#i’ve probably said this before but you just absolutely bring these characters to life you have such a good sense of all these tiny details

[bigfrogs]

TWO KNIVES AND TWO FORKS AHHHHHHHHHH 🥹🥹🥹🥹🩷🌟🩷🌟🩷⚡️ i love you i love this series thank you so so much for taking the time to share it with us

approach shift - epilogue

pairing: Peter Parker x f!reader (TASM/Andrew Garfield version) length: 2.3k rating: explicit 18+ warnings: PIV (protected), sneaky little non-descriptive pegging reference, disGUSting fluff

Peter Parker is a weirdo. A hot, distracting, irritating weirdo. And you can’t afford distractions right now. So there’s only one thing to do.

a/n: I'll keep it quick: I'm so sorry this took so long, but I just wasn't quite ready to finish it off haha. It's been two years almost to the day since I started writing this (and they've been fucking crazy years) so it feels very strange saying goodbye to these adorable losers. I once again can't even start to express how happy it's made me seeing your reactions to this fic, and I'm endlessly grateful to everyone who took the time to leave a comment or reach out to say hi. I hope you like this last sweet little snippet! x

series masterlist

SIX MONTHS LATER

“We need to get up,” you say, making no move to do so.

He turns his face from where it’s smushed into the pillow to speak, his eyes still closed. “You first.”

You groan. 

You have no idea what time it is, and your phone is out of reach, but the light through the curtains is blinding like near-noon and Bear’s supposed to be here at 10 to pick you up, so you’re almost definitely cutting it fine.

“Peter.” Your legs are tangled with his, his thigh between yours. He huffs morning breath sleepily into your face in response, reaching a hand out to pat your cheek. 

“Shh.” He shifts, pressing his thigh harder between your legs, skin sticky on skin. You know he’s doing it on purpose; he knows exactly where he’s pressing you. You make a quiet, satisfied noise, then pull away regretfully. 

“Bear’s gonna be here soon and you need to be dressed. She’ll freak if she has to see your ass again.” 

“Mmm. Yeah. I’m up.”

You sit up, and the slow weight of his arm slides off your waist. The bedroom door is open to the living room where you can see the debris left over from your at-home date the night before: the bowl still on the couch with a handful of unpopped kernels still rattling in the bottom, the fairy lights web-stuck across the ceiling still glowing gently and the blown-out candles stuck in pastel wax puddles to the coffee table you’d rescued from the curb a few weeks after moving in together. It’d been unbearably funny watching Peter’s elaborate performance of pretending to struggle under the weight of it on the way back home.

He drags himself out of bed, and you hear the coffee machine gurgling while you start pulling out clothes.

It’s hot and stuffy; the air’s stopped working again sometime in the night, so you screech the window open and prop the broom handle under the frame to keep it there. It’s a precarious solution—more than once, the window’s fallen shut while you’ve been at work, forcing Peter to awkwardly perform a frantic outfit change behind the dumpster in the alley so he doesn’t run the risk of running into one of your neighbours in the elevator. But the rent’s affordable for a pair of research scientists with a dash of supplementary freelance photography cash on the side, and the occasional bags of free food from a grateful shop owner after a thwarted hold-up.

“Should we call about the air?” you wonder out loud through the open door.

 “Don’t worry about it, it’ll be quicker if I just get up on the roof and fix it again myself,” Peter says, his voice stretching out into a yawn halfway through. He appears in the bathroom doorway, still naked, two mugs in his hands. 

You gasp in appreciation as he passes one to you. “God, I love you,” you murmur, taking a sip.

He grins dazedly at you in the mirror, his cheeks flushed. “Is that all it takes, huh? A crappy cup of coffee?”

You turn and slide the mug onto the counter so you can wrap your arms around his waist. “No. You’re cute, too. That helps.”

He kisses you, his thumb and index finger framing your chin. “M’not cute,” he says against your lips, leaning his too-warm body along yours. “M’intimidating as hell. Ask anybody.”

You’d only gotten as far as underwear before he’d interrupted you dressing, and it already feels like there’s far too much in the way between you. “You’re gonna make me late,” you say, reaching down to dig your fingers into the taut swell of his ass. “Gotta get ready.”

“Okay, so keep getting ready,” he says, mouthing at your neck. “You’re the one groping me.”

He’s right; now you’ve started, you can’t seem to stop. You press your hands to the small of his back, drawing him closer. You can feel his cock beginning to harden where his body is pressed against yours, and his tongue comes out to touch at your pulse. He makes a tiny noise in his throat as you slip one hand down between your bodies to wrap loosely around his rapidly-growing erection.

You stroke him once, gently, and he huffs. “I don’t see how this is helping,” he says. 

You hum your response, your resolve melting away as he strokes the back of his knuckles down your spine, making you shiver. “Maybe…” you say.

He ducks his head to kiss first one breast, then the other, your nipples standing hard and sensitive. “Maybe?” he prompts. His fingers brush your hip, coming around to rest just below your navel.

“Maybe, if we’re quick…” you say, biting your lip, pushing your hips upward to try to encourage his hand lower.


“Babe, I can be so quick,” he says, half-groan, half-laughter. He thumbs your labia, spreading you open just a little, so he can touch your clit. “Too quick, even, if you want. Some would say it’s a talent.”

You grin at him, letting go of his cock. “Bed. Now.”

He swings you up into his arms so fast your head spins, practically flinging you onto the bed. 

You sprawl out in front of him, your arms thrown back as he peels your underwear off. “Holy shit,” he says, running his hands down your sides, staring at the expanse of your body. His jaw is slack with longing, and the sight of his adoration never fails to make fresh heat flood your face, even after seeing him staring at you like this so many times.

He kneels down over you, sucking two fingers into his mouth as he does. You hitch your knees up to give him a better angle, and he gently presses a firm thigh between your legs. “How do you wanna…?”

“Condom,” you tell him, running your fingers through his hair, making his eyes roll closed with pleasure. “No mess.”

He holds your lower lip gently between his teeth, and slowly pushes his two slick fingers inside you. You shift your hips up, and he withdraws them both again, using the slip of your arousal to work against your clit. He kneels up a little, so he can palm your breast with his other hand as he bends down to lick the inside of your thighs.

“Oh,” you breathe. His fingers stop circling to push back inside you, just as his tongue works a hot, messy kiss over your clit. You grab handfuls of his hair to try to keep up with the pace he’s setting, but the feeling of your fingers against his scalp only makes him work faster, a weak groan vibrating down through his tongue.

He bends his head lower, so he can lick around where your wetness has started to gather on his knuckles as he keeps pumping leisurely, in and out. It’s so wet you can both hear it, and he works faster, angling his fingers higher, until you’re writhing.

“Peter…come on, please,” you beg, yanking hard at his hair. 

It works to break his concentration, and he scrambles up, leaning down sideways so he can dig around in the bottom drawer of the nightstand. It’s filled with an assorted mix of toys and, stashed further back, Peter’s wrist canisters. The logic had been that anybody who broke into your apartment would be too freaked out by the toys to keep looking in the drawer, but it also meant Peter had to dig through a dizzying array of plugs and lube every time he went out.

You turn your head to the side and see the wistful way he glances at your strap-on, and you click your tongue. “We’re in a hurry, remember? Later.”

“Mmm. I’ll hold you to that,” he says, kissing you again as he rolls the condom smoothly over his cock.

He leans back, propping a pillow under your hips to give himself more leverage. As he sinks inside you, you hold your breath, letting it out slowly.

He groans above you, easing just a millimeter out and then back in, like he can’t help himself. It feels devastatingly good; he’s thick and beautifully hard right against where you need him, and thanks to his mouth, you’re wet enough that you’re ready for him to start moving immediately.  

You hook your ankles together behind his back to pull him in deeper, and he sinks home, fully seated balls-deep inside. You clench your muscles, just to feel as much of him as you can, and he grinds his hips against yours. 

You can feel the tension in his limbs as he draws back and starts to move. You’ll never, ever get sick of how he feels inside you, you think, your mouth open. He’s fucking you so good; his strokes long and firm and perfect.

He cups your ass with his hand to lift your hips even further, shifting the angle once again, and your breath stutters sharply in your throat as the head of his cock catches your g-spot.

“That’s it, right?” he murmurs, his voice wrecked. “Right there? That’s it, babe, c’mon, show me, I wanna see…”

You can’t even respond, your fingers gripping his biceps like his body is your only lifeline. It’s so good, and you’re getting so close, you just need…

“Fuck,” you gasp, high-pitched and panicked as you come, hard and blinding. 

He doesn’t slow down. If anything, he fucks you harder, chasing down his own release as you clench and melt around him. It only takes a few more moments before his cock jerks inside you and he curses, collapsing the hot weight of his body on yours.

You pant together, sweaty and spent. His cheek is crushed to yours, and he turns his face just enough to kiss any part of you he can reach—the top of your shoulder, your forehead, the tip of your ear.

When you manage to drag your eyes open, you find his huge doe-brown eyes already looking at you. “Good?” he whispers, kissing your shoulder again.

You smile at him, feeling drunk and dizzy. “So good,” you tell him.

You’re still wrapped up in each other like idiots when he jolts hard as though startled. You’re confused for about half a second, before the buzzer from downstairs goes off. 

“Oh, shit,” you hiss, scrambling out of bed.

“You get ready,” Peter says, somehow already dragging on a pair of sweatpants. The speed and dexterity with which he’s able to dress never ceases to amaze you. “I’ll stall.”

You’re stepping out of the fastest shower of your life when you hear the squeaky door to your apartment opening.

“Hey, Bear,” Peter’s voice says.

“Hey, Parker. Your shirt’s inside-out,” she says. 

You lean the naked top half of your body around the bathroom door to wave at her. “Hey, sorry, I just got out of the shower. I need like, three minutes to get dressed.”

She clicks her tongue, but doesn’t look overly annoyed as she flops onto the couch. “It’s hot as shit in here,” she says cheerfully, swinging her feet up onto your coffee table. 

You can hear her and Peter chatting as you hurriedly get ready; he asks her about Krista, she asks him about his aunt. Unsurprisingly, Bear and May had hit it off in a huge way at your birthday after May had excitedly demanded to know everything about the play Bear was auditioning for.

You give yourself a quick once-over to make sure you look presentable before you duck out into the living room. Peter and Bear have moved onto once again arguing about music; Peter’s on Blur’s side, Bear’s on Oasis’. 

You give them both a sideways look. “I’m not getting involved in this,” you say, checking to make sure your keys are in your bag. “But I’m just saying, in a real fight, Liam Gallagher would kick Damon Albarn’s ass any day of the week.” Peter grins at you from behind the counter, where he’s attempting to clean the disaster left in the kitchen from dinner last night.

“Oh, my God,” Bear says, looking you up and down. “Why do you look so worked up? Were you guys just fucking? Like right now?”

 Peter can’t turn away fast enough to conceal his snort, and you make a face at her. “It’s called caffeine. Come on, we’ll be late.”

Peter waves at her. “Say hi to Krista.”

“You should come with us, next time you get a night off work,” Bear says, helping herself to a stick of gum from the packet on the bench.

“Bye,” you say, leaning in to wrap your arms around Peter’s waist. “Be careful,” you add quietly, leaning up to kiss him.

He grins. “Always am.” He kisses you back, slow and gentle, before letting you go.

Bear shakes her head. “You guys are so gross. Later, Parker.”

Peter trails you to the door so he can close it behind you. Bear’s a few feet ahead of you, and you don’t mean to linger, but you can’t help but look back one last time as you go.

Peter’s leaning in the door, a dish rag over his shoulder. His hair’s chaotic from where you’d run your fingers through it, and his cheeks are still a little pink with warmth. 

As you watch, his eyes crease at the corners. “Love you,” he mouths, too quiet for Bear to hear. He still has the cutlery in his hands he’d been drying before you walked out; two knives, two forks. 

You can feel your face splitting into a smile you’re sure must be even goofier than his. You hold his gaze, and as Bear drags you away, you’re missing him already.

[kei-kinda-writes]

Rainy Days!

TYPE: Headcannons, Rainy days: It's a rainy day! what do you do to pass the time?

CHARACTERS (separate): Shoto Todoroki, Katsuki Bakugo, Denki Kaminari, Eijiro Kirishima, Izuku Midoriya, Hitoshi Shinso, Ochako Uraraka, Tsuyu Asui, Kiyoka Jiro

Can be red as platonic or romantic

SHOTO TODOROKI: Eating favourite food or snacks together

Very chill guy and would sit down with you to enjoy your favourite food together :D

Either you’ll sit in silence or work together on some homework: a good homework helper

No matter what it’d end up pretty quiet because I don’t think he’s very good with small conversations

Once a conversation does get going though he’ll engage and listen very well all you’d have to do is start it

If you end up finishing your food Shoto would end up offering to go get you some more while making himself some more soba

by the end he’s probably smiling a bit while listening to you and nodding along to what your saying

I think Shoto loves hearing stories about you too so if he got you to share some he’d love it

Will tell you a bit about his training since that’s the only thing he’d really know to talk about

KATSUKI BAKUGO: Baking

I know he can cook well but to me it would be the absolute funniest thing if he couldn’t bake if his life depended on it

no matter what this will end up in absolute chaos with a messy kitchen and constant banter and yelling

definitely a time to remember! You would probably be the one to bring up the idea and have to convince him

in the end though you would probably end up with some delicious 5 star deserts

He probably refuses to anything besides cupcakes or chocolate chip cookies though

Will laugh at you if you make a mess and force you to clean it up

Goodluck if you start a flour fight though! :) that’s the start of war and Katsuki won’t stop until he’s won

Took at least half an hour to clean the kitchen though

DENKI KAMINARI: Video games

Firm believer he likes video games and probably anime

Will play any game genre with you however has a preference towards horror or adventure games

If you play dress to impress though he will somehow absolutely destroy you and end up on the podium almost every time

some sort of music or TV show would be playing in the background if you aren’t playing a horror game though

Will scream like a little girl if you play horror games so you gotta prepare for that

Ends in a noise complaint 100%

would willingly try out a bunch of free games with you and rate them together with you

overall it’s an amazing time and I think even if you don’t play he’d still like for you to sit around and watch!

EIJIRO KIRISHIMA: Workout/Training

He likes working out and stuff lots so would invite for you to join him!

Won’t care if you do or don’t participate just enjoys the company and tells some of the best stories

Imagine he’s doing some sort of push ups or sit ups telling you about homework with Katsuki and you’re just sat listening and helping him out

if you do participate though he’ll be your personal cheerleader and always be so helpful and outgoing telling you good job on a constant

Might make a small competition to see who can do more push ups or lift more

Would be open to sparring too for more practice!

