#i'm actually cracking up this act was by FAR the funniest

[viola-ophelia]

act 3 opens with bland trying to convince washington to spare andre’s life. it’s honestly lowkey funny because washington is totally like “omg i don’t have time for this” and tells bland to get to the point because he’s rambling LOL. 

bland finally comes out and says this, which again, is just portraying him as hilariously down bad for andre. (i wonder why dunlap invented this character tbh, since i feel like he could’ve used hamilton as a historically accurate person who opposed andre’s death and was highly complimentary of him). 

washington shuts him down by explaining - which is true! - that pardoning andre is simply not possible because he needs to die in order to abide by the “laws of war” and set a precedent against treason in the army in the future. 

he tries to offer bland a promotion to soften the blow a bit, but bland gets really mad, tears his cockade (the “badge of virtuous fellowship”) off his helmet, and threatens to quit the army because they CLEARLY don’t understand the meaning of virtue lolol. 

we’re back to mrs. bland and the kids in act 3 scene 2. they’re at camp, and mrs. bland finds melville (remember him? he’s the other sentinel from the first scene) and shows him the letter all distraught. melville is like “lol, chillax, it’s just an empty threat,” but she’s not buying it. 

suddenly, bland shows up (jeez, why does this guy have twice as much screen time as andre??) and mrs. bland explains what’s going on. they decide to go try and persuade washington (again) to pardon andre so bland’s dad won’t die too... somehow i feel like this isn’t gonna go well lol. 

after that, we’re back to washington. he’s received some correspondence from general clinton about andre, and is pissed that clinton is trying to claim that andre isn’t really a spy and therefore can’t be executed (interesting; clinton and andre’s roles are reversed here, since IRL andre was the one more so trying to get himself traded or pardoned while clinton was forced to realize his hands were tied). 

this scene is a pretty historically accurate representation of the discourse between, and thought processes of, the two sides. washington and clinton, despite the latter being distraught over what has happened, both understand the rules of military protocol, and both are coming to realize that there really is no way to save andre without violating it.   

we’re FINALLY back to andre in act 3, scene 3. he’s dressed in his full uniform, awaiting his fate, when bland shows up. he asks bland if he appealed to washington about changing his death from hanging to a firing squad, and bland is like “oopsies, i forgot, but i DID try to ask him to save you!! didn’t work tho :(.” 

andre is like “dude wtf, you had ONE JOB.” then he starts having an existential crisis hahaha. 

bland tells andre that clinton is using his dad as a pawn and threatening to kill him if washington doesn’t pardon andre, and andre freaks out because he doesn’t want anyone else dying because of him. he tells bland he’ll send one last letter before he dies trying to get clinton not to kill bland’s dad, because he feels like if he doesn’t, then he’ll die “infamous” lol. 

again, it’s really interesting how andre (and everyone else) is SO concerned with legacy in this play. it’s as if andre’s legacy is being shaped before our eyes - or perhaps is already shaped. that’s the question, isn’t it? will saving bland’s dad actually make sure andre doesn’t go down in history in a bad light, or has the memory of him in the american consciousness already been set in stone and there’s nothing he or anyone else can do about it?  

act 4, scene 4 is a long and heated argument between bland and mcdonald (one of the other american soldiers) about whether or not andre is actually a spy. bland, our resident andre simp, ofc thinks he isn’t, but mcdonald thinks he is and therefore does not deserve his pity. 

this whole back-and-forth is yet another example of andre being talked ABOUT - by the other side - without actually appearing onstage or being able to speak for himself. he is, thus far, the only british character with any “screen time” (clinton has only been mentioned) in a play that is dominated by american voices and presences. he has also only been in three scenes so far despite being the main character! 

mcdonald makes some really interesting points in favor of NOT pitying or commending andre. he tells bland that andre may have “sav’d his life, yet strove to damn his country” - in other words, a spy is a spy and treason is treason, no matter how gentlemanly he seems or how nice he behaves toward any one individual. it’s honestly a great counterargument to the play’s main message because it really pushes back against the idea that even an enemy can also be a good man. to mcdonald, an enemy is an enemy, and he’s got a point! bland is being overly sentimental and, frankly, losing sight of his OWN principles by focusing on how andre saved his life and ignoring the fact that he also, uhh, tried to destroy the patriot cause lol. 

just as bland and mcdonald seem about to start throwing punches, mrs. bland shows up, still all upset because clinton has still not agreed to let bland’s father live. mcdonald shows her to his quarters where his wife will tend to her, and the scene ends there. 

