#i’m going to be swimming and shopping and going to a wedding in another country

[oddishblossom]

i’m taking some time away from tumblr! going on an island getaway for the next two weeks. there’s like a million posts on my queue so it’ll be as if i’m still here lol. if anything huge happens while i’m gone (like if the forbidden season 2 of scum villain drops………) pls let me know i don’t wanna be out of the loop! take care ya’ll <3

[artemisbarnowl]

What is life like in Melbourne? I’m looking into moving there from the UK and would love some insights and whatever else from people who live and work there 💕

I've only visited the UK briefly as a tourist so I'm not sure how to compare them in a way that's going to give you useful info. But I'll give you info at least. Please sit comfortably and we'll begin.

Melbourne has 5 million people in it, but is also quite a large sprawling urban area, so it doesn't feel really packed and busy. It sits on a bay, so it doesn't get freezing but does have the '4 seasons in one day' jokes which are true. I never really got in the habit of checking the weather in the morn before I left for work until I moved away from melb where the forecast was such that I could dress appropriately without surprise.

When I talk about what I love about Melbourne I mean inner suburbs and CBD (which is a beautiful grid and shining example of urban planning for the now that is weighed down by no plans for the future). Public transport connectivity is decent (comparable to London imo) but wait times, delays, and travel times on trams and buses might be relatively crap depending on your experience. It's no Moscow metro (my beloved), but you can probably get to where you're going somehow. Also e scooters have popped off. Further out there's no trams and there's more big gaps between train stations (the train lines are arranged like spokes of a wheel around a central city circle. There will be another city loop slightly overlapping the current one in service next year). This is what I despairingly call The Suburbs. Where you probably need a car to get around and it's like at least 20 mins drive to Anywhere for dinner, groceries or fun activities. Mostly Melbourne is not overly hilly so bikes are an option but infrastructure such as bike lanes is really hit or miss depending on area. Especially good in the inner north. Melb inner suburbs are very walkable and I love love love that. I lived in the inner north and could walk into the CBD to do whatever.

In terms of culture things I think Melbourne is the most international of Aus's capitals in that it has a lot of different people but also that there's a lot open late. Sydney probably can and will make the same claim. But that's it. The rest of Aus is a country town. Major shops will probably close 5.30 or six mon to wed but there's plenty of stuff that's open later. You can always find a bar* or 8. There's plenty of different cuisines in gourmet or fast food dining. There's a cafe in the CBD that's open 24 hours where I can sit outside and have a pot of green tea WHENEVER I WANT. Bookstores open til 10pm. There are lots of events throughout the year and lots of cultural institutions to visit on a whim for free! Some are paid also obvi but I find it difficult to be bored when I can go to the museum to see taxidermy or the NGV for art for free whenever. I am a zoo member which means I get to hang out in a beautiful park/garden which creatures for free whenever I want. Again as you go out further this becomes less true. Fringe cities at the ends of train lines are likely to have what you need to live but less fun activities less often. Not nothing though!

Melbournians really do love wearing black. Especially in winter. They also love strategic Grey. I thought people were exaggerating until I left. A head to toe black outfit is uncommon enough to be remarkable where I live now. Even in a regular boring office where people wear very muted colours I'm the only one who does it. There is no functional difference between the a mourning outfit and one of a Melbournian. it's common wear sneakers with a lot of seemingly formal or corporate outfits, but not thongs with jeans. That's some weird Sydney nonsense.

Being around the bay there's plenty of places to swim in summer! Most of the bay is bordered by beach, most famous and reachable from the city is St Kilda beach. Which is excellent and beyond reproach if you're not Australian and 'fine' if you are. Traveling down towards Mornington Peninsula they get better. 5km makes a difference to the grain of the sand. Some are more fine, can get more coarse and shelly as well. Never stony. Only a little bit of seaweed here and there.

There are parks in the heart of the city (nothing huge like Hyde though) and little wildlife corridors or reserves in most suburbs but it's not an especially Nature city. It's only one hour by train and bus or by car to the Dandenongs (a low mountain range, not to be confused with hugely underated immigrant suburb of Dandenong in melb) though which have cool temperate rainforest national park, lots of gardens (huuuuuge rhododendron garden up there), little b&bs, english style cafes (miss Marples in Olinda is the most famous) and lots of walking and biking. I say one hour but Melbourne as an area reaches right to the base of the range, which is why you can get a bus from the shops. There are national parks that are native woodland or grasslands closer to the heart of the city but these are less special to me because that's the standard nature I see every day of my life. There's a pink lake in south melb which is fun. But I love tree ferns and fresh damp dirt and the tallest flowering trees in the world!!

If you have more specific Q's feel free to ask. I am a city gal at heart but did live rurally originally and frequently do short stays (2 weeks to a month) in rural or remote areas so I am used to comparing amenities and connectivity.

*Melbourne has regular bars but also is very big on rooftop bars. Sydney has some, but other cities hear rooftop bar and think 'bar inside but with views or on top floor of building. Probably formal'. Melbourne roof top bars are on the roof. In the open air (maybe some shade sail) and it's very much a casual thing. Jugs of beer or sangria, chips, feels like a good barbeque rather than a refined cocktail bar. Those are often in basements.

[seriouslysam8]

I think I’m most looking forward to the holiday LMAO, give me that potter family fluff

The Holiday is hilarious to me. Here’s a snippet that’s MOT compliant as I wrote it before I planned the AU.

“We’re mental.”

Harry heaved a heavy sigh as he collapsed onto the bed next to Ginny. He pushed his glasses up with his fingers and massaged his closed eyelids. Ginny dog-tagged the corner of her book and sat it down on her bedside table before turning her full attention towards him.

She reached out a hand and ran her fingers through his salt and peppered hair. The gray had started years ago above his ears and at his temples. By now, he had more gray hairs than black.

“Why are we mental?” Ginny inquired as she snuggled down under the covers, her toes brushing against his calf.

“Nineteen people are in our house tonight,” Harry whispered. “We are going to have to get all nineteen people to the Ministry at four in the morning to catch an international Portkey, which, I predict, will have at least a third of us puking our guts out upon arrival to stay at an eight bedroom beach house in a foreign country.”

Ginny grinned and gently pried his hands away from his eyes. “Sounds like fun. Plus, we only really have to worry about Remus getting sick. The youngest after him is Hugo, and he’s fourteen. He can hold his stomach contents.”

“I swore we’d never travel to America again after Luna’s wedding. Albus puked on me.”

“Albus was also six at the time.”

Ginny pressed her body against his, her breasts firmly against his side. He let out a small moan in the back of his throat as he tossed his glasses onto his bedside table. He turned to face her, scooting until their chests were pressed against one another.

“I’m not holding Remus during the Portkey,” Harry whispered as he brushed a piece of red hair behind Ginny’s ear.

Ginny smirked. “Yes, you will. You will tell Teddy that you have him and insist he goes with you.”

Harry chuckled. “Probably. You have to hold him secure or else he might go flying during the Portkey.”

Ginny shook her, her mouth hanging open slightly. “Harry, that doesn’t happen. They have slings now to keep the baby secure in your arms.”

“I think I should go out and buy our own sling. What if the one they give us is old and worn?”

Ginny leaned in to press a kiss firmly onto the side of his mouth and mumbled, “You worry too much.”

“You don’t worry enough.” Harry pulled back, his hand reaching up to cup her face, his thumb brushing along the small cluster of freckles on her upper lip. “One of us has to worry about the worst case scenario.”

“We are going to have a blast on holiday. Lily and I went shopping and bought a bunch of stuff for the beach.”

Harry’s eyebrows raised. “Do I even want to go near our bags once we get to the house? I can only imagine what you’ve shrunk and shoved in there.”

Ginny’s hand encased over his, pulling his palm in front of her lips so she could kiss it.

“Shh, it’ll be fun. Don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t worry about it, she says,” Harry laughed as he pushed her gently onto her back and ran a hand up her old threadbare Holyhead Harpies vest. “It’s all fun and games until I can’t find my swim trunks.”

Ginny grinned up at him, her eyebrows wiggling. She felt his thumb brush against her nipple and she arched her back. She moaned as he ducked his head down and his lips glided across the sensitive spot just below her ear.

“I wouldn’t object to that,” she hummed, her fingers trialing down his side and disappearing beneath the waistband of his boxers.

“Mmm,” Harry whispered near her cheek. “I have a feeling the kids might.”

[odanurr87]

My thoughts on... Hotel del Luna

From left to right: Pyo Ji-hoon as Ji Hyun-joong; Yeo Jin-goo as Gu Chan-sung; Lee Ji-eun (IU) as Jang Man-wol; Bae Hae-seon as Choi Seo-hee; and Shin Jung-keun as Kim Sun-bi.

Released in 2019, Hotel del Luna was my introduction to the works of the Hong sisters as well as actors Yeo Jin-goo and Lee Ji-eun (IU), and what an introduction it was! The first episode of the show was excellent, giving us a hint of Man-wol’s tragic past that left me wanting to know more, then moving forwards in time to reenact that scene from Beauty and the Beast where Belle’s father is caught trying to steal a rose from Beast’s garden to give to Belle, and finally reaching present day as Man-wol tries to recruit Chan-sung and introduces him, and us, to this world of gods, ghosts, and souls with lingering grudges, that reminded me of the wondrous world of Harry Potter. Everything clicked for me in this episode, from the beautiful cinematography and music to the strong performances, particularly IU’s as Man-wol who knocked it out of the park and, incidentally, has a most impressive wardrobe and an uncanny ability to look amazing in every single one of her outfits. This was a highly promising start for my next modern fantasy show after Goblin and I couldn’t wait for the next episode. But what is this show about and why should you watch it?

Plot synopsis

21 years ago, Gu Chang-sung’s father cut a deal with the beautiful and mysterious owner of Hotel del Luna, Jang Man-wol, so that she would save his life in exchange for his son. Regretting the deal afterwards, the father left the country with his son hoping to spare him his fate. Believing himself to be safe, Gu Chan-sung has returned to work as assistant manager in one of Korea’s top hotels but Jang Man-wol is intent on collecting on the old debt by having him work in her hotel instead. However, Hotel del Luna is not your typical establishment, as Gu Chan-sung soon finds out, providing a service for souls who need healing or have grudges left to settle before moving on. While initially afraid of the prospect of becoming assistant manager at a hotel that serves ghosts, Gu Chan-sung finds himself intrigued by the challenge and curious about the story of the beautiful owner who runs it.

A magical atmosphere

Stepping into the world of Hotel del Luna feels like taking the train at Platform Nine and Three-Quarters and attending Hogwarts. In fact, our intrepid hero, Gu Chan-sung, also receives a magical letter welcoming him as Hotel del Luna’s new manager, and while there’s nothing magical about the subway that takes him there Jang Man-wol does use a little magic to ensure their first encounter goes undisturbed. The hotel itself reminded me of Hogwarts, not because it is filled with ghosts and can only be found by them (and the very much alive and fearful human manager), but because of the feeling of perpetual wonder knowing that behind every door lies a new magical mystery waiting to be discovered, be it a room only people who are alive can enter but not exit, the sky lounge, a swimming pool that is actually a beach in some undetermined plane of existence, or a beautiful garden with a magical tree that holds one of the hotel’s biggest secrets. Of course, one should not forget CEO Jang Man-wol (if one wishes to live) who, while certainly a very different character from Albus Dumbledore in terms of personality, always knows more than she’s letting on and is usually in control of any situation, even if the outcome isn’t always the one she anticipates. There is also the wonderful supporting cast in the form of the different incarnations of the deity Ma Go-sin (played by Seo Yi-sook, who looks like she’s having a blast playing the different sides of the goddess), a reserved but diligent Grim Reaper (played by Kang Hong-suk), and the welcoming staff of the hotel, represented by the trio of Kim Sum-bi (the bartender), Choi Seo-hee (the room manager), and Ji Hyun-joong (the hotel receptionist).

In the same way we cannot divorce Harry Potter from its music, given its distinct signature by that legend that is John Williams, I cannot forego mentioning Hotel del Luna’s mysterious, magical, and ethereal, instrumental soundtrack. Let me take you on a brief musical tour, shall I? Let’s start by taking subway line 4 and going to Hotel del Luna. The receptionist seems to be asleep so why don’t we let ourselves in? Wow, looks like the hotel’s throwing a party, apparently they’re welcoming human guests for the first time in years and the staff is particularly excited about it. That explains how we managed to get in (remember, this is not really a hotel for living, breathing, people). I can see that the bartender is busy receiving food orders and members of the staff are decorating the hall with real flowers. Hey, where’s that kid sneaking off to? Let’s follow him. Oh, that’s the Samdocheon Tunnel, which marks the boundary between this life and the afterlife. The Grim Reaper and the manager are there to bid farewell to one of the hotel’s guests. Apparently, there’s a bridge beyond the tunnel that takes 49 days to cross! I’m not eager to cross it just yet so let’s return to the hotel. Wait, why is there water everywhere? Looks like a water god managed to get past the receptionist (not that difficult when he’s asleep) and the CEO isn’t very happy about it. Yup, she definitely doesn’t look happy. We’d better make our exit before she figures out we shouldn’t be here.

To complement this excellent instrumental soundtrack, my favourite among all the kdramas I’ve watched to date, there’s an amazing selection of songs by artists like Red Velvet, TAEYEON, Heize, Punch, Chung Ha, and Paul Kim, among many others. IU herself sings an absolutely beautiful song that plays in one of the most highly-anticipated scenes of the show but which, sadly, has not been released. However, just as important as having a great soundtrack is using it well. If you’ve read my reviews of Angel’s Last Mission: Love or Strong Woman Do-Bong Soon, you should have an idea of how much I value using the right music at the right time to convey or accentuate the proper emotions during dramatic, comedic, or romantic scenes. Correct music usage can lead to your soundtrack being memorable, whereas incorrect music usage will surely render it forgettable. Fortunately for us, Hotel del Luna knows precisely when to use its music and how. It knows when levity is called for and when it’s not, when to highlight the wondrous side of magic and when to show its darker side, when to use Heize’s “Can You See My Heart” or Punch’s “Done For Me.” I believe it was John Williams, when talking about the music of the original Star Wars trilogy, who said that he wanted the score to tell the story of what was going on in the screen. I believe Hotel del Luna’s score achieves this feat.

Another aspect that contributes to the magical atmosphere of the show is, without a doubt, its incredible cinematography (from camera angles, through its beautiful use of lighting and colours) which, combined with its excellent score, can create scenes that are best defined as poetry in motion. I particularly liked how it favoured studio sets for shooting many of its scenes, giving the sensation that we’re watching a superb play that encourages us to send our imagination into overdrive. Even some of the more noticeable VFX work, like the city view from the hotel’s sky lounge plays into the notion that one cannot always tell what’s real and what’s fake in Hotel del Luna, as Man-wol warns Chan-sung that the view from the sky lounge is not from this world, but the fall will kill him just the same (Man-wol being Man-wol). Because I’m not knowledgeable enough to explain the show’s cinematography in technical terms, I’ll leave you with a trailer that captures some aspects of it and, luckily, also showcases Jang Man-wol’s incredible selection of dresses.

A part of a greater whole

In my review of Bring it on, Ghost I mentioned the show followed a certain formula that is often poorly executed in Western shows. There is a main story-arc that encompasses the whole of the show and there are side stories where our protagonists confront the “ghost of the week.” One of the strengths of Bring it on, Ghost lied in how these side stories would sometimes tie into the main story or would be used to expand on a character’s backstory so that they rarely came across as filler. Hotel del Luna executes the same formula with a lot more thought and care, often laying out the groundwork for events later down the episode, what is expected, or even later down the show, what is a bit more impressive. The Hong sisters remain true to their initially-stated intention throughout the show and reinforce this with the aid of these side stories, preparing both Gu Chan-sung and us for the inevitable dénouement of the show. Let me try to illustrate my point by way of an example. I don’t want to give more for fear of completely spoiling the show for you.

Episode 5 tells the story of a ghost bride whose parents want to give a soul wedding so she will be able to peacefully pass into the afterlife. Unfortunately, the chosen partner for this soul wedding ends up being Gu Chan-sung’s best friend, Sanchez, so while Man-wol goes shopping as Audrey Hepburn with the parents’ black card (our girl has very expensive tastes), Gu Chan-sung tries to figure out a way to spare his terrified friend. After some twists and turns, what is often the case with this show as the truth is not always what it seems, it is revealed that it is actually the groom’s parents who want to marry off the bride so she’ll let go of their son, who’s in a coma. For those who’ve watched Bring it on, Ghost, the parallels with the ghost side story from Episode 10 are fairly evident, as the ghost bride needs to find the strength to let go of the person she loves and she ultimately does so in one of the most beautifully composed scenes of the show. This is one of those “poetry in motion” scenes I was talking about. As the groom runs away in shock and fear, the bride gathers the courage to cut the red string of fate tying them together, under the intent gazes of Gu Chan-sung, dressed as the groom, and Jan Man-wol, dressed as a bride (in red).

You need a stronger will to let go than to hold on.

This scene is a portent of events yet to come, when the day finally arrives where Chan-sung and Man-wol will also have to part ways. Indeed, several episodes later, the room manager will remind Gu Chan-sung of the words Goddess Ma Go-sin then told the ghost bride, “You need a stronger will to let go than to hold on.” The bride’s selfless act of letting go of the person she loves, breaking free from her earthly tether of her own volition, can be seen as a challenge to Man-wol, whose hatred for the man who betrayed her has been her sole drive for the past 1,300 years but also a curse that has bounded her to the hotel and prevented her from dying. Could she, like the bride, unburden herself by letting go of her hatred? Is it possible for someone with such a long and deep resentment to simply let go? This is a recurring question throughout the show and one that puts her at odds with her increasing desire to protect Gu Chan-sung, as she fears her actions, born of her hatred for the people who wronged her, might end up harming the man she loves.

Side stories such as this one often give us further insight into Man-wol, whether it be a glimpse of her past or challenging her beliefs, making her question herself and her actions, however briefly.

A fairy tale romance

Man-wol is a tsundere character, both a Beauty and a Beast, who has been nursing a thousand-year-old grudge against the people who betrayed her and consequently filters every human interaction through a lens of cold cynicism, expecting the worst from people. Chan-sung on the other hand, is a proper gentleman, a type of character we don’t often see in kdramas and a natural consequence of his training as a hotel manager. He’s friendly, cultured, well-mannered, kind, clever, and someone who's very much in control of his emotions most of the time. The evolution of the relationship between these two characters is the centrepiece of Hotel del Luna, a breath of fresh air in a landscape that often feels the need to use love triangles, or other polygons, as a shortcut to properly fleshing out the relationship between two characters. While there are elements of a love triangle present, such as expressions of jealousy for the sake of comedy, Hotel del Luna chooses to forego this trope and commit fully to the main characters’ fairy tale-like romance.

When you tell her you’ve been dreaming about her.

Another trope the Hong sisters mostly dispense with is that of misunderstandings, which are kept to a bare minimum, as Man-wol and Chan-sung are very open with each other regarding their thoughts and feelings, although Man-wol is, understandably, less transparent about her feelings in the beginning. It was incredibly refreshing to witness two characters that could guess each other’s thoughts and were willing to have an open and honest conversation about it rather than to hold back for the sake of drama. Of course, this did become somewhat frustrating for Man-wol (and fun for us) when Chan-sung started gaining more confidence, feeling at ease with Man-wol, and rebuking her selfish or materialistic actions. Their playful banter and bickering throughout the show is, to my mind, a clear indication that they’re comfortable with each other, as strong a sign of the chemistry in their relationship as half a dozen kisses, if not a better one, what is a good thing because those are few and far between. On the other hand, it makes those moments much more valuable and meaningful. The love between Man-wol and Chan-sung comes across in the gestures they make, in their facial expressions, in the words spoken and left unsaid. When Man-wol tries to comfort Chan-sung but doesn’t know how (Video), when she confesses she wants him to stay with her till the end and they share an intimate hug (Video), when Chan-sung breaks down and cries at the thought of not being able to see Man-wol ever again (Video), when the two have a conversation on the balcony under the moonlight (Video)... These are a precious few examples of the beauty, strength, and depth of feeling, of their relationship.

When the adult catches you in a lie.

While Man-wol is not the same ruthless person she was at the beginning of the show as she is at the end, she still retains some elements or traits of her personality throughout the show (there’s still a little tsun in her dere), as it should be. In one episode Chan-sung is remarking upon how much nicer she has become and she replies, “Gu Chan-sung, you’ve made leaves and flowers grow and have changed me a lot. But you won’t be able to change my core personality. Don’t even expect that.” Even as she says this you can see her looking a little uneasy about something, a little girl about to be caught in a lie by the adult who’s trying to keep her out of trouble. It is thanks to Gu Chan-sung’s patient and enduring love, that protected her from the worst aspects of her own self, that Man-wol is able to let go of her anger, both literally and metaphorically. But Man-wol also deserves praise, as she reciprocates Chan-sung’s love and equally tries to protect him from the dangers of this new world he has entered but most of all from herself, to the point she is willing to renounce her revenge and extinguish her existence to ensure she can never harm the man she loves.

Conclusion

It should be evident by now that I absolutely love this show and it is, without a doubt, my favourite out of all I’ve watched thus far, including Goblin. This is not to say the show is without flaws. Its almost single-minded focus on the story of Man-wol and Chan-sung has some collateral damage, most notably in the form of a character’s loved one, an event used as a means to highlight the pain experienced by those left behind, anticipating the day when our main protagonists will be forced to part ways. In another case, a poignant encounter for Chan-sung is not properly fleshed out, perhaps intentionally so but it seems like a wasted opportunity. Additionally, the introduction and development of the secondary villain’s arc (Man-wol is both the love interest and the main antagonist) felt a little weak, but is still a functional plot device that leads to some of the show’s best scenes. Finally, there is also the way the Hong sisters handled the riddle of Chan-sung’s dreams, which I may address in a separate post because it has too many spoilers.

If you’re a fan of fantasy dramas like Goblin, there’s simply no reason for me not to recommend this show and, hopefully, I’ve given you a few to persuade you as to why this is such a standout drama and, to my mind, the Hong sisters’ best work to date. It’s even on r/KDRAMA’s banner as one of those must-watch shows. If you do decide to watch it, I advise you to pace yourself so you don’t have to say goodbye to Hotel del Luna’s wonderful family too soon.

[mae-gi-writes]

Plus One | Kevin Moon (Around The World Collab)

When your boyfriend of eight years suddenly decides to break up with you right before your destined trip for your cousin’s wedding, nothing can cure your broken heart. In a desperate attempt to make you feel better, Kevin states that he will be your plus one.

Genre: little angst, fluff, friends to lovers. 