Another thing he might do with you on a rainy day is re-dye his hair which would likely end up in chaos and calling Mina in for help

IZUKU MIDORIYA: Movies

Like I’ve said before he probably really likes documentary movies and would invite you to watch one!

Wont mind if you end up choosing a different type of movie though as long as the two of you get to watch something together it makes him happy

Additionally won’t care if you’re doing work or scrolling through social media while watching I think he just likes having your company

If you are watching a documentary movie though be prepared for him to pause and rant about how a fact isn’t correct

So if you don’t like that he might not be the best person to watch a movie with!

If you end up falling asleep at any point though he’d cover you with a blanket or something along the lines of that and turn the volume down slightly so you won’t end up woken up

Will bring out an all might blanket to have whilst watching the movie too as well as some snacks! :D

Likely makes mental note of your favourites and buys some or at the very least grabs whatever you’d like from the dorm kitchen!

HITOSHI SHINSO: Naptime

He’s so sleep deprived and without a doubt takes naps

And when it starts raining? I mean come on we all know that’s perfect napping time

It would take awhile before he invites you to be his napping buddy but once you are it’s the absolute best

He probably has some of the comfiest pillows and blankets and the two of you bring out a small mat he has in his closet for sleepovers and just nap in the same room

Might also put on some sort of show as background noise if you need it or if you just don’t feel like napping

Adding onto that if you don’t wanna take a nap or just don’t feel tired he’d probably just leave you to your own devices and let you do whatever you’d like as long as you’re quiet

Won’t pressure you to nap with him would more like casually offer it on a rainy day to see if you’d like to join

OCHAKO URARAKA: Arts + crafts

Like I’ve said in a previous headcannon I think Uraraka enjoys doing little crafts like making bracelets together or painting stuff like that!

if you aren’t doing a messy craft you’d end up in a pile of pillows and blankets on the floor I think

if you end up making bracelets together I think she’d absolutely adore making matching ones together :))

Or something like switching canvases or papers every couple of minutes!!

I am a firm believer she listens to lofi beats so that would be playing in the background

warm lighting, silly banter and crafts, rain, and calming music, the vibes would be immaculate

After the stuff you two made is either hanging up somewhere in her dorm or she’s proudly wearing it around! :)

if you make little charms or something along those lines she would keep it in her costume for keepsakes much like the all might gift she received around the holidays episode

TSUYU ASUI: Playing in the rain

I know it’s a bit cliché, but from what we know about Tsu liking water I’m a firm believer that she likes the rain

Jumping, dancing, running around anything is on the table

She wouldn’t pressure you into playing with her, she would definitely enjoy it if you did however she’d be fine if you watched from inside or just on some steps under a roof

Building on that she probably is a very flexible person and wouldn’t mind just watching the rain with you if you don’t wanna get wet but still wanna spend time together :))

If you do end up playing in the rain together you’d probably both come back in with soaked clothes and muddy pants!

definitely calls it one of her favourite memories with you and probably asked to take a couple of photos together to remember the occasion

Photos from then were likely her phone background for awhile

KIYOKA JIRO: Learning instruments + listening to music

Jiro loves music we know that from the UA carnival concert ordeal thingy (idk what it’s called man)

I think it’s sorta like a love language of hers to teach music to the people around her

So if you’re open to it and willing to try she’d love to take advantage of the bad weather and teach you how to play an instrument

I’d say she’s pretty understanding if you have noise sensitivities or just aren’t willing to learn anything though

So if you aren’t too keen on it though or maybe you just don’t like loud noises she’s also spend time sharing her music with you :)

You’d be in her room just exchanging songs and such, she wouldn’t pressure to share songs either but would absolutely adore it if you did

After awhile if she ended up with a good knowledge of your music taste she would make a playlist and that’s the one she’d play every rainy day or in general time she spends with you!

Would be willing to paint nails or work on homework whilst listening

Thanks for reading!

Side note: Apologies if there’s any typos, things don’t make sense, or the characters feel as though they aren’t properly done!

[hacked-by-jake]

𝗗𝗪 𝗕𝗼𝘆𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 "𝗕𝗮𝗯𝗲"

Characters: Jake, Richy, Dan, Thomas, Phil, Alan

Warnings: None, I guess. Phil got slightly suggestive but it's Phil so. Oh, and no beta read.

A/n: Hey, look what this is. A little, silly, headcanon thingy. What can I say? No idea how I came up with it. But I was bored. Don't expect too much. It's small and it's silly, as I said. Hope you like it anyway. 💚

𝗝𝗔𝗞𝗘

Oh boy, he would freeze on the spot and be unable to move.

He would stare at the table as if he could set it on fire with his eyes. Although he has clearly heard the nickname, his mind needs a few more moments until it has seeped through every cell of his body and the real meaning breaks over him.

You could swear the man is starting to shake with tension.

He is completely shocked that you give someone like him a pet name and indirectly express your feelings for him.

On the inside he explodes with joy and in his imagination a tear rolls over his cheek which he holds back in reality with everything he has.

Either way, he would be absolutely powerless against the crooked grin which is slowly creeping over his lips, so he does nothing but let it happen.

He has clenched his hands into fists and his cheeks turn slightly red in embarrassment but he has to hear it again.

"Can you repeat it?" he would whisper with broken voice.

You would of course repeat it and it would burn into his memory and he is one hundred percent sure that this is the most beautiful thing he has ever heard.

If possible his love for you would increases even further and if you would ask him right now to commit a murder for you then he would only ask which weapon you want him to use.

If he were to stand, his knees would probably give in and he would collapse.

He’s completely at your mercy.

𝗥𝗜𝗖𝗛𝗬

Pah, the hyperactive rubber ball would lose all composure.

He would look at you with the widest grin and you would be worried that his cheeks would tear open as much as he smiles at you.

He would wrap his arms around you to pull you happily in for a hug. Probably the hug is a little too tight.

He would kiss your forehead and then rattle down all the pet names he can think of to test what would be the best name for you and how it feels to pronounce it.

He would continue without interruption throughout the entire day.

𝗗𝗔𝗡

Pff, Dan is a macho.

That man would immediately start grinning like the greatest charmer and would tease you with it.

"Well, see, see, babe it is now, huh? Took long enough. But I’ve known for a very long time that you call me that every night in your dreams, I mean, how could you not"

He would smirk sinfully before placing his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to kiss you.

Then he would whisper "I love you too, babe" against your lips.

𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗦

What should happen? The guy’s a puppy through and through.

He would look at you like he was your pet and you just showed him his favorite little toy and he would be waiting for you to finally throw it so he can bring it back to you happily.

You can swear that you see his eyes getting a little wetter but he would say "I have something in my eye" to distract but you know of course that it’s just an excuse and would have to grin about it.

He would kiss you gently and tell you how much he loves you, of course not without also using a pet name for you.

In his head, however, he already plans that you both move into an apartment together, how you get married and have children and lead the happiest life until the end of your life.

𝗔𝗟𝗔𝗡

First of all, he would warn you and ask you how many times he has told you not to use his police radio at home to "call" him. He has a private phone with which you can make calls very well.

But then he would have to concentrate completely on not grinning broadly and would tell you that in his lunch break would come home so that you can continue talking there.

The rest of the shift he’d be a little grinning idiot no matter what case he’s working on.

After he came home, he would wink at you and confess how much he enjoyed you calling him that and telling you to always call him that.

Of course, you will do it with utmost pleasure. Of course, you'll be using the police radio.

𝗣𝗛𝗜𝗟

He would smile cheekily and answer you. But of course not without using the same pet name at the end of his sentence and emphasizing it extra strongly.

He would stop cleaning the bar to come around the counter grab you by your hips.

Of course he would kiss you and then whisper in your ear.

"Babe? That’s fucking hot, I think I can go home earlier tonight, the others can do the rest on their own. We should go home urgently."

It's obvious that he would wink at you.

[princessbrunette]

im not a big john b girlie but you write him so well! your most recent one w toxicex!reader n all was so well written!

you seriously nail dialogue so well, they feel so human and their dialogue conveys such nuance and glimpses into their personality and motivations. i'm genuinely such an impressed by writing and incredible skill, you have such a seamless way with words, painting a really charged, and clear image of these characters and scenarios.

p.s some questions if youre willing to answer !

what got you into writing fan fiction?

do you write your own original stories, or are you more happy and comfortable exploring these fictional worlds as is?

would you say writing is an outlet for you, from life, or drama, or work?

when it comes to dialogue, what do you think is more important - what is said or what isn't and

do you have any particular literary inspirations for dialogue (i.e a film with good dialogue like 'before sunrise' or a novel like 'normal people' or something) or are you more thinking of just real, conversations or straight from shows (like outerbanks, and etc) and watching how they talk rather than trying to emulate any other style?

sorry if this sounds like an interview or if this is a bit much or overwhelming. i've been reading your stuff for like a good year now, and i'm just curious!

adore your work, hope all is well sending hugs n love :)) x

this is literally so sweet <3 made me so happy tysm!! of course i’ll answer ur questions ♡

what got you into writing fan fiction?

well tbh i’ve been writing ‘fanfiction’ since before i knew what it was. i’ve mentioned a few times on this blog but i had this little notebook (that i still have!) where i’d write loads of self insert stories when i was roughly 9-10 years old. i would insert myself into my favourite disney shows with the characters i had a crush on etc. it was my favourite thing to do, id bring my notebook with my everywhere and it could keep me entertained for hours! that’s probably where i got my start.

do you write your own original stories, or are you more happy and comfortable exploring these fictional worlds as is?

on tumblr particularly i’m more comfortable adapting universes that already exist because i enjoy the community i can / have built off relating characterisations with other people on the internet. i can have some sort of semblance of whether or not im doing an okay job based on the feedback. however, i grew up writing for a stage / screen too, which i’ve recently gotten back into and i do deeply enjoy creating a universe from scratch.

would you say writing is an outlet for you? from life, drama or work?

not particularly! moments in my real life have absolutely inspired by writing but i’m not sure i use it as an escape. as someone with autism, routine is really important to me. i write as part of my routine mostly every single day whether i post something or not — and if i don’t write i actually feel pretty thrown off. i also write in other forms, for example i love journalling. i think if anything were to be an outlet it would be that.

when it comes to dialogue, what do you think is more important? what is said or what isn’t?

that’s a really interesting question and honestly i’m not sure! i think it varies from fic to fic. i do think what isn’t said can be very powerful, however i believe in order to grasp what is being conveyed without words the reader would really need to understand the character — and to my understanding not every reader does. not only do i know that based off requests i receive occasionally trying to force characters into boxes i personally think they do not belong — but not everyone is here to understand, period. some readers are casual readers, just here to thirst because they saw a couple of edits they liked (which is great, no problem with that!) in which case i like to make my writing accessible to everyone and i try to make their intention as verbatim as possible.

do you have any particular literary inspirations for dialogue (i.e a film with good dialogue like 'before sunrise' or a novel like 'normal people' or something) or are you more thinking of just real, conversations or straight from shows (like outerbanks, and etc) and watching how they talk rather than trying to emulate any other style?

not any that i can remember! i focus more on trying to make my characters seem like they stepped directly off the show even if it’s based in an au. i want readers to be able to hear the intonation in their voice, understand why they’d stutter when they did, see their facial expression as they say it in their head the same way they would if they were watching outerbanks. however, when i read over my drabbles — i often reimagine them as if they were adapted to a film instead. i would give anything to watch all of my drabbles on a private screen, each of them produced in a sofia coppola style of cinema. that would be really fun and girly and aesthetically pleasing i think.

i hope that answered your questions adequately !! 🩷

[crowsandturtlesandbatsohmy]

Do you ever make posts about the other teams?

As I have a special place in my heart for Bokuto and kenma

Ooh! Good question. I haven’t yet, since I’m only on my first watch-through and I’m really invested in Karasuno right now. To be honest, Noya is the only one to have gotten a dedicated post like the one you saw XD He’s my absolute favorite. That said, I love the other teams too!! My favorite non-Karasuno teams are Nekoma, Fukurodoni, Seijoh, and Johzenji.

I love Bokuto! He’s such a goofy golden retriever! And I love his dynamic with Tsukki and Hinata! To be honest I don’t have much to say about him other than that, which sounds bad, but I do love Bokuto. He’s a sweetheart!

Ooh, Kenma is great! I recently just finished the Nekoma episodes of season 4, and although I liked Kenma before I love him now! He’s very relatable, and I look at him and can see a lot of myself. We have vastly different temperaments, but his coping strategies for a lot of things and the way he interacts (or avoids interacting) with people are both things that are just so incredibly familiar to me. I thought it was so cute how he got mad at gravity during their episodes XD And that he finally admitted the team are his friends! Also he has really pretty eyes.

Some of my favorite characters from other teams are Yaku, Akaashi, and Tendō.

Yaku stole my heart as soon as I saw him, honestly, so he’s always the one I look for first when Nekoma shows up. I just really enjoy his dynamic with the team as a whole and individually :) Akaashi grew on me as seasons went by. I never disliked him, but originally I was very passive to him. And now the more I learn about him the more I can see of myself, and the more I get to watch him play and interact with his teammates the more I like him! I loved his little analysis breaks during season 4 while they lasted. Also he has gorgeous eyes. Like sir. Who gave you permission to have eyes that pretty?

And then Tendō. Never in a million years did I expect to like Tendō, let alone say he’s one of my favorites from a non-Karasuno team. When he initially showed up he gave me the creeps, and then he sang his little song while Yamaguchi was leaving the court and I decided I hated him more than Oikawa (for the record, I no longer hate Oikawa, but I did for a long while). And then we got his backstory and I sympathized because I’ve been there. I completely understand being the weird kid no one wants to be friends with. And after that I couldn’t hate him anymore, I was just happy he found a place he fits and he’s got a best friend and he seems to be pretty happy with his life. He’s a sweetheart too in his own way, and I loved all of his season 4 moments.

As far as teams themselves go, I’d say Nekoma is probably my second favorite, with Seijoh and Fukurodoni being tied for third, and then Johzenji comes in fourth. Johzenji is on here solely for their vibe, honestly. They seem like they genuinely have fun playing volleyball, and it was so contagious during Karasuno’s match against them! I’m not super attached to any of their players, but they are by far the most fun team to watch in a match for me. (Even above Karasuno, because Karasuno stresses me out and is going to be the reason I go gray early)

I love Bokuto and Akaashi, but they’re really the only Fukurodoni members I know. So while I love them both enough that it puts Fukurodoni on the list, I can’t say I love the team as a whole more than I love Seijoh or Nekoma.

