#i’m not replying but like ugh
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not my mom messaging me after four and a half years of no contact outside of like two texts on christmas/birthday saying i need to reach out to my oldest brother (guy who also caused me a great deal of childhood trauma) like hello. the fucking audacity.
#i’m not replying but like ugh#is he lonely?? bc of the holidays?? oh so sad. so sad the kid u chose over every single other kid u have misses us#so sad that the guy behind why i fear every argument will turn violent misses me#terrible way to wake up today i’m so glad i don’t have work#i have the right to be so much more annoyed by this but i’m just too tired#i usually reply to their holiday messages politely but this year i was like no. absolutely none of my energy going to u guys anymore#pick me out of a line up of men now after a year HRT and then come try and be my mom dnsbshdb#vent //#tw#abuse tw
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it’s crazy that the two *big* Adolin theories going around are a) he will become Odium’s champion, or b) he will take on the shard of Honor. there is so much Character stuffed into Adolin Kholin that both outcomes make perfect sense for him narratively, yet they’re almost complete opposites within the story
#and then there are theories like. he’s gonna continue just being some guy#feel free to add your two cents in the tags/reblogs/replies#i actually really want to hear people’s thoughts#UGH adolin is SUCH a good character#so good that the fandom thinks he could have one of two completely opposite outcomes#the thing about the odium’s champion theory is that he needs to be pushed to that point by someone/something else#so i’m just really hoping that something pushes him past his breaking point and he becomes OC#i’m also the number 1 tragedy enjoyer in the world so i’m biased#sorry guys i actually CANNOT stop posting about adolin#i can’t get him out of my head#vin speaks#the stormlight archive#wat spoilers#wind and truth#wind and truth spoilers#wind and truth speculation#wat speculation#brandon sanderson
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i’m gonna sound stupid for saying this but i’m acc very upset that real life is keeping me away from being a loser here 😔
#suki rambles#i’m barely at home anymore with how much i spend time outside... and i just wanna sit down and WRITE#but as soon as i come home i’m just so exhausted from studying and travelling that i pushing out a 1k fic-#-which would normally be so easy for me feel so impossivble now#and now i just stare at my wips feeling disappointed in myself that i’m too tired to work on it#me staring at my vampire!kita fic 😔#me staring at my lemurian! rafayel fic 😔#the younger me could’ve stayed up and pulled an all nighter to finish a fic but now i just could NEVEERRRR#i need my 8 hours of sleep or i won’t function for a whole day#and i feel so horrible too that i’m so behind on replying to everyone 🥹#DTD TOO BRUH like i was so dedicated in updating every week but when im FINALLY at the last chapter thats when i get so busy ugh#like i don’t wanna be hard on myself bcos i have written a lot and also this is just a hobby but thats the thing!!#i feel like i’m so busy with adult things that i don’t have enough time for writing (which brings me joy) and i’m sad about it lol#big sigh.#tw: rant
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god i cannot wait to be off these steroids…
#marzi speaks#marzivents#<- it’s late n i’m kinda pent up abt this#i’m so TIRED of themmmm#i’m probs gonna be on them for the rest of the year. which SUCKSSS#i don’t like how many ppl comment on the moon face#i don’t mind it. like i look in a mirror and i’m okay.#it’s a little weird. but like. just because it’s different. like getting used to a new haircut#but every time i see someone for the first time in a bit it’s ��woah your face got rounder’#and i have to go ‘oh yeah it’s water retention- steroids thing it’ll go away when i’m able to go off ‘em’#and they go ‘oh alright :) you still look good btw don’t worry’#and i just. i HATE how people talk about it!! like jfc. it’s so clear that they think it’s like kinda sad#my dad said he thinks it’s cute and he’s the only one i actually think is telling the truth there#my mom and i agree that it doesn’t matter. but even then she tries to tell me not to panic#like a little extra squish in my face is something to panic over#it’s so clear that so many people see it as another thing to pity#oh poor thing. has that chronic illness for the rest of her life. and the steroids made her jaw look rounder :(#like jfc i knew fatphobia was prevalent but come the fuck on. literally i’m like barely retaining water for steroids too#like. i’m still very much skinny (i JUST finished being malnourished ffs) but bc i’m retaining water in my face#now ppl feel the need to comfort me. over this tiny cosmetic thing that does not matter#like. i wouldn’t feel weird abt it if it weren’t for everyone else making it such a THING. why is everyone so weird about it#i’m not insecure about it but when ppl try to comfort me or go ‘it’s not that bad’ it makes me feel like i’m SUPPOSED to be insecure abt it#and it drives me NUTS. bc there are things about being on steroids that i would love to be comforted about#but the water retention is not one of them. i couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the water retention#y’know what i’d like to be comforted over? the mood swings. the irritability. the insomnia. the appetite fluctuation#the slow healing of skin. thinning and dryness in the skin. having to take like 3 other medications alongside the steroid#bc taking the steroid causes side effects that need to be medically treated or prevented#even outside of the steroid! i’d like some comfort about having to build back my stamina from scratch#i’d like some comfort about having the worst balance i’ve had in years#there’s. more to this. but i’m out of tags. maybe i’ll make some replies idk. i’m just. UGH
