#i'm aware of more than just...this exact moment and the very next thing in front of me

[myriad--starlings]

didn't kill me, can't kill me. still alive bitches. still kicking, still enjoying life despite it all. and oh how fucking sweet the taste of it all is. like the first long drink of water after a year of thirst. like a cool breeze on the neck in the hot sun. like the first break of light after the depths of night. I am alive alive alive alive despite EVERYTHING and I have so many years ahead of me. so what if I lost a year? if it's taking me time to recover? my healing deserves my energy as much as my creation. piece by piece. piece by piece. I am becoming again. like a tree, leafing out after the winter. watch me stretch for the sun as I feel her warmth again. watch me drink up the rain as she visits me again. I am determined to flourish.

[derpydoteddrake]

Viktor is under some kind of influence, but at first glance it's hard to tell the exact nature of it.

But I believe its more simple than one would think.

The core is basically jingling keys in front of him and telling him to look at them.

But I believe its more simple than one would think.

The core is basically jingling keys in front of him and telling him to look at them.

Firstly, why is the sky hallucination sus? could it just be his own mind?

Her guiding him to her book and later showing up next to the shimmer addict could be explained as just his conscious.

However, he also woke up to her screams and it was her voice that guided him to the addicts, both things go beyond what could manifest only from his own perception of things.

Not only that, this is the exact place where he later cocoons himself again. So it's no accident he ended up here.

It's also good to note how Viktors saw her differently then how she was, he sees him as a more idolised version of herself, which is als a good indication that she is not real.

But then in act 2 she appeals completely harmless, she doesn't push him into anything, and it looks like she offers some sense of emotional support.

And that's the point, it's feeding into viktors weaknesses as a person, all it needs to do, is give him the illusion of company, and keep him in his head.

Viktor was always a loner, but he also seeked out second opinions and he was in fact very lonely and wished for company.

This is exactly what the core is giving him the illusion of. A second opinion and company.

By herself “sky” does not offer any new information to viktor, she is either stathing things he is already aware of, things viktor thinks she would say, or reassures him.

“She liked me, she would be concerned about me!”

“I remember telling her that once!”

“She was caring, she would be upset at someone's death!”

In fact, it might even try to distract him from the important things, we don't see a lot of it, but the moment Viktor starts to wonder what's up with Jayce, she attempts to move his thoughts elsewhere from thinking about what is wrong with him.

Viktors perception of the world is fundamentally changed, this is already pretty isolating but now he has a mind buddy! He's Not alone anymore, there's someone who talks to him, who cares about him, who he can share ideas with,

someone who loves him.

I'm going to concede, I do think their relationship has a romantic undertone, if for nothing else it's because viktors perception of sky is pretty heavily defined by her love letters to him.

Regardless of your reading (how much do you think he reciprocates that), it is giving him the company he wished for.

Why is that bad?

It's because it keeps him docile, and so far up his own 4ss that he doesn't realise how messed up what he is actually doing is. He is stuck with his own regurgitated thoughts.

The only thing he ever gets is reassurance that what he is doing is in fact good, he doesn't have an outside perspective on what's happening with him or around him.

He doesn't have the head space to self reflect cuz something always chimes in, always keeps him thinking, solving problems, solving puzzles.

We never once saw him actively trying to talk to any of his followers, the only people who he does are not affected by him, and come to him directly, he didn't even bother seeking out Jayce himself.

The only way he communicates with them is when he wants to do his creepy puppet thing and if the only thing left in his followers head is gratitude towards him and he never examines what it did to them as people, no wonder he doesn't notice a thing.

He just unquestionably spreads the core's influence.

No wonder the first awful idea anyone gave him in who knows how long that isn't his own stuck with him.

He always had a tendency to get sucked into his work and dont bother with people (ironically that is one of the reasons sky got dusted) and don't bother with anything else, and now the conditions are orchestrated for this to basically keep him in his own head.

He doesn't really care about his followers either, he watched one of them get smashed and didn't give a damn.

He doesn't care for them as people, they are more akin to problems he can solve and move on. He was barely even bothered about Jayce's condition, probably assuming he will come to him and he can fix him right away.

We can see this in his visions of how he conceptualizes himself, he looks very human, and yet he got these unsettling yellow eyes. He is blind to the ways he changed, just look at how he acts in them.

At first glance he appears a lot more emotive and it also tells us that he is fairly enjoying himself and his new perception of the world but also the main thing we see of him is his endless curiosity about things, not his empathy towards them.

He is well meaning of course, but he doesn't/cant reflect enough to see what he is really doing. Namely taking away the things he saw in these people, their dreams.

And he constantly has problems to solve, we saw how many people went to him, he always has something to think about, and he always has someone to talk to about it without needing to waste precious time on seeking out a second opinion.

In s1 he barely reacted to the beginning of a civil war going around him, now people depend on him and in the middle of a civil war he doesn't have any way of protecting these people.

He barely gives a damn about him slowly deteriorating. He doesn't live in reality anymore. He cannot see the forest for the trees. (though he might have had some plans we don't know of, since Salo was gathering materials for him.)

And his guilt just amplifies this.

From s1 one of his strongest traits was how much he believed if he gets the right tools, and the opportunity, he can help people.

“Do you think my life ambition is to be an assistant?”

“If you are going to change the world don't ask for permission.”

“All I did was believe in myself.”

This is what skys death puts into question.

This is why he almost jumped afterwards, this fundamental belief in himself was put into question. He got the chance to do what he wanted and someone died.

This is where his guilt comes into play, he isn't making his own dream a reality, we saw that what he really wanted is to give people tools that they can use to create, but that's not what he is doing.

He is doing what he believes Skye's dream was.

It doesn't even look like he invents things anymore, he just mostly uses his powers and studies botanics. (tho we saw Salo steal some stuff for him so he might have some plans that we don't know yet?)

This is even the context he brought her up to jayce: she had such dreams.

From her notes we can assume she hoped to help make a zaun that is cleaner and more connected to nature.

This is the reason why he is so receptive to skyes positive affirmation, its because in his head he is correcting his wrong, her affirmation and forgiveness gave him back the belief that he can still do good.

Now he has the right tools and the opportunity to do it, so he won't fail again.

He is literally wearing her symbol on his clothes.

He is doing this out of some kind of repentance for his sins.

So the way he sees it: he is helping these people, who on they own free will just happen to stay here cuz its nice and he conveniently can puppet them if needed, he doesn't question that cuz he never bothers to talk to them and skys happy and she talks to him so why bother when no one sees the world like he does.

What he doesn't realise is that he is pretty much meant to die there.

There's a reason why his palace was builded here, he literally got told to build it there. It was there so he could die and cocoon himself again.

When he first saw jayce and encountered the singularity, he was literally describing himself.

“self annihilating and replicating” That's him, this entity is connected to him, he is meant to die and be reborn over and over again. He might not completely embody it yet, but he is a product of it. (and he will probably gonna try to harness it, that's what the beginning of ep 6 set up.)

I don't think he expected jayce to shoot him, when he saw what he was going to do he looked pretty shocked, but he was intentionally kept docile by the core basically guaranteeing that even actually he will die out.

And then he had the audacity to conclude it must have happened cuz people just suck.

He tried nothing to prevent this and he is already out of options.

To his defense he was probably really lost in the sauce at this point.

This is also why he was making his following, he was supposed to draw power from them after he dies so he can be reborn again.

This also means that singed and ambessa are probably interfering with this process.

It would explain why he looks so wrong in the poster.

In conclusion, the core keeps Viktor in a mind state where he is docile enough not to question what's happening around him using his already existing flaws against him in order to spread itself.

One last thing I would like to add is that I don't think this will be his final transformation, I believe the final one will either happen at the top of the hex gate or at the bottom of it.

[reborrowing]

a strange appearance, part two

how does everyone write 800 gt first meetings? it's the worst. there's dialogue and a sense of anxiety that bleeds into self-doubt about what I'm doing.

Stranger Swap Masterpost | ao3 First | Prev | Next Val talks themself through an anxiety attack, Phoebe gets herself in trouble. Word Count: ~2400 cws: anxiety attack, unreality, reference to past abuse. nonsexual nudity? that seems bizarre to warn for in text, idk if it's needed, but it's addressed here taglist: @whumpsday

Val froze mid-step as something fell to the floor back in the bedroom. A second later, their ears flicked as they caught a long groan from the renter. Val was so freaked out they couldn’t recognize the sound and struggled to pick what new problem it might represent.

Was the renter coming out? Was she herself again? Something new? The thud was louder than Val would expect even the most clumsy borrower child to make from a fall, but it had been decidedly more singular than human footsteps. 

Val didn’t want to deal with her. They didn’t even want to think about her, their head was already full worrying about what to do next. Every other times things had gotten this bad for them, somebody else had loomed over them with exacting instructions on how best to appease the danger. Now, the choice was their own and the freedom was paralyzing.

They paced past the front door, dimly aware that they could leave, very conscious of having nowhere to go. They felt as cornered as before they’d blacked out and as trapped as the last time they’d been caught. The ceiling was too low and the walls pressed in like a box that was sure to rip open any second for a pair of prodding, grabbing hands.

The renter started yelling at them again and for a moment it fuelled the illusion. She was distant and muffled, the same as if they were separated by a sheet of cardboard instead of drywall.

They needed to hide, but they kept pacing. They couldn’t hide like this. They turned the corner into the kitchen, too wide, and bumped their hip against the table. Val flinched as the table jumped forward, as if it were some mere object and not an immutable fact of the apartment’s landscape. They swallowed the scream clawing up their throat.

At least their headache was gone. They paused to hold onto the thought. They probably weren’t going to die of the flu later this week. For a few seconds, things didn’t feel progressively worse. 

“I know you’re still there, dude! Why can’t you come back and tell me what’s going on?”

Val groaned as they were knocked back into the anxiety spiral.

I don’t know what this is either!

What they did know, they didn’t want to tell her, because what would happen when this…whatever sorted itself out? They already had more than their share of experience explaining their existence to humans and no one ever took the news well. The best outcome Val had gotten so far had started with a week in a garishly colored cage. 

Val wasn’t willing to consider the possibility that this was going to be permanent.

They looped through the front room twice more, pulling and clawing at their skin the whole time. They were barely breathing and they couldn’t tell if their ribs were too heavy now or if it was from the weight of their fear.

They needed to calm down. They made themself acknowledge that this was new, that it was different, and that they weren’t actually in any immediate danger. They would survive. They were afraid, but that was true as often as not. They just needed to get through this.

A shrill noise jerked Val out of their thoughts. The renter again, this time less demanding and more urgent. Val sighed. As much as they didn’t want to deal with her, they should probably make sure she got through this too, with or without any answers.

They stepped into the bedroom with more apprehension than usual. They hadn’t outgrown the compulsion to stay out of sight and now they were also worried about what they could do to her accidentally. That had always been one of the more horrifying aspects of living amongst giants, that they could be so destructive without a breath of awareness.

The room was dimly lit with curtains still drawn closed over the morning sun. Val started to itch. They didn’t see her yet. The unmade bed was empty. Their eyes got lost in the mazes of clutter they’d been so thankful for over the past few months. She noticed them first and shouted, finally drawing their attention to a quivering pinkish blur hanging off the sheet near the head of the bed.

“Are you alright?” Val asked uneasily.

“Obviously not? Help?” 

She twisted awkwardly to look at them. It was uncanny. They could barely make out her features from here without squinting and still their fur stood on end in response to being seen.

 “What do you want me to do? Climb back up,” Val said.

She groaned, sounding winded.

“I’m not much of a climber.”

“Slide down, then? It’s not far. You could just fall.”

She looked down and the sheet swayed. Her grip tightened until she was hugging the fabric with her whole body.

“It’s like a twenty-something foot drop!”

Val frowned, pinching their brows together. THey didn’t know how that kind of conversion should work, but they were good and familiar with jumping off various pieces of the furniture in a hurry. Falling off the bed wasn’t pleasant, but it also wasn’t dangerous, even from the mattress top. 

“Oh my god just help me, I cannot be that heavy!” she yelled, shrill and urgent once again.

“Okay, okay!”

Val shuffled further into the room, tensing as they got closer and closer to the shrunken renter. They watched her the whole time, as if they expected her to give up whatever trick this was and charge them.

She didn’t.

They stepped on something (horrific) as they went to kneel down behind her. They nudged it out from underneath them and their chest tightened even further as they realized it was her phone. It definitely hadn’t been there when they woke up, which meant it was probably the thud they’d heard earlier.

They wished they’d paid more attention to exactly what she was yelling while they had indulged their anxiety. They had assumed it was all directed at them. She could’ve called anyone. Someone could be on the way right now. Their throat went dry as they quietly shoved the phone under the dresser and hoped it wouldn’t be a problem.

They just needed to get through this.

The renter was enough to worry about without imagining things she might have done.

Val bit their lip and pinched the sheet to drag her back onto the mattress. She flailed and squawked in alarm, demanding Val just grab her. They let go and their hands hovered around her uncertainly for several seconds. She looked so breakable.

“You actually want me to…? Um…here. You can let go now, I’ll catch you,” Val said, settling their right hand against the side of the mattress just below her.

She let go and a strange sort of vertigo hit Val so hard they felt dizzy. They could see the room from two angles at once, the apartment as they knew it and the apartment that they were seeing, superimposed. She landed in their palm and struggled to find their balance on the meaty platform. On Val’s hand. They froze. They felt the dread of seeing someone caught in a giant’s palm and couldn’t process the impulse to help while the palm was their own.

**

It was a relief to be standing again, even if the ground wasn’t so solid. She leaned against their index finger to catch their breath and noticed they didn’t have any fingerprints. It wasn’t like they’d been scarred off somehow, they were just…not there. Their skin was thick and leathery, dotted with calluses, but flat. Smooth. Like a dog’s paw. She made another mental tally mark under the alien? column in her speculation about the stranger. 

They moved like something human. They had a slight tremor that kept her from finding her balance. Familiar muscles slid together as they cupped their palm to keep her from falling and she could feel the tendon sliding beneath her feet as they cupped moved their finger to accommodate her. She eagerly took it as another sign that this was a dream. She’d been reviewing anatomy the day before, of course it would bleed into her sleep.

It was one of the coolest things she’d ever seen. She was surrounded by details she’d normally only notice with an accompanying text, the sort of thing she had to memorize to use. She wondered if the rest of the intruder felt the same as a human or if her subconscious would fall short the same way it had for generating fingerprints. It kept her mind too occupied to think about being held a few stories off the ground by a complete stranger. 

She looked up, past their scarred chest. As soon as she met their eyes, the alien(?) looked away and abruptly brought her back to the mattress top, practically throwing her against the pillow. She still couldn't even guess at what their problem was.

Phoebe found her balance and caught her breath, then looked back up. She thought it might be easier to talk to them if she were to flop onto her back, their face was so far up there, but that felt rude. She didn’t want to scare them off again. She settled for leaning against the pillow as she craned back.

“Thank you. I know you don’t like me, or are afraid of me. Or something. Thanks for coming back to help anyway,” she said.

They frowned.

“I don’t—”

“You literally ran out of the room with your tail tucked between your legs when you saw me earlier. Which, what? What are you, anyway?”

The tail in question twitched and curled around the stranger’s leg. She watched it quiver for a moment then looked back up to catch the stranger chewing on their lip.

“I—It doesn’t matter, does it? I mean, no, it doesn’t matter,” they said, trying to force a firmer tone. “I’m Val, I—sorry, this is weird, all of it, but I—I’m kind of stuck here and you felt like you’re freezing. You should worry about taking care of yourself, not interrogating me.”

She held back a laugh. Interrogate. They really were afraid of her. Phoebe couldn’t imagine what they expected her to do. Nip their toe? They’d just casually saved her from the equivalent of falling off a roof. She supposed she could yell at them until they got so nervous they left the room again, but that seemed pointless.

They obviously weren’t interested in hurting her, whatever their problem was, or else they already would have (or even just let her hurt herself). She may as well trust them. It felt better than just sitting here alone.

