#i’d love to be a dwarf. good shit right there

[badgerboodle]

just some silly sona doodles

[hoshigray]

love love LOVEE your toji/sukuna fics, mean big guys have me in a chokehold, but even more so if there’s aftercare right after destroying u , I’d like to see how you write that! No pressure, just a suggestion lol

𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: no but you're so valid, idk why i keep forgetting about after care, ughhh!! ty for loving my tojikuna stuff <3

⊹ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: true form! Sukuna + Toji x fem/afab! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - size difference - monster-fucking (kuna got 2 dicks) - double penetration; anal and vaginal - cowgirl dp position - breast fondling + nipple play + sucking - biting/nibbling - dacryphillia - unprotected sex - aftercare; taking a warm bath together + tending wounds - pet names (baby, [little] dove, pet, princess, sweet thing) - tojikuna being snarky partners; good luck, lmao - mention of blood, drool/spit and tears.

⊹ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.9k

“Ahaaahhn! T-Tojii, t-too fast, going too fas—Shhaaa!!”

“Heh, y’re complainin’, but y’re the one squeezin’ my dick like crazy.”

“Hmph, right, like some dirty whore…Shit, ass’s so tight…”

You were the partner of both Tōji Fushiguro and Sukuna Ryōmen—a fact that many would be astonished to know and for you to go dizzy thinking about.

How does one lure in the deadly, cursed being proclaimed the King of Curses and a cold-blooded assassin dubbed the Sorcerer Killer? You couldn’t even think of a quick answer to such a question. What you do know is that being a spouse of the terrifying two in this polyamorous relationship was the definition of intense. And that would go for tonight as well.

Being bent and forced to be taken advantage of by your two lovers was nothing out of the ordinary. If anything, it’s almost a daily occurrence when either of them comes and pulls you aside to appease themselves. Nonetheless, what else was a little cute wife like you supposed to do: sit there and look pretty? Not tonight, at least.

You were all confined in your shared quarters, all three bodies atop the futons pulled to the tatami flooring—three bodies stripped from their discarded attire, now nude and meshed together in hot and wanton passion.

Toji was beneath you, yet that didn’t diminish his control over you. You may be straddling him and moving your hips to take in his erect cock into your aching cunt. However, his hands are stationed firmly on your waist, influential to your pace as he bucks into your wetness stuffed on excessive come. The fast ruts make it grueling to find the rhythm—but that’s what the dark-haired man wants, to see you all desperate and wailing from up above. “How ya feelin’, sweet thing?” 

As if you had any room to speak, so winded that wails were the only words you could say. 

“Oi, pet, answer when you’re being talked to.”

And the voice behind you doesn’t make this scene any better.

From your backside, Sukuna’s massive frame hovered over you and Toji’s, his gigantic frame easily dwarfing you both. His lower arms hold you down by the calves, and his upper left keeps him upright from easily squishing his partners. And the upper right crawls up to your throat, suffocating your airways lightly with just his thumb and forefinger.

As the other has you from below, the gigantic cursed man deals with you from above. His lower member is plunged into your rear hole, stretching you to the point of tears with his hefty girth while the other rubs on the crevice of your ass with every push of his hips. The hands on your legs come up to your waist, brushing Toji’s, who moves his to your chest.

His guttural purrs send shivers up to your ears, and the tongue of his stomach probes you with a lick on your sweaty back. “We need words, or else you’ll be crushed without knowing, little dove.”

Because that is what you were: their little wife tending to them as a spouse would. 

You swallow spit before the grip on your throat gets any tighter. “I–I…Feel sho goood…!” You twitch when the behemoth licks and nibbles on your ear so dangerously as if he’s tempted to eat you—he just might be. “—Mmmhh! S-Shoo fuull..”

Toji notices and snickers, “Yeah, baby?” His hands on your breasts are rough, making you whimper. “Doin’ good so far,” he tweezes a nipple, earning a sharp yelp to leave your puffy lips. “Hehm, so adorable, mama…” you cry even more when he pops the other nipple into his mouth; the feel of his tongue on your bud had you hot. 

“—Hnnm!! Fucking hell, this ass…!” Sukuna’s groans are felt, the vibrations rattling your bones. “Keep grippin’ me like that, princess..” He adds more weight and has you howling like no tomorrow. The nails of his fingers leave dents that you’re sure to see later on—just more to add onto the collection harboring all over your skin – bites and marks galore. 

Your eyebrows screw together, drool escaping your agape lips. The laps around your nipple become feverish along with Toji’s thrusts, and Sukuna pistoning his cock so harshly; it makes you wobble, yet you maintain your balance for the older man beneath you to keep sucking and playing with your chest. 

“—Taahh, uhhgg, sh-shiiit,” your hands grip the sheets as your eyes roll to the top–a sign that you were to fall into your release in mere seconds from the constant rubs of your sensitive spots.

Clamping onto their shafts, you shriek during the impending climax, the walls of your holes puckering and contracting around the limbs that graze your sensitive nerves. You finally give in and fumble atop Toji, luckily catching your expected reaction with a smirk. “Fuck, feel so good and tight,” he kisses your cheek and chortles when your arms sling around his neck. “Stay still, baby; let us finish here.”

The two men still undulate their hips, their dicks ravaging your insides even when you’re stuck in your crescendo. You nearly choke on your spit, wailing as you’re forced to submit to their frantic bucks, and the sounds of them moaning and groaning only fuel your ears to clench them even tighter. It has both men hiss and tighten their hold on you, Toji burrowing his face to bite your shoulder while Sukuna’s fangs dig into the other. And you can tell blood was drawn as the giant licks the inflicted marking.

At your scream, they simultaneously bust their loads into your trembling frame, stuffing you with more of their essence in your cunt and asshole. And Sukuna’s upper cock dispels its semen out to paint your back. The sensation of their lengths pulsating inside you has you quiver, hiccupping when they sneak in short yet fierce pounds into your sore holes until their sweaty frames succumb to tranquility. Then, they remove their limbs with a blissful groan to your sob, come sliding and dripping down to your thighs. 

Finally, you sigh into Toji’s chest as he kisses your forehead and kneads your ass lovingly. I can finally rest now…

However, you squeak when your body is pulled upward so quickly, and you’re now being held by Sukuna, who straightens up and stands up. He scoffs, “Relax, dove.” The hand under your legs squeezes the flesh of your thigh. 

Leaving Toji to the futon, the cursed ancient man thunderously strides out to the room two rooms down from the shared room. He slides the shoji door open after the changing room, and you’re instantly met with a wave of humid air from the bathing area. Ripples from the humongous stone bath become more evident as Sukuna closes in, and the water climbs when he gets inside with his massive volume.

He sits, the water sitting above the mouth of his abdomen. He has you sitting on his lap, yet his lower arms still hold you close to his chest. With the upper left, he brings the wooden bucket the servants left behind to scoop with water and pours it gently above your head. 

Your hands wipe the water from your face, but a washcloth and a colossal hand wipe it down for you. “Y-You know, I can clean myself,” you inquire with a scrunched expression as Sukuna wipes your cheeks a little too rough. 

“With your shaky legs, I’d be amazed if you’d even make three steps out of the room.” You pout at his tease, and it only has him want to poke fun at you more. “Like a baby deer trying to walk.”

You snatch the washcloth with a heated face. “Quit it!” Humiliated, you sigh and raise your left arm to dap on the markings decorated on your skin. However, he takes it away from you, his lower left gently grabbing your arm for the lower right to compress the damp cloth on your sore markings. 

“Let me.” He wasn’t asking, leaving you no space to interject his company. He pulls an ointment from the other wooden basket into the washcloth; the lavender scent pleases your nostrils while the minty sensation cleanses your skin. “Sit back,” he orders you, and you allow your back to rest on his torso, watching the man tend to the wounds he and his partner inflicted on you. It almost puts you to sleep, sighing pleasingly and relaxing to the monster’s touch. 

Speaking of, “Wow, so ya leave me at the room to clean up after you two, huh?” Toji enters the bathing space, joining you and Sukuna in the warm water. “What am I, y’r maid?”

“You seem to have walked here on your own just fine.” Sukuna bends to place a kiss on top of your head while the raven-haired other approaches closer. “You have no room to complain, Fushiguro.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” you observe Toji come to you between Sukuna’s legs. “Hey, mama, feel better?” You nod to him meekly while he cups your cheeks with one hand. He then brings you to a soft kiss, mewling to his lips while his wet thumb brushes your cheek. “Mmm, so cute…Stand up fr’ me.”

He takes the wet cloth from Sukuna’s grasp while you slowly rise. He helps you turn around to have your back to him, your hands clinging onto Sukuna’s thighs while the giant gives the human male a cream to place on the rag. Toji then rubs circles on the red crescents of your waist–dents marked from Sukuna’s nails–and you jerk and hiss at the contact. 

“I know, sweetie, I know,” he coaxes you with whispers to the ear and a kiss on your shoulder. “Blame ‘Kuna for doin’ a number on ya.”

“Keh, I know you’re not talking,” the salmon-haired one sniggers as he grabs another dry cloth to wipe your collarbone. “I can count with three hands how many of these hickeys aren’t mine.” 

The other barks a laugh. “Now I know y’r ass is lyin’.” The two men humor themselves on the trauma they just put you and your tiny body through, and you can only shake your head at their insufferableness. Yet, at the very least, they’re taking their roles as your lovers to take care of your body. Not so bad, isn’t it?

Especially when the bathing is over, and you’re all clean from the event that transpired an hour ago, sleep stops evading you, and you return to the shared room ready for slumber. To end the night, the candles are blown out, you’re adorning your yukata robe for your soft skin, and Toji and Sukuna wait for you on the futon to conclude this session. 

Toji has you to his right, arm around your figure to keep you close to his warmth. This gives you the view of his easeful sleeping face; the moonlight from the opened shoji window panels makes it easy to trace his handsome features and the deft scar on his lips. To his left was Sukuna, his tremendous size unavoidable, and his strength still evident as his upper arm cages you and the other older man in proximity. The pink-haired beast purrs at the rub of Toji’s hand on his nape and hair, and you giggle at the display—like a giant cat.

Seeing the Sorcerer Killer and the King of Curses act so leisurely around someone is inconceivable; not many live to see such a picture when met with their brute force and killing instincts. And yet, you suppose that makes you more valuable than anyone, their sole and precious partner.

And as you bury your face and let the blanket of sleep take over, you rest for yet another night, knowing you’re in the best care you could ask for.

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 – reblogs and comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ☆ header edit done by me + dividers by @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more.

[sexlapis]

yn and toji filming a buzzfeed puppies interview together then getting a question about if they would adopt a dog together 🎀🎀🎀

TOJI FUSHIGURO & Y/N + PUPPIES

⤷ cw: fluff, short fic, cute puppies, toji & yn haven’t exactly gone public but everyone basically knows they’re together 💀

a/n: needed to make this a whole thing bc i love this idea sm 🤭

INTRO

“oh my god!” you squeal as the crew members release six fluffy, tiny golden retriever puppies to where you and toji sit. the puppies immediately run over to both of you, and begin licking all over you knees and hands.

“hey, little guy..” toji coos and gently lifts the dog in his hands, practically dwarfing the small animal in the size of them. “such a little squirt, huh?”

you on the other hand, now have three bundles of pale yellow fluff bundled up in your arms, cradling them like they’re your children. “oh my god, oh my god. they’re all coming home with me, i’ll make it happen somehow.”

IF YOU WERE AN ANIMAL, WHAT ANIMAL WOULD YOU BE?