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Okay, not to undermine just how bad the teenage years were but the 20s are a different kind of torment…
#d0 stuff#like ugh#I have to read these things and reply to them and it won’t be pretty but#ugh#yeah I’m seeing that work + family have been draining my confrontation reserves#so now when it comes to uni I’m like. ugh. can I just ignore this problem until it (grows into sth bigger 🤡)#negative#just yeah. clown behaviour#but I’m so tired I don’t want to ✨ Unpack Shit ✨#tbh I think the pace of my character development has been already too fast so yah#leave me alone 🙏
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Y’all what sleeping meds actually work and can be prescribed to people labeled as addicts and don’t make you disgustingly hungry right before you fall asleep and don’t give you horrible nightmares? Please tell me about your experiences with sleeping meds, I know everyone is different and reacts to medication differently but I want to know what the options look like (if any) becaus I really think I need to switch up completely bc the benefits aren’t outweighing the negative side effects anymore. I wish I could just get ambien or something but that isn’t possible. Not to abuse, I have no interest in that. I just want to be able to sleep with as few side effects as possible and that’s it.
please respond to this or hmu if you know of anything that might help or is used off label for insomnia or sedates you but isn’t a narcotic ugh I don’t know what to do I can’t just not take it because then I will not sleep and bed things happen when I don’t get my sleep
#idk if it can even be called hunger it isn’t hunger it’s just an unavoidable urge to eat as much as possible and it’s awful#it feels like being a bottomless pit and literally eating in your sleep subconsciously#if you’ve been on seroquel you know what I’m talking about#btw I’ve already been on trazadone I was for multiple years and it had a lot of the same negatives so I don’t want to go back on that.#ugh#medications#sleeping medications#sleep#sleeping#insomnia#sleep disorder#but please reply to this if you have any accurate knowledge on this kind of thing
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booo this guy came in & was bein an asshole over a rlly silly mistake ૮₍⇀‸↼‶₎ა grrr ik the holidays are stressful but pls!! i am just a girl!!
#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals!#it wasn’t even technically my fault but i apologized INCESSANTLY !!!! bc he was getting loud#& when he left he yelled ‘i’m never coming back here!’ to which i calmly replied w a shrug & ‘ok no sweat off my back’ LIKE SIR !!!#i understand you’re upset & but what you’re not gonna do is talk down to me!! I DONT SUBSCRIBE TO THAT KIND OF SPORTSMANSHIP !!!!#me & the other guy in here BURSTED out laughin when he left bc of how silly it all was !!! ugh why do MEN !!??? ໒꒰ྀི ���ᜊﬞﬞ ꒱ྀི১#but hey its alright bc im not letting grumpy old men like that bring me down!!! ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১ & so i remain kind!! ESP TO RETAIL WORKERS!!#tbd maybe?? idk the whole thing made me giggle lmaoxmek
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why am i incapable of having internet friends. why is it easier to make irl friends
#i’m constantly feeling like no one likes me#so i never message people and i never reply to posts#bc no one Actually wants to hear from me bc it would be weird#like no amber that’s not your friend that’s an acquaintance#and i will never pass that level with anyone#i feel so unseen and unloveable and unwanted and it makes me feel like high school#and i guess i know the answer is stop being chicken shit and message people i wanna be friends with#but it’s been so long since ive had Friends that idek how to interact#and idk what to say#UGH
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Hiiii Lysander it’s been a hot minute :] dunno if you even remember me lol uhh !! used to go by Finley n my user was something to do with gremlins… but I digress…how are you ? ? Your blog still looks awesome as always :D
HELLOOO so sorry for taking so long to reply I didn’t even see this 😭😭
WAIT I DO REMEMBER YOU!!!!!! I RECALL THE GREMLINS PFP
I KNOW ONE OF MT MOOTS HAD A PFP WITH THIS CREATURE.
FROM A MOVIE RIGHT???? I DONR REMEMBER WHAT SPECIFIC PFP IR WAS BUT I DO REMEMBER THE CREATURE AM I RIGHT???? 😭
Also I do apologise I’m not good with names 😭😭 I recognise people by their pfps.
