#i’m going away for a long time…..
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i’m just a man, but i know that i’m damned / all the dead seem to know where i am…..
#timothy's txts.#all the dead………#the ghost on the shore by lord huron#i’m going away for a long time…..
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I’m against trans community infighting but I just don’t see it coming “from both sides” in the way people react to it as. There’s some kind of bigger disconnect here than transmascs & transfems being hostile towards one another. Just look at the difference scrolling through the “transandrophobia” versus “transmisogyny” tags. I literally cannot go through the transmisogyny tag without “transandrophobia truthers/transandrodorks/<whatever they’re saying now>” being shit on multiple times and sometimes outright told “I want [you] dead” when I don’t see anything like this in the transandrophobia tags.
From the transfem perspective it’s surely about transmisogyny but how is anyone in the transandrophobia conversation supposed to take being called a transmisogynist seriously right now? They’re called transmisogynists just for using the word transandrophobia, while being told the word is transmisogynistic because the person who coined it is. But then the evidence I’ve personally been sent for this is that he (as a sex worker I’m told) engaged in consensual detrans roleplay AND that evidence literally included his BDSM test results as proof of hymn being a Bad Person. If transfems want to call out transmisogyny in transmasc circles then excellent, so do I, but can they say what the alleged transmisogyny actually is so we can go about combatting it?
#I would at least recommend shifting to making the transandrophobia conversation LESS transmisogynistic rather than dismissing it completely#we’re not going away. I’ve felt seen in this discussion for the first time as a transmasc who still experiences misogyny. I’m not going awa#but obviously I want to call out transmisogyny in my communities & myself. how do I do that if just opening my mouth is called transmisogyn#transandrophobia#transmisogyny#intracommunity issues tag#mine#long post
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I like to think alternate Leo was about 17 when he got ricocheted into the universe. I also like to think he turned 18 at some point as he was still away, becoming an adult and meeting that milestone in his life all alone.
#rise comic spoilers#tmnt 40th anniversary#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt headcanons#no confirmation about their ages but they still looked like kids so that’s what I’m going with#had to be post invasion long enough for them all to be healed up#but soon enough to still look the way they do#and there’s just something so tragic about Leo becoming an adult far away from his family#about Raph just barely an adult and already everything’s falling apart#about Donnie becoming an adult with his family around but more alone than ever#about Mikey who sees this all and dreads dreads dreads getting older#because it seems every time a family member reaches 18 something awful happens#I think they may be meant to be about 20 or so if we take actual time in the real world into account#but I like this more ngl#it also makes more sense to me personally based on their designs and attitudes#even if he was already 19-20 it would still be incredibly tragic#but just based on looks alone it seems more likely that it was relatively soon after the invasion
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A year was not so long after all. He prepared her for the day when he would leave. But when the moment came, he found himself less prepared than she. For the first time in his life, Spock thought about returning from a mission, wondered whether or not he would survive. She had no one else, and that was a disturbing thought.
Back on board the Enterprise, he opened his case to unpack his few belongings and found things not quite as he’d left them. Tucked in at the bottom under all the folded clothes, Saavik had hidden away her knife. Spock stood in the privacy of his cabin turning it in his hand, remembering every word of their good-bye.
Some small doodles based on the above passages :)
#my art#described#star trek: tos#the pandora principle#s'chn t'gai spock#s'chn t'gai saavik#spock#saavik#jim kirk#she left her knife with him and I’m supposed to be normal about that. okay#thing I’m also apparently supposed to be normal about: in those five years spock could’ve tossed the knife. he could’ve!! but he kept it!!!#he kept a weapon!! because it was Saavik’s!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT THIS OTHER THAN CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also I know it’s ooc for spock to be openly weeping like that but I thought it was funney so I did it anyway. although dang maybe I -#- should’ve considered him doing like. a garnet cry instead. waterfalls coming out of his eyes but he remains expressionless.#ough man that also would’ve been good#also it kills me that in the end spock was more worried about leaving than saavik. spent all that time preparing her but oh you didn’t -#- expect youd need to prepare yourself too didn’t ya huh????? huh???????? admit it. you’re a father spock#also like. did spock just say ‘hey I need to go away for a. year.’ and Jim was just like ‘okey dokey pal :3’ LIKE DID HE EVER WONDER#or maybe spock has just wracked up so many unused vacation days that Jim’s just thinking that’s what he’s doing. like ‘hell yea bud take -#- a nice long break. the ship’ll be here when you’re ready :)’ did Jim ever wonder if spock was doing like. kolinahr 2 or something#ANYWAY ANYWAY LOTTA TAGS FOR SOME SILLY DOODLES TAKE EM
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I feel like now is a good time to announce that I’m in the process of moving blogs! Im doing so for a few reasons, the main one being paranoia, so for that reason I won’t be saying my new urls publicly so like please dm me if you’d like my new url so you can follow me there! I’ll be reblogging this post a lot so ppl can see it (so sorry if you get annoyed by that)!
