your ex to witness, but this was still rafe. the man you loved for so long, the only man you ever loved, the one you were going to marry, and this was still the house that was supposed to be your home.

so you stepped aside, pulling your cardigan closed as a way to close yourself off from the man as you walked further into the house, not daring yourself to look back at him, fearing the urge that still remained in your chest to just pull him close to you and be in his arms.

you heard the door close, pressing your eyes shut as you stood in front of the fireplace, your arms crossed in front of your chest as if defending yourself, the man's footsteps echoing in the room, "it's cold in here."

"the radiator's broken."

"can you just, at least look at me, or something?"

"do i have to?" you chuckled humorlessly, and when you felt his hand on your shoulder, it felt like the room got ten degrees colder, the man slowly turning you around to face him, and when you refused to look up at him, focusing on the baby blue sweater he was wearing, he brought his hand to your chin, gently lifting it up, just like he did every time he was about to kiss you.

"we need to talk."

if someone was to ask you what would be the most uncomfortable situation you had ever been in, this would be among the top 3, right after you got the 'birds and the bees' talk and the time you said your goodbyes to the same man now sitting beside you, the space between you two big enough to fit another person.

"why did you come back?" rafe asks, without even sparing you a glance. you decide to do the same, your gaze staying on the fire crackling in front of you.

"i don't know. a part of me thinks it's because i missed home."

"and the other part?"

missed us. missed her. "missed my mom, i guess."

your mother had driven you home from the hospital, insisting that she'd stay with you for the next few days; you still hadn't seen rafe. you couldn't face him, couldn't face the guilt you carried around for being the reason your daughter would be coming home in an urn.

she'd gone to the store for groceries, leaving you to sit on the couch you and rafe had picked out, staring at the engagement picture that hung above the fireplace.

you didn't know how it started, how every single vase ended up as nothing but shards of glass on the floor, how the coffee table had ended up as planks of wood, how your fists were bruised from beating them against the walls, your knees bloody from when you'd collapsed on the ground amongst all the glass.

"do you know what day it is?" rafe asked with a weak voice, and you could hear him try to swallow down the emotion crawling up his throat.

his question made you want to let out a small, humorless laugh. you don't know how you could ever forget. "of course." the day i killed her.

rafe stood up, running his hand over his chin before trailing over the short strands of hair on his head, "why did you do it?" he looked to you. "why did you leave?"

"i had no reason to stay." you say emotionlessly, your fingers intertwined as you kept your eyes on them as if you were praying.

"you had me. you would've had me if you just let me be there."

"rafe, i killed our daughter."

"what-"

"i'm the reason our daughter isn't here. i'm the reason she doesn't exist. i'm the reason that today isn't only her fifth birthday, but also the fifth anniversary of her death."

rafe kneeled down in front of you, his hands cupping your cheeks, not caring if it made you uncomfortable, or that this was the first time he'd properly touched you in over four years, the only thing that mattered to him was that you listened.

"you did not kill our daughter."

"i did."

"no." he scoffed, "you aren't the reason she's dead. the reason is the drunken asshole who drove at you. you loved her with your entire being, with everything you had, even before she was born. you would've been the most amazing mother in the world. don't you dare blame yourself for something you had zero control over."

"i shouldn't have driven in that weather. i knew it was gonna be raining, that the roads would be slippery-"

"no." rafe said sternly, "look at me."

your eyes moved to look into rafe's steel-blue ones, shimmering with unshed tears, his jaw clenched, and only then did you realize that he was cupping your face in his hands, his touch somehow managing to make you feel warm even in the cold apartment.

"i won't have you blame yourself for something you had no fuckin' control over. evelyn was so wanted, by both of us. she would've been so loved. we would've done anything to protect her, and to keep her safe. if any fucker even thought about hurting her, i would've made sure they'd regret ever being born. but you are not to blame for her not being here."

rafe's hands moved from your cheeks to your hands, the man instead taking your clenched fists into his, letting out a small sniffle, and when he pressed his eyes closed and let out a sigh, a tear rolled down his cheek.

"yeah, you could've not driven in the rain. but i should've been the one to drive you to your mom's, you were eight months along, an insane man would make you drive yourself, or i should've made sure you got home before it was dark, or i should've picked you up myself. there are so many things we could've done differently, but that doesn't mean that either of us is to blame for it."

"i spent so long blaming myself for what happened, but not even for a moment did i blame you. you did everything to keep her safe, and i know it, and i'm sure that she knows it too. you loved her more than anything, and i won't let some drunk driving idiot make you feel like you did anything wrong."

slowly, you opened your fists, half-moon prints on the palms on your hands caused by your nails, and without even realizing, tears had been rolling down your eyes the entire time that rafe had been speaking, the man standing up and pressing a kiss on your forehead that felt like it burnt and would leave a mark that'd be there forever, before he settled down next to you.

a strand of hair was stuck on your cheek, almost glued on there by the tears you shed, the blonde man tugging it behind your ear, his eyes still on you, his hands still cupping yours.

"i don't blame you for what happened, nor do i blame you for pushing me away. but i wish you would've let me in, to be there for you, instead of leaving. so we could've grieved her together."

"i think we should break up, rafe."

"what?" rafe turned to look at you; this wasn't what he had been expecting to hear after two months of silence, "if this is about the baby-"

"i can't do it anymore." you closed your eyes, letting a tear run down your cheek, "i need to leave. start over."

you turned your head to look at him, his words feeling like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, and even though you tried to find it, there was nothing in his eyes that said that he was lying.

"you don't blame me for any of it?"

your voice was weak and feeble, as if a part of you was expecting him to tell you that he did, but when he pulled you into his embrace, he told you the truth in the best way he knew how to: without saying a single word.

you didn't know how long you had been in rafe's arms; it felt like hours, while also feeling like the moment had lasted mere seconds, like you two lived in your own bubble. it felt like the last four years hadn't happened, like you had never left.

but when he pulled away from the embrace and looked down at his watch, letting out a sigh, you knew what was coming. the bubble burst.

"i should probably get going." rafe let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed the bridge of his nose before starting to get up off the couch, stretching his long limbs.

"yeah, yeah." you said softly, clearing your throat, trying to act like nothing had happened, like you hadn't gone through every memory you shared while he was just holding you to comfort you, "your girlfriend's probably waiting for you."

rafe stopped in his tracks, turning to look down at you, "girlfriend?"

"shit," you chuckle softly, fidgeting with your hands and chewing on your lower lip, "i guess she's your fiancée, now."

he sat down on the couch next to you while you simply avoided his gaze, not wanting him to read everything you were feeling like he so often seemed to do, but your attempt was unsuccessful, the man bringing his hand to your chin and gently turning your head so you were forced to look at him, his brows slightly furrowed while he looked at you pointedly.

"what girlfriend, or fiancée?"

you didn't know if rafe was acting stupid, or if he was genuinely confused, but you could still remember the woman with him at the jewelry store, the woman who had managed to make him smile, whose back rafe placed his hand on.

"you know," you clear your throat, taking his hand off your chin and turning your head away from him, not wanting him to see the tears brimming in your eyes as you thought about him waiting at the aisle for another woman, "the woman at the jewelry store."

rafe let out a soft laugh, and when you turned your head, facing him, he was nearly keeling over in laughter, his head in his hands.

"what?"

"that-" rafe said inbetween laughs, "that wasn't my girlfriend."

"what?" you mumbled softly, your brows furrowing, "what do you mean, rafe?"

"sorry-" he continued laughing for a while only to be stopped by a soft smack you delivered to his shoulder, before the man took a deep breath, looking at you with a small smile gracing his lips, a sight that still got your heart to flutter, "that wasn't my girlfriend, or my fiancée."

"then... who was she?"

"that was," rafe let out another chuckle as if you had said something foolish, taking one of your hands in his and intertwining your fingers, "wheezie's girlfriend."

you tried processing the words that had left his lips, but no matter what, they didn't seem to make since. "why were you in a jewelry store together? wheezie's only like-"

"wheezie's nineteen." rafe shook his head, "her girlfriend, lucy, asked me to help her pick out a ring. sarah was supposed to go with her, but she had some preschool stuff to deal with relating to jack, so i got stuck with that duty…"

"isn't nineteen a bit... young?"

"it is. but you remember how young we were when we got engaged? or sarah?" a fond smile took over rafe's lips as he turned to look at the fire that was slowly burning out, letting the next words out in a hushed tone. "guess it runs in the family."

"guess so." you say, biting down on your lip, turning to look at the fire with him, your cheeks warm as you felt like an idiot for your assumption.

"i still haven't moved on." rafe said, letting out a breath, "i don't know if i can. i don't think i even want to." you turned to look back at one another at the same time, both of you seeing the same melancholy in the other one's eyes, "there's no one i would ever want to be with other than you."

you took a deep breath, his words ringing through your head as you looked at him, a damp trail running down his cheek was still visible from the tears he had shed, and you took a deep breath, making a decision that you knew would impact the rest of your life.

"me neither, rafe."

you brought your hand to his cheek and felt the tear he had shed under your touch, pulling his face to meet yours until your lips clashed, feeling the exact same that it did four years ago, making you wonder how you ever let it go.

SIX MONTHS LATER...

you laid on a blanket in the middle of a field of sunflowers, your arms crossed behind your head and your eyes pressed closed, letting the sun beam down your face, warming you up as your bare feet were being tickled by blades of grass.

your daydreaming was interrupted by the sound of footsteps, and you opened one of your eyes to see rafe stumble through the long flowers into the small clearing you'd found, a small chuckle leaving your lips.

"don't laugh at me." he scolded, shaking his head as he landed on the blanket next to you, letting out a soft grunt.

"why not?" you asked, sticking your tongue out at him, your boyfriend gasping in feigned offence, about to quip back at you, only to be stopped by the small, chaste peck you pressed on his lips, even the small display of affection managing to leave him speechless.

as he settled down next to you, you smiled while looking up at the sky, white clouds covering a part of the beautiful icy blue nothingness that was so much like rafe's eyes, your thoughts on her. you took rafe's hand in yours, keeping your eyes trained up while you let yourselves just exist together.

"you're always going to be in my heart, evelyn louise cameron." you said softly as you traced the patterns on your locket, rafe turning his head to look at you, a somber expression on his face as he pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"yeah, she will. and neither of us will ever forget her."

[kaelidascope]

On one hand, I'm relieved to see that it isn't just me suffering in the engagement department whereas I used to get flooded with comments and the like every time I dropped something. It isn't the only reason why I've moved from fanfic work to original work, but it is part of it. The last round of engagement on the latest MM chapter was abysmal, and while I know it's not a reflection of my quality in writing, I kept beating myself up over the possibility that I took too long to update it and people gave up on it/forgot/fell out of love with my work because I as a creator was not performing good enough. It drove me into a bit of a depression for a while.

On the other hand, this is making me rethink my stance on never telling my favorite authors how much they have inspired me to take off with my writing career. This is going to get a little lengthy but I want to talk about it so bear with me here.

Closed circles know how much of an insane, unhinged fan I am of certain writers, yet I have never actually said a word to them. I think I left one comment on maybe two fics that went unanswered (which is fine. They're not active in the fandoms I'm in anymore and I'm just some guy out of probably hundreds all saying the same thing. They're not gonna reply to me) but apart from that, you wouldn't catch me dead actually admitting how much the works mean to me. But why?

I guess I was far too proud and too terrified of being let down if I exposed myself like that. Despite the fact that these authors were literal catalysts for borderline impossible feats I have done within the last year, WELL RECEIVED FEATS at that, I swore I'd never tell anyone how inspiring they were for me. (Unless a casual friendship has been established. I have had the tremendous honor to able to talk to some of my inspirations one on one but under incredibly lucky circumstances)

I had a scenario in my head that these were the cool kids, and if you ever got picked on at all for admiring anything, you know damn well you never tell the cool kids about your admiration. I was afraid that they'd take one look at the work that was inspired by theirs and laugh at it in their enclosed circles. I wasn't going to risk having my confidence crushed and lose the motivation to continue working on my projects by being a fan.

I know not all authors do this. Every time someone comes to me and tells me I've inspired them to be a better writer, I literally frame it in a collection of screenshots I have saved on a hard drive. Every. Single. Time. And I know anyone else would tell me that if the person I admire would actually be cruel enough to mock an up and coming writer, then they're not worth admiring. Which I agree with! But try telling that to sensitive little Kaeli that safeguards their interests with the fiery defensiveness of a feral bear on cocaine.

But then I see posts like this, and I put myself in their shoes. I don't know them. They could be a jackass but they could also be like me - someone who bases a lot of motivation for project completion based off of whether or not people even care to see it completed.

This is all a very long, round about away to say that who cares if the author you build a mini-shrine for in your brain thinks your cringe for liking their work? Odds are they probably need to hear that you liked it so much, it inspired you to do something with that feeling. We all need to hear it. They inspired you and now you're making something that will inspire someone else. To be a creator is to share that passion everywhere you go. There's nothing cringe about it.

A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.

My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.

My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.

This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.

Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.

I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.

So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

because I'm a world class kvetcher and I frequently use this blog as a space to think about things I find irksome, I catch a decent number of replies to the tune of "why are you dedicating so much time to something you don't like, go touch grass." this tends to happens once the posts have breached containment, past the initial protective layer of my followers and their followers and into folks who don't know me or my whole deal and can't seem to imagine anyone expressing frustration without imagining that person shaking and sobbing as they crytype, working themselves into a state of upset that will ruin their whole day.

which is so interesting to me! what do you mean, you don't get a kick out of gnawing on things that irk you like a dog with a bone? that's enrichment to my mind, the puzzle of trying to figure out exactly why this thing is the way it is and why it hits so wrong. if it were genuinely upsetting then yes, of course I'd stop dwelling on it; you'd probably never even hear me talk about it in the first place. but just rattling around on why certain trends or creative choices or what have you are objectionable and dissatisfying, that's just interesting to think about it. it's a bummer that so many people seem unfamiliar with complaining as a recreational activity rather than a sign of distress, because it's so much fun!

[thelesbiancitizen]

On Women-Loving-Women and Building Our Culture.

a big problem I have with a lot of lesbians is that they want soooo badly for lesbian art and culture to be ~cool~ and ~epic~ and to ~go mainstream~ and they'll be crying and wailing abt the "lack of lesbian representation" ... yeah, in the mainstream. Cus NEWSFLASH. REAL lesbian art, art that's saying something important, will NEVER BE MAINSTREAM. Because mainstream media is built on a whole system of values that entirely excludes the female viewpoint by design. and ESPECIALLY so when it comes to women whose lives center around other women.