“easy.” toji begins, smirking. “i’d be a wolf. i-”

in the midst of rubbing the belly of one of the puppies, you snort harshly at his answer, pulling you lips together.

toji drops the smirk and looks at you while he rocks two puppies in crook of his big arms. “what’s funny?”

“toji…you? a wolf? i don’t think so..”

toji scoffs. “what’d you think i’d be then?”

“hmm.. i think.. i think you’d be a chipmunk.”

“chipmunk?!” toji exclaims. “no way!”

you hold one of the puppies up to your face, speaking in a baby voice. “toji would be a chipmunk, wouldn’t he? yes he would! yes he would!”

“i would- you know what you would be?” he starts and you know he’s probably going to say something crazy. “you’d be a pterodactyl.”

“a what!” you cackle, dropping your head onto the floor and laying on your stomach. some of the puppies start climbing on your back. “what the hell would i be a dinosaur?”

he puts one of the puppies on the ground and it rests on his shoe. “pterodactyls ain’t dinosaur actually-”

“ok, toji the palaeontologist, why the hell would be a pterodactyl?”

toji shrug, nuzzling the puppy in his arm. “y’know.. they’re loud..and they got big mouths.”

you gasp. “that is-” you puff your cheeks and start throwing the squeaky toys at him aggressively.

“hey! stop!”

IF YOU COULD ACT WITH ANY ACTOR, WHO WOULD IT BE?

“oh, definitely mikasa ackerman.” you answer. “she’s so talented and sweet.” you bounce the puppy in your arms, one who seems to especially love you and toji. “she’s so sweet! yes she is!”

“yeah i’ve heard good things about her..” toji said. “���think my choice would be..nanami kento. he’s done good work..seems respectable.”

“wow, really? you’d both hate each other.”

“_____, why are you so negative?” toji asks, faking seriousness. “we would get along. don’t be jealous.”

“jealous?!”

“yeah, jealous,” toji picks up the smallest puppy and it to his chest, stroking its head, “ain’t that right? she’s jealous, right?” he shakes his head at you while shaking the head of the puppy with his hand. “she’s so- oh, that one’s taking a shit on the floor.”

you turn and there it was, a tiny puppy, in toji’s words, taking a shit.

“ew.. i forgot they just did that…”

when the puppy finishes it’s…business, the other puppies run over and start sniffing it.

“oh fuck, they’re about to eat his fucking shit.” toji wheezes, shoulders bouncing m. “their faces just make you forget how fucking disgusting they are..”

“eugh, they’re so nastyy.” you cringe at them, cooing at the puppy in your lap. “but you’re not like they are you?”

WOULD YOU ADOPT A PUPPY TOGETHER?

“yes! yes we would!” you rest the female puppy in your arms. “wouldn’t we, toji?”

toji looks at you, admiring how adorable you look with the adorable, little puppy in your arms. he looks back to the puppies in his arms and lap. “‘couldn’t hurt..”

you shout happily. “toji, we’re taking this one home.” you lift the puppy in your hands to the sky like she’s simba. you look off camera. “can we take this one home? please?”

at the end of the video, you’re hugging toji along with the other puppies. “you’re all coming home with me!”

toji looks to the camera for help

(and that’s how you both end up with 6 golden retriever puppies for pets :))

[holylulusworld]

Unworthy (2)

Summary: Thor doesn’t think you‘re a good friend to his brother.

Pairing: AU!Thor Odinson x fem!Reader, AU!Loki Laufeyson x fem!Reader (platonic/best friends)

Warnings: past addiction, mentions of drug abuse/addiction (Loki), angst, classism, Thor being an ass, BBF trope, mentions of spiked drinks

Catch up here: Unworthy (1)

Unworthy masterlist

“Stop her then, son. If she told you the truth, we should find out more about what happened,” Odin feels like he just threw his daughter out of his house. “I shouldn’t have listened to you. Why did I not double-check your information.”

“Husband, not now,” Frigga places her hand on Odin’s shoulder. “Do not make another mistake. Maybe she is innocent, but we need to investigate further first. Thor, follow her. She’s the best source of information.”

“Right,” Thor huffs but turns to follow you. “I’m not sure she told me the truth. Some people have the ability to sell you any lie.”

Thor walks away to follow you. He easily catches up on you with his long legs and determined steps. “Wait—” He calls your name. It’s more an order than a request.

You move toward the exit, ignoring Thor walks next to you. “I said wait.”

“What else do you want to accuse me of?” You stop for a moment to glare up at Thor. “Maybe I sold drugs to Loki, huh? Maybe I was the one getting him addicted. Just leave me alone, Odinson.”

“If the guy spiked your drink there should be a police report…right?” He cocks a brow. Thor is not as good as his father at reading people, but he can see the fear in your eyes when the memories of that night come back.

“My friend called the cops after bringing me to the hospital. I gave a statement, and they promised me that he wouldn’t get away with what he did to me. I believed them,” you laugh bitterly.

“What happened?” He steps closer to tower over you. Thor is intimidating, with his sheer size and figure dwarfing you, but you won’t cower in front of him.

“What always happens,” you shrug and try to balance the box in your hands at the same time. “He came from a good family with old money. My words against his. I was the outsider allowed to walk their holy halls because of a scholarship.”

“That’s awful,” Thor sucks in a breath. If what you’re telling him is true, he understands that you always despised him, the golden son having it all. He never had to work for anything.

“It didn’t matter that my friend, the doctor, and the nurse gave a statement too. They tried to pressure me into taking my statement back, but I refused,” you sniff, and look away. “I didn’t matter, though. He got away with it because his parents knew the right people. Suddenly my test results were gone, and the guests at the party didn’t remember shit. I was lucky to not lose my scholarship. If we are done here, I’d love to leave this shitty place.”

Thor doesn’t stop you when you walk away from him. He has a lot of information to stomach. Thor hopes you’re just a good liar, and he was right about you. But he has a hunch that every word you said was true.

“That’s all, huh?” Hela looks up from her laptop to glare at Thor. He thumbs through the papers and pictures on Hela’s desk. “You didn’t find more?” He asks.

“Stop nagging,” she snaps at him. “You should thank me instead of moping. I got the statement from her friend and the doctor. The nurse withdrew her statement right after she bought a brand-new car.”

“Sounds fishy,” Hogun grumbles. It wasn’t in his plans to sneak around your apartment and follow you around town. “I don’t think the sweet girl is a criminal mastermind. All she did was to buy groceries and look for a new job.”

“Hey, it’s still my turn,” Hela glares at Hogun. “We wanted to talk about her past before we get to the present and future. A shame I didn’t get the chance to interrogate her.” She smirks at her brother. “I bet the sweet girl would’ve been putty in my hands.”

Thor curls his upper lip. “What did you find out?”

Hela leans back in her chair and crosses one leg over the other. She takes her time to inform her brother.

“I found more questions than answers. But I can tell you that the guy spiking Y/N’s drink is a piece of shit. Over the years his parents tried to cover all the shit he pulled. Luckily, they did not succeed. He crossed one too many lines and they turned their back on him.”

“Interesting,” Thor grabs one of the pictures taken at the hospital. You look scared and his heart hurts seeing the tears run down your cheeks. “Anything else?”

“No well done from you?” She huffs. “Always the same with you and father.” Hela snaps at her brother. “I tried to talk to his parents, but they refused to talk about the incident with Y/N. If you ask me, their son did exactly what Y/N said.”

“Says who…?” Thor questions. He’s still not convinced that you told him the truth and that you are innocent. If so, he’d be the worst person ever for ruining your career and friendship with his brother.

“How is he? Where is he?” You pant heavily as you try to find Loki. “Duke, where is he?” You ask Loki’s sponsor. “Duke!”

“He’s in a bad condition,” Duke’s features soften at your worried look. You’re out of your mind because Loki’s AA sponsor called you in the middle of the night. What if Loki is relapsed or is injured?

“Did he have a relapse?” You clasp your hands together to silently pray Loki didn’t do anything stupid because of what happened. “Duke?”

“No,” Duke shakes his head. “He needs you. Loki asked for you the whole time. I didn’t want to call you, but he wouldn’t stop. He’s vulnerable, Y/N.”

“I need to see him.”

“Loki’s inside my office,” Duke gently pats your shoulder. “Take all your time, Y/N. If you need a ride home, I’ll drive you.”

“Loki?” You walk inside the office, heart lurching in your chest. Loki sits on the ground. His long legs stretched out, and his head hanging. “Darling?”

“Y/N,” he murmurs but doesn’t look at you. Loki believed you gave up on him. Thor, his father, and Frigga didn’t tell him the whole truth. When one of your co-workers told him that you got fired and showed him the pictures Loki knew, Thor did this to you to get you out of his life.

“Hey, beautiful,” you sit down next to Loki and wrap one arm around his shoulders. “How’s my pretty boy tonight?”

“Not good,” he leans his head against your shoulder and sighs. “I almost fucked up again, Y/N. I was bad tonight. I…I…” he sniffles and wrings his hands. “I almost bought the poison.”

“Did you buy it?”

“No.”

“Good. See, you’re stronger than you thought,” you peck his hair. “I knew you could do it, Loki.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about your job and my brother?” He murmurs. “I could’ve helped you.”

“Your brother is an asshole, you know that” you try to cheer Loki up while your world still lies in ruins. “He tried to find something to hold against me and succeed. It’s not the end of the world to lose a job, darling. I’ll find something soon.”

“Hmmm…” Loki thoughtfully hums. “Maybe I can lend you some money.”

“I got spared money, Loki. I’m not your friend because of your money, darling.”

“You are my friend because of my good looks, right?” Relieved that you are not angry at him for the things his family did, Loki sighs.

“I’m your friend because I love you, darling,” you pat his thigh. For a moment you are both silent. “So, you came here for a meeting?”

“Three,” he says. “I’m sorry Duke had to call you.”

“I told you a long time ago that you can always call me, Loki. Day or night,” you softly say. “Did you eat today, darling?”

His growling stomach answers your question. “Not much,” Loki admits. “I wasn’t in the mood for food.”

“That was the most awful rhyme I ever heard,” you laugh. “Come on, darling. I’ll take you home and we can eat my leftovers.”

“You want to take me home?” He purrs. “You can’t wait to get your hands on me, huh? I bet you waited for me to call.”

“You’re a little bitch, Loki Laufeyson.”

“I love you too, Y/N…”

You watch Loki’s chest rise and fall. Still worried about your friend you didn’t leave his side.

Finally at peace after hours of suffering and self-hatred, he sleeps peacefully on your bed.

He greedily stuffed your leftovers into his mouth and even burped because you wanted him to eat dessert too.   

You talked for half the night, assuring him that his father and brother can do whatever they want to. You will stand by Loki’s side. Whether they like it or not.

“If you don’t stop yelling at me I’ll hang up,” you snarl into the phone. “I only called to tell you that Loki is safe and didn’t have a relapse. He’s asleep and I’ll drive him home after he had breakfast.”

Thor yells into the phone. He throws profanities at you while his sister watches him with amusement. She chuckles and listens to your explanation. “Thor, calm down. She took good care of him.”

“You don’t have a say in this,” Thor grunts. “She gets fired and then…” He growls and grunts while you listen to his rant.

“Are you done?” You ask. “I’m going to hang up now. I don’t want to wake Loki. He needs his sleep after everything he’s gone through last night. If you need to know more, ask his sponsor who called me, knowing I’ll be the one getting Loki out of the hole he fell into once again.”

You hang up, already regretting that you called Loki’s family. All you wanted to do was make sure they won't worry all night because he didn’t come home.

You harrumph and walk back inside your living room to switch through the channels. Sleep is out of the question after the call. Thor once again made you furious, and you hate the feeling.