With Seijoh I love three characters, but they’re all a bit mean in their own ways, so I can’t say I love them more than Fukurodoni because while I do enjoy them, I can’t ever bring myself to root for them. That said, my favorite Seijoh players are Oikawa, Iwaizumi, and Kunimi.

Nekoma has the best vibes out of pretty much any of the teams, as far as dynamics go. Like I would happily be a manager for Nekoma just so I could hang out with these guys. Like I said earlier, I love Yaku and Kenma, but I also really enjoy Kuroo and Fukunaga and Shibayama! Nekoma’s dynamic as a team has a special feeling to it that I have yet to see in any of the other teams, and if I had to be part of a team I’d probably pick Nekoma over Karasuno, because I feel I’d fit better with Nekoma’s vibes than Karasuno.

Karasuno is still my favorite team though by sheer virtue of “I love every single character on this team” (and also Karasuno is the only team that has Nishinoya, so they get major bonus points for that). I have an emotional investment in Karasuno that I don’t have (as much) with the other teams. I have watched these boys grow and learn and become better and stronger and learn to live up to their motto. They really are flying, and it’s amazing to watch, knowing where we started.

Sorry, I kinda talked your ears off there XD Please feel free to ask about any other characters/teams/etc. or TMNT/anything else! I always enjoy talking about characters from pretty much anything I’ve seen :)

[servants-hall]

Anna Madeley on Mrs. Hall and Gerald’s Relationship

In a Season 4 interview with MASTERPIECE, All Creatures Great and Small‘s Anna Madeley shares her insights about Mrs. Hall and Gerald’s (somewhat polarizing, always lovely) relationship, how hard it’s become for Mrs. Hall to leave, if there’s a future for Mrs. Hall and Siegfried, and—perhaps most importantly—if the dogs will be okay without each other. Contains significant Episode 6 spoilers

MASTERPIECE: When did you find out that Mrs. Hall and Gerald wouldn’t end up together? Did you know from the beginning?

ANNA MADELEY: No, at the beginning I don’t think there was a plan necessarily for Gerald to be with us for three series [seasons]. He came in as a character and we all loved him, and he became part of the world, so then he stayed on and became more part of the world. I think one of the things that’s lovely in the way they write the show is that they keep writing as it goes along, so they respond to what someone brings to the work, which is great. Will [Thorpe, who plays Gerald] brought this really lovely character who we all slightly fell in love with. Therefore, he had this much longer story, and those two characters just got on really well.

I think it opened up a side of Mrs. Hall’s life that no one else within that household does, so it was quite an exciting other avenue. And having a character who’s her age group, who has lived through the first World War, and with whom she can quietly knock about and have fun, go out and do things that aren’t connected to do with work—this is absolutely your friend outside of all of that. Very early on, Melissa Gallant, our executive producer, was like, “Gerald’s the first person that’s made Mrs. Hall a cup of tea.” He’s the one who’s offering to do the washing up and things. So he brings in a very different energy, a different dynamic, to that household, and gets on really well with her.

MASTERPIECE: Do you imagine that if Gerald hadn’t had to leave, they would have gotten married and they could have made it work?

ANNA MADELEY: It’s an interesting one, isn’t it? I think, what would have happened if the war wasn’t there? They’re big “if”s, aren’t they? I think there’s a world in which those two characters could have made each other quite happy. I think they were good companions for one another and had a lot in common. It’s difficult to answer, isn’t it, knowing that it had to come to an end? It’s quite difficult to think about the “what if”s.

I think that what’s so hard at the end is that there isn’t a reason between them, as such, for it not to have worked out. The reasons it’s not working out are outside obligations and outside relationships, the people that they know and love and who they want to be near. And I think the war heightens all those feelings in that obviously, his sister needs him regardless of the war, but that probably makes it all the more urgent. Mrs. Hall had to leave a family unit before and had to restart her life, so it was a big thing that she thought she could do. But it would have involved a huge sacrifice, a lot of the relationships that she’d have really had to say goodbye to. Because it’s hard enough now, isn’t it, having relationships with people who are a long way away? But then it would have been letters only, I suppose. So yeah, I think there probably is a world in which it would have been very sweet and could have worked out, but…

MASTERPIECE: Gerald said, “I’ve always known this would happen. Maybe it was never meant to be.” That was surprising. Why do you think he said it?

ANNA MADELEY: It’s interesting, isn’t it? I think it’s an idea. Because I think for a lot of people, his increasing presence in Mrs. Hall’s life and the surprise of her running and kissing him at the end of [Season 3], it’s polarized a bit, hasn’t it? Some people would like Mrs. Hall and Siegfried Farnon to get together and other people don’t want that at all; they think that would never happen. People have very different opinions on it.

But yes, I think her strength of commitment, the evolution of her friendship alone with Mr. Farnon, and her burgeoning relationship with Helen, with all of those things, I think we see that community and how much she’s needed as well, as she wants to be there for those people. And I wonder now, looking back slightly, whether Gerald had to keep prompting her to hand in her resignation. And you think, not consciously, but she somewhere was unsure. Sometimes, if you’re sure, it can be simple, but I think in this case it was very complicated.

And to me, that’s where that comes from. Siegfried Farnon has always been a strong presence, and it’s complicated because he’s her employer, as well. It’s a lot she’s giving up. For a woman who’s in a position where she’s independent, but she’s entirely dependent on her income from that job, and that’s also where she lives, it was a big thing to offer to give all of that up and to go towards something quite unknown.

I think all that uncertainty is probably what fed that comment near the end that something wasn’t sure. But at the same time, I think they love each other and have huge affection for one another. And will continue to, I think. But something about the path wasn’t going to be smooth.

MASTERPIECE: In the time that we’ve known her, Mrs. Hall has made a tremendous leap in her life. Can you talk about how Gerald was one of many who helped her to arrive at the place where she could get her divorce and move forward?

ANNA MADELEY: It’s in Season 2 that we meet Diana Brompton, in the early days of Gerald being on the scene, which has thrown Mrs. Hall for a bit of a loop—she doesn’t quite know what to do with herself. At that point, it’s been a long time since Mrs. Hall’s thought of herself in that light. She’s brought up her son and moved on, and is pleased to have found what’s become more than a job—it’s her surrogate family, and it fulfills her need to be a nurturer. She really enjoys being someone who makes that household function and come to life. I think that is genuinely where she finds the joy.

But Gerald is the first time that romantic possibility is opening up again, and she’s quite naive. She’s probably only ever been with her husband, and dating is not a world she knows terribly well. So Diana Brompton is, I suppose, a slightly shocking character for her, in a gentle way. She’s a woman who’s quite open about, “Yes, I’ve got divorced and I’m having a marvelous time.” I think knowing that’s a possibility is quite interesting for her, and then having somebody come along who makes it seem like there’s a world out there in which that could happen for Mrs. Hall…

Somehow those elements don’t all quite come together at the right time; it’s too complicated. But they open up that world, and I think it makes her realize how she can’t coexist being married and enjoying what’s become more than a friendship with Gerald. She needs to be at one with herself. It is an interesting journey for her, having made peace with her son, and then needing to be at one with herself, with her own conscience, and be okay with how she’s behaving.

So the divorce is the answer, even though it’s a difficult and a new thing to do. The law only changed in 1937 to make the grounds possible. And it’s quite exposing for her. She’s someone who took the vows she made very seriously, and the idea of having to confront the fact that it’s not then for life was a very big deal for her. But I think knowing that there was joy and happiness on the other side of it, and that she would feel better, was really important. I think Gerald’s presence in her life probably was part of what propelled her forwards and gave her the confidence to do it.

MASTERPIECE: Do you have a favorite Mrs. Hall and Gerald moment?

ANNA MADELEY: I’m not sure if there’s any one particular scene. I suppose what I think I’ll miss, both me and Mrs. Hall, is that their relationship was so about going out, walking their dogs, taking the air, having someone to chat to, and just have gentle fun with. Those scenes were always a lot of fun with Will to do because he’s so funny. We had a lot of fun doing them, but it was also just a really delicate, sweet evolution of a friendship as they walked their dogs. We had a lot of fun shooting things, like when the dog gets hold of the joints of meat in the kitchen. It was very funny. But yeah, in a lot of those scenes we had a good time.

MASTERPIECE: After the end of Episode 6, I feel like the show wants me to hope that Mrs. Hall and Siegfried will end up together. Do you think that the series wants me to want this, or do you think the series just wants me to know that Siegfried is feeling back on his feet again, or none of the above?

ANNA MADELEY: Maybe all of the above. I think it’s probably made them all realize what’s at stake, that it’s not easy to walk away. And that’s quite interesting. What it means to them, we don’t know. I know there’s a lot of chat about it. And it’s relationship where you feel that they started off as an employer/employee, but the friendship has grown, the degrees of intimacy have grown. They know a lot about one another’s lives. And Siegfried’s been a wonderful friend to her, in a way, through the divorce. He’s not judgmental about it at all and he offers to help her. He doesn’t quite know what to do, but he wants to be part of making her happy.

And that’s one of the things that’s rather lovely: not always knowing how, but always wanting one another’s happiness. I think that growing affection is there, and I do think at the end of Episode 6, there was a slight feeling of relief in the decision made. Once the decision’s been made, it’s quite interesting, isn’t it? Whether it leaves you going, “Oh God, why did I do that?” Or whether it leaves you feeling, “Okay, it’s sore, it’s not comfortable, a bit of time needs to pass, but something in you says that’s the right decision.” And I think you do see that he’s very glad that she stayed.

MASTERPIECE: We know that Mrs. Hall will be okay after this breakup, and we viewers, eventually, will be okay too. But do you think that Jess will be okay about losing Rock?

ANNA MADELEY: Well, I don’t know, because that’s going to be a big part of their lives—they’re going to be going out for a walk without their chums. I was thinking about that. Jess does have Dash now in the house, so she’s not completely alone in the home, and she’ll probably be okay. But maybe we need to find another chum. We need to grow that pack of dogs until we’ve got as many as there are in the books.

[ongreenergrasses]

Ten Characters/Ten Fandoms/Ten Tags

tagged by @anosrepasi forever ago to do this one and it of course got buried, thank you for tagging me 💜 most of these aren’t really fandoms just different source media but whatever

1. Nile Freeman (The Old Guard). like does it surprise anyone she’s at the top of this list? idk. she is so brilliant because her flaws are also her strengths, and that’s how the world works but that’s really exemplified in her i feel. my beloved main character 💖 i miss her and i love that I’ve been writing her more with these prompt fills!

2. Leia Organa (Star Wars). what can i say. firmly believe she’s a candidate for character of all time. it bothers me when people make it so that women Have To Be Tough but she’s so, so tough and she has such an incredibly shit hand and she’s a princess and she’s constantly making wisecracks and she was kind of who i wanted to be as a kid when i wasn’t pretending to be Darth Vader

3. Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games). also should not be a surprise if you’ve seen my blog recently but i do love her because she is just so. she is so many things but she is just so clueless. and I really do love that because if there’s one thing I remember about being 16-17 it’s how unbelievably self centered and clueless i was despite thinking otherwise.

4. Daisy Jones (Daisy Jones and the Six). there’s a lot of put together people on this list and she’s definitely not that and neither am i. she feels music so very deeply that it’s part of her like i do and she also has absolute dogshit taste in men like i do. she’s selfish she’s constantly trying to feel something she’s deeply artistic and deeply flawed and imo she’s probably one of the most interesting characters on this list

5. Jackie (Love Lies Bleeding). she is the toxic bisexual representation we all need and deserve!!! she makes things right she gets revenge on the people that have wronged the woman she loves she laughs and smiles she’s a hitchhiker motivated deeply by her dream and she’s a fucking body builder. she nearly had it all until she started murdering people and honestly good for her anyway

6. Iris West (The Flash). she’s just so cool, she’s a journalist! she’s a superhero! she’s kind and caring and her family’s moral compass and her family’s motivator and honestly her family’s rock and I will absolutely never get over how dirty the CW did her and Candice Patton. completely reprehensible shit.

7. Joan Watson (Elementary). there’s constantly talk about the best Sherlock Holmes adaptation blah blah etc etc but she is hands down the best Watson i think we will ever get. she nails the indulgent supportive exasperation of the character perfectly and the energy and individuality she brings to a character that is so infamous is something really special. i also genuinely love the questions she asks idk i think she just asks really very good questions and that’s exactly what you need in a Watson!

8. Idgie Threadgoode (Fried Green Tomatoes). i am deeply deeply in love with this book. i recently reread it and idk what was going on with me mentally before where i wasn’t obsessed with it but i am now and she has moved into my brain full time. she is so passionate and so fearless and feels everything so deeply and makes the life she wants for herself despite enormous societal obstacles and she is so very very loved.

9. Elle Woods (Legally Blonde). what can i even say that hasn’t been said probably more eloquently. one of the things i love about her most is that she’s a perfect example of how there’s no such thing as useless knowledge. everything you know is valuable and worthwhile and useful and everything you love and care about will someday come to help you when you need it. i’ve thought about becoming a lawyer for a while now but if i actually go through with it it’s down to her!!!

10. Louise Banks (Arrival). obviously Arrival is one of my favorite movies but the reason she’s on this list is because she makes the absolutely insane and incredibly brave choice that she wouldn’t change anything. she knows the future she knows what will happen she knows the devastation awaiting her and she makes the conscious decision not to try and avoid or fight that, but to welcome that. and that is one of the most metal fucking things i’ve ever seen.

tagging @goldheartedsky @godihatethisfreakingcat @nilefreemans @shatterthefragments @existentialdebbies

@constantlyfalling @lyricfulloflight @ghoulangerlee @aphroditestummyrolls and @flawlessassholes but as always no pressure 💖

[strangefellows]

Okay this is gonna be a long post but I figured why the hell not throw my absolute fucking lunatic conspiracy board Limbus Company theory out there, because I’ve had four people tell me it makes sense when I’ve brought it up to them, so! Here we go. Theory: I believe that Dante is Ayin (a main character of the first ProjMoon game, Lobotomy Corp, for those who don’t know). There’s a metric asston of evidence in just the first few chapters alone that keeps making me lie on the floor and scream, so let me document it! 

We’re going under a cut for length, let’s get started! Heavy spoilers for Lobotomy Corporation and Ruina under here, be warned.

