#i'll try to have a happy one later
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 5: Flip Slip.
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mdzs au#Yungmang Jiang Training Arc AU#lan wangji#wei wuxian#digital art#Trying out some digital techniques to see if I can get closer to feel/style of my traditional comics.#So far the biggest difference is *colouring* Digital colouring feels...not good. I have complained about this before and I'll complain agai#Before we get into the sad stuff with Yungmeng Jiang in the PD-MDZS comics lets have some lighthearted fun!#Remember that if anything bad happens to these Jiang disciples in the canon comic - they are happy in this AU B'*)#I think one of the funniest things about the teenxian dynamic is how WWX accidently finds things that get LWJ to feel flustered.#My guy wwx goes 'I'm going to lightly bully/tease this nerd 'cause his reactions are funny.' and LWJ goes “My god. He's everything to me.”#Part two of the fun part of this dynamic is that LWJ is ever so lightly self aware enough to LOATHE THIS CRUSH.#Hence why I have been marinating on this 'Accidental Lan headband miscommunication' concept.#This is how LWJ assumes that WWX knows what the band means in this AU. This will be relevant later.#And YES! I am still going to be making comics for this AU. I have so many ideas I simply can't hold onto forever.
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☀️ IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!! 🌙
This is my gift to myself :) I drew my favorite guys ever.
For a while I've been itching to draw the wedding outfits from this post again. I made them up on the fly as I was drawing, but I actually really like how they ended up turning out. They're super cute!! (though, yet again, you can't see almost any part of Dedede's outfit... 💔)
But then I couldn't get it out of my head to make a companion piece for it, with their mirror versions. And so. I did. What they have going on is a little bit messy, though...
Marriage or divorce!! Take your pick.
#kirby#kirby series#meta knight#king dedede#metadede#dark meta knight#shadow dedede#mirror metadede#i do like mirror mtdd. like a lot. but poor planning ahead with hcs and ocs caused them to end up. kind of doomed in my thing lol#maybe i'll go in depth about it one day. as much as i can anyway. i haven't fully figured it out myself#my art#couple details:#mk's tooth gaps are probably one of my favorite parts of his drawing. they're just so cute i'm so glad i knocked his teeth out#while mtdd is on Non Descript Happy Place mirror mtdd is specifically in the dimension mirror level from katam and ktd#just slightly. sparklier and shinier. because that's just how i do things. and without the buildings#i did try to add them but it made everything busier than it already was#mirror mtdd's faces are obscured on purpose but if you look closely you can catch a peek of dmk's expression through his veil#which! it's meant to be kind of like a widow's veil.. symbolism and what not#i couldn't think of what the opposite of a star was so i did hearts (for the plating. cheeks. and pauldrons)#i fucked up the rings.. because i got my lefts and rights confused..#but i kept it Anyway because it looked cool. i'm sorry though it's so annoying once you notice#i still have the flats and a better look at ddd's outfit (and a Little of sddd's face)#so maybe i'll post that later#i think that's about it#i'm 20 today :) sigh. the passage of time#god the way this has been crunched sickens me. don't look closer actually
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RF Pride Week // June 28: Coming out / Firsts
This comic is set around a month after the siblings first arrive in Rigbarth
*Ludmila and Meg are not here yet so there's only 1 girl in town who matches that description atm
** The noble duo have been here less than a week, so Ares doesn't have much opinion of them yet
#rune factory 5#rune factory#rf5#rfpride2024#aashi doodles#ok some lore dumping in the tags again cuz i never know when I'll get around to making the skit#ares had a pretty bad date with MK early in the story and it led him to generalize that he must not like men in general#(Misa pushed him to ask kumo out cuz she's trying really hard to find a partner for her brother)#and she thought ares might make a good fit since she likes him#that date went bad enough that it soured the way those two interact with each other in general#I'll get into more detail on a later date hopefully#but anyways whew! managed to finish this piece!#i don't have any more free time this weekend so won't be able to do another one tho#but#happy pride 🌈#fancomic
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from this thing on twt
#vargas#edgar vargas#vargas zarla#zarla s#sunny's art#jthm#shitpost#johnny c#didn't like this one that much so i didn't even post it on twt lolz#i was like " hmmm who should be the big-eyed one#at first i thought nny would be the one asking but i recently read this sidefic where edgar is trying to make things#less awkward by filling the silence with questions#so i was like lol imagine edgar just asking nervously#brusk also told me the same thing and mmmyes#i wanted to wait to do another sketchdump so i could post this one but i didn't want to wait till the trend was ove#also it's not like have anything else to post . i just have some stupid crossover i did of vargas and code lyoko#really poorly made sketches too so i don't think i'll post them they're also in spanish#the only one in english is this one of jeremie taking edgar to the factory#and edgar's like “ a supercomputer ? while jeremie's thinking something like ” i need to launch a return to the past#why would edgar even know about the supercomputer in the first place though#idk all of those doodles were so pointless but fun to do#i have those and some drawings of edgar bleeding to death but i'm NOT posting those#lol i drew nny's boots he looks so silly#i'm currently working on the askblog ( just setting answers together so i can work on them later#idk if i'm happy or if this is just a manic episode but I FEEL GREAT bye#won't schedule this one like the others bc this is just a silly thing
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What if I told you I wanted to make a rant on the "victimization" of a DT character?