“It is cold in here. Maybe you could turn on the heater, now that you’re helping? I’d put on a sweater, but, well,” she said, gesturing down at herself.

Val narrowed their eyes and Phoebe’s resolve swayed. That sick feeling bubbled up. She backed up against the pillow for support, but Val stayed where they were. (Which, she realized, felt a lot farther than it was. She was still within their arm’s reach, if they wanted to do anything.)

“You’re so calm about this, are you sure you don’t know what’s going on? Or maybe it’s the other way around. You do get that you’re only a few inches tall?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m dreaming,” Phoebe admitted.

Val inhaled sharply.

“I wish I believed that. No, this is real.”

Phoebe laughed to sidestep the panic that lapped at her heels.

No, it isn’t. This is a dream. It has to be, because this is impossible, because it doesn’t make any sense, because I almost got myself killed doing something mundane and stupid just trying to check my phone and I know I’m going to do it again if I have to stay like this. It’s a dream.

“If you say so,” she said, deciding not to argue. She doubted there was proof one way or the other.

They asked if she had any old pillowcases she didn’t mind losing—in case this wasn’t a dream, they said. She pointed them to a stack of old pillowcases in the hall closet and sat down to wait. They didn’t ask about scissors or hair ties or any other tools they might’ve used, but came back just a few minutes later with a tiny, rough circle dress and a black elastic belt. 

Dream.

Val was careful to set it down slowly, several inches away from her. She rolled her eyes. Their slow, cautious movements evaporated as she stepped closer. They leapt back so quickly it left the bed shaking. They reminded her of an old-timey cartoon seeing a mouse, just missing the house dress and apron.

“You know,” Phoebe said, “You might want to get dressed too, even if you’re not cold. It’s kind of awkward to stare past your junk while we talk, especially if you want me to think this isn’t a dream. It’s pretty surreal.”

They started stammering again and their tail curled around their leg. Definitely surreal—they were the size of a building, but everything about their movement was perfectly fluid and organic. She knew that they weren’t actually at a scale where that should be strange, but her heart still jumped when she saw it.

“I mean, if this is how your …species? …people? I don’t know. If you’re normally nude, I can get used to it. We can forget I said anything. It feels pretty tame next to the whole eighty-foot demon thing,” she said.

“You think I’m a demon?”

They sounded incredulous, as if it weren’t a natural conclusion to make out of tail, fangs, and weird eyes. She crossed it off the list of possibilities. Maybe solving a mystery would let her out of the dream.

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to offend. But, if you’re stuck here like you said, you might as well make yourself at home. Take whatever from my closet,” she said. Then, quieter, “I assume you’re here to rob me, anyway.”

They made an expression she couldn’t quite read. It was uncomfortable and suspicious, but so was every other face she’d seen them make. As they thanked her, a corner of their mouth quirked upward. It was so slight that she wasn’t sure she’d have noticed if their face wasn’t a billboard. They thought they were getting away with something, to be sure.

But for now, she was going to insist that this was a dream and they probably weren't going to hurt her anyways.

[floped]

high school crush woes

I wonder if you would care if I was gone. When I post I do it in hopes you'll see it. I dont know why I'm so hung up on you. You're just a pretty face, that's all you should be. A part of me thinks Id grow to hate you if we were together. Even then I want to pick you apart to see if there are any feelings behind the cold exterior you always front. I dont know why my feelings have grown, we don't talk anymore and even when we did it was mostly about you. You're selfish. You went on an on about yourself but would it have killed you to ask about me, the things I enjoy? I felt like you tried to impress me but maybe Im desperate and grasping at straws. At any indicator that showed you cared about me. You who clearly has no taste for fashion who cycles through the same 3 sweaters would stay up till dawn to comment on the dresses I would send you, even when you had to be up early for your dance lessons. You sent me pictures and videos of you showing off you 6-pack and while it was very impressive why would you send that to me If you weren't interested. Now that I think back, it been almost a year since then. I've grown so much but you keep a part of me stagnate. I think about you an unhealthy amount. If you knew you would probably be concerned. God I feel like a loser. Im a bad friend too. My friend liked you and you knew that, you rejected her but continued with your awkward middle school friendship until you ghosted her the next school year. I know this but I still like you and I know its wrong. At the same time since it was a while ago I feel like it should be okay. You never dated. I feel like she still has feelings for you or at least wants some type of closure. She has no idea I feel this way for you or that we talked for a bit. I'm scared that it might change our friendship and I cherish her. By the way you and her used to talk I bet you liked her. She's pretty, skinny, and smart-the holy trinity. Its not like I'm ugly but like any highschooler Im saddled with insecurity. I dress up on days we have class together and on days we dont in the hopes we randomly cross paths. I remember I came in the building and I saw you were walking to class. Even thought we have the same one we never get their at the same time. My heart fluttered as I rushed to get closer. I stayed behind you walking up three flights of stairs and holding my breath, I dont know if you knew If I was behind you but just being near you was enough. Its crazy I feel this way when I cant remember the last time I even spoke to you. I wish I could enter your brain just for a moment to figure out what you thought of me, a failed talking stage or something more. I was the one who ended up "Ghosting you" I dont even think it counts I just stopped initiating conversations and you just stopped. That really broke my heart but I guess I should have known better. I know I deserve better but theirs no one around me who is. I know Im young but Im sick of feeling unlovable. Since Its hard to come up to you and start a conversation Ill just sit by you and glance a couple times. Maybe more than a couple times but I dont think you even noticed. You always seem so wrapped up in your little world, which I find kind of endearing. Im always making a joke or talking and its ironic I would be this down bad for someone whose my exact opposite. If we're in the same room lll say any joke a little louder for you to hear, I looked over once and I saw a smile on your face followed by a chuckle. Blood rushed to my face but thankfully I had blush on. I secretly hope you stumble upon this even though you're definitely not on tumblr. This is my way of saying everything I cant to you. I love that you play piano, you played in front of me once and I thought it was beautiful. You said you would send me a video of you playing but you never did. I wonder if you think about that. I know you wont reciprocate my feelings, your probably not even aware of them, but I hope to find someone who looks at me the way I look at you, someone who thinks of me the way I think of you, and loves you the way I do

[mazeinthemiroh]

familiar stranger

Genre: One-shot, Hongjoong x Reader, fluff, hurt

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: None

Requested?: Yes

Synopsis: Hongjoong is reunited with an old friend on a bus ride home. In such unlikely circumstances, it's no wonder he gets caught up the magic of it all.

Author's Notes: This got personal guys omg anyways I hope you enjoy, this hurt me to write this because I was in my FEELS. I know it's shorter than other fics, but I'm lowkey proud of this one and I really hope yall enjoy this as much as I do. Please tell me what you think and enjoy! <3

"Y/N?"

You hadn't heard that voice in years. And yet, as the soundwaves flowed in your direction and the vibrations of sound hit your ear in a way that they always would, a familiarity came upon you. This voice was familiar. It was a voice that curled around your heart and tugged at the strings. A voice of nostalgia, of wistfulness, of better times. A voice which, in its softness, had undertones of playful sparks, and notes of dark intrigue.

Yes, you knew exactly who this voice belonged to.

He had entered the bus you were on not moments ago. It was unlikely for Hongjoong to take the bus. But circumstances had it that he had to, and considering the time of night it was, it was unlikely a friend could pick him up. So here he was, 10:43 pm, on an almost empty bus.

"Hongjoong? Is that you?" There was a joyous surprise in your voice that made Hongjoong's heart flutter. He grinned brightly as he walked to you with a steady stride, gripping a metal bar on his way to stabilise himself. The bus was weaving.

"How have you been?"

He decided to sit in the seat in front of you. Of course, he turned his whole body around to speak to you, resulting in what looked like a completely uncomfortable position. He was still very close, but not in the same, personal way as if indicated if he sat right next to you. After all, he hadn't seen you in years. There was a gap between the time you had spent together versus the time you had spent apart. Separate paths, separate lives. It was a large gap indeed.

"I," you are at a loss for words. The suddenness of the situation made you feel dizzy, and your vision clarifying his perfect, smiling features made you all the more flustered. "I've been good, I've been good. How are you doing these days?"

It felt like such a casual affair. Like you had just seen each other yesterday. You both found it odd that, in the novelty of each other's much-missed company, neither of you felt awkward or struggled to find things to say. It was as if no time passed at all, between you both. It was a special quality which so few companions share.

As your conversations continued, the bus stopped interchangeably, and little by little, the few people that were on the bus slowly disappeared. Neither of you noticed.

"It's been, what? How many years since I've seen you? 3 or 4? Wow, maybe even longer than that..." Hongjoong had trailed off in thought as if trying to perfectly calculate the exact date. You couldn't help but watch and admire him. He had certainly grown up since then. A fine young man, a handsome one too. There was a contentedness about him; a quiet confidence that he exuded without obnoxiously making it known to the rest of the world. He was secure in himself, and where he was at this stage in his life. All this was incredibly attractive.

"You've grown up since then," you smiled adoringly, not aware of the sparkle in your eye when you gazed at him. But he noticed.

"I mean look at you, you're famous now!" You giggled, "an international superstar!"

He chuckled shyly and weaved a hand through his hair, "Superstar is a bit of a stretch but-"

"No don't be silly! You're too humble," you teased and reached out to poke his side. All he could muster was a grin.

"Well," he mumbled, "there's still a lot I need to work on. A lot of things to worry about. It's not all it's cracked up to be, sometimes." Suddenly the passionate spark in his eyes faded away, and he lowered his gaze in a serious manner. Handsome looks aside, he did look tired. That's a fact you couldn't deny. There was so much you wanted to know, so much you wanted to say to him all out once. To reassure him. To make him feel better. To help him cope.

But there was nothing you could do. You'd been out of his life for so long; it wasn't in your place.

So for a few moments, you sat in silence. The bus bobbed along, moving your bodies from side to side with each progression forward.

For a moment you felt like you didn't know him. The person he had become was different to the one you had known. But you wanted to get to know him. Wanted to be a part of his life again.

"I bet it can be hard at times," you dared to brush your hand over his shoulder, a physical reassurance he didn't know he need. "And I know this is gonna sound like an empty promise but... if there's anything I can do for you. I'm here. I know we haven't seen each other in forever but... I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you need a... familiar stranger. I'm here."

Because that is what you felt like. A familiar stranger. A person whose essence was once known but now has become obscure by the fields of time. But sometimes people need that type of person in their life.

Hongjoong's voice was soft, almost melodic: "Ahh, you're no stranger Y/N," he offered a kind smile enough to make your heart melt.

"But you're a good friend."

As you both gazed into each other eyes, you both wondered how you had ever coped without each other in your lives. How bewildering it was that life simply moved on without the presence of the other. It felt poetically devastating.

The bus ground to a final halt. You had no idea where you were.

"Is this your stop?"

"Nope."

"Same..."

After a brief pause, you both burst into tremendous laughter. The hilarity of the situation felt surreal. There you were, two functioning adults who had been functioning separately for all these years, and yet both equally capable of being unaware of time. Unaware of their place in the world. Unaware of their bus stops.

"Well, I'll guess we'll have to get off anyway. Taxi?"

"Good idea."

Shuffling off the bus as the laughter fizzled out, you both stood under the light of the lamp post, scuffing your shoes on the pavement and tapping your toes in the puddles below.

Two separate taxis came. One for you, one for him

"Well," you feared what he would say next, "I guess this is goodbye." It was said so casually and yet there was a definite sadness glimmering in his eyes.

"Yes," you replied. "For now."

Both of you reached out for a hug. It felt like everything longing could've been. A hug so pure and wistful and nostalgic and sentimental that it meant more to you than the rest of the life you would live without him. And him without you. But as he tried to draw away, your persistence to not let go was what made him stay. You felt silly, getting emotional over a special someone that, minutes ago you wouldn't have even been thinking about.

"Sorry," you cursed yourself inwardly for the tremor in your voice as you pulled away, revealing to Hongjoong your misty eyes, "I just don't want to say goodbye."

What you wanted to say was I miss you. What you wanted to say was I want you back in my life. It was all too painful.

Hongjoong chuckled lightly. It was a type of chuckle that wasn't mocking, but rather of understanding. His eyes were full of yearning.

"We'll meet again," his lips pulled up in a perfect smile. You liked the certainty in his voice. The assertive decision that, yes, this wasn't over. It didn't have to be over. Not now. Not again.

You watched as he got into his taxi and waved from inside. You watched as he left you standing in the light of the lamppost.

All you could do was watch helplessly from the pathway as his taxi disappeared from you. Out of sight, out of your life once more.

"We better meet again, Kim Hongjoong."

[samisonehotman]

𝐅𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 & 𝐅𝐥𝐞𝐞 — 11:10PM

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Colby Brock / Reader

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: "Don't Shut Me Out." / You take off into the Vegas desert after you and Colby get into a fight

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: Angst / SFW

𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬: 30 Day Masterlist

Vegas in the winter was miserable. It got below 'holy fuck it's cold' after sundown and left every breathing thing wishing it'd just catch hypothermia and die. And that exact thing led you to starting a tiny little fire nestled against a boulder.

You and Colby had gotten into one of the nastiest fights so far, leading him to storm off further into the townhouse yelling some rude nonsense about how 'being your best friend was so difficult'. In turn, you walked right out the front door and slammed it extra hard just to send a message. One road led to another, and another brought you to the middle of absolutely fucking nowhere. Paved road had turned to dirt, and you had found yourself hidden away in a field filled with sizeable rocks and bushes.

The silence stretched far back behind your little nook, quite literally not a single sound more than the crackling of fire. And, on top of that, the fire was— obviously— only able to really warm one side of you. You were honestly very shocked that there had been no emotion the moment you slammed the door. Up until this point, sitting in the dust, you had felt... nothing, honestly. Your phone sat screen up in the dirt, fire reflecting off the screen to make a little square of orange. You had done so good about handling your feelings and expressing them: and now, seeing Colby's contact pop up on your phone screen as it rang, broke you.

At first the tears were slow. One pattered onto your thigh, soaked up by your jeans. Then, two and three heavy, thick drops fell. The damn broke, and you went from emotionless to sobbing in the middle of a field, cold, lonely and hurt. The incessant ringing cut off, and you were left in the near silence again.

After some time that you didn't keep track of, headlights pulled up a distance behind you. It didn't garner a reaction. It was Colby, nobody else would be all the way out here; and especially not for you. Silently, he sat down in the dirt next to you. "Your location was still on Life360." He whispers, his own voice hoarse. You don't even acknowledge him. "Don't shut me out." Colby says, nudging your shoulder with his.

"I didn't know my habits bothered you so much." Finally, after several long minutes, you speak. Colby stares at the fire, "They don't. I was just angry and said things I shouldn't." You lean against his shoulder, head tipped to rest in the crook of his neck. His head lays on yours, and you smile for the first time all night. "I'm sorry." He apologizes. while he doesn't elaborate, you don't expect nor want him to. And you weren't apologizing; you weren't at fault.

Colby convinces you to get up and get in your car, eventually. It's some time very late into the night, cold and dark. You follow him home— after kicking the fire out— and even though you park second, you're in the house first. Before you can march up to your room, a hand grabs your arm and spins you. "I don't think apologizing is enough." Colby says, holding you close. You sigh. It'll be rocky for the next few days.

Tired eyes blink, long. Weary brain finally losing its emotional adrenaline, you're hardly aware you're moving until you're hyperaware of being in your best friend's bed. "Why can't I be in my bed?" You ask, voice cracking. "You're freezing. I'm worried." Colby bites back, and he's right; you can't feel your digits and there's a subtle but firm tremble to your body. So you let him crawl in and pull you close, and he lets you leech off your body heat. You start crying again, at some point. In the dark, in your best friend's bed, in his arms. He shushes you, hand softly stroking your hair. You feel emotionally broken, fighting with Colby had drawn so much energy.