The Song: First of all, just looking at the lyrics to In Hell We Live, Lament has me absolutely losing my fucking mind. We’re looking at insane lines like “I walked down a path / Leading to the past / Stole from the tree's hands / A regretter's friend / The forbidden fruit” and “If you wanted me to speak / If you wanted me to think / If you wanted me to carry on our dreams / Each loop we live through / The standards inside me / Thе line I drew for me / Lowers to the earth” and “Why'd you make my voice stutter? / Why do truths never matter? / Why'd you curse me with "you're a natural born genius"?” and “Replayed thoughts / Forget me not / I'm inside the empathic light / I bite off your skin / Exposing the angels on your ribs” and just...the repeated mention of loops. The song basically reads literally like Ayin himself singing it to Carmen. (The ending song also feels suspicious lyrically as well, but I can’t pin that down as easily.)

The Prologue: Not as much here, but I find it extremely suspicious that they didn’t show us a damn thing of Dante until after he loses his head and his memories. And honestly, Faust and Vergilius going ‘your name is Dante’ feels very blatantly like a goddamn lie. An amnesiac is gonna accept whatever you tell him is his name, man. Not to mention that he’s explicitly someone very important (Vergilius says so in ch3), and clearly knows something the bad guys desperately want. Which ties to my next point.

The Bad Guys: First of all, they want the Golden Boughs, which as apparently ‘pieces of L Corp’s Singularity’, are a very nice way to say they’re probably literally pieces of Carmen somehow. Branches sure look like the central nervous system, huh. Second, one of the trio in the intro refers to their boss as a ‘her’, says she wants to do something that’s ‘not illegal, but has never been done before’, and IIRC, calls her the Serpent. Now, looking at that serpent reference alongside Carmen’s existing parallels to WhiteNight, as well as Adam and his constant talk of the forbidden fruit...you see what I’m getting at here? Who tempted Adam in the first place?

The Inferno: Now, you see, even if the big bad is somehow Carmen in some way -- similarly to how the Voice led Argalia in Ruina, perhaps? -- that doesn’t necessarily mean Ayin is Dante. HOWEVER! Look back at the Inferno itself, the poem we’re working off extremely heavily. What is the purpose for Dante’s trip to hell? Beatrice. Dante’s dead girlfriend who’s become a divine being. Literally, Beatrice sent Virgil to guide Dante through hell and limbo and shit to bring him to her, roughly speaking. So, uh, looks at the whole dead now divine gf thing. Hm. Yeah. And where is our own trip to hell taking us? Through the ruins of Lobcorp, grabbing what are more or less pieces of Carmen, and I can’t remember if it’s said outright or not but there is a heavy ass chance this trip is ending at the main facility. Which, coming full circle...

The Clock: I will politely resist making a Hokma joke. But you have to admit it’s funny. In all seriousness, though, the fact that Dante’s power is resetting -- something that the entire gameplay of Lobotomy Corp and a major aspect of the plot was built around, resetting and looping and bringing the dead back to life -- is a major sus factor. In fact, I’m just waiting for someone to say ‘death is meaningless’ if I’m not just blanking on dialogue and someone’s said it already. Not to mention, the aspect of Dante feeling the pain of the injuries/deaths he’s rewinding gives me a lot to say about the (fairly canon) interpretation of Ayin martyring himself using the loops to punish himself for what he did. Suffering how the people he’s tied to suffered, so to speak. In fact -- I wouldn’t be surprised if the clock is/was Ayin’s EGO like the Library is Angela’s. How else would it be immediately to hand to slap on his neck, and what else could possibly have been able to legitimately replace his goddamn head on such short notice?

Manager: LOOK, THIS ONE IS TENUOUS BUT WHEN ADDED TO THE PILE-- the simple fact that Dante is deliberately given the title of manager feels important, when looked at through the lens of the rest of the evidence. There’s a line at the beginning of Chapter 1 when the children Sinners start fighting where Dante goes “Should I step in? Is this the part where I exercise my authority as the manager with dignity and grace? A faint memory urges me to do something." and it feels significant.

Random additional note: The Mirror Dungeons Wellcheers event has Dante say it ‘feels familiar’ -- does it? Does it now, Dante? 

While I’m still going through the game myself - middle of ch2 - I’ve had the whole story told to me, so I know what’s up, and though there’s probably more small bits I’m missing, the major beats here are definitely enough to support my theory for sure. It feels very right and fitting.

I’m just sitting here with several tinfoil hats and my ConspiracyBoard.gif going GUYS I SWEAR, THIS MAKES SENSE and losing it silently. I hope I’m right. I mean if I’m not right I’m making an AU fic anyway, but I hope I’m right. What do y’all think?

[luckycharms1701]

🖤 favorite hobbies outside of your blog

🔐 something no one would guess about you

🧟‍♀️ scariest thing that’s happened to you

📝 last thing you wrote

🍌 what is one talent you wish you had

💔 is there a fic you wish you didn’t write

🖊️ what character do you not enjoy writing for

🌊 a kink you would like to write but you think you’d be judged

☂️ your favorite fanfic from another writer

🪻what is the toughest thing you had to go through, but can say you’ve successfully overcome?

Hehe 🫶

🖤: y'all may have noticed, i am terminally online. but on the rare occasions i'm not online, i am still online alskdgj mostly i play video games these days. when i can manage it i like to read actual books too. i am going to get back into cross stitch someday, i really enjoyed doing that

🔐: i asked des and they said that no one would guess that i like frogs, that i drive a truck for work, and that i'm a crazy driver. which. i'm not crazy i don't think. just uhhh inherited my dad's lead foot

🧟‍♀️: i um. hm. i'm not willing to talk about that, sorry. next scariest would be the time when i went on a trip to australia for three weeks and when i came back my family almost forgot to pick me up. i was 14 and it was the longest i'd ever been away, so i was already stressed, and i thought i was going to be stuck in the airport until i starved or something

📝: the last thing i wrote was the raph fic i just posted lol. but i'm working on a leo fic that will eventually hit theaters

🍌: okay. i know what everyone's going to say, but i'm going to say it anyway. i always wanted to be able to draw. i just. don't have the spatial awareness necessary for it.

💔: i think every work is important in a creator's life. creating is about the journey, and each fic i've written is a step in that journey, and i love walking. are there fics that make me cringe? absolutely. but i'm glad i wrote them anyways

🖊️: hm. i don't hate it, but i don't particularly enjoy writing for rise donnie. i write by getting into a character's head, and he is particularly hard to grasp

🌊: jesus. um. probably omegaverse. when it's well written it is very good, but all the poorly written omegaverse gives the genre a bad rap

☂️: easy. goldilocks and the fruity maple pancakes by des

🪻: okay. this is going to sound a little silly. but honestly it’s talking to people. there are more difficult things i’m going through, but i can’t say i’ve overcome them. but! there was a time in my life when i was not able to order food for myself at a restaurant. like, physically unable to. this lasted well into my teenage years. there was a time, in the not too distant past, when i could not physically bring myself to make a phone call, even one i wanted to make. these things still make me nervous and i’m not above avoiding them, but i am capable of doing them. and that’s a huge improvement! i can strike up a conversation with a stranger when before i wouldn’t have been able to open my mouth. i will be awkward and weird, but i can do it!

[fangirlinglikeabus]

semi-serious sand thoughts:

i’m not actually opposed to servalan/tarrant conceptually, at least within this very specific scenario...part of that i think is that if you’re going to do a story that touches on a pain servalan experienced when she was very young, bringing in a Fresh Faced Youth to evoke that period of life works. also i get the impression that getting to play the dashing hero type does appeal to tarrant - see assassin, where he’s absolutely swayed by piri being apparently emotionally vulnerable and likely to need him. so like at the very least there’s some sort of precedent within the show. the fact that he’s so QUICKLY attracted by servalan’s tears adds to some of the ambiguity surrounding to what extent she’s manipulating him because surely she knows that, despite himself, this would be an effective way to win him over - and i’m not 100% convinced that would be the case with any other character. do i think all of this is entirely realised within the episode? uh...not sure. but i do think there’s reasoning behind the whole thing.

also i just think she deserves a boy toy or two idc

speaking of tarrant. love when servalan says he saved her life and he replies ‘we’re all entitled to one really big mistake.’ like buddy you are going to make one WAY bigger by the end of this episode.

adored that final scene of servalan thinking over both keller and tarrant before crushing the water cube tarrant gave her in her hand to get rid of the last of the sand. mainly because that looks like it could surely cut you, so it just comes across as this almost self-destructive act with which she closes off the potential for emotional vulnerability which was opened up by the sand trapping them. destroying both the gift tarrant gave her and the thing that brought them together. he remains unsure how sincere she was, she gets rid of any evidence she WAS sincere and in emotional pain - and to do so she breaks glass RIGHT into the palm of her hand.

(also potentially thinking of this in relation to ‘i don’t care about us’ and her placing tarrant’s gun up to her head and daring him to shoot her - which is pretty intense even if she guesses he won’t do it. women will literally murder their way into the presidency of an authoritarian state instead of going to therapy)

another good scene, this time with the scorpio crew: soolin theorising they’re being affected by that alien mind that got onto the ship through cally and vila snapping at her and storming off, only for her to admit to avon when he queries it that she doesn’t actually believe what she just said. just...up there with her telling orac ‘you wouldn’t know where to start’ when he offers her her heart’s desires in terms of what i find to be Tantalising Soolin Character Moments.

i’ve now also watched gold and while i think it’s a very solid episode (avon losing it laughing at the end when the entire crew are pissed at him because he risked their lives for a trap that got them nothing and netted servalan a bunch of money?? man has Reached His Fucking Limit and is now firmly Past His Fucking Limit) it does disappoint me a bit that dayna and tarrant seem to be largely interacting like usual. don’t get me wrong, i do like seeing the crew act like a competent unit and i’m not asking for a big blow up, but they’re probably two of the closer members of the crew, Away Mission Buddies, and he just hooked up with the woman who killed her father. that's a massive betrayal by someone she thought of as a friend, and i’d have liked a bit more obvious tension there even if it was just in small moments of interaction

i honestly had a great time with sand. i think every blake’s 7 member should have an episode where they’re locked in a room with servalan, i wanna see what would happen to each of them

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Heartstopper season 2 play-by-play analysis

This would be the moment in the typical movie where the character comes out and gets the happy ending and love ever after, and everything is alright, right?

But coming out is a choice for some people, and not so much for others, and it's not always perfect, and love does not always conquer all, and sometimes love is not even part of your story...

And sometimes there are many more issues, and not so simple solutions, and things aren't always black and white...

I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?

EPISODE 6 - TRUTH/DARE

- Nick knew how to get to the café without consulting Google maps or anything, which means this is a place he’s been to before.

- Nick and Charlie letting go of each other’s hands as they walk into the cafe. And “would you feel better if I waited here?” Nick’s rotund and absolute “NO,” then, a little as if to make sure that Charlie knows it’s about himself being nervous and not about Charlie being imposing, he adds “No, please come with me.”

- “He used to visit every summer”, and it makes you wonder why he stopped. Then Stephane really has no idea how old his son is and how much time he still has before he graduates, because he’s not involved in Nick’s life. Any child of divorced parents knows that nod either means Martine is not interested in meeting Nick (and probably David), or Stephane is unsure of how to bring it up. Or both. “Perhaps someday soon,” means “I will put it off forever because I don’t want to deal with that.” Martine definitely had to do something with Nick not visiting anymore, and even David probably hasn’t stayed with him either. Yet David brings it up when we first see him. “Next time I’ll stay with dad”. Sure. (Even the fact that he mentions how their dad will react when he finds out Nick is bi, indicates that he still very much cares about his father’s opinions and thoughts, even when Stephane doesn’t seem to care much about his sons’ lives.)

- “I’m sorry, something came up and I can’t get out of it.” Did you even try, sir? Dad bails out, this was probably always inteded to happen, to have a very short meeting, just enough to not leave Nick hanging completely. But because he leaves money behind to pay the bill, he thinks everything’s okay.

- Nick’s face when he realizes that coming out to his dad won’t happen, at least for now. Not only did he not stay long enough to even bring it up, but he assumes he’s straight and talks a lot about him having lots of girlfriends, and Nick is probably thinking that it’s just going to be like David, or worse. (Considering that even Sara said some things, assuming that Nick was into girls exclusively, it’s not like he was sure that she would react so great about him coming out, but it’s clearly very different with his dad, who is never there but for whom he still had a lot of admiration and excitement about being able to meet up. He wants his dad to know him, to know about him, to be proud of him. Maybe there’s even a little of “look, dad, you’re not in my life, but look how well I’m doing anyway”. I don’t know, I’m not a boy, and my parents didn’t divorce when I was still a teenager.)

- New favorite friendship dynamic unlocked: Charlie, Isaac and Nick squished up in one bad trying to find Wally.

- Other new favorite friendship dynamic: the boys asking Tao for every single detail of his kiss with Elle. “But I kissed her that time.” “OH MY GOD NO YOU DIDN’T” “What does this mean???”

- Meanwhile in the girls’ room, the dynamic is much the same, but I love that we get to see it for both groups.

- Tara is so sweet, always making sure that Isaac doesn’t feel excluded.

- “So are we-?” Elle making Tao short-circuit with a kiss.

- Charlie deflecting Nick’s question by asking him about how he’s feeling. And Nick refusing to let him get away with it. “I know I’ve been stressed about coming out, but I don’t think I realized how stressed out you’ve been about it.” “I get stressed about everything, you’re nothing special.” “Charlie- It matters to me.” Classic Charlie humor deflection technique. Poor Charlie, he’s never in a million years imagined that he’d fall for someone who cared so much about him, and he doesn’t even know what to do with himself.

- Ugh, this whole interaction between the teachers is soooooooo perfectly off of the comic book page. Mr Ajayi fishing for info on Mr Farouk. Awww Mr Farouk… “Don’t think there’s an age limit on those”.

- "You flirting with me?" "Maybe." MISTER AJAYI‼ AAAAAAHHHH‼

- “They are gonna be a handful today.” Power of prophecy.

- “Thanks, I hate it.” “I knew you would.” Tara, if you don’t want it, I can take it off your hands. (Seriously, where can I get that t-shirt?). I think the pressure of giving an amazing gift is so overrated, why not get your significant other the worst gift ever? That’s amazing.

- Darcy taking the first step at talking about her feelings, thank god, because things between them have been horribly tense and all over the place… “I’ve got plans, big plans.” Oh shit…

-SO MUCH GREEN. Darcy and Tara matching tops, Elle’s whole outfit, Sahar’s vest, Isaac’s vest, Imogen’s striped sweater. And Charlie’s sweater is a big blue-greeny, I feel (and then later he wears the green hoodie). But I think it’s interesting that Nick is wearing blue now, both during the day and then at the party, on the episode where he comes out to more people. Everyone perceives him as heterosexual, so he has to fight that heteronormativity applied to him. He wears the color and defies what it represents.

