#i’m too grown to care
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thoughts of @/aifairy?
i think it’s a bit chronically online and weird but to be honest, i don’t really care. i know i don’t use Ai and that account is obviously that bothered to try to expose people but it has nothing to do with me.
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this will never not having me cheesing like an absolute idiot
#it’s just the little nervous smile and nodding to himself to confirm he said the right thing#iceman (repressed): i’m getting an A in maverick-caring :) which is a completely normal thing to aspire for :)#julliard trained val kilmer really popped off here#tfw you just broke through years of repression to tell a man you care for him and now your bestie is slinging him around like a chew toy#this is just me pointing at a grown man and saying oooo you’ve got a crushhh#and the way mavericks smiling at him too!! he didn’t see slider coming!!#genuinely throwing up over them#top gun#icemav#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky
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I know some of us like to pepper Gaelic endearments into our ghostsoap from time to time and I thought hey! Maybe I should finally share my little headcanon as to how Soap even came about knowing the language in the first place:
I like to think that his granny (who raised him and his siblings) was from the Inner Hebrides and grew up using it. She moved to the lowlands after marrying, became a Gaelic-medium teacher. Thus, Soap attended the school she taught at and had a Gaelic-medium education throughout primary. (Gme students are taught completely in Gaelic from p1-p3 with English being incorporated later.) While not continuing it in secondary, he still had a fluent adult at home keeping the language fresh in his mind. That’s. The bare bones of it anyway.
Anyway I wanted to share this because I’ve seen the occasional person say it’s ridiculous to suddenly see him speaking Gaelic in fics (which is a very fair point of course. few people are immersed in it, it remains a threatened language) but the thought of someone who wanted to include it in their work who then might not because of this is disheartening. Should they do the proper research beforehand, it is plausible when given the right ingredients.
It’s a language that should be celebrated, not discouraged, especially given the history. Having a character know it just really depends on the different factors you throw into their backstory. Even if the author doesn’t explain it, it should then be up to the reader to assume he’s not just pulling the language out of thin air. Idk, if call of duty fanfic of all things can expose people to Gàidhlig and garner interest in some to learn a bit of the language, I just. That is a good thing
#john soap mactavish#cod military propaganda but make it cod fanfic Gaelic propaganda#of course it depends on his family too like. if someone had him having grown up in an absusive household like ghost but put into a gme#that would give a bit of pause to the reader bc a arent who doesn’t care likely wouldn’t put their child into an education that requires#more work from them#that being said it’s possible he could’ve learned it from a fluent family member depending on how often he was around them#let us not forget that soap is extremely smart#I guess what I’m trying to say is if you feel like you have to have an explaination this is what I do#by no means am I the authority on Gaelic language I’m still a novice after years of off and on learning but I think exposure when done#correctly is really special and has the potential to interest readers who might’ve otherwise never even heard of the language#my headcanons#anon if youre out there…we’ll it’s not more of ghost’s family hcs but it’s something!
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I think if you convinced Astarion not to ascend, he’s there for the Haarlep encounter, and you fail the CON check (push Haarlep away), he should lose his cool and fire an arrow at Haarlep or something and interrupt Haarlep’s magic, giving you another chance to fight instead. I do think the sex abuse survivor witnessing his friend or lover being coerced into sex would notice when they want to escape and would have something to say about it.
#it’s wild how all of your party members stand there and watch this unfold in silence#baldur's gate 3#bg3#it’s so uncomfortable and humiliating#i couldn’t handle it i had to reload my save and go the fighting route instead#i had lae’zel and shadowheart with me. and i get how they could ig bear this in stoney-faced silence#but i had astarion with me too. and i just do Not believe he’d watch this in silence#not after you’ve helped free him from a life of abuse slavery and noncon#he should protest more than ‘are you sure we can trust [haarlep]’#or maybe even offer to take your/tav’s place#it wouldn’t work of course. haarlep would insist on tav#but it would further show his char development since act 1 and how much he’s grown to care about you/tav#that he’s willing to put himself through that again so you don’t have to#i mean#I’m not the only one who sees parallels between cazador and haarlep#AND astarion and haarlep#right#I’m not the only one who thinks haarlep would Really Bother astarion. right#I’ve heard astarion is sympathetic (the only companion who is) if you lose/surrender your body#but i just think he should also be the one who’s like hey let’s Not let our friend be taken advantage of like this
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Chasm: Curse of Kaine (Vol. 1/2024), #3.