Most lesbians, including myself once upon a time, suffer from a massive cultural inferiority complex. It's why you see so many young females identifying as gay men, because they think the culture is way cooler, more glamorous. Cus gay men have money. Lesbians do not.

Lesbian cultural works are made with very little money. And they're made for a specific audience -- other women-who-love-women -- and so they don't cater to what mainstream / malestream values think are cool. Lesbian art particularly from the 70s / 80s (and onward) is following a completely different set of values. It's about clear communication, not obfuscation. It isn't about technique, it's about clarity. It's about bringing what is supposed to be hidden out into the open. It's about using whatever you can to say whatever you've got to say. It's earnest. It's genuine. It's affectionate. It's awkward. It's clumsy. It's a loving gesture. but sooooo depressingly many young women hate it and won't give it a second glance bc you are obsessed with male approval. You crave male approval of these artistic works and you know you'll never get it, you know men will just laugh and dismiss these works bc lesbian art makes men uncomfortable. Because it's so specifically female. It's coming from a different place. A female place. Aimed at other females. Men can't understand it.

And guess what? It doesn't fucking matter. It doesn't. There is TONS AND TONS AND TONS of incredible Lesbian art and cultural products that so many lesbians my age will scoff at and say it sucks bc it isn't "cool", you think it's "cringe", but you never look at why you it is you think that way. Lesbian artists today mostly suck because they're still trying to gain approval from male-dominated institutions, where masculinist value systems still reign supreme. They're not trying to say anything that's really of value to lesbians and continuing the growth and expansion of lesbian culture. They're disconnected from the culture that made it possible for them to be out and open in the first place. They've disowned the women who came before them and did all the messy, difficult work.

Lesbian artists who have made works in the tradition of the Lesbian feminist culture that started in the 70s are so fascinating, their work is very challenging, and really makes you look at things differently. Yet, this tradition is in danger of dying out bc the younger generations are not interested. Because it isn't "cool". Because these lesbians were politically engaged and knew how powerful it was to subvert patriarchal masculinist value systems with their art. But you just look at it and see "bad art". Hmm. Ever wonder why that is?

I'm mostly speaking of visual culture here, but also music, and poetry, too. We need to understand the value of having cultural works created By Lesbians For Lesbians. Eschewing masculinist values. Creating new vocabularies. Really listening to each other. Really trying to hear what we are saying. We need to do this or else Lesbian culture will really truly be dead in a decade or two. It'll just be women copying pornified culture and thinking that's what it means to be a lesbian.

We have to make art about our experiences as women-loving-women, we have to hear each other, see each other, and talk about what we are doing. We need to be having conversations about what we want Lesbian culture to be. And building upon the legacy of the women who came before. This is how we make meaning out of our lives; meaning that is self-determined. It's stupid to sit here and take whatever crumbs we are given from artists who still are trying to appease malestream audiences. Or wailing that there are no good lesbian representations in media. We need to represent ourselves. We need to represent our lives as we see them, as we live them.

We need to value the works that we create, for ourselves, and for each other. Put our powerful Lesbian voices at the center of everything we say and do.

This is how we will find each other. This is how we will banish our loneliness and hopelessness and cast out despair. We let our lights shine and we make room for each other. We've GOT to start having CONVERSATIONS ABOUT CULTURE.

Art scenes are like gardens. Every work of art is like a plant. What do we want to cultivate? What do we want to plant to feed ourselves and for the next generations of lesbians? It's all up to us. If we want new images, we have to create them. If we want new sounds, we have to make them. If we want new language, we have to invent it.

We as women NEED to make works of art that express how we feel about ourselves and each other. How we love each other. How we hate each other. What we mean to each other. What our relationships mean, what they really look like. How it really feels to try and fail and succeed at loving one another. When we are at the center of our own worlds. We have to stop marginalizing our own experiences and voices inside our heads and JUST SPEAK.

Every piece of art you make adds your voice to a lineage of ideas. It becomes a part of a historical narrative. It means we are here. Our work is important. We have the right to speak on and engage with stories, narratives, systems of values, concepts, and ideas. And if you can, you should. If you have the opportunity, you're lucky. Do it.

Speak.

Say something. Say anything. Be honest. Be messy. Be real. Make something.

CREATE, WOMAN!

We need to seriously engage with each other's ideas. We need to respect each other's intellect and artistic processes enough to let ourselves unfold. We need to quit arguing so much and PUT IT INTO ART. AND PUT IT OUT THERE. PLEASE!

BECAUSE I NEED TO HEAR YOU!!!!! AND I NEED YOU TO HEAR ME!!!!!!

We have nothing left to lose.

Maybe I'll start a magazine.

[uravitypng]

previous

soulmate hanta who is completely oblivious that it's almost shocking. the way you skirt around the subject of soulmates whenever someone brings it up, while nervous and looking everywhere that isn't in his direction.

you think you've been careful, you think you've tried to not put hanta in a difficult position and people do let the topic go when you try to avoid it. they don't think your soulmate is hanta but they know something is up.

hanta doesn't. for someone who spends all his time with you, thinks about you all the time, and always pays attention to the little things you do he doesn't notice something is up about the topic of soulmates. you act like he acts around the subject so it doesn't weigh on his mind at all.

soulmate hanta used to get asked a lot about his soulmate. denki whining about how he hasn't found his soulmate yet. "i know they're out there somewhere! it just sucks that i haven't found them yet! aren't you in the same boat? loads of people have already found their soulmates or are uploading pictures online trying to find them! there's a whole reddit page dedicated to it, it's so frustrating."

"i don't care about my soulmate," he responded flatly and kaminari looks at him like he's grown two heads.

one day in your second year of ua iida and hatsume walk around campus stuck together, glued to the hip. it seemed super out of character for him. he didn't even tell anyone he found his soulmate, not until the following week where asai asked about why he was spending so much time together with her. hanta regrets being in the room when that happens. "she's my soulmate."

"what?" midoriya looks so excited for him. "so many people have found their soulmate now! there's not many people that haven't, i'm so happy for you iida. speaking of soulmates how are you and uraraka tsu? you found each other before i found todoroki and before most people found there soulmate."

he drowns out her answer but when hearing his name he's back to paying attention, that is, before hearing the full question and wishing he was anywhere else. "sero you still haven't found your soulmate right? i'm sure you will soon."

"thanks midoriya but i'm not interested in meeting my soulmate." his phone is face up on the table, it beeps and he sees a text from you, his whole face lights up. they all see your name flash on his phone, a photo of you and him on his background, they never bring up his soulmate again.

in your third year of ua mina comes bounding into the dorm shouting about how she's found her soulmate. "i've never even really spoken to yui before but i've always thought she was pretty and her quirk is so cool! sero have you posted a photo of your mark online? you never know if someone will come across it and it'll be you introducing yourself or they'll recognise their handwriting."

"even if i did find my soulmate it wouldn't matter." she's about to ask what you mean but you walk into the room, his eyes trail yours with fondness she's never seen in his before and drops the subject.

people don't ask him questions anymore. he doesn't care about his soulmate because he has you.

soulmate hanta who, even though he doesn't get asked about by his friends anymore, still has to see online articles and speculation from fans all over social media. 'have the famous ua alumni war heroes found their soulmates?' 'i'm still holding out hope that me and cellaphane are soulmates !!!!' 'cellaphane and froppy spotted together out of their hero suits.'

after reading the headline, 'PROOF that reveals pro hero cellaphane's soulmate,' he made sure to never enter that restaurant in the thumbnail with you again. the whole article is full of photos taken by fans and paparazzi of the two of you. there's a lot of them but it makes sense to him with how much time you spend together. there's more regular photos like you two on patrol or walking down carpets together on your way into the entrances to a gala and some not so regular ones that fans have taken without either of your knowledge or consent but that's one of the cons about being a hero.

there's a photo taken at the cinema when you went to see the new studio ghibli film the boy and and the heron. you can tell it's the two of you even though it's dark, his elbows and your hair gives it away. you're leaning against him and sharing popcorn, his arm resting on the armrest.

there's a photo of his tape wrapped around your hand, while you're both grinning, it was christmastime and you were shopping, you couldn't find any tape so he said he'd give you some of his.

there's a blurry photo taken of the two of you in a small cafe, it looks like it was taken in a hurry. you and hanta are sitting across from each other at a table and you've got your mouth open, hanta's leaning forward with a fork, going to feed you some of his food.

there's dozens of photos and it just makes him want to be more careful when going out in public with disguises.

'PROOF that reveals pro hero cellaphane's soulmate.' hanta wishes that was true.

he looked at the first comment but clicked off when it was someone talking about how you're 'couple goals,' the amount of likes on that comment was astonishingly high for two words.

soulmate hanta doesn't care if people see his soulmate mark, he doesn't even think about so when he lifts up his jumper and his shirt lifts up as well during games night bakugou scowls.

he doesn't remember random words and sentences his friends said to each other nearly a decade ago now. but this. he knows this. on hanta's hip, in your handwriting, is his soulmate mark.

bakugou knows your writing well, he made you study. he'd put a timer on his phone and you'd sit together studying until the timer ran out, he'd talk you through anything you didn't know and understand. he'd snatch your paper out of your hand after it got graded and read everything you wrote. bakugou is one of the reasons you passed your classes, he's probably the only reason you passed your classes. that's why he knows that's your handwriting and seeing that it's your handwriting just pisses him off.

'why the hell is soy sauce face always looking at her like that if she's his soulmate and they're destined together.'

someone else could think that they're together but just haven't announced it to the public but bakugou knows that isn't true. he knows you're single, he's a hundred percent sure you are. it's true that something is definitely up about your soulmate situation and now he's got a clue of what that might be but whenever he makes a comment about how being single is good for his career because he can focus more on being number one you agree with the same sentiment.

'does that mean she rejected him? i don't know about that. would someone spend that much time with someone they rejected? what if they never realised. no that doesn't seem possible.'

"yo bakugou, you good? you're just kind of staring at sero with daggers in your eyes." kirishima asks noticing that bakugou hasn't taken his off of sero for awhile.

bakugou is straightforward, he's honest, he speaks his mind, he cares about his friend even if the public doesn't understand that. he gives his friends nicknames that people don't understand, even though he's the number one hero he still get's backlash for that. even with the backlash the nicknames stay the same, his first two friends at ua still get called 'shitty hair' and 'shitty women', he still calls denki 'dunce face', jirou 'ears' but he cares about them all.

all that caring is amplified when it's comes to you and you're involved, he's protective of you- emotionally. ever since he's met you you've been competing on who's better, you're the number ten hero always saying that you'll take his place soon, he knows you can handle yourself but when it comes to emotion- he worries. without him would you be friends with all the people you are now? you were worse at making connections with people than bakugou was and that's saying something, all because you were so quiet and worried about your soulmate situation.

he knows there's speculation that you're his soulmate but you both ignore it, he doesn't love you, at least romantically. it's definitely an emotion he can't put his finger on though, he guesses it's likely brotherly love but he's an only child so he can't be sure about that.

"why the hell do you act all lovesick all the time when your soulmate is spending everyday with you?"

hanta's mind goes blank. what the hell is he talking about? "huh, i- what?"

bakugou tuts, 'why is he acting like he doesn't know?' "i'm not a fucking idiot. shitty women's handwriting is on your hip."

hanta's eyebrows furrow, "i think i'd know if one of my best friends was my soulmate bakugou. this isn't her writing."

"holy fuck, you are an idiot. i've spent enough time studying with her to know."

"you obviously didn't if you think that." hanta retorts. 'there's just no way that's her writing.' he hasn't actually seen your handwriting that much and certainly not in recent years. it's one of the things he hasn't committed to memory about you but he knows for a fact that's not your handwriting. 'wait was does my soulmate mark even say?' he doesn't remember, he hasn't properly looked at it for so long now.

hanta lifts up his top again to read what it says, tilting his head trying to read it upside down. bakugou answers his silent request knowing that he wouldn't have asked and tells him what is says.

"i don't remember hearing 'thanks sero, you were great too,' but... wait, that... that does look a bit like her handwriting." he stares at the mark, trying to think back.

"yeah, plain face that's because it is." bakugou crosses his arms and looks at him annoyed.

soulmate hanta thinks everything bakugou just said to him through. "hold up," hanta lets go of his top again letting it drop down and moves around the all the furniture to go into a back room. he's so glad this game night is taking place at his. he leaves without anymore explanation and starts rummaging around in his spare room where he keeps things from the past, from ua and before that.

in one of the cardboard boxes at the back is notes from you that he's kept. they weren't meaningful or particularly very sentimental but they were notes you passed him in class. you sat far away from each other and would do mad libs and hangman. he didn't focus on the way you wrote each singular letter at the time.

you'd give him notes that said things like '6 letters. clue: current annoyance' he was able to win that fairly easy. after winning, writing back 'is mineta a current annoyance if you're always annoyed at him?'

you'd pass back a note for him that read, 'write me back: celebrity name, colour, adjective, object, colour, emotion, animal! after class - if you can read the completed filled in sentence without laughing or smiling you get to choose the film for tonight' it was always hard for him not to laugh or smile, especially when he had to say things like "hawks always wanted an orange handsome dildo-" he couldn't keep it in and grinned after that, you ended up choosing the film.

hanta can't pinpoint the exact moment he started to crumple up the paper, holding it tightly in his hand. he's figured it out, that's your handwriting! he clutches onto his shirt and takes deep breathes. he has to tell you! you have to know! you're meant to be together the proof is right in front of him, the proof is forever marked into his skin. it'll be a shock to you and he knows it's probably not the best to spring it on you but you have to know.

leaving all the notes scattered across the floor he quickly gets up to talk to everyone. "bakugou's right!" bakugou rolls his eyes at that. "i-i can't believe she's actually my soulmate. i have to go."

"wait what, go where?" kirishima questions. kaminari overlaps him, at the same time congratulating him.

"she's not on duty tonight, i have to tell her!" no one really has a proper chance to respond before he's already left.

"should we leave?" kirishima looks around the room.