This fic is part of a collab “Around The World”, featuring different countries x the boyz members. I had the utmost pleasure of working with such an amazing group of talented writers for this project, so please don’t forget to check out their works too! ^^ <3 

This fic is takes place on Mauritius Island. 

Word count: 9k IZ A LONG ONE SO BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUPS

Tagging: @aniyawoos​ @chaoticdeobi​ @moondustaeil​ @juyeonzz​ @atbzkingdom​ @2hyunjae​ @jopping-to-my-kpop @jeongsinkookie @ihearttbz​ @heartyyjeno​ @bahnmi07 @sadlandia​ @itsquxxn​

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Eight years, gone just like that. 

I stare at a spot on my navy blue suitcase, not really focused on what’s before me and more concerned about the memories flickering past  my lids. I can’t help it. Everytime I see luggage, it makes me think of the way I kicked him out of my life. Everytime, a slab of pain will grab my heart between its icy fingers and squeeze it so that I can barely breathe. Everytime, until I feel like I’m drowning inside dark waters without the real desire to swim to the surface. 

My psychiatrist told me that it had been for the better. That it had been an obsessive, unhealthy kind of love in the first place. But was it better now that I couldn’t even feel my heart in the hollow space where it’s supposed to be? 

“Y/N.” 

Still, I remember the messages on his phone, the way his touch would feel strange, eerily hollow for some reason, the way he’d avoid my eyes whenever he’d tell me that he was going out with the guys. I remember smelling his coat and recoiling at the cheap scent of perfume clinging to it like second skin, how he’d constantly tell me how wonderful I was-- too wonderful for him -- and that I should find better, that I didn’t deserve someone like him.

And then, when I’d stumbled into our flat a little earlier than I was meant to -- since my gym class had been cancelled -- and took note of the trail of shoes, followed by a coat, a shirt, a thong, before my ears picked up on the noises echoing from the bedroom doors…

“Y/N?” 

His face when he spotted me, the astounded expression like a dog that had just been caught sneaking into the pantry. And the girl, a prettier woman, a curvy woman, with red lips and with those beautifully deep red wine locks tumbling down her back with the perfect physique that could make any man drool. That girl, who was none other than one of my good friends at work and who had spent most part of the year listening to my rants about him. 

“Y/N!”

“Huh?” My head whips up when I register my name being called out, looking up to see a raven-haired, petite-faced man leaning against the bedroom doorway with raised brows and a concerned expression on his face. 

“Oh, you’re here,” I say, as he crosses the doorway and sits beside me. The bed dips down under his weight as he tilts his head in that knowing manner of his, “daydreaming again?” 

“No,” I mumble, but he sees right through my facade and with a sigh, his arms wrap around my shoulder before pillowing his head against my shoulder. 

“It’s going to be okay,” he murmurs as I allow myself to lean back against him, against his comfort. His lavender scent wraps around me, a little bed of comfort amidst all the pain. 

“I can’t stop thinking about him,” I murmur, tears stinging the corner of my eyes, “it hurts, Kev.” 

He only holds me a little closer, a little tighter.

If there is one person that I can trust more than myself, it’s Kevin Moon. I’ve known Kevin ever since high school, having hung out in the same friend group until we had become partners for an art project. It was only then that we’d become closer, and had been close ever since. With his angular features and almond mono lidded eyes and thin lips that were constantly shaped in a pout, the Korean-born man had moved to Canada when he was young, just like I had a few years ago. He had kept me afloat during my university days, I had comforted him through his first break up. He had been present during my final Fine Arts Photography Exhibition, I was up all night coming up with re-branding concepts for his design project. Overall, Kevin had pretty much been a constant in my life, you get the gist of it.

When he found out that my boyfriend had cheated just a few days before our destined trip to attend my cousin’s wedding -- mind you, I had been sobbing waterfalls and it was a miracle he even understood me through my blubbering mess -- he had half a mind to storm up to the guy and rip his throat out. But he did the most surprising thing; booked a ticket for himself and turned up at my flat on the eve of the departure, stating that he was going to accompany me to that wedding, whether I liked it or not.

My cousin, Emma, was getting married right where home was: Mauritius. The memories I once had of the small island nestled right in the Indian Ocean on the right of Madagascar, was of my grandma’s comforting food, the sea scented air that washed along with the too-white sandy beaches, the multitudes of merchants selling all kinds of fresh fruits and vegetables on the side of the road, and small corner stores that looked like they had come out of a 1960’s movie. People liked to claim that Mauritius was paradise on earth, and in a way, it is.

“Come on,” Kevin had nagged when I shook my head adamantly. He’d wriggled his plane ticket before my nose, “you’re not going to let that loser spoil such a happy event are you? Emma’s waiting for you!” 

In the end, he’d won. Which is why we are here, staying at my cousin, Emma’s, apartment in a village called Moka, located at the foot of a mountain and has an abundance of forestry adorning the sides of the road. It's chilly here, in comparison to the harbourfront, and constantly smells like fresh rain and has a gentle fresh breeze blowing through.

“You know, assholes like him are not worth thinking about,” Kevin says now, his arm a gentle soothing caress up and down my back, “your brain might rot.” 

I can’t help but let out a soft, choked up laugh.

“It’s our first day here, let’s not ruin it by thinking about him, hm?” Kevin continues soothingly and I nod in agreement. He’s right. I’m just wasting time by reliving memories that I should be banishing from my mind. 

“Okay!” he brightens up then, “where shall we go? The sea? The market? Or do you want to go eat?!” 

--------------

The first few days are about meeting up with family and rediscovering Mauritius for what it is. Emma gives me a full-fledged hug the moment I open the door to her house, pressing me close to her with such motherly warmth that it takes everything in me not to break down right then and there. I greet my uncles and engage in small-talk with my aunts, help my grandma out in the kitchen as she continuously asks me why I’ve gotten so thin. While I know the main reason, I decide to smile and spare her the details, as embarrassing as it is. 

No one mentions him, until one of my uncles slips during a conversation with Kevin, “so you’re Y/N’s boyfriend. Such a pleasure to meet you! We’ve heard so much about you that we started thinking she was just making things up.” 

“Er--” Kevin reddens, “I--” 

“So how did you two meet?”

It is at this very instant that my mouth decides to move on its own and I blurt out, “we’re high school friends.” 

“Oh highschool sweethearts! How cute!” 

Kevin doesn’t fail to mention what a mistake I’ve made to lie to my entire family to save face.

“I feel guilty,” he says as we walk out to the car, keys dangling from my wrist. 

I unlock the car, “it’s fine. We’ll be in and out before they know it. They don’t have to know anything.” 

“Hm, sure.” 

After some well-deserved family time, Kevin and I decide to head to the west of the island to catch the sunset, my camera stuffed neatly in the backseat, where Kevin has tossed a few spare towels just in case. We each have donned our swimsuits for the occasion and it doesn’t take an expert to see the excitement thrumming through Kevin’s veins as he sits beside me like an excited child in the passenger seat. 

“I never realized that you guys drive on the left side of the road,” he comments, head whipping back and forth in-between the passage of cars. 

“Yeah, it takes some getting used to, especially if you’re crossing,” it is then that I notice that there is a newly built mall as we turn left at the green light, “hey, that’s new. I’ve never seen this before.” 

“Cas-ca-velle,” he mumbles out with that strong accent of his. He is definitely not one to know French and I’ve been acting as his translator all along, considering that my family speaks French at home, “what does that mean?” 

“Beats me. It’s just a fancy name for a new shopping mall,” I peer into its parking lot, “wanna visit?” 

“Whatever floats your boat, honey. I’m all in.”

The mall is longer than it is wide, with white archways decked with wooden-style roofs that give way to an open-plan exterior. A wide beige cemented pathway occupies the space, with shops lined on either side. 

“I never realized, but you guys are very multicultural,” comments Kevin as we pass by another family of four chattering quickly in a mixture of French and Creole. 

“We’re similar to Canada that way.” 

“Do you miss it here?” 

My eyes glance over at him, notice the soft empathy in his expression.

“I guess I do sometimes,” I say while I kick at a stray pebble, “It’s like homesickness. But in a way I can’t quite explain,” after a moment, I ask, “do you miss Korea?”

“The food, mostly,” he grins bashfully, “my halmeoni makes a killer gamja tang.” 

“Let’s go visit her one day.”

“Is that a promise?” he asks as I shrug, “if you want it to be.” 

It’s a little past six when we drive up to the Flic En Flac beach and as we gather our things, my eyes light up upon falling on a nearby roti stand. I quickly slap Kevin’s arm in my bout of excitement. 

“Ouch! What? What is it?” 

“Kevin, you’re not going to believe this,” I point at the stand in question, “this roti stand? It’s the best roti in Mauritius. Here, take this,” I don’t wait before shoving my bag and camera in his arms, “I’m gonna buy us some. You go and find us a spot on the beach.” 

“But--” 

I don’t wait for him to finish his sentence before taking off, greeting the merchant who is just about to be wrapping up to ask whether I can get two rotis with ‘cari saumon’ (roughly translated into salmon curry mixed with indian spices), local and freshly made. The smell wafts through the folded paper wrappers as I grab them. They smell just like my childhood, where everything had just been as easy as having rotis by the beach without a care about the future that is to come. It’s nostalgic and I can’t help the smile tugging up my mouth at the thought. 

Kevin is already settled atop a pair of spare towels and looks up at the sound of my footsteps approaching. I pass him one of the paper wrappers and he takes a peek, confusion flitting across his face. 

“This smells spicy,” he mutters loudly enough for me to hear, “it looks like naan bread.” 

“It is,” I agree, “except it’s flatter and more like a crepe.” 

Throwing me a hesitant glance, he takes a small bite. I watch his face go from confused to impressed in a few seconds, before his eyes whip up to mine, “woah, this is good.” 

“Told you so.” 

“But this is really, really good,” he can’t help but marvel at it and laughing, I proceed to dig into my own roti, allowing my mouth to be filled with that salty fish taste melting along my tastebuds, the curry spices giving it the nice tangy kick you wouldn’t find anywhere else. The roti is soft and practically melts on my tongue and I can’t help but moan at how good it is. 

“God, this is everything I’ve been looking for my whole life,” I find myself telling him, wrapped up in momentary bliss, “this, this is everything.” 

I can feel his eyes on me, so intense that my own flicker up in question. He drops his gaze the moment I do and I frown, confused. 

“What?” I can’t help but ask, wondering why he suddenly seems so meek, so shy and awkward, “what is it?” 

“Nothing,” he replies like he’s trying to be casual, except that it’s anything but. When he gazes back at me, I notice the warmth in his maroon eyes, more the color of caramel in the dim light from the sunset basking his profile in a golden glow, “I think--I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you so happy, since...” 

He doesn’t need to continue, for I know where this is going. Indeed, this is the first time in many months that I haven’t paid any attention to the hole inside my heart. 

And it feels good.

“Yeah,” I murmur as I watch the sun settle on the ocean’s horizon, fire kissing water, “I don’t know, I just feel like this is nice. Like it’s right.” 

I spare him a glance from the corner of my peripheral and watch him shift. His sleeveless shirt slips, allowing me a glimpse of the naked skin underneath. I quickly look away, slightly embarrassed at the notion of even thinking of him in such a way. 

“That’s how you should be, Y/N,” Kevin murmurs back just as softly. It’s almost like talking too loudly will break the sudden spell that has settled over our shoulders. He takes a sip of his beer before continuing, “you’ve suffered enough for someone who deserves nothing but shit for what he’s done.” 

There’s a small pause as I digest his words. Then, I manage to murmur out, “thanks, Kevin.” 

“No problem.” 

Another small bout of silence ensues, covered up by the sound of the ocean roaring up the sand, distant birds chirping in the fading light of the sunset drowning into the now orange-flecked waters. 

“Hey Y/N.” 

I glance at him. He’s gorgeous, even more so somehow. Maybe it’s the time of the day, maybe it’s the mood, or maybe it’s the way my heart can’t help but be swallowed in gratefulness whenever I look at him.

“What?” I ask.

“Do you know water has memory?” 

I choke on my beer, “do not-- and I mean this-- do not quote Frozen with me.” 

“Huh, I tried.” 

---------------------------

“So, Kevin huh?” 

My eyes shoot up to meet Emma’s in her crusty-dust-filled mirror, presently lounging on her bed and flipping through a book as I had been trying on my bridesmaid gown. Kevin is downstairs, helping out with the barbeque grill with the rest of the family, and it is only now that I get to have some alone time with the woman I consider my sister. 

She’s the only one that knew the exact details of my breakup, and that Kevin is only a mere replacement to cover my humiliated ass. I remember her trying to calm me down when I had called in a frenzy, practically hyperventilating because of the amount of pain that gripped at my heart and was choking me of all air. 

I revert my eyes back to the dress, a baby blue as bright as a summer sky, and smooth my hands down my sides, “he’s been so good to me, ever since…” I can’t finish the sentence, voice already wobbling at the thought that comes with it.

“Hey,” Emma’s murmur causes me to look up, and in her eyes I see a flicker of understanding, “he’s not worth it.” 

“I know,” I swallow back the tears crawling up my throat, “I know, it’s just--a hard pill to swallow.”

A hand comes to a rest at my elbow, before my cousin tucks her chin atop my shoulder, “it’ll be alright, Y/N. He doesn’t deserve you." 

I nod. Then, just to change the subject so that I don’t break down in her arms, I gesture towards the dress, “so? How does it look?” 

Emma tugs at some pieces here and there, rearranging the fabric as she sees fit, “I think it looks good. You look gorgeous. Kevin will swoon, for sure.” 

“It’s not like that,” I hurriedly say as I strip out of the dress and put it back on its hanger, “we’re just friends.” 

“Mhm,” she throws me a pointed look, a mischievous smile tugging at the corner of her lips, “'just friends' doesn't feel right..” 

“Emma, really? Right after my breakup?” 

“He came to Mauritius just for you Y/N,” she squeezes my shoulders comfortingly, “doesn’t that count for something?” 

“Well, we’ve been friends since high school so…”

“I don’t think just any friend in high school would do such a thing if I asked,” Emma catches my eye in the mirror, her gaze deep and meaningful, “just think about that.” 

I just nod in hopes that she’ll stop yapping away at my nonexistent relationship with Kevin, whatever that means. The hole in my heart is still so raw and filled with pain that I can’t even start thinking about another relationship. The thought alone is enough to drain me of all energy and I decide to brush it off for now as I follow Emma out in the backyard now filled with familiar chatter and the smell of cooked meat wafting through the air, with the sky bruising a soft purple to signal the end of a long summer day. 

Catching sight of Kevin as I bring out one of the many salad bowls that my family has prepared, my lips can’t help but twitch into a slow smile when I see him by the grill, whipping away the multitudes of flies zipping back and forth as my other cousin deftly flips the sausages upside down with a trained rhythm that only years of experience can bring. 

“Kevin! You’re not doing your job right!” my cousin cries playfully. Kevin attempts to flap the newspaper around while screeching, “oh god, my eyes are burning!"

“Someone bring more meat!” My cousin hollers. 

“There’s more?!” 

“He’s doing a great job,” my grandmother’s voice brings my attention back to the salad bowl in my hands, and I quickly bend to kiss her cheek as she continues, “better than any of your other cousins. They never help out.” 

“That’s because you pamper them too much, grandma,” I grin at her and follow her to the dining table where my aunts are already settling down amongst themselves. 

The evening passes by with good food and good company, the sky darkening and dotting with a veil of stars that has Kevin gawking in awe. I'm not surprised, you don't see skies like that anywhere, a sky that isn't so intoxicated with modern chemicals. My uncles take it upon themselves to introduce Kevin to all the types of Mauritian delicacies, such as chickpea fritters we call 'gato pima', small balls of graped choko vegetable and minced pork 'niouk yen', and to top it all off, a plate of cornmeal pudding also known as 'pudine mai' that makes Kevin's eyes go wide with surprise.

"This is dessert?" He holds it up in his hand, "with ...cornmeal?"

"Sure is," one of my aunts chime in with a smile, "made it just this morning."

It's past midnight when we get back to our little apartment with Emma's dress hanging off my arms, which Kevin doesn't hesitate to grab from my hold despite my protests. 

"It's fine dude," he flashes me a quick smile, albeit tired, and my heart does this weird little squeeze in my chest at his thoughtfulness. 

He's kind. Too kind. I really don't deserve someone like him. 

"I'm sorry," I say as we settle onto the small couch, shoulders fitted snugly against each other, "my family is kinda overwhelming."

"No no," Kevin looks over, edges of his lips curled up, "I actually love your family, you know."

My chest warms, "thanks."

There is a moment of silence that we enjoy, the day's events sinking into my bones. 

"Hey," he murmurs.

"Hm?"

My eyes slide over to catch his, dark pools glimmering with a certain softness that catches my attention. 

I bite my lip. It suddenly feels a little warm.

"What is it?" I ask, voice hoarse.

"Is oreo a sandwich?" 

I sit up so suddenly that I jostle him, "wait--what?"

He grins up at me with that little nose scrunch that I can't help but find endearing, "is oreo a sandwich?" I open my mouth to answer but he beats me to it, "is cereal a soup?"

"Stop."

Reclining back to lace his hands at the back of his head, he says, "is ketchup a smoothie?" 

"Stop it."

"What about hotdogs? Are they sandwiches?" He continues in a singsong voice and rolling my eyes, I make a move to punch him once more. But he's faster, hand shooting out to hold my wrists. He pulls me over and I stumble, knee pressing against the side of his leg. 

"Come on. Answer it," he wriggles his eyebrows.

"Nope."

“Don’t be a party pooper.” 

“You’re so annoying.” 

"Are you sick of me yet?" His face is so close that I notice the creases at the corner of his eyes when he smiles.

"That's an understatement."

"But really, do you think oreo is a sandwich?"

"No! Oreos are just oreos!"

“You’re no fun,” He pouts before finally releasing his hold. I draw back with a roll of my eyes, settling beside him once more and pillowing my head onto his shoulder.

Emma’s right. Kevin had sacrificed so much to be here with me, and he doesn’t even know Emma. Yet, he immediately dropped everything so that he could be my plus one, so that I wouldn’t have to face the music alone. The thought makes my heart swell with emotion and suddenly I’m all too aware of his presence beside me. 

I shift to gaze at him, eyes tracing the curve of his nose, the indent above his lips before I whisper, “hey Kevin.” 

“Hm?” 

“Why’d you come?” 

His eyes flicker over to mine then. A heartbeat passes. For a moment, I wonder if he can hear my heartbeat suddenly throbbing a little too loudly in my chest. 

“Good question.” 

Another pause. 

“That’s not an answer,” I laugh slightly, to show that it’s all just fun and games.

But when I catch his eyes next, there’s something else brimming in them. They’re tender with emotion and it catches me so off guard that I almost don’t catch his next set of words:

“Because I care about you.” 

My heart gives a quick lurch but I somehow can’t tear my gaze away. I want to say something. Anything. 

But all I can muster is a soft, “oh.” 

“Why do you ask?” he asks, voice hoarse.

I hesitate, “Emma asked why. And...I guess I wanted to know too.” 

“Oh.” 

The air feels heavy, heightened with the things that are threatening to slip off the edge of my tongue. A mixed series of ‘but why’s and ‘can’t you tell me more’ jumbling up my thoughts with so many possibilities that I decide to stay quiet for the sake of not ruining the moment. Because there’s this lingering fear that once I do say something, then it’ll just pull me down a rabbit hole that I can’t crawl out of, that the only escape lies on the other side.

And I don’t know if I want to take that leap yet. My heart is already so fragile with the aftermath of a love that went wrong. I don’t know how much more I can take. 

So I just stay quiet and let out a soft sigh, and though Kevin shifts as if he wants to say something, he doesn’t. The question just hangs there between us, in-between the slithers of moonlight and in the cold Moka air, like a perpetual ghost we ignore as we drift off to sleep.

----------

Something shifts between us after that. It’s unspoken of, but suddenly, I am all too aware of Kevin as a whole. Things that I hadn’t noticed before surface as we spend most of our free time visiting the rest of the island; like how he loves ruffling his hair whenever he feels uncomfortable, or the way his bicep curls as his arm drapes over the wheel with the barest hint of muscle that is enough to be attractive yet subtle, or how he smirks in that attractive way of his whenever he thinks something is undeniably adorable. 

The good thing about having Kevin is that I don’t get to think of him all too much, which is a blessing in itself. It’s been days since I’ve shed another tear and for that, I have to say I’m glad that I’m making progress.

We spent the last few days before the wedding traveling around the island to visit all the touristy spots that I know Kevin will enjoy, like a hike all the way to the top of Le Morne mountain, where I explain that’s where slaves would throw themselves off when their masters would find them. We visited Bois Cheri, a tea-making factory where Kevin had the pleasure of tasting all different kinds of teas cultivated in the fields below, and ate lunch on the Caudan Waterfront as we gazed at the boats lulling along the harbour. 

“Woah, this place makes me feel like I’m in Aladdin somehow,” Kevin’s mouth is wide agape as his eyes try to take in the endless racks of stands selling fresh fruits and vegetables of the day. The Port-Louis Bazaar has always been one of my favourite places to visit, but it’s also one of the busiest. Even now as we attempt to squeeze our way through, people are jostling us here and there, causing me to press my bag to my chest in case any pickpockets are nearby. I prompt Kevin to do the same. 

“Hey Y/N, I wanna check out the bags over there,” Kevin motions towards the hand-woven baskets situated at the far end of the market and I nod as we keep moving forward with the crowd like a pair of salmons trying to swim upstream. But there’s so many people, it’s so suffocating that it gets hard to keep up with Kevin’s figure. Someone elbows my shoulder and I groan, stumbling to the side in irritation, only to get pushed forward by another. 

“Seriously--” I curse under my breath, when a hand suddenly appears before my eyes.

Looking up to see Kevin’s outstretched arm, I am only greeted with his bashful smile and averted eyes. 

“Come on,” he doesn’t even wait for my consent before slipping his palm over my own and tugging me along, his hold firm and strong despite his skinny frame and the action is enough to render a flurry of butterflies soaring over my stomach. 

Stop, I try telling my subconscious. That does nothing, however, to stop my neck from tingling with unfamiliar heat. 

Kevin’s hand feels so warm. It’s comfortable, safe. 

And I’m liking it a little too much.

He doesn’t let go when we reach the desired stand and talk over which bag looks the best and keeps his hand in mine for the entirety of our journey back to the car. Only when I unlock the doors that his palm finally drops from my hold and air rushes over my palm that is now a little too cold without his warmth. But while a multitude of questions are burning the back of my throat, they fall apart halfway through at the thought of his answer, before I decide to drop it altogether. 

Kevin, on the other hand, doesn’t seem the least bit affected. 

