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kwanisms · 2 years ago

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Sweat for Me - h.zitao

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➥ dom!Tao × sub!Reader

summary: while visiting a nightclub with your friends while on vacation in Shanghai, you meet a man who not only blows you away with his impeccable conversation but also his ability to listen to you.

Or the one where a man actually listens to you talk and you find that incredibly sexy, so you agree to go back to his hotel. Did I mention he's got a huge --

wc: 4.5k

warnings: adult dialogue, alcohol consumption, female reader, smaller reader, sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut!

permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @wonderfulshinee @candidupped @dejavernon @violagoth @tigermoonbiss @katsukis1wife @luvsooby

exo taglist: @cixrosie

special tags: @stardragongalaxy @kpop-stories-21

join my taglists: permanent | group.

a/n: I'm only writing this cause @anyamaris has been torturing me with Tao for the last few days in the CoDn discord. So now she can suffer with me 🙃 also, I've never actually written for Tao before so pls be gentle with me. I was listening to Sweat by Zayn when this idea popped up so listen to that to get the vibe I was going for lol as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. banner made by me. I do not allow reposts or translations of my works. All my works are ©️ kwanisms.

smut warnings: oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), mutiple orgasms (and reader passes out for like 10 seconds), dom!Tao, he's got a big dick, edging (f receiving), choking, spitting, dirty talk, praise, use of pet names (baby, sweetheart, princess, etc), creampie, slight daddy kink (but u gotta squint real hard), and I think that's all but let me know if I missed anything!

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How you ended up in this strange hotel room in the heart of Shanghai, you couldn't remember. At least not at first.

Initially, all you could remember of the previous night was the flashing lights of the club you'd visited with a few of your girlfriends, downing a few drinks and shots and dancing.

As you started to wake, memories came flooding back. Memories of a tall, handsome stranger joining you at the bar, buying you a few drinks, and asking you to leave with him. The same man who was lying tangled in the sheets next to you in what you assumed was his hotel room.

You groaned as the headache of what was surely the start of a hangover set in and lay there with your eyes closed as you tried to remember exactly what had happened last night.

"You look awfully lonely over here," a voice said suddenly, making you look up from your almost empty drink. A morning star and the only drink you ordered during this stretch of your trip.

Turning your head, you were met by a pair of dark brown eyes belonging to possibly the most handsome man you'd ever laid eyes on. You stared at him, longer than you intended, before finally speaking.

"Uh, sorry," you murmured, looking back down at the melting ice in your glass. The man smiled, amused by your reaction. "May I?" he asked, placing a hand on the back of the bar chair next to you.

You gestured towards the seat, silently telling him to have it.

He thanked you softly as he took a seat beside you, nodding at the bartender who quickly moved down the bar to take his order.

"I'll have a double whiskey, neat," he said, pulling a card from his wallet. You almost missed the way he turned to glance at you before looking back at the bartender.

"And a refill of whatever she's drinking."

You glanced up as the bartender nodded, taking the man's card to open a tab. You leaned forward to get a look at his face. "You don't have to do that," you said, aware of how annoyed you sound.

"I can pay for my own drinks."

The man smiled, not a smug smile, more of an amused yet kind smile before looking up to meet your gaze. "I'm sure you can but I'm also allowed to spend my money how I want, aren't I?" At this, he tilted his head, that same smile on his lips.

You nodded slowly and watched as he sat up straight, tapping his thumbs on the countertop to a beat only he seemed to be able to hear. After staring at him for a couple minutes, the bartender returned with the drinks, setting a short glass full of amber colored liquor before the man and a fresh glass in front of you.

You thanked the bartender, still staring at the man next to you as he raised his glass to take a sip of his drink. He chuckled to himself as he set his drink down. "You know," he started, turning his head to look you dead in the eye.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's rude to stare?"

You felt the burn of embarrassment as you tore your gaze away, focusing instead on your drink. "Sorry," you murmured.

You took a sip of the fruity concoction, almost sighing as the coconut hit your palate. You were aware the man was still staring at you. 'Oh how the tables have turned.'

"So, do you follow your own advice or just tell others what to do?"

The man laughed, looking down at his drink. "You're right. I'm sorry," he apologized. "Very rude of me. I should practice what I preach." It was your turn to smile, biting back a laugh by taking another sip of your drink.

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence interrupted only by the music and deep bass of the club music. "So," you started, finally breaking the silence. "Do you have a name?"

The man smiled, leaning against the bar and turning his head to look at you. "I do," he said with a nod. You waited but he said nothing until he met your gaze.

"Oh, you wanted to know what it is?"

You narrowed your eyes at him. "I figured that would be obvious."

He chuckled again before offering his hand for you to shake. You took it hesitantly, glancing up to meet his gaze once more.

"Tao," he said, the same smile from before back. "You can call me Tao." You shook his hand before introducing yourself. "I'm Y/N."

Tao lifted his glass, taking another sip and setting it back down.

"It's nice to meet you, Y/N."

You didn't know what it was about Tao but talking to him seemed like the easiest thing in the world. While your friends were on the dance floor, drunkenly dancing with a few men your group had met a couple nights ago, you found yourself moving to an empty table to talk to Tao, telling him about your 3 month long vacation that was coming to an end.

Not only was he intriguing to listen to but he actually listened to you. He made a point of asking you lots of specific questions about the subjects you brought up.

It was not only refreshing to have someone actually listen to you, it was also incredibly attractive.

You were finishing up your third round of drinks when Tao seemingly made his move. He scooted closer, taking your drink and setting it on the table.

You were vaguely aware he was about to say something but you were distracted by his close proximity and the warmth radiating off his body.

"Look," he said softly. "I don't normally do this but I think you're incredible. Not only are you funny and adventurous but you're insanely gorgeous and I know I'd regret it if I didn't ask you if you'd like to leave with me."

Your heart hammered in your chest as he spoke, eyes darting between his eyes and his lips as he spoke. "If you don't, I won't be mad. I just know I need to shoot my shot before it's too late and-"

You cut him off with a quick kiss and pulled back, grinning triumphantly at the look of shock on his face. "I'd love to."

The ride from the club to his hotel was no more than 15 minutes but it felt longer as you could feel his eyes on you. It took everything in you not to straddle him in the back of the taxi.

That would have been embarrassing.

Instead, you were able to keep your composure until you reached his hotel room, waiting patiently as he unlocked the door with his keycard. Once inside, all grace and dignity were tossed aside as Tao grabbed you by the back of your neck, pulling you into a rough kiss.

You'd expected him to be a little timid at first, testing the waters but instead he dove right in. His lips moved against yours with fervor, devouring each moan and whimper as his hands expertly tugged at and removed your clothes, leaving you in your underwear.

Fingers skimmed over your skin as he guided you to the bed, sitting you on the edge before he shrugged his jacket off. Your back hit the mattress as Tao kissed slowly up the inside of your thigh.

Your head spun as he carefully and rather expertly removed your panties with his teeth. To say you were flabbergasted was an understatement. Tao merely smirked, letting the cobalt blue lace fall from his mouth and onto the carpeted floor.

You barely had time to register your lower half was completely bare before you felt his tongue lick a slow strip up your slit, finding your clit with deft precision. The moment he had a taste, his hands held your hips in place as he dug right in, licking, teasing, nipping at the sensitive bud.

Your cheeks burned at the obscene and lewd wet sounds that filled the room, audible only when you weren't moaning Tao's name and whimpering, begging him for more.

Your back arched off the sheets, a thin layer of sweat covering your skin as your orgasm ebbed away for what felt like the third time. Your eyes glistened with unshed tears of frustration as Tao pulled away, chin and lips coated in your essence.

You would have been annoyed had it not been for the fact that Tao was clearly an expert at what he was doing and not only that, he seemed to really enjoy it. If the groans and the way he seemingly lost himself in your taste was anything to go by.

You barely had time to catch your breath before you were being guided to scoot further onto the bed. Somewhere in the time between Tao letting your orgasm slip away to him hovering over you, he'd rid himself of his clothes.

Tattoos you never could have guessed he had covered both his biceps. You didn't have the chance to ask him about them as his lips met yours, tongue slipping past when you moaned, feeling the weight of his cock rest against your wet pussy.

Although you couldn't see it, judging by the weight, you guessed it was about as thick as your wrist, and you would be almost correct.

You whined impatiently as Tao made no effort to move, to enter you properly.

Instead he savored your reactions, trying to move your hips enough to find friction. Your weak attempts to entice him. Though you didn't need to. He was more than willing and able.

Without word or warning, he guided the head of his cock to your sopping entrance and slowly pushed into you. You sucked in a sharp breath, trying not to gasp as the girth slowly stretched your walls, threatening to split you open.

"Oh fuck," you whined. You felt one of Tao's hands grab the back of your thigh, pushing your leg against your stomach and allowing him to sink deeper, faster. You'd never felt anything so deep before.

You let out a shaky moan as he bottomed out and only then did he say anything. "Holy shit. You're so fucking tight," he groaned, head dropping as he lost himself in the feeling of your warm walls enveloping him.

"Tao please," you whined. You didn't have another chance to speak as he complied to your unasked request, pulling out partly and snapping his hips forward. You let out a mix between a gasp and a yelp, surprised by the sheer force.

"Shit, I'm sorry," he almost cooed. "You okay, baby"

The nickname had you melting under him with a moan.

"Y-yes," you whimpered.

Satisfied he hadn't hurt you, Tao set a steady pace, one hand keeping your thigh in place while the other disappeared under the pillow under your head, using his forearm to keep himself from collapsing onto you.

"Fuck, you feel so goddamn good," you heard him groan, hips slamming into you repeatedly, punctuating his next sentence.

"So. Fucking. Good."

Each thrust had you seeing stars, incoherent moans of his name and curses tumbling from your lips as your mind tried to keep up but the only thought occupying your brain was how good his cock felt and how big it was.

"So big," you managed to whimper. Tao chuckled lightly, breath fanning over your cheek as he lowered himself closer to whisper in your ear. "Yeah? You like how my big cock feels in your tight little pussy?"

If you weren't an incoherent mess before, you certainly were now.

"You like how it feels? You like being stuffed full?"

You nodded quickly, unable to answer him. "Oh, such a good little girl, aren't you?" You cried out as he gave you a particularly harsh thrust.

"Taking all of it, just like good girls do," he continued, not missing the way your cunt convulsed around his cock. You were so easy for him to read. Like an open book.

Letting go of your thigh, his hand moved, fingers closing around your throat lightly. The simple action had your already cloudy brain emptying completely as you let yourself succumb to the first wave of your orgasm.

An intense pleasure, unlike any you'd ever felt before crashed over you, stars blinding your vision, heat spreading from your core throughout your body and down into your fingers and toes as they curled in pure ecstasy. Wanton moans and a slew of curses left your lips, Tao's name thrown into the mix.

Unaware Tao was watching you with a deep fascination, you let out a desperate whine, thighs encasing his waist as he helped you ride out your high. "That's it sweetheart," he all but whispered, his pace not slowing for a second.

