#i'd like to thank the person who pointed out in the minami skin comment section that they need to stop sexualizing teens

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Black Survival characters as callmekevin quotes

the man the pickens the but titles

Adela: Wow, he’s good. Doesn’t even need to move his fingers, really.

Adriana: “The baby’s going to cry!” I wonder why!

Alex: You and your baby can play along with mama in over fifty babysitting activities! Six unique babies in game, each with their own unique personalities and needs! (reads the german version) I hope my baby’s in german. I have a feeling with my personality and that accent, it’ll sound really anrgy.

Arda: “Congratulations, you’ve just unlocked a bonus costume.” Is it another one that a middle aged man would wear? Cuz that’s the only type of fashion I’m into.

Aya: I guess we’ll end the episode to miicasso, just looking out in the ocean, wondering why they’re not as loved as some of the other characters.

Barbara: Stop trying to push your government agenda on me! I just wanna play good game!

Bernice: I could destroy any of you kids in unarmed combat.

Camilo: I’m still confused on how Barbie’s gonna get inside those twelve dancing princesses.

Cathy: Operate now:brain surgery. Good, I’ve played surgeon simulator, I can do this.

Chiara: “We found the first part of the flute!” I found this dirty flute in the tree! I should blow on it!

Daniel: “We must start by cutting the patient’s hair.” (white person voice) I was thinking the same thing, it’s disgusting! Let’s get rid of that fringe!

Echion:Why do we all have to be trendy boys from the 90s? Why can’t I be, like, an older gentleman?

Eleven: Nothing could distract me, honestly. (cut to an upgrade game playing itself as she watches)

Eva:This is normal for me. Every year, I sleep through july, august and september. As the great philosopher Green Day once said, wake me up when september ends.

Emma: “-as you would a pencil during a pop quiz” Ah- I didn’t take quizzes, I left school

Fiora: Ah, I’m such a good samurai, I studied the blade

Hart: (playing the guitar) What’s new scooby doo, we’re coming after you, we’re gonna solve that mystery, what’s new scooby doo, the trail leads back to you, whats new scooby dooooooo~ (walks off and breaks the guitar) NA NA NA NA NA-

Hyejin: You know what, I’m just gonna have a nice time this time- FUCK!

Hyunwoo: She doesn’t stop when you tell her to stop! Oh my god, she just loves killing herself! Barbie’s so relatable.

Isol: “We should encourage sharing, what are you feeling?” “.....” “Oh, he got all shy now.” 

Jackie: Oh, if I had a baby I’d do stuff like teaching it the alphabet backwards, like, count using colors, like (points to a blue surface) look, it’s the color three!

Jan: That cat is even higher than I am. Like Barbie, not me, I’m not actually high.

Jenny: Was this show a whole cover for human trafficking?

JP: If I can’t get past the menu, is there much point even playing? (..) Hold on guys, this is going to take some serious gamer thoughts to actually get working.

Lenox: Oh, sssssssugar. I can’t swear in front of the kids.

Leon: Okay barbie, let’s get started- (falls into the pond) Ow, shit.

Li Dailin: Come on, it’s my only skill! Drinking!

Luke: “You jumped too early!” She’s like, ‘Oops! You killed me!’

Magnus: (rrrr rrrr sound) God, Luigi is such a chad, revving his engine like that. ‘I’m gonna park the car, okay? I don’t wanna tip the valet.’ Oh my god, luigi- is a bit of a douchebag-

Mai: Well, Tessa, George wasn’t paying his mortgage and his farm got foreclosed on. That’s not my fault, he didn’t hold up his responsibilities.

Nadine: They’re all grabbing onto him and he’s like “Let go of me! I’m not used to human contact!”

Nathapon: I’m gonna try and translate this so you can understand. (laggy parrot speaking ensues) I think she said ‘you’re high as shit, wake up!’

Nicky: Some... unresolved anger there. Zoinks.

Rio: I don’t know, I’m lost. All I know is this child’s creeping me out.

Rosalio: “You know what, Kevin, our job now is to be funny ‘cause we’re never gonna win.” “I can’t do that either”

Rozzi:”Why not take a break?” Because I do this for a living, shut up!

Shoichi: “Eww!” What, a fly? Mama has a murderous look in her eye.

Silvia: Can you stop spinning so fast?! I need to make a fecking character here

Sissela: “By 202, one in two of us will have cancer in our lifetime.” Jesus christ, I’m already depressed.

Sua: Did you win, or did you just accidentally fall into first place?

William: “Kevin, did I do something to you?” “You did.” “Did I hurt you in some way?” “I had a dream that you played a +4 on me, now I’m upset.”

Xiukai: Ground beef? Why would we use beef that we found on the ground?

Yuki: I think I just subconsciously hate myself or something.

Zahir: Ah of course. A game about singing, where I can’t sing.