Writer: Steve Foxe; Penciler and Inker: Andrea Broccardo; Colorist: Brian Reber; Letterer: Joe Caramagna
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Chasm: Curse of Kaine#latest release#Scarlet Spider#Kaine#Kaine Parker#Chasm#Ben Reilly#Hallows’ Eve#Janine Godbe#wow…I think this just about perfectly encapsulates why I’ve felt like this miniseries has been ever so slightly off#I mean beggars can’t be too choosey and don’t get me wrong I’m primarily glad somebody remembered Kaine even existed#it also warms my heart to see Kaine growing into a heroic role#(and maybe I’m just being nit-picky over dialogue but hey this is a medium with limited dialogue space so writers have to be specific#in how they want to convey things)#but this contrast is just so wild#at a stretch I can see Kaine stopping to help civilians#he’s grown quite a bit since he started out in Houston…but seeing him so blatantly gung ho about it is a little jarring hahaha#as for Ben…oh Ben…I know they’ve been trying to establish Ben as vaguely despicable ever since this series opened#with him shaking tourists down for loose change but they can never make me believe that’s the real Ben !!!!#so Ben’s decision here is even more jarring hahaha#remember how Ben Reilly: Scarlet Spider ended with Ben despondent and essentially soulless#only for him to be promptly put «back to factory settings» very soon after in a Spider-verse event? I don’t care if it’s lazy#I hope they do something like that again and we have a heroic Ben back hahaha
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I rly don’t see how ppl be 20+ shipping kids anymore tbh… like, it’s so rampant and I don’t see the appeal to it anymore being as tho I’m in my late 20’s.
#I’m grown….. it always baffles me to see it like man I don’t care I don’t find joy in it anymore since I’m not a teenager#I just look at them and think they’re like my fake son… daughter nephew niece whatever lol#give me the struggling and mentally fucked up 20+ year old give me those middle age bitches man if I’m going to like a ship now anyway#like i don’t care about the romance between kids man it sucks that this is such a huge thing in most fandom spaces#not that I participate in said spaces since ppl are annoying and embarrassing#also very nasty#sns is diff tho like that’s a whole other thing 🪽#sns is just a classic it’s legendary it transcends space and time it it-#I’m so glad that jjk is full of adults tho lmfaoo#one of Gege’s only W’s… especially impressive for a shounen#i like jjk outside of the goiji pairings too like I just genuinely enjoy it despite how awful it is now lol#again#I do think that ppl need to learn how to become more comfortable with enjoying media outside of shipping tho#like there’s nothing wrong with it obviously but I’m talking more like how tons of ppl only get into a new series for the sole purpose#of shipping instead of engaging with said media and the story that it’s trying to tell…#this is why fanon and wild insane hc’s usually get out of control too to the point where those who might be interested in checking out#a series might be deterred because they don’t even know what the show is about because the only stuff that ppl see about the thing is ship#stuff and like discourse#and the behavior of the fans…#these ppl be 30+ arguing with teenagers man it’s crazy to me#I just think there needs to be a balance lol#like still go crazy. Have fun and all but you get it#but anyway. with all that being said! Goiji stays winning in my heart 🚶🏾♀️#rambling
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I’m gonna have to start curating my home page to show little to no political news as possible. I come to Tumblr to enjoy beautiful things and that’s how it’s should stay.
#I’m too pretty to be miserable#this is why I don’t have Twitter Reddit or TikTok#I refuse to have my emotional energy DRAINED#by media outrage#I’m too grown for that#yall have fun tho#queue are so beautiful to me#no politics#i don’t care#my thoughts#protect your energy#life is too short
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god Yoshiki really set the bar so low for himself in ch20 and still manages to trip and fall face first every goddamn time.
#He doesn’t have to do anything about it. Or be sad about it. Or care all too much. He only said he wouldn’t ignore it#And he still doesn’t do it 💀#But Yoshiki has grown a lot. Before it took him 6 months to face that hikaru died#now it’s taken him… well he still hasn’t faced it but I’m sure it won’t take him /6 months/. Maybe like 3#the summer hikaru died#hikaru ga shinda natsu#hgsn#hgsn spoilers#my hgsn shit
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So are we emailing Kamala only about Palestine and are the atrocities still happening in Ukraine already old news?
And dont even get me started about current affairs in Bangladesh and several African countries.
bruh this is such a weird message you’re like this tweet
like are you trying to score vindictive moral brownie points or smthn. These are also things people should research and care abt, of course. The reason advocating for Palestine is so pressing to rally around is because we, unlike with Ukraine!!!, are actively funding, arming, and participating in its current destruction and in the killing of thousands and THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE
“Don’t even get me started…”. Bro what are you fucking doing on my tumblr blog mad at me abt this shit. You sound like a stern parent. Go make some noise in the president’s inbox if you actually care about these issues. Do you think I’m fucking Taylor Swift??? It’s a miracle the post I made even gained traction lmfao that was luck of the draw + thanks to a few mutuals I have that have wider audiences.