"That's my good girl."

Your heart pounded in your chest, stomach doing flips at his subtle praise. "You're doing so well," you heard him say, his voice sounding so distant. Like he was far away.

As the aftershocks of your climax subsided and you started to focus on your surroundings, you felt Tao's hand on your neck move, gently cupping your cheek, thumb stroking your skin. "Hey," he whispered. You blinked a couple times as his face came into focus.

"There you are," he said with a chuckle. "Lost you for a second."

"W-what happened?"

"You must have passed out," he answered, looking mildly concerned. "Are you okay?"

You nodded, blinking as you looked around. "How long was I out?"

"Not long," he replied. "A good ten seconds though." At this, he smirked, looking particularly smug. "What?" you whined.

"Dick so good it'll make you pass out?" he asked. "Maybe I should add that to my portfolio." You rolled your eyes, ignoring his snickers. You tried to sit up but realized you weren't quite done.

"Are you still inside me?" you asked incredulously, making Tao laugh again. "You were only out for ten seconds at most, sugar," he answered. "Do you want to stop?" he asked, suddenly serious.

You shook your head quickly. Tao leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. "Then lay back down," he ordered. You did as he instructed, whimpering once as he gave you a couple of cautious thrusts before throwing himself back into it.

"Ah, shit!" you cursed, grabbing his forearm, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth. Tao took your chin firmly in his hand, leaning over you. "Open," he instructed. You hesitated, unsure of what he was going to do. "Open your mouth."

You did as he demanded, parting your lips. Tao leaned over further, spitting into your mouth before taking you into a searing kiss. Your walls clenched around him as your second climax approached rapidly.

Another deep thrust had you tumbling over the edge as you came a second time, a cry of Tao's name leaving your mouth.

As he helped you ride out your second orgasm, Tao's hips stuttered, his own orgasm impending. "Oh fuck," he groaned. "M'gonna cum."

"Do it," you mewled. "Cum inside me." Tao let out a breathy laugh. "Is that what you want, princess? Want me to cum inside this pretty little pussy and make it mine?"

You moaned in response, back arching of the bed.

"Is that what you want, baby?"

You weren't sure what drove you to say it but your response had an immediately profound reaction on him.

"Y-yes daddy!"

Tao dropped his head again, letting out an almost animalistic growl as his hips rammed against yours, pounding into you with renewed vigor. Each thrust had you nearly screaming.

Not wanting to risk complaining neighbors, Tao covered your mouth, muffling your cries. "Almost there, baby girl, almost there."

He offered hushed words of encouragement until the fluttering of your walls around his cock pushed Tao over the edge and he came with a low, husky moan, riding out his orgasm until his hips finally came to a halt as he stilled inside your cunt that was now full of not only his cock but also his cum.

Coming down from your respective highs, Tao was finally able to pull out of you and fall onto the bed beside you. You were well aware of his release spilling out of your abused hole but were far too tired to do anything about it.

Tao however did not hesitate to get up, grabbing his boxers from the floor as he disappeared into the bathroom only to return moments later with a wet warm washcloth. You started to drift off as he carefully wiped your skin clean until you felt him get off the bed and pad away.

Moments later, you felt the bed dip as he returned. The sheets rustled as he untucked them, pulling them back and carefully helping you under them.

The last thing you remembered was him turning the bedside lamp off before wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close and then it all went black.

Sitting up in a now illuminated hotel room, you were able to catch a glimpse of Tao, sleeping peacefully beside you. His hair was tousled, face half buried into his pillow. The covers were bunched up about halfway down his back, allowing you to see the tattoos that covered his biceps again in the light.

Deciding the best course of action was to gather your things, you slowly untangled yourself from the sheets and was about to scoot to the edge of the bed when a voice rang out. Albeit, a very sleepy one.

"Just where do you think you're going, little one?"

You turned to find Tao was not asleep and was now looking at you with his only visible eye. You knew you'd been busted but decided to play it off. "I thought I'd take a shower," you answered.

Tao raised his head to look at you properly. "Really?"

You nodded, looking down at him. He shrugged and rolled onto his back, reaching to grab his phone and check the time. "I'll call for breakfast," he announced as you got up from the bed and hurried into the bathroom.

Deciding a shower might actually be a good idea, you did just that, standing under the scalding water as you shampooed and conditioned your hair, scrubbed your body and washed away the remnants of last night's makeup.

Once you finished and got out, you were checking your appearance in the bathroom mirror when the door opened and Tao poked his head in. "Breakfast is here," he said before he opened the door further. "And I got you this."

In his hand he held a fluffy white robe. You took it, thanking him and he shut the door behind him, leaving you to change out of the towel and into the robe to save your dignity.

In the room, he'd already donned some sweatpants and a plain black tee and was looking over the food that had been delivered.

You hadn't gotten a good look at the room the previous night but could now make out that it was a king suite with an incredible view of downtown Shanghai. You were probably on the 30th floor at least. Tao had just finished setting the small table by the window when you entered the room.

He glanced up and gave you a grin. "I wasn't sure what you like so I got a bit of everything," he explained as you walked over.

"That's really nice of you. Thank you." You moved to sit across from him and quickly helped you with your chair. "It's the least I could do." He gave you another smile as he sat across from you. The two of you ate in relative silence until you came to your senses.

"Oh my god," you exclaimed, making Tao jump in surprise at your sudden outburst. "My friends are gonna kill me!" Tao swallowed his food before speaking. "Hey, calm down it's okay-"

"No it's not! They have no idea where I am! Or if I'm even alive!"

You got up quickly and started to search around the room. Tao watched from his seat at the table. "What are you looking for?" he asked. "My phone!" you exclaimed as you continued to search.

"It's plugged in on your side of the bed, will you please come back to breakfast?"

Tao didn't sound annoyed, just reassuring you that it was all okay.

"I need to call them."

Tao swallowed another bite of food before responding. "They already called."

You rounded on him. "What?"

He nodded, assuring you it was the truth. "They called earlier. I answered and let them know you were perfectly safe and sound and that you were sleeping," he explained. "I sent them a photo of you asleep, sorry for that, and then explained where we were and what happened."

Your heart sank. "Did you tell them… everything?"

Tao smiled again, getting up and crossing the room to your side. "No, not everything. Just the basics. I'm sure they filled in the blanks themselves," he said as he gently took your phone from your hands and set it back down before taking your hand and leading you back to the table.

The two of you continued to eat until Tao spoke up.

"I know this might be a little forward," he started, capturing your attention. "But I was wondering if you might indulge me."

You set your utensils down, offering him your undivided attention.

"I told you last night that I don't normally hook up with anyone. At least, not someone I met in a nightclub," he continued, glancing up at you and meeting your gaze. "But you? You're different."

You tilted your head to the side, giving him a puzzled look.

"Different how?"

Tao leaned forward, resting his chin in his palm as he studied you.

"You're so different from anyone I've ever talked to. I've never met someone like you," he answered. "I was wondering," he hesitated before shaking his head. "No, I was hoping that you might consider staying in Shanghai for just a bit longer."

Your eyes widened as the implications of his words set in.

'Stay in Shanghai?'

"I'm not sure I could afford that," you said softly, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. Tao's smile didn't diminish. "You wouldn't have to spend anything," he replied. "I was thinking you could keep me company."

"K-keep you company?" Now you were properly confused. Tao nodded. "Yeah. You know how in Pretty Woman, the guy asks her to spend the week with him and pays her a lot of money to pretend to be his girlfriend while he's on business?"

You nodded slowly. "Well, the only differences are that I'm not paying you to sleep with me or be my girlfriend," he explained so nonchalantly. "I just want to spend some time with you. If you aren't comfortable sharing a hotel room with me, I can put you up in your own room."

You looked at his face, looking for any sign of deceit or dishonesty but found only curiosity looking back at you. "Can I think about it?" you finally asked.

Tao smiled and got up, crossing around the table to where you sat. He combed his fingers through your hair before gently taking your chin in his hand, tilting your head back to look up.

"I'm going to take a shower. So think about it while I'm gone. If you want to stay, I'll send someone to pick up your belongings from wherever you're staying. If not, I'll take you back myself."

Before you had a chance to respond, Tao pressed a short kiss to your lips and quickly crossed the suite to the bathroom.

While he was gone, you cleaned up the table and returned to the bed, flipping on the television set while the shower turned on. You scrolled through the channels, finally settling on some soap opera. While watching, you went through your phone and saw that Tao had indeed explained through text to your friends where you were as well as including a picture and a short clip of you sleeping.

You decided to check in with your friends, to let them know you were alright. Their responses ranged from angry to relieved.

Bai🪷: omg I'm so glad ur okay 😭

Gwen🕷🕸: omg ur so stupid Y/N! How could you leave with some strange man!?

You: correct me if I'm wrong but did you leave with a strange man in Taiwan? 🤔

Gwen🕷🕸: yeah and he was a total weirdo! Have we learned nothing?!

Bai🪷: only that ur taste in men is trash. Next

You: thank you Bai!

Gwen🕷🕸: I'm being attacked help

Bai🪷: drama queen 🙄

Gwen🕷🕸: hey! U take that back

You: ANYWAY. I'm fine. Tao is not some weirdo. He's staying in this really fancy hotel. We're on like the 30th floor in some penthouse suite or some shit. it's really boujie

Bai🪷: y/n always finds the rich ones 😔

Gwen🕷🕸: did someone say sugar daddy??? 👀🤑

You: I'll pretend I didn't see that

Bai🪷: so when r u coming back?

You: uh… that's the thing.

Gwen🕷🕸: oh no. No. Not doing this. Get back here missy. We have to leave in three days!

Bai🪷: let her speak Gwen

You: thanks Bai

You: anyway. He's asked me to stay with him for a bit.

Bai🪷: whoa seriously?

You: yeah! He's even offered to put me up in a second room

You: he said he wants to spend some time with me

You heard the shower cut off and the curtain rustle as Tao no doubt got out of the shower. Going back to your messages you read the latest in the thread.

Gwen🕷🕸: does anyone else not see the serial killer potential here?

Bai🪷: no. Just u You: no only u

Gwen🕷🕸: boo. democracy sux

Bai🪷: so do you think you're gonna do it?

Bai🪷: wait a sec. First of all, do you even want to?

You: I think so. I wouldn't say no to more time in Shanghai

You: idk should I do it?

Gwen🕷🕸: I vote no.

Bai🪷: I vote yes!

Gwen🕷🕸: of course you would 😒

Bai🪷: and exactly what does THAT mean miss I'm-going-to-this-strange-man-I-met-in-Taiwan's house without anyone else around?

Gwen🕷🕸: stop making me look bad! I still vote no!