"We'll talk in the morning, go to sleep." Colby whispers when your cold hands clutch onto his shirt, trying to ground your body raked with sobs. He doesn't try to make the tears go away, just holds you close and whispers sweet nonsense you only catch occasionally. "I hope you never try to shut me out." He murmurs, right before you fall asleep.

[luvxiem]

venus of urbino

word count ! ~1.1k pairing ! luca x gn!art student!reader genre ! college au fluff (literally just me gushing over how pretty he is) summary ! luca has the exact physique that you envisioned for your next painting (inspired by his latest tweet)

"are you sure this is this alright?" luca asks nervously. he's fidgeting on the velvety armchair, unsure how to arrange his limbs that suddenly feel too long and too burly and too tough. it's not as if the blonde isn't aware of his own body; luca knows he's fit—he's worked hard for these muscles—but he wouldn't consider himself, well, pretty. aren't models supposed to be pretty?

"yes, i'm sure," you respond, not even looking up from where you were preparing your canvas and easel. preoccupied with finding your favorite red color pencil, you don't notice luca's restless squirming. his pants were left on but you had asked he remove his shirt for the duration of the day. a gold choker sat heavy around his neck and the layered pearl necklace he wore kept shifting with every small movement he made, the lowest pearls resting a few inches above his stomach. a sheer white shawl draped over only his right shoulder leaving his left side's tattoos on display. on his ears sat large golden cuffs reminiscent of a hummingbird's wings, and his usual side-pony was let down for the afternoon. needless to say, it was very different from his usual attire.

luca was too far in his own head to realize that you had finished setting up and let out a small yelp when he glanced toward your easel only to see your face directly in front of his. you tilt your head seeing his reaction but decide not to comment on it, more concerned with positioning him to suit your needs best.

"is it alright if i just…" your voice trails off as you reach for his arm, meeting his gaze imploring for permission. luca swallows tightly and gives you a terse nod, and you take the green light and go.

the feeling of your fingers on his bare skin is electrifying. you arrange his body meticulously—stepping back to look at him before bending his elbow just the slightest bit more, gently applying pressure on his shoulder so that he twists his torso. you instruct him for what feels like hours until you're satisfied and luca's never been more nervous in his life. he tries to look for you when you retreat back to your station, but a sharp "don't move" has him grimacing and returning to his original position.

the sun is shining directly in his face through the windowsill he's sat in front of so he slips his eyes shut, blonde lashes resting delicately against his cheekbones. in the light his hair looks as golden as the jewelry that adorns his body, almost glowing in the empty studio the two of you are situated in. letting out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in, luca melts into the admittedly comfortable chair, tense muscles relaxing giving him an overall softer look. the chill of the air conditioning is negated by the heat of your stare on him; luca felt as if he would burst into flames with the intensity of your analyzing gaze.

"pretty…" you mumble, transfixed by the almost ethereal moment before you. luca startles at the sound of your voice, having now gone a full half hour without hearing you say a thing. he knows better than to move, but the blush sitting high on his cheeks is more than enough to let you know he heard your moment of weakness.

really, the whole thing was a ploy to get some alone time with your crush. sure, the two of you hang out sometimes but it's always with your mutual friends, never alone. unfortunately you were too shy to ask him out on a regular old day so when your professor assigned this project you thanked the universe for giving you a valid excuse. really, you're killing two birds with one stone here. still, that doesn't mean you're suddenly brave behind the art student mask.

"sorry," you wince. "didn't mean to say that out loud. violet eyes glance at you before darting away in embarrassment.

"it's fine," luca reassures, although he's praying you didn't hear the way his voice cracked just a bit. "just not used to hearing that is all."

at his words you look up at him in confusion. there's no way you heard him correctly. hesitantly, you open your mouth to ask.

"you're really pretty, you know that, right?" the pink on his cheeks deepen into a rather lovely red as he struggles to come up with an adequate reply.

"i'm not pretty, i'm manly!" the blonde tries to argue. you stubbornly shake your head.

"seriously luca, you're one of the most gorgeous guys i know. resident pretty boy, even," and god does the way you say his name send a shiver down his spine. sure, he hears his name being called all the time but it's different when you say it. it just is. he's been hesitant to accept the compliment—stuck in denial of his supposed beauty when he's always been delegated to one of the bros—but the way you're looking at him right now with clear adoration in your eyes makes luca feel like the most beautiful man alive.

"thank you," he mumbles, unable to meet your gaze any longer lest he combust on the spot. seeing this as the white flag that it is, you let out a content hum as you return your attention to your canvas, focusing on getting the values right with your pencil before you begin painting later that week.

another hour passes before it gets too dark to work any longer. you thank luca for his time and collect the jewelry and shawl into a travel case as he sips on water. before you could leave through the door, he reaches out to grasp your elbow causing you to turn on your heel in confusion. luca quickly releases you but fidgets in place, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks everywhere but you. ignoring the obvious heat radiating from his face, he takes a deep breath and steels himself, meeting your gaze head on.

"would you be interested in doing this again, sometime?" he asks hopefully. "hanging out together, i mean." your eyes widen in surprise before you smile happily, nodding quickly.

"i would love to, luca," you reply, adjusting your bag on your shoulder.

"it's a date, then!" reaching forward, you intertwine your fingers with his for a moment before dropping your hands, a fluttering warmth blooming in your chest as well as his.

"it's a date, pretty boy."

WRITTEN ! 091622

[nishymoon]

hello! I'm the one who asked for the fluffy and hot Niragi x reader <3 and I quite like the idea, I would be very grateful if you do it.

Play With Me || Niragi x Reader

➸ Summary: You and your boyfriend Niragi are at a pool party and you decide to provocate him.

➸ Adverentence: Smut and Fluff, NSFW

➸ Note: This is the second time I write NSFW, I hope you will like it! In the end i decided to write it all in one chapter, let me know what you think, please!

♡♢♤♧

♡♢♤♧

Pool parties are always so boring for you, they always end the exact same way. Completely drunk people who fall asleep even before they manage to open the door to their room. You look around for your boyfriend, strangely he hasn't arrived yet. Very unusual of him. Grab a drink while you wait for him and you lean against one of the columns, fiddling with the straw of the glass between your fingers. When the murmurs stop and only pool music is audible, you know what's about to happen. The militants arrive, scattering around the pool as people whisper their names to each other. Niragi looks around, probably looking for you but tonight you decided to play with him and as soon as you heard their arrival, you hid behind the column. He pauses for a moment, checking every corner of the pool better, raising an eyebrow. It is not like you not to be present at a party...aware of his imminent arrival, moreover. He sits on one of the pool deckchairs with two other militants in front of him. They are talking to him about something but the murmuring of the people has resumed and you can't hear anything. But the way Niragi hastily keeps turning his head...you assume that they're talking about you. You decide to make your entrance, walking on the catwalk of the swimming pool as if you were doing a fashion show. Niragi's eyes light up as soon as they see you and a victorious smile appears on his lips. You like the way he looks at you, he makes you feel special, unique. - Here you are, Sweetness, we were just wondering where you had gone. - He grabs your hand as soon as you get close to the deck chair, forcing you to sit into his knees. As if you are his most precious treasure than him and he wants to show you to the whole world. You crouch on top of him with your just started drink still in hand. Feel his hand make its way between your legs, grabbing them to push you closer to him, moving more and more towards your thigh. - You know I missed you, right? I dedicated my victory to you tonight...- He gives you a kiss on your cheek while with the other hand he touches your head, stroking you. The militants in front of you nod at his statement as if to say "oh yes, he really did!". You smile, he can be very sweet when he wants to. - What is it, won't you answer me? Aren't you happy to see me? - He bites your cheek by taking his hand off your thigh and grabbing you by the chin, forcing you to look at him. You look him straight in the eye and you notice them extremely... sweet. The grip on your chin softens, moving towards your cheek. He strokes you slowly, resting his forehead against yours. - Hey...I'm serious, I missed you so much ...- - I also missed you so much...don't stay so long away from me anymore. - You lean forward to kiss him and he was waiting for nothing else, you feel the grip in your hair tighten. He kisses you back immediately, biting your bottom lip just enough to make you wince on top of him. You look down to look at your drink. You lift it up and bring it closer to your face. - Do you want to taste it? It is really very good! - He watches you amused as you take the straw between your lips... you have a different look in your eyes now. The thing you do next makes his eyes widen in pure amazement... you start twirling your tongue to move the straw. Once you were a much more timid person....his presence must have changed you. And he doesn't mind that. - Do you want to play, Princess? You know we have to be good in public or Hatter will come and scold us again...and my Boss too. - You look up at him, abandoning the straw that was "enjoying" the warmth of your mouth. You're defying him. You are provoking him. And he's loving you and hating you at the same time right now. Hating because he can't pick you up here on this deckchair and teach you a good lesson. - Play with me, Niragi. - - Babydoll, be a good girl, otherwis- - But you don't, of course, you want him to play with you. Because you are playing with him and you are loving him. And all the

determination makes its way inside you, you want to provoke it all the way. You pour the drink on yourself, wetting part of your body and your bathing suit. The eyes of the two militants seated still in front of you open wide, emitting an unintelligible sound due to the loud music. Niragi stares at you, his face changes completely, becomes more serious and for a moment you are afraid of having made him angry. He brings you down from above him, jerking up and grabbing you by the wrist. He start to walks towards the room. He has a very fast pace and makes you almost stumble across the pool. You know where he is taking you. He quickly opens the door to his room as soon as you arrive, almost throwing you inside. Feel his hand grab your chin, squeezing it and pressing his lips against yours. You break away from him just to catch your breath and he never misses an opportunity to tell you something. - You want to play? Okay, Babydoll, let's play. - He pushes you onto the bed, making you lie down and you don't have time to touch the mattress that you already feel his tongue on your stomach, drinking what's left of your drink. His hot tongue versus his cold piering is the perfect mix to give you goosebumps. You also notice that his piercing tonight is...different, maybe bigger. - Mh, this drink is really good, you were right...- He continues to climb up to your neck. He bites you hard and you are sure this will leave its mark on you for a few days. Those are his specialty and you know that very well by now. He grabs your hair and pulls it, forcing you to bend your neck to give it more access. Feel its cold piercing against the skin of your neck. - I told you to be a good girl, Y/N and you didn't listen to me....- He growls at your neck and you smile victoriously because your plan has been successful. Not that you had any doubts about it, of course. He gets up and down quickly towards your costume panties and undoes them with such speed that for a second you don't even notice. You feel him open your legs and himself in front of your femininity. His strong grip keeps your legs wide apart for him as he brings his lips closer to your dripping core. - You are a bad girl. - You see him stick two fingers in his mouth and touch his piercing, you look at him confused, you don't understand. He usually he does not lost time, he immediately gets to work. Until you hear a buzz coming from his lips as he takes his fingers out of his mouth. And there you understand. The piercing vibrates. He grabs your thighs and brings your sex close to her tongue, pressing her piercing against your sweet flower. You open your eyes wide, arching your back at the cold but vibrant sensation. You can't help but squirm as your moans fill the room, you feel the pleasure growing inside you and Niragi squeezes you harder to keep you in that position. Feel his entire tongue on your womanhood and the tip of her tongue playing with your entrance. - Fuck Nira- I can't resist - All of this is way too much for you and you feel your orgasm growing faster and faster inside you. Niragi notices this and suddenly detaches from you making you scream in despair. You were so close. He turns off his piercing and doesn't even give you time to say something that flips you on your stomach, your butt high, completely exposed to him. You don't know how quickly he undressed but you feel his tip enter your wet femininity in the blink of an eye. He enters you with ease and waits for a few seconds before starting to move. He is always nice to you, he wants you to get used to him before fucking you like there's no tomorrow. You feel him push hard into you making him earn a scream. His thrusts are strong and fast, they are able to make your whole body jelly under him. You grasps the blankets firmly with your fingers as your moans continue to re-echo against the walls of that room. - Niragi please...I'm coming... - The only sentence you have managed to utter before your orgasm reaches you. He leans forward

grabbing you by the hair and forcing you to lift your head. - Me too, Sweetness. - He growls as his hair grip gets tighter and tighter. He leans even further above you, making you fully adhere to the marterasso below you. With more firm thrusts, he comes out of you and pours his orgasm on your back and your thighs. He pauses for a moment, watching his work as he catches his breath. He collapses beside you, reaching out to move your sweat-wet hair from your face. You're still a panting mess that he tries to look into his eyes despite your tiredness. You are so tender in his eyes. - I like when you provocate me Sweetness, you should do it more often...come on, let's go take a shower. - You try to get up with the little strength you have left but you feel her face approaching your cheek, kissing her noisily. - And remember...you are my person. -

♡♢♤♧

[fairytoge]

omg omg wait i have another idea,, inumaki wait an s/o who gives a lot of kisses and leaves lipstick stains 🫣

wrong lipstick ; inumaki toge

notes!!

I AM JEALOUS OF YOUR IDEAS >:((( they're so gooddddd ... but omg yes yes yes!

just a side note, whilst the reader wears lipstick, they are coded as gender-neutral!!

m.list

you and toge have been together for about three years, since you both met on your first day of your first year of going to tokyo jujutsu school

you both got, and get, along sososo well that it kind of scares the others and they used to have doubts that your admiration for each other was real

they're past that stage now and you and inumaki couldn't be happier that they are

anyway, you both are really familiar with each other because of the number of hours you spend together, and because of how much the two of you want to do things for one another

so toge is used to the fact that you like to give him loads of kisses and, if he was being honest, he couldn't be happier that you do!

mr clingy right here but srsly its so cute

anyway, seeing as you usually wear a lip stain, or just really durable lipstick, there aren't typically marks from the small pecks you give him

so when you pull back and snicker slightly, toge raises an eyebrow; only for you to unlock your phone and open your front-facing camera.

then, and only then, does he realise what was so funny

upon giving inumaki your phone so that he could inspect the sheer number of red stains littering his face, you couldn't suppress your giggles and your smile: finding the whole situation hilarious.

you may have planned it out, deciding to wear one of your most transferable lipsticks today rather than one of the mattifying ones. but it wasn't all your fault... okay, so maybe it was. still, as toge's flushed face continued to inspect the marks, you couldn't help but think that your plan was very much worth it.

redirecting his gaze to you, your boyfriend raised an eyebrow in challenge to your glee over his stained face. whilst you may be innocent in the eyes of others, toge was all too aware of your love for pranking him and, as his eyes wandered over your expression, he couldn't help but think that you looked a bit too happy.

using sign language to communicate with you, toge quickly confronted you on his suspicion. 'did you plan this out, (y/n)?'

at the signalling of the average question, you couldn't contain your more historical laughter: bending into yourself from where you were sat on the sofa in the common area. "i-i'm sorry! it's just too funny!" you managed to speak through your chuckles.

seeing just how affected you were by this whole event, inumaki allowed a small grin to take form on his face which only amplified as he spotted the same exact lipstick you had applied just minutes earlier on the coffee table. leaning over to grab it, and copied your previous actions.

you were too caught up in your giggles to notice, but as your boyfriend began to ferociously kiss all around your face, you knew that he was wearing a lipstick, but not the one you had worn. he was wearing the one that nobara had discarded after she realised that it wouldn't come off for three days (even with rinsing and scrubbing), the one that was a bold cherry red.

so, once toge had calmed down his hast pecks, you turned to him with your mouth slightly hanging open in the realisation of what you had just done.

"toge?" with your boyfriend's full attention now on you, you stared at him owlishly. "i think you've used um, a different lipstick from me..."

your proclamation encouraged the inumaki boy to tilt his head in confusion, checking the packaging of the tube he had picked up just moments ago. and, as you slipped your lipstick from your pocket, you both realised that neither of you were going to be free of lipstick stains for at least the next couple of days.

extra:

"wow! you two are matching today, i see?" gojo laughed upon seeing your and toge's practically red faces the morning after the lipstick fiasco. "i love the new style of blush! is it a trend?!"

at that moment, you swore that you could've joined the side of evil curses just to get back at your teacher.