Next time he dares to show his face, you’ll knee his balls and give him a piece of your mind…

Part 3

Tags in reblog.

[onestevetogo]

Lord of the Abridged: Tower Power

Frodo - I miss Gandalf.

Sam - I am a packmule.

Gollum - I have somehow hunted the ring better than nine wraith assassins.

Frodo - I hate this ring.

Gollum - Gimme the ring!

Frodo - I’ll give you the Sting.

Gollum - Oh no.

Frodo - Gollum, lead us to Mordor.

Gollum - That’s a terrible idea.

Sam - That’s a terrible idea.

Frodo - This is a great idea.

Orcs - We’re taking the hobbits to Isengard!

Pippin - I want some nice crispy bacon.

Merry - I am sick.

Orcs - Here’s a homemade family recipe.

Merry - yucky.

Oruk - You’re yucky :(

Oruk - wait…

Oruk - ManFlesh!

Aragorn - They noticed my manflesh.

Gimli - This distance is physically twice for me as it is for everyone else. #DurinsFolkStruggles

Legolas - They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard!

Saruman - Nothing could possibly go wrong with the arrangement I have with my new best friend Sauron.

Sauron - I don’t know who that weird goth dude is but keep him a good ten feet from me.

Orcs - We demand rest!

Oruk - Damn unions.

Orcs - We demand good food!

Oruk - Let them eat cake.

Dave - I want to take a bite of a hobbit! A hobbite!

Oruk - Scum! *killing noises*

Dave - *getting killed noises*

Orcs - We demand Dave!

Oruk - You drive a hard bargain.

Merry - Crawly crawly.

Pippin - Sneaky sneaky.

Dave’s cousin also named Dave - I demand a hobbite!

Rohirrim - We’re a traveling play. Wanna see our act?

Orcs - *Dies*

Oruk - *Dies*

Hobbits - Cliffhanger!

Aragorn - We’ve been running all night.

Legolas - Man, I’d love to see a play.

Rohirrim - We’re a traveling play. Wanna see our act? All it needs is a dead dwarf.

Legolas - How dare you threaten the life of my best buddy in the whole wide world!

Aragorn - …

Rohirrim -…

The horses - …

Gimli -…

Aragorn - Have you seen some orcs? They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard.

Eomer - They’re dead. Dead as hell. If your kids were there, they’re dead too. We can’t tell the difference.

Aragorn - oh shit.

Legolas - oh shit.

Gimli - oh shit.

Witch king - *stubbed toe screeching*

Frodo - Oh no! It’s Mister Stabby!

Gollum - It’s cool. They suck at their jobs.

Witch king - *Screeches elsewhere*

Gollum - Don’t follow the lights.

Frodo - You’re not my mom.

Ghosts - Hey little halfling. Want some candy?

Frodo - I love candy!

Ghosts - Hahaha! It wasn’t candy at all!

Frodo - *Ghostly drowning noises*

Gollum - What did I just say?

Merry - Is Dave still chasing us?

Pippin - DAVE, ARE YOU STILL CHASING US?!?!

Merry - wtf, Pippin?

Dave - I’m still chasing you!

Treebeard - Gimme the hobbits.

Dave - *Roadkill noises*

Treebeard - I’m a tree with a beard! Guess my name!

Merry -…

Pippin - Dave?

Aragorn - Where’s the hobbits?

Gimli - I found a dead orc!

Aragorn - That’s not a hobbits!

Legolas - Ew don’t touch it.

Gandalf - I’m gonna scare the shit out of these three.

Gandalf - *Lightshow*

Aragorn - Holy shit!

Legolas - Holy shit!

Gimli - Holy shit!

Gandalf - Lmao. Let’s go to Rohan.

Theoden - mnmmnbnbmmmm.

Grima - He says he doesn’t like you.

Gandalf - Theoden? More like Theodumb.

Theodumb - bffbmmnm.

Grima - He says your shoes are raggedy and your staff looks like a pleasurable instrument.

Gandalf - wizardwhocantgetlaidsayswhat

Sarumon - What?

Gandalf - Lmao.

Saruman - PAIN!

Gandalf - PAIN!

Saruman - Egad!

Theoden - *Grasps his killing stick* I’m Theodone.

Grima - I’m Theodead.

Sarumon - If he wants pain, I’ll show him some pain.

Grima - How?

Sarumon - I’ve grown several thousand muscular, voracious hunks who will do anything I tell them.

Grima - Good for fighting?

Sarumon - …

Grima - For fighting, right?

Theoden - Let’s go to Helm’s Deep.

Aragorn - Yes, nothing could go wrong.

Gandalf - Deuces.

Gimli - I’ve had like five lines and zero agency in this movie so far.

Legolas - It’s hard being a princess. ✨✨

Aragorn - Hey you’re pretty good with that sword.

Eowyn - I will literally have your child right here in this hallway.

Legolas - :O

Gimli - :O

Sméagol - :O

Sarumon - :O

Morgoth - :O

Eru Illuvitar - :O

Tom Bombadil - :O

That one orc head on a spear - :O

Anyone with half a brain cell - :O

Aragorn - She seems nice.

Gollum - *Having a meltdown*

Gollum.exe has stopped working.

Gollum - Rebooting.

Sméagol - Sméagol.exe.

Sméagol - …

Sméagol - It’s wabbit season.

Orcs - We’re a traveling band! Wanna hear our latest single “Omnom”?

Rohan Soldiers - “Omnom”?

Wargs - Omnomnomnom!

Soldiers - *Fighting*

Eowyn - ManFlesh!

Aragorn - *To orc Uber* I will pay you to throw me off this cliff.

Orc taxi - A dollar’s a dollar!

Aragorn - *Flying king noises*

Sméagol - It’s fish season.

Gondorites - It’s little gremlin season.

Frodo - Hol up. He’s a little weird but he’s aight.

Faramir - I was going to kill you but didn’t. There’s no other information I can offer here that could improve future events.

Sméagol - *Dramatically* I’ve been betrayed!

Faramir - Tell me what I want to know.

Sméagol - Gollum.exe

Merry - Take the hobbits to Isengard!

Treebeard - No.

Merry - Aw man.

Treebeard - What’s this? Deforestation?! HRAGBLAGMIMGONNAKILLTHATLITTLESHIT!

Merry - Yay!

Treebeard - We all might die but that’s okay!

Merry - Y…yay?

Aragorn - *Dramatic Entrance*

Eowyn. - Take me right here.

Aragorn - Orcs.

Theoden - Orcs?!

Gimli - These are Uruk Hai!

Uruk - Uruk hi!

Theoden - So it begins.

It - *beginning*

Gimli - Two already!

Legolas - I’m on seventeen!

Gimli - That’s not fair fighting!

Legolas - :)

Gimli - Fighting, right?

5 days later:

Theoden - This is too much fighting!

Aragorn - Let’s fight some more.

Theoden - Sounds good bestie!

Gandalf - PAIN!

Eomer - PAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

Gandalf - Oh shit.

Orcs - Oh shit.

Treebeard - Orc mush! Mush orc!

Treesbeard - Reverse veganism!

Sarumon - Sauron pick me up I’m scared

Legolas - We’re alive!

Soldiers - We’re alive!

Eowyn - ManFlesh!

Aragorn - *hiding king noises*

Gandalf - That was close.

Frodo - Something just happened.

Faramir - Run little child thing. Be free.

Hobbits - *Scampering off*

Faramir - I feel like there’s something I forgot to do.

Later :

Gollum - I’m gonna murder these hobbits.

Credits

[yowyowyaoi]

*Obito sitting on top of Madara’s statue in the Valley of the End, thinking*

Deidara, from below: Here you are, hm! I’ve been looking all over for you! *climbs up to sit next to him*

Obito: Well, you found me. What’s wrong?

Deidara: Nothings wrong. Just wanted to spend some time with you … *cautiously leans against Obito* If that’s alright.

Obito: *puts his arm around Deidara and pulls him closer* It’s more than alright. You honor me with your presence. 

Deidara: *looks around* Not to be rude,but, maaaan your grandpa or uncle or whatever had one creepy face, hm. *points over at Hashirama’s statue* Not that the other guy looked much better.

Obito: *absently touches his scars* The same could be said about me, you know.

Deidara, scowling: If anyone dared talk shit like that about you, I’d throw a bomb into their face. And you better not start saying bad stuff about yourself or I’m punching you, hm.

Obito: *smiles and kisses the top of Deidara’s head* See, that’s what I love about you. You never allow me to just sit and feel sorry for myself.

Deidara: Of course not. Remember, you managed to pull ME, buddy. That’s such a massive accomplishment that it dwarfs anything that you might have to wallow over.

Obito: Mm, you’re really modest, aren’t you?

Deidara: Modest, and smart, and I can cook, and I’m skilled in the bedroom, hm. *teasing* Why haven’t you put a ring on my finger yet, eh?

Obito: You do realize that that’s not how Uchiha’s propose marriage, right?

Deidara: It’s not?

Obito: No, love. See, the correct course of action would be for me to remove my eye and give it to you, and in return you give me one of yours. That way each of us has a part of the other permanently embedded in them.

Deidara: That’s … both romantic, and a little scary, hm. Wait; if I had one of your eyes, does that mean I’d be able to use the sharingan?

Obito: I believe so? You would have to let me give you some training on how to wield it, though. But … wait. Does that mean that you’d want to marry me? Really?

Deidara: Of course I would! *takes Obito’s hand and squeezes it* I love you, you know. More than anything.

Obito, wiping tears from his eye with his free hand: D-Deidara …

Deidara: Plus if I have your sharingan and train it really good, I can finally defeat that fucker Itachi and that shitty little brother of his. And, with us being in-laws, they’d never even see an attack coming! *laughs maniacally*

Obito:

[gojoshooter]

hey pretty, I was wondering how jjk characters would handle naughty kids?? tell me bout it!

wOAh that sounds interesting 🤔 here you go anon ♡

Dealing with the Brats: JJK men

Featuring : Yuji Itadori, Megumi Fushiguro, Gojo Satoru, Toji Fushiguro

A/N : at this point my curse technique gotta be writing fluff bahaha anyway enjoy! ^-^ i wrote this with love

WARNINGS : babies, crying

Itadori Yuji :

yuji doesn’t exactly love taking care of children but he volunteered babysitting neighbours’ kids for money

usually kids like him & not really bother until one of them turns out to be the spawn of satan

okay not that he gets his ass handed by them but he can’t bring himself to scold or even be stern??

he knows he has the advantage with all those muscles & speed but that’s the reason

if he sees a kid climbing a potentially dangerous place he would just gently peel them off each time lol

it doesn’t come as a surprise that Yuji is good at distracting the restless ones or the crybabies

he has mastered that art

him impersonating different pokémons with his whole body is the cutest shit, & kids love it so much

if a child annoys the fuck outta him he’ll prolly scramble around googling tips

him holding like three kids in one arm as he pays you for the icecream with his other because they can't be trusted unattended

maybe you developed a small crush after watching that adorable scene

Megumi Fushiguro :

you might have convinced him with a good repay cus he’s never doing that in his right mind

megumi’s not actually that bad with kids as much as he thinks & things go smoothly (until)

the kids ask him to take one of the divine dogs out for fun & he won’t budge

"what makes you think i’d do something like that" >:0

if the kid turns out to be brattier than he initially thought & is about to cry he’d panic maybe contemplate to run

but he would settle for calling Itadori & ask what to do because "he’s good at cooking, might be good at handling kids"

i think Yuji’d just come over with a silly cute trick to rescue like bringing the two little curses he used on Junpie siksijisfjlk

we know Megumi would lowkey love him for that

IMAGINE HIM MAKING FUNNY FACES TO STOP THE CRYING SNOTTY KID

he’s trying don’t laugh

he can definitely be a little ferm when they don’t listen

megumi wouldn’t say it but he prefers you besides him for a hand in handling them

Gojo Satoru :

good luck to the kids who volunteered to handle this brat

he annoyingly gets along with them too easily

i think he can handle the naughty dwarfs the best?? he has all the tools necessary in his arsenal

first of all he won’t use his abilities unless it’s a really naughty kid like a nasty kid, a menace

he would turn on his infinity so he can deal with them efficiently without the kid resisting him

hey hey in his defence—the naughtier the kid, the naughtier the method

he’s far better in indulging the children than any other care taker you hired, with his sweet but ferm tone that made kids putty in his watch

hide & seeks are fun and hell with him at the same time because kids don't know he can teleport....