Bai🪷: and I still vote yes

Gwen🕷🕸: 😡

Bai🪷: so it looks like the final decisions up to you, y/n

Before you could respond, the bathroom door opened and Tao appeared in the same clothes he'd worn into the bathroom. He had a towel in his hand and was currently drying his hair. He made eye contact with you as you set your phone on the bedside table and smiled, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I think drying my hair is my least favorite part of showering," he said with a chuckle. You smiled in return and waited for him to speak.

"So, have you had time to think about my offer?"

You nodded, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you studied Tao's body language. He nodded carefully before looking back up, meeting your gaze.

"So, what's your answer going to be?"

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ive-had-enough-spn · 4 months ago

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I've had enough, and I'm not leaving quietly.

It's quite funny. When you are a victim of larger, or multiple, accounts in the Supernatural fandom attacking you on Twitter/X, you're normally told to stay quiet and let it go. Because everything will blow over and everybody will forget about it.

So basically, stay silent, don't defend yourself.

Because that is really the cliff notes version of it. A larger account has dragged you down, you should just accept it and be happy that more people didn't believe what they said.

Sadly, when you're the victim, you can't just 'forget about it.' You spend every interaction wondering who you can trust anymore. Or if people really believe what was written about you, even though you know it isn't the truth. And you find yourself becoming more isolated from the fandom, even those you once considered friends.

Yeah, that's not going to sway with me anymore.

The reason I'm doing this on Tumblr and not twitter is, I have a lot to say, and this is the best medium to say it. I'm also doing this on a separate account, not my main one, because I don't want to ruin the positivity I am cultivating on my main account.

So here it goes.

Back in October, two accounts in the Supernatural fandom, Sherniibal and Electromignion, decided to attack me after they believed I had said something about them.

Funny thing is, I hadn't.

It was during Liverpool Comic Con where I was fortunate enough to get a Jenmish Photo Op because I happened to be in the Op room when they were being offered. I didn't realise that would end in having my profile exposed to 6000 people by Sherniibal and Electromignion.

During the time I saw there was a lot of frustration on twitter about the fact they were offering them on the day. I mentioned this was common and that I'd had a conversation with a woman in the line about the fact you could have rung up Liverpool Comic Con and upgraded your Misha op before the convention.

Apparently that was seen as an attack on Sherniibal.

I didn't really pay much mind to it. However the below tweets started to pop up. Again, I didn't really pay too much attention. But I have to say it's funny and wildly hypocritical for her to complain about indirect tweeting when that was exactly what she was doing at the time.

It's equally funny that she has since been complaining about drama in the fandom when, in the past, she was certainly always willing to perpetuate it or make things worse. I’ve checked through her account and she’s gotten rid of those moments.

Obviously realised she was starting to look problematic.

As we had been on a group chat together, she could have gotten in contact with me either on twitter, or discord, to ask if I was talking about her. But apparently, that was up to me to do?

I don't see why.

Outside of my tweet she was also getting anonymous NGL's. One of which was directly attacking her. Others which were telling her to talk to me. None of which I sent because, again, I didn't know what the hell was going on.

She didn't even bother trying

By the time I realised she was indirectly tweeting me I'd really had enough. I was tired due to a horrific train journey back home and I just said she was talking about me. I managed to get a few screenshots before I was blocked to defend myself.

But the result of me outing myself was my profile being exposed to all of hers, and Electromignion's followers.

The action of blocking her as she suggested would have yielded the same results, as it was clear by this stage she was out for blood. She blocked me almost immediately after my tweet though so she could out me to her followers.

I lost a few followers, and got snide little backstabbing comments (e.g. 'I say what I think' kind of thing). And when I tried to defend myself to say I didn't send the NGL's or attack the woman, I was told she had proof and I should just let it go.

But what proof? One tweet I made, and an NGL she received. An anonymous NGL no less that she could have had sent to her by one of her friends?

Hardly proof is it?

Anyway, I just gave up and stayed quiet in the fandom because I realised so many people believed it. I stopped interacting and nearly pulled all of my stories. I was eventually talked out of it.

Now getting to my point.

I never deserved what happened to me. No matter the slight that Sherniibal allegedly thought was there, all she had to do was block me. But instead, she wanted to drag me to 6000 people. The only reason I can think is jealousy because I got something she wanted.

Ever since then I have been stalked by a private account. Considering I had no issues with the fandom outside of this incident, I squarely put the blame on that on Sheniibal. Because, whilst she may not have been the perpetrator of the account, she gave somebody the confidence to continue the attacks on me.

I no longer felt safe in the fandom.

Funnily enough, that private account seems to have disappeared, and I’ve never figured out who it was. Maybe they finally realised it was sick to constantly harrass and stalk a woman who had just lost her father in an extremely traumatic manner. And was so distressed, she held a knife to her own wrists and threatened to kill herself.

However, this account still exists. An account that was set up to attack me. It's funny how it only seemed to get reported once it had turned it's anger onto another member of the fandom as well.

Who, interestingly, was also quick to drop and block me at the word of Sherniibal. Even though she didn't when Sherniibal was indirectly tweeting about her. I guess it must be because I'm a smaller account. Easier to drop me that way.

It made me laugh when Robina was talking about believing people talking about her behind her back were 'friends.' Yes Robina, I thought that about you to, but seems I wasn't a large enough account to be friends with you, or be allowed to defend myself against these allegations.

Hypocrisy at its finest.

I have had multiple people talk to me privately about Sheniibal's actions. Saying they have stopped following, or blocked her, due to her insistence on perpetuating drama. Or overreacting to every little thing in the fandom.

Why they don't call her out publicly? I guess they're scared they may suffer the same fate I did.

Why have I waited nearly a year to finally call her out? Because I’m no longer scared and refuse to be her victim any longer.

Anyway, this is my last post on twitter. I am now out.

I hope that people will read this and pay attention to this and do better. I'm not an innocent person, I've done my fair share of shitty behaviour in the fandom.

But this was one thing I didn't do.

(A few notes -

1 - The final most recent tweets were seen by my main account that I have held long before I joined the SPN fandom. I didn’t have the strength to go back to what she did to me

2 - Electromignion has been named as he was involved and is Sherniibals housemate. He defended her at the time.

3 - I know she will find this and defend herself. Something she is entitled to do.

4 - I know some people will still believe her over me. But at this stage I don’t care anymore

5 - I maintain if I was a bigger account, this would never have happened).

#supernatural #spn #supernatural drama #twitter #twitter drama

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echantedtoon · 1 year ago

Note

Twilight Sparkle x Discord Electric boogaloo

************

-This is a sequal to my other Twicord fic-

Shuffling and other noises filled the air as her friend leaned her head closer to peer at the outfit she was currently perfecting around her. Making sure the ruffles fluffed out just right and the curls of her man weren't crooked in any way. "You've been awfully quiet, Darling." Her friend flinched. "Is something bothering you?" There was a short pause before she sighed and turned her head to peer at the white unicorn in glasses. "I guess I'm just having pre-date jitters. That's all." Yesterday had seemed like a blur and she almost chalked it up to being a dream. Keyword being almost. If it wasn't for Fluttershy dropping by with a cute Hearts and Hooves Day card(she always gave one to her friends and family) and wishing her luck on her date with Discord. Of course she was prepared and read One Hundred and Two Tips For Interspecies Dating Cadence had leant her. Unfortunately, it didn't cover draconequues. So she went to Plan B! Who was the most expert in dating and relationships in close range? "I don't entirely blame you, Twilight. This is Discord we're talking about....Lift your wing please." She did as she asked silently. Rarity may have not seemed like the best choice in relationship advice, but she had enough experience with failed dates and crushes to know what to look out for. And to help her get ready. "I honestly didn't know you still had this. I haven't seen it since Cadence and Shining Armor's wedding." She looked down at the old bridesmare dress Rarity had dug out. She didn't have time to put together a whole outfit for her, but luckily she had an older dress. All that was needed was some wing room. "I was thinking about donating some of my old fashions to the local performing group, but it seems it was a good thing I held onto this one." "Mmm hmm. I'm sure everything's gonna be fine. It's just Discord after all." The unicorn stopped what she was doing and looked at the alicorn princess with a raised brow. "You sound so unsure about this." "Well, of course!" She whirled around to face her. "This is Discord! Who knows what'll happen?" ".....He did say if it didn't work he would like to remain friends. Did he not?" "Well, yes, but-" "AND you two are on good terms, right?" "Yes, but that's not-"

"AND you gave him your word you would go with him. Did you not?" "YES! But that's-" "Then you should have no problem with it." "Rarity!," the purple alicorn shouted making Rarity look up from her sewing. She let out a breath, "You're right. And as the Princess of Friendship I shouldn't let something like a date get in the way of our friendship. But that's not why I'm...….having doubts." Rarity took her time finishing the last of the stitching before calmly looking at her and asking, "What ever do you mean? I'm sure he'll behave himself. Half way at least." "I.....don't exactly have good dating experience." Rarity turned to trot over behind a curtain of sorts but still listened. "Whatever do you mean? You went on one with that-oh, what's his name- Flash Centry!" Twilight sighed and sat down. "He was nice, and a real gentlecolt, but he wasn't the same outgoing, spunky guy I met in the place they call 'highschool'." The curtain was drawn back and Rarity proudly trotted out wearing an elegant dress that very nicely showed off her natural beauty and well done hair. She noticed her friend's stare and posed. "You like it? I've been saving it for a rainy day." "You look beautiful, Rarity. I'm taking it you have a lucky date," Twilight teased lightly, "Who's the lucky stallion this time?" Rarity giggled. "Capper. He's meeting me later at Sugarcube Corner. But, on the topic of lucky dates- Do give Discord a fair chance." She reached out a hoof to place on her shoulder. "Trust me when I say I know from experience. Sometimes it's better to chance it with a friend then to fall for fancy fake-ness. Besides. It's Hearts and Hooves Day. Nopony deserves to be alone." She slowly smiled. "Thanks, Rarity. I should give him the benefit of the doubt." She nodded her head. "That's good to hear. Now, I suggest we both go before our dates come looking for us."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time she left Rarity and went back to the giant castle, she realized not much time had passed as she had thought. Only maybe two hours at most. That just left more time to let her mind wonder about all the crazy things that could happen. This WAS Discord after all. So, she did what she normally did when stressed. She read. She wasn't sure exactly how long she'd been(trying to) reading the same two pages, but it felt like an eternity. Especially with her past of awkward non romantic experiences and having basically zero confidence in that area. Perhaps if she pretended that this was just a fun platonic get together with a guy friend? Yeah! That's it! Just look at this as one of those girl buddy guy buddy hangouts. She had those with spike all the time. Heck! It just might be more fun with Discord's crazy antics. She released a sigh of relief at her idea and was finally able to turn the page- "EEEKKK!!!"