Would it be okay?
WAIT! -
What if I also told you it's not one of the common people who did horrible things yet get "victimized" for it??
W A I T ! -
What if I told you that character has yet to do anything ACTUALLY bad?? (or rather with their inablities they kinda.. can't do anything bad) yet I still have a feeling that they're being "victimized" too much, maybe not much as the 3 people, but still victimized in my opinionn.
W A I T ! -
What if due to that fact that they didn't to anything THAT bad, It'll be easier to call me "disrespect", "heartless", "biased" or whatever it is.. (+what if I told you that's kinda why I hope they do something horrible so my rant can be seen by Atleast a few people. I don't want their defenders or fans to disappear, I just want Atleast ONE person to understand where I'm coming from and not dismiss it.)
W A I T ! -
What if I said I didn't know how to word my rant properly? Thus being scared to even rant of it without being vague?
WAIT!-
What if I told you that I unfortunately don't have proof people actually do that, or if it's just me being a hater or just.. mixing my fandom experiences with another, thus overthinking?
Will I be valid to make a rant?? Can I make the rant??
#drdt#danganronpa despair time#this is dramatic and very vague.#vague on purpose#I just wanna make a rant on their “victimization” by the fandom#but I don't have proof people actually do that#no shade to anyone#btw#y'all are cool keep going#I just wanna speak up my thoughts#but I feel like it makes no sense#i don't even know#maybe I'll keep quiet about it for now#and see Incase the character in question actually does something horrible#to make the rant later#but even if I make the rant beforehand..#I'd be happy to have Atleast ONE person try to understand my POV#and not dismiss it and call me “biased”/“heartless” whatever..#oh well#sorry to ask but#can there be a reply to this#so I can know thoughts#thanks for reading regardless
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really wish people would realize that every single character endings in t8 isnt canon
#yes even the ones thats seems “likely”. yes even the ones you like. yes even if some seems to be connected.#THEYRE *ALL* WHAT-IFS. THE “CANON” STORY IS STORY MODE. EVERYTHING ELSE IS FLUFF#AND ITS A GOOD THING‼️‼️‼️#anyway jun's ending was bittersweet and might be my second favorite. no its still not canon.#her *special* episode where she explains what happened to her pre-t3 IS CANON. her *character* episode aka the arcade mode IS NOT.#its a self-contained little story with an intro. a couple fights. and a cool cutscene ending. just like every other character episodes#this is so obvious to me but i keep seeing people not making the distinction#*yes* as cute as it would be to imagine freshly-beaten kaz sleeping in that tent. no jun just woke up she doesnt have a full camping set up#and the g corp blanket at the end of her ending is meant to signify that maybe her happy dream had some truth to it since kaz left it to her#and i have a whole essay about jun's role in the (canon) story mode but i'll try to be brief. its like 1am#tagging later
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i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.
you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.
and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts
#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not?#how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with#is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe.#why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain#i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself#that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it?#just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once#but never never never liked enough#i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting#i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out#i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again#but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough#for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay.#maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find#maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months#anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning.#on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you#god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie#but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down#blah#personal#not st
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#don't you love it when you come home during festivals hoping to feel happy and get stress relief from college#but it ends up being more horrible and triggering than even college#cause your family just openly bitches about you and judges you while you're within earshot#repeating all the bad shit that you tell yourself when you're alone#confirming your fears of being the most horrible and inconsiderate person on earth#i feel exactly like I felt some 4-5yrs ago#sobbing on my bathroom floor trying to not harm myself further#it's a lost cause#i will never have a family who will understand#and now guess what I'm so exhausting that telling all this to my friends seems horrible too#there is only one way I'll ever be happy and god I hope its soon#I'm done with healing and trying to make people understand how much I suffer everyday#vent#I'm sorry I have no where else to go#delete later
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the thing is i want to take silver for his word and believe that flint got to spend his life even in imprisonment with one of his loves but also believing that is somehow as offputting to me as believing that silver killed him. or a secret third thing, that he managed to send him to that camp thing but thomas wasn't there, and flint lost all the fight that was left in him after being removed from the one thing he knew by the last person he called a friend. but the thing is, no single option is so convincing as to let me make peace with it and i'm thinking i'll have to accept both him being dead and alive at once.