"nah, we've already opened our drinks and booted up the tv. we'll go later." kaminari picks up his beer.

soulmate hanta who rushes over to where you live, banging on the front door loudly. you wonder who's knocking at such an hour and so noisily at that. it's not abnormal for hanta to come by but he's with the guys tonight and he doesn't knock like this, he usually knocks the same pattern which he refers to as his own chime of a doorbell. you open the door and you're surprised to see hanta, looking at you... strangely? "oh, hanta! i wasn't expecting you. weren't you supposed to be hosting games night tonight? is everything okay?"

hanta doesn't answer the question and instead asks, "can i come in?" he says in a low voice and licks his lips, wetting them. your eyes quickly glance at the movement before looking back up at his almond eyes. you move to the side for him to come in and shut the door behind him. you don't think something's wrong, at least it doesn't look like something's wrong by the way he's looking at you and his posture. he's looking at you for a second before pacing around the room, you don't press him on anything you just stand where you are and wait for whatever he needs. he stops his pacing and turns back to you, the intense look in his eye almost makes you want to squirm out of embarrassment for being seen that much. "i need to tell you something."

"okay," you respond, prolonging the end of the word. you're confused.

"we're soulmate!" hanta almost shouts at you. with knitted eyebrows and a bewildered expression you repeat okay. "w-w-what do you mean okay?" didn't you just hear me?" hanta's in disbelief and he scans your face.

"i mean... i heard you but i don't know why you're telling me something we both know." you don't even have time to feel anything other than puzzled. this situation should be making you feel heavyhearted or heartbroken but instead it's just filled with questions of 'why is he bringing this up? we already know this.'

hanta splutters, "why are you acting like you already know this?"

your mind goes blank.

"what?" you whisper, your mouth is dry and your limbs feel heavy. ''why is he acting like this? he doesn't seem drunk or high. is he being controlled by someone? there's no way he'd be this cruel.' you open your mouth breathing softly and you're finding it hard to keep your breathing steady. "why are you being like this hanta? it's cruel." your voice is even quieter than it was.

hanta's eyes soften as he sees you and goes to reach out to you before stopping himself. "i'm not trying to be cruel, i'm just trying to understand what you're saying. i've just found out you're my soulmate and i needed you to know... but... but you're acting... you're saying that you already know. i don't understand why you've kept it a secret."

you blink slowly, trying to process everything hanta's just told you. "what do you mean that you just found out? i haven't kept anything a secret. i knew from the very beginning we met. you tripped over my bag and praised me after a practical lesson. did you really forget?"

soulmate hanta's eyes widen. "forget?! i didn't even know. you really think i'd forget the woman i've been in love with since i saw her is my soulmate."

you have questions but all you can focus on is, "you love me?" you ask- softly. shyly.

hanta goes bright red. "w-well yeah, of course i do." you giggle and he smiles affectionately at you, he loves hearing you laugh especially when he's the one getting you to do it.

"i love you too," you let him know sweetly.

hanta grins, "really?"

you hum and nod your head. "did you really not know?" hanta shakes his head. "how did you find out in the end though?"

hanta rubs the back of his neck and appears guilty as he responds, "oh, that... well, it was bakugou. he saw my mark and knew it was your writing."

you pout at him, "god, you didn't even realise yourself." hanta chuckles nervously. "what am i going to do with you hey? my oblivious soulmate." you wrap your arms around him and hug him, your face on his chest, gazing up to make eye contact.

soulmate hanta grins when he hears you call him your soulmate and reciprocates the hug, holding onto you and squeezing lightly for a second. "i can't imagine what it must of felt like for you, i'm sorry. all those wasted years we could of had together if only i connected the dots better. i promise i'll make it up to you."

there's plenty of time to talk about your feelings, to express to him how you felt rejected. there's your whole life for that but right now there's something better. "oh, how are you going to make it up to me?" you say teasingly and smirk.

hanta chuckles loudly and grins, "what do you have in mind?" one of his hands that was holding you sneaks in under your top. neither of you have ever done this before but soulmates are made for each other, you'll know each other's body better than you know your own because, at the end of the day, you're meant to be.

[beef-brisket]

((Completely random, but I like to think King Adam is a sex icon lol

Like, he does photoshoots all the time))

Adam: you have to be patient with Alastor.

Lucifer looked offended: Patient?! Oh no, not you too. First Charlie and noe my husband. What does this man have that I don't!?

Adam: Antlers for one. But I'm serious. He's an interesting soul, and needs time with these things. I really think those two will be good for eachother.

Adam smiles as he watched Alastor walk over to Patrick and gently take his hand.

Lucifer sighs: Why can't our kids date normal people?

Adam: In a realm of sinners? It won't happen. And, if you think about it, if Charlie decides she doesn't want to be queen, the future rulers could be Angel or Alastor.

Lucifer crigned: Well, we've already got one sex addict on the throne. Might as well have a cannibal serial killer at some point.

Adam: ...am I the sex addict?

Lucifer Yes, my darling~.

Adam smiled and kissed him: That makes you a desperate whore~. So, I think Hell would be fine in their hands.

Lucifer: Not like it could get much worse. It is Hell.

Adam: It's still our home, and I think we've done pretty well.

After a few seconds of silence, Adam looks down at his husband, who was staring lovingly up at him.

Adam smiles: What?

Lucifer: Just thinking about you~.

Adam: Don't think too much, or you'll get hard.

Lucifer laughed: I'm thinking about when we first met and what you were like.

Adam rolled his eyes: Even after 10,000 years you won't let me forget.

Lucifer was about to respond when there was a loud knock at the lobby door. As the royals made their way down, Lucifer could hear Charlie talking to someone.

Charlie: I'm so glad you want to join the hotel!

Sinner: Uh- yeah. I think it's time for a change, you know?

Charlie: Oh, of course! Could you tell me your name, who I can put it in the books?

Lucifer walked to the edge of the stairs: Abel?

Charlie and Abel looked to Lucifer.

Abel: Oh, hey, short stuff. Didn't know you were going for redemption to.

Obsessed with Bimbo!Adam in Eden

XxX

Adam awoke to feeling how he always felt. Turned on and in need. He whimpered, feeling his nether regions burn with desire and how he curled into a ball.

Where was Luci? His angel? He wanted relief so badly.

Unfortunately, he knew he might not get it today. Lilith would never touch him, unless she wanted to tie him down and tease him until he was crying for relief before leaving him to suffer, and Lucifer had duties as an angel. He didn't quite understand what Lucifer did but it made him super busy.

Adam whimpered again and he hugged himself.

Adam: Luci! Need you!

He was drooling and shaking with need.

Fortunately, he heard the sound of wings.

Lucifer: Oh...my poor dumb bunny. Do you need some relief again?

Adam: Please!

@beef-brisket

Lucifer: And so polite! At least you know your manners.~

Lucifer removed his robes and knelt between Adams legs, his pretty bunny looked up at him imploreably.

Adam got so excited when his angel touched him and got him ready to get some relief at long last.

Lucifer placed Adams legs on his shoulders before giving him what he knew he needed. Adams wanton moans echoed and bounced off the cave walls.

Lucifer: So pretty, so perfect, not a single thought in that head of yours.

Adam: Ooh Luci!!~

He loved his angel so much, he was always so good to him by giving him relief.

[jakef3ver]

Nishimura Riki | NDA

☁︎︎ Idol!riki x fan!reader | fem!reader

↯ fluff, crack maybe suggestive a little more into the fic, use of social media (instagram, twt), reader is just a regular girl going to school and stuff

⚠︎︎ will contain mentions of alcohol consume later

-Love at first sight?-

“I swear to god Alija“

”Imagine you just want to work in peace and suddenly out of nowhere Jake and Ni-ki from fucking enhypen walk in and order a coffee from you” you say before taking another bite from the pizza Alija made for the both of you.

Alija giggles, “I would’ve freaked out honestly” she says.

“I DID freak out and you know it, but I had to keep it together somehow, you know”

“nah that’s true” she says between chewing her last bite.

“Like, I knew they’d be here in this area because of the concert” you start.

“but I would’ve never imagined that they come to our fucking workplace for coffee” you finish dramatically and slap your hands on your face.

“and the worst thing is” you exclaim and stand up abruptly “rikis hand touched mine”

“WHILE HE SMILED AT ME ALIJA”

Alija bursts out into laughter.

“I swear I fell in love even more” you sigh.

“I bet he’ll recognize you at the concert” she says as the supportive-equally-delusional best friend she is.

“He absolutely won’t” you answer

“Hyung do you remember the girl from the cafe this morning?” Ni-ki asks Jake, as they sit in Jakes hotel room and scroll through their phones.

Jake looks up from his phone and smirks.

“Yes of course”

Riki also looks up from his phone and sighs.

“I can't get her out of my head” he says and runs his free hand through his hair.

“I really wanna see her again, do you think she'll be at the concert?” he asks.

“I don't know, could be possible, she seemed a little nervous when we ordered” Jake chuckles.

“Can we go back tomorrow before the rehearsals?” Riki asks and looks at Jake, hoping he'll go back with him.

“yea I think that should fit” Jake answers him, still smirking.

“Why do you look at me like that?” Riki asks jokingly offended and throws his hands in the air.

Then suddenly he hears his phone go off.



After looking at his phone, Riki looks up to Jake who’s now holding in a laugh.

“I am really not” he whines “I- I just think she’s pretty you know”

Jake shakes his head and starts typing again.

After sending his last message, he walks over to Jake and jokingly threatens to kick him “I genuinely hate you” he says and lets himself fall onto the hotel bed.

“oh come on, there’s nothing bad about this”

Jake declares “Just give her your number tomorrow if you're so down bad already” he continues and shrugs his shoulders.

“No I cannot do that, what if it gets leaked or some shit like that” Riki groans while staring at the ceiling.

“True” Jake starts to speak while sitting down beside him, “but honestly, I guess it's a take it or it's probably gone forever kind of situation” he finishes his sentence.

“But isn't that problematic? What if she's a fan for real? Isn't that even-” Riki replies but get's cut off by Jake “fuck this problematic whatever stuff” he calls out “Nda's exist you know” he adds.

Riki hums.

“Just try and see where it goes, huh” he begins again. “Not everything has to ‘end’ negatively”

Riki nods and sits up. “I guess, yea” he answers while standing up.

“Then tomorrow 11 AM down in the lobby?” he asks before turning to leave the room.

“Sure, see you” he answers “and think about it” Jake exclaims before Riki leaves the hotel room, to go into his own.

His thoughts now running wild.

Should I do it and take the risk?

Would she even be interested?

What if it works out?

What if I'm in love for real?

Wait, does love at first sight exist?

He shakes his head, and rummages through his suitcase searching for the pajamas he packed, before changing and getting ready for bed.

But, he couldn't really sleep.

He turns from the left side, to the right side.

From his back to his stomach.

And again, from left to right.

From back to stomach.

But he couldn't get her out of his head.

masterlist | previous | next

tags: @chaevibes @yangjungwonnie @minskzy @d-dilemma @microwvdstrawb3rri3s @ssiiwave @deadpool15

[crabs-with-sticks]

Trick Q+A on the solavellan ending

Haven't seen this going around much, I'm guessing because it was originally posted when everybody had their veilguard spoiler defenses up. But I did find it interesting.

Trick is answering some questions over on Bluesky and here are the questions and answers decoded from the rot13 cipher. Hopefully this provides more clarity and eases people's anxieties here and we can move forward in a more positive light with discussions: Q: Will where Solas and Inky end up in the Fade be strictly regret-themed or will her joining and their love influence it into something a bit less bleak (hence the specific elven phrasing)? rooting for my girl not to be in fade jail A: She's speaking both romantically and literally. It won't be terrible if they're in there together. Q: In the Solavellan ending, it says that Solas is Lavellan's true love. I know you've said she represents his future, but do you think she's his true love also? A: Yes. We framed it the way we did because the Inquisitor was your character last game, and because some people, we imagined, were doing this to give the Inquisitor the happy ever after she deserved, not Solas. Q: Did solas just Fade-mail it to her and it appeared? A: Inky and Morrigan have their ways. Q: Could you please tell us, if it is possible, why it was only Mythal's words that allowed Solas to stop this train of endless regrets from rolling into the abyss? I'm sorry, but it seemed too easy to me after so many centuries. Perhaps I don't understand the core of their relationship. A: That's what he needed to hear. Not because he loved Mythal more, but because she was the reason everything went wrong. She, the past, tells him to let go of all the mistakes of the past. And then the Inquisitor he wanted to be with is there to show him a better future. Q: Does Solas love Lavellan as much as he loves Mythal? I know Mythal is kinda all things to him- leader, oldest friend, maybe lover, and that's hard to overcome. On the other hand, his love for Lavellan seems less all-consuming, but purer. Anyway, love to hear your thoughts! A: Mythal is his past, where he made terrible mistakes. A romanced Lavellan is a bright future he doesn't think he deserves until he fixes all of those past mistakes. Q: When Solas tells Lavellan that the place he is going is terrible, where exactly sre they going? Back to the regret prison or somewhere else? A: The implication is that he's going back to the prison, and now that he'll be working to try to heal the blight while he's there.

Source (its to a reddit thread not the actual original quotes, and I'm going to trust that they did their due diligence because I don't have the energy to do it myself lol)

[demon-country]

#wiggles hands #i personally think that stolas had it wrong because even before blitzø started yelling #stolas thought blitzø didnt feel the same and immediately ditched as opposed to like?? giving him a fucking minute to process?? not cool??? #like yes the trauma response about being yelled at and setting boundaries and all that. thats fine #but Why stolas did you Immediately leave it wasnt even a rejection he just didnt Understand #give him a Fucking SECOND!!?? #which is smth blitzø also yells abt in full moon iirc! bc like DUH!!??? #and there IS power imbalance in the way stolas just tosses blitzø outside via teleportation. #it DOES imply he thinks little of blitzø In That Moment bc hes 'seeing his abuser' #but like... he would not teleport stella outside like that. even when he asserted his boundaries w her he NEVER did that shit #it WAS disrespectful to blitzø. it was. and the immediate dismissiveness the next morning obv didnt fuckin help #cuz blitzø immediately went on the defensive and like yeah he said horrible shit but FUCK DUDE he didnt instigate it! #like yeah stolas doesnt have to sit there and take it EXCEPT HES THE ONE WHO FUCKING INITIATED THE ISSUE? SO YES HE KIND OF DOES HAVE TO#HEAR BLITZØ OUT AND SIT THERE?? #puts my head in my hands. #and all the ppl talking abt ou well its stolas' house so he gets to portal blitzø out! #you are a fucking dick? you cant spring a huge relationship change on somebody and then run off and act the hurt party when they havent even #processed it yet! and then KICK THEM OUT when they understandably get ANGRY at you dismissing them? and HELLO. STOLAS DISMISSES BLITZØ.#HES NOT ONE OF YOUR SERVANT IMPS DUDE! HELLOOOO?????? #idk idk idk like stolas was definitely going through it but HOLY SHIT you guys cant be serious when you say it was equal on both sides #when theres a very obvious clear systemic power imbalance. like youre FUCKING WITH ME?? you cant be serious rn.