The book was dropped to the ground with a thud. She scurried back against the couch at the sight of a giant red and yellow eye staring at her from the page. "Discord!" A deep chuckle filled the air before the familiar flash of light lit up in front of her. A moment later, she was staring up at the smiling creature. "I was wondering when you would turn to me. I was waiting for almost an hour you know. It's very rude to ignore your date." She face hooved. "I didn't know you would-! *sigh* Nevermind. You're here. Let's go and do whatever you planned." He hummed. "Straight to the point I see. But, I may have to change my original plans. She tilted her head confused. "Why?" He pointed his lion paw at her outfit. "My dress?" "If I had known you would dress up like this just for out date, I would've planned something much better suiting." "What? You don't have to-" "Nonsense," he cut her off, "A pretty dress like this doesn't deserve to be wasted. If anything, it'll make things much more fun." "Fun? Fun how?" He smiled. "You'll see soon enough." He raised his eagle claw to snap again. A bright flash of white light filled the room making her squeeze her eyes shut. The sudden shift in environment gave her an uneasy feeling as she was forced on her hooves once again. She opened her magenta eyes, but had to blink a few times to actually take in her new surroundings. "Discord, where are we?" Giant buildings loomed overhead as the sun had just began to set. Yeesh! She spent more time getting ready at Rarity's then she thought. It couldn't be Canterlot. Canterlot had a more.....fancy atmosphere to it. "Manehatton. I knew the young nobles of Canterlot had driven you up a wall, and they don't need to be encouraged by seeing you all dolled up for today." She finally looked at him and blinked. The orange tux from the last gala was back. He noticed her stare and quirked an eyebrow. "Is the tophat too much?" "Wha- Uh! No no. You look really good in orange." He lit up an her compliment. "Why thank you, my dear. And might I say-" He suddenly shot down and grabbed one of her hooves. "-YOU look lovely tonight.~" Her face flushed a deep purple at his compliment. Discord chuckled at her reaction before nodding towards the building in front of them. "Shall we?" She only nodded and he extended a limb. "Well, Princesses first.~" What looked like a simple house in the middle of a city had turned out to be some kind of restaurant. A few couples were seated here and there making googoo eyes at each other or talking. It seemed that this café was cottage themed? It certainly wasn't over the top. "Hi there!" Twilight jumped from the new voice. A slightly smaller pony stared at them in a waitress outfit. She smiled a mouth full of braces at them. "Welcome to Cozy Critters! How can I help you today?" "Just the regular and table for me, Bubbles. You might want to take her order though," Discord piped up before she could. She nodded and turned around. "Follow me please." They were lead to a small table near the back and sat down. Twilight thanked her and took the menu in an aura of purple magic. It showed plenty of options, but she didn't feel like anything fancy though so- "I think I'll just have the hayburger and-" She looked up and froze at what she saw. "-some water. Discord. Are you eating a table?"

The draconequues smiled down at her with his mouth full. A small coffee table was in his hands. Neither noticed the waitress walk away. He gulped before answering. "Why yes. How very observant of you. This is my usual after all." "Why?" "Twilight, the better question is why not. You are talking to THE embodiment of Chaos." He had a point. She shook her head but smiled. "I guess you're right." She glanced around. "Where are we anyways?" "Fluttershy's favorite restaurant. It reminds her of home, and they DO have excellent tables." He took another bite of the table. It splintered and made a crunching sound where he bit down. "Oh. Well, it's really not what I expected, but it's very nice." She paused when something hit her. "Hey." He hummed. "You said you had plans before you decided on this. What was it?" He shrugged. "Just some star gazing up close and seeing the making of a super nova. But, this is probably better. Less noise and more room to talk." Her jaw dropped. "Are you being serious?" "Completely." A small silence followed with him continuing to eat his table. Eventually the waitress pony came back expertly balancing a tray on her head. She bent down and slid it in front of the princess. "Will there be anything else?" Discord shook his head. "No, Bubbles. Just put that on my tab, dear." The burger was pretty good as she bit into it over and over,. The two ate in silence for what seemed like forever- "You seem pretty quiet." She jolted, almost dropping her water, and looked up at him. He still smiled with a raised brow. He no longer had his table so she assumed he finished eating. "O-Oh. Sorry. I just-I'm not familiar with this kinda stuff." "Surely you have been on a date before." His smile faded and his brow rose further. "With all these young stallions' sudden interest, I thought you'd at least go on a coffee date." She coughed nervously and rubbed the back of her neck. Averting her eyes nervously. "I....uh....Went on one. And I'm the one who kinda asked him. B-B-But it's ok. We're good friends." "And you never accepted when someone else asked you?" He stroked his beard in thought. "How interesting." She shrugged. "They were interested, but their reasons weren't really that sincere." "Understandable." He waved a paw and a glass of chocolate milk appeared in it. "If their intentions weren't pure, then you shouldn't feel pressured to go." He took a gulp. "That's exactly how I feel!" She watched him chuckle and continue to drink. She had to admit she didn't expect Discord of all people to ask her out. Speaking of which- "Discord. Why intentions did you have for asking me?" He stopped mid sip and looked at her. "I guess it's finally that time, hmm?" He made his drink disappear with a flash, and leaned across the table. "I already told you last night, but knowing you, you'd want a more detailed answer. It's simple really." "Then why? Besides my obvious immortality." He chuckled again. "Besides that. Like I said before. You challenge me. Sure a chaotic life is plenty fun by itself, but what's life without a challenge every now and then? Hmm. Easy gets boring after a while. Plus-" He reached a hand over to boop her nose. "-You had some chaotic moments. I can name a few." She tutted. "Really? What?" He raised fingers as he spoke. "Oh. That time you cast those spells to change Fluttershy into a bat, make everypony want your smarty doll thing, have all those parasprites literally eat the town. And let's not forget when you switched everyone's cutie marks. Oh! What about the time you tried to figure out Pinkie's sense? Or when you thought I hypnotized everyone because you were jealous-" "Ok, ok!"

He outright laughed at her sudden intervention. "Shall I continue?" "No. That's ok. I think I get the picture." He leaned back to his full height. "But, I guess the main reason is the old saying that opposites attract. And who is more opposite than us two?" He winked. And despite herself, she giggled and pointed at him. "I thought I was supposed to be the one with love logic," she teased. He placed a paw to his chest in mock shock. "My dear starbutt. Wouldn't it be chaos if I started using logic? Hmhm." The rest of the night was actually quite relaxing and his play on logic made her more at ease. By the time she noticed how late it was, Discord had already snapped his fingers and in a flash of light, they reappeared inside her library. She blinked again again at the uneasy feeling of being forced on her hooves without warning. When she looked back up at Discord, the spirit was floating next to her without the tux. "Did you have fun?" "Yes!," she happily shouted, "Tonight was better than I thought it would be." She smiled sheepishly. "Thank you for treating me to such a lovely experience, Discord." His smile widened. "Think nothing of it. I rather enjoyed myself. Though I can't leave without giving you one last thing." "Oh? What's tha-" She froze as something warm pressed against her cheek. As quickly as it came it left, and Discord chuckled. "A good bye kiss. We should do this again sometime. Tata." In another flash of light, he was gone. Leaving her and her growing blush.

Author's Note: Submission and regular posting wouldn't accept it so I had to post it through the ask box.

#my little pony #my litte pony friendship is magic #twilight sparkle #twicord #Twilight Sparkle x Discord #discolight #Discord

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isaac-clarke · 10 months ago

Text

I love, and by that I mean hate, how I I just feel... left behind with the few friends I still rp with on discord. There's only really 2 and they're just... into other things and fandoms now and I guess are writing more with other friends or groups and it just sucks.

It just sorta feels lonely feeling like hey, I still like chatting plotty and headcanon stuff with out stuff, I still like sending and being sent stuff. But it's almost always me initiating and even then it's not like things ever even go anywhere. At best I feel annoying wanting more than just dropping links and at worst really discouraged and feeling boring. And I'm not really happy with where things are now and it's not like I can really make my friends' interest come back or anything. I'm just sad that the only thing I can really do it silently drop everything because I don't even feel good about it anymore.

And like I guess for most people it would be a "well that sucks" and feel bumped about moving on but it happens but my anxiety just makes ramps everything up and makes me feels really REALLY bad about it. And I just. I don't know what else to do beyond dropping everything even though I don't want to because the alternative is continuously feeling awful about it.

0 notes

alyss01 · 4 years ago

Note

hihi! i thought abt this last night, but i fell asleep before typing jt lol-

so, non comfy cartel ask bc i'm dumb no plot

so just regular bb sykunno lol

alright now- reader lives with sykunno, no one knows this. reader says they have a boyfriend, and no one knows who it is. they also have explicitly said that they don't have corpse merch. so they're streaming, wearing sykunno's corpse merch, and sykunno peeks his head in after he did all of his among us tasks after being killed first and goes to hug them and be very clingy bc i feel like clingy-kunno would be so fricken cute, and then since proximity, he says, while chat's freaking out, something along the lines of 'can i have my hoodie back baby?' and everyone in the proximity just goes dead fricken silent and then reader and syk start laughing and explain themselves.

<33 have a good day!!

|[Relationship reveal]|

[Sykkuno x GN! reader]

-------------------------------------

Genre: fluff

Word count: 1.3K

Requested: yes

Synopsis: When you’re streaming among us, Sykkuno comes in to see you in his Corpse hoodie. Your relationship with him gets revealed and he stayes with you through the rest of the stream.

Warnings: 1 curse word, other than that just fluff

A/n: so guess who accidentally deleted the written one shot when it was nearly done? ..... I tried to write it again as accurately as the first time but I’m sorry for the hold up. I’m always down for some Sykkuno fluff though. Why do I feel like i only just figured out that's it's spelled Sykkuno instead of Sykunno??

Masterlist

-------------------------------------------

You started up stream, greeting the people that streamed into the chat as you explained that you would stream among us for a bit with Toast's lobby.

It was hard to keep up with the chat as it raced past, your eyes scanning the messages as they raced by.

Multiple people noted on the black hoodie you wore. The black fabric with the red print was easily recognisable as they asked if your corpse hoodie had finally come in.

It had become somewhat of an inside joke within your community, you often complained that the post office was screwing you over on purpose because your hoodie was the last to come in out of all your friend group.

"Yea, I guess you could say that" you addressed it with a small smile on our face, entirely forgetting to change out of Sykkuno's hoodie you had pulled on that morning.

Leaving the topic what it was, you joined the among us lobby and discord call.

You could see that Sykkuno had also already arrived in the little space ship, a Corpse mask on his little avatar as he stood beside him.

A small grin formed on your face as you selected the green striped scarf for your little avatar to wear.

In the meantime you watched chat with a side eye before you'd have to stop reading as the round begun. You muted yourself in the discord call as you thanked some new subs and donators.

The chat flashed with questions about your boyfriend, you had announced your relationship only recently but left the identity of him in the dark.

Your fans didn't know it was Sykkuno yet, but the two of you had decided it would be alright to reveal your relationship relatively soon, the fans were bound to find out one way or another and both of you preferred it being on your own terms.

The game started as you wished the others luck, clicking away the chat as you focussed on your tasks around the spaceship.

Sykkuno's little avatar walked away with Corpse to another part of the spaceship as you joined Rae with her tasks.