#i mean i should probably give myself time and i'll accept that#if people are still talking about this six years later i can't expect myself to understand it in six hours lol#but yeah either way.. that one post that was like. in a way flint is dead. because he got kicked out of the narrative.#and it doesn't matter whether he's a dead james flint or an alive james mcgraw most likely he's neither.#but he got kicked out of the narrative and in that sense‚ flint the character is dead#sigh.#let me try to sleep thinking of max anne and jack's happy ending. at least i'll always have that.#also the fact that featherstone became the placeholder governor lmaooo love that for him and idelle and max also#sighhhh.#black sails
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WARNING: Sukugo Dark Related Fic Ideas. If this isn't your cup of tea, scroll away. I just read 2HA and JJK 259 happened.
Maybe... I'll write this into a full story eventually. However, I have this vision:
+
Sukuna smirking as the world watch his trial. His crime? The murder and cannibalization of Satoru Gojo.
As Prosecutor Higurama finished his case, the judge asked how he pleads.
Sukuna, in a heartbeat, proudly answers. "Guilty as charged."
Pandemonium descends but his smiles never falls. How can it? He could still taste Satoru in his tongue. Willingly soft. Rotting sweet. Rich and warm. Bright with a citrus he could never hope to name.
That greedy man who embraced violence and death lingered in his tongue - a cherished ghost that would haunt his memory for eternity.
An irritating voice breaks Sukuna from his revelry. He grinds in teeth as his bratty nephew screams.
"He loved you! How could you?!"
Ah. Love. He knows that. He even understands it too. Sukuna just has no need nor care for it.
Still, Satoru offered it to him and more. Too happy and drunk in indulgence. Forgetting everything to be selfish with him and him alone.
But that is a secret only the two of them share.
So, Sukuna smiles.
"He wanted me to. Did you know he scooped out his own eyes for me? Satoru simply spoiled me with my favorites."
Everything.
+
Another I have in mind was Sukuna's last request before execution. It is not yet as vivid as the one above but there is a sequence:
His request was to be given Satoru's last remains. He was not able to eat all of him before getting arrested. He was reserving the last eye for dessert. There was also one ring finger.
Sukuna's request was understandably rejected which eventually led to him doing a prison break.
He then hunts down Satoru's remains: the eye, the finger, and the ashes. Sukuna isn't greedy. But he is a glutton. He wants everything of Satoru. Besides, the man willingly offered himself. It would be rude to not consume all of it, no?
Anyway, during the Hunt, Sukuna would refuse to eat anything else. He doesn't want Satoru's lingering taste to "be spoiled".
In the end, Sukuna would be successful in eating all of Satoru's remains. After that, he burns himself to death because there is nothing else for him to enjoy at that point.
Anyway, that's just what I have so far. Well, except a few ton of key details.
The whole thing was an assisted suicide. Satoru thought it was interesting to die via cannibalism (inspired by a real life case btw). He was not doing well mentally because of, you guess it, Suguru.
Satoru and Sukuna went on dates. It was the "prepping" stage. But, like idiots, they fell in love.
The love they shared tho is fucked up. It culminates into Satoru happily offering "everything of him" for Sukuna to eat. Sukuna, meanwhile, wanted to draw this particular "request" longer than usual.
Satoru really did scoop his eye out with a dessert spoon to give away like some ice cream to feed to his boyfriend.. which is practically a wedding vow for Sukuna. They "consummated their marriage" that night. Three guesses which was fucked raw by the happy couple (inspired by the horror/slash movie "The Sadness").
Their honey moon is essentially Satoru's drawned out death. He picks a body part for Sukuna to cook. Satoru always asks for Sukuna to surprise him (Movie Reference: Ratatouille) .
Oh. They have everything recorded by the way. From the "ordering" (aka Satoru telling which part Sukuna can eat) to cooking to "dining" (which is just Sukuna feeding Satoru drugged sweets as he eats what he cooked). Yes. Even the fucking was recorded. Imagine the horror of the investigators and the lawyers when those were submitted as evidence.
Sukuna has enough medical knowledge to keep Satoru alive throughout their "honey moon". Credits to Kenjaku.