OH MY GOD HI😭😭😭 I’ve been well and dandy, busy with life but pulling through😭😭😭 How have u been🥹💜💜💜💜🌸🌸🌸🌸
And thank you 😭😭 AND AHHHH SOAP PFP!!! I love Soap 😭😭😭😭🫶🏼🧼🫧
#I recognise the gremlins cuz you were the only person who I’ve known to have that theme#it’s been so long 😭#💜���💜🌸💜🌸💜🌸💜🌸#last time I remember that pfp was like?? 2023?? early 2023??? UGH 😭😭 MY MEMORY IS SHIT#mootie🥹#I’m gonna cry 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹#skskskskskksksks#reply post#not pjo
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i got the dates mixed up for something at my job and oml. i had to call this one guy to reschedule and my voice was shaking and i was in near tears like “can i PLEASEEE get you on for next week.” and he was like lol yea thas fine. but ugh 😭 i hate making stupid mistakes like this it’s literally the worst.
#personal#i had to call someone else to try and resch. and they haven’t returned my call yet so i’m on like.#pins and needles fighting back tears just waiting for them to reply to me UGH‼️‼️‼️
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Ahh I saw your gifset, did you go to see Wu Ming!
yes 🙌 it was so good! yibo did so well for his 1st international film and paired well with tony leung (who was freaking amazing and got me swooning with all of his shots 😭 taking me back to his wong kar-wai days) but now I think I have an angry yibo kicking someone’s ass kink and it’s not ok why is he so charismatic on screen ugh 😤 did you watch it yet omg ???
#replies#legit this was ??? so amazing ???#like i’m not even sugarcoating it was such a pleasure to watch#MAYBE CUZ ITS THE MOTHERLAND IGNITING SOMETHING IN ME IDK#propaganda works ig 😂😂😂#ok don’t hate me it’s rly good and nicely filmed#espionage done right is *chef’s kiss* the sacrifice the romance the BETRAYAL THE LOYALTY ugh
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i’m so normal about aiku haha
#suki rambles#rereading bllk for the third time and i’m still screaming over everything but now is the only time i reread it where my loyalties swayed#i was always a sae girly like... he just hits diff and he’s the prettiest UGH (chigiri is the prettiest but shhh)#BUT AIKU HELLO?!?! HE’S SO FINE AND WHAT FOR#and are we not gonna talk about that panel where he effortlessly tackled shidou and pinned him face down... yeah... THAT panel#ong that was such an iconic intro of him and he looks so scruffy and scrumpty and i wANT TO LICK HIM whoa what?#HIS BICEPS TOO OMG but mostly his face. i want to kiss him so bad 😭 i want to give him gifts and sniff him he smells expensive or like#leather i just know it#he also looks like someone’s baby daddy... it’s me i’m someone#when he said nothing gets past him and he’d be like the cop in the field ooh yeah OFFICER ARREST ME CUFF ME#he’s like soccer aizawa and my eye twitches every time i see him bcos i love aizawa too UGHHH AIKU OLIVER THE MAN YOU ARE#he’s so emotionally unavailable n that’s exactly my type. he’d leave me on delivered for hours and reply only after midnight then say#‘sorry baby haha was just busy’ he’d be so cold and nonchalant thru text but so cocky and smooth in person 😞 oh i’m in pain#he’s gonna break my heart and i’d let him! also the type of guy who doesn’t bring flowers in a date but would buy you one if u asked#then says its not that big of a deal when you go heart eyes at him... only ever wants casual shit n then avoids u when you start falling 😔#also his thighs too. damn. DAMN. looking respectfully sir i am in love with you please take all that i have 🙏🏻#karasu is my new crush too HES JUST SOOOOOO okay i love them IM SCREAMING#gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure when my dark haired red flag soccer men come on screen#idk should i open requests for bllk i wanna write them for funsies 😞
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if i go out with my parents and i get separated it’s next to impossible to find them again unless i bump into them because neither of them looks at their phone?? 😭
#like WHY do you not look at ur messages or pick up if someone’s calling u shdjfj#my dad always has his phone in his pocket too and will pick up work calls but never replies to me 🤨#and my mum literally just goes through life without caring about a phone it’s just deep down in the bottom of her purse somewhere#sometimes i have to remind her to take it along just in case and she’s like ugh not like i’m gonna use it#goals tbh imagine not being physically attached to ur phone atp#but anyway all this means is that if we go out i’m the only one with any info/tickets etc etc so if my phone dies we’re doomed#brought to you by: me walking around aimlessly in this huge garden centre for an HOUR looking for them
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I'm sorry. Because English is not my native language, maybe my words look rude in English? But I really didn't mean to criticize you. I just think your reasoning is a little over-reliable on A3. I've read a lot of your articles and found it's a very meaningful discussion.I've seen a lot of negative comments of Jinyoung and Baro in the past, but they're very short, just tag attacks. Leave one selfish and the betrayal will be over. I have seen many comments attacking Jinyoung and Baro in the past, but they are all very short, just say "selfish", "betrayal", "they framed A3" and it's over.