This reeks of “person who gets told what to do by social media” lmfao like I am literally not stopping you. You don’t need a green light from a random tumblr user to advocate for things you care about. Don’t make me god in your head and then get mad at me when I don’t make up commandments for you??
#star’s asks#I’m sorry I’m not a stand in for research and activism u actually won’t reach divinity by reading a post made by tumblr user starredforlife#y’all need to be grown ups and he capable of caring about these things without someone steering you in that direction#in case you were unaware: there are student protests in bangledesh leading to mass police violence/brutality in response#and these ‘miscellaneous African countries’ (c’mon. like c’mon) are most likely Sudan (civil war) and the Congo (exploitation)#I am trusting you guys with the BREADTH OF THE INTERNET to go research these things and advocate for them too. of course.#but dont fucking wait for me#star’s anons
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2am thoughts got me going crazy but imagine one day Andrew is PISSED idk why but like he’s sulking around the dorm and then Nicky comes in and notices he’s angry and since he was chattering and his brain got ahead of his words he calls Andrew Angrew and loses his shit over it. Andrew is mildly annoyed but it distracts him from what he was actually mad about so he lets Nicky live. Now anytime Andrew appears in the slightest annoyed Nicky calls him angrew and even though andrew claims to hate it, it always makes him feel just a bit better.
#Neil is the first one to find out about this and he pretends it doesn’t affect him but he called Andrew that all the time when their alone#Andrew pretends to hate it but it’s honestly grown on him#Kevin finds out and doesn’t give a shit#Aaron pretends not the care but inside he’s cracking up#when the upperclassmen find out they think it’s hilarious and try to call him it to his face and he almost stabs one of them#but Neil stopped him#they never call him it to his face again but they use it to talk about him occasionally when he’s not there#this doesn’t make any sense and I’m too tired to read what I wrote so enjoy the chaos#aftg#neil josten#andrew minyard#andreil#all for the game#the foxhole court#aftg incorrect quotes#incorrect aftg#matt boyd#aaron minyard#allison reynolds#dan wilds#nicky hemmick#renee walker#the foxes
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one of my best qualities is my ability to simply not care. at a moment in time i’ll care a lot. think about it constantly, obsess over it. play things over in my mind again and again. and as soon as i decide i don’t care anymore… i just don’t.
#I think it’s not even really just my ability to not care but more my ability to just come to a conclusion#even if that conclusion is that there is no conclusion#once i’ve decided i’m done with something i just am and i can never get pulled back in again with the same amount of feeling#it’s accs probably not healthy but i’ve always been able to move on when someone’s wronged me lol cause i dont see it as a personal failure#i just accept it for what it is and move forward or just delete you from my brain altogether#perhaps it’s a conversation for a therapist lol but I wonder if it’s bc I’ve grown to just not expect much from people ?#in a way it makes it easier to forgive people but also easy to leave people behind too#this whole post screams avoidant attachment init loooool
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i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?
can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit
#vaugepostimg on main about an irl don’t mind me#i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to#me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited#still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said they’d lmk what day they were free#and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(it was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which would’ve inherently necessitated an irl talk#and then after all that yesterday said they actually weren’t ready which. hurted#tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so it’s not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt#and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought#that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners#bcus if i care about you i show up! and i’m understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus i’m not tryna rush ever#especially when it comes to people’s emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but#despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict i’m blunt but i’m caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people#or relationships. so i’m not saying i don’t want to still be her friend#i’m just. noticing behaviors#they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them i’m very much not and like. now that i’m on the receiving end of i#idk what to do!! i’m not gonna chase her down like they’re grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space i’m going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. i’m happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they weren’t ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it#so like. who tf knows when we’ll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all#bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting#ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel#discarded?? i’m feeling like i’m failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man i’m just feeling weird about it all#and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not i’m worth#which again. kinda wasn’t expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about#but like? i don’t want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isn’t any!!!#and i can’t deal with that! i can’t spend my life with people who aren’t going to engage with me as a person who cares about them#humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. i’m gonna stop now lol
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It’s not always about not caring! Sometimes it’s honestly just “I don’t have the energy to think about certain things”!!