Satoru died happily ever after when he finally gave his heart via Blood Eagle. That heart dish was Sukuna's "magnum opus" dish.
The guy who caught Sukuna and prevented him from eating the last finger + eye was Kashimo. After breaking out of prison, he sought him out. Kashimo was diced and ground into a meat loaf which Sukuna didn't even eat (Which was his MO actually. He had assisted in plenty of suicides before. He never ate the dishes made from those - just taste. He either leaves them for someone else to find/eat. Satoru was an exception.)
Sukuna kills himself because he truly believes he reached the highest point in life. Nothing else can be enjoyed in his perspective anymore - he tasted the best and cooked the best meal of his life already. He refuses to ruin that with disappointments. Just the vibes here would be like the ending of the movie "Perfume: Story of a Murderer" and "The Menu"
I don't know how I could really put it in all of this but Satoru's love language is through service (he's really happy when people enjoy what he offers). Sukuna's is through food (so he's really flattered with Satoru's enthusiasm). So... you could say Satoru died NOT out of loneliness (which was his initial reason). He died out of love to connect with Sukuna and make him happy. Meanwhile, Sukuna cooked and ate all of Satoru out of "love". Reference: CSM (iykyk)
Sukuna's obsession with eating Satoru's eyes is not only reference to the canon Six Eyes. It's also because fish eyes are the tastiest delicacy and Sukuna had compared Satoru to fish before. Also, eyes = soul. The implication here is that Sukuna wants to eat Satoru's soul so they'd be together as one forever. Not that he'd ever acknowledge it as such.
There's also a theme of Satoru being greedy while Sukuna is a glutton. They're a match made in hell.
Oh. Lastly! Suguru is totally alive. Tried to reconnect with Satoru but got turned down because of Sukuna. Then the whole crime and trial blew up in the media. The poor guy has regrets... and he was doing so well too! Courtesy of his therapist Itadori Kaori (aka Kenjaku)
#suicide#depression#cannibalism#sukugo#suicide ideation#did i get all of the warning tags right?#anyway i lost choso#i'm in a dark mood#so... sukugo stuff#i need to indulge in some horror to feel better and this pairing is just perfect for it#i have some fluff for the death painting sibs and yuji tho#i'll try to continue building up the addams family-esque au#the one where grampa itadori basically adopted choso and his little bros and they lived as one happy family#but that's for later... when i'm out of my sad mood
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sits here. my mood has been swinging back and forth like a pendulum lately
#i still can't bring myself to make anything art-wise. and it is ripping me to shreds internally#i have no motovation whatsoever and i'm feeling disgusted by my creations. like that's the best you could do huh mixer?#i dunno. trying to keep calm. i'm going to my uncle's tomorrow to puppysit for 3 days#i'm happy that i'll see puppy but being out of my house will be stressful.#plus i've still got work to go to...#and i need to do the laundry and take out the trash and stop buying uber eats and forward my snap benefits email and.#and later today after high school lets out i'm going to talk with an old teacher i had#i need to change my bedding too..#i at least took a shower yesterday#i think my ptsd has been acting up in the background or something#my other uncle tries to tell me to let go of the past. but i don't want to. my past has forever impacted the way i'll be for the rest of-#-my life yk? and my 'past' wasn't even that long ago. it was 2/3 years ago. and my brother's still with that awful man#i can't pull him away from him.#i just wanna sleep. might take a sleep med early just to take a nap#i've been hating everything i make so like. why even try yk.#i drew one thing while i was hospitalized- a tiny sane jack head#i dunno. i dunno. i feel so empty. my depression's been super bad. i don't enjoy things that once made me happy#i feel so aimless. i'm thinking about going to college but i have to see what scholarships would be available because i can't work this job#WHILE in school. it'd wear me to the bone#i don't want to quit my job though. i like my job. i like my boss and my coworkers..#i dunno. idfk what's wrong with me anymore. i just want the pain to stop man.#i dunno what i want to do with myself but i feel like a. fuck it ik it's from firework but i feel like a plastic bag in the wind#i'm so tired. i miss my mom. i miss my sister. i miss my brother.#vent#delete later
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a family of trees wanting to be haunted
#lark oak#sparrow oak#dndads#dndaddies#my art#i was trying to nail down my designs and the lark one just kinda happened and i was like sick now sparrow#really happy with how they turned out!! :D#undescribed#for now i'll edit some image descriptions in later i dont have the energy to write them rn#original content
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I would like for life to stop hurting for a little while. Maybe. Pretty please.