act 4, scene 5 - we’re back with bland and andre. before he goes in to meet him, bland has this interesting little soliloquy where he grapples with guilt over still sympathizing for andre despite knowing he’s kinda betraying his own side by doing so. at the end, we get a glimpse of the almost superhuman poise and resolve that eyewitnesses claim andre met his death with - used here to make bland (and the audience) feel almost sacrilegious. the way bland talks about andre’s death almost verges on portraying him as a christ-figure at times - as if he’s dying to absolve others of their sins. i think that’s a really interesting but also hugely presumptuous stance for the play to take, because like... self-sacrifice has to be a choice, doesn’t it? and andre’s death certainly wasn’t something that he chose irl. 

andre shows up and tells bland that he managed to get clinton not to kill bland’s dad. then he mentions his “mistress,” and bland is like ?? and demands to know who she is. andre is... pretty vague about it lol, but it’s obvious that he’s talking about honora sneyd (who by 1780 had married another guy). 

oh my gosh. i can’t even make this up, this is so absurd HAHAHAHAHA. but right after he says this, there’s a voice outside, and HONORA RANDOMLY SHOWS UP. 

GIRL WHAT???? WHY ARE YOU HERE?? i’m cackling, this is so random. 

i have nothing to analyze about this except HAHAHAHAHAHA

honestly? they’re both so melodramatic, they’re perfect for each other.

apparently honora never married the other guy (which is just, like, factually incorrect but i support the creative liberties LOL) and has somehow apparated to the colonies just in time to see andre before he dies... i say apparated because come on, ship voyages across the atlantic took weeks in the eighteenth century HAHA, how on earth did she get here so fast??? 

melville and a random guard choose this exact moment to show up to lead andre to his execution lol. honora tries to argue with them and tell them not to do it, and FOR SOME REASON THEY AGREE AND LEAVE HAHAHA. honestly, a girlboss moment! 

the 4th act ends with andre and honora (and bland, i guess? still standing there awkwardly LOL) reuniting and being like “omg i’m sure providence is on our side and the execution won’t go ahead.” ...sure, jan. 

hey all you andre sexyman truthers: i’m reading André (1798) by William Dunlap so you don’t have to!

a bit of background about WTF this is: written only 18 years after his execution, andré (1798) is considered one of the first examples of american tragedy. it’s a 5-act play dramatizing john andre’s life and death that - despite being written by a self-professed patriot - is VERY sympathetic toward andre, who is the undisputed hero of the play. drawing inspiration from anna seward’s “monody on major andre” (the background of which, if you’re interested, is explained very well here), dunlap focuses heavily on andre’s relationship with honora sneyd, a young englishwoman who he had been engaged to - and forced to break from by her disapproving family for financial reasons - right before enlisting in the british army. anyway, if that didn’t bore you to death and scare you away LOL, i’m gonna be liveblogging this as i read it, starting with the prologue! 

right from the get-go, i can tell william dunlap is a major simp for andre (aren’t we all…) LOL. 

i DO love the disclaimer that this isn’t necessarily historically accurate. sue me, but i actually fully support creative license in historical fiction! but yeah, maybe don’t use this as a source of actual facts about andre’s life lol. 

the last stanza of the prologue is basically like “teehee don’t judge my writing too harshly,” which, same, dunlap, same. 

i shall reblog this with more commentary as i get into the actual meat of the play!! 

[iminlovewithroymustang]

Hello hello @iminlovewithroymustang! 💖

Would you like to do a "get to know me" kind of post? As much or as little as you'd like to share about your interests, hobbies, etc.! About what makes you excited, what keeps you going! 😍

I'm also curious about your art! What inspires your style? How long have you been drawing?

Ahah, maybe that's too many questions! I'll probably come back for future "asks" LOL.

Have a wonderful day~

Hi @aicasey! Thanks so much for asking! Brace yourself for a stupid long response. *cracks knuckles* Teehee.

I am a Drama and Education student currently. Sooo… I guess I like theater. Hahaha. I’ve been doing a lot of stage management, directing, and acting lately.

As far as *visual* art goes it’s something I’ve dabbled in here and there but I wouldn’t say I actually started trying until like 2 weeks ago! 🤯 It all started when…

I began re-obsessing over Royai(fma) this summer and started chatting with some people about one of my FAVORITE fics, “A Fuhrer’s Play” (please read. It’s so so good). We’ve been coming up with the funniest, craziest fan theories for the fic and I thought, “Hey I want to turn these crazy ideas into fan art/comics!” Here is my first (and only) comic attempt 2 weeks ago:

ANNNNND that’s when I realized I there was no way in hell I was gonna just snap my fingers and be able to poop out a comic. I needed to start off a little slower… draw everybody once, then start putting them together, and (hopefully) soon put them into funny little comics. Or dark comics. We shall see.