- I am Isaac at the bookshop, wandering around with a huge pile of books, knowing that I won’t be able to buy all of them, but by all the gods I will try…

- By the way, here's Isaac’s reading list from this season.

- Have kids these days stopped saying “take a picture of me” but instead say “take a selfie of me”? As if the word selfie has replaced the word picture?

- It’s sad how Nick and Charlie take a selfie in front of Notre Dame(?), and they seem tempted to kiss, but then walk away, whereas behind them, Tao and Elle don’t have to think about it at all. Until they walk into the area full of pride flags, and Nick and Charlie can feel more comfortable walking with joined hands. But that’s it.

- The pile of books on Isaac’s end of the bed… I want them all.

- The recharging scene is so lovely. They are so soft with each other. Charlie getting all worked up from that kiss and Nick just says “We gotta go”. I hate you too, Nick, how dare you.

- “Everything has to be perfect for Tara, she’s a princess.” Darcy is feeling so guilty, but she’s terrible at making up.

- Tara’s face when Darcy brings out the booze… oh no…

- The fact that Ben just sneaks into the party, unnoticed, and he just meekly goes around, trying to pass under the radar.

- Seriously, is there any queer boy that is not into Charlie (except Isaac of course)? First Ben, then Nick, and now even James. If only Charlie himself knew, the power he has…

- Even though we already know where this is going with Isaac, James’s little face still breaks my heart. He was so smitten with Isaac… and that was his first kiss… and he probably thought they were two booknerds in love… and… *weeps*

- Wait, so if James hadn’t kissed Isaac just before, that means that his literal first kiss could have almost been his former crush during truth or dare in front of everyone???? Nightmare scenario…

- Isaac, baby… I have now cried every single time I’ve watched this scene, I wonder if it will happen every single time. My little ace heart can’t take it.

- Nick really doesn’t like parties, or he hasn’t liked parties since he met Charlie, because he prefers hanging out with Charlie. Why pretend to have fun when you could be happily making googly eyes at your soulmate in a quiet corner? (Again, with Golden Retriever twin Darcy interrupting).

- The contrast between the party room, full of color and shiny decorations, whilst Harry and his mate stand outside in the harsh blue light of the corridor (again, blue representing heteronormativity).

- Harry apologizes to Charlie and Nick but he sounds so insincere, he’s smiling the entire time like he’s not really taking this seriously, and it’s all made worse by his friend behind him smiling smugly. They really thought it would work… Charlie is not intimidated by Harry anymore, not even a little bit, and we love him for that. Slam that door in his face, Charlie, that’s my son.

- At this point, why hasn’t anyone kicked out Ben yet? You’d think everyone would be behind Imogen on this. Unless she really doesn’t care, of course, she’s over him. And he just looks kind of relieved that he has managed to not get kicked out, but also… is that a bit of bitterness that I sense, at the fact that Charlie continues to stand up for himself and ignore him completely.

- As the game of truth-or-dare begins, it feels like maybe Ben wants to fit in, wants to be a part of this group, but he’s not entirely comfortable, but he’s still there, following the dynamic, maybe hoping that he’ll just be… accepted? And not have to put any work into it? (Am I reading too much into this?)

- “Imogen got a boyfriend last year and she stopped texting me.” “Uh, no, you stopped texting me.” The way that Imogen sort of nervously pushes her hair behind her ear… is kind of… flirty…?

- One of my favorite moments that’s not in the comics, the Charlie-Tao kiss had me in stitches. It’s the cheeky way that Tao crawls over, and Charlie’s embarrassed delight and Nick and Elle’s delighted faces. I love them so much. (Can't believe no one had giffed that yet, or at least I couldn't find it, so I had to do it myself! Guys, I'm really bad at this stuff, help!)

- Who is this person stirring the pot??? Poor James, poor Charlie. But I love Charlie going resolutely “No, no way” when he’s dared to kiss Ben. And Ben resorts to his usual tactics of pretending not to know Charlie (Imogen’s face, knowing that something definitely happened between Charlie and Ben… that Ben is hiding something, and that Charlie very vehemently wants nothing to do with him).

- And you know Ben wanted to bump into Nick so bad on his way out. “Always making a scene…”

- “I know who it was.” He takes the leap, and he checks with Charlie and he knows that, whatever happens, it will be okay. Elle’s smiling, Tara is smiling, but Tao still looks a bit tense.

- I loved everyone’s reaction to Nick coming out, very chill and “oooh so you gave him the hickey?” And Nick looks so relieved, they both do. And James, precious James, asking if they want it to be kept secret… And then Darcy, of course…

- That whole hallway scene all the way to the room, it’s so sweet. Notice how they go from blue-ish lighting to yellow lighting, the color of happiness, their color. Nick envelops Charlie in the warmest hug and they just, ugh, so fucking cute… then the whole carrying him over his shoulder, I want to know how many times they had to do that scene, it’s so perfect. (Had to gif this one too, am I searching wrong???)

- The bed fight, the pillow fight, and then the conversation about not being ready to do anything more than kissing yet. Nick was so nervous, the way he wasn’t nervous when he was the one kissing Charlie’s neck. This time it was his boyfriend being sexy, it was his boyfriend taking the lead and getting him all worked up… he had to stop it, because he realized that he was starting to feel things that he wasn’t ready for at the moment.

- “Why are we like this?”… Like what? Like perfect? Like the cutiest patootiest of all?

- Tao wearing Elle’s glasses and teasing her, whilst Imogen and Sahar are cuddled up in the next bed… And Isaac… baby…

- “I have to be perfect for you.” “Darcy, nobody’s perfect.” Darcy saying I love you with vomit in her mouth and smeared makeup and a crumpled party hat on her head, whilst Tara looks immaculate in her tiara and gold weaved into her braids and her white sweater…

- Mr Farouk giving Darcy a break, like he’s maybe not so strict anymore (because of someone’s influence)…

- I DON’T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES NOW I’VE WATCHED THE TEACHERS GOING FOR IT BUT I’M SQUEALING AGAIN. AAAAAAAHHHH‼ CAN’T WAIT FOR MORE TEACHERS NEXT SEASON‼

- That whole Charlie and Nick talking and sleeping montage fixed my mental health, cleared my skin, watered my crops and fed my cows. I have watched it in an loop. It’s beautiful.

- They are finally sitting together in the coach! And so are Elle and Tao. Meanwhile Tara and Darcy...

- The post about Mr Farouk. Merciless.

- Meanwhile both Mr Farouk and Mr Ajayi looking a bit tense and unsure after...

- “Is it true you guys are dating???” They haven't even gotten back from Paris... News spread fast...

This episode is brought to you by Whatever the Hell Darcy was Drinking™.

[fics-by-em]

Amorous Facades - Chapter Twelve

A wild night out leaves the lives of Jamie Tartt and Ophelia Adams more intertwined than they ever would have imagined.

Will their decision to try and use the situation to their advantage work out in their favour or will they realize that they should have cut their losses when they had the chance?

———-

previous chapter

———-

Note:  I am SO sorry this chapter took so long!

I really didn't intend for it to take me a month and a half to write it, but life has been real busy. Things are settling down now though so I'm hopeful that I can get back to posting chapters regularly. I love this story so much and am absolutely not abandoning it so I hope you guys will stick around too!

With that said, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and it makes up for the long wait 😉

———-

The first thing Lia noticed when she woke up was the fact that she was naked. The second thing that she noticed was the fact that she already had a smile on her face.

As the sleep slipped from her mind and her brain grew less foggy, the memories of why that was came back to her. Memories of the tense match and the happy ending that followed. Memories of celebrating and the pride she’d felt at having Jamie’s number on her back. Memories of exchanging alluring glances and provocative touches until the tension between them finally reached its boiling point when they got home.

She bit her lip to stop the grin from stretching completely from ear to ear, but it was hard to control herself when she could still feel the ghost of Jamie’s hand between her legs.

“Good morning.” His raspy, sleepy voice told Lia that he hadn’t been awake much longer than her and as his words snapped her out of her thoughts and she turned her head to look at him, his heavy eyelids confirmed her suspicions. “How’re you feeling?”

The question alone was enough to spark a flutter of contentment in her stomach, but Lia tried to play it cool. Things were still new and she was still hoping to take it slow. Her bold approach the night before had her almost hyper aware of the danger of accidentally leading him on, but her excitement about their future was hard to suppress.

“Good,” she informed him, biting back a grin. “And happy. Very satisfied and incredibly proud to be the wife of the best footballer in all of England.”

She felt Jamie’s chest shake as he chuckled at her claim and stretched down to press his lips against hers.

“Glad to hear that,” he murmured. “D’you wanna talk about what happened?”

“Talk about it? Why?” Lia furrowed her brow, suddenly worried that she’d come on a little too strong. “How’re you feeling about it?”

“Good, yeah,” he rushed to assure her. “Just wasn’t expecting it is all, thought maybe we should talk about it.”

A wave of embarrassment hit her, slightly dampening her spirits as she thought back to how out of character her actions had been. She hadn’t expected too many follow up questions after the fact  - assuming that he’d just be so grateful it happened that he wouldn’t bring it up - and she felt her cheeks go red as she let out a nervous giggle.

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” she insisted. “It’s not a football match, Jamie. We don’t need to debrief after and talk about what went well or what we could do differently.”

She’d meant it as a joke and was surprised when Jamie simply shrugged in response.

“Don’t have to, but we should,” he countered. “I wanna know what you’re into and what you like and I’ve got some questions.”

It was a surprisingly mature response and had Lia feeling sheepish and silly as she knew that he was right. Her lack of experience made her far less comfortable talking about sex than Jamie probably was, but she didn’t want Jamie to think she was childish and naïve.

“Oh,” she murmured, nervously biting the inside of her lip. “We can talk about it if you want to. What questions do you have?”

She’d tried to sound nonchalant, but she watched him anxiously even as he lazily traced his hand up and down her back and flashed her a smirk.

“Well, first of all, I didn’t expect you to be so completely bare.”

Lia felt her face heat up so much that she was surprised her cheek wasn’t burning his skin where it rested against his chest.

“That’s not a question.”

“Do you always shave?”

His correction did little to ease Lia’s embarrassment as she found herself wondering which answer he wanted to hear, but then she realized that that was exactly the point of the conversation. Instead of spending months trying to guess Jamie’s preferences, he was trying to create a space where they could openly talk about it and he’d given her no reason to assume he would be judgmental in any way.

“Not always,” she admitted. “Sometimes I do and I always keep it tidy, but I thought you’d probably prefer it that way.”

“What? Why?” At first, the mild hint of disgust in his voice had Lia thinking she’d made the wrong assumption, but when he continued without even waiting for her to answer she felt herself relax. “I don’t care what you do, just want you to be comfortable.”

“I just thought it’s what you’d be used to,” Lia explained. “Since you mostly date models and all those types of fit women.”

“So? You’re fit too, whether you have hair or not.”

His words had a smile sliding onto Lia’s face, but as she pressed a kiss against his bare chest, she was reminded of a comment he’d made one day that suddenly seemed relevant.

“You wax your chest, don’t you?” She asked, waiting for him to nod before she continued. “Well, you don’t have to do that if it’s for my benefit, I don’t care if you’re hairy either.”

“Nah, it’s more for football,” he informed her. “Makes me more aerodynamic.”

“Does it?” Lia raised an eyebrow. “But you’re always wearing a shirt when you play and the only part of your body that’s usually exposed are your unwaxed legs.”

“Can’t explain it, but it’s science.” Jamie’s words were said with a shrug and while Lia wasn't entirely convinced, she simply rolled her eyes with a smile as a silence settled between them until Jamie spoke again. “I’ve got another question for you too.”

“What?”

“Do you always like to take charge like that?”

Lia’s embarrassment came flooding back as the memory of the way she’d boldly barged in on his shower came back to her. The way she’d dropped her bathrobe and stood there completely naked. The way she’d started kissing him, touching him. It was all so out of character for her that it made her cringe as her cheeks burned once again.

“No,” she murmured before stating more confidently, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Oh, c’mon,” Jamie chuckled. “If you’re a bit of a dominatrix then I could be into that, there’s no shame.”

“I’m not.” The words came out more forcefully than Lia had intended and she turned her chin to look up at him as she found the courage to explain. “It’s usually the opposite actually. I prefer being a little more out of control…”

A noise like a growl rattle through Jamie’s chest until suddenly - almost before Lia even realized it was happening - she was laying flat on her back with Jamie hovering above her, a cheeky glint in his eye.

“You like being told what to do?”

“No, that’s not what I…” The protest fell from Lia’s lips almost on instinct, but she trailed off as she realized what an obvious lie it was. She couldn’t deny how her body was responding to him - her legs naturally parting for his hips to rest between, the slight uptick in her heart rate, the tingle down her spine that left a pool of heat low in her stomach - she knew there was no point in trying to deny it and he did seem to be asking out of genuine curiosity and not a desire to mock her so she let out a shaky breath before she quietly admitted, “Yes, I do. I like it when the man I’m with takes charge.”

“Hmm,” Jamie smirked, dipping his lips to hover just above hers. “That’s very good to know.”

Without giving her the time to answer, Jamie captured her lips in a kiss. It was just as passionate as it had been the night before and another flush of heat washed over her as her body remembered just how satisfying that passion could be, but no matter how tempting Jamie’s talented lips were, Lia kept firm in her desire to take things slow.

And she appreciated that despite her conflicting desire for him to take charge and tell her what to do, Jamie was perfectly respectful, letting things naturally cool off before she even reached a point where she felt she had to say no.

——

Despite Jamie’s uncharacteristic restraint, Lia’s bold seduction had clearly pushed their connection to a different level and the tension between them had elevated from simmering to boiling hot. 

Jamie’s need for physical affection had grown even more intense and Lia felt like her will-power was almost constantly being tested - especially when Jamie’s break from football gave him ample time to show his skill as a doting boyfriend. He made an effort to join her at the bookstore almost every day for lunch and would swing by just before closing to help her tidy up and drive her home. He’d had dinner waiting for her most evenings and even started learning how to cook when she assured him that the gesture was sweet, but she didn’t want to eat take out every single day. And he showered her with genuine, heartfelt compliments that made her feel more cared for and appreciated than she had in as long as she could remember.

If the world could see the Jamie that she was getting to know then there would have been no need for any kind of PR relationship in the first place.

In the weeks after the match - the first few of Jamie’s summer break from the football season - they fell into a nice routine that had Lia’s heart feeling very full. However, as usual, as they headed into July the weather had Lia also feeling very overheated.