When the day of the wedding finally rolls around, I drive my car to Emma’s after a quick breakfast that Kevin surprised me with -- to my surprise, he’d managed to make a decent eggs and toast without burning the place down -- so that I can help her get into her gown and more importantly so that she doesn’t run away, lest her mind goes in a frenzy at the thought of tying the knot. 

“You’ll be fine,” I reassure her, teasing a few of her curls so that they slip down to her chest in a perfect wave. She looks stunningly beautiful, with her strapless white dress that shimmers with diamonds in the light with every movement she makes. 

I reach out to smooth over her veil so that it falls on either side of her face, frames her perfectly, and notice her big brown eyes staring back at me through her vanity mirror. 

“You look beautiful,” I can’t keep the awe from my voice. 

Her face blossoms into a smile, “you too.” 

“Ah come on, you can’t say that to me on your wedding day,” I shove her playfully on the shoulder, “you’re the star of the show. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.” 

“Okay mom,” she rolls her eyes before changing the subject, “So, how have things been? With Kevin?” My hands freeze in mid-action, “It’s good.” 

I don’t have to look at her to know that she’s giving me a pointed look.

I sigh, “well, okay. Maybe you’re right. About the whole…’just friends’ thing not being true.” 

“Why?” she straightens up, turns to me, “what happened? Did you kiss? Did he make a move--” 

“No we didn’t kiss,” I’m quick to answer as my cheeks heat up. And after a few beats of hesitation, I give her a summary; the way he’d looked at me that night with eyes that held so much in them that it had made my chest swell, the way that he’d snitch glances at me whenever he thought I wasn’t paying attention, and the fact that he’d grabbed my hand and didn’t let go even long after the crowd wasn’t an issue anymore. 

Emma’s eyes are wide and sparkling with a feeling that I know all too well, I can practically see the cogs turning in her head and quickly shook mine in rapid retaliation, “Emma, no.” 

“But--But he’s perfect for you!” she bellows in protest, “What do you mean ‘no’?!” 

“I can’t go there. Not after,...not now, it’s too soon…” 

She rolls her eyes, “it’s not like he’s asking you to marry him, christ’s sake. He likes you, and I feel like you’re only trying to deprive yourself because you feel like it’s not right.” 

“It’s not right--”

“Who says so?” she cuts me off then, her gaze hardening on mine with such intensity it takes everything in me not to flinch back, “who says it’s not right? It doesn’t matter if it’s after two days, two weeks, two months. You think I don’t know how it feels to be heartbroken? You can’t just keep thinking about the past. You’re going to hurt yourself that way.” 

My teeth sink down onto my lower lip, her words like ice-cold knives aimed straight at my chest. 

“What you can control, right now, is the present, Y/N.” 

“I know,” I mumble out half-heartedly.

“I can see it, you know, the way he looks at you,” she shakes her head, “even if you don’t like him back, you gotta be aware of all that he’s done for you.” 

Her hands find their way to mine, enclosing them in her grasp before squeezing them with such care that I can’t stop the tears crawling up the back of my throat. 

“I’m sorry,” she murmurs next, “I don’t want to pressure you if that’s not how you feel. That--That was not my intention,” her eyes latch onto mine, filled with understanding, “I just want you to be happy.” 

Happy. 

That’s a word I haven’t heard in a long time. 

“Don’t you dare cry now,” Emma says while waving her hands around in warning, “you’re going to ruin your makeup and we definitely don’t want that.” 

I sniffle, trying my best to hold in the tears now brimming through my eyes, “you’re right,” I attempt to smile, albeit it’s wobbly, “we don’t.” 

“Come here,” she tugs my arm so that I fall into her embrace. Her head finds her way to my shoulder and she hugs me tight, not caring that her veil is getting all bunched up and wrinkled, “you’ll be okay,” she whispers, one hand stroking my back, “you’ll be just fine, little one.” 

Then, pulling back and pushing a few strands away from my face, she flashes a bright smile, “we should probably head to the church soon.” 

----------

“We now declare you, Vincent and Emma, as husband and wife.” 

The church explodes in a round of applause and I join in the clapping, furiously trying to keep the tears of joy at bay. Vincent has been there for Emma ever since they met at work and it has been the most beautiful love story ever since; filled with the purest kind of love no one can imagine. Beside me, I feel Kevin’s hand coming to squeeze my shoulder in a reassuring manner and I feel warm all over despite the rush of emotion in my heart. 

The wedding reception is to take place at a fancy restaurant overlooking the harbourfront. Our family has booked the venue for the evening, and as I enter, I take in the baby blue veils that come down each corner of the restaurant, sprinkles of glitter here and there as we make our way to our assigned tables that each have a baby blue napkin shaped in swans. 

I don’t even have time to place my butt down when I hear a voice call out, “Y/N! Look how big you’ve gotten!” 

Of course, big wedding ceremonies only mean that we get to meet all of our extended family that we haven’t seen since forever, and they’re all too happy to chat with me about living overseas. Soon enough, I’m bustled off to a table and look back over my shoulder to mouth a quick “I’m sorry” to Kevin. Bless his soul, for he only smiles and shakes his head, his hand motioning for me to go on.

I manage to catch up with cousins I haven’t seen since I was a little girl, talk over appetizers with excited aunts who want to know all about how it feels like to live away from family for such a long time, and nod along to the old uncles trying to get me to give a concrete answer about when and where will my wedding take place. 

“Come on Y/N! You’re the next one after Emma for sure,” one of my uncles bellow, face flushed red as a result of the glasses of wine he has downed like water. He is Emma’s father, no surprise that he’ll want to get drunk from happiness and pride. It is his daughter’s wedding after all. 

He leans close with a conspiratorial look in his eyes, “so tell me,” his eyes glance over to Kevin, currently deep in conversation with another one of my distant aunts. I watch as he says something to make her laugh, and something inside my chest warms at the action, “is he the lucky guy that’s going to ask for your hand?” 

“Do you think he’s the one?” another uncle pipes up. 

I purse my lips and attempt to shrug, “it’s early days,” I try laughing it off although it sounds forced, “who knows what can happen.” 

“He’s a good kid,” an aunt says, “you know how we all have this sixth sense? Well Y/N, I have a good feeling about this young man. Don’t let him go. Something tells me he’s a keeper.” 

A wild imaginative speculation, considering that we’re not even dating. But I nod along and say that yes, I’ll tell them whenever I decide to tie the knot.

It’s only when the dance floor opens and people start pooling onto the dance floor after the first dance -- led by no other than the bride and groom themselves -- that I finally allow myself to breathe. I find my way back to my chair, back to Kevin’s warm smile flashing in my direction as his eyes take in the fatigue lining my face. 

“You look like you could use a drink,” is the first thing he tells me the moment I plop my butt onto my designed seat, the one that’s been kept cold ever since I stepped foot into the dining hall. 

I gratefully accept the glass of wine he offers me, swallowing it down in a few gulps, “thanks,” I sigh with relief, “I needed that.” 

“How was catching up with family?” 

“It couldn’t be as bad as being left behind,” I peer over at him, guilt flooding me at the prospect of having left him all alone, “sorry. It’s just that everyone--” 

“Oh stop that,” Kevin nudges my shoulder with his, “don’t be sorry. It’s totally normal. I’m happy for you. And I wasn’t left behind. I had a wonderful time talking to your aunt. She seemed so happy to tell me what your childhood was like.”

“Bet you liked that, didn’t you?” 

“Hey, it works as blackmail. Why wouldn’t I like that?” 

“Dork.” 

“You’re friends with this dork.” 

“Oh piss off,” I slap his shoulder playfully in retaliation, causing him to laugh softly as we watch couples glide across the dance floor like swans over water. The lights have dimmed, the yellow hues now replaced by soft cool blues and purples that cause Emma’s dress to shimmer every time she turns. She’s absolutely stunningly beautiful, and the way she and Vincent are gazing at each other just scream of pure love that wraps around them in a golden mist so enchantingly beautiful that I find myself catching my breath in the back of my throat. 

“She’s so beautiful,” the words fall from my mouth without meaning to, and I feel Kevin’s eyes on my face from the corner of my peripheral.

“You are too.” 

I bite my lip and narrow my eyes at him playfully, “thanks, but why do I have a feeling that this isn’t a compliment?” 

“It isn’t,” he holds my gaze, “it’s just the truth.” 

Emotion lodges at the back of my throat. I stare at him. He stares back, a glimmer of tenderness echoing through the dark pools of black, his whole expression relaxed into a face that appears flooded with affection for--

Me. 

For some reason, no words seem to come to me as I open my mouth and close it. Embarrassment slowly bubbles through my stomach. I look away, unable to contain the goosebumps suddenly exploding across the back of my neck with that same familiar uncomfortable sensation I keep getting around him these days. Like I’m standing atop a cliff and preparing myself to jump.

“Wanna dance?” 

I blink in surprise, before turning to the said young man beside me who has his head cocked to the side with that same expression. My heart can’t help but squeeze inside my chest before I push down the rising protest searing through my brain. 

I nod. And off we go onto the dance floor. His hands settle on my waist, mine atop his shoulders in a casual sling. There’s enough distance between our bodies to show that we’re not together and yet, I can’t deny that electrical tension that keeps on pulling me towards Kevin like a magnet. I wonder if he feels it too, that searing heat that is so palpable I can feel sweat break out from the back of my neck. Asking, though, would mean that I’m aware of what’s happening, asking would imply that I want something to happen.

Maybe I do. 

Maybe I do want to grab life by the reins myself and steer it wherever I want it to go. 

“What are you thinking about?” 

I blink. Right up into Kevin’s brown orbs, his hair catching the shades of blue from the disco balls. My throat runs dry. 

“Uh--” my mind tries to scramble for a response, any response, “just--uhm, it’s kind of like our last day here.” 

He cocks his head, “sad?” 

“Kinda. I like it here,” my eyes brush over Emma and Vincent’s forms in the vicinity, catch my grandma sitting at one of the tables, little cousins running all over the place. Then, I look back at the said young man gazing at me with that undecipherable look in his eyes that makes my heart sing, and try not to squirm as I continue softly, “it feels like home.” 

“We can always come back,” he uses ‘we’ as though it’s now an adventure kept between the two of us, a secret to our own little neverland that nobody knows about. I can’t help but smile at the thought. 

“Do you want to come back?” I ask.

“Are you kidding? Hell yeah I want to come back. The views are amazing, the food is out of this world, and your family has been really kind to me.” 

“I’m sorry, they are kind of overbearing when you first get to know them.” 

“I love it,” Kevin says seriously, “I love that they’re overbearing. Couldn’t have asked for anything more.” 

If I had any doubts, the sincerity dripping from his eyes is enough to wipe out any suspicions left from his compliment. The sudden urge to hug him rocks through me and my hands fist on the back of his shirt in response. 

We keep on dancing silently, bobbing from one foot to another for a few minutes more before he speaks up softly. 

“Y/N?” 

“Hm?” 

“I wouldn't mind getting married here.” 

My eyebrows shoot up in surprise, “really now?” 

“Yup,” he grins, “really.” 

“Your future wife will have me to thank for that.” 

“Maybe my future wife won’t have to thank you.” 

There it is. That same borderline flirting that’s been happening for days on end. 

“And why is that?” I probe, partly just to tease him, and partly because I just want to know.

“Maybe she might be right here, in this room.” 

“Didn’t know you were into one of my cousins,” I start looking around the room, only for one of his hands to cup my cheek to turn my face back to his. 

There is none of that teasing glimmer now. His eyes are darker, gazing down at me with such emotion that the breath catches in the back of my throat and the air halts in my lungs. We gaze at each other for a few beats longer, before I feel his thumb graze my cheek. Gently, so gently like he’d stroke a flower petal. 

Swallowing at the heat of his hand cupping the side of my face, my hands unconsciously tighten on the back of his neck. He senses my nervousness, but only pulls me slightly closer so that we are mere millimeters from each other, noses hovering over each other in a space that causes my heart to stutter inside my chest. 

When he opens his mouth next, his alto is hoarse, pent-up with emotion. 

“I wasn’t talking about your cousins.” 

My heart practically jumps to my throat, teeth biting onto my lip. 

I can’t hear the music, nor the people. I can’t hear anything except for my pounding heart and Kevin’s soft breaths washing over my face. 

His eyes search mine and we hold gazes for a moment too long.

“Y/N?” 

I press my lips together, “Y-Yes?” 

He moves even closer then so that his nose brushes mine in the most intimate of ways. 

“I--” 

“Y/N! I was looking all over for you!” 

We spring apart like we just got burnt just in time for one of my cousins to grab onto my arm. He sends an apologetic smile at Kevin, before explaining, “we just need to sort out the takeaways. She’ll be back in a second!” 

And without listening to my protests, he proceeds to drag me away from the said young man on the dancefloor. I look back, mouthing an ‘I’m sorry” once more -- it’s the second time that night!-- and see the raven-haired man laugh good-naturedly before shaking his head and waving me away. That does nothing to keep my heart from cartwheeling out of my chest, swelling up with such affection that I grin back despite the earlier predicament. 

One thing’s for sure: I’m not done talking with Kevin Moon yet. 

----------

I find him sitting alone in the tiny garden that overlooks the decorated pavillon a few hours later. His figure, illuminated by the soft yellow hues of interior light, seems to glow in the dark, the moon bouncing off his hair and catching the strength of his cheekbone when he turns and catches me staring. He only smiles though -- that beautiful tender smile that I keep seeing more and more these days -- before waving me over. 

“What are you doing out here all alone?” I ask as I reach his figure. A soft breeze dances along the back of my spine, cool in contrast to the warm stickiness of the air. 

“Your smaller cousin was showing me what she’d learnt in astronomy at her school,” he tilts his head up at the sky, “she’s quite the prodigy at that.” 

“The next woman to land on the moon,” I joke.

“Jeez, I should get her autograph.” 

“Wise idea,” that’s when I feel his hand slip into mine and I look down at him, blinking. He grins a little shyly, before tugging me forward so that I all but stumble right into him, halfway sprawled across his lap. 

Heat explodes through my chest at the proximity of our bodies and I can’t help but avert my gaze from his, partly embarrassed that maybe there might be someone around to see, and partly because it’s only recently that I’ve started seeing Kevin in a new light that being so close makes my heart choke up and my mind to run blank. 

We’re close. So close I feel his breath mingle with mine. My hands settle atop his chest lightly, “Kev,” I breathe out but nothing follows, too scared to verbally voice out what is going on for fear that it might all crumble into nothing. 

I don’t want false hope. I also don’t want his heart -- or mine -- to break. 

This friendship is too precious to let go. I can’t imagine a life without Kevin in it.

“Listen Y/N,” Kevin’s voice is soft, a hushed murmur resonating through his chest as his eyes search mine, “I think we both know what’s happening here.” 

I nod mutely. 

Taking a shaky breath, he continues, “I don’t want to do anything that will hurt you. I know it’s been tough and that you’re still healing. I just--I just want to know.” 

As his words wash over me as gently as the forest leaves rustling around us, I feel the warmth of his hand cupping my cheek, holding me like I am fine china and stroking my skin with his thumb so that butterflies suddenly rush along my middle.

I bite my lip so hard I can taste blood, " I-- well, I think you already know how I feel."

"I know," he breathes, "but I need to hear it from you."

As if it isn't hard enough to come face to face with my own feelings, having Kevin stare me down as though I put the moon in his sky makes me want to squirm with a mixture of embarrassment and excitement. 

“I like you,” I blurt out then, “a lot.” 

There is a few seconds delay, before a shit-- eating grin --the biggest I’ve ever seen -- spreads across Kevin’s face like sunshine peeking through the clouds.

“Enough for us to go on a date?”

I nod mutely. I don’t trust my voice, not right now when I already feel so pathetic. Kevin’s grin softens into a tender smile, one that I can’t help but return when our eyes meet in the most intimate of ways. Suddenly, the air feels charged and alive with electricity, the heat between our bodies palpable as his hand moves to the back of my neck. 

He tugs. I follow. 

His lips find mine mid-way in a delicate kiss. 

It’s soft. Softer than any kiss I’ve ever had. Kevin’s mouth parts over my own in a gentle caress, before he tilts his head to the side and captures my lower lip between his. 

I gasp slightly at the contact, hands unconsciously tightening around his neck. 

Slowly leaning away, I notice the film of lust like a dull glow at the back of his maroon orbs, just the slightest hint that he wants me as a woman. And that makes my lungs constrict, air suddenly halting in the back of my throat.

My skin is prickling with the aftermath of his touch. I let out a soft breath before he covers my mouth with his once more and all thoughts fly out of my brain the moment he does. 

I don’t really know how long we spend outside, exchanging the softest of kisses underneath the moonlight, until I hear the soft exclamations of my family’s voices suggesting that it is time to head home. So I part from the said man and can’t help but blush at the lack of space between our bodies.

“We should probably head back,” I hate how wanton I sound, like I’ve just sprinted a mile when in truth I’ve been sitting in this very spot for the last hour.

He agrees and I descend from his lap, his hand subtly finding mine as we walk back to the wedding hall. 

Emma is still saying her goodbyes, her hair now dotted with glitter, probably from the decorations that my younger cousins took pleasure in bathing her in. Her face lights up as soon as she spots our entwined hands and I try not to meet her eyes for I know exactly the kind of smug look she'll be giving me. 

"Enjoyed the wedding?" She says as soon as we're within earshot.

"That must've been the best cake I've had in my life," Kevin lets out a dramatic sigh, "and that says something."

"Do I trust your taste buds though?" She teases.

"I'd be offended if you didn't," he gasped in mock offense, before they both break into playful chuckles.

As we exchange our goodbyes and Vincent engages Kevin in a conversation, Emma takes this chance to drag me to her side as she whispers, "so you gonna tell me the tea or am I going to have to extract it from you?"

I press my lips together as I try to control the heat searing through the back of my neck, "...we kissed."

She gasps, "No way! OH MY GOD! Are you guys a thing then?!" The answer is as clear as water on my face and she clamps a hand over her mouth, would've jumped up and down if she could've, "OH MY, OH MY GOD. I knew it! I just knew this was going to happen--"

"Shut up!" I hiss, scared that Kevin might overhear and think I'm a big fat tattle tale. My eyes quickly swivel over to his and I'm glad to find his head bent towards Vincent in concentration. 

"You need to tell me everything," Emma's eyes are sparkling, "like--as soon as you have some free time."

"You--" I send her a pointed look, then jerk my head at Vincent, "--need to tell me everything."

"Oh I will, don't worry."

"Anyway, I'll talk to you after your honeymoon."

"Okay," I turn around to find Kevin, not failing to notice the smirk playing on Emma's lips. I slap her arm in response, causing her to laugh before she calls out: 

"Don't forget to use protection!"

-----------

"We'll come back right?"

That's the first thing that Kevin states as soon as we step inside security, away from the tears of my family that I just left behind a few seconds ago. My heart still aches when I think of their faces, all crumpled and blinking at me with tissues in hand and noses as red as traffic lights. But I seek comfort upon feeling Kevin's hand slip through mine as we walk towards our destined gate. 

"Sure," I look at him; at his red-tinted cheeks (probably the aftermath of a sunburn), his newly tanned skin a fresh contrast against his white shirt, and the permanent grin that seems impossible to wipe off his face. My heart instantly flutters.

It's only been a few days since we've confessed our growing romantic interest in each other, but I can already feel the weight of his love pouring out of his heart and into mine the moment he realized that my arms would be there to catch him when he fell.

"I'm not going to wake up to an empty bed tomorrow morning, am I?" He’d joked when we stumbled, half-asleep, into Emma's flat after the wedding. 

I frowned at him, "Why would you think that?"

"Just in case you think that kissing me was a mistake."

A small pause ensued, in which I realized that despite all my fears and all the pain I had been carrying in my heart ever since we landed on my motherland, I had not once considered how Kevin might be feeling at this very moment. 

My eyes quickly took note of his countenance, sweeping right up to his face only to notice the flash of vulnerability in his eyes, the way the corners of his mouth were tense, cheekbones taught against his skin as he awaited for my answer with baited breath. 

Clearing my throat, I whispered, "it wasn't."

A soft smile tugged at his lips, "good to know."

His answer seemed so genuine, so wholehearted that my chest tightened in a mixture of gratefulness and affection, so much so that my arms automatically reached for him to tug him close. My nose found its rightful place at his neck and I breathed in his comforting  lilac smell that I enjoyed so much.

I felt him take a breath. Then, softly, a hand caressed the back of my head. I buried even closer if that was possible.

"I really want this to work," my words were a muffled mess and I was surprised that he understood.

"Me too," he murmured into my hair, "and it will work. I promise I won't break your heart Y/N."

Looking back now at this tender moment in which we both weren't certain of where we were stepping, I can't help but laugh at the thought, for now the love and attraction is so natural I'm amazed it has taken this long to flourish. 

Maybe I hadn't been looking the right way. Maybe I had been searching so far out and wide that I hadn't noticed that my safe harbour is the one standing right beside me.

"Hey Kevin," I call out.

Kevin turns towards me, where he'd been watching planes take off from the ground into the gorgeously blue sunny sky.

"Yeah?" 

“I’m really glad you came.” 

There's a few beats of silence although his mouth immediately cracks into that gorgeous, crooked grin of his that I adore so much. 

“Me too.” 

----

[fieryhonesty]

The life of You

[AO3]

Words: 3619

You and the traveler accompanied by his floating friend were nearly close to your final destination. Passing through the entire Liyue, taking a short stop to relax a bit here and now. Enjoying the view at the marvelous land. It never stops to amaze you how beautiful the sunsets are when you can observe how the sun is disappearing behind the mountains.

Liking more Monds as it was a more free and easy going country. The green everywhere was easy on your eyes and overall didn't remind you all that stress tied to business. However you have to admit some parts of Liyue are way too pretty. Perhaps one day you could visit those pretty spots with your friends.

Having a nice walk and observing the never stop to amaze you lands. Some special kinds of flowers and herbs grow only here. Animals you can't see in the anemo Archon domain. Simply put, this is an experience one has to feel and see at least once in their life. 

You made sure not to wander too far away from the main road. Being pressed by time and distance was one thing. Being lost in the middle of somewhere was another. You sure knew your way in Liyue but mostly around habited areas. Not really have spare time to explore the land in detail.

Sometimes you had a short trip around here and there, in presence of other people. Those trips were mostly to bring you and your employees closer and take a break from all of that exhaustion. 

It's really sad how people in Liyue are different from people in Mondstadt. They are always in a rush, stressed out and business is always on their minds. However they are also willing to help with anything related to their field of expertise. 

Can't choose between this and that? Or not sure if this would be a good deal? Well you can be sure they will shower you with advices. However be aware of smooth talkers. They know a lot and know how to make one agree and probably buy more than they were willing at the start.