Currently, I have two MOs: laughing like a lunatic, or sipping on angst tea and loving every second of it. So I guess my art “style��� so far has been inspired by one of those two moods. 🤷‍♀️

Thanks for the ask! I hope that answers your questions reasonably well and that you also have a wonderful day!!! 💖😜

Update: Oops. I lied. This was part two of my original comic attempt a few days later. (And this is when I realized Goodnotes is SHIT for trying to colorize things so I downloaded procreate)🤣

[nessaxc]

___________________________________

Date Night || Gojo Satoru

Gojo takes you out to dinner, but the flirty waitress at the restaurant really gets on your nerves, so Gojo is determined to assure you that he only has eyes for you.

~ Words: 2.5k

~ NSFW 18+

___________________________________

"I'm glad I got to see you tonight, I've missed my princess," he leaned across the table to nuzzle his nose against yours gently, and you returned the same motion with a soft giggle.

"I've missed you too," you replied, "it's about time you made some time for me," you added.

"Well, you know, Tokyo keeps me busy," he told you with a chuckle, "but I had to take my best girl out, I know how lonely she gets without me around," he teased.

You giggled and propped your elbow up on the dinner table, balancing your chin in your hand as you held his gaze. He was smiling and shaking his head at you, mimicking your pose, only he rested both elbows on the table and cupped his face with his hands as he looked at you from across the table.

"You look beautiful in that dress by the way, but what else is new, huh?" he winked and broke eye contact for a moment to admire the dress that perfectly hugged your figure, "I'm glad you wore it."

You giggled again at that and twirled a small section of hair around your index finger, smiling down at your lap for a moment before you looked back up at him.

"I'm glad you wore that suit and tie. You should wear it more often, because you clean up pretty well," you grinned and leaned forward slightly to whisper, "by the way, you're really pretty too."

"Am I really pretty?" he joked and batted his lashes, letting his jaw hang slack with a smirk that tugged at the corners of his mouth over the way you instantly cracked up laughing. He chuckled airily as he continued to look you up and down, and you had to turn away in attempt to hide the deep blossoming of your cheeks.

"Yes, you're very pretty," you said with a soft chuckle when you turned back to him.

..

"Good evening, can I get you anything?"

A young waitress made her way onto the scene before Gojo could respond to you, and she appeared to be addressing just him rather than both of you. She beamed brightly at him and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, letting out a hint of a giggle that you couldn't help but roll your eyes at.

"Some menus would be nice," he grinned up at her and she flaunted her smile right back at him, making it a mission to maintain eye contact for as long as possible and throw in a bat of the lashes here and there.

"I'll go get those for you right now," she bowed her head and smiled softly, but she didn't leave until she'd make a point of leaning towards him slightly to tell him, "by the way, that tie looks great on you, really compliments your complexion."

She was already flirting with him right in front of you whilst being so brazen about it, and it was really taking everything in you not to totally snap. You didn't want dinner to be spoiled by your temper, though, you could already feel yourself starting to lose your appetite because you were red hot with anger right now. You sat there silently and waited for her to leave, gritting your teeth and casting your gaze downward the entire time.

"Thank you very much," he thanked her before she walked away and when he turned back around to face you, he was greeted by raised brows, pursed lips and your eyes glimmering for the wrong reasons. You half-smirked at him and cleared your throat whilst picking at your nails to avoid looking up at him.

"I think she's expecting a tip from you tonight," you managed to make a joke out of it and mustered a small laugh.

He chuckled lightly and acted completely dismissive about it, waving it off as her following some sort of transcript, "It's just service with a smile, Y/N."

He insisted, but you just forced a smile on your face. You fiddled with the cutlery that rested to your side and toyed with the napkin as well, offering yourself a distraction rather than look up at him for the moment.

"Yeah, too many smiles in your direction, though, if you ask me," you sassed, and he laughed loudly at that.

"Babe, something the matter?" he raised an eyebrow curiously, an amused grin on his face. Before you had the time to open your mouth and retort, she soon returned with the menus.

She carelessly laid yours down in front of you while she actually handed Gojo his, making sure to brush her hand over his as she did so. You glared at her but your look went missed, and you were doing a pretty good job of keeping your mouth shut so far, no matter how badly you wanted to tell this girl to back off.

She started babbling on about something that he should try on the menu, ensuring to flash him her smile and bat her lashes some more. She was giggling like he had told the funniest joke, and you were clutching onto a fork tightly with a hand, thinking about digging it deep into her neck. Gojo was a bad influence on you. She brought her hand closer to his so she could flip through the pages and show him exactly what she was describing. You cleared your throat and decided to speak up, because this girl was getting on your last nerve.

"Could you give us a few moments to decide what we're having? Thank you," you gave her possibly the most painfully forced smile you could muster, somehow managing to keep a level head when she withdrew her hand and acknowledged you for the first time since she'd stop at your table. She simply nodded and smiled meekly before walking away, and Gojo’s bright blue eyes shot towards you to give you a look that was nothing short of sheer surprise at how sharp you'd been in your manner of speech.