Wow. This... sure is a lot of extremely bad faith misinterpretations of those scenes. I'm going to address all of this step by step, I guess, because my dude, you are wildly off the mark on basically everything you accused Stolas of. So I hope you're ready, because this reply is going to be very long.

"#i personally think that stolas had it wrong because even before blitzø started yelling #stolas thought blitzø didnt feel the same and immediately ditched as opposed to like?? giving him a fucking minute to process?? not cool??? #like yes the trauma response about being yelled at and setting boundaries and all that. thats fine #but Why stolas did you Immediately leave it wasnt even a rejection he just didnt Understand #give him a Fucking SECOND!!?? #which is smth blitzø also yells abt in full moon iirc! bc like DUH!!???"

Yeah no, Stolas had every right to walk away, and was 100% justified in doing so. Maybe it wasn't entirely fair to Blitz, because on his end of things it looked totally different, but you already seem to understand what it looked like from Blitz's pov, so since we're talking about whether they equally fucked up or not, then I want you to step back from that and think about how it looked to Stolas, too.

Blitz did not respond to Stolas' confession with "hold the fuck on" or "what the fuck?" or "what do you mean?", nor did he do literally anything at all to suggest that he was confused or needed a moment to process what Stolas was saying. Blitz's immediate, snap reaction was to go "ohhh, okay you're fucking with me! This is an interesting roleplay, never done this one before but I can get into it. 'Ohhh, Stolas, I'll stay with you~! I love you sooo much~!'"

Perhaps you've never experienced this, but let me assure you that it is soul-crushingly awful to confess something important to you to someone you trust, only for them to completely write it off as a joke and/or make fun of you for it. It's extremely humiliating and feels like a deep betrayal, because you trusted them and were vulnerable with them, and in return all you got was mockery.

I've asked a number of real life actual people who have all, without fail, said that if that happened to them they'd end the conversation right there and walk away. Most of them, including me, said they'd leave just so they could go cry in private, and one said that they'd basically say "fuck you" and leave because they were pissed off. Stolas was the former. Take a moment to really, genuinely think about what your own reaction would be to having someone you love and trust make fun of you after you confess something important and vulnerable. It doesn't have to be a love confession, mine certainly wasn't, but do you honestly think you'd want to stick around after that?

So Stolas would have been justified in walking away just from that. He was very kind as he took his leave too and tried to bow out as gracefully as he could without causing a fuss, which is made all the more impressive because Blitz unintentionally triggered Stolas' trauma with the roleplay bit. Stolas has lived with Stella for 18 years at this point in the timeline, and part of how she abused him was humiliating him and mocking his feelings. He hides it decently well with Stella, because he's had decades of practice at this point, but we see in Ozzie's that being humiliated, especially in public, is a trauma landmine that Blitz tripped right onto. Yeah, he's going to leave, and it's not a fault that he does.

Moreover, you'll notice that Stolas doesn't kick Blitz out here or tell him to leave. He walks away further into the house, and yes he's probably expecting that Blitz will take it as an opportunity to bounce, but he does not tell him to go. Blitz could have waited as he took the moment he needed and thought things over, and then talked and asked whatever questions he needed to after Stolas came back. It was his bedroom and it was midnight, it's not like Stolas wasn't going to come back within the next couple of hours. Or Blitz could have left, thought things over, and come back. Instead, he followed after Stolas, which wasn't a great feeling for either of them, because Stolas was only barely staving off a breakdown and Blitz was getting hit in that abandonment trauma all over again, but Stolas walking off scared him so he acted on the impulse to not let Stolas get away. 

And he started off fine! Even though he was basically chasing Stolas, he wasn't angry or anything. He asked "wait, you were serious?! Hold on now, Stolas. What the fuck?" and Stolas did his best to answer even as he kept walking, rather than telling him to go away or kicking him out. His answer was poorly worded though and it set Blitz off, which is when we get to your next point.

#and there IS power imbalance in the way stolas just tosses blitzø outside via teleportation. #it DOES imply he thinks little of blitzø In That Moment bc hes 'seeing his abuser' #but like... he would not teleport stella outside like that. even when he asserted his boundaries w her he NEVER did that shit #it WAS disrespectful to blitzø. it was.

???? How on earth did you reach this conclusion?? Of course Stolas would never teleport Stella outside like that. That's not respect, that's fear. It took everything he had to stand up to Stella the way he did, which we know because he collapsed as soon as she was gone. He was terrified of her; he was backing away while she approached and knew she was about to hit him. He was fighting back, yes, but you can tell from her reaction that he almost never has in the past. It had nothing to do with respecting her, because his normal response seems to be either standing there silently taking the abuse or shrinking in on himself while trying to placate her.

As for what happened in the ballroom, Stolas was triggered for the second time in just a handful of minutes, this time by Blitz slamming open the door and yelling. It says absolutely nothing about how much Stolas does or does not respect him that these actions triggered a trauma response in Stolas. Trauma doesn't work like that. Anyone doing that to Stolas would have made him panic, because when you're experiencing a traumatic reaction, even if you're somewhere safe with someone you implicitly trust, your brain freaks the fuck out.

It was in no way disrespectful to kick Blitz out, it was just Stolas going into extreme Flight mode. Blitz wasn't letting him leave and at the end even ran towards him (to apologize, but Stolas had no way of knowing that and Blitz was already half out the portal before he started to say sorry and didn't even finish it. Also, you hear Stolas very faintly saying he's sorry before the portal closes), of course he's going to force Blitz out! He didn't want a fight with Blitz like he had with Stella, because he wasn't angry, he just wanted to be alone.

"and the immediate dismissiveness the next morning obv didnt fuckin help #cuz blitzø immediately went on the defensive and like yeah he said horrible shit but FUCK DUDE he didnt instigate it! #like yeah stolas doesnt have to sit there and take it EXCEPT HES THE ONE WHO FUCKING INITIATED THE ISSUE? SO YES HE KIND OF DOES HAVE TO#HEAR BLITZØ OUT AND SIT THERE??"

No, he really, really does not have to sit there and hear Blitz out. Stolas made it very clear in actual words that he did not want to see Blitz right then, because he was feeling too raw so soon after everything and Blitz was not giving him any space to breathe. And Blitz, once again, did not leave. He also, you'll notice, didn't force Blitz to leave, he just asked him to go, because this time he wasn't outright panicking. And even then, he kept giving Blitz chances to talk things out with him, showing that he wasn't dismissing Blitz.

Also, you're really telling me that you think a victim of domestic violence should be forced to stick around when someone is yelling at them? It doesn't matter if he "initiated things", that doesn't mean he's going to okay when someone starts grabbing and yelling at him. If Blitz was being calmer about it, and wasn't continually intentionally mocking Stolas and his feelings throughout that conversation (which, again, big trigger for Stolas, he's just hiding it better now because he was braced for it. Note that he's reacting a lot like he did when Stella was mocking him at the party) then I might agree with you. If Stolas had actually instigated the garden scene by telling Blitz to come over and then refused to listen while Blitz tried to explain, that'd be super fucked up. But Stolas didn't ask Blitz to come over, explicitly told him to leave because it hurt to much to talk to him right then, and Blitz was not being calm. Blitz was self-destructing and was being both clingy and aggressive, because he was scared of losing Stolas but was even more terrified of being vulnerable, and he habitually masks his fear with anger.

"#puts my head in my hands. #and all the ppl talking abt ou well its stolas' house so he gets to portal blitzø out! #you are a fucking dick? you cant spring a huge relationship change on somebody and then run off and act the hurt party when they havent even #processed it yet! and then KICK THEM OUT when they understandably get ANGRY at you dismissing them? and HELLO. STOLAS DISMISSES BLITZØ."

Buddy. Dude. Stolas didn't actually spring this on Blitz. Blitz literally says at the beginning of the episode that he's been avoiding Stolas because he knows Stolas wants to talk, and he doesn't want things to become complicated. He knows things will change as soon as he actually talks to Stolas and that freaks him out, because in his mind it can't possibly be something good, and this fear is exacerbated by what Loona told him. He literally tells Fizz that Stolas does things to show he likes him, and multiple people have flat out told Blitz that he does, and Blitz can't believe that for multiple reasons, but this entire thing has been building up for months and he knows it. 

Stolas also did not spring his "feelings bullshit" on Blitz either, despite what Blitz claimed. It might have felt like it, because up until then he was in complete denial of those feelings being genuine, but Stolas has not been subtle, by any means. He has, in his and everyone else's minds, been showing Blitz that he cares about him at the very least as a friend, since this whole thing started. Even in fucking Loo Loo Land, despite him awkwardly trying to flirt with Blitz a couple of times, he doesn't actually try to start anything while they're there. He doesn't even seem to expect something sexual to happen between them at all, because he says he wants Blitz and his employees to come and immediately offers to pay Blitz with money, rather than sexual favors like Blitz anticipated. He's using it as an excuse to hang out with Blitz - because he's an idiot who didn't think about how uncomfortable it'd be for literally everyone involved, especially Octavia - and Blitz even knows that because he knows Stolas doesn't actually need one bodyguard, let alone three.

He invited all of them to the harvest moon festival because he thought it'd be fun, again with no expectation of anything sexy happening. He came to rescue I.M.P. with no ulterior motive, he just wanted to help them. He didn't ask for or suggest that he wanted sex in return for the save either, he just asked for a thank you in a very pouty voice because none of them thanked him, and Blitz turned things sexual, which he was happy to follow the lead on. He was super excited for the date, dressed up super fancy, proudly walked into Ozzie's holding Blitz's hand, tried over and over to talk to Blitz because he thought it was a real date, stood up to defend Blitz from Verosika (which Blitz didn't see and which he didn't get to follow through on, because Ozzie took that chance to go on the attack and publicly humiliate him), and even after that disaster he still invited Blitz in solely to hang out and maybe cuddle a bit.

He would ask Blitz to stay the night after they were done having sex instead of just kicking him out, which we see in the memory fragments. He called Blitz on the regular just to talk about his day and was frequently interacting with him on social media, both for approximately a year and a half. He was oblivious to how condescending his attempts at flirting were and had no idea how demeaning it was for Blitz until Blitz finally showed him how much all that hurt him (after Ozzie's), but he only was acting like that and talking that way because he genuinely believed that it was what Blitz wanted and was into, based on their first night together (doesn't excuse it, of course, but it was another way he was desperately trying to show how much he wanted Blitz).

For close to two years by the time The Full Moon rolled around, Stolas has been trying very hard and kind of ineptly to show Blitz he likes him, and at the very least wants to be real friends with him (that also have sex). Literally everyone who has seen them together knows how much Stolas likes Blitz, including Blitz despite him being in denial of it. He has tried again and again and again for nearly two years to show Blitz he cares about him and wants him around, and Blitz - for understandable reasons given his own trauma, history, biases, and hangups - has rejected him time and again. That's why Stolas was expecting Blitz to reject him following his confession. He expected Blitz to tell him to fuck off or to just take the crystal and run without looking back, but he didn't expect to be (unintentionally) mocked. He didn't expect Blitz, who he trusted, to humiliate him. Even without the trauma he has surrounding that, after all the other rejections of course Stolas is going to take Blitz mocking him as another rejection. He didn't think Blitz was confused, because he thinks he's made his feelings pretty damn clear for ages now, and that's why he said he had his answer and was trying to leave before he started crying - which most people hate to do, because crying in front of other people is often a mortifying experience.

"STOLAS DISMISSES BLITZØ.#HES NOT ONE OF YOUR SERVANT IMPS DUDE! HELLOOOO?????? #idk idk idk like stolas was definitely going through it but HOLY SHIT you guys cant be serious when you say it was equal on both sides #when theres a very obvious clear systemic power imbalance. like youre FUCKING WITH ME?? you cant be serious rn"

He wasn't dismissing Blitz. He super fucking did not. He wanted to be alone so he could go cry his guts out, and Blitz was scaring him by getting angry and slamming open doors. That's not dismissing someone, that's going into panic mode. He wasn't treating him like a servant, if he was he would have been bored and unaffected and told him to go. He. Was. Scared. He was hurt and humiliated and scared and Blitz was chasing him down and yelling at him. It's not playing the victim to be scared and it's not playing the victim when your feelings get mocked and you want to get away from the person who just stomped all over your heart.

Blitz's reactions make sense from his end, and absolutely he was being triggered too - he was in fact the one triggered first, though that too was by accident. Yes, his anger was justified and he had every right to express it when he felt he wasn't being listened to. Yes, he wasn't intending to scare Stolas. Yes, Stolas has messed up and hurt Blitz in numerous ways over the course of the series. But my god, that does not mean that Stolas' feelings and reactions are any less justified and reasonable.

It was equal on both sides. They both equally fucked up. They both accidentally hurt and triggered each other. They both were scared. Stolas sending Blitz away was the only thing he could think of to de-escalate the situation, because Blitz was actively trying to pick a fight and Stolas had no idea that Blitz would stop just because he started crying (you think anyone else has ever stopped just because he cried? We literally see both Stella and Paimon mock him for it, and Stolas isn't exactly in a rational sort of mindset here).

Are you really, honestly, truly telling me that you would be fine just standing there and letting someone who just hurt you scream at you in a way that reminded you of both your domestic abuser and the person who recently tried to murder and mutilate you? Are you kidding me? You have completely misinterpreted everything Stolas has said and done in those two episodes by refusing to look at it with any amount of sympathy or compassion and immediately jumping to the worst possible scenario.