"come on, who’s going to be my good little baby today?~ get in line for a kiss~"

has so much advantage with that height, kids know they can’t outsmart him and run around

if there’s this really really naughty one that snapped his last straw he’d just start intimidating them and it’d be the funniest shit

like tracks the kid with his big but slow steps staring down with crystal eyes borring into the little one as they try to run away pffftt

teen gojo was meaner by the way

"tsk... stop crying or i'm taking all the treats your mommy left, you nuisance"

turning on his infinity for the whole day in the name of babysitting

Toji Fushiguro :

ultimate Brat Tamer™

he doesn’t think he fits any job dealing with kids but anything for money i guess

toji has kids at home so atleast he knows to be as gentle as a feather

his first impression on kids always entertains him

like they’d see him walk in & he watches the kids go pleading their moms trying to convince they can be 'good boys' or 'good girls' without a babysitter

you know toji is bit of an evil man so he loves ordering the kids around

"kid, bring me a glass of water?" knowing full well that dwarf of a child can’t reach the counter but the poor kid toddles, staggering a little on short legs to the kitchen anyway

puts them on his stomach as he decides to turn on the tv, securing the sides with his big arms & that’s the way you handle a child thank you

has learnt a few magic tricks and a smile may sneak up on his scarred lips when the toddler gasps in aw

toji doesn’t hesitate to be stern (he has the dilf rights) so kids don’t risk to bother him in the first place

he doesn’t know why but they love his embrace??? some brat said it’s cus his boobs are comfy but that didn’t light any bulb in his noggin

sees the kid hide a handful of toffies behind them and he’s like "cut it out, kid. you don’ want your teeth all rotten, do ya? hand them like a man.." (💀💀💀)

A/N : a’ighttt wrapping it up! i hope you enjoyed this, until next time! —♡

Tags : @luckimoon @maybekoya @nanamikentoseyebags @already-rice @already-rice

[estrellami-1]

Okay so I would NOT do it justice at all but I’d love to see an AU where D&D type creatures actually exist, but it’s very hush-hush.

Here’s the deal, right? All myth comes from some form of truth. The truth, in this case, is that these creatures do, in fact, exist.

Elves, dwarves, all the humanoid-looking ones, are able to interact with the humans without much happening. They might come across as a bit odd, a bit off, but that’s Greg. He’s just Like That.

Dragons and beasts of that sort are harder to explain. The good news is they don’t like humans much, prefer to stay away as much as possible, and the humans haven’t discovered nearly as much of the earth as they’d like to think they have. The ones who encounter the dragons (or other such creatures)? If they make it out alive, they’re sentenced to an asylum. And that’s a mercy.

So they exist. Humans know, at one point, but truth becomes skewed by word-of-mouth tales, which become skewed even more, which become bedtime stories for children, which become stories in books and movies, which become this game. This Dungeons and Dragons game.

Steve hadn’t heard of it before the kids, before Eddie. He was more focused on finishing high school, on having a life, on whatever the fresh hell the Upside Down and the ensuing shit is.

So he hears about this game, and he’s mildly interested, but it doesn’t sound like the kind of game he’d like, so he mostly ignores it.

That is, until he sits in one day on the end of a session, because he’d gotten there early and it was too hot to wait out in the car.

He has to bite his tongue, hide his shaking shoulders, his red face. He knows what Eddie’s trying to do, knows he’s doing his best, but immortal above, Eds, that’s not what a dwarf sounds like.

And, of course, everyone is confused. Judgmental, even. How the hell would Steve know what a dwarf would sound like if he’s never played the game, never gotten into the mythology of it, and anyways it’s not like there’s any dwarves we could actually ask.

Steve refuses at first, avoids the questions, then sits everyone down.

“This does not leave this room.” He looks seriously at everyone, lets every one of his years—well above whatever number they think it is—show in his eyes. “I know what a dwarf sounds like. I know what an elf sounds like. Hell, I even know what a dragon sounds like.” Another look at everyone, sees their eyes on him, sees understanding beginning to dawn in Eddie’s. “I am not human.”

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Save You

Louisa saves Rolan. Again. SFW.

After a morning spent in Wyrm’s Rock breaking out Counsellor Florrick, Louisa was happy to arrive at the Lower City Central Wall.

Boneclock’s Apothecary.

Karlach’s friend Fytz.

Sorcerous Sundries.

Oh shit, there’s Aradin.

“Is that…” Gale whispered loudly to Karlach. “Aradin?”

Dumbfounded, Karlach nodded.

Halsin’s face is stone cold serious.

Louisa rolled her eyes. When she confronted Aradin, she learned that Lorroakan was the one looking for the Nightsong (Rolan, I told you he’s bad news!!!!) and decided to lie to him about whether she located the “relic.”

Of course I’m not telling him where Dame Aylin is!

Aradin stormed off, and the dwarf shook her head. “Come on, let’s head inside. If I remember correctly, Tolna is the one to speak to about rare tomes.”

Gale rubbed his hands together excitedly. “Excellent. Let us be about it then!”

Louisa, Karlach, and Halsin laughed as he darted inside the shop with Shovel following close behind.

However, she stopped laughing when she saw who was behind the counter.

Rolan.

What happened to his face?!?!?!?

WHO HURT MY ROLAN?!?!?!

As fast as my short godsdamned legs could take her, she rushed to the desk and immediately tried to climb it. “Rolan, what on earth is going on? What happened? Who hurt you?” She panted as she lost her grip.

Try again. Or…find a stool.

“My dear lady, you cannot simply do this in an establishment such as—” Gale whispered harshly, but Karlach touched his shoulder, shaking her head.

Rolan was also shaking his head. “Louisa darling, please. I-I…simply fell. That’s all. I’m fine. Please.” He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Please.”

Looking into his perfect, beautiful eyes, she saw fear.

I couldn’t save Estinien.

But I can save Rolan.

I will save Rolan.

Sighing, she let herself stand on solid marble I suppose once more. “We’re looking for rare tomes. Tolna, right?”

He nodded. “Yes, over there.” Rolan pointed at the woman at a desk in the back. “She can help you with that.”

Something flashed in Gale’s eyes before he smiled. “Thank you very much! Karlach, Halsin---would you like to join me?” Oh Gale, you’re gesturing with your head for them to come with you. I think they get it, mate.

A giggling Karlach and a smiling Halsin went with Gale, leaving Rolan and Louisa alone.

Well, not really alone but it’s better than—

“Gods, it’s so good to see you, my love. How are you?” Rolan said softly.

He never fails to make my heart skip a beat. Despite the bruises, he looks so handsome in the light that’s coming in.

Releasing a breath she did not know she was holding, she smiled brightly. “Good, and you? How’s the apprenticeship?”

Fear flashed in his eyes again. “As well as can be expected. Master Lorroakan is very demanding and has high standards that everyone, including me, must meet.”

Louisa groaned. “Oh, so he’s a wizard with a tiny spellbook. Color me surprised.” Let’s move onto a happier topic. “I saw Lia and Cal yesterday. They’re enjoying Wildheart Manor, but they said they miss you.” I was shocked to hear that Rolan hasn’t been to see them at the manor, and he won’t let them come here.

But I think I know why now…

The Master of Ramazith’s Tower will have words with me.

His shoulders sagged as he sighed. “I miss them terribly. However, it will all be worth it when my apprenticeship is complete. It…it will all be worth it…” Blinking, he composed him, plastering on a fake smile. You can’t fool me, love. “Now, is there anything else I can help you with, my lady?”

She nodded. “There is, I have some items to sell, and I’d like to see what you have on offer…”

***

The battle raged.

Rolan casted his thunderwave, killing the halfling and harming the myrmidoms and his master. Then he doubled over in agony as Lorroakan’s rebukes injured him.

“NO!” Louisa screamed from above. She used Misty Step to spread out.

She watched in horror as Lorroakan casted Ice Storm.

“ROLAN! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

She watched in utter horror as he died, body freezing solid.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“Soldier! Soldier! It’s okay! Wake up! Everything is okay!”

Her emerald eyes opened, and she realized that nearly all her companions were standing over her. Louisa’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment. “Gods, I am so sorry. After everything with Yenna earlier and now this, I’m so—”

Astarion raised an eyebrow. “Please, as if you haven’t done the same for each of us.” He sat on her bed and took her hand. “Now, be a dear and let us dote on you.”

The dwarf threw her arms around the vampire and mumbled, “I love you all so much.”

***

Louisa hated that she had to leave Rolan after they killed that bastard. She did not want to, but Karlach’s deeper wounds needed tending.

And there’s still so much to do.

At least Gale offered to stay with Rolan and help him clean up.

When she returned to Ramazith’s Tower that evening after we battled a nutty sorcerer and his grease friends, she expected to find Rolan resting after a difficult day.

What she found was Rolan writing letters.

“Love, what are you doing?” Louisa asked slowly, staring at him as he wrote furiously on parchment. “Have you eaten? Rested?”

A frustrated noise escaped him. “Darling, I must get these out to the other archmages of Faerun to inform them that I’m the new Master of Ramazith’s Tower and hope they accept the change of leadership without too many questions. Then I shall take my rest.”

She shook her head. “You can do that tomorrow.” Tomorrow, Rolan. TOMORROW. “Come on, love. Let’s—”

“Louisa, I—” Rolan began to protest.

Something inside Louisa Wildheart snapped.

“Rolan, I could’ve lost you today for fuck’s sake!” The dwarf screamed, fists balled at her sides. “I almost lost you!”

The dream.

His body frozen.

Dead.

Gone like Estinien.

Gone.

Gone…

As she began to sob, Rolan rushed to her and fell to his knees to hug her. He awkwardly but adorably sat and pulled her into his lap. “Sweetheart, I’m alright. I’m fine.” He took one of her hands, brought it to his lips for a brief kiss, and then laid it palm down over his heart.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

He’s alive.

He’s fine.

He’s here with me, and I’m not going to lose him.

I saved him.

“I wouldn’t survive if I lost you too.” She admitted softly, head resting against him. “I had to save you…”

Rolan squeezed her hand gently. “You did, my little love. You saved me again.” He then chuckled and pressed a kiss on the top of her head. “Now, I believe you said something about supper? I’m positively famished.” He released his hold on her and watched her stand, yellow eyes watching her with affection.

Supper, hmm…don’t know what Wizard Bastard keeps in his pantry.

WAIT A SECOND! If the ingredients are there, then I can—

Once Rolan was standing, he offered his hand, which I very gladly took! He’s such a gentleman. “Will you allow me to spoil you for once, love?” Louisa teased as they walked to the kitchen.

“Ha! I suppose I can allow it, yes. Why? What do you have planned, darling?”

They reached the kitchen, and she grinned before darting to the icebox. YES! “I’m going to make you something that my Da absolutely loved---creamy ham on toast.”