It was quite a peaceful round in your opinion, you ended up sharing a lot of tasks with Rae so you walked almost the entire time with each other.

The two of you talked about the food you'd be ordering after the game, discussing different cuisines and deciding on your favourites and comparing them with one another.

That peace however was disturbed as a meeting was called, teleporting you to the meeting room. You looked to see who had died, only to see the small avatar of Sykkuno crossed out at the bottom of the screen.

"Who could do such a thing!" You gasped loudly as your group started discussing.

You accused Corpse since you had seen them leave dropship together, "We split up at medbay, it could've literally been anyone."

"His body was in specimen." Toast pointed out.

"Could've been a self-report." Rae continued as the two of you vouched for one another.

“If its in specimen and Corpse left Sykkuno in medbay, then it has to be an older kill right?” Lily asked as the rest of you hummed in response.

Sykkuno could hear your bickering as he approached your streaming room. He had died relatively early in the round and had enough time as a ghost to finish his tasks.

He knocked softly on your door, in response to Rae's newest argument you hummed in agreement.

Sykkuno opened the door in response, you couldn't see him approach but as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders from behind you couldn't help but lean back into his touch.

"So there my hoodie went, I was looking for it." You pecked his cheek from the side as he rested his head on your shoulder.

Neither of you had expected the mic to pick up his words, but the way the among us lobby silenced immediately had said enough.

"Wait what the fuck? Is Sykkuno unmuted?" Lily was the first to break the silence.

Chuckles escaped your mouth as you started laughing, leaning back into your chair and into Sykkuno's hold as you laughed louder.

Beside you Sykkuno grew red as he realized what had happened, awkward chuckles joining yours as you explained to the group what was going on.

By then the meeting had ended, teleporting you back to the meeting room where you could hear your friends loudly talk over one another.

A smile was plastered on your face as you quickly turned around, pulling up a chair beside you for Sykkuno so he could stay in your room for at least the current game.

You couldn't see chat because of among us, but you knew they were most likely going insane at the news.

Sykkuno sat down beside you, his arm snaking around your waist as he pecked your cheek. As you handed him a secondary set of earphones that laid on your desk and connected them to your desktop, you repositioned your microphone to hang in between the two of you.

When your friends had congratulated you and calmed down you went on with the game, staying by Corpse's side this time as he spoke up, "So that hoodie was Sykkuno's all along"

"In my defence, it was cold and the sweater was warm. Simple math." He chuckled as Sykkuno laid his head on your shoulder, watching your monitor with a small smile on his face.

"I could've kept your hoodie behind as well and delivered it with Sykkuno's," he stopped mid-sentence as his avatar stopped moving as well, "wait but how come I didn’t see you when I brought Sykkuno's merch over?"

Sykkuno was faster to answer him as he spoke up from beside you, softly pulling you tighter against him, "Y/n went out with friends that day, didn't want to make you uncomfortable or overwhelmed or anything."

Corpse laughed softly, making a smile form both your and Sykkuno's face as you continued your tasks, "It would've been fine, but thank you for being so considerate."

You pulled Sykkuno's hand on the mouse on your desk so he could control the character on the screen partially so you could wrap your arm over his shoulder as your hand found his hair.

Your fingers tangled between the locks on the back of his head, gently messaging his scalp as a small satisfied smile formed on his face at the gesture.

"Don’t mention it, if anything you'll now have an excuse to come over again." Corpse chuckled at your joke as Sykkuno finished your tasks while you walked the character around.

It took you a few hours to finish your stream, Sykkuno by your side the entire time as he hadn't been streaming anyway, only leaving briefly to leave the lobby on his own computer.

Your hand was clasped in his as you finished the stream, saying goodbye to your chat before going offline. Leaning back in your chair, Sykkuno brushed some hair out of your face with his free hand.

"How much do you want to bet that Twitter is blowing up right now?" you warily eyed your phone which laid screen down on the side of your desk.

A small laugh escaped his lips as he hand left yours, instead cupping your cheek and gently positioning your head to face him, "No matter what Twitter says, we'll be fine."

You gave him a small smile, "I know, I know," streams were exhausting and you couldn’t wait to just be able to hang on the couch with your boyfriend, "I'm glad it's out there. Now we won't have to be so secretive about everything anymore."

Sykkuno stood up, pulling you along with him and guiding you to your living room, "we can just order take out and chill today?"

You nodded your head, smiling at how well Sykkuno knew you by now, "I love you" you muttered as he pulled you onto the couch, other hand grabbing the remote to turn your tv on.

"I love you too."

#one shot #fluff #romance #x gn reader #x reader #sykkuno #sykkuwu #sykkuno fluff #sykunno #sykkuno x reader #sykkuno imagine #gender neutral mc #gender neutral reader #gender neutral character #fanfic #sykkuno fanfic

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asavt · 3 years ago

Text

Another cookie squad Headcanons

Featuring Sparkling, Vampire, cellphones and the Espresso and Madeleine Story of how they came together. Consider it an AU now baby!

-As a note, when I say the squad I'm mostly referring to the adults, so no worries about Walnut or Creampuff useless I mention them too

-Each one of the squad has been in Sparkling's bar at last once. There's no need to say who has been there the most. Sparkling has a time every time someone besides Roguefort comes, because to him it's mostly like "Oh I'll finally know the continuation to the burnt toast accident or maybe the cat catastrophe? Maybe a new POV of the--"

He practically knows a lot of what happens in between the squad.

-As another note, Sparkling's bar is called Milabo (You know, like the song from Zutomayo of the same name, which, btw, I relate a lot to Latte)

-*A great part of this “AU” is kind of inspired by the song. Part of its lyrics and vibe.

-Vampire is there most of the time when the squad visits the bar (it's almost as if he never leaves the bar and this is definitely not me low-key putting sparkvamp in this oh no--) Sometimes the fakes his sleep to listen to the things others say (Which is how he knows most of Rogue's pan-ic).

-Walnut has been in Sparkling's bar too, but at day and for case-solving purposes only. Sparkling will give her some alcohol-free drink for free sometimes (mostly because he gets along pretty well with the nut family and because Almond usually pays him whatever he serves her).

-If the squad had cellphones (and probably an app like discord because.), their group chat would initially be called "Coffee mage appreciation group" and then be changed to "Coffee bean appreciation group"

Coffee Bean: Can we please change the group name and mine?

Guided by the Devine: No <3

Coffee Bean: Fuck you.

-*And they all would dedicate half their time to make fun of Almond but with love.

-Espresso has been mistaken for a dark mage before by Almond. It was how they meet actually. Almond had pulled him to interrogate him and got a long lecture on the differences between black magic and coffee magic.

-Madeleine gets along rather well with Roguefort. Rogue seems impressed by Maddie’s acting skills.

-Madeleine is currently living with Espresso. Out of his armor most of the time. He usually takes care of keeping the house clean and preparing meals (He never really had to cook before but the first dish he made wasn’t bad at all). Sometimes he will tag along Almond in the detective’s work, or Almond will ask for his help.

-I’m still unsure if I want the Almond/Roguefort/Latte to be romantic or platonic. But honestly? Both are good. Latte is pretty close to Almond and Roguefort but not in the way she is with Espresso (that makes them look like siblings jkashduawhu). Perhaps I’ll keep it platonic.

-The Espresseleine/Madespresso story of how they came together, because I seem to not be able to write it down JSHALDHUIWADWA-

--It happens after the Puppet Show mini quest. Madeleine starts to ask for Espresso's "assistance" in different mission that are given to him. Angel is there too, of course.

--During these missions is that Essy clarifies that no, they are not friends, no, he does not like Madeleine. Bringing up the knight begin too prideful and self-centered if not all then most of the time.

--Is not until one of their missions goes wrong, were Angel is knocked out and Espresso (seeing and knowing that if Madeleine is knocked down too they might not be able to go back to the kingdom ever) pretty much receives a rather big attack for Madeleine is that he kind realizes the facts given by espresso true. All while he is carrying Essy and Angel back to the kingdom, running and exhausted too.

--Clover begin kind of a mediator between the two (I want to see more of my son--)

--"Devine, protect us" Should happen too after this. An scenario like, Madeleine coming to think something like "I'm the shield, the one who goes on the front line and receives the blows for those who can't, always looking straight ahead... but if I am doing that then who watches my back? Who do I rely on and trust to take care of most enemies so the damage received is not overwhelming...?"

Power of team work baby!!!

--As a note to this, Maddie getting his cape damaged as well as his hair. So, you get short hair Maddie~

(I've been drawing him with short hair in secret now I have an excuse to show)

-- "You...cut your hair..." *Madeleine touches the points of it with one of his hands, pensive* "...pft it'll grow back!"

--There's also this "Search for your own light" thing between Angel and Maddie. Angel encouraging Madeleine to do so. Maybe Madeleine giving his best wishes to them for their wish to fly before they decide to part ways.

--Madeleine trying other ways to befriend Essy. Which at first Espresso mistaken as the knight usual attempts to befriend anyone he sees out of habit and attention seeking, but once they realize the feeling is completely genuine, Espresso is rather perplexed.

--"You can't just befriend people by buying them gifts (although I do appreciate them)" "Then what?" "hmm..."

--Said gifts used to be rather expensive things, simple though. Eventually Madeleine settles to just pass by Espresso's place, give him any food he had bought that day (which usually is glazed donuts), ask if he needs any help with something (getting a vase, materials, moving things), and if not then he just says his good byes, best wishes and silently leaves. (A note on the "silently leaves": Madeleine is pretty much used to speak loudly and enter loudly anywhere, he still does this at this point, but when it's about Espresso he is a bit more quiet, a bit showy over his entrances still, but less loud, and he actually knocks the door)

--Madeleine eventually manages to go out with Espresso to other places that aren't some place in the forest full of enemies. Probably after some more visits to his place and more calm talks between the two, Madeleine brings up that Espresso tends to act a bit cold or distant towards a lot of people, and that, although he understands his discomfort at begin in public spaces or too long out of his work, he should try and open up a bit. This reminds Essy of a certain friend he hasn't seen in some time, and from whom he keeps getting letters.

--Shenanigans.

--There's still some bickering between the two, always with a playful undertone though.

--Espresso explains Madeleine, one time the knight has gotten Espresso wrapped in a blanket burrito again and got him to bed, that sometimes, no matter how tired he might feel, he is simply unable to sleep. Part of a headcanon of mine that coffee magic has this side effect on it's users, prolonged usage of this kind of magic will induce a high caffeine kind of state, which on the long run can fuck up the user's sleep schedule. Madeleine understands this, but remains stubborn about keeping Espresso in the bed so at last he can get some rest from his work and clear his mind a little, the idiot falls asleep in the process and Espresso doesn't try to wake him up.

--This happens several times after, neither of them thinking of the implications of not begin bothered by the sudden closeness they share until it's too late.