© fairytogeㅤ ꔫㅤ please do not copy, repost, translate, etc without my permission

[charmixpower]

Do you have HC's on how the boys would react to the Winx getting hurt in a fight?

Oooo, yeah. I'm under the assumption that the girlie have returned injured, and not there getting hurt in front of the guys lol

Sky: lmao panic central. Not has hard as some of the other people on this list, but he's very anxious about Bloom. He kinda just hovers over her. If she's just kinda injured or very injured he reacts the same exact way but more. He hovers and worries, and hovers some more. I pity any doctor that has to deal with him. Everything is now worth arguing about, and getting every single detail. Did I mention hovering? He's a little overprotective. Brandon probably ends up getting called at some point (if he's not dealing with someone else of equal or more importance) to help him worry in a more helpful way, Brandon is used to this

Brandon: Listen, he's not up in arms. He was aware that Stella was in the combat track at Alfea when he started dating her. This is pretty expected all things considered. He reacts about the same if one of his teammates got injured. Assess the injury, make them comfortable, handle anything they can't. His reaction tends to proportional to Stella's. If Stella is laughing about it and cracking jokes, then he's not going to act very seriously. If she's crying and shaken, then he's more gentle and attentive. I'm basing his mind set off my mom who doesn't freak out about things bc "what's freaking out going to help?", he's very much the same way. On top of that, him freaking out could make Stella freak out more, and he'd hate to deal with that. If Stella's really injured he takes it with about as level head as he can...and mostly stress takes care of literally anything he can think of because sitting next her and being sad while she heals doesn't help anything. Tries to stay slightly more light hearted than Stella about the situation (unless she's cracking jokes about it) in an attempt to make her feel better about any injuries

Timmy: he's panicking bc dude has anxiety. I'm re-watching s1 and wow this guy cannot function under pressure like at all. Would just try to stick around Tecna and watch over her. He can't really do anything but it gives him peace of mind. He usually isn't more than a room a way. If she needs something he gets it for her, but he's also clumsy as fuck fkend. If Tecna is really injured it's the same thing except he's a lot more visibly upset. Not diddly darn doin ok

Riven: lmao and you thought Sky was panicking. He isn't taking it well, not even a little bit, not thing is ok. Riven kinda measures his self worth based on how useful he is, the the correct way (to him) to be useful to be a partner is to protect them, take care of/support them, be able to give them things they like/need, and make them happy (this one gets added after his epiphany about not being a dick at the end of s1, it's not like he didn't care about that during s1 but he thought the other three and this one were the same thing). Musa being injured makes him think he's completely and utterly failed that first one, which means he's fucked up being a boyfriend which makes him angry at himself. He's trying his best to take care of Musa, and this is one of the rare exclusively soft Riven moments. Musa is hurt so his emotions filter is off for as long as their alone, he will express many soft feelings and immediately clam back up afterwards bc being vulnerable is scary. If Musa is really injured he just just hangs around her when she needs him/wants his company, and he desperately tries to distract himself when he isn't around her bc lord know this man can't handle emotions. He's sad!! And worried!! And mostly expressing this as being pissed as fuck at himself for no reason because he doesn't know how else to channel all this excess energy!! Sometimes he'll just get sad and mope around watching over her. It depends on how he was feeling before hand

Helia: reacts in a similar way as Brandon but with more "planning violent revenge". Helia is very non emotional guy (he has the autistic flat emotions that I have the opposite of), and he's always down for murder if it's for Flora. He doesn't panic, because he just kinda doesn't (it would take a lot to make him panic), but he does make sure everything is perfect for when Flora needs things (tho he isn't stress organizing like Brandon is). Helia likes to keep things under control (like his weapon implies), so he tries to keep everything is exactly how he and Flora need it. If Flora gets really injured, he kinda just freezes. Everything goes to shit because he no longer is taking care of it, he's just glued to Flora's bed side. Helia is out of his emotional depth and it shows

Mirta: she's not one of the guys but SHHH Flora/Mirta is my favorite Flora ship. Um, she's panicking. Like panicking HARD. Between the two of the Flora is the calm one and it shows. She immediately tries to start healing Flora and running around doing everything she can....unfortunately Mirta is kinda clumsy, she tries her best and cleans up anything that she messes up it's fine. If Flora's really injured Mirta gets still and sad instead of hyper and anxious. She still works hard to heal Flora but she's not a mile a minute anymore, she's slower and meticulous...while still internally panicking

Nabu: A very measured response. Not quite Brandon levels, Nabu can't stay that calm even though Aisha is already anxious AF, but he tries to be someone Aisha can lean on without being worried he'll get freaked out too. Tries to cheer Aisha up bc Aisha get catastrophic thoughts, a symtom of anxiety, and can work herself up in a tizzy when she's not actively in the situation (aka no time to think). He usually cheers her up by getting her a fun TV show to watch with some claiming tea lmao, she is not allowed to exercise till she's completely healed. If Aisha's really injured, all calmness goes out of the window. He's panicking. He doesn't know what to do. He's researching everything about the injury and catastrophizing himself. Someone help him, before be spirals into a black hole

[bloodraven55]

I saw a post recently where someone else analysed how Luz's love language is acts of service and Amity's is physical affection, and it got me thinking so in light of today's incredible episode I want to do some serious digging into Luz's feelings for Amity. This is probably gonna get pretty long but hey, these two are more than worth it.

I'm going to go through three key episodes for Luz and Amity's relationship so that I can properly illustrate my points, starting with Lost in Language.

First, I want to talk about how, despite the fact that Amity had been nothing but objectionable to her so far, literally all it takes for Luz to decide she wants to befriend her anyway is reading about Azura befriending Hecate in her book and seeing Amity reading to kids at the library. This clearly establishes that Luz is intrigued by Amity and willing to go out of her way to connect with her, even when Amity hasn't yet given her any particular reason to do so.

Next, let's talk about the manner in which Luz tries to save Amity from Otabin later in the same episode. This is one of the first times we see Luz attempt to be Amity's hero, as she chooses to make an unnecessarily dramatic entrance dressed as her own version of Azura, playing the role of the dashing knight come to rescue the fair maiden albeit not quite as gracefully as is usual in these stories lol. She even takes the time to doodle Amity being impressed by her performance too, introducing the idea that Amity's perception of her means a lot to Luz.

Finally for this episode, we get another example of both these things: Luz putting in a substantial effort to bond with Amity, and Luz wanting to impress Amity or get specific reactions from her. After impulsive plan to get them away from Otabin works, Luz finds the time to be a good even when they're running for their lives and actually manages to make Amity laugh which was an impressive feat at that point tbh, looking extremely pleased when her comment is received positively.

These next two moments provide a neat link to the next episode I want to discuss, Adventures in the Elements, so I'll cover them in one go. We see Luz's first Act of Service for Amity when she offers her the Azura book she's missing to show that she wants to be friends, and then when she meets Amity to get it back we see how important the gesture was for Luz. She's very eager to hear Amity's thoughts, loves it when she finds the fanart Amity drew, and in general it's just obvious that this was another attempt to impress Amity on Luz's part.

This only continues as Luz proudly proclaims that she's going to join Amity's class at Hexside, even winking at her in the process, and solidifies the significance of her giving Amity the book even more by suggesting they start a club to talk about it further. Like, seriously, this entire episode is pretty much just Luz being adorably excited to share classes with Amity and flat out learning a whole new spell just to make sure it happens.

The interesting thing here, though, is that Luz gets really nervous as soon as the twins suggest they all train together, enough to lie to them in a moment of panic, and then gets super embarrassed when she sees that Amity is also practicing at the Knee. This doesn't seem to make much sense since Amity is being pretty nice by this point and not at all mocking or condescending, and Luz has given up on trying to look cool to the twins by now too. But it actually makes a lot of sense when you consider that this is another instance of Luz wanting to impress Amity and worrying about looking inept in front of her.

There's also the way that Luz is just... so clumsy and awkward around Amity in these episodes. The girl knocks a book to the floor and falls off a rock just trying to say hello, for crying out loud, complete with stammering over her words. Yeah, it's safe to say Luz is lowkey crushing on Amity here.

Don't worry, because I saved the best for last. Enchanting Grom Fright is basically the culmination of everything those two previous episodes set up. Not only do we get two Acts of Service from Luz, with her offering to face her own worst fear for Amity with zero hesitation and then happily offering to go to Grom with her so that Amity wouldn't end up alone, but she also brings out some dramatic flair when she declares herself Amity's “fearless champion,” like a knight in shining armour vowing to protect her princess although she still hasn't got the graceful part down lmao.

Plus, there's the fact that in both of their Lingering Eye Contact in Close Proximity with Romantic Tension™ moments in the episode, Luz's expression is the exact same as Amity's, wide-eyed and curious like she's not quite sure what to make of what she's feeling. And that's even before she just full on starts flirting with Amity later on. I'm sorry, but those smirks and fancy show-off moves while dancing are not remotely heterosexual, Luz.

All of this brings us to their current situation: Amity is aware of her crush on Luz but thinks that Luz only sees her as a friend, and Luz is subconsciously flirting with Amity as well as trying to show off for her and be her hero but remains fairly unaware of her crush on her and thinks that Amity likes someone else. So in conclusion, teenagers are useless, but we been knew. Rather, the point I want to end on is that there's a reason why Luz and Amity were so in sync with such amazing chemistry during their dance when they weren't talking, and it's because they both have different ways of communicating their emotions but when they let their actions speak for them they were finally on the same page albeit briefly.

tl;dr - Luz and Amity are both crushing hard on each other, they just need to realise that the other has a different way of expressing their feelings and find the courage to be honest with each other. Amity's crush is more glaringly blatant, what with all the blushing and gay panicking and wanting to ask Luz to the school dance, but Luz's crush on Amity is also pretty evident in the way she tries so hard to impress her and often steps in to help her out with grand gestures, which she never does to anywhere near the same extent with any of her other friends.

[jslittlebirdie]

Here Without You

Pairing: Soft!Ledger!Joker x Reader

Summary: Your last days have been really bad and exhausting. There are always new problems you have to take care of, you feel tired and burnt out, and on top of that, J hasn't shown up for several days. That was until today.

Word count: 1,344

Genre: probably a bit angsty / fluffy comfort / self-insert

Warnings: Reader has a bad day, low self esteem

Notes: A very big thank you to my dearest best friend @fan-of-pretty-much-2-much for encouraging me to post this fic. What would I do without you, your support and love? I own you so much🥺😭 Also, thank you so incredibly much for this simply beautiful title💜

Well, this fic is a total self-insert😅 I basically wrote it for myself as a comfort. So it's probably too cheesy and my characterization of J is way too soft and ooc. But maybe someone will like it anyway, I don't know. So read at your own risk lol🙈 Also, the text is unedited and English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes.

Taglist: @ajokeformur-ray @sacredempressnatlyia @rommies

It had been days now since you last saw your clown. News reports were your only clues as to his whereabouts and well-being. You didn't blame him, he was a busy man - a free man who came and went as he pleased - and you wouldn't keep him from his business. Even though, if you were honest, you would love to not let him leave your apartment ever again, and instead keep him with you where you knew he was safe; not that he couldn't take care of himself.

But you missed him terribly. And on top of that, your doubts and insecurities were getting worse with each passing day. You probably weren't good enough for him, too boring and annoying with all your worries. Would he ever come back to you? Was he tired of you? Had you perhaps upset him without knowing it?

And today... Today was a particularly bad day. Already early in the morning the day had started with bad news, new things you had to take care of. Problems kept coming up, there just seemed to be no end in sight. Once you had taken care of one thing, two new things popped up. You felt overwhelmed, burned out and tired. You longed for a break. You longed for him.

A familiar noise. But you only heard it very distantly. You were far too lost in your sad and gloomy thoughts. You sat on your bed and stared at the wall. Your eyes hurt because you tried to hold back your tears as hard as you could, even though you knew it was wrong. But you wanted to stay strong, not show any weakness.

The noise came closer, heavy footsteps. The door to your room cracked open and a face painted with makeup peered in, looking for you. When J spotted you, he grinned mischievously. But his good mood soon changed when he saw you in this miserable state. He immediately noticed that something was wrong, even if he didn't quite know what it was yet. So he entered your room without waiting for you to give him your permission. And even when J stood right in front of you and looked at you with his beautiful dark eyes, which actually showed a hint of concern, you hardly reacted, which admittedly only worried him more. Because you normally ran up to him at the first sign of his presence. But today was... different. And he didn't like it at all.

"What's the matter, toots, hm? I'm back, I'm here."

You stared at him, but you couldn't see him. You hadn't quite realized yet that he was truly standing in front of you. It seemed more like your mind was playing a trick on you - an evil trick to torture you even more. "I'm so sorry, J," you finally uttered. It wasn't so much directed at him as you were talking to yourself.

"You're sorry for what?" He frowned thoughtfully. He couldn't remember anything you had done that you needed to apologize for. But it wasn't a surprise that you apologized in the first place. You apologized for the smallest things, sometimes even for apologizing. But this time, he was a little bit confused.

"I don't know. That I annoyed you with... with me being the way I am. I don't know, okay?!" That was the moment you snapped back to reality. You saw him. Standing in front of you, in his usual slightly bent posture, his head tilted to one side as he tried to figure things out. And that's when you couldn't hold back your tears any longer.

Intuitively, J leaned down towards you and reached out to cup your face with his gloved hands. But you flinched away from him, too ashamed and insecure. "No, J. Don't!"

But he didn't let that stop him. Even though you had said the exact opposite, he could tell by the look in your eyes how much you wanted him. And it caused a strange feeling to rise in his chest - he wasn't sure what to think of it, so he just shrugged it off and focused all of his attention back on you. He sat down next to you, wrapped his arms around your body that was trembling with tension, and gently pulled you to him. This time you let it happen; the second he touched you, you were like putty in his hands. Moments later you found yourself on his lap and you couldn't help but cling to him as tightly as you could, your tear-streaked face buried in his broad chest, inhaling his scent between heavy sobs - a mixture of burnt rubber, gasoline and sweat (he had been out there for days, of course, he hadn't had time to worry about such trivialities) and something so specifically J that your heart ached. Oh, how much you had missed him. All you wanted and needed was him. Your J. It was kind of ironic. While others ran away from him in sheer panic, you longed for him. You had never been like others, you saw so much more in him than just a criminal. To you, he was your charming, sometimes pretty grumpy, but still in his own special way caring and loving clown - but you better not say this out loud. You just loved him. This realization hit you so hard that a new wave of emotions washed over you.

"Shush. I'm here, I gotcha." He shifted beneath you, loosening his grip around you, causing you to sigh in frustration. Rustling of expensive material and then suddenly you felt all warm - he had wrapped you in his royal purple coat and then put his arms around you again like a vice. You were in the warmest, safest embrace you could ever think of. Immediately, your body relaxed, your trembling finally subsided. You listened to his steady heartbeat and mimicked his breathing. J hummed and smiled to himself as he noticed your reaction.

When you finally felt calm enough, you lifted your face off of him so you could look at him; your eyes were bloodshot and dark rings stood out beneath them. He hated to see you like this, but he said nothing; he waited until you were ready to talk. And you were ready. You took a deep breath and finally murmured, "Today was just a shitty day. There's so much to do and it seems to never get any less. Everything is too much. And I... I missed you so much... I thought you weren't coming back."

"But here I am, right?" He squeezed you a little tighter to put emphasis on his words. "I know you've got a lot going on right now. But ya got this, toots. You're tougher than you think you are. Aaand..." A huge and devious grin formed on his lips. You could literally see him thinking about all the things he had done in the past few days. "I need to lay a little low for the next few days."

"Yeah, I picked up something like this on the news. What is it this time?" You're no longer able to suppress a weak giggle. And a yawn. You were so very tired and exhausted, you hadn't slept well since J left, when he wasn't by your side. But now that you were cocooned in his protective warmth... Your eyes grew heavier and heavier. "So does this mean you're staying home, J?"