And so, with her love for my grumpy man with the sexy tail overflowing in her heart, Louisa made Rolan her father’s specialty. What he made me the morning after Estinien’s death. Something warm and delicious and comforting.

I hope he likes it.

To her delight, he did not simply like it.

He loves it and wants to make it for me soon.

That night, asleep in her lover’s arms, Louisa allowed herself to dream of the future for the first time since her adventure began.

Everything will be alright, I know it.

I know it, because…

I have him.

My Rolan.

[verdantglow]

Okay so @plumadot’s posting about her D&D Traffic AU has made me remember how much I love my Dungeons & Traffic AU & I Must Talk About It Now.

Basically all the characters are in a modern setting, playing a rotating cast D&D game DMed by The Watchers. (I never really decided how that works. Plan was for everything in out of game space be completely mundane except for the floating purple eye behind the DM screen lol.)

But yeah! So I picked classes & heritages that the characters would pick themselves based on play styles & preferences. &, uh, here they are!

Bdubs: Firbolg, Light Domain Cleric of Helios

Of course he’s a light cleric. Of course his god is literally the god of the Sun. This man does not fuck with the night & darkness At All. (Also he wanted to be tall lol.)

BigB: (???), (???)

Okay, gonna be honest, BigB is the last one I need to make decisions for ‘cause I feel I have too many knowledge gaps about him to figure this out. Was thinking Paladin maybe??? But I will totes take input, please help me here. Only restrictions: I’d prefer if he doesn’t double up on heritage or subclass with anyone.

Cleo: Reborn, Circle of Wildfire Druid

Cleo’s gotta be a zombie, so Reborn is perfect. & who can deny Cleo the opportunity to have a skill set based entirely around setting shit on fire?

Etho: Shadar-Kai, Way of the Shadow Monk

He’s a ninja lol. Also in this AU I was thinking he & Gem would be siblings, so having him play an emotionally flat dark elf played nicely with what Gem goes with. Which…

Gem: Eladrin, Eldritch Knight Fighter

Gem had to be a fighter, that girl is a fighter through & through, but she’s definitely not playing a boring character. Eldritch Knight adds some magical flavour that goes well with her being an Eladrin. & she had to be an elf of some kind; I think she’d like the versatility & expressiveness of Eladrin.

Grian: Changeling, Pact of the Tome Warlock of the Archfey

Okay, I know this is probs controversial but hear me out. 1) Grian being a Warlock I think is just very in character. 2) Pact of the Tome lets him cast catrips from other classes & you unknowingly he’d get a kick outta that mechanic. 3) His patron is a homebrewed version of The Traveler, half way between 5e canon & Critical Role canon. Trickster vibes are real. 4) This dude has had so many skins. Changeling energy. (Also I just love changelings & Grian made the most sense to me.)

Impulse: Hill Dwarf, Forge Domain Cleric of Tharmekhûl

Another controversial one, but I’m not a fan of demon/tiefling/horned Impulse. & he legit has been a dwarf before. Hill dwarf because they get a Wisdom buff & that makes sense for Impulse. Cleric of Tharmekhûl because forge/light vibes & also he’s the god of smiths & that feels… like something Impulse would choose. (Impulse’s character is also min-max’d to hell. This man is going to win at D&D.)

Jimmy: Human, Oath of Glory Paladin of Tyr

Jimmy got overwhelmed by all the heritages & just went human for simplicity. He takes regular human rather than variant because he doesn’t want to learn all the feats & getting +1 to all stats is pretty good, right? Oath of Glory Paladin of Tyr because he really, really plays into being Lawful Good, & being The Law of the party.

Joel: Half-orc, Path of the Berserker Barbarian

Half-orc for being the closest I could get to an ogre. Path of the Berserker because he’s all about The Rage.

Lizzie: High Elf, School of Enchantment Wizard

Idk Lizzie just has big Wizard vibes to me, but like. Not the best wizard. Like she’s powerful, but rolls shit. She couldn’t get anyone to sleep in the Secret Life campaign because her DC is kinda low & everyone kept making their saves. (Except Joel. He failed his save on purpose. <3) High Elf for Queen Lizzie.

Martyn: Tiefling, Swashbuckler Fighter

Another natural fighter choice imo, but Swashbuckler for The Performance. Tiefling because he’s a bit impish & also so he can have Thaumaturgy to constantly scare everyone with monster/mob noises.

Mumbo: Rock Gnome, School of Evocation Wizard

I need to Mumbo to be a glass canon. School of Evocation Wizard does that so well. He can blow shit up so good, but he takes one hit & he’s out. Rock gnome because he just wanted to be a little guy & so he can be a Tinker.

Pearl: Wood Elf, Beastmaster Ranger

Beastmaster Ranger so she can have Tilly as an animal companion. Also more combat than magic focused, ‘cause that feels right? Elf because that’s her vibe, wood elf because it made sense for her build.

Ren: Werewolf Shifter (Doglike), Bannerette Fighter

Ren really wanted to be a fighter, but he put all his points in charisma RIP. So yeah, he’s the fighter class that does the least actual fighting lol. Doglike werewolf because of course.

Scar: Half-elf, Wild Magic Sorcerer/School of Eloquence Bard multiclass

His first few levels were in sorcerer, to reflect his absolutely bonkers all or nothing luck. School of Eloquence because he’s the type to talk his way out of most any situation he can. Also: Scar is 100% a charisma caster. (He still uses a longbow, don’t worry; he gets proficiency with it from being a half-elf.)

Scott: Fairy, Lunar Sorceror

I have changed my mind the most about Scott. Landed on Fairy, because the Vibes. Sorcerer because I felt he’d have innate magic, Lunar because it gives him access to a wide variety of spells that make sense for him. (Like Shield. He uses Shield all the time. Can’t hit this man, no sir.)

Skizz: Protector Aassimar, Path of the Ancestral Guardians Barbarian

He attac, he protec. & most importantly, he place high value on bonds between folks. So giving him Ancestral Guardians just… yeah.

Tango: Fire Genasi, Battlesmith Artificer

I don’t think I need to explain this much. His Steel Defender is an Iron Golem.

[chidoroki]

Black Clover ch353

Apparently the legendary dragon had the land perpetually covered in yoryoku, so the inhabitants never actually saw the real sky before. I guess it wasn’t really noticeable to us in manga either, but I’m sure if and whenever this moment gets animated the new sky will be beautiful to witness. (kinda reminds me of Juvia seeing the sky for the first time without her rain).

Y’all are just gonna sit back and wait in hopes the Bulls will appear? I mean I don’t doubt them; they’re sure to find someway over here with some crazy method, but then they’ll all have to travel back to Clover anyway. Just seems like more work to me? Can’t we have Asta wash up on the shores like Yami did back in the day? Pfftt, but yeah sure, our boy needs a break anyway. He can worry about judgement day later..

For now, we celebrate! Everyone seems so happy and lively which is good! They deserve to let loose and have some fun. I find it kinda hilarious they’re all gonna feast on the dragon. Sure it was all just laying there dead now and the thing was huge, so all that meat can last them like..several years. Thankfully Lily is getting some proper rest too, but still won’t wake until Lucius is defeated.

We see Ichika ask again about who really killed off the Yami clan, but Ryu’s silence is a loud enough answer to that. And I dunno why but I think Fuji is probably my favorite out of the seven. He just seems so chill playing his biwa and I love it.

I know I should be focusing more on the fact that Ichika apologizes to Asta about speaking ill of Yami, but I simply can’t ignore the fact our boy is actually drinking! Oh Vanessa would be so very proud of him. I desperately want to see the two of them celebrate together now.

The whole Charmy resemblance towards this Ocha-ami doll has me confuzzled, like I thought it looking like our famous big eater was just for shits and giggles. I wasn’t expecting it to have some sort of backstory?? Has Charmy actually been to Land of the Sun once before? Could she get the rest of the Bulls there now since they’re trying to find Asta? Or is this all a bunch of nonsense and the real Ocha-ami is someone completely different? Maybe a real distant relative on Charmy’s dwarf side, or whatever side of her has the food magic? Charmy is such a big mystery, I dunno, it’s all rather silly to think about but still funny to me.

Not gonna lie but Jozo looks kinda nice without his mask? I assume he wears it to hide all those scars and to better fit the mysterious ninja persona we’ve seen from him already, but I like it. He kinda reminds me of Gabimaru from Hell’s Paradise, which is weird how I even thought of him considering I’ve only seen him from trailer previews? But oh my god, please let Yosuga and Mereoleona meet up! Imagine the fight they would get into! (she’d probably wipe the floor with him).

Soon after Daizaemon suggests Asta take a dip in the hot spring and seeing our boy all bare was certainly not on my list of things I’d wanted to see. Though I did get the reminder of the giant scar across his chest he received at the start of this arc. Poor lad needs to stop getting hurt so much. And as per hot spring tradition, ya can’t visit one without some kind of fanservice happening, so Asta unexpectedly runs into Ichika (due to Daizaemon’s forgetfulness). Thankfully Ichika’s embarrassment and Asta’s quick getaway spars him of any harm. For now.

Asta wastes no time to apologize the next morning like the good boy he his and we’re back at it again with some more upcoming training. With the way the chapter ends, it reminds me of how the six month training in Heart was handled, so hopefully we time skip right to judgement day, or at least back to Clover and the other Bulls to see what they’ve been up to the past couple days.

But ah, how great this was. Finally a chapter that gave me stuff to ramble on about for more than a couple sentences! The fight was nice and all but I very much enjoyed seeing the seven and Asta all chill out for once.

[tuberculosis-bot-9000]

RULES: answer the questions then tag some peeps (🐥) you want to get to know better/catch up with.

Tagged by: @stars-of-shadowmoon

Last Song: Heirloom by Sleeping at Last

Last Show: BBC’s 2020 Dracula miniseries. HOLY SHIT was it good (except for the last episode. what the fuck was up with that. I know they took liberties with the show but they butchered Lucy Westenra, Arthur Holmwood, and Quincy Morris. Jack Seward was spot-on though.) The first episode was absolutely insane and I love it so much. Claes Bang is a fantastic actor and perfectly embodies Count Dracula so so much.

Currently Watching: Nothing right now, busy writing and moving (woo!!)

Currently Reading: Ordinary Monsters by J. M. Miro. Pretty good, like a solid 7/10.

Current Obsession: Dracula. And vampires in general, but mostly Dracula. I love Dracula. I’d reread Dracula if I didn’t have a fat stack of things to do and read currently (which includes Frankenstein by Mary Shelley!!)

Unrelated Obsession: My upcoming DnD campaigns! I’m DMing one and playing another, so I’m constantly full of thoughts about DnD.

Tagging: @gremlin-t33fs @tallon-underworld @orcposts (krogurr this is @dwarf-posting ‘s star wars sideblog you can tag me as dwarf-posting if you’d like)

[hwats-the-big-idea]

My autistic ass has been up to some crazy shit these past few days. I started playing planet zoo and not even a week into the game the computer goes caput. Frame rate on every single game is absolutely horrendous, games don't even load past a single frame for 20 mins, and there's no internet to the computer yet (we just bought a dongle and are waiting on the delivery) so we can't fix it at all rn. Well, my hyperfixation just couldn't handle this absolute nonsense, if I couldn't play the game (I literally stay up for 2 days at a time playing nonstop lmao) I'd invest my time elsewhere. With a new dlc right around the corner and the games end on the horizon, I wrote a huge post on what dlcs I think pz needs before it finishes. I've been researching animals and pz for days, I'm happy to have some new animal facts under the belt now as well. Well, I went to post it to reddit and I just... can't. I get an unknown error. It's in reddit character limits but maybe the specific sub limits characters. Well I would've posted it and split it in half with the second half in the comments but I can only post dlc wishlist on Wednesday uk time 😭 by the time I finished everything it was already 4 am across the pond.