I’m also remaking my discord account as well so if we’re friends on there then feel free to message me for my new username!
friends and mutuals please do reblog so shared friends/mutuals have a higher chance seeing it!
#whimsy whispers#I’m just like ahdjfjjg#I’ve been considering remaking blogs for a few years now (as some of you may know) and like simply changing urls isn’t enough#no matter how many times I chnage urls the paranoia won’t go away and I think that starting a new blog is the best choice#idk what to do if my newest blog gets found by the ppl I’m paranoid about like idk the odds of that are low (I hope) alas I’m still anxious#about it#for some slight context: I’ve had several people now pop up in my life pretending to be other people/several people and while I’ve blocked#then on every social media account I interacted with them in im still paranoid about them lurking#and then like there’s other reasons to remake as well#I’m tired of this blog like I love it it’s been fun but I think starting over will be nice#tbh this is the longest I’ve had a blog without remaking I usually remake accounts every so often#I don’t intend to remake my next blog like at all but like agdhjfjg I have a habit of getting bored of accounts and staring over (usually#this applies to art accounts like y’all wouldn’t believe how many deviantart accounts I’ve had)#uhhhh idk I’ve been rambling for too long#I have this in drafts rn but you should be seeing this post soon
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i’m sooooooo normal about the god of war series. so incredibly normal i liked it a normal amount and would be so chill talking about it. don’t worry about the sign
#god of war#i’m so so so so so normal about it it’s so whatever it’s so haha you know#something something when it comes to yourself you’ll let yourself drown before you change. you’ll die before you change who you’ve become#to survive this long#up to and until it affects the ones you’ve come to love in this life you’ve made for yourself and you suddenly have no choice but to change#it’s fine it’s ok it’s chill. everyone does this.#it’s becoming a parent and loving your child so much you HAVE to change. you HAVE to be better#we MUST be better. than they were.#who’s they. our parents. the gods that come before us. yes.#i’m screaming i’m crying i’m wasting away im disintegrating. there’s no coming back there no return#you are on your knees. you are gripping your son’s shoulders like they’re the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth.#you are struggling with who you are and who you want to become. you are promising to be better.#i’m so normal about parent(al figures) taking responsibility for their actions and choosing to do better#i’m not high enough to really express what’s going on here. can you feel it? can you fucking feel it?#this series has destroyed me.#dad of boy. dad(s) of boy. i will never be the same (affectionate)#can’t remember the last time i finished a series and went ‘oh well i’ve GOT to play it again Now That I Know’#AND I HAVENT EVEN TALKED ABOUT THE BROTHER HULDRA!!!!!!!!!#sindri’s face. has not left my memory#i’m dying scoob#gow#gowr
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i really don’t think it’s asking too much of my roommate to supply some toilet paper every now and then after using half a roll in less than 24 hours when my other roommate and I are the ones who have been buying it the whole time we’ve lived together
#roomie vent#part of me wants to tell my other roommate not to buy any for a little bit and encourage her to pick up some slack#which may sound extreme but i’m kind of at a loss because neither of us can afford to keep up with her waste habits#like i know times are tough but she’s not pitching in at all despite using so many of our toiletries with no restraint#it’s crazy to go through a whole roll in less than 36 hours#and it’s not just that. she doesn’t help with anything#she throws away so much trash that the bag fills up within a couple days and yet she never takes it out. she just lets it fill to the brim#until either i or the other roommate get tired of it and do it for her#and there is a long list of other pet peeves that i won’t mention here because im trying not to dwell on every little thing but damn#she really drives me crazy!