"Stolas shouldn't have portalled out Blitz during Full Moon" this and "Stolas should have stuck around and listened to Blitz in the garden during Apology Tour" that. Do y'all not realize how it sounds to demand that a domestic abuse victim stick around when someone is yelling at and insulting them? And on the flip side of that, do the other half of y'all not realize how it sounds to demand that someone, particularly someone from an oppressed group, never get loud or demonstrably angry just because it might scare someone?

Like Blitz had every right to air his grievances in Full Moon, and being angry when you're treated poorly is a perfectly normal, reasonable response. It's not inherently abusive to yell and stomp when you get mad, and it's completely unreasonable to say that Blitz is just because he did. But at the same time, Stolas does not have to sit there and take being yelled at when he's already had to suffer though someone doing it to him maliciously for at least 17 years. He does not have to take being grabbed, being screamed at, or having his clearly stated boundaries ignored either, like at the beginning of Apology Tour. Him getting upset when someone does that to him, when he's only just gotten away from his abuser and was almost murdered for it, is not some failing on his part or him playing the victim.

Blitz's trauma doesn't care that Stolas wasn't actually going to abandon Blitz, and it doesn't care that that the hurtful things Stolas has said and done have come largely from a place of ignorance rather than a lack of care. He's protecting himself the only way he knows how and is blinded by the sheer intensity and longevity of his self-loathing, but frankly it was a good thing for him to finally speak up about how some of the things Stolas does makes him feel, and it's a very good thing that he's actually trying to fight to keep Stolas rather than just booking it and throwing a grenade behind him on the way out.

Just like Stolas' trauma doesn't care if he knows Blitz is different than Stella and wouldn't actually hurt him, and it doesn't care that Blitz's anger comes from a hurt, scared, and traumatized place as opposed to the pleasure Stella took in hurting and scaring him. Stolas hasn't had any time to even begin to heal from the damage she did to him, and frankly if he's scared and breaking down like in Full Moon it's actually a step up if he's removing himself from whoever is triggering him, even if it wasn't fair to Blitz who was, in his own way, attempting to work things out.

Neither of them is the bad guy here, they're just very reasonably upset and having clashing trauma responses. You can be compassionate and understanding of both sides without saying that either of them should have to just sit there and take it when someone is greatly upsetting them. It's normal to get angry when you're scared and upset, and it's normal to cry and run away when you're scared and upset, and neither are wrong or bad just because in the moment when emotions were running high they each did several things that accidently set the other off, especially when they had no way of knowing it was a trigger beforehand.

None of this is say that the way things shook out was great or productive, and they definitely need to work on healing so that they're not letting their fear and trauma control them. If they're going to get to place of real understanding, then at some point these two need to sit down with the intent to talk things out and have an honest and open conversation with each other, without Blitz yelling or Stolas running or either of them letting their preconceived assumptions and biases get in the way of actually listening. Blitz needs to not self-sabotage and Stolas needs to not shut down, and that's going to be really fucking hard for both of them, because that's how they've been coping with their trauma for literal decades.

And to his major credit, Blitz got it right at the end of Apology Tour, the only thing he got wrong was the timing because Stolas was so drunk that I'll be honestly surprised if he remembers most of it in the morning. He wasn't in any state of mind to listen or pay attention, but at the same time, to his credit he's already been reflecting on what Blitz has been saying to him and trying to figure out where and how he fucked up and hurt Blitz. And also, he kept saying things like "right now", which means he will be ready to talk things out eventually if he's just given a little bit of space to put himself back together and think about things.

And guys, please. Just because some people will start crying to try to manipulate and guilt trip those around them whenever someone gets upset at something they did, doesn't make that what Stolas did. He was trying to get away so Blitz wouldn't see him cry. And just because some people like to fly off the handle and rage at every perceived infraction, doesn't make that what Blitz did. He had justifiable cause to be angry and in Full Moon he didn't think Stolas was listening, so he tried to make himself louder and bigger in an attempt to make himself be heard and his hurt be acknowledged. If one of their reactions made you uncomfortable, that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that. But the story isn't about those kinds of people, it's about two fictional demons who aren't trying to hurt or manipulate each other, they're just struggling to juggle trauma, ignorance, and the desire to be together. They're not able to yet, but that's what character arcs are for.

And just to head off any comments on it: no, the narrative is not villifying Blitz and it's not babying Stolas or trying to sweep any of the shit he's done under the rug. Blitz being angry and self-destructive doesn't make him a villain, and Stolas crying a few times and still being pretty ignorant of how he's come across doesn't mean they're trying to say he's done nothing wrong.

[bidisasterevankinard]

I respect the results on the poll I've seen, but I'm still think it's Tommy who should reach Buck first. And i kinda think that's why Eddie and Hen were taking Buck's phone and they showed us Tommy's bubble. Tommy will reach Buck first if he would be back

First, because Buck was fighting for them in 7s, not letting Tommy get away from him after bad date and breaking his closet FOR TOMMY. If he wasn't sure, wasn't already so deep he wouldn't do it, he would keep himself closed longer till he's ready. But he did. Bc Tommy was more important

Second, Buck twice told Tommy he wants future with him, when Tommy was firstly, just interested. But interested in what? By his 8x6 I'm, and i think Buck, make a explanation that he always saw himself and BUCK as placeholders till they will break up and go look for their last . Buck didn't hear that Tommy loves him. Ne never heard Tommy saying he wanted future with him. No, Tommy even a little cruelly broke Buck's dreams about it too

And i kinda hope we will see Tommy chosing to chase Buck, not because Buck gave him chance first, to come and talk and ask about another chance for them

And it can be actually really beautiful made in kidnapper arc as B or C plot. Maddie's kidnapped. Tommy hears about it and comes to help. He's paired with Chim. They talk about Maddie and Tommy says he is jealous about their love. He hopes to find smt like that. And Chim says how much they fought for it. How Maddie run, he chased, then they decided it's better to be friends, but then Maddie came to him with promise to never run again. And Tommy sees himself in Maddie bc even tho she kissed Chim first, and she asked him on a date first, she was the one running. He kissed Buck only when he was actually sure it's smt that can happen, and even his 8x5 rn can be interpreted as him just being here not bc Buck is a little injured but bc Tommy wants to have more fun time, especially with how he was making fun of Buck with curse. Rn Buck can interpret that Tommy was coming for him bc a) that's what Tommy does for everyone (you know like flying inro hurricane) and b) bc Buck was "just to have good time" for Tommy nothing serious. Especially because Tommy never actually chased him first. HE ASKED EDDIE FOR AT LEAST KARAOKE, but he couldn't do the same with Buck after tour? Not just "hey, here's some variants that actually sound just like me trying to be not rude. nothing more. Don't aks about it"

So yeah, rn Buck maybe wants to call Tommy but he's scared he might be broke even worse. And Tommy should be at least once but first to do smt to make their relationship work in BAD TIMES. And then Buck can be here for him for everything he needs. Help with smt, move really slow etc in other episodes of 8b where they will patch their relationship on second go

But first step should be done by Tommy

[numberonetribble]

Some Continuation Errors and Other Hmmmm's I spotted in TF One! (this is for funsies!)

- When Orion broadcasts the news to Iacon we hear Sentinel say, "I'm working my miners as hard as I can, I swear I will get you the rest!" Revisiting the scene, he doesn't say this!

Instead the closest we get is; "I know what I promised you, but our mines, they're running out! There's barely enough Energon for us! I swear I will get you the rest!"

Which the miner line is super raw, I really like it, but why would they cut it? Maybe it's to convey to the audience that things are even bleaker ON TOP of the Quintessants being there? It's an interesting choice to keep both lines in!

- Staying in this scene, Orion plays the "I took his cog for myself." line. He was not there for that. Unless he'd digging around in her memories and this is first and foremost in her brain, he wouldn't know to look for it. Which also, it took me several rewatches for me to figure out WHY he thought she was the key. Thing is, other than that first line, he plays lines that he personally witnessed, Orion did not need her memories for this plan to work. Maybe one could argue he wanted hers as his would be considered bias to the public and Sentinel's Right Hand's are undeniable. But the citizens don't see that.

- During the race we see Elita moving crates around as if she's at work. Sentinel said that there would be NO work for all shifts. Yes she's a workaholic. However, she's not alone. There's at least two other bots working with her. Maybe they're also workaholics? Maybe their supervisor told them no you still have to work?

My only guess, it's the next day and they're trying to get those trains loaded as Sentinel has a delivery scheduled. However, these trains should've been prepped and ready to go WAY before this. It's too important to leave last minute. At MOST D-16 and Orion are in the infirmary for a day. They're un-cogged and barely injured, during triage they would've been put last to attend to. So at best, Sentinel is back for 2 days before leaving again. Not nearly enough time to load that many trains.

- When we meet B-127 he says that the new Shift Manager doesn't like distractions. We the audience know he's referencing Elita. She's been there for maybe 2 days. (This isn't really a Continuation Error more like, really interesting? It implies that the timeline was different in an earlier draft as that's very fast for her to establish herself to this division especially during a national holiday. Sure she's the kind of person who would but, you know, this is for funsies)

- The opening narration tells us the audience that the Matrix is needed for Energon to flow. Orion knows this, the citizens know this. Sentinel sees it as an object that can be taken and dismissed the lore of how it works. But why make this recording?? Maybe it was for new Sparklings to watch on their first day alive, but it's in the Archives now. Orion hadn't seen it before, meaning it got phased out. Why not destroy it?

Orion is so insistent that there might be data to help Sentinel, but he never stops to think that Sentinel already knows everything in that Archive.

These are just some thoughts I've been chewing on! I've been watching it everyday after work and these are what stick out to me the most. It's still a really good movie and I love it alot I just want to talk about this stuff 👉👈

[mysteryanimator]

Breaking down Castlevania Nocturne Season 01 - Episode 04 "Bedroom scene" (almost) shot by shot!

Breaking down episode 06 / Breaking down episode 08

(Word count 6.3k I am so sorry HAHAHA)

I was heavily considering not going through episode 04 mostly due to being in the public eye but I like talking about shows I enjoy, regardless if my writing is shitty or not. By the way, the title says almost go through this shot by shot only because there's a 30-image limit. This scene is LONG so I can't catch everything but I can catch most.

By the way, before we start, a massive huge thank you to the Nocturne people, i don't think they'd read this, but if they do, all the scenes are really well crafted and interweave soooo nicely to their next point of interaction. I would love to know everyone who worked on this section, but if not I do hope they hear my utmost thanks and applause from all the way from Australia.

(Actually, just everyone who worked on Nocturne take a standing ovation from me lol, the show actually changed my life lmao, but I digress)

To introduce people who may be reading my analyses for the first time:

I implore you to rewatch Nocturne after reading this and make your own thoughts because while this is an analysis, it also comes through my own lens. These are just my thoughts and by no means end-all-be-all!

These are just observations based on my special interest and study in the field of in media production and analysis (i haven't been in that field for a while but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things HAHAHA)! Despite all of that, this is for fun, which is why I will be writing a lot more casually, so please don't take this too seriously! This not only helps me out as a student to become aware of how stories are put together and, in turn, how to apply them and make my own, but it also allows me to impart that excitement to you! Shot choices matter, especially when you have only 8 episodes, a deadline, a budget, asset restrictions, and so on. It all has to count. Everything matters.

Passionate creatives care and there is more than "the curtain is blue just because." The times when things slip under the radar and are put there just because are mostly due to executive meddling, budget restrictions, and deadlines.

With that said, this is actually a lot more thicker than previous breakdowns, WHOOPS. So please feel free to read this in chunks, and I will warn you that my grammar is not the best so you might have to bear with me here! As a warning, I will be using the words like sex, genitalia, etc. I only mention the actual acts of sex when presented as a joke.

--

Why am I putting in this last close shot of Tera? It is important because the whole scene beforehand has us mentally prepared for a fight or something a lot more action-like. The walls behind Tera and Olrox's room are REALLY similar, therefore once we see this inn room, we make a split-second assumption we're jumping forward in time with the protagonist. A picture says a thousand words.

Right up until the Olrox and Mizrak scene, our protagonist and antagonists both have very distinct places of associations and visuals, which often give the audience clues about their roles. They're established immediately from episode 01 and don't divert that line, that is until inn room. You can argue the line waivers in the courtyard, but the distinction is made REALLY clear in this episode.

The main cast, aka our protagonists, their places of association are usually amongst nature and people. If they're inside buildings, it is small cramped space, very much lived in and not completely upkept BUT it is what makes them very human. Our antagonists are associated with grand buildings and detailed windows that almost touch the ceiling. Gold trimmings. Vibrant rich colours that could only be afforded by the rich. If not the massive chateau, we have larger-than-life catholic churches, with stone walls higher than the eye can see. Our antagonists are congregations and establishments. Our protagonists are individuals.

I'd love to put some examples but I've used up my image slots, which means I'm making you rewatch (jokingly you don't have to) Nocturne from ep1-ep4 making you really conscious of the backgrounds

We as an audience have already slotted Olrox with with high-class, even though we as an audience know there's more to him. Olrox is designed with visual cues of the antagonists. His clothes literally could be wallpaper for the chateau. Not only that, the way he stands and holds himself very much leans into some of the stereotypes and tropes of the upper class that are often shoved into the media we consume. Then Mizrak, we do not see Mizrak anywhere besides the church, just strictly following the commands of the Abbott. We as an audience already have preconceived notions about religion, especially catholicism in the real world. Also, we have an established view of how Castlevania goes about religious characters from the previous series. Mizrak appears to have no other purpose but to be one of the main antagonist's guards.

This is a subversion.

Subtly this is going to tell us there is so much more with Mizrak and Olrox, and how their values align more with the protagonists rather than the villains and antagonists of the show. However, since they already began as oppositions to Richter and co, they need to earn the trust of the audience first so then they become more likable whenever they do have to earn the trust of Richter and co. This is our first building block. A step towards trust towards us and a step towards trust between Mizrak and Olrox.

(The location of their private conversations is REALLY important because they also tell us a lot about the characters, but I'll save it for the ep 3 breakdown when I get to it)

The sequencing and length of these shots are really important for the first half of the bedroom scene because we have exposition to get through. The scene has to be set out very strong from the start BUT, it also has to ease us in because this is a drastic shift, not only visually with naked characters but also a shift on the audience's expectation of already established characters. This is why we need this window first. We need to ease into this bedroom scene, or else we're going to be way too distracted by what is about to be shown.