I really, really just want to document my crazy autistic ramblings and surmise my opinion as the most correct one as always lol, so I'm gonna post my post here and hopefully I'll be able to figure it out next Wednesday. I don't see a strong pz community here in tumblr so I'll probably be talking to myself but what else is new? Here goes. Is a long one, bois. Sorry the format is unpleasant here:

Here I list every dlc I think I’d want/would do good for the game before it ends. I go into 2025 with my wishlist just because I don’t think the game can really fully finish by 2024 even though I’ve seen some speculation we might just be getting one more year of dlcs. I’ve gone on to wrap up this year, speculate for 2024, as well as 2025.

This will be a long post, an opinion piece over predictions of what I genuinely think will come, and I’ll discuss my reasons why I chose everything after I list the dlcs. I’ve taken inspiration from wishlists, what bigger names in the community have been predicting, and just what I hope to see come to the game. In my speculations I focus mostly on diversity, uniqueness in looks and mechanics, as well as what we need from rigs for mods. I’ve tried to be as inclusive as I could in my selections so I hope there’s people who will enjoy what I’ve come up with! I’ve also only recently started playing the game so I don’t understand it in as intimate a way as long time players may and I’m probably overlooking some scenery items, so take my scenery speculation with a grain of salt. I’d love to hear opinions on it all.

…

2023 dlc wrap ups

Temperate scenery pack

-Sea otter (headliner)

-European red squirrel

-Tanuki

-Collared peccary or European wild boar

Exhibit

-Chipmunk walkthrough exhibit.

Tundra animal pack

-Pacific walrus (headliner)

-Wolverine

-Musk ox

-Arctic hare

-Southern rockhopper penguin

-Tundra swan, snow goose, Canada goose, or duck (harlequin, mandarin, wood, or mallard)

-American white pelican

Exhibit

-Pika, chinchilla, or white winter dwarf hamster

…

2024 dlcs

Taiga scenery pack

-Pallas cat (headliner)

-Golden takin

-Fisher cat, stoat, or European pine marten

-Yellow bellied marmot/alpine marmot

(Alternate species:

-North American porcupine

-American black bear)

Exhibit

-Japanese rhinoceros beetle

Islands animal pack

-Tasmanian devil (headliner)

-Japanese giant salamander

-Cuban crocodile

-Malayan civet/Asian palm civet

-Fairy penguin

-Goodfellow’s/matschie’s tree kangaroo

-American flamingo

(Alternate species:

-Coconut crab

-Coquerel’s sifaka

-Sumatran rhinoceros

-Marine iguana)

Exhibit

-Tenrec

Scrublands scenery pack

-Saiga antelope (headliner)

-Gerenuk

-Alligator snapping turtle

-Roadrunner or burrowing owl

(Alternate species:

-Banded mongoose)

Exhibit

-desert tortoise or thorny devil

Rainforests animal pack

-Olive/hamadryas baboon (headliner)

-Coati mundi

-Bush dog

-Sloth bear

-Common squirrel monkey or black handed spider monkey,

-Golden lion/emperor tamarin

-Muntjac

Exhibit

-Leaf cutter ants, thorny stick insect, or giant prickly stick insect

…

2025 dlcs to wrap up the game with

To preface 2025 would see dlcs that have huge game changing mechanics, it’s definitely just personal desires since it’d be a tall order for the year, but these are all things that so many people have really been asking for and I think are are things that we would all rather enjoy for the game before it ends. We wouldn’t be seeing very many animals in any of the packs (not like we have for the terrestrial animals), but with the right selections it would allow modders to really expand the library after the games end.

Barnyard scenery pack

-American Pygmy goat or boer goat (headliner)

-Jacob sheep

-Miniature donkey or Shetland pony

-Vietnamese pot bellied pig

Exhibit: touch pools

-Southern stingray or cownose stingray

-White spotted bamboo shark or brown banded bamboo shark

-Ochre sea star (or other sea star)

-Aggregating anemone or slate pencil urchin

-Atlantic horseshoe crab

Ground bird animal pack

-Secretary bird (headliner)

-Darwin’s rhea

-Shoebill

-Marabou stork

-Roseate spoonbill

-Southern ground hornbill

-Kiwi or kakapo

Exhibit: cage exhibits

-Golden pheasant

-Raggiana bird of paradise

-Ocellated turkey

-Scarlet ibis

-Victorian crowned pigeon

Aquariums animal and scenery pack

-Bottlenose dolphin (headliner)

-West Indian manatees

-Beluga

-Manta ray

-Loggerhead sea turtle

-Hammerhead shark

-Black sea bass or black grouper

Exhibit: aquarium exhibits

-Yellow seahorse

-Compass jellyfish

-Giant pacific octopus

-Moray eel

-Tropical fish (clownfish, blue hippo tang, moorish idol, etc)

Aviary animal and scenery pack

-Scarlet macaw, blue and yellow macaw, hyacinth macaw morphs (headliner)

-Bald eagle or California condor

-Toco toucan

-Barn owl or great horned owl

-Laughing kookaburra

-Puffin

-Blue jay

Exhibit: walkthrough bird exhibit

-Sun conure

-Rainbow lorikeet

-Parakeet

-Sulfur crested cockatoo

-Ecuadorian amazon parrot

…

These are all the packs that I have come up with that I think would be good enough to end planet zoo by the end of 2025. They don’t include anywhere near all the animals that we ultimately desire as a community but I think that the species are diverse enough to be able to mod most anything we want in. I’ll go on and talk about each pack individually now and why I chose what I did/what I think each pack would include.

…

Temperate

A lot of people think that temperate and tundra will be the next inclusions, so they’re where I went with my speculation. For the temperate pack I’ve made it a scenery pack since that will be next if the scenery-animal pack trend continues. For this pack I’ve included a few animals I think are necessary for the game. First I’ve included the sea otter, an animal we could never see through mods, and one people want to see. I’ve also included the tanuki, I think it’s an animal that a lot of people would just enjoy having in the game. I also have the collared peccary or European wild boar, honestly either of them, or some other pig, would work in this spot, we just need more pigs in the game. And I have the European red squirrel, it’s found in some zoos, and would just be an interesting animal and rig in the game. I also have a chipmunk walkthrough exhibit, an idea from J-Double U, which I think would just flesh out walkthrough exhibits. We’d see bats, butterflies, birds (hopefully), and with this one a mammal so I thought it was a good inclusion. For scenery I think it’d be very nice to see some rustic wood cabin/camping sort of aesthetics. I’m an Oregonian myself so the Oregon zoo is dear to me, and I’d love some scenery that just says “temperate rainforest”. I’ve also just recently started playing the game so maybe I just haven’t had the chance to see every single piece we have yet, but I would love for some more diversity in our wood options, especially in sizes and shapes it all comes in. I’d also like some foliage like blackberries and furze/gorse bushes, California poppies, as well as flexi color wildflowers. As well, I know we lack trees that have a real canopy, I think some canopy trees would be really nice here. I think we could see some other scenery options, but I’d just love lots of stuff themed around a cooler climate. I think we also need some new stone pieces, bricks, and just simple flexi color building materials. I loved what we got in the tropical pack, I’d like to see some of that sort of stuff themed around a temperate climate as well and even more basic in its building capacity. … Tundra For the tundra pack I’ve included the walrus, a very much needed animal in the game, as well as some requests such as the wolverine and the musk ox. I’ve also included the arctic hare because we really could use a lagomorph of some sort. I’ve also included the rockhopper penguin because I think it’s one of the penguin types we’re lacking in diversity, and with frontier’s new animal modeling the yellow feathers would come out great on them. I’ve included the American white pelican, but really any pelican could find their way in this spot. I know the Australian pelican is the community’s desire but the American white fits the tundra theme better. Honestly though whichever pelican finds their place here we’d see the others through mods. It also was just a hard decision in general on the other water fowl. We need swans, geese, and ducks in the game and we don’t have any good rigs for them. I don’t think even the pelican rig would suffice. Honestly if it could be done by frontier I’d love to see at least both one duck and one goose in this pack, but ultimately for moddings sake I think either or would work out just fine. Really I think it’d just be a matter of which frontier personally would want to include, but I’ve dropped my choices down here. For the exhibit animal I’ve included a few options for mammals, I’d love to see more mammalian diversity in the exhibits. I think any of the choices here would be a good option really. I think chinchillas would really stand out but they’re also a somewhat common pet animal so it might be nice to see one of the other too as well.

…

Taiga

The taiga pack was a hard choice, but for the sake of the game and rigs it has to offer I’ve opted for the mustelids and the marmot over the black bear and the porcupine. Since we already have both a porcupine rig and lots of options for a bear rig these animals will easily find their way into the game through mods at its end so I chose the animals I think would offer something more unique to the game. I chose the fisher, pine marten, or stoat here because we really could use a more traditional weasel in the game imo. The Pallas cat is a popular request, so it was a necessary inclusion. I’ve chosen the Japanese rhinoceros beetle as the exhibit animal but because I absolutely love these insects and would want to see them in the game. I think that scenery pieces could represent some part of Eurasia, like Russia or Italy, I imagine we could use some bold, round shapes, with a large selection of rounded building pieces. I think it’d be nice to include some more cold climate pieces especially ones that represent a modern culture and without any Christmas theming to it.

…

Islands

For the islands pack it was a bit of a tossup on certain species. I’m most partial to this pack myself since it includes some of my own highly requested animals: the Tasmanian devil, the Japanese giant salamander, and the Cuban crocodile. The t devil is definitely a very, very requested animal. I also think the giant salamander and Cuban crocodile just also provide something unique we haven’t really seen in the game. For the salamander its a massive amphibian that I’d just love to build for in game, and the crocodile is a smaller croc that would have higher land requirements and a bit of a running-esc animation which I both unique for the game. I’ve included the fairy penguin since they’re such a beautiful bird, probably my favorite penguin, and we just don’t have any very tiny penguins like it in the game. There’s been many requests for various penguins, but I think for the majority of them we could easily find them through mods, the fairy penguin is something more unique in its regard. I’ve also included the tree kangaroo, a request from some, and a civet, which I think both bring a unique arboreal lifestyle to the game. I think having unique animals like them, plus their rigs, in the game is important for it at this point. I think my most controversial inclusion would probably be the American flamingo esp since we can see it through mods and all of the alternative animals I have seen as requests by the community, but personally I think it’s just a crime to the game we don’t have a pink flamingo. They’re what I’m familiar with in zoos and absolutely my preference for flamingos over the greater flamingo. Though I think the coquerel’s sifaka and coconut crab are very interesting animals that would give unique mods to the game. Honestly the flamingo or any of the alternative animals would fill this spot well. I’ve included the tenrec as the exhibit animal because it’s very unique and would provide some mammalian diversity to the exhibits. I think there are so many other good choices here, but personally I’d love to see a mammal.