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First Fukase Friday of 2024! This one took 5hrs lol I wanna to be so extra (─‿─)
#vocaloid#art#fanart#vocaart#fukase#procreate#fukase friday#FIVE HOURS OF MY LIFE#But actually I was working on it for a week on then off so the total time was 5 hours and 11 minutes of insanity#I love creating new outfits so much like designing clothes is sm fun#I was trying to make it steampunk but then it started looking harajuku now I have no idea what it is lol#I feel bad that I had nothing for his birthday but I’m always late for VocalSynth birthdays anyway sooooi#ALSO I SAW THAT SOMEONE SAID MY ART INSPIRES THEM AND OMG I’VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPH#I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH I MISSED YOUUUUUUUU#I tried to make this extra extra detailed which is why it took so long#usually I finished artworks in like an hour hour and a half#but I wanted this one to be ✨special✨#ALSO can I just say January was like the hardest month of my life? it was so mentally draining and exhausting#I started spending more time with my siblings and now I can’t get away from them lol I love them with my whole soul#no like fr they keep me going and I’ve never been happier#maybe isolating yourself when you’re sad ISNT a good idea and you SHOULD socialize?#I’m big dumb okay#anyway happy Fukase Friday and belated birthday to my special boy#ALSO I REALIZED THAT I’VE NEVER DRAWN HIM WITH HIS MARK???? WHY????
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Thinks about how the Straw Hats were separated for 2 whole ass years and how much they must have missed each other and explodes
#One Piece#Straw Hat Pirates#Listen to me. 2 years is a LONG fucking time#I can’t even imagine how much they wanted to see each other again#Especially the rest of the crew wanting to see Luffy#Bc they wanted to go to him and see him right away after hearing about Ace!!#AND THEN THEY HAD TO WAIT AN ENTIRE TWO YEARS TO GO SEE HIM#SCREAMS INTO A PILLOW#I’m also thinking about everyone’s close friends within the crew and how much they miss that companionship#Like Usopp and Nami. Franky and Usopp. Zoro and Chopper. UGHHHHH.#When Usopp and Nami met again I almost CRIED NAMI WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM#When the found family comes back together after a long period of time....that GETS me bro#Shima speaks
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You said that if you dated Peter or Wade it would make you miserable. Which– Okay fair, Wade does have a history of purposely hurting the people he loves.
But what about Peter? Why do you think dating him would make you miserable?
because I’ll always know I had the option to climb a 6’8 cyborg and I passed that up for a sweaty little twunk that I perpetually have to remind to bathe (sorry peter)
#I don’t know. I don’t think peter is good boyfriend material. I think his insecurities would get exhausting.#Wade has bottomless patience. me… I don’t know. I don’t think I could. I’ve got my own stuff going on. I don’t want a Project.#peter is definitely a project. and he needs someone with shed loads of patience and perseverance.#me I just. I wanna have a good time. so. come to me my big beautiful time traveller. whisk me away.#take me to the beach. you can disappear after I don’t mind I’m not needy. just spend a beautiful romantic week with me.#sci speaks#I don’t really know what kind of person I’m compatible with really actually.#all my relationships have been. pretty short.#and I don’t think it’s any fault of my own really. and I don’t feel any loss over them at all. like at all. I wish I did. but I don’t.#a sci has so very thankfully never felt heartbreak.#but it makes me kind of question what kind of person I am when it comes to this sort of thing.#because I really don’t know.#I don’t know if I want commitment. I don’t even know if I want sex these days.#I … weirdly… am so devoid of yearning these days. like I feel content right now on my own. I don’t even feel lonely.#I used to yearn but I think I’ve moved past it. and I kind of just want to have a good time.#and that doesn’t even . involve a relationship or anything anymore. like I don’t think I want one actually. it feels like I’m Over it.#it’s kind of great because I’ve never felt so calm in a long time. all because I decided that I don’t. actually Need anything.#I don’t need anything more than what I have. and that’s brought me rest after So Long being restless.#but if a massive time traveller came and whisked me away on sexy adventures how could I say no
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”we need more morally ambiguous characters!”