"I'm not going anywhere, sweets." He moved you both on the bed until you were in a lying position, you still on top of him wrapped in his coat. Even though he would never admit it, he had missed you too. And holding you in his arms like that - feeling you, knowing you were safe and relaxed - made him aware of his own exhaustion. He pressed a sloppy kiss to your forehead, leaving a beautiful reminder for you when you woke up in the morning, and then closed his eyes himself.

[hwauas]

✨: "taste of heaven" pt.1

> collaboration with ma sweetheart @nateezfics 💕

> part 2 (here) on her blog!

kang yeosang (강여상)!

you were born in the wrong place in your opinion. you never chose to be a princess. you never chose to have a high statute. you never chose to have this much duties. but you had to go through this. you had to live with this. you have to deal with this everyday. and everyday seemed to be the same for you. waking up every day at the same exact time. having everyday the same breakfast. having the same toilette every morning. and working on tasks the parents gave you, thinking you were able to achieve them as a princess. you could get some tasks about a tiny area in the country with problems to solve, or you could get task about servants' and maids' timetable. your parents got you very ambivalent.

     but little did they know, you were tired about this. the only free time you could have were afternoons here and there. the rest of the time, your statute got you busy with different tasks.

you wanted a significant change. you wanted to be free. you wanted to escape in aim to live. you wanted and needed a whole another life.

     the garden aback the castle was your way out. a place a little bit wild, way less tidy. the greenery was free to crawl everywhere. around a pond, there were water lilies, and different type of flowers and plants. the pond seemed to be wild with all those plants. and around this pond, there were stone benchs and arches. creepers were crawling around the different items in the place: on the bench legs and all around the arches.

the thick foliage of the trees was reducing the sun light in the place. the whole atmosphere was softer, the dim light was creating an atmosphere o so relaxing and almost romantic. spending time there was your favourite activity. you could focus on yourself, things which were important to you, and you could dream and breath.

     today, you managed to have some time for yourself. you needed to be somewhere you felt secured in, and somewhere you could relax. somewhere you could take off your crown for hours.

today again, the sun was shining through the foliage, making the place look magic. few rays of sun were illuminating the pond and were reflected on the foliage above. the water, where the sun shone, looked like myriad of diamonds. the birds were chirping around you. the plants seemed to be a little bit greener with the few rays of sun.

     it was a perfect place, at a perfect moment.

     what you didn't know, a man was approaching.

he was your opposite : independant, even though he had duties, and free, even though he had a statute.

he was breathtaking: sharped jawline, plump lips, little nose, thin eyes with brilliant pupils, eyebrows decorating perfectly his forehead, and bangs falling gracefully on his forehead, giving him a slight of mystery.

his body was perfectly sculped: large shoulder, thin waist, developped chest, sharped collarbones, long legs. you could have said his body was sculped by Greek gods themselves.

     but he was the actual god.

herald of gods, he was also a protector: merchants, human heralds, orators, travellers, but also thieves.

pacing up and down the whole world to deliver message was his main activity. he was excelling at it.

     his footsteps got you out of your thoughts. you were fully aware of your surroundings to localise the person approaching as soon as possible.

from the corner of your eyes, you could distinguish his figure approaching yours. few rays of sun lit up his body. few of them also lit up his brilliant pupils on you.

     “it's the very first time i'm seeing such a beautiful person here.”

his voice was soft. it was like a lullaby to your eyes.

     you turned your head over him. his brilliant pupils were looking deep inside yours. his gaze seemed to be more precious than anything else. and the thin smile on his lips was adding more preciousness to his face.

as soon as your brain totally assimilated his beauty, your heart almost immediately reacted: it was beating so fast. you never felt this way before. you never felt your heart react this much to someone unknown to you

     “really? aww, i'm sorry. but since this little place is behind the castle i live in and this place is owned by my parents.. i guess you can see me here pretty often.”

you offered this man your prettiest smile.

     “oh, so i'm walking in a private area? oh, i'm sorry, i don't have any permission..”

you giggled, making you look even cuter in front of him.

     “i give you my permission.”

your eyes were glued in his. you couldn't look somewhere else. something was pulling you closer to him. and without you could even take the control over your brain, you were in front of him.

“i hope you're gonna use this permission wisely.~”

     “may i offer you.. my company?”

you could blush at this precious look on your face. he was looking at you so tenderly. you could say he was as mesmerised by you as you were mesmerised by him.

     “this is a good answer.”

     because of a breeze, your dress brushed his legs, and mixed up with his own clothes. few strands of your hair slowly flew, coming in front of your face. and the man in front of you didn't waist time to push them away your face, behind your ears.

     the man then put a hand on your waist, and invite you to sit back on the bench. he was so gentle with you, and led you to the bench like a real gentleman. his hand on your waist, his gaze on your face, a smile on his lips.

he sat besides you, yet was facing you. he was admiring you, like you admire a deity. his own heart was beating irregularly. and just as you, he never lived something like that before.

     “who might you be?”

your voice was a little bit shaking because of shyness. you were looking down to the pond. yet this time, you were really blushing since you were feeling his sparkling gaze on you.

     “i'm Yeosang. Kang Yeosang. i was supposed to pass by quickly for a mission but.. i don't wanna live now i know someone as stunning as you is here.”

     “a-a mission?”

his compliment got you stuttering, and going redder — he was indeed succumbing to you. you were even playing with your fingers. your heart was still beating fast.

     “yes. i am gods' herald. but this message can wait, and will wait.”

Yeosang slightly tilted his head to the side. gently, he grabbed your chin and made you look straight into his eyes.

“and you? who are you?”

his pupils never left yours. the tenderness in his eyes was warming you up, and he soon felt like home to you: you didn't have to be shy anymore around him — plus, he was in the same estate, right?

     “princess y/n. Lee y/n.”

     “does the princess believe in gods?”

Yeosang looked next to you, where you put down your crown. he took it, and gently put it back on the top of your head.

     “now, she does. she has a god in front of her, how could she not believe in gods now?”

you were first looking at his eyes after he put the crown on your head, but your gaze eventually wandered over his face: his forehead, his nose, his cheekbones, his cheeks, and his plump lips. your gaze stayed there for a moment. and Yeosang noticed it.

     “and does she want to kiss this god?”

     “she's craving for it. but is this sensible?”

your eyes quickly went back to his pupils. the sun was shining over his face. his skin seemed to be smoother with the rays of sun.

     “i've fallen for you, even though we just met. is this sensible?”

Yeosang softly grabbed your chin between his thumb and forefinger. he kept your face up, looking in your eyes. the birds weren't chirping anymore, and the whole place was quiet. it was as if the whole world stopped to look at you both.

“it's not. but i'm not trying to hold myself back. if my whole soul suddenly started to scream out your name, then i'm happy to say i'm not wise anymore. nothing is sensible now i've met you.”

     “shut up and kiss me. it's a royal order.”

     “what my princess wants, my princess gets.”

     Yeosang softly leaned over your face. his lips gently touched yours. his lips moved against yours perfectly, as if both of your lips were meant to be against each other.

you slowly came closer to him, as if he was a magnet you were attracted to. your hand wandered over his thigh, and upper to his chest. your whole body was screaming his name out: the heart beating fastly, your skin getting hotter, the palms of your hands getting clammy.

     but the kiss had to end. you — sadly — couldn't stay suspended to his lips for ever.

     “if nothing of this is sensible, let's be unreasonable.”

your eyes were showing off distress, pleasure and love.

     Yeosang was everything you wanted, needed, and had everything you were craving for — freedom. you wanted and needed to have him by your side. him, for what he was, and what he had, was what you had to have by your side.

     “is this.. an another royal order, princess?”

his warm hands wrapped up your shoulders. but slowly, they were wandering down your arms to your hands.

     “it is. do it.”

     slowly, Yeosang started to kiss your forehead. his kisses went down, again and again — your temple, your cheek, your jawline, your neck, and your collarbone.

     the next moments would be animated.

[aio-rya]

Kabedon! Octavinelle Headcanons

Fem! Reader SO x Octavinelle

「Requested by: Anon」

Azul 🐙

・He is almost always busy, with that professional and somewhat scary vibes of his. He knows he must be thoughtful on you, his one and only SO, but he forgets it more than he would like to... So, he would be truly concerned when you pin him down against the wall with a serious look in your eyes.

・For a moment, you are able to see this soft side of him, a little scared octopus boy in front of you, shrinking despite the fact of being taller. You were serious on the outside but bursting in laughter on the inside, struggling until you can't help it anymore and leanin your forehead over his shoulder.

・"W-What is this!?", he would ask in annoyance by the loud but sweet sound of your laughter. You're breathless, the prank was not complete but at least you could scare him a bit, and he knows he deserve it... But you'll never hear him admit it out loud.

・He will blush when you get into the explanation of what was it all about. He's betting anything you could ask for that it was Floyd's idea and he will lecture you on why it is not okay scaring him like that.

・He made no attempt of pushing you away at any moment during the whole explanation or the lecture he made. In fact, you got confortable and eventually, your arms were not stretched against the wall but surrounding his shoulders as he caressed your back. None of you realised about it until the silence filled the entire room.

・Deep inside himself, he knew it was a good idea, in fact it was an effective seduction technique he wasn't aware of. He loves the sensation of being in control so, without thinking about it very much, you just gave him the perfect tool for gaining your attention whenever he wished to surprise you.

・Every time he thinks about trying something on you, some small prank or teasing, he will remind you about that time when you tried pining him down to his office's wall... And that will be the perfect excuse for a sweet revenge on you.

Floyd 🦈

・You just tried, at least. Floyd is distracted most of the time, specially around you since, as his SO, he blindly trust you... he was just walking by the hallway of the Dorm by your side when you stopped and pushed his slender figure against the solid corridor wall. Wait, you didn't think it will work, did you?

・"Nee~ what is shrimpy trying to do with me?", he asks, tilting his head as his beautiful bi-coloured eyes analyse your nervous stare. He is now holding your arms against his chests with a serious visage, fast reflexes.

・A mischievous smirk appears on his face as he lifts your chin with a finger, eyes fixed on yours. "Ho~ were you trying to push me up against the wall?", he ask. He takes your blushed face and your silence as an affirmative.

・He will just giggle and turn you around, so things would be on his favor, now the little shrimp is at his mercy. You will struggle of course but you're just making it funnier for him! He likes when you put up a fight for him but specially when you steal his pranks —yes, he has already done this to you.

・He will show off about his height and strength while tickling you, not letting you move away from the wall. You are so wicked, trying to get advantage of his distraction, it was not fair! —well, not when you did it.

・He will torture you, making you choke in laughter until you apologise for scaring him. Oh, yeah, he thought you were about to fall until you blushed and looked away—that was the exact moment when he realised you stole his master technique, the one most effective to get your attention on him an nobody else, anywhere at any time.

・Later, he will bring you some of his Takoyaki as a little peace offer. You know how he could be, so you are not really mad, I'm fact you are amused, it's not that frequent for both of you to have fun together. And now, you will think about another way to have him at your mercy. Maybe pining him down into the coach could be useful, of when he is tired due to his spots activities... Oh, it will get lots of planning.

Jade 🐬

・He is always so proper and quiet, which makes him most unpredictable than his brother. You know him well, at least better that the rest of the college, but that was not synonym of you being able surprise him. Actually, the surprised one were you when you saw how calm he was.

・You were tiptoeing so your arms could reach the wall at the height of his shoulders; still your face was lower than his. Your eyes widened when you saw a small smile appearing on his lips. In that moment, you knew you were trouble.

・"Ara, you must be very bold for trying this on me~", he said with velvety voice. He then moved his hand to hold yours and kissed the back of your hands as you got back to you original height. With a mischievous smile, he started slowly walking towards you.

・Of course you were forced to step back, slowly, until your back hit the opposite side of the wall. Jade never letting go of your hand, the back still pressed to his lips when that mischievous grin appeared —oh, your fate indeed was to fail in this quest when your opponent came to be your boyfriend.

・Now that you were the one caught between his body and the wall, you could do anything but looking at him with pleading eyes and an innocent smile. He would fix a strand of your hair behind your ear and then lift your chin to interrogate you about your motives for trying to apply his very own movement on him.

・He will tease you, getting advantage of his height by constantly changing the position of his arms. Sometimes leaning forward to look you in the eyes, sometimes looking you from above so you could barely see his mischievous look. When he listened that you sighed in annoyance, he will finally let go of you and hug you, softly laughing.

・He promises to let you have fun next time, but you still have a lot to learn if you want to immobilise him like that —he can teach you how, but that means you must be prepared for him doing this anytime, whenever he thinks you are off-guard. Even though, he wouldn't deny that it was a romantic and bold attempt. Two of the things he love most about you.

[qyllenhaal]

God’s Face in the Fire || Part 2

Dark!Lee Bodecker x Dark!Reader

Summary: A wife who would do anything to give her husband the world, even if it means getting herself involved with his trouble.

Word Count: 10.3k

Chapter warnings: dark themes!!! contains mentions of murder, non-graphic death scenes, smut (loss of virginity in a flashback scene), manipulation, brief mention of sexual assaults, misogyny, uncomfortable situations. Please heed the warnings!!! 18+ only

A/N: It's been forever since I posted. The last two weeks have left me discombobulated that it was hard to find time to sit down to write and edit this, but I'm glad I got to it! The next part is going to be the last part but I have plans to do one-shots for this universe. I'm going to be posting a Senator!Chris fic tomorrow so stay tuned for that.

Enjoy!

"You remember when I took you out for milkshakes and you spilled yours all over me? You were wearing that exact same color," Lee said pointing at the dress she was pressing.

"All those years ago, and you still remember that?" Y/n wanted to drown in this tender moment she's having with her husband. Hearing him laugh, his stomach shifting, and his eyes wrinkling.

"How could I? Watching you get all flustered and cute really got me goin’. It's when I knew I was gonna marry ya."

The days have been incredibly warm and beautiful since Y/n had done what she did. It was cruel irony that she was enjoying another day while someone’s body was rotting. The softer moments of life were few and far between these days, but right now she’s offered her a wonderful distraction.

She had taken on more tasks than usual to distract herself from the intrusive thoughts she had. She even accepted a last minute invite to help put on an event at the local rental hall with some of the other mothers in town. It gave her an excuse to look nice and show herself off to anyone who had some doubts about Lee. Things were looking good for him, but there was always something to do to further rehabilitate his image. She always looked her best as the sheriff's wife. Keeping up the appearances exhausted her since they have become more frequent for her. However if she wanted the people to fawn over her lovely family, she had to show up. An arts and crafts event for the kids is also a good chance to get their daughter out of the house.

Teenage Y/n did not see herself becoming a housewife so young. It was unsavory to think about being a homemaker for one of the boys’ at school. She surmised that she would’ve stuck by her original plan if she had not been so lonely. All of Y/n's friends left within a year of graduating high school. She didn't have that many friends to begin with, but she thought that at least one would always be there for her. Rose went to college, and Barbara found a man to marry and moved to upstate New York. Only one stayed for some time, Judith, but she eventually left after having a shotgun wedding. It was selfish of her to think that someone would stay just because she got rejected from the only college she had applied to. Other people had lives and Y/n was just not at the center of them.

The absence of her friends made her pregnancy more lonely. Her baby shower consisted of her family, Lee’s sister, and his co-workers and their wives. None of the women seemed to be fond of Y/n. It always plagued her mind to know if they thought she was too young and stupid or if it was just something else

She found solace in some of the other mother's in town. When she began showing up around to volunteer at bake sales and food drives she expected them to look at her face and then down at her belly and reject her. She is younger than them and feared they'd find her naïve. She had kept to herself for so long that she thought they'd write her off as the sheriff's meek wife.

Y/n didn't get a chance to mingle with anyone prior to her marriage and Lee made it harder by insisting in little ways that she stay in the house. No one was at fault that Lee wanted to keep her to himself. It was possible he did it out of insecurity, but Y/n now speculates that it was because he didn’t want to hear or even see what he may have been doing.