…

Scrublands

I’d love to see a scrublands theme come to the game personally. Here I’ve included the saiga antelope and the gerenuk, both ungulates, but I think both are very unique ungulate forms and I’d still like to see the diversity with them. I think they’d both provide something interesting to the game and animals fun to build for, especially the gerenuk with its browsing. I think we could even see a browsing enrichment item inspired by the gerenuk come to the game as well to really get a sight at their rearing. I’ve included as well either the roadrunner or the burrowing owl, both unique ground birds I think that would be very fun for the game. Personally I’d prefer to build something for the roadrunner, but I think that burrowing owls might be more iconic and more requested, so I’ve included them both as an option here. Lastly I’ve included the alligator snapping turtle in this lineup. It’s a huge reptile, one I think the game could definitely use for our zoo building, and just so peculiar looking. I think it’d really be a statement animal that I’d love to build for. For the exhibit I’ve picked the desert tortoise or the thorny devil, I’d like to see others. For the scenery I definitely want to see scrublands scenery. We have desert and grass themes items already, but I’ve been living in Texas for just over a year now and I’m enamored by just how beautiful it is here and I don’t think the game really captures just enough scrub/grass/swamp aesthetic. I’d be looking for scenery pieces that really feel like a swampy boat ride through the scrublands, I find foliage like the Texas madrone and the saw palmetto beautiful and definitely could be included in a scrublands pack. Outside of those two I think just any plants you generally find in scrublands, swamps, plains/prairies, pampas, etc would be good. I think with the grasslands pack being an animal pack the scrublands being a scenery pack would bring in lots of new foliage. People also often are sinking trees down into the ground to represent small bush plants, I think with a scrublands pack we could see lots of foliage that can represent what people are doing with trees as actual bushes. I think we could also get more rocks in this pack, rocks that represent the beauty of a place like Utah, and/or some rocks in flexicolor.

…

Rainforest

For the rainforest animal pack I included the muntjac. I know the dik dik is a more highly requested animal but it’s a scrublands animal while the muntjac is a rainforest animal. I also have the alternative of the southern pudu, I’m just most partial to the muntjac personally (I find their scent glands to be so fascinating looking). I also wanted to include either the Chinese water deer or the Siberian musk deer, but I think with the muntjac we would easily see mods for all of these animals honestly. I think any of them could find their place in the slot I allocated for the muntjac. I included lots of primates in this pack, a baboon of some kind is a very requested animal, and personally I just don’t feel like we have enough small primates in the game. The capuchin just isn’t enough for me, so I’ve included another monkey of some kind (squirrel or spider I think would be good choices, though we could see potentially another option), as well as a tamarin. I think both of these animals would just look great in a pz zoo and provide what I think is needed diversity to the primates. I’ve also included the sloth bear here. Honestly it was hard to include just one bear in all of my pack ideas here because sloth bears, black bears, and spectacled bears are all highly requested animals. Really I think any of them could find their way here, especially since rainforests aren’t just limited to tropical jungles and can be temperate forests, but I did limit myself to just one bear choice since we ultimately will have the rigs for more bears to find their way into the game through mods I saw them as a less important inclusion for that reason. Lastly I’ve included in this pack the coati since we really ought to have a coati in the game, as well as the bush dog. They aren’t common in zoos but South America has some of the most unique canids and people just don’t know about them, I think including one (outside of the popular maned wolf) would provide a unique learning opportunity on these amazing animals, plus it’d just be so cool to have a semi aquatic packing canid in the game I’d love to see it. For the exhibit animal I chose leaf cutter ants, though I can see they may be difficult to do because of their size, though I do think leaf bits would help that. If they just aren’t feasible I’ve included a couple stick insect options since I’d also love to see these animals in the game. I chose to make the rainforest pack an animal pack since we already have lots of jungle-like scenery in the game, I wanted to give the scenery spotlight to some other biomes, especially since the tropical pack recently was a scenery pack.

…

The next four packs are definitely tall order packs. They’d bring big changes to the game, but I think changes that we as a community would like to see. They’re all highly requested pack themes, and I think that the new mechanics would breathe new life into the game. They’d really let it live for a long time after its completed.

Barnyard

This barnyard pack brings to the game a petting zoo mechanic, as well as barn themed set pieces and some small aquarium set pieces to set up for the aquarium pack itself and to include in the touch pools. I chose a goat, a sheep, a donkey/pony, and a pig over animals like rabbits, chickens, or guinea pigs because I think it’d be much easier to do just a “crouch and pet” animation. Smaller animals would need a much larger change to mechanics so my animal choices are all medium sized. I’ve also included touch pools. I think they would be a great inclusion to the game, and I think fit in the “petting zoo” theme as well. I’ve included some stingrays and sharks which the touch tanks at Stingray Cove in the Denver zoo really inspired me. Really I think that touch pools could be incorporated in a few ways. They could include some construction pieces to make a few touch tanks of different sizes, maybe some dedicated concrete and glass pieces to build them that can contain water like the barriers. The other animal species I’ve included in the touch pools are sea stars, a horseshoe grab, and an anemone or sea urchin, which are all pretty common animals in touch pools. I think similarly to the barnyard animal petting animation, the touch tanks could use the same or similar animation. I think the scenery for this pack would definitely be a lot of barn/farm and touch pool aesthetics.

…

Ground birds

Here I’ve included lots of ground bird species that people want to see. Not much to say, I think they’re all pretty common requests, and fulfill the community’s desire for more ground birds. The unique mechanics for this pack come from the new form of exhibits, and exhibit rehaul. I think everyone wants a little bit more out of exhibits, be it changing their sizes, shapes, or more in depth editing for them. The exhibits for the birds in this pack come as cages which would house the exhibit bird species. It was a long time ago and I don’t remember where it was, but I walked down a long alley with all kinds of birds in it and I’d really want to capture that kind of feeling with this. I’ve included a few exhibit bird species here, I don’t think these species would fly, but honestly that’s frontier’s ultimate decision.

…

Aquariums

This pack brings the long desired aquariums to the game, and I chose a selection of animals that I think would all provide unique mods to the game. I’d talk about the mechanics for this, but I think that Rudi Rennkamel summarizes it much better, I’ll link that video at the end of this post. In short, I think they would work similarly to the touch pools, just on a much larger scale. This pack would bring a lot of new pieces all themed around aquariums and provide us with everything we’d need for building a small aquarium zoo. Again, Rudi talks about this much more in depth.

…

Aviary

The last pack we’ll see come to planet zoo is the aviary pack, which will bring flying birds to wrap up the game. I’ve chosen a selection of birds that would bring a variety of rigs to the game, which is why I’ve included a bird like the blue jay. I think that most of the birds listed here are pretty common requests from the community, and any others we’d want to see I think can come from mods. This pack also brings a walkthrough exhibit for birds with many species of parrot, something that everybody wants to see. I think this pack also would bring new building pieces to make aviaries, and similar to the aquariums, we would need to make a suitable habitat first before we could fill it with the animals. I think we’d see lots of bird enrichment items, glass, netting, wiring, in many shapes such as round, triangular, pentagon, and hexagon, anything that we’d need to make a suitable aviary for the flying birds.

…

The end I think after the aviary pack we will see a few free updates to the game. Updates to fix bugs in the last year of dlcs, updates to animal models and behavior, mechanics, the works. I think 2026 would be a year of tlc for the game and just getting it prepped to be finished for good. Sorry this post was so long, I just had some fun with my speculations here.

The videos:

https://youtu.be/bOqNfDyenjo?si=nRFbOk5B36_BONQ5

https://youtu.be/iKIZSIvbJ6E?si=r00teDq4EDIvnavP

[harrywavycurly]

If we are just going down the list can I selfishly ask for examples of the times you call Eddie and he doesn’t hesitate to answer? Thank you!🥰

Hiii babes!! Of course you can ask for this!! I hope you enjoy this, you’re so welcome!!💖

*honestly the idea of bothering Eddie with phone calls at random times just brings me joy. Is that just me?😂*

“Hello?” “Eddie can you come get me? I’m stuck at the library because your curly haired child talked me into checking out a book about chemicals or some shit and then he left me.” “Sweetheart he’s not my child don’t say that shit out loud and also Dustin just left you? How did you get to the library?” “I used his bike.” “If you used his bike how did he get there?” “He walked but then I came out and gave him the book and he took his damn bike back! So can you please come get me?” “Yes yes hold on I’m on my way.”

“Baby it’s 1am are you okay?” “Have you ever actually looked at the moon? It’s super big tonight.” “Sweetheart….” “Like really it’s fucking massive tonight. Go look at it.” “You’re really gonna make me get out of bed at 1 in the morning to look at the moon?” “Only if you want…” “Don’t use that voice on me princess you know I’d stop the world from turning if you asked me to.” “So are you looking at it?” “Yes. It does look fucking massive.” “Aren’t you glad I made you go look at it?” “You’re so lucky I love you.”

“Good morning sweetheart.” “Good morning. Can we go get pancakes?” “Can pancakes wait another hour for me to fully wake up or is it a breakfast food emergency?” “It’s only a borderline emergency so I can give you like half an hour.” “Deal. I’ll come get you and we can go get all the pancakes you want baby.” “Oh can you bring me a sweatshirt?” “You’re such a little clothes thief.” “It’s not stealing if you give them to me.” “I guess that’s true. I’ll see you soon princess.” “Love you, don’t forget the sweatshirt.” “Love you too. Don’t worry I won’t.”

“Baby?….Sweetheart?….What’s wrong why are you crying?” “He died Eddie. He fucking died and you knew it was gonna happen and you didn’t warn me.” “Oh baby I’m sorry. I didn’t want to spoil it for you.” “You let me get attached to him! You knew he was my favorite dwarf!” “Thorin was a good dude he died honorably.” “He still fucking died Edward! I’m so upset fucking this whole series I’m not doing this shit again.” “Sweetheart you’ll like the Lord of the Rings I swear you will, you won’t get so attached to just one character this time.” “I don’t trust you anymore you asshole.” “I’m sorry baby. Do I need to come over and comfort you?” “Yes why the hell do you think I called?” “Right. I’m on my way.” “Expect a whole book to be thrown at your head when you get here.” “Wouldn’t expect anything less.”

“How did it go?” “You’re talking to the newest employee of Family Video.” “That’s awesome baby! I knew you’d get it.” “I’m thinking pizza and milkshakes to celebrate?” “Sure! Anything you want sweetheart.” “Ohhh I like the sound of that.” “You’re ridiculous.” “But you love me and my new discount on shitty horror movies.” “I do love you very much. The discount on movies is just a fun new bonus.”

“Hey baby I’m at work is everything okay?” “Just want to tell you I miss you.” “I miss you too sweetheart. But are you okay?” “Everything is fine. I just haven’t seen you in like two days.” “I know, I’m sorry but tonight how about we have dinner and a movie?” “Oh I’d like that.” “Good. I have to go now okay? But I love you and I’ll see you later.” “I love you too. Have a good day at work.”

“How’s my favorite girl feeling?” “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.” “Still that bad huh? Well good thing I know a way to fix that.” “Oh do enlighten me Dr.Munson” “Cuddles, lots of liquids and more cuddles.” “Well I’ve got the liquids but I seem to missing something to cuddle with.” “Something? No baby you need someone. Human cuddles work best for this type of sickness. Trust me.” “Ohhh okay well let me let you go so I can call Harrington.” “You’re mean when you’re sick.” “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. Will you please come cuddle me?” “Yes but only because I love you and I know Harrington is horrible at cuddling.” “How do you know?” “Look at him. He may be made for swinging a bat and driving kids around but cuddles? Nope. That’s my department of expertise.” “He gives good hugs so I think he’d be fine at cuddling.” “Well too bad you’ll never get to find out.” “You’re so dramatic. But I love you.” “I love you too. I’ll be over in a few minutes.”

[herbgerblin]

Comic transcript is under the cut because it is very, very long. I just wanted to draw a conversation between these boys.

[Transcript: Comic of Barry and Magnus having a conversation during the stolen century. Barry is a middle aged, white man, with a chubby build. He is wearing glasses, a collared shirt, a watch, and bluejeans. Magnus is a young, white man with a hair, muscular build. He is wearing an open shirt that shows his chest hair, and some trousers. Magnus is sitting off by himself when Barry approaches him.