"Did I miss something?" he cracked up laughing, "My little kitten's got a sharp set of claws, eh?" he remarked before his laughter starting to die down. "I thought she was a rather nice lady," he said with another chuckle.

He scanned over the menu to find a dish that stood out to him. You squinted at him and leaned into him, lightly bringing the menu down to have him look you in the eyes instead.

"Really, Satoru? I wouldn't class the light touches on the hand, the needless giggling and overall acting like a fucking schoolgirl with a crush as just 'being nice'," you snapped slightly, "she's flirting with you, a lot, and I'm sick of it."

"Oh, I see where this is going," he said with a knowing smirk that stretched its way across his lips a few seconds later. You noticed this and your hand targeted your menu in an instant as some form of shield to hide behind to avoid the stares he was giving you, and he lowered your menu down just like you had done to him.

"I think somebody's jealous when she really doesn't need to be," he sang and kept his eyes trained on your face. "So what if she's flirting a little bit? I'm not interested in the slightest," he told you, and you heaved a sigh before he continued, "you have nothing to worry about, my sweet," he said with a smirk, amused with your envy.

"Seriously? You mean that?" you asked, nibbling on your lower lip.

"Course I do," he said, "she could be on her knees begging for my cock and I would say no if that'd make you feel better about it," he finished, and you laughed at that.

"I'm not even feeling that hungry anymore," you said, "she's just so irritating," you huffed, and he looked at you like he was thinking of something until his brain hatched an idea.

"Forget about dinner, I know what will cheer you up, c'mon," he stretched his arm out for you to grab his hand, and you quickly took it in yours. He walked with you until you both reached the closest bathroom - the women's room.

"Um, Satoru, I don't think you're supposed to be in here," you quipped with a short giggle.

"Oh trust me, I am," he cooed. Once the door was closed, he lifted you up by your thighs and pinned you to the wall, his lips attacking your neck in little bites and harsh kisses, not caring about the purple marks he left in his wake.

"Satoru," you gasped his name out, much to his delight.

You let out a soft moan of approval through your own lips as you lifted your hips up in absolute desperation, wanting more of him, and wanting it now.

"I only have eyes for you, Y/N, you and only you," he told you as he continued to cover your neck in wet kisses, and you couldn't help lean your head back to give him easier access. Realizing that you both were still out in the open, he carried you into the bathroom stall, pressing you up against the nearest and sturdiest wall.

He tugged his pants down from his hips and quickly pushed his boxers down to his knees, just far enough to allow his thick and fully hard member to spring up. He nearly ripped your panties down your thighs and threw them to the floor, holding you up with one hand and using the other to glide up your thigh, one finger slipping up your wet folds. He grinned knowingly before he leaned in to growl in your ear, "Look at how wet for me you already are," he hummed, "mm, how bad do you want me?"

Just the slightest touch drove you absolutely wild, and you seemed to forget everything that took place before he brought you in this stall. You keened in the back of your throat and rocked your hips down against his finger, moaning out, "Fuck me, Satoru. I need you so bad. Please!" you cried.

"Well when you say it like that, I don't see how I could say no," he cooed. He grasped his member firmly until he was lined up to your entrance, exhaling loudly as he crouched down to push in. He took his time entering your body at first, watching the pleasure overcome your features. Once you had adjusted to his girth, he set a rough pace, taking you quickly in broad deep strokes that jarred your body and caused your head to slam back into the wall as you surrendered yourself to his movements, hips grinding forward in an attempt to keep tempo. He doesn't waste time going slow, knowing you both needed relief fast.

Grasping his shoulders tightly, you moaned, the volume increasing with each thrust until you were sure you would both get caught.

"That's it, let the whole goddamn restaurant know who's fucking you," he managed to say between his own moans and grunts. "You're doing so good, baby, so good," he praised.

You answered with an even louder moan, shoving your hips forward in a demand for him to go faster, grinding your clit against his pelvis whenever you could.

"Your cunt feels so fucking perfect, squeezing me like this, fuck," he ground out.

He obliged your command, snapping his hips into yours relentlessly, the sounds spilling from your lips urging him on.

"You look so good baby, you always do," he uttered through a pant, "you fucking drive me crazy." He quickly added, "Do you know how beautiful you look when you're all stretched out on my cock?"

One hand gripped onto your hair and he tugged backwards just enough to show you dominance as he pounded into you with no mercy, the sounds of your high pitched moans bouncing off the walls, mixed with his deep grunts and the sound of hot skin slapping against skin.