One of the ladies who Y/n only knew by her dark hair and distinct, pointy nose joked that Lee had, "finally let Rapunzel out of the castle." When the other mothers joined into laughter, she felt small. It was only a harmless joke that was steeped in the truth. It took her persistence to no longer wanting to feel alone while being pregnant to get the women to warm up to her, and the did.

"I remember spilling the milkshake, but I was too embarrassed to remember anything else about that night," she admitted.

Lee remembers that night very well. He wishes that she didn't end the night so quickly because she ruined a pair of trousers that could easily be replaced. He had only bought them to impress her, but it didn't take much to get her to swoon over him. No other man was giving her the time of day.

"We should go out to that diner Friday night. Now that we have someone to watch the little one, we don't have to stop by your parents to drop her off anymore. I can just scoop you up and we can have a night together," Lee pressed himself into Y/n's backside. She giggled when his hands lightly danced against her ticklish sides.

Lee had also been aware of the slim moments of intimacy with his wife. He was serious about this race but he truly underestimated how much time and effort he'd have to put into this. But people really did love the old mayor. The only slight Lee had against him was his old age and how some believed that if he kept going then he might run into some health problems. The rumors about him becoming more and more forgetful were minute compared to the dark gossip swirling about Lee though. Some of the people in town would probably vote for a paper bag before Lee.

His biggest fear is that he loses the election and drives his wife away. He could lose the race, but if his wife somehow slipped away, taking their baby with her, he’d drink himself into a stupor. Lee tried his very best to hide his insecurities from her. When he worried, she worried too and it made it much harder for him to plan his way out of whatever hole he is in when he has a hysterical wife to deal with. That's why he'd rather not tell her anything.

Lee also wasn't the young man in his prime anymore, he believed that his good looks were fading, and he has gained a considerable amount of weight. The fear of Y/n just up and leaving him for someone younger than him and riding off to the city always plagued him. The birth of their daughter should've assuaged him, but his self-doubt always lingered like a cloud that made him stick to his vices.

"I've really missed ya honey...missed this body of yours."

Y/n flinched when his hands ran down the front of her body, over her stomach and then circling up back to her breast. Her body has changed considerably since giving birth and the hormonal imbalance left her feeling tired, sad, and alone. Her mother told her that all she had to do was look at her child and she'd feel better, but every time she looked at her little girl all she did was worry. Was she a good mom? Why was her daughter crying so much without much working? Was Lee staying at work for long hours to avoid the crying and her? Did he still find her attractive?

They’re both too busy thinking Lee's mayoral bid to realize they felt the exact same way as each other. If there was any other time that proved they were an extension of each other, it was now, but they were too blind to see it.

"Lee y-you're going to be late for work," her voice was weakened by his lips now nipping at her neck.

"Don't give a damn," he whispered against her skin, inhaling her familiar scent, "just wanna feel my wife."

Today, Y/n felt herself slipping back into her normal self and normal life. She melted into Lee, hoping that maybe they could have a moment to themselves, but they were interrupted by the phone ringing downstairs. Every early morning and late night phone call had her on edge. They never seemed to be about anything important but it hasn't failed yet to make her stomach churn.

Lee groaned and pulled away from her. She watched him disappear to go answer the phone.

It has been nearly two days and the only thing on her mind is what happened after she left that brothel. The anxiety made her feel sick. Hours later after it happened, around 2 a.m., she woke up and darted to the toilet. Lee kept asking her if she was pregnant as he held her hair back while her face was in the toilet. She dismissed his claims, knowing full and well that she was just sickened by her actions.

Lee had not mentioned a death or anything related to that brothel, so had he even been found? Was his death even reported? The girls who worked for him were probably too worried about their own arrest than the death of their abusive boss.

She wiped the look of worry off of her face when she heard his heavy footsteps coming back up the stairs.

"Who was it?"

"Your brother," his tone held disgust, "invited us to dinner on Sunday. He asked to speak to you but I told him you were still sleep."

"Lee!"

"I don't want to hear it," his voice boomed, much more dominant and rough than hers, "I ain't having dinner with him and I don't want to hear your mouth about it."

Y/n stayed silent and watched him grab the police hat resting on the dresser. She hated for him to leave on such a sour note, but she wouldn't dare say anything in fear she might make things worse.

He started towards the door of their bedroom before turning back to his wife, "Sandy supposed to stop by Saturday. I don't know why, so don't ask, but she claims she's comin'. Who knows if she'll stick to her word."

It’s like Lee did that on purpose, as some sort of sick payback for her brother calling. Y/n was not fond of Sandy and did not like to be around her for more than ten minutes. Sandy was a nice girl, a bit unsavory at times, but her husband Carl was a stain on her life. There was something about him that reminded her of the men her mother had warned her about when she was a young teenager; a man with a slick tongue and a creepy air around him. However, she found Carl much more sinister than that. The look in Carl's eyes when he looked at her and flashed her that unsettling smile was imprinted into her brain. They did not come around much, but when they did it was always a traumatic experience for Y/n.

Lee left the room before Y/n could respond. He knows how Y/n feels, but he can’t bring himself to care right now. She’s not going to protest against it because she knows better than that. He focused on the sound of soft babbling from his daughter as he walked into her room.

"Hey you," she looked up at him with her big eyes and her widening smile that made his heart swell, "you gonna be good for your mama? You've been on a mean streak lately and I'd hate to make good on my threat and put you in baby jail."

His daughter reached up and tried to grab at his face. Lee was clean-shaven now, but for the first few months of his daughter's life he had enough hair on his face for her to grab a hold of. It was funny to see how she still tried to grab at his non-existent hair, pinching his skin in the process.

"Miss the beard little lady? You're just like your mama," he kissed her forehead and felt a deep sense of guilt that he had to leave her to go to work. But everything he did was for her and if he believes that the long hours are going to pay off. All of his work is going to pay off when he wins that race.

-

The dress her daughter wore was blush to complement her mother's golden one. She looked around at every single building and person they passed as if it was her first time seeing it again. Her sense of wonder always made Y/n adore her even more. Y/n wondered what was going on in the little mind of her and what sense she made of the world.

She was never fussy when they were out, which was good for Y/n, but also good for the rehabilitation of Lee's image. He has such a good daughter and pretty wife, he must be doing something right. Every single person who stopped to say hi or coo at how cute her baby was, Y/n wondered if they have ever said something negative about Lee. Y/n never received weird stares or grimaces that would make her paranoid, but she still felt on edge. She always wanted to be on her best behavior, especially when Lee was not with her.

Y/n was forced to be her normal self; cheerful even though her mind was reeling over two nights ago, her sister-in-law, and what the conversation between Lee and her brother this morning may have sounded like. When one of the toddlers thrusted their drawing her face she feigned an excited smile. She hoped the mother's didn't notice her lackluster attitude.

"Y/n , can I speak with you?"

It was Sally's voice that called to her. She looked at the blonde woman with a bit of panic on her face. She thought that she was going to get chewed out by her, especially since she pulled her far away from the other children, and her daughter who was being held by one of the recently graduated girls.

"Is everything alright Sally?"

"I should be asking you that. Why am I hear things about Mrs. Blackwater sayin' she seen your Lee dumpin' bodies in the river behind her house?" At that moment Y/n could not hear her despite her lips still moving. Her blood ran cold at that last name being mentioned. It's been years, close to a decade, since she thought about that old woman, but the mere mention of her name brought Y/n back to a place she didn't want to be.

"I-I...I don't know what she's talking about-"

"My husband and I made a sizable donation to your husband's campaign, and it would be a shame to see him lose," the sugary voice and fake smile on Sally's face made Y/n's stomach ache. She didn't like how some of these women could be so fake because it always made her question if they really liked her or not. But Sally didn't care what Y/n would respond with, all she cared about was her and her husband's reputation, "you're not that much younger than me so you remember them days when that old bitch would be on her porch spewin’ whatever nonsense she could think if at any girl who walked on her sidewalk. No one likes Mrs. Blackwater, but don't think for a second they won't consider what she has to say about that husband of yours. I've heard too many whispers about him and I don't like it. I'll pull my endorsements if you don't fix this shit."

Was murdering one person not enough to save her husband from losing this race? The brothel owner was one person, someone who would not be missed by many people, but could she do something about Mrs. Blackwater?

'That's not right, that's not right.'

No matter how much she tried to shake that evil idea off, it kept creeping into her mind. Murder was the unlikely tool she had in her arsenal all along. It was morally wrong to kill someone, but her victim and the potential one had not been nice people. Mrs. Blackwater's stain on this Earth paled in comparison to Reed's, but that woman made her blood run much colder than the brothel owner.

It was so ironic that Mr. Blackwater was a beloved man in town because no one could stand his wife. They knew not to cross her path and that pies and home cooked meals would not abate her disdain for people. A man who was so kind and friendly was married to the most antisocial person Y/n has ever come across. But he never wasted a moment to sing her her praises. Y/n remembers one of her sons and he was mean just like his mother; a school yard bully that would beat up on anyone he saw as weak and alone. Y/n was lucky that he knew she had an older brother to protect because the Blackwater’s youngest boy never tried anything with her. However, she was not lucky enough to escape the wrath of Mrs. Blackwater. The irony was that she probably would've been better off being a victim of her son. That woman was nasty and wasn't afraid to show it.

"Don't you two get tired of dressing like whores?"

They had to pass the Blackwater house to get to Rose's house. Her house used to be at the end of the street before it got burned down, leaving the Blackwater house the last one on the street. It was nice, and had a big, big porch that Mrs. Blackwater always sat on for most of the day. She didn't stop at calling them just "whores'' and "wenches" either. Y/n never could understand why they always took the brunt of that woman's anger. Rose went home in tears every time she walked by that house. Maybe Y/n's anger is displaced, but she blames Mrs. Blackwater for why Rose was so eager to leave. There wasn't much here, but Rose always promised she'd stay. But ever since they encountered Mrs. Blackwater's misery, Rose had changed.

She could imagine that same venomous voice saying awful things about her husband, "Lee Bodecker put that body in the water. I saw it with my own two eyes!"

The thought of her husband killing someone shouldn't sound so crazy, especially after being able to do it herself. But her Lee can't be a cold-hearted man who slept with whores, murdered people, and ruined people lives. He was so sweet to her, he wasn't always was, but his touch was so soft against her skin, how could he hurt anyone?

Y/n had just turned 19 when she met Lee. He was a deputy, closer to being the sheriff than either of them knew at the time. Their age difference scared her somewhat; she only gave him a chance so she could distract herself from reminding herself that she should be finishing up the last year of being a college freshman. She had the grades and thought her test scores were satisfactory but she got rejected from Indiana University. Her father told her that there is always next year, but her mother told her she should just figure out a new plan.

It was the uncertainty and loneliness that made her get closer to Lee. He was close to his late 20s, unmarried, and he didn't exactly make his loneliness unknown.

He left a sour taste in her mouth in their very first encounter; pulling her over as an excuse to get her number. She gripped the steering wheel to stop them from shaking so much. She only had her license for a few weeks and made sure to be careful in fear of this exact situation happening. His slick talk didn't make her feel that much better either. She was too shaken up to even look at him in the eye or take in any of his features. She just remembered seeing his badge the words DEPUTY SHERIFF etched into it.

Lee let her off, saying she had a "pretty face" and that he hoped to see her around. She didn't think much about their interaction the days after he pulled her over, but she began to see him more than before. Y/n couldn't remember a time she had seen him prior to that one night and found it odd that his face kept reappearing. (He later told her that it was fate, but it was not. Lee purposefully put himself in her orbit. It was not hard to learn what her routine was and when she went out.)

She was weary about his advances, unsure how to react to them because the most experience she's had was with two boys, only one of whom she kissed. Their first date was not by choice either, he just decided to stick by her side while she was at the local dinner by herself.

And he has always stuck by since then, always hovering around her until she realized he was not going to go away and it’d be futile to ignore him. Lee never gave her the chance to make the decision for herself, but his girl was so sweet and she just needed a few cushy words for her to understand that this was where she belonged.

"Do your parents know you're out here meeting me?" It had only been a matter of time before she learned to be very obedient to him; always accepting his plans, even if it meant sneaking out of the house in the midnight hour. The smirk he wore on his face every time he watched her walk up to him left her feeling enchanted.

"Don't talk too loud. If my brother hears you he'll kill you and have my head."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her front to him. Lee groaned at the feel of her breast against his chest. She was so nervous to do anything with him that she only let him kiss her. It was fine for a while, but he had grown tired of waiting. Tired of being teased by her in those soft, pink dresses that would ride up whenever she had to bend over even just a little bit. He couldn't believe how naive she was to believe he was always dropping things like a pencil or his wallet on accident; he just wanted to see her bend over for him just for a chance to peak at what pretty panties she wore that day.

Getting her to come out with him at night was surprising, but the idea of riding in his patrol car was so alluring. The sparkle in her eyes gave him an overwhelming sense of machismo; enough for him to realize he just needs to take what she wants.

The full moon hung in the clear sky and they had a vast, open field in front of them. He took her just to the edge of the county that was secluded and was his favorite spot to go for some quiet (or getting his dick sucked). The moonlight and a few street lights that were actually working were the only light they had.

"You look so pretty today baby," his hand rested on her thigh the whole entire drive but only now did he actually move it to stroke her skin, "you always look so pretty for me. I'm the luckiest man in town."

Y/n giggled and her face felt like it was burning up. No one had taken the time to compliment her sweetly, and that was obvious to Lee. He cradled her face in the palm of his hand and watched her turn into putty. His hand inches closer to her heat causing her to jump like his hand was made of actual fire.

"Relax baby...just relax for me," Lee planted his face in her neck and nipped at it. His lips tickled the skin on her neck and she did her best to suppress her giggles but they spilled from her lips. Lee smirked against her skin, "there she is. There's my girl."

She let a laugh slip through, but she suppressed the moan that was stuck in her throat. It was so odd to feel him on her neck but it was an unfamiliar feeling that she liked. His hand never left her thigh, in fact he had sneakily moved it closer to her sex. She felt ashamed about the growing wetness that she could feel sticking to her.

Lee grabbed her hand and placed it right over the bulge straining in his pants. She let out a heavy sigh when she realized what it was. "That's how hard you make me. You making me so fucking hard girl," he growled in her ears. This was something only the senior girls from her high school could dream about when they talked about hooking up with their boyfriends. None of them were even half the man Lee was, and here he was: hard and ready just for her.

"L-Lee," her voice broke into bits, her body overheating from Lee taking control, "wait, can we slow down?"

"You taste so sweet baby," he continued kissing her, ignoring her until she was pulling away from his grasp. "What's wrong girl?" The furrowing of his brow made her worry that she pissed him off. Lee was all she had, he convinced her to put away her dream of going to college and stay here for him, if she ran him off then she'd have nothing else.

"I'm just nervous. I’ve never done this before Lee," she hoped her honesty went a long way and would make him take her home instead. But all it did was make him readjust himself in his seat and pull away from her rather coldly.

Lee was irritated with her, she got him all hard, but he did his best to temper his anger. She's lucky that he was on the job all day and didn't have a chance to drink yet or else she'd see the side of him that he purposely hid from her.

"Don't be nervous baby. You know I love you right?" She nodded her head with her wide eyes holding a sad look in them, "good girl. Let me show you something."

Lee patted his lap and Y/n looked at him with apprehension.

"C'mon now," he patted his lap once again, this time with a bit of impatience in his voice.

Y/n awkwardly shifted over the center console of his patrol car and found herself in his lap. His strong arms wrapped around her waist and he rested his chin on her shoulder. She tried to ignore how his bulge poked at her slit through her cotton panties.

"You ever been in a car this nice before?"

"Uh-uh," she shook her head, somewhat distracted by the beautiful interior and his cock poking at her. The only car she's ever drove was the shitty one that was passed down to her. Lee's patrol car doesn't look like it's more than five years old.