Going forward SOME of these will be gifs to help illustrate my point. After all this is an animation! This is really important to show you in motion.

This pan down, oh my god this pan down. Camera pans help to reveal new information off-camera or to showcase a shift in tone/perspective. Suffice it to say THAT IS A LOT OF INFORMATION and a new shift in tone. This long shot is here to help establish our setting more clearly, what characters we're following, and what is happening. What are we establishing here? Mizrak and Olrox had sex in an inn room, that's all this shot is. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, other than the fact Olrox is censoring his own and Mizrak's crotch but that's it. As simple as it is, it is extremely effective. Yet it's so pulled back and obscured by the flower we can't be completely certain which is why we need the midshot of them that follows after, which helps to continually ease us into the scene. It tells us so much with so little. Show, don't tell is not only a powerful tool in visual arts. It leaves the audience to their imagination and I'm pretty sure a lot of us can fill in the gaps (I see you writers, I've seen everything on AO3).

This a midshot of Mizrak blankly staring up at the ceiling. Then they both turn to each other before Mizrak leaves and Olrox watches. In silence.

It's simple.

It's straightforward.

It makes you throw your arms up and go "what the fuck is happening???" It works. We're easing into this scene which is what we need. We're distracted by our own shock. So we've gone from our establishing the bed to establishing in our faces that, yes, it is indeed Olrox and Mizrak and they are both naked. That yes, they had sex and that Mizrak decided to stay for the night. Reasons? No clue and it's not important plot-wise, we just need to wrap our heads around that it is THESE TWO. It needs to be simple.

The lack of dialogue gives us room to breathe and to think. This is why this shot feels and holds on for what feels like a long time, in silence.

It might've changed but last I recall on average, shots will hold for 2-3 seconds. This is due to preventing the audience loose interest because the unchanging visual stimuli (and let's be frank attention spans are shortening, therefore media will change to reflect that). HOWEVER, a shot length heavily depends on the context of the scene and what you're trying to specifically say with a single shot, therefore making it super short OR super long. This one shot is six seconds. It allows for the dramatics to be amped up and it allows us to get through our shock for a bit longer since we're only TWO SHOTS into this scene, and right after this we're jumping straight into exposition and their deeply intricate dynamic. This is out six seconds to scream our heads off in shock and laugh in disbelief before we get hit with Mizrak's existential crisis.

The silence and the simplicity of it all also strengthen their mysterious characterization that has been established in episodes 01-03. We never see how they got here OR the act itself. However, what is really telling of these characters is their lack of body language and facial expressions. From episodes 01-03, Mizrak and Olrox have been seen to be very reserved characters until their fight in the courtyard. Their last scene together was fighting, in a courtyard. Now we're seeing them, post-sex, with neutral expressions and body language? The lack of any answers, the lack of anything dynamic happening from this shot and the last shot makes the audience absolutely learn for an answer. We're now invested in this side plot. What got these two men to be in this vulnerable state? How do we get the answer? We sit, we wait, we watch that vulnerability get earned. Mutual vulnerability that is.

This gets into personal opinion here so feel free to skip, but I really really enjoy how we get absolutely no answer or visuals, which might be a strange take for someone who does of fan-anims and fanart of them coughcough. We as an audience can get through literally two images and understand they had sex. We don't need to be spoon-fed. Media is in my personal opinion is more fun to engage in where we get just enough to know what going on, but we can fill in the blanks ourselves. We can read between the lines. This is adult animation. This is not to say I'm opposed to an explicit scene with them later down the line, I just think this is a very good way to establish the dynamic they are going to have. It has me way more emotionally invested in these characters which I believe is far more important because it tells me we're in it for the long haul and we're going to see a relationship actually develop in real time, both their high points and pitfalls. Also, I personally feel this whole scene is building towards something we have yet to see. I do not believe this is the last time we will see them put in a situation like this due to the whole emotional weight of them being naked, but that's theory territory LOL. I'm so happy to be proven wrong though.

This long shot is slightly tilted up to help to censor genitalia but it is again a REALLY SHOCKING SHOT. I personally don't know any recent Western animated media that has done this, especially of a male couple. Even if there are some animated examples, this is not a very common thing, especially to this extreme.

Now we're actually getting into the meat of their actual discussions, knowledge, if you will.

By the way, the question Olrox is presenting, is already information everyone knows. Actually, a better word is presumed. We saw the abbot in episode 02. Olrox explicitly states it in episode 03, asking "Why is your abbot forging Night Creatures for the Vampire Messiah?" There's technically no reason to say this BUT for this scene, it works because we're still distracted visually. We still need to ease into this, much like how Olrox needs to ease himself into this conversation before getting what he wants truly. Mizrak's opinion.

This midshot of Mizrak's back is so much important then you think.

I can be wrong, but I feel like you're supposed to be half-distracted or get whiplash by Mizrak's back. Frankly, we're supposed to get major whiplash from these two characters naked for a moment. These characters are usually completely covered from the neck down. This also makes the conversation they're having to be put under a way different lens. If they were clothed for this entire scene, the emotional weight would almost be non-existent.

Nakedness/lack of clothes is vulnerability, especially for a knight. Especially for a guarded vampire. I will be talking A LOT about vulnerability, so I hope I don't wear out the word too much.

You can perceive this shot in two ways and I think both work in this scenario. It can showcase even when naked and vulnerable, his unwillingness to open up, unable to fully face his own truths, the truths Olrox lays out for him. Yet, you're also having your back to a vampire, a perceived threat, which is a very vulnerable position to be in. You can't see your opponent.

It shows Mizrak trusts Olrox physically, but not emotionally. Not yet. We're going to watch Olrox earn it and for Mizrak to reciprocate it back throughout the series. Also just in general, sex requires vulnerability, choice AND trust, therefore even the implication of sex, those meanings get slapped down onto these characters. It means that they have the means to trust, be vulnerable, and have a choice with each other physically, but emotionally, they're building up to that.

This medium shot will be the ONLY SHOT we get of Mizrak in his boxers. This is plainly in part of the fact he's hurriedly getting dressed BUT we need to see his hesitation, him slightly lowering his clothes, him actually listening to Olrox.

Olrox is right.

Though Olrox isn't here to converse about other people to Mizrak. He wants his opinion.

Close-up shot of Olrox!

Close-ups are used to make the facial expression of a character the main focus. It gives us clarity on the character's thoughts and feelings on a particular subject, even when lying it can already tell us a lot about a character in the moment. The character themselves are the sole focus of the shot, nothing else. The same goes for objects. This also means when you do the opposite and obscure the face...

(drum roll to the next shot)

This is a great close-up shot to cut to because this has Mizrak fully turn AWAY from Olrox, put on his armor, and paired with the line "I don't know what you're talking about." We're getting visual and audio confirmation that Mizrak does not want to acknowledge his own thoughts, in turn, he will not face Olrox and the audience.

He is actively putting his guard back up as soon as Olrox prods for his opinions. From episodes 01-04, all we have seen him do is be at the church and stand alongside Emmanuel, that's it. He is not a leader, a pillar of the community like the Abbot, he is a follower. A guard dog ( like Drolta Tzentes, though she has way more personal agency than Mizrak). He never voices his own opinion, his own thoughts. To do that would need you have the strength to be

VULNERABLE!

By this point in time, he's not fleshed to the same degree as most of the other characters. Richter gets the episode 01 prologue with Olrox being his main point of trauma. Tera gets her speaker backstory fleshed out along with establishing Drolta and Ezerbet's longstanding history. Annette and Edouard get a really well-established (btw beautifully done too oh my god) flashback as Annette recounts the past. While Maria has no flashbacks, her character gets to have her individual values and attitudes fleshed out due to her screen time and her connections to Richter and Tera.

Mizrak though?

Not much is known about him besides the church. We put this label on him simply due to what the show has given us, but through Olrox we're getting information out of him because clearly Olrox has seen there's more than meets the eye. Especially when Mizrak drops the line "when the world abandons you." Olrox's investment is also now our investment in discovering who Mizrak is.

Mizrak however, does not want to get personal feelings in the way of duty, a common trope in media for knights, soldiers, and religious people. So he shuts him out.

Multiple.

Times.

This shot pans up, moving Olrox from lying down, which is more casual to more structured sitting pose. Specific movement is IMPORTANT to capture, so instead of just cutting to another shot, you move the camera with it. There's a tone shift. We need to see him go from lounging to making a very direct statement. Mizrak is ignoring his question so Olrox has to be more blunt with his statement because he needs him to listen- so the camera and the his body language have to clearly state "I'm not joking or fucking around anymore, just listen."

What he says is absolute truth though, this is exactly what happens in episode 08. "They're revolutionaries, Father. We're here to crush them."

The stark difference here is crazy in this medium shot.

Mizrak. His head is purposely cut off, he's practically clothed, with his chain mail on. He's standing up and his posing is quite stiff with his hands almost balled into fists. You also might be thinking, why is his chest and boxers the only things we see???? It makes him appear so much more clothed up and, therefore a lot more guarded. Cutting off the face means we don't get to see his emotions, he's trying to ignore personal feelings on whether it's right or not.

Olrox on the other hand, is full body, we see his face, naked, and despite his very direct statement in the last shot, he still somewhat casually sitting. Olrox is STILL trying to get Mizrak to be vulnerable and trying to get HIS opinion.

Funnily enough, I've talked about this close up shot before in BOTH episode 06 and episode 08's breakdowns. However, I've never actually discussed this initial way Olrox approaches him.

Olrox again, prods at Mizrak and this time Mizrak does have to sit with that thought. "Do you think he's right?" "Are you sure this path is right?" He's asking if what Mizrak is doing is good. If the horrors committed are justifiable. Both the way their expressions tell us that Mizrak does not think it is, and Olrox KNOWS. This close-up is INTIMATE. We're getting deep into personal matters (well try)

Side profiles not only give an air of drama to a scene, but it usually means there's more to the bigger picture since we're not seeing a person's full face. We're deliberately only seeing one side of the picture.

This is a split-second shot and I've discussed it briefly in another breakdown, but now I can get to discuss it more in-depth now as it's own shot!

This is a top-down shot, putting these characters in a place of vulnerability and weakness. Olrox is put even lower than Mizrak in this shot, he's far smaller and takes up less space in this shot, therefore giving him less presence and less power. Episode 03 had established Olrox was the man (or should I say vampire) in control of the situation, hell, the shot just before this one had Olrox wrapping around Mizrak, again trying to get under his skin. Yet now he's suddenly placed the lowest in the power dynamic.

Not only this, the camera is packed in so tightly and close, it's practically suffocating. We have no visual room to breathe, almost like we're suffocated with the evil that prevails in the world and suffocated with the weight of the question "Are you sure this path is right?". Olrox's eyes are the only aspect we see of his face and Mizrak's eyes are the main focus of this shot.

And they both look horrifically sad. An emotion we have not seen either of these characters make.

This shot does not last long but it shifts the rest of the section completely, even when the moment of concern is gone. It lingers with us when dismissed because it does not match any other scene we've had thus far or what we have known of the characters.

This one specific close-up is very important because it comes back to us in episode 08 and episode 06.

It's the holding from behind and the very concerned look from behind. Mizrak only ends up mirroring ONE of the behaviors. It's the concerned look from behind in episode 06 (timestamp is 19:25). They're put at the same heights, both talking about the evils of the world. Tin foil hat here, Mizrak may end up doing the other behavior, holding from behind, in another season.

The weight of this shot is so heavy that it is treated so differently amongst all of the other shots in this entire interaction. It also holds on for much longer. It holds for 5 seconds. This is important. There are little character moments from Olrox, like how Olrox looks up at him and he holds onto Mizrak as long as he can before has has to let go and watch him walk away. Duty, before desire.

A moment that Olrox has to go through once again for episode 08.

In response to a line. "So we use our heads." Olrox jokingly goes "Or lose them."

This long shot is not only tilted up but it's on the slightest of angles as if to showcase how we're shifting the mood and tone of the scene. We are losing the gentleness and sincerity of the moment, back to the very conveniently placed knee to censor Olrox. We have Mizrak pulling up his pants. Whatever vulnerability they had, it's gone.

I don't think either of them wants to sit in the thought of their existential crisis because not only Mizrak is clearly going through one but Olrox is too. While I'm sure they were sitting with their own thoughts for a long while before meeting each other, it's only forced to be on the forefront and confronted after meeting each other.

So the "lose our heads" line ends up coming back around to where someone actually ends up losing their head in the same episode.

While first, it is very comical because I've seen so many people make the joke of "Olrox gave Mizrak head" (which doesn't help because Olrox smirks at him after passing him the head), it also solidifies Olrox's truths to Mizrak. People will lose their heads under Ezerbet, and there is evidence not even hours after their discussion. Despite the humor, Olrox is deeply concerned.

Olrox is always right. Whenever he makes a statement, he has always been right and has always been proven right. The only thing he hasn't been right about is episode 08 when he says "If you go back, she'll kill you." However, in terms of technicality, Mizrak hasn't gone back to Ezerbet/Sekmet. This will be addressed in season 02 most likely and even then I think Olrox will be proven wrong. Maybe? We shall see LOL.

Which while we're at it:

He eyes Mizrak the ENTIRE time during this very small interaction, and while he eyes him, we get a close-up of the book somewhat revealed before hiding it under his coat- silently communicating to him. This will eventually lead to episode 06. All interactions lead to effecting the next time they meet. I just really like this detail, though that might be a corn plate moment I'm not sure HAHAHA

Ok lets jump back to the bed scene!

So this follows up the "So we use our heads." "Or lose them."

This is said insincerely, so Mizrak jabs back at him with the same insincereity and less seriousness of this scene. Coupled with the fact we have a panning shot of Mizrak pulling his pants up, aka, pulling up his guard. Important note again- his back is STILL FACING HIM. Even with the chainmail fully covering him.

Also, I just really enjoy the animation here, like the way his arm goes from in front of him and straight, and then goes to being pulled back and bent, but that's a side tangent.

Low-angle tilted down shot. It ends up placing Olrox in a lower position of power than Mizrak in this current interaction, coupled with the fact that Mizrak towers over Olrox when he's standing up.