"Look at you, you're always so fucking pretty, so fucking perfect like this," he told you. His hips moved in the most sinful way, filling you up just perfectly, and he seemed to find that special spot inside you so skillfully, making you cry out in ecstasy.

"You like that, baby? You like how good I make you feel? Good girl, moaning for me and showing the entire diner who's gonna make you come," he hissed into your ear as his thrusts became more erratic, slamming into you again and again as he kept his wild pace up.

"Mmmm!" you hummed. You threw your head back and arched your torso sharply, screaming out in pleasure when your body started to quake with the sensation of your orgasm barreling towards you. His fingers left little purple prints on your hips at how tight he was squeezing your hips, knowing you were both close to your climax.

"Show me how much you like it, come for me," he rasped.

He maintained the angle of his thrusts, continually hitting a sensitive spot within your body until you were convulsing in his arms, orgasm rocking you to the very core. He wasn't far behind, taken over the edge by the tight clenching or your walls around his member.

Exhaling loudly, he relaxed his body against yours as you both came down from your peaks. The wall was the only thing keeping you both up as you wilt, exhausted from your spontaneous lovemaking. Finding the energy to pull back, he kissed you gently, running his fingers through your hair to fix the disrupted locks. You smiled into the kiss, body buzzing from your orgasm and heart glowing at his gestures.

You both cleaned up as best as you could in the stall, he helped adjust the skirt of your dress before moving to fix his own disarrayed hair.

"You had no reason to be jealous, Y/N, like I said I only have eyes for your pretty little face," he nuzzled his nose against yours, and you did the same in return, laughing with each other.

"Thank you, Satoru," you said with a soft giggle when you stepped out of the bathroom stall with him.

"Anything for you, babe," he told you as he intertwined his fingers with yours, walking out with you, "now let's go eat," he started, "we can even put on a little show for her under the table so she knows not to mess with you," he suggested with a loud laugh.

"I like the sound of that," you replied with a broad smirk on your face. That wasn't a bad idea.

___________________________________

[lyrebright]

Everything about S1 of TMA from like, the last five episodes on is just really hype, but the final two episodes--which, alongside the closing statement of MAG038 really just feel like one long finale--kick it up to an wholly new level.

And it's very cool.

MAG039 is here,

and so is the worm wife

(and her worm kids)

(who are very hungry)

MAG039 is entirely and definitely my favourite episode of TMA thus far. It's got so much.

archives crew interactions. jon's facade finally cracking. joe spooky.

Okay so. I'm going to be all over the place with this episode because FUCK chronology apparently

So in my last post I mentioned I was going to leave my thoughts about the Table (You Know The One) for this one because. Well.

(Two for two for homophobic furniture :/)

Ironically the night before I listened to MAG039, I was discussing TMA with friend @jackassrabbit and we got to talking about the statements that had really gotten us, and I mentioned a very early statement that had still stuck with me--MAG003, "Across The Street."

I actually mentioned this in a post really early on in my liveblog tag, but the gaslighty unreality of someone being replaced but only you knowing is a deep seated irrational fear of mine. So I remembered this statement because of this conversation with my friend.

And then my friend said this:

Which, uh. Definitely put me in the mind to be paying attention and remembering MAG003, both because I was intrigued and it is, again, a personal fear I was now bracing for.

When I was joking in an earlier post about Sasha having the gumption of a horror movie final girl I should have know that was me cursing her to not have their survivability.

my friends who like to bully me so much

rest in peace queen

the MOMENT she went into artefact storage I was like Oh No She's Dead because I was now VISCERALLY REMEMBERING the MAG003 table and the fact that it was in there

Audio work was a lot for this episode actually btw

I had to yank my earphones out when Sasha screamed ):

HONESTLY I'm sad she's gone and I'm gonna be stressed about the FAKE SASHA NO ONE REALISES IS FAKE for forever but at least she went out as episode MVP

Saving Tim. Corkscrewing Jon's worms. Setting off the fire alarm. Going to bug Elias about Saving Her Boys. Sasha James I have feelings for you and now they are sad ones.

Speaking of feelings. Jon ♡

Glad to see him finally having that mental breakdown (they would soon regret this statement); when I said that I thought his skeptic act was breaking down around him j didn't think it was like. Actually an act?

Like Jon as a paranormal happenings denier has been super interesting because it wasn't a case of flat out denial, because there were things he clearly did believe in even if he was trying to rationalize it, so his confession that he's been feeling Watched this entire time and has been suffering Rampant Paranoia is...i have thoughts but theyre not solid yet. They're percolating.

Thinking back to how tired and strung out he seems post "real" statements now like I noticed with the knowledge that he Feels Watched during them is also like Oh That Makes Sense

BTW "you didn't...die here, did you?" would 100% win funniest line in any other episode but unfortunately here it has to compete with joe spooky, so

This conversation between Jon and Martin made my heart go aww though.