Barry: Something bothering you Magnus?

Magnus: (a little sullen) Yeah, sorta.

Barry: I’m all ears if you need to get it off your chest.

Magnus: If you don’t mind…

Barry: Nah, go for it.

Magnus: We just finished cycle twenty two…er…three. And I’ve been feeling kind of..off.

Barry: how so>?

Magnus: Well, this is only just now hitting me…I’ve been eighteen for over twenty years!

Barry: Woof. Yeah. I’d imagine that’s a lot harder to process than being in your forties for that long.

Magnus: YEAH! I’m your age now!

Barry: I’m technically in my sixties, bud.

Magnus: You know what I mean. When we first took off.

Barry: Yeah, I’m with ya.

Magnus: I guess, well it’s not like we’re Merle.

Barry: Heh, yeah. Merle was already old for a dwarf when we started. He probably doesn’t feel phased at all.

Magnus: So it’s not just me being weird? I talked to Lucretia about how I was feeling, since we’re both sort of in the same boat.

Barry: -literally, yes -

Magnus: And she seemed like, I dunno. She just seemed to roll with it pretty well. So I thought I was overreacting

Barry: Hold on, Mags. Even if Lucretia might’ve outwardly accepted this ordeal. It’s still an ordeal! You guys were robbed of the opportunity to be older! I say opportunity because, well, we’re human. We age fast compared to the other races. We’re just not built to process longevity like this. Especially you and Lucretia. So adapting to middle age naturally is going to be a lot harder. And that sucks.

Magnus: Soooo, what’s it like?

Barry: Hmm?

Magnus: You know, middle age? I always got the impression that that’s when you peak in life.

Barry: Ah, yeah, I’d love to speak with the person who invented that notion.

Magnus: Or when your social life supposedly “ends.”

Barry: Over my multiple dead bodies. To be honest, I’m textbook for someone who either missed or bypassed all the expected milestones. I lucked out career-wise. But my anxieties made it hard to form meaningful relationships. Looking back, I don’t think I really started living until I volunteered for this mission. I guess being older softens the blow of most of my emotional hangups? —Global annihilation and time stopped immortality notwithstanding—(aside) I’m still afraid of the dark thought.

Magnus: You’re telling me you didn’t factor in the apocalypse?

Barry: (laughing) They didn’t offer that protection in my health benefits! (he puts a hand on Magnus’s shoulder) The point is, maturity isn’t finite. And it doesn’t have depreciating value. You were already pretty capable to begin with. And you get more capable, even when you don’t feel it.

Magnus: I’ll try to be

Barry: Good. You’re not alone in this Magnus.

Magnus: Thanks, that means a lot

(Beat of silence)

Barry: You want to help me dangerous science?

Magnus: DO I???

[Fourth image title that reads: Post Story and Song. Barry is talking to a now older Magnus.]

Barry: …so you aged up to your thirties now.

Magnus: ….shit. you’re right.

Barry: How’s it feel?

Magnus: (yelling) Why the fuck does my back hurt so much? Is this supposed to be normal? Is this natural? I want a refund!

Barry: (breaks into laughter)

End Transcript]

[empower-bi-women]

Size kink w/Jay

Word count: 1827

Warnings: SMUT SO 18+ ONLY, size kink, a bit of choking, dirty talk, light degradation maybe, swearing, and thats about it I think 

A/N: So this started off as a little headcanon the turned into a full fic with the help of @bookfrog242 so enjoy our joint 3am thirst. As always feedback is greatly appreciated :) 

tagging @littleredwing89 and @batarella cause ik y’all love Todd 

masterlist 

So we all know this man is B U I L T 

If you're small like me (I’m 5’2 and I like to think of Jay around 6’1ish) he just dwarfs you.

He found out from a night at the manor when Dick and Tim were joking around 

He walked into the room just in time to see you tackle Tim to the ground as he laughed maniacally yelling about a size kink and from the way you reacted he could guess it was you that had it. 

That night he walks into your room all casual like, just asking questions about your day when he decided to corner you

Literally.

“I have a theory about you princess, I know you said that Tim was lying but I think you’re the liar.” 

For every step that he took forward, you took back until your back hit the wall. He gave you a sadistic smile as he kept moving forward until you were staring at his broad chest. 

“Look at me Y/N” you could practically feel the rumble in his chest 

He put his large hand on your cheek, tilting your head up to meet his blue eyes “look at you, so small and cute, I could just wreck you” his hand slid down to your neck, grabbing it lightly. 

“I think you love when I get in your space like this” he kisses your neck, “you’re so close to coming all because I’m bigger,” he bites your neck, “and stronger “ he pulls your hips toward him “and I can use you as my own personal fuck toy” you inadvertently let out a moan and he smirked down at you. 

“I bet you’d let me do just about anything to you. Let me fuck you until your eyes roll back and you can’t think of anything anymore”

He peeled off your shirt and his hands palmed your chest as you let out soft whimpers at his actions, moving your body forwards slightly at the contact. 

“You’re just the perfect size for me to ruin. Looking up at me with those huge eyes acting all innocent,” he nipped at your ear,” I bet you're soaked right now princess.” 

You shook your head, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of being right. 

“Oh really? You don’t think so?” he pulled your shorts and panties down in one swift motion before sliding a finger in between your folds. He felt your juices against his fingers and teased you slightly, smirking at how ruined you already were.

“Well will you look at that princess, I was right.”

You moaned out as he held you in place with one hand around your throat as he worked his finger into you slowly before adding another.

“Fuck Jason.” you moaned out as he just laughed at you clawing at his arms while his thumb rubbed your clit. You felt him increase the speed of his thumb slightly and moaned out from the contact, making him smirk at your helpless form “such a good girl for me, so wet and ready. I bet no one else can make you feel the way I do.”

His speed increased once again as you gasped out “it’s too much Jason I can’t.” He smirked as he felt you throb around his fingers “yes you can princess.” he grunted slightly at the feeling of his dick become harder from the sight of you falling apart at his fingers “and you will. You’ll take what I give you and be grateful” 

You tightened around his fingers as you came with a shout of his name. He kept rubbing your clit, working you through your orgasm. 

Once it started to die down he gave you a wicked grin. “Now I didn't say you could cum, did I princess?” 

You looked up at him with wide eyes, pupils blown “I’m sorry I just couldn’t hold it.” 

He clicked his tongue. “Too bad.” he picked you up and carried you to the bed in the center of the room before sitting you down on his lap. “You wanted to cum so badly, go ahead.” he gestured to his thighs, “knock yourself out princess.”  

You rested your hands on his broad shoulders before slowly dragging your hips across the material of his pants. You whimpered at the sensation of the rough denim on your oversensitive clit. 

He sat back, watching you with a cocky look on his face. Blue eyes danced across your innocent form and he couldn’t help but to stare at the way your lips seemed to form a perfect ‘o’ every time your clit dragged across his thighs. He admired the way you whined and felt something dark stir down in his core, dick hardening at every whimper that escaped your lips. He felt himself letting out slight grunts of approval every time you brushed against his clothed dick, slightly thrusting his hips to create more friction between your hips. 

Your hips moved faster as you neared your high once again before Jason lifted you off his thigh.

“What the fuck Todd.” you whined out. He tossed you onto the bed with ease. “Uh uh princess, you can speak when spoken to - understood?” You nodded and felt his thumb move across your bottom lip, bucking your hips slightly as he teased you with his knee. “No one will ever touch you again, understood?” You nodded as you watched him unbuckle his belt, but felt him pause. “What did I say princess? You’re mine. Understood?” You let out a whimper but managed a reply “Yes sir.”

He let out a low growl “good girl.” He groaned as he slid the tip in "you feel so fucking good princess." you whined as his hips met your body, both of you breath heavy as he looked down at your connecting bodies. "holy shit, look how deep I am inside you." he lightly traces the outline of himself before his large hands trail lower over your stomach before pressing down, making you cry out “Fuck you’re taking me so well princess. Look at you all swollen and soaked for me. Such a good little girl.”

He thrust his hips against yours as you sob in pleasure, tears streaming down your face. "look at you, my pretty fucking princess, all fucked out already and we've barely even started. I bet when you played with yourself you pictured me, or maybe it was Grayson. I see the way you look at him, and while I understand your thoughts about him, he could never fuck you the way I’m about to”

Pinning both your hands in one of his, he held you down as he thrust his hips at an unforgiving pace, watching your face twist up in pleasure. “Keep your eyes on me princess.” he groaned as you bit your lip, eyes fluttering open to meet his. “Fuck princess, I’m gonna cum just from the way you keep tightening around me. Such a good girl, so small but taking me so well.” He moved himself again, withdrawing himself completely before pushing back in 

“You like how I just completely take over, hm? How I make you feel like the small baby you are? Turn you into my brainless brat.” You lie there a moaning mess, not being sure whether to answer him or not. He growls “Tell me how much you love having me inside you princess.”

“I love it,” you cried out, tears running down your cheeks, “you feel so good inside me sir.” 

He stopped inside you. You clawed at his wrists begging him to move before he pulled out, flipped you over.. He grabbed your hands, pinning them behind your back.

“Jason please I'm so close.” you were cut off when you felt an exploding pain in your ass.

“Don’t know how I went this long without touching this amazing ass of yours,” he smacked it once again as you cried out in pain, “fucking beautiful. But I believe you were in the middle of begging? You sounded so pretty for me I’d hate to miss it again.” 

“Please,” your voice shook with need, “I need to cum Jason please.” 

“Aw come on princess you can do better than that,” he lowered himself to growl in your ear, “now be a good girl, and beg.”

You whined and felt yourself grow desperate, you couldn’t help but to finally let go. “Jason, I need you inside me. I need to feel your big dick hitting all the right spots, making me so wet and needy for you. I need to cum around your cock. I need you to make me yours.” 

He smirks at your desperate tone and pushes in and out without warning, you can feel his long dick hit spots you didn’t even know were possible and you love it. You can’t help but get addicted to feeling Jason inside you, your dripping walls accommodating him for his every need. 

“Yeah? You want me to fuck you just like this? Make you my little whore, thinking about nothing but me filling you up with my cum? You should have told me earlier about your little kink, we could have had so much fun.” he rubs your clit bringing you to the edge, “well I guess we just have to make up for lost time then, huh princess.” 

You can feel his dick twitching inside of you, as your walls tighten around him “Fuck sweetheart, gonna cum just from hearing the sounds that are coming out of that pretty mouth of yours.”

You whine out and grind back against his hips, “What is it baby? You can talk. Such a good girl, waiting for permission.” 

“Please can I cum, I need it so bad sir, please.” you begged through tears.

Jason let out a low chuckle at your words. “Hold it.”

You whimpered out as you couldn’t take it anymore, “Please sir, just let me cum. Punish me if you have to, just let me cum.” 

He groaned at the desperation in your voice before speaking again. “Fuck princess, so needy for my cock to make you cum. Cum with me. NOW.” 

You moaned out, tears streaming down your face and sobs leaving your throat. You felt so raw, so used. But you loved it, you wanted - no - craved more. You needed Jason to use your body, you needed to feel his cock deep inside of you at all times. You came with a shout of his name. Your vision turned white for a few moments and you swore your soul left your body. 

You felt his hot cum spurt into you, Jason groaned above you. “Fuck princess you get any tighter you’re gonna rip my dick off.” he slowly pulled out of you, hissing as the cool air hit his body. He flopped down on the bed, giving you a shit eating grin. “So, round two?”