--Espresso realizes first that he has slowly, yet nicely, fallen for Madeleine. I think I talked about this before but I'll do it again: Is in one of the times Madeleine has gotten Espresso to bed to get some rest, Espresso not begin able to fall asleep and Madeleine doing again. Is while he thinks of how he has gotten to know Madeleine for real, not the Knight Commander from a noble family or the Chosen by the Devine, but as he is, that he comes to think that "Ah.... I love him" and he remains calm about it.

--Espresso doesn't overthink it, just thinks that, if Madeleine ever got an interest in him, he would surely show it. So he waits. Even if in the end his feelings aren't mutual he knows he'll do just fine remaining friends.

--Madeleine realizes not many days after. And the realization hits him like a truck. Alone in his place and probably in bed looking at the ceiling thinking about Espresso. Once he realizes and thinks about it a bit more his face gets all red and chooses to scream in the pillow.

--He would think about telling Espresso as soon as he can, after all, he doesn't want his feelings to make their friendship weird. He values it, a lot. Maybe because his friendship with Espresso it's the first one where he genuinely wanted to become friends with someone.

--Espresso takes the confession calmly, gets all flustered after they kiss for the first time.

--As a few extras of this: Madeleine goes back to the Republic, asked to be seen by his family and Espresso goes to Parfedia, where a few students have applied to his class to his surprise. When they see each other again is at Parfedia (Madeleine sending a message to Espresso beforehand about his arrival) -there was this one drawing I did once of Maddie running to hug Espresso, something like that happens-. Madeleine gets very clingy for some reason, which they speak later and comes out as “Home doesn’t quite feel like home…” “Why is that?” “I don’t know… maybe I’ve become used to be around you”

--Espresso lets ends up letting Madeleine stay with him until he either feels like returning to the Republic or is called back, whatever happens first (though none will happen for maybe a year or a little more).

--Ends with Madeleine meeting Latte and Almond.

#Headcanon time baby!#The cookie squad #Espresso Cookie #Madeleine cookie #espresseleine #madespresso #Roguefort cookie #Almond cookie #Latte Cookie #Sparkling cookie #Vampire cookie #Walnut cookie #Bar gays

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bakugohoex · 4 years ago

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I'm so happy for you! Congrats for 1k! 🥳🥳🥳 I saw there was one fluff prompt left, number 10 I believe. If it's still available could you do it with Porco?

“we were never just friends”

pairing: porco galliard x female reader

cw: fluff, language, a lot on intimate moments that make me sad that I’m alone

word count: 2700+

a/n: please im sorry that im still working on my 1k event when i have a 2k event going on at the same time, but i wrote this fic in a sprint thing on discord and surprisingly I think i did okay with it.

summary: in which Porco relives moments of his love for you until he finally gets what he had always wanted

1k event masterlist

↞ back to attack on titan masterlist

Porco didn’t understand the first time he met you would be as children; he saw those tender eyes and that soft sunflower dress, and he couldn’t help but fall in love. Maybe it was a childish dream or some misconception that this was the love that he had so often seen between his parents. But he knew from that very moment seeing you with your hair up in pigtails playing in the sand he had fallen in love.

His eyes stayed focused on you, his shorts showing the grazed knees he had had from sliding along the grass against his mothers will. But the sound of his screams as he ran towards the sandcastle you had made, and the crying as a consequence of the fallen castle made him realise this wasn’t a real way to introduce himself. He looked between those damp tears and the sand that speckled across your chest and knees and he knew this moment would be ingrained into both of your minds for the rest of your life.

He knelt in front of your timid body, eyes tearing up as you looked like you wanted to chuck sand at him. Your mother hadn’t noticed the tears as they were silent, but as Porco brought his hand out, moving his small fingers to touch your cheek he felt the cold tears stream down your face. It wasn’t his fault, or maybe it was, but at the time he felt bad. “I’m sorry.”

You looked up to meet the blonde, his dinosaur t shirt and beige coloured shorts made him look like any other child. You don’t know what got into you too stare at his childish figure. Maybe it was because you were a child yourself but seeing this random child apologise for kicking down your hard work and effort. It brought some relief, “it’s okay.”

He wiped away the tears as he spoke once more, “I’ll help you build another one.”

You nodded in an instant as he grabbed the plastic mould and started digging for sand. Maybe it was the start of a new friendship he didn’t know at the time but here he was lying on his bed reliving those childish memories that he had had with his only love.

It had been years since that incident, a decade even but you still remained close to him, still had him at arm’s length. He was the boy who had spent years pining over you whilst you always just seemed out of his grasp. He stared once more at your text message, once again speaking about your date with Reiner.

All he could do was send good luck for it, what else could he do? You were his best friend, key word being friend and nothing else, nothing more. He could only just wish to see you happy and if it meant with Reiner who was he to suppress your happiness.

He couldn’t help but admire his lock screen, the love and admiration he had for you, maybe it was because of the many years he had spent following you around like a lost puppy, but the way his eyes would almost widen each time you spoke. He looked down through his camera roll, he couldn’t help but relive all these memories he had had with you.

The first time you both went into high school together, the first day that you both had found other friends. Met new people and happened to form your own group, Porco knew everybody knew of his little crush on you. Who wouldn’t, the way you’d both walk to and from school or the way he’d always be on call with you to just talk about anything.

Maybe this was the sign, the push to admit his feelings but he never did. It had been a stupid party; his camera being filled with that night months ago. The night were you both went to Eren’s stupid party, the night where he had found you in the arms of another.

“I hate Eren.” You had muttered to the boy.

He scoffed as his arm rested loosely against your shoulder, “who doesn’t, he put me in a headlock in PE once.”

“And you didn’t fight back, aww I’m proud of you Poc.” He rolled his eyes at the nickname, he hated it, but he knew that from your lips any name of his would sound so pretty. “I heard Reiner’s going though.”

Ever since that stupid Maths class with Reiner you almost seemed infatuated with the boy. Porco hated it and knew he’d have to keep an eye on you for the rest of the night. As you both walked through the doors, already seeing drunk teenagers and couples making out. Porco became jealous, he might have hated the idea of ever having his first kiss with you in a rowdy party. But the way he wasn’t even able to keep you by his side, to show you off to Reiner and the others because you really meant more than the world to him.

Your eyes scoured around the room and in a matter of seconds you faced the brute of a blond, he hated how you left his side. Hated how Reiner beckoned you forward as if you were his, you weren’t you were Porco’s. Porco shook his head as he stared at the two of you before going off to find anybody except the two of you.

He didn’t know what went into his head to drink as much as he had that night. He stared at the photos on his phones, many drunk ones of him falling about but he might not have remembered the night that well. But a memory would forever remain ingrained in his head.

The shift of his weight from the alcohol and the way his eyes landed on you. His sweet childhood friend on Reiner’s lap, his Y/n, the girl with the sundress now draped across Reiner’s lap, hands around his neck as your lips had been attached to his own. The couples Porco had seen, had envied for not being the two of you had all divulged into you and Reiner.

His arms against your waist, your hands tugging at his blond hair, Porco eyes flashed red. He wanted to run up and take you away, grab your arm and leave but he didn’t. He looked at the two of you and left. Walked out of the house, telling Mikasa to let you stay the night and then left, he couldn’t face you, couldn’t walk home with you and see your smudged lipstick, see your dishevelled hair.

Porco’s eyes stayed firm at the multitude of texts that came through, you had sent him voice notes after voice notes about what you were wearing and the plan for the night. Now here he was listening to them and replying half an hour later, you were probably out there, probably with him, kissing him, holding him, loving him.

He chucked his phone to the ground as he stared at the many photos of the two of you and your other friends. Every moment with you always felt like a whole other world, maybe you felt the same way or maybe you didn’t. But he would always keep it hidden, he knew better than to let his emotions fuel his rage. Because in the end all he wanted was for you to be happy and if it meant giving up his own, who cared.

The sound of his doorbell going off made him sign it was probably his mothers friend. He stayed staring at the memories, he could have been out right now. Could be with Zeke or Pieck or anybody but no he was in his bed mopping per usual, his mothers voice boomed through the house as she shouted his name.

“Yeah, yeah I’m coming.” He groaned as he swung his legs off the bed, his eyes straight down the stairs. He didn’t know who it could be, possibly Bertholdt wanting to borrow his switch again or Colt asking for Marcel as well.

He rubbed at his eyes as he was finally met with you. In that pretty dress you only wore for special occasions, those bright eyes that brimmed with tears and that soft smile you tried to put on. His mother left as you moved towards the stairs, both unable to speak as you walked up to his room, the room you had spent countless nights sleeping at. The room where you both spoke of your dreams and aspirations, the room where he had fallen even more in love with you.

You sat on his bed refusing to meet his eye as he leant against his door, “what happened?” His phone remained chucked to the ground, the lock screen of the both of you flashed as the group chat seemed to be buzzing about something. He was about to walk over and check it but your croaky voice stopped him.

“Don’t…please.” He looked at your figure, the way you look vulnerable and almost nimble, he moved to your body, hands against your shoulder as you leant into his own. Tears finally falling freely onto his shirt, “I…I thought he liked me Porco.”

“What did Reiner do?”

The whisper and tension around the room was low but he kept you close by his arms, “we…we were supposed to hang out and when I met up with him he was all over Historia.”

Porco’s eyes flashed in rage, Reiner had no right to do that to you. To his girl and at that moment all he could think about was the hurting you must feel, he may have hated Reiner from the beginning but seeing you with tears from an undeserving man broke him the most. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

You both stayed in each other’s arms, his lingering touches and eyes that filled with so much love as he kept a hold of you. His perfect girl that would never be his, “don’t leave me Poc.” It had been a whisper but the way his hand caressed your hair, the illuminating moon cascading through the background as it lit up the room. Every memory and past version of yourself, you looked out seeing the picture of the two of you from years ago, “that was the day I fell in love with you.”

Porco stayed silent, he didn’t think you understood what you had said, pointing at the two of you at the treehouse his father had made for you at 13, but he remembered that day as if it was yesterday.

“I can't believe he actually made it for you both,” you got all giddy as you climbed the ladder, Marcel already up there, you helped Porco up as you looked inside the treehouse.

Porco shrugged as you both looked around the place, the disposable camera your mother had given you around your neck as you stayed firm in your want to take pictures of the world. He watched you take pictures of the different parts of the treehouse, one of Marcel sleeping as he finally showed you what he had brought.

“We can put our names in the tree, make the world know we were here.” Your eyes widened as Porco wrote his initials with a plus underneath and you wrote your own. The way he told you to keep your eyes closed as he engrained around your names a heart, you had always thought it was a friendship heard but wanted it to be a heart of love. A sign of new beginnings of a relationship that could possibly occur. “Now we’re together forever.”

You hugged the boy as the two of you spent the rest of the day in the treehouse, his mother coming and taking the exact picture of the two of you that was now plastered against Porco’s wall.

It was beautiful and you didn’t mean to confess your own truths, Porco stared back at you, his eyes widening as he grabbed your wrist. “Y/n…”

“Forget what I said.” You muttered as you looked back out of the window, more and more memories each one holding moments of how deep your love ran for one another. The first time you both went swimming and Porco helped you into the deep end or the many trips out to the beach where you and Porco would run into the sea.