Despite us not seeing much of Mizrak besides his chest- he's fully clothed with his tunic FACING Olrox. While Olrox is STILL naked. Mizrak is shielding himself behind the cross. His faith. Olrox still is trying to delve into Mizrak's vulnerabilities and Mizrak won't give in.

Props to everyone who worked on this shot he just looked really pretty here.

This shot is tilted up and a close-up, an opposite shot to the previous one. It feels daunting, coupled with that line especially. Unlike a tilted-down shots, which make a character appear more vulnerable and weak, a tilted-up shot can make a character feel more in control of the scene. It makes him appear unwavering and solid in his stance Also, this is so specific but we haven't had any solely focused Mizrak shots for a hot moment now. The last time we had it was when he had his back turned to Olrox- now he has all his clothes on and is fully turned towards Olrox. Say it with me !! Mizrak's guard is up !! He's shielding his vulnerability !!

He feels way more emotionally safer to face him guarded up and a lot of his language has very very subtly shifted from when he had clothes on versus off.

Also thank you to everyone who worked on this shot, Olrox is very pretty here too.

Instead of having a tilted-down shot to do a verse version of Mizrak, it's pretty much straight forward close-up shot, which means the equal power dynamic in this conversation has returned. Simply because Olrox begins to prod at Mizrak again with the line "Who pays for it? Will you?"

Oop naked Olrox. However, despite Olrox's ass being very clearly on display, he's not the main focus since his face isn't shown. He's only here to showcase the visual contrast of him being naked to a fully clothed Mizrak. Even his dagger is strapped to his thigh, which only means there's even more layers to his protective bubble he surrounds himself in.

This close-up is important because it's a declaration of how much Mizrak doesn't care in the slightest. His facial performance, aka what we're focused on, doesn't look like he's lying or secretly worried either, he's genuinely disinterested. He just wants to get dressed and leave because Olrox keeps prodding at HIM for his opinions. As disinterested as he is for whatever Olrox has to say, he's disinterested in shedding his opinion.

This midshot is so casual. He is very non-nonchalantly leaning back with a smile and jokes about demons. The camera moves with Olrox. Camera pans normally mean revealing new information visually, as if something is off camera, similar to the bed reveal at the beginning of this whole scene. What Olrox is doing is revealing new information. Also, he is on the very right of the screen then slowly gets pushed a little more towards the center, but still on the right. Having a character placed on the very cusp of a stage makes the visual balance feel really off, therefore as an audience, we feel really off-balance. So couple that with Olrox's humourous attitude with an information dump...

This so interesting because it sprinkles in that Olrox knows a lot about the forge master ability, hell itself, and a lot more we don't get privy to. He knows way more then he lets on.

This ONE LINE gets three different shots. The very casual, humorous sentiment gets interrupted visually with extreme close-ups of Mizrak who is clearly peeved and tense about this. The quick succession of jumping to different images makes us tense up. This is due to the timing suddenly speeding up AND where the camera is placed is so drastically different.

He's reacting to the conversation unlike how he has before.

Now Mizrak's hands are fully covered, the last part of his skin, the last part that Olrox used in an attempt for vulnerability. Mizrak's guard is now unwavering, covered head to toe. He's gone from reserved and quiet to angrily guarding again.

Lol you thought I was done talking about divides and boxes, you are WRONG.

Mizrak is boxing himself into all his preconceived notions of religion. This is the only time he's been aligned inside of the door frame. Mizrak is done with this conversation and he doesn't want to hear anything else.

Also, funnily enough- Olrox takes up the amount of space in this shot as to Mizrak and the door. Compositional it does make it feel more filled up rather than empty, showcasing Olrox is listening, peeved, but he is listening. It also might hark onto the Olrox God connections that are being subtly slid to us, though this feels like a slight stretch. There's a stronger Olrox God parallel I talk about later, so pocket that thought!

I have to skip some of the shots because of the image limitation, but thought this one needed to be addressed!

Not only does this wide shot make us feel really pulled away and disconnected from whatever private conversation they were having. It also makes us feel like after this interaction, whatever same understanding they had, is gone (well not completely gone, it has to be rebuilt again). Mizrak's unrelenting faith in one God is causing a rift, a divide if you will between the both of them. They feel so separated, so distant from each other because Mizrak is still really stubborn.

Then after all is said and done. After Mizrak has the final say. He leaves and Olrox watches. Like episode 08. Again.

Olrox is pushed into a box, which funnyily enough, Olrox tends to be seen in a lot of boxed-up framing to the right of the screen. You can see a visual collection of it here. Whenever he's from the left of the screen boxed up, it's usually turned towards himself like an inner reflection.

Ok, I have to skip some more shots to get to here.

"One God. And you think he can protect you?"

This is major foreshadowing but the one God, that Olrox scoffs about is himself. This close-up solely focuses on how he looks down and watches Mizrak from above. Much like how God is described in scripture.

Psalm 53:2 NIV: God looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.

Psalm 102:19 NIV: The Lord looked down from his sanctuary on high, from heaven he viewed the earth,

Olrox looking at Mizrak from above as a protector happens numerous times in episode 08.

There are also a ton of bible verses about living under the shadow of God, it's considered a positive thing because God's shadow covers the entire body, therefore a person is fully protected.

Psalms 91:1-2 NIV: Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

Psalm 36:7 ESV: How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

(i do realize now all my examples are psalms i hope that's ok to prove a point LOLOL)

Olrox is the sole protector of Mizrak to the point where he even drags him away for his own safety. The shot choice when he says it is a close-up shot of his face and his eye is slightly glowing, making him appear way more supernatural, almost god-like in a way.

It hasn't been confirmed (or denied for that matter) if Olrox's creature form is the Quetzalcoatl (an Aztec deity), but the god parallels are very apparent from the get-go, and a lot of the fandom (aka the audience) who are invested in Castlevania have placed this label onto him not only for the reasons mentioned above BUT also due to his association to Mizrak, who is a man who fights for God. However, this aspect doesn't get fleshed out like their vulnerability because Olrox only goes into this protector role at the very end of the season. After all, that is when he has a change of heart, much like Mizrak. This means this will not be the last time we will see Olrox in this role even after the break-up.

To wrap this up, vulnerability as showcased in episode 04 does appear in episodes 03, 06, and 08! I personally believe though that episode 04 however really hammers you on the head with it because you're able to play around with someone's literal nakedness as a visual metaphor. This episode is supposed to make you really conscious of them and the decisions they decide to make going forward. It is the bridging point between episode 03 and episode 06. It's a stab in the heart when you watch episode 08.

Vulnerability and the ability to open up is a massive thing between these characters and it's only going to get more raw and more human as the series goes on. We see it happen when Olrox is the one to open up first. One thing I noticed from both Castlevania and Castlevania: Nocturne is that love can be the most damning thing or it can save you. The choice, however, is up to you. However, to love is choosing to be vulnerable. By the way, love isn't just romantic it can be very much platonic and familial as seen with practically all the characters, both current and past... Olrox and Mizrak though are just really complicated and messy. Aren't all characters though? Isn't that what makes them human, even if they've lost it centuries ago? HAHAHASBDHADSB

(ok so the paragraphs below is my personal opinion but i think they're a good ending note/side tangent)

If we ever actually get an explicit scene it's going to make a specific commentary on how these characters have developed from season 1 to whatever season they have sex in, especially how they go about sequencing, pacing, and shot choices, especially with Netflix censoring and rating requirements. Limited things you can show, and limited things you're allowed to even imply, so everything has to make sense to what they want to portray AND say. Even simplicity requires a lot of thought. They can do some really cool stuff with it in which vulnerability, both physical and emotional, gets explored between Olrox and Mizrak. Sex is actually a very interesting way to explore a dynamic, I feel it's really underutilized, though it's mostly in part to a societal downpour view on it. With Mizrak and Olrox, two very withdrawn characters, you could say something really interesting about them as individuals and as a pair that you might not be able to do when clothed. The commentary may be as simple or as profound as the creatives behind this want it to be.

A counterpoint though is that you can very easily make a non-explicit scene feel really explicit and sensual without sex or kissing. While yes, we want confirmation through that means, don't get me wrong I love when queer love is straight-up told to us, there's something about telling a story of intimacy between characters that will often engage us first into a story. Phrases like "This is gayer than gay sex" are coined due to the emotional connection a character has, leaving a far more profound impact on an audience. Things like non-explicitly romantic touches like hands, the way the character looks at a person, communication, etc etc, are ways countless media have explored intimacy. Which Mizrak and Olrox already have. Why not build upon a solid foundation?

Whatever the pathway is, it will fit inside the themes of Nocturne and its aspects of revolution, freedom, and choice which is crazy to think "Olrox and Mizrak intimate scene??? meaning-" YES, it can (like sexual freedom, though I don't think it would be explored, it's just cool to think about). All of their scenes serve to strengthen those show's themes since they're a side plot. But I digress! I'm excited to see how they further Mizrak and Olrox's dynamic in a visual manner!

Okay, with that all said, I'm done with episode 04! One more episode to go! This was all for fun and to be silly about a show I really enjoy, but I hope this gets you to rewatch Nocturne! Apply this to other scenes! Enjoy the craft of animation!!

[beef-brisket]

Adam looked around while Lucifer bounced Avery on his knee.

Adam: So. Redemption, huh? It's uh... interesting idea.

Charlie beamed: Really!? I mean- yes. Very interesting. There's a lot of planning that has gone into everything.

Adam glances over to the bar: Yeeah, I can tell.

He wanted to tell the princess that she's wasting her time, but he really didn't feel like getting into an argument.

The fuck is happening to him? He loves starting fights.

Fuck it.

Adam: You know it's bullshit, right?

Charlie: B-Bullshit?

Lucifer glances over to them.

Lucifer: You should hear her out, Adam. She's done a lot of work.

Adam: Oh sure. This place is huge and everything but how many guests do you have?

Charlie gulped: Two-. But that's okay! Their doing great! They have weekly sessions-.

Adam: That's cute. How many have you redeemed?

Everyone was silent, even Avery.

Adam: ...You don't know oooor none?

Charlie looks away: none.

Adam: Hm. Interesting but not impressive.

Vaggie: Look, fucker. She's worked hard on this place and these sinners that are here! You can just shit on her idea!

Adam: Oh, consider ot well shited on, Vagina~.

Charlie glanced at Vaggie, did Adam know her?

Adam: It's just- I mean fuck. Look at it! Do you really think Heaven is going to let in sinners just because they know how to not be a piece of shit 24/7?

Vaggie glared: They let you in.

Adam smiled: Yeah, they did.

Vaggie storms up to him: Listen here, first prick. You can't just come in here like you fucking own the place and tell the PRINCESS of Hell that her dream isn't going to work!

Adam smiled wider as Vaggie went off on him. Fuck he missed this.

Adam: Oh, I can't? Well, I am technically a representative of Heaven, I've been there for nearly 10,000 years, bitch. It's my fucking job to protect every soul up there from the scum down here. So, why would I just bend over and let your little princess ass fuck me into letting sinners upstairs, huh?

Vaggies eye twitched: thatsnotwhatshesdoing.

Adam: Isn't it? Yo, Chandler, do you know what you need to do to pass divine judgment?

Charlie: Uh- I-It's Charlie- hi! Actually... I do!

Adam: Really? Well, you'd be athe only one, toots~. So, wanna enlighten us?

Charlie: ...Wait- no one knows?

Adam smiled: One person knows!

Charlie: Oh- who?

Adam: You. You just said you knew. Unless you were lying-.

Adam gasps: Which is a big no-no! So. Either you know what a soul needs to pass divine judgment oooor you don't. Which is it?

Charlie: ...I don't know.

Adam: There we go.

Charlie: Look- everyone deserves a second chance, right? If this is a long-term solution for stopping the exterminations, then shouldn't we all be doing our part?

Adam: Ha! Fuck no!

Avery: no!

Adam: That's my girl~. How about this, if you can answer this question for me, I'll support your hotel.

Charlie beams again: Okay! What is it?

Adam: What sinners don't qualify for your hotel?

Charlie: ...They all qualify- everyone deserves a second chance.

Adam: Oh yeah? Do you know what some of these assholes down here have done? Do serial killers deserve to go to Heaven? Do their victims deserve to live out their afterlife in fear because the cunt that fucking butchered them are now in Heaven?

Charlie: I... e-everyone deserves a second-.

Adam: Want to say something else? Something that's meaningful? Not everyone deserves a second chance, Channing. Some deserve to rot down here, and if I'm lucky, I get to shove my axe into their chest once a year. So, I'll give you one last chance. What sinners don't qualify for your hotel?

What about an au where Adam goes to Hell for night trips, wher ehe just parties and fucks. He has a disguise (it's just a slightly different looking helmet).

Lucifer joins his daughter and her friends at a bar, where he sees "Adam". He instantly knows it's him, but he's curious as to what he's doing.

So Lucifer spends hours flitting with him and buying him drinks to get him drunk. But Lucifer actually finds himself having a great time.

Long story short- they fuck, Adam doesn't let Lucifer know he's Adam. He goes back to Heaven and after a few months, he finds out he's pregnant.

Which is fucking weird cause he's definitely a dude, and he's very dead. But Lucifer's the Devil 🤷.

He basically has to play it off as him getting fat. It's working until the next meeting with Lucifer happens during his ninth month, and he's goes into labor right in front of Lucifer.

Lucifer: Why didn't you tell me your were fucking pregnant!?

Adam: Because you didn't know it was me!!

Lucifer: Yes I did! You have the same face!

Adam: ..... Oh..

[miijiu]

Hello, sorry for the long text and for using English, my Chinese isn't good enough to write to you properly.

I wanted to thank you for always writing your thoughts about Silvaze ⚪🟣 and expressing your reasoning and/or passion behind the two. My favourite Sonic game story has always been 06, but the difficulty in finding others who also find love in the story due to the memes and universal hate (which I believe to be from of the lack of understanding of the themes and narrative) makes it rather lonely.