God. In any other episode Tim would have won MVP (unfortunately for him Sasha exists and never will again so SHE gets play of the game). Even though he didn't quite take the crown I love him.

WORM WKFE

hi jane

she says only one word but I love her so much

God this got long I will. Give MAG040 it's entirely own post and end this one here, I am so sorry.

[filypadreams]

Fleeting Touches

( Asmodeus x GN!MC)

Synopsis: Do you know what fleeting means? It means you should apreciate every moment while you can. Even if you get lost in illusions for it.

TW: Slight angst

_______________________________

The streets were full this time of the year, even with the cold weather. It was a race for most humans to get that last minute gift for that special someone.

Their children, parents, grandparents or significant others. For some reason it's tradition to get that one person a last minute present.

And that's always a disaster...

" Calvin Klein One... with bergamot, cardamom, pineapple and jasmin. Tropical? Or maybe Dolce & Gabanna Velvet Exotic Leather. Traditional and italian... also at good prices, I need to ask if they are antiallergenic! "

I spend 15 minutes on the line but get both perfumes and walk outside onto the sunny street. It's not as busy as the mall and I really should get home before it gets to close to one pm.

Today, faces are a blur to me.

" Thanks for the tip Asmo, I was sick of the strong scents of women perfumes and the always down to earth male ones~"

I cheerfully speak to myself while touching the 'tattoo' above my left breast.

It's a one-way communication system. I'm not even sure Asmodeus hears what I tell him but I sure do hear his thoughts.

" Ohhh, bootie alert at 12! No, wait! Delicious curves at 4- oohh...that's a mix at 9 o'clock~!"

I see a man, woman, I think the last one is in mid transitioning but I'm not sure.

" He'll be a beautiful man, I'm 95% sure!"

" Maybe it's a 'they'... not that you can hear me."

Though I agree, they look...handsome. With a nice physique, curly shoulder lenght hair, smooth skin as if rivalling Asmos' ... and who can resist a dark biker leather jacket?!

No, stop. Don't let the mark influence you from your mission MC!

Setting the christmas gifts.

I start running in the direction of the bus station when I collide with a tall lady, her black shades falling to the ground from her beautiful light pink sweater.

My head hurts. It felt like hitting a brick wall...or Beel.

Are my only thoughts as I scramble to pick her glasses and my shopping bag. Good thing it was well packed.

"Oh my~ I'm so sorry, I didn't notice such a beautiful face in this crowd. I was retoutching my eyeliner, huhu! Let me help~"

The lady crouches down next to me. I notice from the corner of my eyes that she is also wearing a black turtle neck... and has peach coloured hair...

" Asmo?!"

Darkness. A cold hand covers my eyes while the other takes the shades from mine and exchanges them with my bags...it seems. He whispers is my ear.

" Now, now. Don't ruin the surprise! I'm just a beautiful 'lady'. Hahaha."

And with that he dissapears. Everything seems to dissapear, as soon it gets dark and I'm sitted in my couch, replaying today's event.

It felt so real... I called him a lady.

Well... I don't think Asmodeus minds.

I walk around the tree, putting down colorfully wrapped gifts. That I went purposely to markets and malls to have wrapped!

Diavolo better play Santa and give me some grimm if I ever get an invite to Devildom, I blew most of my allowances with these!

On the blue corner I have vynil disks and office supplies. Getting stuff for Lucifer is hard.

The yellow corner... is a mess of acessories like shades and wristwatches and some jackets. Mammon needs a new one.

The orange corner was the cheapest but most difficult to prepare. I wrapped most of my otaku related rarities, in Devildom at least, and put them in a pile. Levi better apreciate my figurines!

The green pile was also simple. It's actually small with my old literature books. All from great authors and all trying to escape religious judgement so Satan might find that amusing.

I don't have a red corner, just baked goods on the table and two glasses of milk in case Santa visits.

I put purple pillows, warm robes, matresses and scarves around the tree. Belphie won't lose comfort soon.

And now finishing the pink corner.

There's the perfumes, some cosmetics I really don't get but my 'chest instinct' said to go ahead and...

" I hope he likes this fluffy bunny backpack!"

I kinda wanted the bunny for myself... but I can't.

The day went on so fast... why am I even doing this? Might as well call Solomon and offer him these so he can perform his rituals. I'll just wake up tomorrow to a full room of wasted money and a mountain of calories. An empty heart.

I caress the bunny when i hear rustling on my door. Something is playing with my wreath? I pick a knife from the dinning table.

" W-who's there?! Show yourself fiend!"

" Aww, that hurts to hear MC-chan..."

From the darkness into the light walks the same person I crashed into this morning.

" You better drop that knife before someone gets hurt..."