you guys can’t even handle gon freeccs
#sorry. went on youtube again.#people have got to stop calling him a psychopath#first of all I’m taking that term away from people. stop using it like that.#second of all. he isn’t one.#he’s not even that morally ambiguous I’m ???????#are you looking at his whole character and the morals of the world he lives in or are you just looking#at his lowest moment when he was like. clearly traumatized?#sorry. complaining again. it’s just baffling how he can be so wildly misinterpreted#when the narrator literally spells out what’s going on a lot of the time#‘damn gon got so mad here! he’s full of hate and rage!’#‘yeah he is. and you get that a large part of it is that he’s mad at himself right? that he hates himself. right?’#‘he just wants revenge against pitou’#:/#storyrambles#‘gon doesn’t care if people die so long as it’s not his friends’ oh my god yes he does.#where are you even getting that from#‘he’s incomprehensible and that’s what makes him terrifying’ no. no he makes perfect sense. he’s scary because he’s innocent.#sigh. sorry again. May delete after. I don’t actually like complaining#random thoughts
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That's me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, losing my religion
#bo katan kryze#the armorer#the mandalorian#nitearmor#bo katan x the armorer#IF SHES YOUR GIRL WHY IS SHE MY THEMATIC PARALLEL#star wars#sw#i rewatched the ep of tbobf that the top cap is from#I forgot quite how bad the armorer was going through it too#at pretty much the same time? same span of time?#girl how long were you kneeling on the edge of that pier staring into space???#I could go on forever at the parallel depressive episodes losing thier respective faith for a hot minute and being dramatic as fuck#but instead I’ll shut up#also listen to BELLSAINT’s cover of losing my religion if you’re looking for a good cover done by a woman#truly a cornerstone of my gay little covers playlist#someone take my devices away from me I’m frothing at the mouth
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My rambling is always cut off by the tag limits 😔
#you know what I’m saying it here since the tags cut me off#the pink brand shirt was cute actually#it was the sweatband that made it bad#and the tucking in of the shirt#if that wasn’t included it’s a cute look that I see people wear all the time plz I’m begging#Leo isn’t bad at this he just goes too far 😭#and also#I love how Mikey actually has a similar eye for this as Donnie#their disguise hoodies are even identical#which makes sense as they are the more hands on artistic people in the fam just in different ways#alternatively Donnie GAVE Mikey the hoodie which is just as good if not better#but yeah as i was writing prev post I started thinking about the popular ideas of Leo’s style and such and was like man#people always go one or the other for him#plz he’s not a frat boy he really really isn’t 😭#idk it just kinda bothers me when people wave away the fact that his face man status isn’t just pushed by himself but by others too?#*incoherent muttering*#I could write an essay on this but I feel like that would be too long winded even for me kdkdkd
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I’m obsessed
#avatar band#avatar metal band#I’m going to run away and join their circus please take me with you#I’m so fucking obsessed with this band btw. I just heard them for the first time at this concert#they opened for Ice Nine Kills and ohhhh my god. the stage presence they had was amazing#the make up and the vibes!! and the guitarists all head banged their long hair together in unison 🥵#also the matching outfits!!! ahhhh!!! I have a new brain worm#I sorry for everyone I know irl that will have to put up with me blasting this music for the next foreseeable future#and his voice. bruh his voice does things to me. his music is so good.#the Eagle has landed#good song#Hail the apocalypse. another good song#bloody angel. another really fucking killer song#ok I’ll stop now cause I can just go on and on#I literally just heard them for the first time less than 48 hours ago. and I’m so so so so obsessed I can’t stop#they were so much fun to watch live!!!#ok I’ll shut up now
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If anyone remembers all the dental work I needed done uhhhhhhh three years ago and never went back and ran away forever…I’m finally going back to a dentist on Thursday to restart the process and face my deep and utter abiding terror. And I also scheduled my COVID and flu vaccines for a couple hours later. And my psych appointment to restart meds.