I'm glad to hear you share the same thoughts that ⚪ is essentially a "shonen protagonist" as he's the one who wants to become a hero for others (versus 🔵 who fights for what he likes, and ⚫ who fights against what he dislikes). ⚪ Thinks about the morality of it all; one of my favourite things is that... He didn't hesitate in killing 🔵 at first, even mocking 🔵, yet when 🌹 protects 🔵...!! Because ⚪ spent time with 🌹, he re-evaluates the situation and wonders if it's the right thing to do! His earnesty and kind-heart is what separates him from 🟣!! Where 🟣 says "you're so naive" (I do think it's better if it was localised as "you're too soft" due to the double meaning of naive...) as 🟣 believes they cannot miss their chance to change the future. I love how ⚪🟣's obligations ties them together yet their differences still show... And that's what 🟣 likes about ⚪: his kind heart. Even in the end when 🟣 sacrifices herself, I find it interesting the English doesn't seem to have this line: "you should be prepared to make sacrifices", where it highlights ⚪🟣's differences; 🟣 is willing to go to the extremes, and ⚪ believes there's always another way, a kinder way, a better solution where everyone can win. It's why ⚪ is hope.

... Sorry, I ended up rambling unnecessarily.

I'm just very thankful you express such love for 06 and the writing, and also bring your understanding of the characters to light as it helps people like me realise we're not alone in this thinking. It must be difficult to express these thoughts publicly as the cultural difference and fanon skews the representation largely causing discourse or arguments which are entirely biased, yet you preserve and persist, and you create and share, thank you so so much 🤍💜

This means so much.

I dont answer to tumblr questions in general. but your words r really heartwarming and I hope you dont mind me sharing.

I relates to what u said. some of ur wording and understandings even capture the very essense of their characterazations that I found difficult to express.

I rlly like how you interpret the 🦔"naivety" as "kindness". I think that works enough to convey the subtext of the original language, and showing Silver's character arc in 06.

Thank you so much.🙏🤍💜

[wannabanauthor]

What should happen to BuckTommy in Season 8b

Eddie's thinking about moving to Texas, right?

Well, he has to pack, and he calls his two favorite buff men to help him pack and load all his stuff.

Tommy did not know Buck was going to be there, and vice versa.

They stare awkwardly at each other before noticing that most of Eddie's stuff is already packed.

Cheeky bastard.

He locks them both in his house with the parting, "Figure it the fuck out, then I'll unlock the doors."

Buck and Tommy are more than able to break down the door if necessary, but that wouldn't be a nice thing to do to their best friend's house.

They try to out-wait Eddie, but several hours pass with no communication from him.

Buck is doing his best to not look or talk to Tommy, but all the doors are locked, including the bedrooms, so he's stuck in the living room.

The kitchen doesn't have any baking/cooking ingredients, just prepared food in the fridge.

Buck is without his coping mechanism, and at some point he breaks down crying in the kitchen.

Tommy wants to comfort him, but he knows he's the reason Buck is like this, so he feels stuck and doesn't know what to do.

He hands Buck a tissue and some water, but Buck turns around and ignores him, trying to hide his sobs.

Tommy goes back to the living room and sits on the floor.

"Why?" he hears Buck say.

He gets back up and goes into the kitchen.

"Why what?" Tommy asks.

"Why did you give me a second chance just to break my heart six months later? Why didn't you tell me that you only saw us as a temporary thing? Why did you even give me hope that we could be something more?" Evan asks, in between sobs.

"Evan, I'm so-"

"It's Buck. You don't get to call me Evan anymore."

"I'm sorry."

Buck stops crying and looks at Tommy. There's anger and heartbreak written all over his face.

"Fuck you, you don't get to be sorry," Buck says.

"But I am. I didn't plan any of it. It just happened. You asked me to move in, and I panicked. I've been hurt before, and I knew I couldn't survive it if I moved in and then lost you."

Buck scoffed, but out of irony, not amusement.

Tommy stepped closer to him, and Buck remained where he was, almost as if he was sizing Tommy up.

"You kept putting me on this pedestal, and I knew one day you'd see me for who I am and leave," Tommy says.

"Is that what you think of me? Out of the two of us, you're the one who has left me, twice," Buck points out, and Tommy winces at that.

"You're very impulsive, and we hadn't even broached that topic before. I thought I was okay with you setting the pace, but I guess I wasn't. I thought it was in our best interest to end things now then later when it would hurt more."

Tommy pauses for a moment and looks at Buck. Really looks at him. His own heart breaks when he picks up on the little details of how Buck had been handling the breakup, The flour under his fingernails, his stubble, his longer curls, the bags under his eyes, the fidgeting with what's ever in reach, currently tissues being torn into little bits.

Tommy knows in his heart that he practically broke the man he loves, and it makes him feel even worse. There is still a part of him that wants to run, but he can't run again. Not after seeing Evan like this.

"I'm scared, Evan," Tommy confesses.

Buck's head snaps up in surprise, and he squints his eyes as if he doesn't trust Tommy.

Tommy feels the panic rise within him, but continues his train of thought. "Evan, I love you. But i'm terrified that one day you'll get tired of me and find someone else. It's happened before, and-"

"I'm not him. I'm me. From the first moment we met, I knew that I wanted to be with you. I didn't understand it at first because it felt so different from my past. I mean, you're not the first guy I've had a crush on. At all," Evan says.

Tommy clears his throat uncomfortably. He'd rather not think about Evan's past crushes.

"We spent nearly every free moment we've had together," Evan says. "I thought we were ready to move to the next step."

"I wasn't ready, and I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I should have stayed and talked it out, but it felt like the room was closing in on me, and I needed to leave."

"And you left, then ignored me for weeks," Evan says. "I felt like I was going insane and imagined our whole relationship."

Tommy steps into Evan's space and uses two fingers to lift Evan's chin. "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me, Evan. I love you so much, and I'm terrified because it's never felt like this before."

Evan gives an amused chuckle. "I guess it was my turn to see you at your worst."

Tommy cups Evan's cheeks. "I am so sorry, for everything. I feel like I don't deserve a second chance, but I'm still ask-"

Evan cuts him off with a kiss.

Tommy relaxes and kisses him back. It feels like coming home after a long day of work to the arms of his partner. He never wants that feeling to leave.

"I love you too, asshole," Evan whispers against Tommy's lips.

They both chuckle at that.

"Where do we go from here?" Evan asks.

"Couple's counseling. I want us to work. I want us to be forever," Tommy says and gives Evan the tenderest kiss.

"That works," Evan replies between kisses.

They don't stop kissing or holding each other until they're nearly out of breath.

"Finally!" they hear from outside and jump.

Eddie's standing outside with his phone in hand, and on the screen is a live camera feed showing.

"Now, let's get something to eat," Tommy says and kisses Evan again. He was going to kill and thank Eddie, but for now, he's happy just to be with Evan again.

He looks into Evan's eyes and knows that this is it for him. Evan's the one.

[awriterinthenight]

"I Think I Love You More"-Five Hargreeves

requested: anonymous

words: 1769

warnings: swearing, Klaus being weird and just himself, that's it

summary: While planning a birthday party for the Hargreeves siblings with Lila, you don't know what to get Five, until you think of the perfect gift

In most families birthdays were usually celebrated with parties, balloons, cake, and presents. Unless you were one of the Hargreeves siblings, in that case birthdays were just another day.

You and Lila were both shocked to hear that none of the siblings ever had a true birthday. Luther was always busy with his dad or a mission, Diego was apparently "too manly" to celebrate, Allison did celebrate her birthday with Claire and Patrick, but it was never the same as a real birthday party, Klaus was...well Klaus, Five was stuck in the apocalypse for most of his life, Ben died young never experiencing one, and Viktor was always saddened when the day came around. This meant you and Lila had to take things into your own hands and give them the best birthday ever.

"Should we do it in the house, or rent a place?" you asked Lila, as you two sat on the couch a notebook in front of both of you to plan out details.

"If we rent somewhere it'll have the crappy birthday feel, but nothing beats a questionable house party with even worse decoration," she said, scribbling down your decision.

You two continued to talk and work out details, and in the midst of your planning you didn't see Diego and Five sneak up behind you two, "Their scheming something, this can't be good," Diego said, making the post of you close your notebooks and jump from being startled.

"When one is involved it's never good, but the both of them together might cause the end of the world," Five joked, standing behind you on the couch, "What are you doing anyway?" he asked, his tone was softer when he talked to you, and he was much less arrogant too.

You shrugged trying to act normal, "Nothing, me and Lila were just talking," you said, gaining a bit of courage to ask your next question, "You're guy's birthday is coming up right, is there anything you would want?"

Diego being who he was spoke up first, since you tried to phrase the question to both of them, but also more pointedly at Five, but Diego isn't the brightest crayon, "Personally I would like for you to stop eating all the damn cookies," he complained.

"I'll take it into consideration," you said, definitely not going to stop eating the cookies, "What about you?" you asked, turning towards Five, noticing how he was missing his signature watch he always wore.

"Nothing really, never really got anything ever, so it really doesn't matter," he said with a shrug. That was just so helpful, I'm being sarcastic can you tell, or is it that obvious?

"Oh," you said, a bit surprised at his answer, "Okay, then."

Once Five and Diego left, Lila went out to pick up some things for the surprise party, leaving you to ponder why you had to like the most annoying Hargreeves sibling. It was nothing truly against him, more that he was impossible to shop for, and him saying you didn't have to get him something made it even harder. But lucky for you, you ran into your favorite Hargreeves sibling.

"Hey Klaus, what do you think your brother would want for his birthday?" you asked, optimistic that he could help you.

Klaus' interest seemed to have been piqued by your question, "Hmm, with Five he could want anything from a lobotomy to old grandpa clothes," he said, being of no help.

You let out a long breath, "Unless you have any actual suggestion, thanks for wasting my time," you muttered, as you started to walk away from him.

"Wait," Klaus said, stopping you, "Just get him something practical that he'll like. Or, hear me out here, give him, yourself," he said, raising his eyebrows weirdly, putting his hands out in front of him.

"I'm sorry w-what," you stuttered, confused as to what he was saying.

"Oh, don't act all oblivious. It's so obvious you two are in love with each other. I mean it's agony to watch you two," he explained, laughing while he talked.

You tried to hide the look of shock on your face, was it really that obvious. "T-that's just...that isn't, we aren't," you stuttered out, frustrated with yourself for being so flustered by the mention of your small (massive) crush on Five.

Klaus let out a hearty laugh at your flustered state, "You are so in love with him it's crazy. Seriously you could give him anything and he would love it. By the way what are you getting me?" he asked, batting his lashes and acting dramatic.

"Something from a lobotomy to drugs," you said, annoyed at his antics.

He just giggled like the insane person he was, "Well, I bet it will be nowhere near as good as Five's gift," he said, now getting on your nerves.

You let out a sigh, walking away from Klaus, since you were not winning that conversation. You'd spent the next half hour trying to figure out what to get Five, but had come up with nothing so far. Fortunately you seemed to grow a brain cell and knew exactly what to get him. You immediately ran up to Klaus' room, since you were going to need a bit of help.

"Hey Klaus, how willing do you think Ben would be to help me with a little scheme?"

***

It was the day of the party, Lila had taken the siblings out to lunch to keep them away from the house while you and Pogo decorated the house. You had balloons, streamers, birthday hats, a pinata, and even a decent tasting birthday cake. It was, as Lila called it, all the essentials for a shit-tastic party. All the gifts were in a pile, except for your gift to Five since you wanted to give it to him personally.

You saw them enter the front door and into the living room, "Surprise," you said, smiling while using one of the party blowers (yes I had to look up what it was called, and yes that's what they're actually called apparently).

Everyone was surprised you and Lila had put together a whole party for them, but was excited to start celebrating. Everyone had put on party hats, especially Klaus who had 4 on his head, and had cracked open the champagne Lila bought.

The party went on for a few hours with music, cake, playing classic party games, and even everyone opening their gifts from you and Lila. However one person did notice a certain someone's gift to him wasn't in the pile.

"So what did you get me?" Five asked, now that the party was winding down and everyone was doing their own thing.

"What makes you think I got you something?" you said, crossing your arms, "You said not to get you anything."

He smiled at you, "I know you, darling, I know you got me something."

You let out a long breath, "Maybe I did," you said, uncrossing your arms, "But in my defense you're hard to shop for, so please don't hate it."

"I promise I won't," He said, excited to see what you got him.

You held the small box behind your back, "Close your eyes, and hold out your hands," you said, and he followed just as you directed. You placed the box in his hands and waited anxiously for him to open his eyes.

When he opened his eyes he looked at the box before opening it. Inside the box was a simple watch with a leather band.

"You got me a watch," he said, looking up at you through his lashes.

You couldn't tell if he was disappointed or surprised about the gift so you tried to play it off, "I-I just noticed your usual one was missing, and I remembered you said something about it being broken, so I just thought you could use a new one. I hope you like it," you rambled, not noticing how he was looking closer at the watch.

"F.H.," he said, running his finger over the initials, "And are those..."

You were nervous as to what he would think about this part of the watch, "My initials. I just thought it would be more personal if I added it. I can probably get it removed if you don't like it, but-" you once again rambled before getting cut off.

"Who said I didn't like it?" he said, once again looking at you like you were everything to him.

"Oh, I just, I didn't know how you would react so I didn't know if you would like it, sorry," you said anxiously.

He took a step closer to you, barely inches apart now, "This must've been expensive, how did you afford it?" he questioned, shocked that you would get him something so nice, and also trying to fight his urge to kiss you right then and there for it.

You swayed a bit, still nervous, "Actually I had it customized, then had Klaus have Ben steal it for me," you told him, explaining the heist you pulled earlier.

He let out a small laugh, something that was very uncommon for him, "So you customized a watch for me, then had a ghost steal it for me, and you threw an amazing party?"

"Yes, that's basically the whole story. I know it sounds crazy, but you know your family," you joked nervously.

Five smiled, looking at you once again, "I don't know what I love more, you or the watch," he confessed.

You were flustered by his confession, "I- y-you, love me?" you questioned, since you thought that he didn't love you back.

"Of course I do," he said, leaning in closer to you.

"Well, I love you too," you confessed, leaning in closer till your lips touched. Your first kiss was soft, but once you pulled away Five pulled you back in. This time the kiss was more passionate.

"I think I love you more," he said in-between kisses, making you laugh softly at his antics.

You two were so enthralled with each other, that you didn't notice Klaus celebrating in the back. Klaus had been so excited that his plan to get the two of you together worked. He had distracted Five and "accidentally" broke his watch. Since he knew you were very observant, he knew you would notice, get him a watch, but would personalize it, then Five would realise how in love you were with him, and would lead us to this point. Klaus was a real mastermind when it came to playing cupid.

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