Seeing her look in wonder at the dash made him even harder. He began to rut against her, trying to feel as much friction as he could, but it wasn't enough to satiate a man who has been waiting a few months for this.

He sat back and started fumbling with his pants. Y/n heard the sound of the metal on his belt and unzipping of his pants but she froze on top of him instead of moving. She grabbed the steering wheel and held onto it as tight as she did the night he first laid eyes on her. Her alarm rose when Lee lifted her up a little to push her panties to the side.

"Lee what are you doing-"

"Shhh baby don't worry, I got you."

The sensation of his head poking at her slit and her sliding down him was unspeakable. She was uncomfortable with his splitting size, but he didn't move her at all, trying to give her some time to adjust but it was just so hard for him to restrain himself. She was so tight and warm, and definitely untouched by any man. "Fuck," he mumbled warmly in her ear. She felt him wrap his arm tighter around her, almost as if he was afraid she was going to somehow run away from him. Even if she wanted to, she wouldn't know her way back home and she'd be stuck out here. She was safe with Lee even though she found herself feeling more confusion than pleasure.

Those girls from her high school days had to been lying to her, sex didn’t feel all that magical; his patrol car was not a romantic place to lose her virginity. Lee rocked her on his cock slowly as she tried to find the same pleasure that he was experiencing. His heavy breath was on her ear as she stared straight up into the night sky.

"You feel so good. You feel so fucking good baby."

His pleasure is what made her want to stay on top of him like this. She cared for him so much and she just wanted Lee to be proud of her. The "good girl" that continuously spilled from his lips sounded like a hymn she wanted to memorize.

Y/n let Lee have his way with her body. He groped her breast through her dress and then let his hands graze her sides. She wondered what he was doing when his hand slipped into her panties, but the warmth that shot through her made her mind go blank. Lee rubbed at her sensitive bud and she constricted around him. Instead of whimpering, she was now fully moaning; the way it felt so good had put her discomfort into the back of her mind.

"Oh fuck -- move your hips girl. You feel so good."

He rubbed her harder as a reward for swirling her hips against him. She began to bounce on top of him and he no longer had to do the hard work, just lean back and feel her engulfing him in her warmth.

"Lee," she whimpered, unsure of herself, but then she called his name again, "Lee," as if to let him know that he was the one giving her pleasure.

Lee knew he wasn't going to last, not when she was as tight and wet as she was. He can't remember the last time he took someone's virginity, nor when he was this hard. It was clear to him that she had no idea what she was doing by the way she bounced on him without a rhythm. Sometimes she'd stall herself before moving fast again. It didn't irk him, he found it endearing that she was so inexperienced. He was going to have to show her a lot of things and get her to fuck him to his liking.

Y/n gasped when Lee pulled out of her and jerked himself until white liquid was splashing on the back of her panties. She'd have to wash them before her mother saw the stain.

"You did so good baby, taking my cock like a big girl," he placed a sloppy kiss on her cheek, still trying to catch his breath while she shifted on top of him. He put himself away and nudged her towards the empty passenger seat. She was silent the entire time he drove her home. A sense of pride filled her because she had made Lee feel good. The sex itself was too weird to describe as being good, but she liked how she felt inside when he told her she felt good and that she made him cum. That's all she wanted to do was please Lee.

-

Saturday morning proved to be another beautiful day. It seems as if Summer didn't want to leave just yet even though October was near. There wouldn't be many more opportunities for Lee to make his impressions and sway the last few voters not on his side.

The event had been boring at most, but Sally's words really shook her up. No one in town would deny that Mrs. Blackwater has always been a bitter women, but they also wouldn't necessarily turn the other cheek if she starts going around saying that Lee Bodecker is a murder. Y/n's new problem made her forget about the decaying brothel owner. She doesn't care how mean the whole town thought the old woman was, she wanted her gone.

"You slept in. Did I tire you out last night?" Lee had the same smug smirk on his face that has been imprinted on her brains since their early years together.

Y/n nodded even though it wasn't completely truthful. She slept so hard because she's mentally spent and it was finally catching up with her body. Lee had been too distracted to notice how distant she was last night and how she is still distant now. In his eyes, as long as she was eager to lay under him then everything was fine.

Most mornings started like this: Y/n waking up next to her still tired husband and waiting to hear her daughter crying for her. He trudged out of bed and she heard him beat a path down the hall to the bathroom. There was still no sound of her daughter needing her, giving her some time alone. It was nearly silent except for the faint sound of the shower going. She breathed deeply and found herself feeling serene. Just five minutes without the memory of Sally threatening to pull her and her husband's support taunting her.

"Y/n! Do you not hear her crying?" Lee held a stern look on face, he must have been standing there for a few minutes. His towel was wrapped around his waist, stomach hanging over the soft white cotton, "what's wrong with you girl?"

She shook her head, "nothing Lee. I'm just still a lil' tired."

His face softened at her explanation but he nodded his head towards the door so she could take care of their daughter. Y/n hurried not to upset him for the rest of the day.

Their baby was just fussy and hungry. Her little eyes weren’t that red so she hadn’t been crying for long. “You hungry?” Her daughter somewhat understood what her mother was saying because her eyes went wide. The nightgowns Lee had bought Y/n made it much easier for her to pull herself out of them to feed their girl. She could see her daughter calming down, eyes closing once again. Y/n thought about keeping her daughter with her but she needed to rest in her crib. She placed her down gently as not to disturb and wake her again. At least one person in this family deserves peace.

"Back to sleep?" Lee's voice startled her, but the hand on her hip soothed her. Y/n nodded, never taking her eyes away from her girl. "Precious isn't she? So sweet when she's not fussin' about."

"She only fusses because she's teething, and she misses her father."

"Honey, you know why I'm at work longer than usual. It's for her. It's for you. It's for us. Do you know how much better her life, your life, is going to be better after I win that race?"

"But what if you don't win?"

Y/n rarely questions Lee, not even over small things, so he was confused as to why she was questioning him now. Did his wife not believe in him? She worried a lot, but when he first ran for sheriff, she was not this doubtful.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Lee, I didn't say that. It's just that people been talkin' and -"

"And you believe them? So my own wife doesn't think I'm going to win because a few people can’t got some things wrong?”

Y/n flinched as his voice got louder. The brashness of his voice woke their girl up from her attempt to fall into a deep sleep. Instead of waking up and silently looking around, the first thing that came from her was a cry. It served as a way for Y/n to escape Lee's wrath. She pulled her crying daughter into her arms and held her close to her chest. One glance at Lee's face and she knew he was going to deal with her later. But for now he just sighed and walked out of the nursery.

"Aww don't cry honey. It was just your daddy, okay? He's not mad at you sweetheart. Don't cry...don't cry," Y/n's voice cracked and tears slipped down her face. Her pleas were more for herself than they were her daughter.

Lee's hesitance to address the obvious problems he faces in regards to the election made Y/n feel uneasy. All she wanted was for her husband to just outright say he never did those things, but he never did. And if Y/n has resulted to murder, then she knows deep down that he did some of those things that people allege. There were just things that were too loud to drown out. The business when it came to solving a string of murders that happened a few years ago and people talking about him didn't affect him when he was going for re-election. There was no one else that had a strong enough presence to go against him and the folks in town figured that Lee gets enough done as far as crime goes, even though he could do more.

Y/n should be tired of trying to clean up his mess when he was so short with her. However it is not entirely his fault; he does not know. Maybe one day he'll learn and be grateful for what she has done for him.

-

Lee just couldn't stop reminding her that Sandy and Carl were coming over. It's almost as if he knew it got under Y/n's skin and used it against her after she hurt his feelings this morning. He's a sensitive one, even though he hides it well from most people, but her moment of vulnerability wasn't meant to hurt him. Though if their conversation had progressed any further, she might have spilled what she did to the brothel owner. She may want to believe Lee would be proud of her, but she cannot be so sure. It's sickening to assume that someone would be proud of a murder. She quickly began to feel dirty after a few minutes with her own thoughts ever since Lee snapped at her.

"Can you clean up? We're going to be having guests soon."

There were just a few baby toys on the floor but it was best not to make things worse with Lee (even though those toys were going to end up in the same place anyway).

Lee stepped outside as Y/n put their daughter in her high chair. Ever since her birth Lee was mindful not to smoke in the house; it was one of the house rules Y/n proposed that he was surprisingly very accepting of. She had taken away most of the things that he used to destress: alcohol, cigarettes, and candies.

She heard the motor of a car and Lee's muffled voice. She knew it was them, but hoped they were just making a short trip over. It's not like Lee likes Carl, and he's constantly complaining about his trouble making sister. Y/n hates that Sandy uses their daughter as an excuse to come over. She wouldn't mind if Sandy came alone, but she hated Carl around her little girl and she's sure Lee feels the same way.

Y/n's mother had gotten their daughter such a stupid gift when she was born. A baby that's not even half a year old yet didn't need a toy that had a million little pieces they could easily choke on, but of course it was her favorite thing to place with. Lee never cleaned up the mess, it was always Y/n who was doing it. She tried her best to pick everything up before they stepped inside but she heard the front door open. She tensed up, but she only heard the heavy footsteps of one person, and god did she hope it was Lee.

"What you doin' down there?"

Her eyes trailed up and Carl was gazing down at her. Words got caught in her throat and she clutched her hand around one of the toy pieces, the edges of it painfully digging into her palm.

"Did I scare you?"

The smirk on her face made her want to shriek. She noted that he didn't call her "darlin'" like he used to. She can only guess what Lee did to him when he "took him out back" after calling her that for a few years.

"Where's my niece?"

Y/n shot up, not caring about the toys still on the floor. She'll be damned if Carl is alone with her daughter for even a second.

Sandy came in with Lee following behind her. He gave Y/n a look of understanding, he too hoped this was going to be a short visit. The sound of Sandy fawning over her niece overtook the room. Their daughter giggled and babbled at her aunt as if she could understand her.

"Y/n go make us some ice tea."

Usually Lee doesn't command her to do things, unless he was stressed or horny. She knew her was the former by the look on his face. He was aggravated and this visit wasn't going to make him feel any better. As Y/n left the room, Sandy sat down on their couch with their daughter in her arms. Carl sat next to them, making the alarm in Lee rise.

"I got you something honey," she pulled out a little doll from her purse. It looked tattered and Lee wondered where she got it from.

"You know she already has enough dollies," Lee joked. It didn't matter to his girl, it was a new toy, "got anything for your brother?"

Sandy eyes him before pulling out a small bag of candy. She tossed it to him and he caught it, "I knew you'd ask for somethin'"

He opened it and instantly popped a sweet cherry candy into his mouth.

"Y/n's not letting me drink since the girl is so young. This is the only thing I got, even though she's on my ass about that too," Lee knew that Sandy wasn't too interested in the ins-and-outs of his everyday life but he gets tired of complaining to his deputies.

"Yea, I bet," she kept a snide comment about her sister-in-law to herself. The box of cigarettes she had calling her name we're going to have to wait. "How's that mayor race going?"

"It's going."

"Heard that whore house owner croaked," Carl's voice carried to the kitchen and Y/n paused, "found in unusual circumstances...chairs pushed up against the door...poisoned. Reckon one of those girls got tired of him holdin' them down-"

"No smoking in the house," Lee interrupted when he noticed Carl reaching for the pack of cigarettes in his shirt pocket. Carl laughed as if he wanted to challenge Lee, but his hand went back to resting on the back of the couch.

"Wouldn't want this little darlin' smellin' like a bar."

Anytime Carl spoke at or about her daughter, Y/n wanted to vomit. Carl is not nice. She wonders how twisted Sandy might be to marry someone who is awful to women and has no filter.

There was a cloud of fear over her head when Carl was around. She wishes Lee was more apprehensive but Sandy's his little sister, and he cares for her no matter how much those two causes. Things would be different if Y/n had told Lee about that time Carl pressed himself against and put his hand up the skirt of her dress. His threat would forever bounce off her skull and it only got louder when he was near. "Shut you're fucking mouth or else your husbands gonna see his slut wife bending over for another man." She was five months pregnant and had no way to defend herself. He only groped her, but she always wondered if he would've gone further if Sandy hadn't come in looking for the cooking tongs Lee told her to fetch. Sandy knew something had happened, but she said nothing. Y/n's disdain for her only grew from that day on.

Lee redirected the conversation from what Carl had started to something a bit more asinine. He didn't want to talk about something work-related because he didn't need to be stressed out any further. Reed’s death wasn't another blow to his reputation like Lee thought it would. It was going to be another unsolved murder from the way it was looking though. The people assumed one of the girls did it. The place had been emptied out; it surely looked different from when Lee was last in there. Lee was lucky that Reed was extremely disliked, unlike that preacher Roy who died some years ago. More people said "he had it coming" instead of "why isn't the sheriff doing anything?"

He laughed about it though. When he was alone in the car after leaving the crime scene, he laughed. There was no more worrying about the rumor that Sheriff Lee Bodecker beat one of his girls. When Lee did go to that place, he was never forceful. Lee could be mean towards women at times, but he was never violent.

-

If Lee was called in on a Sunday morning, then it was very important. He woke Y/n up at 5 am and kissed her out of her confused state to say goodbye. She only slept for another hour after laying her head down back on the pillow.

This morning felt so different.

The morning she woke up knowing her task was to deal with Reed, she was distracted and jumpy. But she had grown so accustomed to her guilt that it's become a comfortable feeling. Mrs. Blackwater was a more personal score to settle. That woman was throwing dirt on Lee's name, but the turmoil she caused her teenage friend would never leave her mind. Y/n had learned how cruel someone could be without physically hurting you. The boys on school grounds were annoying brats, but that woman had a truly awful mouth.

The Petersons’ daughter was over right after church. She had a wide smile on her face, happy that Mrs. Bodecker was giving her another opportunity to make some money.

"She's been a fairly good mood lately," Y/n handed her daughter off to the shorter teenage girl, "she slept through the night for once, but she's still gonna need a nap. Once she starts fussin' put her in her crib. I should be back before Lee."

Y/n wished her well and the Petersons girl wished Y/n a good time running her errands. It was comical to think of this as an errand, even though today she was going to treat it like one.

She was in Lee's nice car again meaning she was going to have to temporarily get rid of it. Y/n put much more effort into this, her haphazard plan to take out Reed could've gone horribly wrong. She spent her time snooping around town when she was out with one of her mom friends. The plan had been simple: park the car at the crowded grocery just two blocks away from the Blackwater house. The house sat at the end of the street, a bit separated from the other row of houses because of the larger amount of land they owned. It wouldn't be a problem to walk to the house seeing as others in this neighborhood do the same thing.

When her mother had made that dress for her to wear to the Spring Formal, Y/n cried, saying she was going to look like a nurse instead of "the prettiest girl in town" like Jim, the guy who asked her to the dance said. A teenage grievance had somehow come in handy almost a decade later. It was under a long coat that was a bit abnormal for this warm day.

Y/n felt sickly confident. That only thing she worried about was Lee cruising through and seeing his car in the parking lot. But the grocery store offered a great cover. The sun was covered by a thick cloud as she walked away from the grocery store and to the old Blackwater house.

That porch still looked the same. It was old and rickety, squeaking as she stepped on it, she's surprised it didn't give it away some years ago. The rocking chair Mrs. Blackwater sat on while terrorizing people was no longer there. At least her days of scaring off the newer generation of kids were over.

Y/n knocked on the door and waited. She had to knock again, and by the third time she wondered if the old lady did the job for her!

"Who is it?" The voice was much more frail, but it was that voice.

"I'm here to help!" The upturn of her voice at the end made her statement sound more like a question.

The locks on the door began to click and Mrs. Blackwater peered at her.

"You're not the one they always send."

"Oh, she's sick today! I'm just filling in for her today!" After two weeks of watching, Y/n learned what days Mrs. Blackwater's nurse came and went. She came everyday but she was absent on Sundays. It's somewhat astounding that Mrs. Blackwater didn't ask about Y/n turning up on a Sunday.