I figured get it all done in one day, have my miserable immune reaction on Friday that I seem to always get with Moderna COVID shots, and then flee directly into the weekend and never be a person again except when I’m on and off crying. It’s going to be so kind to future me to get these things done and I can do it no matter how much I feel like I am constantly about to Actually Physically Die.
#you can see why I’m restarting meds#my brain is constantly convincing me that my teeth are about to actually finish rotting out of my mouth and I probably have an abscess#already that is going to give me a jaw or heart infection#which is VERY unlikely#and that my dog is deeply sick and I should rehome her and give her to someone who’ll take proper care of her and isn’t me#yadda yadda#it’s been fucking miserable#the only good part is 1) I’m going to get the worst part over with (starting the process) and#2) even if I completely flee and refuse to go back I’ll have one dental cleaning at least helping with plaque buildup and stuff#this is so fucking EMBARRASSING it’s all so EMBARASSING#it shouldn’t be this hard for me and I know it’s irrational#I’m just so scared because it’s so triggering for me for NO REASON and#I KNOW that this time when we get to the multiple fillings and at least one root canal and also my impacted wisdom teeth that it’ll be#different and I won’t go un-numb or if I do again they’ll have better checks in place for when I panic lie to their faces#but it doesn’t help#and I’m so sure they’re gonna tell me I need three or more root canals because I’ve waited way way too long#and I STILL can’t consistently keep up with brushing and flossing#which is the most embarassing and shameful thing in the world and I KNOW#but I’m scared shitless of all of it and it’s all a sensory nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway I’m not going to be okay later this week and I’m not particularly okay now#so if I’m not around online much#that’s why#but I’m happy news Aoife and I are having some lovely walks this week and she’s very cute and snuggly and we played tug a lot of times yest#*yesterday and she also stayed sniffing a bush while a bike went past two feet away#instead of getting startled and needing to hop or bark at it and then calm down#I’m so proud of her#and I wouldn’t be able to do this at all without my very kind partner who spearheaded scheduling the dentist (and researching places)#after my jaw pain nervous breakdown last week#health#personal
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pov a huge twewy/ntwewy nerd visits shibuya part 2
ramen town baby!!! yeah i was not about to climb that whole hill even though it really wasn’t that steep. dogenzaka beloved
you only visit this place once in the main game but there are so so many things i could say about it. man the neku-josh-sho week 2 dynamic was the wildest and funniest thing in the world
spain hill (from above) (idk uhh what’s iconic about here?) (i didn’t trip on any haunted step that much i know)
the vibes of this place… not accessible until so late in the game (in both games) but so good both times. like the story beats that happened here were always excellent. i always loved being at shibuya stream in ntwewy it was beyond surreal stepping out of the station and just actually being here irl
le susukichi boss fight (and some more cool puzzles)
shibuya hikarie! not much to say here but the food you find here in ntwewy looked so good man i need to actually eat more while here
there are a few more actually oops! part 3 momentarily
#peach rambles#twewy#the world ends with you#neo the world ends with you#ntwewy#neo twewy#subaseka tag#mine: twewy#yeah sorry og twewy but ntwewy was a much stronger representation of what this town looks like#the twewy map was so confusing honestly#the 3D really helps in this case#only things i still could not instinctually find were o-east and udagawa#i didn’t find cat street but i think i would’ve if i had kept going i just didn’t feel like it#i mean we made it to tokyu plaza and takeshita street the other day but i wasn’t paying attention to the route we were taking#maybe we took part of cat street idk#i’m just thinking about the first time ya visit cat street in twewy and that fake mission lol#y’know it didn’t feel like it took me that long to get across all the corners of town#sure it was far away but like#y’know if you were walking and dealing with huge crowds and also trying not to be rude yeah it would take you wayyy more than fifteen min#but like neku was a ghost he didn’t have to worry about other people or his own physical stamina right#i feel like fifteen minutes was a doable challenge maybe?#if he’s running and has no physical drawbacks and also knows where he’s going already
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