After all it is all just a part of the never ending flow of contracts. Tied to mora exchange and customer's satisfaction. You were sometimes thinking if Liyue being mostly yellow has something to do with currency. This color is so dominant here, everywhere. One would think leaves and grass is dying but it was healthy just like everywhere else. 

Mora is yellow, Liyue is land of contracts. Money is flowing in and out. This surely can't be coincidence, Morax must have been really smart back then.

You guys were close to Harbor's gates, a few more steps and you could see the entire city. One side enveloping it with azure blue sea, ships being docked in harbor. Supplies being carried out or in, depends on the ship's purpose and destination. Also there were smaller boats as well. Those were personal ones, more than for transport they were for amusement of their owners. 

You often heard about wedding proposals being made at those cute boats. Also there were people who used those boats for business, they transported people between north and south Liyue. It was sort of a trip one could say.

Hearing amazed 'wow' from your companions, turning to them with a smile on your lips.

"Just wait for the night. Then it gets super pretty but also really hectic. As that's the time where citizens are really free from their responsibilities and can enjoy free time." 

"Paimon can't wait to see all those stalls with delicious food!"

You chuckled at her remarks. Not needing to spend too much time with them to know the floating girl is easily manipulated when it comes to food. Just a mention of it and she is all yours. When you said about local specialities her eyes were beaming with excitement. 

By the look at Aether's expression, that was just a normal thing he got used to. As he had to get used to Paimon's big mouth. On your way here, to be more precise when you passed the middle part of Liyue. You came across some beggars. Asking for spare coins. You are still unsure about being glad for what Paimon said or not.

If it weren't for her you two might have got robbed. It turned out to be a bunch of treasure hoarders, not poor beggars barely living. When they found out both of you are carrying weapons and can channel elemental energy. They rather backed out of the trouble.

"Well then, let's head down. Shall we?" 

And so all of you slowly descended down, crossed the city's gate. Passing through streets and making sure the two are following you. Getting lost here is quite easy. 

As you arrived with one day spare, you could have just breathe out and rest for today. The rite will be held tomorrow. The question is what now? Turning to your companions.

"I'm hungry, fancy to get some food?" 

You didn't have to ask twice. Especially when it came to Paimon who was just excited flying around. Checking on stalls and observing various things. The street you were in was mostly for small merchants, selling their handmade goods. Be it art, jewelry, porcelain or those cute paperweight things. Often having sea and boats inside of them.

Moving to the next street which was purely dedicated to kid's enjoyment. Various toys shops and things which sometimes were too inviting even for yourself. You can just silently applaud those toys makers. If an adult like you has a hard time then what about the kids?

Quickly making your way to the small square which was dividing enjoyment shops from more practical ones. Such as herbalists, perfumes, food shops and also some kid's forbidden places. Starting with bars and ending with places you rather not want to think of ever entering. Otherwise you'd die in shame. 

Leading the way to your favorite shop. Knowing your friends probably won't know how to use chopsticks, it will be better to grab some finger food. Sweet dumplings, regular dumplings filled with various things, fried meat. Heck they even sell fries here which you thought it would be only in Mondstadt. 

Once you have all of your food, you have moved to a quieter place. A park with a lot of ponds, lotuses in, fish literally swimming under your feet as you were crossing via the small bridge. Sitting in the least busy place. It was just afternoon and there were already enough people to make you feel uncomfortable. Luckily you are used to crowds now.

With stuffed bellies you guys were barely able to move so you decided to sit around for a bit more. You explain them basics about the city. Like where to go if they'd need this or that. How to avoid being scammed. Liyue might be the land of contracts, one still has to negotiate about prices. People will always try to nudge prices in their profit.

"Paimon wonders. We have been around every major street and miss y/n told us about important places but..." 

She scratched her head.

"Where's your business?" Tilting her head to the side while making 'hmm' noise. Which immediately Aether joined in. 

You didn't plan to show them the building where your now middle sized company was residing in. For some reason you felt uneasy about showing your friends. You still didn't like the fact of inheriting it but at least it's in better shape than before.

As the previous owner was barely able to sign contracts and fulfill her duties. It was slowly fading, many employees had left the company. Also there was a debt written in its name. 

You didn't know why exactly you just didn't turn away and leave. It was none of your business. It was her mess. But somehow you decided to stay and help. It was awkward, especially meeting the dying woman. But you hold back your grudge and remarks. 

You knew it won't be an easy task especially after seeing what has happened in a very short period of time. First of all you needed to gain some trust from the remaining employees. To them you were nobody. Well. It wasn't far away from reality.

You were just a teenager who wanted to train and become a guardian of the city. Perhaps later on find somebody to get laid with and have a happy family. More happier than you had. But that all was taken away or so you thought.

However as the time passed you realized something. One can still be a guardian without having the title. When the debt collector came everyone was scared and shaken. There was no doubt about it might end up pretty bad for everyone present including you. But you played it smart, managing to convince the debt collector about giving you a bit more time.

It was the last chance you will get, he said before leaving. You were shaking and felt like vomiting. But at the same time proud of your smooth talk to get your through it. One thing you could thank to a certain bluenette. 

Since that day you got more trust from employees. It no longer being just the assistant who stood by you, willing to help. With a young mind and great ideas you managed to slowly but surely get the company back to functioning. Guided by your assistant who happens to have enough experience to actually lead the company. But for whatever reason she was not named as the next successor. 

You never felt any hateful feelings from her or desire to take the post from you. If anything she is keeping everything under control and is really modest. Admitting just half for her effort no matter what you said. 

It took over three years to fully recover for the company and be able to compete with others. Or at least partially. No longer being in debt and haunted by the Fatui agents. However to prove the company's worth you had to make a bigger showcase. Everyone was able to attend and observe. Enjoy the food and drinks. The event cost quite a bit but in the long run it turned out to be very worth it.

Eventually getting more offers for material, more interest from not only people from Liyue but also from Inazuma. However that didn't last long as it one day became completely locked away from the world. You really liked the direction where everything was going, nearly forgetting about your life in Mondstadt.

Warming up to people, growing fond of them. It was no surprise to see you spend time after work with some of your employees. Going to a tea house or dinner. Despite you being overly busy you still found some free time to hone your swordsmanship. You still wanted to be able to protect the weak. 

One night after a very long and tiresome week you found yourself staring at the clear night sky. You just finished one of your training. The sky was so nice, the stars being so bright. You wondered if they are looking at the sky right now. If you do see the same thing.

You were one of those people who were forced to grow up and become an adult quickly. Acting like a grown up despite being still pretty young and inexperienced. If it weren't for Mrs. Yue you'd be doomed. Also many others who often offered help. You liked those people but never admitted it aloud. 

When one day supplies didn't arrive in time, nor any message about delay. You got worried about what could have happened. The road which you chose was relatively safe and there were loaned guards for the cart. Something inside of you was telling you to take a look at it. 

Taking your trustworthy sword, leaving a message for Yue who happened not being present at that moment. So when she arrives at the office she would know. There was also stated if you don't return until noon, she will have to alert Millelith.

Just as if you knew. It didn't take long until you found a damaged cart and unconscious guards. However your people were missing, supplies being destroyed. Looking around and noticing tracks. 

The further you follow the more you know you are being lured into a trap. When you entered a place covered by an obvious illusion, you knew there's something really wrong and you just couldn't leave it be. Finding your way around, coming across cocoons. Hearing silent cries coming out of them.

Just when you tore through one of them and saw one of your employees. You realized what made those cocoons. Freeing them out. They were exhausted and pale. However fear allowed them to push forward and retreat from that place. But you did not. 

You knew the thing might attack again. Somebody else who won't be that lucky as your people. Giving them a reassuring smile, saying that you will be alright and they should have enough time to get back to cart. With some luck Millelith will be there already, taking care of them. 

Turning back and running deeper into the weird hive. Just then you realized how much naive and stupid you were. Risking your life just like this. Could it be bravery? Or just being a complete fool? Probably the latter. Your sword skills were impressive however facing the beast proved you were not strong enough. 

You could feel how your life energy was leaving your body during the encounter. You will die here. But you didn't care. You were devoted and wanted to protect. You got poisoned in the middle of the fight. As the poison was slowly spreading across your system. Fingers becoming numb.

You were half accepting the truth of never making it back. To never see any of the people who you consider close to you. To never see your employees' faces. Or never held a party to celebrate somebody's birthday. Or never be able to chase your dreams.

Just when you thought 'that's it I die here' you felt intense energy surging through your body. You could feel how it was encouraging and empowering you enough to rise up, avoid the fatal hit. It was like just all the fatigue has left your body. The poison was no longer effective. 

Swinging your sword, a wave of elemental energy being released. It cut through the beast's thick shell. It surprised you to see what happened but not letting it take over. You thought of channeling more of this weird yet powerful energy. It felt cold but at the same time warm. It might be because your body is getting confused over all of this elemental power, flowing through you.

As you rushed forward with cry, your blade met with the beast's arm. Cutting it off like it was a butter, following to its face. You cut through the entire thing, leaving a crystal like pattern behind. Was it ice? The beast has fallen with a loud and dull noise. 

Looking around, the place was covered in icy fragments. Surely the place didn't look like this before. Glancing down at your hand as you felt something appeared in it. A turquoise orb with a snowflake symbol, socketed into a silver frame with a pair of small wings on bottom at each side.

You knew what it was. Taking a hold on it and looking up. You never thought of ever receiving your own vision. Never feeling worthy to have one. Yet the cryo Archon thought otherwise. 

You did not remember how you got out of that place or what followed. Your body was exhausted and all you know is you will live to tell the tale. Whatever happened you just pushed it away, thinking it was the remaining strength you had, carrying you to safety.

Finger snapping brought you back to reality. Making you realize you had spaced out. Giving apologetic smiles to your already worried companions.

"Gosh. We thought you got possessed by something! We kept calling for you but you didn't respond!" 

Poor boy. His voice was worried and by the expression Paimon was making she was not feeling any better.

"Ah yes. I uh... Something crossed my mind, sorry about that, haha!"

Your eyes dropped down as you nervously fiddled with your fingers. They really want to see your workplace. Letting out a sigh. This had to come eventually. It's not like being ashamed or something, just feeling nervous.

"Alright then. I'll show you, with some luck we might catch up with my assistant so I could introduce you.~"

meeting with yue, talking about the stormterror, skip, rite and inspection, later the day meet traveler talking with tart and be not so nice cuz he fatui have some not really warm talk between you two, offering aether new clothes, then leaving after yue cuz you were going to tea house lol

The building was quite far away from the center. Hidden between two bigger ones, making it look smaller than it actually was. The receptionist was already gone. However people from security who were counting their last minutes for today greeted you with a bow. You motioned to them and kept walking with your friends right behind you.

"So this is the main hall where clothings get sewed together, the opposite doors are where all the fabric cutting happens. And the last door at the end of the corridor is the warehouse. We have another one on the upper floor, but that's for cleaning items only." 

Leading them around, letting them inside to check stuff from close distance. You even met somebody who was going home late, wishing them a nice evening. 

As the building seemed to be quite small from outside, there were many rooms inside. And even more things stuffed in.

"What's this room for?"

The blonde asked while he stood in front of the nameless door. Whilst you just chuckled.

"Some call it a relaxing room, others a sleepy room. It's just to assure nobody gets overly overworked. I know some people stay here until evening despite their work hours ends in mid afternoon." 

Both Aether and Paimon's lips are curling into an 'o'. Probably they did not expect to come across such a room like this. They followed you to your office. Well the office you shared with your assistant.

When you opened the door you found the lady sitting behind the table. She looked up and her eyes sparkled with joy. Getting up and coming closer to embrace you as always.

"Welcome back Lady y/n! I did not expect you to come this week!" 

You returned the embrace as it was something you always do with her. She was like a close friend to you despite the age difference between the two of you. She might have two kids around age of 10 but she is still looking so young and pretty. Also she loves to spoil you like you are one of hers.

"Mrs. Yue this is Aether and his friend Paimon I told you about during my last visit. Aether, Paimon this is Mrs. Yuefeng, my assistant and probably the main pillar of this company."

It was hilarious to observe how the two of them didn't know the greeting here. Trying to mimic what Yue did. 

"Welcome at Qingshan Clothing! You are indeed very cute as Lady y/n said, hmm maybe too much."

Your eyes glancing between her and Aether, mouth partially opened to say something. Coughing away the awkwardness. 

"Please don't mind it. Everyone's cute in her eyes. At least everyone who is younger, which is practically all of us."

"Mmmh! Indeed! You are cute kiddies. I can't believe you are the ones who saved Mondstadt from the Stormterror. You look so innocent but you know what they say. Don't judge a book by its cover."

Yue giggled at her own remark. She was always like this, it was hard to believe such a nice lady like herself can deal with rough business so flawlessly. You glanced over at the table, noticing the mountain of paperwork.

"Well it's getting late. How about you go home my friend? I told you several times not to stay overtime." 

It felt weird to actually lecture a woman who could be acting as your mother but you had no choice. She smiled at you with a tired face.

"I hate to break it to you but this is urgent and has to be done by tomorrow morning. We were stressing about finishing the order in ti-"

"And that's exactly why I order you now to pack your stuff and go home. Relax. Enjoy kiddies and your husband. I'll finish it."

You gave up on having the entire evening free but oh boy you hated people working overtime. Why people can't just chill out. Always in stress and rush.

"But Lady..." She didn't finish her sentence. Your expression was more than serious. 

"Very well. Thank you, I'll treat you tomorrow for some tea. Oh! The rite! We could go there together and after it ends we will crash at our usual spot!" 

Well not like you had something against it. You came here mainly because of the rite. Everything else was just convenient enough, happening along the way. Entrusting Aether with Paimon to Yue's care. As she could take them to an inn. Observing how they disappeared behind a corner. 'I hate this work so much... I wonder if Diluc also has to deal with stuff like this or has people for it.’

Previous ✨ Next

[pandjseetheworld]

Backpacking Glacier

Day 3 in Glacier Continued…

Day 1 Backpacking

After parking the car next to the trailhead we gathered our gear and headed on the the trail. We were so excited to get going that we completely forgot to eat lunch so by mile 2 we realized we were hiking on breakfast only! We felt weak for just starting out but thankfully we only had to hike 6 miles this afternoon. About 4.5 miles in there was a sign for Twin Falls so of course we took a quick detour. And wow, these falls were stunning! And for the first time we made it to a beautiful spot that wasn’t swarmed with people making it even more majestic. My pinkie toe was rubbing and I was already getting a tiny blister so I switched into my sandals for the remainder of the hike (1.5 to go).

It was dusk by the time we were nearing our campground, with Pearce in the lead he quietly and quickly says “Moose!” Holy Moly, I was about to jump out of my sandals!!! There was a bull moose not but 50 feet from us! I swear to you it was Bullwinkle! This guys antlers were HUGE and he was just chowing down on some dinner, which we could relate because we were starving! This was by far the closest I have ever come to such a large animal. Pearce and I both looked at each other like… ughhhh what to we do now, the Ranger video didn’t mention how to get around a moose haha so we just made ourself known and slowly walked around him. Pearce was on guard with his bear spray out though, realll prepared! Several people we met along the way told us that a moose is more dangerous than a bear because they are huge and dumb. They will just charge for no reason so we should always keep a rock or tree between us and the moose. We were fine but I was on a high from seeing him so close! It was awesome!!

After our moose encounter, we continued on to our campground. It had 4 sites and was completely filled up. There was a pit toilet, bear box, and communal food area. Pretty nice amenities for being in the backcountry, I was impressed! The first thing we were told to do upon arriving at camp is to put your food and anything smelly in the bear box. This was there is only one area that smells (makes sense). So we dropped all our food off and headed to set up camp. Our campsite was nicely laid out with a flat area for our tent. Truly these campsites were impressive. Finally, the time had come to eat! We were both ravenous and probably would have eaten a bear if we saw one but instead we stuck with our dehydrated meals, equally as yummy and filling! You had to cook in the communal food area and the other groups were there eating too. It was nice to mingle with the other folks and hear about where they camped and their stories. It had a hostel vibe which was enjoyable and made me feel a little safer knowing we weren’t the only ones out there. If a bear were to eat us, someone would surely hear. At least that’s what I told myself before going to bed!!

Day 4 in Glacier

Day 2 Backpacking

Today was the longest day we’ve hiked thus far on our whole entire trip. In total it was only a 12 mile day but it had a 3600ft vertical incline! Now, these numbers were not pitched to me before hiking, I was only informed of this during and post hike for good reason! It was not the easiest day but you know what they say, “nothing worthwhile comes easy!” And it was very worthwhile!

After packing up camp and having some yummy freeze dried breakfast (it’s actually good if you haven’t tried it you should), we headed back on the trail. After the hype of the moose yesterday and talking to people at breakfast I was really hoping to see a moose swimming. Apparently it’s more common than it seems. And low and behold, not but a mile from leaving out campsite there was a cow moose in the lake we were hiking next to!! I was beside myself! The moose wasn’t swimming but still, he was in the water hanging out!! It was a perfect boost to get us going on the difficult day!

On our way up, up, and up we passed another little lake called No Name Lake and saw a big horn sheep along the way. After No Name Lake there was no looking back, we were heading to the clouds. Straight to the clouds, at a steep vertical incline! Of course picking huckleberries along the trail gave us some rest breaks and every now and again we’d have to stop to look back at what we had just climbed. It seemed endless at some points but with one foot in front of the other it wasn’t too bad. About 2 hours up and we hit Dawson’s pass. It was Windy City because at the Peak the Mtn’s opened up to the heavens. It was incredible! We had to hide behind a rock wind blocker for lunch but would step out to check the views every now and again. It was magnificent and the visibility was pretty good!

At Dawson’s Pass, I was thinking our incline would be over and we’d start our decent but I was wrong. We walked along the ridge line of the mtn for 2+ miles taking in the views and carefully placing each foot down. In come places we’d be walking along a rock slide that had been flattened about a foot across to serve as the trail. Vertical rock slide on one side and death with one wrong step. It was hard to look any where aside from at the trail on those sections but the views we jaw dropping! Fear met beauty at those moments and it was a wonderful rush!

We walked along the ridge to a second pass the Pitamakan Pass. This was equally as gorgeous but now we could look down at Old Man Lake and see the campground we were staying it. The wind picked up as we continued down into our campground but thankfully we weren’t on the edge of the mountain any more.

After arriving at Old Man Lake Campground we hung our food up, they provided a high food pole for us, and scoped out the camp sites. We got a nice site but there wasn’t any tree coverage and we were pretty open to the elements. For our wedding we got a super nice light weight backpacking tent that’s been fabulous for our backpacking trips but not the best in the wind. At night there were gale force winds that swept through the lake and pass and nearly broke our tent. The winds also stirred up and blew the dust and dirt so when we woke up the next morning everything had a fine layer of dirt. I cannot say it was the best night of sleep I have ever had but it was definitely a cool spot!

Day 5 in Glacier

Day 3 of Backpacking

The next morning I woke up and was ready to go. I was covered in dust, had little rest, and I was best from yesterday’s hike. So we had a quick breakfast and hiked out as soon as possible. Another 6 miles down hill and back to Two Medicine and we were done! The views on the way down were amazing and it was neat to look back at the mountains and think I walked along that ridge line! This trip was incredible and made Glacier a pretty impressive park in our opinions!

Since everything had a fine layer of dust on it, when we got to the car we unpacked our gear and wiped it down then repacked everything into its right place in the car. The wind may have been a pain the ass for us but it did wonders for the visibility. We decided to take the long route around and give the Going-to-the-Sun road a fourth chance. And I am so glad we did. The wind blew out all the smoke and it was perfect visibility! We could now see the vast amount of waterfalls and canyons off the road. The colors were popping with greens from the trees to blues from the glacier water . Finally we understood the hype to this road! It was very cool and I’m glad we didn’t give up after our first day in the park!

It was time to pick up Mr. Loki and run a bunch of errands in Kalispell and Whitefish before our next adventure to Canada. I just want to add that Whitefish Montana is absolutely adorable and if you ever get the chance to go to Glacier make sure to stop there. It’s a quaint little mountain country town that’s got lots of fun shopping and restaurants! Worth the stop!!

[speaknowslut13]

Lovely Lauren! ✨ (I’ll do some alliteration too hehe so no I don’t think it’s weird 🤪)

No worries at all, I’m just glad tumblr didn’t eat it 😅 congratulations on cleaning your room, that can sometimes feel like such a monumental task!!

And thank you!! 🥰 I didn’t even have too many bad side effects, other than some slight pain in my arm and being incredibly tired for a few days (but then again I’m always tired so is it fair to blame that on the vaccine lol 🤔)

You’re very welcome! And it is so important for the younger generations, I always try to model inclusivity for my students and I hope that I’m succeeding but at the very least I’m trying.

I think with a lot of arts and humanities subjects, but especially with writing, people tend to underestimate the effort that actually goes into the craft until they actually try it. I also love reading sonnets but I’m not a huge fan of writing them because they are so hard 🥲

to narrow down the categories a bit, do you have a favorite sonnet? What is the poem you would want read at your funeral?

I totally agree, there’s a difference between getting dark and using humor as a coping mechanism for difficult things versus using it to be mean and malicious but writing it off as “haha just a joke!” 🙄

I also despise economics haha would prefer if the made up little numbers did NOT control our lives but alas! If you were to someday own your own business, what kind of business would it be??

I don’t think I’ve asked before, so what kind of work does your husband do? That’s really unfortunate about the state of the records, I’m sorry that’s the situation and hope it all works out for the best should either of you decide to go back!!

Ohhh I also have a hidden objects game that I like to play! It’s called Manor Matters, and I like that one and Gardenscapes because there’s a storyline to them so it feels more engaging than just playing the game part. I mostly like to play on the train or the bus haha.

Totally fair, being in somebody’s wedding can be very stressful. Is your sister older or younger? I have several close friends getting married this summer but I’m not able to attend because of travel restrictions which kind of bums me out. I think lacy dresses are so gorgeous!! I truly hope that you’ll be able to have that someday 🥰

Your chair sounds fabulous, it’s so nice to have a good non bed lounging spot!! I’m thinking of rearranging the furniture in my room because I’m kind of bored with the layout and maybe even getting a few new items of furniture (I’m in desperate need of a bookshelf rn) so I’ll keep you updated on how that goes.

Sunflowers are one of my favorite flowers! And I love seeing dandelions first pop up in the spring, such a nice burst of color after winter. Pink is such a fun color, I loved the “dusty pastel” color trend a few years ago and had so many dusty rose clothes hahah.

Ohhh I haven’t watched H2O in forever!! When I was in high school I babysat for this family pretty consistently and the daughter loved it so we watched it a lot together. Might be fun to watch again! What’s your favorite marvel movie? I’ve never really been able to get into it but my students love it so I promised them if we went into another lockdown I would make it my quarantine project to watch the whole franchise lol.