Childhood friends meant nothing when all you both really wanted to be was lovers. And as his firm grip stayed on you, his eyes filled with wonder and desire looked back at you with lust and love. All he could see was love, a type of love that had only ever been shown for you because he knew there would never be anybody else.

“It’s you, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted, and I hope what I heard was true, I pray it was because Reiner doesn’t deserve you Y/n, I…I need you.” The last part was nothing more than a murmur but as you finally looked into his eyes, his pretty smile and pretty face. He knew you knew; he knew that there was something more than that, “we were never just friends.”

With those final words, reality hit the two of you both were never just friends. He gave you a look, his eyes filled with lust as he looked down at your lips, hands moving to hold onto your waist. His love, his girl in his arms for the first time, “I love…”

You trailed off as his lips met your own, the tears having stopped and your hands cupping his cheeks. His soft full of life cheeks filled with admiration and adoration at the girl that had finally become his, he loved you, he did and now he knew that you loved him.

The kiss was soft, you both stayed in one another’s arms as his soft lips kept at a boundary but as soon as a moan slipped from your mouth his tongue had divulged inside. The heat from the past decade all coming to this one kiss, one look at you and he finally saw his love, the truth behind his sadness.

He had hated seeing you kiss Reiner, he had and now he would put that hatred and replace it with the love he had for you. He put you down onto his bed, his hands around your waist as he kept his mouth on your own. Kissing you with such passion and drive that his parents could probably hear the squeak of the bed.

He looked down at you, having finally let you go, arms to your side as he looked at his love. “I love you.” He knew he was repeating his love, but he wanted you to know, wanted you to never forget that his love knew no bounds that he would forever be yours and hopefully you’d forever be his.

He was about to kiss you once more, but you spoke just as his lips gilded against one another, the hush of it all, the way his breath fanned against your lips. You licked your lips and Porco could almost taste your saliva as he waited to hear your words. Waited to see the woman he loved speak truths about their future with one another, your hands wrapped around his neck making sure to not bring him to another kiss.

Instead to see his eyes widen at the proximity of another, the way he kneeled between your legs, spreading your dress apart, the way his hands stayed firm against your head. An intimate moment for the two souls who had finally become one, “I want you, you…you deserve to know the truth.”

He hesitated but nodded waiting for a reply, he didn’t care if whatever your next words ruined any moment the two of you were about to have. He just wanted to hear you say your wants and needs for him one last time.

“Reiner…he was a distraction…I thought you liked Pieck so…so I let you pursue that.” You whispered, he hated thinking that you thought he liked Pieck, the way you went to Reiner as an alternative when the two of you could have just spoken about your feelings.

But at this moment he didn’t care, he had you in his bed, in his arms and the past meant nothing to him when he knew there was a future for you both. “I’ve loved you since I kicked your sandcastle Y/n and I’ll love you for the years to come”

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just fill out the form in my navigation or send an ask and i’ll add you xx

@samusimp @alaina-rose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage @cathy8taffy @moonlightaangel @kat-sukis-hoe @effmigentlywithachainsaw @swankiifiied @maat-the-prescriptive @kuroos-world @levisfilm @katsuhera @answer-the-sirens @animexholic @wapbenders @the-shota-king-masayuki @bakugousmrs @crystal-lilac @dai-tsukki-desu @fandomsinthegalaxies @crimsonbows-and-arrows @admin-in-residence @otterlockholmes @gabrann @zlatanakermann @c0urtn3y @bakuhoesworld @halloweeniebicth @jaegerswifey @ukigxmo @decayedz @ackeroki @peachysimp @deargalaxy @strawberryspices @n0baraa @shisoaya @suna-reversed

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ablednt · 3 years ago

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so we’ve talked a lot abt how si’s aren’t exempt from criticism and that’s 100% valid but i feel like the “you being autistic doesn’t make you exempt from criticism” has somewhat gotten twisted on here? like there’s a difference between promoting harry potter or other bigoted shit and like. collecting squishmallows or using emojis to communicate. like those things are harmless and allistic ppl are too comfortable demonizing “weird” but otherwise harmless behavior in autistic ppl for no reason.

I agree but I think mainly the people calling out the ways that (primarily white) autistic people weaponize their traits and interests and the people demonizing "embarrassing" autistic traits and disability aids are different groups of people with two different goals.

First group is mainly marginalized nd and autistic people victimized by the behaviors called out and the other is a mix of allistic ableists, autistic people who have decided to make their internalized ableism every one else's problem, and clowns in bad faith discourse circles who have run out of things to put on the latest callout post against florpio from their discord server for being mildly annoying.

The former group is more diverse and so the discussions go a lot of different places, most good some ineffective or distracting, but should generally be encouraged. The autistic community specifically still has a huge bigotry problem, with many of the popularized autistic people online and irl being white, able bodied, normal to high empathy, fully or mostly speaking, and free of any unpalatable traits and any political opinions that bother allistics such as aspirations to fight structural ableism etc. Even I don't fully consider myself apart of the community anymore simply because I've been pushed away so much just for being plural and having more stigmatized disorders and I know online I still generally fall into a privileged position of being able to mask the things that make me marginalized. So there's a lot of criticism that needs to be done and it definitely doesn't start and end with special interests.

The latter group I'm afraid we simply cannot get through to. Their goal is to push us down and intimidate us, there will always be something with them that makes us all toxic, embarrassing, unworthy etc. They know what they're doing is bad, they know what they harass people over is truly harmless, that's the entire point. They are metaphorically hammering us back into our place (masking our traits and completely silent about autistic specific activism or anything that would anger allistic people). Debating them doesn't work the only effective things I've seen are 1. Ignore them completely and 2. Mock and discredit them the same way many of them do to us. (Have y'all noticed a decrease in certain brands of ableism online lately since people started parodying empaths and making them all look pathetic? Tiktokers did more damage to that hate group with their satire posts that got read as genuine than any PSA about why people with low empathy deserve respect ever could)

But yeah like it's not the same discussion and I still think we need more criticism of behaviors normalized by the autistic community (from the former group which is almost entirely autistic as well) not less if that makes sense?

#ask to tag

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write-like-you-mean-it · 4 years ago

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Hmm my favorite color is blue, the soft ones like baby blue, pastel blue or even turquoise. Personality traits... I'm an INTP, I'm a bit touch-starved, I'm not big in PDA, I'm really happy to make other ppl happy, maybe with giving them something, telling some jokes etc, but I'm pretty lazy too lol. I'm a bit too emotional. I'm a booksmart too. And... For hobbies, I have so many hobbies, and I have to be in a certain mood to do each of them, but currently my hobbies are writing, playing games, and talking to my online friends.

Could I possibly get a match up? Sjsks (I read your post earlier so if you're not doing this anymore feel free to delete this)

I’m still doing the event! Sorry its taken a bit. School was insanely exhausting. You didn’t say what fandom so I’m going to pick whichever one I want! I’m pairing you with...

Kenma Kozume

Here me out. Kenma is extremely intelligent and pretty go with the flow. I think the two of you would be perfect because you both will help each other expand your emotional range while driving each other to be better people. He seems like one that doesn’t like a lot of PDS but enjoys the soft, calm touches.

How you two ended up dating:

You joined a discord server in hope of making new friends and playing the most recent game that came out. Most of the time, you stuck to texting the group in general or being a silent observer.

One day, you decided to hop into a chatroom with 3 other people that were playing the same game you were. On the call was Kenma and a few other people you’d talk with daily.

Neither of you were big flirts except Kenma always ended up being on the same time as you. You slowly started to do calls with just each other.

The calls started out about the game. Kenma would give you tips on how to improve while beating you almost every time. You started to get frustrated at the lack of progress you were making. You were about to log off when Kenma said “wait, we don’t have to play any game?”

“What do you mean?” you questioned.

Kenma pauses for a moment. Thinking over the choices that led him there. “We can keep talking. I like listening to you speak.” Even though, he never explicitly asked to date you, the two of you became an inseparable couple to this day!

This may not have been the person you were wanting but I think they fit really well for you! I think you two wold be so cute together. Thank you for participating in the event! If anyone else wants to join, please send me an ask!!

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soupncrackwrs · 5 years ago

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Okay so I had an idea for an AFTG fic but again I’m horrible at anything that isn’t hc’s so here we are (feel free to make this into a fic if you want just credit me) *Also all pairing in this are platonic besides andreil and mattdan soo, don’t like get out*

This spawned from that fact that one of my 3 PTP’s (platonic trust pairing) in AFTG is Kev and Neil

This is probably my PTP that has the most popularity in the fandom I’d say (my other 2 are Renee/Andrew/Neil and Neil/Dan which are both *really* hard to find ((at least on ao3)) so that sucks) but you’d be surprised how little it gets like actually focused on

Most times, platonic wise, Neil gets shown bonding with The MonstersTM, Allison, or Matt

wHICH IS FINE IM TOTALLY OKAY W/ THAT

I just happen to enjoy neil/dan, kev/neil,and renee/andrew/neil more

So I wanted a fic that really showcased kev and neils relationship

BUT IM ALSO IN LOVE WITH OUSIDER POV SO THIS HAPPENED

Now onto the actual headcanon

So neil and kevin are like best friends

They've been like that for a while

but they also like fucking despise each other

like they love and care deeply for each other and would probably die for the other if the situation called for it

but will that stop them from almost killing each other 24/7?