#ENOUGH#empathy#compassion fatigue#downsides of being an empath#i can’t take it anymore#i want to scream#too many things are exceeding the limitations of my medications!#don’t @ me#nct is my escape#i care about what’s happening but most importantly I care about ME and EYE can not dip over this#if you have a problem block me#it’s not his best move but I’m sure his hands are tied & I wish sm would fucking do something bc I’m SURE after seeing his donations to#other causes dy DOES care there’s a whoooole lotta ppl involved in this dumbass move#it is what it is#yes he’s grown yadda yadda READ WHAT I JUST SAID#I’m TIRED#i repeat#do NOT @ me#opposing opinions are not welcome#leave me alone#toxic activism
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the toxic masculine urge to be perfect and strong with no weaknesses
#I’m not even amab but I feel like toxic masculinity has affected me more than toxic femininity#I’m cool with other people crying but the instant I start I’m like “heerghhh no must keep the noxious brain chemicals in my eyes”#I never cared about my physical appearance being “feminine” but I have always hated showing vulnerability#Like I’ve had issues with body image but usually it’s more along the lines of “I have no muscle and I’m weak” than anything#Or when I was nine in ballet class I was self-conscious about not having broad shoulders when I looked in the mirror#and about having such a huge head in proportion to my body#Like obviously I’ve balanced out now that I’m fully grown and have lots of positive male (and female!) role models I look up to#But honestly it’s really reassuring to see guys in older media who are not very strong-looking or intimidating physically#bawling their eyes out for a role#And I’m like “damn they deserve love” and then I’m like “damn I deserve love too”#scrawny looking untoned guys rise up#Yeah my issues with body image started in a Dunham’s Sports when I saw that punching bag dummy with a fucking ten pack#staring down at me when I was six years old and messing with their elliptical machines#I was like “I want to look like that” and stayed on the elliptical for an hour straight#And then Man of Steel came out a few years later and everyone was talking about the guy’s physical transformation#and I remember the phrase “sculpted abs” being used and that fucked me up for awhile#Now I look back at that movie and go “holy hell that poor man is blatantly dehydrated. Fuck the directors”
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small talking to myself kinda post pay no mind
#I’ve been wondering a lot about myself and my place in things again lately#Been thinking about my identity and who I want to present as and how I act#Someone who I used to consider my best friend broke me down so miserably that I’ve grown to hate myself for everything-#that they would shit on me for.#It makes me think about when I was like that to someone I cared about#And it makes me really fucking sad#I’m proud to say I’m not that person anymore but knowing I invited it back into my life-#through another person that I continuously made excuses for#It’s like I felt obligated to be miserable as some stupid egotistic self righteous karma#And I truly hate that. I hate that I let it go on for so long because I hated myself too much to change it#It’s okay now but I still reflect on it often#I’m constantly wondering if I’ll go back to being shitty or if I’m letting myself be abused again#It’s messed with my view of myself. My view of my looks. Of my gender. Of my trauma#Of my humor. Of my tastes. Literally everything#I haven’t been able to repair my trust with myself enough to trust others and it fuckin blows man#It sounds stupid saying it out loud I guess#But I can’t keep bottling it or I might implode#I think that things will be fine with time and continued effort#Just need to spend some time really thinking about where I want to be in the future#I think I want to start therapy but voluntarily this time#Maybe a professional will be able to help me sort it out#vent#rant
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hey actually what was up with the artemis fowl series suddenly pivoting to make the grown adult woman a love interest for the teenage boy. like I’ve blocked everything after the first 4 books from my mind bc I hate them for many reasons but like. genuinely what the fuck.
#made worse I think by the new movie making Holly a child as well I think#(I don’t know I didn’t watch it and I’ll never watch it out of spite)#artemis fowl was one of The most influential book series for me personally I loved them dearly#(again. only the first 4 tho)#I HATED 5. it’s the only one I do not own. bc I disliked it that much.#but seriously pivoting the relationship between a literal child and a grown adult woman to be even kind of romantic is weird right#i knowwwww in the book where they kissed she’d been time bullshitty aged back down to a teenager too but like. my god#sorry I’ve had these grievances for nearly a decade now#anyway. I doubt anybody cares about this series lmao#also I must say I’m a niche butch Holly/transfem Trouble t4t lesbian truther it needs to be said#(i am the only correct person about artemis fowl thanks)#.doc#actually I must continue. I loved holly that was a real blow to her character. also no adaption has ever done her right.#theyve always made her too feminine. she’s got SHORT SHORT hair and brown skin and a hooked nose and literally nobody ever depicts her as s
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