#speculation nation#this sounds emo but im just in literal pain right now#geeze what a week this week has been. but i got through it.#thinking ahead... hm. i need to go back over my school stuff. i dont remember any huge deadlines due next week#and that cant be right. theres always Something.#oh right i do have an assignment due. tho it's not a huge one.#i have a project due the week after next week that i'll need to work on. but itll be mostly class time for that.#got another assignment for my persuasion project due... i think the week after next? wont be too hard tho.#and i need to really get to work on reading my books for gender communication. it's almost the end of october.#soooooo somehow i DONT have any huge deadlines this coming week. thats so strange and abnormal.#if i was responsible id work on my reading over the weekend. or do more cleaning.#but i'll be fucking honest kitten im at the end of my fucking rope#probably the sleep deprivation and hellish 9.5 day of bodily torture. i hurt.#i will feel more hopeful and happy go lucky later.#i keep trying to point at all the nice clean apartment to cheer myself up but i am just like. this is my torture chamber. no happy.#i will grab some food and then play the sims 2. and then i will feel better.
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🌻
#it never fails to bemuse me how some people in my life (mainly coworkers i'm not at all close with) will try to tell me that i--#--NEED to have kids and that i'll regret it one day if i DON'T have kids cos doing so is such an enrichment to one's life#and then five seconds later they'll complain about all the ways in which their kids have affected or are affecting their lives negatively#''my house is always messy and my marriage is more of a roommate arrangement than anything else and all my extra income--#--goes towards my kids aka i never have anything to spend on myself and my kid's behavioral issues are crippling the entire household--#--and i can't laugh without peeing and dinner is a daily battle cos my kid will only eat hot dogs and i haven't gone on a vacation that--#--didn't involve a waterslide and/or a petting zoo for nine years and i can't rmbr the last time i had more than five minutes to myself--#--and my entire identity and all my hobbies went out the window when i had children but....it's so rewarding and i highly rec:)))''#like.....it's not that i doubt that if i had a kid i'd love it and be prepared to die to protect it but why the actual fuck would i want to#--enrich my life by having one when the way you're talking is making it sound like doing so would come at the expense of pretty--#much everything that currently brings happiness and fulfillment to my life?!#s/o to the coworker who (drunkenly) went ''i love my kids more than anything else in the whole fucking world but idk if i'd have them if--#--i could go back and choose again'' at a party this summer tho. that one felt more tied to a reality i can comprehend lmao
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colored a WIP from 2021, about ocs from 2011!
#artists on tumblr#my art#my ocs#undescribed#last post reminded me i did that last night(today 1am). i love them theyre from the one story i ended up drawing 20pages before giving up!#the longest run so far! 11yo me was so strong. also fun fact but the woman on the left and purple hair dude are the first ever incarnations#of who would later become eimy and amaya! the story about PurpleHair's mom losing all feelings/memories/ect and going on adventures trying#to find back of all that was lost with the mom's apprentice +a fancatgirl +a goth teen with a fucked up backstory. makes me so nostalgic#if i were to redraw them again i'll have to redesign them again too. but im really happy the colors :D
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I've been working more events lately and I keep getting paired with one specific medic and some of my other coworkers told me that it's bc he's an asshole and everyone else hates working with him and apparently all his attempts at being a jerk to me have flown right over my head and I've therefore had no complaints so that's why my supervisor keeps partnering us up 😂😭
#not snz#the way i was devastated too i was like 'wym he hates me i thought we were vibing'#one of the other medics says that he 'begrudgingly tolerates' me and honestly I'll take that#i don't work much tho like my sup calls me in maybe once or twice a month#which is great for me and i can say no#but when i do show up apparently the other emts are super happy#i just think it's funny that I've really just been like :3 whilst this man is trying his damnedest to bully me apparently#straight up vibing in the golf cart and this guy is seething lmao#i think I'm just used to how we talk to each other at the fire station so I'm just unfazed#but imagine how bewildered this dude must be#spends the better part of the shift trying to be an asshole for no reason to his coworker#just for said coworker to not even remotely understand that he's trying to be mean#also i bring food every shift bc if nothing else i was taught to feed the medics I'm work with#also i like feeding my coworkers#maybe that's why he tolerates me lmao#anyway I'm having a good time at all my various works lmao#especially my fire station bc most of our crews are out on fires#so I've been going in more to staff the place bc basically nobody is there rn#and I'm one of the most senior people who's not out on a fire#so if they send me out that means I'm in charge of a crew and idk how i feel about that#so hopefully it doesn't come to that but it's fun vibing at the station with the guys#anyway I'll delete this later this is just my work adventures lmao
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