I’m so glad you were able to see your friend!! Are your kids close in age?

I did get my insurance sorted out thankfully and I even got in my chill walk! AND I went to the pool with a friend this week, so that was excellent. If I’m feeling up to it this weekend I’m planning on taking a hike up to a lake to go swimming and read! The weather has finally warmed up here after a month straight of rain 🌞

Sending you hugs! Xoxo 💖 Drew

Drew, my love! I love how your weekend turned out for you! Send some rain to Az for me, eh? Specifically the Phoenix area. A couple of nights ago we had something called a heat burst happen over my house. I didn’t know that was a thing until last night. But basically the temp skyrocketed suddenly at nine pm to triple digits. Plus, since it’s fire season, we’ve got all this lovely smoke trapping in the pollution. We’re under heat advisory too right now, so we have been stuck inside all week. No swimming. And definitely no going out of it can be helped. I live in hell.

The kids are close in age. Her son is about two and half years older than mine. They love each other. It’s pretty cute. We are just happy they get along.

I haven’t watched all the marvel movies, but they’re all pretty good. Honestly, Black Panther is pretty good. Iron man is one of my favorites but I’m kinda hooked on RDJ. He’s around my parents age but damn does he make it look good. The best marvel universe show I’ve seen yet has been Wanda Vision. Spider-Man is also a must see. They nailed the character. And Deadpool is good too.

I need a new bookshelf too. But I don’t have anyplace to put one right now. I think I need a bigger house. Some people would tell me to downsize my books. I would say that’s blasphemy.

It’s my younger sister who’s getting married. But I also have an older sister! We are all pretty close. Which is nice. In fact, I mentioned wanting to move out of country to my little sister the other day and she just about murdered me. 😂

Husband does data and reporting analysis. However, his degree is in Game Art and Design. He wanted to get his masters in something tech related. But he likes to code too. He and I talk about business ideas all the time! I always thought about owning a coffee shop/ book store. And recently I had this crazy good idea about a resin pour business. I do also have a clothing design I put together for school but also wanted to pursue in actuality.

The poem is by Thomas Gray and it’s called Ode on the Death of a Favorite Cat, Drowned in a Tub of Gold Fishes. It’s macabre. And sad. And just a little funny. I should be ashamed of myself. I really should.

Honestly the bard does it for me always. Sonnet 116 is always a classic. It’s been my favorite for a long time. But sonnet 130 is a close second. The first is traditionally romantic but there’s something to be said about Shakespeare’s realistic depiction of his love in 130. It’s honest and kinda sweet.

How do you feel about satire? It can be another difficult form to master but when it’s done well I find it incredibly enjoyable. I had the joy of reading A Modest Proposal to my husband once. He was only really familiar with Swift’s Guliver’s Travels. So I introduced him to that. The shock on his face was priceless. But he enjoyed it overall.

As I was pulling out the book I needed to get the proper name and author of the poem, I came across a book I bought awhile back. It’s called the Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. That was an excellent book, and if you haven’t already read it, I thought I’d recommend it. I like to recommend that one to people a lot. It was addicting.

I’m glad your side effects were tame! Here are some sunflowers 🌻 🌻 🌻 to brighten up your day!

Out of curiosity, what do you teach???

[sherrybaby14]

I Watched You Change

This is for YoungMoneyMilla’s 9k celebration.  Congrats darling!

Prompt:  Change (in the house of flies) by the Deftones (This song reminds me of Queen of the Damned, but I am too scared to write for Anne Rice so I went with the next thing)

Summary:  Dracula AU.  Victorian England.  After being neglected by your fiancé a certain vampire sets his eyes on you

Warnings:  Angst, Dub-con, Mind Control, Cheating, Blood, Death

Pairings: Vampire!Bucky x  reader, Clint x reader

A/N:  This story has 2 endings.  You get to choose your own adventure.  They are marked!!  

                  The air in your lungs burned, your body not wanting to release the oxygen. This was important, you had to talk to him, you could do this.  Right before you were about to pass out from holding in your breath you straightened your back and lifted your chin, releasing the air as you strode toward your fiancé.

                 “Clint, I have to speak to you.”  When you opened the door to the parlor you were not surprised to see the faces of four shocked men.  

                 Women were never to interrupt, but you’d had enough.

                 “Y/N.” He rose from the couch.  “Now is not the time.  I will find you later.”

                 The other men went back to looking at the papers on the table.  Dr. Banner not hiding his annoyance with you.  

                 “There is no time!” Damned the proper etiquette. “You’re never around, and when you are it’s with these men.  We are supposed to build a life together and I have no clue what yours is anymore.”

                 A glance to the papers on the table showed a drawing of a fanged creature, some maps, and medieval-looking weapons.  A hand was around your arm and you looked into the face of your fiancé, his lips turned into a scowl as he dragged you out of the room.  

                 “I am working toward ensuring that life is one of purity and safety.”  He spoke through gritted teeth as he led you back into the hall.  “One where I can protect you.”  

                 “Protect me?”  You pulled your arm away.  “From what?”

                 “There is evil here.” Clint looked over his shoulder, almost ensuring his partners couldn’t hear. “I fear that the minds of women can’t grasp this level of danger.  I need you to trust me.  We are closing in on the beast.  Once he is killed we will be wed.”

                 “Beast?  Killed?” Your head started to swim with his cryptic words, let alone the insult against your gender. “What are you talking about?  You sound mad.”

                 “I’ve said too much.”  His expression melted into pity as he cupped your cheek.  “We have to return to the city for a few nights. It’s safer for you here.”  

                 “Now you’re leaving?”  You supposed it didn’t make much difference since he was never around either way.  

                 “When I return, things will go back to how they were.” He placed a kiss on your forehead. “Promise me, you won’t go outside after dark and wear your crucifix?”  

                 “Mr. Barton.”  Dr. Banner appeared in the doorway. “If we wish to act on this lead, we must prepare.”  

                 You glanced around your fiancé and swore you saw Tony Stark brandishing a crossbow.  Your mouth hung open as you looked up at Clint, desperate for an explanation.  

                 “Patience Y/N.”  He gave another quick kiss before leaving with Dr. Banner, shutting the door to the parlor behind him.  

                 At the start of summer, you thought it was kind Mr. Stark offered you a room at his country estate.  Memories of your arrival and how vibrant Clint had seemed further away than the ten weeks they were.  

                 Once Dr. Banner arrived it was like all the men had gone insane with some private obsession.  Clint no longer snuck into your bedroom in the evening, showed up for dinners or teas, and he halted all talk of your wedding plans, which you’d hoped would be set for some time in the early fall.  

                 Again you found yourself alone.  In a big empty estate.  You debated on finding one of the servants, but they did not hide their annoyance at your presence and refused to treat you like their equal. That drove you nuts, especially since you were nowhere near the class of Tony Stark.  

                 The tears of frustration were starting to pool, but if Clint saw you cry that would only feed into the stereotype he had recently painted you into. The sensitive woman who must be shielded from everything.

                 The suffocating feeling returned.  You grabbed your hat and purse from next to the door before yanking it open and walking out into the summer sunshine.  

                 A walk would do you good.  Calm your rage.  The town was only a kilometer away. Maybe seeing the faces of some people not obsessed with ‘beasts’ would help.

~~

               Clint’s words kept circling you as you tried to make sense out of them. The minds of women can’t grasp this level of danger. More like the mouths of men can’t explain what the hell was going on. You brought your hand to your lips at the thought.  

                 Such immoral words would never leave your mouth, but you couldn’t help picture the look on Clint’s face had you spoken them out loud.   There would be a rage in his eyes, he’d never hit you, but probably think about it as his jaw clenched.  For some reason, the image of the reaction excited you.  

                 “Excuse me Miss?”  A voice shook you from your fantasy.  

                 You looked up at a striking man.  He had long brown hair slicked back, he wore thick sunglasses and a proper suit with a hat that looked tailored enough to rival one of Mr. Stark’s outfits.  But the most peculiar thing was his sun umbrella in his gloved hand.  You hadn’t seen many men carry those.

                 “I have just arrived and I was looking for the solicitor’s office?  Could you point me in the right direction?”  The man’s glasses made it difficult to tell where his eyes were looking, but his voice sent a chill down your spine.

                 You realized you were starring and looked down the street, more than familiar with the layout of the few shops and businesses in the small country town.  

                 “Yes.  It’s the third building on the opposite side of the street.”  You started walking.  “I am headed that way actually.”

                 “Is there a bookstore?” The man followed you.

                 “Excuse me?”  You didn’t know what he was implying.

                 “You look like someone well read.  In town unaccompanied, I assumed it was for a new book.”  He gave you a smile.  

                 “There is a bookstore, but unfortunately, I have read everything I care to that they have.”  You thought about his unaccompanied line.  

                 You were an engaged woman, maybe it was inappropriate to come to town by yourself.  What would Clint think? You walking down the street with another man. Internally you rolled your eyes, he was too busy hunting some beast to be worried about you.  

                 “That is a shame.”  Your companion stopped at the solicitor’s office.

                 In the window was a sign that read ‘Closed until Monday’.

                 “Would it be forward of me to ask you to accompany me to lunch?  I did notice a café down the street and I hate to eat alone?”  

                 His invitation made your mouth hang open, how brazen?  What did he take you for?  Some harpy?

                 “I do not believe my fiancé would appreciate that.” You started to turn.  “Good day sir.”  

                 “Apologies.” He called out before you got a step away. “I meant no harm, to you nor your fiancé. I am new to this country and clearly lacking in its social normalcies.  I understand women are all too aware of potential dangers around them.”

                 His word choice made your heart stop beating for a moment as you froze and turned back to him.  

                 “What did you say?  About dangers?”  You could not remember the last time you were so interested in an answer.

                 “As a species, women are much more practical when it comes to the evils in this world.”  He stepped toward you.  “And thus I clothe my naked villainy.”  

                 A smile spread to your lips as you let out a little laugh.  When was the last time that happened?  A smile or a chuckle?  

                 “Richard III.”  You nodded. “I’m impressed.”  

                 “And I am Count James Buchanan.”  He offered you an arm. “It was never my intention to offend.”

                 “I may have overreacted.”  You took his escort.  “Maybe a light lunch would be appropriate.  Especially if the conversation is about Shakespeare.”

                 “What is your favorite work?”  The Count asked.

                 You smiled, happy for once your brain wasn’t preoccupied with thoughts of your maddening fiancé.  

~~

               The lunch flew by as quickly as the conversation. You lost track of time as the world faded away with the sun.  It was only when the sound of thunder shook the café you were jarred from the Count’s attention.  

                 “Blast!”  You rose from the table and looked out the window as the rain pelted down.  “I am afraid our afternoon must come to an end. I promised my fiancé to return by dark.”

                 “Wise man, obtaining such a promise.”  He looked out the window with you. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Miss. Y/L/N.  I believe your fiancé must be a very wise man for receiving your affections.”

                 The meaning of his words was not lost on you and again brought on shivers.  When you glanced over at him he finally removed his sunglasses and eyes too blue to be natural starred back.  It almost made you gasp, the handsomeness of this man.      

                 “Thank you for the company and compliments.” You didn’t look away from his hypnotic gaze.  “I was hoping I could ask you for a favor Count Barnes?”

                 “James.” He gave you a knowing glance. “And whatever your heart desires.”  

                 “Could I borrow your umbrella?”  You gave a half smile. “I walked here, and would hate to catch a cold in the rain.”

                 “No.”  His response surprised you.  “I have a carriage.  I will drive you home.”  

                 Before you could respond he was outside, waving his hand to the end of the street.  The horse and buggy arrived right when you walked out.  

                 The driver did not jump down as James held open the door for you.  It would be rude to decline, and with the weather, you were sure Clint would want you to accept the ride.  

                 “I’m at the Stark estate.”  You told James as you sat against the plush leather.  

                 “Anthony Stark, I didn’t realize he was engaged. Won’t he be thrilled when he finds out I’ve spent the afternoon with his fiancé.”  James took a seat next to you.

                 “He is not engaged.  Clint Barton, he’s an old acquaintance of Mr. Stark.”  You felt silly for not explaining yourself earlier. “But you know Mr. Stark too?”  

                 “Of course.  He is the reason I picked this countryside town.  He and his friends practically chased me out Romania to get me here, your fiancé included.”  He gave you a wink.  “Mr. Barton. I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting him in person, but I have heard he is quite strong and reputable.”  

                 “He is.”  You wanted to say ‘was’, but bit your tongue.

                 “It’s a strange coincidence.  After dropping you off my plans were to head to the Stark estate.” James removed his hat. “That solicitor has the keys to my new estate.  It appears I am homeless until Monday.  I was hoping Tony wouldn’t mind boarding me for the next two nights.”  

                 Even you didn’t call Mr. Stark Tony.  It made your eyebrows rise at the informalness.  

                 “Unfortunately Mr. Stark went to London for the weekend.” You gave a frown.  

                 “Is your fiancé acting as master of the estate in his stead?”  James’ confidence didn’t falter at the news.

                 “Actually, I am the only guest at the moment.”  You bit your lip.  Was it your place to offer Tony’s residence to the Count?

                 “I see.”  James nodded. “I am sure that there is an inn I can find a room at.  I would hate to put you in that position.”

                 “Nonsense.”  After how kind he had been to you, and the fact he called Mr. Stark Tony, there was no reason to make him stay at that bug infested inn.  “You are more than welcome to stay at Mr. Stark’s estate.  I will have one of the servants makes up a room for you as soon as we arrive.”  

                 “Thank you.  I am sure Tony would approve of your hospitality.”  James’ eyes flashed with his own approval.  “Does that mean we will be dining together this evening?”

                 Your heart fluttered at the thought, not over the food or the man himself, just the idea of company.  It had been so long.  

~~

               Dinner was just as pleasant as lunch, if not more so and you drank in every word your new friend spoke.  Some of the servants raised an eye while serving the food, but nobody objected to your offering the Count a room.

                 “Would you like a nightcap?”  You rose from the table and started toward the parlor.  

                 “I really would.”  James stifled a yawn. “But I fear I am in need of sleep after today’s activities.”

                 “Of course.”  You felt foolish, forgetting your guest’s travels.  

                 “In fact, I will likely sleep through the day tomorrow I am so exhausted.  Please forgive my rudeness if that occurs.”  James stood up and left his seat, walking with you.

                 “Very understandable.”  You tried to hide your disappointment, knowing it was selfish but you wanted company again.  

                 “But I was hoping, tomorrow evening, the two of us could have a formal dinner?”  He offered you his arm as you walked through the hall to the staircase, which you gladly took.  “I’ve brought my dress coats and I would love to experience an English formal.”

                 “For two?”  You smiled. “I’m not sure you will get the entire experience.”

                 “Humor me.”  James climbed the stairs, leading you up.

                 “I suppose I’ll check with the servants in the morning.” You had a feeling they would jump at the chance, at least the chef. She’d been bored stiff whining about making quick meals all summer.  

                 “Well good night Miss Y/L/N.”  James stopped outside his bedroom, you hadn’t realized you’d walked this far, much passed your own.  

                 “Y/N, please.”  Your eyes didn’t leave him as his lips touched the top of your hand.

                 A lump came in the back of your throat and you swallowed it down.  

                 “Goodnight Y/N.”  James dropped your hand.  

                 Every nerve in your body flared for some unknown reason.  Tingles spread across your shoulders as you spun to walk to your room, muttering a goodbye.

               Thoughts went to tomorrow’s dinner.  You could distract yourself with getting ready and maybe the workers would let you help set the table or something, but they would probably fight you off wanting to tame their own boredom.  

                 At the back of your brain, there was a clawing this was wrong.  You shouldn’t be excited about dining with anyone but your fiancé.  But you told yourself you would be dining with him if he were here.  And besides, as the only current guest of the estate, it was your job to entertain Mr. Stark’s friends.  

~~

               He meant to murder her the second they were in the carriage.  Leave her dead body on the side of the road for the men to find as a warning, but she proved to be much more than the delicate flower her husband talked of.  

                 And the way she smelled, Bucky could only imagine how good she must taste.  He ran his tongue over his lips as he undressed in Tony Stark’s mansion.  He imagined how enraged the would-be vampire hunter would be if he knew.  

                 Dr. Banner was responsible for this, bringing him here into poor Y/N’s life.  They should have left him be, but his arch nemesis thought if he got a gang together maybe he would stand a chance this time.  The poor mortals had no clue how powerful Bucky really was and he had no intention of giving them a demonstration.

                 Still, they had to be taught a lesson.  Killing vampire hunters tended to create more vampire hunters.  Usually hunting loved ones was enough of a deterrent, but it seemed nobody else had any family but Clint Barton.  His fiancé death would send the perfect message to the others, but Bucky didn’t want her dead any longer.  He wanted something more.  

                 He was certain she was asleep by now.  It had been hours since they parted, but she was still on his mind.  There was a risk in using the hallway, he was certain the staff was already suspicious of him.  So he went to the window and with minimal effort crawled across the stone siding toward her room.  

                 The warm summer air meant the panes were open and he went inside with the breeze.  There she was in her bed, a light sweat on her forehead as she tossed among the sheets.  Her nightgown was simple and white, clearly lacking in the wealth of this house.  He enjoyed how thin it was, as it stuck to her skin, the outline of her curves apparent.  

                  He couldn’t help himself as he dipped into the bed next to her.  Her lids started to flutter and he couldn’t have that.  

                 “Shhhh,” he ordered. “Sleep.”  

                 There was a relaxation to her body as Bucky position her between his legs with her on her side.  

                 “What are you dreaming of Love?”  He brushed her hair back and inhaled her intoxicating aroma.  

                 “You.” There was no hesitation in her response.

                 “I like that very much.”  Bucky ran his hand down her bare arm until he got to her gown and started to bunch it up.  “What about me?”  

                 “Kissing you. Touching you.” Her lips puckered at the last word.  

                 “Touching me?”  The white thing gathered around her waist, leaving her beautiful cunt open for his hand.  “I have a better idea.”  

                 She let out a moan as his fingers worked between her folds.  Bucky smiled at how wet she was for him, eager and inviting.   He teased her entrance with his finger, and she lifted her hips.  

                 “The first time I enter you there it won’t be with a finger.”  Bucky dragged along her slit, eliciting a disappointed whimper.  “That doesn’t mean I will leave you wanting.”

                 He pressed down on her tender bud and she gasped as her hands scratched at his chest.  She started rocking against him, grinding down on his hard cock with her movements while he circled and rubbed her clit.    

                 “Cum for me.”  He cared more about her release than his own, a strange occurrence for him. “Tell me what you need.”  

                 “You.”  There was a coo to her voice, but she rocked faster against him.  

                 Bucky increased the pressure and his motions, harder and faster.  Soon the gasping came again and the features on her face tightened.  She was close and he planned on tasting her ecstasy.  He opened his mouth and bared his fangs.    

                 The second her climax came over her Bucky removed his hand and flipped her on to her back.  His thigh pressed against her apex while his teeth sank into her neck.

                 He tasted her orgasm, a rush of pent up repression and denial mixed without any shame or remorse.  It was enough that he felt his cock spasm in his pants as her blood rushed down his throat.  

                 Her death would be a waste.  Bucky knew right then and there he had better plans in store for her.  

~~

               “Miss.”  There was a handshaking you.  “Miss wake up.”  

                 You struggled to open your eyes.  The room seemed extra bright and you shielded your eyes.

                 “What time is it?”  You begrudgingly lifted yourself up on to an elbow.  “Who are you?”

                 “Count Barnes told us about the dinner tonight.” She wore one of Tony’s uniforms. “I am here to help you dress.  It’s 5 pm. Dinner is at 7, so we should get started.”

                 “Five pm?”  That made you jolt up in bed. “I’ve slept the day away.”  

                 “You do look a little ill.”  The woman tapped your neck. “And it looks like a spider may have taken a bite.”  

                 You stood up and went to the mirror.  There was an air of tiredness to your features and two strange puncture marks on your neck.  It must have been a huge spider.  

                 “Please don’t cancel the dinner.”  The girl appeared behind you. “The staff has been dreadfully bored and Count Barnes is paying all of us a very generous additional sum for tonight.”  

                 “I am tired, but I feel more relaxed than I have in months.”  It was like all the tension in your body ran out.  “I wouldn’t dream of canceling on the Count.”  

                 You would have to thank him when you saw him, especially since you said you would inform the servants.  

                 “He had a special dress sent over for you.”  The maid went to a bag hanging.  “I don’t even think Mr. Stark knows how to have something made so quickly.”  

                 She lifted the bag to show the most exquisite piece of clothing you’d ever seen.  It was the right color for you and the details were extraordinary.  

               “I think we should do your hair up.”  The main went on for her plans for you and you nodded along, eager to participate in the night’s festivities.  

~~

               When you saw James he looked more handsome than you remembered, his suit the finest you’d ever seen.  

                 Dinner was another perfect conversation where it felt like he hung on every word you said.  

                 “If I ask for a nightcap will you accompany this time?”  You rose from the table.

                 “Only if you ask nicely.”  James stood as well.  

                 “Please, won’t you join me for a drink?”  You waited for him to offer his arm.  

                 “I must say, that dress looks stunning on you.” He looked you up and down. “Mr. Barton is a lucky man.”  

                 Hearing your fiance’s name made you cringe. It was the first time you’d given him any thought all evening.  

                 “Yes.  You will come to the wedding I hope?”  You looked at James and saw a twinge of disappointment, making you feel even guiltier.

                 “I hope to play a large part in your wedding.” The disappointment vanished.  

                 “Oh.  Of course. I forget you’re acquaintances with all the men.” You walked into the parlor and left James to go pour the drinks.

                 There was a scratching sound and then music filled the room.  You smiled as you looked over your shoulder at James with phonograph.  

                 “It’s a wonderful invention.”  You turned and handed him a drink.  

               “Dance with me.”  He took both glasses from your hands and set them down.  

                 “I don’t think…”

                 “Please.”  He held his hand out.  

                 You knew it was wrong, but you found yourself accepting his proposal and slipping your hand into his, while his other went around your waist and brought you closer.  

                 “You’re very special Y/N.”  James led you as you swayed.  “More than any human recognizes.”  

                 “I’m just a girl.”  You felt a heat growing in your heart between his compliments and the way he was touching you.  

                 “No.”  His had left yours and went to your chin, nudging it so that your eyes were on his. “You are much more than that.  You are a delicacy. One I would very much like to taste. Again.”

                 Hazy visions of laying on top of James, his hand on your most private areas.  The release the ecstasy, the bite on your neck.  

                 “What are you?”  You were curious, not scared, not angry, nothing else.  