" How...Asmo, how are you here?! Why?!!"

Tears come to my eyes. It's been a while. A long while since I've seen any of them. Since I've had slumber parties with Asmodeus, self care sessions...

He shakes his head cleaning the few teardrops away with the back of his index finger and walks to the tree, messing with the gifts.

" Tears don't suit you well. Oh, you even got something for Barbatos... I'm slightly jealous, I thought you only thought about me~"

He starts opening his gifts.

" Wait! It's not even Christmas Eve. We need to wait until midnight at least..."

As I try to explain, his taller stature hovers over me, playing with my hair and putting a mistletoe, secure in it's knots. Wait... how is he so tall? The height difference is too abnormal.

" I'm afraid the concept of time doesn't apply in dreams, MC."

" H-huh?! Wha... the day... went on really fast. So you..."

I look down slightly dissapointed. The floor starts cracking and falling. Darkness and constelations starting to form under my feet.

" Afraid not. Christmas is not really part of our traditions, haha. Even if we had a great celebration that one time Diavolo proposed we did it with the exchange students.

I like the angel."

He points to the tree top.

" Oh, that... I was thinking of Beel and Belphie when I made the decision. It's my oldest decoration. I was thinking on putting a star this year but... I got a literal gut feeling to keep the angel."

I smirk at Asmodeus as he puts an arm around my shoulders, leaning me a little closer to him. We both apreciate the flashing lights from the tree. Even if it was fake. The rest of the room crumbles away and Asmo let's go of me to pick his gifts and stuffing them inside his new backpack.

" I know he was thinking of the only person that shines as bright as us two together.

Hmm, but you haven't been taking good care of yourself, MC-chan! Remember to follow the morning routine I gave you so your skin is almost as perfect as mine!"

" I haven't been feeling like...doing much I guess. I had a lot of work this year."

" Humans are always full of work. I mean me too.

Since RAD is closed for the 'holidays', we are back to our other jobs. Things get dirty real fast, so many pests! Maybe we can actually come visit during New Year's."

After apreciating the representation if Lilith, he turns to berate me, before picking a bottle of perfurm and examining it, followed by spraying some on while making a spin as he explains his bodyguard/demon threat exterminator job.

He must have loved it because he transforms, with a smile on his face and his horns move like pincers.

" I always found your demon form the funniest."

" ...Dear, I'm fabulous."

" Hahahahaha! Ok, but if this isn't a Diavolo, Barbatos or Lucifer' scheme... is it Belphegor's? You mentioned dreams, and it explains the constelations."

I look around, darkness being drilled by the light of many tiny stars.

" I think I see taurus... and of course he had ro include pisces. Mammon is supposed to be the greedy one, this is OUR moment!"

He huffes and crosses his arms. I chuckle and pat his back.

" So, I'm asleep at the same time as Belphie."

" It's night time in both worlds. You could say I'm an intruder. I was taking my immersive nightly bath as I prepared to get into your dreams~ I hope I didn't actually fall asleep, my poor skin!"

" How did you convince him?"

I wonder as he touches his arm and the parts of revealed skin as if to feel if something was wrong with his real body.

" Oh, well...he actually wanted to see you to! I also promised to take more cute pictures of Lucifer for him. But I don't think he admires his beauty the same way I do-"

The world trembles. Belphie must be waking up. And angry...

" Oh, dear! I must have upset him. This illusion will end soon and you'll wake up in your bed as if nothing happened. I hope you don't forget me."

Asmo walks closer and caresses my face. Kissing my forehead.

It's warm. Fleeting but I can feel his gestures. Even in a dream.

I slap his hand when I feel it sliding down my back a little too far.

" Ouch! My nail...ok, ok. I'm sorry! Won't happen again~"

He apologises when making contact with my burning stare and proceeds to act innocently after.

" It better not. I... think it will be difficult to forget you. Specially now. Make sure the others know-! Ahh!!!"

Another quake and I "conveniently" fall in his arms. I'm able to see his pixie sized wings batting in excitement.

" This is a cliché."

I mumble as Asmo wraps his arms around me.

" I need to go. I'm sure we'll see each other soon. You know I'll always be here. Literally. And I do hear you, you know?"

He pokes his mark, above my heart and pouts.

" ...I know... see you soon Asmo."

I pick his hand and kiss it.

Then I wake up. It's still the middle of the night. My room is cold.

There on my window sill are two roses. One peach and one dark pink.

The End

______________________________

Special dedicatory to: @shortnessangel

and @asmoluvsyou .

Bunny Backpack comes from: https://kawaiibabe.com/products/creepy-bun-backpack

(Curiosities: The perfumes are gender neutral, I can still link you the page where I found them.

The colour of the roses have a specific meaning. I can post the pic I got it from if you want.)