Lia loved winter. She loved sweater weather, cozy blankets, reading nooks full of soft pillows, thick socks and warm tea. Even though most people in England complained about the constant grey and the endless rain, Lia loved it all. And in contrast to that, she found even the mildest temperatures of the muggy British summer to be too hot. Warm temperatures were best saved for holidays in her opinion so to say that she was cranky when the yearly heatwave struck London at the start of July would be an understatement.

She was incredibly grateful for the fact that Jamie had the sense to buy a house with air conditioning - a rarity in London - and was loath to leave it. The moment she stepped into the stifling bookstore, she began cursing whoever decided it was smart to design buildings to trap heat and all the ruthless, money hungry companies that were destroying the environment and escalating climate change. The high temperatures kept most customers away anyway as most people weren’t venturing very far or were sticking to air conditioned shopping centres so after a few long hours of Lia’s constant whining, her dad gave her a reprieve and sent her home. She was mostly working on admin tasks that day anyway - sending off a few orders for customers and following up on ones that had been delayed - so it was nothing that she couldn’t do from a laptop in the comfort of her reasonably temperatured home and she immediately accepted his offer of a shorter day before he could change his mind.

Almost as soon as she walked through the door, she began stripping off her clothes. Jamie was out at the gym with Isaac, but even if he’d been home she doubted that she would have cared. The sticky, filthy layer of sweat that seemed impossible to escape from was driving her mad and even with the immediate relief of the cold air in the house, Lia was desperate to be wearing as little as she needed to. She slipped off her shorts and pulled her damp t-shirt over her head before unhooking her bra and sighing with relief at the sensation of being free from the tight garment that had felt like it was just trapping in the heat even more.

After slipping one of Jamie’s shirts over her head, she settled on the couch wearing almost nothing else with her laptop on her lap as she dove into her work. In her refreshed and relaxed state, she found herself feeling much more productive and almost an hour later she was still completely engrossed in her work. So engrossed that she didn’t hear the door open when Jamie got home or hear him walking into the room when she got up to grab something from her bag. However, she did hear the growl he let out when he was greeted with the sight of her bent at the waist wearing one of his shirts that did very little to hide the thin underwear peeking out from under the hem.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he groaned. “What a sight, babe.”

Immediately, Lia snapped back up to standing as she instinctively pulled the shirt down to cover herself up. Her cheeks burned and she found herself stumbling over her words until she eventually managed to blurt out a coherent sentence.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in…”

“Don’t be sorry, love,” he smirked, moving across the room towards her. “I should be thanking you.”

Lia rolled her eyes at his teasing, but she didn’t resist as he slid his arms around her waist and pulled her body against his. He was sweaty and warm from walking home in the sun, but suddenly Lia didn’t find that so repulsive.

“It wasn’t deliberate,” she informed him, letting her arms drape over his shoulders. “I was working, I wasn’t trying to be seductive.”

“Oh, really? Well you could’ve fooled me with the way you’re lounging around the house wearing nothing but one of my shirts and looking incredibly fuckin’ sexy.”

“I didn’t think this outfit was sexy, this shirt is longer on me than some dresses I own.”

“Yeah, but it’s mine and that makes it sexy. That, and the fact that you have barely anything underneath it.” 

A quick glance down told Lia exactly how he knew that as her nipples were clearly straining against the fabric. Another flush filled her cheeks at the sight, but before she could blame the cool air of the air conditioning or the contrast of the warmth of his hands on her waist, Jamie distracted her by dipping his head and pressing his lips against the pulse point of her neck. The sensation had shivers trickling down her spine and all thoughts of protest were pushed from her mind as one of her hands slid up to his hair, the feeling of his soft locks between her fingers only making her knees feel even weaker.

“Jamie…”

His name fell from her lips as barely more than a whimper after a few moments of enjoying the feel of his mouth against her neck. She felt him pause - almost hesitate - as she caught his attention before he dragged his teeth gently across her skin, nipping her gently.

“Yeah, babe?” He asked as he rested his head on her shoulder, close enough that she could feel his warm breath as he spoke. “D’you want me to stop?”

His voice was sincere and his question was fairly nonchalant, but something about it had a new feeling fluttering through Lia’s stomach. With his constant respect for her, his willingness to follow her boundaries, and his incredible patience as she stuck to her desire to take things slow, he’d proven to her time and time again that he wasn’t just looking for a fun fling before tossing her aside and the wave of affection that washed over her helped to push all her worries and insecurities aside as she realized that she was ready for more.

“No,” she said firmly, despite the shake in her voice. “I don’t want you to stop at all, ever.”

It wasn’t the most poetic way to get her point across, but the way Jamie’s head snapped up told her that he’d understood what she was trying to imply.

“You serious?” His wide eyes searched hers as if he was waiting for her to crack and burst out laughing, but when she bit her lip and nodded slowly, a smirk slid onto his face. “Well, I’m not sure even I have the stamina to go forever, but I’ll give it my best shot.”

His assurance had Lia letting out a giggle, but she was quickly silenced by Jamie capturing her lips with his own. There was a franticness to his movements - a desperation that had Lia wondering if he thought she might change her mind at any moment - but the ever present passion never failed to have her melting against him. There wasn’t much in life that Jamie Tartt would half-ass and Lia had quickly learned that kissing was certainly not one of those things. The thought had her mind wandering to how that would extend to other romantic endeavours and she let out a whimper of anticipation that only seemed to encourage Jamie even more. With surprising ease, he let his hands slide down to the tops of her thighs and lifted her until she was settled with her legs wrapped tightly around her waist. She found herself momentarily distracted by his show of strength, but pulled her lips away from his when he started walking across the room.

“Where are we going?”

Her words came out breathless and panting, but Jamie’s curt reply of “upstairs” told her that he was feeling the strain as well.

“I can walk,” she insisted, despite the way her body craved the closeness they currently had. “You’re too valuable to risk breaking your knee when you fall down the stairs trying to carry me.”

“Not gonna fall,” Jamie smirked as the movement of him stepping up the stairs jostled her against him and earned a gasp from her lips. “You’re tiny, hardly weigh anything at all.”

The claim had Lia letting out a scoff, but she kept any self-deprecating arguments to herself and let herself enjoy the feel of Jamie’s tensed and bulging biceps as he took her up to his bedroom. Once they were safely away from the staircase and Lia’s worries of causing a catastrophic injury had eased, she indulged in the position they were in as her lips found his neck the way his had been on hers only moments earlier. She felt his chest rumble as he growled at the sensation, but Lia barely had time to savour the upper hand that she’d taken before she was practically wrenched away from Jamie as he dropped her onto the bed.

Her heart sank immediately as her body reacted to the lack of contact between them and she heard Jamie chuckle as he pulled his shirt over his head and looked down at her.

“Don’t pout, love,” he teased, making her pull back her bottom lip that she hadn’t even realized had popped out. “I’ll be right there.”

True to his word, Jamie knelt on the edge of the bed as soon as his shirt was discarded and Lia reached for him as he crawled up the bed towards her, embarrassed by the whine of impatience that left her lips. The need she had for him was almost overwhelming, as if now that she’d decided what she wanted, she couldn’t wait another moment to have it. Luckily, Jamie’s enthusiasm seemed to match her own which she could see from the way that the baggy shorts he was wearing did little to hide the bulge growing beneath them. 

However, she found herself feeling disappointed when Jamie stopped about halfway up her body. His hands traced a trail of goosebumps on her skin as they slid under her shirt, lifting it out of his way and the kisses he placed on the newly exposed skin of her stomach had shivers racing up her spine, but she wanted him higher. She wanted to feel the weight of his body, she wanted to feel his skin against hers and his lips on her lips again. She wanted to feel him sliding inside her as they finally shared that deep connection, but Jamie resisted when she tried to grab his hands and pull him up higher.

“Just wait, gotta get you warmed up first…”

It was another idea that had her arousal growing, but as Jamie’s fingers dipped into the top of her underwear to pull them down, the excitement shifted into panic as she realized what he was planning to do.

“Jamie, no,” she gasped, pressing her hips into the mattress to stop him. “I was sweating all morning and I haven’t showered.”

“So?”

The look on Jamie’s face was one of complete confusion and Lia cringed as she was forced to elaborate.

“So, I’m sweaty and gross,” she explained, her cheeks burning as she added, “You probably don’t want to put your face down there right now.”

“Uh, yeah, I do,” he insisted, looking at her like she was completely insane. “I’ve been wanting to put my face down there since you barged in on my shower. It’s gonna take more than a little sweat to stop me now.”

“Are you sure?”

Jamie slid down, pushing her legs apart and settling between them to press a kiss against her thigh before he answered.

“Absolutely.”

Biting her lip and nodding her head, Lia tried to push her insecurities out of her mind and it didn’t take long for any doubts to disappear entirely. As soon as Jamie had her underwear out his way and his mouth was pressed against her, Lia’s thoughts were filled with nothing but pleasure. She knew Jamie was quite experienced and she’d seen his talents first hand the evening they’d spent together in the shower, but his skills with his tongue surpassed even that experience.

It took him a moment or two to figure out what she needed, but as he spread her open to increase his access, he followed the cues of her reactions until he’d found the perfect combination of pressure and friction with his tongue against her sensitive bundle of nerves to have her writhing underneath him. Her hands darted back down to his hair, gripping tightly enough to have him moaning against her and the vibration had her hips twitching up towards him encouragingly, but Lia let out a gasp of frustration when he pulled away and shifted so his hand could move to pin down her hips.

“Gotta be patient, babe,” he instructed. “You’re gonna pull my hair right out if you keep tugging on it like that.”

Feeling a flash of confidence, Lia flashed him a smirk of her own.

“You love it.”

Her observation earned a chuckle from Jamie, but the feeling of his breath against her earned a twitch and a gasp from Lia.

“I do and I like getting a reaction out of you.” He followed up his statement by blowing out another breath against her, making her squirm and gasp again. “You’re so sensitive.”

“Y-yeah, because you’ve got me so wound up.”

Her voice shook from the strain and while she was about to offer to start begging for Jamie to return his attention to what he was previously doing, he didn’t make her wait any longer. The relief had her head falling back against the pillow as pleasure washed over her. She bit her lip in an attempt to control the sounds that she was desperately fighting back, but a pinch to her hip from Jamie caught her attention again.

“Let it out,” he demanded. “Wanna hear you.”

His tongue dipped back between her wet folds and she fulfilled his request as the sounds he managed to pull from her echoed around the room. He lapped at her with such expert precision and perfect pressure that it took just a few short minutes for her to feel the warm heat begin to build in the pit of her stomach as she raced towards her peak. Clearly sensing her mounting release, Jamie kept his pace steady with a focused determination that Lia had only seen him display on the pitch until he had her hovering on the edge of completely falling apart. Her chest heaved and her heart raced as she let out a cry of pleasure and gripped the sheets so tightly that she worried for moment that she might have actually ripped them before she felt herself fall into ecstasy and suddenly she couldn’t think of anything, but the feeling of Jamie’s mouth and the way she was quivering under his touch as he coaxed her through her release. 

As she slowly came down from her high and started to regain her senses, she felt Jamie slip away, but in her dizzy state, she couldn’t muster the energy to do anything but bat her eyes open and enjoy the sight of him ridding himself of the shorts he’d been wearing. He was gifted in more ways than one and the sight of him - hard and ready for her - had another wave of want flooding through her already satisfied body.

“You’re so fit…” The words fell from Lia’s mouth before she could stop them as if he had her drunk on desire. “Sorry, I don’t think I meant to say that out loud.”

“It’s fine,” Jamie assured as he strutted back towards the bed, looking a little prouder after her compliment. He crawled back up the bed and to Lia’s relief, he didn’t stop until his body covered hers and his hips were resting between her thighs. “You’re pretty fuckin’ fit too, could watch you come undone like that for hours and never get tired of seeing it.”

It was an idea that had a shiver of anticipation running down Lia’s spine. Spending countless hours wrapped up in bed with him, at his mercy as he brought her wave after wave of pleasure was entirely too tempting, but as the fog of her orgasm began to clear, she was eager to return the favour.

“Think you can make it happen again?” She tried to spur him on as she pressed her hips up against his. “I want you so bad, Jamie.”

She heard him swear under his breath as he closed his eyes tightly like he was trying to hold himself together and she revelled in the knowledge that he was as desperate as she was. She let her hands slide up over his back, exploring every inch of his body that she could reach as he gently rocked against her and gathered his thoughts before he glanced back down towards her.

“You sure about this?”

“Yes,” her answer was quick and firm and she hoped it would ease any doubts, but just to be safe she added a rather needy, “ Please .”

Her pleading had a smile sliding onto Jamie’s face before he dipped his head to capture her mouth in another kiss. The faint taste of herself on his lips only added to Lia’s arousal and she hooked her leg over his hip as she tried to urge him closer and get what she needed, but she was disappointed again when Jamie moved away.

“What are you doing?”

She could hear her whiny tone, but she was constantly amazed with Jamie’s restraint especially when she could feel him pressed against her, hard and throbbing.

“Getting a condom.” She heard him open the drawer of his bedside table and felt silly for letting the element of protection completely slip her mind so she waited patiently, biting back any more demands for urgency. When Jamie was ready, she felt him pressing against her again before he paused. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” Lia nodded, feeling a flicker of nerves. “Just go slow, okay? It’s been a while for me and you’re so big.”

The boost to his ego had him twitching against her as a smirk slid onto his face, but he listened to her words as he moved his hips forward and pressed into her inch by inch. The burn of the initial stretch had her sucking in a sharp breath, but his efforts to get her warmed up had been very successful and by the time he was fully inside her, the sting had subsided and she felt nothing but pleasure.

“You good?” He questioned with a quiver to his voice that told Lia just how much self-control he was currently using even before he added a strained, “You’re so fuckin’ tight.”

“Because you’re so big,” she gasped. “It feels so good, Jamie. Please, fuck me.”

Jamie didn’t need to be told twice as he slowly withdrew before pressing his hips forward again. He started off cautiously and the care he was taking had Lia’s heart fluttering in her chest, but the need for more quickly took over. Rocking her hips up to meet his thrusts, she silently encouraged him to increase the pace until they settled into a steady rhythm that almost took Lia’s breath away. The way he stretched her so perfectly, the way it felt like he was hitting every nerve exactly where she needed him, the friction of his skin against her every time he pressed all the way inside of her. It all had Lia’s already sensitive body quickly rising to another peak. 

And when he buried his head against her neck to nip and suck on her skin as he murmured soft words of encouragement into her ear, the intimacy of the moment only heightened the sensations she was feeling. Her senses felt entirely overwhelmed, as if nothing other than Jamie and the way he was touching her so deeply even existed in that moment and she clung to him to pull him even tighter against her chest.