                 “I am the only one who can satisfy you.  Give you what you crave.  Knowledge, equality, travel, the world.”  He leaned in closer.  “All you have to do is join me.”    

                 “You’re the beast they’re hunting.”  Things fell into place.

               The crossbow, the picture on the table of the fanged creature, the sun umbrella, the sunglasses, sleeping all day, the puncture marks on your neck.  

                 “You’re a vampire.”  You understood why Clint was acting so mad, had he told you the truth you never would have believed him.  “Am I under your spell?”

                 “Not at the moment.” The music stopped but you continued to sway.  

                 “Then why am I not scared?”  You kept your eyes on his, having no reason to trust him but doing so anyway.  

                 “Because you’re different.”  His gaze did not falter. “Leave with me, tonight.  Let me take you into the darkness.”  

                 He was asking, but you knew he didn’t need to. A mountain of feelings came toppling down.  He was a monster, you were engaged.  He was interesting, you were lonely.  He excited you, you were amazed by him.  Would a no mean death and did you even want to say no?  While your thoughts continued to scramble your heat knew the answer.  

                 You opened your mouth to speak when the door to the parlor flung open.  

                 “Y/N GET BACK!” Clint held out a giant crucifix.

                 James let out a screech and moved you behind his back.  Clint wasted no opportunity jumping forward, a wooden stake in his hand.  It came centimeters to James’ heart when he let go of you to defend himself.  You fell to the floor with a bump and scooted back against the wall.  

                 The two men struggled with each other.  The wooden stake going closer to James before another blow pushed it away.  

                 “STOP!  You’re hurting him!”  You screamed out from the floor.  

                 Both men looked at you.  

                 “Y/N run! Get out of here.”  Clint went back to trying to kill James.  

                 “Y/N you have a choice.  Make it.”  James didn’t sound nearly as winded as Clint.  

                 That’s when you realized this was all a show for your benefit.  James could have snapped Clit in two if he wanted.  That’s where this was headed.  Clint’s death.  James wanted you to do it, but could you?  

                 Two lives danced in front of your eyes literally. One a happy dutiful wife in the sunlight, the other a literal monster.   You knew the correct choice.  

                 Ignoring the faux struggle you walked over to the crossbow, the one Tony must have chosen to leave behind for some reason. It was loaded, all you to do was pull the trigger.  Without hesitation, you went over to the duo.  Neither of which were paying attention to you.  

                 “I wish there was another way.”  You sighed as you lined up and took your shot.

                 In an instant the struggle was over as the body hit the floor with a thud, your life forever changed.

 A/N:  We are going into a little bit of a choose your own adventure.  If you want to be a bad girl skip all the way to ***  

[Begin ending 1]

               “Y/N.”  Clint looked at you with shock.  “Thank God.”

                 He ran to you and tucked you against his chest, the entire time your eyes were glued to James, the arrow sticking out of his heart. His body started to shake and decay at a rapid rate, the beautiful face disappearing.  

                 “Where are the others?”  You didn’t notice the vampire hunting gang.

                 “London.  I just had a feeling that you needed me.”  Clint kissed the top of your head. “That it was wrong to leave you alone.  And I was right.”  

                 “Is it over now?  That he is dead.”  You pulled away and looked up at Clint.  

                 “It’s over.  Our lives are safe.”  He started to lead you out of the parlor.  “The others won’t believe it.”  

                 “Will you tell me the story?”  You looked at Clint. “Why was he here?”  

                 “For another time love.”  Clint squeezed you tight.  “You have had quite a night.  I’m sure you need some rest.”  

                 “To sleep, perchance to dream.”  You were still in a haze.

                 “What?”  Clint asked.

                 “Shakespeare.”  

                 “I’m not familiar.”  He tightened his shoulders as he led you to the stairs, away from what could have been.  

 ***

                 [Begin Ending 2]

                 A failed grunt came out of Clint as he tried to reach for the arrow in his back.  It was short lived as he collapsed dead.   You lowered the crossbow as James stepped over his body.  

                 His eyes bore into yours with pride and amazement. When he reached you he cupped your cheek and lifted your chin, pressing his mouth to yours.  You dropped the weapon and put your arms around his neck, returning the kiss.  

                 “What a choice.”  He broke the kiss as he hoisted you in the air,  your skirts going to your waist as you wrapped your legs around him.

                 “There was never a choice to make.  You would always win.”   You went back to kissing him.

                 This was the kissing you’d always dreamed of, deep and unbridled passion.   You would spend eternity with someone capable of making you feel this way.  

                 You squealed when there was a sharp pang on your tongue,  followed by the taste of copper, then something else, something warm and tangy. James had bitten both of your tongues open and your blood swooshed together in your mouth.  

                 It made you moan as he set you down on the couch. He moved faster than your eyes could keep up with, undressing and then you.  It was dizzying to be naked so quickly, but in a second he bared his fangs and sunk them deep into your neck.

                 A moan left your lips as you felt your blood dripping down your back.  Warm and so filled with life.   Your head started to lull to the side as your soul slid into James’ mouth.  With it all your hang up and pretentions.  

                 Then he pulled your head away and looked at you as a nail ran across his chest, spilling his own.  You didn’t need instructions as your mouth went to him, lapping it up and taking as much of him in as you could.  He tasted like love.   Something you could never get enough and never quite understood how it felt.

                 He spun around and pulled you across his lap, straddling him.   You’d never been in such a lewd position before and loved it as he lined up his cock with your cunt and lowered you down.  

                 James tilted his head to the side and again ran a fingernail, opening up his vein.  You wasted no time dropping your head to taste him again while your body bounced up and down his shaft.  

                 Soon his teeth returned to your neck, crunching down again.   It made you cry out and lose your concentration on your own feeding.   But then the tingling in your pussy began to grow in a way you never experienced before.  

                 James was guiding you, up and down, back and forth. You started gasping, desperate for the release.  Certain that you were going to burst into nothingness.  When the pleasure came it made James suck down harder and you moaned uncontrollably.  Your orgasm was soon met with his own and he stilled your movements but continued to drink from your throat.  

                 Finally he lifted his head, showing his blood-soaked chin and lips.  You imagined you looked much the same when he pressed his mouth to yours, his cock softening inside of you.  

                 The deep kiss turned into a little peck and you fell forward, resting your head against James’ chest, the blood drying.  

                 “We have to get out of here.”  He kissed your head and slid you off of his lap.  “The others won’t be far behind.”  

                 “Where will we go?”  You weren’t sure you were capable of standing as sleep started to tug you down.  

                 “Wherever we like.”  He gave you a devilish grin and kissed your forehead.  “Sleep now.”  

                 You had no clue where you would be when you awoke but were ready to follow him into the night.          

[thatchainsguy]

I posted this on reddit, but I wanted to get y’all’s opinions here, too.

Paying for top surgery (US)

I’ve been lurking for a bit since deciding for sure on top surgery, and with 2020 being the absolute worst, my plans have certainly been derailed and rerailed more than once. So here’s the main question (details to follow): Should I go full out of pocket, with travel and everything, or wait until I move next summer to a different state and try using insurance there?

The details:

•I live in a state with bare bones insurance coverage (I have it, though), and with surgeons on tap here that make me feel squicked out about interacting with them.

•My insurance has an exclusion, anyway, and I’m not in a place to be able to fight them on it (I’ve looked into it and I’m tired).

•I have a pretty intense anxiety about medical stuff because I’ve been screwed over in the past and the thought of some gross plastic surgeon making decisions for me while I’m out, without my consent, freaks me tf out (I’m in therapy).

•I have good credit and a good job right now and could afford a monthly payment for like CareCredit or a personal loan, but with the move coming up in less than a year, I’m worried about being able to keep up my payments in a potentially financially insecure situation post-move.

•I would have to travel across the country to see my surgeon of choice before my move (more expenses), but it’s to the state I’m moving to and could get some pre-move things done while I’m there. I would be with my partner and we would be driving.

•The surgeon is in the state that I’m moving to, but not the same city, so I’m not even sure when I get insurance in my new city if it would cover my provider in another city, anyway?

•I’m also worried that if I wait to have the surgery after my move, I won’t have the same support that I have right now. My friends are my neighbors and my boss already has a contingency plan for me to continue working post-op (I’m an acrobat and I coach other circus performers, so it’s important for me to be able to demonstrate moves, especially overhead, so I would have a teaching assistant assigned to me in my current job), that I wouldn’t be able to guarantee in my potential new job/would feel super uncomfortable asking for from a new employer.

•My best friend’s wedding is supposed to be next fall (covid-allowing), and shopping for suits pre-top surgery is freaking me out. The thought of attending the wedding without having surgery is causing some serious dysphoria. I know I could still bind and have my suit made and it won’t make too big of a difference, but we’re supposed to have like an outdoorsy week beforehand of hiking and swimming in lakes and such and if I have to wear a binder for all those things, I think I might just pass on them, and that would suck because I love my friends and I love the outdoors, and ugh, it’s just so depressing to think of what my alternative would be if I don’t have surgery before the wedding!

Probably freaking myself out a lot, so it would be good to hear some other perspectives. What do you guys think? Stuff’s not going to get any better than it is now? Should I just jump in the deep end of debt and have my surgery now and move on with my life? Use my current support net because I can’t guarantee I’ll have one later? Is that a bad financial move? Is there such a thing as a good financial move when it comes to medical expenses? Should I slow down and wait to see what my move brings? Schedule my surgery for later next year?

Thank you all for reading my novel!

[purplesurveys]

742

Are we alike? So True or False, Yes or No. Explain if you'd like. You are 16 years old. 16+6. You are a junior in high school. Graduating college senior. Math and Science aren't your best subjects. I was definitely more of an arts student. I only did great in math and science when I liked the topics we were learning, but otherwise I never felt like exerting as much effort for them as I did for classes like history. Your dog is really little. He’s medium-sized. He’s a really weird size actually hahaha and I guess it’s because he’s mixed. He’s too big to be classified as a small dog and too small to be grouped with the larger dogs. You love being tan. I mean I obviously don’t go advertising how much I love it, but it’s definitely nothing to complain about.

You think you are pretty for the most part. I have my days. You love making other people smile. Getting people’s approval is always a nice achievement. You love bracelets or just wearing jewelry in general. I think jewelry’s pretty but I’m particular about them – I prefer them to be silver and for them to have subtle designs, never explosive as I think that’s a tad bit tacky. Also I prefer necklaces to bracelets. TLC is one of your favorite channels on TV. It certainly would be if I still regularly watched television. I know for a fact Gab and I will tune in to TLC when I crash at her place. You have been in three different countries. Six, so far. You have ridden in a plane. Yeah well I live in an archipelago, so we’re separated from all the countries near us and have had to ride planes to get to them. You’re learning how to drive a car. I already did. I’ve had my license for four years. You have had 3 serious boyfriends. You believe you can only have 1 true love. As a demi this is typically how I think, but I like keeping my mind open. I know this is certainly not how it works for a lot of people, and that’s valid. You have a job. You have been to Aruba. No but if anything this reminded me of Friends because this was where Rachel was supposed to have her honeymoon before she ran out of her wedding hah. That contributed absolutely nothing to the conversation but yep. You love little babies or children :) Yes, and it increases as I get older. I have to practice for when it’s my turn, lol. You can't wait to get married one day. You always try to have a smile on your face. Not always. I allow myself to be sad or cranky if I want to. Your emotions change very easily. Sometimes. It’s not a dominant trait of mine though; I can typically keep my emotions consistent and it’s only volatile if I’m under a lot of pressure or stress. You cry very easily. Yep, I’m very sensitive. Earlier today I cried over a girl’s Tiktok about her dog with diabetes and the adjustments that had to be made for him, like how he stopped going down the stairs or sleeps a lot more these days. You cry a lot. Yes, because I cry easily. You have a boyfriend you have been with for a while. Girlfriend. You hate when people say 'I love you' too quickly. Idk, I haven’t had to deal with this.  The hair on your legs grow very quickly. Not very quickly but yeah it does grow back after a certain amount of time. I shave every one or two weeks. You always feel like your back needs cracked. It’s definitely not in the best shape, coupled with the fact that I already have scoliosis to begin with. You’re still trying to determine what you want to do after high school. I have career fields in mind but as for exact jobs, no. You love fashion. I like keeping up with what’s trending within my age group but I’m not obsessed with fashion at all, like I don’t know the fashion week schedules or who the biggest models are these days, and I still think some fashion trends don’t make sense. You love shopping for school dance dresses. You think decorating is very cool. It’s okay. I wouldn’t do it myself but I have friends who are great at decorating, like Laurice, and I think it’s a good and a pretty cool skill to have. You always seem to be cold. Not always, but I do feel cold more easily than the people I know. I’m always the first one to grab a jacket, a blanket, or to move further away from the AC. Still, I prefer being cold than hot. You love hot weather. Oh my god fuck no. 22 years of living in a tropical country and I’ve had just about enough of the sun which is all we get all year round. I can’t wait to live somewhere with a lot of rain and with snow. You have tanned in a tanning bed. I don’t have to; plus aren’t those really unhealthy to stay in? You aren't a very good cook. I can’t even call myself a cook. You aren't an independent person. Hah, no sir. I find comfort in doing almost everything with at least one person with me, even if it’s just grabbing a snack or having something photocopied in school. I went to UPTC alone ONCE just to try having dinner all by myself cause everyone seemed to have great experiences of it, but I hated every second of being alone. You like any type of food, you aren't picky. The only foods I’ll refuse are fruit and anything with raisins on them, but generally I’m not hard to feed.

Country is your favorite kind of music. You quit watching American Idol. I quit when I realized all the wrong people kept winning. If I remember right, the last straw for me was Scotty McCreery over Lauren Alaina. You like the show 'Big Brother'. I never did get into it, but everyone did. I used to think something was wrong with me for not enjoying any season of the show, but eventually I stopped caring. You used to like Jersey Shore. I was only interested in it because it felt edgy to watch as a 12 year old lmao, but I was never obsessed. You think tye dye is super cool. It’s definitely cool and fun to make, but it’s not the first, fifth, or thirtieth thing I’d wear. You love glitter. Your nails are almost always painted. Total opposite. You have had sex before. You have a best friend of the opposite sex. I have close friends, but no best friends. Andrew is the best closest guy friend I have, probs. You have been stabbed in the back a few times. You don't trust many people. Again, quite the opposite. I like to believe everyone deserves trust in the beginning, but I have a rule to cut anyone who breaks that trust out of my life. You don't have many close friends. I have a lot of friends but I like keeping my closest circle small. You’re normally nice to everyone. Duh? You like to meet new people. Egh, it depends on who it is. I can find other people exhausting to talk to from the get-go; or sometimes I’ll find them too different and I just know no friendship is gonna come out of it. Sometimes you can be pretty shy. I’ve learned to be a bit more extroverted through the years but I’ve never lost my trademark shyness hahaha. You don't have any secrets. This blog is a big glaring secret from everyone I know. Your boyfriend has supported you through your hardest times. Girlfriend. You have a scar from cutting your leg while shaving. Not right now, but it’s happened a few times. You think flowers are very pretty. They’re okay. I’m not crazy about them but I do like giving/receiving bouquets. You hate nature. I have no reason to; it’s peaceful and beautiful. You don't like animals very much. Love them. You like to eat meat, any kind. I wouldn’t try all kinds of meat. Like I wouldn’t eat cats, dogs, or anything that’s critically endangered. But I do tend to be adventurous with meat, much like with any other dish I try. You have eaten donkey before. You’re pretty close with your parents. Like I said in an old survey, we have a buddy-type of relationship. We don’t hate each other but we also wouldn’t have heart-to-heart talks with one another and we’re so not emotionally close. You are also very close with your sibling(s). My sister and I also tend to treat each other like friends, ^ just like that. We’re not emotionally close either; when my sister’s cat died last week I could only send her comforting messages on Messenger because we’re not the type to visit each other’s rooms and cry to each other. You don't mind being around your family. If there is anything I learned in the last two months, it’s that this exact fact holds true. You love summer. Only when there is a trip planned. Otherwise, I don’t enjoy the weather at all. You don't know how to swim. There were always a couple of months allotted for swimming PEs in all years in my old school, so I know basic swimming and treading. You like being a teenager. It was okay. It certainly got better when I finally fit in somewhere and got invited to teenager stuff. You thought you were depressed at some point in your life. I was, throughout my teenage years. These days I’ll occasionally have very low points, but I don’t think it’s severe depression anymore. You feel like someone is growing apart from you. No, not at this point in my life. You like to take walks. With this climate, I always bitch about walking haha. When school was still ongoing I would typically drive everywhere, no matter how near my destination was.   You aren't very good at buying gifts for people. I wouldn’t say this. I pride myself on being a good listener and by extension, being a good gift-giver. I’ve often made Gab cry with my gifts. You love seeing couples in love. Sure but tbh I’m partial to same-sex couples because I see them a lot less. When I see one in public I always make sure to give them a kind smile. You love weddings :) I haven’t been to one since I was 9, but sure. You are addicted to sweets. You get scared very easily. Only at night. You don't like to be alone. If I’m doing stuff outside, then yes this is the case. Otherwise I don’t mind having alone time at home. Many people have asked if you were black, but really you're white. I’m neither of these. You could do without the TV. Have been for a few years now. You text a lotttt. Back when everything was normal and I had load on my phone every week, yep. I don’t really need to text anyone these days, though. You tend to make extra letters on your words. Only occasionally. You hate when people use bad grammar. It only bugs me when I expect them to know better, like if an American is being cocky or racist but still fucks up basic grammar; or if a Filipino wants to act like a know-it-all and obviously has poor command of English, but still forces themselves to speak it when they could very well speak Filipino in this hugely bilingual country lmao. You have a little bit of chub on you but you aren't fat. Not really. I only get bloated after I eat but my metabolism is very quick and it disappears relatively quickly. You are pretty good at rollerblading. I was never good at it even though I practiced a lot. I generally have bad balance. You wish you were a good gymnast. Sure, I feel that this is a very cool skill to have. I remember being fascinated by the gymnasts from Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo and how prettily they spun their ribbons. You are a competitive cheerleader. I am not, but it was one of my dreams. You are very uncoordinated. I wouldn’t say very. I’m not very physical these days and I can be clumsy, but my hand-eye coordination has stayed sharp all these years from playing table tennis; and I was good at futsal and had good reflexes when we had to play it for PE. You aren't good at making decisions, but you try your best. You love God very much :) This is such a hard pass it deserves a strikethrough.

You love lotion and perfume. I love the variety that’s available out there, but I don’t splurge. You wish you could own everything in Victoria's Secret. You wish you could be a model. You hate when girls are sluts. Even the word ‘slut’ isn’t gonna fly by in 2020, much less this entire statement. You hate when people act dumb on purpose. Don’t we all? You don't care what other people think of you. Depends on who it is. Some opinions will matter, and some won’t. You love to cuddle. You wish you could bake. I wish I can be good at the kitchen in general but tbh I always let my fear of fire and knives take over and I’m always left too scared to learn. You would like to own a pool. When I’m richer, sure. You kind of regret a few things... You want a little tattoo that no one can see. I kind of want my tattoos to be personal to me, yes.

[renegade-is-in-my-blood]

Summer 2019 is almost over and I got my days off from work in the last week of August. It was a time well spent as I got to travel a lot and visit new places. I’m gonna take you at my quick trip to salt mine Wieliczka in Poland with me.

It’s been a while since I’ve been home at Slovakia, therefore the choice where to go from Prague was quite simple. My family convinced me to spend the whole of my holidays at Slovakia, but I had one condition though.

We were not to sit at home.

I bombarded our family chat with links and recommendations of what to visit nearby Slovakia. There’s plenty to see in our neighborhood even though I’m a sucker for long-distance travels.

My younger sister took the responsibility of preparing point by point plan of our wide adventure. She actually emailed us a word document with the time schedule and pinpoints. To be fair she was quite upset we did not memorize or at least printed out our plan.

It’s easy to create a plan. Much harder is to stick to it.

We prepared 2 countries and at least 8 major sighs to see. To share it all with you is gonna take more than just one article. So much has happened. Now I’m gonna tell you all about our trip to the famous salt mine called Wieliczka.

Wieliczka is a small town in the south of Poland with one of the oldest salt mines in the world. It’s origin tracks back to 13 century and nowadays is a popular tourist attraction as over one million tourists visit Wieliczka salt mine every year.

The start of our journey began at 3 in the morning when me, my parents, my sister, and her boyfriend started our road trip. Unfortunately, my youngest sister was unable to take this trip with us as she had to work.

  First stop: Salt mine Wieliczka

  From my hometown of eastern Slovakia to Wieliczka town it took around 5 hours. We spend our time listening to the audio of Agata Christie’s detective stories and stand up comedy podcasts. Due to our early start, we arrived pretty early I would say, judging from the number of people we saw on our way out. From afar you could see many car parking spots and young boys in neon vests signing you to park there. Working on commission obviously.

Don’t worry you don’t have to park at the first one you see. For example, we continue further and we got a parking spot much closer to the salt mine entry. Parking cost 25 zlotys, aka the currency of Poland, which is like 0.25$ or 0.23€.

After a quick breakfast, we headed out of parking lot to the Wieliczka salt mine. It was easy to find as it’s this big ass building with a huge fence around it. The whole orientation over the areal was pretty clearly marked and we went straight to the foreign language tickets.

The line in the morning was very short, just like 2 people in front of us. I was the spokesman for our group and it was so easy to communicate in English. We got tickets for 5 adults with English speaking tour guide that costed 95zlotys per person. There are certain places inside of the caves where you’re not allowed to take photographs unless you get a permit. Photography permit costs just 10 zlotys so we got one and it was worth the photos.

I and my family choose an English tour but there are other languages to choose from.

  Obviously, polish, then Italian, French, German, Russian and Spanish. Polish and English were the most frequent so there was a new tour starting every 30 minutes. Therefore we didn’t have to wait long till our tour started. Other languages tours started like every 2-3 hours. Spanish for example just like 2-3 times per day.

In the inside, we got a recorder and one headphone. We were told which frequency to type so we all hear our tour guide speaking into her device.

The tour guide was a young girl with very clean English and pronunciation.

The one you learn from school that’s very easy to understand even if you’re not a native speaker.

There was an obvious temperature difference from outside august day to 10-100 meters below the ground deep salt mine. For my surprise, it wasn’t as cold as I was expecting it to be. I was wearing jeans and a jacket and I was ok. After a while of walking, I even took my jacket off and walked around just in my tank top.

Tour begins with the hardest step. Well around 800 steps to be precise, as you’re about to walk down 55 floors. The whole way down would not be much of a problem but the wooden staircase goes in a circle and it’s all very narrow. Long story short you have to focus on each step very carefully and it’s hard to do when you get dizzy from going in the circles. It took just like 5-8 minutes till we were all down below and the temperature lowered. My legs were shaking so much from all of those stairs and the more walking followed.