"Ahh whatever," she dismissed, unlocking the screen door, and wheeling backwards in the wheelchair that she had been relegated to a few years ago.

Y/n didn't know what to expect when she stepped inside, but it wasn't too far off from how her parent's house looked; black and white photos littering the walls and stacks of paper that probably could've been thrown away a decade ago. What is different from her parent's home is that this place is an utter mess. The nurse that usually comes to take care of her could at least tidy it up a bit. With how much she hated everything, Y/n would've assumed she hated mess too, but her home says otherwise. This lady was an absolute hoarder.

"Don't bother me," Mrs. Blackwater sniped at her. She wheeled herself next to the couch and glued her eyes to the black and white television screen.

Y/n doesn't know how many hours Mrs. Blackwater spent sitting there and watching The Andy Griffin Show. She didn't laugh when something funny happened, she just sat there still, sometimes grumbling to herself in reaction to what was happening on screen.

The least Y/n could do was tidy up a bit. It would be a kind gesture to leave her to die in a presentable place.

Mrs. Blackwater is not going to die a violent death. She was awful, but she did not deserve the brutality like someone who has done physical harm did. (If she was just a little bit braver, she would've hacked him to death, but the sight of blood makes her ill). Mrs. Blackwater was up in age, nearing her 90s, and it would be time for her to go soon anyway. Y/n dusted around the TV, one of the last things this old woman may see. All the photos of people on the walls were staring at her as she moved about cleaning the dust from the frames. So many people, many dead but most probably alive. Mrs. Blackwater had children and probably grandchildren but no one came to visit her. Her tongue was sharp, but how could no one come and visit their aging mother?

"Stop moving so damn much. Sit down girl."

The venom was still in her voice. It would never go away, at least not until she dies. This woman didn't appreciate anything and enjoyed being miserable. Y/n listened to her like that scared little teenager she used to be. She sat on the couch, a few feet away from Mrs. Blackwater who had not taken her eyes off the TV or moved at all. Y/n was spending time with a woman who was going to die at her hands today. If she's going to die then at least she's going to die doing what she loves; watching her shows and bitching out the closest person in reach.

She had only moved to grab the newspaper from the table on the other side of her. It was Friday's addition, Y/n could tell from the photo on the cover. She couldn't help but eye the old woman as she read the paper. It has been probably three hours and she hasn't even asked for anything to eat.

"People droppin' like flies in this shit hole."

Y/n's ears perked up, but she didn't say anything, she just let the lady talk.

"Leroy should know better not to do that shit here...especially with that corrupt sheriff around...would've had an easier time gettin' away with it in the city. Everyone in the city already does all that illegal shit so it probably wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Now he’s dead."

Y/n had heard that name before. She remembers vividly Lee chewing someone out on the phone and saying their name with contempt. Leroy, Leroy, Leroy. The name "Bobo" also came up in the conversation a few times. Y/n wanted to be mad at Mrs. Blackwater for referring to her husband as "corrupt" but something nagged at her to keep the conversation going for her sake.

"W-what do you mean?" Her voice cracked but it was ignored by the old woman.

"You must not be from here. Everyone knows that if you get caught up with that fat bastard sheriff you must be doin’ some awful shit. The only reason why he keeps gettin' re-elected is because everyone is scared of him. It doesn't matter how many babies that man has, he's a killer...dragging that man's body and fucking up carnations..."

No one had ever talked to Mrs. Bodecker about her husband like this. Town gossipers had the decency to wait until she left the room to say something about him. But she's not Mrs. Bodecker right now. It does not matter anyway because the old lady doesn't know what she's talking about. She hasn't spent the hours with Lee, with him being sweet and so soft with his daughter. Y/n firmly believes that if Lee did indeed kill someone then it was for a good reason. She knows her husband involves himself in dirty things, but it had to be for a good reason. Lee did not show brutality for no reason; he didn't get his rocks off on hurting innocent people.

"People can change. I'm sure he's a different man now."

"Why!? Because he got a bitch and a bastard? You are too naïve...at least the other girl they send has some more sense in her head. No man is going to want to marry a dumb girl."

An awkward silence surrounded them but it was mostly felt by Y/n. She found herself frozen with a ball of rage and anxiety in her stomach. But she had no time to dwell for much longer though.

"I'm thirsty...go make me something."

Y/n noticed Mrs. Blackwater flinching when she grabbed the remote to turn the volume higher. She either had arthritis or just pain in her hands.

"Okay...do you need to take any pills at this time?"

"My husbands gone and my children don't visit me. You think I care about taking my pills?"

Maybe Mrs. Blackwater would be kind to her if she knew Y/n was going to take her out of her misery. Breaking open the capsules and dumping it in the tea she made for her is going to do the job. She might succumb to a heart attack, or pass peacefully. The only person Y/n felt bad for was the poor nurse who was going to find her dead tomorrow morning.

-

Lee was able to leave his shift earlier than expected. Sundays are very quiet, the only thing he got up to was paperwork at the station. He could go home early to his wife, play with the girl while Y/n makes dinner, and get a nice ride from his wife while their daughter sleeps. Y/n said something about needing him to pick up some chicken stock from the grocery store.

People filled in and out of the grocery store as the sun began to set. A few people spoke to him, never for too long knowing that he's not fond of small talk. But more people being friendly with him was a good sign. Even without his sweet wife next to him, no one shied away from saying hello to the man running for Mayor.

Two boxes of chicken stock should be enough even though his wife sent him for three. The brand she likes isn’t exactly cheap. Lee promptly made his way to the cashier who greeted him with a smile.

"Good evening sheriff!" her voice was sweet and she batted her eyes a few times. Lee offered her a smile, but a small laugh escaped. This girl couldn't be younger than 20 but she fawned over him like a young school girl. Her behavior reminded him of Y/n when she was that age. "Darlene said she saw your car in the parking lot but didn't get a chance to catch Mrs. Bodecker herself."

Lee stopped caring about the items (a few snuck in there for him) being rung up. His brows furrowed and the girl realized that she had said something maybe she shouldn't have.

"My wife was here?"

"That's what Darlene said. Her shift ended right as I was coming in so I wasn't there when it happened...do you still want the chicken stock?"

"Yea yea just ring it up."

Lee's mind was too preoccupied with the weird behavior his wife has been exhibiting for the last several weeks. She often hovered over him when he was on the phone like she was interested in what he was talking about. All the swearing and terms she didn't understand kept her from asking what his loud, and often abrasive, phone conversations were about. But now she was listening a little too hard for his liking.

The only time Y/n was supposed to drive their car is if Lee told her she could or if there was an emergency. A trip to the grocery store did not fall under either of those categories. But it was particularly weird to him that she would go to the store when she told him to go himself. If she had forgotten something, she would have not hesitated to call the station. Something was up with her.

Everything felt normal as he stepped into the house. The smell of what she was cooking hit his nose and the familiar noises of his daughter babbling louder than the Y/n moving around the kitchen. If he had no questions for his wife, then he'd feel all warm inside walking into his home in this current state.

Y/n was talking to their daughter as if she was holding a real conversation with her. Their daughter started squealing when she saw Lee appear in the doorway. He put his index finger to his lips to tell her to quiet herself, but she was only louder.

"I couldn't believe it either! They said the hairdresser purposefully dyed Marie's hair darker," she spoke, thinking her daughter was just squealing because she was talking to her and not because her husband was creeping up behind her.

Hands snaked around her waist and she nearly jumped. "Oh yea? Is that what the town is gossipin' about today?" Lee's familiar voice soothed her and she turned around in his arms. She deftly kissed him and looked up at him.

"Wanna know what else I heard?" He whispered to her. Y/n nodded, a smile spreading on her face as she rested her forehead against his, "heard the sheriff's wife been out and about and driving his nice car."

Y/n's smile fell from her face, but it only made Lee smile wider.

"You wanna tell me what you were doing out?"

"I needed something from the store."

"So my task to pick up the chicken stock after work was for nothing?"

"No...I went to my parents house...didn't want to go empty-handed. You know how my mother gets."

What a sweet little liar.

But she still had the smell of an old house lingering around her so maybe it wasn’t completely a lie. Still, he knew something was up with her.

“How was work?” She quickly tried to change the subject. Lee was not really in the mood to interrogate her, it was Sunday after all. He sat down in the chair next to his daughter's high chair. She started reaching for his hat but he was too far away, so Lee rested his head on the tray and let her have her fun. Y/n was probably going to be mad at him for putting his head where she eats and getting all of his “outside germs” all over it, but he didn’t care.

“I’m tired,” he confessed, a heavy sigh escaping him, “I’m really fucking tired.”

Y/n wishes she could lift more of her husband’s burdens. Killing people who were talking about him did not get rid of the core problem. Sometimes she wishes he never decided to run for mayor. Life was so much more comfortable when he would run unopposed for county sheriff. Instead her husband had a bigger dream. From the very beginning she felt like it was a long shot that this would be successful, but they had gotten so far in changing how most of the people viewed Lee. And even though they felt a way about him, they still respected the sheriff.

“It’s going to be over soon. I promise.”

He truly wanted to believe her, but the sinking feeling that the past was going to catch up with him was not going away.

[moonylantsovs]

Unlikely Match [ J.M ]

summary: You found yourself stumbling into Bellamy's tent at a really inconvenient moment, experiencing your first heartbreak, never expecting John Murphy to be the one to pick up the pieces.

pairings: john murphy x griffin!reader, slight bellamy blake x griffin!reader

warnings: angst, swearing, mentions of sex

A/N: This is an au for maggie's (@slytherinbarnes) bellamy blake series called 'sub rosa'. It isn't necessary for you to read it before this but I'd recommend you to because it's amazing! Also, this was supposed to be longer but my phone deleted it the first time I wrote it so this is the rewritten version

𝗆𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍

You wouldn't call this a usual day at the delinquent camp, but it was close enough. Especially after everything you experienced in the past week. From a kid jumping off a cliff in front of you and making a decision to banish one of your own, to a mechanic flying down to Earth in a pod so you could contact The Ark and to John Murphy stumbling into camp, beaten up and carrying a disease you can't remember the exact details of the situation - that was always your sister's stronger side - but you can remember it spread like wildfire and it created complete chaos in camp.

But that was what the grounders wanted. To start killing your people off one by one from the inside. And John was the key. 

You didn't blame him for it of course, he wasn't aware that the grounders made him a walking contagious disease. But he was aware he gave them information about everything he knew about your camp so yeah, you were a little pissed about that.

Not as much as Bellamy was though, if you asked him he'd let John back into the woods without the care if the grounders captured him or not. You and your twin sister - Clarke Griffin - cared though and that was the only reason he was in camp right now and not running around the woods, alone.

You remembered Bellamy's words when you told him John wouldn't be a danger to camp. 

"Fine, he can stay. But he doesn't leave this camp or get a gun. He's your responsibility. So if he does anything, it's on you."

Truth is, Bellamy didn't mean what he said. He was just pissed John was staying after everything that happened with Charlotte. He knew it and you knew it too, so you brushed off his words and went back to camp, still choosing to keep a close eye on John during the next few days.

Now, you were making your way to Bellamy's tent. You weren't sure if you were going inside to apologize for how harsh your words towards him were during your fight or if you were coming to him as one leader to another so you could set things right and make the job of leading easier.

Deep down, you knew it was the first option but you didn't want to face your true feelings for him just yet. You wanted to at least wait until the war with the grounders was over before starting anything with him.

You stepped into the tent, calling his name, only to come face to face with a scene you never wanted to see again, it made you feel both nauseous and mad. 

Raven stopped putting her shirt on and her eyes widened at the sight of your figure standing at the entrance of the tent. You quickly put your hand over your chest, blocking out Bellamy's wide, guilt-written eyes.

"Sorry--" you stammered "I-- uh some people aren't back from hunting yet, so come find me when you're . . . done."

Ignoring Bellamy calling your name, you turned around and made your way past the delinquents that were still outside their tents and to the camp gate. The two kids that were guarding the gate were Miller and Starling, knew not to question why you - one of their leaders - was going outside camp, especially after seeing you already had a gun on you, and they let you out.

You needed to clear your head, the picture of Bellamy and Raven in the same bed half-naked was tattooed in your brain and you needed to get it out before you explode. You needed Clarke. But Clarke was still out with Finn and Myles, probably lost and you needed to find her but to do that you'd have to be able to look Bellamy in the eyes and you knew you wouldn't be able to do that.

A snap of a twig made you aim your gun - which you still didn't know how to shoot properly - at the bush the noise came from.

"Relax, Princess. I'm not planning on killing you anytime soon."

You recognized the voice belonged to John Murphy and immediately dropped the gun "What the hell, Murphy?"

He cleared his throat awkwardly "I uh-- saw you run out and then I saw Raven coming out of Bellamy's tent so I kinda connected the dots."

"And you were allowed out of camp why?"

"Because Miller saw it too and got worried so he let me out." John admitted, looking at you almost sheepishly.

You nodded in understanding and looked back down. The two of you never really interacted at a time he wasn't an asshole or tried to kill someone. He was the camp's psychopath and you were the invisible Griffin twin that hid in her parent's closet.

"Why wouldn't you kill me?" you asked hesitantly "I'm one of the reasons you got banished."

He nodded, rubbing his chin slightly "Yeah but you're also the reason I'm allowed to stay here. Plus telling Bellamy you'd keep an eye on me isn't a job anyone would take."

"How do you--"

"You're not very subtle." he interrupted with a chuckle "I saw you following me around camp with your eyes too many times for me to count."

Now it was your turn to smile sheepishly "Sorry."

"It's fine." John brushed it off with a shrug before noticing the sadness in your eyes and speaking up again "Bellamy's an idiot, you know that right?"

You scoffed at his words and shook your head only for him to speak up again "Well only an idiot would choose a one night stand over Y/N Griffin."

Both of you were surprised by the sincerity in his words. John felt a sudden feeling of vulnerability shoot through his body and he didn't like it one bit so he quickly plastered on his usual cocky smirk and added "I mean if you ever want to get back at him I'm right here."

You gave him a deadpan look "In your dreams, Murphy."

I mean yeah. He thought bluntly before shaking those thoughts away and grinning "Never said you need to sleep with me, Princess. There'd be a little payback both ways by making the king jealous. Just sayin'."

"Wouldn't you like that? you chuckled teasingly.

Yes he would. Because John Murphy could never get himself to figure out why someone as smart and as beautiful as you could fall for someone like Bellamy Blake. It's not like he's any better, but it just made him dislike the male even more.

"You know he doesn't deserve you, right?" John asked after a bit of surprisingly peaceful silence.

You just shrugged at his words, nor believing a word he said. But not because he had a habit of lying every time he opened his annoyingly smartass mouth. It was because you really couldn't see it. Raven was beautiful, the smartest person in camp, if not on Earth, and everything you didn't think you were.

Why would anyone think any different?

Noticing you didn't believe his words, John sighed and gave you a small smile "Well for your information, I'd pick you over anyone else any day."

"I thought the big bad Murphy didn't need anyone."

He stared at you for a few seconds with something unrecognizable in his eye and you were about to open your mouth to ask if there was something on your face when he beat you to it "Do you even know what my real name actually is?"

You narrowed your eyes in thought before a look of realization passed over your face "Wait 'Murphy' isn't your real name?"

"No. But it's last name and I go by it. My first name is John."

Before you could stop yourself you let out a snort - some would say it was completely unattractive but John thought it was adorable - followed by a chuckle as you repeated his name in disbelief "John?"

Said bot squinted his eyes at your amused, no longer heartbroken face, and asked "What?"

You shook your head with another chuckle "I never would have pegged you for a 'John'." 

"And I never would have pegged you for a girl that falls for someone like Bellamy Blake." 

He didn't even realize what he said until he did and was about to apologize, maybe begged you not to slap him but you laughed instead and nodded in amused "Touché."

And that's how you spent the rest of the night, sitting on a log right outside of camp and talking. Sharing stories about how each of you grew up and growing closer than you thought you ever would with someone like John Murphy.

But I guess there's a first time for everything.