His name fell from her lips in a whimpered plea as she felt the tension coiling in her stomach once again and he groaned in response before shifting his hips and picking up the pace. The slight change in angle had him hitting places that Lia wasn’t even sure she knew existed, opening her up to a whole new world of satisfaction as his breath puffing against her skin with every thrust sent shivers down her spine. She tried to warn him of her impending release, but it seemed to be rising too fast for her brain to keep up and as Jamie let out a soft moan of his own, she felt herself falling over the edge.

With a cry of pleasure, her body tensed and her nails dug into his back as she felt herself clench and quiver around him. His movements stuttered slightly as he cursed and panted into her neck, but he quickly recovered and worked her through her high. However, his thrusts grew sloppy and frantic as he chased a release of his own and it took barely a few extra thrusts for him to fall apart as well.

They stayed connected for a moment as they both fought to catch their breath until Jamie found the strength to roll over and lay beside her. Despite the air conditioning, there was a fine layer of sweat covering his chest, but once the condom was discarded in the rubbish bin beside the bed, Lia eagerly cuddled into his side. As the desperation of her desire was sated for the time being, she felt a need of a different kind creeping up her spine. There was a vulnerability to what they’d just shared and while Lia had no regrets about finally opening up to Jamie in that way, it had her insecurities rearing their ugly head. She tried to force them down and enjoy the quiet aftermath of what they’d just experienced, but Jamie was more astute than she gave him credit for.

“You alright?” He asked, peering down at her as hand rested on her lower back, pulling her closer against him. “I can feel your heart beating through your chest.”

“I’m fine…” The words were mumbled as she debated whether or not her honesty would ruin the moment, but she quickly decided to give him the chance to ease her worries. “Just feels like a big line we just crossed, guess I’m just hoping it doesn’t change anything.”

“Doesn’t change anything for me,” he assured her, pressing his lips to the top of her head. “Other than making me feel very fuckin’ grateful that my girlfriend is smart, gorgeous and amazing in bed.”

His words had a giggle falling from Lia’s lips, but her heart swelled at the sincerity in his voice.

“I’m feeling pretty lucky too,” she agreed. “And not that your ego needs any extra encouragement, but I’m starting to see why you’re so cocky. It seems like you do have quite a wide range of talents.”

“Thanks, babe,” Jamie chuckled. “But next time I’d like to be a little more thorough. Didn’t even get your shirt off this time and that is a real shame.”

“Patience isn’t my strong suit…”

“I noticed,” Jamie teased her. “But if you give me a few minutes to recover then we can spend the rest of the afternoon working on that.”

His hand dipped lower to squeeze her bum, but as tempting as his offer was, Lia was forced to politely decline.

“I can’t,” she reluctantly informed him. “I have to get back to work. I came home to take advantage of our wonderful air conditioning, but I’m technically still on the clock.”

“I wondered why you were home so early, but you work too hard anyway. I think you’ve earned an afternoon off.”

Jamie’s wandering hands were making it hard to resist, but Lia quickly dragged herself off the bed and away from his touch despite the whine of protest that followed.

“You’re probably right, but unfortunately my dad would disagree and I don’t think he’d be particularly understanding of me calling in sick to spend the afternoon in orgasmic bliss with you.”

The thought had Jamie cringing and she giggled at the look on his face as she leaned down to steal one more kiss before she hurried off to the bathroom, enjoying the way the soreness growing between her thighs would be a constant reminder of the moment they’d just shared.

[ahundredtimesover]

Hi Mimi! I have been an avid fan of your work since forever (probably 2022?) The way you write and express these characters through your words will always amaze me. You just get better and better. I love the way you write that I have a whole list dedicated to some of my favourite quotes of yours that I’ve found in your stories 🥺. (I’ve had the list since 2022) The first ever story I read was This Is How We Break, and let me just tell you that I’ve cried about this AU so many times it’s actually crazy. The angst. The vibes. Everything! Will we ever get a Part 2? Or something a little small because I need to know how this couple is doing! Anyways, continue being the best in what you do, I’m a little shy so I will be posting this anonymously (I don’t have a kapal face haha) Thank you for bringing these amazing stories come to life and good luck! I will be waiting patiently for IWYTS updates! 🩷☺️

U WILL NOT HAVE A KAPAL FACE, ANON! 😩😩 But I get it and I still appreciate you! Thank you for being here early on. And for having a list?? Girlll kilig aq. Mind sharing some of those quotes?? ☺️☺️ I absolutely love knowing which lines resonate with readers!

I'll always say that This is How We Break has a certain kind of (very realistic) heartbreak bc what's more heartbreaking than a breakup between two people who’ve grown out of love with each other?? I've said before it's like my hypothetical breakup, which is why I let them live in my head in moments, like that cafe meetup and the first apartment visit and the lakehouse trip. They're just happy together in my mind, going on trips while JK films and posts them on GCF, both of them enjoying their careers and being each other's number one fans (where JK does the promo materials for OC's freelance design gigs and they're just cutesy happy horny together). 😍😍

But yeah, I never really planned on writing a chapter or a bonus (but who know when I reread!) But just thank you for loving that story. It's so precious and personal and it means a lot that you keep it in your heart as well. 💕💕

I hope you're well and keeping yourself hydrated (if ur in the PH bc why tf is it 44 degrees over there??) 🧊🧊

[issybettyx]

I’m gonna infodump and ramble about dsmp lore because i’ve just watched all the sad-ist animatics and my brain is making me wanna scream about it

— // spoilers for dsmp, may be dark themes, some content may be triggering for certain readers. Everything is c! , unless otherwise specified

I’m gonna start my ramble with c!technoblade, because in my opinion his character is severely misjudged in several situations. I encourage discussion over this, but also someone got extremely angry at me once over this so as stupid as this is gonna sound please respect my thoughts please and thank you x

Techno joins the game to help out his friends, Tommy and Wilbur, in taking down a government that wronged them.

Reasons he did this:

1. To help his friends when they were in need of a power he held

2. To see the fall of a government - anarchy

3. Knowing him he probably had nothing else better to do

Just him joining the server shows his motives, his beliefs, and his relationships with other characters. He cares about his friends to put his life on the line, and canonically his citizenship in one of the only proper countries.

My man literally said “my friends are in need i’m gonna go help them :D”

And then, he told them his beliefs. He said how he was against government overall and wanted to take the government down, and wilbur and tommy went ‘yep great cool we can work with that’. So, Techno spent days upon days farming potatoes, grinding for netherite and potions and tnt and so so many things to help them take over the most powerful people on the server. Techno spent so much time on these people, he helped them take down the opposition in the war of manberg vs pogtopia.

And then they put a new president in power.

Wilbur and Tommy knew this directly opposed their most powerful ally’s only condition for his help, and Tommy was surprised when Techno betrayed them. Bestie, wake up, you literally betrayed him, ily but also- should’ve expected it.

Anyways, Techno’s like ‘literally everyone hates me, so ima run away to the snow to make them happier and i also can’t be arsed with government i’m gonna live alone in the snow’ and they go ‘hahahah no we’re the butcher army formed to unalive you’ and literally blackmail this man.

Did Techno kinda kill a bunch of people and spawn two withers? Yes. Does he deserve some kind of punishment? Probably. But if he’s literally left your country for the better of you and you actively seek him out to take his life? Yeah that’s not very cool of you man

Oh and not to mention they put his mate on house arrest and stole his things just to unalive him, that also wasn’t very cool.

What was cool however was Techno being an absolute badass and escaping with all three lives anyways. That man was literally in the worst position being blackmailed after trying to be peaceful and still got out alive. Then quackity got stabbed in the face with an axe, which was lowkey deserved seeing as he was holding Carl captive, like don’t bring animals into it what did they ever do to you? The pet war was enough pet stress thank youuuuu

After that was the exile stuff wasn’t it? Tommy’s just escaped from a toxic environment after an attempt on his life seeking refuge in his old friend’s home.

Now, this part is something that I absolutely love about Techno’s character.

Before this point, Techno had been wronged by Tommy. Tommy had gone against him, betrayed him, got mad at him for taking Tubbo’s life despite him not exactly having an option. Techno had no reason to let him stay. Not to mention Tommy hardly asked, he kind of broke in, stole his things and demanded it be his home and tried to kick Techno out.

And you know what Techno did? He offered protection, he offered help, he offered his home and he offered to be Tommy’s friend.

Despite literally everything he still went ‘sure tommy you can stay, and i’ll even help you get your discs back!’

And, omg, when he opened the door to the room with the wither skulls and said ‘no body’s seen this, not even phil’. Oh my goodness, shivers. Techno and Phil are like closest besties, Techno would trust Phil with his life, and he still trusts Tommy to see his hard work before anyone else.

Some would say it was a threat, Techno seeing the threat on this wanted exiled child staying under his roof and wanting to send a message to him to not even try and threaten him or his friends. Like for example when Tommy took Antfrost hostage and made him mine, tried to take Techno hostage and immediately backed off with the threat; Tommy knows how powerful Techno truly is, he couldn’t mess with him.

Personally, I would say it’s quite the opposite. It’s a way for Techno to say ‘i trust you, i’ll protect you no matter the cost’. Maybe that’s just my bedrockbros fluff loving brain, but remember when Tommy and Techno were surrounded by the server and Tommy decided to join them instead of stand beside Techno? And Techno said something along the lines of ‘i’ll fight them all off, you run’. He was literally willing to risk everything to get Tommy away safe, he was worried for him and was going to sacrifice his life.

And after everything Techno did for Tommy, he went back to the people who hurt him and away from the one person who’d offered him protection no matter how much he hurt him in the past.

And that fact, that Techno was going to sacrifice everything for a kid who cared little for him at all, hurts me way more than it should for minecraft roleplay.

I’m gonna be honest and say I have no clue what happened between then and Doomsday. Genuinely, I have zero clue, so I’m gonna watch some vods tonight of between then and doomsday to see how in hells name they got from tommy rejoining new l’manberg and techno, phil and dream blowing up new l’manberg and making it into l’manhole.

Anyways, this is the only part of c!technoblade that i just sit and wonder why he did that.

I’m assuming he was angry at them, angry at the butcher army for trying to unalive him and for putting phil on house arrest. He once said how if someone showed him kindness he would repay it tenfold, but if someone caused harm to his friends they would be absolutely fucked (not his words). They threatened Phil, and therefore they paid for it.

Do i agree with his reasoning? Not really no, but I can see where he was coming from. Spite is a powerful motivator.

His other part of reasoning would be the concept of anarchy, of taking down the government that was telling people what they should do. To be on Tubbo’s side here is literally the only right thing, as much as i love c!techno, Tubbo tried his best to protect his people and build a safe country, similar to early l’manberg but with a significant lack of dictators and discrimination. New L’Manberg was, all in all, a welcoming country, and Tubbo made sure of that.

And then, boom.

Literally it was all blown up.

After doomsday, not much happened for a while really. They just kinda chilled.

Then, you know what was formed? The absolutely awesome and infamous Syndicate, an anarchy group that is so incredible they did nothing but sound awesome. The Syndicate are literally my favourite people ever.

Boom Dream’s in prison, Quackity tricks Techno into going in, locks him in, Techno being absolutely awesome goes ‘how can i make the most of this? I know: gain knowledge’

So that’s what he does, forcing dream to write books on books of everything he knows before finally getting teleported out.

Now, for those who don’t know, Techno owed Dream a favour. Remember how i said Techno got his life threatened by the butcher army and got his horse Carl stolen? Yeah Dream kinda helped him get Carl back, smart move on his end, and made him indebted to Dream. So, Techno kind of had to get Dream out, and also got Ranboo out in the process? We never found out why Ranboo wanted to go into the prison so bad, I have a feeling it was his enderwalking or something but whatever.

Guess who dies? Ranboo. Jeez that was forever ago wasn’t it? Poor Tubbo he deserved so much better.

Then after that it was THE REVENGERS. The best trio ever who literally no one expected;

A traitor, an anarchist and an ex-president.

All joined together to save Michael the beloved, and to be horrible to Sam who literally let a prisoner, albeit a terrible person, be tortured and trap an almost but also kind of not innocent person inside with him (Techno did bad things but not bad enough to be in the main cell of Pandora’s Vault, that place was meant for someone as horrible as c!dream).

The Revengers was definitely one of my favourite streams; three people who are meant to hate each other putting aside their differences for one common goal, and coming out civil. I think it was pretty awesome, character development my beloved.

And that was basically c!techno. In summary, he was caring, protective of his friends, stuck to his beliefs, stuck to his word, strong, and he was able to put aside his emotions for the better of others on several occasions.

C!technoblade is one of my favourite characters, he was developed amazingly, his humour was fantastic. Everything he did for tommy and wilbur was more than he should’ve, he put his all into making sure others were okay even when he hated them. Did he blow up a few people and a few countries? Maybe. But he was awesome, and i find people misunderstand him a lot.

I could talk about c!technoblade for ages and not get bored, he’s so interesting and I could study his every action and continue to say how awesome he is, but we must move forward onto my next favourite character:

C!Wilbur.

Now, the difference between c!techno and c!wilbur is the fact that most of c!techno’s things i picked out were unintentional, whereas c!wilbur was so thoughtfully created and shaped into this selfish lying character.

Wilbur joined and immediately made a drug van, dragging Tommy with him. This drug van was developed into L’manberg, and Wilbur took his role as president seriously, fighting for his country’s independence. But you know who finally gained them independence after several walls and wars? A child who was dragged into the entire thing by his big brother, a child who gave up two of the most important things to him to give his older brother what he wanted most.

L’manberg gained independence, but Wilbur knew he was a dictator. Now, this, in my opinion, is the first time we see the real c!wilbur.

Wilbur says “let’s run an election but make me the only running candidate”, his first proof of manipulative nature that sends his country into literal ruins (butterfly effect is certainly something). Obviously, people are against this, especially Quackity who was rejected citizenship because he wasn’t european. Quackity was angry at Wilbur, and knew the best way to piss him off would be to take away what he built from the ground up.

Wilbur’s like ‘well fuck I gotta play this off’, which is his first time actively lying.

Election in summary: POG2020 (wilbur) gets 45% of the overall votes. SWAG2020 (quackity) loses. But, Schlatt had formed his own government (SCHLATT2020) and formed a coalition government with SWAG2020, together gaining 46% of the vote. Coconut2020 (fundy) gained the other 9%.

Wilbur and Tommy were exiled, Technoblade joined the server.

Now, exile was not easy on Wilbur.

For a while, he’d been sending letters to Philza, his Dad, and had started lying. Wilbur had wrote how he’d won the election, how he was doing well. Why would he lie? Phil’s his dad right? Philza is a caring character, he would love his son and help his son, why would Wilbur lie?