HELL NO

so they go to college together

along with all the upperclassmen (so matt+dan+allison+renee+seth) but not the monsters

andrew and neil have been together for a bit

they met around the same time kev and neil did so they've been together for a while (also while we're talking abt relationships, i don't ship renison ((am i the only one who believes that renee is a strong aro gal who don't need no man/lady/person)) but if you wanna make this renison, go ahead)

andrew goes to a different college tho ( for some reason i dunno)

and neil doesn't really like sharing stuff abt his personal life

we all know this

but a lot of the stuff he's done in his life involves andrew

so drew is brought up a fair amount

but when the upperclassmen ask who he is neil kinda just smiles and then moves on so they ask kevin and he's like

oh andrew is like one of my bffls he's a ride or die

(obviously not phrased like that)

and the upperclassmen r like 'ok he can be trusted he's a friend'

(little do they know hehhehhe-)

sO ONE DAY

kev is tryna forget all his issues

so he decides to get hella pissed

wasted like he's never been b4

probably cause thea broke up w/ him last week but we don't talk abt that okay shhhhhhh

so he goes to the next party alli throws and

let's say it together kids

gets wasted like he's never been b4

to the point where the upperclassmen don't really know wht to do with him????

so they call up neil like yo pick up kev he's drunk off his ass like always but we think he's doing it cause he's sad this time'

so neil, being the good and sweet angel (not) that he is

goes to pick up kevin

and like he finds him on a coach almost catatonic just rambling to himself

so neil picks him up and drags him away to his car

and ofc all the upperclassmen r trying to help

so while neil is putting kevin into his car kev randomly just stops talking

(which is weird cause he's kept rambling this entire time)

and he looks neil in the eyes and goes

'i love you neil'

and neil just like takes a second

pAuSeS

because he's not used to people showing him love even tho so many ppl rlly do love him (this boy is2g-)

and then quietly says

'love you too kev'

and finishes buckling him up

all the upperclassmen have been watching this going on the entire time and they read into in the exact wrong way

(they're trying their best, my baby dumbasses, but they're just wrong)

and think this is a romantic love confession between frenimies *instead* of the declaration of mutual respect and affection between 2 bro's that it is

matt is the first one to voice this after kev and neil leave and he is

PUMPED

he is super excited that his bro has found someone to love just like he found dan and is super excited to like talk abt love and go on double dates n stuff

and every one else agrees

which is why they're all super disappointed that by the time a week goes by, nothing has changed between them

so dan matt and allison decide to do something about it (renee+seth ducking out because'it's rude to meddle' and 'why tf would i care abt jostens love bullshit')

they try to set up kevin and neil a bunch of different time s

once with the offer of a study session that they all say they can't make it to, leaving neil and kevin alone

another time with the offer of kevin and neil going to the movies w/ matt and dan

(neil ends up busy w/ a skype date with andrew that he can't pass up cause they're always so busy and he has to see his boyf so kevin just ends up 3rd wheeling matt and dan)

and once with allison straight up just telling neil that he and kevin should get coffee some time

which neil respond to with

'we already get coffee together?'

so dan matt and alli are stumped

they don't know what to do with these 'lovesick' idiots

they're problem gets solved tho don't you worry

so the next weekend, andrew is gonna come over to psu and stay for like a week

neil is oVER THE MOON

HE IS SOO HAPPYYYYY

And kevin is really happy too

so the upperclassmen take this to mean that these boys have finally gotten the hint and asked each other out

so imagine they're suprise when the next time the group goes to get lunch (which they do with each other every wednesday )

a super short blond emo joins them

and no one really acknowledges it?!?!?!?!?!?

until renee is just like 'hello andrew, how are you?' knowing smile on her face

and the upperclassmen are just like 'oh it's the famous andrew, that makes sense' but then they're like 'wait how does renee know andrew?!?!'

they ask and renee is just like 'neil gave me his discord. he thought we'd get along well'

-and then they're just like okayyy renee totally has a crush but well let it slideee

uNTIL

at the end of lunch neil is just like 'oh wait i never properly introduced him-' -cause you're a mess, junkie' -fuck off andrew' then just turns to the upperclassmen and says

'guys this is my boyfriend andrew'

and the foxes just silently freak out

because neil is in love with kevin? it's so clear? why did neil go and get a boyf when he has his love right in front of him??????

so after lunch, matt dan and alli ask to talk to neil privately

(andrew, kev,and renee all talk together while seth like, looks at his phone)

and they're like 'neil why'd you get a boyf??'

and neils like 'wdym?'

and alli says 'why'd you get a boyf if your so obviously in love w/ kevin?!'

and neil just LAUGHS at them

straight up cackles

and then the upperclassmen are like whaaaaattttt????

we saw your declaration of love at the party??

and you're both really close and seem to genuinely like and be interested in each other??

what gives????

and neils like

'me n kev are besties

that was a platonic declaration of love

also

i'm demi and me and drew have been together for like 3 years now'

and the upperclassmen are just like 'ooooooooooooooooohhhhhh sorryyyyyyyyy'

it's the first time alli has ever lost a bet (it was w/ seth abt neils feelings for kevin)

neil tells andrew abt it and the shortie just snorts and is like 'kevin would fuck a racket quicker than he'd fuck you'

neil is like 'i'm basically exy personified tho, soooooo'

drew tells him to shut up

(he does when andrew asks yes or no, just nods his head and smiles)

renee knew all along and is happy for her friends

kevin just wants to play exy he's been deprived the entire post

So yeah that's the entire headcanon. If you want some music to listen to while you write or just in general i recommend "I lost a Friend" by FINNEAS and "Corduroy Dreams" by Rex Orange County. they don't really have anything to do with the story, they're just real good :) Thanks for reading. see y'all later

#Spotify #aftg fandom #aftg au #andreil #psu foxes #outsider pov #headcanon #fanfic #sorry for the long post #thanks for coming to my ted talk #im gonna stop now #aight peace

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mistsinthenight · 8 years ago

Text

This is long and personal, I'm sorry, I just had to get it out. Writing it like this and putting it out where it could be seen helps. I don't know why, but it helps.

It seems I am even less emotionally stable than I thought. I am sitting at the history section in the college library, because it was the most empty one in this floor. I came here specifically because of that. I needed a place with relative privacy so I could break down (a bathroom stall would make it hard to breath after a while, without AC). It's been building up for around two and a half hours. It doesn't even make sense, for me to be like this. It was not so bad, probably, and it's not like I didn't see it coming. I knew I was getting worse, I just hadn't realized it came to that point. So what happened is that I got a talk from my boss saying I have to improve my social skills immediately. Communicate better, speak louder, and basically be more sociable. He also said people found it hard to talk to me and that sometimes I gave harsh answers (which I don't remember happening but both me not realizing and doing it in the first place are probably because of the sleep deprivation - I get like that when I'm tired. I just hadn't realized it was happening at work). It's not such a big deal, right? I've been like that all my life. Except he had to take the time to point it out and demand that I fix it. And he's right. It's not good that I am like this. It's bad, actually. But I don't know how to be any different. You can ask me to be more sociable, but how do I do that? What does that entail? If I Google "how to be more communicative" I'll get answers telling me to "speak my mind" and "don't be afraid of what others will say" and shit like that. That doesn't help me, damn. When people are talking, I know I'm expected to contribute, say something, state my opinion, but I don't have one, usually. I don't know what to say. I never know what to say. I can't strike conversation, I can't keep conversation going. I can monologue for an hour about something I'm passionate about, if there's the right environment, but doing that with other people? I can't. I don't know how to. I know these people skills are something I have to develop, that I won't be able to stay at any job without them. It has to happen, but how do I make it happen? When I start thinking that "this has to happen, I have to do this, be like this", the opposite occurs. I need someone to tell me exactly what to do, how to act, how to behave, because I can't figure it out on my own. I need help. But what kind of help? From whom? And I know it could be much worse, who am I to talk about this, I don't have real issues, but it still has me a mess in the back of a library, hiding between the bookshelves. I have class in 90 minutes and I'll have to get out of here before that to get something to eat and splash cold water on my face. I've been here almost 40 minutes and I calm down for a while, but later it starts anew. Two times I've cried and I'm calmer right now, but I still feel like the wrong line of thought will get me crying again. I am supposed to figure my shit out today and come to work bouncing tomorrow, suddenly a different person. Is the impression I got from what I was told. How would I ever be able to pull that off? Ah, I'm crying again. I just started thinking that I feel lonely. I am usually surrounded by people, daily, but there's no one I'm close to. My group of friends from high school is growing apart, we've been growing apart since the end of classes in December 2015, we barely talk anymore, we rarely meet. When I try to initiate a conversation in our group chat no one answers, or one person does, and it doesn't go further. I miss them so much, I miss what we had, seeing each other everyday for four years. How do I keep friendships from falling apart? I know it's happening because of the distance, at least mostly. We live in different cities and work and study, there's no time for anything else, it's not just me, or is it? Do they want to keep this? I don't know. I miss what it was like with Jade Eagle, in Guild Wars 2. I joined them in the end of 2014. That's two and a half years ago. There were 13 members, including me. Since then, we grew fast, and today we have (or had, when I last logged in a few weeks ago) just short of 100 members. I don't know most of them. I know the older crew, the guild leaders and officers and senior members, but there are so many strangers now. And guild chat is dead, most of the time I was online. It used to, but it doesn't feel like home anymore. Hasn't for a long time. To be honest, hasn't since I took a five month hiatus starting in May last year, at least. That was the time I joined Lumia, in FFXIV. We have always been small, and happy to stay that way. We're close. I was close to them. It felt like family. It felt /right/, like I belonged. But now I haven't really talked to anyone since college started, because I don't have the time to play anything anymore. What I did with Dragon Age already took it's toll on my studies. I haven't played FFXIV in a month, at least, and I miss Lumia so much. We have a discord channel, and it's pretty active, but I don't usually talk there. I can talk with them in game, it feels natural, but outside it's not the same for me. If I start or join a discussion, or something, it doesn't take long for me to not know what to say, and I fall silent. That happens much less often if I'm talking to someone in game, and that's probably because then we're talking more about the game. Why am I like this? I miss them, and I have a viable method of communication at all times, with my phone, but I don't use it. It's getting dark outside. I got distracted talking about that. Back to the point, where do I even start looking? What am I supposed to do? What's it gonna be like tomorrow, when I have to go back to work and have figured my shit out, but probably didn't? My internship from high school (which had a technical course, I studied electrotechnics) is over, and I'm going to continue as an intern, but through college, since the areas match and I could do it. It wasn't their plan, though. They wanted to hire me to work 8 (actually nearly 9) hours a day, and it wouldn't be manageable while doing 5 classes this semester, which is why I asked for that. Several times after college started I thought that I'd quit after these 6 months are over, in September, but today I made a decision. I am going to quit then. I even know exactly how to justify it, and it will be true (it is true), but my main reason is that I can't take it anymore. I hadn't actually thought about what quitting would entail, but today I did. I won't even look for another job this year, I'll wait until 2018. And I know that it could - and probably will - be worse, if I manage to get one. But I knew this was not something I was going to do indefinitely, and that I probably wouldn't be able to stay for over a year. What quitting means, for me, is that I won't have a personal income anymore. My parents are paying for my tuition, for which I'll be eternally grateful, and so I hate to take their money for anything else. I've been buying a lot of stuff that resonates with my core, and fan merch. That'll have to stop, immediately. If I save as much as possible, I could have around R$5000 by the end of this new internship. That's around $1600. It could pay for a bit more than two months of college, five classes, but not three months. I've no idea how long it would last if I didn't help pay for my tuition and used it for the rest of the things I need, though. But it would probably be less than I'm spending daily right now, if only because I'd eat mostly at home, while I don't work. I realize I'm getting to logistics I shouldn't really be sharing, but it calms me, to write everything I'm thinking about. Remnants of the days I used to write, perhaps. (Back at 2011/2012 I used to be a part of some RPG forums, RPGs where everything is written, and the story builds step after step. I grew out of it.) I didn't look up anything I was supposed to - how do I become more communicative? More sociable? Better to be around and talk to? - but I feel more stable, now. I think I'm ready to go outside. I would say I'm sorry about dumping all this on you, if there's even anyone who would read everything, but I'm not. Writing made me feel better and I wrote it thinking about sharing it, so it would've been a waste of time if I don't.

#personal

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