We moved through the mine as a group of around 20-25 people and the whole tour took 2,5 hours judging by the first photograph I took at 9:30 and the last at 12:00. Thank you apple, now it’s much easier for me to track my movement.

Wieliczka salt mine was beyond my expectations.

I didn’t think there would be many exciting things to see in a salt mine. Couldn’t ever imagine being interested in salt.

The great tour through the mines proved me wrong. It’s really hard to grasp the whole size of the mine as the visitors gets to see just the glimpse of 1% of it all. Tourists are allowed to 3 floors of grand 9 floors below the ground. The distance is even more incomprehensive. Stunning 300 km long.

It takes hearing about how our ancestors actually dig through those tunnels to a whole new level. You get to hear how they made the chambers by blowing shit up. How they managed to bring horses into the mines. Tourists get to see actual devices people used to create all of their surroundings. Seeing huge ass barrels of slat that back in the day could be used to buy a whole village with people and livestock.

The whole experience is supported by visual aids and shows besides explanatory from the tour guide. We went from chamber to chamber, each named after an important person for polish history.

The most famous chamber got to be the wedding hall that’s justs stunning. There were few of them actually. For obvious reasons, they were the most crowded ones. I was fascinated by the chandeliers that were made out of salt crystals. Just like the rest of the place that has been all made out of salt. The floors, the walls, the whole supporting system.

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I’m sure you expect the place to be the clear white color as the salt is supposed to be, but those were the purest salt barrels missing the minerals that actually whiten them.

You are free to convince yourself of the salt origin of the walls. Lick them all.

But remember that each year those walls gets licked by one million visitors. I personally didn’t dare. I was willing to taste the salty mineral water erupting in the caves. One drop that was so concentrated and salty I couldn’t even swallow it.

Along our tour, we came across more stairs and we kept going deeper and deeper. The original salt stairs were so slippery we had to be extra careful. More so when the tour guide told us that back in the day, when there was no proper ventilation in the caves and it got very hot, the stairs that got very slippery caused several accidents and even death on miners.

More death stories were heard when we came across one of the salty lakes inside the Wieliczka salt mine. Some time ago the part of the tourist attraction was a boat trip over the salty lake. One day a group of 7 people were enjoying themselves and rocking the boat. Unfortunately, they rolled over and due to incredibly high saturation of the water, they were unable to swim up and drowned int he mines. The attraction is now forbidden.

A lot of action for a salt mine don’t you think?

Wieliczka is definitely more interesting than it seems.

  I was expecting to feel some pressure difficulties as we were so deep underground, but nothing happened. Little kids were able to take part in the tour and there are even special tours for families with kids. Also, for my big surprise, even handicapped people or people on wheelchairs are free to take the tour. It’s much different from the regular one and they are getting all the way down by elevator, but the halls are wide enough for everyone to enjoy.

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Along the way, we had 2 bigger breaks. One at the main wedding hall, to look around and take photos. Then in the middle of the tour in another big chamber where we could use toilets, but those were along the way as well. There were also smaller shops with food, drinks or souvenirs. You could buy packs of pure salt, salt crystals, jewelry made out of salts, bath salts and beauty product made out of salt.

My favorite was the display of different salt crystals.

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We parted our ways with our guide and group in another shop chamber by the end of our tour. We were left with several options. There is a lift back to where we were already for some extra money. We could also continue with the tour to the lower level on our own but as the tour guide explained, there are not chamber mostly just salty halls. The best to see is already on the floors we’ve been to. And at least we could follow the signs out.

We choose the last option and headed out as our schedule was quite busy and we were already late for our next stop. I couldn’t leave without getting myself a magnet from the place. There is even a buffet restaurant in the Wieliczka salt mine where we got quick lunch. Then we followed the exit signs until we get to the last big chamber where we were picked up by the tour guide.

Luckily there are no more steps to conquer on the way up.

Another tour guide lead us through the labyrinth of salt mine halls to the elevator. Thank God the guide was with us cuz it was such a maze.

The elevator was just a small iron square space that is supposed to carry 15 people. No propper closing door, just something like a barrier. We were all squished together and another wave of dizziness followed. We were up in an unbelievable 30 seconds but I had to keep my eyes closed the whole time.

On our way back we hung up the recorder and headphone, went through another gift shop and were out of the building. That’s when the huge crowd of people hit us. Definitely, recommend getting to Wieliczka much earlier in the morning to avoid waiting in the line.

To sum it up.

It costed us around 200zlotys with parking, tickets, food, drinks, and souvenirs. Took us 3 hours with parking and toilet breaks. The temperature inside the mine is around 17°C and I would recommend taking a jacket just in case. There is no bigger baggage allowed. I had a small backpack and they didn’t even search it.

Worth it. Never knew salt could be that interesting.

Quick trip to Salt Mine Wieliczka in Poland Summer 2019 is almost over and I got my days off from work in the last week of August.

[driving-wild]

THE NEW CLIENT pt 3

Words: 890

Summary: Wedding planning, questions answered.

“Ok so now that’s all sorted, we just need to find you a wedding dress” Aliyah states, leaning back into the seat. We just finished the cake tasting and decided on a nice vanilla red velvet cake three tiers tall.

Derek had left the country for a business trip a week ago and left me to my own devices so I contacted Shawn and Aliyah to help with my wedding planning and to just hang out and drink, which is the current situation right now.

“Are you looking forward to your wedding?” Shawn asks and I smile at him.

“Of course I am” I answer.

“I see the way people look at me or us when they see him and I together or hear about our upcoming wedding. The tabloids don’t hid their commentary and I’m getting constant remarks on my social media postings. I’m not with him for his money, you know” I state, picking up my glass of water alcohol resides in it.

“We met when I was 19. Just at a bar drowning my sorrows with my friends after our massive exams. I was just at the bar wanting to order a drink and some guy is harassing me and he stepped in. Then I end up going home with him. Next thing I know I’m agreeing to be his girlfriend after 6 months of flinging around. I’m graduating and he’s in the crowd where my family should be, cheering me on and I realised that we had a good thing. I’m not using him for anything” I explain.

Before Shawn can say anything, the front door opens and we look to see Mildred and Ellis enter the house. I raise my eyebrows and quickly sit up.

“Oh I thought you were with Derek” Mildred states and I shake my head.

“Why are you here? Do you need something?” I ask.

“Dad said mum and I could stay in his guest house for a few nights. Our house is under renovation due to some water damage” Ellis explains and I nod quickly, getting up off the couch.

“Sure. This is Aliyah and Shawn. This is Derek’s son and his ex wife” I explain to the two parties.

“Would you like any dinner?” I ask and Mildred shook his head.

“No we’ve eaten but thank you. We’re just going to go out to the guest house” she explains.

I watch as they leave and let out a breath once the backdoor shuts.

“He keeps in contact with his former family?” Aliyah asks.

“Yes, which I’m glad he does. She ended up leaving him but he chose to divorce her. Things got a little messy but it somehow got sorted out in the end. Anyways I should clean up a little and get myself to bed” I smile.

After the Mendes siblings left, I sat in the bedroom by the window and just stare out of it with thoughts of Shawn swimming around in my head. For some reason I can’t get the handsome boy out of my head. I look down to the guesthouse and see Ellis sitting outside on his phone. Letting out a sigh, I close the curtains and climb into bed.

                                                ✰✰✰✰✰✰

It’s been a month since Derek has been gone. A month sleeping by myself while his wife and son sleep in the guesthouse. A month trying to fill my time with wedding dresses and lunches with friends. A month with minimal contact with my partner.

So I decided to invite Shawn over to spend time with me by the pool. Over the  past month we’ve caught up in public to have lunch or with his sister or do grocery shopping together. So here we are by the pool having a laugh at something one of his mates did.

“Gosh I miss this. I can’t remember the last time I was with a friend my age having a good catch up” I explain.

“What do you mean?” he asks and I shrug.

“My friends are all working and we catch up for maybe an hour or two on Sunday at brunch and don’t hang out like this anymore. I miss it. Things changed when I got with Derek I lost some of my friends and my social life. I just miss things that’s all” I explain, rolling onto my side to face him.

“Brave of you to be frolicking around with another man by your fiancé’s pool” came Mildred’s voice and I just roll my eyes before facing her.

“You do know that Derek said if you were ever rude or displeasing towards me, I have the right to kick you out. So instead of making snide remarks, make your way away from us until you have something nice to say. You may not be thrilled that your ex-husband is marrying someone that could be his daughter, but you don’t need to negative towards everything we do. I don’t have a problem with you but you’re making it hard for me to even be polite” I state. I turn away from her and face Shawn when a bright idea pops into my head.

“Come to brunch with me. Bring a friend. You can meet my friends. Have a good time. it’ll be fun” I say and Shawn nods his head.

“I’d love to” he answers.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #208

"if you want to soar with vultures, you'll have to swallow crow."

What may we call you? Brittany/Britt or Ozz/Ozzy. When can we send you a birthday card? (Figuratively, of course.): February 5th. And, where are you calling from? (Again, figuratively.): Please free me of the sweltering grip of North Carolina. What is your favorite Hostess/Little Debbie snack? BIIIIIIHHHHH that's too hard. I love that shit. I love the honeybuns, Twinkies, those little chocolate cupcakes... and really just most things lkdjalksdjwoe. Do you/your family buy loaf from the bakery or bagged on the shelf? Bagged. White, wheat or other? Mom usually buys whitewheat, but sometimes just wheat because she knows I prefer it. Have you ever fixed something without knowing just how you did it? I'm sure I have at some point. When was the last time you were on a plane? Last December. Where were you going and why? To Sara's for her birthday. What’s the best news you’ve gotten lately? Mom found a serious deal for a brand new Canon camera with more focal length range than my previous one and she bought it right in time for the wedding I shot yesterday. :') ^And, the worst? My niece may already be developing schizophrenia. If you could invent something, what would it be? Uhhhh... just one is hard. I literally just thought about this for like 5+ minutes and can't think of one singular invention that would actually be important. Well, maybe some sort of totally natural, long-lasting preservative for food? That'd help so many people and would greatly decrease the amount of fruits and such we waste, and it would also save money with probably slightly decreasing the frequency of grocery shopping. Tell me about your favorite pair of pants. I literally just have black yoga/dance pants lmao. Do you like getting dressed up? NO. Is your technology up to date? Depends on how "up-to-date" you mean. My stuff definitely isn't totally current. Ever been stuck next to someone really annoying on a LONG plane/train ride? Nah. Would you be embarrassed to find out you snored loudly in public? Yeah. Are you afraid of heights? Yes, to a degree. What is a compliment you get most often? "I like your hair"/stuff like that. Tell me about the last frightening/weird dream you had. This is hard, I like, never remember my dreams. Now, about the last pleasant dream you had. AHA I actually do remember this one: I got the rare-as-all-fuck and beautiful as all hell heavenly onyx cloud serpent in WoW, which I've tried getting every week for years. @_@ My eyes like popped open and I nearly gasped. Do you feel guilty about killing bugs? Sometimes. If there is a spider in your room, will you be up all night knowing that? YUP. How do you feel about coconut? I hate it. ^ Ever cracked one open? No. If you like someone, what do you do? Generally get shy and smile a lot when interacting with them. If you DON’T like someone, what do you do? Try to avoid being around them, keep talking to them to a minimum. What do you feel most insecure about? What DON'T I feel insecure about? Do you do your part to save the earth? I do what I can as not an independent adult (ex., I don't have my own car, so we don't drive to the dump). I turn the water off when brushing my teeth, I don't linger in the shower, I absolutely will not litter, things like that. Does it ROYALLY piss you off when your intended username is already taken? Yeesh, it doesn't even make me mad, it's just annoying. Describe your sunglasses. I don't have any. What’s the most you’ve spent on a pair of sunglasses? N/A ^Or, ladies, what about a purse? No clue, but definitely not a lot. Actually, what’s the most expensive clothing item/accessory you own? Again, I don't know. What is your favorite spoken language to listen to? Latin. Is there a TV switched on in the room you’re in? There is no TV. If so, what’s on? N/A What room of the house are you in anyway? My bedroom. Do you own anything that is special edition? I think some games, maybe? Maybe other things? Do you have any funky bookmarks? I have one of those moving 3D ones of meerkats. Do you know anyone with a British accent? Not personally. Are you reading any books at the moment? No. If so, tell me the plot briefly. N/A. When did you last get delivery pizza? A few weeks back. Drake Bell or Josh Peck? Back when the show was current, I preferred Drake. I know nothing about him now; Josh is cool, though. When was the last time you had a tick on you? EW idk I don't even wanna think about it. Do you watch Adult Swim? No, I hate it. It's crawling with immature humor. Have you been to the Grand Canyon? No. What is your favorite type of donut? Glazed or plain. Who usually makes dinner in your household? Mom. Name ALL the colors you’re wearing. Oh jeez, I have on a really colorful Day of the Dead-style skull tank top. Literally like every possible color. Are there more females or males in your family? Females. Have you submitted anything to Urban Dictionary? No. Did you have a Gameboy? If so, do you still have it? Yes to both. Is there a playground anywhere near your house? Define "near." Not very. Does anyone in your family snore loudly? Mom. What’s your favorite cereal? Probably Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Or Crunch Berries, the all berries kind. Do you read reddit? If so, how often and what subreddits do you like? No. Do you know anyone who’s had a baby recently? An old best friend from high school. When was the last time you ate marshmallows? Not since Sara was here and we had s'mores last summer. Do you listen to any podcasts? How do you listen to them? No. What brand of toilet paper do you usually buy? I don't pay attention to whatever Mom gets. Why did you leave your last job? The stress was giving me panic attacks. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying? No. What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud? Probably Mark or GameGrumps. How old were you when you first became sexually active? 16. What’s your opinion on The Simpsons? I don't have one. Do you know anyone who has been through a divorce? Plenty of people. Do you have to pay for parking in most places in the town/city you live in? No. Can you hear lots of traffic from your house? Does it bother you? A moderate amount. We live on a busy road. Would someone being either a cat or dog person effect you dating them? No. What is the smallest thing you lose your temper over instantly? Hm, idk. Talk to me like I'm an idiot will definitely get me, actually. What’s a job that doesn’t get enough respect? Mfckn teachers. They are WAY WAY WAY underpaid. What did you take for granted until you visited another country? Never left the country. What is the worst first date you’ve been on? Tyler had a flat tire, and we had to walk to the gas station for something I don't remember and back to the sketchy tire place, and it was SO cold and windy. It didn't actually bother me, like he felt godawful and it wasn't like it was in his power, but from a date standpoint, yeah, that was an event. Who is your favorite scientist and why? I'm not educated enough on various scientists for this. Do you prefer emoticons or emoji? Emoticons. What’s the hardest task you’ve ever had to do? Open my mind in partial hospitalization to let Jason go and recover. How did you meet your pet? Teddy was from a friend of a family friend who knew we were looking for a dog. He was a present for me, so I didn't actually pick him, but rather Ashley chose the last remaining puppy with brown on him, and boy did she make the best decision. Roman was one of the shitload of kittens Ash's mother-in-law had; I was immediately drawn to him with his beautiful blue eyes. <3 Venus was from an online hub of ball python breeders, and I just absolutely fell in love with her colors. Kaiju and Mitsu were both from Craigslist. Do you look like any of your grand- or great-grandparents? I don't have a clue. Did/Do you have any PEZ dispensers? Oh yeah. Do you like grapes or raisins better? I only like grapes. What is the most extreme weather your area has ever experienced? I looked it up; the coldest in history is -9*, highest is 105*. Is there anything you plan on watching on TV today? No. Are there any broken appliances in your house? Maybe. Mom may still have my old Sager in hopes of fixing it one day or something, but I feel like we finally got rid of it. What color is the lampshade in the room you’re in? I don't have a lamp in here. At school, what is/was your worst area in math? I don't remember. Have Jehovah's Witnesses ever called to your door? Yes. Do you ever throw money in those ‘wishing’ wells? No. Waste of coins. Ever take money out of them? No. Are you well known by people in your area? No. What is the picture on the desktop on the computer you’re using? A meerkat. Have you ever had your future told? No. Do you 'spit on it’, to seal a deal? No no no ew. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, thank god. If so, have you had any scary hallucinations? N/A Do you believe in ghosts? Totally. Would you ever stay overnight in a haunted house? Sure thing. When was the last time you had an injection? What for? Months ago when I was getting a cavity filled at the dentist. For some reason, I would NOT go totally numb until they gave me like 5+ doses. Is there anything you cannot wait to be over? This eternally-looping groundhog's day bullshit. I want a job, to be in school, friends, just a damn purpose. Do you have any enemies? "Enemies," no. People I don't like that also don't like me, yes. What was the last thing you had done at the dentist? Speak of the dentist, lol. Said cavity filling. Do you scrunch your face up when eating sour things? No, I'm not very affected by sour things. As a child, did you ever get the chance to go to Disney World/Disneyland? World, yes. <3 Are you someone who is really committed to politics in your area/country? No. When was the last time you were on a boat? Where did you travel on it? Two summers ago when I was fishing with Colleen, her husband, and dad. Does your family ever have any kind of weird traditions in your house? No. What would you consider your favorite movie from a different decade? The Lion King. Do you ever take bubble baths only to relax yourself in some way? I never take any kind of bath. When was the last time you were sick? What were you sick with and why? I don't remember. Have you ever wanted your significant other to get rid of a friend? Yes, though I had serious reason, but I wasn't in any way demanding about it/nothing was actually affected by them remaining friends. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They've both moved out. Do you know anyone who has or has had any kind of mental illness/disorder? I'd love to meet someone who can possibly say "no" to this. Do you ever go to Blockbuster? How frequently would you say you go? *stares off into the distance wistfully* Is your mother a stay-at-home mother or does she work somewhere? She never stops working. What food would you just want to disappear off the face of the earth? Nothing? I'm not going to take away the diet of people depending on some source I just happen to hate. Do movies with super heroes intrigue you in any way? Why is this? Yeah, I just like fantasy stuff, and I enjoy the majority of the plots. I also just enjoy the idea of superheroes existing. Do you watch those late-night talk shows? What’s the best part about them? No. Do you ever listen to music so you can actually change your emotion? I try to sometimes. Do you like shopping alone? I've never really shopped alone. Does your best girlfriend have any talents that you don’t? Yeah, like she can animate pretty well! Have you ever written a song? I wrote a fucking song to the Nintendogs theme as a kid lmfao. Does anybody send you money in the mail for your birthday? My grampa always did, but he's sadly passed away, so now, no. Do you own any shirts that have a year on it? Ha ha, I have a Back to the Future shirt stored somewhere with the date on it, and it says "I was there." What do you think about mullets? I absolutely hate them. Would you rather date an actor or an athlete? I find actors more talented. I'd be afraid of an athlete s/o getting hurt, too. Do you have any scratches on your cell phone? No. Somehow. When was the last time you blushed? I don't remember, it's definitely been a while. Who is one person you met and automatically didn’t like? A doctor for my tremors. She was a BITCH with just such an unlikable, dull personality. Never went back to her. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? I have a Nintendo DS Lite somewhere... and then my laptop is actually a gaming laptop. What movie coming out do you really want to see? The. Live action. TLK. First day? I'm fuckin' THERE son. Is your skin tone lighter or darker than your mom’s? We're about the same. What is the best thing about the beach? All I care about is if the water's warm. Have you ever done another person’s make-up? I gave Jason a makeover once lmao. Have you ever spied on your neighbor? No. Do you think they’ve ever spied on you? No. What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? Brown. Honestly, do you double dip? No, I break chips apart. I will if I'm eating by myself, though. What color is your birthstone? Purple. What is one thing you don’t like sharing? Hmmm. Oh, probably candy, lmao. Where on your body would you NEVER get a piercing? Downstairs. Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? He's been in so many, I don't have a clue. I like him, though. Who was one of your first celebrity crushes? Jesse McCartney was my husband. Did your parents ever read stories to you before bed? Mom did. What are you listening to? "Queen For Queen" by Motionless In White. Do you like hickeys? If they're not in an obvious spot. Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? No. When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? I don't have a best friend besides Sara, and I talk to her everyday. Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? Sara. Do you believe what goes around comes around? Not always. Do you have any summer plans yet? No. I'd like to go up and visit Sara, but I have no clue if that'll happen, especially with me trying so hard to get a job. Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? One. Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Yes. Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Yes. Do you think age matters in relationships? To an extent when a minor is involved. Even huge gaps in adult relationships creep me out, but there's nothing morally wrong with it. How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? Two. Do you believe exes can be friends? It depends on the intensity of the relationship, I think. Plus what went wrong. Did you ever lose a best friend? Yeah. Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? Lol poor thing's seen me sob. Are most of your friend guys or girls? Girls. When was the last time you took a long drive? A few days ago to my psychiatrist. About an hour drive. Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? No. Have you ever TP'd someone’s house? Well, considering I've never been that damn immature, no. Who do you text the most? Sara. What was the last movie you saw? Detective Pikachu. It was cute, although I was expecting it to be more targeted towards an older audience with Ryan Reynolds playing Pikachu. (I knew nothing about it going into it.) Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? I'm monogamous. What do you most like about making out? The touching/caressing. Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? No. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? No. Do you miss your last sweetie? Not romantically. It'd be nice to hang out again, though. Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? No. If you could kiss anyone who would it be? Y'all been known. What’s your favorite flavor of soda, pop or whatever else you call it? Blue raspberry. Have you ever attended a religious or private school? Yes; I went to Sunday school. How many cars does your household own? One. What time do you usually have dinner? 4:00 for fasting reasons. What’s your favorite meat? Probably chicken. Do you need glasses to read or drive or need them all the time? I always need them. Are you a very forgetful person? I'm so forgetful that I literally sometimes have borderline anxiety attacks that I'm developing dementia or something at age 23 lmao. What is the best gift anyone has ever gotten for you? My dog. Do you look anything like you did 3 years ago? I guess somewhat, though I was way bigger and my hair was much longer. Have you done something dramatic to your looks in the past year? No. Make up or no make up? I think everyone inevitably looks better with make-up as it enhances features and dulls imperfections, but I personally couldn't care less if you wear it or not. I almost never do, so I can't talk. What’s your favorite thing to watch on the TV? IF I was to watch TV now, probably things like animal documentaries. Would you rather be anorexic or obese? Actually go fuck yourself. Do you upload videos to YouTube? Definitely not regularly. I don't know the next time I'll make one. Do you own any albums by Michael Jackson? No. Do you like your phone on silent or vibrate? Vibrate. Do you like Beavis and Butthead? I don't watch it, but it honestly seems pretty damn stupid. What do you believe happens after we die? Who even knows, really. I believe there's something after we die, but we'll have to wait to find out what. Does the concept of eternity scare you? It kinda... does, actually? Like, wouldn't it get boring eventually? Are you happy that you were born and raised where you were? I suppose. Are your parents still together? No. Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now? Yes, and I want to see their fckng son he's gonna be so cute. She's due soon and I pray I get to take pictures of him. Is there a band you like but don’t like the people in it? Blood On The Dance Floor and Otep. Well, Otep is respectable in some areas, but all things considered, she is a bitch. What tabs do you have open right now? Fucking five YouTube tabs, dA, and Tumblr. Who was the last person to write on your wall on Facebook? No clue, and I don't feel like looking. Have you ever seen a tornado in person? Thank Christ in Heaven no. Are you between the ages of 30 & 40? No. How much was a gallon of gasoline when you first started driving? I have no clue, when I got my permit. What was your first car? N/A Who taught you how to drive? My driver's ed teacher and my mom. What was your high school mascot? A firebird. Did you go to your senior prom? Yes. What did you do after graduation? Honestly? I don't even remember, almost at all, lmao. I either went to Jason's or went home/Jason came with me. Any posters on your bedroom walls growing up? When Nicole and I shared a room, she literally covered the fucking walls in Jonas Brothers shit while I was at a friend's house, and I was. Very. Very. Unhappy. Do you remember the first time you drank a beer? I've never had beer, don't want to. Did you ever try cigarettes? No. How did you spend your summers growing up? Swimming, hanging out with friends, playing outside, riding bikes, playing softball with Dad, playing video games... If you could change anything from your teenage years, would you? Hey, could I have been like, a happy teenager??? Do you remember your first time? No considering at that time I didn't realize it essentially was sex, so it wasn't something that stood out at the time. After high school - straight to college or straight to work? I went straight to college. Favorite home-cooked meal growing up? Spaghetti. Favorite place to eat out growing up? It was probably McDonald's. How many stuffed animals do you own? I literally have multiple huge bags in the attic of childhood stuffed animals I couldn't get rid of, lmao. Are you good at comebacks? WOW no. When’s the last time you watched the news? I don't have the slightest idea. Do you love Christmas time? Of course. Do you really think that the number 13 is unlucky? No. What’s your favorite flavor of cough drops? Omggg I love those strawberry ones. Do you have a fan in your room? Yes. I wouldn't survive without it. Do you think Cookie Monster is cute? I don't really feel either way. Do you like candy canes? Yes. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? Yes. Which is worse: stuffy nose or runny nose? Probably stuffy? I don't have a runny nose much, but I've got pleeeenty of experience with stuffy noses. Which is worse: Sick to your stomach or sore throat? THE FORMER. What’s your favorite smiley face? c: Do you think your last relationship was a disaster? No. How many concerts have you been to? One. :/ Would you ever join a band? If I was actually talented with the guitar, maybe, but as things are now, nope. Which internet browser do you use? Chrome. Do you know anyone who is a firefighter? No. What was the last wedding you went to? Just a few days ago for a lady who contacted me about shooting hers. It was a great one, and honestly wonderful to see an interracial wedding here in the South. You do nooot see that everyday. What’s your favorite alcoholic beverage? Margaritas. When was the last time you saw a photo of your ex? Probably the last time I was uploading pictures from my old phone; it's the one I take the once-a-year selfie because the Samsung camera is ACTUAL trash. Do you “binge-watch” TV shows? No. Well actually, on the occasions Sara and I have, I can only handle a handful at a time before I completely lose focus on it or, at that time anyway, interest. What is your opinion of clowns? I don't have one. Do you play any games on your phone? Only Pokemon GO if I'm somewhere I can actually play it. Do you plan ahead when it comes to your outfits? No. Have you ever shaved your face? We have this tiny automatic razor thing for your upper lip, and I use that like once a month or less because yay having dark body hair. What color is your front door? White. What was the last vaccination you got? Whatever those mandatory ones are when you become a teenager. Idr. Would you ever try herbal medicine as opposed to conventional medicine? No. If I need medicine for something, I'm using something I know works. Have you ever been to a petting zoo? I think as a kid? Do/did you have a curfew set by your parents? It wasn't heavily enforced, but Mom preferred I be home by 10 if I went somewhere. How many times have you consumed alcohol? *shrugs* When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? I have noooo clue. When was the last time you sang an ENTIRE song? Good question. I rarely sing an entire song, rather just parts. Do you consider yourself to be attractive? I don't mind my face, but I do NOT like my body, so overall, no. Are you addicted to anything? Technology. What are you craving right now? I've had an insane craving for hot dogs on the grill for like a week now lmao. Mom's doing that and buying some drinks today for the two of us. I wanted my sisters to come for some family time, but my younger sister has homework, and then Ash and kids like... never come here. "Because of the dogs," according to her husband, but I don't believe that. Are you a forgiving person? I'm way too forgiving. Do you have a brother? Yes. Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? WHOA actually I think I semi-recently had a nightmare of me going ham stabbing someone for some reason I don't remember. What would you want your last words to be if you could choose them? "I love you" or then "see you on the other side" is cute to me and also indicates we'll be together again. So probably the latter. What band can’t you stand listening to? I reeeaaally dislike Mumford and Sons. His voice is awful. What is your favorite mystery/crime/FBI related show? Does Sherlock count as a mystery show? Would you ever have a bird as a pet? Nah. How’s your relationship between you and your grandparents? Not wonderful. I don't like her very much, and evidence says I'm not her favorite person, either. Do you have a photographic memory? No. Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No. Do you know someone who’s been cremated? Hm, don't think so. Have you ever talked to someone when they were high? Yes. Your ex is on the side of the road, on fire. What do you do? Uh, call 911??? Dunk water on him if at all possible? I'm not just gonna drive past anyone who's on fucking fire. It’s 2 in the morning and you get a text message, who is it most likely? Sara. I only ever text her and Mom, and Mom would be right outside my door asleep, so. Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? Is there anyone who hasn't? When was the last time you saw your father? Not since his birthday last month. Do you like any of Justin Bieber’s songs? No. Any time when you need to search something on the Internet, which search engine do you use? Google. Do you believe saving your virginity for marriage or no? I don't care. I believe in saving it for someone you truly, deeply love. When you were a kid, did you ever like Barney? Yes. Omfg I just remembered something with my older sister; when she was little, Barney was her "boyfriend." She was "talking on the phone" with him once, and when Mom interrupted her, she scoffed and said, "I'm talking to Barney." And then Ash and Barney had an ACTUAL "ceremony" for a divorce. That's a thing that happened. What’s the capital of state, country, or providence you live in? Raleigh. When you open your web browser, what is your home page set to? Why did you select this? Google. I think it was automatically set. Would you allow a camera crew to follow you around and make a reality series out of your life (no matter how boring it is) if you got paid well? Why? No. I'd get so fucking annoyed, I'd feel under constant scrutiny, and I don't want fame. If your car broke down would you call a friend or family member to pick you up or would you call AAA (or something like it)? I'd call my mom and listen to her on what to do from there. Do you put a lot of thought into the gifts you buy for people? YEAH. It's rare I actually have my own money to buy gifts for anyone, so when I can, I think hard. On an average day do your thoughts tend to be more positive or negative? Negative, I think. Do you ever trust anyone else to drive your car? If you don’t have a car, do your friends and family ever allow you to drive their vehicles? I don't have my own, but Mom lets me drive hers. Name at least one thing you like about each season. Winter: SNOW. Spring: Flowers!! Summer: swimming. Autumn: visuals. What amount of time do you think is perfect for a vacation? I guess a week?