But you explained your reasoning in detail. Because of A3's reaction, you think Jinyoung and Baro must have done something wrong to them, especially Jinyoung. In fact, reading your article made me gain a lot, and I think it is good to be able to look at the matter from a different perspective. So it's really interesting to see, I've seen the data for about 2020, and I started my reading from the data of 2023. I'm going to watch it all! Because the content is abundant!! It's rare to see such a serious discussion.
I think there are often things in life where both parties feel that they are the wronged party, and both parties feel that they are the right party. In fact, JY also shed tears on his FM in 2019, and he also mentioned that there are many misunderstandings and criticisms of him. So I think Jinyoung also feels hurt. People on both sides feel hurt, and we cannot judge which side is at fault just based on who cries harder and who reacts more violently.
When it comes to work, A3 seems to be viewed their efforts entirely from the perspective of fan service, but in fact, B1A4's success and failure are objectively related to their earnings. In fact, there are many efforts that are no different from those of us who work for ourselves. But when it comes to JY's hard work, it seems that what he does is ALL about personal gain. That's why I would say in your eyes, A3 seems really is very kind, and JY is a completely selfish person.
I think all five of them have a side that cares about fans, but they also have a selfish side. If you really want to try to guess what happened, you have to put aside your love for them and deliberate like someone who doesn't know them at all, in order to get a more objective answer. This is my opinion.
If my words offend you again, I'd like to apologize first.But because my English is not good enough, I'm afraid I'll make the same mistake. I hope I don't do that this time.
#B1A4 # Jinyoung #CNU #Sandeul #Baro #Gongchan #OT5 #OT3 #WM #BB #RBW #5 of them are ordinary people
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Like I said before, I no longer have any desire to comment on this particular subject as it’s been something I have already addressed over and over and over again these last 5 years. I have moved on, all the boys have moved on, and I think the best thing is for the rest of the fandom to move on.
We will all have our own thoughts about it, based on what we saw happen and what the boys have said on it. And I can respect that you have your opinions, just as I have mine.
Take care, and I hope you can get to a point where you feel at peace with the situation and can support all five of them as they continue in their careers.
#b1a4#cnu#sandeul#gongchan#jinyoung#baro#text#ask#reply#also I gotta laugh about that jy comment you make though—#how when it comes to him it’s all for personal gain….. lmao#OF COURSE IT’S FOR PERSONAL GAIN!! who else would it be for??? sandeul?!! lol#he is only promoting himself!! he is no longer in a group!! ugh god I can’t#and it’s like#thats FINE. there is NOTHING wrong with that.#alright alright I’m done i said I wasn’t gonna say anything else lmao
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Hi what do you do if you don’t like someone but they think you’re friends and talk to you like you’re friends and can’t take a hint
#he’s too fucking needy and all he does is take and take and take#and I don’t have any love left for him#and I don’t know how to say that in a nice way#there are strangers who I’ve had five min conversations with#and I’ve gained more out of those ‘relationships’ than I have in this one in a whole year#like. I just Cannot deal with him he’s fucking horrible for my mental health#I’m sorry he’s going through stuff. I’m sick of being there for him when hes never there for me#and now he’s sending me ten pics of his hair and being like ‘which one is best’ and Buddy. we are not Friends#like it’s a silly silly little thing and I am replying because I don’t want to be rude but we’re not friends#and I don’t know how to convey that without being cruel#I didn’t talk to him for like several months until yesterdya#and he talked about how he missed me and wanted to hang out more#and I don’t Want To I’ve moved on to people who actually add value to my life and don’t use me constantly#like thank u for liking my personality! I Cannot reciprocate. sorry Buddy#I do have so much love to give but just not for him#but then I feel bad because IM also so fucking needy all the time. do people feel the same way about me and just don’t tell me#because it’s too much of an inconvenience to hurt my feelings because they can’t get away from me?? idk#I think me and him are similar and every time I say that Evan goes 🤔🤔 but idkkk#everyone else says we’re very different and I’m not annoying in the way he is#but ugh.#one day I’m going to be SO secure in every single one of my relationships. one day soon
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sorry for not rly responding to stuff
I really appreciate all your sweet messages and stuff i’m just so exhausted and brain dead rn but i love you guys so much <3
#i’m feeling a bit better than i did yesterday but i just feel burnt out ugh#it’s really hard for me to hold a conversation and reply to messages when I’m like this#txt
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