[katsu-vs-ocha]

It's hilarious that this person hates Adricat because, really, we're not actually taking Adricat seriously.

Like, I'm pretty sure it was born from this one fic idea where Paris and Marinette somehow got it into their heads that Adrien and Chat Noir were secretly dating after Adrien kept complimenting Chat Noir's heroics and good looks to Ladybug in an effort to get her to like Chat Noir, but it backfired on him in a hilarious way.

It is completely crack and meant to not be taken seriously. Now, this also derives from the idea that Adrien, apparently, would take it a little far in an effort to make his "infatuation" with Chat Noir believable, exaggerating it a bit because he now finds the hilarity in it. But it's a huge fact that Adrien isnt the best at practical jokes, consider Puppeteer 2.0 and his unfortunate timing making jokes and puns during battle, so he wouldnt really realize when hes taken this joke to the extreme, practically traumatizing Plagg with his excessive "self-love" and not taking the hint that everyone is sending him. Hes probably thinking, "right, they loved when I was loving Chat, so let's keep it going!" And everyone else is now like, "bro, come on. It was funny, but now it's just embarrassing for everyone. We get it, you love Chat Noir, tone it down."

But, as much as I love Adrien, he can be a bit slow on the uptake considering his complete lack of appropriate social cues due to years of forced isolation by his complete asshole of a dad.

Anyways, this AU is meant to only be taken as a joke. We as a fandom dont actually think Adrien would fall in love with his own superhero persona, but it's a pretty hilarious idea to think about as it is both impossible and completely crack-worthy. But also, we know there could be a chance of Adrien admiring Chat Noir as a civilian for the simple act of showing admiration to the heroes of Paris in order to keep up his secret identity. I mean, as Chat Noir, hes been openly jealous of his counterpart of Adrien Agreste after seeing Kagami and Lila practically fighting over Adrien, and yet this is also pretty ridiculous because, I mean, ITS THE SAME PERSON. Like, boy, THATS STILL YOU. But we also know it's a bit of an act because he cant openly be flattered as Chat Noir that Adrien Agreste has girls fighting over him.

So, with this AU, we can add hilarity to the separate identities and how Adrien can keep his identity safe by pretending to secretly date Chat Noir, or by pretending to be completely infatuated with the Cat hero. And it would work, because who could ever suspect Adrien Agreste of being Chat Noir with Adrien practically drooling after the hero anywhere and everywhere?

Personally, it is a bit weird to see Adrien so infatuated with Chat Noir, especially since I'm also thinking that it's a bit too much self-love. Now, if Chat Noir had been chosen to be someone other than Adrien and Adrien still really loved Chat Noir, now that I'm fine with, because then they're not the same person. But, I can see the hilarity in this idea, and fully support those who are making content about it because they are taking this idea and running with it in the funniest ways.

I could go on and on about this idea and how it also plays on Ladybug's emotions, forcing her to think about how shed feel of both Adrien and Chat Noir were to date either separate people, or each other. On one hand, Chat is taking her man. On the other hand, it seems like Adrien would be happy with Chat, so she cant be too mad. Also, she would have to face her internal feelings on the fact that she might be jealous of both of them for snagging the other, but also confused on the fact that the idea of them being together ISNT ACTUALLY A BAD IDEA IN HER HEAD. She hates that she cant have Adrien, would be confused that she hates the thought of Chat also finding someone else, but would also be very confused and flustered to realize that seeing them together is the most perfect picture, because Adrien is already perfect, but Chat Noir is also a complete gentleman and would definitely treat the object of his love right, just like he'd been doing to her. Which would also force her to acknowledge the fact that, now that hes with Adrien, Chat might not flirt with her like he used to and wow, she actually misses the attention he showered her with? What?!

It's a hilarious idea with many different things to explore, but please, if you dont like this stuff, just move past it. Block the tag, or if you really cant handle the continuous content, then block the blogger and move on. Dont spread hate just because you dont like a certain content that other people obviously like. Not only is it rude, but also a complete waste of your time and energy. Like, really? You're really going to take time out of your day and energy out of your brain just to make a hate post on something that was most definitely self-indulgent to the creator? Why not just block them and move on? You dont have to be mean, dont have to send them threats or insults just because you didnt like something of theirs, or dont like that they arent updating a fic that had started off completely self-indulgent, especially after they explain the reason why when they didnt even have to explain themselves in the first place.

Please, give a little bit of respect and decency to bloggers and content creators. Have a little bit of decency and just treat them with a little kindness, at least.

Um…

Since you’ve been gone??

I’m always here!

Why did Tumblr decide I need a reminder of this.

(Original post https://buggachat.tumblr.com/post/615606930526896128/thechatsmeow-bugaboo-n-bananoir-buggachat)