[lovemesomesurveys]

SPRING

1. Have you ever played in a water puddle?: No.

2. Have you ever played in a mud puddle?: Nooo.

3. Have you ever been through a flood (that flooded your house/property)?: No, thankfully. 4. Have you ever wished on a rainbow?: No. I haven’t heard of that being a thing. 5. Have you ever owned a pink, red, purple or yellow umbrella?: Uhh I don’t think so.

6. Have you ever saw rain so thick you couldn’t see more than a couple feet in front of you?: Yes. 7. Have you ever made love (outside) in the rain?: No.

8. Have you ever kissed someone (outside) in the rain?: Yes. 9. Have you ever lost control of your car in the rain?: I don’t drive. I do get anxious when in the car while it’s raining, though. 10. Have you ever gone swimming (outdoors) while it was raining?: Yes. I didn’t stay in long because I got too cold, though. 11. Have you ever tried to catch raindrops in your mouth?: Yeah. 12. Have you ever cried simply because it was raining?: No. I love the rain. 13. Have you ever slipped and fallen (outside) in the rain?: No. 14. Have you ever had to work (outdoors) in the rain?: Nope. 15. Do April showers really bring May flowers?: Yep. SUMMER 1. Have you ever been to summer camp?: No. I’ve been to science camp in 6th grade and to a Girl Scout’s camp, though. 2. Have you ever had to attend summer school?: Yes. I missed a lot of school in 6th grade due to a long hospital stay after a surgical procedure. I also took some classes during the summer in college, but that was by choice. 3. Have you ever experienced a summer where the temperature exceeded 120'F/49'C?: Noooo omg. It gets like mid 100′s here and I die. I start complaining when it gets into the upper 70s! 4. Do you live in a hot or cold (normally) climate?: Hot and I hate it.

5. Has it ever snowed in the summer (between June 1 and September 1) where you lived?: It never snows here.

6. Was that normal for where you lived?: 7. Have you ever attended an outdoor wedding, or a funeral, in the summer?: Yes. 8. Have you ever travelled to another state or country in the summertime?: Yes. 9. Have you ever had a summer romance/crush/fling/relationship?: With Joseph. 10. Has your community ever had a “smog alert”?: Yeah. AUTUMN/FALL 1. Have you ever raked leaves, and then played in them?: No. 2. What’s your favourite autumn leaf colour?: Orange, yellow, and red. 3. Have you ever enjoyed going back to school?: Yeah, actually. Although, it was probably more so the back to school shopping. ha. 4. Did/does your high/secondary school have air conditioning?: I’m done with school. 5. Have they ever cancelled school because it was too hot?: No. 6. Do you celebrate Halloween/Samhain?: We decorate for Halloween, but that’s all we do. I don’t dress up anymore. 7. Have you ever been trick or treating?: Yep. I went as a kid up until I was like 16 lol. 8. Have you ever witnessed a “harvest moon”?: Yeah. 9. Have you ever tried to catch leaves as they fell from a HIGH tree?: No. WINTER 1. Have you ever played in a snow fort?: No. 2. Do they even get snow where you live?: No. :( 3. Have you ever been in a snowball fight?: No. 4. Which do you prefer - sledding/tobogganing OR skiing (downhill and/or cross country?): Never done either one.

5. Has it ever been “too cold” to snow where you live?: It doesn’t snow here at all, unfortunately. 6. Have you ever lost control of your vehicle in snow?: I don’t drive. That hasn’t happened while I was a passenger while going through snow, though. Thankfully. 7. Have you ever been ice skating?: No. 8. Have you ever had to shovel snow?: No. 9. Have you ever experienced “cat’s breath”, the wind was so powerful it took your breath away, literally?: I’ve never heard that saying, but no.

10. Have you ever tried to catch a snowflake on your tongue?: No. 11. Has your/or have you been in, a car that was stuck in a snowstorm?: No, but while coming back from a trip we had to pass through somewhere where it was snowing and the roads were getting icy. We ended up finding a hotel to stay at for the night instead of getting chains and trying to drive in that condition.

[capaldisrighteyebrow]

Unorthodox Auto Repair - A Reylo Fic

That time this video came up in chat and @mnemehoshiko made me have cracky Reylo thoughts about fixing car dents with dildos.Thanks to @spacedarcy for reading this over and helping me fix that pesky problem!

Links: FF | AO3 (ETA: Link added!)

Rey has a split second to make her choice: take the fall or chance an impact. If she swerves now, she'll have to lay down the 200 kilogram bike—not the best option under any circumstance, but a full-blown Bad Idea when sporting a mini dress and heels instead of proper leathers and boots. Damn Rose and her insistence that her bachelorette party should feel like Vegas despite taking place at the Tico family farm.

Option two doesn't give her much better odds: if she brakes now, she may not have the distance to spare before hitting the jackass sitting at the crossroads without so much as parking lights. Her only saving grace is that her heels paired with the unfamiliar country roads have tempered her lead foot. She's kept the engine between her thighs at an even purr instead of coaxing it to the delicious growl she loves to hear, because she does want to show up to Finn's wedding alive come morning.

Gritting her teeth, Rey makes her choice.

In the Porsche's insulated cabin, he almost doesn't hear the screeching tires. By the time he does, it's too late. The car lurches forward from the hit, though it only moves a few inches while parked. Ben scrambles up from his reclined seat, the stars he was observing through the windshield utterly forgotten, and throws open the door.

This night just keeps getting better and better, he thinks sourly. First, the disastrous corporate banquet; now, this.

The air smells like burnt rubber as he circles round to the back of the car. An accented voice scares away the songs of nearby nocturnal creatures concealed in the cornfields surrounding the intersection.

"Shit," the voice exclaims as the girl flips up her visor and starts to remove her helmet with shaky hands. "Fuck."

He casts a cursory glance over the two vehicles. The headlight of the motorcycle shines on his back end, the only light for miles and miles just inches from his bumper. There's a dent, but nothing looks cracked or scratched on his end; her bike's front wheel didn't fare as well. The popped tire sags, making it look like the aging Triumph is bowing to his car.

Insurance details can be hashed out after manners have been met. "Are you okay?"

She swings her right leg backward, dismounting the bike. The black fabric bunched at her hips falls down to her upper thighs, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't take in how much skin stretches between the hem and her black pumps. Legs. Legs for days. Toned and smooth and. . .the absolute last thing he should be focusing on right now.

"I didn't ask to see my life flash before my eyes," the girl answers after running her hands over the front of her leather jacket and up again to grip the back of her neck, "but yeah, I'm fine."

Now that manners are dispensed with, his voice takes on a harder edge, "Are you drunk?"

"I've had drinks," she throws back, "but that's not the problem."

He holds the shock of anger in his fists, squeezing it up his arms and through his neck, before finally gritting it out around his teeth. "You rear-ended my car."

She tosses her hair over her shoulder, kicking up dust from the road as she steps toward him, an accusatory finger pointed at the loosened knot of his tie. "I bumped into your black car that didn't have any fucking lights on in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere at night," she counters. "If anyone was a hazard on the road, it was you."

He's both impressed and horrified by her words. The sharks he swims with usually conceal their teeth around him; seeing them bared and ready to bite is oddly refreshing. "Are you always this eloquent at three in the morning?"

"Only when my best friend is getting married tomorrow, and his fiance will kill me if I end up in jail," the girl goes on.

"I didn't say I was going to call the cops," Ben remarks. He has every right to. Taking his car in to be looked at by the dealer for underlying damage will cost him more than what her bike is worth. Still. . .the truth she hit upon nags at him: he is at least partially responsible for the accident. Parking at an intersection without hazards—even on a back road no one should be cruising through on a still-dark Saturday morning—wasn't the best choice on his end.

Her eyes snap up to his, hopeful. "You mean that?"

Ben groans inwardly. Considering the age of her bike and the sudden calmness in her tone, he assumes it means she has no insurance. He doesn't care much; money has never been a concern on his radar. But her bike is inoperable, if not totaled. How is she going to get it fixed without coverage? What would have happened had she been thrown from the bike and injured?

He puts aside the what-ifs to focus on the present. His jaw eats around the lie as his hand waves off the entire accident, willing to sweep it under the proverbial rug seeing as neither of them are hurt. "There's no damage."

Her eyes narrow. "Are you blind? Or do you really not see that dent?"

"It's nothing major," he corrects.

She's already shaking her head at him, not accepting his words even though she's the one that benefits from him not making a fuss. This girl seems determined to hold on to something he's ready to move past, to forget.

She crouches next to his bumper, hands smoothing over the impact site, whispering her apologies. "I'm so sorry, gorgeous. I'm gonna fix you up in no time."

"Are you talking to my—?"

"Shh," she hisses. "Let me think. I can get this dent out. I know I can."

She'd give anything to have her tools. Normally, she keeps the essentials in her saddlebag at all times, but she'd needed the space to transport party supplies tonight. For a moment she considers offering to fix the dent at her shop on Monday—even goes so far as to visualize the sleek, black 911 model nestled into the single station she calls a garage—but brushes off the thought.

The G-Man, whom she's upgraded from jackass due to his offer to forego a paper trail, would probably laugh at such an offer. He's dressed in navy Tom Ford pants and a tailored white shirt that knows every curve of muscle in his upper arms and chest intimately. This is the kind of man who doesn't work for the government so much as is the government. He doesn't come to businesses that break half a dozen OSHA laws unless he's there to give a citation.

Better not to invite trouble, Rey agrees with herself. Even so, she can't leave his beautiful Porsche looking like this. If only I had something with suction. . .

"Ah!" she cries, startling his spine straight in her eureka moment. Spinning dangerously on her heels, she bends over to dig through her saddlebag. It's a crazy idea, but the physics of it should be the same no matter if the pull is coming from a traditional suction cup or from the more unorthodox tool she has on hand thanks to Rose and her ridiculous party favors.

Her hand finally closes around the soft shaft of silicone and she whips it out into the country air.

At first, Ben isn't sure he's seeing what he's seeing. It can't possibly be that.

She straightens and holds the electric blue dildo aloft like it's some award. A delighted laugh at her ingenuity turns into a fit of giggles as she considers the obscenely large phallus, pressing the base to her hand several times as if testing it out. Whatever simulation she's running, it passes. "This should do the trick."

He intercedes before she can reach his vehicle. "Wait," he tells her, "You're going to fix my car with a. . .with that?"

Her smile falters slightly as she looks from him to the intimate toy—how anything so imposing can be called a toy, he can't begin to fathom. Flipping the dildo so she's holding the tip, she shows him the end with the concave cup. "It's just like a plunger," she explains. "It'll work just fine. These things have some incredible suction."

He's at a loss for words, but his eyebrows must speak for him because her eyes cringe shut and she runs her tongue along her bottom lip. "Not that I would know," she mutters, clearing her throat.

"This really isn't necessary," he protests. "I can have a mechanic work it out tomorrow."

"I am a mechanic," she returns with a proud smile. "And one that won't charge you a fucking pound of flesh for an easy fix."

Without another word, she brushes past him and kneels down on the road, clenching her jaw against the bite of the asphalt on her bare knees.

"It's just. . ." he begins again, gesturing at the thing he can't seem to name without his cheeks threatening to catch fire. "Why do you even have it?"

She shrugs as she lines up the base of the dildo with the center of the dent. The thing is so large that even her two hands don't cover all of it. "It's from the party. No need to worry," she adds, "I haven't used it yet."

Rey remembers learning about spontaneous human combustion in school and thinks it might be happening to her right now, starting at her ears. Haven't used it yet? she repeats to herself with an internal groan she wonders if he can hear. You don't plan on using it at all, Rey. It was a gag gift.

She goes silent with embarrassment and hopes he thinks she's concentrating on her task. There's not a chance in hell that she can meet his eyes right now to check. Instead, she secures her hold around the dildo and presses it firmly against the dent. She feels the air compress beneath it, gives the dildo a slight twist to lock it in place, and then yanks back with a determined pull.

The dent pops out with a hollow thunk, and it's over. Easy, peasy. She's probably just saved him a grand with a five second job.

His remark is a dumbfounded whisper: "I can't believe that worked."

She's still flushed from her previous comment, but she can't help grinning at the skeptic. "I said I could fix it. I'm good at fixing things. Always have been."

"Even with your skills," he starts, "I don't think there's a way you can fix that tonight."

She follows his gaze to her busted front tire, and Rey scrunches her nose at the sight. It really is a miracle that she wasn't bucked from her seat when the rear of the bike popped up. Having opted for two wheels all her life, Rey's had her fair share of scary situations and taken one or two trips to the ER; tonight marks the first time she's ever been truly afraid of not walking away.

"I'll have to call for an Uber," she remarks, tucking the dildo under her arm to retrieve her phone. "Finn will give me a tow to my shop in the morning."

As she unzips a pocket on her leather jacket and removes her phone, Ben scuffs the asphalt with his cap-toe Oxfords. Getting an Uber to come all the way out here at this hour is going to take forever and cost her an arm and leg. He would extend an offer to drive her home, but he can't think of a way to express it without coming off sounding like a creep. They are relative strangers, after all. He doesn't even know her name.

"I'll wait with you," he says instead, leaning against the side of his car and tucking his hands into the pockets of his pants. "It's the least I can do."

"You might be out here until dawn," she comments as she scrolls through the app to contact a driver.

"I insist."

Her thumbs stop moving across the screen. The girl peers up at him, cocking her head to the side. "If you're willing to wait that long, why not just give me a lift?"

Ben thanks the stars that she is the one who asks, and he pushes away from the vehicle. "I'd be happy to, if you're comfortable with that."

She looks from him to the car, an odd sense of longing in her glance. In the eyes of a mechanic, the sleek Porsche must be an awfully big temptation. The hunger in her gaze isn't focused on him, that's for sure. He fleetingly wonders if it's possible to be jealous of his own car.

"On one condition," she states, then changes her mind, "No, two."

Tentatively, he nods in agreement. He did say he wants her to be comfortable with him driving her home. "Make your demands."

"Show me your ID."

Of all the things she could have said, that isn't what he anticipated. "My what?"

"Your license," she repeats. "I don't make a habit of getting into cars with men at three AM. You could be a serial killer."

His eyes go wide and his jaw slack in mild horror—these are the conclusions women leap to?—but he's already digging into his back pocket for his wallet. In a moment, he produces it and slips his driver's license out of the clear window, holding it out to her between two fingers while questioning her logic, "Even if I was out to kidnap beautiful women, how would having my license keep you safe?"

She shrugs, snapping a picture of it and tapping out a message he presumes she's sending to a friend. "It wouldn't," she answers, "but at least if I go missing, the police will know where to look first."

"A bit morbid, don't you think?"

"I like to think of it as pragmatic," she responds, finally reading his name from the card, "Ben Solo."

He watches the way her mouth forms his name, how her pink lips kiss together before curving around the vowels. "What's your other condition?" he inquires as he plucks his ID from her hand.

She moves past him and ghosts her free hand an inch over the car's shell, headed for the passenger side door, as she makes her second request: "I want to hear her roar. I may never get the chance to ride in one of these again, and. . .it'll kill me if I don't find out what she can do."

He mirrors her movements as she speaks, meeting her on the opposite side of the car. He was right about the hungry look in her eyes as they feasted upon his car. "I think I can make that happen," he agrees with a wide grin, adding, "But he prefers to be called 'Kylo.'"

"Ben and Kylo," she repeats with a smile. "We had a rough start, but I'm glad to have met you both. I'm Rey."