Well, he’d put all of his effort into building this nation, he probably felt weak admitting that he’d lost everything he’d created, how he’d let down Tommy and he didn’t want to admit that.

This was the start of Wilbur’s drive to insanity.

Exile absolutely destroyed Wilbur. He wanted to feel empowered, he wanted to have control. So, he took advantage of those around him.

What Wilbur truly wanted was his country back (though at the end of exile he felt like he had no choice, he felt like it wasn’t his and he gave it up), and he saw Techno offering his help and took advantage of it.

He saw Tommy willing to do anything for Wilbur, following his steps, wanting to become president because Wilbur was a president. He saw Tommy wanting to be the hero and led him in the revolution, made Tommy feel like he was a part of something bigger than himself. Wilbur was in control of Tommy, and he made sure to take advantage of this, making him feel weaker than he was capable of (“you’re never going to be president, Tommy”) so he would listen to and follow his every word and command.

Manberg vs Pogtopia, they win. But Wilbur’s lost all sense of self; he isn’t the courageous respected man he once was, but a shell of him, and he knows this.

// suicide - ends at next double forward slash (//)

Wilbur gets his country back, and he puts Tommy in charge. A child who had to grow up too fast, a child who’s been under his brother’s arm and also his control without knowing, a child who was exiled aged 16 who was dragged into a horrid world full of death and horror.

Tommy had gone through so much, and so he handed over the country to the person he trusted the most; Tubbo.

Wilbur, meanwhile, leaves, knowing Technoblade will betray them in to go to the button room (i swear it has a name i just don’t remember it), where his father - who in fact he’s been lying to for however long - shows up and stops him. His song is etched into wood on the walls, an example of his identity, of his life’s work, of his love for singing and his entire reasoning for living. And his father shows up, telling him to stop, telling him there’s more to life, that his symphony doesn’t have to be unfinished. (“My l’manberg! Phil! My unfinished symphony forever unfinished!”)

Wilbur feels lost and alone. He’s manipulated his friends and lied to his father (cough cough c!wilbur’s two most distinctive traits cough cough). He knows he isn’t his father’s son anymore, he isn’t the kid who won the election, and this guilt eats him up so much he throws his sword at his father’s feet and orders him to kill him.

The country is blown up at Wilbur’s hand. In English Teacher Terms (ETT^TM), this symbolises him ending his manipulative and lying ways. Everything he built, lost, and got back has been destroyed, and his people stare at him as his father takes his final life.

//

Limbo: Wilbur was stuck in a train station for like 13-14 years.

Ghostbur: everything good about Wilbur. For example, his love for his family. Ghostbur spends a most of his time with Tommy, Techno and Phil. He has friend on a lead, the blue of his wool a symbol for how Wilbur tried to help people but his efforts were completely pointless. Ghostbur gives people some blue wool to rid them of their worries. It’s a childish fantasy, it doesn’t work no matter how much he wishes it would. Alivebur did this a lot, he did things that he thought would help others but it just didn’t, but his want to help was still evident, ghostbur just lacks the manipulative negative side of that.

Revivedbur: he immediately starts a new country, it’s all he knows, a form of comfort after years and years of the same horrid thing over and over and over again. He drags another child with him, Ranboo, and finds nostalgia in Tommy’s presence and controllability. When Wilbur was in limbo, Tommy went through hell and back, and it takes ages for Tommy to admit this, showing the lack of trust he now holds for Wil.

The moment Wilbur realises what Dream did to Tommy in exile, he goes ballistic. Wilbur still cares about Tommy, he still manipulates him and makes him do his bidding, but Tommy is still his brother and he still cares so much for him, so much so he’s willing to unalive his ‘hero’ for him. This shows how much he truly cares for Tommy, but i believe this also makes him come a realisation that his presence around Tommy was negative.

He has this moment of realisation where he goes “this kid has been wronged, i need to protect him- but my presence never truly helped him, maybe he would be better without me?”

So he begins his plan to leave. (To utah which totally isn’t an allegory of death, which totally doesn’t correlate to when he lost his final canon life, i’ll go into that at the end) he realises truly how many people he hurt, and he goes around and apologises to them.

Most people prove his point. Most people, the conversations went a bit like this:

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay I forgive you.”

Proving that people so easily fall at the feet of those powerful enough, or at the feet of those they love most.

Despite being wronged, they still hold their love for Wilbur for all the good things he did.

The only person who didn’t forgive him was his son, Fundy, who’d let his hatred for Wilbur sink in literal years ago when he went against them as coconut 2020 in the l’manberg election. Fundy met the same fate as his father, and it made Wilbur realise that maybe he didn’t deserve a better death than his son had.

But he doesn’t want Tommy to know that.

Now, in Wilbur’s latest stream (qsmp day 1), he said how Utah was an allegory to death. And that got me thinking: why would Wilbur lie to Tommy?

As I said previously, two of C!wilbur’s main traits were manipulation and lying. After he was revived, he led everyone to believe that he was a changed man. After everything, after exile and limbo and the burger van, he said how he’d changed.

But he never really changed, did he?

C!wilbur was an example of someone who, deep down, never truly changed. The things that did change, however, was his motivations.

Wilbur continued to lie. He lied to Tommy about Utah, but he said he was changed didn’t he?

In exile, he lied to protect himself. He lied because he felt weak, he felt angry, and he didn’t want anyone to feel like they had more power than he did, that they knew him better than he did.

As a wise man once said, “If you know thy self, and you know thy enemy, you need not fear the result of a thousand battles.” (Or something like that). Wilbur knew that if his enemy, and even his allies, knew him, they could control him, they could see through him and his lies and his manipulation.

But, after Tommy told him about exile, his motives changed from protecting himself to protecting his loved ones. He wanted to protect Tommy, and throughout his whole life there was one thing he knew best, and that was lying.

// suicide - ends at next two forward slashes (//)

So when Tommy asked if Wilbur was going to unalive himself, he said no. He said he was going to Utah.

This showed he didn’t change in his ways; he didn’t find better ways to deal with things. But his motives changed.

C!wilbur once looked at c!tommy and saw a child full of potential. Before he left for “utah”, he looked at Tommy and saw a child who never got to be. So he protected him from the truth, so that any remaining youth in him could be saved.

As i said before with Techno, i could talk about c!wilbur for ages, i didn’t even talk about ‘the wilbur van’ or ‘healthy competition’ or a more in depth reasoning and symbolism behind ghostbur.

However this post is very long, and i’m very tired, and this has taken me like two hours to write and i haven’t even talked about c!tommy and c!tubbo yet, so that is a job for another day. If you somehow read all this way, i am firstly very proud of you, and secondly i hope you enjoyed my somehow brief infodump about dsmp, because i have been hyperfixed on this server for over two years and I never get to talk about it, so yeah :D

C!technoblade my beloved

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[trollprincess]

Watched the Teen Wolf movie.

… well, that happened.

I read a spoiler-free review a couple of days ago that was like, “You have to have seen the show before to know what’s going on,” but I’ve seen every episode, like, ten times at this point and I was still asking myself what the fuck was going on multiple times.

This feels like something Jeff Davis wrote on a napkin when he got bored and then didn’t edit. Like, it’s one thing to be like “Lydia left Stiles and he’s off ‘fighting his own fires’, whatever the hell that means.” You can’t get Dylan back, you can’t get him back. Whatever. But why the hell is Derek saying so many very, very dim things? That “your eyes!” line is funny, but it makes him sound like they put a Stiles line in his mouth. Melissa and Argent are in multiple scenes together and I literally had to stop myself and try to remember if they even *spoke* to one another. Are they together? Who the fuck knows? “Did you tell your mom?” doesn’t tell me shit. Maybe they are, maybe they’re not. There’s just so, SO much of this.

Addendum: I mean … Adrian? Really? Seriously?! What, did he get picked out of a hat?

Addendum, part two: Does Eli have a personality? He has no mom so he only has Derek who talks to him like he just met Eli yesterday, he’s on the lacrosse team but in Beacon Hills which guys aren’t, he has no friends that we see, all he does is steal Stiles’s jeep. Oh, and he’s got past trauma from seeing Derek wolf out, but JD can’t write people dealing with past trauma to save his life. That ending is hilarious because “teen” and “wolf” are literally the only two things I know about Eli. At all. I mean, he seems very nice, but it’s not enough to make me want to watch a new show about him. At least Scott had Stiles and lacrosse within that first episode.

So much of a two-and-a-half hour movie had me going, “Okay, that could have been written better.”

I said, “Well, that was A Choice,” out loud twice during the movie, which is two times too many.

Okay, I want to preface this by saying it is NOT a criticism. Crystal Reed is 38. She has had a little work done, which there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with. *However*, these actors are all notably older than they were during the show, which makes sense given they AND THEIR CHARACTERS have aged. So are we just handwaving Allison’s aging? I mean, she’s clearly physically *not* a teenager, but is Allison supposed to have come back as one? Okay, fine, we dangled some keys over the Nemeton and now Allison’s back? I just …

The fact that there are at least two characters who are like, “I haven’t used my powers at all in the last fifteen years!” is annoying as balls. I just have a hard time believing that overachiever Lydia is really going to let her banshee abilities slide. I feel like the Lydia I know, over the course of fifteen years, would have been able to send a dart into the bullseye through an open bar door from a block away from absurd amounts of practice. She might not have been fighting monsters the same way she had in high school, but STILL.

Jackson could have not been there and the flimsy plot would have still worked, and yet Colton was enjoying himself immensely in a way everyone but maybe Ian was not. Also, Jackson and Ethan are still together! Awww. Wish we could have gotten two and a half hours of that.

NGL, I laughed when Derek died. It was mostly because I could see the strings. Which I probably shouldn’t be able to, but I could see “well, he’s Superman now and we can’t bring him back for more movies and episodes” tugging that little plot point into position. To be fair, you can’t really have the character walk that plot point into existence when you’re writing him from minute one as if he banged his head off something.

Scott and Allison … just … can we stop for a second and go back to that question of where she’s at when she comes back? Because I feel like we’re going back to the issues with Malia when she returned from being in coyote form for years, except in that instant she lived those years. And it was still problematic for her to be having sex with Stiles and going to regular high school classes. Allison hasn’t been *alive* for fifteen years. She hasn’t even been a CORPSE. She’s been ash in an urn. And now she’s back after dying when she was a teenager, and it’s just back with Scott and everything’s normal? Come on. Come ON.

Meanwhile, Malia and Parrish. I’m fine with that. Provide that man as many fitted uniforms and fireproof underwear as he needs to rip and/or burn off.

I’m mad about Hikari, because I’m sure she’s great, but also it feels like they wrote Kira in and then when Arden wouldn’t do it they erased Kira and drew Hikari in but without giving her much to do as a person instead of a kitsune. (And if she and Liam were together together, then let them be? I don’t fucking know at this point.)

I know this sounds like I didn’t like the movie, and that’s because I didn’t, but also I appreciate it being so badly written because watching badly written things makes me throw things and shout “I can write better than that!”, and in this case I have a first draft inspired by Teen Wolf crossed with Yellowjackets which I can direct my annoyance at.

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

HAI FRIEND

i’ve literally been obsessed w ur megumi smau since like chp. 14 or something LOLL,, i have this thing where i just psychoanalyze characters and ive been thinking a lot about yn like hm…

(THIS MIGHT BE A LUTTLE LONG BTW SO FEEL FREE TO JUST LIKE IGNORE THIS BUT I RLLY WANT TO TALK ABT HER)

like yn (to a lot of people) may be like a little intolerable but honestly i think the reason we have such a reaction to her personality like that is bc we see a little bit of ourselves in her if that makes sense…

PERSONALLY, I AM A YN DEFENDER FOR LIKE THATS MY HOMEGIRL.. like imagine you grew up in a world where soulmates are the basis of your romantic future. the sheer fact that that in itself already builds a sense of you either love your soulmate or hate them in someones head (considering that most of the time,, soulmates are portrayed as; first time you meet, you just know)

yn,, having met megumi long before you brain could have developed a coherent understanding of relationships, and lacking in the sense that when she met megumi,, she didn’t feel sparks like they said she would, obviously, she would categorize those feelings as hate. THATS WHY WHEN MEGUMI SAID “i dont think you really ever hated me either” HIT SO HARD FOR ME I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD…

BASICALLY WHAT IM GETTING AT is the fact that there is so much pressure already due to the fact that soulmates are said to be your other halves, so if you don’t like them, theres immense pressure and insecurity (hence yn’s hostility to the subject of her hating megumi because she has no comprehended idea of why she actually hates him) plus the fact that they met when they were kids and that probably affected the way she saw relationships in the first place EXPLAINS WHY SHE IS SO ADMENT ON BEING INDIFFERENT TO HIMMM

ok… another thing (sorry)..

AS MUCH as i love yn’s friend group,,, THEY LOWKEY PISS ME OFF THE SAME WAY YN PISSES ME OFF HELP..

OK SO,, obviously i’d also get pissed off if my friends get hostile bc i bring something up to want to understand them better, BUT at the same time, i would also have some sympathy 😢😢

LIKE,, their immediate response is to press harder, and try to solve the problem and if youre looking at texts like that thru yn’s eyes, it will prob lowkey feel like your feelings are being invalidated. yn is already confused, probably insecure about her love life, and now having to literally throw up her heart into her hands just for her friends to understand why they feel that way,, like she’s not gnna want to do that no matter how close they are (but maybe thats js me idk…) and then their immediate response to her not wanting to show that side of her is to get pissed off like i’d be mad and sad like yn too :(

i think those are all the points i was thinking sbt but if not im not gnna try to rmbr the rest bc this is alr super long.. BUT I HOPE U ENJOYED MY RANT AND I LOVE UR SMAU AND I LOVE U MUAH I HOPE U HAVE A GREAT DAY

I LOVE U I LOVE U I LOVE U

i absolutely ADOREEEE when people psychoanalyze the characters (mostly only when the analysis is correct tho LMFAOAO autism.) BECAUSE I DO THE SAME THINGGG i kinda have to when i’m doing plot heavy smaus like this to make sure everything fits n there’s the least amount of plot holes possible blah blah blah insert my annoying rambling on how i write

ANYWAY i loved ur analysis u r so amazing n so right ! like i get yn is annoying but lord have mercy so is everyone else that’s the POINTTTTT NO ONE HERE IS ACTUALLY IN THE WRONG OR BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE. EVERYONE HAS THEIR REASONING FOR WHAT THEY DO OR DONT DO!!! ugh sorry okay i’m gonna shut up now i could talk about this forever i fear .

I LOVE UUUU HAVE A GREAT DAYYYY